#i feel like some vaguely human shaped alien or something

[canceriancryptid]

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wow so apparently 30 tags is the limit, that's cool, not rereading any of that shit, the void can have it and my run on sentences

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

In what ways would you change Yuu (or would you get rid of them entirely)? The writing feels inconsistent on their place/importance. If they were just a conduit for the player to watch the events unfold that's one thing but in another story they are an active player.

I'd personally play into the beastamer aspect more. They are supposedly the reason why Ace, Deuce, and Grim were able to work together thus I'd want them to have more agency in making plans, giving orders, etc. Rook calls them Trickster but in what way (lol). The vagueness of being a self insert pains me. I'd also want to give them some magically infused weapon (or has a magestone embedded) just so they aren't fodder or sideline material.

Mmm… As much as I dislike the blank slate self-insertiness of Yuu (I’d prefer to read about an actually realized character), I wouldn’t want to get rid of them altogether. I think they’re important for the role they serve in the narrative even if in execution is inconsistent and not done well.

The problem with “changing” Yuu is that there has to be a certain level of ambiguity due to the design of the game. You cannot give them too much personality or you risk alienating the audience that likes to project or self-insert. There’s also a limit to how much uniqueness a mobile game can lend its players characters; the format isn’t exactly known for having super in-depth player arcs, it’s known for their colorful casts of rollable characters. The devs have to toe that line carefully, not to mention juggle Yuu’s participation with letting the other characters shine. It is for this reason that I won’t be doing a total overhaul of Yuu or just deciding “give them a personality!” as what I’d change about them. Rather, I’ll be proposing alterations while thinking like a dev (ie preserving the current story and as much of the self-insertiness as I can while also trying to give Yuu more to do/say).

Now Yuu, being the outsider to this world, is perfectly poised to have others dump exposition on them. This serves the dual purpose of being able to diegetically explain things to the player. (We wouldn’t get this advantage if the player character was changed to be like… a Twisted Wonderland resident; you could explain some magic things to a layman, but a resident wouldn’t need more common knowledge like country names exposited to them. Were this the case, we’d need an additional excuse for Crowley to take in a native.) It’s also convenient to have them be the “eyes” for the player to experience the world through, since Yuu is able to conveniently be present for most major main story events. It essentially makes them a human-shaped video camera.

I’ve often heard people suggest that if we need a POV character, why not go with Grim since he basically serves the same purpose now anyway. My answer to that is: Grim is also an arrogant asshole who picks fights, just the same as any other NRC student. If Grim were the player character, he wouldn’t be contributing much or helping to guide the other students learn to get along. We need Yuu here to be that driving force for change because Grim simply isn’t capable of it when he’s instigating himself half of the time.

A smaller thing about Yuu that I love is the idea of them being the school photographer! (This is something that is shown in the second anniversary animated video too!) It gives us context for the cards we roll and it implies that Yuu is the one documenting these precious memories. I want Yuu to stay if only for this reason.

Personally, I wouldn’t make Yuu a combatant. This is antithetical to their role and I feel would instead work against them (or at least create a scenario where Yuu has to have some level of battle prowess; this impedes on the self-insert nature of them). Sticking a magic item in their hand makes little difference since they most likely wouldn’t know how to handle it in the moment. (Nor would a magicless human even be able to use some of them; for example, a magestone is completely useless to them.) A magicless human with no combat experience is just another liability to account for, not to mention it actively puts them in harm’s way. It might be cool in theory, but I think in practice it goes against the very concept of Yuu. They’re meant to be here to show that there is “another way” to the NRC students—that violence doesn’t solve all your problems, proof that you don’t need to be a powerful being to “change” others or the world around them. They’re supposed to be underestimated and not seen as much of a “real” fighter, and they’re supposed to prove those notions wrong by demonstrating their worth via other avenues. In this “the weak obey the strong” school, Yuu has to be the one to show them that strength comes in forms that are NOT magic power or battle prowess.

I feel that Yuu works best on the sidelines as a supporter and strategist. Strategy is, after all, half of the battle, and it’s a part that people tend to overlook in favor of the flashier fighters. But strategy is crucial and it can turn the tide against a formidable foe (as we see in the prologue)!! I think this is something the NRC students need to be made more aware of too, so Yuu should stay as the strategist; they just have to be given more opportunities to show off those skills!

With all of that being said, here is what I would change about Yuu:

Drop the beast tamer thing. It gets mentioned prominently like once in the prologue and then never becomes truly relevant. Maybe it’ll become important when it comes to taking down OB Grim, but that will be SO late in the main story that the payoff doesn’t seem worth it. There are no examples of Yuu’s beast taming skills ever being used in the main story, so the whole “oh you have the makings of a beast tamer” thing is so useless. If you really want to keep it, then let Yuu’s innate talent/skills for beast taming help them out at least once per main story book. This means I’d want to see instances of Yuu getting other creatures (ie not just Grim) to help them out.

Allow Yuu the agency to act on their own when it comes to finding a way back to their own world. Going home is so often relegated to a single line or a few sentences and then not addressed again until next book. Have Yuu take initiative instead of waiting around for updates from Crowley. They should go out and ask questions, investigate on their own, etc. Maybe have them get involved in each book’s conflict because they happen to get mixed up in it while conducting research instead of being TOLD to go and fix a problem. Book 6 marks the only real time I can think of Yuu making a drastic decision against Crowley’s advice. It puts them at great risk, and that’s something they’re willing to take for the sake of saving their friends. We need more moments like this throughout the rest of the story. However, Yuu won’t be allowed to do whatever they want unrestricted because 1) it falls out of the scope of a mobile game title and 2) we want to largely retain the capacity to self-insert. So when I say give Yuu more agency to act, I mean it ONLY in the sense of being more proactive in their efforts to get home.

Add a short comment or two from other characters depending on which dialogue options are picked for Yuu. It would be too ambitious to incorporate a full-on branching storyline or strong “choose your own adventure” elements, but at least have the other characters consistently comment on whatever brief dialogue option Yuu has rather than ignoring them 90% of the time. This wouldn’t alter the story in any way but it sure would be nice to have a little more flavor text and more of Yuu actually being acknowledged as present.

Yuu should fully commit to being a planner and strategist. We get to see this aspect of Yuu like once or twice in the prologue (when they tell Grim where to spit fire at the ghosts/planning how to beat the Phantom in the mines) and then are left to extrapolate this to the rest of the game. Maybe you can argue they figured out Azul’s scheme in book 3 too, but this isn’t good enough. If you’re going to set up the idea, then have consistent segments in each book that reinforces that idea. Have Yuu brainstorm ways to jailbreak in book 4, have Yuu be perceptive enough to notice that Malleus isn’t feeling great in book 7 (only for Malleus to brush them off/insist he has a solution), etc.

Have a short story segment that explains how or why Yuu earns their nickname “Trickster” from Rook. We got this with Floyd, so the other known nicknamer should reveal this, especially since the name “Trickster” implies intelligence and cunning. Yuu should have an opportunity to demonstrate this (in book 5 maybe?), which earns them Rook’s respect and the new title. This should also be informed by other parts where Yuu shows how smart they can be.

More time bonding with Grim. I say Grim specifically because I commonly see him as a hated character in part because of how he “steals lines/time” away from Yuu. (Adeuce and Malleus are fine as they are because the former already stick up for/help Yuu out and the latter is meant to stay mysterious until late in the main story.) This means that if you don’t already like Grim, the whole “Yuu chases them to Styx HQ to save Grim” plot point in book 6 rings hollow. To truly build a bond with Grim, please give us moments prior to book 6 that show how much they care for one another and are linked to each other as partners. Times when Grim causes inconveniences for Yuu don’t count. Give me instances of them cuddling at night or talking to each other about their hopes and dreams or whatever. This would establish the value that Grim sees in Yuu, as well as the value that Yuu sees in Grim. It makes it more believable that Grim would cry when he’s alone or realizes he hurt his partner, and that Yuu would defy the headmaster’s advice and put themselves at risk to save Grim.

Better incorporate the ghost camera and its usage in the main story. The ghost camera provides an in-universe explanation for gaming meta (ie the card illustrations); in the main story, it’s hardly ever mentioned save for its introduction in the prologue and when Yuu takes a picture of Mickey with it. What should happen instead is Yuu will take a picture of the characters involved in that chapter. This way, it’s a physical reminder of the time everyone spent together and the bonds they’ve developed. It further strengthens the idea of the students learning to get along and Yuu being there to facilitate that while also keeping the ghost camera relevant.

More time where Yuu actually bonds with/“changes” the other characters. One huge gripe I have with the main story is that we’re TOLD that Yuu’s presence changes and improves the boys for the better, that they teach them how to get along. Very little of the actual main story supports this (outside of the prologue). At best, Yuu has a very short chat with some of the OB boys at the end of their respective book. Yuu should have a little more time in this regard. I don’t know, maybe Idia is still struggling to socialize when he comes over to play video games at Ramshackle so Yuu has to gently encourage him to give it a try or says something to help include him in the conversation. Little things like that! Keep the strong interactions the other characters have in changing the OB boys (like Trey being the one to rush to Riddle’s side, the twins teasing Azul, etc.), but have Yuu help facilitate them opening up emotionally and being vulnerable with one another.

This last point is debatable (I keep changing my mind about it), but possibly make a point of showing how Yuu is adjusting to this new world. This honestly might mess with the self-insert aspect (which is why I debated to leave this out), but I also feel like it might be interesting to reinforce Yuu’s desire to go home h demonstrating homesickness or issues with settling into Twisted Wonderland.

To summarize, the changes I’d make largely involve making TWST commit to briefly mentioned details (that they largely don’t follow through on) and making Yuu actually do a little more to warrant crediting them with resolving issues + fostering friendships. A lot of the problems that exist now are due to promising a lot but then poorly executing on what was promised.

[bump1nthen1ght]

A Very Monstrous Kinktober (2024) Day 28 - Sex Pollen

Kink: Sex Pollen

Pairing: F!Reader x F!Plant Monster

Other Kinks: Light Bondage, Slight Sweat Kink

Warnings: Dubious Consent

Word Count: 1457 words

Kinktober Masterlist

Sometimes, curiosity really does kill the cat.

That’s the last coherent thought you had when you stumbled onto the bush, falling to the ground as plumes of alien pollen quickly fill the air around you. Your panic makes you take in deep heaving breaths, practically snorting the foreign contaminant like a drug.That’s probably why they recommended wearing the gas mask at all times, even if that atmosphere on this planet was comparable to your own.

Fuck, fuck!

Maybe it’s just placebo, but already your body temperature has gone up, your heart rate increasing, more and more of the pollen stuffing up your nose. You have the wherewithal to shove your shirt collar over your face, but not before your legs give out from under you.

You lie flat on the ground, ensconced in ankle-height vegetation as the yellow dust settles onto your clothes, coating you like powdered sugar. Your vision is starting to haze, your body in an absolute panic as it tries to move, but can’t. Your muscles feel sluggish and heavy, some kind of burning sensation under the skin sapping all your energy.

It’s so….hot.

The panic begins to slip away. You’re still hot, your heart still beats, but it’s more…pleasant. It sends goosebumps down your spine, has your body relaxing and legs spreading open. Something long and slippery rubs at your thigh and you don’t even react, just sink into the touch.

“Well, aren’t you a cutie?”

Something in the shape of a hand grips your jaw, breath exhaling across your lips as your eyes struggle to catch focus.

The pollen must be a hallucinogenic, because your eyes swear there’s a woman on top of you. You can’t see her that well, vision still spotted and blurry, but her curvaceous form is unmistakable.

Your mouth is open, words dead in your mouth, only a faltered breath coming out. Something nudges against the crotch of your pants and makes your whole body flinch. Woah, since when have you been so sensitive?

“It must be my lucky day.” The seductive female voice purrs in your ear, chases away your anxiety as more and more tendrils wrap around your arms and legs, pulling you to lie spread eagle. You still struggle to see in her entirety, even when she straddles your waist. “I snared such an adorable little thing in my trap.”

