#i feel like nobody actually likes me and everyones lying to my fucking face because theyre scared im gonna lash out

[135-film]

i dont want to die but i dont want to be alive either. lol.

[thewispsings]

Oscar piastri x reader smau, but she’s completely anonymous and people are trying to find her after Oscar revealed he was married to someone?

nobody ever asked me | oscar piastri

pairing: oscar piastri x reader

summary: oscar piastri shocks the world by letting it be known that he is married, and has been for the past two years

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, logansargent, and 1,017,827 others!

oscarpiastri: vacation with the wifey! 🧡

view comments below!

user1: oh that’s not

user2: excuse me the what?

user3: this is interesting!

landonorris: wait what

oscarpiastri; what?

landonorris: wait what are you being serious?

oscarpiastri: about what?

landonorris: oh i don’t know maybe you having a WIFE???

oscarpiastri; yes i do have a wife!

landonorris: WHAT THE FUCK

user4: oh so oscar not joking?...

user5: feeling like lando rn because what the fuck???

user6; this just ruined my day

maxverstappen1: i knew you were lying about SOMETHING

oscarpiastri: ive never lied to anyone, nobody ever asked me if i had a wife

maxverstappen1; that’s….fair

user7: THATS NOT FAIR??? OSCAR WTF?? YOU CANT JUST SPRING THIS ON PEOPLE???

charles_leclerc: nice pictures oscar!!!!

charles_lelcerc: wait a minute...

charles_leclerc: wife????

charles_leclerc: what?? what? what??

charles_leclerc: i am so bamboozled right now!

charles_leclerc: am i walking the prank? i feel like i am walking the prank

oscarpiastri: no you aren't walking the prank? whatever that means? ive been married for a little over two years now!

user8: TWO YEASR??? LIKE 730 DAYS??????

user9: no you guys actually dont understand, this is driving me crazy?

user10: this is SUCH an oscar thing to do tho.. like randomly announcing thats hes been married for 2 years??

user11: he took oscar core to a whole new level

user12: my heart just broke

user13: you should've announced that you had a gf first, my heart cant take this

danielricciardo: i'm a little late, don't know whats going on..so? congratulations? my condolences?

oscarpiastri: thank you daniel!!

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 691,616 others!

oscarpiastri: some more pictures of the wife since you all seem so curious! here’s my wife, yn, and her book store 🧡

view comments below!

user14: YN!!!! WE GOT HER NAME

user15: HALLELUJAH

user15: yn is a beautiful name

user16: HER bookstore?? she owns a bookstore??

user17: the way she probably has so much lore and we will never learn about it is so??

user18: we're only going to learn about when oscar randomly decides to drop some info: key example: THIS POST 😭

maxverstappen1: I KNEW HER NAME FIRST!!!

oscarpiastri: only because she's your biggest fan and she begged to meet you

maxverstappen1: stay mad

oscarpiastri: she's married to me??

maxverstappen1: and yet she's MY biggest fan

user19: DAMN MAX

user20: oscar was SILENCED

user21: i need to know when he them, how they got together, and what theyre wedding was like

user22: it kills me to know we will never get this information

user22: its actually so crazy how oscar said yn has been to all of the races so far?? like how didnt we notice her 😭

user23: what if shes been in front of us the whole time and we just mistook her for like a mclaren team member or something

user24: well now I have to go look at every single oscar picture out there and try to find something

user25: or you could, idk? respect that she doesnt want to show her face online?

user26: but thats no fun

charles_leclerc: it was great meeting her!! ❤️

user27: they met her? 💔💔💔

oscarpiastri: she says thanks for the lec ice cream!

user27: he gave her lec icecream?? 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

user28: ive only known about yns existence for a month and a half, but if anything happened to her, i would kill everyone on earth and then myself.

liked by oscarpiastri

. . .

note: thanks for requesting!! hope you enjoyed(*≧▽≦)

[virq-qgo]

Can you give please do SFW and NSFW alphabet head canons for Logan (Wolverine)

Hi!! I am so sorry that it took me this long to finish..! I’ve actually never heard of alphabet head cannons so I had to find some templates and couldn’t find an SFW so please forgive me 🙁🙏 I would also like to apologize that I’m terrible at making head cannons, because I don’t have the mindset of that.. so this will probably be my first and last time I’ll do this 😞

Requests are still open ❤️

Warnings: smut, fem reader, my writing, not proof read obvi.. I also kinda rushed the end so I’m sorry 😢

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Very caring, now matter how old he is gets. Logan will make sure to give you the best treatment of your life. Literally the definition of princess treatment.

After getting the dick pounded out of you, with all of these marks on your poor worn out body. Logan will kiss each mark then pick you up and carry you to the bathroom. Like nobody talks about it so i fucking will, Logan will sit you on the toilet and make sure you piss. Why? Your handsome lover wants you to be healthy! No UTIs or yeast infection for the princess (speaking from experience.) Then you both will have a very relaxing shower together before cuddling in bed!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Logans favorite part of his body will probably be his chest, mainly his abs. He knows how much you love them, and how much you like doing other things with them. Not to mention he works hard for his body to look the way it does, it’s something everyone should be proud of.

Now realistically, Logan will tell you that he loves every single inch of you. Yknow how you ask your parents who’s the favorite sibling, they’ll tell you they love each and single one of you, but make it so obvious that they favor the other one. Yeah, this is how it is. Except yknow he loves your hips. With the way he always grabs them, either from moving you to the side or moving you when your leg get to sore from riding him. Logan just loves how they feel in his hands.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

As a man would, Logan loves to fill your sweet pussy with his cum. And once in a while, cuming on your tits when he’s fucking his hand. But again, mainly you cunt. He’ll fill it up as much as he please and once you’re both finished, he loves to pull away and admire how much cum drips out of your hole and onto the bed. He loves his little stuffed donut.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Logan definitely fucked his hand when you were asleep, taking your dirty underwear from the floor and fucked that too. Not one of his proudest moments. But when your moaning his name and stirring in your sleep, he couldn’t help himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Bro is over 200 years old, please shoot me if you ever met someone who says that this man is a virgin. Because they are lying to you and themselves.

But that saying, in these 200 years, he’s had plenty of sexual partners. That means more experience and the better your pussy gets dicked down.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Logan loves when you’re on top of him. Why? Well, this is the perfect view for him. He loves the way your tits bounce and if you have small girls, he loves seeing them. He loves boobs, Logan is definitely a boob man! But he loves grabbing your hips and since he’s so much stronger than you, he moves your hips back and forth. Logan loves when your nails dig into his chest when you’re on top of him, and he LOVES watching your face while his dick is going deep into you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He is not silly turning sex, Logan finds this time most serious. Durning these moments, he completely loses himself and only focuses on you and your pleasure. So really, he has no time for goofiness, and too him, any man who’s goofy durning sex. A time where you solely focus on your lover and their needs. Is not a man, but a boy. Because every woman who’s being intimate with a man deserves to be treated like a queen.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Now you see the mans face and head, it’s nothing but hair. The whole guy is hairy, and if you’re not into hairy men. Well Logan is not for you. He grooms his face and hair but leaves everything untouched because it’s just so unnecessary to him. That being said, he has never trimmed downstairs, and won’t plan to. Plus he knows how much you’re into that thick happy trail of his.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Logan during intimacy is very loving, he finds the moment where they’re but so vulnerable towards each other. Logan finds being intimate a very serious thing.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

If you aren’t around then yes, he needs to find a way to relieve his boner. Just the thought of you makes him so unbelievably hard. So when you’re away and he thinks of you, he can’t help himself. I like to believe that you guys have toys in the bedroom, so he definitely uses your vibrators to get done.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

So, bud definitely has a few!! Like I said in previous, he loves your boobs, that being said he’s definitely into Breast play. His hands will always be on your boobs, playing with your nipples, sucking on your nipples. Marking them up.

Another one Logan has is orgasm play, now I feel like that he will only do this when you’re not “behaving” such as making him jealous, purposefully pissing him off, yada yada you get the jist. Logan will make sure you sexy time is one of the most miserable times for you, basically saying that you don’t get to cum, he’ll drag it out on and on until he feels like you deserve it.

I am a firm believer that Logan will steal your panties from the night before. He knows where he threw them at while ripping them off you, he knows just how wet they were during that time. So obviously, he’s gonna use them to jerk himself off.

Finally, one of the last ones Logan has it’s degrading. Either he’s degrading or you, he’s so into it. Especially during a rough night, he loves to call you his dirty slut, his slutty little girl. The famous “you’re such a fucking cumslut, wanting me to always fill the tight pussy of yours up. Don’t worry, I’ll fill it up, so nice and full.”

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Whenever he gets hard, Logan will drag you to a closed off space and pull your pants to your to your knees, and push your panties to the side. He doesn’t care, he’ll take you right then and there. Logan is just always so horny for you, but can you blame him? His girlfriend is so fucking hot.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Boobs, your boobs to be exact.

Show a little bit of cleavage, well sister. You better be ready for the outcome. Logan will make it so obvious that he’s staring. It’s kinda embarrassing, especially when you’re around other people.

