#i feel like the characters could all be improved if they just existed more
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giraffe-lesbian · 1 month ago
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On DAV Companions...
I'm still trying to organize my own thoughts on Dragon Age: Veilguard as a whole. I think I'm like a lot of people, enjoying some of it, unsure about other parts of it, disliking others.
A part of me can't help but wonder if perhaps it's not necessarily the companions who are weak as characters - although, I do believe arguments can be made that some are much more weaker than others - but rather appearing worse due to the larger framework of the game that ultimately engages very little with previous lore.
This is by no means meant to excuse the quality of the companions in Veilguard. Rather, it's just something I've been thinking about that I think might have some merit. If Veilguard companions engage more with the expectations of the players in that they should act and speak as characters rooted in this world and showcase its many intricacies, would they feel as one dimensional as they sometimes do?
Something I'm particularly noticed with companion banter in Veilguard and in other games is that Veilguard conversations revolve less around the characters themselves but more about their development seen only in the game. Veilguard companions, in essence, just react to what is happening to them and don't always offer much outside of that.
In my experience thus far at around 50+ hours in, Veilguard conversations arise mostly around the status of an individual companion's quest line. If they do talk of other things, they usually don't have greater significance of the current state of affairs or the world at large. A few details of the companion might be shared, but anything revealed doesn't say much for the larger world state... Whereas, in Inquisition, I remember more companion banter revolving and engaging around an individual companion's background and the larger way that background plays into their ideals, views, morals, and relationships with other companions. Inquisition banter engaged more with the lore at large, and lore and the status of the companion themselves seemed to inform a character's stance more than anything.
To me, Veilguard banter is based upon reaction - reaction specifically to quests in-game. Inquisition is based moreso upon explanation and expansion. You received whole stories in Inquisition banter, I feel, whereas you get only inklings of that in Veilguard.
I think there's also something to be seen in the simple fact that you could go and ask an Inquisition companion questions for days, it felt, but unless there's a quest or official conversation to be had, you cannot engage with the characters in the slightest. No greetings, no casual conversation, no Q&As. The same even goes for NPCs - the extra conversation with Maevaris Tilani left me sourly disappointed with the lack of opportunity for questions. Imagine the things you could have asked and learned!
(And imagine what a conversation with her would have looked in Inquisition. I think in that difference lies something of importance.)
There just simply isn't the same engagement with companions in DAV as in Inquisition, and I can't help but wonder if that colors a player's experience with a companion to some degree and if that could have been improved had the characters been better integrated into the actual world of Thedas.
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hashslashgrl · 30 days ago
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Blue Lock Boys’ first time making you finish
NSFW! 18+ content
All characters aged up.
Featured characters: Nagi, Isagi, Rin
Warnings: fem!reader, switch!nagi, fingering, softdom!isagi, penetration, vocal praise, toxic!rin, FWB (used for pent up emotion)
Another request for my lovely friend 🤍 as always, leave some requests if you enjoy this ( ◠‿◠ )
Part 2 with Bachira and Chigiri
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ Nagi Seishiro ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
☾ Nagi may be lazy, but he most certainly wasn’t lazy when it came to you.
☾ You showed the boy what it felt like to orgasm by someone else’s manipulation.
☾ He had tried pleasuring himself before after hearing Reo talk about how much he’s missing out on, but ultimately decided it was far too much of a hassle for something he wasn’t much interested in.
☾ Until you showed him pleasure.
☾ That moment for him completely reformed his idea of intimacy, longing more for your touch and wanting to understand this feeling.
☾ When Seishiro heard the whimpers escaping you from just the touch of his large hands, littered with coldness that spread through you as his fingers curled inside you. He knew he loved this feeling.
☾ It took you by surprise, because you didn’t even have to tell him what to do. He kind of just tried what felt right in the moment and (judging by your body’s reaction) he was naturally good at it. But I guess he was born with talent in more than just soccer.
☾ As he creeped his fingers deeper inside you—touching something within you you didn’t know existed—he began to wonder if he loved this more than anything he knew.
☾ That was when you reached your peak.
☾ Shaking with pleasure, you held onto the white haired boy, grasping for something to hold in this moment. Anything to bring you back to earth as your hot core throbbed around the cold fingers within you.
☾ Nagi, feeling your relentless grip upon his back combined with the heat of the moment, both of you breathing in and out taking in what you had experienced, knew what his new high was. And it was trembling beneath him.
🧩 ~•*🧩*•~ Yoichi Isagi ~•*🧩*•~ 🧩
• You and Isagi had actually been in a relationship for a couple months before he made you finish for the first time.
• When he first found out, he was understandably embarrassed.
• He mostly went through the motions of how he thought sex should go until the two of you became more comfortable talking with each other about your needs.
• What you didn’t know is that finding out that one simple confession from you would change him from that moment on.
• It took some trial and error, but the more he learned, the better he got.
“does that feel good?”
“tell me where you want it baby.”
“i want you to wrap your legs around me when you want me to go faster.”
• Yoichi had always been vocal during sex, but it had never been this needy. He wanted—needed to improve. The thought of you not sharing his high with him made him ache.
• One hand enveloped in your hair, one hand holding your waist, and all of you resting on his lap, he thrusted within you, searching for the missing piece.
• He could feel himself nearing his own climax.
• In that moment, you felt all of him within you, and he was damn eager. Looking at this beautiful boy who held you, sweat beading beneath his black hair, determination in his eyes as he held your head to ensure you maintained eye contact with him.
harder.
faster. you thought
• This moment was more intense than it had ever been with Isagi, and you liked it.
“I’m close.” he moaned with desperation in his eyes.
• You could feel it within yourself, and you knew he was searching for that too. You wanted it as much as he did. As his hips began to slow and hitch, you leaned back, tightening your legs around the boys waist.
• That was when he did it. Holding back his own release, he grabbed your waist, throwing you back onto the bed.
• His pace quickened. Your breath was lost. All of the sudden he was deep within you, again and again faster than ever.
• You hadn’t even noticed until after the fact that you were in the midst of both of your climaxes.
• Isagi didn’t need to ask if you had finished for the first time. He could feel it. The final piece of his puzzle had finally been completed.
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Itoshi Rin.
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❖ It didn’t take much for Rin to make you finish.
❖ He drove you crazy, constantly brushing against you or whispering in your ear as if he didn’t know how much it turned you on.
❖ The amount of nights you touched yourself to the thought of him was something you would never admit.
❖ But Rin had made it painfully clear that he was focusing on his soccer career. The only experience you had with him was in your imagination.
❖ Until that night.
❖ He had texted you insisting he needed to be in your presence.
❖ A frustrating game had left the Itoshi brother a mess, looking for a way to work through his frustration.
“look are we doing this or not.”
“if you can’t handle being friends with me after this then i understand.”
❖ While there was truth in his words, the sensation within you couldn’t be ignored, only to be aided by your own touch in the midst of a lonely night, any longer.
❖ It happened fast. He was somehow stronger than you had imagined. Larger than you had imagined as he positioned your hips on the edge of his bed, practically tearing the clothes off your body.
❖ As soon as he finished putting on the condom, he was inside you, all at once. It was enough to make you throw a hand over your mouth, desperate to not make it obvious how often you thought about this exact moment.
❖ His pace was fast, and he was going hard. Eyes darting between both the wall behind the headboard and himself, pressing within you.
❖ You liked that you could help him work through his frustration and finally reach that aching sensation within you.
❖ When he began to reach his climax, his cadence changed. And now he was slowly thrusting, and deep.
❖ You couldn’t hide the sounds of your excitement anymore. The breathiest moans were coming from within you as you felt yourself pulsate.
❖ Just then, he pulled out from within you. Leaving you a shaking mess on his bed.
“did you finish?”
“i worked through some things.”
“i’ll drive you home after i shower.”
❖ You weren’t sure if this was what you really wanted, but you had felt something you never had before. And the fact that Rin had that power drove you crazy.
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crunchystarz · 2 months ago
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Twisted wonderland Self-aware au
Housewardens x GN!Reader
Cw- obsessive and possessive behavior, isolation all that good yandere stuff (remember none of this behavior is healthy nor do I condone it this is purely for entertainment )
A/n: I wrote this while dying of the flu I am not built for the cold weather release me from my chains
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You downloaded the game for fun. As any normal person usually does. What you weren't prepared for was when your game started acting weird.
It started small, your characters dialogue wouldn't line up with the videos you've seen. No big deal perhaps they just got changed during an update.
It got a bit weirder whenever you'd start seeing new sprites you haven't seen anywhere else. You tried to shrug it off as you just managed to get a newer version of the game(somehow).
You swore the characters started to address you more directly but you again tried to ignore it. You just thought your brain was playing tricks on you.
It was only until you realized you left your phone at your apartment. You quickly rushed home to retrieve it just to find a very real house warden in your home.
RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
REALIZATION:
When Riddle first suddenly became aware of the fact his existence was nothing but code he was unbelievably out of it. All the conversations he had, his harsh upbringing, everything was just part of his character. Were the feelings of anger, confusion and acceptance even real? He went on a bit of a rampage being harsher than usual but he didn't wish to shatter the reality for everyone else (he'd also sound more like a mad hatter If he tried to explain the fact they were just in a game) So no one knew why for the next month Riddle was more on edge than usual.
He came to accept the fact his life was nothing but a path set for him. He instead started to focus on you(or should I say yuu)
He soon realized that the ramshackle perfect was nothing but a hollow shell. No notable personality or backstory. But he soon managed to be aware of your experience. Glitches allowed him to hear snippets of your voice and how you truly felt. He was your favorite and he wanted it to stay that way.
He'd make sure he was always on your home screen. He'd even get risky and start talking to you directly. He'd listen to you ramble as you played the game. His face would flush red not out of anger but embarrassment when you'd change his outfits or get excited when you realized he'd gotten a new card.
He wished there wasn't a screen keeping you away from each other...
BREAKING CODE:
(I like to think this would be similar to an overblot In a way and enough emotion could cause them to lose themselves and eventually overwrite their code)
Riddle was over the moon. He was really in your room. Sevens he never thought a day would come where he'd be standing in your space. It was so you...
It felt weird, in a space that wasn't just there for scenes. It was actually lived in.
When he sees you he feels as if he succeeded in his life's purpose. You're confused and he can see that. He tries to explain to you how he didn't even know how he had gotten where he was.
You let him stay in your apartment because you couldn't really let him out in a world he knows nothing about. You're too kind he says.
DAY TO DAY LIFE:
Riddle takes care of most of the household chores. While you're gone, he keeps himself busy by tidying up, reading, or researching ways to improve the home environment. As well as constantly making rules for you to follow. He's so used to rules being set in place, it's what he was programmed to do so In the beginning you let it slide.
However he becomes controlling, trying to regulate every aspect of your life to “protect” you. He insists on setting the rules for "safety" and gets visibly distressed if you don't follow them.
Constantly checks if the you're eating properly or following a “schedule” he created for you both. If you don't he'll sometimes scold you harshly like he would in game. He'll apologize later in fear of upsetting you, he just wants you to be safe.
Becomes passive-aggressive if you end up spending too much time with others, interpreting it as rebellion. All he's trying to do is set you on the right path , can't you see that?
-"It’s for your own good [Name],Without guidance, this world will overwhelm you. Let me take care of you."
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
REALIZATION:
When Leona realizes he's in a video game he's surprisingly the calmest. He's upset and disorientated but he doesn't cause a big scene or let it be known he's losing his mind. He's used to concealing how he feels from others; it's in his codeHe's more laid back after this fact. No matter what he did he'd never be able to change his fate, because it was already set for him he had no control over it. So why did it matter what he did?
When you caught his attention the beast man was obsessed with proving himself to you. To him you were the only person who saw him for him. Who understood him. He was your favorite.
He'd never been anyone's number one anything before and the fact you choose him he wasn't going to let anything take that away from him.
The screen was just another obstacle he'll overcome to get what he wants.
BREAKING CODE:
Leona was really in your room...your room. He felt overcome with joy. Genuine joy, something he'd...never felt. Everything he felt up until then was just what the developers wanted him to feel.
Needs to say you were more than confused when you saw a lion hybrid snuggled up in your bed when you came home.
After getting an explanation you offered to let him stay in your apartment; if you didn't you were more than sure he'd be taken for government testing or something. Too bad you now needed a new phone.
DAY TO DAY LIFE :
Leona is still a lion at heart, he frequently loiters around you, draping himself over your furniture or bed like a lion staking a claim.He’s territorial and quick to anger if someone else tries to get too close to you. Despite his gruffness, he seeks constant reassurance that the you won’t leave him.
He's possessive and hates whenever you leave and doesn’t hide his irritation. He often tries to convince you to skip work/school, suggesting you should spend the day relaxing with him instead. (Sometimes he'll go out with you and will send looks to anyone who looks at you too long)
you're just happy everyone thinks that his animal features are crazy prosthetic since he refuses to hide them
When you come home, Leona monopolizes your time, insisting on napping together and getting all your attention.
He'd dislike the smell of other people on you when you come home and will drag you to bed for cuddles. None of these humans deserve your attention, he worked so hard for it not them .The thought angers him.