The vines constrict, shooting an aching feeling straight down to your core. You become aware of just how wet you are, the center of your panties soaked through and sticking to your khakis. Your thighs try to close and rub together, provide some friction, but only makes the vines tighten. A keening whine comes from the back of your throat, your hips canting upward.

“So receptive already.” The figure lets out an airy chuckle. “You didn’t huff that much darling.”

The hand moves up the side of your face, the backs of knuckles brushing along your jaw. Your vision has begun to clear up, the vague shapes of a face registering in your mind. Just certainly not a human face.

The creature’s ‘skin’ is a light shade of green, her lips painted a sultry red, less like lipstick and more like a warning sign for wayward bugs. Something brushes against the side of your neck, hanging of her head like hair, but feeling far more like the leaves of weeping willow.

You’re more coherent mind would be fascinated, asking a billion questions about this new creature, about this new species you just discovered. But your drugged mind is a little more focused on one thing, and it's the vines currently trying to pry open your pants.

“A-ah!” something jolts up your stomach when a bold vine sneaks down the crotch of your underwear, slotting itself between your pussy lips. It writhes against your cunt like a massager, already drenched in your slick. Your hips roll against the pressure, your clit throbbing against it.

“Hmmm.” The creature licks her lips, revealing a long and ribbed purple tongue. The thought of that on you makes your thighs clenched, legs hugging the side of the vine like it’s a stripper pole. “You taste good.” The creature hums, licking a stripe up the side of your face. The entanglements of vines shudder around you, the connected whole of this creatures body soaking up every inch of you. Something not too different from a hand grabs at the bottom of your shirt, forcing it past your sports bra so more vines can encircle your waist. The creature moves her face down from yours to your chest, nostrils flaring as she takes a deep whiff of your pheromones. “So good.” She whispers to herself, tongueing at the sides of your bra. It’s the most soaked from your hike through the forest, the salty sweat clinging the fabric to your sides.

After she’s sucked on the fabric long enough, the creature pushes up the bra, mouth latching onto your perked nipples and swirling her tongue around. Like a kid in a candy shop, she indulges in her treat, more vines joining to grab at your other one.

“Mmmph.” The creature coos, nuzzling her face into your boobs. Nails dig into the fatty flesh, making you jolt and forcing your hips against the vines. Another shock travels up your core, fresh slick gushing from your cunt. You don’t think you ever been this wet in your entire life.

The creatures licks down and down your stomach, her eyes going cross as she tastes more and more of you. Once she reaches your mound she nuzzles into your pubic hair, taking a deep whiff before the vine on your pussy movies out of the way. All of the vines shudder, wrapping tight around your extremities and pulling you open.

“Eek!” You yelp when her hand pushes back at your labial hood, covetous eyes admiring your bulging clit. That swirling tongue taps at it, rewarded by another flood of your juices.

“All for me.” The creature purrs, diving tongue first into your pussy, only focused on getting more of the taste in her mouth.

“O-ohhh.” Your mouth hangs open, breaths heavy and panting as the alien feasts on your cunt. Those ribbed sides do just as intended, stimulating your gummy walls and making you gush onto her jaw. It feels like she’s setting off firecrackers in your belly, writhing that long tongue and trying to find your g-spot.

“Oh, fuck!” Your hips roll onto her face, your clit nudging right against her nose. You can feel her lips curling up into a smirk. Seems she found it.

Her tongue is just a prehensile as her vines, pressing hard onto the sensitive spot, curling backwards and making your vision go spotty. Vines curl around your tits, pressing them together, forcing your sweat to pool at the valley in between. Like snakes they slither in between, constricting and teasing your areolas. Your body feels like it’s melting, the heat slowly cooking your brain, a profound ache settling deep in your stomach. God, why does it feel so wonderful?

“Ah-ah-ah!” You desperately grind against her tongue, the creature and her vines letting you. She seems to enjoy watching you succumb to her trap, watch you come undone. Her nostrils flare against your pussy lips, tongue now drawing shapes onto your g-spot.

You’re so desperately close, the precipice of an explosive orgasm robbing you of words and coherent thought. The creature’s keen senses make her aware of it before you do, vines pulling taut and forcing your limbs to stay rigid, offering no escape from the overwhelming feeling. You’ll come on her tongue, that she is sure of.

“I-” You slur, the needed vocabulary robbed from your drunken mind. Vines tug at your perked nipples, make every hair on your body stand on end.

Cum.

Something whispers in the back of your mind, too delirious to realize it’s not your inner monologue but her, this fascinating creature. Another ability to add to the research log.

“Fuck!” Everything convulses when your climax hits, the sudden spray of your cum on the creature’s tongue making her wiggle with joy. You’ve never squirted before, but it seems this planet is introducing you to a lot of new experiences. The creature nuzzles her face into your pussy, coating her face in your juices, lapping at your spent hole like she’s in the desert and you’re her oasis.

Your senses return to you, but slowly. You vaguely recall the creature sidling up to your side, soft curves and vines wrapping you in an even softer embrace. Hands rub at your scalp, plush lips kissing the sude of your face. The pollen’s effects have weakened, but you’re still so hot.

“You’re all mine.”

[saiintvalentiine]

could i request some kind of wato magical girl* au?

this is a mix of a whole bunch of magical girl stuff, though notably its heavily inspired by tokyo mew mew (animal ears + tails, aliens). i also love the pissed off magical girl trope lol...... i hope you enjoy!

Word count: 583

This job fucking blows. Wato has missed three dates, four parties, and a whole graduation ceremony in the last month alone because of this magical girl crap. Yes, the wand is kind of sick and lets her blast aliens and demons into smithereens, but her social life is in shambles. All this trouble because some stupid rock on a ring chose her or some vague, mystical bullshit like that.

Therefore, this job fucking blows.

She’s just managed to apprehend the shithead alien that started this whole thing in the first place. It’s a vaguely human shaped mass of color, blinking in and out of sight as she charges up her wand again.

“Get the fuck off my planet!” she yells, baring her teeth at it behind her porcelain wolf mask. It’s three am. She’s got a contract for the actual job that pays her bills at eight. Something in her compels her to raise her wand and start bashing it onto the alien’s “head”, divine light radiating from it in waves. “Go! Away! Go! Away!”

The alien wails. Multicolor maybe-blood splatters onto her skirt and boots, dark green with pink detailing. The outfit is, blessedly, made by magic, meaning she doesn’t have to clean it every time she gets weird alien goop on her. The wolf tail and ears are a nice bonus too, though the more animalistic habits these transformations bring aren’t as appreciated. She growled at her coworker the other day because he disagreed with her.

“Green, cut it out.”

It’s Orange. Orange is the other magical girl around these parts, outfit and wand made up of a gold and orange color scheme that contrasts nicely with Wato’s own green and pink. Orange lands nearby, skirts flaring elegantly, cat tail swaying.

“Can you wrangle this thing?” Wato complains, pausing her assault. The alien lays in a limp, sputtering puddle on the floor.

“You turned it into mush,” Orange holds her wand out and swirls it in the air. A portal opens up beneath the alien, and it falls through into a staticky world that disappears in a blink.

Orange can teleport the aliens back to their home planets. Wato can beat them into submission. There might be any other number of gemstones out there that do even more than that, but Wato and Orange have made it work so far on their own.

“I can’t believe that took so long,” Wato sighs and puts a hand on her hip. Orange’s white and gold cat mask seems to laugh at her. “I hate this.”

“Well Green,” Orange says, but doesn’t finish the thought. Well indeed.

“See ya next time,” Wato says with a wave.

“See ya.”

Getting home feels like everything Wato could’ve dreamed of. Once all the magic has peeled away and it’s just Wato, alone in the deep night silence, they feel better. They manage to catch a few hours of shut eye, though they’re almost late to their work event.

Ken is there already when Wato arrives. She looks worse for wear, like she didn’t sleep at all, dark hair mussed up and eyes at a perpetual half-mast.

“Hey man, you alright?” Wato asks as they jog up to him, their heavy camera bag causing them to slant to one side.

“Had some pretty bad insomnia last night,” Ken says, yawning loudly. “Let’s grab some coffee?”

“Yeah, we’ve got a couple minutes before we gotta get set up.”

Insomnia. How Wato wishes their problems were as mundane as insomnia.

[tyrantisterror]

I'm thinking about maybe trying to write a first draft of The Night the Stars Went Out this month - specifically as a stageplay rather than a novella, which made me think about how to structure it so it could theoretically be performed in, like, a black box theater with minimal sets and a cast of, like, six or seven actors tops.

BUT ALSO, simultaneously, how I could then adapt that stageplay to a stop motion movie, since I haven't made one of those in like... over ten years. I wanna do stop motion again!

So I did some more experimental sketches of Paris (site), some with the intent of how to translate her to a human costume, and some with a stop motion puppet in mind. I also tried to give her an equivalent of those weird tubes Xenomorphs have on their backs just to see how it'd look - I'm probably going to cut them, though, working those weird tubes/wings just feels like a needless pain in the ass.

I then tried to design the creature she'd chest-burst out of at the beginning of the play - something big and monstrous that could ultimately work as a simple puppet given its small role in the play, but still look sufficiently alien in a 1960's creature feature way. Very late into it I had the idea that the hatch built into its humps for Paris to burst out of could be shaped vaguely like a clamshell, and thus Paris's entrance into the show could homage the Birth of Venus in a twisted way.

I also wanted to figure out what kind of flora we could put on the scenes set on the surface of the alien planet to match the wild-ness of the two aliens fauna on display - I decided all the plants should look like the psychosexual nightmares of a person who spent far too long looking at anatomy textbooks, as H.R. Giger would have wanted.

Finally, I tried to figure out what faceplates a Paris puppet would need. She doesn't need to do lip synch, but some basic expressions would be required, as would a few to transition from her normal face to her "I'm going to bite your head off" monster mouth.

[shdo-xplosion]

Hi Dove❤️ welcome to tumblr!! For your event, I’d love to read aizawa and prompt 7🖤

eeeeeeek thank you! this is one of my favorite prompts with one of my favorite characters! and i got VERY carried away with it. oopsie!

7. 🖤 MONSTERFUCKING • s. aizawa

alien!aizawa, size difference, humanoid features but still monsterfucking, womb-fucking, belly bulge, oviposition, drugs (his alien spit has a sedative in it or something)

When you’d agreed to be part of the research group, this is not what you had in mind. Blood tests? Sure. New drugs to be a guinea pig for? Why not. Spreading your legs for an alien specimen, though? How the hell did this even happen?

You’d been promised a lot of money, is how it happened. A lot of money and a photo of a not entirely horrible looking creature from a world or two away. Aizawa.

He doesn’t speak, which is fine, just towers over you with blacked out eyes, inhuman tongue slithering out of his mouth every once in a while to dab at your pulse point, only emphasizing how fast your heart is beating with him on top of you.

You’re safe. You think. You’re being supervised through a window, not entirely alone. It would bother some people, but your standards for sex went out the window way before this. You’d prefer this metal lab table to the gravel behind the bar from your college town.

Smooth, thick digits are buried inside your cunt, feel more like your silicone toys than any human finger or dick you’ve ever taken, but it’s not bad. His hands are huge, fingers impossibly long, and the way he’s touching you makes you feel like he’s the one doing the research here. Impossible to tell what he’s thinking, though.

His body is mostly human-like in terms of shape. A head, a torso, two arms, two legs, et cetera, but there’s no denying he’s anything but. For one, he’s enormous, at least twice the size of an actual human. His flesh is… cold and dense, rigid, muscle packed into different groups to ensure he can move in ways you’ve never seen before. The black mop on top of his head is impossible to describe. Hair? Sensors? A million antennae? You don’t know for sure, but you’ve mostly stopped worrying about that in favor of focusing on what’s hanging between his legs.

That is 100% an alien cock. In size and shape and… function. There’s no use comparing to what you’ve seen before because the only thing that’s similar about it is that it’s vaguely shaped with the purpose of sliding into some kind of hole. In this case, your pussy. Even with his fingers doing a strange, meticulous job of stretching you out, you don’t know how he’ll fit.

Then it sort of clicks into place when he leans up and slips his long tongue into your mouth, secreting something sweet from it that makes you feel boneless.

