#i feel like so many people genuinely do not grasp that women are just as fully completely human & sentient as men are & i find it depressing

[wulvert]

twitter keeps showing me people arguing about whether or not its ok for men to have friends who are women without the intention of dating as if thats a sane thing to think is abnormal & i want it off my tl IMMEDIATELY

[navnae]

No because let’s figure this out, I just saw a tiktok about how Steve threw his shirt at Eddie when he clearly could’ve thrown it on floor of the boat, or give it to Robin or Nancy but decided to give it to Eddie instead.

This is what makes Steve and Eddie’s relationship so complex because on the outside we’re supposed to get the vibe of them not liking each other but then they turn around and do shit like this.

Steve reaching for the walkie talkie when he hears Eddie’s voice then immediately taking charge to find him, Eddie invading Steve’s personal space whenever he got the chance, genuine happiness and softness around each other, Steve telling Eddie not to be so hard on himself, the stolen glances done when nobody else is looking, both of them having rough experiences with family but making sure that their the best role models for Dustin, when Steve asked about what car Eddie didn’t shut him down with a slick remark when he easily could’ve because that’s what everyone does to Steve but shockingly his “rival” didn’t, the flirty gestures towards each other, then with their final moments Eddie made it his MISSION to call out only to Steve once he realized that they were separating and this was probably going to be the last time he’s ever going to say anything to Steve again.

Lastly Steve being hesitant to look at the board that had Eddie’s photo on it after everything that happened. It was obvious he wanted to look but kept his head at this angle instead of just looking. We never got to see what Steve’s initial reaction was when Eddie died but I like to think that it was a heavy feeling in his chest knowing that he was gone. Part of it was feeling bad for Dustin knowing how important Eddie was to him but he started to realize he developed these feelings for him that Steve thought were for Nancy because that’s what felt right at the time. Steve got it wrong and he hates that he didn’t get to tell Eddie how he really felt about him when he had the chance.

Their story could’ve been the best thing that’s ever happened in season for if it was written better and more risks were taken. Steve deserved his self discovery storyline when he started having trouble with women and later on he could’ve realized maybe it because he’s tire of the same thing, that’s when Eddie comes in. Eddie is different from anything Steve is used to in many different ways which is why they would’ve been perfect (opposites attract). Then Eddie’s story could’ve been taking Steve’s advice and giving himself some slack but still feeling like he didn’t need to run, Steve would be the one to tell him that running away doesn’t define him in the slightest. Eddie never thought he would take anything that Steve Harrington says but here he was listening to him like his life depended on it.

In the end they were perfect for each other, going from “hanging out with Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson, yeah I’ll pass.” “I wouldn’t save your ass under different circumstances.” (I can’t remember how he said it but you get the point) then going to “Eddie’s a wanted man we can’t just go for a hike in the woods.” “I couldn’t grasp the fact that Steve Harrington, is actually a good dude.”

I don’t understand how people think that they couldn’t work when they were written this way with so many moments between them even small ones that are too quick if you blink you’ll miss it. Steve and Eddie deserved better and they deserved each other.

(Sorry for the rant but I hate wasted potential)

Also Eddie giving Steve his vest??? LIKE COME ON HE WAS INTO THAT MAN!

[cypionate60mg]

Does this make me a chaser?

I'm turned on by the idea of having a mlm/bara coded relationship with a woman. I want to see her get turned into a hulking sex-crazed beast and have people think I'm her cute little twink (even if I looked like Dwayne Johnson ppl should think that).

I love scrolling through autoandrophilic content on tumblr even if I know it's not for me, and can't shrug off the feeling that I, as a cishet guy, am being fetishistic towards trans men. But then I see posts about top surgery and all I can think is lying my face on top of a woman's broad, hard and hairy chest and being like "yeah, this feels a lot better," her scars like those of a barbarian warlord. Which I guess is not great, knowing that this is specifically about men who want to be perceived as men.

I've never attempted to be with a trans guy, bc I know that'd be kind of shitty coming from a straight dude (also they might be autogynephilic, and it would be some kind of cosmic joke for me to be playing into forced detrans). But even if I did, whenever I check r/ftm and see posts about dating straight men I can only feel like the reasons why I would are categorically different (not that it wouldn't be problematic for me to do so). Like, these guys are hellbent on feminizing them (many don't even allow them to bind), which besides sounding like they're massive transphobes, it's just impossible for me to see myself doing the same. Even if I saw my partner as a woman, I wouldn't miss out on the chance of having him undergo hrt (all the better, in fact).

I wish there were (straight) women into the same stuff, but at least within my experience, there are none out there. So I guess I just have whatever I can find on tumblr and melonFF's deviantart (and maybe ao3 accounts none of which post frequently), none of which are directed at me, so I just feel unwelcome enjoying them.

I don't usually answer these sorts of anons, as I get quite a few from cisbi and cishet men. But we're starting to see more cis men in the forcemascsphere, including some with their own blogs, and I think this could be a good opportunity to talk about chasers. For everybody's sake.

Based on this message, here's my read on the situation. You're interacting with the kink through a strictly pornographic lens and are subsequently disappointed that it doesn't translate well to sex. Whether you see your hypothetical partner as a man or not doesn't really matter, because you don't even seem to be thinking about them as a human with their own needs and desires. You're following a recipe for objectification, don't be surprised. Like any kink performed between two or more parties, it does require consent and discussion. Especially because it has elements of transformation and force.

It's honestly a little funny to me to see you talk about how uncommon forcemasc is, bellyaching that even the existing porn for it doesn't cater to you. Man, how do you think I feel? And whether somebody is into forcemasc or forcefem, we all deserve to be treated with respect by our partners. Even if playing out our kink results in physical changes beyond the bedroom. So, yeah, of course those guys you're talking about are assholes. But that doesn't really mean anything, because we're talking about you and your desires.

If you are heterosexual, then why are you scrolling r/ftm and musing about the ethics of dating a trans guy? I mean that genuinely. What do you get out of it? I ask because I'd like to believe that you understand that not all trans men are autoandrophiles. Even I don't want to be forcemasced, which people seem to have a difficult time grasping. Once you start thinking of a type of person as synonymous with a fetish, you're in chaser territory.

Remember: pornography can be a useful extension of sex. A tool, an accessory. But if you treat it as a cheap substitute for sex, you will lose sight of the other people involved. Then they'll become nothing more than a means for you to accomplish your own satisfaction. Do you see how that's fundamentally different from viewing one's own body as a means of pleasure?

So yeah, you do sound like a chaser.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winter 2024 Anime Overview: Metallic Rouge

Metallic Rouge

Premise: There are a robot-alien-whatever race called Neans and they're really oppressed and all that, you've heard about Detroit Become Human you know how it is. Rouge is a Nean who's been tasked by her brother with killing the Immortal Nine, super powerful Neans who want to not be oppressed and are willing to kill the humans that use them as slaves. Rouge's partner is Naomi Orthman and she's pretty fun. Eventually, Rouge sort of starts to wonder if ruthlessly killing her own people who are fighting oppression might be a bad thing actually.

Man what a mess. Kind of a fascinating, ambitious mess, but it's so bad. (If you're a fan, I encourage you not to engage with this review, you have better things to do than upsetting yourself for no reason).

