#i feel like maybe I’m setting myself up to be harassed

[enbyleighlines]

Super touchy subject buuuut…

I’m unsure if this is a recent trend or I’m just getting exposed to it now, but I’m kinda sad about how much people are dumping on the “fantasy racism” trope.

Like I know the trope has problems but I also believe that it still has value.

The main arguments are that, 1. It usually doesn’t do a good job of portraying IRL racism due to the oppressed group usually being animalist, possessing superpowers, or overall just being a complete different species (think the x-men or zootopia), and 2. What’s the point of including racism in a fantasy story if you don’t have to?

And I’m not going to argue with the first point because it’s completely valid. It IS incredibly problematic.

The second point assumes that all fantasy stories are meant to be escapist fiction, which I disagree with. Fantasy stories can be escapist, but they don’t HAVE to be. Personally, my favorite fantasy stories involve forbidden gay or lesbian romances set in medieval-inspired times. For me, the appeal is that it feels familiar, yet removed enough from my life that the sympathy pain I feel is cathartic rather than overwhelming. Different stories appeal to different people for different reasons.

And again, I believe that, despite the inherent problematic nature of the fantasy racism trope, it still has value.

I am currently reading the first of a trilogy called The Broken Earth by N. K. Jemisin, and oh boy. The fantasy racism isn’t just a feature of the series; it’s the core theme. The oppressed group, called the oregenes, have the terrifying ability to manipulate thermal and kinetic energy in order to cause seismic events. They have this power from birth, and have to learn to control it at a young age, lest they slaughter people by complete accident. As such, they are treated in such horrific ways that I constantly find myself nauseated by reading the book.

They are even called by a slur, which despite being a complete made-up word, I find myself hesitant to type, because it is a clear reference to the n-word.

Is this a problematic use of fantasy racism? You can make the argument that, yes, because the people of the world have a legitimate reason to fear and oppress the oregenes. All stereotypes about certain ethnic groups being more dangerous or more prone to commit crimes are complete nonsense. But I feel like it makes the message even more abundant: Even if all the stereotypes are true, even if a group of people do pose a higher theoretical threat, that STILL doesn’t justify oppression.

Plus, isn’t it also a bit of a power fantasy? Isn’t that why so many queer folks are monsterfuckers? Don’t we see ourselves in the monster?

And yes, some people find empowerment in saying, “no, I am not a monster.” But some other people find empowerment in saying “so what if I am a monster? Am I not still deserving of love, respect, and humanity?”

I think we need to take a more nuanced approach. Fantasy racism works best, in my opinion, when it isn’t a one-to-one comparison to any one minority group. Rather, it works best when it functions as a theoretical thought experiment on the nature of prejudice as a whole. Yes, the oppressed group in a story might be a different species, with a completely different biology, but instead of thinking of it in terms of “real life racial/ethnic groups are all part of the same species, and therefore this portrayal of racism is irredeemably flawed,” we can ask questions like, “how does this explore how different groups might have opposing needs? What problems arise and what solutions can be found?”

It may be exaggerated, and it may not always line up with real life situations, but it’s still a valuable exercise on the nature of prejudice.

Sometimes, stripping abstract themes from their real-world contexts allows us to look at them with fresh eyes, to deepen our understanding while keeping that protective barrier of fantasy in place.

[vroomvro0mferrari]

LN4 | Panic at the Disco

Summary: When you call your brother to pick you up from the club, it's his best friend who answers.

Lando Norris x Fewtrell!Reader

WC: 1.3K

Warnings: Maybe slight panic attack, insinuated sexual harassment/assault

Part 2

Masterlist

You rush through the club in a hurry, bumping into God knows how many people as you search for the exit. The hot, stuffy air makes it even more difficult to breathe as you keep pushing through the crowd. You can feel the wetness of your tears run down your cheeks as you reach the exit, nearly running into the bouncer checking IDs outside. You stand close to him as you wipe your cheeks and sniffle, trying to calm yourself down while you rummage through your purse in search of your phone. Taking a deep breath, you call your brother.

You wait impatiently as the phone rings. He doesn’t answer, so you call again. And again. Eventually, after three tries, the phone is picked up. 

“Hello? Max?” You say rushedly.

You hear some noise on the other side. In your frenzy, you don’t realise it’s not your brother, not from the mere grumpy hello the phone is answered with.

“Can you come pick me up? Please?” The sheer panic you’re experiencing is clear in your voice. Lando can even hear your sniffling through the phone as you wipe your hand under your nose. 

“Y/N? Is that you? Are you crying?” He asks, much more awake now as he sits up from his position on the couch.

“Who’s this? Lando?” You realise now that you hear him speak; it's your brother’s best friend – to your frustration.

“Yes.”

“Why are you answering my brother’s phone?” You ask annoyed.

“We were just hanging out, he fell asleep and—”

“You know what – it doesn’t matter. Can you tell him to come pick me up please?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m not sure, uhm, it’s called Palace, I think.” You sniffle. “You’ll send him to get me?” You ask hopefully.

“I’ll come get you myself. I’m just putting my shoes on, I’ll be there in a bit,” he says, putting your brother’s phone on speaker mode and stepping into his shoes.

“Lando you don’t have to come, just tell Max to come pick me up, please. I need him right now,” you say, frustrated that Lando wants to come. He’s not who you want and need at this moment; you need someone who you can trust, who’ll protect you and make you feel safe after what just happened. You need your brother, a close friend, or maybe even your father, but not Lando. Why can’t he understand that? You can feel your tears welling up again in frustration.

Lando ignores you, however. “Are you safe right now? You should try to find a group of people or something, stick to them until I get there, okay?”

“Lan—” He cuts you off, in a rush to get to you. 

“Do you want to stay on the phone? I’m getting in the car right now, I’ll be there in, like, eight minutes.”

“Lando, just send Max, please.”

“I’m already in the car. Do you want me to stay on the line, or not?” You hear the car revving in the background.

You sigh. Nevertheless, you’re relieved he’s on his way and you don’t have to stay here much longer. “That’s not necessary, Lando. I’m with the bouncer right now. Just come quick, please?” You’ve given up on the idea that your brother might come, Lando’s very much set in his ways.

“Of course, I’ll be right there,” Lando says firmly before hanging up.

Although you and Lando aren’t the best of friends, you get along well enough. Regardless, you get caught up in discussions quite regularly; both of you are passionate and stubborn in your opinions – it rarely happens that you and Lando do not end up being separated by your brother or a mutual friend. However, that you know exactly how to push each other's buttons doesn’t mean Lando doesn’t care about you. In fact, the opposite is true. Although he would never admit it, Lando has liked you for quite a while and cares for you deeply, even though he doesn’t generally show his feelings. And so, when you call him (well, not him specifically, but that doesn’t matter) crying and upset, he worries about you. He could’ve woken up your brother, who you obviously would have preferred over him, but he wants to be the one who’s there for you. He wants to be the one who protects you and keeps you safe – better yet, the one who makes you feel safe, if he could ever accomplish such a thing.

Lando exceeds his own expectations when he arrives at the nightclub in under five minutes. Already spotting you standing with the big, bulky bouncer, arms wrapped around yourself in an attempt to keep yourself warm in the cold, late night (or early morning) breeze. He carelessly parked his car on the side of the road, barely turning on the hazard lights before exiting the car. 

“Y/N! Are you okay?” He jogs towards the club entrance, concern showing on his face.

You lifted your head at the familiar voice yelling your name. Quickly thanking the bouncer who kept you company, you rushed over to the familiar boy. You had never been so happy to see Lando.

He pulled you into his arms as soon as you were within his reach. Cradling your head and brushing your hair with one hand, while the other pulled you closer by your waist. Although you initially wanted your brother to come, this was good too – you’d even go as far as to say you were enjoying it. Despite your differences, Lando’s presence (more specifically, his strong arms holding you tight) made you feel at ease and calmed you down. He relieved the tenseness of your body and you relaxed in his hold. Hiding your face in his neck and fisting the fabric of his shirt, you nestled yourself comfortably in Lando’s body and exhaled the breath you had been holding.

He buried his nose in your hair on the top of your head, breathing in your scent and smiling at the feeling of you snuggling into him. It felt right, so right, to be holding you like this. He whispers, “Are you okay?” You merely nod your head, not wanting to leave his embrace. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” He questions further.

