#i feel like it's universal army experience to have that one friend

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello! Someone genuinely trying to understand and perhaps unlearn some reactionary tendencies. With the response to that anon about "not asking if you're a pro or anti", the response about "imagine if they put this much effort into protecting real kids" definitely got me thinking. So... Is an adult shipping children and finding that hot NEVER a red flag? Or is it case by case on seeing how that person handles the distinction between fiction and reality in other things? And bringing the issue of real kids into it, if a real kid who has been abused sees someone shipping kids and finds that a red flag in that person, that... No, no I juicy answered my own question on that one. Block them and cultivate your own experience.

hi there anon, and congrats on trying to unlearn some things! and great job catching yourself at the end there, that's exactly correct.

I will start by saying this right out of the gate: fundamentally, I do not really give a shit about what made up scenarios about fictional characters people are jorking it to in private. I am, first and foremost, interested in how they are interacting with actual, real people.

"but Makenzie are you saying people who look at sexually explicit images of real human kids should be allowed near children?" no I'm not. please note that I was specifically talking about people engaging with fictional characters who are, you know, not real and do not have feelings and therefore cannot actually be hurt, traumatized, abused, etc, in any way that actually matters. I want to be so clear about this: you can genuinely think whatever vile things you want about fictional characters. you can enjoy any problematic shit you want with little guys who don't actually exist.

like, here's an example I use a lot: I'm kind of a huge Batman fan. don't know if you could tell that or not, I'm pretty subtle about it. if you spend any time in the Batman mythos, you know that this is a story where you just kind of have to take for granted that our hero is a billionaire using his vast wealth to dispatch vigilante justice with military grade weaponry and a small army of child soldiers and cop friends to help him put people in prison. these are moral quandaries that are discussed and acknowledged within the story, but fundamentally the universe is always going to involve billionaire vigilantism and child soldiers and the so-called carceral justice system. that's just the price of admission if you're gonna read Batman.

and like. I spend a lot of time in that world. I love Batman, I love his child soldiers. he's my little blorbo or whatever. but like, at no point have I said "yeah, fuck it, preteens should be learning martial arts to fight domestic terrorists, actually. I think Elon Musk SHOULD be allowed to put on a fursuit and beat up criminals. cops need more funding." no amount of Batman comics can make me believe or act on any of those things because, you know, I'm a person with a brain and I know the difference between "thing that makes a good story" and "thing that should actually happen for real."

and the thing is that genuinely, honestly, if someone thought that it was a red flag that I like Batman, and that enjoying Batman comics was somehow a red flag indicating that I'm fine with violence being done against real, actual children? I would think that person was a nut, if I can be super real. like, I'm thinking about somebody trying to make the case that I shouldn't be allowed to hang out with my nephew because I enjoy the fictional character of Robin so clearly I'm going to kill my nephew's parents in front of him to try to get him into vigilante justice. or if someone attempted to bar me from teaching my 4th-6th grade sex ed classes on the grounds that I was obviously going to teach them to do karate to clowns instead of how their reproductive systems worked.

(although, lets be real, there are a lot of politicians who would MUCH rather let little kids cage fight each other than learn anything about safer sex.)

this doesn't just apply to morally bad things, either, btw. I also read a lot of romance novels, especially hetero romances. and the thing is, not one of those books has made me want to fall in love with a ruggedly handsome but condescending straight man. hell, none of them have made me want to fall in love with anybody, period. that's not really something I'm interested in for myself, it's just a fun and frequently funny dynamic to explore. I'm hardly the first queer person to point out that the allegations that queer media "turns kids gay/trans" is obviously bullshit since the vertible mountain of cishet media evidently failed to turn any of us straight/cis, you know?

my point being: no, I genuinely don't think it's often, if ever, reasonable to judge someone's actual, real life morals by how they interact with fiction.

I'm going to say something so vulnerable right now, because we're in a safe space here: since you asked me this very reasonable question, you evidently value my judgment and perspective at least a little bit. and I once read and thoroughly enjoyed a fic in which Dr. Horrible, from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, gets fucked by a sapient evil horse. and I don't think that makes me a morally reprehensible person, or a person who advocates for real human beings having real sex with real horses. I think it just makes me kind of a weirdo with a bullshit tolerance.

if you want to hear a MUCH more thorough take on this, complete with addressing the issue of shipping fictional children, I cannot recommend Princess Weekes' video essay enough:

[ffverr]

On the discourse (that somehow still exists) of why the X-Men are feared and hated but other genetically modified heroes like the Fantastic Four or some of the Avengers aren't :

I still see this argument online that some people, usually not X-Men fans, pull out in a sort of gotcha moment. To kind of stick it to Marvel for being unrealistic or to vouch for the fearing of other heroes in the marvel universe to tip the scales.

There are two points for the "why is *random x-men* oppressed and not *random marvel hero*" discourse that people are always intentionally missing.

One- A base of mutant fear and repression is the argument that "it could happen to your children too". It could happen to ANYONE, from birth, and there is nothing you can do about it. No being careful of scientific experiences can stop your close ones from becoming a mutant. (Kind of like people are okay with gay celebrities as long as they're doing their thing from afar but it's a threat when it comes to their children/Friends/family being gay)

They layed it on thick with this amazing advertisment back in the day: "do you know what your children are"??? I mean come on it's not rocket science

Fun fact, the kid labeled "mutie" here is actually Franklin Richards, son of Mister Fantastic and Invisible woman. He used to be a mutant and this goes to show how somehow johnny storm can be beloved but his super powered nephew doesn't get the same treatment.

Two- Spider-Man, the F4, the Avengers etc... All these heros who get some powers by some incident. They're supposed to be rare and few in between. The fear of mutants mainly comes from the fact that they started popping up in the MILLIONS. A mutant isn't necessarly seen as an honorable individual that acquires powers and realises they have the responsibility to use it for good. To humans, they're millions of people (or at least hundreds of thousands) that are, just by existing, threatening the status quo of humanity. They are changing the natural dominance of humans for good.

So of course humans love the F4 (usually). Because they're not scared to be replaced by them in their day to day life, however they are scared to be rendered obsolete by mutants. When humans look at the F4 they see brave selfless HUMAN heroes. They relate to them, they identify with them. They're a sweet family dedicated to the world's safety. In contrast, the mutants represent a world changing threat that truly shifts the balance. And that's not comfy at all no matter how cute or harmless the power is.

This difference can even cause very understandable tension in between the X-men and other super powered groups:

In short, the mutant moral panic comes from the fact that for exemple:

-humans are afraid to loose their jobs to super powered level talents.

-humans are scared from groups of super powered people that could threaten their safety.

-Governments are scared of these groups being the equivalent of entire armies concentrated in a single individual.

- They're scared that their children could turn into something unimaginable once they hit puberty

-And some just hate the idea of being manipulated by a random telepath on the street without ever knowing.

In contrast of Spider-Man, humans feel like nature is done with homo sapiens and THAT'S what brings hate and fear.

That's why everytime a mutant hate crime happens in the comics, it's always accompanied by some human saying "y'think you're better than us weirdo".

+ Contrary to the avengers, mutants also claim a culture, a shared history and common experiences between thousands. This binds them together in a way they doesn't necessarly make them identify with humans. And this is overall irritating and scary to humans.

Also, religious fear-mongering of mutants is rampant!!! It does a ton to set appart the mutants from the scientifically modified heros of the marvel universe.

In the end, one of the best comic to portray this whole thing is still God loves man Kills.

It depicts a villain, Striker, that gains popularity by spreading religious propaganda to justify mutant hate. In an emotional and shocking twist, we come to find that Striker has had a mutant son, that he killed with his own hand because he was a "monster".

You can understand how Captain America, with his super body, doesn't really evoke the same existential dread. Bigotry isn't rational, but also, a shit ton of things complicate the mutant's inclusion into society that doesn't necessarly parallel perfectly with real world struggles so that's also to take into consideration.