I was attracted to this because like, it's focused on two women with really cool character designs! And they get to fight and be cool and have a vitriolic best buds kind of partnership! Naomi is pretty charming. The show does often LOOK good, and there's some genuinely cool animation moments, I'll give it that.

However, I realized fairly quickly that the story was a hodgepodge that didn't seem to have much of a grasp on even the basics of writing, but by that point I wanted to see what stupid plot twist it'd pull next. I don't know if it was a good decision but it sure was a decision I made. It means I get to write a review where I can be mean which is always easier than trying to convey how good a show is, I guess because less pressure.

The story starts in media res in a very confusing way. It does (attempt to) explain things a bit in later eps, but you never really stop having the feeling you've just been plopped in the middle of an ongoing story. I think it's very likely, that like so many shows, this was supposed to be a 26 episode show but it was cut down to 13 because anime originals sadly don't get to be that long anymore.

I don't think a longer runtime would have made the plot less stupid and frustrating, but it probably would have made the show a little better and some events have more impact. But rather than cut some events to let the story breathe, the show insisted on cramming a ridiculous amount of plot twists into a short runtime, meaning they never had time to land and you had no reason to care about most of the characters.

The approach to the Neans was a total mess especially. Very badly written for the most part. The Neans are literally slaves. Because of the Asimov Code (literally naming it that in universe is pretty funny I'll admit) they have to do whatever humans say, and most of the humans ruthlessly abuse them, use them as shields when there's danger, often steal their life giving nectar for kicks and leave them to die horribly, the police gun them down all the time, and also a huge amount of them are in a forced labor camp on Venus where they either die from the horrible conditions, (often falling directly in lava or being irradiated or whatever) or they just work until their bodies give out. (It definitely doesn't help that two of the Neans we see killed most horribly are Black-coded.)

DESPITE ALL THIS, the story inexplicably tries to both sides it for most of the anime. Some of the Neans are actually really evil because they'll do violence to escape their oppression! That's so bad, they're just as bad as the humans, they're really mean and randomly murder their own allies! Rouge is genuinely presented with the dilemma of "you can free the Neans and maybe they'll rightfully want revenge and kill some humans and society will ~be in chaos~ or you can just let your own people continue to be enslaved and horribly killed and abused every day. And she's like "hmm I dunno. Both sides have a point. yeah I think freeing them could be bad". Incredible. (Granted it does come around a little in its conclusion when some characters randomly change their minds, but it's way too little too late)

If you couldn't tell, Rouge is a really nothing character who it's hard to sympathize with thanks to her baffling choices, except for in a couple episodes that were genuinely charming and fun and made you think "hmm maybe it would have been fun to see these characters get into some shenanigans". Naomi at least has a fun personality, and I had a little bit of crush before her character mostly went down the tubes with everyone else.

Naomi and Rouge's dynamic could be pretty fun and was definitely the best thing about the show (and the only times Rouge showed any personality was with Naomi and a spoiler character), but the show insisted on speedrunning their conflicts and separating them constantly despite that dynamic supposedly being so central to the story, so.

But really, as I said, the most entertaining part of the end of the show was seeing how many ridic plot twists it could cram in, most of which had no impact because you didn't care about the characters, they didn't make much sense, and there was very little to set them up. EVIL ALIENS, EVIL FAMILIES, THIS BORING CHARACTER HAS SECRETLY BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS BECAUSE REASONS, that kind of stuff.

But I have to leave off telling y'all how one plot twist in the final episode is undone LITERALLY 30 SECONDS LATER because of something a character did off screen. also it's done two minutes before the episode ends. It's so funny I have to tell you.

SPOILERS

---

Rouge pressed the button that frees all the Neans. Then a character who hadn't done much but I guess is the big bad now pops up and is like "Rouge you freeing the Neans was all part of my plan because you activating the device actually infected them with an EVIL PROGRAM AND NOW THEY WILL FIGHT FOR THE EVIL ALIENS!! Rouge was like "wha?" but then the Neans glowing red evil eyes immediately turned off and the brother was like "actually I anticipated it and hacked it offscreen they're actually free." And the villain just leaves without really reacting. Amaaaazing.

---

So yes, wouldn't recommend this show unless you really like watching trainwrecks, and despite how amazing a trainwreck it is, there are stretches where it's just a slog.

(God, this review ended up longer than I thought. So much carnage and crumpled metal to describe. But now I'm officially free.)

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: Chapter 10 Premium Story

Chapter 10

♡———♡

He said 'healthy date' but I thought he was going to take me to another dubious place again...

Kate: W-what is this...!?

We were in one of London's most expansive parks.

The park itself was familiar, but the problem was the sight that unfolded before my eyes.

People of all ages, men and women alike, were covered in pie.

Alfons: Don't you know? It's a festival where you throw pies at each other and get messy.

Alfons: A hit to the face is worth 6 points, a hit to the chest is worth 5 points, and a hit to the arm is worth 3 points.

The pies piled high on the table were not being eaten but were flying through the air.

Kate: W-what a waste!

Alfons: Ah-ha! You're really serious, aren't you?

Alfons: I love to have fun, but I also love stupid things like this.

Alfons: I just wanted to see you like this... Okay?

(He wanted to see me like this...)

His whisper tickles my curiosity.

Kate: ...But what about our clothes...? What if we get dirty...?

Alfons: We can worry about that later.

Female Staff: Are you participating?

Alfons: Yes, please. Two people.

He firmly included me in the count and followed the staff member who was guiding us.

Male Staff: Are you sure, sir? You're dressed pretty nicely.

Alfons: Nice clothes are meant to be dirtied.

Male Staff: I see, that's right! Here you go, miss.

Kate: Y-yes...

As I stepped inside the rope,

Kate: Wah, ugh...!

Suddenly, a pie hit me square in the face.

Kate: W-what...?

Alfons: Ah-ha! You look terrible!

Female Staff: Blue team, 6 points!

(That's right! A hit to the face is worth 6 points... but what's the blue team...?)

Kate: I-is this some kind of team battle...?

Alfons: Well, that's what it seems like.

Alfons: The judges are all over the place, and I don't think there's really a winner or loser.

Alfons: Everyone just wants to get messy with other people to let off steam.

Alfons said, dodging a flying pie amidst the chaos.

Alfons: Hey, you're being targeted again.

Kate: W-where from...?

Alfons: Behind you.

He pulled me in close, and...

Kate: M-m...!?

Alfons: ...hehe.

Our lips met, and Alfons' tongue licked away the cream that had stuck to the corner of my mouth.

Alfons: Hmm... the flavor is a bit off. It's not sweet at all.

Kate: W-what are you doing... in front of people? Um...

Their lips met in a deep kiss.

Their tongues intertwined, and Kate pounded on Alfons's chest, but he wouldn't let her go...

Kate: ...haah...! No more...! What are you doing...?

Alfons: To cleanse my palate of the bad pie.

Man with rolled up arms: Whoo! You're hot there, you two!

Young man: Damn lovebirds! May you two be happy forever!

Amidst the mix of teasing, insults, and blessings, pies come flying from all directions.

Kate: Kyaah!?

