#i feel like the batman captured what gotham is supposed to be SO perfectly

[inkykeiji]

Ahh anytime i read ur stories or think of these characters I always picture them taking place in a gotham city type vibe. Where the underworld rules the city and what are cops gunna do ya know? When half of them are involved in these crimes

anon!!!!!!!! i love u!!!!!!! oh my gosh!!!!! this ask made me squeal so loud because batman is my all-time favourite superhero and i LOVE gotham city; the grittiness, the grimness, the grimyness, everything the city is at its core, i love it all so so so much!!! <3 so i’m super flattered to hear that my work gives off these vibes!!! i’m kind of obsessed with gotham city as a concept and as an aesthetic so it makes sense that the atmosphere n setting has bled into some of my writing!!

[sohotthateveryonedied]

so i’m trying to write duke and i don’t think i’m writing him right. how would you describe his personality because with don’t trust fanon lmfaooo

(this was only supposed to be a paragraph or two i swear to god)

1. first things first, duke is a hardcore gryffindor. don’t let the yellow color scheme mislead you, okay. and while most of the time he’s depicted in fanon as “omg this family is crazy and i’m the only sane one,” it’s actually pretty much the opposite? if anything, i think the other batkids would be like “oh finally, someone who can match our level of chaotic energy. HEY DUKE WANNA BUNGEE JUMP OFF WAYNE TOWER—” and an hour later they’d all be in the batcave getting lectured by bruce for leading poor sweet innocent duke astray when really he was already planning on doing that this weekend.

listen, this is the kid who once jumped off a bridge to escape police. this is the dude who decided to fight criminals while they’re still eating their wheaties at 6am in a bright yellow suit. and while duke seems to be the best at following bruce’s command at the moment due to having been trained by him most recently compared to the others and is still figuring out how to be a hero, i’m positive that if bruce weren’t here to guide him, duke would be running around gotham taking down criminals anyway. i mean, he literally did do that with the “we are robin” kids. plus there was the whole thing when he was like ten years old and decided “i am going to singlehandedly stop the riddler in my light up sketchers and pikachu backpack. try and stop me.” 

duke is headstrong and has a strong drive toward heroism. he’s an extremely enthusiastic and passionate person in general, and i try to capture a little of that when i write him, even with mundane things like trying to beat his siblings to the last cupcake. 

2. another thing i noticed is that duke swears like a sailor in comics? seriously, this boy could give jason a run for his money with how many “@#!%” speech bubbles there are. i don’t know if this is just a trend the writers added in the comics i’ve read of him, or if it’s a genuine trait throughout every comic he’s in, but that’s something to make note of when writing dialogue for duke. after all, he did grow up in the narrows, so it makes sense that he’d use a lot of swearing and slang in his everyday vernacular.

3. i would also make a point of noting that duke is fairly young compared to the rest of the batfamily, being the second youngest after damian. duke is still a teenager in high school, and he acts like it. he’s got homework and friends and is eager to make a difference in gotham, trying to juggle everything and make it all work somehow. he’s stubborn and doesn’t give up easily, so it’s important to write him as someone who is trying to save the world while also struggling with finding time to study for his next math test. he's human. he doesn’t get to dedicate all of his time to fighting crime like cass or jason might be able to, since duke is still a mostly normal teenager with teenager problems.

4. and don’t forget that unlike the other batkids, duke still has two living parents. sure, they’re jokerized and might not ever be the same again, but they’re alive and that’s what holds him back from letting himself get as close to the waynes as he wants to. duke won’t be calling bruce “dad” anytime soon, and i think he’d have some internal struggle over stuff like holidays and birthdays with the waynes, remembering what his parents are missing out on and wondering if joining the wayne family is a betrayal to them. duke is very conflicted over this, even if he doesn’t say it directly. stuff like ducking out of movie night early or feeling a bittersweet pang during thanksgiving dinner makes sense for someone in his situation. 

(i usually ignore that aspect in my fics because i want duke to just be adopted and part of the family already, but not everyone does that, and that’s perfectly fine.)

5. honestly, duke is such a caring individual and we as a fandom need more of him being a shoulder for people to lean on because he’s?? so soft?? duke can be so sympathetic and rational when it comes to emotional problems. it seems like duke internalizes every bit of advice he gets from the people around him and uses it to inspire others and help them through their own problems. as tough and hotheaded as duke can sometimes be, he really is good when it comes to emotions.

6. duke is a smartass. he will 100% use sarcasm against any and every authority figure he meets, usually just for the hell of it. 

7. he’s very frank in general, usually the first to be like “okay full disclosure, we’re about to die right now. that sucks. anyway—” in a situation. he’s honest and tends to be upfront about his fears/anxieties, usually for comic relief, but i think it still counts.

8. okay i have to add that duke is also kind of a punk? he and jason have a lot in common because of this: they both grew up in one of gotham’s worse areas (jay in crime alley and duke in the narrows) and they’re both highkey deliquents. duke has no problem getting into fights or talking back to authority figures, and it’s gotten him in hot water on more than one occasion. it’s why he kept getting moved around the foster system before bruce took him in because no one wanted to keep him.

9. he’s also gotten so close with the other batkids and we love to see it!! duke calls cass “sis” and treats damian like the annoying little brother he never had and i adore every second of it. we haven’t gotten a lot of interactions between duke and the others aside from training and stuff, but he and jason have the whole “punk kid who got adopted by batman and is baffled by how rich people live” going for them, so they can bond over that. and duke is a thinker like tim, so they can hang out and do puzzles or play chess or whatever it is that smart people do. (and duke and steph are BESTIES i don’t care what anyone says.)

10. most of all, duke is still learning how the whole hero thing works. he’s young and he’s trying his best, but he also makes mistakes. he will be impulsive and screw up, and he’ll try and merge the lessons batman’s taught him and that his parents taught him and that other heroes teach him until it all makes sense in his own mind. duke isn’t experienced like dick or even damian, so he’s going to be lagging behind for a while until he grows until the role he’s made for himself.

other miscellaneous details to include: 

- duke is dating izzy, who used to be part of the “we are robin” gang with him - he used to live at the manor and now lives with his cousin jay, but honestly i just have him living at the manor in everything i write because i like it better that way - he can control shadows and light now! what a king! - duke secretly writes poetry and is good at creative writing in general  - this:

- duke is super smart?? he figured out that agent 37 was dick grayson without even trying?? i’m so proud of him - his biological father is this supervillain called gnomon so now duke has got four parents: his mom, his dad, his supervillain dad, and bruce (plus selina if you count her as the batkids’ stepmom, which i do) - jason calls him “narrows” and i love that

- and, lastly, the most important panel in the history of comics:

[fandumbstuff]

The DC Extended Universe, Ranked Best to Worst.

1. Wonder Woman Directed by Patty Jenkins

Wonder Woman might be the only good movie that DC has made. Patty Jenkins really hits the nail on the head and perfectly captures the voice of the character. For a character so old and so iconic, there are many versions of Diana’s story, but Patty Jenkins really manages to deliver a definitive version. Gal Gadot, like Christopher Reeve or Chadwick Boseman before her, is perfectly cast in a role that is so much more than just a movie character. Diana is as strong as she is compassionate. The character flaws she needs to overcome is her own naivete, rather than the misguided angst so many of DC’s other characters grapple with. While other action sequences in the franchise have been overly cluttered, Wonder Woman’s cinematography offers some of the slickest, most iconic action scenes in the genre. It’s an altogether incredible achievement and a milestone for cinema in general.

2. Wonder Woman 1984 Directed by Patty Jenkins

The greatest fault I could find with this movie is that it didn’t lean into the 80s setting more. It does tread the line of a rather schmaltzy central plot, but solid performances from cast members like Pedro Pascal make it believable. It’s an absolute joy to see Gadot and Pine return to their roles, and an even greater joy to see ther choice of outfits for every scene. Solid. While Kristen Wiig is expectedly brilliant like with everything she does, she’s handling a character arc that seems derivative and outdated. Like it’s predecessor, WW84 showcases some pretty stellar action sequences, with Jenkins once again showing a knowing eye for big, impressive set pieces paired with frenetically paced fight sequences.

3. Aquaman Directed by James Wan

After the convoluted mess of ensemble films like Suicide Squad and Justice League, and even some of Marvel’s recent fare, it was refreshing to see a more traditional origin story. This was ultimately what drew my interest to superheroes in general, and while this film doesn’t have the same elegance of a Superman (1978) or Batman Begins, it’s an origin story that modern audiences can sign on for easily. It’s strongest scenes are in the lore-expanding quest that Arthur and Mera go on, simultaneoulsy a National Treasure-esque adventure and a showcase for solid chemistry between Jason Momoa and Amber Heard. And while Ocean Master does seem like an exaggerated villain at times, It’s Patrick Wilson’s solid performance that manages to sell it and make him arguably the best villain DC’s had.

4. Shazam! Directed by David F. Sandberg

Obviously, an inordinate amount of fun. Shazam doesn’t try and be something it’s not. Ultimately, more than any other superhero film, Shazam understands that this genre was always intended for children. And while at times the plot might seem thin or the conflict inconsequential, Shazam never loses sight of it’s heart. A capable cast of child actors make this believable, and subverting the genre tropes makes the film charming and witty. While it seems overly simplistic in terms of it’s storytelling, in DC’s world of confusing plots, this is a welcome change.

5. Man of Steel Directed by Zack Snyder

Perhaps the strangest portrayal of Superman to date, Zack Snyder honed in on the mythos of the character and what makes him “super” Unfortunately, it seems to completely ignore what makes him a “man”. We’re left with a wholly alien representation of the character- a gross misunderstanding of who Superman is supposed to be. Horrible character choices for both Jor-El and Jonathan Kent leave Clark a shell of the hero he’s supposed to be. We’re left with a character more willing to grapple with moral dilemmas and his own inner angst than actually step up and do the right thing. Henry Cavill has an undeniably affective presence, and he certainly feels right for the role, but he’s never given a chance to actually play the part. Aesthetically pleasing to look at, and generally quite entertaining, it’s unfortunately the way Man of Steel fails its character that makes it so unbearable.

6. Birds of Prey (And the rest of the title) Directed by Cathy Yan

I mean, this is basically just a Harley Quinn movie with some other random characters thrown in. Considering Margot Robbie wrote the film, I find it particularly bothersome that the most work she does for character development is for her own character. We see brief intriguing glimpses of some of the other Birds and unfortunately never get more than a taste. Some of the fight scenes are handling quite capably, trading in the more grittier feel of the standard DC fare for more amusing prop and set work. However, much like Suicide Squad before it, I feel like the movie suffers from “soundtrack vomit”-  a post Guardians of the Galaxy symptom in which a movie tries to assemble catchy songs and them slot them into the edit with no real motivation. 

7. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Directed by Zack Snyder

An absolute misfire from DC in a sad attempt to make themselves relevant amidst Marvel’s runaway success. A focal point in the movie is the collateral damage caused by Superman in Man of Steel. And apparently the best way for the movie to deliberate on this is by exhibiting even more collateral damage. Showcasing the conflict between these two iconic characters seems like a good idea on paper, and it’s certainly been captivating in past comics. But the movie seems to devolve it into nothing more than a bar fight between two dumb jocks. We see Batman get cyber bullied by Lex Luthor, and Superman get coerced by a stupid plot hole. Then they beat each other up like idiots. A movie that spawned a thousand jokes, it’s really only worth watching to make fun of.

8. Joker Directed by Todd Philips

Apparently, this movie isn’t supposed to be counted as part of DC’s Film Universe. But I couldn’t resist the opportunity to remind you what a steaming pile of garbage it is. It would be inaccurate to even call this a movie. It’s really just a desperate actor trying to win an Oscar from an Academy that continues to be woefully out of touch. And an even more pathetic attempt by a incel director to stay relevant. The talented work from it’s cinematographer and composer force me to show some restraint from putting it at the bottom of this list, but rest assured- while there might be films I put below this, there are none I hate more. 

9.  Justice League  Directed by Zack Snyder(?)

Painful to watch, I went into this movie with the lowest of expectations, and they were somehow not met at all. It feels altogether rushed, poorly constrcuted and boring all at the same time. They forego any need for world building and instead toss us headfirst into a horribly convoluted storyline. They rush through an origin for Cyborg and introduce Aquaman like he’s the douchebag you never invited who shows up to your houseparty. Batman over-compensates for his eye-rolling seriousness in the last movie by being overly witty in this one. And they solve Superman’s death by having a hilarious grave robbing scene that I guess is supposed to be funny but is so ridiculous to watch that it felt more at place in an Adam Sandler movie. And to top it all off, the movie in general is one big eyesore. It’s honestly painful to watch the shoddy CGI that constitutes the main antagonist and the waves of enemies we watch the JL plow through. And while the opening scene I think is supposed to be a last ditch effort for them to make Superman relevant, it would be promising if I could look past his god awful CGI lip.

10. Suicide Squad  Directed by David Ayer

A hilarious comedy where the characters don’t actually have any dialogue and instead just speak in one-liners. A touching romantic drama where the Joker abuses Harley Quinn. A moving character study where Deadshot just wants to be a better father by killing Batman. A thrilling action movie where we hope the heroes can overcome Cara Delevigne’s dumb dancing and blow up the generic pillar of doom she’s summoned in the middle of Gotham. Suicide Squad is all of these things and more- so there’s my rousing endorsement.

[cloudparadox]

Remnants || Chapter 2 - Robin

Summary: AU in which Tim can see things others can’t. (Aka Ghosts)

Tim learns pretending makes things a lot easier. Especially when you watch as one Robin leaves and the other dies and you have to make sure that Batman doesn't go off the deep end.

Tim knew he wouldn't ever be Robin, not like his predecessors, but he'd damn well try, if only for other people's sake and not his own.

Words: 1855

Warnings: Angst, death, ghosts, mental health issues, bad parenting

Pairing: Tim Drake x Jason Todd (eventually)

Notes: So this chapter also kind of just happened?

I really like how this is going so far. There might be a few more typos seeing as I'm posting this from my phone so sorry in advance.

Taglist: @sweeetsummerchiild 

Chapters: one,

As Tim grew older, he learned to pretend. Pretending almost came naturally to him. He had days where he didn't feel comfortable in his own skin and so, he wore someone else's. He borrowed the best parts from those around him, and carefully crafted a new version of himself.

As such, he also started getting better at acting as if he was normal. What defined as normal was beyond his reach, but most times, normal was living up to his parent's ideals and expectations. With each passing year though, Tim realized there was more to it than that. Still, he now was somewhat capable in sending spirits away, looking away, acting oblivious to their presence unless his attention was specifically demanded by a spirit in dire need.

He was too soft, as father told him a lot. Mother had expressed the same worry. One night, now long ago, when she'd tucked him into his bed, she'd brushed a hand through his messy hair and smiled. "You're too good for this world, Timothy." Back then he hadn't quite understood what she meant, but now he was sure it was a mix of admiration, love even and a warning. To be stronger, not to leave yourself so vulnerable and trusting.

Tim tried. He really did. But some of them, he just couldn't ignore. So he helped in subtle ways, did research and discovered things that sometimes weren't things meant to be seen by a child. But he was good at that. Knowing stuff and learning more and more each day. So he did just that.

With his parents barely around, it was easy to sneak out and do whatever needed to be done. There were also his nightly adventures as he followed Batman and Robin. Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. It hadn't been hard to figure out, after seeing that move, the puzzles pieces clicking together, one by one until it formed one big, glaringly obvious picture. Tim didn't tell anyone. Wouldn't tell anyone. Especially not after what happened the last time he confided in someone about something so big and important of his life. Fat load of good it did him, the last time.