Another thing that gets him going is when you talk back to people, putting them in their place. He finds the bossy and demanding side of you so fucking sexy. He sometimes acts bratty just to see that side of you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that will physically harm you, he doesnt care if you’re into it. It’s a big no. He also won’t share, so no threesomes. He finds it’s disrespectful and a little hurtful that you’ll want another person into the game, making him think that he’s not giving you enough or not making you feel good.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Definitely depends on his mood or day.. but mainly I think he likes to focus on your pleasure, so he’ll definitely eat you out. Especially when he’s pissed off with something, he just wants to bury his head into your thighs and eat his meal.

But he also loves when you give him head, he asks for it almost all the time. It’s the best thing ever, just to feel how talented you are with your tongue and mouth.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Logan definitely goes fast and rough, it’s how you like it too. The both of you think it’s the best way to do it, especially since Logan has so much stamina and strength. The way his cock hits all the way back.

But of course, there are times where you guys take it slow. Showing to each other just how much you truly love one another.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He loves them, when you both are horny but don’t have the time to take your time. It’s super convenient. He doesn’t care where or what time it is, he will pull down your pants and fuck you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I don’t think he’s cares all too much about being risky. As long as he knows he’s in a spot with you that no one will see, you two will be fine.

You see, he doesn’t care if anyone saw him fucking you. He just knows that your worried people will see, so he takes cover for you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Logan can probably go as many as five, I know once he fucks you till his balls are quite literally empty and can’t go anymore because he’s too sensitive. That’s when you take you chance because that when he’s gets all subby. Enjoy your time 😉

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Yes!! He loves using toys just to be mean to you, he knows your favorite vibrator, sets in on the highest setting and places it directly on your clit, enjoying the way your hips flinch back.

Logan also likes using toys on himself, especially fleshlights that feel exactly like you. Or using your vibrator on himself.

Overall, toys are a big yes!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Logan loves to tease you, when it comes to public and barely touching you in your most sensitive areas or sending you dirty texts. (I am a firm believer that he would send you dick picks or send you pictures of his abs, flaunting the v-line you love so much.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His sounds are quiet but loud enough for you to hear, he moans in your ear when he’s on top of you. Or when you’re on top of him, he lets out small quieter moans. Logan gets louder when he’s closing to cumming too.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Logan’s favorite outfit on you that will get him so unbelievably horny is a pair of sweats and a tight shirt. Gets him so hard, and an instant way to get nutted in.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Okay, let’s be so for real..

Logan ripped, we know what the v-line is like! We all know that he’s hairy downstairs, but you don’t care. Because all what matters is that dick serves you good.

Logan is more of a grower than a shower. When he’s hard, he grows to be 7 to 8 inches. He’s not that thick, but big enough to stretch that pussy out!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I guess it all depends on his mood and how he feels. Logan overall can have sex anytime he wants. He’s your horndog after all.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

He’s not that quick to fall asleep, he’ll stay in bed with you while you both cuddle each other and chat. After sex, the both of you take your time lay down and relax, feeling each others skin and heartbeat. This is a very relaxing time together.

[ghostofthemost141]

Mistletoe

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader

Themes: Fluff, Some Suggestive Themes so !18+!

Third POV

Word Count: 1,966

About: It's the official Christmas party on base and Gaz and Soap are trying to push you under the mistletoe with your obvious crush.

Notes: Sorry if my fics have been coming out slow. With holiday season coming up I have been working A LOT but since it is the holiday season, I figured I'd do a holiday themed one with Ghost. Name for you here is Sunny. Enjoy!

“Do it.” The two accented men whispered into your ear. 

You shook your head in response, feeling your heart start to race in response. You knew the two of them were fueled by alcohol but it was mostly their Brit selves being the sneaky bastards that they are. 

“Come onn, ‘unny.” Soap slightly slurred, trying to push you forward. 

“No.” You snared. 

Nobody else seemed to realize the scene that was unfolding in front of everyone, especially the unfortunate soul who Gaz and Soap were trying to push you forward to. The two bastards managed to sneak a mistletoe into the ceiling that nobody else, but you, have noticed. And the unfortunate soul, that you may or may not have become attracted to, was standing right underneath that mistletoe, completely unaware of what was going on. Or he does know what is going on and is just ignoring it. Who knows with your Lieutenant? You could hardly read the man as it is. 

“The Captain is not going to be happy about this.” You snarled. 

“Is the Captain in the room with us?” Gaz asked. 

You gazed around the recreation room, immediately noticing Price’s absence. Son of a bitch probably went to get another one of his cigars. 

“Shit..” I mumbled, feeling the smirks coming from the two of them without looking at them. 

“Come on lass…just do it.” 

“Get it over with.” Gaz followed after Soap, feeling a small nudge after another. 

“You guys please.” I mumbled, feeling myself get more and more frustrated. 

Who the hell let them get into the bourbon? This was ridiculous. Simon was on his phone, just standing there, in the middle of the damn room. Why wasn’t he sitting down so I wasn’t being put through this torture? 

“Alright that’s it.” 

“Huh?” 

Quick as a flash, both Soap and Gaz leaned back and shoved you with so much drunken force that it forced you forward, crashing into your crush’s chest. Damn his chest was so beefy-wait what? Stop it!

“Fucking shit, Lituenant I am so sorry.” I frantically apologized, immediately pulling away from him. 

Simon didn’t say anything but he glared at the two drunken idiots that were giggling like high school girls in some distance behind you. Even though he has the balaclava on, you could just see and feel the anger radiating off of him. 

“I assume those two bloody idiots have something to do with that.” Simon asked. 

“Y-Yes sir.” 

You idiot, you thought. You have been up close and personal with your Lieutenant before so why was it so different now? Perhaps it was the alcohol running through your system, or it was because Simon was wearing his balaclava that exposes his upper half of his face, which allowed you to see his dark brown doe eyes. You could tell that Simon could display what he was saying through his eyes without actually saying anything. Despite never seeing his full face, you could tell that he was a handsome man. A very handsome man. 

“I-I’m sorry.” You stutter out, realizing that you have been staring at him. 

“Are you always this nervous around me?” Simon asked. 

Did..did he really just ask that? What was he scheming? Or even thinking? 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.” You say, trying to ignore the nerves and warmth inside of your gut. 

Simon just stared at you, making you even more nervous than before. He then looked up and down at you, which made your heart skip a beat. It was as if he was examining you to see if you were lying just by your body movement. And boy was it showing. 

“I have known you long enough Sunny to know that you’re lying to me.” Simon mumbled, keeping strong eye contact. 

“Hmm what do you mean by that, Lieutenant?” You ask, trying to keep it casual. 

“You don’t have to call me Lieutenant when we are off duty.” Simon mentioned. 

“Oh really? Well then shall I call you Mr. Riley?” You joke. 

“Heh. Just Simon is alright.” 

Did he..Did he just chuckle? It was very subtle but you swore you heard it. 

“Oh alrighty then, Simon, I still don’t know what you are talking about.” 

Suddenly Simon took a big step forward, causing you to immediately step back away from him. Simon raised an eyebrow at you upon your action, essentially giving away how you were feeling. 

“Are you sure about that?” Simon questioned.  

“Yes, sir.” You were confident in your answer, despite the big beating in your nerves radiating throughout your body. 

“Stay still then.” 

And with that Simon took another big step towards you, and you remained still as he was up close to you. Simon’s eyes wandered all over you, studying your body language once again. Fucking shit this was nerve racking, you thought. Simon’s eyes then gazed up onto the ceiling, but you kept your eyes at his face. 

“Bloody bastards..” Simon mumbled. 

You knew exactly what he was looking at. That damn mistletoe. The damn thing that got you in this situation in the first place. You looked up, pretending to notice it for the first time. 

“Oh, ha! How about that?” You casually said, but Simon could see right through your bullshit. 

Simon stared right down at you, causing you to crane his neck to hold eye contact with him. He was so tall and so big, muscle wise at least. During missions, when you were uncomfortably close to Simon, your heart never raced and your hands never shook. Sure you felt intimidated by him a little bit but that’s because he was a beast of a man. The way you saw him take down an enemy was like watching a beautiful painting be done in real life time. He was precise and knew what to do. There was in fact a moment that happened between the two of y’all that you both haven’t had the chance to talk about. It wasn’t sexual in nature but it was definitely conversational worthy. 

“Simon..” You mumble. 

“Hm?” Simon raised an eyebrow hearing his name be called. 

“Can we talk about..last week?” You ask. 

Simon’s eyebrows went flat, giving you his neutral glare. He didn’t say anything, allowing you to go first. 

“I know it shouldn’t mean anything, it's just..you don’t normally see your Sergeant half naked. On any mission” You start. 

“I understand.” Simon said. 

What had happened was you were injured to the point that Simon had to strip you of your clothes, minus your underwear, in order to pressurize and tend to your wounds. His eyes wandered all over your body and it made you feel something you haven’t felt before with anyone. It wasn’t sexual in nature, but it definitely felt awkward to be half naked in front of your Lieutenant. Coincidentally, no one else was around when it happened. Just you and your Lieutenant. You wanted his hands to wander and touch your entire body, and he felt that you were feeling that. It almost happened too, until Price and the rest of the Task Force came into view. His hand was on your chest and he leaned in close. It almost went into another direction. 