[bugboybuck]

i dont have time to write something proper for day one of @bucktommypositivityweek but i wanted to share a lil drabble/ramble anyway in the spirit of things, so: what tommy loves about buck

tommy grew up in a stiflingly oppressive environment, a household full of anger and coldness. he lived in fear about who he was, what he wanted. he was threatened by his father, his army COs, gerrard, and his survival response was to hide himself away, lock up parts of himself, bury the things he could get hurt for.

his first thought upon getting to know evan wasn't 'wow, here's a perfectly adjusted guy who hasn't had any struggles.' frankly, between his adorably awkward jokes, casually mentioning getting struck by lightning, and trying to kill his best friend with mind lasers over tommys attention, evan seemed like a bit of a hot mess.

but what drew tommy to him so strongly was seeing someone who'd clearly had a lot of weird, difficult life experiences still be like - that. bouncing around on his feet with energy when tommy showed him around the hangar, making dumb jokes, throwing himself headfirst into a basketball game he didn't even like. bringing a brand new date to his sisters wedding. folding tommy into his family nearly immediately, every one of his actions screaming I'm serious about this; no reservations, no holding back.

it only got worse - better - as they got to know each other. it felt like every date they went on, evan dropped some insane piece of lore from his life. his injuries on the job, his disastrous track record with romance, the wild travels he'd been on while finding himself. not too long into knowing each other, the whole thing about his brother, and his parents, and his sister - which explained a lot of the abandonment issues tommy could have seen from space.

and whenever he says something like that, tommys first thought usually isn't marvelling at how ridiculously unlucky Evans life has been. it's how amazing he finds it that evan is still open and happy and throws himself into everything he does head-first, like he's trying to trust the universe to, this time, not let him down.

tommy knows evan isn't all sunshine and roses. he gets downright snippy when he has a to-do list, is more than a bit neurotic, over-anxious about pointless things when tommy's more a 'go with the flow' kind of guy (a 'sure I'll fly into a hurricane for an old friend' kind of guy, a 'I've come out the other side of the shittiest time of my life already, so what have I got to lose?' kind of guy). but evan is - so open. even when he's being annoying, he doesn't try to reign it in. his brain is like a steel trap for facts, he's far from dumb, but when he doesn't know something, he openly and instantly admits it. he's free with hugs and affection but also with a bitchy comment if someone deserves it. he over-shares with no shame. he over-everythings, really. he's so much. and tommy has spent most of his life with not-enough. depriving himself; being deprived. he wants to gorge himself on evans too-much-ness

tommy feels like evan lives his life wide open. and he knows evan has been hurt a lot, for it. but for tommy, who spent thirty years stuffed into a cramped closet space - who felt claustrophobic, trapped, like he couldn't see the sky - Evans openness gives him the same feeling as flying. awe.

so that's what tommy loves most about him. the fact that he's a badass and a blowjob savant who cooks and is built like a sexy brick wall are all just bonuses.

[jovialbasementmusic]

What do you do with a brainwashed army of cult survivors?

At the end of Heart Part 2, Etheria still has a population of thousands of Horde Prime’s clones. This is going to be, putting it mildly, a Problem for the Etherians. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen what happens to a cult follower when they are faced with conclusive evidence that their entire worldview was false, but you probably have some intuitive idea. Imagine if you said to a young-Earth creationist “Hey, here are multiple overlapping lines of evidence proving beyond reasonable doubt that life on Earth evolved over hundreds of millions of years,” or to a Scientologist, “Check out this evidence that L. Ron Hubbard was a fraudster who started a cult as a money-making racket!” You can probably guess that in each of those cases, the response is unlikely to be, “Goodness, I have been mistaken all my life! Thank you, kind friend, for relieving me of my false beliefs.”

As someone who’s left a cult, let me tell you, the clones are not all gonna react like Hordak or Wrong Hordak.

You might have heard of cognitive dissonance theory, but most people misuse the term, so I’ll quickly explain it. When humans encounter information which contradicts or disproves their deeply held beliefs, they experience psychological discomfort. This feeling sucks, and people will go to great lengths not to experience it. But when those beliefs are central to your identity and your place in the world, letting go of those beliefs also sucks, and people will go to even greater lengths not to do it. So they resolve the cognitive dissonance however they can. They might decide the person who gave them this information is an evil liar and lash out at them. They might find a way to convince themselves the information is in fact compatible with their beliefs after all, and then try not to think too hard about whatever mangled assemblage of the facts they have settled on, in case it falls apart under closer examination. They might modify their beliefs slightly to fit the facts ("Prime always said he would go away for a while before returning in triumph!"), and then maintain that this is what they thought all along.

As an aside, one of the landmark texts on cognitive dissonance theory is When Prophecy Fails, which tracks the actions of a doomsday cult after the world failed to end on their predicted date. Sure enough, the acolytes of this cult did not abandon their beliefs despite this pretty concrete evidence that they had been wrong. Instead, they started recruiting new followers as hard as possible. They tried to get social reinforcement for their beliefs (“This must be true—look how many people believe it!”) to help them cope with the empirical disconfirmation they’d just lived through. So yeah, this theory is highly applicable to cult behaviour. And Prime’s clones are quite definitely a cult.

So it’s fair to say that just because the Hive Mind is down and She-Ra has just kicked Prime’s ass into oblivion, the clones are not all gonna just accept that Prime is gone and his mission is over. Some of them are going to continue fighting, convinced that Prime is not really gone. Some will insist that their connection to the Hive Mind is still intact, and deliver messages as the word of Prime. At least one clone is going to claim to be the reincarnation of Prime himself, and begin recruiting followers. More likely, several clones will attempt this gambit, creating factions with names like The True Followers of Prime and The Glorious Servants of Prime. These factions will go to war with each other in service of their Prime (honourable, redeeming) against the enemy’s Prime (evil, destructive). As time goes on, these factions’ ideas about Prime’s teachings will diverge, providing new opportunities for conflict. If they’re allowed to go on long enough, probably some benign and progressive versions of Prime’s cult will emerge, teaching that Prime in fact existed to bring peace and freedom to the Universe, and that those warlike factions have strayed from the true path of Prime.

All of this gives the people in charge of Etheria a headache. Etheria doesn’t believe in retributive justice, and as brainwashed cult members, the clones have diminished responsibility for war crimes they committed while Prime was alive. So it’s fair to say they can’t kill them. But they also can’t just ship them all off to live unsupervised in a colony somewhere in case they radicalise each other and start another war. Sure, some of them will follow Wrong Hordak into accepting that Prime lied to them, and they will find meaning by travelling the universe, attempting to restore planets Prime destroyed. Some, like Hordak, will give themselves names and begin the agonising process of creating an identity for themselves outside of everything they ever thought was true. But what of the rest of them? They’re essentially adult children, ignorant of everything Prime did not want them to know. They also trigger PTSD flashbacks in a great many citizens of Etheria, who cannot look at them without remembering what they suffered under the Horde.

What do you do with that many brainwashed survivors? What does compassion and restorative justice demand? I don’t know if I’ll get around to writing this as a fic or not, so here’s the setup and you can let your imaginations take it where you like. I’m new to tumblr and to the spop fandom, so if you read this far I’d really appreciate a reblog. And if anyone else has already had similar ideas, I’d really like to read them.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

could i get gnarpy with an alien reader (preferebly platonic) just get creative with it i guess (i just wanna see stuff where the reader id an alien because my character is an alien 😭)

For funsies I'll make reader a dog alien (since gnarpy is a cat I think it'd be pretty funny)

.............

"Don't you ever get tired of-?"

"AH!"

"What?! What's wrong??"

"Nothing. I forgot an inferior being haz boarded thiz gleeping box."

"...now that's a bit rude." Shaking your head, you hung back by your corner of the elevator, gazing over at the Gnarpian who kept looking back at you with contempt.

Clearly, xey despised your presence from the moment you showed up from the Area 51 floor, where you infiltrated the facility as a command center for your troops. You found friends in the biological lifeforms that were held there, working together to prevent intrusions while your army refueled their spaceships.

You only enter the elevator to explore other "worlds".....and one of them apparently was the Two Stud Camp on Earth, which was constantly being invaded by the Gnarpians.

Usually it was Spud who came seeking refuge from the impending UFO attack, but this time Gnarpy showed up instead, xyr armor black as the night sky.

You were sworn enemies, with your people being at war with each other for as long as you could remember.

The only reason xey never shot you on sight was simply because killing you would be "boring" in xyr eyes. Xey would rather see you and your species humbly submit to xyr ruling, believing that would bring more satisfaction to their ego than a simple death by laser.

But knowing you were safe within the elevator meant there was a chance to extend the olive branch.....even though xey keep blasting that branch over and over again.

Still, you never gave up trying to achieve a peaceful coexistence. Your people were more diplomatic, seeking to resolve things without excessive violence. And while you remained curious about the lifeforms in this universe, you had absolutely no desire to experiment on any of them. Especially not for entertainment or to see how they "work" on the inside.

You found such a practice to be horrifying, yet Gnarpy likes to brag about it just to get you riled up.

But you resist showing any rage. That would be giving in to what xey want you to be.

"The creaturez in Area 51 would be great azzetz to the Gnarpian army. They would zerve a better purpoze as weaponz of war Why let them wazte away in a gloorpy dump like that?!"

"They aren't "wasting away", Gnarp." You frowned at the cat. "We've provided them with better living conditions-"

"We Gnarpians would have given them that and more." Xey sneered, ears flicking as xyr head turned towards the elevator's buttons. "You're too zoft. And one day..that will be your ultimate undoing, gleepy mutt."

"Being soft doesn't mean we're weak. We just don't fancy torturing innocent species who've done nothing wrong. What you did to Spud..that poor human...it's sickening."

Gnarpy swiveled xyr head back to you, tilting it to the side. "I'm zorry, who?"

"You know exactly who."

"....I really don't."

"You had something to do with that, Gnarp. Stop denying it." Sighing, you watched as somebody inserted a floor ticket into the machine. "One day, I'm gonna find a way to fix him and udo all the damage you did."

"I ztill don't know who you're talking about!"

".....maybe you deny your involvement because you feel guilty?"