Oh. So this might be a problem.

He moves his fingers a little more aggressively inside of your body, adding another and another. You can feel your body stretching, feel the sting that comes with, but you don’t mind for some reason, like even if you were scared or angry, all you’re capable of feeling in the moment is contentment.

The initial press of his cockhead to your entrance almost jolts you from whatever high state you’re in, but Aizawa rests a hand on the side of your face and softly pushes a finger into your mouth, and you find yourself sucking at it, tasting the same sweet sedative he had given you before.

You can’t make a sound as he pushes into you, leaning his hips forward as his huge cock bullies your walls open. You suck in a deep breath, tears falling from the corners of your eyes, but it doesn’t hurt. You know it’s supposed to. You know it will. But it doesn’t. It’s almost like the tears and air are being pushed from your body in a feeble attempt to make more room for him. All you’ve taken is his tip and you already feel like you’re going to burst.

You also feel like you’re going to run out of fluid with how wet you are, pouring slick all over his length where you lay spread for him. You can’t read any facial expressions or even the look in his eyes, but something about the way his head lifts and those endless eyes reflect your sweaty face… you think he might be satisfied with the effect he’s having on your body.

Aizawa starts thrusting shallowly, slowly working you open, stretching your cunt so that he can fit more and more of his cock inside of you. Human bodies were obviously not mean to accommodate a creature of this size, so why exactly are people researching it?

His cockhead finds your cervix, landing uncomfortable but soft kisses to it for a few moments before Aizawa starts pushing in more. Your chest tightens, blood going cold because no no this isn’t how bodies work, he can’t just—but he kisses you with his addictive, euphoric alien tongue, and your body just parts for him, and suddenly there is something deep inside of you—deeper than anything has ever been.

You can feel how wide your eyes are, how far your jaw has dropped, and how wet your pussy is. You don’t understand it, but it’s all happening. He’s touching every millimeter of your insides, massaging your g-spot just by being there. A smooth finger pinches and toys with your engorged clit, and you cry out when it makes you cum. Your muscles try to clench with each pulse of your orgasm, but it’s impossible to tighten around the huge cock inside of you. All you can do is stay stretched around it as juices leak from you.

Something of a grunt catches in Aizawa’s throat, his head down as if he’s looking at yoir cunt, where the two of you connect. He touches your sensitive bud again, another noise leaving him when you jerk beneath him, and then he begins rubbing it in time with his now faster thrusts. He must have liked seeing you cum.

You don’t know what you like anymore. You don’t know anything.

You’re covered in a sheen of sweat, face wet with drool and tears, but you’re not in pain exactly, just overwhelmed, can’t really breathe, can’t focus on anything other than how full your poor body is. When you look down, you whimper at the sight of your stomach bulging and moving with every push and pull of Aizawa’s cock. He’s so deep, sliding against your insides, pounding into your guts—your womb—and you don’t know how long he’s there or how many times you cum. All you know is you’re trembling and breathing quickly and sobbing when he throws his head back and climaxes.

The feeling is indescribable. It’s not like with a human when you can feel warm cum dripping from your pussy. You don’t feel anything dripping from you. You just feel something filling you, something being added to your body, a tightness forming in your belly that shouldn’t be there.

Aizawa pulls out, leaving you so cold and so, so empty, but he places a hand on your swollen tummy. Swollen even without him inside of it.

There’s still a pressure deep inside you, a pressure, and then a pinch, and then—

You scream, back arching, legs spreading even further than before as you bear down on the table. Another orgasm crashes into you from out of nowhere, and the force of it pushes whatever is inside of you out of you.

Eggs. You don’t know how many. You just know they fall from your gaping hole like a grotesque slime, oddly pleasurable as they breech your entrance and only prolonging your orgasm. Both your brain and body are confused at everything that’s happened since being locked in this lab, and once you’re finished expelling all of the eggs, all you can do is curl up on the table and shake.

Aizawa is very still for a while. You think he might be confused. He reaches down and scoops up some of his wasted contribution, considering it and then you, then drops it back to the ground.

“S-sorry. My body’s not… the right fit for you,” you tell him breathlessly, surprisingly sheepish.

Silence. A few more glances. Then he’s reaching for you and pulling you from your fetal position, tugging you until your ass is on the edge of the table and your legs dangle on either side of him.

Leaning in close to your face, he speaks for the very first time. It should be comforting that he knows your language, but it only sends a chill down your spine.

“You’re the perfect fit for me.”

event masterlist ✿

[calliecwrites]

Shifter HRT, part 5 – Mind Before Matter (6 Months)

I’ve been on shifter HRT for half a year now. Half a year! The physical changes are still going slowly, but the mental changes are really speeding up. My mind is getting ready for the kind of body I’ll have. I’d say that’s a sign the big physical changes are coming soon.

I’m fully aware of my body now. Not in the vague way humans are – I mean everything. I know my shape, how it’s all laid out on the inside, and how everything connects. I’m aware of things stretching and twisting as I move. And all this knowledge is just there, like how I know whether I’m hot or cold.

It’s my sense of form coming in. It’s like proprioception – how you know where your limbs are, how you can touch your nose with your eyes shut – combined with whatever it is I tweak when I want to feel phantom arms or wings, but turned way, way up. I can’t change anything – at the moment it’s read-only – but I have a feeling this is going to be a big part of how shapeshifting works. It doesn’t feel detailed enough, yet, for what I’ll be able to do – I think it’s going to get a lot stronger – but even this would already overwhelm a human. If anyone needs proof that I’m not human anymore, here it is.

I know the shape of things, but not necessarily what they do. So, uh, I’ve become just a bit obsessed with anatomy in the last few weeks… OK, so I’ve been reading about it in every spare moment. It’s kind of a big deal, suddenly being aware of all this stuff inside you and not knowing what most of it does! And, who’da thought, we know quite a bit about how humans work.

Though it’s funny I only take an interest in this when I’m well on the way to becoming something else.

I’ve counted all my bones, and learned the names for them. I’ve found organs I never knew existed (thymus? mesentery?). And I’ve come across the weirdest names for things. In your ears there’s a goat and an anti-goat (or the words for those in Ancient Greek), and in your eyes are the zonules of Zinn – and those sound so much like aliens in some low-budget sci-fi film that I couldn’t stop laughing. We are the Zonules of Zinn, take us to your leaders—

But – I should stop. You’re not here for a three-hour lecture on anatomy. Especially when all of that is going away! Being made of homogenous goo seems way more sensible than all that muddle.

So: goo.

Tiny filaments of fluid are growing all through my body like a second nervous system. Unlike my gooey blood, I’m pretty sure this is the real thing – the stuff I’ll eventually be made of. I also think this is what’s giving me my sense of form. It’s what’s letting me watch the changes from the inside. More of the flexible patches of skin are appearing, and they line up with where the filaments are densest. They’re really starting to ache now, but still don’t do much yet – though my sense of touch is sharpest there.

The goo is also filling all the spaces in my brain and spinal column. I’d bet that’s happening right down to the cellular level – though I can’t feel that much detail. My old cerebrospinal fluid is completely gone. And, yes, it’s weird being able to feel my brain, knowing that this thing is somehow where all my thinking happens. Except now it’s not the only part doing that. Shifters don’t have brains – or even cores, like some kinds of slimes do. Our minds are spread out through the whole of our bodies. We’re thinking with goo, not meat. But right now, I’ve got both, and that’s got to be why the fluid is so tightly packed around my brain – so the two of them can talk to each other. Somehow, this process has to change the way my mind works right down to the atomic level, while still keeping me as one coherent person the whole time. Hearing what some of the people on slime HRT are going through as their brains dissolve, I can only hope the shifter version isn’t going to be like that.

My eye for detail is stronger and more consistent now. Sometimes I realise I’ve been staring at things for hours, taking in everything. And it’s not just sight. I want to touch things, feel all the textures, turn them every way, trace everything with my fingers. Sometimes I want to taste things too, though I’ve been resisting that one – my body is still human enough that I don’t think that would be a good idea. Germs, and all that. Is this how babies feel, exploring with all their new senses? I’ve got to wonder. It’s like my mind wants to relearn everything, now that so much extra detail is available.

I’ve found I really like meshes and grids, and things with lots of little holes in them, especially if they have multiple layers, and even better if they’re irregular. They’re fascinating. I want to stick my hands in there and be whatever weird irregular shape would fill all the spaces – though of course I can’t, because my body is still solid.

And sometimes I want to absorb things, too. That’s the only way I can explain what I’m feeling – wanting to take things apart layer by layer and… know them completely? Not with my hands or teeth, but with something I don’t even have yet. Absorption isn’t just a way to eat, but a way to learn forms more accurately than through observation.

But I can’t do it yet, so when the feeling comes on, dysphoria gets bad. Having new instincts that I can’t act on is horrible. My mind wants it, and my body just can’t. Imagine being hungry and having no mouth. Now it really feels like being stuck. When it happens, I curl up, hold things tightly, and press them against the changed parts of my skin, hard as I can. That helps a little bit. But until my body catches up with my mind, I’m just going to have to put up with it.

These senses are still intermittent, though now they’re there more often than not – and I’ve got a theory why. My fluid and brain are constantly changing and learning to communicate, so it’s no surprise if the signals don’t all match up sometimes. And when they’re fuzzy or missing, I miss them. I feel like I’m walking around blindfold. The old human default is starting to feel like nothing more than a bad dream, one I’ll be glad to forget.

Still, I don’t know how permanent any of this is, not yet. If I lost access to my medication, would anything stay? Would it all go back to the way it was before? Would this be the dream, that I’d never recapture?

My actual dreams are changing, too. I’ve been a shifter in dreams for years – or at least the approximate version my human brain could handle. That’s changing. Now if I decide to have wings or extra arms, they don’t just appear, like before – now, they grow, and my sense of form grows with them. There’s no internal detail, but I know exactly what shape they are, without having to touch them with my hands or look. And they’re much more stable – they don’t disappear halfway through the dream if I get distracted. I don’t know how realistic any of this is, but it’s the most I’ve ever been able to do. Imaginary shifter becomes shifter-in-training! And soon – soon! – I’ll be able to do this for real.

And one last thing: I made a few comments online, on posts by people like me. Anonymously, of course – hiding is a hard habit to break, and it took a long time to work up the courage even for that. It’s one thing going through all this in private – it’s quite another telling someone else. But I’m glad I did. Just those one or two replies saying I’m valid mean so much. There are other people who get it. Maybe over the next few months I’ll be able to do more. Maybe I’ll make some new friends. Maybe it’s time to tell my existing friends, and my family. I’ll think about it.

Like I said at the start, I’m hoping the physical changes are going to really take off soon. Which means – the goo'd times are coming! And I’ll see you there!

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[archivehub]

Title: Pillow Talk

Summary: Steven and Connie discuss whether or not their future will involve children.

A new short story/one-shot! I've been meaning to write this one for years now lmao. It's the second-longest short in my Jam Buds and So On collection.

If you hate external links, the short can also be found below the cut:

On the second floor of a bed and breakfast, in a near pitch-black room, two young adults laid motionless, disheveled on a too-small, full-size bed. Not a sound could be heard but the faint snoring of their large, pink-furred friend, who had, much to the pair’s apprehension, insisted upon sleeping in the same room as them.

“Would you ever want kids?” a hoarse, male voice abruptly cut through the silence.

His girlfriend, wide-eyed, glanced his way; she could barely make out his features amidst the darkness. “Where’s this coming from?” she spoke softly, nonjudgmentally, hands clasped over her own, bare chest.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I guess it just seemed kinda, uh…”—he pursed his lips—“relevant…”

“Huh? What do you …?” she trailed off, eyebrows knitting. “Oh… ohhhh…” She slapped a sweaty palm to her forehead. ”Duh.”

He snickered, playfully brushing a foot against hers beneath the covers. “So… have you ever thought about it, Connie?”

“M-maybe… I, uh …” She searched every crevice of her mind for a clear answer; time and time again, she came up completely empty. Truthfully, she had not been expecting the conversation for another few years at least. She should’ve been more prepared, she should’ve expected this. It’s Steven, after all. “Have, uh, you ever thought about it?” Of course he has!