“I just..didn’t know how you felt from that and I didn’t want us to have any weird tension or act differently towards each other cause of it.” You say, trying to get your feelings out there. 

“You can tell me how you actually feel, Sunny.” Simon said.

What the hell does he mean by that? 

“Uh..that is how I feel.” 

Simon shook his head at you. This bloody bastard. You chuckled at him out of annoyance. 

“And how do you know how I really feel, Lieutenant?” You snarky asked. 

Simon then stepped even closer to you than he was before, as if he was trapping you between him and an invisible wall. It felt as if it was just you and Simon in the room, despite Soap and Gaz still being here, but they weren’t paying any mind to the two of you as they were both playing a drunk game of pool. 

“I know what you wanted that day and I would’ve given it to you if everyone else didn’t show up.” Simon’s voice dropped an octave when he said that, sending chills down your spine. 

Is he implying what you think he is implying? There’s no way. 

“S-Simon..” You stutter out, not finding the words for this situation. 

Simon smirked as he lifted his balaclava up to his nose, revealing more of his face to you that you have never seen before. It made your heart flutter and you got butterflies in your stomach upon seeing it. It was as if you were seeing something very intimate of him that you weren’t supposed to see. 

“Simon..you’re..” You pause, barely finding the words to say. 

“I’m wha��?” Simon smirked, fully hearing his voice for the first time. 

“You’re handsome..I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-” 

Simon stopped you by holding your cheek, making you hold eye contact with him. He then took his mask, pulled it over his eyes, and rested it on his head, seeing his fluffy dirty blonde hair for the first time. Why was he doing this? You didn’t understand it. 

“Simon I-” 

SMOOCH 

You were cut off by Simon’s lips landing on yours. His lips were soft, not chapped and felt so damn soft. You kissed back, not wanting this to end. Not ever, ever, ever. You felt Simon nibble on your bottom lip causing you to gasp out of surprisement. Simon then stuck his tongue into your mouth, causing you to softly moan with the action. You wanted to pull away, feeling too flustered, but as soon as you did, Simon held your head and forced you back on his lips, keeping your head in place. Instinctively, you put your hands on his chest, feeling his big muscles through the thin jacket he was wearing. Everything about this was perfect. You let Simon explore your mouth with pleasure, not even fighting for dominance with him and you just let him do whatever he wanted. You dreamed of this moment and it was finally happening. 

“S-Simon..” You moaned into his mouth, which went straight to his lower region. 

Simon couldn’t believe this was happening either. He eventually pulled away but remained close to your face. There was silence between the two of you but it was good silence, as if the two of you were processing what just happened in your own ways. 

“Bloody fucking hell, get a room you two!!” Price’s voice suddenly boomed into the room. 

You thought that would cause Simon to pull away from you but he didn’t. No, he kept his hands on you and you kept his hands on you. 

“Fuck off and go smoke yooself to death Price.” Simon retorted back, knowing that was the booze talking. 

Price just rolled his eyes as he approached Soap and Gaz, seeing what they were doing. The three of them had no clue how the two of you felt and you were bound to keep it that way. For now. Simon’s eyes went back to you as if he was examining you. 

“Let’s go back to my dorm, aye?” Simon suggested, which then went straight to your core. 

“Yes, sir.” You agreed with no hesitation. 

Simon then led you to his room, and gave you an entire night of love and passion. And during the whole time, you began to think that this all happened, even if this was not going to be a permanent thing, you knew at least for the time being that tonight happened because of one damn thing. That damn mistletoe. 

END

[wellthebardsdead]

Lucy: *sighs and dusts herself off after obliterating Marcus and the winged horrors, her cambions ushering all the refugees out of hiding and checking for injuries, thankfully finding none* it’s a stupid thing to try lying to a devil miss Thorm.

Isobel: *freezes in shock*

Lucy: yes. I know who you are, I know ketheric is your father and he’s the chosen of Myrkul, that’s why you’re alive and not in the coffin our Druid halsin put you in after you turned on him for whatever reason. *looks back at Halsin* Yes. I know. *looks back at Isobel and Jaheira* Aylin is also alive Ketheric has her imprisoned in the shadowfell and I swear to all fucking hell shadowheart- *looks at her* If you don’t pull your head out of shars arsehole and listen to me I will sacrifice what’s left of my humanity to spend eternity personally making that wound on your hand feel like a mosquito bite in comparison to what I will do to you. *looks at Jaheira* Now if you will excuse me I am going to start winding down for the evening because I frankly am at my wits end and the next person to test my patience is going to get hurt.

Jaheira: *nods watching her eye twitch* Understandable.

Lucy: good. *walks off to go upstairs only to see Raphael sitting there still, looking at her expectantly* … *drops down in the seat across from him and turns the board around so black is on her side* leave it to you as a wet blanket not to jump in and help.

Raphael: *moves a pawn* you looked like you had it covered.

Lucy: *moves a pawn, blocking his* as I always do. You’re just like your father, can never be asked to lift a finger and always expect everyone else to work for you. The anagram of your name starting with Har and ending in Eep would agree.

Raphael: *shock visible on his face as she cracks his mask once again, jumps a knight as an aggressive opening* Who… told you about that?…

Lucy: nobody, I found out myself. *jumps her knight too matching his opening* I’m good at finding out things, I can do so without even needing a spy like your pathetic little warlock, Korrilla.

Raphael: you… two have met?? *steals her pawn*

Lucy: No, *jumps her other knight and smiles as he takes it* She’s just very bad at her job. The whole point of spying isn’t to be caught right? First lurking in my camp, then getting in my path at the goblins hive, and I bet I’ll no doubt run into her in the darkness out there. *takes out his knight with her pawn* you really should consider better help.

Raphael: *moves one of his pawns to protect from her knight* and that’s why I’ve chosen you my dear. Together we can help each other.

Lucy: *moves her bishop* I can certainly help you but there’s nothing you can actually do for me.

Raphael: *moves his bishop expecting her to move her queen* oh but I certainly can. I promise You won’t be able to remove your tadpole without me.

Lucy: *moves her knight instead letting him take her queen* I definitely can. *moves her bishop directly in line to hit his king*

Raphael: *moves his king forward* and how can you be so certain of that?

Lucy: Staffords Gambit. *moves her other bishop locking him into a checkmate*

Raphael: *staring in shock that he didn’t see that coming* I’m unfamiliar with it.

Lucy: you’re so blinded by the end goal of your ambition and your overly inflated ego that you can’t seem to grasp the possibility that you could be so easily tricked by the pawns you choose. You can technically cure me of this tadpole yes. But not with anything you can actually do. Your magic is useless against it. Your answer will be giving me the tools and making me do all the work in exchange for something you want. And you’re just like your daddy… You don’t want my soul. *smiles* but by all means. Keep trying to underestimate me… And you’ll end up, just, like, that. *flicks over his king before getting up and walking off*

Raphael: *left with more questions than answers* …Where or who in the hells or all the realms is Stafford??… And what the hell did korrilla do to piss her off so badly?

[kittluzbills]

best friends to enemies to lovers with Joe burrow plsss!! like when he got on the football team he became a douche and stopped being nice and that's why they r enemies

sorry it took so long to get to this hehe ily guys, i’ve gotten a lot of requests for a friends to enemies to lovers trope type thing so i combined them here! hope ya like it!

—-----

as it was// j.b.

Joe was no stranger to me. We had grown up in the same neighborhood. I remember swimming in eachother’s pools, having snowball fights, and our little movie night’s as kids. We were always interested in the same things, science, space, and animals. I would come over and play with his lizard every day after school.

We began to grow apart during high school. It was the beginning of his future and though I was as supportive as a childhood friend could be, things began to come between us. I was focused solely on my grades and Joe’s priority was getting into a D1 university to keep his career progressing. So when I found out he had gotten into Ohio State I was incredibly happy for him. I had gotten into Baylor and he knew it was my dream school. We were both so excited for eachother and what the future held.

Everyone always believed there was something between Joe and I, but we always kept it friendly. He was my prom date, first kiss, and best friend. I never knew what Joe was feeling, but then again was it even my business? All I needed to know is that we were friends still.

Before we both left for school we promised to stay in touch and never lose the friendship we had. We had only ever been comfortable with eachother, so we decided it would be best to be eachothers first…..and second, and third. But that doesn’t matter. This wasn’t some movie where the main characters went from friends to lovers or some shit like that.

The last time we saw eachother was winter break of our freshman year. We had been hanging out in his basement watching movies and scrolling on our phones when he spoke up out of nowhere.

“Y/N I’m so lucky to have a friend like you. Straight up no one has stuck by me like you have, and I hope you know I’m grateful.” He said

“I promise I believe you Joey, don’t worry.” I responded with a small giggle.

“I met somebody.” He blurted out. It almost sounded like he was saying something just to say something.

I didn’t respond right away partly because I didn’t know what to say and partly because I didn’t want to say anything.

“That’s good J, is she good to you?” I responded, we were just friends. I shouldn’t have to remind myself of that, but I do.