You stay silent, enjoying Lando’s strong hold on you. It makes you feel safe. Safe enough to share what happened in the club. “There was some random guy who thought he was entitled to my attention.” You mumble into his neck.

“He didn’t touch you, did he?” He continues, already fearing the answer.

You let a silence fall before answering, “He did,”

Lando squeezes you tighter at the revelation. He’s not surprised a man ruined your fun night out.

You continue quickly, “But there were some girls who helped me, and I think they kicked him out. I’m not sure though, I left as soon as I could. Then I called Max, but he didn’t answer, and now…”

“I’m sorry,” Lando says, a pained expression on his face. “Men are shit.”

You let out a small laugh and Lando can barely avoid shivering at the feeling of your warm breath hitting the sensitive skin of his neck. Nevertheless, he smiles in accomplishment when he hears the sound, glad he could cheer you up.

“You want to go home? To my place, I mean, Max is there…”

“Yes,” you say into Lando’s neck, sighing before distancing yourself from him.

He kisses the top of your head before letting you leave his hold, “Let’s go then,” he says, pulling you along to his car, still tucked into his side.

– – – – –

Part 2

[brainddeadd]

Enemies to Lovers?

Jack Hughes and you are exes. Exes who cannot stand each other. So what happens when you happen to both be at the bar and a guy won’t leave you alone?

Unwanted Attention

The bar was packed, the bass of the music vibrating through the floor as laughter and chatter filled the air. You leaned against the counter, nursing a drink and trying to drown out the noise with your thoughts. It had been a long week, and the last thing you wanted was to run into him tonight.

Jack Hughes. Your ex. The guy who made your heart race and then shattered it into a million pieces. You’d both tried to act like it was all fine, like the breakup hadn’t left a crater-sized hole in your life, but the tension whenever you were in the same room was palpable. You thought you could avoid him tonight, but the universe had other plans.

“Hey there, beautiful,” a guy slurred, sidling up to you. He was tall and had that cocky grin that made you cringe. You glanced at him, hoping he’d get the hint and walk away.

“Not interested,” you replied flatly, turning back to your drink.

But he leaned in closer, undeterred. “C’mon, don’t be like that. Let me buy you a drink.”

You were about to tell him off when a voice cut through the noise, smooth and confident. “She said she’s not interested. Back off, man.”

You turned to see Jack standing there, arms crossed and eyes narrowed at the guy. He looked infuriatingly handsome, his dark hair slightly messy and his jaw set in that stubborn way you used to find adorable. You felt a mix of irritation and something else entirely.

“Jack, I don’t need your help,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I can handle myself.”

“I can see that,” he replied, his tone laced with sarcasm, “but clearly, he can’t.”

The guy scoffed, sizing Jack up. “And who the hell are you?”

“Someone who doesn’t want to watch you make a fool of yourself,” Jack shot back, stepping closer, an unspoken challenge hanging in the air.

The guy hesitated, glancing between you and Jack before finally retreating, muttering under his breath as he walked away.

“Thanks for the rescue, but I didn’t ask for it,” you snapped, irritation flaring. You didn’t want to be grateful to him.

“Looked like you needed it,” Jack replied, unfazed. “You should’ve just told him to leave you alone.”

“I did!” you countered, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. “But it’s not like you care.”

Jack let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. “I might not care about you, but I don’t want to see you get harassed. You’re still—”

“Still what?” you interrupted, eyes narrowing. “Still your ex? Still someone you can just swoop in and act like a hero?”

He leaned closer, the tension between you thickening the air. “You know I never meant to hurt you. We’re both just… stubborn.”

You stared at him, heart pounding. The memories of your time together flickered through your mind—the laughter, the passion, the arguments that felt more like sparks than fights. “Stubborn? You’re the one who decided to break up with me.”

“And you’re the one who swore I’d never hear from you again,” he shot back, his voice low and intense.

The moment hung in the air, and for a brief second, you both stood there, the noise of the bar fading into the background. You were acutely aware of how close he was, how his presence sent a shiver down your spine.

Just then, the guy returned, seemingly undeterred by Jack's previous intervention. “What’s going on here? I thought you were just some nobody.”

Before you could react, Jack stepped in front of you, a smirk playing on his lips. “Why don’t you take a good look? I’m definitely not a nobody.”

You couldn’t help but feel a surge of adrenaline at Jack’s sudden confidence. Maybe you weren’t done with him just yet. “You should probably just leave before I report you to security,” you added, your voice steady despite the rush of emotions inside you.

The guy, realizing he was outmatched, huffed and turned away, muttering something under his breath as he left. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Well, that was… something,” Jack said, turning back to you, an eyebrow raised. “Guess you can handle yourself after all.”

“Thanks for the assist,” you said, your tone softening slightly. “But really, I didn’t need you to swoop in and play the knight.”

Jack shrugged, a grin breaking across his face. “Just looking out for you. Maybe I’m not as bad as you think.”

“Maybe,” you said, the tension between you both shifting, transforming into something more electric. “But I still don’t like you.”

“Good thing I like a challenge,” Jack replied, his eyes glinting with mischief.

In that moment, you both knew that while the past was still there, it didn’t have to define your future. And maybe, just maybe, you could find a way back to each other, even if it started with a little rivalry.

[blakbonnet]

[graphic by @ofmdlovelyletters]

AUTHOR OF THE WEEK @xoxoemynn

I've loved featuring some of the most incredible artists in the fandom for the AOTWs, and thanks to Connie's (@spirker) big brain, this week is dedicated to some of the most beloved fandom authors. I hope everyone will go and check out their fics, maybe discover some new works or give extra love to older beloved fics. There will be 3 authors featured this weekend, please give it up 🥁 for the first one: Emy who we all love.

When I think of an author whose writing feels like a warm, lovingly prepared bowl of soup by someone who wants you to eat and eat well: I think of Em's fics. It's impossible to imagine this fandom without her - not just her words but everything she is and does for her friends. I also strongarmed her into answering a few questions for me (kidding, she was very gracious, I kept harassing her to send the answers over 😌 I have no shame):

What's your writing process like? Do you start with the beginning or the end? Do you write in order or as the scenes come to you?

First comes the idea, which usually presents itself as “haha, wouldn’t it be funny/weird/wild if XYZ… wait a minute. I think I might be serious about that.” Once I’m pretty confident I’m actually going to write the story, I make a channel for it in the private Discord I created to keep myself organized. I’ll start jotting ideas down — doesn’t have to be in any particular order, just tone, beats I want to hit, any particular detail that’s pushing its way to the surface that’s demanding the story be told, and also grab any links, images, music, whatever, and stash them away for inspo later. I almost always have to create an outline for myself, even if it’s just a few bullet points, because otherwise I tend to just sit there spinning my wheels. If it’s a longer story, I’ll create a pretty fleshed out outline, and may also supplement it with an emotions matrix to keep track of the characters’ evolving mindset throughout the story. Tragically, I’m very much someone who needs to write in order. I’ve tried skipping around before, but inevitably I start feeling the tension of “well, how can I possibly write Scene 10 if I don’t know exactly what happened in Scene 5?” But if there are some scenes that feel more vivid to me in the brainstorming phase, I may write a few sentences just so I don’t lose that energy.

One Ed/Stede headcanon that's very dear to you and you love to explore it when you write.

I don’t know if I have one specific one. I generally treat them as my all you can eat buffet and like to play with different ones all the time, depending on my mood. But I’d say my “tell,” if you will, is taking some kind of ridiculous concept (being horny for clocks, running a sleepaway camp for singles, tooth fairies) and sussing out the Big Emotions, which often do circle around learning to be vulnerable in front of the one you love.

Whose voice is easier to write - Ed or Stede? Why?

When I first started writing OFMD fic after S1, I would have said Ed. There was something about that vulnerability and raw heartbreak that I found really accessible, perhaps because I was finally coming out of the fog of my own recent traumatic breakup. But as I spent more time writing and in the characters’ heads, I realized it’s actually Stede. I see a lot of myself in him, and have discovered getting his voice right is a rather cyclical process: the more I understand him, the more I understand myself, and the more I understand myself, the more I understand him.