".........."

"Huh...got your tongue, didn't I?"

As the elevator dinged and the doors opened into the cardboard mansion you decided to get off here and walk out into the living room. "I'm leaving. Enjoy the rest of the ride, friend." You waved a paw to the now fuming cat.

"Good riddance, you gleeper! That'z the lazt time you get under my fur!! Gleepo gloop!" Gnarpy shouted some curse words at you as you went through the door and vanished into the darkness.

Then Xey just stood in the corner, grumbling under xyr breath and tapping xyr foot, waiting for the other occupants to return from their exploration.

One day, xey'll get you to see things from xyr point of view.

[canadianfangirl-95]

Benny Miller- Sugar Daddy edition

Chapter One!

Summary: Your gym crush becomes unmanageable when he is suddenly thrust upon you as your new boxing trainer. After a drunken hook up at a night club opening, you begin to explore your feelings as you continue to learn new and exciting things about him.

About: Continuation of the sugar daddies AU Triple Frontier collection. See Frankie’s story or original teaser post for more information.

Characters- Kayla and Tasha are undescribed, so you can imagine them as your own friend group.

Chapter Warning: 18 + minors, DNI, age difference, reader is early 20s, Benny is late 30s, swearing, alcohol, violence (boxing), making out, grinding (dancing)

Chapter Word Count: 4k+

“Duck!”

Your attention suddenly turns to the padded boxing glove coming right at your face, it collides just seconds later with your right cheek, sending you bent over onto the boxing ring mat.

“Ooo, that looks like it hurt.” Your friend Kayla mutters into her fist, leaning on the ropes of the ring.

An outstretched hand reaches down to pull you back up, you accept it begrudgingly, knowing it was your own damn fault you ended up down here.

Your face was met with your trainer, Carlos when you stood up straight. He was in his forties, but you’d never know. He had short black hair and a stiff jaw, his arms adorned with tattoos. He had been training you for a while now and offered a sort of big brother relationship you hadn’t had before.

“What’s with you? Your attention has been all over the place tonight.” he said, peeling off his gloves.

You looked down at the mat embarrassed, “I don’t know, just got distracted. Come on we don’t have to stop; I promise I’m in it.” Bouncing on your feet you tried to engage him again while the throbbing in your cheek started to grow.

Shaking his head, he replied, “I’m not trying to hurt you, we’ll stop here, and you can do some cardio.” He collected the rest of his training supplies in his bag and stepped out of the ring.

Slumping your shoulders forward, you walked over to the corner where Kayla was leaning on the ropes, standing on the floor below the ring to take off your gloves.

“What was that all about?” she asked.

You shrugged, “It was nothing, I just lost focus for fucking what, two seconds? It happens.” But that wasn’t the truth, the truth was that you were distracted by him again.

You don’t even know his name, just see him in the gym all the time, either working out or training other boxers. You sipped from your water as you casually peered over to the other side of the gym to the mirrored wall. He was standing in front of it lifting weights.

Tall, dirty blonde hair, muscles flexing out of his Army t-shirt, a bit of scruff and the most beautiful blue eyes you’ve ever seen. He had a tattoo of an army man on his right shoulder that made you swoon. He was so handsome it made your core ache just watching him lift weights.

You couldn’t even fathom the idea of talking to him. Just looking at him made your knees weak. You imagine to yourself how easily he could throw you around with those big strong arms, and how badly you wanted to run your fingers through his hair.

Once again, you and Kayla found yourselves at the gym down the road from the University of Kentucky. They had an agreement where students got free membership, so you only had to pay for the training. The room had dark green paint and motivational sayings all over the walls. It was part of a big organization, but the employees worked really hard to make it a personal experience. There was a long wall of mirrors with weights for people to lift facing and every exercise machine you could possibly think of. You both made your way to the far back corner where a boxing ring is set up.

You tossed your gym bag up onto the mat and climbed in, adjusting your sneakers before standing up and placing your bag on the stool in the corner. You glanced around the room, looking for nothing really, you knew you wouldn’t see him here today as you had somewhat learned his routine, but you couldn’t help but hope you might catch a glimpse of his t-shirt being pulled tight across his chest.

“You know you should really just talk to him.” Kayla said pointedly, fiddling with your roll of athletic tape that you tossed on the mat as you tried to collect your things.

You furrowed your eyebrows at her, “Who?”

She rolled her eyes, “The hunky guy you’ve been staring at for months.”

“Oh, you uh- noticed that?” You ran your hand through your ponytail and leaned on the ropes so you could speak quieter to her.

Nodding, she replied, “Mhmm, and I really think you should take a shot.”

“Girl, have you seen him? How old would you think he is?” You jousted back at her, growing frustrated by her intrusion.

She pursed her lips and smiled, “Well, if this were One Tree Hill I’d say he’s old enough to be your dad-,”

“Exactly, fuck.” You exclaimed.

“Which, is pretty hot if you ask me.” She smirked.

You leaned forward and grabbed the tape from her. Ripping off a piece and strategically wrapping it around your knuckles you commented, “It’s a good thing I didn’t ask you then, did I?”

She scrunched her nose and gave you a smug look, to which you flipped her off.

“Hey, I’m just saying, you and Mike have been broken up for 4 months, your grieving period is over and now it’s time for you to have some fun. Like having a dirty, depraved hookup with a guy you have no business being with. Like that guy I hooked up with after the St. Patrick’s Day party.”

You rolled your eyes, “If that guy is the standard I’m looking for I think I’m happy being celibate.”

“Hey, he was cute!” She swatted your leg through the ropes.

You nudged your leg back at her, “He had a handlebar mustache and was wearing cut off jean shorts so don’t even start with me.”

“Shouldn’t you be doing your own workout? You don’t have to spend your whole time here watching me train.”

She hummed, “Yeahhhh, but it’s also more fun to bug you. Plus, I’m not really here for the whole exercise thing, just for the eye candy.” She said as she scanned the gym intently.

You giggled to yourself as you finished putting together your tape and gloves.

Suddenly her eyes widened and reached back to swat your leg again, “Speaking of eye candy.”

You followed her gaze and saw none other than your crush talking to the receptionist at the entry way. You bent down, “What the fuck is he doing here today? He never comes on Fridays!”

She shook her head, “I don’t know, but- um he’s walking in this direction.” She quickly turned her back to him and gave you a shocked expression.

“What!” You quietly exclaimed. “No, no, no why is he coming over here?”

She waved her arms casually, “Just calm down, no need to panic. He probably just needs something in this general area. No reason to think he’s coming over here.” You nodded, shifting your gaze to find that he was still on a path towards the ring. “But I mean if he was coming over here. You could finally talk to him.”

“Not happening! I am perfectly content staring at him from a distance and imaging what his bicep would taste like thank you very much.” She giggled at the mental image you just tossed into her head.

You glanced above her head and realized he was definitely walking towards the ring and was now trying to make eye contact with you. You muttered to Kayla, “No, no, no, no, no-,”

“Hey.” he said with a wave as he reached the outside of the ring beside Kayla. He was wearing a grey Under Armour t-shirt that was so tight the arms sat snuggly on his biceps, with navy gym shorts and running shoes.

You flung up straight, “Hi.” Kayla gave you a little thumbs up from the side of her body he couldn’t see.

He tossed his bag through the ropes and climbed up, “You must be Carlos’ 4 o’clock?”

Nodding, you hummed, “Yep.” Slowly backing into the corner of the ring.

“Great, I’m Benny. So, uh- bad news. Carlos had to go home to Honduras for a family emergency, he’ll be gone for a few weeks at least. So, I promised I would take over his sessions until he returns.”

Your eyes widened; he’d be training you? Oh no, this is not good you thought. “Oh, sorry to hear about Carlos. That sounds like a lot to take on, don’t you have your own clients? I could always just take a few weeks off.” You said brazenly, trying not to be too flustered.

He shook his head, “No, no it’s fine I promise.” His smile was so bright you could’ve melted under its shine. “I’m happy to help, I just had a client transfer to a different gym anyway, so I’ve got the time.”

“Really? Because that seems like a lot to take on.” You choked out.

“I’ve got the time.” he stated, resting his hands on his hips, and grinning at your flustered state.

Kayla chirped in from below you, “He’s got the time.”

You glared down at her, and she winked.

Clapping his hands together he began putting his boxing mitts on. You feigned a smiled and turned to Kayla who was still beaming from the interaction.

You chugged your water, your mouth had gone completely dry during the interaction and finally stepped towards the center of the ring.

After getting himself prepped he met you there. “So, Carlos said you’re not training for professional fighting, just for exercise, right?”

Nodding, you pulled your lips tight. “Yep.”

“What got you interested in boxing?” He asked.

You shifted your stance, “Um, just uh- wanted to be more active and I find the machines boring.” You lied through your teeth.

He nodded, “Alright well let’s see what you got.”