- "You're mine, I can protect you—provide for you —love you, you don't need anyone else but me those humans can't do what I can"
AZUL ASHHENGROTTO
REALIZATION:
Azul understandably does not take the life altering realization that he's not actually real well. His usually kept together appearance started to slip. He was all over the place. How could he not? This left Floyd and Jade completely confused why their boss was so out of it. It wasn't like him. He couldn't tell anyone else about this, not that they'd believe him anyway.
His interest in you starts as a mix of fascination and suspicion. He’s drawn to your influence but wary of your intentions. It became an obsession .
He saw you as the only real thing in his "life", Azul was your favorite out of all the characters, you picked him. He'd always make sure he looked right on your home screen (it wouldn't matter anyway since his sprite would always look the same)
You became the only thing he could think about, he'd have you no matter how much it took
BREAKING CODE:
Azul at first didn't think him being in your room was real. He thought it was a dream. When it finally set in that it wasn't just him losing his mind he was more than just happy.
He was in his darlings room. Everything felt so perfect. But not as perfect when he saw you for the first time. You were more than confused to see him(now in your living room) looking around.
After explaining the situation you let him stay with you in your apartment. You had no other choice where else would he go? It wouldn't be so bad to have extra help around anyway.
DAY TO DAY LIFE:
Much like Riddle , Azul takes care of most of the daily tasks. He offers to assist you with your tasks, whether it’s by organizing your work schedule or helping with assignments. However, he might feel a little hurt if you seem too busy for him. Pay attention to him please!
Don't forget that this is a sly sly man. Azul becomes emotionally manipulative, weaving situations that ensure you stays reliant on him. He uses your gratitude and trust to justify his control, often veiling his obsession with charm and just him being a "gentleman".
He'll shower you in gifts and constantly praise you on everything. He'll try and offer you deals just to make sure you have ties with him.
He'll text you at work with encouraging needy messages. He's always in your corner so just rely on him okay? You don't need anyone else.
- "You’d be lost without me. Everything I do is for you. Just let me take care of all your work."
Kalim Al-Asim
REALIZATION:
Kalim was in denial for the longest time about the realization that he was in a program. He couldn't wrap his head around it. He didn't want to bother Jamil more than he already did especially not with something this big. It was hard to not say anything while his mind was going crazy with thoughts as he tried to pretend nothing was wrong.
When he realized yuu wasn't just another side character and in fact the player he became obsessed with knowing more. He'd get so excited whenever the game would glitch and he could hear your voice and you talking as you played around on the home screen.
It made him so happy; Kalim was your favorite character. Others would wonder why he'd be more bubbly than usual whenever he'd hear you compliment him on his newest card. He wanted all your attention onto him.
He'd make your every wish come true. This screen wouldn't stop that.
BREAKING CODE :
Oh wow he was really in your room. It was way smaller than he expected but that didn't matter. It was your room so it made it much better. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this. He was basically bouncing off the walls; touching everything.
When you walked into your room you didn't have time to react before Kalim was pulling you a crushing hug causing you to yelp. He apologized a bit flustered.
After explaining (he could barely keep himself together) you allowed him to stay. He was so sweet how could you let him out into the world?
DAY TO DAY LIFE:
Kalim insists on accompanying you everywhere. Wherever you go Kalim is clinging to you. Your neighbors have all taken a liking to him so him being with you isn't so bad.
He isn't good with chores but he tries his best to clean and tidy when you're gone. He tries to cook but has burnt it multiple times so you tell him not to. He buys you gifts you don't even need all the time. He just wants to spoil you.
Kalim’s obsession is rooted in his desire to make you happy at all costs. However, his constant need to please you and keep you close becomes overwhelming, and suffocating. If you tell him this he'll make you feel bad, that he just loves you so much and wants to take care of you; you often cave.
When you return from work or school, Kalim greets you with hugs and insists on spending the rest of the evening together, often talking about what he did while you were gone.
-" [Name]! I missed you sooo much, you should let me go with you to work, you don't even need work I could make all of your wishes come true"
VIL SCHONHEIT
REALIZATION:
Vil did not take it well... He was absolutely losing his mind. His beauty was nothing but pixels. Was everything he worked for was fake? Everything he knew was just controlled by someone else. It was so frustrating. He ended up locking himself away until he could accept the truth.
When he realized yuu was the player he was...angry. However that anger subsided after he started to know you for you. Vil was...your favorite. It boosted his ego more than anything.
He wanted to be in the spotlight at all times. He craved your attention. It was like he became addicted to your praise. He'd smile whenever you'd call him pretty whenever you looked at a card of his.
He wanted to be perfect for you. He'd show you how perfect he could be, you'd see. He just needed to get rid of the screen.
BREAKING CODE:
Vil stood in the middle of your room. Everything was too perfect to touch. He took it all in. everything felt just...right.
He didn't even calculate how he got in your room but he didn't care. He was in your world and sevens he'd never felt better.
When you walked into him looking at himself in your mirror (taking in how he was an actual real person) . You were so confused why this gorgeous man was in your room.
After explaining the situation you agreed to let him stay with you; if you didn't you swear he'd get kidnapped or something to become a big model. It wouldn't be bad to have a pretty face to look at when you got home.
DAY TO DAY LIFE:
Vil insists on controlling your wardrobe and grooming, often brushing aside whatever protests you have. He discourages you from associating with “lesser” individuals, claiming they tarnish the your image.
He knows what's best for you come on, those other people will only be dragging you down from your true potential. But of course you wouldn't know that he couldn't blame you.
Vil’s obsession honestly manifests in his relentless efforts to “perfect” for you. He'll critique your choices and actions, believing he alone knows what’s best for you. His fixation often leaves you feeling scrutinized and trapped.
He believes you just need him. He'll do everything just as long as he gets praise from you. Tell him he's being a great help won't you?
"You deserve only the best, and I won’t let anyone drag you down—!"
IDIA SHROUD:
REALIZATION:
This is not as exciting as they make it in manga. Idia was having a crisis. Realizing that he was in a video game made him want to hide away even more than he normally would. It didn't matter how hard Ortho tried he just wouldn't budge. He stayed cooped up in his room trying so hard to distract himself from the fact that he was nothing but code just like the ones he's learned to manipulate. Idia is not going to recover from this.
Idia was already wary around yuu but when he realized you were yuu he wanted to know more. He was still too scared to leave his dorm so you didn't see him much other than the homescreen.
He was so taken back when he realized that, he — Idia shroud was your favorite. He'd never been anyone's favorite before. He was just a loser that stayed cooped up in his room all day and you still liked him?
He grew obsessed with that feeling of being seen, he wanted to just use whatever knowledge he had to break past the screen.
BREAKING CODE:
When Idia realized he was actually in your room he damn near fainted. No scratch that he did. He was so overwhelmed. He didn't deserve to be in your room. Oh man how did he even get here? Nevermind that.
He was so incredibly.. happy. He was in the room of the one person who he felt knew him more than anyone. It made him feel bubbly and his hair flashed pink a bit.
He looked for something to do fearing he'd have a panic attack if he thought about this too long. So you ended up finding him tinkering with your computer when you came home. He basically died when he saw you.
After explaining to you what happened, you, now trying to get him to calm down agreed to let him stay. Not that he'd leave anyway he practically already made your bed his sanctuary.
DAY TO DAY LIFE:
Your room basically became his. He keeps it clean but doesn't really do a lot of the house work other than that.
Idia spends the day gaming, tinkering with gadgets, or monitoring your online activity (just to make sure you're okay, of course!). He reacts the worst to you being away and just does not like it one bit.
Idia struggles with separation anxiety (like a once stray cat)and might try to convince you to work or study from home. If you insist on going out he bombards you with messages . He'll subtly manipulate situations to keep you away from others, convincing you the world is too dangerous.
When you come home, Idia is overly clingy, insisting you spend the rest of the night together and refusing to let you focus on work. He just wants his cuddles and your attention you were out with those normies all day!
-" Can’t you just stay here and binge-watch something with me? It’s way safer—and more fun."
MALLEUS DRACONIA:
When the fae realizes he's nothing but binary code strug together he's more than perplexed. Malleus has dealt with a lot of things in his time but nothing could prepare him for the crushing reality. He's completely disoriented and Sebek nor Silver can figure out why because he won't tell them. He started lacking on work and just overall seemed more spaced out.
He was very quick to put two and two together. Yuu was the player. It was obvious; human without powers manages to get into NRC and some how is involved with almost everything. It wasn't quite hard to figure out.
Malleus idealizes you seeing you as a perfect being. In his eyes, you are kind, compassionate, and the only one who truly understands him. He was your favorite, this confirms you too think you too are meant for each other.
He'd do anything just for you to join him when he takes up the crown, it's just the screen that's not making it possible.
BREAKING CODE:
Once in your room Malleus doesn't look like he cares at all actually but inside he was losing his mind in the most positive way ever.
Nothing was how he imagined. This is how you like your space? Noted. He tidied up your place a bit and sat in the middle of the room as to not mess anything.
When you walked into him just sitting there you were so confused but he just gave you a smile showing off his fangs.
After explaining the situation you let him stay in your apartment; too scared what he'd manage to get into if you didn't.
DAY TO DAY LIFE:
Malleus makes sure everything is perfect for you at all times. Everything is organized and you never have to worry about anything being out of place.
Like Leona Malleus has animalistic tendencies, him being a fae dragon causes him to be well.. possessive, not wanting anyone else to monopolize your attention. He might grow jealous of your coworkers, friends, or even family, viewing them as a threat to your bond.
He. Is.clingy. worse than Kalim and Idia. He insists on escorting you everywhere, even if it’s unnecessary. People recognized him as "[Name's] horned bodyguard!" Gods you hated it. He tries to insert himself into every aspect of your life, wanting to be by your side constantly.
It took him so long to just be okay with letting you leave on your own. Once you're home he's bombarding you with questions about your day.(Secretly snuggling up to you so you can have his scent again)
-" I could just use magic you know, there's no need—I'm simply a better option for this stuff you can rely on me"
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MASTERLIST
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vinjinssunglasses · 4 months ago
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Hi dear how are you I hope you are doing well! Can you write a hc about yamazaki shingen in which he loves one of his wife(yn) but yn is and independent , smart and strong will woman who doesn't like her situation! And he only knows her children his own!
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✧ character; yamazaki shingen
✧ summary; all your life, you’ve been mistreated. Until you met Shingen, who showed you compassion. However, in this clan you’re just a pawn. To them, you’re not human. Shingen only claims his children as his like the others do, brainwashed by his upbringing. You hate your situation, and admist the tears you tell him how you really feel.
✧ tags; hurt/comfort, angst, tragedy, communication
✧ w/c; 3.4k
✧ a/n; tysm for req ^^ help this took so long. shingen crying btw?! uhhbye ily guys <33
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You head towards your favourite place in this forsaken place, the only area you could feel calm under its gaze — the fountain. Its splashes of water calm you, letting you take a deep breath as if a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. You flipped a coin inside, wishing upon the stars to give you a stroke of luck. Even though you did this everyday, everything always seemed to get worse. Cleaning up for others beyond your own will, while questioning authority will only get you tied in tighter shackles than before, is it really worth the risk? Despite your protests, you were always forced into submission.
As if the world despised and damned your very existence, cursed your name in spite, life seemed to only get worse from here. Letting out a disappointed sigh, you hear the familiar laughing and gossiping in the background. As soon as you turned around, you instantly regretted it. Those other ‘lowlifes’ were laughing at your situation, accompanied by a few low-rankers of the Yamazaki clan.
Don’t they ever get enough?
Nobody here liked you, they all wished upon a more wealthy clan to take the spot as Gun’s mother. They only knew you as Gun’s mother anyway.
They yelled and threw curse words at your name, while you rightfully walked past them, ignoring their usual antics. It was like this everyday, it was just something you were forced to get used to. You know better than to let them go like this, however your protests don’t improve the situation. And they’re starting to get tired of reprimanding your behaviour.
“Go back to your lethargic husband then, huh? We all know Shintaro—.” What? The rage hit you, sharp and blinding. Before you had even realised, your hands shot out, tangling in her hair before yanking her forward, forcing her to look into your eyes.
“What? What did you say?” The girl’s laughter cut off, dissolving as you slapped her, the sound ringing in the silence.
“Talk about me all you like. But I won’t sit here annd listen to you insult my husband, understood?”
Her eyes widened, darting between you and your clenched fists, body trembling as she dared not spare another word. Her defiance crumbled under the weight of your hard, breath catching in her throat as she nodded obediently.
Then you heard it, the familiar shout of your name, cutting through the noise, sharp and unyielding. You loosened your grip on her, turning to the tall figure walking towards you. Quickly picking up those girls were creating false accusations against you, claiming you started to pick a fight, you could only sigh and await your punishment.
Here it comes, the bitterness sinking deeper.
“Come with me.”
You clicked your tongue in a subtle gesture of disapproval, following along unwillingly. The distant chatter of the girls fading away eased you a little, yet you were still stern. He fanned himself, choosing his words carefully as though to not provoke you up further. The trees are starting to blossom into a lovely pastel pink, and the sun is starting to set later than it should. Summer is one of the only things you look forward to. Its burning rays distract you from the thoughts that often keep you awake at night.