Alfons, who had been gracefully dodging them, finally got a pie splattered on his head.

Alfons: Ahahaha! I'm a popular target.

Kate: This is no laughing matter…!

Alfons: Should we fight back? Or run away?

(Well, if it comes to this...)

Kate: ...Of course, we fight back!

(The one who has the most fun wins!)

With determination, Kate swung her arm to throw a pie.

(Oh!)

The pie I threw... hit the face of the person who pied Alfons.

Kate: Oh my... sorry!

Alfons: Hehe, nice control.

Young man: You did it!

-- In the end, the winner was unclear, and we were completely covered in cream from head to toe.

But the strange festival closed its curtain with many smiles.

-

Kate: Haah... that was an incredible festival...

Alfons: Haah... it was the best. Especially when that guy tried to sandwich us and slipped...

Kate: Pfft...don't remind me, I'll laugh again...!

I look at Alfons' smile in the twilight.

(…Alfons, you seem… genuinely happy now.)

Right now, Alfons' heart is here, and he is feeling "happy" with me.

I feel like I'm getting a little closer to him, like a mirage that is hard to grasp.

--Can I hold him in the palm of my hand next time?

(Why does thinking that way...)

(Why does it make me so happy?)

Kate: Thank you for taking me to a wonderful festival.

Alfons: You're welcome.

Kate: Hehe... I don't think I'll ever forget today.

Alfons: .............

The afterglow of the festival, the sunset, and his laughter.

As if all of this moment was being burned into my chest, my heart was slowly warming up.

But--

Alfons: ...Is that so?

A shadow seemed to fall over Alfons's happy smile.

(Huh...?)

Like resignation, like self-deprecation...

His lonely profile shook her heart.

Kate: Is something wrong...?

Alfons: What is?

Kate: I don't know... you just seem a little down.

Alfons: Me? No way.

Alfons: I had fun.

Kate: Me too... I had fun too.

The word "fun" that came out of his mouth made her lean forward.

He didn't look back at her, but slowly looked up at the sky.

Alfons: ...Well, someday, when you want to blow off some steam...

Alfons: Just remember that there was a festival like this.

(Someday, when I remember...)

His words clearly implied that he wouldn't be there next time.

My chest aches slightly.

(When I remember, then... will you come with me again if I invite you?)

For some reason, I couldn't ask such a trivial question.

Alfons: Well, then.

Alfons: Let's do something about this sticky body.

Kate: Huh? Oh, yes...!

Kate: What should we do? I can't even get into a carriage in this state...

Alfons: Leave it to me. I know plenty of places that have showers.

-

The place he took me to was the same room where those questionable things had happened.

I hesitated, but unable to come up with an alternative to walking all the way back to the castle covered in sticky cream, I was helplessly led into the cramped shower room.

Alfons: ...Are you going to make another excuse?

Kate: ...

Alfons: Come on, think fast... or you'll be completely undressed.

Kate: W-wait...

As if coaxing a cat that hates baths, he peeled the clothes off my body.

Kate: Fuu... nn..

Sandwiched between his body and the shower room wall, I realized that the only thing left on me was my underwear, barely clinging to my knees.

Alfons: ... What's wrong? Your cheeks are as red as if you've already taken a shower, even though you've only taken off your clothes.

Kate: Th-that's because of you, Alfons...

Alfons: Hehe... Yes, yes. It's all my fault, isn't it?

He laughed as if praising my excuse and turned on the shower faucet.

(...!)

Weakly falling water droplets wet my body and Alfons's.

Alfons: ... It's all my fault that this is pointed, as if it wants to be washed.

His hands reached down to my chest and pinched the tip of it between his fingers.

Kate: I-I'll wash it myself...

Alfons: There's no need to be shy.

With a last-ditch effort to resist, I raise both arms to cover my chest, but my right hand is quickly seized, lifted high, and pinned to the wall.

With only one hand left, I resist his that was desperately trying to play with my chest.

Alfons: You know, being covered up like that only makes me want to tease you even more, Kate.

Kate: You, ... ah!

He tickled the spaces between my fingers as I covered my chest, and I couldn't help but glare back at Alfons, who was standing behind me.

Kate: Th-this is...not how you wash someone...this is...wrong...

Alfons: Ah... my apologies. I got a bit carried away.

Alfons: Very well, if that's what you desire, I'll wash you properly. I'll make sure to clean every inch of you, just the way you like it.

Alfons's misbehaving hands gave up on their teasing of Kate's chest and began to trace the lines of her body, moving down to her stomach and then below.

Kate: T-there, with your hands...!

Alfons: Shhh... I'll wash places you can't reach yourself.

His fingertips followed the trail of liquid, sliding down her front and then between her legs.

Kate: H-hot... Alfons... ah, ah, ahh...

Alfons: Aha... it's sticky here too.

Alfons: ...But did you get pie on this spot too?"

With a dazed expression, Alfons pulls his fingers in and out.

Kate: "N-no, ahhh..."

Alfons watches me panting, soaked to the bone. His eyes, relaxed in pleasure, the smile that forms on his lips, and his slightly flushed skin flicker in my blurred vision due to the droplets.

**flashback to earlier**

Alfons: – I’m also curious about something.

Alfons: I wonder how I look in your eyes when we’re indulging in pleasure together.

Alfons: Do I look bored? Do I look unhappy? Do I look like I’m not enjoying myself?

**end of flashback**

(...... I don't understand......)

(Why did I think, without hesitation, that he looked "truly happy" earlier?)

(Now...... why?)

(Why does his smile feel so empty?)

Just a moment ago, I thought our fingertips had barely touched, but now our bodies are pressed together, so close.

Yet, his presence feels so distant......and I regret it.

(I--)

Alfons: Now now, you mustn't overthink things.

Kate: Ahh––

I've realized why I'm so drawn to the "truth" of this person.

(Perhaps, I--)

(I'm starting to fall for this illusion of a man.)

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 11

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[horizon-verizon]

Alicent is the quintessential example of what not to do as a parent. In the book, it’s pretty damned clear that she sees her children as pawns and that she certainly doesn’t think that Aegon would make an effective ruler, just that she would make use of him to gain power through him.

Oh, sure, she gives the lip-service that she fears for her children’s lives along with her own and yada yada yada…. but at the end of the day, Rhaenyra and Daemon only went tribal on their asses after Aemond murdered Lucerys, unprovoked, during a diplomatic mission. They were more than happy to leave them be and use soft power to defend Rhaenyra’s birthright. Alicent has no one but herself and her own side to blame for the gloves coming off after Lucerys’ murder.

As it is, if you were to compare Rhaenyra to someone else who almost had his own birthright/power taken from him by grasping social climbers (even if not exactly the same situation), may I present Tywin Lannister and how he dealt with the Reynes and Tarbecks after his weak-willed and people pleaser father (similar to Viserys) let them have the run of the roost. Spoiler: those houses no longer exist.

In short: Rhaenyra was a saint in how she dealt with Alicent, given that Tywin would’ve killed every last Hightower down to the last child.