Your personal favourite thing you've written that you'd like more people to read

I’m going to cheat and list two. The first is The Merry Strays of Lighthouse Sanctuary, which is my heart story. It’s not the first thing I wrote for this fandom, but it feels like it. I wanted to write a fic with a setting that felt to all the characters the way so many of us felt about the show itself — a place of hope, where everyone is loved and accepted and celebrated for exactly who they are. The second, which is definitely a harder sell due to the subject matter, is All Of These Lines Across My Face, which is the most personal thing I’ve ever written that I think has taken on a new, more meta meaning since the cancellation. Love is eternal; it changes everything it touches for the better. Ed and Stede’s world was forever changed because they loved each other; our world was forever changed because we loved OFMD.

What is the one word that you think you use a lot?

Exquisite. But it’s NOT MY FAULT. They ARE exquisite!!! What am I supposed to do, just call them pretty? They are EXQUISITE!

Do you have a beta reader? Have they made you a better writer?

YES! My beloved Hugo (@monksofthescrew/offsammich), who I’ve been working with since Merry Strays. I used to say I’d only use a beta if there was something I was particularly worried about in the story, but honestly Hugo makes everything I write SO much better that I don’t consider a story complete until her eyes are on it. Brainstorming the initial idea, helping me get unstuck in writing, pushing me to look at a scene from a different perspective, fixing all my verb tenses… truly could not do it without her.

Why OFMD?🥹

I found OFMD at a very transitional point in my life, when I finally started to feel healed from a few big traumatic events but didn’t know what to do now that I’d emerged from the fog. I experienced some panic that I had wasted too much time and the world had moved on without me while I was still struggling. OFMD showed me that it’s never too late, that you can always have a second (or third, or 300th) chance, that you deserve to be loved for exactly who you are, and, most importantly, that there’s always hope. It was like someone gently took my hand and said “I don’t care what your brain/society is telling you, there is a beautiful future in store for you, and you deserve all that it brings you.” These days it’s rare to find something with a message like that, that’s equal parts fierce and earnest. It’s something beautiful and precious, and I’ll be holding onto it forever. ❤️

Please head over to @ofmdlovelyletters and send your love for Emy and all your favourite authors (and authors of the week 😈 watch that blog for some special letters coming your way)

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

INTRO: who's y/n anyway? ew.

— the one where everyone tells you who are.

warnings: ignore the timestamps please, online harassment.

masterlist ✢ next

Soft jazz is playing in the living room of y/n y/ln's apartment in SoHo, with all the curtains pulled back the golden hour feels like a golden infinity. We're already in our second cup of coffee, a specialty brought from Veracruz, Mexico by y/n herself.

This is not our first meeting, y/n and I go back a few years, when the box-office hit 'Supercut' sent her straight into stardom and earned her a place in the public's heart. Since then, there has been no other way but up for the young star.

From humble beginnings and a list of failed castings, roles as an extra and endless photoshoots with stock images, y/n knows what it's like to work hard to achieve what you want.

"Sometimes, when I look back at my struggles I wonder what made the universe align in my favor. Hard work only gets you so far, I am incredibly lucky too." She says, eyeing the framed picture of the wrap-up day of her very first movie 'Loneliness', where she played the daughter of a struggling waitress.

"I was in about six scenes, but I couldn't have been more thrilled. It was the first time I felt like a real actress."

Of course, there are other aspects of her life where y/n is extremely fortunate. It has been two years since she started dating Asian-American hearthrob Aidan Kim. Looks like 'Supercut' really was her luckiest strike.

"We do like to keep some things to ourselves," y/n laughs after I ask her for an update on her relationship, I want to know the details behind the lovestagrams we get on a regular basis. "We love and respect each other deeply."

Night has fallen in SoHo and while y/n shuts the curtains, I take my surroundings in once again. A loveseat with a stain on the cushion, a coffee table that Aidan brought from a trip to Nepal where he filmed his newest project, framed pictures of the couple and their families crowd the room. This is the home they have built for themselves.

Some may argue that y/n's specialty are romantic comedies where she gets to play the doe-eyed love interest to the dark and handsome male protagonist, but y/n has her sights set on bigger things. An Oscar nomination, maybe?

"I have fun with the movies I make, but I do want to expand my horizons. I have so many ideas I want to try, I just need a shot to prove myself." She beams with hope, in an ideal world, type-casting wouldn't be a thing.

Speaking of tall, dark and handsome, just as we're about to wrap things up, the door to the apartment opens and Aidan Kim himself comes through bearing a bouquet of roses and bag of take out. A sheepish grin bursts through his face as he realizes the interruption, and does his best attempt to disappear, not before giving a proud thumbs up to his girlfriend. This peek into their private life is enough to see how much they love each other.

"Thank you so much for coming," y/n has been an excellent host this evening, and I am happy to leave her to attend to her love nest. "It was a pleasure."

TWITTER SEARCH: y/n

Y/N’s SOCIALS

Liked by aidankim1, vicpresley, calumhood and others.

View comments

ynstars pretty! hope you had fun babes

effmeaidan you’re only famous thanks to aid

cestbren please tell me you’re really going to be on euphoria

dropbeastsss she’s so fake idk why people like her

dropbeastsss I’m not even aidan’s fan btw

Liked by aidankim1, jessiegrey, vicpresley and others.

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softforyn mY PARENTS

aid4nshoe you followed him to Paris? God let him breathe

loladell my friend saw her today and she refused to take a pic lmao💀

ynflowers can’t wait for you two to get married🥺

↺ FROM ❛FLIXFANS ❜PODCAST MARCH 2022

Chelsea Gonzalez: I just- I feel like y/n is so lazy at this point. Girl you have been doing romcoms for years read a different script.

Gabriel Irwin: [laughs] I don’t think she even reads them anymore. It’s the same role every time that’s just the way she acts on a normal basis now.

Brianna Martin: that’s so mean! Honestly I just feel like she needs to switch agents, there were rumors about that marvel movie and then nothing happened?

↺ FROM YOUTUBE INTERVIEW WITH Y/N IN ❛ONLYFLIX❜ CHANNEL SEPTEMBER 2022

Y/n: I just love being on set, I have so much fun getting to be somebody else and it really feels like I’m in another world.

Ryan Campbell: But your movies aren’t too distanced from your real life situation are they? You have your own movie-like love story with none other than Aidan Kim!

y/n: Oh, uh… yeah I mean, one is fiction and another one isn’t? [laughs] real life relationships are definitely not like the movies.

Ryan Campbell: But how does it feel knowing everyone wishes they were you? I know I do!

y/n: [laughs] I really think we should go back to the movie talk!

↺ FROM ❛IT TALK❜ PODCAST NOVEMBER 2022

Riley Green: [cont.] I mean I loved her look on the red carpet, her stylist LOVES her.

Martha Vincent: y/n is a gorgeous woman, I think that’s why she’s so loved by the public.

Greg Zane: She’s certainly a rising It girl, I just wish we saw her more rather than her fiancé? Boyfriend?

Riley Green: Oh take that back Greg, I’m not about to get cancelled for your shade towards Aidan Kim.

─── team principal radio: ❝ this is my first fic for a f1 driver! exciting! i hope you enjoy this series as much as i'm enjoying creating it. i would love to know your thoughts through comments/reblogs!♡❞

[captain039]

PART 4 Intertwined with a mortal

Ascended Vampire Duke!Astarion x human!reader

Slight alpha Duke!Wyll x reader

Bridgerton x Astarion 👍🏻

Warnings: Olden times, swearing, age gap, tension, slow burn, vampire Mates, vampire things, angst, sexual, harassment, bigger reader, fat shaming, 18+, angst, Astarions trauma, anxiety, depression, learning to touch and love, big dislike for children lmao, AOB, artist reader, manipulation, jealousy

Previous part <-

I love Wyll so much he’s so precious and when I rejected him I cried 😭 I need some Wyll storys.

This feeling was horrible. You stayed in bed even when the servants tried to wake you up, you barely left your room and the thought of the social season festive was out the window along with your so called ‘will’ to find a husband. The next party wasn’t for another week thankfully, in all honesty you didn’t know if you even wanted to continue this season. Your routine lie in was interrupted, by your mother urging you to get dressed promptly and forcing you down stairs. You groaned at her and huffed before you saw a guest in your living room. Duke Ravengard stood there a smile on his face some flowers in his hand.

“Duke Ravengard” you said surprised putting on your ‘lady’ act again.

“Morning Milady, I fear we never got to speak” he said as your mum took the flowers and ushered you both to sit. You sat down staring at your hands in your lap as the duke sat by you. You tried not to breathe, tried not to look him in the eyes.

“If I’ve made you uncomfortable I can leave-“ he said worried and you froze snapping your head up.