“What happened?” His tone unusually kind, as if offering a branch of support.
“Whatever they said about me.” A curt reply passed your lips, as you upheld your serious frown.
“Still, there was no need to—“ He stopped himself, adjusting his glasses as though rethinking his approach. Shintaro parted his lips, as if to say something, before speaking: “I have an offer for you.”
His gaze narrowed slightly, and you raised an eyebrow and you came to a halt. Shintaro scanned the area for any potential spies, then leaned closer, breathe warm against your ear.
“Betray Shingen with me. It’s a simple process, and I guarantee you a happier life.”
“What?” This bastard is also a traitor? Recently, there has been a slow yet steady rise of people disliking the current leader, and the vice president’s support of this sentiment increases the danger. For a moment, you were paralysed. Is this some sort of a rebellion? “I’m not going to do that.”
Shintaro sighed, almost as though he expected your refusal. “I should’ve guessed.”
“Don’t speak another word of this.” You spat, your mind whirling as you turned sharply, making your waytowards your chambers. Each step felt like nails stabbing into your feet, and you dragged your torn self.
‘Rebel against Shingen’ Those words replayed in your mind like a broken record, making your mind dizzy. Lost in thought, you collided into someone. Mumbling a rushed apology, you tried to push past, only to feel a clamped hand around your wrist.
“I was looking for you! Shingen’s kid are playing In the garden when he should be training, so can you-” Shingen’s kids? Those words struck like a slap. Am I just a babysitter to these people?
“Get off me!” You pushed them away onto the floor, tearing up at the eyes. Once having fought for your independence, you believed your life had a purpose other than the cruel expectations set upon you as a birthing machine, a housewife. Your beliefs are all worthless, mercilessly proven by how now you were drifting upon a place that left no room for your wants and needs.
Where did all of this mess began? Was it the day you were born that life was fated to become like this? Nurtured to be obedient and quiet, yet you never want your voice to be silenced. It didn’t matter how much you tried to scream, yell, protest, it was if you were deafened to arrogant ears. Your teenage years were the worst point, you were described as reckless and selfish to the yakuza rules. All these emotions stirred inside to create a mixture of depressive episode and lashes of anger, all to make someone listen to you even once.
It wasn’t your best bet to resort to violence. But it worked. Even though you were allowed to personally train as a woman, you were just as capable as a man at heart. Secretly watching how your older brothers took over aikido, you begged for them to train you behind your clan’s backs. When they found out, they almost disowned you. Where else were you to go? Wandering the streets, with all these tattoos? Nobody would talk you in as the mess you were.
Shingen.. The leader of a clan known for its ability to make even the strongest, well-known clans to sink to their knees. Although he was seem ruthless by his uptight exterior, he was the first to ever appreciate you. The only man to ever carry you in his arms, bury his face into your neck, and treat you so lovingly. You hated yourself for the little you were worth, but he truly made you feel like the only person in the world.
It feels like your world is collapsing atop you, nobody there to pull you out of the way of a boulder. Deep breaths, deep breathes… For all your life you’ve bottled up all your emotions, so why is it so difficult now? As soon as you pushed open that door, you practically collapsed onto that bed, sinking into the warm sheets.
That following week came the dreaded family event, where other clans came to congratulate the birthdat of Gun. He was just a little boy by now, 10 years old. That little boy deserved the world, to be happy and play kendama all day as he wished. Though his life was already planned for him — the day he was to take over all the gangs in the area, the day he’d give up all his dreams and surrender himself. Just two years ago, would he cling to your skirt and hold your hand tightly when you spoke to unfamiliar people. How do they expect an innocent soul like his to ruthlessly murder like his father?
Life isn’t fair on him, nor on you. Coexisting in this selfish world, only you stood by his side. You wanted the best for him, for him to do anything he wanted. Against your will, he were to be a street fighter, fated to inheriting that name, ‘Machine Gun’.
You make sure to apply extra concealer to cover the dark circles and the tear stains from the night before. Shingen came from behind you and kissed your neck, biting your earlobe teasingly, his tall stature curling around you.
“Are you okay, baby?” It’s best if he doesn’t know anyway, right?. Around you, he seems to never stop smiling, unable to keep his loving gaze off of you. it’s be a shame to wipe that all away with your own burdens.
“Im alright, Shingen.” I smile, resting my free hand upon his head, stroking through the silky-smooth strands.
“We have to get going,” Shingen softly spoke, taking your hand in his. Before leaving, he pressed a delicate kiss on the back of your hand, reminding you how much he values you.
It’s 5 o’clock, and Shingens swarmed with the other ladies from different clans. Although jealous, they must be going through the tough traditions we must uphold — to marry and have sex with the man who upholds the most power. In this case, your beloved. That was how your twisted romance started — from the unfairness placed upon you and thousands of other undeserving women. You were lucky to have given birth to your son. Ever so often, you think about what could’ve happened in stead. What if Shingen never opened his heart to you, fallen so deeply in love with you?
Taking a glass of wine, you finished it in one gulp, hoping to shove these thoughts to the back of your mind. Shingens still the same man he was when he first met you — cold, unbothered with a sharp, scrutinising glare. The same one that you found yourself shamefully attracted to. Unbothered, he sighed, absentmindedly making conversations, eyes drifting away from theirs as if something is occupying his mind.
Before you could even stand, you hear the familiar shout of your name. Applauding joyfully with a half-finished wine glass in her hand, hiccuping while congratulating you
“It’s been a couple years,” She smiled, wrapping her arm around your shoulder. You scowled while stiffly trying to make some distance in between you two. “How’s his son?”
“His..?” You muttered, confused. “He’s doing well, he’s a quick learner. The Kojima’s have said he’s mastered Aikido by now.”
Keeping up appearances was something you were always taught to follow. It was engraved in you, impossible to unlearn after being beaten for forgetting.
“Right, right. He’ll grow up just to be like his father. Shingen-nim has been raising him well.” One thing you hated about Shingen was that he was not present in his child’s life often. When Gun cried in the middle of the night, it was put upon you to rock him to sleep once more; despite the aches of your back. Breastfeeding, playing with him, changing his diapers — your responsibility. The only thing the Yamazaki clan did for you was train him to be a killing machine, it was his sole purpose for his birth in the first place.
“Yes. He’s a good father.” Your eyebrows furrowed, yet you had to keep that polite, strained smile on your face.
“He looks just like him, doesn’t he? Reverse eyes, fighting skills—“
“Apologies, it seems I have something to do right now. Is it okay if I get back to you?” Your fists clenched at your sides, voice straining to keep its elegance.
“Oh well, if it’s that important then it cannot be helped.” She took another drink of her wine, waving you goodbye while you stormed off. Fighting skills and reverse eyes… If it wasn’t for that, would she even care? Was she purposely ignoring all the resemblance I have to my own child? He’s the splitting image of me for crying out loud?! Holding your head in your hands, you quickly realised this would be a bad look.
Your son was sitting next to his nephew, Haruto. Gun loved playing games and having fun, while on the other hand Haruto was interested in strategies and books. Whenever you saw him, he was always knee-deep in another tale. Although they were opposites, they always got along. Such a shame that Gun won’t have much time to play with him when he got older. Their bond was like brothers, if you saw Gun you would also see Haruto. As if they were attached at the hip. He’d even watch him practicing martial arts, and Gun would rest his head upon his shoulder while Haruto read. The warm, spring breeze hitting their faces while he basked in the sun’s rays.
Unlike Gun, you felt isolated — nobody to truly let out your emotions to. Everyone was enjoying the evening while you were torn in the corner. Where’s your happy ending? That son, your blood and tears in one being, wasn’t even socially considered yours. And Shingen didn’t seem to mind your discretisation. Sitting here, bathing him his own luxuries, on top of the world like he’d always had been. Raised to be head, nobody had ever put him in his place.
That rebellion Shintaro mentioned.. Your eyes shift to Shintaro’s overwhelming presence in the crowd, creating chatter amongst the women. If they couldn’t have Shingen, they’d atleast marry another powerful man like him. This all makes you wonder, is the rebellion valid? Again, you’re giving yourself a headache, it’s best not to think about it.
The night carries on, and you find yourself sitting, alone with the company of the depressive thoughts to fight to shove them away. That conversation replays in your head like a broken record. He’s your son too, right? You birthed and raised him all by yourself.
Shingen excused himself from the idle chatter and came to sit next to you, lacing your hands in his.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you. What was the lady from that clan talking about?” He asked, unable to suppress a smile when he’s with you. Softly gazing into your eyes, a sharp contrast from the same stern eyes that he used at those women striking conversation.
“Jonggun. She was asking how he were getting along.” You answer honestly, while his thumb gently strokes the back of your hand. “I told her he’s mastered Aikido.”
“Of course, he’s a Yamazaki through and through,” Shingen spoke, taking a deep breath while using that steady authority he always used, with a hint of gentleness. “I expect no less, my bloodline is pure.”
Those careless words pierced through your chest like a sharp blade. All this constant stress made your headache even more, and you poured another glass of the wine resting on the table.
“Pure..” You muttered, those words buttering your tongue, voice drowned out by the hum of chatter. Taking a glance at his face, he remained unfazed, looking down upon your soft fingers against his scarred, calloused ones. He never noticed how you felt. Never read the emotion building up onto your voice, causing your face to contort into one of frustration. Then again, you’re in public, you’ve been taught to remain calm and collected.
“The children will carry on my legacy.”*
“Your legacy, you say..?” You repeated once more, this time loud enough for his ears to catch on. Setting the glass down with more force then necessary, creating a loud thump that diverted eyes and conversations.
“I’m feeling unwell, please excuse me.” Walking through these damned hallways once more, the echo of gasps seemed to fade away. You almost couldn’t bare to see his face any longer. Undoing the laces and ties of your kimono, you threw it onto the floor in a fit of fury . The undergarments lay scattered upon the floor while you buried your head into your pillow. The makeup slid off your face, staining the pillow and smudging your mascara. Whether it had been minutes or hours, you didn’t know. After a while, you eventually calmed down, sniffling while staring at your blank ceiling. Only then did you hear the door sliding open.
He called your name, and you instantly rolled over, turning away from him.
“Are you alright? What’s the matter?” He sat onto the bed, you weren’t ready to confront him with this yet. The years you’ve endured this pain. The mistreatment. You were ashamed for yourself. Gathering all your courage, you spoke:
“What you said back then. Before I excused myself.” Shingen raised an eyebrow. “You always say that.” You spat, voice trembling, bubbling over with the suppressed tears.
“Our children. Our legacy. They’re my children too. My tainted blood runs through their veins just as much as yours. But you never say that, do you? Not does anyone. Nobody acknowledges my very existence, they only talk to talk about your son, your achievements. You don’t bat an eye — no, you don’t even care how I feel.” You swallowed throat right, tears streaming down your face. “Or maybe it’s my fault, I..”
The words tumbled out your mouth now, chest tight, spilling with the words you’ve always wanted to say. “How come the world only cares about you? I was the one who changed his diapers, I was the only one who was acruallly present in his life. Were you even there when he took his first steps? Or learnt how to say ‘mama’? I’m just the perfect vessel to continue your perfect bloodline.”
The room was deadly silent. Shingen held his head in his hands, lips parting yet remained silent. He took a deep breathe, as if fully processing it all.
“I can’t do this anymore.” You let out a chocked sob. “Pretending everything’s fine, being fucked over constantly, I..”
Shingen breath hitched, the silence between you becoming unbearable. Finally he spoke, low and ashamed.
“I haven’t been completely blind to all of this. I know they haven’t been as accepting of you as they should. You’re a strong woman, yet I’ve let things go too far. There’s only so much in person can take.” Voice barely above a whisper, laced with a vulnerability you rarely heard, he felt too ashamed to even look at you. “The things they’ve said behind my back are unacceptable. I’ve seen how they deduce your worth to nothing…” Shingen could barely piece himself together to finish that sentence, struggling to string together words.
“They’re my family; I was raised this way.. This ignorant mindset of mine passed down from generations, it’s almost apart of me. It’s no excuse for what I’ve let you go through. You’re right — I should’ve been there but I wasn’t.” For the first time ever, you watched a tear glisten down his cheeks. “I should’ve been there. Not just for you, for our son.”
“Why must you make me stay in a household where I’m never good enough? I can’t live like this forever.”
Shingen didn’t have an answer. He sniffled, as if weighing all the years he refused to reflect on. The silence was think and oppressive, and neither of you wanted to spare a word. Finally, he raised his gaze, coming to terms with himself.
“It’s time things changed. From now own, I want you to tel me what you want. I’ll do anything, even if it’s means shedding blood.”
You blinked, the words sinking in slowly.
Shingen reached to cup your face, with the familiar feel of his firm yet gentle touch.
“This clan has always been my legacy to take over. Ever since I was young, I’ve been subjected to vigorous training to be the man that I am today. But if it costs me my beloved and our own child, it’s time I choose differently. For you, for us, for him.”
The you pulled yourself into him, pressing your tear-streaked face against his kimono while he wrapped you in his arms. You choked back your words, your sobs muffled against his increasing heartbeat. The tension within you. unwinded slowly while his words lingered in the air. Shingen sighed, uncontrollably smiling while he sobbed.