“Yeah, I just don’t want you to trip when I post her or some shit.” He said, by this time I could tell he was lying.

“Why would I?” I asked.

He started to respond. “Because you know-”

I had to cut him off before it got any deeper.

“Joe, we’re best friends, that's it. Plus, I want you to be happy. Yeah we messed around for a little but that doesn’t mean much. Our friendship comes before anything else.” I responded.

I could see disappointment take over his face. But what he said next was something I never expected to hear.

“You were just a good fuck if that’s the case. Friends or not, I thought you would at least care a little more.” He yelled.

“Joe what the fuck are you even saying right now, like actually. Do you want me to be jealous or something? You are the one who just brought up meeting a different girl.” I was shocked.

“I don’t know how I feel about you Y/N, I mean, our friendship or whatever you want to call it, has always been a little messy. I’ve loved you since we were kids.” He said

“Joe, if that was the case you would’ve at least made some room for me in your life when your football career took off. Nobody was there for you like I was and you know that.” I spat.

I could see his ears turn pink and bright flush starting to come over his cheeks, a tell-tale sign that he was about to cry.

“Look, I don’t know how we got here whether its this point of the conversation or our lives, but fuck Joe, why did you have to do this. Why did we have to do this? I just wanted to catch up and have a good night.” I said

“But since we’re bringing shit up, you have been a terrible fucking friend. You don’t answer texts let alone answer calls. We barely talk. Did the night before you left mean nothing?” I yelled.

We had both promised to never bring that night up. We had slept together, but that night was different. He told me he loved me and I said it back. Sure, we had said it before, but it was always platonically. I knew that night he had made love to me. There was no one else for me but J. But I refuse to even pursue it. He’s my childhood best friend, not my soulmate.

“Fuck you Joey, seriously.”

I rushed up the stairs and out the door to my car with tears streaming down my face. I really can’t believe what just happened. That’s so not like him. Not like us. All of this came from left field. We were bestfriends, then best friends who fucked, and now we’re nothing.

What the fuck happened?

—---

I haven’t seen Joe since last winter break. Everyone would ask what happened between us, but I refused to talk about it.

I was laying in my room since I was back for spring break when there was a light knock at my door.

“Come in.” I yelled.

“Y/N, someone is here to see you love.” She whispered.

Before I could respond she stepped to the side and I saw that last person in the world I wanted to. It was fucking Joe.

“I’m not doing this.” I said as I got up to go close my door before he could walk in.

“Y/N don’t be like this.” He said. I could tell it took a lot for him to do this. He sounded defeated before he even started.

I just stood there and stared at him, giving him a hurry up before I change my mind glare.

“I want to say sorry. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I miss you so much dude.” He whispered.

I didn’t have much to say so I just pulled him into a hug. His touch and scent were so familiar, I didn’t realize I missed him so much.

God, I had missed him so much.

We were still holding onto eachother when he began pressing kisses onto the top of my head. We coudn’t let go of eachother. We both had salty tears running down our faces.

“Joe, I’ve missed you too. Watching you all over instagram twitter has sucked but I’ve been so proud of you.” I said.

“I can’t explain how sorry I am for that night. I don’t mean any of the shit I said. You mean more to me than just sex. I’m in love with you Y/N and I can’t keep it from you anymore.” He whimpered.

I finally pulled away from him and just stared into those comforting eyes I had missed so much. We both layed down onto my bed, tangled in each other's arms.

We caught up on everything we had missed in eachothers lives. We shared spaced out kisses the entire night, falling asleep cuddling with the other.

After we were completely caught up I felt Joe’s energy shift. He pushed himself closer to me and tightened his grip on one of my hips.

“Y/N, let me show you how much I missed you. Please, I’m begging.” He whispered as he began to place soft wet kisses onto my neck and shoulder.

“Show me J.” I responded quickly.

He swiftly flipped me onto my back and put his body on top of mine all while connecting his lips to mine, refusing to let any space come between our bodies.

“I love you Y/N, I always have.” He whispered.

“I know you have Joey, I promise I love you just the same.” I responded.

—---------------

wait i cant tell if i like this or not so please send positive reinforcements in my inbox before i cry. i have been feeling very discouraged, which makes no sense because you guys support me so much.

i will continue to work on requests this week bc there are so many sorryyyyyy

i love all of you SOOOOOO much

be blessed and blessed be

send requests here!

masterlist!

all the love, kitt

[cuntboyprincess]

(Attention, this post will seriously make you question your transition 🥺♀️ For kink purposes only....)

I know that deep down this kink scares you a lot.

I'm sure there has been a point where you held on for a second and thought to yourself "But what if...?"

What if it was true? What if you never actually were trans??

Girl, look at yourself! You're going through these posts pleasuring your vagina, cumming to highly disturbing content, addicted to fantasizing about being called a female and fucked like one...

You REFUSE to allow these "what if?" questions further and completely suppress them, excusing all of it as a harmless kink. Because deep down you're terrified these doubts will take over and turn out to be real.

Because it would be too horrible to handle if it was true.

Because how would you even fix it?? Especially if you already did transition with testosterone treatment and operations. It would mean you DESTROYED yourself and your life irreversibly and IF you ended up living your life as a woman again, you'd look like a hideous one...

Also, there would be no way around facing all these shameful conversations, admitting to everyone you know you were wrong the whole time. Your parents, your friends, your co workers, your neighbors, the people who bullied you...

How humiliating would it be to admit they have always been right about you being a confused girl.

Also, how would you explain to them why you suddenly change your mind after years of fighting to live like a man?

"I found out for good now that I'm a girl...I'm a girl. I lived in delusions the past years and refused to admit it. The more you told me I could never be a real man the more I wanted to be one and prove it to you!

I thought I needed transition to feel happy in my body. But all I ever really needed was to find out and learn what amazing, mindblowing feelings my vagina can give to me if it is pleasured the right way.

All I ever needed was to find out how good it felt to allow my womanly instincts to take over me.... it feels so right now.

I want to stop lying to all of you and allow myself to freely embrace the woman I was destined to be.

Turned out I'm more than just a girl, I'm an extremely feminine girl..."

-No, this would be way too embarrassing and humiliating, not in a million years would you survive going through this ... You can't go back.

It needs to stay a dirty, little secret that nobody shall ever find out. You need to keep lying to yourself in order to stay sane, people not losing all their respect for you and to be able to live with the consequences of you wrecking your body.

So... going through these nasty posts, masturbating passionately to them, very consciously feeling your girly body to the absolute fullest for just these short moments, is the closest that you got now to embrace your true self...

This is what this kink is actually all about.

[crmsnmth]

Bitter Coffee

The diner's coffee is dark and so bitter that it almost bites. The smell of burnt coffee grounds flow up in a steam warning. Don't drink this, it pleads. Go somewhere else. Somewhere better, but please don't drink this. I close my eyes and take a sip. It's hot, it's bitter, it's instant heartburn in a cup. Start the day the acid reflux way with a handful of Tums and a full shot on pink Pepto Bismuth. Sometimes consequences last a life time and you pay for mistakes forever. My stomach is proof of what drugs do to the insides. I am scar tissue and weak spots where the stomach acid is burning through the walls of my stomach. It will split, and it will hurt, but it will happen and when it does, I can only hope that I'm alone. The doctor's will say theirs nothing here to save, and I'll agree from astral projection. I'll sign a DNR the minute you put it in my face. If there's nothing left to live for, when's left to live? I did this to myself, even though I like to blame others, I know, deep down, it was all my choices that lead my to a a body covered in pinprick scars and white train tracks up and down my forearms. Or the circle burn marks, or the stab wounds in my chest, or the spot where the bullet bounce off my kneecap. I take another sip of coffee and forcefully swallow it down. In a few minutes, the caffeine of trucker coffee will hit me. And I will tremor and shake, and lost train of thought, and feel sicker to my stomach. There's an old man sitting at the corner next me., eating the yolks of his over easy eggs with a piece of diner brand burnt wheat toast. I can see the butter already melted onto the break. It drips off and splatters the polished counter top. He eats nosily, the sounds he makes almost sexual. Letting specks of grease and egg and toast take refuge in a salt shaker beard. A tired looking woman serenades the tables with promises of more acidic coffee and pie and meatloaf and pancakes and sausage links. Menus act as hymnals we read from before the sun rises on a Sunday morning. Most of the people are just waking up and I haven't slept in four days, at the far end of yet another bender. My eyes burn from being open too long and I swear that I can see the very shadows move.