“No, no gods no, I’m so sorry-“ you sighed remembering to breathe.

“Not exactly very lady like currently” you cursed yourself silently, an alpha duke! had come to see you, why were you feeling so down?

“You don’t have act lady like at all” he chuckled and you looked to him, he held a kind smile and kind eyes.

“You’re very sweet” you smiled.

“I’m afraid this season is starting out terrible” you sighed feeling at ease with him despite the guilt you held.

“Gaining the attention of Duke Ancunin is definitely going to set things into motion, bad or good” he said and you nodded, he had no idea.

“Well I can assure you that duke Ancunin is merely toying, I don’t know why, some cruel game maybe” you gulped slightly fiddling with your fingers. Before your mother called you out on it and you jumped.

“I’m not myself my Duke, perhaps you’d like to come back?” You said.

“If that’s what you wish” he nodded and you felt your heart drop at the sadness in his features.

“Please stay Duke Ravengard” your mother piped up before your father huffed at her.

“I’ll come by tomorrow I promise, see how you’re faring then” he stood as did you and you felt like someone punched you, but you also felt relief. The duke looked to you and grabbed your hand softly, pressing a gently kiss to the back of it before he smiled and left. You stood flushed before going to your room quickly so you didn’t have to speak to your parents. Jen came by later, she surprised you in your room while you were sketching aimlessly in your book.

“Goodness, where’s the light in here?” She said opening your curtains while you groaned at her.

“Selune guide me, what on earth has happened to you?” She said sitting down on your bed as you lazed.

“I’m feeling” you said and she tsked.

“Feeling too much apparently come over here” she demanded and you whined, but listened to the alpha as she shuffled back and laid against your pillows beckoning you to her lap. You laid your head down in her lap and stared at the ceiling as she detangled your hand.

“Now, what ever is the matter?” She asked and you hesitated.

“It’s Duke Ancunin isn’t it?” She said and you nodded making her sigh.

“I don’t know what his game is, you need to ignore him, he’s no good” she said and you sagged more.

“I hated dancing with anyone else, I long for him, I barley know him! When we dance it feels easy like where destined or something” you rambled.

“Duke Ravengard came by today and I was disappointed” you sad clenching your jaw lightly.

“Because it wasn’t Duke Ancunin?” Jen asked and you nodded.

“He’s such a sweet alpha, perfect, high stats, kind soul” you sighed.

“But he’s not Duke Ancunin” Jen finished and you groaned.

“I run off from him, I tell myself not to like him, he’s bad news” you sighed.

“He- he kissed me” you mumbled and she gasped.

“Please gods don’t tell anyone!” You said sitting up and begging.

“I ran to the garden last party I needed air and space, he followed me, told me things then kissed me, I pushed him away though I swear!” You felt tears down your cheeks as Jen brought you back to her embrace and hushed you.

“I don’t even know the man and he’s ruining my life” you cried. You both stayed silent for awhile, before you lifted yourself off the alpha.

“Duke Ravengards coming by tomorrow” you said.

“I’ll be presentable, a prefect lady and potential mate” you said numbly and Jen sighed sadly.

True to his word the duke returned, more flowers in hand representing new passion and friendship. You put on an act, gave your best smiles and laughs as you talked, all the while a burning rock sat in your stomach. The duke came over once a day, the more you got to know the more it hurt. You were out and about in his carriage just the two of you with the carriage men.

“Are you alright?” The duke asked and you smiled nodding eyes looking out the window.

“I don’t mean this rudely lady Y/n, but I feel as if this is an act” he said and you looked to him confused, but feeling guilt and concern in your gut.

“When I first visited you, you were yourself, you’re a very feeling person, not afraid of her emotions on display, has your parents said something to you? To make you act this way? As I said I do not mind the real you, it shows character” he spoke sweetly and honestly and you wanted to cry.

“I’m sorry” you said biting the inside of your cheek and looking away as you furiously blinked your tears away.

“Gods don’t be sorry, just tell me what’s happening” he held your hand in comfort.

“If I was myself I’d never find a husband” you scoffed lightly wiping your eyes with your tissue from your satchel.

“Says who?” He asked.

“Says society!” You sighed.

“I’m am distort and the last party’s I-“ you struggled with words.

“Duke Ancunin” he said sitting back slightly as more tears spilled, you’ve ruined this.

“Wyll you’re lovely, amazing, anything a mate could ask for” you let go of his hand, wanting to force yourself away.

“I don’t understand any of this” you said cursing yourself softly.

“Now I’m cursing in front of a duke” you kicked yourself mentally as you wiped your eyes.

“Perhaps what you need isn’t a mate, you’ve already found him” the dukes smile was hurt, but comforting.

“Perhaps you need a friend” he said holding out his hand for you again. Making you stare at him, he smiled at you, he wasn’t upset or angry, he just held compassion.

“I have two younger half sisters from my step mother, lady’s in our society are so shaded on love and what feelings go through it, what really happens during the social seasons, it baffles me, it leads to this, too many emotions to understand, ruining a lady’s day and night because she doesn’t know what to do” as he spoke you just stared at him, you swore you felt your heart jump and warmth filled you, not the same with Duke Ancunin, but a familiar warmth of family comfort.

“What?” He chuckled lightly.

“Where have you been?” You asked and he laughed giving your hand a squeeze.

“I’m sorry i didn’t come sooner” he said kissing your hand again with a smile.

Wyll told you things, things you were feeling and what they meant and you told him about what you were feeling when you were with Duke Ancunin how torn you were, what you spoke of in your brief moments, excluding the kiss. Wyll told you of what he knew of Duke Ancunin, a wealthy man with a good eye for exotic trade which is how he kept his wealth. Duke Ancunin was secretive though and like yourself Wyll noticed his perfectness to be too perfect, he sensed it was perhaps hidden meaning, covering up a bad past or issues he had and wouldn’t face properly, just kept up and act. The duke Ancunin was known for being well a rake, having taken many lovers, but none ever stayed, but what surprised you was that Wyll had never seen the duke dance like he had with you. Like there was something different about you to him. Stranger things too is that he never seemed to age, he’d go years without appearance and not change, perhaps it was his elven nature, but Wyll had his suspicions. There was more to the duke than his practiced smile and coldness.

Next part ->

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

high infidelity | twenty nine

I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending, I'm not your problem anymore…so who am I offending now?

*Ellie's POV* I closed the door to my Uber and just sighed heavily. The past hour felt like I blacked out, not remembering anything I said to him, and how I actually left him with no hesitation. I never thought in a million years I’d leave Noah, especially this quickly. When I took a final look at him before leaving, he was outside leaning against his balcony, his dark eyes met mine tear filled. Part of me felt guilty but, he just stood there, not bothering to fight me to stay. My Uber started to drive away and I didn’t even take another look back, I simply wiped the single tear that fell from my eye as I grabbed my phone.  

“Hey.” I sniffed. “What time are you gonna be the airport?”

“I’m just going now.” Hearing Matt’s voice on the other end was comforting, “is everything okay?”

“No.” I stopped, feeling myself wanting to cry, as if reality set in with what I did. “I’ll talk to you when I get to the airport.” I hung up and put my headphones on, closing my eyes.  All I wanted was to hear Noah’s voice again. I hit shuffle and Just Pretend came on first, making my heart split as I remembered how he dedicated it to me the first time he lost me. It seems like a lifetime ago, but it was only two weeks to the day. When I was with Noah, it really felt like time stopped completely, nothing else and nobody else mattered. I feel like I’ll be searching for the trait in everyone I meet, knowing I’ll never find it again. God, what have I done? “Ellie!”