Sure, maybe you can say that Alicent did believe that Rhaenyra would do it because that’s what she would’ve done in her shoes or she knew that most of her colleagues would’ve happily defenestrated her long ago, but that says more about her than about Rhaenyra. As it is, I’m not so charitable and I’m more keen interpret it more as a propaganda rat-fucking campaign, since for all that they painted Daemon as the devil and Rhaenyra as “Maegor with teats,” they certainly dealt with the Hightowers with kid-gloves prior to Lucerys’ murder.

Okay, so in bk!Alicent's defense, though it is not as severe and obvious as with Rhaenyra, Alicent does get written with a short hand: her body used to compare against Rhaenyra; how she's barely mentioned after the Dance apart from her going a little crazy (George, like w/Rhaenyra, could have given us maids/lady-in-waiting/direct journals that show observations of Alicent at this time as well as her feelings abt things before she ever even married Viserys); etc. And if you grow up thinking and seeing women who become lady/Queen consorts, birthing males, and looking forward to the "reward" of power through that male...you see why Alicent's bothered. Many of us would be bothered at the very least even if we disliked and were a little honest with ourselves abt how non eof it is fair bc it was never meant be "fair" that you can only get power by being heirs or being a part of the family itself.

Doesn't mean that she didn't genuinely LOVE all her kids; it's a twisted sort of thing and becomes more so the deeper they all got into the war. We see her wail at Aegon's death. How she curses Rhaenyra for Helaena even though that's not her fault. Alicent's problem is that she decided to go after a child that would grow up to possibly be an issue, thinking that she is the exception, and refusing--esp by the end with how she died--to accept her own culpability in her kids' death. All of which comes from pride rather than a lack of love.

Once again, I am not saying she was "correct" or in the right, bc she was not. Morally nor politically. But the feeling of having been "duped" is both valid, understandable, and likely real for her. For nothing else, it's admirable that she wasn't a shrinking violet and saw through her desires or took things into her own hands when she saw it needed to be for her own ambitions. I don't like her and I wouldn't if I were in this world and had to be around her (even if I had to grow up in such an environment I doubt I'd be so religious and sincerely traditional, I never believed in God and would want to read anything and thus comes across knowledge of there being different religions across the world...so...) and I like to think that I'd also judge her heavy for how she moves with her kids and pitting them against Rhaenyra, but I also think that I would see her thoughts even more bc that would be my reality as well.

Rhaenyra was a saint in how she dealt with Alicent, given that Tywin would’ve killed every last Hightower down to the last child.

I mean, Tywin wasn't the brother of the Reynes and Tarbecks and didn't face a possible accusation of being a kinslayer. I see your point, but I think this particular thing doesn't quite have the same stakes as for the circumstances pre-Dance. Rhaenyra being a woman, even if she weren't their sister, would still face a lot more censure if she pulled a Tywin Rains of Castamere bc she'd be ridiculed for doing what men are licensed to in any sort of war effort even as Gyldayn and Corlys both have canonically looked at her askance for not going to the Battle of Rook's Rest herself...even with how Aegon nearly died. just as people did to empress Matilda. And the accusations of cruelty, of course.

Also, (pre-Dance, since you speak of pre-Dance...post and during-Dance Alicent is a different thing) Alicent cautioned Aegon from going all out and killing Rhaenyra in "The Blacks and the Greens". Why? the taboo of kinslaying. She also criticized Aemond for killing Luke not bc she liked or respected either him or his mother but because it embroiled them into both a war and cast them as the power grabbing, undeserving party who potentially angered the god as well as ensured any of them could be killed before she could "prove" and intimidate Rhaenyra with a show of support for her sons that really was never going to come but she didn't seemingly believe that so....

[lesbiansandgayssupporttheminers]

Genuine question. In an anarchistic society what do we do about folks who want to hurt and kill people like it's the fucking Purge? Do we let them, because having rules is the opposite of anarchy, or do we stop them because even anarchists can have morals?

I honestly don't think there are many people who live in our current society who want to hurt and kill others but don't "because there are rules".

In the UK, 2 women a week are killed by their partners. Part of this is about it being difficult (economically, practically, emotionally) to leave an abusive relationship. Some women stay because their partners convince them they will then use the court system to continue their abuse, or they will get access to the children and hurt them (in England, domestic abuse against a parent doesn't stop the other parent getting unsupervised access).

I genuinely believe, in an anarchist system with solid communities where we all look out for and support each other, this sort of scenario would be less likely, because it would be easier for people to leave abusive partners. I also think a true dismantling of patriarchy would make this less likely, and I'd expect relationships to more closely resemble "relationship anarchy" and be less closed, which I truly believe could be a protective factor against domestic abuse (I'm not saying it would never happen in this scenario, just it would be less likely).

To steal part of a slogan from antifascists "we protect us". Certainly ask people who've experienced domestic violence if the police "make things better"- for many, the answer is no.

Much of the other interpersonal violence in our societies is driven by crime. I think most people accept that decriminalising drugs and moving to a harm reduction model reduces crime. In a society where everyone has what they need, and feels they have a "future" available to them, there's no, or far less, incentive to turn towards violence. Most people involved with violent crime don't want to be- they've ended up there due to lack of other options, or lack of a way out, or a lack of basic resources. These scenarios simply wouldn't exist within an anarchist community.

We can also talk about the violence done in the name of racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia and so on between individuals. All of these prejudices arise out of, and are fuelled by, the state creating the idea of in groups and out groups. The state, particularly in times of financial or social turmoil, feeds fascism, and fascism feeds this kind of violence.

And these groups are not protected by the police. If they are protected, they are protected by the wider community- I've seen this recently in Newquay, in South Wales, in London, and it happens all over the UK. A group is targeted, people turn up to protect them, often the police turn their violence on the protectors, or at a bare minimum protect the fascists.

Do you think <30 fascists would stick around for hours in the face of over 200 counter protestors if they didn't have a long line of police protecting them?

Indeed, you need to consider the violence of the state. On a worldwide level, surely a large proportion of killing and violence is carried out by armies and the police. In an anarchist system, these forces would of course cease to exist, and this would cause a massive net reduction in violence. This is a basic principle of anarchism, I would suggest.

Ultimately, to be an anarchist, you need to believe in the inherent goodness of people. You need to understand what causes violence, how the state creates a system where violence is inherent, how power leads to violence and licences certain types of violence. I think without exploring this, you can only ever have a surface level grasp of anarchism.

Some people will read this, and point towards the fact that serial killers and so on exist. And I would like to point out that we know they exist, because they exist now, under capitalism. Nothing within the capitalist system truly prevents a serial killer from hurting others- yes, in some cases, they may be "caught" or "stopped" by the police- equally in some cases, the police imprison and sometimes the state even kills the wrong person.

Firstly, I do think it's possible that some of the situations that may "create" serial killers may be different in an anarchist society. But even if that's not the case, these individuals represent a vanishingly small proportion of the wider population, and there's no reason to believe they are constrained by laws or social rules.

As I say, my vision of anarchism is one where communities protect themselves. I would hope that we'd be able to help even the most damaged individuals in some way, whilst keeping the wider community safe. And yes, this is a suggestion of a utopia, you can say it's unrealistic, but the system we have now isn't working for a huge range of reasons.