Sometimes I hear my name being called, but there's never anyone who actually knows my name. No one cares. Even my own imaginary friend said fuck this and packed their things and they were gone. Nobody, not even the pretend, want to be around someone who does nothing but try to kill themselves by loophole tricks, who bitch's and moans about a girl who doesn't even remember him, who never can see the good in anything he actually has, who is the definition of cynical. I can't blame the friends who loved me to leave. Nobody wants to watch a loved one self-destruct completely, nobody wants to see a man hellbent on slamming into rock bottom, face first, broken neck. Silence. Peace. I take a sit of my coffee and wonder how these coffee mugs keep the liquid hot much longer than the mugs I have stashed back at home. I look at the mug, getting out of my head, because that's a bad place to be when you're coming down and realizing what you've become and it's sick, and it's gross, and it's dirty and I'm a fucking derelict. I have done my laundry in over a month. I want to apologize. I want to yell in everyone's face. I want to die, I want to live, I want to not be afraid. I want to be less paranoid. I want to take care of myself again, but the little baggie with powdery residue says I'm fucking lying. I'm always lying. I am a con artist, and I'm dangerously good at it. Fall in love with me, and if I keep it up, your mine forever. The tired woman fills my coffee mug for the third time. It's bitter taste stays on my tongue. It distracts me. My head hurts, and my stomach hurts and my body aches. I can't remember all that much for the past few days. And that relieves me because I'm not really sure I want to. I don't want to face the shame I should probably feel. The man next to me finished his food. It is quiet again, other than the sounds of the kitchen, the low drone of other's voice. I signal for my check. Four cups of a coffee and an order of white toast. My stomach hurts. It's time to make it home and sleep this off until the next one starts

[double-hoe-seven]

How the AFC Richmond guys proposed Part II

Here’s part two of this because I’m finally back in the mood for this sweet stuff.

Here’s Part I

Jan Maas

Blunt bitch.

Nobody ever said Jan was subtle.

Or if they did, they were lying out their ass.

It wasn’t entirely romantic, but it was entirely Jan.

You were talking about the days you both had while you made dinner together.

“Will you get the olive oil out of the fridge?” You asked him.

“Sure. Will you marry me?” He asked in return.

At first you didn’t process it, you just thanked him for the oil.

You actually poured out what you needed and set the bottle down before it hit you

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

“I asked you to marry me.”

You had exactly zero words as you watched him take the little velvet box out of his pocket and get on one knee. Your brain was buffering.

“What do you say?” He asks with that damn goofy smile on his face.

“I say fuck yes!” You answer excitedly.

Thierry Zoreaux

Thierry knew he wanted to marry you after your first date together

By date number 5, he was already planning the wedding in his head

By date number 10, he was imaging your family and future together.

But he was having a hard time making any of it happen.

He couldn’t seem to find the perfect ring: whenever he found one, he’d always find another that was a little better. It got old and discouraging. It made him feel like he didn’t really know you.

When he did finally find a ring, he ran into trouble planning the thing.

He thought about doing something big, but he didn’t want you to feel pressured. He thought about doing something private, but that wasn’t his style.

What he ended up doing was totally by accident.

He was so used to venting things to you; he vented his frustration about not being able to figure out the right moment.

Thierry didn’t even acknowledge that he’d said it until you’d asked him what he’d said several times.

He kinda just gave a little huff. “I just want to marry you! Why is that so hard?”

“My answer is yes.” You tell him with a cheerful grin.

“Is it? Even if I don’t do some fancy proposal?”

“Obviously!”

Roy Kent

He pulls the romance out of his ass to make sure it’s a nice, memorable night.

He planned a pleasant picnic at Nelson Road the day before a big game against Manchester.

As the sun set and you shared a drink, you noticed he was quieter than usual.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re being quiet...er than you always are.”

He gave you a look for that little joke.

Unfortunately, he used all of his romance points to plan the night for you both and when it came time to actually pop the question, his mind was blank.

“I’ve just been thinking about us a lot.” He says. “What about us?” “Just, you know, that maybe we should get married soon.”

How this man says that so casually is a mystery because you choked on your drink just hearing it.

You actually ask him toHow id co repeat it because surely you misheard?

"I want to fucking marry you.” He says with an almost coy smile as he pulls out a ring that can really only be described as minimalist.

“I wasn’t sure what kind of ring you’d like because you don’t wear them that often, so I thought something more practical would be better.” He explained as he slid it on your finger hesitantly. “I can return it and get something else if you don’t like it though.” “It’s perfect, Roy.” You promise. “I love it, and you.”

Moe Bumbercatch

First of all, he proposed on New Year's Eve.

Everyone was at Nelson Road for a party and fireworks and a good time.

Not wanting you to feel pressured by doing it in front of everyone, he found some excuse for you to come back to the locker room.

He made small talk to calm his nerves so you knew something was up immediately.

This man waited until your back was turned to do it too.

“You know how I want to start the new year?” He asked after a few minutes of gathering his courage. “How’s that, love?” “Engaged to you.”

Your head has never snapped to look at him so fast, but by the time you were looking at him, he was kneeling and holding the ring out.

In his shaking hands, he held a silver ring with a raw, uncut stone on top. He had the most nervous smile on his face when he asked asked the question: “Will you marry me?”

Colin Hughes

How did Colin propose?

Probably/definitely by accident.

He was showering after a game and you were hanging out in the locker room since everyone else had finished and left.

You’d had a date scheduled for after.

He asked you to hand him his shirt and when you did, what should fall out but a little velvet box?

You actually didn’t give much of a second thought as you handed the little box back to him.

“What’s this babe?” “Hm? Oh the ring I’m gonna pro...pose... with... tonight...” He said. His words slowing as his brain caught up with his mouth.

You kind of just stare at each other for a minute after that.

“Whoops.” Is all he says to break the silence before asking: “so... will you marry me?” “Yes, obviously, love.” You beam.

“When I ask at dinner, will you pretend to be surprised? The guys are gonna be there to take pictures of it.” He says with a goofy grin. “They’ll never know you blurted it out.” You promise happily.

Tag Team: @bdffkierenwalker​

[ajxrn-archive]

a few years ago I wanted to go to art school and get a career in art and now here I am a few years later even fucking worse at it. I’ve never been able to do anything with my art but I used to actually try instead of moping over shit I can’t do. I’ve tried to do other medias. I’ve tried drawing poses and practiced anatomy. But here I am, years later, barely able to draw a face. I started to believe anyone who enjoys my art is lying to me because they pity how awful I am. Just like my parents do. I can’t even do the basics. I’m pretty much still a beginner. I can’t color at all, I don’t understand line weight, I suck at anatomy, I don’t even have my own style I’ve always taken from other people because of how fucking uncreative I am. I was an idiot for believing I ever had any chance. Its useless. I’m never going to be good enough. My friend has had so improvement in a little over a year and I got way worse at it. I don’t even try posting my stuff anymore because nobody CARES. Nobody actually wants to see it and half of the time they give it a like out of pity. My friend started posting to YouTube and everyone loves her stuff. I’m so jealous that it makes me feel physically sick. Why can’t that be me? Why don’t I deserve it? I try so hard. I really do try my best. But it’s never enough for anyone. Maybe it’s just time to give it up entirely. I don’t see the point.

[katyspersonal]

When I blew up at A after she defended a person who harassed me and my friends, I apologized to her not even a day later, very genuinely and owning up to how she didn't need my shit, unprompted by anything but just feeling guilty and then when it seemed that she didn't forgive me and stopped interacting, I apologized again and broke mutuals to leave her alone. And not only she didn't forgive me - she faked being cool with me, she has been faking it for like 40 days, she lied in my face that she didn't blame me and only has been interacting less because of "being busy and fandom-shifting" and then as soon as she saw a chance to get rid of me when her ableist fujo friend threw a fit about me, she just backstabbed us. In a vile way, like a rat, walking behind my back and finally throwing me under the bus, believing that she saw the last of me and so she would not have to play the role of "understanding and forgiving" person when in reality her ego is so fragile she could not take the L of ONE negative interaction. Not the first time someone sees me as a tumor on an otherwise healthy body and is desperate to cut me off from my friends/community/whatever.

But when she "apologized" to me, she only did that when it became apparent that I didn't leave and nor my friends were okay with her betrayal, she was prompted by learning that I vented about her in my blog and not by actual regret, her apology was fake as fuck with the whole "well but you can see where I came from you made me uncomfy by liking me TOO much anyhow it is not healthy because online friendships are not real uwu :((((((" and she did not even have the balls to let me react and talk it all out, blocking me instantly after that DM. Yet when I of course did not accept this, she got mad at me for making it harder for her or shit like that. Did not help that she kept LYING. She said Alfred-chan was not the one harassing us because "well I messaged them and they said they didn't do that :(" (something tells me you will never become a detective, A) but when the truth was exposed A claimed that she always knew it were them? Then when she seized the chance to get rid of me without consequences and betrayed us but I didn't leave, she pretended that she "only wanted the truth".

I really hate the ongoing insult for my intelligence like I don't see whats up. I hate how she believed my friends would be okay with her betrayal. I hate how she tried to gaslight about "I just cut off a person that made me uncomfortable" when betrayal ain't it lol. She had ONE job: if learning that I was angry and hurt more than one time in my life was ooh-so-eye-opening, she could have just DMed me that "listen, if lashing out is something that might keep happening, I don't want to be mutuals anymore, bye" and all. Nobody forced to forgive me, nor my friends would force her to like me if she didn't. But she HAD to be a vicious snake, she was EAGER to finally push me off the cliff as soon as her fujo friend made it look like acceptable thing to do. But okay, some people lack psyop immunity, fine. She still had a chance to both apologize genuinely AND to not fucking lie to look smarter. Cowardly rat!