I turned my head and saw Matt walking towards me with Folio. I smiled at them but I couldn’t hold it in my tears anymore, seeing them reminded me of Noah. I crashed right into Matt’s chest and I started crying. Both of them were confused, I’m assuming Noah hasn’t said anything to anyone yet. Not that I care if he does. Folio rubbed my back as Matt held me tightly as a few more tears escaped me. I finally came up for air and looked at them both, rubbing my tear soaked cheeks, both of them still staring at me for an answer. “I broke up with Noah.” “El…seriously? What happened?” “I don’t know. I just couldn’t handle how he was more worried about his internet presence than the fact I was getting bullied and harassed by his fans.” The anger was back, I couldn’t stand this back and forth how I was feeling right now. “So I told him he didn’t deserve me if he didn’t like the fact that I stick up for myself.” “And you can definitely stick up for yourself, you really clocked that chick.” Matt started to chuckle but Folio elbowed him right in the rib to shut him up. I just rolled my eyes, “Matthew…” “Sorry.” He replied, putting his hand up. “What do you want to do?” “Nothing right now. I just want to get home and see my son. Maybe I’ll talk to him when this settles down.” “This stuff usually blows over fast. Some fan will do something moronic tomorrow and they’ll forget about you.” Folio added, sending me a reassuring smile.  “We’ve got your back either way.” “Thanks guys. I’ll miss you.” They pulled me into a group hug before we all headed off in our direction. I had to go to another part of the airport since I was flying back to Canada, which of course Matt made some smartass remark about Canada not being a real country. My heart sunk when I turned around and couldn’t see them anymore. I don’t even know if we’ll ever be in the same room again.

*Noah’s POV* “So she just left?” I looked across the kitchen at Nick, who was sitting at my kitchen island. His face looked so puzzled with what just unfolded in front of him. Jolly leaned against the wall, arms crossed trying to process the news as well. Ellie just walked out and gave up on everything we worked hard for over these past few weeks. She never heard me out, she just thought about herself and that was it.

“Yeah. She was upset with me that I was more worried about what was online than being supportive of her.” “Supportive of what?” Nick replied, raising his eyebrow. “She punched someone.” “They called her terrible names, Nicholas.” Jolly piped in. “Matt told me all the things those girls were saying. They had it coming honestly. They’re lucky it wasn’t one of us that did it.” “Matt.” I scoffed, pouring myself a glass of Hennessy, “if it wasn’t for him, I don’t think we’d be in this mess.” “Seriously, is something going on between those two? They were inseparable last night.” “No idea, but he can have her if he wants her now.” I sighed, taking a long swig of my drink before pouring more into my glass. “You guys have it all wrong.” Jolly huffed as he grabbed his phone and keys and walked towards the door, I could tell he had enough. “Noah, you fucked up. Ellie was a headstrong, beautiful women and you just let her walk out the door. She’s probably one of the few women who would stick around despite all the shit we deal with because she can handle it. But if you want to make her look bad, go ahead, but I’m not staying around for your pity party.” “Go fuck yourself man, and get the fuck out of my house!” “I was already fucking leaving.” He replied, slamming the door shut. Fuck I hated it when he was right, but making Ellie the villain seemed like the best way to make myself feel better. Cursing under my breath I took another sip of my drink, glancing at Nick who looked like his parents told him they were getting a divorce. 

“Do you wanna change your flight and stay here another day? We should go out tonight.” Nick rolled his eyes as he took his phone out, assuming he was changing his flight, “I’ll only stay because I don’t trust you going out unsupervised right now.” “Alright, I’ll call some people up.”

I went to grab my phone, as I put my hand into my pocket, my fingers were met with a black velvet box. I took it out and threw it on the counter. I guess I don’t need this anymore. 

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi! I know the Dreamland System irl (been friends since high school) and I’ve been in the tulpa community way longer than they have. Coming up on 6 years, actually! But could you cool it with talking about them (Halberd) pls? I know they’re hospitalized at the moment but it’s unnerving to see you talking about them regularly like this. Do you think you would mind talking about something other than a traumatized vulnerable system in need of serious help?

I don’t follow you (but from tulpa to tulpa - hi!!) And honestly I don’t agree with a lot of Hal’s alters’ takes, but it just doesn’t seem right, what you’re doing. I know you don’t know them, but they were majorly traumatized and ultimately assaulted back when we were in high school which all started from people telling lies about them behind their back.

Hopefully they won’t know about what you’ve been saying here, but I just thought I’d shoot you a heads up because you might not know what they’ve gone through and how that affects them today. Even though Hal probably isn’t going to see this, I thought it would be the right thing to ask you to leave them alone for their sake. I’m really worried about them!

If it would be of any benefit, I could maybe pass along a message to them about your feelings and how their actions have affected you too! I can see how they’ve been kind of hypocritical about this, but as far as I know their concerns with racism and stuff were always about your actions and not you specifically! They’ve gotten into activism over the last few years and I can assure you while they may be misguided or misinformed, their intentions are good. From what I know from our conversations about existing as a system online, they’re mostly trying to stand up for marginalized people in the system community.

I’m not the one picking them up from the hospital, but I am a dear friend of theirs and will be in touch with them after they’ve been released. Let me know if I can pass a message along! It would do them and my own system a lot of good to see this put to rest.

(You don’t have to post this if it makes you uncomfy of course! I hope you and your host are staying safe and hydrated ❤️)

I'm sorry. I didn't know what they went through. I do... wish that they had considered their own actions before the posts they made about me for all that time, and how that can hurt others.

Anyway, I think I've gotten out most of what I needed to say and won't mention them again after this post.

This post... does also get a little venty too though, so there's your warning.

This has been... a really sucky position to be in... being attacked and smeared by someone for months, finally saying a couple small things about them, and triggering this type of reaction. I'm having to defend myself from abuse accusations, while still trying to put out fires they set and continuously stoked (the zoophilia allegations, being a major one) and still being upset at them tagging me in response to a post where I explained that tagging people makes it easier for potential harassers to get to them.

So I'm in a position where I feel like I need to share my side of the story before the attacks against me escalate and get even further out of hand.

And I feel like I need to balance all of this while... genuinely not wanting to cause this person I used to like and get along with harm.

I mean, part of the reason that I didn't address the personal attacks for so long was because I know that I have a large blog and some of my followers can be a tad overzealous. (I love this community, but when you have 1500 followers, it only takes a small percentage of them to get aggressive and decide to resort to sending people hate anons. Another reason that I generally avoid engaging with anti-endos directly. Despite them taking it as a personal offense that I often screenshot without tagging them, this is done for the protection of the people I respond to. I generally only tag these days when I deem it absolutely necessary.)

I took a small precaution with my vent post and turned off reblogs to make it less likely they'll find it. I'll turn off reblogs on this one too.

And in a perfect world, that would be enough. I blocked their accounts that weren't blocking me already. They shouldn't see my posts.

And yet I can't shake the feeling their friend group is still watching everything I say, discussing it in that server of theirs, and will probably send it directly to them once they're out. And so any precautions I take to avoid hurting them further, while still trying to defend myself, are likely moot.

As for passing on a messages about how their actions affected me... I don't know what the point is.

Why would I want you to tell somebody dealing with suicidal ideation right now how much it hurts to see someone you used to like and respect turn against you? To have them namecall and attack you constantly? All while you stay quiet because you feel like anything you say will make things worse? (And yes, it does feel extremely personal when my name is mentioned constantly on their syscourse blog.)

Maybe there was a time to have that conversation with them but that time has long since passed.

Telling them that right now doesn't seem productive at all and only causes more strife.

If their other friends do decide to show them this last vent of mine, then that's on them. I've done what I can to keep this post from getting beyond my own blog. But I'm not going to ask somebody to deliver that message to somebody who is vulnerable right now because them knowing would only serve to make me feel better.

I guess... if you want to pass on a message... tell them that I'm sorry that I hurt them... tell them that I hope they're well... and ask that they not contact me or @ me again. Maybe that sounds cold, but I genuinely believe that's going to be the healthiest thing for everyone involved.

(Actually, if you don't mind, maybe ask them to avoid any accounts that have them blocked since last I heard, they were talking about remaking their post @'ing Eeveecraft on their main blog since Eeveecraft only blocked the syscourse blog... that's very much not okay. And I certainly don't want to see them develop a habit of that.)

There. That's it. Now I've said everything I have to say on the matter.

Thank you for being a good friend to them. I'm glad they someone like you looking out for them. 💖

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

This might seem like a weirdly personal question, but do you have any advice on managing strong romantic feelings for a fictional character and/or the actor who plays them? I only ask because after seeing MoM, I developed some feelings for Wanda, and by extension Elizabeth Olsen herself, that feel about as close to love as you can get without directly knowing the person. I know how this would come across to a lot of people so I will say upfront that I’ve never considered stalking or harassing her in any way, and that whatever interaction I might have with her would be on her terms in a setting she’s comfortable with. That being said, I also hold myself to a high standard in how I feel about her and have a lot of guilt or anxiety about other emotions, some of them trivial like feeling bad that I didn’t watch Wandavision when it first came out, and some more intense like even though I want to work in movies and maybe with Elizabeth herself, I’m not smart enough to be a writer and director and create something worthy of her talents. And in certain times, there’s also angst over not ever having a chance to be with her or even Wanda romantically followed by guilt over being that selfish in wanting her for myself. Sorry if this is going on too long but essentially, are there strategies you or someone you know are familiar with for keeping an affection for someone like this in your life in a healthy way, because I do appreciate the good aspects of Elizabeth’s talent and Wanda’s story but not letting the negative feelings on my part get in the way. Sorry if this is gets too personal but thank you for your time.