The hour was excruciating. Both from the work out, and from how your heart ached even more for him. The entire time he was nice and understanding and not at all condescending like some of the other trainers who had stepped in for Carlos. He has an enthusiasm about him that finally broke your resolve and made you laugh and smile throughout. You felt the want to impress him and really started focusing on the skills you had learned over the last few months. You bounced around the mat ducking his advances until you finally planted a jab into his gut.

He let out a grunt and slapped his glove onto his stomach, “Oof! Damn girl, that was sneaky. Talk about float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. You look like a bunny bouncing around on the toes.”

You smirked and knocked your gloves against his to close the session. “Thanks, you’re a good teacher.”

He removed his one glove to toss his hair back that had gotten sweaty during the session and was sticking to his forehead. You held your gaze far longer than you should have.

Benny collected his bag and turned to you, “That’s all I got for today, I’ll see you on Monday Bunny.”

“Okay, see you.” You smiled shyly. He offered you a large grin and nodded to Kayla as he exited the ring.

Once he was far enough away you fell to the mat and sat with your knees bent, leaning against the corner.

“Awwww, Benny and Bunny!” Kayla mewled.

You huffed, “Fuck, he’s got a lot of energy. I’m exhausted. He’s like a golden retriever. Just keeps going and going.” You panted.

Kayla leaned forward, “Yeah, can we keep him?” She had shit eating grin on her face and popped her eyebrows up and down.

“Fuck, no. I don’t need another dog.” You smirked.

She looked confused, “What other dog do you have?”

“You, ya fucking mutt.” You nudged her and her mouth gapped with a sarcastically hurt look on her face. “You’re enough to take care of, trust me.”

She shook her head, “Well, I think once Carlos is back you should see if he wants to go out.”

When Carlos gets back. Huh, you thought to yourself. You loved working with him, but Benny was something else. You almost didn’t want to lose your 3 hours a week where you would have his undivided attention.

The following Friday was your fourth session with Benny, each one better than the last. He was fun and bubbly and dare you say flirtatious. Even Kayla saw and quite frankly could not shut up about it.

You had just finished up your session when Benny crossed back over the ring to your corner. “So, what do you lovely ladies have going on tonight? Friday night, any big parties?”

Kayla and you glanced at each other before you replied, “We’re gonna go to that club opening downtown actually with a few other friends.”

His eyes lit up, “Gators? Oh, sweet I’m going too.”

Your eyes widened, “Cool, well maybe we’ll see you there I guess.”

“See you later.” He beamed with excitement as he left the ring once again.

You groaned as you entered your apartment with Kayla, who was skipping behind you.

Your other roommate Tasha perked up from her place on the couch, noticing your disgruntled attitude and how you rested your head between your crossed arms on the kitchen island, Kayla shimmying her shoulders beside you. “What’s her problem?”

Kayla bounced in her spot, “Her hot trainer Benny is going to the same club opening tonight.”

You groaned louder into your arms, Tasha squinted her eyes and drew her eyebrows inward, “And that’s a bad thing because?”

Your head shot up and you replied exasperated, “Because he’s so, so hot, nice and funny.” You paused, biting your lip, Tasha staring at you waiting for the boot to drop, “But he’s older.”

“How much older?”

“At least fifteen years I’d guess.” You said, tucking your head back down.

Kayla scoffed, “Can you just not count yourself out before you’ve even started? Geeze, Mike really did a number on you. Remind me to kick his ass next time I see him.”

You huffed a laugh into your arms. She continued, “Just, put on something sexy, try to have fun tonight and if you see him, just be yourself. Whatever happens, happens.”

“You’re right, I’ll try to have fun.” You said, pulling your head up begrudgingly and exiting for your post work out shower.

Loud country music filled the room as crowds of people danced along. You glided through, holding hands with your friends as you all tried to find a place to settle before grabbing some drinks. The room was a pretty typical country bar; dance floor in the middle, wood and western style décor with a mechanical bull on the stage, a big painting of an alligator with a cowboy hat on it on the wall behind the DJ booth.

Upon finding an open tall table to stand at, you and your friends leaned against it and scanned the room, bobbing your head to the music. You had done your hair and makeup nicely and had put on a tight black dress with spaghetti straps that showed off your curves with short red cowboy boots.

Kayla leaned in, “Does anybody want a drink now?”

You nodded with Tasha and her friend Chris. “I’ll come with you. What do you want?”

Tasha and Chris gave you and Kayla their orders and cash. You and Kayla sifted through the hoards of people to the densely packed bar. Kayla squeezed her shoulders between two guys while you stood sturdily behind her, trying not to get knocked around.

Your eyes flicked around the buzzing room, looking for Benny. You weren’t sure if you would even talk to him if you found him, but it still made you nervous at the thought he might be here.

Kayla turned to you, grabbing your attention back and she handed you two drinks before reaching again for the others. You and she returned to your friends and started drinking and getting into the vibe of the club. Eventually you all made your way to the dance floor after the drinks had started flowing and you let yourself forget about Benny and just enjoy the night.

You and Tasha were dancing along to the music when you suddenly felt unfamiliar hands land on your hips from behind you. You turned your head and were met with a man, around your height and age, plaid shirt to match the theme of the club, a brown beard and mustache with green eyes. Not unattractive by any means but not your type. You kindly stepped out of his clutches and danced beside him, rolling your eyes at Tasha. The man seemingly unaware of your rejection, followed behind you, moving his hands to your waist again and situating himself closely behind you. You stopped your movement and grabbed his hands, pushing him off you.

Turning to him you bluntly said, “No thanks.”

He crowded you again, which caused you to raise your hands in a defensive manner, “Oh come on baby it’s just one dance.”

Your face could not show more annoyance, but before you were able to respond, a strong hand latched onto the man’s shoulder, spinning him in his spot. You glanced over his shoulder, your eyes widened when you spotted Benny looming over the man.

“She’s not interested man, get lost.” he said, still clutching the man’s shoulder. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt, light washed jeans with a few intentional rips and square toe boots.

Benny’s stature and attitude clearly did the trick as the man nodded nervously and stepped aside, disappearing into the crowd.

“I guess I owe you a thank you.” You stated nervously.

He smiled, “Don’t, the only one thanking me should be him. I’ve seen your right hook, and he probably would prefer he goes home tonight with his nose intact.”

You grinned, looking around you. Tasha had apparently exited sometime during the incident, and you were left totally alone on a booming dance floor with your mysterious crush.

He leaned forward, “Wanna get a drink?”

His eyes were so light and inviting, you swallowed deeply, willing your nerves away and replied, “Sure.”

Taking your hand, he led you through the crowd to the bar. He easily captured the attention of the bartender and ordered the two of you shots. He turned to you handing you the second shot, he had a devilish grin on his face.

You looked down at the liquid, not recognizing the colouring. “What is this?” You yelled through the music, pointing to the shot glass in your hand.

“Tequila!” he replied, popping his eyebrows up and down and shimmying to the music.

Your eyes bulged, you hadn’t had tequila in a while and last time you did you made some unfavorable decisions. You looked back up at the handsome man in front of you, waiting excitedly for your acknowledgement that you wanted to do the shots with him. You took a deep breath and held it up for him to cheers with. His eyes lit up and clinked his glass against yours, both of you downing the burning liquid swiftly. You both let out a huff and laughed to one another.

“You wanna dance Bunny? I’ve already seen your moves in the ring, but I wanna see what you’ve got on the dance floor.” he asked, shimmying his shoulders towards you.

“Aren’t you here with anybody?” You ask.

He shook his head, “I came here with my brother cuz’ he’s in town visiting from New York, but he just ditched me like 20 minutes ago. Doesn’t like clubs anymore, he’s like really old.” He said with a wink.

You nodded, suddenly feeling the effects of the tequila as your body became warm. “Sure, why not!”

He took your hand again and returned to the dance floor. The two of you bounced back and forth from the dance floor to the bar for an hour. Downing shots and dancing along to the country music that played along with the rest of the crowd.

Midnight struck and the DJ announced they would be switching the music to a more night club vibe.

The room darkened and the lights flashed as vibrant hip hop music boomed through the speakers. The people cheered and started bumping about, effectively pushing you into Bennys chest. You let out a meek sorry and tried to separate yourself from him.

He looked down at you, leaning into your ear to speak, “Don’t be.”

You met his eyes, they were dark. You didn’t hesitate when he reached his arms around your back, bringing you closer and slanting his leg between yours. You instinctively brought your arms up and wrapped them around his neck as you both started swaying to the music. No words were spoken, but your bodies clung to one another like your lives depended on it. He had his hands grazing gently along your back and hips, following your movement as you lightly grinded on his leg. Your eyes never strayed, each of you staring into the other with a burning desire that felt so questioned at the same time. Should you, shouldn’t you passed through your mind on repeat. You would surely survive if you held your resolve and refused yourself in your want to fall into his body fully. You still had at least a week of training with him before Carlos returned, and even then, you would still have to see him at the gym multiple times a week. If he didn’t feel a spark, if he didn’t want you longer than a night, you may not survive the ache that would bring to your heart as you had gotten to know him more in the last week.