Shingen’s hand found its way back of your head, fingers tangled in your hair, his relieved breaths a soothing sigh against your temple. As he held you, his face twistes into one you’ve never witnessed before — remorse. After years, he saw himself break, quiet trembling sobs escaping his lips. His grip around tightened, as if he were afraid to be alone.
It was his first apology. A start to a new era.
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elumish · 1 month ago
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I just talked about why people should be engaging critically with entertainment media and specifically getting used to identifying specific patterns or rhetoric, so here is a very non-exhaustive list of things that I see (including in ostensibly progressive entertainment media spaces like fandom or queer books):
Framing representative democracy as bad, especially when contrasted with non-democratic/autocratic or anocratic rule (e.g., "good things can get done when there's just someone smart with all the power who can force decisions through without having to debate all the time")
Benevolent dictators / benevolent autocrats (e.g., "They're such a kind and intelligent ruler, so it's good that they have absolute decision making authority")
Blaming newcomers / immigrants for the degredation of traditions (e.g., "It's not that we don't want them here, it's just that they keep trying to change things instead of learning the ways we do things")
Imperialism as a means to "fix" or "improve" other societies (e.g., "they oppress women, so invading them, deposing their goverment, and adding them to the empire is good because it will help women")
Equating gender with body parts (e.g., "secondary gender" to indicate alpha / beta / omega in the omegaverse)
Equating body parts with personality traits (e.g., alphas being inherently more aggressive and omegas being inherently more submissive in the omegaverse)
Equating sexuality with personality traits (e.g., all asexual characters being shy or quiet)
Equating sexuality with gender (e.g., all asexual characters being female or non-binary)
Lack of accounting for women or queer people in worldbuilding (e.g., "that magical species just doesn't have gay people")
Regularly having Jewish characters celebrate Christmas
Excusing abusive behavior with a bad or sad backstory (e.g., "how could he help being fascist, he was bullied as a child")
Women (except for the FMC and possibly a friend) being uniformly catty, cruel, power-hungry, man-obsessed, and/or promiscuous adulterers
Black characters only existing to support white characters
Black female characters being presented as being too strong and independent to want or need a romantic relationship, especially while white female characters have happy and fulfilling romantic relationships
Associating low empathy with violent inclinations or behavior (e.g., "he just didn't feel empathy for anyone, and that's why he became a serial killer")
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dinarosie · 6 months ago
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The Rise of Snape Hate: Marauders' Rebranding and Snape's Villainization (Part 1)
I often hear people wonder why Severus Snape has become more hated in recent years, to the extent that even Voldemort faces less criticism and vitriol from fans. In the early days of the book’s release and even long after the final Harry Potter film was screened, the "Marauders" fandom hardly existed. James Potter was seen as a background character, best known as Harry's father, and did not play an important role among fans. Sirius and Lupin were mostly regarded as Harry's mentors, and their time as Marauders during their teenage years wasn't a focal point of fan attention. In the Canon, the Marauders didn’t hold much significance either, there were few details about them. They were mentioned in just a handful of small flashbacks, mainly depicting bullying, and their friendships were portrayed as rather toxic and disappointing. Naturally, these flashbacks were not only unappealing but could also be disheartening for readers. However, a new generation of fans wanted to bring something new to the Harry Potter universe that better matched their fantasies and imaginations (especially after the failure of "The Cursed Child" and the controversy surrounding J.K. Rowling). As a result, a new story emerged: "Harry Potter and the World of the Marauders," inspired by Generation Z's fantasies.
They were given the attractive looks of actors like Ben Barnes, Timothée Chalamet, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and were morally very different from their canon versions. They became a group of charming, wealthy, and popular school heroes with dynamic, platonic, and romantic relationships that captivated fans. Since there weren't many details about them in the original books, fans freely created tragic backstories and fascinating dramas (for example, the Black family using a "Cruciatus curse" on their children!!!). These factors quickly increased their popularity and caught the attention of content creators on the internet.
But what happened to Severus Snape?
These newly reimagined, charming, and beloved Marauders needed an antagonist to heighten the school drama and make their adventures more exciting. Who better to fill this role than Severus Snape—broken, lonely, and completely different from them, with none of the looks, wealth, or popularity?
"The more they improved the Marauders to make them more likable, the more they vilified and distorted Snape to make him easier to hate."
It's clear that when Snape is portrayed as a powerful, dark, and evil wizard (even at the age of 11), James Potter and Sirius Black are turned into justice-seeking heroes, making all their bullying and cruelty towards Snape seem justified and even heroic.
Now, ask yourself: Is it easier to like the James Potter from the books—Arrogant and a bully—or the James Potter who is handsome and kind, punishing an evil villain worse than Voldemort named Severus Snape to save other students and his girlfriend? This is how the Marauders became charming and popular heroes, and Snape became a evil.
Many fans don’t even know Snape. From the moment they enter the Marauders fandom, they learn that they must hate Snape, and this trend continues. They only read the books with the intent of magnifying Snape's flaws, which is why his faults are highlighted even more than Voldemort's, and wherever Snape’s name is mentioned, they feel obligated to display their blind hatred to prove their loyalty to the ideals of their beloved Marauders.
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wannaeatramyeon · 9 months ago
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Lookism: I can fix him (no really I can)
G/N. Gun, DG, Sammy, Jakey, Ryuhei, Goo, Vin
You didn't roll up your sleeves, ready to fix the men that came into your life. As if you were some amber or red flag magnet, and you had ample time and energy and patience to sort out their issues. Somehow though, it happened anyway. Slowly. Little by little.
With yourself more of a dubious observer more than anything.
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Only a fool would invite someone like Gun into their life and not expect troubles. The pitch black eyes are already an obvious omen.
Except. Gun has second thoughts around you. Peaks of humanity showing through his cracks. Fun for Gun used to be fights and bloodshed. Letting his demons out fully. He can never be completely tamed but he realises there's joy, a bone-deep peace, in other things too.
Namely, your company.
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James plays his cards to his chest. As James Lee, as Diego Kang, as whoever he may be in the future.
Hides his intention and true character with a detached, arrogant smile. Buries into himself further with his shiny k-pop persona, not letting anyone see his authentic self.
Your touch first cracked his well polished veneer. Your words and keen eyes, astute and observant, blew the gap wide open.
He realises there's no more hiding with you.
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Samuel doesn't lack motivation or discipline with most areas of his life. When it comes to his mental health though, it's sorely lacking. Though, delusional and lacking introspection, he never realised it was a problem until you.
He notices your smile dimming during the beginning of his spirals. Feels your absences as he plummets to rock bottom. Craves you with every part of his being as he soars into mania.
Your worried looks and trembling bottom lip gives him the final push he needs to want to improve.
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Being Gapryong's son is a part of who Jake is, irrefutable and undeniable. As much as he likes to convince himself he is nothing like his dad, he has fortunately taken all his best traits and foregone the worst.
However. It takes someone like you to come along, that loves all the parts of him-
(Son of the legend of the Pre-generation, the Boss of Big Deal... And the quietest part, the part of him dimmed and muted through the challenges of life, simply Jake Kim, where he can be as he wants to be.)
-For him to finally accept all parts of himself too.
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When Ryuhei crushes, falls, obsesses, he finds it hard to fit the whole image of someone in his head.
All their imperfections and flaws and faults are non-existent in his mind. Which sounds harmless and sweet at first thought, but he could never truly connect with anyone if he is only able to see his own perception of them.
But then you showed him all sides of you, forced him to acknowledge the good with the bad, experience the troughs with the peaks.
Until, over time, he fully sees every facet of you.
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Being with Goo is like trying to domesticate a wild animal.
He has glimpses of docility assuming he is well fed and well entertained, though he is still likely to bite the hand that feeds at any moment. Of course, only someone used to getting his way would continue being this... deranged.
You take no prisoners. Uncompromising in the way you should be treated, respected, until Goo has no choice but to also fall in line if he wants to keep you by his side.
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Vin keeps himself barbed and prickly. Masks his true feelings, his own insecurities, with jokes and insults. Has made more people cry than he can remember and ignores any guilt with a shrug of his shoulders.
He's not a sociopath. It's just that he's been this way for so long he doesn't know how to be anything else.
You cut through the bullshit, give him no judgement for who he is, how he looks, but how he acts.
His jokes are still rude. Insults still mean. But there's no longer any cruelty.
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awoogayanderes · 2 years ago
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BSD MEN WITH THEIR TOXIC TRAITS
➪ characters : osamu dazai, chuuya nakahara, ryūnosuke akutagawa, fyodor dostoevsky, sigma, saigiku jouno
➪ other notes : i love writing silly angst with silly characters from my favorite silly anime / manga <3 non-edited
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osamu dazai :
running away at any conflict with you
- whilst dazai has a lot of toxic traits and red flags, this issue is the biggest one by far
- running away is all dazai has left when it comes to arguing with you
- you’re someone he can’t lose, so instead he pushes everything under the rug, expecting it to go away
- you don’t dare mention his habit, but this fighting and forgetting habit has your hands tied together, not knowing what to do
- one minute you’re at each other’s throats, the next minute he’s gone, with uncomfortable silence choking you
- when you wake up, he’s hugging you tightly in the middle of his sleep as if your previous night’s encounter never existed
- he brings small bouquets of flowers to you when he comes back, wilting away once you get up and put them in a vase
- it’s almost a routine at this point, you fight, he leaves, you go to sleep angry, he comes back with flowers and lies next to you
- a relationship is staying with each other when things get difficult at times, but what happens when they leave you and come back into your arms with no other words said ?
chuuya nakahara :
over possessiveness and accusing of cheating
- this all roots from his previous betrayals where he thinks he’s found a family, only for it to be gone in a split second
- he’s a darling partner except that he can’t seem to trust you as much as he tries to
- ‘it’s just for precaution’ he says when he sends his men to be with you when you go out, it makes you feel weird having someone by you at all times
- if he ever gets the feeling that you’re being too friendly with a random waiter it always ends up with him accusing you of cheating on him
- you beg him to believe you when you say that you aren’t like the people he had in his life before, that you wouldn’t leave him
- he wants to trust you but when someone gets too close to you, it’s almost like a primal instinct to get you away from them
- he spoils you to no end but nothing materialistic compares to being alone without someone breathing down your neck
- it’s overwhelming not having time to yourself, always being surrounded by someone because they’re afraid to lose you
- you love him like a human so why does he love you like a trophy in fear of betrayal ?
ryūnosuke akutagawa :
lashing out at you for caring
- what else were you expecting when you started dating someone with so much trauma that he can only express with anger
- he doesn’t mean to lash out at you for no reason, he wants to make it work but instead of improving, his attitude continues to grow
- he doesn’t like you “nagging” at him to take better care of himself
- you know that there’s a big brick wall that stops you from reaching his heart but at what point is too much, too much
- when you nod at him after he screams at you, it almost angers him more because he thinks you aren’t listening even though you are, not wanting to argue back and cause more chaos
- there’s times where he makes up for his behavior, sometimes he picks a random flower from grass and gives it to you
- he doesn’t know why he gets so angry that you care for his wellbeing, isn’t that what couples normally do for each other
- it’s saddening seeing the own man you let into your life berate you for no reason
- it’s so hard to love someone who just seems to loathe you so much even with his small actions of caring
fyodor dostoyevsky :
seeing himself as your superior and seeing you as a pawn in his own game
- another man with a shitload of red flags and toxic traits, this one rising above them all
- he cares about you, he does ! but not in the way you’d like, he cares about you like how humans care about their pets
- sure he’d give you the world if he could, but he’d also give you up for his ideal world if it ever came down to that
- a relationship is a balance where each partner sees the other one as an equal, yeah not with fyodor it’s not
- you’ve proven your worth to him so many times for him to see you as the same as his level, instead it just makes you seem as a pawn under his control
- despite this, there are times where it almost seems that he cares about you like a person should, when you’re hanging onto his arm walking in a park humming quietly
- he indulges in your needs every so often, not before bringing you right back down to your place beneath him
- not even death would allow you to escape this cycle of rising and being kicked down
- why does he expect you to see him as the righteous hand of god when he sees you as a mere pawn ready to be sacrificed
sigma :
unintentionally guilt tripping you every time you get frustrated at him
- he’s been used so many times, his naivety is something he hates to the core, all he wants is someone to settle down with, a family
- he’s another sweetheart partner when you can push past the teary eyes and begging for you to not be mad at him and to not leave him
- his biggest fear is losing you, someone who doesn’t use him, he’d rather abandon his casino than end his relationship with you
- whilst he doesn’t realize, you notice his wording when he begs you to stay, often saying that he’s nothing without you, that he’d rather die than be without you
- maybe it’s heartwarming for the first few times but once it becomes a cycle you start to truly wonder if he’d actually go crazy without you or if it was all bluff
- even then, you can’t deny him when he guilts you into staying, he doesn’t know any better
- if you ever mention this to him, he’ll burst into tears, thinking you were breaking up with him, it takes hours trying to convince that you were here to stay
- it’s a repeating cycle he doesn’t notice and you can’t break for the sake of both of you
- love is a powerful thing, powerful enough to guilt you into staying with a man who loves you a bit too much
saigiku jouno :
putting his work above you at all costs
- he swore to protect those that need him, he’s not going to break that just for you
- you knew what you were getting into when you started dating the hunting dog, yet sadness can’t help but fill you when he misses important events with you
- after all you’ve been through with him, and not a single happy birthday text, not a single note for your anniversary, nothing
- he knows when you’re upset with him even if he can’t see your face, he can feel you rejecting his touch, and that’s when he reminds you of what he swore and what you agreed to
- it doesn’t help when he has his snarky attitude and almost mocking voice explaining to you why he can’t just walk out of a meeting
- despite this, he does love you, otherwise he wouldn’t waste his time on you, he loves that you still stick with him no matter what
- you really don’t ask for much, you understand his work and what he has to do, but he still thinks you make a big deal out of nothing
- as hypocritical as it sounds, he always expects you to be there for him even if he’s not
- you knew you were never going to be his first priority but it hurts so much more when he makes sure you know
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hwnglx · 26 days ago
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dating enhypen hyung line pro's & con's
based on tarot. i don't know these idols personally. energies are always changing. everything i state is for entertainment purposes only, alleged and NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!