“Y-yes… a lot, actually,” he murmured with a slight titter. Setting his eyes upon the ceiling, he elaborated, “I have almost every day for the last few years…”

“Hm…” Connie hummed. She felt her cheeks, her everything, redden; how could she not have seen this coming? “Why’s that, biscuit?”

He paused briefly, concentrating on the vague shape of the steadily spinning ceiling fan. “Well, it’s just… being on the road, I guess,” he shrugged. “It’s given me a lot of time to think about this stuff, about my future…”—he rolled over and desperately, intimately met her eyes—“about our future.”

“Y-yeah?” Connie acknowledged shakily, anxiously… excitedly? She bit her lip with anticipation.

“And, well…” he continued, “it feels like everywhere I go, I see nothing but families. Happy families. Normal families…” he stressed, “two parents ‘n’ all. It makes me think about all the stuff I missed out on as a kid… Like, what kinda person would I be today if I’d just had a normal, human family? If my mom hadn’t secretly been alien royalty?” he tearfully chuckled. “Sure, I wouldn’t be myself, but… well, that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it, y’know?”

“Oh, Steven…” she cooed as she placed a warm, tender hand upon his bare shoulder.

He placed a mellow hand atop hers. “But, uh, anyway, I guess all that is just my long way of saying… some day, Connie, I… I want to start a family with you. I-I’ve never been so sure about something in my entire life." He began running his free hand through her greasy, tangled hair. “Me and you— er, you and I,” he corrected himself, “we could be such amazing parents. Y-you could teach our kids all sorts of interesting stuff, a-and I could heal their wounds if they ever got hurt!” He felt his cheeks flush as a broad grin made its way to his lips. “A-and—best part—they wouldn’t have any magical destinies!” he chuckled. Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead. “They could live completely normal lives. They’d go to school, have friends their age, a-and at least one of us would always be there to cook meals for them!”

Connie felt her mouth fall ever-so-slightly agape as her pupils dilated. She had no idea how she was meant to feel; this was all so new to her. The way her boyfriend described it, the prospect of parenthood sounded so exciting. But… it also sounded like endless responsibility, something which became harder and ever-so-harder to think about as her upcoming exams slipped into her thoughts.

She supposed she had always been open to the idea of having children; she never would’ve even considered dating Steven had she not been. The very idea, though, of bringing new life into the world, of being wholly responsible for said life, had always seemed like a major commitment to her, one which she could never consider lightly.

“And, if you wanted, we could even adopt!” Steven energetically added. “I know a whole lot of people hate the idea of pregnancy; I would never put you through it if you didn’t want me to—well, if I’d even be able to put you through it, biologically ‘n’ all.” His forehead puckered, despite his best efforts to hide his restlessness. “I-I could get that tested, though: I’ve researched it! I’d just have to mail a few samples to a lab and …” he trailed off before shaking away his train of thought. “I, uh, think you get it,” he chuckled breathily, sweatily. He then pulled away from his girlfriend, maintaining eye contact as best as he possibly could. “So, uhm… w-what do you say, Connie? B-be honest with me, please.”

‘Wait for that special someone before you have kids,’ her mom would always tell her, coincidentally starting around the same time she met Steven. She had come around to him over the years, though, even going so far as to make him an ‘honorary member' of the Maheswaran family.

What her mom, what anybody else, thought, though, simply didn’t matter right now. She had to make this decision for herself, and she already knew what her heart of hearts wanted her to say…

As his girlfriend’s silence crept upon two minutes long, Steven felt the last remnants of his smile fall. “Y-you know what,” he muttered, eyebrows lowered, “j-just forget about it. We can talk about it some other time.” It took every ounce of his will to prevent his skin from glowing. “I-I’m really sorr—”

“After I get my bachelor’s at Jayhawk,” Connie abruptly interrupted, “a stable job, a house… and maybe with some help from your dad and my parents…” she diligently laid out, “then… well…” she giggled through a dimpled smile, “there should be some room in the agenda.”

Steven felt his entire body suddenly light up with emotion. His breathing hastened tenfold as he felt himself start bouncing up and down on the mattress. Grabbing his girlfriend’s shoulders, tears pricking at his eyes, he near-shouted “C-Connie, is that a 'yes'!?”

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 56, 57, and Revolution

MTMTE 56

and now for something completely different

“I know I'm paranoid. Contrary to popular belief, that doesn't mean I think everyone's out to get me. It just means I don't know who is and who isn't.” HEY. BIG SAME LMFAO not to gripe on fandom culture once again but y'all literally ruined my brain chemistry and I think it's fair for me to talk about it lmAO I know that not literally everyone who participates in fandom is an insane person who wants to start a harassment campaign against a complete nobody like me because it would be easy clout and no one would help me, in fact most of you are pretty cool, but I know someone will. Because someone always does. I've seen enough of my peers get hurt and/or die to know that someone always does, even if you think you're not popular enough. Like, I hope y'all realize what a fucking act of bravery posting all this has been for me lmfAO you have no idea how many times I've had to stop myself from editing out a hot take out of fear that even one chronically online individual might feel the need to punish me to protect the purity of the funny alien robot comic, including this paragraph

gfdsjkk I forgot Fort Max just fuckin kicks Prowl while he's in his alt mode so it just looks like he's kicking a police car. ACAB

oh god Outrigger's a fuckin youtuber lmAO

aww I do like that both Fort Max and Red Alert tried to get in contact with anyone they could when they saw everyone's farewell message, they still have everyone's numbers. Ooh except Chromedome changed his, or at least I assume Prowl's talking about Chromedome

ooohh right, this was another theory if I remember correctly, that Fort Max used to be Pious Maximus, like he got shadowplayed from being one to the other. I vaguely remember a panel I think way back in the Shadowplay arc of a dude in the background who looked kind of like Fort Max when Prowl and Chromedome found one of the institutes

casually thousand yard stares off into space at Sentinel's monologue about how Cybertron is now full of “mongrel Cybertronians” and he wants to “wipe the slate clean.” I wish life would imitate art would imitate life a little less lmfAO

*points at Prowl* lol but also Sentinel leave Red alone, he doesn't deserve this

MTMTE 57

ohh man here we go, last issue of MTMTE. It's not the end of the comic, it just changes names, but this still always feels like a milestone. The name changes, the main artist changes, this is absolutely a turning point and it always feels strangely bittersweet to reach it during a readthrough

“You're not one of THOSE, are you?” is still such a funny line of dialogue, truly on some care bears villain shit

still incredibly funny that Prowl has to use his table-flipping skills to reactivate the titan. The release mechanism was just. Conveniently table-shaped

man no wonder Red Alert got overwhelmed and tried to end it, poor dude's been out here playing 4D chess with his own brain for millions of years

fgshdjks Sentinel gets knocked into a pit by a bird and unceremoniously falls to his death. I've never seen anyone get more owned in my life

“You hate change. I sympathize.” “I hate endings.” “Same thing.” yEAH. YEAH THAT'S WHY THIS ALWAYS FEELS SO BITTERSWEET like yeah it's not an actual ending, but it is the end of certain constants that had been established (like the name, the main artist, etc) and like. That's enough! That's enough of a change for it to be felt! Not to get too deep or anything but it's normal to mourn for the loss of a life you're still living because it's no longer the same life

MTMTE Revolution

but before we move on, one more issue of MTMTE lmAO

god I completely forgot about Crankcase's online boyfriend

gfsjdkl Krok and Fulcrum trying to help Crankcase prepare for his date........ they're real ones

gOD THEIR STUPID HOLOMATTER AVATARS...

THEY FUCKIN BURIED HIS ASS god they are so bad at humans lmfAO

aww, Grimlock... shame he had to level a handful of cities to get his keepsake back but that's very sweet lmAO

fdhjks poor MP3

[chordata-on-alterhumanity]

helloo!

Sorry if this has been asked before but I got curious. I have recently been doing some research on the theryan community and I have been reading more and more about phantom shifts. My question is are there like levels to shifts? Is it something you can learn to do? I am asking this because I have never had a phantom shift that felt like I had paws or something BUT I have felt like my body was wrong (if that makes sense) and also like my hands and arm aren't mine. It's really weir and I want to know if this has anything to do with shifts.

If you do reply I thank you in advance!

Hi!!

I wouldn't say that there are clear-cut levels to shifts, but I would say that they can happen on a scale of intensity for sure. Say, one time it might be a very weak sensation, whereas another time you might feel it very strongly!

You can "learn" to have stronger shifts by practicing leaning into the sensation. You can mentally visualize that your body is different to the point where that mental image feels really true. That's an active choice, but through force of habit it can become a subconscious one, where even if you're not paying it active mind you'll feel like your body is that way. Every time you feel as if your body is different from its actual irl shape, that can be considered a phantom shift, no matter how or why that feeling appears.

The general feeling of your body being wrong and the feeling of your hands not being yours could be very vague phantom shifts. You can try to make them more precise by asking yourself questions about it: In what way does it feel different? Are there any traits I can pinpoint in what my body feels like? Does it remind me of something which I might have phantom shifts of? Theriantropy isn't the only form of alterhumanity that can include phantom shifts, so you're not limited to an animal shape. Aside from currently existing or extinct animals, you could have shifts of a mythological being like a dragon, fairy, elf, dwarf etc, you could be an alien, a machine or android, a fictional creature like a pokemon, some other type of non-human being like idk a person made up of fog! Electricity! Or something else entirely unique to you which you haven't seen anywhere else before. Explore yourself, and be open to all ideas and possibilities.

I'd also like to point out that it's possible you could be experiencing a form of dissociation alienating you from your body. Doesn't have to be the case, but the description of feeling like your body feeling somehow wrong made me think of that. I hope you're in a safe space in life. If not - even if unrelated to this topic - please don't be afraid to reach out for help. There should be help hotlines in your area to call for more information on how to move into a more stable direction.

Additional info about shifting: Phantom shifts aren't the only variety of shifts. There are also mental shifts - where you enter the mindset of your alterhuman 'type; altral shifts - where your astral body takes the shape of your 'type (I'm not particularly of the belief that an astral plane exists, so I can't tell you much about how that works); aura shifts - where your aura takes the shape of your 'type (again, not sure if I believe in auras, so you'd better ask someone else about that if you want more info); dream shifts - where you take the shape of your 'type in a dream; and sensory shifts - where your sense more strongly resemble the sensory experience of your 'type. There's also the topic of reality shifting, but that's unrelated to alterhumanity!

Thanks so much for coming to me with the question :3 I hope this helped!

[theamazing-sunny]

Writing prompt

A chilly winter night. It was only a mere 10 minute walk to my flat but I was so buzzed, everytime I took a step forward I could feel the life get drain out of me. I sat down and tried to roll a cigarette even though my stiffen hand made it hard. I glanced across the street where I could vaguely figure out the shape of some old sofa. People frown upon used things but I think they are just a gift that never stops giving. With my new mission i stood up and lit my cigarette then proceeded to try not fall on my face as I walked across the street. It was so stupidity cold that I couldn't tell if it was cigarette smoke or just my warm breath in the wind. I pulled away the thin Blanket that protected the sofa. It was a small patchwork sofa and admittedly gorgeous ,but there was something on it. Something? Someone! I gasped in surprise. A tall man with long white hair was curled up on it. The man quickly stood up, he looked down in a way I couldn't see his face. I live in a big city, I am no alien to the homeless and I give what I can but sometimes the they can get a litte aggressive. I apologized in hopes I could dodge further trouble. It was obviously he was tall when he was laying down but now that he towerd over me, it was scary.