In many ways, although this is a pretty shallow ask, there's so much I could write about this. I have things to say about the inherent violence in capitalism, which causes so much injury and starvation worldwide, but I think I'll leave it here for now, and if people are interested in hearing about why capitalism kills far more people than individuals ever could, perhaps someone could prompt me to write this in the future.

[patricide1885]

This is just an emotional vent, because I know. You know. Like I know. And I know that a lot of people won't consider these emotions valid because they can't grasp that I try to separate them from how I actually act and my beliefs. All emotions are valid. And I'm order to be the healthiest person possible I have to process them, which means anyone giving me a hard time for venting on here is going to be immediately blocked and I'm not going to entertain it. I empathize with and enthusiastically support the rights of the people I'm about to complain about.

I feel I bring up autism a lot but it feels like such a huge theme of the things I have to deal with in my life especially regarding trans and leftist stuff. And I have nuance, I know how different people with autism are from each other, including trans people with autism, and a lot absolutely aren't like this, to where my favorite people are often trans people with autism including very online trans people with autism, but it's like a subtype of autism that's very common among trans people that keeps getting to me.

And as a trans person I feel chained to some kind of very online autistic trans twin of that specific type that:

Doesn't have the same experiences as me and has no understanding nor empathy for them

Thinks no one should want to pass and be stealth and those who do are bad

Is cringe and has horrible and often humiliating optics that in turn get thrown at me and I feel I have to protect myself from the reprocussions of

That is always casting the spotlight on me as I desperately want to get out of the spotlight

That is overtly transphobic towards me despite also being trans. Like identifying me as an AFAB as if that's my real gender, calling me they, getting mad at me for being masculine in completely harmless ways

That avoids and denies inconvenient or unpleasant realities (I've never heard of this being an autism thing but I keep seeing it everywhere with autistic trans people, especially ftms) even if doing so causes real harm, even bodily harm.

That doesn't actually really fit the norms of the gender they identify as, and don't care to, which I agree, isn't the point nor is necessary, and I think simply wanting to be another gender is enough reason to transition regardless of whether you "seem" like that gender. This wouldn't be a problem in a world without transphobia. But the effect of when trans people all seem like their agab rather than their actual gender in this world is that only non queer people very out of the loop actually see trans people as the gender they are. And it wears on me. And the only way for me to escape it is to be stealth.

And just how clueless and unserious they all seem. How naive and childish. I feel like I'm in danger. Like I'm surrounded by a bunch of toddlers in a room full of nuclear launch codes. People talk about children being cringe so we shouldn't take them seriously, but most of these people are adults, they just aren't really operating at that level.

I genuinely am starting to think that for a lot of autistic trans people the etiology or context and content of their transness is different than mine. Or maybe it's just that they don't really grasp what gender is in the first place so they're just self actualizing in a world that has significantly starker gender discernment criteria (in terms of the social norms) than they do.

And I like trans women way better than trans men in that regard, largely because I'm not a trans woman so I don't look out at them in order to try to understand myself, and trans women are often really good at things and intelligent and hilarious, so I think some of this is obviously a problem with my neuroticism and warped view of the world, but still I can't find many trans men that I can see the beauty of in that way.

I just wish I didn't have to be paired with people that I don't relate to at all and who are making my life feel so unstable and dangerous. I just want to be left alone and be free to just be a person in the world without having to be concerned about these people and what they are doing.

And at the same time I also find myself feeling alone, I don't expect to relate to other trans people in general. And the soft animal of my body or whatever is sad about that. I can't use other trans people as inspiration or sources of information a lot of the time. They are supposed to be the ones out there that relate to my problems, but they don't. I don't recognize them at all. This isn't a point of pride. I'm not like a "trutrans" or anything. They're just very different people with very different values.

[blackbird-brewster]

Thoughts About Tara Lewis (CM Evolution Spoilers)

Tara Lewis is Queer.

I woke up this morning and the SECOND I was conscious, I turned to my partner and said 'Tara Lewis is Queer'. I woke them up two times last night to tell them the same thing. I have echoed this thought back and forth to friends for hours.

It almost feels like if I don't constantly remind myself that Tara is now canonically queer, then maybe it isn't real. Maybe it was a dream. OR maybe it will be taken from us.

The thing about being in this fandom since 2005 is that I've lived a WHOLE lot of life in that time. I have been through relationships and divorces and insurmountable loss. I can't even count how many times I've moved in that time. I have struggled, I have flourished. All the while, Criminal Minds was a constant for me.

If you're newer to this fandom (Welcome!) then you might not FULLY grasp how wildly improbable it is to be able to say: Tara Lewis, a main character on Criminal Minds, is canonically queer.

When the show first aired I was in college, I had graduated HS an entire year early because the homophobia I faced was suffocating and genuinely dangerous. I was threatened all the time in my school. I came out when I was 15, in a small rural religious town. It was horrific.

I graduated HS and started college by age 17. Criminal Minds started around then and I loved it, because I was already a huge fan of crime dramas (SVU, TXF, Bones). It became a comfort show to me.

It continued to be a comfort show to be for nearly the past two decades. I remember waiting week to week to find out what happened next. Or waiting all summer to find out what happened after a cliffhanger. Or waiting each year for news on whether it was getting renewed or not, especially through the 2007 writer's strike when the fate of many TV shows felt so volatile and unsure. I remember watching the Valhalla arc and Emily's 'death' live. As each season came out on DVD box set, I would buy them and re-watch them (This was when Netflix was only dvd rentals and not streaming. Streaming wasn't even a concept then. We all just bough 8-disc DVD box sets and had to change the DVD every 3 episodes to binge a show)

I remember when the interview came out about how Emily was originally supposed to wake up in bed with a woman. I remember how devastating that was to me. Emily was my fave character back then (now she ties with Tara) and she had always felt gay to me and to find out she COULD have been canonically confirmed as gay but they killed that idea, was really hard. We didn't have a lot of wlw rep in media back then. The L Word was a trailblazing show but it's representations of wlw ultimately did WAY more harm than good (imo. I could write an entire thesis about how tLw really fucked up my entire understanding of what it means to be gay, but I digress)

I remember watching the way CBS treated AJ, Paget and Kirsten. I remember following articles talking about why the women were forced to leave the show while the men were celebrated and doted upon. (Reasons why I hate certain characters that are popular here iykyk)

The very first scene with Tara Lewis in S11 made my heart skip a beat. My soul was screaming 'SHES QUEER!!!! SHE HAS GOT TO BE QUEER!' even though I never once held my breath that would ever become CANON.

Here I am, still in this fandom, seventeen years later, and I get to say 'Tara Lewis is canonically queer' on a show that has gotten me through some of the hardest times in my life. On a show I turned to for comfort when everything felt like Too Much.

Because there is something so incredibly magical about seeing my favourite character and saying: Tara Lewis is Queer...and So Am I.

I know people are already like 'Emily was right there!?' or  'Why not make Emily queer!?' to those people I have one thing to say:

Please stop. Please stop and understand HOW important it is for TARA to be queer.

We have A CANONICALLY QUEER BLACK WOMAN IN HER 50s played by a sapphic actor. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IMMINESLY RARE AND SPECIAL THAT IS?!?!? Do you have ANY idea of how IMPORTANT that is for representation?????