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heeseung
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pro's
will make you the brightest star of his life -> i can just see his life circling around pleasing you
your existence will just matter to you a lot
he's an extremely perfectionistic guy so he'll rarely feel satisfied and therefore put consistent effort into making sure he's being the best boyfriend he can be for you
he literally wouldn't live up to his own expectations towards himself and disappoint himself if he found himself being unfaithful or doing you wrong
wants to make his partners feel secure when they're with him, like he's their comfort person and safe space
sees his lovers as someone he can learn from -> wants to grow, improve and transform into his best self through dating his partners, as well as also become a source of support and help for them himself
almost like bonding through their wounds, perhaps even sharing similar past experiences so they can offer a sense of mending and healing to each other
i really don't see much of an ego here, in fact he's almost too overly modest and humble
heeseung is the type of boyfriend will dim his own light if it means you will shine, honestly
i thought of a line from stray kids' song “i am you” where changbin says “i can become darkness if it means you will become brighter” (fun fact they're both virgo venus')
has a very calming and soothing type of energy and presence in his romantic relationships
i just keep seeing him sit there with his soft gaze strictly focused on his partner's eyes all the time, gently stroking their hand and quietly humming “mhm”s while attentively listening to them talk and take in every word
very interested and curious in getting to know his partners in a detailed and thorough manner
will probably remember most things about you too, even the more trivial and simple things like.. the perfume you wore on the day you met, just things you probably wouldn't expect for him to remember
con's
his perfectionism, unrealistic standards and amplified romanticism can easily set himself up for disappointment, not only towards himself but also in regards to his lovers and his relationships
he tends to have this idealized view of love and approach his romantic connections with such high expectations that things not living up to that (which often is inevitable since relationships can't be perfect all the time) can quickly dishearten him
i also see him being contradictory in a way where he does want to grow and learn through the connection but at the same time, he can struggle with criticism and negativity
might not want to hear out your advice at times because to heeseung, it can feel like you rubbing his mistakes into his face, which he doesn't enjoy and can get afraid of
he's just really worried about messing things up
can get obsessive and overly invested in the relationship
i just see him being this lover who can suffocate his partners to a degree because he's so eager to make sure they're content and please them all the time
he reminds me of this guy i dated who had similar placements and he kept being so immensely alert and attentive to all my needs that it just felt.. overly smothering at some point (i know some people might like this though, depends on your character)
no lie, heeseung's and jungkook's energies are strikingly similar in a few ways. the idealization of romance, overthinking, immensely high standards causing quicker disappointment, issues with handling criticism due to their perfectionistic tendencies. they could relate on some levels.
heeseung seems like a good guy; i truly see his energy as one of the best in enhypen. though this could be subjective. his intentions read as pure, and coming from a selfless place.
jay
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pro's
has this pleasant energy to him where being with jay feels very comfortable, cozy, warm and relaxing
a boyfriend who loves spending the more quiet and intimate times together with his partner
will love displaying this source of calm and rest for them
i see him really enjoying to cuddle under the sheets, in front of the fireplace, with lit candles, wine, soothing music, softly holding you in his arm
a very sensual and indulgent lover too, he just loves making his partners feel good in every sense of the word and wants to heighten their enjoyment
physical touch & quality time are his likely love languages
quite good at figuring out your personal boundaries and remaining respectful and mindful of not crossing them
he's the type to hold himself back in the beginning stages and stay polite but once he's got a good understanding of how deep he can push your buttons, he'll love to initiate some playful debates and arguments
dating jay can feel like you're dating your best friend
he brings a lot of happiness and laughter into the lives of his significant others
a lot of playful bickering and fun times
i just saw this scene of him strolling through the furniture store with his lover and them fighting over which colour plates they should buy for their new house lmao
another insight i constantly get for him without fail; this man genuinely loves the idea of marriage
though i don't see him being ready for it at all at this point in time, jay does enjoy the thought of a more traditional relationship and domestic life
extremely protective over his lover and their relationship
will always defend you and your name fiercely
or e.g. protectively get you to walk on the other side of him, if there's a busy road next to you
quite territorial too, jay wants his lovers to himself and is ready to fight and glare off anyone trying to access them
just heard “nothing's gonna hurt you baby, as long as you'll be with me, you'll be just fine” (song by cas)
con's
mainly focused on himself; including his own dreams, desires and wishes, especially in terms of his career, his work and his money -> i don't see him having much room for anyone else right now
might feel like letting another person into his life in a more serious and committed manner could cause an unwanted interference rather than an enrichment
i truly don't see him enjoying the thought of compromosing or being restricted by anyone right now
tbh, the energy is pretty selfish, and more surface-level here.. i currently don't see jay getting into relationships for true love, but moreso for what they can do for him
and also for what the relationship looks like; on the outside, as well as on paper
very practically minded in that sense, i am not getting an actual emotional attachment to his partners for him
definitely has his workaholic tendencies; might put himself and his career above the relationship with his significant others if he doesn't see the two aligning well
i also see jay easily getting caught up in materialism and putting too much value on superficial things like money, possessions, status, etc.
he can get a little stingy if he feels unappreciated, or the connection is too onesided (like he's constantly the one buying the gifts, preparing everything and his partner doesn't bother to do their part)
immensely stubborn and “my way or the highway”
can be quite rigid and inflexible, as well as reluctant to give in, or adapt and adjust himself to anyone
tbh, the energy was interestingly different compared to what i got from him before. though obviously, people and their preferences, habits, etc. change all the time through various experiences. which is the case especially for enhypen, since they're so young and still in the midst of maturing and developing. this non-committal “i'll do whatever i want” energy strikes me as more of a stage or phase for jay as of right now. might change within a few months, who knows.
jake
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pro's
immensely flirty, romantic and charming boyfriend
naturally brings a lot of butterflies and excitement into the lives of his partners in that way
i just see him being a hugely smooth talker, making his partners blush by flattering them all the time
almost in this love-bombing way, where some people might (playfully) tell him to shut up at some point while blushing embarrassedly and he'd love that sight
comes alive in romance; loves everything it entails
being in a harmonious relationship is something he desires a lot, so there's this grateful and proud feeling of “you're literally making my dreams come true”
would maybe even tell you you're his dream
emphasis on him being immensely sweet and loving with his words, there's definitely a poetic side to him too
will not only find his home in you, but become your home (offer you a sense of warmth, familiarity and belonging)
very calming and soothing listener
everytime i read for him, spirit tells me there's something about his voice and the way he looks at you, that just has the potential to calm you down immensely
jake is someone who can go through a lot of inner turmoil himself, so he can often find himself wanting to comfort the people he's close to, especially his lovers
a lover who's very.. “don't keep it all in, talk to me, i will listen, and i will try my best to help”
he just genuinely wants to make you feel cared about
also very witty and funny though, i see him provoking and poking his lovers a lot just to get a reaction out of them
a lot of sarcasm mixed into his teasing and humor in a way that just riles you up; jake will love seeing you annoyed and find it very amusing
i do see him trying to make it up to his partners too though, like giving them a kiss and apologizing (he's a very playful push and pull type of boyfriend)
con's
likely to not be very reliable, he can often be more talk than action, and not always stick to what he preaches
can be very moody, unpredictable and overly sensitive
does want a relationship that goes deeper (i can sense jake literally craving it since he can feel empty very often) but can opt to run away as soon as he feels like it does, especially because the intimacy can scare him off
vulnerability can make him uncomfortable -> to jake, it can feel like someone has insight into his true soul and sees him for everything that he is, including the flaws and blemishes he himself deems as unlovable
easily sees his wounds, pain and insecurities as something people would judge him for, which is why he rarely allows people in that closely
just.. really desires validation, a stroke of his ego and admiration and can quickly be under the impression that his more “raw” self isn't worthy of that
i heard the lana del rey song “will you still love me, when i'm no longer young and beautiful? will you still love me, when i got nothing but my aching soul?” (again.. wow, i remember getting it for my ideal type reading too)
i see jake's insecurities and unstable self-esteem making him a person who feels offended and hurt more quickly, which can lead to him becoming sharp, offensive and cutting with his words as a defence mechanism
i heard “hurt people hurt people”
can easily feel mistrustful which can lead to forceful and controlling behavior -> can experience issues allowing you your freedom out of fear of you moving on
jake kept giving me this feeling of “i want to find a person who can make me feel like i'm at home” i just kept hearing the word “home” continuously.
random note, i also thought of australia and his mother a lot, she comes up in almost every reading for him
for the pro's, the knight of cups fell out together with the four of wands, and the way it fell gave me the image of jake (knight of cups -> scorpio sun) seeking for this feeling of belonging and arriving home (four of wands) like he finally found the person who gives him the warmth he's searching for.
two of the following cards were the star and the nine of cups which gave me.. “thank you for making my hopes and wishes become reality, thank you for staying with me.” the reading was quite moving, tbh. i didn't expect that.
apparently, he is a scorpio stellium with an aries moon in the eight house, so.. phew. yeah. makes sense. jake is a bunch of intensity and emotions wrapped into one human, literally. he feels and senses everything three times as deeply as others.
his sun does fall into his fourth house too though, which explains how closely he ties himself to his family, and the meaning of home. he really craves a safe space.
sunghoon
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pro's
trustworthy, committed and loyal boyfriend (probably number one in enhypen right now) -> he just won't find much interest in other people once he's with his lover
sunghoon is picky anyway, so once he's with someone, he firmly stands behind his decision and won't be the type to just allow his impulses to ruin anything
an insight i get again and again; he likes the idea of a connection that blossoms slowly but substantially
isn't the type to rush or jump from lover to lover but moreso approaches his relationships in a mindful manner
will spend a good amount of time getting to know you thoroughly, i see him studying people quite carefully
if he decides to date you, it's because he sees you as the person for him -> not the type to put on a show or play deceitful games with his partners, he's a serious lover
puts genuine effort into making sure the relationship is based on a stable foundation of trust (very important factor for him!) and mutual feelings
meaning, he'll make sure you know you can trust him but also find ways to truly figure out whether he can trust you
the type of boyfriend who wants to grow together with his partner, go through various different cycles together and continuously deepen the connection as time goes on
i do see sunghoon believing in fate and destiny, he can be quite intuitive in that sense
i heard “tell me all your secrets” and “tell me something you've never told anyone else”
sunghoon will want to be the one special person who's allowed to know you in and out, better than anyone else
wants to enjoy this subconscious, profound and unique connection with you in that way, like no one understands you the way he does and vice versa
i especially see him wanting to be the one to know about e.g. your struggles, you might not tell everyone about
like he's your person, the one you'd trust with your life
keeps the relationship very private
i just see being in a relationship with sunghoon as this experience where, being with him can feel like you're the only two people on the world; it's very intimate
he will quite literally be tunnel-visioned on you whenever you're together and naturally make you focus on him too
though i do see him enjoying experiencing different things together with his lover, this silent but powerful connection and communication is likely to still be present, even when you're amongst a crowd
like this.. one moment of eye contact between the two of you, can already tell the other person what they're thinking and feeling, type of dynamic
con's
can have the habit of naturally holding himself back a lot and therefore store a lot of his worries inside
this man can overthink and overanalyze much more than you'd think, but many of his partners might not even figure that out since he's very good at disguising it
i keep feeling so chilly inside while reading for sunghoon, it's almost like.. once he gets to this place of overwhelming and inner stress, he often turns cold
tends to rationalize his more “negative” emotions since they can get confusing and too much for him otherwise
but he also doesn't enjoy confronting his lovers with them at all, out of fear of causing disharmony, or laying himself bare in this vulnerable or “weak” state
genuinely doesn't want to burden people, especially his significant others, with his own inner conflicts but can also have issues processing and finding healthy outlets
so he's likely to, either distract himself by focusing on his own desires and endeavors away from his significant others (like his career and work), or generally withdraw and isolate himself from them in order to somehow cope
i also see him potentially struggling to empathize and understand other people's standpoints at times
sunghoon does tend to look back at himself and reflect on his own behavior a lot, so he can get caught up in this feeling of “no but i did everything right, everything is fine, i don't understand why you'd be this way”
it's this frustration of sincerely wanting to understand you, but just not always being able to, which can result in him turning distant, stiff and detached emotionally
i also see some potential judgemental and overly picky tendencies in terms of superficial things, like appearance
maknae line coming very soon! stay tuned <3
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katyspersonal · 6 months ago
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The best Bloodborne Wiki is a passion project of a single person, is about to get even better + how it can be sustained for years to come!