A light breeze hit us. The wind pushed his hair out of his face. It might sound stupid but when I got to see the most beautiful clear blue eyes, I don't think I was ever this terrified. They were just so many, he had to have at least 10 all over his face. And they were all looking at me directly. I was in shock and speechless and intoxicated. I considered that someone might have spiked my drink and now I'm just hallucinating. But the massive white wings that were spreading out behind it looked terrifyingly real, I walked back trying to perhaps try to run away but it only came closer. Suddenly I stumbled over my own legs and fell on my own back. The creature just kept walking closer , I tried to crawl backwards but then I felt the house wall against my back. I cried out in a panic when I realized I was trapped, The creature dropped theatrically to it's knees in front of me, it's many eyes started to close and seal shut. The only eyes that stayed on its face were the two that mirrored my own. It almost looked human. Long white lashes framing it's eyes and it's skin pale and smooth. it looked like it was made out of glass or maybe like a porcelain doll. The creature in front of me didn't look like it was going to harm me, it seemed just as panicked as I was, it's big eyes looked at first so glossy and unreal until heavy tears started to roll down it's face.

At this point I sobered up. I collected some courage and opened my mouth but before I could say anything the creature in front of me also got the same idea. Oh well I think that's what it was trying to do. It opened its mouth but there didn't come any words out of it. It sounded like other language but distorted and played backwords. It seemed more like a cry. A very loud one that echoed. It was such a weird noise and when I covered my ears I could still hear it. "Please that hurts!" I yelped. The creature got quiet.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi there, I believe that I am INFJ and would like to have feedback on two things: if my type is right, and if my understanding of the functions is accurate or off.

Use of Ni: I spend around 70% of my time gathering information about the world, linking it in a web of meanings and patterns, then promptly forgetting about any cumbersome details, only keeping a vague fuzzy shape of "meaning". I look for the explanations with the highest possibility and zoom in on my favorite. If once tested, the favorite ends up not being accurate, I update the web, and zoom in on the next most likely answer. My predictions are highly accurate, albeit not perfect. The messiness of this process make it hard for me to explain my conclusions and I usually have to spend a long time to back them up (if I even manage).

Example of Ni use: I gather over time all data about a person, and store it into a cloud in my mind, disconnected from everything else. Every new data creates connections like neurons and start giving an outline of sense. The more data, the more patterns emerge until I have enough to create a model of the person that can predict their logic and unearth their psychological problems. Then, I have one valid model of a human after testing that goes into another cloud that can be used in the future for comparison and fine tuning.

No Ne: I am not what I would consider creative. I am not as curious about topics that take me too far away from my "path" and "goals".

Use of Fe: a big chunk of Ni seems to focus on psychology. When someone behaves in a rude way towards someone else (and the target gets uncomfortable) it makes me uncomfortable, and I see to deem the action "wrong". In that respect, I value harmony and "fair treatment of people". I am also aware that my perception of what is right or wrong might be off, because it is based on my personal feelings, and not all of these are also backed up by logic.

Example of Fe: I was sitting next to a person that started crying. Then, without my conscious permission, I started crying as well. I felt an alien sadness (most likely my own simulation/interpretation of what that person was feeling, though it could be inaccurate) and could not stop myself. I was however aware that I personally wasn't sad.

No Fi: I feel what others feel, without those being my feelings or derived from my own experience. They're like throw away feelings. I don't consider that what "feels right" is "right". I am more motivated into action by principle that seem logical and symmetrical than by any feeling I feel per se. I actually don't have any awareness of feelings if I am not around others.

Use of Ti: I used to get stuck into loops where I would tell myself some bs to convince myself that my bs wasn't bs. That habit was mostly beaten out of me by an INTP. (I can spot when I am doing it much better) For instance, I got cheated on in a relationship. I was hurt and didn't want to get in a relationship again. So, my mind started telling me that "all relationships=bad" because statistics say women are unhappier in relationships, that x percent of men cheat, that in a study y percent of men said they would rape a woman if they could get away with it… yada yada. If something was pointed out as an invalid argument, my brain would supply another and sell it to me as "logical".

No Te: I like to understand the concepts underlying something for the sake of logic, just to play with it. I am very bad at finding fast solutions to problems and don't like expeditive actions even if they give the desired results. I am not one with the system, it just frustrates me.

Use of Se: I am usually not aware of my environment. When very stressed, I over clean, overeat, over sleep, over train… Unfortunately, I am not anywhere near using this in a reasonable way.

Si: recently when very stressed, I found myself remembering the past and getting stuck on it. It only started happening in the past 3 years. I would miss places, visualize them as if they were in front of me. I would miss habits, sights, foods… Unfortunately, I am not aware enough to explain why. It's just an "everything was better before whaaah phase".

Sorry for the length of this :)

----------------------

Your descriptions and examples to support INFJ functions all fit quite well. There is nothing that immediately makes me doubt INFJ. Your reasoning as to why you don't use Ne, Fi, and Te is sound. The only issue that pops up is you seem to have difficulty separating out the dominant and tertiary functions, which is not uncommon.

Ruminating on the past isn't necessarily Si. All Si types will ruminate on the past at times, but it does not logically follow that all people who ruminate on the past are Si types. (All cats have four legs but not all four legged things are cats.) There are a variety of reasons why people ruminate on the past and Si is only one possibility out of many. You say you aren't aware enough to explain why, but I need to know the reason why in order to properly rule out all the Si types. However, given that the INFJ stack fits well and evidence of Ne is very lacking, Si is unlikely.

The only question left: Is there another type that has the potential to fit better? If not, it looks like you've arrived at the answer.

[fyeahmeddy]

so i was thinking about the Mass Effect series and how I don't feel much of anything for a good portion of the human characters, especially the early game ones, but the aliens and a few of the human characters from later games are some of the best characters and most compelling stories I've seen in ANYTHING, and i think a lot of it boils down to a writing problem I think of as 'you're supposed to care'. It's similar to movies where a lot of the character or feelings feel a bit vapid or vague, and I think its because you're supposed to do the work yourself, of conflating their love interest (which is often a shallow dynamic) with your own loves, or the ones you fantasize about; you're intended to project onto them, so they don't do the work of making you care. This is a common thing with characters and concepts where it feels like the appeal is built in, and they tend to feel shallow to me. Conversely, take the aliens of the setting. By default they HAVE to do work to explain who they are, the differences of their cultures, and as a result they come off as far more realized characters, even if nothing they do is super relatable on a superficial level. Whether it is Urdnot Wrex lamenting the ferocity of his people contributing to their collective doom spiral, the robotic hive mind Legion having a mental breakdown when they realize their treacherous kin are SPYING on their people and cannot comprehend why they can no longer understand each other's motivations, or a fair number of other characters that have a LOT going on (Samara the MILF but played for tragedy, as an example). So as a result, they all feel a lot more interesting in a way that default squad mates Kaiden and Ashley (whom discus their backgrounds and relationships if you ask, but almost show up in a more tangible way) feel a bit by the numbers. Heck in my experience, those two mostly are significant by how they annoy me, rather than anything I really remember in their stories. So there might be something to consider here; when doing character stuff, always assume the audience has no reason to particularly care, so you put the work in to make sure they do, which generally will at least get some notice.

I've never played Mass Effect tbh, but the phrase "Samara the MILF" has put it in my radar now.

I get what you mean!! Sometimes we are thrown characters that, only because they are the protagonist, we are demanded to care/relate to them, and it's not rare that many times people end up caring more about secondary characters because those usually have better stories than the protagonists which main goal is achieving something (a dream, a power level, a treasure, love, social recognition...).

And there are times when the story actually shows how shallow the motivations of the main character are and and re-shape them, give them a new goal.... but we end up with the same plot and attitudes.

Meanwhile, the secondary characters have a lot of lore going up with them! We are fed their stories little by little because they are not the protagonist and they don't get the spotlight so much, but that's precisely their forte! By unraveling the character's layers we find they are actually deep and complicated. We understand them in a deep level, we can see many dimensions of themselves, they are just way more interesting! Even when they are not RelatableTM, they are interesting!

And in a setting of humans and/vs aliens, the difference shows up a lot more. Because the human characters are like us, we are supposed to identify with them and care about them from the start. But aliens are a different thing, they are not human, so the writing has to make the effort to explain what they are and what they want. They are given actual characterization.

When you are offered a plain ass chicken breast with normal water vs chicken breast with vegetables, rice, ranch or salsa and bubbly mineral lemonade.... they choice is easy!

Story reading and creation shouldn't be about being relatable, but being interesting.

[industrialbirddog]

Im currently working on some writing projects, so imma give a quick yap session. No spoilers tho, so i gotta be reeeeaaaaallllllllllllllllllllll vague about it.

CORRUPTION

We got a three pov story, told by shark/odin, grey, and jeremy/cerberus.

Its gonna be a horror story.

Since im gonna draw/publish their character sheets anyway I will be telling you all the characters.

We've got Shark/Odin, a 19 yr old non-binary kid, who uses angel/angelself pronouns. I wanna make give angel a weirdcore/emo style.

We've got Grey, an 19 yr old man, who uses he/him pronouns. I wanna give him a more distinguished, fancy fuck look. suit wearer. always styled, his hair looks clean & nice.

We've got Jeremy/Cerberus, a 20 year old agender male, who uses he/him/pups/pupself pronouns. I wanna give this guy a lazy fucker look. He doesnt wear shirts cause he doesnt feel like changing, or is always in sweats and a hoodie type look. never styles his hair, yada yada

We've got Aiden, 18 year old man, who uses He/him pronouns. Im not actually sure what type of style i wanna give, i think maybe a cowboy-ish style? nothing set in stone

We've got dollie, a 19 year old woman, who uses she/they pronouns. Im also not sure of theyre style, probably going to go with a veeerrryy modest style. not sure

We've got freddy, 47 year old man, who uses he/him pronouns. Father off odin, he will be a dad bod haver and very lazy clothes. hes a busy man hes got no time for style!!! single father, demanding job.

POWERHOUSE

A two pov story, guys fight ig man idk?? told by Aztral and Oscar.

In this world they have powers, so ill yap abt those too.

Aztral, an agender alien whos 25 in human years, uses it/its pronouns. My ideal style for this character is a twisted version of inumaki from jjk, but with more foraging stuff. Hes an alien scout, but a specific scout guy who collects plants to be analyzed. His powers include: increased strength, ability to jump higher, can breath out toxic gas/is immune to toxic gasses.

Oscar, a 20 year old deadgender human, uses he/him pronouns. My ideal style for this guy is like- pardon my language but HES A WHORE!!! No shirt like ever, if it is its a workout friendly one because hes a super buff bitch. His powers include shape shifting [because fuck you, my humans do what they want.] and dimensional storage. THIS FUCK FACE CAN STORE THINGS IN HIS TITS. because i said so, pretty boy gotta love him.

Commander Syx [ pronounced six ] some odd aged agender alien commander, uses xe/xem/xyr/xemself pronouns. Just gonna be wearing a uniform. dunno what yet L

Zerum [ ZZ-ear-uhm ] a 23 year old agender male human, who uses He/him/blood/bloodself/it/its pronouns. I'm not sure what i wanna do for him, but hes def father figure type. So im thinking either super lazy guy or another suit wearer like grey. Bloods powers include Healer, can make ppl sleep [ related to being put under for operation ], calming effect on all nearby.

Boa, a 20 year old woman hawk-human hybird, who uses she/her pronouns. A leader, and fucking RIPPED. Very strong lady, body builder type. I imagine her either just like oscar, or gothic woman. Has big pet snake. Her powers include  Talk to animal, strength, Flight

Rowan, a 27 year old male human, who uses he/him/it/its pronouns. LAZY FUCKIN MAN!!! also ginger, because hes rowan. Like, always so sleepy could fall asleep standing. Its powers are Emotion manipulation [ works through eye-contanct ], speed. My imagined style for something is similiar but not the same to that one super fucking lazy guy from seven deadly sins.

Cosmo, a some odd aged agender alien, who uses it/its/they/them pronouns. An alien scout who instead collects animals. Carries vials/ contantment stuff for small animals, and a lasso for big ones. GLOVES ARE A NEED!!! Powers are Same toxic gas/immunity to toxic gas/speed

Nebula is a some odd aged agender alien, who uses it/its/star/starself pronouns. An alien scout who instead studies cultlures. Carries books/writing stuff, and a universal translator. Powers are  Same toxic gas/toxic gas immunity/strength.

ANCIENT

A two pov story told be Ezekiel and marcus

I just started working on this today, i can thank a random tumblr post i saw on tiktok. It was a thing where every language sounds like english to you and when you speak to someone it sounds like their native language & this random fuck gets mad at you for speaking the ancient language.