Kayla’s words rang through your eyes, “Don’t count yourself out before you’ve even started.” How were you to know this couldn’t be the start of something. Maybe he isn’t just some guy in his late thirties who likes to bang college girls. Perhaps he does feel what you feel, and perhaps the risk would be worth it in the end.

As you toyed with your own emotions, Benny seemed fully decided, flicking his eyes between yours and your lips. He readjusted his hold on you, bringing his hands together on the small of your back and squeezing slightly. You both leaned in and after a desperate breath of desire, slotted your mouths together in an aching kiss. Wasting no time, he licked at your mouth, begging for entry to deepen the kiss. You obliged and the two of you fell into each other, hands grabbing at hair and bare skin. The rest of the room disappeared, all you could hear was your heartbeat and the intense breathing between the two of you as you gasped for breath between kisses. You felt your core start that unbearable ache and need to be satisfied. You squirmed slightly, trying to get a bit of friction on his leg and release some of the tension you felt building.

After what felt like eternity and no time at all, you broke the kiss and looked up at him, chest heaving, “Wanna get out of here?” you asked, timidly.

He grinned, “Fuck yeah.”

Benny took your hand and led you out the club, you were quickly able to shoot a look at Kayla as you passed, to which she responded with a big cheer and a crude gesture.

When you emerged from the hazy club, the liquor you had both been consuming began to overtake you as you stumbled towards a cab Benny was somehow able to wave down between his own hiccupped laughs at your imbalance. You slid into the cab and chuckled to him as you gave the driver your apartment address and he mocked you for the way your words slurred.

Once the cab pulled off the curb and began the quick drive to your place, Benny was back on you like a cat on a mouse. You held his face in your hands and laughed between mouthfuls of each other. He pulled your leg up onto his lap and ran his hand up your thigh to squeeze your ass through your skimpy dress. His poor excuse for facial hair tickled your neck as he lapped up every inch of exposed skin he could find.

The cab finally pulled to a jolted stop in front of your apartment, Benny reached into his wallet and handed the driver some bills, as well as an apology for the misconduct that had occurred in the back seat. He guided you out of the car and shut the door behind you.

You took his hand and led him upstairs to your floor. Upon reaching your door you paused, looking to him, your uncertainty taking over you once again, “Are you sure you wanna come in? It’s okay, if you don’t. We can just blame this whole thing on a drunken mishap and-,”

Before you could finish your self-deprecating rambling, Benny crashed his mouth back into yours. He pushed your body into the front of the door with his own and held your jaw with his hands. You were taken aback but accepted that he did in fact want this as much as you did, so you lifted your hands up to his elbows and stayed in the moment with him.

He slowly pulled his mouth off yours with a slight pop, his lips were already swollen and eyes stary. “Are you gonna let me in or you gonna keep trying to convince yourself I don’t want this?”

You swallowed deeply, and nodded, turning your body from his grips so you could unlock the door. It swung open and you fell into your apartment, dragging Benny behind you by the neck of his t-shirt.

His eyes stayed on you the whole time, while you kicked off your shoes, while you put your purse on the counter, while you fumbled with the lamp in the living room to give some light to the space.

The air between the two of you was electric as you met in the middle of the room, bringing each other into one last kiss before you break and take his hand, leading him down the hallway to the bedrooms. He smiled to you as you opened your bedroom door and followed you in. You prompted him to pass you and then reached up onto the front of the door at the sign hanging there. You grabbed it and turned it over to read “Do not disturb”, before kicking the door closed with your foot.

Next chapter

@rmwarn90 @meveispunk

[13thdoctorposts]

Michelle Gomez Panel

Please note this IS NOT word for word, but so you can get a general gist of the panel. Both Michelle and Sacha were hilarious.

Whovians of all ages got to ask Michelle questions.

This post is just Michelle’s panel I’ll make separate posts for them together and Sacha’s panel soon!

How’s your New Zealand accent?

Bad I only have one and it’s Scottish I’ve been working on it my entire life… so 27 years. Lol

What was your favourite episode of Doctor Who to film?

I went to set and there was an army Daleks of every variety, and I stuck my 8 year old son in one and they started filming and I didn’t know were he was just that he in was in a Dalek.

Would you like to be in the new series of Doctor Who?

Hell yes, I’m just waiting for the call.

In Who and Sabrina you play a define feminine who was wronged by others what was your motivation to play these kind of villains?

With my face it’s hard not to plays witches and bitches and I long to play a character called Alison but Madam it is. I want to make sure I’m not just playing bad, I believe people are the way they are because of their experiences, so what makes them bad? That’s what interests me in the characters.

Did you like sitting on the throne of hell in Sabrina?

I loved sitting on it and wish I could have taken it home, I would have made room for it.

Did you Ad lib much in Doctor Who?

Steven Moffatt is a phenomenal writer so there’s not much you could add to it. But sometimes on the day something would fit. But Moffatt wrote to my strengths so I didn’t feel I needed to.

Why did you want to help the Doctor?

There’s a thing called a frenemy, keep your enemy’s close. They were originally friends and like all relationships they go through good times and bad times and sometimes they go their different ways. The master went to the dark side and the Doctor went to that other side. I was trying to bring in the nuance to that relationship

If you make it to the new series will you still help the Doctor?

No

If you put Missy and Lilith in a room together would they plot world domination or try to kill each other?

I think they would try each others costumes on. Once I wanted to bust of of Missy’s costume and it was hot so I took the top layer off and thought I’d just wear the petty coats in the scene, and Steven Moffatt was like… what are you doing? This is a children’s show, put your clothes back on. Lol. Lilith got lots of incredible costumes.

Being the last of the Timelords do you think the Master and the Doctor ever had a child?

Wow, I don’t know, I’m not sure the Doctor and the Master have those bits. They’re like Barbie and Ken. The first thing you do with a figurine of yourself is check.

What would you have changed about Missy’s costume?

I don’t think it could have been more Missy, it was a phenomenal image. It sent the message that Mary Poppin’s was the most evil woman in the Universe. There was a corset and after lunch I did hate the costume.

How did you get the role of Missy?

I was offered another part but I was doing psycho bitches at the time so I wrote to Steven Moffatt if you need a villainess I’m your man. Then a couple months later my agent called, said to sit down and that Steven was offering me the role of the Master, I was blown away. I might have planted the seed, I’d like to take credit for it.

If you could travel with any other Doctor and torment them who would it be?

Tom Baker

Do you like being the villain of Doctor Who?

I do. If anyone is listening I do, I would like to come back, stop fucking around, I’m available.

There’s episodes with multiple Doctors why can’t we have multiple Masters?

Because there’s only one! Although Sacha is quite good, I like Sacha.

Were you nervous the first time you were on TV?

Yeah, that was a long time ago on a show called The Bill and I played a ticket warden. The director said to do a banana around the car and slap a ticket on the window. I didn’t know what a ‘banana’ was so I acted like I was slipping on a banana, landed on the ground, the crew looked at me and I just jumped up and they told me what I actually needed to do.

What was your favourite part of being chaotic and fun with your Missy?

They let me piss about with focus, I could be physically free, I could dance and bounce a lot.

Can you share a funny moment on Doctor Who?

I was nervous, it was my first day, Peter and Jenna were there, when I get nervous I over compensate so I grabbed Peter, it’s like I go into some kind of black out, I threw him against the wall and snogged him, had my hand behind my back, because I knew that would make a nice visual, Jenna Coleman took my hand, that was my first 5 mins, it was weird.

What was it like being on set with Peter?

When I was younger I’d see Peter around and he was so cool like the David Bowie of paisley. And I looked up to him. When we started working together I felt like I already knew him, we had an instant short hand, so we crack each other up.

Shouting from the back…

Sacha: Oh so boring!

Michelle: SECURITY, SECURITY!

*Coming soon… there will be a part 2 with both of them and 3 with Sacha… I just don’t have time to post now.

[hindulivesmatter]

I'm from the USA and took a lot of Indian history courses at my university. You might already know this or have guessed it, but a lot of what we learned was taught from a leftist--and at times explicitly Marxist--perspective. This was even stronger in other (but thankfully not all!) social studies departments where there were classes focusing solely on various social ills of Hinduism with regard to caste and issues of feminism, yet almost nothing negative could be said if it might be critical of Islam or Muslim figures, (Mahmud of Ghazni being a notable exception for one of my professors.) There was a whole class on British colonialism; no details were spared. Horrible famines in the Deccan, Odisha, Bengal. The decimation of the textile industry. Banning bharatanatyam. The salt tax. Accounts of how a British man kicked one of his servants to death, and another of how the poor and sick congregated outside the gates of a hospital in the south that at the time would only help Europeans. Jallianwala Bagh. But Aurangzeb? Completely whitewashed. You would think Sikhs carry a kirpan for no reason. It was only through reading additional books and documents for my essays and projects that I learned about how he tore down temples, smashed murtis (and stole valuable ones,) levied a double tax on non-Muslims, etc. I remember reading an account of a traveler going through the south at the time of the Deccan wars, remarking on how you could find entire villages empty and deserted fields full of unharvested crops because the people had fled advancing armies. In one region his forces simply killed some Telugu-speaking Brahmins serving the local king rather than force them to convert, and in another his forces captured a royal scribe, forced him to convert to Islam, and forcibly circumcized him before the man killed himself. Obviously the history of all things under the umbrella of Hinduism or any other system is not perfect, but there was a huge difference in how critical you could be of Hinduism (and even western traditions/ideas) compared to Islam.