There were days when the guilt was eating him alive, concerning Dick. He'd promised Mary that he would make sure her son was safe.

She did say 'at home', didn't she?

Tim pushed the voice back towards the deepest parts of his mind. He felt bad, but what exactly was he supposed to do? Tell on Bruce and Dick so they get discovered and Gotham loses what looks to be the city's only hope? No. That wasn't an option. Dick was doing really well anyways. He was smart, strong and just good, perfect for everything Robin stood for. The Drake boy admired him, practically worshipped the very floor he walked on. Yet not once did he dare reach out to him.

'I met you the night your parents died.' or 'Your mother visited me in ghost form and asked me to look after you' weren't exactly great conversation starters. So he just let it be. It was probably better that way.

He was content with following the dynamic duo around at night, snapping picture after picture and filling entire photo albums. It was better than anything else he could've collected. This was his, and his only. Nothing he had to share, nothing he was going to be judged on since no one knew. Not even the big bad Bat himself, nor his Robin.

As all good things come to an end, so did Dick's time as Robin. It saddened Tim incredibly, but another night in Gotham during the particularly hot and humid late summer, Tim learned that the end of something could mean the birth of something new.

One quote stuck out the most as he was reading through a book.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T. S. Eliot

It reminded Tim of a supernova. A star's life comes to an end, and one last time it glows bright, billion times as bright as before. Maybe even brighter than an entire galaxy. And out of that, new things are born. A neutron star, or perhaps even a black hole.

That was a good way to describe how he felt about Jason. He was lured in, and from then on unable to get out. Not like he wanted to. Where Dick was seemingly flawless, a bright and endless supernova that demanded everyone's attention and fascination, Jason was a black hole, something brash, dark and mysterious to the point where Tim wanted to know more, his curiosity and thirst for knowledge dragging him out to the rooftops at night more often than ever.

Black holes are so dark because they don't let any of the light inside them escape. And while Tim had never spoken to Jason before, he knew there was a lot of light in the new Robin. He saw it when Robin took his time to talk to some kids, gave them candy or even walked them home to make sure they were safe. Behind all the anger and frustration he took out on the thugs and criminals of Gotham, there was a good, genuine person.

It didn't take Tim long to fall for that. Trust him to crush on someone he never talked to. He couldn't help it, no matter how much he tried. Jason was just so...perfectly imperfect. He was a mess, but Tim could relate to that in so many ways. Dick had never given him that feeling since he seemed so utterly perfect all the time.

Tim knew that was bullshit. Dick wasn't perfect, after all, no one was. But Jason was different. He was perfect in spite of all of his faults and flaws, at least to Tim. Now more than anything, he wanted to meet Robin and he actually began hoping for it, unlike before. Optimism wasn't exactly his strong suit.

Still, Tim continued to capture snapshots of Batman and his Robin.

Until Robin was gone. Until Tim found out. Jason Todd had died. His parents expressed the obligatory condolences to Bruce and then already forgot about it a few days after.

Tim wished he could've gone to the funeral. Wished he could've done something to save Jason. Wished he had been more confident to actually get to know Jason. They could have been friends. Maybe. He'd never find out. He didn't deserve to be there, anyways. It wasn't his place to have demands.

Regrets and more guilt plagued him, only getting worse when he saw how it began affecting Batman. Someone needed to do something. This couldn't go on. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. Batman needed his Robin. Bruce needed Jason.

Tim felt ashamed for thinking that he needed Jason, but as it was, he couldn't bring himself to feel all that much.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, staring at the grave and feeling his insides clench painfully, invisible hands tugging at his heart until it felt like it was being torn apart. "You deserved so much better, Jason. You could've done so much more-" he choked on a sob, hastily wiping at his face with the sleeve of his thin hoodie. By now it was almost summer again, and it hurt to remember the past summers. It had only been a year since the last one, yet it felt like an eternity, an entire lifetime ago.

He felt the presence before he saw it and whirled around to see a girl standing near him, only a few paces away. She didn't look much older than Tim, maybe a good four years, if at all. Not even an adult yet. Her hair was brown, a warm color that shone under the sunlight. Her green eyes were twinkling with something akin to mischief. The only thing that told him she wasn't alive was the way her presence felt.

"Hey. I noticed you around. I almost believed you couldn't see me. Good acting skills." her voice was both soft and strong.

"It comes from years of practice," he responded dryly.

That made the girl crack a grin at him. "I like you." she gave him an all-over,  then looking left and right, eyes raking over the empty graveyard. "I'm really sorry to bother, but this kid's ghost isn't hanging around here."

"I know." Tim had pondered what it meant. Why Jason's ghost wasn't present. He'd come to the conclusion he'd simply moved on right away, though that felt wrong. As if Jason would give up that easily. In the beginning, Tim suspected his weakening powers were the source of confusion but now he had another ghost's knowledge and insight.

The more he concentrated, the more it felt like Jason was neither gone nor here. Tim couldn't explain it and that bothered him.

Once more, he felt utterly useless.

"It sucks, huh? Being stuck like this sucks too, but from what I can see you look like shit, sorry to tell ya."

"S'okay" his voice was raspy from misuse and he cleared his throat. "I didn't even really know him. Still, it feels like I've lost someone close, kind of like a best friend." Tim really hoped no one was seeing him "talking to himself." That was always awkward.

"It's okay to be sad. I am. A lot. It's lonely."

"I get it." And that he did. Loneliness had long since becoming an unswerving companion of his.

Somehow, they ended up talking to each other the whole day. Her name was Maia. It was easy, talking to her. And he did for many more days and nights before she too moved on. It was a tearful goodbye, but Tim knew that he wasn't enough to keep her here. Maia promised him that he was enough, and he was reminded of what Mary Grayson had told him all those years ago. He actually believed her. Both of them. They had meant what they said.

Now only he needed to believe in it, too.

Tim knew he'd have to, especially with his plans to become the new Robin. He'd struggled with the thought for a long time, weighed out the cons and pros and made up dozens of plans when it came to the approach. Then it was all only a question of gathering up enough courage.

Batman needed a Robin. Dick didn't want to be Robin. That really only left Tim as an option. So he steeled himself for the rigorous training, the endless hours of lost sleep and pain that came with it and pulled through. He wouldn't tarnish the symbol that was Robin, couldn't, didn't want to. He fought tooth and nail to achieve what the Robins before him had.

And as he got dressed for his first real patrol together with Batman, he promised he would do his best to make Jason proud.

He might never be more than a pretender, but he was fine with that. Pretending was how he got through life, after all.

[iatethepomegranate]

(Belated) DickTiger Week Day 7: Picnic

This is so late I’m sorry. Happy birthday @iontorch

Masterlist (including AO3 links)

Title: We Should Do This Every Day

Rating: Explicit

Length: 4k

Summary: Dick and Tiger can't go very far for their honeymoon, but Dick has some ideas on how to make the most of it.

Notes: The park is VERY LOOSELY based on Colt State Park in Bristol, Rhode Island. I got some ideas on what to do from there and then went off and did my own thing.

The last scene is unabashed smut. I have also forgotten how to write smut.

We Should Do This Every Day

So maybe just hopping a few states over for a honeymoon wasn't what he'd had in mind, but Dick's siblings tended to get antsy when he was too far away for too long... as if he was about to fake his death again. Besides, he married Tiger because he liked the guy, not just because he loved him. If they couldn't enjoy each other's company anywhere, why get married at all?

Tiger was also hilarious during long drives... mainly because he became increasingly exasperated with Dick's attempts to entertain himself.

“I swear,” Tiger said from the passenger seat, “if you sing that damn song one more time...”

“Oh, come on. It's Batman's theme song.”

“You probably invented it,” Tiger grumbled, bumping the back of his head against the headrest.

“Not this one, no.” Dick shot him a grin before focusing back on the road. They'd been driving for a few hours and didn't have much longer left. Somehow, they hadn't killed each other, which boded well for their marriage. “We rescued a moderately famous band when I was Robin, so they wrote a song for us. It charted for a few weeks, actually. The local radio station still plays it sometimes.”

“I pity everyone who lives in Gotham City.”

“Just for the music?”

“Yes. Gotham City is a perfectly safe place otherwise.”

Dick snorted. “Can you believe I used to think you had no sense of humour?”

“My sense of humour is simply more refined than yours,” Tiger replied.

“That's just a fancy way of saying you don't find as many things funny.”

“Yes.”

Light was fading by the time they drove into town and reached the hotel. Dick and Tiger had alternated driving, so both were tired and strung-out and ready to sleep. It took a herculean effort to strip off their clothes before falling into bed. The mattress was hard, but that would just mean more leverage... when they weren't exhausted.

“At least we already knew we could get through a trip like that without killing each other,” Dick said, staring at the darkened ceiling. “Going on the run from Spyral is still paying off a year later.”

Tiger grunted into his pillow. Dick flopped across his back. They'd spent their wedding night in Gotham so they wouldn't keel over from exhaustion. Just as well, because they both fell asleep like this.

Of course, Tiger always rose early to pray, so Dick woke to find himself rolling gently across the bed, a whispered apology in his ear. It was Dick's own fault, really.

When Dick woke properly some time later, thin cracks of light lined the edges of the curtains and birdsong drifted in from outside the window. Tiger snored against his back, their legs tangled together under the warm covers.

Dick wanted to wake up like this for the rest of his life. Hell, if he had anything to say about it, he would... or as often as possible. Tiger still had his duties as Patron calling him away at times. This week, though? It was just for them.

Tiger shifted awake, rubbing his beard against Dick's bare shoulder. Dick rolled onto his back. Tiger settled against his chest, letting out a sigh as Dick stroked his hair.

“Morning, sunshine,” Dick said, his consonants still loose and lazy from sleep.

Tiger huffed. “Sunshine.”

“Shh. Let me call you things.”

“Hmph.” But he wasn't complaining.

Dick rubbed a hand over his face, yawning. “We should have breakfast.” They'd gone to bed early the previous night, and he was waking up faster than usual. That was nice. More time to spend hanging out with his BFF-slash-husband.

Tiger rolled out of bed, hunting for clothes. “Wash up. I will find you something to wear.”

“Should I be worried?”

“Yes. Fear me.”

Dick stripped off and stepped into the shower. Tiger had washed up earlier, so he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t join him. The alone time gave Dick a moment to think. He’d been in touch with the hotel beforehand and had gotten some advice for what to do in the area. They’d also agreed to help him source a few items to help things along. He’d spent a few minutes on the phone at a rest stop the previous day confirming that everything would be ready.

But first: a light breakfast.

Fortunately, the clothing Tiger had picked out for Dick was inoffensive. Probably less awful than what Dick would’ve chosen for himself. They’d mostly packed light, given the weather forecast, with a coat or two just in case. Dick tied his sweater around his neck like an asshole, mostly because Tiger hated it.

They had breakfast out on the patio, feet nudging together under the table. Tiger had taken his suggestion to eat lightly to heart, and he hadn’t questioned why.

“Aren’t you a little bit curious?” Dick asked him, spoonful of cereal forgotten in his half-raised hand. Tiger had that effect on him.

“I am,” Tiger admitted, reaching over to guide the spoon into Dick’s mouth. “Now eat, you child.”

Dick swallowed his mouthful. “Come on, man. You normally complain a lot more than this.”

“I am biding my time.” Tiger gave him a sharp, toothy smile. “You enjoy my complaints too much.”

“True. You’re cute when you’re grumpy.”

Tiger’s cheeks coloured a little, and he seized on the sudden chattering of birds in flight above them to look somewhere else. Dick rested his cheek in his hand, watching him. He could stare at Tiger for hours and not get bored. For a spy, he was rather emotive once you knew what to look for, mostly in the eyes and eyebrows. A single raised eyebrow could tell stories that Dick needed hundreds of words to tell.

Tiger caught him staring. “What?”

“Oh, nothing.” That all-too-familiar feeling of affection rose in Dick’s chest so quickly he had to let it out. “I just love you.”

Tiger’s eyes darted downwards for a moment, but then he reached out and slotted his fingers between Dick’s hand and his cheek. “I love you, too.”

They could’ve happily gone back to the hotel room and spent the whole day in there, but Dick had put a lot of planning into today and he was going to use it. The hotel had come through and sent what he requested to the nearby state park, where they’d pick it up from the ranger station. Dick wanted to keep Tiger in the dark until the last minute.

They borrowed a pair of bikes and set out. The roads were quiet today, and they were on a bike track in no time. There was just enough room to ride side-by-side, with good visibility in case someone needed to get past.

“Do you intend to tell me where we are going?” Tiger asked. There was something funny about seeing him on an ordinary bicycle after seeing him on motorcycles and tanks. It did great things for his thighs, though.

“Soon,” Dick promised. “I wanted to surprise you.”

The trail turned out back to the road soon enough, and they had to ride single file the rest of the way. They left the bikes chained up outside the park and walked inside, hands linked together. Tiger was observing the rolling green lawns around them with a little frown. Dick wanted to kiss the crease between his eyebrows.

They reached the ranger station and Dick finally grabbed the important piece of today’s outing: a picnic basket full of goodies from the local shops around town. Tiger watched him silently, a peculiar look on his face.

Dick opened the basket to check that everything was in order. “Everything okay, T?”

“I…” Tiger cleared his throat. “Yes.”

Dick grabbed his hand, leading him along the winding paths towards a spot the hotel staff had promised they would love. “Come on. What��s going on?”

Tiger kept his eyes on the greenery around them. “I do not know how to… no one has ever…”

“This your first picnic?”

“Yes.”

“Nervous?”

“I suppose.” The fact Tiger could admit something it spoke volumes of how far their relationship had come since those first days of trading barbs and trying not to kill each other out of frustration.

“You don’t have to be super cool and knowledgeable about everything, you know.” Dick looped his arm around Tiger’s, leaning against his shoulder as they walked. “It’s okay to feel out of your depth sometimes.”

“I always feel out of my depth with you.”

“That’s love, T.”

Tiger made a soft, possibly amused, possibly rueful, noise. “You know I am not used to people… doing things for me.”

“I’ll give you plenty of practice.”

His frown eased off the tiniest bit, which was the equivalent of a relieved sigh in Tiger-language. Dick nuzzled his shoulder and caught the corner of Tiger’s mouth lifting a little.

They finally reached the spot and Dick laid out the blanket. There was an open-air chapel nearby that was apparently popular for small weddings. It was just an archway and some white benches, but it still made Dick feel emotional as he laid out their spread for lunch. Dick and Tiger had married in Alfred’s rose garden. Bruce had enlisted the batkids’ help to build an archway and decorate it with the roses Alfred was willing to pluck from the garden. The park’s setup here was much simpler, but it still had Dick a little choked up.

Two men in suits were under the archway, with a small handful of people looking on. The men were wrapped up in each other, as if nobody around them existed. Dick knew that feeling well.

Tiger fed Dick a ribbon sandwich, capturing his attention once again. Eating from Tiger’s hands always went one of two ways: either the food tasted infinitely better, or he’d get so distracted that he no longer tasted the food at all. Tiger’s fingers caressing his cheek put him into that second camp.

They fed each other sandwiches, keeping an eye on the ceremony nearby. The men were crying, their foreheads pressed together.

“Do not start,” Tiger warned Dick. “Please.”