I just hate how strongly this situation got to me. Like... It just comes back to me when I make someone uncomfortable on accident or am rude, because after what A did I just expect that this person will never forgive me. Like, what is the point of apologizing or explaining myself? If they will NOT forgive me, if clearly I just retroactively ruined all our previous positive interactions and now they will feign being "chill" just to one day ditch me, instead of being straightforward about not being able to forgive me. But I hate it. I hate now perceiving everyone /I/ have wronged even a little bit as an enemy and a liar, that will forever have ill will towards me now. I just don't believe in people's ability to forgive or understand anymore, all because of that rat. And that hostility just makes me worse the moment I realize I made a mistake, I just want to block this person, or to yell at them to go ahead and show me that they hate me now. I just wish it could heal somehow... But, unfortunately, it is not something a time heals. It is one of those things that are only healed by certain circumstance and until then it is just there. Like a fireplace that will get fuel thrown into it, whether I want it or not. Maybe my rule to not forgive people who are not sorry is not helping.. I don't know, I just don't know.

[nightsjod]

Since your "Friends" want to check up on this blog instead of you facing up to your own actions of bringing this up and proposals for "discussion" yourself and see i actually did message you PRIVATELY like this should have been. here

you are one of the most self centered emotionally controlling and manipulative friend i have ever had. the fact you keep COUNT of every time youve "helped" me through my "Troubles" and act like i have never once done anything for you is utterly insane behavior. i am EXHAUSTED from it. you wanted to end the friendship and im simply trying to honor that. im not fighting it. there is no point in fighting because i refuse to bend over and allow you to control every fucking thing i do again and you will not give in to see your own behavior EVER.

sorry i didnt want to TRAUMA DUMP on an anon like you so much like to do and try to remain optimistic and positive on my public blog but since you want to air out my own PERSONAL LIFE ON TUMBLR which you are very much in the wrong for doing so, ESPECIALLY using it as a weapon against me, fine. and especially since you want to go into fucking discord servers to claim i was lying about getting help after your messages, and publicly trying to call me a fraud then fine. i will also be public and honest like you want.

i tried to kill myself over this. i sincerely could not take it anymore and i felt like everything fcking shattered because no matter what i did no matter how hard i tried and what i did it was never good enough for you. you could never accept that i had a full time job, i had other friends, i had my own issues THAT DONT INVOLVE YOU and my own ENTIRE life and it was NEVER good enough for you. mad at me because i "dont follow through with plans" like we arent 24 years old and i work 50 hours a week? when have u ever once texted me "lets play this together tonight. lets see a movie tonight" you didnt. you are mad i didnt make the effort for YOUR life. i DID go to therapy because of it. you want to see the hospital and medical bills ive been paying because of it? because i will. call my fucking mother and she will tell you what SHES had to go through from this because she is also done with you and you airing out every issue youve ever had on her every time youd come over and never ONCE asking her how she is doing after losing her husband. call HER and tell her i was "obviously lying" when i said i would get help.

i wasnt going to fight it. i didnt want to bend over and "Just listen and change my behavior" because i didnt need to change. i was DOING my best. friendship isnt a transaction, unlike you keeping count every time you helped me apparently i didnt bc it wasnt things i Expected returned or expected PRAISE for. i bought games for you i WANTED to play together so wed have something else to talk about other than Negative Topics because i wanted you to desperately feel better and happy with something but you COULDNT because you could not stop being obsessed with your own misery and nobody likes being around that. thats the bitter truth. so i said bye because it wasnt worth it and if ending our friendship was something you TRULY thought was the best course of action then like fine. whatever.

so please continue telling everyone you meet every day the rest of your life about the horrible bad friend you once had. who never did anything for you ever because i know you are going to. and continue to surround yourself with equally controlling people who validate your feelings. i will be enjoying my life and continuing to ignore any further messages as well. ok, bye

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

OFMD EP3 REACTION

we open with zheng's crew raiding a ship

"who's the captain" "he calls himself the soul reaper" "i'm not calling him that" zheng is great

WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE SUICIDE STUFF

"you've bested me" camera pans to stede and olu

"culturally, this must be very hard for you... but your last act on this planet WILL be surrendering to a woman" ZHENG IS GREAT. and the Very Confused expression on bartholemew's face like

stede's job is to ferry the champagne dslghskjgs

zheng chilling out and having a nice charcuterie board with the guy she's raiding... have i mentioned that she's the best because she's the best

zheng practically twirling her hair going "omg noooo forget it it's just a crazy idea aha....." she's a fucking genius. you work for her now, idiot

"that's what i always say! olu, don't i say that?" "no" olu's not havin it

zheng "this is a 'join me or die' situation" zheng's not havin it

STEDE PUT DOWN THE ABACUS THERE HAVE BEEN ENOUGH ABACUS CASUALTIES

oh fuck first mate aunty's seen the revenge

stede's running out the room

ooh the revenge is fucked. anyone who isn't a named character is probably dead

STEDE HURLS HIMSELF FUCKING OVERBOARD WITHOUT HESITATION GOOD LORD

he has a one track mind and all the stations are labeled "ed <3"

he fucking bellyflopped into the ocean i am begging him to grow a single brain cell

it plays the music that ed and stede kissed to... and then stede gets onboard the ruined ship with nobody there and it goes silent... i am eating my desk

there's blood streaks all over the walls, stede's portrait has daggers in it

the crew are eating a seagull

fucking scene from a horror movie right there

IT IS JUST THE FIVE OF THEM SGSKJGHSFJG

"where's ed?" "there's no good way to say this, stede, but we-" "OH IS THIS STEDE" archie i love you but please

"just thought you'd be taller, y'know, muscly, charismatic-" "why are you saying that" "...this is good soup" ARCHIE BABYGIRL

"bonnet! good to see you" izzy positively DRIPPING with stank. if we thought lucius hated stede, we ain't seen nothing yet

"frenchie, where is ed?" oh god he knows frenchie's so shit at lying "...he retired" to where, Pirate Heaven? well. Pirate Hell considering what he's been doing

everyone nodding at that, even izzy. i can't believe izzy wants to fucking spare stede's feelings

"you just wanna keep the soft one happy" LET ZHENG HAVE A GUYWIFE!!!

izzy saying HE stabbed stede's portrait and being remarkably unconvincing

and here we go with ed in purgatory!

edward teach, died on a beach

i know who this is i've seen the spoilers it's a vision of hornigold. the question is how much am i going to hate him

he's got a pet pig named ruthie so unfortunately that is a point in his favour. god damn it. let me hate someone

hornigold's got this ghostly reverb on his voice and i think he's wearing a sail as a coat? it looks cool

HE LOOKS LIKE IF MY GRANDPA WAS EVIL

"open up for the cargo ship" ...i already know people are gonna be weirdly horny about hornigold. i don't like it.

"LAST TIME I SAW YOU YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA FLAY MY SKIN AND FEED IT BACK TO ME" "yeah alright alright that was messed up i'm sorry. i was in a bad place back then... too much on the rhino horn" oh god ed's become him. is there generational trauma but for pirates. captaining trauma?

aunty please don't scare fang he is a delicate flower and he has been through enough

JIM AND OLU!!!!

"eu-caly-ptus-es. eu-ca-lump-tus" i'm never gonna say eucalyptus the same way again thank u olu

(shoulder bump) "i missed you" AWWWW "i kissed someone" OH FUCK RIGHT AWAY

they are still so fucking cute!!!!! zheng/olu/jim/archie endgame!!!

"i saw her boobs" "oh ok" "both of them" "ok that's enough" SLKFHSDGKJSHKG

stede's back on the ruined revenge STOP PLAYING THE KISS MUSIC I'M GOING INSANE

montage of stede retrieving all of ed's daggers

aaaaand izzy's there

"we just redecorated" "i don't mind actually i think the knives really help bring the place together" stede's priorities are 1) ed 2) being a bitch to izzy

"he was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying, so which is it?" STEDE KNOWS

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one!" "you sent him to doggie heaven." GODDDDDD

"no. i could never do that. we deserted him on a beach, left nature to do the rest, more than he would've done for us" but it's a dream, so izzy is a lying liar who lies. to protect STEDE

"you and me did this to him, and we cannot let this crew suffer any more for our mistakes" if you told me last week that this line would come up in a conversation between stede and izzy, i would not fucking believe you when you told me who said it

"bet you're wondering how i ended up here" "nope" ed's just standing there like a five year old following their parent around

"you're worried you're insane" "yeah a little bit" YEAH SO AM I ED

SOUP AGAIN

SOUP HEALS EVERYTHING

"ed can be quite troubled" "girl, how ARE you" thank you zheng. how else do you respond to the #1 ed apologist

pirates do not know how to handle break-ups without having a little massacre as a treat huh

aunty has found Something!