Sometimes I daydream about what it would have been like to study Sangam literature in India or to experience Andal without needing an English translation, or going to translate old Sanskrit copies of the Mahabharata whose telling is unique to a certain village or something. But ultimately I'm glad I chose to be a research scientist instead and have a career in that, because I don't think I would have been able to succeed in academia unless I were a leftist. :\ Honestly I feel like even going to hang out with ISKCON for a few days would be a better introduction to Hinduism for the average person abroad with zero knowledge than a class called "Intersections of Gender and Caste in Hinduism" or something.

Very telling how Hinduism, and even Christianity is ripped apart in academia, yet when it comes to Islam, it is a religion of "tolerance, and beauty that respects women."

Honestly, though, it's because of how severely they react when their religion is criticized or even inspected. Apostates are given death, women who do not obey are given death, anyone who utters a word against their precious prophets is given, you guessed it! Death.

No religion is perfect, humans can be horrific creatures, and even Hinduism cannot escape that. But Islam has committed far more war crimes than any other religion.

It absolutely boils my blood to see traces of colonizers in our cities. One side of my family hails from Aurangabad, named aftre Aurangzeb, and you already know the atrocities he committed.

It's so fucking insidious to see how the youth have been told what to think. My own friend claimed to me, verbatim: "You cannot be neutral in the Israel-Palestine war. Either you support Palestine, or you support genocide."

Support Hamas? Support terrorism? The same terrorism that affects us? Has everyone forgotten 26/11?

It makes me so sad to think of the future we could have had. Sanskrit would be the most spoken language, instead of English. Gurukuls would exist, and India would still have all of its wealth.

You're right, even ISKCON is better than the propaganda they feed people about our religion.

[transcriptroopers]

I have a tangent, troopers. I am shot-gunnin’ it, hitting like ten different topics. I think I have a point, bear with me.

Something I have found increasingly important to emphasize when engaging with theory is the ability to delineate overlapping types of violence and to clearly define which is a more immediate threat to life.

I have two personal facts to illustrate my point.

First, I recently began using a cane. This has changed my life significantly. I now need more accommodations to perform the same tasks. Even in a hospital, I have to tell doctors to slow down so I can keep up. My cane upsets able-bodied people and makes them nervous around me. There’s no denying that in being a case user, I face oppression.

Yet, in every way, my circumstances are better than someone who uses a wheelchair. Because I’m not sitting down, everything is still at my height. I may be forced to walk in the grass if there’s no sidewalk, but a wheelchair user is screwed. I can still walk and get exercise and not worry about atrophy like if I used a wheelchair. I would be inconvenienced having to use the stairs during an emergency, whereas in a wheelchair your life may be in danger.

We are both types of disabled people who face oppression at the hands of an ableist society, but we still have different experiences, and have different - sometimes competing - accessibility needs. It is not “oppression olympics” to be able to identify when one type of disenfranchisement is a more severe and immediate threat to life; I am not betraying cane users to advocate for better accessibility for wheelchair users.

Next, I’m a veteran of the United States Army. I am also LGBT, and I am being vague about the specifics of that on purpose. There is an inordinate number of people who think this is a good thing – that I am both LGBT and a veteran. Everyone thinks it looks good for #Diversity for there to be #Representation. 

I understand where this is coming from, because I used to think this way. Being an oppressed group, LGBT people are hungry to see people like them being portrayed positively, and in the US, the military is almost universally revered. I have never been harassed for being a veteran IRL, always praised; in fact, being a veteran has often shielded me from harassment associated with being LGBT, using a cane, etc. But online, folks will very casually wish for your death in the most gruesome ways, accuse you of crimes you’ve never committed, and block you before you can explain that, actually, you purposely enlisted in your MOS in Air Defense (protection against incoming missiles) because you didn’t want to hurt anyone, and even before drone warfare the vast majority of soldiers will never see combat. And it hurts your feelings, because you’re Me, a sensitive LGBT who didn’t expect the people who I thought were my friends to want me violently killed, Just Like my oppressors did, right??

So, here’s how I got over all that and got to the root of the issue: It’s only online that people are free to unload, sometimes; they are frequently shadowbanned by social media. My material reality is that as a disabled veteran, even an LGBT one, I have innate privileges because I am a soldier first. I have free healthcare for the rest of my life, and if I need it, assistance with legal matters, education, and housing. I could get a 10 to 20% discount in almost any store or restaurant in the country. I could get a placard for my car and it would reduce my chances of being pulled over. I opted for the optional “Veteran” mark on my drivers license to endear any cop who pulls me over. There are like three different national holidays celebrating me where I can get free food. An angry person online who says “veterans kys” hurts my feelings, but doesn’t in any way make my life materially worse.

Meanwhile, I have very much been a victim of hate crimes for being LGBT, both online and IRL. Even in the PNW I was assaulted and encountered actual hate groups like Proud Boys. There are no hate groups against veterans. Even if veterans are high risk for homelessness and drug abuse, (just like for example, idk, LGBT people) it is very clear to me which group is more meaningfully affected by violence.

Like I said, when you’re a rather sensitive person, a stranger gruesomely wishing for your death is upsetting regardless of the reason. Obviously I would prefer that people don’t do this at all, just as I would prefer that there be no kind of oppression at all.

But there is, so they do. And because I have a Critical Thinking Brain, I was able to realize that there was a difference between an outburst from someone with the ability to act upon it and an outburst from someone with almost no ability to act upon it. A jailed prisoner heavily draped in chains yells “I’ll kill you!” A well-trained soldier pointing a gun at you says “I’ll kill you!” Which are you more afraid of? 

If you answer “both,” you are being willfully obtuse. You know the prisoner has next to no chance of carrying out their threat, but you know the soldier’s gun is loaded, and they have killed before. We are all capable of understanding that there are degrees of power and violence. I don’t begrudge any person who casually wishes for the deaths of soldiers, even though the soldier is themselves a victim of a kind of violence by the state. In fact, you can read all about the various abuses endured by soldiers on my blog, but the woes and miseries of soldiers are not (and should not be) of consequence to their victims.

Now that I’ve made you read two pages of blathering, guess what this post is really about? That’s right – Palestine. Fuck.

Western colonial nations are responsible for the ongoing genocide against the Palestinian people, and it is with our manufactured consent that the US and Great Britain continue to escalate the violence. Thus, it is more important than ever for us to be able to critically examine the way oppression affects us.

Israel is a settler-colonial state: a group of settlers who have violently expelled indigenous people from their land. This is documented fact; even early on in the occupation, 1948-esque, comparisons to American cowboys were being made, implicitly stationing their enemies as dirty savages on untamed land which was being claimed for use by a pure and righteous civilization. 

Unfortunately, even in modern times, US Americans still believe the above rationale for their own displacement of indigenous people. To do otherwise would be to admit that we ourselves do not belong on this land – land that we live and work on and sometimes have “owned” for generations. We choose to believe what matters is Now, and the other stuff is all in the past. 

Sadly, it’s true that many Indigenous American Peoples are no more. But numerous Indigenous American Tribes and Nations are still around, their customs have endured, their languages are alive, and they are still working their lands, as best as they can given the circumstances we’ve given them. However far back the atrocities were, Indigenous Americans deserve not only recompense, but leniency for behaviors that we on our high horses may find uncouth but otherwise don’t materially affect us or our privileges.

This is my opinion for other settler-colonial states as well, including those of Great Britain, Canada, Australia, etc. If settlers cannot feasibly “return home,” as will often be the case, then they must at least concede ownership of what was never theirs to take and cease reaping the benefits from their settler status. This would involve returning land and power to their original peoples, (likely not all or even most of it, especially as so much is now destroyed and heavily populated) and laws being rewritten so that they are not settler-centric. 

In that case, for me, the Palestinian Genocide has one starting and end point: this is a conflict between the colonized and the colonizer. It is essential to view all further analysis from this lens, lest we lose context and get confused when spin doctors tweak our media, or when our friends accuse us of supporting our own oppressors.

Why am I putting all of this on my soldier blog?

Because it is us, soldiers, who are complicit with this genocide. Even American soldiers right now are complicit with Palestinian Genocide because it’s with our weapons, aircraft, finances, and strategies the genocide is being perpetrated. I remember being enlisted ten years ago trying to argue for the rights of Palestinians to At Least not be war crimed on a regular basis, and was mocked, because I was arguing for rights for “inhumane terrorists,” and aren’t I a hypocrite because aren’t I LGBT, and don’t I know that Palestines hate LGBT people? It frightens me to see how much worse it has gotten in ten years, and how many otherwise peaceful people have bought into this pinkwashing: using LGBT rights as a cudgel to determine who “deserves” human rights and who deserves violence. Palestinians do not have to be perfect victims to deserve human rights, and I find the thought that a person in any context deserves to die to be abhorrent.