No apology needed at all, dear! It's alright. Thank you for reaching out.

I'm afraid I know very little about these things, to be honest. The way I see it, all emotions are exactly the same. If we're okay with people laughing or crying over a story, why would other emotions be a problem? It's a fantasy after all. Real or not doesn't really change anything, humans have developed so many different forms of communication precisely because we love telling stories to each other -- none of them are real, but that doesn't make them any less valuable.

I believe the question you need to ask yourself is if this is affecting your life in any way, as in your real-life relationships, your mental well-being, your work, your responsibilities, etc. But if it isn't, there's nothing wrong with fantasizing or feeling. Wanda is a fictional character after all so whatever you do or say is not going to hurt her, and regarding Elizabeth you seem to have it figured out just fine as well. So, is it hurting you?

As for the other less pleasant feelings such as anxiety, guilt, etc, I can only assume that if you have romantic feelings for her and Wanda, you will experience everything that comes with that. Love isn't always nice, is it? Be it with a real person or not, sometimes it's messy and painful.

Personally, I wouldn't try to fight against those feelings or bottle them up, that would only make things worse. Just allow yourself to feel them, maybe do something creative with them like write fanfic or draw or talk to other fans about it, etc. Or just fantasize about it in your own way, whatever makes you 'feel' is good enough -- both pleasant and non-pleasant are okay, maybe you can try to change the perspective and see those emotions as a gateway to understanding yourself better. I know the non-pleasant ones suck big time, but they can be helpful.

A quick google search says this is "fictosexuality". There must be some forums online with people who discuss this kind of thing, they'll probably give you better advice than me since I don't really know much about this. I'm sorry I can't be of better help here but know that you're not alone.

[cartcop]

Can I get your opinion on something? how do you feel about Ravi lately. Because I’m happy we’re seeing more of him but I also feel like they kinda gave up on giving him his own personality? Last season he was his own person: he was an introvert, a bit shy and hesitant but still competent and emphatic. and now he’s. well. He’s Buck. All jokes and random facts. last episode every time he spoke (especially at some point when he said statistics about something i don’t remember) I found myself thinking “that’s something Buck would say”. Idk it’s probably a me problem (i read an interview where they said “he’s gonna butt heads with buck because now he’s the cheeky one” so I’m probably focused on that), we still don’t know much about him and it takes me at least a few episodes to understand characters. Hoping we’ll see more of his backstory (praying for a Ravi begins) and his relationships with other characters and I’ll be able to get him better.

It’s important to me that you (and everyone else) know that you can literally always ask my opinion on anything. Anytime. I love saying words.

Honestly, I never was part of the Ravi fan brigade (tho I’m really happy that he’s back) so my thoughts on who he is as a character are kinda ?!?!?!. His re-intro was phenomenal I thought, a great little retroactive explanation of where he’s been and why he’s been there—with the level of emotional depth that 911 is so good at giving.

I thought his “are you sure that’s a good idea”/“I did tell you it was a bad idea” this past ep felt on brand for him, but I also didn’t really clock his characterization that much in seasons past, beyond him being sort of hesitant in a way that made sense for a new kid Buck was harassing at every turn lmao. Moving him away from that hesitance now that he’s developed professionally makes a lot of sense to me, but again, I’m no Ravi scholar.

I like the idea of him being somewhat Buck-like but maybe a little more…grounded? Like as the newest member and also the one that’s existed outside the 118 in the LAFD, it’s kinda fun to have him side eying the team. I definitely didn’t read his characterization in this most recent ep quite as Buck-like as you did, but I get the concern. They both kinda emanate little-brother energy and I would hate to see Ravi turn into a Buck-redux.

I do think 911 is trying to prep for the next stage in the show tho, and bringing Ravi back is a key play in that imo. Like, clearly Buck is in the homestretch on the emotional journey he’s been on since s1, which presumably means getting linked up with his ~forever person~ in the next season or so. And reintroducing Ravi and giving him some familiar, Buck-like character traits might be their way of moving Ravi into that “star single hot firefighter” role Buck’s been filling for 6 seasons. Not to be Buck round 2, but to hint hint nudge nudge at the audience that he’s gonna step up into a similar role narratively; youngest on the team, still finding his footing in the 118 AND in the world. I think that’s a big reason we got the fire academy setting too, with named characters who had really distinct personalities despite having so little screentime—they need to be ready to sub in some new firefighters if they want this show to run much longer, whether the main cast stays after contract renewals next season or not.

That’s all massive speculation from me, but I just cannot get the idea out of my head that they’re readying themselves for the next phase of 911, and you mentioning Ravi’s characterization being reminiscent of Buck just kinda. Slots right in with that crackpot theory of mine.

[fxshrxfmxn]

How to Request

I have decided that I will write for The Chosen. Maybe a good decision, maybe a bad decision. But here we are.

This seems like overkill right now if I’m honest, but I might thank myself later.

As of this moment, I do not have a masterlist, however, I do tag all of my writings so you can search them and read them all.

Just search:

fxshrxfmxn writings

Or

fxshrxfmxn fanfic

And they should all be made available to you to find relatively easily💖

To make things a bit easier for me and how I want to stay within my beliefs, I’m setting up guidelines for requesting writing from me for The Chosen.

Before I begin, it is important that we all understand that I am writing for the storyline of The Chosen. Each event in The Chosen was either spun by the writers and directors OR pulled from the Bible itself. I am writing for the character that the actors in the show portray, not the real people themselves. The Bible and the Chosen, to me, are separate things and I will be treating them as such. (I am for sure okay with talking about scripture itself, but in a different kind of context.)

Anyways…

With traditionally romantic writings, things tend to be a bit touchy and comfy. That’s fine, I love that. Lord knows, I will be huggy with my future other half before marriage(I don’t think I could just not touch them, luckily our current culture allows for that.)

But the culture in bible time was very different. The parents would arrange with the parents, or the parents would talk to the guy. There wasn’t dating as it is now, certainly not premarital kissing or hugging, not in public anyways, because it was seen as improper. Also pretty much no touching. So, I really want to try and keep things more proper.

In A Misunderstanding (my fic about John the Beloved) I do think that’s the most contact I will allow for “romantic” fics, that I write. Not entirely true to the proper culture back then, but less scandalous, y’know?

(I might budge the line occasionally, but if it doesn’t feel right, I just won’t write it. I will for sure communicate that to the requester.)

That being said, I have only written for John so far, I will write for anyone in the show. I am female, so anything “romantic”, I will only write for the men in the show(anyone BUT Jesus(obviously)), and beyond that if you want just a chill fic about hanging with the Marys and Ramah and Tamar, I can do that. I love writing fanservice, just shenanigans and things of that nature are super fun. Give me a challenge, I love those.

So: Keep it E for everyone, not even PG. Minimal hand holding; maybe a few hugs. No kissing on the mouth and certainly no NSFW. Men and women, who were not married, weren’t allowed to be alone together. So that is the way my fics will be.

(Not telling other people they shouldn’t be writing it, (you write what you like and are comfortable with) I am just setting a personal standard for myself and will be keeping to it.)

I am a female and, as this is already out of my comfort zone, will only be writing from the female perspective.

NO:

-NSFW

-Mouth to Mouth(kissing)(unless it’s a marriage fic, which Idek if I’m comfortable writing that yet)(idk why either so don’t ask)

-No being completely alone with the opposite sex

-if the character is married or already betrothed in the show, please keep the request platonic.

-edit: 10/23 anything same sex romantic is a no as well. I will not change my mind. Any messages/comments will be deleted/reported and you will be blocked if you harass me about it. We can discuss things without those coming into the mix.

YES:

-Shenanigans(practical jokes and things of that nature, family friendly comedy stuff)

- Girl time with the female disciples

-Found family is my favorite trope, so anything about learning to cohabitate in a camp with a bunch of Christ’s followers? Yes, please.