Hello guys! So like many of you've learned from the post with super good model view of Winter Lantern, recently, on Twitter, Meph announced ( x ) the plan to fill the wiki with very useful, very comprehensive screenshots of the models for bosses, enemies, NPCs and even cut content! The wiki has already been a huge help for lorediggers and artists, but THIS is what we will get:
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This page is for Lady Maria and you can check it yourself here: ( x )! It is broken down in the categories of general close-ups of her model, then very high-quality screenshots of every attack during her boss battle and walking, and then raw model!
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(I never was able to capture a good look at her using Arcane too like here, for example!)
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Winter Lantern page ( x ) is using similar principle!
This is not a secret that very often in Fromsoft games, additional information can be obtained not through descriptions but through visual hints! For example, some people only learned that Winter Lantern's head is made of melted Messengers only now, after a proper look at her model! So, of course getting a proper look at every single character and creature from the game could always be helpful!
This, however, is just a recent highlight for this Bloodborne Wiki! Even prior that, it has been providing invaluable help for the fans! Examples off the top of my head: comprehensive data on what character has what items used or not, great and comprehensive hints and tutorials on upgrades and farming and builds for the players, making every bit of information on Chalice Dungeons and glyphs easily accessible, making datamined NPC sliders of all characters way more accessible and easy to grab and repeat, access to much more obscure models (like Gratia's model), full list of internal filenames and patches progress, making information from physical Bloodborne tutorial book accessible...
There are probably more things to cover that me and others found a great help in, and sometimes we might not even notice! I am sure many people could name at least one way where this wiki has been very helpful, offering raw facts and 100% valid information (and properly sourced whenever someone else helped!) without any speculating, in the most elaborate manner! We should not take it for granted because all this information, found or reshared, was compiled by just one guy out of raw passion for the game! And although this project is not profit-based and Meph is willing to commit to it and pay as much as needed to keep it living, I really still wanted to share the Ko-fi link that exists for anyone who is willing to help sponsoring it!
This is not necessary, and Meph has stated the same, but this project is not only helpful but also really hefty to sustain. The monthly support is only $3 per month, but every little bit not only helps the sustenance, but also knowing how much fans care and simply feeling their support is very significant and sometimes you don't even know how much. Heck, when Meph learned how excited people on Tumblr were about Wiki improving with full compilation of models from every angle.. the reaction was "I am so glad that people still care"! I think everyone who does their best to be useful for the fellow fans needs confirmation that they ARE, for sure, helping!
I just really wanted to get the word out anyways because honestly, none of my super elaborate theories and detailed fanart would've been possible without Meph's Wiki. and also because I am trapped in a clown country where I can't send any international money transfer so the feeling of 'do what I can't' got to me too fsdhfdhs There is no pressure or necessity, but here is the link to anyone who can help and feels the wish to! You've noticed I didn't tag Meph.... since there is no Tumblr account to tag, but again, the Twitter link is also here: ( x )!
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ddollfface · 5 months ago
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Hello, first of all I really appreciate your blog. I love to read your story's, they are incredible C:
Secondly, I wanted to take a request for a yandere baki? Like, he falls for a classmate who is really shy and insecure but she secretly trains to become more confident and stronger? Maybe Baki wants to help her (or not depends on how you think yandere baki would be) and also protect her?
Sorry if my request is a little bit confusing ^^" If it's too random for you, you can just write general yandere baki headcanons :") I hope you have a nice day and thank you in advance :D<3
𝐀 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝
𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚!𝘽𝙖𝙠𝙞 𝙭 𝙁𝙚𝙢!𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
Trigger Warnings; Bad writing, she/her pronouns, possessive thoughts, not really yandere, reader is depicted as really socially awkward and clumsy, uhhh Kozue doesn't exist in this universe ig (I'm sorry bbg) It's no problem, nonny! I love it when ya'll give me random scenarios lol. Though I write really slowly, so sorry that it's been so long... Enjoy and give me any feedback! I'm still trying to tweak Baki's character profile!
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“C’mon, do one more. You got this,” 
You panted, stretching your muscles to the extent you could, bringing your chin above the bar, trying to focus on the searing stretch in your muscles, and using it to motivate you as you lifted yourself up once more. Your thighs were clenched, trying to fight gravity, and get twenty pull-ups, surprising yourself when your head gets above the bar. 
Seventeen… that’s Baki’s age, you think with a small smile gracing your face as you go for another one, only to whine, wincing as your arms refuse to move. Just as you’re about to drop, you feel your classmate, who you’re too nervous to call a friend, hands grab your waist, helping you down from the pull-up bar. His hands cupped your waist, practically carrying your weight in his hands, catching you off-guard.
“I-thank you, Baki,” You mumbled, glancing over your shoulder as he set you on the ground, and smiling. A warm feeling fluttered in your chest, feeling accomplished at how many pull-ups you did. Only just a month ago, you couldn’t even hang from the bar without getting sore, but with Baki’s help, you’ve improved so much! It makes you giddy as you think of your progress, of how far you’ve come, and how much stronger you’ll be in the future. It gives you a surge of confidence whenever you find yourself exerting some of your newfound strength, beginning to love yourself a little more. 
“No problemo,” Baki shrugs, trying to remain lax, ignoring the throbbing of his heart. He got to touch you, place his hands on your waist, and carry your weight. God, you’re so pretty, even when you’re all sweaty. He felt like a lovesick schoolboy (he is). Your presence feels like a punch to the gut, giving him a newfound energy, the same feeling he chases when he fights. His heart pumping blood throughout his body, forcing it through his veins as his brain races with thoughts, thoughts, and more thoughts. He can almost feel his hands shake, practically begging his conscience for a chance to grab, hold, and smother you with affection, to pepper kisses all over your face, and praise your body in a way you deserve. 
He can’t even describe the surge of joy he got when you asked him for help, looking at him… well you didn’t look at him, preferring the ground’s gaze whenever you talk to him, but that didn’t matter too much. Your words were far more important. The moment your soft voice shyly asked for him to train you, to help you out because you wanted to be better, to be more confident. 
And while Baki loved you for who you were and the way you were he understood. He understood wanting to be better, to strive for more and more until your nails have gone raw and bloody, unable to claw away. He understands the feeling of not being where you want to be, of not being stronger, or accomplishing more. 
Though you both have different reasons for training, he understands the core values of it. You’re training to help build confidence and find value in yourself, while Baki does it because it’s a staple in his life, the only consistent pillar throughout his short years. But you both share the determination and though you likely will never be as strong as him, which is completely okay and likely how he’d prefer it, he admires how you had the confidence to approach him, asking him for help with something so personal.
Of course, he said yes. What kind of man would he be if he denied you help? Especially when you asked so sweetly? He still remembers how his cheeks grew warm and how he could hear his heart thud against his ribs at the idea of watching you work out. And though, Baki will never admit to it… you’re just so pretty, the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. You’re so soft, so kind, and just so cute. There’s no way he can’t gawk, respectfully, whenever he sees you squat, or how you smile whenever you complete a set, looking at him with amazement. Sometimes you’ll even hug him! And, honestly, he could die a happy man!
He tries his hardest, never wanting to make you uncomfortable, keeping your best interests in mind, and that’s why he absolutely refuses to let you work out in public. Nope, nope, nope, that’s not going to happen. Sure, you two can go on a run together, but he makes sure to give you one of his athletic zip-ups, not wanting guys to gawk at you, knowing that they will. 
It doesn’t matter that you’re only sixteen, he knows how men think, how they reduce you to your body. You’re so much more than that, and that’s why his blood boiled when he saw a guy let his eyes trail across your body as you did some push-ups. Yeah, no, you’re never going to a public gym again, that was the first and last time he’d ever let you do that. 
And if you were to ask, he’ll just say that you can’t even imagine the amount of sweat and bacteria on those machines. Can’t you imagine how many sweaty, grubby hands have touched those dumbbells? Or how many people have sat on that bench? Yeah, you can’t give him a number, and after that, you refused to touch your face without washing your hands and wiping away any grime from your face with a wet wipe, even upping your skincare a little.
Don’t get it wrong, you’re not a germaphobe or anything, but you had to agree with Baki, though you weren’t going to challenge him either way. You had noticed the gleam in his eyes as he pulled you up and off the floor, stopping you in the middle of your rep. Of course, you pouted a little, seeing as you were about to do ten push-ups! But you didn’t say anything, not wanting to stir any trouble, so you just kept your head down as Baki said you guys were going to end early. 
You didn’t want to, but you trusted Baki, and you weren’t going to say no when he looked so sure of himself. You hadn’t noticed the way his eyes seemingly darkened when he walked behind you, noticing how your leggings hugged you too tightly, nor did you seem to care when he handed you a jacket, saying you looked a little cold. If anything, you thought it was extremely sweet, and it made your cheeks grow warm, and your stomach does flips. 
“Well, it’s getting pretty late; you want me to take you home?” Baki’s voice draws you out of your little trip down memory lane, causing you to look up from your hands, which you were probably staring at for an embarrassing amount of time. With a small smile, you nod your head, turning to face Baki, and wiping some sweat from your brow. 
“Um, sure! That sounds like a plan-” You cut yourself off with an awkward chuckle, internally cursing yourself for being such a dork. I mean, what could Baki, probably the strongest man in the world, be thinking of you? He probably thinks you're super duper weird and that you sweat too much, oh God. What if you smell! 
Slowly losing yourself in your thoughts, Baki quirked a brow, noticing that you seemingly were spacing out, so, like any normal person who definitely hasn’t been daydreaming about his moment since he first met you, he placed his hand on your shoulder and tilts his head, “*Hey, are you good? You’re not lightheaded or anything, right? That wouldn’t be too good, yeah?*”
Baki had a small, reassuring smile on his lips, and the small mole on his upper lip stretched slightly, catching your attention. Feeling your cheeks heat up, your brain went into override, becoming overwhelmed with how close Baki was. You could see all the pores in his skin, and you could feel him too. His palm was oddly warm, maybe a little sweaty, but that was probably just you… ew. His hand cupped your shoulder, thumb drumming against your colder skin softly as he awaited your response, but you just looked at him with parted lips, eyes wide, and mind blank. 
You definitely looked like an idiot, you were sure of it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, feeling a little awestruck. Let’s just say that conversations have really never been your thing, especially when they’re cute guys without a shirt. Trying your best, you succeeded in keeping your eyes locked on his face, not letting them linger and drift down to his neck, where his SCM muscle flowed down to his clavicle and mended with the infrahyoid muscle group, only for his trapezius muscle to lay over his shoulder blade and peak from his back. His pectoralis majors were bulging against his sternum, making him seem more like a bodybuilder than a normal, teenage boy, not even to mention his serratus anterior, which was clearly defined and wrapped around his sides-
“Geez, man, you’re such a creep, staring at my muscles,” Baki chuckled, hiding how giddy he felt with your eyes on him, him, him.  His hand moved from your shoulder to your head, ruffling your hair with a cheeky grin as he tilted his head teasingly, “Is that a little drool I see there?” The hand on your head moved to cup your cheek, rubbing his thumb over your lower lip, as if there were really drool (there wasn’t, he just wanted to make you flustered). His calloused fingers teased your cheek, almost covering your whole face, and you thought you might just die. 
“Pphha-Oh, my God! I’m so, so sorry, Baki! That was so weird-” You fumbled over yourself, practically jumping away from his hand with a warm face. Your lips were trembling slightly, your nerves dripping through your veins as you cracked your knuckles, unsure of what to do with yourself as you felt your blood turn into molten lava. Standing with your arms straight and hands by your side, you quickly maneuvered to get your stuff, quickly remembering what the conversation was. Slinging your duffle bag over your shoulder, your legs were unstable as you steadied yourself and glanced around Baki’s home, not wanting to come anywhere near his gaze. 
“Well, anyways-I, um… I think I should go, um, home.” I spoke unceremoniously, ending your words with an out-of-place cough, only fueling Baki’s amusement as he looked you up and down. You were just so cute. He could just eat you up. His syrupy brown eyes swirled with amusement, taking in your nervous form. He really is obsessed, isn’t he?
He can’t get enough of your flustered smile, the way your lips quirk and tremble as you let meaningless words slip from your lips. Your eyes always got so scattered, flickering across whatever room, just to avoid his gaze. Although he’d love for you to get more comfortable, to just relax around him, he does enjoy these moments where you slur your speech and wave your hands around; it’s comforting in a sense. Deciding not to push any further, knowing your heart would probably thump out of your chest, he shrugs his shoulders and gives your bicep a small tap, “Sure thing, I’ll let you off this time.”