“As if you’re not getting a little misty-eyed over there,” Dick teased. They’d already finished the sandwiches without really tasting them. Then came bread and cheeses and grapes and figs.

The couple under the arch kissed. Dick leaned back against Tiger. He could almost smell the sweetness of those roses again. Their first kiss as a married couple had been tender. Tiger had cradled the back of his head like glass and dipped him like a princess. Dick didn’t mind feeling like a princess sometimes, especially when it came to the romantic stuff.

Tiger wrapped his arms around Dick’s shoulders, kissing the top of his head. “They look happy.”

“Yeah.” Dick still felt teary; he’d always had an overabundance of empathy. Couple that with memories of one of the happiest days of his life, and he had no chance. “I’m happy, too.”

“As am I.” Tiger rested his cheek where he’d kissed. He wasn’t normally this affectionate in public.

“Would you kill me if I took a selfie right now?”

“No,” Tiger said warmly. Dick got the impression he wanted to remember this moment, too.

Dick wrestled out his phone and snapped a picture of them cuddled up like this against a backdrop of green grass and distant sea. The sky was bright blue and clear. It looked exactly how Dick felt. He texted a copy of the photo to Alfred and then put his phone away. Tiger held his attention far more easily than anything else in the world.

Dick rested the platter on his lap and fed Tiger grapes over his head. Tiger would sometimes grab one and shove it into Dick’s mouth instead. Lying here, being lazy and shoving food in each other’s faces was such a stark contrast to their usual panicked running-around-trying-to-save-the-world-from-burning-down lifestyle that Dick realised this had been the right decision. Anything more elaborate than this would’ve been exhausting. They needed to relax for once.

And maybe cry over other people’s weddings.

Soft music floated over from someone’s phone at the ceremony and the two men were slow-dancing in a circle. Tiger gave Dick a squeeze. They’d felt too awkward to dance in front of the handful of people that had been at their wedding, which had been Dick’s family plus Helena, but they’d swayed together in their room afterwards.

Dick rested his head against Tiger’s chest, closing his eyes. He could feel the rise and fall of his husband’s breaths. It was one of the most comforting things he’d ever experienced. Sometimes he just liked to lie on top of him with his ear pressed against Tiger’s chest, listening to the beat of his heart and the gentle rushing of air.

The wedding party was gone when he opened his eyes; he must’ve fallen asleep. Tiger’s lovely green eyes watched him with amusement as he sat up and stretched. Dick threw a grape at him.

They quietly packed up the remnants of the picnic, nibbling on leftover bits and pieces as they went. Tiger shook the blanket and folded it away. There was still plenty of time in the day, though, and Dick didn’t want to leave yet.

He rested the basket on one of the chapel benches and led Tiger to the arch. It was a pretty lattice design, pure white. The grass had been worn down to dirt beneath it, and there was something beautiful in that, in the fact so many people had stood there with the one they loved and said the words to tie their souls together. So many hearts poured out in this one spot.

“We are already married, Dick,” Tiger reminded him, but he was smiling a little.

Dick gently swung their joined hands side-to-side. “I want to live in that moment a while longer.”

“It is a good moment,” Tiger agreed, tugging Dick towards him. He slid an arm around Dick’s waist, keeping the other hand firmly clasped in his. “Our first dance was an afterthought. We should do another.”

Dick let Tiger lead their swaying. It was less awkward doing this in front of random people walking by than a small group of people he knew well. The birdsong was their music, their hearts the rhythm.

Tiger rested his forehead against Dick’s and they both closed their eyes. Tiger freed his hand from Dick’s and slid it into his hair. They kissed slowly. Dick could almost smell the roses again. Wherever they ended up in the future, he’d have to plant some.

Dick lost track of time. He laid his head on Tiger’s shoulder and their swaying turned to gentle rocking on the spot, their arms wrapped around each other.

“I love this,” Dick whispered. “We should do this every day.” He felt Tiger smile against the side of his face.

“We should.” Tiger didn’t bring up the fact he would likely be absent for weeks, if not months, at a time. They’d deal with that later. This week was for them. No worrying allowed.

It was almost dark by the time they returned to the hotel. Tiger headed upstairs to pray while Dick spoke to the hotel staff to thank them for their help organising the picnic.

Tiger was sitting cross-legged in the of the bed when Dick returned. His fingers reverently traced the edges of his Quran as he gently closed it.

“I enjoyed our picnic,” he said quietly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, babe.” Dick climbed onto the bed beside him. “Did you want to read for a bit longer?”

Tiger shook his head. “One moment.” He slid off the bed to put the book away, and then lay down in the middle of the bed. Dick couldn’t help but trace the bridge of his nose with the tip of his finger. Tiger just smiled up at him. He smiled so freely with Dick these days. Dick loved that smile, so he kissed him.

Tiger slid his fingers down Dick’s neck and shoulders, coaxing him closer. Dick lay on top of him, and Tiger pressed his hands his back, fingers digging in. He pressed his thigh against Dick’s hip and Dick held him there.

They shed their clothes clumsily, unwilling to spend more than a few moments with their lips apart from each other.

“What do you want, babe?” Dick said, nipping Tiger’s ear.

Tiger snorted at the nickname, his legs wrapping around Dick’s waist. Dick got the message and reached for the lube he’d thrown on the nightstand at some point.

Tiger sighed when Dick slipped a finger inside him. “Finally.”

Dick kissed his stomach, grinning as his muscles shuddered. They were more than capable of going days without sex if necessary, but they didn’t like it… especially now. If they hadn’t been dead tired last night, they probably would’ve been up all night.

Dick pressed his tongue to the tip of Tiger’s cock. Tiger swore under his breath, grabbing fistfuls of bedcovers. So Dick licked him from base to tip, wrapping his lips around him and sliding back down. Tiger grabbed his hair, biting down on the pillow.

Dick pulled off, replacing his mouth with his free hand. “Sensitive tonight?”

“Do not stop. Please.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” Dick busied his mouth with things other than talking. Tiger grabbed the headboard, groaning. He didn’t take long to come into Dick’s mouth. Then he silently beckoned Dick towards him. Dick straddled his torso and Tiger grabbed his cock, twisting his wrist just so, enough that Dick had to put his hands down on the bed before he lost his balance.

“Fuck me,” Tiger said, his voice already rough.

“Won’t you be too sensitive?”

“You are a clever man, Dick. Find a solution.”

Tiger got so bossy when he bottomed. Well, he was bossy during sex in general, but he took that to impressive heights at times like this. Dick didn’t waste any time, grabbing the condom from the nightstand.

He settled between Tiger’s legs and gently pressed inside. Tiger let out a long breath and relaxed around him. His cock twitched, but it wasn’t quite ready to get hard again. Dick was going to have a hard time keeping himself together for long enough, but he’d always relished a challenge. At least Tiger had a short refractory period compared to some other (non-metahuman) guys Dick had slept with in the past. He could usually be coaxed into getting hard again with a few minutes, at least the first time.

Until then, though, Dick had to be gentle. Every movement brought out a reaction in Tiger, such a stark difference from the man he’d thought Tiger was when they first met.

Tiger caressed Dick’s cheek. “You can go faster.”

“You’ll tell me if it hurts, right?”

Tiger rolled his eyes. “Yes, Dick. We have established this.”

“My blood really isn’t in my brain right now, T. Cut me some slack.”

Tiger chuckled, which reverberated through his whole body, including his ass. Both of them had to take a breath.

“That was interesting,” said Dick.

“Mm.” Tiger nudged Dick with his thigh. “That was not an invitation to stop.”

“Yes, sir.”

Tiger grumbled about that, but Dick’s slow thrusts didn’t let him stay coherent for long. He was getting hard again, so Dick moved faster. Tiger jerked himself, breaths coming in pants, until he threw his hand away, grabbing more blankets in his fist instead.

Dick brushed his hand across Tiger’s nipples and down his chest. He trailed his fingers across his hips, barely touching the hair around his cock. Tiger grabbed Dick’s ass, pushing him in deeper. Dick was not going to last much longer. He changed his angle, and Tiger moaned, arching off the bed.

“Dick. I need… ngh… more. Roll over.”

If there was anything hotter than Tiger splayed out beneath Dick, panting for his cock, it absolutely was Tiger on top, riding his cock until they both saw stars.

Dick’s back hit the mattress and Tiger sank down on top of him. He set a punishing pace that Dick absolutely needed right now, his cock rubbing against Dick’s stomach. Dick grabbed Tiger’s hips and thrusted upwards to meet him.

Tiger leaned down and kissed him, all tongue and teeth. They had to break apart every few seconds to breathe, but fuck it was hot. Dick dug his fingers into Tiger’s hips. Their rhythm stuttered, breaths tearing out of their throats. Tiger grabbed the headboard for leverage, eyes squeezed shut, face screwed up as he moaned.

“Fuck, Tiger. I’m gonna… ahh.” Dick couldn’t take it anymore. He came inside Tiger.

Tiger grabbed his cock and fucked into his hand, spilling over onto Dick’s stomach. He was beyond sound, breaths coming out in short puffs. Dick caressed his thighs until he collapsed on top of him.

They lay there for a while, listening to each other’s breathing. Tiger shoved his face into the pillow for a moment, until he could find the energy to slide off and curl up against Dick’s side. His eyes were already closed.

Dick cupped his chin. “Tired?”

“Mm-hm.”

He kissed the man’s forehead. “Good day, huh?”

“Mm.” Tiger opened his eyes. “Thank you for everything. And fuck you.”

“Wow, man. I just made you come twice and that’s the thanks I get?”

“Now I have to take you on a date just as good as this one,” Tiger replied.

Dick snorted. “Well, if it makes you feel better, we’re married now. You can do that whenever you want. Hell, bring me donuts on patrol and blow me in an alley to the dulcet tones of a police siren and I’ll call it even.”

Tiger barked out a laugh, shoving a hand over his mouth as if hadn’t realised how loud it was. “I will do it, Dick.”

“Looking forward to it.” It was nowhere near the weirdest sex thing either of them had done, together or with others. “So, you definitely liked it?”

“Dick. I loved it.” Tiger ran a light finger down Dick’s throat. Dick wouldn’t normally let anyone touch him there—did anyone?—but it was somehow sweet when Tiger did.

“Okay. Good.”

“You know I loved it.” Tiger cuddled closer, planting a kiss on Dick’s lips.

“Maybe I wanted to hear you say it again.” Dick tangled his legs with Tiger’s. “I love you lots.”

“I love you too.” Tiger touched his forehead to Dick’s and they both closed their eyes.

Dick was going to make sure they had more days like this. The look Tiger had given him when he learned they were having a picnic was hard to forget. He wanted Tiger to experience more amazing new things he’d never had the chance to try before. He was going to spoil him rotten, just like Tiger loved to spoil him.

They’d had to fight to get here at all. Dick was not about to take that for granted. Every day with Tiger was full of laughter and wonder and so much love Dick felt like he was going to burst from it sometimes.

Tiger relaxed into sleep and Dick watched him. His breaths were slow and calm, his beard lightly scratching Dick’s shoulder. Dick wanted more of this, too, and he knew he was going to get it.

They were married now. The thought still made Dick want to do somersaults, but right now he was content to grab the blankets and cosy up to his wonderful husband. He was going to kiss him senseless in the morning.

Whatever happened in the future, however much Tiger had to travel as Patron, they would always have this. They would always come back together.

They would always be Tiger and Dick: partners, lovers…

Husbands.

[mismagireve]

WIPs/Drafts/Concepts

going under a cut because this fucker is long

like 60-stories-and-their-summaries long

Works In Progress

He Who Invites—Police Detective Ryotaro Dojima is pulled into the strange magical side of the Inaba Murder Case when he sees his nephew’s persona casually hovering above him one night.  Focuses largely on Dojima’s development and his interactions with the Investigation Team in the real world as they plan their next moves.  Five out of ??? Chapters published.

Everything Stays—The Fell Dragon Grima interacts with his fellow dragons in the kingdom of Askr.  A writing challenge to tell a story in 300-700 words each.  Somewhat on hold until more dragon units are added to the game.  Two out of Fourteen stories published.

Drafts

Words Spoken In Wormwood—Members of the Rose Cult have not overlooked Amadeus’s strange eccentricities.  They may not know what he is, but they know that he’s almost certainly not human.  Several cultists discuss Amadeus’s relationship with the Hero in a bar one night, leading to uncomfortable revelations.  Oneshot; draft has 1,751 words so far.

Can You Hear Your Heart Sing?—When you get close enough to your soulmate, your heart can’t help but sing in sheer joy at finding the person that is destined to love you forever; this causes problems when your soulmate is your also the person destined to be your enemy.  Slowburn Heropulchure Soulmate AU.  Multichapter story; draft has 722 words so far.

Somewhere Ages And Ages Hence—In exchange for being declared dead and saved from being imprisoned or executed for a crime they didn’t commit, the Reader puts their life in the hands of a strange man in a Rose uniform living out in the woods with his daughter.  Oblivious to his true identity (but not his true form), the Reader slowly falls in love with their new family.  Second-person Slowburn Reader/Sepulchure story, set during Book 3.  The Calamity Saga is unfortunately canon in this one.  Contains smut.  Twoshot; draft has 4,534 words so far.

Don’t You Dare Call Me Daddy—Though initially only taking the job for extra textbook money, Hero has to admit that it has some nice benefits.  Like getting pounded into a mattress until she can’t see straight by her old highschool history teacher.  Heropulchure Babysitter AU.  Contains smut.  Oneshot; draft has 508 words so far.

In Which The Lowblood Prince Saves A Dragon From A Princess—Prince Karkat of Prospit is sent to diffuse a situation between two princesses.  This would be fairly easy if not for the fact that one of said princesses was a dragon.  Old-ass Homestuck fic draft from 2015.  I think this was going to be fefkat.  Oneshot; draft has 1,481 words so far.

Fic Concepts

DC Comics

Not Quite Bat Son—When a new hero from Fawcett City is welcomed into the Justice League on a probationary membership, Billionaire Bruce Wayne feels a pang of nostalgia for the old city and decides to check in on how his godson Billy Batson is doing after so much time away—only to find that Billy’s guardian Ebeneezer Batson had thrown the boy to the streets nearly an entire year ago, and his whereabouts are unknown.

Tim And Dick Write A Yaoi—Sequel to The Bat And The Billionaire.  Dick Grayson and Tim Drake, the former and current Robins respectively, attempt to write their own “janky brucebat romance story” after the discovery that a market for such stories actually exists sends them into howling laughter.  The boys quickly grow bored of their story, but other players in the Batman mythos slowly find and add on to the document until it is completed.

Ain’t You Ever Hear Of A Harlequin Bat?—Harley Quinn’s dumped the Joker for good, and her new boytoy Bruce Wayne is keeping her safe in the public eye while her new partner Batman keeps an eye on the Joker’s activities in Gotham to make sure it stays that way.  Look out Gotham City, Harley Quinn maybe be fighting crime instead of causing it these days, but joining the Batclan hasn’t done a thing to reign her in.

The Adventures of Supergirl—Kara Zor-El finds a small drone with a voice coming out of it, claiming (reluctantly) to belong to a hero named Querl Dox from the 31st century.  Though initially not wanting assistance and not wanting to interfere with the past respectively, the two quickly become partners when a supervillain attack turns out to be more than Kara can handle by herself.  Querl’s history documents say she saved the world countless times; they never said she didn’t have help.