This is different tho, and i cant yap AT ALL about the plot in any way or its SPOILERS!!! you are left to your imagination. But since i only started working on it today i have got only two characters which are the main ones.

Ezekiel, a man who uses he/him pronouns. I havent thought ANYTHING into his style, but hes a modest guy def. Not like, hellishly modest, but he is always covered. Long sleeve turtle necks and pants, he strikes me as the type to only wear cargo pants [ im projecting ]

Marcus, a genderclock person who uses it/its/skull/skullself. Also havent thought much into this guy, im thinking modest on another level and turned it into big style [ biased opinion there, in love with the style im abt to attempt to described ] he is always super covered, think muriel from the arcana but with a shirt. Cape, harness, also a turtle neck, cargo shorts, hood that covers his head, mask wearer type. like he is HIDDEN, fingerless gloves tho. I hate finger-having gloves so much i refuse to write them.

Anyway! thats all my projects im on rn. If you read all this yapping i appreciate it.

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Karkat Vantas

Act 5, page 3864-3872

TT: vriska, wait!

TT: oops, hold on.

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

EB: hey, are you there?

EB: i did what you said...

EB: but i can't tell if it worked.

EB: hello?

EB: you didn't fly off to fight jack yet, did you?

EB: i hope not.

EB: anyway, all that stuff you said sounds fun to me, i have hells of the cage flicks in my library.

EB: i do not even care that you're an alien! you see, cage is the universal constant which unites us all.

EB: well...

EB: if you haven't flown away...

EB: i will look forward to your message in the future.

EB: it would be nice to talk, about...

EB: all this stuff that happened.

EB: anyway, bye.

AG: OH GOD.

EB: hey!

AG: OH MY FUCKING HELL, THIS IS SO INSANELY AWKWARD AND SAD.

EB: what is???

AG: HANG ON

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]

CG: HEY.

EB: karkat!

EB: that was you?

EB: where is vriska?

CG: SHE

EB: she what?

CG: SHIT

CG: I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE FOR READING THIS WHOLE THING.

EB: what whole thing?

EB: you mean, what she wrote?

CG: YEAH

EB: why are you snooping around her computer!

CG: BECAUSE

CG: WOW OK

CG: SO LET ME ASK.

CG: DID YOU BOTH ACTUALLY LIKE EACH OTHER.

EB: um...

CG: LIKE I MEAN SOMETHING VAGUELY RESEMBLING ACTUAL GENUINE MUTUAL SENTIMENT OR WHATEVER, NOT SOME LOPSIDED PINING BULLSHIT.

EB: what are you talking about?

CG: DID YOU LIKE HER, YOU WINDSOCK HEADED SHITMOUTH.

CG: IS WHAT I'M ASKING

EB: well...

EB: yeah. why?

CG: OK

CG: THAT'S FINE

CG: THEN

CG: WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER.

EB: talk about what?

CG: I NEED YOU TO BE ABLE TO THINK STRAIGHT.

CG: WE HAVE IMPORTANT SHIT TO GO OVER, AND I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

EB: alright.

EB: like what?

CG: PLANS.

EB: what plans?

CG: NEVER MIND THAT. FIRST, GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BLACKOUT TO A PLACE WHERE I CAN SEE YOU.

CG: LEAVE NOW, I'LL CONTACT YOU IN A WHILE, ONCE YOU'VE LANDED.

EB: landed where?

CG: LOHAC. OBVIOUSLY.

EB: oh, obviously.

CG: WELL HOW ELSE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO CAUSE THE SCRATCH, IDIOT.

CG: DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY CLUE WHAT'S GOING ON?

CG: WAIT, OF COURSE YOU DON'T, YOU ARE WEARING PAJAMAS AND GIGGLING AT CLOUDS LIKE EACH ONE WAS SHAPED LIKE THE RUDEST BIT OF NAKED ANATOMY A HUMAN CAN RECOGNIZE.

EB: no i'm not!

EB: i mean, yes, i am wearing some pretty nice pajamas.

EB: but i know lots of things, like about the tumor, which i have already recovered...

EB: wait, i mean the tumor

EB: wait, fuck.

EB: i mean...

EB: oh screw it, you know, the big bomb, and some other stuff like that, i am totally in the loop.

CG: GREAT, AWESOME, NOW GET GOING.

EB: so i have to cause the scratch, huh?

CG: OK, I'M DONE HERE. TALK TO YOU IN ONE SECOND FOR ME, ONE LONG WINDY FUCKING JOURNEY FOR YOU.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]

CG: OK

EB: hi!

CG: LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

EB: aren't you going to ask me how my journey was?

CG: NO.

EB: it was long! and windy. but a lot of fun.

EB: i really like flying, it's so much fun.

CG: OH, I BET IT IS JUST THE BIGGEST FUCKING BLAST A GUY CAN HAVE WITHOUT A PAIR OF SHAME GLOBES SECURED IN HIS TWO TREMBLING FISTS.

EB: you... haven't tried it?

CG: EVERY DOUCHE GOT TO FLY BUT ME, EVEN THE CRIPPLE.

CG: MAY HE REST IN PEACE, I FUCKING GUESS.

EB: :\

EB: wait, is that the guy who vriska killed?

CG: OH GOD, YOU ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT THAT?

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, I GIVE THE FUCK UP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND YOU AND HER.

EB: haha, why?

CG: EGBERT, GOD DAMNIT. WILL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND LISTEN?

EB: ok.

EB: but...

EB: is something wrong?

CG: WHAT

EB: a while ago you talked to me and it sounded like you were in danger, and it sounds like some people died, but you never told me what happened!

EB: then i got distracted by a lot of crazy stuff.

CG: YEAH, SOMETHING IS WRONG

CG: OR, WAS.

CG: A BUNCH OF US DIED, THE END.

CG: I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

EB: oh.

EB: are you sure?

CG: YES, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE, OH, THE CLOCK IS RAPIDLY TICKING DOWN TO SOMETHING WE'RE CALLING THE CRITICAL MOMENT, AND NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, SO CLOSE YOUR REEKING QUESTION GEYSER BEFORE IT ASKS.

EB: but, i'm your friend. aren't i?

CG: OH GOD.

EB: well?

CG: JOHN, I CAN'T HANDLE TALKING ABOUT IT, OK.

CG: I JUST GOT DONE

CG: UH

CG: DEALING WITH GAMZEE

CG: AND I'M FEELING PRETTY EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT. SO PLEASE, NO.

EB: who is gamzee?

CG: HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

EB: really? i thought terezi was your best friend.

EB: or wait, maybe she was your girlfriend, i forget...

CG: MY THINK PAN, IT HURTS

CG: IT IS PRESENTLY THREATENING TO MAKE ME ITS BITCH, JOHN. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

CG: DO YOU WANT YOUR COOL ALIEN PAL TO BECOME THE BITCH OF A RAW, THROBBING THINK PAN?????

CG: SUCH IS THE SCENARIO BEFORE US.

EB: sorry, i don't mean to be nosy. i just want to know some things about your situation!

EB: i am concerned.

CG: GAMZEE WAS MY VERY GOOD FRIEND, WHO WAS THIS GOOFY LOVEABLE BULLSHIT CLOWN UNTIL HE WENT PSYCHO AND KILLED SOME PEOPLE. I LIKED HIM A LOT.

CG: I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS MY BEST FRIEND IS REALLY JUST THE GUY WHO I HAPPEN TO BE FEELING MOST SENTIMENTAL TO AT THE MOMENT, IS THAT A FUCKING CRIME.

EB: heh, no.

EB: i think i know how you feel.

EB: so he killed some people... and then what?

CG: SO THEN I

EB: it's ok, you can tell me.

CG: JOHN, TRUST ME. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

CG: IT'S JUST A TROLL THING, HUMANS WOULDN'T GET IT.

CG: YOU MIGHT THINK I WAS A SHIT HEAD, AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT NOW ON TOP OF EVERYTHING, SO LET'S DROP IT.

EB: hmm.

EB: ok, if you say so.

EB: oh!!!

EB: i can't believe i almost forgot, i've been dying to know since i left the battlefield...

EB: do you know if rose is ok?

EB: did it work???

CG: SHE'S FINE.

CG: SHE WOKE UP ALIVE ON DERSE.

EB: really??

CG: THAT'S THE RULE, JOHN. YOU KISS A DEAD PLAYER IN TIME, AND THEIR DREAM SELF TAKES OVER, ASSUMING THEY STILL HAVE ONE.

EB: oh, wow.

CG: IT'S INCREDIBLE YOU REACHED GOD TIER STATUS WITHOUT EVEN UNDERSTANDING THE MORE MUNDANE MEANS OF RESURRECTION AVAILABLE.

CG: WAIT, YOUR UNFAILING CLUELESSNESS MAKES IT THE OPPOSITE OF INCREDIBLE, MY MISTAKE.

EB: so, i guess...

EB: it would not have worked on my dad then?

EB: or rose's mom... :(

CG: NO, BUT THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO PICTURE HAPPENING BEHIND THE BLACK CURTAIN, JOHN.

CG: YOU SNOGGING UP YOUR DEAD HATTED MAN LUSUS. THANK YOU FOR THAT MENTAL IMAGE.

CG: OR ROSE'S ADULT WOMAN LUSUS. MAYBE A DEAD WOMAN SWEEPS YOUR SENIOR IS MORE YOUR CUP OF SAUCE, SINCE APPARENTLY YOU ARE "NOT A HOMOSEXUAL", WHATEVER THAT EVEN MEANS, NOT EVEN TO SPEAK OF YOUR RACE'S ABSURD QUALMS WITH THE NOTION OF INCEST, WHICH AGAIN, STILL SORT OF WONDERING HOW THAT CAN EVEN BE A THING.

EB: er...

CG: IS THAT YOUR GAME, EGBERT. HAVE YOU HAD YOUR EYE ON MADAME LALONDE, AND YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A CONVENIENT RESURRECTION OPPORTUNITY TO BUST OUT YOUR MOST PASSIONATE SMOOCHMOTIFS KEPT IN RESERVE? AND IN FRONT OF HER DEAD FEMALE "OFFSPRING" NO LESS! JUST SHAMEFUL.

EB: well...

EB: she is a very pretty lady, but that seems like a really inappropriate thing to think about, karkat.

CG: YOU DON'T SAY!

CG: WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE

EB: i don't know!

EB: i am frankly pretty upset about finding them dead in the magic castle, and i guess i was wondering aloud if something could have been done.

EB: or at least maybe to talk about it, without angry tirades being involved.

CG: EXACTLY, YOU WERE EMBARKING DOWN TRAGEDY LANE, AND WE'VE GOT TO STAMP THAT GARBAGE OUT.

CG: WE CAN'T HAVE YOU GETTING ALL MOROSE WHILE WE'VE GOT SO MANY IRONS IN THE FIRE.

CG: FUCK, LOADED PHRASE, FORGET I SAID THAT.

CG: JUST CLAM YOUR SHIT UP AND FORGET YOUR STUPID GUARDIAN, LIKE I DID WITH MY DEAR CRAB MONSTER CUSTODIAN, WHO I ADORED IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER.

EB: you are being a douche!!!

EB: wait, what am i saying, you are always a douche, hehe.

CG: YES, THANK YOU.

EB: heheheheh, your dad was a crab monster?

CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

CG: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

CG: ROSE, REMEMBER.

EB: yes.

CG: SHE IS WAITING ON DERSE FOR YOUR BOMB TO BE DELIVERED.

CG: IT WILL ARRIVE SAFELY, A LITTLE LATER.

EB: oh, great!

EB: how do you know it gets there?

CG: JADE TOLD ME.

CG: JADE FROM FURTHER AHEAD ON YOUR TIMELINE.

CG: BEFORE MY PIECE OF SHIT CLOWN-BRO MADE EVERYTHING TERRIBLE HERE, SHE AND I WERE HAMMERING OUT THESE PLANS.

CG: I TALKED TO HER ACROSS PRETTY MUCH THE FULL SPREAD OF HER TIMELINE, UNTIL THE SCRATCH STARTS AND THE FEED CUTS OUT.