"i thought about opening an inn" BLACKBEARD'S BAR AND GRILL AND FISHING EQUIPMENT AND GIFT SHOP ENDGAME PLEASE

and now ed and hornigold are play-acting it out

JEFF'S INN BY THE SEA okay WHY is ed's fake name always jeff. is that a tragic backstory too lmao

ed's little leaf for a pin

he really is just a little kid playing with his dadptain who really does not want to be playing with a five year old

"why are you being a dick" "i'm not being a dick, you're gonna have to deal with customers like that" this is unfortunately true

THAT POST ABOUT STEDE BEING GOOD AT FRONT OF HOUSE AND ED BEING GOOD AT BACK OF HOUSE. ENDGAME ENDGAME ENDGAME

"grown man covered in tattoos? with daddy issues?" hornigold woke up and chose violence

"i never told anyone about that" "but you did. and he left you" hornigold isn't just hornigold or a stand-in for ed's dad. he's all of ed's inner demons. welcome to purgatory bay bee

"and it all boils down to this: you're afraid you're unlovable" aaaaaaaaaand ed has snapped hornigold's neck. but he's not real so he's fine probably

yeah he sat up

"you can't kill me, eddie" montage of ed killing him over and over

man if eddie was hornigold's nickname for ed, izzy calling him eddie has a whole new context

OH FUCK AUNTY FOUND ED'S BODY IN THE HOLD

stede's face

frenchie leaning his head against izzy in the brig....

"go on, bonnet, give me your worst" and stede can't even say anything. and izzy's crying. and i'm crying.

pirate purgatory bay bee

is this a "ed can go back, but only if he chooses to" thing? with ED'S suicidal ideation? i know he does but let's see how they resolve it

"you're talking about purgatory" "no, what's that?" hornigold calling me out personally???

"what do you like about life?" "okay, warmth. good food. intercourse. orgasms." IS THIS FORESHADOWING HMMMMMM

cons: "i don't think anyone's waiting for me" i am rubbing my hands together babyboy you don't know how wrong you are

"pick up my fuckin' staff" dream hornigold is committed to being a wizard

olu trying to convince zheng not to execute izzy and co

BOAT-MANCE

"what is the status of that is it ongoing or?"

zheng: pro for killing jim is you will be single

"we're best friends. family." honestly no matter what form olu and jim's relationship takes i love them

"how would this execution affect-" (caresses olu's chest with her sword) "-us?" AAAAAAAAAAAA

honestly olu if you don't get with zheng. jim might. if they don't get executed

"what do you mean us?" "i was trying to seduce you" "oh" "was that not clear?" "no" i love how even the hyper-competent pirate queen is allowed to be a lil awkward

AND SHE'S KISSING OLU WELL WELL WELL

"towel service! ...it's chamomile!" it's CHLOROFORM BAY BEE

stede's organising a jailbreak!

"i never said [i had perfect aim]" "you said it today" lucius is not havin it

"the entire escape relies on this" this is the type of action movie hero shit that s1 pete would eat up. s2 pete, however, has at least a fraction of a brain cell and doesn't want to risk it. and you know what that is? growth.

FUCK YEAH ARCHIE

lucius ziplining across while going "ohgodohgodohgodohgod" big mood

"where's olu?" "go find him!" uh oh and jim's gonna walk in on him and zheng. they'd better join in or i'm rioting

HE'S SITTING ON HER DESK SWINGING HIS LITTLE FEETIES AS SHE KISSES HIM

"did you know about this?!" oh no she's gonna think he was playing her this whole time!!!

zheng runs out and jim runs in and olu is torn BUT HE TAKES JIM'S HAND

"set the sail!" stede there is barely half of a fucking sail

olu awkwardly waving at zheng and she's heartbroken oh god. she wasn't kidding when she said the timing was bad. now they've made a very dangerous enemy

izzy tries to THANK stede and stede just has a thousand yard, devastated stare and walks away

"you already made your choice" and ed suddenly has a very large rock tied to him oh god oh fuck

"i'm not me. i'm you. you brought me here." "why would i do that" gee i don't know ed maybe because you like torturing yourself

"so if you hate me and i'm you..." "...i hate myself" "bullseye! finally!" i'd say i feel sorry for ed but he did very much do all that shit

"...i'm not lovable" OKAY I AM NOT IMMUNE TO FEELING SORRY FOR ED

ed still needs someone else to pull the metaphorical trigger

only when stede goes down to the hold by himself does he allow himself to mourn

and there's ed in the ocean RUBBING MY HANDS TOGETHER

I'M CRYING

stede pulls the cover off ed's face and in the dream ed suddenly starts to struggle for air!!!!!

HIS FINGER'S TWITCHING

stede's crying i'm crying

god it's like a "come here" gesture i'm going insane and also crying

"I'M HERE!" AND THE ROPE FALLS OFF ED'S WAIST AND I HAVE TO PAUSE AND SOB LOUDLY!!!!!!

THE LITTLE MERSTEDE!!!!!!!

AND ED WAKES UP!!!!!!!

end credits sequence is just the sun shining through the water. i really thought it was gonna be ed sitting up and headbutting stede in the face

[mrstsung]

Me at mk12/mk1 shang:

Baby you did no wrong. The narrative does you wrong. Tells us you can never be forgiven yet other characters do horrible shit (maybe even worse) and get off scott free cuz the narrative and story told you to hate him. Instead of using your brains to think for once in your god damn lives. Calling shang lazy because he's poor,down on his luck trying to survive in this game. Ableist shitlords who tell poor people and minority groups to "put in honest work and youll get somewhere" or "shang tsung is always a liar" when a supposed "good version exists"?! Are you shitting me?! He deserve nice things. Every excuse i see seems to be wanting to demonize a character that in the story actually didn't deserve it. And by all means is valid in their anger. Shang tsung deserves better. But most of all he deserves the heads of those responsible for giving him a wretched life. So fuck nrs and fuck liu kang stans.

You deserve so much more. Shang tsung stans,my fellow tsimps. Please do him actual justice. That doesn't involve shipping him with everyone on the roster. You know actually write something worth a lick.

Also Me at mk12/mk1 liu kang and anyone who justifies him in the narrative now:

That's not my liu kang and honestly liu should have stayed dead.

Nah i won't apologize.

Hating on this man for the predicaments that you gaslight him on in a situation where liu kang has every fucking means and power to actually change shit or ya know stand up to his superiors. Does nothing. Nobody's calling out these god/titans. And look where that gets our faves.

So liu kang is just as at fault if not more.

You dont give him nearly as much shit as you give raiden as a God and yet unlike raiden

LIU KANG DESERVES TO GET FUCKING YELLED AT,CALLED OUT AND SOME FUCKING CONSEQUENCES FOR HIS BLUNDERS. but yet....he doesn't really. Just sad kitty mew mew faces and a slap on the wrist.

Meanwhile shang tsung has to pay for crimes he did WHILE HE WAS TRYING TO SURVIVE AND ACTUALLY FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE PROBLEMS.

Dont give that "oh but evil shang" did what? Whos to say it wasn't the same shit? But instead of God liu kang,it was raiden? So same shit. Plus like i said a good shang exists. So....what is the actual excuse to not feel bad for shang. Even a lil bit?

So same shit different god. Nothing got changed. Nothing worth of lick to the story actually happened.

So what did we actually do differently that was worth it?

Nothing.

Like how am i supposed to love these supposed "good guys" but all they do is follow orders,not question shit,follow narrative,and run around like bumbling idiots? How am i supposed to root for someone who legitimately ruined the lives of others by not actually helping.

If gods actually can do all this shit in mks world. Like they say. If these beings are oh so powerful. Then show it. Because if not. Then they are just as flawed and are no better then the supposed mortals.

Gods in mk use mortals as cattle for their own amusement would be the narrative that mk needs so desperately. And for shang tsung of all people to call that shit out and actually do something about it and do a NOBLE DEED. Would be fucking amazing.

But nope y'all want your boring stale unseasoned trope of "uwu evil guy to beat up because me good guy cant possibly be an asshole in the wrong uwu"

What drove shang to evil....is the lack of actually love and care from someone that was supposed to protect him. He had a hard time trusting others. So.....help him trust again? Help him and guide him better? Maybe he needs a lil bit different teaching technique? He obviously didn't take pleasure in lying or stealing or selling to make ends meet. Obviously there was a reason. Whos to say the people wouldn't find any excuse to hate shang even if he was making an honest living? Whos to say that they wouldn't find a way to other him in the narrative as some of y'all seem to be doing?

So yeah nothing changed.

same shit. Different god. That's all that fucking changed. Period.

It's a mid game. And thats me being very very generous. If shang wasn't in it and used as fucking sale bait. I bet you it wouldn't even get off half the fucking attention it's gotten. And even then it's waning as we speak. (Good)

Say what you want but there is no valid reason to hate shang tsung. You can say he's not your fave. You can say he's done deliciously cold Blooded shit. I'd agree with you.

But dont ever say it was for no reason. He has every right to fuck the gods up.

This man is a survivor of a game that was rigged from the start.

And by god he still despite taking unnecessary L's . He stays winning because i feel he's more popular than any other character on the roster. Simply by being the lovely bastard he is.

People would argue that sub zero or scorpion are the best. Not anymore. They aint even the right ones.

Kenshi is only popular because pretty guy lewis tan(he's cute but by god fans of him are irritating) plays him and people want anime sword dude. Outside of that niche what does he actually have to offer the narrative and story beyond his part. Nothing. Unpopular opinion but...His son was cooler anyways.