DC Comics: Black Dadam Initiative

The Prince of Kahndaq—Though not exactly planning on ever stepping down, Black Adam is still a practical enough man to plan for the possibility that he might have to anyways; that plan includes the task of choosing an heir for the throne of Kahndaq.  With no living descendants and no living mortals worthy of his kingdom, Black Adam comes to realize that the only being alive that could truly make a claim for his throne is current champion of Shazam: Billy Batson.  Not that Billy is going anywhere without his co-champions to back him up.

Welcome Home Uncle Teth!—After 5,000 years hurtling through space, the last thing that Black Adam had expected to see was not that the wizard Shazam had chosen a new Champion, but that said champion and his companions would welcome Black Adam with open arms as if he was some long lost relative instead of an enemy.  Perhaps—perhaps he might wait a bit to destroy them all.  It... has been an awful long time since anyone was happy to see him...

Ben-Adam—In accordance to ancient Egyptian belief, it takes, on average, 3,000 years for a soul to be able to reincarnate in human form once again.  But perhaps in certain special cases, a soul may choose to delay its return to human form.  When Black Adam returns to Earth after 5,000 years away, he finds one of his children waiting for him:  Billy Batson, a child living on the streets with the power of Shazam and no memory of his past life.

Fire Emblem Heroes

The Villain Of This Story—The Fell Dragon Grima is summoned to Askr, and the Order of Heroes finds that he can’t be sent away.  Not wanting to waste a perfectly good unit, the Summoner takes it upon themself to make an ally of the old god, show him that humanity has more to offer than pain and empty promises—and perhaps find love?  Grima/Summoner.

Love Like You—A series of cute oneshots of Grima and the Summoner in various situations.

We Are Ready (We Are Many)—Legion finds himselves smitten with the Summoner after they unwittingly become the first person to treat him and his brothers with unconditional kindness.  When Reese and Clarisse join the Order of Heroes, he can’t help but feel... jealous as his Summoner offers them the same treatment.  Contains smut.

Imposter—This masked swordsman, prior to what he says, cannot be Marth.  Camus has fought Marth, and while this stranger is close, he isn’t the real deal.  From what Camus can tell, he isn’t even a he at all...  Camus/Lucina crackshipping.

Penance—Titania finds the Black Knight in Askr long before any of her fellow mercenaries are summoned, and while she knows that his life is Ike’s to take, there is no way that she can bear to let the man live even a second more.  At least, no way until she realizes that the Black Knight wants her to kill him; there’s no valor in killing a man who wants to die.  Which, she supposes, leaves them at a bit of an impasse.  Titania/Zelgius crackshipping.

Google: How Do I Escape Another World?—A college student finds herself embroiled in a sudden inexplicable war as the Summoner of Askr; too bad she comes from a world without Fire Emblem so she doesn’t know who or what anything is.  At least she has her phone with her to look things up in the real world and keep in touch with her friends... Kiran/Bruno AU.

Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows Of Valentia

Creation Of The Brand—The brand of a Divine Dragon signifies a blood pact between dragons and the men that worship them.  In the early days of the nation that would become Rigel, a young tribal leader petitions her god to grant them someone worthy of becoming King.  Reader/Duma.  Contains smut.

All But Invincible—Zeke finds his memories returning much quicker after joining the Rigelian army under Jerome’s command; unlike in canon, this time he makes sure to tell Tatiana about what he’s discovered, leading to changes in the upcoming war with Zofia.  Tatizeke AU.

Sable Blood—Tatiana finds a coffin washed up on the beach, and the man isn’t human: he’s a vampire.  A young vampire, one with little power, and littler bloodlust still.  Instead of wanting to dominate the village, he’s indebted to it, and begins working to make their home an easier place to live... Something that catches the eye of the vampiress Nuibaba, whom holds this region under her iron grip.  Tatizeke AU.

Hello?  Hello?  Are You There?—In modern day Valm, long after all the gods have died and all the magic is considered little more than a myth, Tatiana moves into a house on the coast after returning to her old hometown—and finds an old ghost haunting it as she sleeps.  Tatizeke AU.

Fire Emblem Tellius Saga

Black Dawn—Sothe didn’t come in time and Micaiah was unable to escape enemy capture, leading the soldiers to bring her to a surprised General Zelgius visiting from mainland Begnion.  Not seeing any way to free her without revealing himself, Zelgius kills the soldiers and escapes with Micaiah, joining the Dawn Brigade and continuing his master’s plans at the cost of his life in Begnion.  Micaiah/Zelgius AU.

Absolution Of The Queen—Yune is able to heal the Black Knight before he perishes from his wounds, and Zelgius survives to see the end of the war.  Micaiah gives him a public pardon when she is crowned Queen in order to not deprive the struggling people of Daein of one of their few heroes, something Zelgius finds too forgiving to bear.  Then she requests that he marry her in order to strengthen the throne.  Micaiah/Zelgius AU.

The Branded King—Zelgius is normally able to smother his conscience without much issue, but one order from Ashnard suddenly strikes a chord.  The Mad King challenges his knight to a duel to the death for his ideals, and claims Zelgius as his heir upon losing.  Later, an attempt to reconcile his dual identities leads Zelgius to both cut off his ties with Begnion and reveal his true nature.  Thus begins the reign of the Branded King.  Micaiah/Zelgius AU.

What We Talked About—Ike did return from his journey one day, though he never again set foot in the nations of man.  Part of the reason he’d left was to find himself after living so much of his life fighting a war.  And part of it was to learn to become someone that could stand on equal footing with the woman he loved.  Ike/Lethe AU.

Happy Family—Lillia is able to hold on long enough for Greil and Elena to flee Daein.  Zelgius accidentally bears his brand to Greil, who offers him a chance to escape.  Lehran’s Medallion never changes hands with someone who could not withstand its power.  And the world is a happier place.  Everybody Lives AU.  Micaiah/Zelgius.

White Dahlias—Faced for the first time in his life with someone whom not only understands him, but appreciates his company, the Black Knight falls quickly and completely for his maiden.  It was easy to shove his feelings aside at first for the sake of the mission—but then he started coughing up flower petals.  Micaiah/Zelgius Hanahaki Disease AU.

Diplomatic Relations—Micaiah was never spirited away to Daein, but declared a bastard child and thrown into the ranks of the servants with only the grace of Prime Minister Sephiran keeping her from being executed instead.  Years later, an envoy from the country of Daein arrives in Begnion, and Micaiah encounters the Black Knight while tending to her royal sister.  Micaiah/Zelgius No War AU.

I Can Read Minds, You Know—There are many things that the Black Knight does not tell her, and she is willing to allow him his secrets.  However... her knight is not nearly as guarded with his emotions as he thinks he is, and they’re becoming a bit distracting.  Micaiah/Zelgius.  Contains smut.

Dragonfable

Red Bloodied Armor—Formerly written for NaNoWriMo, in serious need of rewriting.  While on the voyage home from yet another failed attempt at finding out who she used to be, Serenity’s carriage is attacked by a dragon, forcing her to take cover in a nearby castle in the woods.  Though her monstrous host is all too happy to let her stay as long as she wants and keep his daughter company, without any means of contacting the outside world, there’s no way she can leave.  And on top of that, there seems to be something else going on in the castle that no one wants her to know about... Serepulchure Beauty And The Beast AU.

A Warm Heart(h)—Xan never did recover his spark after the Hero defeated his Magman and headed to Serenity’s Inn for a job as promised.  Though admittedly terrified at first, it didn’t take all that long for the innkeeper to warm up to him.  Everyone deserves a second chance, right?  Serenity/Xan AU.

Dragonfable Awakening—Serenity joins the army after a a small detachment saves her from bandits on her way to garner trade deals for her inn.  It works out well enough: the people are nice, and she’s quite useful as a cook and a healer.  On top of that... there is a certain wyvern lord who just keeps catching her eye.  Serepulchure Fire Emblem Awakening AU.

Fate/Doom Knight—Serenity tried out the summoning circle on a lark.  Magic wasn’t real, and surely summoning spirits wasn’t either.  So why is there suddenly a very tall man in red armor in her living room asking if she’s his master?  And what the heck is a Holy Grail War?  Serepulchure Fate/Stay Night AU.

Firefly—A Star Captain wakes up in a field shortly outside of Falconreach and finds himself a stranger in a strange land.  How did he get here?  How can he get home?  At least the locals seem friendly enough...  Based loosely on conversations with @tmae3114.  Serenity/Sys-Zero AU.

Basking In The Aftermath—There are few things more enjoyable after a successful hunt than going out to the nearest tavern, having a nice meal, and getting absolutely plastered with your brother-in-arms.  Throw in some casual sex on top of that?  Now you’ve got a dragonslayer’s idea of a good time.  Hero/Galanoth.  Contains smut.

Skyrim

Gods Of Dov—Two women wake up in a cart heading to Helgen, and hundreds of miles away, a man outside of time wakes in a field.  Together, they are not only Skyrim’s only hope of stopping Alduin, but the only hope of all of Mundus.  Skyrim AU where the protagonists are Galanoth, Kensington, and Daeris.  Based on a heavily modded instance of Skyrim and mine and @hnybnny’s AQW headcanons.

Ancient Alphabets—Miraak has a name on the inside of his wrist that no one can read.  His soulmate’s name.  It is faded and white; his soulmate hasn’t been born yet.  His fellow priests console him as the years go by and his soulmate has still not been born, but Miraak is a very patient man.  He can wait.  He can wait all that he needs to until the time comes that the Last Dragonborn finally meets him.  Miraak/LDB Soulmate AU.

To Steal A Champion—As Nightingale of Nocturnal, the Dovahkiin is far better at thievery than the average mortal.  Better enough, apparently, to steal the bonds tying Miraak to Hermaus Mora for her own use.  She was just trying to keep Mora from killing him so she could kill him herself; now what’s she supposed to do with a Champion?  Miraak/LDB AU.

Fate/Stay Night

The Holy Childcare War—Heroic Spirit EMIYA is summoned in the Archer class, but his Masters are both a young Rin Tohsaka and a young Sakura Matou before her family ever traded her away.  Still wanting to prevent his future from ever occurring, Archer decides to take his two small masters and run before their father can ruin their lives and set the catastrophic events of the Fifth Holy Grail War into motion.  Unsanctioned fan sequel/retelling of the Fate doujin “Childcare is War”.

Sakura Doraku—Kariya Matou wasn’t going to win the war, and he knew it.  But that doesn’t mean he can’t save Sakura.  Sacrificing his own soul and all of his command seals to power the required miracle, he was able to grant his servant Lancelot Independent Action A+, allowing him to linger in the material plane and protect Sakura indefinitely.  Seeking to obey his Master’s final orders and redeem himself for his crimes, Lancelot steals Sakura away from the Matou family and raises her as his own for the next ten years—when Sakura is chosen as a Master for the Fifth Holy Grail War.

Oleanders In June—As magus from an old but nondescript family, Pepper Malone never thought she would get to see a Holy Grail War, much less participate in one.  So when the war starts up in the middle of her hometown, she’s going to need all the help she can get just to survive it; especially with her monstrous knight of a servant jamming up the works.  OC/Berserkerlot.  Contains smut.

Pokemon

Seelonce Mayday—At the behest of her doctor, May finally sets out on her pokemon journey through the Hoenn region in hopes that the changing scenery, fresh air, and possibility of bonding with new friends and pokemon might help lessen her depression (in conjunction with regular medication of course).  Partly a retelling of ORAS with a splash of Emerald thrown in, partly an attempt to work out my own issues vicariously through helping May overcome hers.

So Now You’re The Very Best, What’s Next?—With his pokemon journey over, it’s time for Red to return to school like every other kid.  But, what other kid can relate to what he’s been through?  Blue might’ve become Champion just the same as Red did, but he didn’t take down a criminal organization while he was at it—and speaking of criminals, what’s Red’s mom going to say about Mewtwo...?

Raphael—Byron meets a new drinking buddy one night, a man with long white hair and bright blue eyes.  He meets the man again a few nights later, and a few nights after that.  It’s nice to have someone to talk to that gets him so well, but he can’t shake the feeling that maybe there’s a connection between his new friend and the sudden string of people being rushed to the hospital for nightmare-induced insomnia.

Transformers

Cadmus—Professor Sumdac is long dead from a lab accident, and his daughter Sari is tossed out from the company she apparently has no claim to.  Trying her best to survive on the streets, Sari finds a family in the old disembodied head her father used to keep in his lab.  An unsanctioned fan rewrite of My Big Sister The Spider.

Heterodyne—Soundwave escaped the Shadowzone much quicker than expected, though with no Megatron to serve and no war to fight, he’s left at a bit of a loss for what to do now... At least, until Knock Out vouches for him to the Autobots and reminds him that there are plenty of Decepticons who’ll be coming to Earth that don’t agree with Megatron’s order to disband.  Though his new life working with former enemies is less than ideal, at least Soundwave doesn’t have to put up with Starscream anymore; not that Miko isn’t a menace in her own right.  Junewave AU.

Black Noise—There is a temple hiding deep in the woods, and a monster hiding deeper still.  A monster bound in human form nearly thirty years ago from what June hears the locals say.  And now this monster is holding her son hostage in exchange for her help in returning it to its original form.  Reverse Beauty And The Beast Junewave AU.

Deep Cover—Vorns upon vorns after an incident in Autoboot Camp lead to him losing his memory, Longarm Prime begins to fear that he may secretly be a Decepticon spy after finding hints of an additional alternative mode.  Turning directly to Ultra Magnus for advice on how to deal with this potential information leak, Longarm learns that not only was he a spy—he’s Megatron’s right-hand man.

Miscellaneous

Feral—The Dark Warrior Project was not a complete failure, but it could hardly be called a success.  With most of his body changed and most of his mind locked away under a haze of dark eco and pain, a very different Jak is rescued from Baron Praxis’s prisons—leading to a very different revolution of Haven City, and a very different ending for many of the players involved. 

What’s In A Name?—No one actually calls themselves Guild Girl or High Elf Archer: Goblin Slayer is just terrible at remembering names.  Though oddly, he does still call himself Goblin Slayer rather than a conventional name.  Priestess, or Lucidia rather, wants to know why.

It’s Not About Goblins (But I Do Care)—Guild Girl and Cow Girl put up a good fight, but Priestess has won Goblin Slayer’s heart.  Unfortunately, Goblin Slayer’s backstory has left him with a few... issues regarding intimacy and displays of affection.  At least he’s trying?

Disarmament—What is there left for the Doom Slayer to do when all the legions of doom have been slain?  What is there left to live for now that he’s finally completed his goal?  There’s a brave new world out there in need of repairing after Hell invaded.  Maybe it’s time to help picking up the pieces.  A speculative ending to the 2016 Doom reboot series.

Original Concepts

Inside The City Walls—One hundred years ago, a man named Mackeroy Neren protected the country around the Walled City from vampires.  When he left for a hunt and never returned, the City ceased almost all trade, and rarely ever opens the Walls.  But—something’s gotten into the City.  Something’s lurking in the shadows.  And one Patrice “Patty” Argall finds herself wrapped up in the middle of it all.

God’s Stone Crown—For unknown reasons, several players of the popular VRMMO God’s Stone Crown Online find themselves trapped as their characters within the game world, where things are much different than actually playing the game would lead one to believe.  There are many unfinished dungeons within the game that turn out to merely be unmapped within the world: maybe one of them could hold the key to escaping the game? Co-created with @nostalgiamascot.