I feel obliged to state here that I am not Jewish, though I have been considering conversion for a few years. I first sought out a rabbi in 2020 and paused my journey due to the pandemic. I still do self-study but don’t consider myself capable of speaking on behalf of Judaism. 

I do feel capable of speaking on pinkwashing soldiers, and this is very simple: an LGBT soldier is still a soldier. Being a soldier overshadows all of our other identities, be they gender, sexuality, race, religion, wealth, or ability. This is drilled into us. People tell us to go away and die (if they feel safe to do so) because we are complicit in the overwhelming, overarching violence that is the state. We are no different than cops in this regard. Israeli soldiers, too, are soldiers before they are anything else. Women, LGBT, POC, Poor, Jewish. Often, the oppressor has themselves been oppressed. That's why it's so easy to convince people that their actions are just.

But here we see the same situation as before. The Palestinian, after eighty years of violent apartheid and genocide, bombed, starved, half-dead, says, “I’ll kill you!” The Israeli Soldier, with billions in US aid, who controls the Palestinian’s water, food, fuel, medicine, roads, air, and borders, calls the hospital and tells them, “We will bomb you in sixty seconds.” And then they do, and they want my sympathy because I too am a Soldier, and so I must understand that they have Lost, and it is So hard to lose people in war; so hard.

Of course they have my damn sympathy! I can’t help it; I have plenty of it to go around! Of course I’m opposed to religious persecution, to the killing of innocents, the destruction of culture! That is why I stand with Palestine in the first place! I hate violence, that’s why I joined a strictly defensive branch of the army, and don’t believe in the death penalty even for “really bad crimes" because I know how easily people can manipulate the public opinion against people who’ve committed “really bad crimes” for real this time I promise guys this time. And you don’t have to believe me, you can still tell me to kill myself and that I’m a murderer and I won’t begrudge you for that either.

We are currently seeing an unprecedented rise in antisemitism globally. Indeed, Israel only exists because of antisemitism in countless other nations across millenia. Even the US, Israel’s greatest ally, has deeply embedded antisemitic roots. Unless every other major country in the world immediately and aggressively begins to tackle their own antisemitism within their own borders, something akin to Israel will continue to exist, which in turn makes us responsible for the Palestinian Genocide. 

Until that is addressed, we’re left with the original fact: Israel as it exists is a settler-colonial state, built on stolen land amidst an on-going genocide, and because Israel’s military is conscripted, that makes even ordinary civilians complicit in the war crimes of their armed forces.

American civilians cannot allow this violence to continue. We must reject genocidal rhetoric and demand that we return indigenous land not only to Palestine, but all Indigenous Peoples everywhere. 

Lacking a punchy ending to this tangent, I’ll leave a list of links to various organizations that you can support in this time.

UNRWA United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Middle East. Currently on the ground in Gaza attempting to deliver humanitarian aid despite bombings.

Jewish Voices for Peace - This was one of the groups who marched on Capitol Hill declaring “Not in our name.” A civil rights’ group.

Palestine Children’s Relief Fund - They specialize in emergency medical care, training surgeons, and even sending children to the US for otherwise inaccessible treatment.

Decolonize Palestine - A basic resource to start with if you want to learn more about why this violence is inextricable from colonialism.

[slaaverin]

What was it that surprised you about Muse?

I thought Jimin was clearly saying Muse was about his passion for his art. I think it again had a lot to do with performing and not doing a lot of live performances and meeting Army, he more or less says this to Namjoon, and in his letter which is on display at the exhibition. I don’t think it’s as personal he says that too Joon as well. The exhibit intro also focuses on how it was about Jimin finding his artistic vision. He said to Joon that Who was a vehicle to stop and say, wait that’s not what I was feeling, but he was talking about his art. When he said about talking to his friends and they all felt similarly flat, that doesn’t mean in love necessarily, he said it was about passion or life, and as someone who has depression that happens. He also spoke about not always liking his work all of the time. That’s what the album is about to me. In my mind he started writing in 2022, he said he spoke to the members in vegas and they told him to write his feelings, that became Face. The songs he was working on with outside producers is Muse, so essentially it became a second album. All finished in June 2023. Face needed to come first and if you listen start to finish you can hear the story he is telling. As you said Letter being a hidden track is telling, that is a very personal song. Almost too personal.

Muse then starts with Rebirth which is a beautiful song, and almost a literal rebirth from Face, I’d say it’s the only autobiographical song on the album. This is why it leads. With the interlude after it, to structurally separate it from the rest. The circus theme from face continued here, he’s putting on a show, the Smereldo garden marching band , which they tell Loco is a vehicle to help people tell their hidden truths. Loco who Jimin said they picked bc he just got married so could convey the feeling needed. SGMB and the truth untold, a focus of the album, his exhibition being named the same thing. What truth is Jimin actually trying to tell us? What does he say he wants us to misunderstand? To me the only logical explanation is the opposite of what Who is about, if that’s about finding love, maybe Jimin has already found it. The billboard being probably key in this.

However to me, because Jimin said Muse isn’t personally linked, it really is just a good, fun album for Army. Face is deep and personal, Muse is light and relatable. Again in his letter Jimin says he wants to make music for Army. That’s Muse. I think face needed to happen for him, and he didn’t probably expect its success, something he also said in his letter.

Previous anon says about him being in the studio when talking with the producer but it’s not like he’s going to tell a room full of strangers about his personal life. He said it was like they read his diary but that can mean many things, including just being put on the spot having to explain something. He found a song that gave a very universal feeling, which he also says, everyone is alone..well that is a strong statement but not what he meant imo, because not everyone is physically alone, but actually as humans we are alone in the world, we live our own experience, but we seek connection with others. Love is a universal language. When the producers said Jimin couldn’t relate to the feelings of some of the songs, to me again he has no right to divulge any personal information about Jimin, especially not in his absence.

I know full well he cannot declare a love outright, if he said he knows love or has done could you imagine what would happen? but he did say rebirth is about having a crush on someone he fell in love with. This is what I mean about it being the only autobiographical song, one he knows the experience of but couldn’t openly say. One that continues the promise from Letter. The one ft a certain someone.

Oh I was simply surprised because Muse was so different from Face that it took me a bit off-guard at first lol

I agree with your train of thoughts anon. I arrived pretty much to the same conclusions.

Thanks for sharing your view 💜

[communistkenobi]

Now that Succession is over I’ve been reflecting more and more on the fandom that sprung up around it. When I made this post I had Succession in mind, but it was too large of a sidebar to get into, so now I’m making a separate post.

And before I get into anything, both in anticipation of being yelled at and so I don’t have to constantly inserts caveats into every paragraph: this is not a universal or comprehensive description of how people interact with Succession in a fandom setting online, but rather my experience with it on tumblr and the experience of watching my friends interact with it. Additionally, this diagnosis of a narrow slice of the Succession fandom is not a moral or intellectual damnation of anyone who ships characters or whatever. I am talking to myself publicly on my own blog and this post is a sequel to the post I linked at the top, and so the primary focus of this is going to be about the “methods problem” within fandom that I outlined in that original post. If anything, this is an invitation to reflect on your own experiences and extend/adapt/critique the arguments I’m about to make to your own contexts, not a condemnation of those experiences and contexts. If you feel the urge to say things like “you’re trying to censor me” or “let people have fun” I would rather you not do that because I’ve heard those things hundreds of times already and those complaints are deeply uninteresting. anyway

I think one of Succession’s strengths as a show is that it is a drama about a modern corporate empire that is shown entirely through the eyes of the individual Roy family members. There is a particular, deliberate clash between the intensely intimate drama of Shiv and Tom’s marriage, Kendall’s addiction issues and estrangement from his family, Roman’s sexual and romantic problems, Connor’s loneliness manifesting in him “buying a girlfriend,” and the fact that they are wealthy beyond comprehension. They are so far above material need that the only arena of conflict is their personal lives. This comes to a head in S4, when their father dies and their family drama becomes the primary battleground over who will take the throne. Yes, they are fighting over acquisition deals and legal issues surrounding their father’s company, this is the “material” component that has a direct influence on their wealth, but that is still secondary to their conflict as a family. Kendall and Roman deliberately attempt to sabotage the sale of Waystar, both because of their personal desire to “be the boss” and the constantly-cited desire to “do what our father wanted.” Their primary concerns are always either an attempt to appease their dead dad or their desire to replace him with themselves.

This is the most intensified form of bourgeois interiority in fiction - all material concerns are made invisible, shoved to the side to focus solely on individual emotions and relationships, because the Roys are part of the ruling class. Their material needs will never be part of their problems. The individual landscapes of their emotions, desires, and traumas are the only real site of conflict. The army of servants and underlings beneath them, the public that is only ever at the periphery, are part of the massive social, political and financial scaffolding that allows them the time and freedom to act out these hyper-intense psychodramas with their lovers, friends and family. The character-centric focus of the show is itself a commentary on their wealth - they don’t have to work, they don’t have to worry about money, they don’t even have to interact with public infrastructure, and so they are free to focus entirely on interpersonal turmoil and pleasure. This intense, indulgent look into their personal lives is predicated on their wealth, and highlights how ridiculous and out of touch they are. This is an integral part of how the deeply uncomfortable, second-hand-embarrassment tone of the show is maintained.