Emily Prentiss will never be confirmed queer in canon for many reasons. I have a LOT of thoughts about this, but that's not what this post is about.

This post is about celebrating one, extremely special fact.

And I couldn't be happier.

[thecoolerliauditore]

hey why does third life Cleo need to be put in the shredder ?

genuine question by the way, I don't think I have seriously thought about third life Cledubs ever

girl help I forgot I made that post so I was just staring at that first sentence for way too long like. does she.

but uh yeah disclaimer or whatever that on this blog specifically I tend to speak more hyperbolic and don't care to fact check myself because like 99% of the time I just write words and leave. I haven't necessarily like. looked back at any of my own posts a day or so later and gone "wow okay that's just incorrect" but I do acknowledge that like. I'm really letting the interpretation/headcanon lines blur over here at times and sometimes I'll just say shit. so yeah blah blah blah none of this is gospel everything with a grain of salt etc etc

anyway cleo in the life series in general drives me a bit insane because like 85% of the time they are really cool and awesome and funny and my favourite guy but then there's the 15% of time she shares onscreen in an extended conversation with scott smahor and she suddenly becomes like. genuinely the worst person alive to me I want her prosecuted jailed death penalty'd.

In third life specifically she makes an alliance with scott behind bdubs' back called the "widows alliance" which was based on a promised partnership after their respective partners (bdubs and jimmy) died before they did. Which is like. One of the things I am mad forever about people suddenly deciding everything is Silly when it comes to the guys doing horrible shit because what the fuck, man.

I guess there is an argument to be made for the level of seriousness on Cleo's side because unlike Scott we don't get any indication that she like. genuinely expects to outlive bdubs. And she could very much just be saying words for the sake of it or have yet to completely grasp the concept of "permadeath" (like many others) but I'm still mad. Very happy she ate shit and died right after Jimmy. I'm sorry women.

I would have to rewatch 3L from cleo's POV to say this with confidence but I would also like to add that from what I recall she was also somewhat? dismissive of bdubs the whole time even though a lot of the heavy lifting in their partnership was done by him. BUT in cleo's defense she was distrusting of essentially everyone in 3L and kept everybody at arm's length ++ I'm willing to attribute this more reflective of Cleo's running theme of being insecure in her own abilities than any sign that she thinks lesser of Bdubs specifically.

Post-3L Cleo is epic and awesome in Last Life as byproduct of the fairy fort being epic and awesome and even when she eventually joins GGG it's fine because LL!Scott is the only instance of Scott feeling human emotions in this series but ohhh my god DL Cleo is a whole beast of her own I could write essays upon essays on how DL Cleo is the worst guy ever this mf sets a little puppy dog on FIRE and no one ever mentions it I'm angry forever about it.

Everything limited life onwards is fine she chills out super hard about the not trusting people thing and limlife cleo specifically is really really funny even if she would still stab bigb to death with a kitchen fork if given the opportunity. Her relationship with Bdubs is pretty much un-weirded in my head I don't think they were like. Awful in 3L even I just think that Cleo has issues with relationships in general and self-sabotages alot due to her own insecurities and so she ends up doing alot of fucked up insane person things despite not really being. Bad herself if that makes sense?

Very very shy little endnote it's also like. Interesting to me that Cleo and only Cleo refers to the 3L Cledubs partnership as like. Romantic in any sense. Cleo uses terms like "husband" very generously so I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt here and say it means fuck all but idk idk something about the way Bdubs never reciprocates and instead assigns himself her son the next time they end up together is really funny to me.

Anyway yeah whatever. the shredder.

[valiantvillain]

I think I'm starting to realize that my problem with many "feminist" retellings of myth or history or sometimes feminist fiction, in general, is that they are written by authors who while valid in the frustrations, anger, and issues they bring up in their work are lacking in the nuances and complexities of feminist theory. And as such their approach to a feminist retelling/story becomes reductive and overly simplistic. Men are villains and women are victims. But the sad reality of patriarchy that many of these stories fail to grasp is that even good men perpetuate it as an inevitable result of being born and raised in a patriarchal society. We like to think that the venn diagram between loving someone and viewing them as property/less than human is just two separate circles. It's simple. It's easy to understand. It's black and white. You either see the women in your life as whole people and love them or they are possessions to be traded through marriage. But the unfortunate case is that through much of history and ancient myth, there was a great overlap.

And that's where it gets messy. It's the father refusing his daughter to marry for love and instead wed who he chooses because he's thinking about her future (and perhaps his own gains as a benefit). It's the brother making misogynist jokes with his friends but don't you dare talk about his sister like that or consider dating her because that's his relative. And there are many more examples. Men navigate a world in which love and possession have long been entangled to the point it's difficult to see where one ends and the other begins.

And so when I see feminist retellings that reduce everything to the latter, in which none of the twisted nuances are really addressed, I feel it's incomplete. It's too easy. By making the men monsters we make it too easy for men in real life to divorce themselves from the part they play in upholding patriarchy because well, obviously they're not a raging rapist like that guy. Plus it also feels like we're doing an injustice to female readers by reducing it to such a simplistic portrayal because the misogynist is not always that easy to spot at first glance.

Patriarchy is insidious by virtue of how it normalizes the objectification and subjugation of women. They're not limiting the autonomy of the women in their lives, they're just looking out for them because they can't be trusted to make decisions in their best interest. And so, even men who believe they see women as people and certainly love the women in their lives don't see themselves as oppressors but rather protectors. Their version of patriarchy, in their eyes at least, is benevolent.

So while it might feel cathartic to have our female protagonists start kicking ass and taking names, which it most certainly does, I really would like to see the more complex aspects of living in patriarchy explored. The struggle of knowing your father loves and will console you when you cry but doesn't see you as a fully realized person. To live among male family members who genuinely think they know what's best for you (whatever what's best for you even means), even gently explain why it's their job to protect you, even from yourself. And the aching knowledge of knowing that even as they love you, your lot in life is to be a possession, a wife, a mother. The sad reality is that not every misogynist is a mustache-twirling villain for whom you can hold no sympathy and to ignore that is to give them an excuse to say "not me, I'm a good guy".