-prompts about Christ accepting you as you are, calling you to follow him and helping you turn from old lifestyles are fics that I think can be very healing. (Things like this I will be discerning on a prompt to prompt basis)

Characters I will write for at least once:

Simon Peter(platonic only please)

Simon Z

Thomas(platonic only please)

Andrew

Matthew(either romantic or platonic for now until we actually figure out where his relationship with Mary is going)

Nathaniel

Thaddeus

Big James

Little James

John the Beloved(of course)

Judas(tentatively because I have a personal bias to get over(I had always thought of him as the villain(which isn’t the case))

Philip

Any of the girls(Mary, Mary M., Ramah, Tamar, Eden, Salome)(platonic only please)

Jesus(platonic only please(I shouldn’t have to say that, but there’s always someone)

Potentially Quintus, Atticus, and/or Gaius(platonic only please) (I would actually prefer platonic for all three, but I will use discernment on a prompt by prompt basis.)

TL;DR: Every prompt that comes to me, I will use my own discernment for whether I am comfortable or not with writing it, all I ask is that you be respectful if your prompt is not answered the way you want it to be. If you request something that goes against everything on the “NO” list, your request will be discarded, so I recommend you at least read that bit.

Tutorial on how to request anything from me:

Use the ask button! Or send me a message! Both are located in the upper right hand corner for mobile. I don’t use a computer, so I’m not sure where those buttons are at on the computer.

I also prefer dialogue prompts have at least two bits of dialogue and a genre with it, just for a bit more guidance on what you want.

Will do headcanons, but if you could say whether you want separate headcanons or just a group headcanon so that I give you exactly what you want and don’t have to guess, that’d be great.

I love you so much because Jesus loves you so much and wants the best for you. I respect you as a person, the way Jesus respects you and ask that you extend me the same courtesy.

Blessings to each and every one of you. 💗✨🫶🏻

[ohyangchon]

Alistair,

It’s Joel again. Th’ Duke’s goons got their hands on ya, and I was movin’ our shit outta our usual spot ta somewhere less infested - by the time I got there, your place had been trashed and I found ya out like a light in our bedroom.

Navezgane’s finally gone ta hell. I’m settin’ ya up with a doctor pal o’ mine, Jen, th’ next town over and she’d be helpin’ ya relearn th’ ropes while ya recover. I’ve still got crap ta settle - maybe start trackin’ down whoever did this ta ya and teach ‘em a lesson they ain’t ‘bout ta forget. When all this is said and done, I’m ridin’ up on my 4x4 and bringin’ ya home like th’ bride ya deserve ta be. No more fightin’ zombies and runnin’ ‘round like a headless chicken doin’ these dangerous jobs.

P.S. I donated all th’ stuff ya said ta donate ta some o’ th’ survivors that were helpin’ me with errands. Only thing I couldn’t bear ta throw out was that black spear ya so loved. That one’s framed up in my office. Whenever this whole crisis with th’ Duke tides over, feel free ta come pick it up again. It’ll always be yours. ---- The new town was about as quiet as I’d expected it to be.

I’d set up shop next to Jen’s place, considering her interest in seeing my recovery. Learning to reuse the spear again was the first on my agenda (everything seemed scrambled in my head, and I’d pieced together crafting some basic tools through the magazines she’d been providing me), and the comfortable if not smaller grocery store beside her stronghold had been my base of choice.

Even so, occasionally tracing the drops of rain from the attic, I couldn’t help but think of the cabin from time to time.

Alistair’s Cabin. Joel had jokingly named it that, merging my name and the cabin’s together. It had been a little out of the way, but it had been our home. This “Moe’s Grocery” was comfortable enough, but there was just a spark of joy in the place that felt woefully missing without Joel sneaking over through the balcony to tease me about future work.

Of course, I was probably just counting my eggs a little before they hatched. Settling in to the place hadn’t taken much effort, with my scavenging across the mall strip a short walk away yielding well in starting myself off. Jen was a fair employer in what she offered me, and I was certainly relieved to avoid any bears in the vicinity for the time being, yet the emptiness remained.

At the very least, the sleepy town was more forgiving that Navezgane had been. Travelling at night for a quick scavenge saw a few loose zombies but nothing particularly threatening. The most harassment I received these days were the occasional vulture, and perhaps some snakes that lived in the area - more meat wasn’t something I complained about, I’d mused over the grill with Jen one night.

“You’re pretty special, I think,” Jen admitted, dropping off the crafting magazines in my mailbox with a grin, “I’ve never seen Joel stick his head out so much for a survivor like he did for you. He’d rather die than part with his money, but he was rushing you to me promising his entire fortune to keep you safe.”

“I wooed him with shepard’s pie,” I’d joked back, trying to keep matters cool, “Once I gather the ingredients for it, I could probably make you some. Only if you want to visit and take a break from treating people. Take it as thanks for saving me.”

Jen shrugged. “Least I could do. You were one of the best runners in Navezgane. Sadly, a doctor’s duty is never done,” she replied, already leaving as she tossed me a backwards glance, “If you really wanted to help, start donating your extra food tins to us instead. You’ve been growing a robust garden in your backyard - surely you could spare some crops.”

I reddened as she returned, glancing out towards the garden. It was true that I’d started developing a green thumb after coming to town, and the sprawling farm plot of various vegetables and hops were a testament to it. Once upon a time, I’d brewed an almost endless supply of beer, and now I’d been struggling to set up the chemistry station I once had to work the same way it did back inside the cabin. Not that I was lacking time, really.

Gardening took away some of the anxiety I had about how alone the nights stretched on, even if the place hardly attracted attention. While sitting at home waiting for night to pass, I’d taken to reading the various crafting magazines in the area and teaching myself the recipes to recreate some of the machinery I’d left behind in the cabin. It was either that or demolishing cars for spare parts (why were springs so scarce here?) or checking the dew collectors for a fresh water supply to brew drinks with.

For a moment, I could forget the place was less forgiving than Navezgane.

[dollythesheepp]

Veronica- Chapter 7

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44050953/chapters/115131082#workskin

September 1st, 1989. Dear Diary...

I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone. But here we are... first day of senior year! I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself ...what happened?

We used to be so tiny and happy, then we got bigger and everything went to shit. But we changed once, so I still pray that maybe we can change again. And if we don't, college is right around the corner, and I'll finally be able to leave this Thunderdome behind me, and say hello to Harvard, Duke, or Brown.

I just hope I'll survive until June...

Those were the first paragraphs written in Veronica's diary. She was seventeen at the time, fourteen years ago, and Betty couldn't help but be reminded of her younger self in those scribbly blue lines, so naive and full of hope, not yet tainted by the hardships of life.

Below the last sentence were several other ones, all from that same day.

---

Dear Diary...

The Heathers just passed by me, floating above the rest of the student body like they're apex predators at the top of the food chain.

They're assholes, everyone knows that but still, all of Westerburg wants to be them, or to be with them.

Heather McNamara is loaded, her dad sells engagement rings.

Heather Duke doesn't have a discernable personality but the implants paid with her mother's cash do the job just fine.

And Heather Chandler...the almighty. She is a mythic bitch.

They're solid Teflon, never bothered, never harassed. I would give anything to be like that...

--

Dear Diary...

Help me fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze.

I've been here for two hours and I've already been shoved, yelled at, got my lunch tray smacked down by Ram Whose Entire Personality is Being The Team's Linebacker Sweeney, and almost got my ass kicked by Kurt Kelly, the smartest guy on the football field ...which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf...

Now I'm hiding in the bathroom to avoid dealing with this bullshit.

---

Dear Diary...

Sometimes, if you hope, dream, and pray enough, you get your way in the end.

Today ended up being a beautiful freaking day.

As the eventful day of September 1st ended with that last sentence, Betty closed the notebook, feeling tired and with her head full from going through the piles of old manuscripts all day, her tired vision starting to blur the words in front of her.

Getting inside Veronica's thoughts through her diary made Betty feel slightly better about the whole situation. It made it easier to stop seeing Veronica as this hallowed, unreachable person; Betty got the chance to see the actual her, read about her feelings and her insight of the world, and for the first time, she didn't have to rely on anyone's opinion to learn that, only Veronica's- even thought Betty was reading from the point of view of seventeen year old Veronica, still full of hormones and teenage anguish.

As Betty got up from the couch to return the diary to its box, she felt her Nokia cellphone vibrating in her pocket, she flipped it open, seeing it was her landlord.