The Miracles of Saint Maylis—302 years ago, Saint Maylis converted a demon to the light of the church, training him in the faith as she would any other.  300 years ago Saint Maylis lead an army against the encroach of a great evil, and never returned.  Now, the evil is returning, and the only one who can truly stop it is the only one left who was there: Sir Penetratus Iseley, the First Miracle of Saint Maylis.

Another Day In Kingfisher Bay—Welcome to idyllic Kingfisher Bay, home to a thriving superhero/supervillain population.  Would you like to spend your days cleaning up blood because one of the heroes took shelter in the wrong apartment again?  Get abducted by an alien overlord?  Or perhaps have a supervillain for a neighbor?  Try anything and everything here in Kingfisher Bay!

Journey To The Demon King—Yuliya is a simple cleric, tasked with guiding the Chosen Hero on his journey to slay the Demon King when they rise again.  So why is everyone so convinced she’s the Demon King’s next coming?  Do you see any horns under this habit???

[fanfic-inator795]

Lego Batman Oneshot: Thanksgiving With the Rogues

Just some cute holiday Batfam + rogues stuff I wanted to write for the occasion. Enjoy! ^v^

With how good of a chef Alfred was, having a kitchen or a dining room (or even a whole house) filled with good smells was pretty common at Wayne Manor. But today, the smells were especially delicious. And the dishes themselves looked pretty good too!

“You sure you aren’t making too much, Grandpa?” Dick asked as he leaned on the counter, taking a moment to rest (Alfred insisted on doing most of the cooking, but he still let the boy help with dishes and other small tasks). From what he could see so far, their plates would have a hard time fitting in-between all the various meats and side dishes! 

But the old butler just gave him a warm smile. “Better to have too much than too little, Master Dick.”

“Yeah, what Alfred said,” Bruce agreed as he stepped into the kitchen, dropping off the glass he had been drinking from, “And remember, Babs and Jim are coming over too, so it’s not like it’s just going to be the three of us eating.”

“Heh, yeah, I know,” Dick nodded, glancing over at the billionaire. Honestly, he had gotten so used to seeing his father in either his bat suit or his house robe, it was sort of strange to see him in something fairly casual but still nice. A light blue dress shirt with a dark blue jacket and black pants. There was most likely a tie to go with it too, but Bruce would probably put it on later. As for Dick himself, he had chosen a more festive look, putting on an orange sweater with a red and yellow leaf pattern on it. (Tis the season, after all!)

Alfred hummed, taking a moment to place a pot of stuffing back on the stove top before turning back to his masters. “You know... It really is nice to have people over for a holiday meal again, isn’t it?”

“Hmph, yeah, I guess,” Bruce shrugged, though even the usually stern Dark Knight couldn’t hide the small smile on his face. Just another not-so-bad change that came with having a real family and friends, it would seem. 

“Gosh, if this is what Thanksgiving is like here, I can’t WAIT for Christmas!” Dick explained, giving a small cheer. He could already imagine all the decorations and lights and presents and-!

“Uh, well, actually I’m Jewish so, yeahhh, don’t really have a lot of experience with Christmas,” Bruce admitted, “Or, you know, any super-happy holiday stuff, really. But uh, hey! Doesn’t mean we can’t still try to do it just for you! You know, just as long as it’s not TOO cheerful and stuff. Ugh.” He could still remember the time Clark insisted on having him over for the holidays in Smallville. Waaaaay too sappy.

The boy giggled a bit. “Heh, alright, we’ll just have a Batman-style Christmas! And a Batman-style Hanukkah too, Padre, if you want!”

“Heh, yeah, sure,” Bruce nodded, “Why not?” If it made his son happy, then maybe he could take a small break from vigilante work and do some more holiday stuff, just for a little bit.   

“...Hmmm, that’s strange...”

“Huh? What’s wrong, Grandpa?” Dick asked.

Alfred made a face as he continued to search the fridge. “I could’ve sworn that I left a pie in here yesterday. It was the last thing I made before heading to bed...”

Bruce’s eyes widened, and suddenly he seemed very interested in the random kitchen utensils hanging on the wall. “Yeah well, you know what they say, Alfred. Gotham’s a mysterious place. Full of criminals too. Mysterious and crime-ridden. Yep, that’s Gotham alright. Really, I would’ve been more surprised if your pie HADN’T disappeared. So, yeah.”

“...Uh huh,” Alfred said flatly. Sure, a mysterious, crime-ridden place with a certain bat-themed hero that liked to have midnight snacks. “Oh well, I suppose store bought will have to do. At least the rest of the meal will be homemade. Oh, but the stores are sure to be a mad house...” He’d be lucky to get home within a few hours with all the traffic and last minute shoppers. 

But before he could even move to turn off his oven, Dick hopped up, waving his hand. “Ooh! I can go get it for you, Grandpa!”

 Alfred blinked. “Are you sure, Master Dick? Really, it’s no troubl-”

“Yeah, it’s fine!” the boy wonder insisted, “Besides, I want to see if I can get a closer look at some of the parade while I’m there!” (Thank goodness the Joker’s parade with the laughing gas-filled balloons and the Prince music hadn’t discouraged Gotham City from continuing to have parades.)

Alfred still didn’t quite approve, but gave a nod anyway. “Well, alright. If you’re sure...” 

“Just don’t take too long, okay kid?” Bruce added as he handed him his platinum credit card, “We wouldn’t want you to miss dinner just cause you were out getting dessert.”

“Heh, don’t worry, dad,” Dick insisted, even giving a quick and confident salute, “I’ll be back before you can say ‘holy cranberries’!” And with that, he ran off - though he didn’t head towards the front door. He had a fast and easy way to get to Downtown Gotham - much faster than any limo or bus ride - but in order to use it, first he would need a quick change of clothes...

Soon enough, Robin was soaring through the skies on his Bird-hovercycle, flying past the skyscrapers of Gotham and grinning all the way! Dipping down a bit, he flew along the Thanksgiving parade route as well, waving at the citizens below as well as ooh-ing and aww-ing at all the balloons and floats (most of which had been imported from Cloud Coocoo Land itself, making them even more creative and visually amazing) just like the rest of them. 

Eventually though, he did have to turn onto another street, one consisting of smaller, more local shops - including one of Gotham’s best bakeries. But, just as Alfred had warned, even a smaller street was still fairly busy on a holiday. 

“Good thing this bike is pretty small,” Robin mumbled as he landed, parking his cycle between two cars. Once that was done, he hopped off and started heading towards the bakery with a skip in his step.

...Of course, with a bike as unique as a Bird-Hovercycle, it didn’t take long for certain others to take notice of it... 

There was a hum as a purple suited figure stepped out of a nearby alleyway and towards the bike. “Well well, what do you know?” he grinned, giggling as he clacked his hands together, “Looks like we won’t have to go all the way to Wayne Manor after all, huh guys? Talk about a lucky break!” His ‘friends’ cackled behind him, and with a single gesture,  they were all suddenly on the move.

And the Boy Wonder had no idea... 

“You’re in luck, it looks like this is our last one!”

“Gosh, guess I was just in time, huh?”

“Guess so!” With a smile, the cashier handed Robin the boxed-up pie, and in return the young hero tried to hand her the credit card, but it was refused. “It’s on the house! It’s the least I can do for one of our cities greatest heroes!”

Robin couldn’t help but grin at that, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “Gee, thanks so much! ...Say, you wouldn’t happen to have some string or a ribbon or something in the back, would you?” Flying a hoverbike at nearly 100 MPH was hard enough at times, but Robin wasn’t sure if he could do it while also trying to hold onto a pie. 

“Hmm, I think we may have a delivery bag in the back that you could borrow. Let me go check.”

“Thanks!” Glancing away for a moment, Robin examined the pie. Maybe it wasn’t one of Alfred’s, but it still looked pretty yummy! Creamy pumpkin, a bit of light whipped cream, perfectly cooked crust with no burnt bits in sight - it was sure to be a great way to end their meal. “...Hmm, maybe I should pick up some ice cream too...” Pie and ice cream was a good combo, right?

“Here ya go, sweetie!” a new voice suddenly said, bringing Robin’s attention back to the counter. The cashier (wasn’t her hair in a bun instead of pigtails just a moment ago?) practically shoved the tote bag in his face, holding it by the opening of the bag itself rather than its straps. “This should work just fine, don’t ya think?” 

“Oh! Uh, yeah, s-sure! Um, thanks again, miss.”

“Oh, any time~” The cashier gave a grin (she seemed a lot more smiley now too, now that Robin thought about it), and Robin took the bag.

“Alright, well... Happy Thanksgiv-” He opened the tote bag, and- *POOF!* A cloud of gas emerged from it, completely covering his face. Robin coughed, trying to close the bag, but it was too late. He could feel himself getting sleepier and sleepier, soon falling to his knees. “N-No...” And as his senses began to fade, he could hear not one but TWO familiar laughs behind him...

“Haha! Sweet dreams, Bird Boy! Hehehe~”

()()()()()()()()

“...No no, that’s wrong...! ...I told you, the vegetables go over there...” “Oh what does it matter...?” “Okay, who’s the wise guy switched the labels on the salt and pepper shakers?!” “Hehe, guilty!” “Ugh, condiments shouldn’t be messed with, Joker!” “Oh lighten up, CK!”

“Ugh... W-wha...?”

“Hey, guys! Look, he’s wakin’ up!” he heard the cashier - no, NOT the cashier, Harley Quinn - say. He could start to hear other rogues too, murmuring in excitement.

“Well it’s about time! I was starting to think our lunch would end up going cold!” Slowly, the Boy Wonder started to open his eyes - and all he could see was a white, grinning face with red lips and bright green hair.

“Hey there, kiddo!” the Joker greeted, “How’s it going? Nothing like a nice sleeping gas-induced nap before a meal, huh?”

“J-Joker? Joker!” Almost instantly, Robin was on his feet and in a fighting position, giving his head a bit of shake to get rid of any sleepiness he might have had left before giving the clown a glare. “What am I doing here? Why did you captur-” 

The boy stopped, glancing down at himself for a moment as he realized something. Technically, he hadn’t been captured. He wasn’t in a cage or a cell. Heck, they didn’t even tie him up! He had just been able to hop right out of his chair! “...W-Why did you bring me here?” he asked, correcting himself.

The Joker gaped at him. “Silly boy, do you even need to ask? We brought you here for a holiday meal, duh! Why else?” 

Before Robin could say anymore, Joker stepped aside, allowing the rest of the scene to become clear. Just a couple feet in front of them was a long dining room table, filled to brim with not just food but also villains. 

All of their rogues from the A-list to the D-list were sitting there, with most of them having a happy and relaxed smile on their face. Some of them were already making light dinner (or rather, lunch) conversations while others were simply eyeing all the dishes, eager to start eating. There were no weapons, no traps, no stolen goods. Just a regular old Thanksgiving meal - just with a few not-so-regular side dishes included, like raw meat for Killer Croc and a couple bowls of oranges for Man-Bat.

“...Oh.” Whether it was from surprise or simply the lack of danger, Robin sat back down in his chair, and stared at them all.

“You really can’t blame us from using other means of ‘inviting’ you, kid,” Two-Face said, with several other villains nodding in agreement.

“Maybe if you and Batman actually accepted invitations that weren’t part of some criminal scheme every once in a while,” Catwoman added, “Honestly, it’s more your fault than ours.”

“So, wait... You guys just wanted to have a Thanksgiving meal with us?” Robin asked, raising an eyebrow. Sure, a lot of these guys weren’t too bad when they weren’t in the middle of a crime, but still. This was pretty surprising and strange, even for them. 

But Joker just continued to smile, giving the boy a nod. “Yyyyep!”

“...” Glancing down at all the food now, Robin gave a small scowl. “And this isn’t just a trick, just to try and poison me or something?”

“Kid, you were just unconscious. For like, an hour!” Joker told him, crossing his arms, “If we wanted to kill you, you’d be dead by now. Besides, poisoning someone is such a lame way to kill someone. It’s just so... underwhelming!” Several more villains agreed with him on that. “Trust us, everything here is completely edible! ...Well, just as long as you consider tofu turkey edible. Ozzie over there won’t let us have the real stuff.”

The Penguin gave a confirming “Wenk!” at that while his ‘guests of honor’ (a small flock of turkeys that sat around him) continued to innocently gobble and look around, safe and alive for one more year, at least.

“But... Why?” Robin asked, more curious than confused. 

Thankfully, when it came to the adorable Boy Wonder, the villains were actually a pretty patient bunch. “Yeah yeah, we know that we’d usually do something big on the holidays,” Poison Ivy began to say, “And just between you and us, some of us actually DO have some pretty big schemes in mind for Christmas and New Years that are just going to be a hoot!”

“I’ve even got something planned for Black Friday!” Calendar Man spoke up, “Which, that starts so early that it’s like still doing a crime on Thanksgiving!”

“So yeah, we’re definitely not above causing havoc and trying to destroy the holidays,” Joker said proudly, “But this year, well...” His normally manic smile softened a bit as he remembered... “Let’s just say quite a few of us have a lot to be thankful for this year, and a lot of that is (surprisingly) because of you and Batman. So, why not take a moment to celebrate it?”

“...Yeah,” Robin nodded, finally starting to smile a bit as well, “Why not?”

“Heh, well, with all that settled-” Joker turned back towards the table, “I think it’s about time we get this meal started already! Just as soon as Batman gets here, we’ll-!”

From above, they heard one of the old window break, a dark figure smashing through them. Speak of the Bat and he shall appear, it would seem.

Landing perfectly between Robin and the Joker (though only facing towards the latter) with a deep scowl on his face, Batman narrowed his eyes. “Alright, Joker, where is he? And I swear, if you’ve hurt him at all-!”

“I’m over here, Batdad!” Robin spoke up, giving a small wave.

Batman spun around. “Robin!” He quickly looked the boy over, only daring to look relived once he was sure that his son was unharmed. “Good, you’ve already untied yourself. Come on, let’s kick their butts-!”

“Not this time, my dear enemy,” Joker told him, smirking at Batman a bit while Bane brought over a second chair, placing it next to Robin. 

“You-! ...Wait, what?”

“We’ll explain it to you later,” the clown prince of crime insisted, “But for now, let’s just start eating already, before we all starve! Come on, I’ll even let you care the tofu turkey!” 

“...” The Dark Knight looked at the Joker, then at the table full of food, and then back at the Joke, giving a flat lookr. “...It’s poisoned, isn’t it-?”

“What is with you guys and poison?!” Joker snapped, scowling now, “Seriously, poisoning someone’s meal is the most BORING way to kill a person! You’re just sitting there and waiting! Where’s the fun in that?!”

“Trust me, Padre, it’s not poisoned,” Robin added, giving his father a confident smile. 

Batman hummed, his eyes still narrowed. Of course, he still wasn’t totally sure about all of this. However, he did decide to at least sit down (for now). And with that, the first ever Rogue/Hero Thanksgiving Lunch began.

In some ways, it was about as chaotic as Batman thought it would be. There were small arguments between some of the villains, dishes were being practically thrown across the table rather than simply passed (which of course led to a couple food fights, though at least the Dynamic Duo had enough battle skills to handle those), and more than a few annoying Thanksgiving themed jokes and riddles were told by Joker and Riddler respectively.

But, in other ways... It wasn’t too bad. While sitting at the long table, enjoying their food and not having to worry about being arrested or antagonized, the infamous rogues barely seemed like rogues at all. They just talked, and ate, and played around with each other. Quite a few of the villains even asked Robin how he was doing in things like school and his training (things that the young hero was very eager to talk about) as if they were his long-lost crazy aunts and uncles.