[delusion-of-negation]

what's your favorite thing about yandere stories? like what type of characters do you like, what kind of scenes/situations do you like reading etc.

okay so my all time favourite is happy sugar life. idek how to say what's great about it. um. basically. she kidnaps a child. and the characters are all traumatised and then traumatising others as a result in many cases. and it ends in tragedy. and it's just. perfect because, like, there's a movie I also love called the voices (I think genuinely it's one of the bestest movies ever made) and it's ryan reynolds playing a schizophrenic man, who accidentally kills the women he works with, and you never know what's real. like, that movie is almost constantly bright and cheerful and goofy, while occasionally, very very occasionally, giving you a few seconds of reality, of the abused animals in the bloody flat, and it sticks this niggling feeling in your head that you can't trust anything. and it genuinely feels like that in happy sugar life too - if you watch the opening credits, there's a short bit when hands are moving a kid then it flickers to negative colours and she looks scared. and the murder scenes in the show are often covered by the scribbing it conveys panic with, or cuts away, or whatever, so the gore takes somewhat of a back seat (contrary to my usual love of gore) but allowing your imagination to go wild. and while I loved making a goofy yandere headcanon about the silly "____ has fallen" action movies a while back, and relentless violence, and all that. there's honestly no better genre to take the most fucked up person, like pedophile girls with co-dependency issues, give them a knife, to watch and see what happens. and I love that for them. show me something that makes me question my grasp of reality. like that similarly is why I like the film annihilation, and cosmic horror, it's wonderful to take some alien that doesn't even think like us, if it thinks at all, and give it the power to destroy everything. and we watch some poor folks suffer the consequences. a lot of things I absolutely adore boil down to "wouldn't it be fucked up if", as an initial idea, then "yes and... yes and... yes and..." all going deeper, deeper, and deeper into the implications of each tiny detail. that would be my favourite thing, my favourite trope, etc. cosmic will perfectly use that on a large scale, on a reality bending scale, so yandere is, to me, doing what body horror does to bodies, but to romance, sexuality, love, and relationships. you take the "what if organs were crawling inside of you" and apply it to "what if your inability to stop thinking about them made you blind to reality in extreme ways", it's like berenice by poe, the way his obsession is destroying his life until he wakes up having stolen her teeth. like breaking apart something pure and good, and showing you that thing if it wasn't good... but you still thought it was. I think that I generally feel frustrated by how people criticise yandere like "do fucking sickos like you not understand this is wrong???" my guy, literally two of the most famous ones are happy sugar life and of course doki doki literature club - both, very explicitly, horror. it is literally a horror genre first and foremost, romance second. we'd understand that horror comedy doesn't mean "all real life killing makes me laugh", so why can't y'all see yandere is a complicated interaction of genres, greater than the sum of their parts? ugh. I actually could rant for hours. as for like, types of yandere things, mutual obsession in a pseudo-familial way with a side of mutual bloodthirst in defense of the other, particularly if it ends in total tragedy for them and everyone (jinx and silco are perfect, those moments like when he says "you're perfect" as she's killing him I adore, that unconditional love, making each other not better not worse but a secret third thing, it's immaculate). I feel like love is generally seen as untouchable in media, true love's kiss, love will repair everything and make us human, I like when love makes us inhuman, but it's more unconditional and pink and sparkly than anybody with moral codes stronger than their heart will ever go.

[disclaimer: I am mentally ill stfu if you wanna act like portraying symptoms like psychosis, which I have, in horror is always some stigmatising or harmful thing, the voices is cleverly done and it's endlessly sympathetic to him, don't judge a book by its cover ig]

[blackvahana]

the thing about actual Old God Horror, and I dont mean "the horror of the Old Gods existing" i mean "when the Old Gods are horror", is that you have to understand its not about wanting to be scary and have people be scared of you. Like. The horror of a bad trip does not need to want to be scary. You want to be scary? You want to be a little eldritch thing - or more so you want to be a Big eldritch thing? So you bring out the tentacles, the eyes, your knowledge of non-euclidean shit, the teeth, the sounds, you puff yourself up and act real ominous lurking in the shadows.... That's threat displays. That's a butterfly with eye patterns on its wings

There's so many beings that lurk and think theyre scary. A lot of beings i give a pass to because... Theyre very clearly things that feed off fear and thats valid enough for me. You arent just lurking, youre farming fear. You biologically get it, and your horror isnt a display it is actively farming. Cool! But those people that declare themselves demon and eldritch gods and think that some people bowing down to them (half the time i doubt theyre even telling the truth that theyre worshiped in the astral because... you can feel it, but then again, gods hide themselves when the incarnate more than they show themselves) makes them Old God Horror.... theyre bowing to your power and to the threat of violence. they are not bowing to you. if theyre bowing to things you wield and your threats (active or passive), then theyre bowing to the eye patterns on your wings.

the thing about old gods is that they know horror. even just in terms of our plane, theyve been incarnated humans on boats in storms in the ocean losing best friends overboard, summoned to watch buses full of kids set on fire and the doors are locked because theyre pressed against the earth, prayed to as people are murdered, tortured, theyve watched towers full of people crumble on to said people snapping bones and necks, animals have their legs taken out by predators being dragged off to be eaten alive, theyve witnessed all shit this world has to offer whether its flaying or torture techniques or rape or whatever the fuck is genuinely, legitimately terrifying.

the thing about horror is you have to pick apart the threads and understand the difference between a horror movie's horror - even a triggering horror movie's horror! - and the horror of reality itself, and specifically the horror of horror itself. picking what you think is scary and doing that is step one in terms of steps of Getting It. watching what others find scary and replicating that is step two. Watching how the prey reacts physiologically and energy-playing with them to extract fear is step three... step four? you extract the essence of horror and become one with it. horror is subjective, but in practice that means there are various horrors to become, some of which extract fear from many entities, some which work in the gaps those aforementioned dont work in

I sit in the mirror and watch my dead self. hes dead. literally not even a ghost but something that should not exist, existing purely because he incarnated into me and was killed before i died. I vividly hear screaming, the entire Sky's choir turned to visceral, throat-scraping screaming, and there is no distinction between him and all the times he'd watched this happen. in the faces clawing out from his energy i see women ive been called to as their lives are torn apart, i see the reflections of burning villages in their eyes, their assaulters, i hear the sound of boats hulls cracking and bending to the stormy black sea. i see their energies grasping towards their kids as theyre ripped into slow deaths, i see their eyes turned to the sky...... im looking in a mirror. im watching my dead self glitch and distort, rolling like VHS tapes, his smile intercut with his scream-laughing. this is not a horror movie, this is not art drawn on to paper or a comic made into a thriller. he is trapped between moments like being in between film frames, he is something that should not exist except the flickering of reality gives the illusion he is standing in front of me and moving, like film of a an actor played decades post-death

he warps. the skies darken around him literally, and they dont threaten, they dont threat display. lightning stirs and it strikes. he pulls things down into him, tears them apart. he hunts with wolves, he pierces the eyes of snakes swallowing things whole. this is not threat displays, and even after death he lingers in threat. actual, legitimate threat. he will tear your mind to shreds not because you "cant comprehend him" because he shows you things you cant comprehend, but because you cant comprehend him because he shows you things you cant comprehend. he is not relaying frayed, horrific footage to you, he is that footage, haunted, in-between states. he knows, as something that is prayed to, how to enter into the cracks in your mind and get between it and fill it until it is exploded not just on to the floor but out into time itself.

when you are actually something that approaches godhood - a spirit that is actually called, you will be begged, pleaded, screamed at in the people who know your names' worst moment, your name will be written on time and space itself with horror as they beg you to take it from them. it is not about showing you nasty pictures, it is about becoming the liquid essence of the moment of terror, which means not just the energy of terror but also the manifestation of it, and learning to infiltrate the mind itself and pour that venom from your thousand snake teeth into the mind until its overwhelmed beyond control.