His voice was soft and playful as to coax you out of being so nervous. You just smile stiffly, feeling your heart thump, thump, thump, going crazy in your ribcage as you try to cool your tense figure, to slow the blood flooding in your ears. Giving him a nervous, wonky smile, you shrug your bag further up your shoulders, needing to do anything to distract you from the situation at hand. Baki was just so cool, and everything about him was amazing, but you were just… you. For God’s sake! Baki is probably the strongest man in the world, for all you know! And he’s training you of all people? He must be an angel or something… 
That’s what you think. You don’t know the gleam that flickers through his eyes whenever you turn away, the pure, utterless obsession that flows through his veins. Though Baki wouldn’t consider himself to be a jealous man, by any means, he can’t help but worry about you. You also don’t know the amount of men he’s dealt with through the school year; the amount of people he’s had to… steer away from you, just to keep you safe. But that’s good. You don’t need to know, ever. 
And you still don’t know as you walk side-by-side through the residential neighborhood, Baki holding your bag, of course. He always insists that he helps you out, seeing as you must be oh so tired from your workout, so just let him help you out, yeah?
To you, it was a smooth night, although a little awkward and embarrassing, it was nice. There was a soft breeze, so it was pleasing on the back of your neck, and you could feel your hair tussle and flow. Humming under your breath, you glance around the neighborhood you know like the back of your hand, and observe the different houses. Many were more 1970s-stylized architecture, but it was pretty nonetheless. They all had dark, wooden frames and sloped roofs, guarded by flimsy, wooden fences. With your eyes locked onto your surroundings, you lost track of how long you’d been walking until Baki suddenly stopped, nudging you for your attention. 
“Oh, thanks for walking me home, Baki…” You chuckle, catching yourself before you could make you look like more of an airhead. Scratching your cheek, you turned your back, standing in front of the gate that led to your small home, where your parents were probably snooping out the window to see what cute boy had brought you home…
“Nah, we’re chillin’. I just want to make sure you’re safe, you know how it is.” He shrugged, giving you a small, endearing smile before shoving his hands into his jean pockets, glancing at the ground before looking back at you. Giggling sheepishly, you messed with the hem of your shirt, before clearing your throat and straightening your posture. The air was oddly relaxing, though still a little stiff.
“Yeah, but you really didn’t need to, especially since you’re carrying my bag, too!” You sighed dramatically, pursing your lips slightly as you tried to make the mood a little lighter, more for yourself than Baki. He chuckled, rolling his eyes a little with some sass, handing you your bag as you motioned for it. 
“Geez, what d’ya think of me? I’d be a pretty shitty friend if I let you walk out here by yourself.” Baki flicked your forehead with a quirked brow, continuing, “But really don’t mention it. You’re like my best friend, practically my responsibility.” He added with a nonchalant grin. 
Nodding your head with a smile, trying to ignore the growing warmth on the back of your neck. God, talking to Baki was so easy, even if you fumbled your words an embarrassing amount of times, and you couldn’t help but feel your brain speed up, racing a million miles per hour. Subconsciously, your eyes kept lingering, down, down, down toward his lips, watching them move as he spoke. No matter how much you tried to ignore it, there was a tug on your heart, feeling a pull toward Baki, and he felt it, too. 
Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. Oh, c’mon! Just do it! You hyped yourself up, adjusting your duffle bag on your shoulder as I leaned your weight onto one foot to another, slightly nudging yourself closer to Baki. Your heart was pounding, ringing in your ears as you kept your eyes nervously locked on his face. Baki had continued talking, rambling off about some fight he had recently. Of course, you loved hearing Baki talk, but you couldn’t think straight, hyper-fixating on this inner turmoil that took over your thoughts. Though Baki had noticed your fidgeting and shift in behavior, he brushed it off as you just being antsy to go to sleep. Wait; why are you so close?
And just like that your lips brushed against his cheek, only there for half a second that Baki thought that he had imagined it. A slip of electricity had shot through both of you, a lingering warmth on his cheek as Baki stared at you with wide eyes. You just kissed him! Baki’s brain went into overload, standing there with his lips parted like a fish. Of course, your face had blossomed with an overwhelming amount of warmth, so hot that even Baki could feel it radiate off of you. Without a second thought, you rushed into your home, though not without running into the half-opened gate and tripping up the steps. 
Baki hadn’t even noticed your clumsy movements, far too focused on the warmth that swelled under his skin, a feeling he wasn’t used to. The tips of his fingers were pulsing, feeling static as he urged himself to do something, but his mind was caught up on what he felt. Everything was upside down, his world spinning, and the rhythm of his heart kept him in a jumble. It felt like his brain was empty but swirling with more thoughts than it should. Your lips felt oh so soft, and he couldn’t forget; he didn’t want to forget. 
“You’re just too much.” He mumbled under his breath, a newfound determination blossomed in his heart, and a lovesick gleam in his brown eyes. You just confirmed everything he’s ever wanted and dreamed of; you were his. You want to be his. That just means that you don’t need them either, all you need is him, and he’s sure you wouldn’t mind just staying at his place, right? You’re practically dating now, and it’s only right that you live together; that’s what couples do, right? 
As he walked away, steps a little off-center, a plan formed in his head, obsessive delusions fueling it. With just one, small kiss, you had decided your fate. No longer could you get off as just being his “best friend”, no. You were his lover now, his future wife. Though you didn’t seem to fully grasp that, Baki’s glad to give a helping hand.
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tevanbegins · 4 months ago
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The only people thinking that Bucktommy's storyline is ruining the show are the B*ddie fanatics and the homophobic fans who are disappointed that Buck came out as queer. However, the rest of the viewers don't think that way at all. Even if you put aside the BT fandom, the general audiences still enjoy the show. The improved viewership ratings reflect that.
BoBs don't want Buck to end up with the first ever man he has dated (this only bc said man isn't Eddie); they believe he needs to 'explore' his bisexuality more. The GA, on the other hand, is happy to see that Buck is finally settling into a stable, healthy relationship with a caring partner who respects him and reciprocates his feelings equally. Apart from many queer fans who are celebrating this crucial LGBTQ+ representation, most of the GA probably doesn't even care that Buck is with a man and the queerness of it all. They just like seeing a beloved character finally finding true love, after seasons of stumbling through a series of failed relationships.
Buck and Tommy's love story not only sustained the existing viewership, but boosted it further by drawing in plenty more new viewers to the show. This is apparent through the impressive ratings, and the fact that the show's renewal for season 8 was confirmed not long after 'Buck, Bothered and Bewildered' aired.
Another thing that BoBs don't realise is that the GA also comprises casual watchers and people who might not care about Buck or Eddie at all. The show has an Oscar & Emmy-winning actress among its main cast - Angela Bassett. It also has another beloved veteran actor like Peter Krause. There are people who are watching this show for them. There are people who may be far more invested in Bobby-Athena, Maddie-Chimney, or the Hen-Karen storylines than whatever the hell's going on with Buck or Eddie. Or there may be audiences who appreciate the platonic friendship between Buck-Eddie the same way they like Hen-Chimney or Hen-Athena with zero expectation of it turning romantic.
The only reason why it seems that B*ddie is the most popular thing about 9-1-1 is that their fandom is a loud and hyperactive majority across social media. Other fandom stans and GA/casual viewers may not be as dominant on socials, but they exist in a lot higher numbers than BoBs can ever imagine. BoBs overestimate their clout.
Bucktommies obviously love Tommy Kinard with their whole hearts, adore how good he is with Buck, and so would love for them to be endgame. But BoBs don't realise that even the audiences that are not hugely invested in Tevan as us BTs, are not losing sleep over the fact that Buck is with Tommy and not Eddie. They watch the show for other characters and storylines and all the drama and action. Buck's love life doesn't hamper their enjoyment of the show; they may be neutral to it. Even if not all of them maybe loving Tommy, doesn't mean they hate him either.
Again, the reason why Buck or Eddie's past relationships with their female LIs weren't popular even among the GA the way Madney, Henren, or Bathena are, is not because they wanted Buck and Eddie to end up together. I believe it's because those romantic storylines were half-baked or poorly-written, not making the casual viewer care enough. If Buck ever had a female LI with as much potential as Tommy, or if Eddie could treat a partner decently, those hypothetical ships could become popular too. People enjoy Bucktommy because of how beautiful their love story is overall, not simply because it's a 'queer' love story. Their storyline has the potential to be long-term, and Tommy being well-integrated with the rest of the characters solidifies the possibility of him and Buck going a long way.
What excuse would the BoBs who want Buck to experiment have had if Buck hadn't come out last season and Tommy were a woman? What if that storyline would still show a positive romantic development for Buck where the new female LI put in an equal amount of effort into the relationship, like Tommy has? Yes, a lot of the initial hype around Bucktommy was because it's a queer love story, but even if you replaced Tommy with a female character and made her care about Buck the same way that Tommy does, or have Buck be as smitten with her as he is with Tommy, many audiences would still dig that.
The same-sex aspect of it is just icing on the cake; the cake would still have been delicious if baked well (but the icing is significant for queer fans who crave good representation on TV.) But integrating Buck's bisexuality arc into a thriving relationship with a pre-established character is a welcome development for queer fans and GA alike. The viewership stats prove that Bucktommy is definitely not damaging the show, but contributing to making it more successful if anything.
So the BoBs need to know that all their constant whining, cyberbullying and Tommy/LFJR slander is not going to scare ABC or the showrunner & writing staff into giving them what they want. B*ddie fanatics are too tiny a portion of this gigantic equation (that exists far beyond the confines of social media), and losing them is not going to affect the network or the people making the show.
Even in the unfortunate scenario that Bucktommy doesn't last, most of the GA/casual viewers will still not stop watching the show. We BTs will be heartbroken and cry for a few weeks and then move on, because the show's writers can do what they want and owe us nothing. But we're not going to spend years bullying and threatening them for not making our ship endgame. That's the power of GA and the show will continue for as long as it has the ratings and network support to back it up, regardless of who Buck ends up with.
And for now, the GA is enjoying Buck with Tommy, so luckily things aren't looking too shabby for the BT fandom and the storyline should stay its course unless the writers decide otherwise, which they don't really have a reason to given the largely positive response reflected through the ratings. Even though we can't predict what happens in the future, we'll cherish every small or big Bucktommy win that comes our way until then! BoBs can keep screaming into the void as usual, but things wouldn't change because they think they can make it happen. That's all.
___
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pukefactory · 10 days ago
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Hello! Haha it's my first time in this blog and I love it so far! I love your hcs! I'm sorry if this is too specific of a request but Would you do one of Sprout X GN reader.
How would he react to a reader that used to be fun loving and silly become more Short tempered, and depressed when Garden view shut down? They've been isolating themselves out of fear they'll blow up at him.
If not any general hcs for him is also fine!
Hey, thank you so much for your kind words, Anon! I’m truly grateful that you and others enjoy my blog. Don’t worry—your request isn’t too specific at all, and I appreciate you providing such a clear prompt. I hope this meets your expectations!
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⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊ DEAD MALL ₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
✶ Summary: A compilation of headcanons featuring Sprout helping a melancholic reader
✶ Character(s): Sprout Seedly (Dandy’s World)
✶ Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, Angst, SFW
✶ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!
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✸ Sprout noticed the shift in your demeanor almost immediately. At first, he chalked it up to stress—after all, everyone was struggling with Gardenview’s shutdown in their own way. But as time passed, your usual playful energy remained absent, replaced by a lingering frustration that made you feel like a completely different person. It wasn’t just that you were quieter; you were angrier. It worried him more than he was willing to admit.
✸ He’s never been one for dancing around a problem, so when your mood didn’t improve, he confronted you about it directly. He didn’t mean to be pushy, but his concern overpowered any hesitation. “Something’s wrong,” he stated firmly, arms crossed as he stood in front of the opening to your room. “Talk to me.” Even when you tried to brush him off, he stood his ground, refusing to let you isolate yourself any longer.
✸ The first time you snapped at him, it caught him off guard. You hadn’t meant to, but the frustration had been building for so long that it slipped out before you could stop it. His expression faltered for just a second—just long enough for guilt to settle deep in your chest. But instead of arguing back, he exhaled sharply and took a step closer. “That’s not gonna scare me away,” he muttered, softer than usual.
✸ Sprout isn’t the best with words, but he is persistent. When you started isolating yourself, he made it his personal mission to check in every day—whether you liked it or not. If you wouldn’t come out of your room, he’d sit outside the door, chatting about whatever came to mind. “I tried a new pie recipe with Cosmo today. I think I messed up the crust, but he said it was still good. You would’ve liked it.” His voice was casual, but his meaning was clear: I miss you.
✸ He knew you were afraid of snapping at him again, but that wasn’t something he cared about. “I can handle you being mad,” he told you one night, his gaze unwavering. “What I can’t handle is you acting like I don’t exist.” It was the closest thing to vulnerability he’d been in a while, but if being honest was the only way to get through to you, then he’d rip his heart open as many times as it took.
✸ Despite his pushiness, Sprout never forced you to talk before you were ready. Instead, he found small ways to remind you that he wasn’t going anywhere. A freshly baked pastry left outside your room. A soft knock, followed by a quiet, “I’ll be in the kitchen if you want company.” No expectations, no pressure—just the promise that he was always within reach.