In fact... In a strange way, they really were sort of like another family to Batman. A weird, destructive, VERY quirky one (then again, he wasn’t exactly ‘normal’ himself), but a semi-family unit nonetheless. 

And hey, if the occasional bites he took from the food was any consolation, they weren’t bad cooks either. 

But as admittedly nice as it all was, it wasn’t to last. Not when there was still another Thanksgiving meal to get to. So as soon as things began to wind down and the desserts had nearly been finished off, Batman stood up from his seat.

“Alright well, this has been nice but, we probably should get going,” he said, “But uh, thanks for, you know, not trying to kill us for once.”

“Yeah!” Robin added, giving them all a cheerful smile as he jumped to his feet, “This was great! Thanks so much for the food! It’s too bad we can’t stay a bit longer, but-” He gave a small gasp, suddenly remembering. “Oh, wait! My pie! Hey, when you guys kidnapped me, did any of you see a-?”

“Wait, you mean a pumpkin pie with whipped cream on it?” Joker asked, standing up as well, “You mean that WASN’T for us to eat? Oh well, too bad!”

“What?!” In an instant, the boy looked practically heartbroken. Sniffling slightly, he glanced down at his feet, hoping that Alfred wouldn’t be too disappointed.

The Joker winced. “Oh geez, don’t cry, kiddo! I was just kidding! Here-” Reaching behind his back and pulling it out of seemingly nowhere, the clown revealed the pie, safe and uneaten.

At that, Robin immediately went from sad to happy once more. “Thanks, Mr. Joker!”

“Yeah yeah,” Joker mumbled, chuckling slightly as he handed him the dessert, “Man, someone ought to get those sad puppy-dog eyes of yours classified as weapons...” 

“Heh, tell me about it,” Batman smirked. Robin just continued to smile, holding the dessert box close to him. “...So hey, don’t think that any of this will make us think twice about chasing after any of you. Got it?”

Joker gave him a toothy grin. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, greatest enemy.”

“Cool,” the hero nodded, “So, yeah, happy Thanksgiving, Joker.”

The gesture was nice, but the clown didn’t give one in return. Instead, he raised an eyebrow. “Um, Batsy? Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“...” Batman sighed (or maybe it was more of a groan), but he still forced himself to say it. “I hate you.”

Joker’s smile, a softer one this time, quickly returned. “Hate you too, Bats. Happy Thanksgiving.”

()()()()()()()()()()

As it was to be expected, thanksgiving dinner at Wayne Manor was just as enjoyable (if not more enjoyable) as the one at the Joker’s hideout. The meal was cooked to perfection, the Gordons were enjoyable to talk to, and - as Alfred made sure to point out - the pie really was a perfect end to their meal despite it being from a store. 

At some point though, between the moving from the dining room to a more comfortable sitting area and opening of another bottle of fancy wine, Dick disappeared from the family scene.

“Hmph, usually I’m the one who disappears,” Bruce mumbled as he walked down the hall. He had excused himself to go look for the boy, though it didn’t take him long to figure out where Dick had gone, thanks to a slight breeze in one of the east halls. 

Opening the glass door, the billionaire stepped out onto the balcony. From the light of the full moon above as well as the small lights lit along the side of the manor, he could easily spot his son sitting on the edge of the railing. Had he been any other child and not a super talented kid-acrobat, Bruce would’ve been concerned. But Dick was indeed a super talented kid-acrobat, so instead he simply joined him on the edge.

Dick gave a small yawn before smiling over at him. “Hey Dad...”

“Hey kid,” Bruce nodded, “You didn’t eat too much, did you?”

“Nah, just sorta sleepy. Though the air would wake me up,” Dick explained, leaning slightly on his father as he did so. 

“Makes sense.” Using a free arm, he gently ruffled Dick’s hair before resting a hand on the boy’s shoulders. 

Smiling a bit more now, Dick closed his eyes, just for a moment. “Today was a good day... A good Thanksgiving...”

“Heh, yeah. I mean, the whole kidnapping-invite to a villain lunch was a bit of a surprise but, yeah, still pretty good.”

“Yep,” the boy nodded, yawning again, “And, and then we got to have another family meal here at the manor. A meal for our normal sides, and our superhero sides.” Considering that, not too long ago, neither of them would’ve had any family-filled holiday meals, two of them in the same day really was a nice thought. “...Hey Padre?”

“Yeah?” Dick didn’t answer right away. Instead, he moved closer, giving Bruce a tight hug before continue. “...I’m really glad that I’m able to celebrate the holidays with you, and Alfred, and everyone. Really glad...” 

“...” Slowly, Bruce returned the hug, smiling despite the slight ache in his heart.  “Yeah... Me too, mi hijo. Me too.” Maybe his parents could never share another holiday with him, but he still had the next best thing, and that was more than enough..

The two hugged for a bit longer before letting go. Once they hopped off the balcony railing, it was only then that they noticed another person had joined them outside. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, Sirs,” Alfred began to say, “But I just wanted to let you both know that Miss Barbara and Former Commisioner Gordon were forced to leave early.”

Dick straightened up a bit at that, looking a bit more awake now. “Really? Why?”

“Well, I didn’t get all the details but, I believe it was mainly because of a recently reported incident from downtown,” Alfred continued, “Something about... Calendar Man using remote controlled shopping carts to steal products and terrorize Black Friday shoppers?” 

“...” Slowly, the Dynamic Duo turned towards each other. Bruce gave his son a bit of a look, but Dick just smiled, looking as determined as ever. And once he saw that, Bruce returned the smile. “Actually Alfred, I think we may head out and do some ‘shopping’ too.” 

“Very well,” Alfred nodded, stepping aside and silently wishing them luck, “I’ll be sure to leave out some leftovers in case either of you are hungry afterwards.”

“Thanks Grandpa!” Dick called back at him as he and Bruce ran inside, more than ready for the end of their Thanksgiving and the exciting start of their nightly superhero activities.

After all, what was a holiday in Gotham without a super villain fight?

THE END 

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff - THE (FULL) TROOF ABOUT STEVEN UNIVERSE

WARNING: What you’ll see under the cut is possibly one of the grandest things I will ever do and generally one of the biggest SU Crit posts of all time. Be advised that explicit language is present and we ask that readers are open-minded and reasonable with any given retort. Note that this has been edited due to Tumblr’s limitations of presentable media so click here for the Director’s Cut.

Do like & share if you enjoyed it or if I fought your boredom. Thank you and take care out there. 

Steven Universe is a charming, popular show with a quad-polar fandom, and I’m only here to point out what I say is legitimately wrong with this cartoon. Simple enough? Fair enough.

POINT #1 - THE ACTION:

Okay, my first point really doesn’t just apply with cartoons, but fights in general. Question: what’s the one thing that people get the most out of seeing a fight? The impacts. Those moments where the opponent is given such a crushing ass blow, that you can feel the effort that went into that attack. Yeah, Steven Universe lacks this. I mean, it can look like the characters are putting effort into fighting their opponents and it can look like they’re getting hurt pretty bad (thanks to applied visuals and sound effects), but it never feels like the characters are actually hitting each other. There are instances of impact, but they’re menial and they’re scattered between the duelists smacking each other like helium filled action figures; feeling as tender as any other motion the characters do throughout. Now if you’re wondering what I mean by impacts, note these prime examples; because animes know their action.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Hajime no Ippo

Summer Wars

My Hero Academia

If present, violence can/should provide a stark raving contrast to the supposedly grounded world in any series, and the impacts of violence should be escalating with every punch or kick. Attacks should fly with fierce swiftness, the weight/force of any blow can be seen; raw power, speed, and stamina should be pushed to limits unknown. Now, I’m not saying Steven U has to imitate any incredible, well animated fight scene that anime has flawlessly provided by now, but more effort should have been made to escalate the impact of their fights, not keep it steady tuned with

*Smear work to make the boring motions look fast paced

*Spiky white marks to show a clash

*quick visual instances of impact that lets you know a character is getting hurt

*and tons of smoke to cover the possibly graphic imagery

Steven Universe has the fundamentals of action down, but they don’t go beyond that (plus ultra). Their fights can look technically similar with the characters being the only real source of variation, especially when you can figure out their attacks ahead of time. So I hate to say this, but if you’ve seen one fight, you’ve seen ‘em all.

Another reason I presented Steven U’s lacking action is because tts not just about fists flying or weapons clashing, but the balance of emotion that goes with the foes putting their heart and soul into taking each other down. But, for most of the time, I don’t see SU’s fights present any real hook of seriousness, even if it wants me to, and most of them feel present for (basic) comedy. I feel less invested in who’s fighting, or why, than I am at how they’re getting beat up. Ironic, being a show that’s all about being open with its “serious” emotions. Combined with its lackluster animation, and they don’t add much contrast towards an otherwise easy going series

This here is honestly the most funniest a fight scene of theirs can get (mostly ‘cuz Peri deserved that), but after seeing the pretty slow animation, it can lose its luster no matter how deserving it may seem. Now notice this whopping scene, from the anime One Punch Man, below.

You can know nothing about One Punch Man, who these characters really are, but you can tell from these 5 seconds alone that when a fight happens, there’s a fast, over the top sense of comedy that comes with the brutal nature of a man that can apparently KO anybody in one swing, ironic and even more comedic with said one hit wonder being the most emotionless looking character on the show.

Seriously, that’s his face for almost the whole series

Now I know what you’re thinking, “But Monkey Network, it’s mostly a slice of life cartoon. The action scenes aren’t that prominent in the series as you might think and hope. It’s not supposed to be a violent show.” And I’d say fair point except for the fact that Friendship is Magic is also a slice of life cartoon that only has a few real action scenes under its belt, and this particular one is the best fucking thing I’ll ever see.

AGAIN, you can know nothing about the series as a whole, or this episode in general, but this fight alone perfectly captures the game Steven Universe has never really utilized since its early days. It has some seriousness with its escalating over the top attacks, the pace never feels constant, and even though they’re evenly matched, the things they do look fucking cool. The only downside is that since the show has puppet flash animation, it does looks limited, but even then they made the most of it. Steven Universe is hand drawn, so with all due respect, they have no fucking excuse. Their fight scenes amount to stay the course animation with glimpses of impact and a flashy style to avoid it from being pod racing levels of BORING. I’ve seen fan animations that would give this show a run for its money.

The Fandom provides more than the actual show

Even before Garnet’s fight with Jasper, Steven Universe’s action sequences was a sweet chunk of what made the show investing to watch, and looking at back at it, I was a bit too invested in something that wasn’t that invested in itself. Again, I know it can’t stack up to the God tier works that the anime world’s made for itself, but compared to other action present cartoons (Voltron, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, Avatar, The Powerpuff Girls, MLP, OK KO, any shonen anime), I think maybe they could/should git a little gooder in providing actual fights, not sparring matches. That, and if Sugar Honey Ice Tea and her crewniverse can put such effort into the facial expressions, they can make the fights more expressive too.

POINT #2 - THE “VILLAINS”:

Now, I fucking love villains. Not just for the who, but why and how they do it. When bad guys like the Joker, Lord Dominator, DIO, or Him do their thing onscreen, I enjoy every moment of their threatening essence (except Jared Leto’s Joker, he sucked). Villains remorselessly do unethical, downright vicious, things to fulfill their goals while initiating setting up the heroes to correct these effects with their efforts and abilities. Steven Universe has villains, sure. Yet, after having so many chances, Rebecca Sugardaddy has failed to make them REAL villains, specifically the Great Diamond Authority.

Now originally, I was gonna compare the Diamonds to the likes of Fire Lord Ozai(Avatar: The Last Airbender) or DIO (JJBA); villains that work in the shadows and when they’re eventually revealed, they’re already a force to be reckoned with. But looking into how they and Homeworld is set up, there was no other villainous ensemble that could stack up with the Diamonds perfectly like the Gorosei from the anime One Piece.

Looking more badass than the US Government

Now these five gentlemen aren’t necessarily what make up the end all be all for the series, but above all, the Gorosei are the ruling leaders of the organization that controls the entire world of One Piece. They command the military, the police, and other agencies, like their investigative and espionage departments, and the only people that out rule these gentlemen are the descendants of those who created it several centuries ago. Like the Diamonds, they seek to maintain order and justice for the people of their world and doing so means taking on any sign of revolution (namely Pirates) that could damage not only their image, but their purpose. Both Authorities possess absolute rule over the many classes that are under them and their stance of power can be present with the many actions that effect the characters we focus on currently. The difference between the two ruling classes is nuance, aka a grey sense of morality, aka an actual sense of relatability. So when I see a series having an overall narrative villain, Steven Universe has shown me that sympathy should NOT be a factor in storytelling.

Now when I say this, I don’t mean you can’t sympathize with any villain you see. Most of the time, you can feel for the antagonist when their lives never were good to begin with, that’s namely how villainy starts out, therefore making their actions not so much justified, but understandable. Take the rogues gallery that are the enemies of Batman.

Every one of them has a story to tell and a method to their madness. Their histories weren’t as nice or as hopeful as they may have hoped, and you can feel their pain as their efforts to be successful at something grand falls apart due to the Dark Knight or life’s unforgiving nature. However, the sympathy stops there because none of these masterminds, with the Joker being an exception, serve as a main villain to Batman’s crusade for justice, they’re continuous rivals and one off stories that expand the DC Universe. No evil in Gotham is powerful enough because Batman’s story has no real endgame. Steven Universe and One Piece will eventually have an endgame. And while the Gorosei represent an Oligarchical commodity that separates its order seeking rule from their affiliating countries, The Diamonds have amounted to being under one system alone:

Or generally cruel Collectivism if you wanna sound smart

And it’s weird I bring this up. For I would’ve thought to have called Homeworld an authoritative caste system where the gem you’re born with defines your class and status, coinciding with the gems’ natural abilities. The specific gems are given a role and everyone plays a part to maintain societal order, like what India has, with the Diamonds being the biggest and strongest gems and therefore are the de facto Matriarch of the gem society, you feel me? That would’ve earned a little sympathy from me, because the Diamonds losing Pink would’ve meant the massive changes to accommodate their order and resources might not have worked out so well and their image as leaders are slowly diminishing and that can explain the huge resentment for Earth and Rose’s Rebellion.

But no. Instead the Diamonds are a repressive totalitarian government that basically control everyone and everything, all the gems below to strictly follow and almost never question their line of reasoning, and they’re reasons for destroying the Earth has been summarized down to the emotional baggage and grudge that came with their failure long ago.

CAN YOU NOT FEEL THEIR STRUGGLE?!

Wanna know why I didn’t compare the Diamonds to Avatar’s Fire Nation when talking about humanizing the enemy and the connection couldn’t be more obvious? Because before Ozai is ever mentioned, The Last Airbender states very clearly that the Fire Nation is the region Aang and his friends need to infiltrate to stop their manifest destiny. And when we’re early hinted that Zuko’s not full on evil, it lets the audience know that not everyone is on board with those in charge of the Fire Nation invasion, leading up to Ozai’s big debut where we see that as the endgame villain, he’s irredeemable and has such a lust for power, that he’s recognizably the main drive everyone has to stop. Avatar did this right because little by little, the main enemy was narrowed down to a single force that hasn’t made itself known until near the end when his presence bear more importance. The same can’t be said for Steven Universe because Rebecca Sugar Rush presented yet another faint mistake.