CG: SO I HAVE A SENSE OF THE WHOLE PICTURE HERE, AND IT'S MY JOB NOW TO PUT SOME THINGS INTO MOTION.

EB: that's cool!

EB: it's nice to hear you are working together. i should pester jade and see what she's up too...

CG: YOU SHOULD SIT YOUR ASS TIGHT AND DO THE FUCK WHAT I TELL YOU THE FUCK TO FUCKING DO.

EB: oh...

CG: ANYWAY, SHE AND DAVE DO A LOT OF FROG BREEDING, ACCELERATING THE PROCESS SIGNIFICANTLY BY EXPLOITING TIME TRAVEL, WITH HELP FROM ME AND KANAYA, SINCE WE WERE IN CHARGE OF FROG DUTIES IN OUR SESSION.

EB: frog duties???

EB: wait, which one is kanaya again?

CG: DON'T INTERRUPT, I AM FOLLOWING A TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

CG: OK, KANAYA IS MY OTHER BEST FRIEND, AND SHE WAS THE HERO OF SPACE LIKE JADE WHICH MEANS SHE'S THE STOKER OF THE FORGE AND IS BASICALLY IN CHARGE OF FROGS, WHICH SOUNDS RETARDED, I KNOW. YOU BREED THE RIGHT FROG TO MAKE THE UNIVERSE YOU WANT TO MAKE, WHICH IS A LONG ARDUOUS PROCESS AND I KIND OF FUCKED IT UP IN MY GAME, BUT THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER STORY WHICH I'LL GET TO LATER, OK?

EB: wow. ok.

CG: SHE AND DAVE RAN INTO JACK, WHICH I'M SURE HE MUST HAVE SAW COMING BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE EXPLOIT TIME TRAVEL SO SHAMELESSLY AS HIM, NOT EVEN ARADIA.

EB: aradia?

CG: JUST ANOTHER DEAD TROLL, WHO CARES.

EB: :(

CG: STOP FROWNING, SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD BEFORE SHE DIED.

EB: ...

EB: :(

CG: SO SHE AND DAVE FOUGHT WITH HIM A WHILE, AND LONG STORY SHORT, HE DIED.

EB: what!!!

CG: BUT IT'S FINE, I GUESS THAT WAS HIS PLAN, LIKE SOME BIZARRE USELESS LAST STAND, EVEN IF HE DIDN'T TELL JADE WHO WAS PRETTY FREAKED OUT UNTIL I TALKED HER THROUGH IT.

EB: did she kiss him too? :O

CG: YEAH.

CG: RIGHT THERE, WHILE JACK WATCHED LIKE A FUCKING CREEP.

CG: BUT IT WORKED.

EB: omg, karkat. it is like your shitty shipping grid is coming true before our very eyes.

EB: haha, remember when you made that ugly thing?

CG: WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT SHIPPING, OR MY LUDICROUS STRANGLEHOLD OVER ALL TOPICS CONCERNING ROMANCE, I'M STILL TALKING.

CG: HE WOKE UP ALIVE ON DERSE, AND MET WITH ROSE.

CG: THAT WAS THE END OF THE LINE FOR ALPHA DAVE. TO MY KNOWLEDGE, HE DOESN'T TIME TRAVEL AFTER THAT, AND HE AND ROSE STAY ON DERSE WAITING FOR THE BOMB UNTIL YOU START THE SCRATCH. BUT I CAN'T SEE EITHER OF THEM BECAUSE OF THE BLACKOUT LINGERING AROUND ROSE FOR WHATEVER REASON. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT'S UP WITH THAT.

CG: REGARDLESS, HIS JOB IS TO PLOT A COURSE THROUGH THE RING TO FIND THE SUN.

CG: WHEN HE DOES, EITHER HE OR ROSE WILL DELIVER THE BOMB.

CG: I DON'T KNOW WHICH.

EB: but now they don't have dream selves left!

EB: who ever goes will be risking their life for good, won't they?

CG: THAT WOULD BE THE LOGICAL EXTENSION OF THOSE FACTS, YES.

EB: this is unacceptable!

EB: couldn't i do it?

EB: i am apparently immortal, because of this god tier business, so the bomb probably would not kill me!

CG: OK, BUT DON'T YOU THINK THERE'S A REMOTE POSSIBILITY THAT GOING ON A SUICIDE MISSION TO SAVE ALL OF REALITY WOULD COUNT AS A HEROIC DEATH?

EB: hmm...

EB: maybe i could try to be not all that brave while i do it?

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, OF COURSE YOU'D BE BRAVE. THAT TENDS TO BE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING COURAGEOUS.

EB: yeah.

EB: i just don't want to lose anybody else is all.

CG: THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS. I'VE LOST FRIENDS FOR WAY MORE POINTLESS REASONS. YOU'RE ALL OUT OF OPTIONS HERE.

CG: YOU'D BE RISKING DEATH JUST AS MUCH AS THEY WOULD, AND THEY'RE BETTER QUALIFIED TO HANDLE THE MISSION AS THE DERSE DREAMERS.

CG: JADE'S DREAM SELF IS DEAD TOO, SO SHE'S OUT. OR TO BE MORE SPECIFIC, HER DREAM SELF IS AN OVERLY EMOTIONAL DOG WHO WENT OFF WHIMPERING SOMEWHERE. I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WILL BE COMPLETELY USELESS.

EB: oh, yeah.

EB: she mentioned something about that. she said she prototyped her dream self?? what happened with that?

CG: SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT. KIND OF A SORE SUBJECT.

EB: why?

CG: SHE THINKS SHE'S SELFISH AND COMPLETELY HYSTERICAL AND I GUESS HATES THE PART OF HERSELF SHE REPRESENTS.

CG: BUT I MEAN, THE THING IS SHE SPENT A LONG TIME BEING DEAD AND MOVING ON, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN JUST BRING SOMEBODY BACK AND EXPECT THEM TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ALL THE STUFF YOU THINK IS IMPORTANT.

CG: I'VE TRIED TO TELL HER THAT HER SPRITE SELF IS PROBABLY NOWHERE NEAR AS DESPICABLE AS SHE'S MAKING OUT WITH HERSELF TO BE.

CG: I MEAN

CG: MAKING HERSELF OUT TO BE.

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

EB: ...

CG: LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING

CG: WE'VE ALL GOT FLAWS, EVEN HER

CG: AND FOR ALL THE SHIT SHE'S GIVEN ME ON THIS VERY SUBJECT, SHE KEEPS HERSELF DANGLING FROM A VERY HIGH HOOK.

CG: SHE'D BE DOING ME A MAJOR PERSONAL SOLID BY MAKING AT LEAST SOME ATTEMPT TO GET HERSELF OFF.

CG: WAIT

CG: FUCK

CG: WHAT DID I JUST SAY

EB: wow.

CG: I MEANT LET HERSELF OFF.

CG: THE HOOK. THE FUCKING HOOK, IT'S A FIGURE OF GODDAMN SPEECH.

EB: /raises eyebrows

CG: PUT THOSE THE BACK DOWN, BEFORE MY HOT ACID RAGEBREATH BURNS THEM OFF YOUR IDIOTIC FACE.

EB: ok, i am putting them back down as not suggestively as possible.

CG: WHAT WERE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT, IT WASN'T THIS, WHATEVER THIS IS.

EB: what is what this is?

CG: IT'S NOTHING, YOU SHIT. IT HAS BEEN THE CONVERSATIONAL EQUIVALENT OF US WHISTLING THROUGH OUR SNORT BARRELS WHILE TOUCHING EACH OTHER INAPPROPRIATELY.

EB: was...

EB: was that another weird erotic slip of the tongue?

CG: NO, THAT WAS ME BEING WORKED UP INTO THIS RIDICULOUS FUCKING CONNIPTION AND SAYING SOMETHING INFLAMMATORY, GOD. HOW DOES THAT NOT BE CLEAR BY NOW???

EB: ok, well,

EB: what i am getting from this, aside from the possibility that jade may or may not have kissed dog jade at some point, is that neither of them will be able to help with the bomb plan.

CG: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT! THE PAJAMA PRODIGY USED HIS PUZZLE SPONGE TODAY.

CG: BESIDES, JADE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER IMPORTANT PARTS OF THE PLAN.

CG: FOR ONE THING, YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR HER TO SEND YOU THE CODE FOR THE QUILLS.

CG: YOU CAN'T SCRATCH THE MESA WITHOUT THEM.

CG: SHE GOT THEM FROM HER DENIZEN, OR WILL LATER ON HER TIMELINE, NOW THAT SHE LIT THE FORGE AND WOKE THE MONSTER UP.

EB: aren't those the really tough to kill guys?

CG: YEAH

EB: did she kill him?

CG: HELL IF I KNOW, HER EXPLANATION OF THE ENTIRE ENCOUNTER BOILED DOWN TO AND I QUOTE "shenanigans"

CG: LIMED FOR INFURIATINGLY VAGUE.

EB: haha.

CG: ANYWAY, AFTER SHE GIVES THAT TO YOU, SHE THEN HAS TO GO THROUGH WITH THE REST OF THE PLAN, WHICH IS MAKING SURE YOU ALL SURVIVE AFTER THE SCRATCH, MINUS ONE OF THE DERSE DREAMERS OF COURSE.

CG: THE PLAN REVOLVES AROUND SOME REALLY BAFFLING HAND WAVEY MUMBO JUMBO WHICH I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND, BUT SHE TOLD ME TO TRUST HER ABOUT IT BECAUSE THE INFO COMES FROM A "Reliable informant."

CG: WHITENED FOR SMUG TOOL.

CG: IT INVOLVES SOMETHING TO DO WITH A YELLOW LAWN RING.

CG: WHICH ISN'T THE HUMAN WORD FOR IT, IT'S JUST YOUR WORD IS SO DUMB I FEEL DUMB SAYING IT.

EB: word for what?

CG: I GUESS YOUR ENTIRE ESCAPE PLAN SOMEHOW PIVOTS CRITICALLY AROUND AN UNWATERED PIECE OF RESIDENTIAL PROPERTY???

CG: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT MEANS. JADE SAYS SHE HAS THIS FIGURED OUT, AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO MUCH BUT TRUST HER.

CG: THE POINT IS, SHE'S ALL BOOKED UP, AND ALL TOO MORTAL. SO SHE WON'T BE DELIVERING THE BOMB, AND NEITHER WILL YOU.

EB: ok, well what about this.

EB: since she is mortal, and i am not (sort of), and i don't need to do the scratch for a while, can i go help her?

EB: maybe she could use some protection? maybe that is what dave was just trying to do, when he temporarily died.

EB: remember, jack is still on the loose! he has killed rose and dave once, and me twice.

CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO.

CG: SWEET BLEEDING JEGUS, EGBERT, YOU KEEP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR IMMORTALITY, AND THEN BRAINLESSLY ANNOUNCE PLANS TO GO OFF AND DO SOMETHING HEROIC! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SHORTEST LIFESPAN OF ANY IMMORTAL IN HISTORY.

EB: sorry. :(

CG: BESIDES, IT'S A TOTAL NON ISSUE. JACK WOULDN'T HESITATE TO STAB YOU AGAIN, BUT HE WON'T HURT JADE FOR SOME REASON.

CG: IF ANYTHING, YOU COULD USE HER PROTECTION.

EB: really?

CG: I NEVER NOTICED WHEN LOOKING THROUGH HER TIMELINE EARLIER. IT WASN'T UNTIL I WAS TALKING TO HER IN THOSE TIMEFRAMES AND SHE TOLD ME. HE JUST KEEPS FOLLOWING HER AROUND. I CAN SEE HIM OFF IN THE DISTANCE IN SOME FRAMES, JUST LURKING THERE, SHADOWING HER MOVEMENTS. IT'S INCREDIBLY DISTURBING.

CG: HE LINGERS AROUND HER UNTIL THE SCRATCH BEGINS AND I LOSE THE FEED, NEVER ONCE DOING ANYTHING THREATENING. SHE SAYS SHE THINKS IT'S BECAUSE JACK INHERITED LOYALTY OF HER LUSUS.