We need more people in the world who threat display rather than attack, more people who are willing to say "i dont want you around" rather than going for the throat. we dont need more witnesses to this shit. but i keep seeing a clawing towards being viscerally, biologically scary "gods" when whats being shown is not visceral biologically scary god but instead hollow attempts at being it

[slow-button-off]

this is going to be long, you might not read it and i might not make sense but i need to take it out somewhere so

babyfication of literally ALL drivers happens nowadays, even max and alonso. all over tiktok and twitter.. personally speaking i hate the level it's reached because some fans refuse to treat the driver as humans and reach insane levels of shipping drivers together. ive seen such werid tweets it makes me ill even tho im part of the same generation looool.

it's just that since there's a perception that apparently *charles only has fangirls* and *young teenage girls support him because he's good-looking* he gets the same treatment from the other drivers' fans and media.

lol at them because firstly these men always fucking always admit he's good looking. secondly they prove that they ALL are misogynistic creeps who can't accept the fact that a woman who supports a good looking man (which they'll never be) have more knowledge about a sport than they do.

the constant he's depressed at ferrari narrative is all over the world by now, it's naturally understandable why the media behaves like that no?

i don't know who the fuck considers carlos an alpha male when that guy literally has the most ''i don't know what I'm doing here im clueless" look on his face. yesterday he was almost on the verge of tears on the radio. BUT since he's spanish he's considered an alpha apparently like alonso. alonso doing these tiktoks is considered funny but if charles ever does the same he'll be crucified w the words focus on driving. max gets told off by kelly in whatever clip of a documentary i saw on twitter, and i fully support everyone who bashes her because heck yes she is wrong. there everyones feeling bad for max and understandably so but god forbid that was charles in the clip i fucking bet half the qts from men would be for him to grow balls and stop her from pointing fingers.

at the end of the day it all comes down to one perception that he only has fangirls. which is so so so untrue. so wrong. BUT even if he does, it's okay. people don't want women to enjoy sports. are we not supposed to support an athlete at all?

deep down it's all the men showing how misogynistic they can be, this time, it's by targetting charles because that's the way they think they can reach majority of the female fanbase.

sorry once again this was extremely long charles' lack of luck and stupid takes of twitter have driven me crazy

Genuinely I read all of them and I love reading all of your guys thoughts! It's just if I don't have the brain to respond immediately I just forget.. and I am really sorry about that.

To the babygirlifying can get a bit much too, but with fans overall I am fine because I feel like most of them do know that they are talking about grown adults. Or at least it is somewhat in the back of their heads. But also it's fans and fandom is allowed to be a bit strange sometimes imo.

Yeah, that weird reaction to Charles having fans is so wild. You'd think he was just pretty but trundling around a minute off of the field with how convinced some people are that he only has fans because of his face.

Some of them are so adamant that I am convinced that they only have an issue with him because they are jealous. Also like what do they want him to do? take off his face? It's not like he is going out of his way to look the way he does it's just his fucking face.

It always makes me wonder about how the brains of men work if they always assume that women can't find someone attractive and still hold other positive opinions of them. Like are men that blinded by peoples attractiveness? They can't grasp that someone being nice to look at is quite often just the cherry on top of many other things.

The depressed at Ferrari thing can be funny but like anytime he isn't smiling in a picture it's because of Ferrari apparently. that's a bit much. I don't really feel like that's the media narrative tho. or maybe I've just not seen that stuff.

Overall I don't think that what drivers say in the car and even to a certain extent in the post race interviews should be held against them. Obviously as long as they are being respectful. But a race with all the adrenaline is a very emotional situation for them and I think that's fine.

But yeah the double standard is what pisses me off. Carlos being upset means he is the only one that cares but if that had been Charles the narrative would've been completely different. I hate all of the narratives I just don't get why they are so weirdly different.

I think it's a mixture of he is pretty, he has a lot of fangirls (and anything that women especially young women like has to be bad) and the fact that he is kind.

But it's so funny because he has always been infantilised to a certain extent in F1 but like in 2018/19 the whole thing used to be that Max should learn from him because he is so much calmer and so much more in control of himself. But even though Charles himself hasn't changed that much it's apparently the opposite and it's bad or he doesn't have control over himself.

People on twitter having dumb opinions is annoying but doesn't bother me nearly as much as the fact that this weird narrative about him is also being perpetuated by the pundits. By the professionals.

I'm glad that he doesn't seem to be too bothered by that, like it probably annoys him a little but he isn't like upset about it and he isn't going to change because of it.

I just wonder if the pundits are aware of what they are doing and why they are doing it. and what they would say if they were confronted with facts and how they keep contradicting themselves.

again, don't worry about the length I love reading thoughts like this. I just need to find the time to give a proper response.

[surplus-of-sarcasm]

ive tried to write women so many times but have failed to the point theres barely any female characters in my stories. and im very aware this is a flaw in my writing because i dont hang around women often and the only long term contact with a female i have is with my family members i dont know how to write female characters on a personal level because i can never relate to them. this sucks ass but correct me if im wrong i think its better to not write female characters at all than write a shitty possibly offensive one even if i dont realize it

Hi.

Okay, here's my take on what you're saying. I know for a fact that the most difficult things to write are things/situations/environments we know so little about. And it's even harder to get it right when it's a more sensitive thing, if yk what I mean. A huge perspective shift like this is definitely a challenge because men and women are quite different.

Here's the thing. I'm not trying to pressure you into writing them, but I'm telling you that even if you have problems with them now, doesn't mean you have to give up on writing them completely. If not writing them at all is your final decision, then that's still okay, still your call in the end, but if you do want to write them, it's very possible.

I know I write both male and female characters, but the first time I ever officially wrote smth that wasn't for school, it was with a female protag because ultimately, I see the world from the eyes of a woman. When I decided to write a male character for a more serious project, I realised I needed to research it. And lemme tell you that again, not every piece of advice in a writing help article is always applicable. It's largely based on the author's own personal experiences. They're more like tips than rules you must adhere to.

Please note that I've spent considerable time around men I'm close to in my family, I had male classmates and currently have a friend who's a guy, so that definitely helps. And it's completely understandable that you haven't spent enough time around women to grasp more about them Ig. My male characters are not exactly copy-paste of these men/boys either, but some of their traits and mannerisms may be connected.

And you not relating to them is completely okay. I'm not very likely to relate to parts of my male character's life that come with him being a man, but what I can relate to is what makes him human. There is definitely an overlap in several traits between men and women. For example, the way I would feel angry abt smth would be different from how a guy Ik would feel angry about the same thing. The key is simply to avoid bad cliches.

Again, I'm not trying to get you to write them if you really don't want to. Forcing yourself to write smth you don't want to definitely won't help, and won't create good pieces of writing. But just in case you wish to in the future, you can practice and research and test it out, and fun fact, part of it involves a little bit of winging it. I've done this for like genres/ideas I haven't tried before, and surprisingly it actually works. But, tbf, it's a lot more difficult when the issue at hand is the opposite gender.

And answering your last question, while it doesn't mean you must give up completely and you will never be able to do it, I can agree that no representation is better than a poorly represented character. Though, there is a chance you might be too harsh on yourself, since Idk exactly what any female characters you've written are like.

And about my reblog on that post abt writing women, Ig it was more aimed at people who've never tried or misrepresent women by applying a crap ton of harmful stereotypes to them. You seem to have made a genuine effort, so that's a pretty good thing.

Sorry for the long post, and thank you for the ask.