The Diamond’s personalities are given to us before they’ve shown us who they are and what they’re capable of…

So we see Yellow Diamond as a vindictive, no nonsense leader that wants shit to get done and Blue Diamond as a more tender looking, yet no nonsense leader that’s grieving over Pink Diamond’s death and does whatever she can to move on and remember the fallen fondly. So, have they done anything before we’ve met them personally? Sure.

*They corrupted thousands of their own kind (because of the rebellion)

*Allowed experimentation towards shattered gems to make artificial fusion or disembodied amalgamates (because of the rebellion)

*And let’s not forget the Cluster (because of the rebellion)

So yeah, quite a lot actually. Now you might be thinking, “But Monkey Network, what does those five old men have to do with what the Diamonds did?” Well, when you see the villainous shit the Gorosei have commanded, their actions are actually more relatable than one would expect.

*Ordering the destruction of an island of archaeologists because they were secretly researching forbidden history

*Ordered death to any pregnant woman in sight fearing that one could be pregnant with Gol D. Roger, the OG Pirate King’s, child. Said slaughter lasted for around two years (Special thanks to @des-the-girl​ for this info)

*Directing the Marines, or the front line enemies of our Pirate heroes

*And contemplating their system’s next move when updates arrive

Now I don’t know about you, but these gentlemen make up quite an authoritative class with understandable motives and relatable notions on running the world without necessarily being on the front lines. Kinda like the US over the years? Even when their level of corruption can be on par and we still know little of their true power and who they really are, they’re instantly better than the Diamond Authority because we can see why they’re in command, their thoughts and actions towards our heroes shows no sign of being sympathetic, and yet we see where their motives lie. I mean, their Government’s enemies are pirates. You know, Pirates? People who’ve robbed and killed and are the opposite of order? See where I’m going here? They namely go after our heroes who are seen to be the enemy even when the Pirates and plenty others consider them the enemy. It’s almost as if there’s a grey choice for the audience to wonder whom the real bad guys are. OooooOOh. Also, quick side note. The Gorosei look fucking cool. Like their designs aren’t exactly human, credit towards Eiichiro Oda and his expressive designs, but they’re drawn with such a level of seriousness and stature that it presents their elder wisdom and grave subtlety towards a subject in a contrasting light to the pirates bombastic, emotional appeal.

So, what’s the tl;dr aspect of this since you probably won’t take this seriously? Well, call this a domino effect. Basically, Rebecca Sugardop has given us nonthreatening villains that showed no sign of any redeemable qualities beyond their ability to mesmerize us with their acting, and the audience should have a bit of sympathy for their side (see ”Bismuth”). In doing so, she failed to make them real villains. In doing that, there really are no real villains in the show. And when there are no villains, the conflict feels dry and absent. And without conflict, she failed at putting together HALF an overall story. And when you’re a coming of age story where it has to end on some note with maturity and change, after almost five years in the making, you just FUCKED yourself over when you didn’t even invest time in HALF of what makes an overall story of good and evil investing and engaging. Oh I’m sorry, what makes an overall story of a blurred line between good and evil. Investing and engaging.

Ugh, I can’t care anymore. If they get redeemed, sure. If they end up dying like a tragedy, fine. They feel less like villains to overcome and more like stairs Steven has to step on to become a better person. Just let White Diamond be as grandiose and badass as Tumblr’s AUs of her, because again…

The fandom is doing the show a bit of justice

POINT #3 - BEACH CITY:

Okay, before I provide attention to our main gem heroes, I thought I’d give their home of Beach City a vocal point to express the diversity they offer and what makes them an essential drive for Steven and the Crystal Gems to protect the Earth by any means. I mean, they offer such valid representation for the show’s world building and can offer plenty of stories to tell to give us that slice of lifevibe the show really needed. But I believe, after seeing Beach City time and time again over the course of 4 years, that I can summate its presence in the show with a single- Nay. With two simple yet comprehensible words.

Who cares?

Whooo CARES?

Thank you, respectable actor Elaine Stritch. Rest in Peace

To continue, don’t get me wrong. Worldbuilding is more than essential for a story like Steven Universe, Berserk, Friendship is Magic, Legend of Zelda, and so on. Whether big or small, expanding a setting is important to giving characters a versatile way to look at their world in a differing light than before. But suffice to say, what world has Steven Universe built for itself?

*A populated province in the East Coast?

*A barn?

*Ancient ruins? Among other distant gem territory?

Aye, this troof is gonna be hard to explain. We just have locations, people. That’s it. They’re no special than the mini Galaxies from Super Mario Galaxy 2, only on Wii, Rated E for Everyone. A place can look cool and a population there can bring life to it, but they should have something for the characters to interact with and visibly wonder about what they might get into as they adapt and progress in some way. And by some way, I don’t mean insert plot devices that help make the characters do significant looking things, and I’ll get to that a bit later. But to sum it up, Steven Universe present locations, but those locations lack identity and coordination.

Stick around, Link, I might need your example

I got a short story to tell. True story. And this story provides my reason, above all else, for why Beach City doesn’t hold much water anymore when talking about world building, specifically after the show’s first season (or Full Disclosure).

There’s a comic book TV show called Preacher, premieres Mondays @ 9, only on AMC. Essentially it’s about a criminal turned Priest, possessed with a supernatural power, going on a cross country road trip to find the physical form of God with his his mate who’s also a vampire and his ex-girlfriend. Pretty vivid premise, but see for yourself. The first season however sets up the road trip where the priest, his ex, and vampire friend stay in a small town in Texas to not only introduce them, the power that the priest gets, and the type of humor throughout, but flesh out a few citizens they encounter pretty well in a thematically connected turnabout for ten episodes straight. All seems good.

Up until the entire town loses their minds, after losing all faith in belief, which eventually leads to a methane nuclear sized explosion that wipes out everybody except the three main characters who exited a few scenes before.

The End.

Now, let’s talk relevance. If I ran Steven Universe, and I don’t think I can, and I pulled 👆👆 that on Beach City at season 1′s end. Erase everything you’ve seen, every citizen will be forced to disappear except the major plot oriented characters, basically resetting the structure. If I did that, how much would it change? What would we really lose? The diverse Beach citizens that don’t and can’t do shit against the enemies we’ve see unless they’re forced to get involved in some way which rarely happens?

You can put as many people of color and as many personalities in your world all you want, but effort should also be put into not just making them NPC levels of value to the point where a reset button wouldn’t put much a dent to the “world building”. The worst part is that it’s not like Batman’s Gotham City or Spider-Man’s New York; places where the villains are plotting while they’re within city walls. Steven Universe’s enemies have to either be brought out somewhere (gem monsters, Lapis) or brought to (Jasper, that red Eye, Aqua and Topaz) Beach City for the place to provide any significant or value. So…

Just saying.

Now if the whole series was like season one with the non “To Be Continued”slice of life episodes, then it would’ve work. Phineas and Ferb, Foster’s Home, and Friendship is Magic has done this well with keeping their main location (The Foster House, Danville, Ponyville, etc.) as their central hubworld for casual stories with a venture outside of them from time to time. I would’ve been okay with Beach City being the spot for Steven and his limitless squad to grow together like Rebecca intended at first. Then I’m reminded that there’s an world expanding story in this, with bigger consequences and threaded arcs, and I’m stuck between investing in the many things they give me, complaining towards full episodes that add up to nothing and went nowhere special, and whining about the lack of reruns it gets on TV compared to Teen Titans GO.

Bottom line, you had/have your comic series to commit to your slice of life genre instead of trying to keep it in the show.

Now, I’m at a disadvantage here. If I want to talk about the actual “SCIENCE FANTASY WORLD BUILDING”, then I’ll have to talk about the Crystal Gems’ involvement in them and I can’t really do that. Luckily, I don’t have to, for SU has unintentionally played itself: when it comes to the Gem oriented locations outside Beach City, they tell but never really show. And turns out I don’t need Link’s example, but Samus Aran’s. Namely, her universe in the Metroid Prime series.

A key element to world building is the control and fun in exploration where you find and somewhat interact with aspects of an environment’s purpose and history while you’re on the go, giving the place more of an identity. Metroid Prime does this well where you journey through different parts of the Galaxy and with your scan visor, you can catalog and figure out the intricacies of the settings, the enemies within them, and info that seem trivial at first, but can offer much in progressing ahead in the game. Note the example before you…

And don’t stare deep into Samus’s blue eyes

Sure it’s an optional part of the game, and you can still trek on with or without having to continuously research the world’s lore, but it offers that versatility where you’re well in control in how to experience the game. Then again, this is a video game, where your skill in figuring things out is the only way to progress anything. What cartoon has this similar level of versatility? I mean, what else?

What else?

Gravity Falls may have stayed in one place, but it gives the characters and audience so much to explore and theorize on. They don’t tackle “everything” the world might have offered (bigfoot), but still give you so much to look out for without ever holding your hand or giving a cliffnotes version on a mystery of theirs. Hell, the fandom was hollering on Tumblr over predicting one of the show’s biggest mysteries being confirmed long before it aired. Hirsh didn’t just give those theory nuts what they wanted, his crew eased us in on how the narrative is taking a turn to someplace different and new without really forcing it on everybody. There was still that enjoyable sense of control that resonated in both the show’s direction and the audience’s experience.

I mean come on, this just oozes the moment of truth

Don’t get me wrong. The crewniverse offer very interesting locations and things that resonate with Gem stuff. My final problem with this is that when I think they might utilize these different places and things, they hold back to sharing but a glimpse of anything the show has plenty of utilizing potential for. Like…

Could this control room present more information about Homeworld’s plans for the gems than just the Cluster? “Probably not, it fulfilled its purpose. Let’s move on.”

What about these drills? Could we personally see how one works, like accidentally reactivate it to see how it functions? “Nah, they’re all dead. Let’s move on.”

Or what about the holes? Could we have some kind of flashback depicting how a gem leaps out the ground? “Nope.” Not even the off col- “NOPE.”

What’s that supposed to be? Is it something important to Homeworld? “We’ll get to that later. Let’s move on.”

Man, this place looks cool. Connie might consider this since she handles weapons and might want something new, like armor or throwing weapons. “Look man, this tour is scheduled. You’ve seen it, we’ll get back to it later. Moving right along.” This tour sucks. “You paid for it, my friend.”

Egoraptor said it best: I’m not witnessing an adventure, I’m a guest at their theme park. This is Kingdom Hearts levels of dragging it along, and I know… “But Monkey Network, they might come back to all that stuff soon. It’s called foreshadowing, you whiner.” To that, I say HA! There’s a huge difference between foreshadowing and giving us cameos. And that is in...

PRESENTATION!

Long story short, if it’s subtle and holds a threatening or vague presence, THAT’s foreshadowing. If it’s already out in the open and is not given a lot of screentime or detail, that’s cameo-ing and waiting for more. The last thing a show should do is hold back and have its audience wait like shoving a secret box in our face, and that’s all Steven Universe has been doing. That’s why so many rant about what’s filler or not. That’s why so many theorize on the most reaching of details. That’s why people proudly growl at what could be the crew’s simple decisions. Because when everything must come back to Beach City, post “Full Disclosure”, exploration can be limited, detail can be limited, and it’ll be up to the audience to speculate/construct the world-building for themselves, making the control and experience for the show feel one sided, therefore UNFAIR.

Like I said, the things I’ve seen offer so much to think about, but Rebecca Sugar sack could’ve done better with presenting them in a better light than a dim mode. The fate of Steven Universe’s future is a mystery to me, and I don’t know what they’re gonna cram in season 5 this fall. All I know is MJ (or Mystery Girl) is fine as fuck and we’re all gonna get something good eventually. My man Ian Jones-Quartey said good world building takes time, and they sure are taking their time.

POINT #4 - THE REPRESENTATION:

Representation in media can be easy when the right writers are at the helm to present (not push) a message of acceptance and acknowledgement towards an audience that may or may not feel the same way. It takes different strokes to rule the world, after all. However, when it comes to character in general, there are two factors in characterization that when used correctly can appeal their message of acceptance for their audience. One, visual acknowledgement of the representing characters (POC, LGBT, belief, etc.) in question and two, giving the subjects good quality participation to show that they are just as adept to the world as any other without phoning in the fact that they are this or that. Long story short, make ‘em good characters and the representation can earn the audience’s respect for itself. Steven U lacks this too, and this comes from them often showing us stuff and expecting us to just go with it, with themes that are enough just to get by fans. Hell, they show us as much as a drive by…

Not even a cool one at that, fresh

I’ll say this to start off: Lars Barriga (my neega) was a stagnant and frustrating character to deal with; nobody in Beach City moved him in any way (not even his own supporting parents), and the writers just shotgunned him growth (more than once) after he basically had to cheat death (more than once) to gain a better conscience. It’s like they wanted to call him a lost cause but had to hook him back in some way for the audience to not deem him a lost cause. So with all due respect, does it matter that he’s Filipino or a trans boy when nothing valuable or thoughtful has come from him especially? Those trivial tidbits can mostly come off as add ons or secondary nods, when they should’ve been welcomed knowledge about his character. Want an good example? Look to the comic series Lumberjanes, especially issues 14-17 and 28. SPOILERS, though…

They did this right for characters Jo and Barney (Jo’s the one in the 2nd panel, Barney’s in the first). They already established these two as well defined characters that make mistakes but are willing to get shit done for their friends by any means. The dialogue above is when Barney is thinking about joining the girl oriented scouts even when he’s considered a boy scout, wondering where does he want to belong. Jo gives him reassurance that she herself felt the same and just wants Barney to assert himself with what he wants to be like she did. And when he does later on, he’s accepted without any forced gratification and the writers gracefully accommodate this to not only make him (now “them”) a good addition to the story’s world, but a welcoming new perspective.

The representation is therefore earned, not just shown off

Now I’d talk further on other characters like Lars, but that would be singing the same beats as my previous piece on world building and would spoil notes on the final 2 parts I’m working on now. Instead, the gems are another reason why the rep-pres-sen-tation in SU is nothing but small fractured penny in the gold mine that is anything else going on, with fusion diminishing the relationship representation of Steven U; however you may see it. Now excuse me… this is the hardest part of my job.

Criticizing love

Garnet is not a good embodiment of Ruby and Sapphire’s love; Ruby and Sapphire is. I would love to see Ruby and Sapphire being together and showing me why they decided to elope, but I can’t because Garnet is a curtain that metaphorically and literally covers said love from having anything more to say than “HELL YEAH WE LOVE EACH OTHER!”. You could say ‘Keystone Motel’offered some adversity for the two, but knowing Steven U, it didn’t feel like much beyond me knowing they’re getting back together in the end because they love each other and they just go back to being Garnet because she’s the personification of their love and such.

Fusion is something I have a disdain for now because they’re exchanging two characters’ development of united growth for basically an entirely new/different character, that don’t have much screen time or development anyways (vice versa in Flourite’s case). You could say ‘Know your Fusion’ presented an evolution for Smokey Quartz, among the other known fusions, to being more than a versatile fighter, but not really no. We were already aware that Steven and Amethyst were acknowledged sad sacks before they fused, so what else does this fusion offer differently than in their ability? As for Sardonyx, she hasn’t changed from her first cameo awhile back and her vanity was the only thing that made her stand out in said episode. All in all, fusion doesn’t reflect a relationship, no matter how hard Rebecca Suge Knight is saying otherwise, it reflects an aftermath; one that’s in and out as a firework. This and up ‘til now, the real couples we see are pretty general or under the rug. To show how the most mentioned and presented couple in the series, RubyXSapphire, has continuously got the shaft, I present the one dynamic you’d least expect: A boy and his stuffed toy.

My personally favorite example so far.