CG: IF SHE'S RIGHT, I GUESS HER LUSUS REALLY DID OFFER HER THE MOST PROTECTION POSSIBLE BY PROTOTYPING ITSELF, ALBEIT BY DOOMING US ALL. THE IDIOT.

EB: d'aw, that's actually kinda cute.

CG: SADLY, HE HOLDS NO SUCH LOYALTY TO ANY OF US HERE. HE REGARDS US ALL AS RIPE FOR THE REPEATED SKEWERING.

CG: OH FUCK, MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE ALL JUST DRESSED LIKE JADE?? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS STROKE OF GENIUS ONLY OCCURRED TO ME NOW.

EB: i don't think he would be fooled. dogs have pretty good senses of smell.

CG: IT WAS

CG: A MOTHERFUCKING

CG: JOKE

CG: ANYWAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.

CG: IF WE CAN RIDE THIS OUT FOR A LITTLE LONGER UNTIL THE CRITICAL MOMENT, AND DAVE/ROSE CAN DESTROY THE SUN, JACK SHOULDN'T BE A THREAT.

CG: CONVENIENTLY, IF THEY'RE SUCCESSFUL, THAT WILL SIGNAL THE BEGINNING OF OUR OWN ESCAPE PLAN.

EB: what is your plan?

CG: APPARENTLY THE EXPLOSION WILL BE SO HUGE, IT WILL BE VISIBLE AT GREAT DISTANCES THROUGHOUT THE FURTHEST RING.

CG: EVEN FROM DIFFERENT SESSIONS, LIKE YOURS AND OURS. YOU WON'T GET TO SEE IT BECAUSE BY THEN YOUR SESSION SHOULD BE WIPED OUT BY THE SCRATCH.

CG: BUT WE WILL. THE PLAN IS TO USE IT AS A BEACON, AND TRAVEL THERE AS A RENDEZVOUS POINT.

EB: rendezvous with who?

CG: WE'VE GOT PEOPLE THERE. THAT'S WHAT JADE TELLS ME.

EB: jade knows so many things lately, what is even her deal?

CG: HELL IF I KNOW, THIS IS BASICALLY DREAM INTELLIGENCE, EVERY TIME SHE GOES TO SLEEP, SHE HAS MORE TO RAMBLE ABOUT.

CG: SHE SAYS I SHOULD GO TO SLEEP TO FIND OUT, BUT I'M LIKE HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NAPPING BETWEEN MAKING ALL THESE PLANS AND GETTING PERSECUTED BY THIS DEMENTED HONKING ASSHOLE?

CG: SO YEAH, WE'LL MEET IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE EXPLOSION WITH OUR PEOPLE ON THE INSIDE, OR I GUESS I SHOULD SAY OUTSIDE.

CG: I DON'T THINK THEY CAN COME WITH US THOUGH.

EB: come with you where? who are they?

CG: DEAD PEOPLE.

CG: AS FOR WHERE, IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GOING TO STICK AROUND THERE FOREVER. THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE DEPRESSING, SINCE WE'RE NOT FUCKING GHOSTS.

CG: THE SCRATCH WILL REBOOT YOUR SESSION. YOUR WHOLE UNIVERSE ACTUALLY. SO SOMEWHERE IN THIS DREADFUL ABYSS, THAT NEW SESSION WILL START UP IN ITS OWN INCIPISPHERE, FROM SCRATCH.

CG: LOOK AT THAT, ANOTHER PUN BECAUSE OF USING THAT FUCKING WORD EVERY OTHER SENTENCE! KILL ME NOW.

CG: BUT THAT "FROM SCRATCH" (F'ING LOL!) SESSION IS WHAT YOU'RE SHOOTING FOR TO SURVIVE.

CG: THE IDEA IS FOR YOU ALL TO PRESERVE YOURSELVES BY ESCAPING THERE.

EB: through the lawn ring?

CG: YES.

CG: ONCE YOU'RE THERE, YOU WILL HELP US FIND OUR WAY THERE TOO, AND THEN WE CAN ALL FINALLY FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WITH THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

EB: oh!!

EB: so then, this is how we're supposed to meet. that is kind of exciting.

CG: YEAH, I GUESS, IF ENOUGH OF US ARE ALIVE BY THEN TO MEET.

EB: so, i guess you are not worried about it turning into a huge sloppy makeout fest anymore...

CG: UH

CG: RIGHT! HAHAHA, JOHN, YOU AND VRISKA BETTER KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELVES, OR EVERYONE'S GOING TO BE REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. NO INTERSPECIES FUNNYBUSINESS, IS THAT CLEAR!

CG: BLAAAAAAARGH, I AM CONVINCINGLY FLIPPING MY LID ABOUT THIS, WAVING MY ARMS AROUND A LOT, AND MAKING ALL MY BEST YELLING FACES. WOW, LOOK AT THAT! IT'S TIME TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT AGAIN.

EB: huh?

CG: POOF! SUBJECT CHANGED.

CG: IF IT WORKS AND YOU WIND UP IN THE NEW SESSION, THAT'S WHY IT'LL BE IMPORTANT TO MAKE SURE ONE OF THE DERSE DREAMERS STAYS WITH YOU, SO THEY CAN HELP GUIDE US THERE FROM THE RING.

EB: won't there be other players in the new session?

EB: like, alternate universe versions of ourselves or such?

CG: PROBABLY.

CG: BUT THOSE CHUMPS WON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT US, OR ALL OUR PLANS. WHY WOULD THEY?

EB: yeah... it's just kind of a weird thought.

CG: SO OUT OF EVERYTHING WE JUST TALKED ABOUT, THIS IS THE THING THAT HAS YOU TRIPPING GLOBES? WHATEVER YOU SAY!

EB: but i guess it's sort of comforting too.

EB: if rose or dave have to go off and die, at least i get to see them again, in a way.

EB: even if i will only be alternate universe john to them.

EB: maybe my dad will be alive in that session too!!!

CG: OK, MAYBE, BUT BEFORE YOU GET TOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT, YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE YOU GET THERE FIRST.

CG: WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY, AND STICK TO THE PLAN.

CG: YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON GETTING READY TO START THE SCRATCH. THE GAME DOESN'T MAKE A HARD RESET THAT EASY TO PULL OFF.

CG: ONCE YOU INITIATE IT, THE GAME THROWS EVERYTHING IT'S GOT AT YOU. WHICH IS ONE REASON WHY YOU'RE THE BEST GUY FOR THE JOB, BECAUSE OF YOUR SUPERPOWERS AND SILLY WINDY BULLSHIT.

EB: ok. i'll do my best.

EB: what should i do right now?

CG: GET PREPARED, MAKE ALL THE EQUIPMENT YOU THINK YOU'LL NEED, STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

CG: WAIT FOR JADE TO SEND THAT CODE, WAIT FOR ME TO CONTACT YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND DO YOUR BEST TO HUMOR HIM WHILE HE IGNORANTLY ATTEMPTS TO FLAME YOU BACK INTO THE PUDDLE OF SLIME YOU CRAWLED OUT OF.

CG: PLEASE.

EB: oh, man.

EB: our "first" conversation ever? i can't wait.

CG: YEAH, BUT CAN I JUST SAY SOMETHING IN MY DEFENSE BEFORE THAT HAPPENS?

CG: I DON'T ACTUALLY HATE YOU, AND I NEVER DID. I WAS DELUDING MYSELF.

CG: DEEP DOWN I'M SURE I WAS ALWAYS PRETTY OK WITH YOU.

EB: thanks karkat!

CG: IT WASN'T A FUCKING COMPLIMENT.

[joemerl]

Writer's Month 2023, Day 6: "Surf"

Original fiction (sci-fi/horror) Status/Word count: Complete for now, though I might do more with this later. 974 words. Author's notes: I wasn't sure what to do for this prompt until I remembered the TVTropes term "Body Surf."

It originally came to Earth when something like a meteorite crashed into the water.

The first thing to come across it was a squid. It touched the squid. And thus it became the squid, suddenly learning what it was to have limbs, and eyes, and a form. It absorbed the creature’s mind and knew what it was to swim, to hunt fish, to flee from predators.

It remained a squid for a long time, until one of those predators got too close.

Just as it had been a shock to inhabit a body, it was a new experience to find itself so much bigger, and so different, even more solid, its movements more restricted, yet stronger. It was a whale now. The instincts to hunt and swim were familiar, but now it rose to the surface, knowing that there was a surface above it, and breathed its first gulps of unwatered air.

It spend some time as a whale, eating the surrounding fish, before it started to wonder what their lives were like. And so it moved again, into a much smaller home, and left its former host to float mindlessly in the water.

In basic shape, this body was similar, but it didn’t need to breach, and being so small was a nerve-wracking experience—so many things wanted to eat it now, and it missed its days of being predator instead of prey. And so it found a bigger fish, one that it instinctually feared, and abandoned the smaller fish to become a shark.

Being a shark was much like its last host, and much like a whale, but also quite different in other ways. One change was that it now hunted seals, an animal that lived outside of the water. And it was one day, when it was swimming near the surface to eat rather than breach, that it spotted what it thought was one of these animals.

And suddenly, something unexpected happened. The seal turned out to be something else, a new creature that fell into the water with a splash. An animal very different than anything that it had seen before.

In a split-second decision, driven by curiosity, it abandoned its shark and jumped into the creature.

The human, already frightened by the approaching shark, screamed.

Every host was a new experience, but this change—the rush of strange thoughts and memories, the alienness of its body, and oh, this was not a water creature, the water had entered its lungs and it hurt, it was wrong! Quickly it integrated the new instincts, the knowledge of how to swim without flippers or tentacles, and forced its way up, truly breaking the surface and gasping for breath.

It grabbed the thing floating beside it—not a seal, something more like driftwood, but different—and held it, panting for a moment. Tried to absorb the mind that came with this body, and discovered, to its utter shock, that it was fighting back. It could feel the host still there, its mind racing with a sort of fear that the smallest fish had never experienced.

And suddenly, it had words for things. This body was called a human. The human was called Chris. And it was floating in the water, holding a surfboard.

It hauled itself onto the board and sat there, trying to take it all in. Its head was spinning—not actually, but it was a term this brain provided, an idiom, and it didn’t even have time to unpack that right now. It held out its limbs and looked at itself. Arms and hands and fingers. Tanned skin, covered with drops of water—it had never experienced water as drops before. It had legs ending with feet and toes. It was male. Little hairs covered its body, and it was wearing clothes, board shorts specifically. It touched them, feeling the fabric. It was vaguely aware that one wore more clothes, usually, but at the beach all this body required was a bathing suit. And...

It reached to its new body's chest, touching the thing Chris wore around his neck. A set of dog tags that had belonged to Chris' grandfather. Chris' father had given them to him.

Father. Grandfather. So many strange emotions, crashing on him like a flood. It had so rarely thought of other beings before, aside from as food or predators or potential hosts.

“Yo, Chris!”

It turned. Liam was padding over on his own surfboard. It recognized Liam. There were a whole slew of memories about Liam. Today they had come to the beach. They often went surfing together.

“You okay, man? You look—” Liam made a vague gesture in front of his face. Chris’ brain recognized it. Liam meant that Chris was acting “spacey.”

It wasn’t sure what to respond. It looked down at itself again. It was Chris now, just like it had been a squid and a fish and a shark. But being Chris was more than it had ever experienced before. And there was something…some part of Chris…still screaming in fear in the back of its mind. That Chris wanted to know what was going on, and why he was no longer in control of his body. 

This was all frightening. Fleeing predators seemed tame in comparison.

But also… 

"I'm the one who taught you to surf," it said slowly. "Back in ninth grade. And you helped me pass Algebra. That's how we became friends."

It knew, dimly, that it hadn't done that, that Chris had done that before. But it felt like something that it had done.

"Chris? Dude, are you okay?"

It...he looked up at Liam, and saw the concern growing on his face. It made him feel good, knowing that Liam was worried. He and Liam were friends. He felt a thrill of exhilaration at the thought. 

“I don’t know,” the new Chris said finally.