✸ When you finally started opening up again, it wasn’t a grand confession—it was a quiet, exhausted whisper as you sat beside him on one of the dining tables. “I just don’t want to say something I’ll regret.” He didn’t respond right away, just studied you for a long moment before finally murmuring, “Then I’ll just have to be patient, won’t I?” His usual bluntness was still there, but there was something softer beneath it, something only you got to see.
✸ As your mood slowly improved, he adjusted in kind. When you hesitated to reach out, he’d grab your hand first, squeezing it reassuringly. If you got frustrated and started spiraling, he’d guide you to the kitchen with a casual, “Help me bake something. You’re way better at kneading dough than I am.” Distractions, support, presence—he wasn’t always good with words, but he was good at being there.
✸ One of the few times you truly broke down, he didn’t hesitate. He let you cling to him, gripping the fabric of his scarf as sobs wracked your body. He didn’t try to shush you or tell you to calm down—he just held you, rubbing slow circles into your back. “You don’t have to act fine around me,” he murmured, voice steady despite the tightness in his chest. “You don’t have to pretend.”
✸ Over time, things got better. You weren’t the same toon you had been before Gardenview shut down, but you weren’t alone in that. Sprout had changed too—he had grown alongside you, adapting to your struggles without ever once making you feel like a burden. And through all of it, through every high and low, one thing had remained constant: he had never left your side.
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gnome-adjacent-vagabond · 6 months ago
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Psst hey *pulls you closer* Canon middle-aged queer relationships and multiple canon queer/queer-coded characters. *lets you go* Go watch Venture Bros.
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There are WAY more than these but I can't put em all up here because queer coding is up to interpretation. I say that everyone in Venture Bros is queer until proven straight but that's just me.
I wrote a whole-ass essay and then accidentally deleted it so the wording on this will probably be off, but it feels important so I'm gonna try be succinct.
Minor spoilers ahead! Skip paragraph three if you don't want those, then resume on paragraph four.
Full disclosure, this is a show that started in the early 2000s and has a LOT of issues in the first few seasons as well as a couple in the later seasons. There are transphobic and homophobic jokes, ableism, racism, and sexism. Sergeant Hatred is a walking trigger warning for about three seasons straight. It goes without saying but I'll say it anyway: DON'T watch this show if you have multiple triggers or are easily offended.
Having said that, these writers realized the problems with what they were writing and have worked to remedy those issues through commentary, retconning, and public acknowledgement of the early seasons' failings. Their opinions evolve and so does the show.
Shore Leave is a flamboyantly gay man who was initially intended to be a one-off joke about the G.I. Joe series and the Village People. Instead he has morphed into a three-dimensional character who presents comfortably as both masculine and feminine. He's in a loving relationship with another gay man, Al, who is flamboyant but tends to be a little less flashy. Steve Summers and Sasquatch have been a happy couple for years now--and all because the epitome of toxic masculinity, Brock Samson, helps them find a quiet cabin away from the government hunting them. Brock's mentor, Hunter Gathers, is a canonically detransitioned trans woman who struggles with her identity throughout the show (I'm still waiting for her to retransition despite the show's cancellation). Hank is perfectly at ease in a hyperfeminine strength suit, and Dean also goes through identity struggles that are never played for laughs and are heavily if not explicitly queer-coded. Vendata's queerness is understated and exists simply as a fact rather than being joked about. Sky Pilot is similar, though slightly more in Shore Leave's camp in terms of presentation. Sheila and the Monarch are self-proclaimed swingers and could be read to be in a poly relationship with Gary, their henchman. Debbie St. Simone has a rather homoerotic obsession with Sheila and is almost definitely bisexual.
The Venture Bros universe is full of queer rep, and the creators of the show write it in with intention. Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick talk about wanting it to be treated as fact rather than completely defining each of their characters--they talk about how few women are in the show and why (Johnny Quest and G.I. Joe, the inspirations for Venture Bros, are heavily malecentric and there's constant homoeroticism in them for that reason). They acknowledge the flaws and work to improve themselves and their writing. This has culminated in a surprisingly moving series about love, death, grief, trauma, and change that radiates queer subtext from any angle--especially Dean's journey.
Try the show at least up to season 4. The first three seasons are on Netflix and the rest are on Adult Swim. If you still don't like it, that's fine. Thank you for trying! Just know that it's out there and that it's an example of how human beings can change and become better people. Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick aren't perfect and neither is the Venture Bros, but for what it is it's a damn fun (shockingly so) show.
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xvxblahhhxvx · 3 months ago
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I think Dazai's backstory is really cool in how, despite having more information about it than most other characters, majority of his life is just one giant noodle incident.
Yep, that's the line I'm going with as an introduction to this analysis. Just bear with me.
To start off, for those who don't know, the term "noodle incident" originates from the (amazing) comic Calvin and Hobbes. In it, the whole idea is that Calvin did this unspecified thing in school that involved noodles, but it's never confirmed what exactly happened. It's only referenced in passing, and it is clear that it was not good. Applied to general fiction, the term Noodle Incident refers to an event that is often referenced, but never clearly explained, and what is important is the characters' reactions and feelings towards it. The principle idea behind it is that imagining what said incident could be is way more significant and impactful than anything it would actually be if it was said. It's not the event that's important, but the effects and responses to it are. *for more info, I recommend Overly Sarcastic Productions trope talk video about it*
Now, how this plays into Dazai's life is that, while it is extremely evident that he likely has a horrible, tragic backstory, we never really get to see much of it. The earliest we are introduced to him, he is already suicidal, and he has lost most in hope in existence. These feelings are tempered a bit when he first joins the Port Mafia, but they come back all too quickly. And while you could argue that him being in the Mafia is a large contributor to his depression,the main reasons why he seeks escape clearly transpired before he ever met Mori.
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Dazai was already trying to commit suicide at fourteen, which is how he met Mori. Something happened earlier in his life, but we don't know what. Asagiri himself says that he left Dazai's core, the reason he wants to die, vague on purpose. We aren't given many details, and honestly, we aren't given much backstory to it either. The two biggest hints that we get is when he is speaking to Odasaku. First in The Day I Picked Up Dazai, and the second from Dazai and the Dark Era.
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We have no idea who or what Dazai is referring to. From all that we have seen, all the backstories and light novels we are given, the only people that we know of whom Dazai actually lost were Ango and Odasaku-for Ango, it was that special friendship, and Odasaku, it was his life. And even so, it isn't much of an explanation, because he was obviously suicidal before he met them, as evident from how he speaks to Odasaku, and losing them wasn't a catalyst for Dazai's depression. (As a matter of fact, it was actually the first step towards improvement, but that's a different analysis).
Yet for how much we don't know about Dazai's life, I think it's done in such a way that it doesn't really matter. It's a noodle incident, in that sense. Because it's not about the events that actually transpired, it's about how that affects Dazai and the way we see him. Don't get me wrong, I would love a full, confirmed backstory, but Asagiri doesn't seem to intend to write it, and that makes Dazai's character so beautiful. It's also one of the reasons why the dark era, especially the light novel, is so tragic. Because yes, you can argue that as far as tragic backstories go, losing two friends isn't near the most awful, especially not in this universe (I'm not trying to play the "which character has more trauma" game, but compared to, for example, growing up in an abusive orphanage, it's relatively not as inherently tragic. That doesn't make it any less horrible though). But the point of the backstory isn't just to explain the reasoning why things ended up the way they did, why Dazai left the Mafia, boo hoo his friend died, but Odasaku and Ango represent everything in Dazai's life, everyone from his past we never got to meet and I'm not sure if we're ever going to. They symbolize all the things in his life that mattered to him, everything he never wanted to lose but did. The last scene in the bar, where the three of them meet up for the last time, Ango leaves, the picture with the three of them laughing and smiling, the whole thing is meant to serve as a microcosm for Dazai's life as a whole. That he feels he's always going to lose everything, and that's why he wants to die. We don't get details, we don't know the specific events, but we're left with the emotions that gives us an important glimpse into this character's mind, more than his life, and that's what makes him such an interesting character that's left open to interpretation and analysis. We aren't privy to the tragedy, but the aftereffects of it. And, almost as if to prove the point, Odasaku dies the next day. Right after Dazai says he always loses everyone, further cementing the idea that there's almost a curse surrounding him, a void of loneliness that may never be fulfilled, which is as much as Odasaku tells him when he dies.
Whatever happened in Dazai's life before fourteen was probably something horrible and tragic. Maybe he had a family. Maybe he had other good friends. Perhaps he even believed in the goodness of life and humanity. But what's really cool about the way he's written is that the exact events are not important nor necessary to understanding his character. His life is one big noodle incident, yet because of that, we're able to glean an almost deeper understanding about him, by leaving the details in the dark and exposing only the raw, humane emotions left behind. The most important part about any backstory in fiction isn't about what actually happened, it's about how does this affect the character now? What lasting impact did it leave on them, and how is it evident in the way they interact with the story in the present? This is something that Asagiri nails on the head when it comes to his backstories. And I think the lack of clear information about Dazai's backstory, yet all the information we do end up getting about him, is one of the reasons why Dazai is such an interesting and intriguing character in the series.
Thank you all for you time. You may now return to your procrastination.
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unusualtfs · 4 days ago
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Ascended Fanboy
inspired by a suggestion from @innermostthoughtsartappreciation
James stood in front of the mirror, disappointed with what he saw. He looked just like he always did — same greasy brown mullet, same patchy neckbeard, same unhealthily pale skin, same flabby body. The only part of him that had changed since he'd last gazed upon his reflection was his brand-new tattoo.
It was a simple drawing of his favorite character from his favorite anime. He'd gotten it in an attempt to stand out — and while it did stand out, it was mostly in a negative way. Evidently, many people found it "distasteful" and "unfit for a member of polite society." It didn't even help him connect with other fans of the anime!
But that wasn't even the biggest issue with the tattoo. No, the real reason James was standing shirtless in front of his bedroom mirror was that the skin around the ill-advised tattoo was rapidly becoming discolored. Starting a few inches from the borders of the tattoo, his vanilla-white skin abruptly transitioned to dark chocolate. Strangely, the tattoo itself also seemed to be affected, the anime girl's blue hair and bulging eyes dissolving into swirling black lines.
"Ugh, I knew there was something funky about that tattoo parlor," James sneered to his extensive collection of cartoon memorabilia, Funko pops, and body pillows.
They, of course, did not respond. They wouldn't have done so normally, because they were inanimate objects, but right now they were slowly but surely fading out of existence, which made things a lot harder for them.
But James didn't notice that tiny little detail, because right before his eyes, the discoloration was starting to spread. Inch by inch, his white skin was darkening, darkening. He rubbed a hand over the changed skin, but it didn't feel any different from regular skin. That probably ruled out skin cancer, at least. Small mercies. Although, come to think of it, he did feel a little tingling at the tattoo site...
That small sensation was all the warning he had before his entire body erupted. He could feel every muscle, every bone in his body rippling and reshaping, from his masculinizing head to his rapidly growing toes. It felt like a swarm of bees had taken up residence inside him, but it was the most pleasurable feeling he'd ever experienced.
He rose in height and shrank in width — but not by too much, because his rolls of fat were being converted into mounds of muscle: Bulging biceps, wide lats, meaty quads... His stomach collapsed in on itself, melting away into a perfect inverted triangle garnished with six cobblestone abs. He still had tits, but now they were pecs instead of moobs.
The changes had mostly avoided James' face, but that would soon be corrected. There was no reason for the Black Adonis he was becoming to have the head of a white geek, after all. Melanating skin and masculinizing muscle converged around his neck and spread up from there. His Adam's apple became more prominent, deepening his voice to a sensual baritone. His lips plumpened up, and his nose flattened out, and a thick black mustache emerged between them. His neckbeard tamed itself into a short, tasteful beard. His hair was undergoing rapid improvements as well — coiling up and receding into his skin until his mullet had been replaced by a textured fade.
Comparatively, the final changes were tame. Stained sweatpants shifted into gym shorts that left nothing to the imagination. A gold chain appeared around his neck, not hanging but resting comfortably in the groove between his pecs. He blinked, and suddenly he had piercings in his ears and nose.
James stared at himself in the mirror, dumbfounded. Where a dumpy, overweight white man had once stood, in his place was a prime specimen of Black manliness. He blinked rapidly, trying to understand what had just happened, but when he opened his eyes again, he was Jamari.
He liked being Jamari a lot better, he realized. Not only was he a rich and famous athlete, but he also had much better taste in tattoos. Better taste in general, Jamari conceded, nodding in approval at his surroundings, which had transformed from a nerd's wet dream to an expensive private gym. His previous body had been optimized for pirating anime and playing Paradox games, but this new one was optimized for working out, winning national championships, and posting thirst traps for his millions of horny followers.
Raising his bicep up to his head, Jamari attempted to find the tattoo that had started it all. But there was no sign of the anime girl, just tasteful calligraphy in the same style as the art engraved in the rest of his body. What was the character's name again? What had she even looked like? He couldn't remember. All his previous nerdy fandom knowledge was fading away, but it had been replaced by expertise in sports, exercise, and celebrity culture — more than a fair trade.
Jamari gave the mirror one last smirk. Damn, he looked fine today. His adoring fans would not be disappointed with what they saw.
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