"Hello, Ms. Finn?" said the forty something year old on the other line, his slight southern accent echoing in her ears.

"Yeah?"

"The problem with the plumbing I told you about," he began, getting straight to the point, no frills. "Turns out it's worse than we thought. I'm afraid it will take a little while to get the place ready for you to move in."

"Hm, how long is a little while, exactly?" Betty asked, already feeling the headache coming.

"A couple more weeks, give or take."

"A couple more?" she echoed, incredulous. "I'm already out of my old apartment, what am I supposed to do until then?"

"I'm really sorry, I know this wasn't excepted..." he continued.

"It's ok," Betty mumbles, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'll...I'll figure something out. Thanks."

She turned the cell phone off, plopping on the couch. Betty was the type of person who liked to have everything planned out, she felt comforted begging a week knowing exactly how it would end; setbacks like those were a nightmare for her. She had already talked it over with JD about staying until Tuesday, then she would go to a hotel and wait for the place to get ready, but there's no way could afford two weeks at a hotel, even a cheap one.

She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, stressed out. She glanced at her watch, seeing how late it was, and got up from the couch to go to sleep. She closed Veronica's diary, with a bookmark to indicate what page she had stopped at, knowing for certain she would keep reading it the next day.

***

Sunday morning came along with its usual feeling of laziness, one that only grew heavier with the rain falling in heavy droplets, making the tree leaves dance and the house smell like wet grass.

Betty woke up a little later than the day before, to which she blamed it on the chilly weather and not on the fact that she had stayed up until late snooping through Veronica's diary.

When she left her room, Betty was introduced to the other nurse, Kate, who was older than Martha, probably in her late fifties, and a lot more serious too.

To Betty's dismay, Kate didn't leave delicious coffee for her, like Martha did. But JD came to her rescue, offering to make her coffee and toast. Time flew by as they chatted amicably, until JD glanced at his watch, cursing under his breath.

"I can't believe it's already 10 a.m," he said, he appeared upset about having to cut the conversation short, and Betty did too. JD was easy to talk to, he was funny and clever, as well as a good listener. "I have to drop by the company to handle some issues, if you need anything you can ask Kate."

Betty nodded and waved him goodbye. After he left, an eerie silence took over the house. Kate was upstairs with Veronica, who according to JD was watching television, leaving Betty alone with nothing but the rain to keep her company. Since staying outside and enjoying the view was out of question, Betty settled for studying her notes in the living room instead, bringing the heap of papers and another cup of coffee along with her.

She stayed on the couch for hours, forgetting about her plans to order lunch, completely immersed in what she was doing, until the doorbell rang. Betty looked around, unsure of what to do. She waited to see if Kate would appear in the living room, but that didn't happen, maybe she didn't hear or simply ignored it, since answering the door was not at all part of her job description.

The bell rang a couple more times, the person outside getting impatient. Betty got up from the couch to open it, feeling a bit weird, like she was overstepping a boundary somehow.

You're well past that...a little voice in her head snickered.

Betty unlocked the wooden door to reveal a petite woman standing on the other side. She had her back facing Betty, looking at the front lawn instead, she probably got distracted from waiting for the door to open, so at first, all Betty saw was a mop of curly blonde hair. The woman turned around quickly once she realized the door was open, and she looked at Betty with a puzzled expression on her face.

"You're not Martha," she blinked her wide, doe eyes. At that moment, Betty recognized her as one of the girls from the picture.

"N-no, sorry. I'm Betty, the hm...the ghostwriter," Betty said, unsure of how to introduce herself.

"Hm, alright..." the girl said, eyeing Betty up and down. "I'm Heather, by the way. Is Veronica up for a visit?"

[fallingsunflower]

ike “what is wrong with these fans?” I don’t get it. My mother would have taken my tickets away if I tried to bring a sign that said anything more than very slightly cheeky. And now that I’m an adult, I don’t want to sexually harass someone I’m a fan of because that’s not any way to go through the world. It’s disgusting. Everyone is lucky Harry hasn’t set the barricade 100 feet back from the stage because people have no boundaries. Harry is enormously talented and successful and I get that maybe he doesn’t feel quite real? Like you can just say whatever to him but he is still very much a person not a zoo animal. Once I read someone’s post detailing meeting 1D at some sort of signing (so he was like…18? She was several years older) and she was so proud that she looked Harry right in the eye and said “I think about you when I wank.” Absolutely not. I would never recover if some stranger said that to me. I would never mastrubate again. ANYWAY this has gotten long sorry. I hate the vulgar signs, I hate that people are so shitty to Harry and feel like they can act however they want towards him because they paid $700 for a ticket. That is not how the world works.

no LITERALLY. It’s one of the worst parts of this fandom and why I don’t consider myself a harrie. Like I would be so uncomfortable if someone came up to me and said “cum on me” or “I think about you when I masturbate” like what?? I can’t stand his fans do that. It’s not cute or funny

[dirty-urie]

To sum up… everything going on in relationship to this blog/myself:

I am crushed. My absolute favorite concert ever was PFTW, and I had been looking forward to many more concerts to come

While VLV was far from my favorite album, I still think it displayed what would’ve been a cool artistic/sonic direction for the band, and I was looking forward to seeing more concept albums

I don’t think it’s fully set in yet for me. No more panic

Despite me feeling upset/betrayed, Brendon didn’t do anything wrong and I hope he and Sarah are happy

He had outgrown the Panic! brand, so I’m not super mad that’s retiring. but I do doubt he’ll come back with a real solo career. Probably ever. Even without the parasite, his voice and live performances have been declining. Not past the point of no-return, but if he’s not willing to put the work in, it’ll only get worse

That being said, he’ll probably continue to do his little drumming shows

And be guest-featured on other artists’ tracks

And I assume sporadically release more fun/experimental tracks like his metal songs

If you’re upset, you’re right to be.

I personally think this is stupid given Brendon and Sarah’s preferred lifestyle/repeated thoughts on children, but maybe they’ve changed A LOT and want it

That being said, if they have changed that much, Brendon is not the person I thought I was a fan of, hence some of the (irrational and unhealthy, I know) feelings of betrayal

I don’t think I’ll delete this blog in the near-future, but I’ve slowly shifted away from Brendon and this solidifies that gap, so I may be less active or completely inactive

Anyway, general blanket warning not to harass/reach out to any real life people involved.

[youaremysunshiness]

this fall is the anniversary of what happened last year and i feel like with my old friend group that was around at that time, that i was kind of expected to stop talking about it and being upset about it because they just got tired of hearing about it. i’m just kinda shocked at how much i let slide with my old friends because i thought everything was my fault, but i was going through something deeply traumatic and none of them were there for me. i delt with that trauma on my own. see, when you’re a person with a naturally bubbly personality and happiness is basically your default, when you show sadness or anger, people disappear or flat out abandon you. they love you for what they can take from you, even if that’s just your energy. they love sucking up good energy and you willingly give so much of it because you love so much and want so badly to be loved in return. so you give, give, give, until you’re so drained that your anxiety starts to get worse because when people don’t show up for you, you blame yourself. you think, “maybe it’s me. maybe i’m not doing enough.” but you’re actually doing too much. if you let everyone take your energy, and they don’t give back, what are you left with?

then, when you find out that one of them you trusted, someone that you’ve been friends with since freshman year, has been talking negatively behind your back because you set boundaries. someone you ran to crying because you were being harassed and STALKED and your “friends” didn’t care. then, they set off like a loose canon, telling everyone in your class your business without a second thought AND they still wonder why you’re distancing yourself from them.

i am still processing this stuff from last year and i realized why i don’t like to think about it so much is because so many people’s true colors were shown to me that were claiming to be on my side, and i just refused to see it. but i guess i couldn’t. i couldn’t lose my friends after dealing with Lucifer and all that trauma, so I shouldn’t blame myself for holding on. i needed to. i needed something. i’m not holding on to them anymore because it’s gotten to the point where i can’t ignore the red flags anymore and it’s only hurting me more.

last year i just felt violated because everything i did was under a microscope and i couldn’t catch a break no matter what i did. i just felt like that scene in cinderella where cinderella wore that pink dress and she didn’t know that she was wearing some of her step sisters’ clothes and they just start tearing her dress apart when she didn’t do anything wrong. she just wanted to go to the ball and have fun. people just love to hate me i guess.