Johnny cage is cool but only in small doses otherwise he's insufferable. And he's even mid tier in mk12/mk1. That jean claude van damme skin is the only reason people came back for johnny and i genuinely feel that was also a sale bait. Because they knew they couldn't beat tekkens sales nor street fighter. And had to rush shit out to even be noticed.

It reeks of "notice me younger generation. We still have the cool toys." It's desperate for the glory days that never will come.

People are tired of the mediocre.

You had an opportunity to actually shake shit up. But nope nrs just wants an injustice game so bad but have to appease the impatient mk fans. I say this as a long time mk fan. We are our own worst enemy.

But enough venting.

I'll get back to shang tsung posting soon.

Some actual good food.

Just lemme simmer down and cook a bit.

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Brians mom/sister scene is now up ‘OH FUCK YOU BITCH! Sidenote: he looks really fucking good. His life might be falling a part but he still looks good. Respect. Oh no, his stupid mom. Oh fuck you too. What kind of family is this? This is horrible, no wonder he is fucked up on drugs and alcohol and fucking everyon- actually nevermind that last one could just be a preference, fuck, this man would’ve died in 2020 lockdown. Wait, I’m getting distracted. Oh no this is hurting me. *pauses tv* DID YOU SEE THAT HESITATION! You could tell he was about to tell her off but he had to fully push himself to say fuck you to her because he’s still just a little kid inside. I will start a riot for him. And him only. Oh and my boy Elliot. This guy did not have to act this much in this scene because this all HURT’ (i have no clue who Elliot is btw when i asked he just went ‘oh you know *smacked his fist to his chest* my boy’) ‘SEE TED AND BRIAN HAVE POTENTIAL! Oh teddy, he is in love how do you not know!’ He is now sitting with crossed fingers and looking up in the ceiling ‘please no Ethan, please no Ethan. OH MY GOD! OH MY! Ha, a friend of his uncles..good one Justin, don’t you mean the love of his life? DID THE KID JUST SAY THE F BOMB AGAIN?! PUNCH HIM JUSTIN. HE WOULDVE PAYED HIM! SEE! EVEN NOW HE KNOWS THAT BRIAN IS THE BEST. *pauses tv again* JUSTIN WENT TO GET THE KID TO ADMIT HES LYING?! How are you gonna do that and then look me in the face and say you don’t care for him? HOW DARE HE WEAR HIS BRACELET! Justin, BEAT HIS ASS! It is your time to start throwing punches!’ ‘JUSTIN! CARL! DEBBIE!!! HE SAW THE BRACELET AND IMMEDIATELY WENT TO CARL!!! Of course Justin would know it has Brian’s initials and where he bought it! Totally normal. EXACTLY DEBBIE SHAME ON THEM! Now say that to his mom next! Aw he gave Justin the bracelet, i have never in my life cared this much about a bracelet’ ‘oh for fucks sake they’re actually gonna have a kid together? SPERM BANK! The kid can always find out who the dad is later in life. This is a recipe for disaster’ ‘HE IS SHOOTING UP! OH MY GOD DUDE IS PUTTING DRUGS IN HIS TUSHY!’ Anyway thee Britin scene is up! ‘AHHHHHH he took the bracelet back to him! LOOK HOW BRIAN IS LOOKING AT HIM! HE MISSES HIM! HE LOVES HIM. Makes me wonder how many times Justin tied up the bracelet for him *pauses tv and starts waving his hands around Britin* you see this? DO. YOU. SEE. THIS? THAT! Is called tension. *says it so that he basically pronounces every letter* SEXUAL TENSION! *hits play* They are about to fuck! Brian is gonna slam him into that wall and they are gon- BRIAN NO! WHY WOULD YOU REMIND HIM OF THE EXISTENCE OF THE ONE PERSON NOBODY WANTS TO BE REMINDED OF?! Even Justin looked disappointed at the reminder! This is pure bullsh- did he just toss the bracelet? *rewinds* HE DID! LOOK *rewinds it again while point at the tv* so hold the fuck up. You’re telling me, he stood there and let Justin tie a bracelet on his wrist only for him to take it off and toss it the second Blondie left and i’m supposed to pretend that the reason for that is not just so that he could feel his Blondies touch? Just so that he could have him for one more second? BUT WHY TAKE IT OFF? Is he mad that he reminded him of *makes a face like he just smelled rotten eggs* him? Or is he just not feeling it right now?’ Now usually he would go outside after an episode but he is on a time crunch so he immediately went to ep 5. He has physical therapy today and I’m honestly scared that it was a bad idea to watch this before he went.

He’s still just a little kid inside. I will start a riot for him. I am sobbing right now, he totally gets Brian.

I have never in my life cared this much about a bracelet. LOL so true.

DUDE IS PUTTING DRUGS IN HIS TUSHY. DYINGGGGGGG.

The sexual tension of that scene is so thick it can only be cut with a knife.

i’m supposed to pretend that the reason for that is not just so that he could feel his Blondies touch - MMHMM. EXACTLY.

(Saying a prayer for his PT…)

[theomnicode]

Saitama versus Mirror S

CW: Graphic depictions of violence, gore, blood, near death experiences

This is an older headcanoe of mine pre-cosmic Garou, so take it with grain of salt about what could've happened if Saitama faced this kind of enemy.

Read on archive of our own

--

Saitama stares impassively at his opponent, Mirror S, glancing at the fallen S-rank heroes around him. This enemy must be pretty tough if he managed to beat all these heroes. 

He steps into a stance, stating nonchalantly “Alright, let's get this over with. Come on,” and dashes towards the shining Mirror S. He's not concerned about the smirk that adorns the villain's face as he preps for a punch.

He is concerned about the sudden shout from a broken Genos that tells him to stop what he's doing though, however it's too late; Mirror S is going to be shattered to billion pieces like his namesake as his punch connects with its chest.

Except–

“Wait. He didn't explode. My punch didn't...work?” 

Confusion.

“SENSEI, MOVE AWAY FROM HIM!” 

Panic

“Huh? Genos, what–”

A stabbing, indescribable pain restarts his brain and he looks down at his abdomen, finding the still smirking Mirror S’s arm protruding through his stomach. Blood pounds in his ears and he vaguely registers Genos shriek of “SENSEI!” in the background. The enemy moved just as fast as he does and punched just as hard as he did. How-

“I have the ability to mirror everyone's powers and now, your abnormal strength is mine, ku ku ku.” Mirror S arrogantly supplies and pushes Saitama away roughly, blood gushing from the hole in his stomach. The villain now looks like Saitama himself, except for the black, gleaming eyes and the sheen of his skin.

‘Oh, I see, that's how…’, he thinks as he collapses on his side, pain and shock lancing through his body. Nobody had been able to even put a scratch on him in years so he had forgotten what actual pain felt like, so certain of his invincibility. But this is far worse than anything he had ever felt before, it felt like–

‘Am I dying? Is this how it feels like?’ He can’t do anything except hold his stomach and try not to move, else paralyzing pain courses through his gut.

Mirror S turns around with a flourish, brandishing his bloodied fist in the air like a red glove. “Now that I am the strongest being in this universe, nobody can stop me. I am invincible, I AM GOD INCARNATE!” He postures.

Genos makes a futile attempt of crawling towards Saitama's prone body. It is difficult without any limbs to use. “S-Saitama-sensei…”, his breath catches when he sees the extent of the damage and the growing puddle of blood. “Shit. I should have warned you sooner. I’m so sorry sensei, because of me you’re–wait, don’t try to speak sensei, save your strength, we can still–”

“It's ok Genos…” It's not ok, his body contorting from the pain. He's lying through his teeth, but he doesn’t want to make Genos feel like it’s his fault. He had a tendency to beat himself up for any mistakes he made. He feels cold, it's hard to breathe and his eyes droop. He could almost taste the kiss of death.

‘Fuck, I'm sorry Genos. I fucked up big time’, he thinks bitterly.

Saitama hears footsteps stomp near him. “Now that I am this mighty, I think I shall do some clean up duty. This place is such a mess. Starting with–” a crunching sound and Genos gasps in pain and Saitama's heart stops, “this really annoying cyborg right here. I wonder how much force I need to use to break your spine. It’ll be fun to test my new limits.” Grinding noise and Genos lets out a bloodcurdling scream.

‘Don't touch him, I will kill you.’ Saitama feels his body grow inexplicably warmer. His heart pounds faster. The searing pain starts to lessen and his body feels stronger than a minute ago. He needs to stand up and fight and stop this monster, he has to. His body starts to rise from the floor. ‘I can do this, this is nothing.’ Fire lits up in his dark brown eyes.

Mirror S laughs as he continues to grind his boot against Genos’ neck and choking him. “Hehe this overwhelming strength is pretty fun, I wonder what else this guy has the capacity to do–wait, aren’t you supposed to dead?” He suddenly exclaims as he turns back towards Saitama who is suddenly standing up, allowing Genos to turn his head and stare at Saitama, wide-eyed.

“Serious Series…” Saitama pulls back his right fist.

“Wait, you're supposed to be powerless, I absorb–”

“Serious Punch!”

Mirror S shatters into glittering dust particles.

Saitama stares angrily at the corpse. “Fuck around and find out.”

Genos gapes at him.