Calvin and Hobbes is a series about boy Calvin and his stuffed tiger Hobbes that comes to life through Calvin’s imagination. Reality is like Garnet in this case, where it’s just Calvin having his stuffed animal around to get into zany hijinks like any other kid his age. Then again, the imagination or the living Hobbes is whom is given more of a focus, allowing their dynamic to bloom in a way that wouldn’t be understood if we just saw Calvin just talking to his toy the whole time. It makes their bond feel real and that’s what RubyxSapphire should be, giving them the floor in a way that adds up to Garnet’s eventual debut. “But Monkey Network, what about ‘The Answer’?” The Answer is an episode that, while sweet and good looking, literally danced over much necessary development in favor of only showing us how they eventually stuck to being Garnet forever. Not saying Garnet doesn’t have any character herself, but her integral backstory was/is one of the most beloved and talked about in terms of relationships, yet little has actually been given to us beyond face value and basic understanding and the writers have generally avoid pressing this any further. In a way, that episode diminishes the representation of real queer relationships, bogging it down to early Disney romances like Snow White’s, and practically blindfolds us about what we want to see vs what we should be seeing.

And I already got cute girls not kissing last year. It’s the current fucking year

I would talk about all the other canonning “ships” but nothing comes to mind other than the gems are getting along better than before, Mystery Girl is still fine as fuck, Steven and Connie are bound to elope since it’s been presented since the beginning, Lapis and Peridot get along as college roommates, Lapis might still have issues after Malachite happened, Jasper regrets nothing, Topaz sounds cool from the little we got of them, and everything has amounts to having a sob story and/or a recollection of thoughts just to say “Hey, we’re good together”. They implicitly share infatuation and good vibes to each other, but nothing to say their themes of LGBT, relationships, and characterization are groundbreaking. The latter I’ll get to next time. I mean anybody can put effort into writing a genuine romance novel, though it takes more effort to push the romance to challenging means without leaving skeptics at the door, something Sugar has been very casual about and is starting to openly show in the show. That and tears. Because you know what they say, open emotions are better than emotional maturity. Isn’t that right, TV?

Don’t get me wrong. Rebecca Sugarbark is out here doing her darndest as…

CARTOON. NETWORK’S. FIRST. FEMALE. ANIMATED. SERIES. CREATOR!

and when she does themes right, the show provides some good things to think about. But when she muddles them up or casually throws them in, especially when these themes come from the different aspects of what makes a person different yet real, it is unforgivable. And when people of all ages are watching this, thinking with their living ideologies about what could be used to think differently? This makes for a very risky tightrope that can lead to either people taking it appropriately or blindly, good and bad alike. I can only hope that as the show goes on, there are less assumptions and implications from both the show and the audience alike and more assertions and certainty that elements like representation of any kind are brought to a more applied approach than a glanced approach.

AND STEVEN - POINT #5:

What makes a great character? Charm? Growth? Badassery? Nah, it’s the struggle son. To cheaply quote Pixar: “You admire a character more for trying more than for their successes.” And while Steven does try, does he really fail? Let’s look back. He has three skillful and powerful guardians that care for him. He has a father who is filthy rich (’member that). He has a sweet ass pad. Everyone that knows him likes/respects him. He has powers retained from his mother. He has a lion for a pet. He redeemed/helped three of what were once his enemies. He has a best friend that joins in the action with a sword. He clearly has the capable knowledge of reaching out to anyone. He’s outdone death more than once. He’s practically invulnerable (see “Steven vs. Amethyst”). Everyone that doesn’t like him could eventually see his way with good convincing and a middle road to come to (except Kevin). While there are things he needs to do and characters that’ll he have to confront sooner or later, I’ve started to think less of how he’ll succeed and more of when he’ll succeed. I’m thinking less of who he is and more of what he is. Here’s what I mean…

I don’t see Star Butterfly as an upbeat, independent, cocky, and enduring magical princess who loves rainbows and puppies and struggles to balance fun, romance, and responsibility in one go. I see an up and coming teenage princess that’ll defeat all the evil, hook up with her friend Marco, and claim the title of Mewni’s Queen while doing it all her way.

And I don’t see the JoJo bloodline as a group of distinct protagonists that have their own goals and passions all the while seeking justice against the evil that surrounds them. I see the main characters of 8 different parts that have the ability to defeat the final enemy at the end.

It’s the “Man of Steel” effect; when you do nothing but show how Steven is becoming like or better than Rose, it takes away from letting Steven see who he really is and wants to be. Season one did Steven good (begrudging to say, I know) where he was devious, self-centered, and oblivious but basically was a goofball kid with a good heart; like Ash Williams from Evil Dead. Halfway in and they basically took that away in favor of him just being the pacifistic hippie boy scout that doesn’t want to do wrong or hurt anybody and wants to be a better version of his mama and… and…zzzzzzz. Yeah, I don’t know how to put this, but Steven is now as good of a main character as a sheet of paper. Like, on paper he had potential, but as paper he’s pretty ineffective.

Hell, even paper can show you wonders

“But Monkey Network, he’s a character that goes through many hardships and has a lot on his mind and is going through plenty like most people.” Yes he is, but he’s really done nothing to better himself. “Mindful Education” brings this up, but immediately sweeps it clean in favor of a song about trauma (ironic) and giving Connie more of the floor. And “Storm in the Room” perfectly captures how flat his guilt complex really is…

This episode could’ve given Steven a better perspective on what he wants to be, how he should see Rose, and how things in his life will change from that point on. No, it amounted to saying Rose wasn’t in the wrong for anything (clearly a lie) and Steven being basically gaslighted to believe that he’ll be around to fix what she didn’t do herself, never stating how he should go about doing so. He has guilt and unsure regrets, and yet now nothing feels like things for him are getting any better through his efforts. Knowing that he’s basically Jesus, I am stunned I don’t see him curing every ill-ridden human on the planet and is instead trying to make peace with everything that wants him dead. Also, if I wanted a show that mirrors the possible regret and turmoil I force myself to suffer with everyday, weed and a literal mirror would create a similar effect. And all this leads to–

“But Monkey Network, he’s at least a pacifist who tries. He only wants to share peace and enlightenment to everyone he meets and that includes those who are trying to defeat them.” True, but there is something called “being pushed to a limit”. Yeah I see Steven stand up for himself while choosing not to hit anybody, but there are some people that don’t deserve anything but a good blow to the face. We see Steven get angry and mean, but has he really been pushed to a limit?

Mob Psycho 100 (Ep. 3) A limit that, while possessing regretting, let’s one know they can be a force to be reckoned with?

Trigun: Badlands Rumble A limit that forces them to take immense action without breaking their code of pacifistic honor?

I mean there’s being a pacifist, and there’s being an peaceful spouting wimp I can whup easily before somebody beats me up to stop it. The point of having pacifism in a show is the counterpoint where that ideology’s being tested and momentous reactions result from it. Yeah, he showed sheer ire towards Kevin in that one episode but that was it, and that was a one off excursion with the only irredeemable character in the series. Now I know violence is not always the answer and this isn’t suppose to be a violent show, whatever, but violence is present more than enough times in this show. So I must topically ask, what was stopping Steven from five knuckle shuffling Aquamarine when he clearly had the chance to, freeing his friends and getting the chance to escape their clutches? There’s the peaceful route, and there’s showing us nothing.

Boy must have a weak ass jab

“But Monkey Network, he has development and growth with this being a coming-of-age story.” True dat, but to an extent. I’ve noticed that when it comes to Steven Universe’s development, everyone is given development with Steven tagging behind. Connie, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, Lars, you see them learning and growing on the front lines, but Steven’s been kinda consistent wouldn’t you say? I mean, he does grow in seeing many different perspectives, but does he really grow with the said varied perspectives or does he just acknowledge them while doing his usual helping routine to try making things better? You know who is a better main character than Steven? Well….

You could get with this^Or you could get with thatv

Wouldn’t you agree? They’re forced to look out of their comfort zone, they make mistakes but see to getting back up, they grow to understand how this new world works and take it to heart, they’re not mopey little shits and constantly take initiative, still having a lot to learn, and I find their voices less annoying than Steven’s. Okay, that last part is a preference but still.

I’ll say Steven’s a fine protagonist, but he’s a boring protagonist to sum it up. Nothing about him makes me want to care anymore and while I look towards new episodes, all I can do now is tolerate him. They could do better with season 5 upping the ante, but at this point I’m more invested in the world of Steven Universe than Steven himself, and that is sad. You know your cartoon is crumbling where your world generally revolves around the main character and said MAIN CHARACTER is whack! Rebecca Sugar Schnapps and her crew just better git good this season; because it can look good and sound good as long as it wants, but it needs to feel good to be a real show, you feel me?

And that’s my Troof. The whole and nothing but. Thank you <3 Roy M.

[cwdcshows]

Batwoman - S1 E1 - Pilot

Alright, now or never.... Here we go..... Wait, how the fuck old is Batman in the present day, that he was already active when Kate was a kid?  So Gotham is so dependent on Batman that they're so desperate to fill the void when he's no longer around (because fuck Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl or the Birds of Prey) that they'd rather have a private security firm instead of, I don't know, making the police department in Gotham better?  How is private security supposed to be any better or less susceptible to corruption, like the GCPD is supposed to be?  A private entity is literally in it for the money, unless it's inexplicably "not-for-profit" - which I suppose it might have to be, since otherwise where would the funding come from?  Kate just says her dad started a private firm, not that he's generously financing free access to such security, but even if he were, what would make his agents immune for the same problems the actual authorities are plagued with in Gotham?  Bruce had any number of factors going in his favor, starting with the fact that he had more money than God, so what could a criminal offer him that didn't already have or could get if he wanted it; not to mention the whole morality thing, combined with the concealed identity, meaning he was literally beyond approach - if you can't be found, no one can offer you a bribe to look the other way.  They also don't know how to find those you love in order to use them as leverage; which was a major reason he concealed his identity.

"Batman gave up on us." Fuck you, you ungrateful bastards.  Either he's dead, which all things considered I kind of hope he is, because if nothing else the Birds of Prey series from 17 years ago (dear God, it's been 17 years??) already used the idea of Batman simply walking away from Gotham.  But even if he didn't, this shit hole city can't seem to just appreciate of whatever strides he made during the time he was active, that he has to get dragged for "abandoning them;" because they apparently can't go unsupervised and everything went to the hell moment he turned his back. If I were Batman, assuming he's not dead, I'd show up at this ceremony just to be like, "Yeah, let me help turn that off - that signal's not a right, it's a privilege; and you guys abused it." And then just slow walk through the crowd, flipping everybody off. "Kate.  It's Mary....Your step-sister?" "Mary, our parents have been married for over a decade.  I know who you are." But the audience doesn't and the writers don't know how to convey things to the audience through anything less than heavy handed expositional dialog, because they think we have the attention span of a two year old.   Wait, what?  You had to travel the fucking world, training with all sort of combat and survival specialists in order to join the private security agency your own fucking father owns and commands?  I mean, I get wanting to avoid accusations of nepotism, but seriously, do all the Crows agents go through that sort of preparation?  Because that seems kind of extreme for such a niche job.  Especially seeing how easily all of those Crows agents get their asses handed to them by seemingly run of the mill street thugs; including the top agent who as it turns out is Kate's old flame.  So a lot of fucking good their training was. Where exactly was she training, that she's already back in Gotham before her father is finished with the briefing about Sophie's capture?   Also, how is surveillance "non-existent"?  I know they took out the cameras focused on the event, which a)how, but more important, there was nothing, no surveillance of any kind in or around the area?  I feel like that should have warranted a stronger response from the head of a fucking citywide security firm so bent on filling Batman's shoes. I'm genuinely curious which "Academy" Sophie and Kate were attending.  I know in the comics they were actually in the army, and the guy who finds them is wearing fatigues, but is this supposed to actually be the military?  Is it the Crows?  Something else?  Don't Ask, Don't Tell was repealed in 2010 and effective since 2011 - which, wow, I can't believe it's been nearly a decade already - so are we to believe that this flashback is taking place more than 10 years ago?  Or is it's a general fraternization thing they're taking issue with? Come on, you can't have it both ways; you can't suggest that Bruce played the billionaire playboy routine to the hilt so much that Kate's dad thinks he a complete disgrace; yet such an integral businessman that his absence lead to the collapse of Wayne Enterprises and its corporate headquarters in Gotham shuttering its doors. Bruce had his mother's peals framed in his office?  That's just weird. So the building is boarded up, the furniture is covered; yet they have a full time security guard working out of a high tech office with a retinal scan - but just the one guy, working in the city that's become a total hell hole since Batman disappeared; because apparently it's vital to look out for squatters and watch the furniture collect dust, but not so important as to commit more than one person to do it at a time..... Why the fuck would any password at Wayne Enterprises be just "Alfred"?  It might as well be fucking Guest.

Why does a place that's literally boarded its doors have access to anything of value to this case, that the Crows don't have access to?  Didn't the one Crows agent say surveillance was "non-existent"?  What sort of useless security firm wouldn't try to find anyone else's surveillance to supplement their own in a situation like this? .....What???  There's a woman from the Crows missing, a woman Kate is known to have a past with (especially by Mary.  You know, her step-sister) and they decide to throw Kate a surprise party. Kate, the woman who was God only knows where until she heard about Sophie being taken hostage; and only came back to Gotham when she did because of that? Do people under 40 still keep boxes of photos, let alone dirty photos that were ostensibly more than ten years ago? How was Kate not qualified for the Crows?  She lasted at least as long and arguably longer than all of the other Crane operatives. That's a lame-ass locking/unlocking mechanism to access your secret vigilante auxiliary lair....  Like that's something the cleaning staff could accidentally trip.

Of all the cases, Bruce had a....what is it....murder board?  Case board?  Whatever.  All about the accident the accident with Kate's mom and sister? No. Dear God, if crime is that bad in Gotham that you need that kind of security at an outdoor fucking movie, just move.  Leave and burn the city on the ground. A bigger issue I have with this scene is the scope relative to everything else.  I've actually helped organize a few outdoor movies for my hometown of about 7000+ people.  We were lucky to get 20 people to come out for it, but the real point is that this looks like an event being put on in a relatively small to medium sized town; hell, they mentioned earlier that the mayor had some kind of say in whether or not it was happening.  Glossing over yet another example of how bad things are if there's concern about allowing a moderately size public function to go on outdoors at night.  This sort of an event looks like it should be a blip on the radar in a sprawling city like Gotham.  It's basically meant to be DC's answer to New  York City.  There should be 5-10 other things of equal importance or public interest going on at the same time; and probably a few other things of a higher profile than people watching Grease 2 in the park. "I don't like that building.  Who's covering it?" "Dobson, sir." "And no one else?" "No, sir." "I'm sure one person in an entire open structure I have tactical concerns about will perfectly fine patrolling that space alone.  It's not like we're under threat of attack by an enemy we've recently encountered who's kicked the ass of several of our agents simultaneously and took one of them hostage.  And we've thoroughly vetted Dobson, right?" "Were you saying something, sir?" "What?  Oh, no.  Just looking forward to seeing Michelle Pfiefer in tonight's movie.  I need a c-o-o-l r-i-d-e-r....."

The Crows security sucks.  Gotham would probably safe under the protection of Paul Blart. That seems to have taken zero effort to tailor Bruce's custom made Batman suit to fit Kate; and my only assumption is that Bruce is actually very petite. Oh my God, Alice is Kate's sister? Whoever could have seen that coming..... :|