But this nuance doesn’t get translated into fandom - or is only translated haphazardly - which is likewise deeply character-centric. As a fan of the show for many years I have largely avoided the Succession “fandom” because of its intense focus on shipping and rooting for your favourite characters to win. This is how you end up with people deeply invested in Roman’s character, running cover and damage control for him as he becomes increasingly openly racist, misogynistic and fascistic as the show goes on. In particular, the way that misogyny in fandom intersects with this character-centric method of engagement is that a lot of apologetic discourse about Shiv is reactive, excusing or rationalising her behaviour to an online crowd who finds fault with her behaviour not because she’s wealthy but because she’s a woman. It’s how you end up watching people online defend the actions of a fictional billionaire girlboss, because the dominant mode of discourse in fandom is focused so heavily on the actions of individual characters that said actions become free-floating, divorced from their context. Shiv is not being defended on the ground of her wealth and power (or not always, lol), nor even really being defended from the fact that those things make her an objectively horrible person, but that popular fandom perception of her boils down to “man what a huge bitch.” It’s not that (necessarily) people want to log onto tumblr to apologise for liking a fictional billionaire - although again, that does happen - it’s that fandom misogyny is so individualistic that Shiv’s actions are always discussed at the lowest rung possible, commonly expressed as “she’s a bitch” or “she’s being unreasonable”, and so that is the discursive arena that discussion about this character remains in, never moving beyond the individual. It reminds me of the backlash against Skylar from Breaking Bad - it was impossible to talk about anything else about her character aside from explaining why she’s not the devil incarnate. Yes there are also unironic fans who love the fact that Shiv is a vaguely progressive rich white woman, those people absolutely exist, but even when you want to approach the show from outside of that uncritical angle, I think you oftentimes get painted into this narrow discursive corner anyway because of how stupid fandom discussion tend to be.

And yes it’s all fictional, it’s not real, and people “blorbofying” a Roy sibling or shipping Kendall and Stewy together are not remotely good indicators of their beliefs about the ruling class in real life. I am not making claims about anyone’s beliefs or political convictions because they enjoy a show about billionaires. I also enjoy the show. But the rhetoric of fandom is so intensely individualistic that “shipping” characters in a show like Succession is seen as a regular thing to do. The easiest way to tell if you’re in a “fandom” on tumblr is to see if people are writing ship fic or drawing shipping fanart. I enjoy Succession a lot and talk about it with friends, but I am not “in the Succession fandom.”

And at least with the people I follow who do engage in Succession “fandom,” there is an intense self-irony on display - people making fancam edits of Gerri, someone who is general counsel to a fictional version of Fox News, or AMVs of Stewy, a hot ruthless venture capitalist. It’s funny precisely because of the dissonance between the use of fandom aesthetic forms (ie fancams) and the subject being fandomised. Embedded into these behaviours is an ironic self-distance, a performance of fandom with a wink to the audience that you don’t actually believe in this, that this is a self-ironic indulgence, a way of articulating sympathy for these fictional characters while maintaining the air of being in-the-know, being a good person who gets what the show is “really” about. And I enjoy that! Those posts rule lol. If anything I am in the meta-fandom, I stay on the periphery with friends to enjoy posts about how stressful shareholder meetings are, to celebrate the tomshiv scorpionmarriage win, to know what the phrase tomstar gregco endgame means.

But that self-irony is only possible to express because of the fact that “doing fandom stuff” with Succession necessarily involves an intense and constant form of apologetics for your favourite character or relationship - it is this assumed, unstated default that this self-irony is engaging with. If you were just talking about the plot of the show or its themes, if you disavowed any desire to ship characters together, if you never got into arguments with people about which Roy sibling “deserves” to be CEO, you would hardly be doing “fandom,” or at least you would be doing it in a fundamentally different way, and crucially you wouldn’t need to be employing that self-ironic tone of “alright now we all know billionaires are bad. But isn’t Roman such a cute little baby? Don’t you just want to hug him?”

I remember a popular sentiment being expressed around when Succession first got popular online, saying that Succession pioneered new ways for people to talk about their favourite characters on the internet. “He’s my Disney Princess” “I want to put him in a Pringles can and shake him” “she is a bug I need to study under a microscope” and so on. And I think this is partially a result of 1) absurdist internet humour in general, 2) a memetic mirroring of the show’s brand of humour specifically, and 3) people’s general political instincts running up against fandom engagement, the desire to engage with Succession as a fandom-text without experiencing intense cognitive dissonance, producing ways of expressing love and enjoyment for characters that are fundamentally, irredeemably bad people, people who are direct reflections of and parallels to the ruling class of modern America. It doesn’t even give you the benefit of historical distance the way a medieval fantasy would, where it’s easier to “stan” a king because it’s taken for granted that everyone here doesn’t support hereditary monarchy. Succession is a direct, immediate commentary on contemporary American life in a way that is impossible to ignore, and so to engage with it on fandom grounds requires a certain kind of additional effort, a way of simultaneously performing your real-world beliefs while also letting loose. I know Succession is not the first show to be like this, nor is it the only thing that has impacted the way fandom operates online, but it has enjoyed a five-year popularity whose digital omnipresence has reached far beyond its immediate audience. Most people on twitter remotely engaged in fandom have seen a Kendall Roy fan edit, for example.

So, all this to say: even when it feels like a text is deliberately choosing a character-centric focus to comment on its themes and structures, I think what happens is that this character-centric lens becomes easily and instantly adopted by fandom, but the commentary gets left behind. Which is again what I meant in that original post I linked at the top - character-centric lenses are not inherently bad, or inferior, or lesser to other lenses, but that fandom only ever engages in a very narrow and particular type of character-centrism, a lens that is so adaptable that you can easily import shipping discourse and “x-character-did-nothing-wrong” style apologetics into a show like Succession. If you engage with Succession primarily as a vector to ship characters together, or to “pick your favourite character,” I think you are falling into this fandom mode. Which I’m not saying is inherently bad, I have also done this with Succession by calling myself a romangirl or whatever, I’m just trying to articulate the whiplash I sometimes get when watching prestige drama television about billionaires being murderers and sex pests and fascists and then going online and seeing hundreds of people expressing a desire to wrap Roman Roy in a little blanket. A lot of people are engaging with the show’s themes and also doing this “fandom” thing with it, so you don’t have to choose one or the other, nor am I saying that there are necessarily “low” and “high” classes of artistic interpretation that people permanently slot themselves into, but I do think these modes of engagement are at some level mutually exclusive, because they require the adoption of fundamentally different interpretive lenses when approaching a text

[danmeiconfession]

(Just a thought about the fandon's relationship with grooming, idk if it accounts for Tw but better safe than sorry)

Sometimes, it amazes me the amount of grooming that is portraited in Svsss fanfics, or MXTX in general. I will focus more on svss as is the one I've been reading fanfics the most recently.

Sometimes, is as if the writers themselves do not acknowledge it as grooming, or not even realize. Like, do they know that grooming is not limited to SA? You guys know that Grooming is not limited to SA or by age right? Especially in a Murim/Cultivation Setting where people can be like, really really old, as in thousands of years old.

I saw a lot of fics where there's roles reversal, time travel, reincarnation. Bingge goes to another universe to raise his "own shizun". Shen Yuan raising his (his- as in he was there before ascending as Peak Lord and choose it himself) disciples as a little "army" to survive the future. Shen Yuan in a lot of Kid Fic's being exploited by the Peak Lord's. Yue Qingyuan situationship with "A-Yuan" or Qingqiu do resemble grooming in a lot (at least from what I was able to read.)

Like, I know the first thing that comes to mind when thinking of is usually Csa but grooming englobes any relationship in which an Older Person (Older, not adult) creates a form of emotion connection with a YOUNGER person (Might be an adult, a Child, a Teenager, as long as is younger and - in almost every case- have a great gap in maturity) in order to exploit, manipulate, and abuse them.

I'm not complaining! Really! Is just that sometimes it is not tagged as it should even thought is pretty obvious what is happening. Or maybe not as obvious as I see.

I Just think that it's really interesting (?) of how subtle and obvious it is portraited at to the point I don't even know if the author is aware that it's grooming. Especially since it's a pretty constant topic in Svsss, as how SY views SJ, QJL whole existence, LBG whole experience with SQQ (may it be SY or SJ depending how you interpret it), Su Xiyan and Gongyi Xiao relationship with the Creep Palace Master, The unfounded allegations of SJ behavior against NYY, and a few more if you look into Ancient China Society and then back at the Sects-

It's the kind of subtleness that you don't really notice until a specific part of the characthers dynamics pokes you the wrong way. One that you can feel icked about right away not being really sure what's bothering you about those specific chatacthers.

This is a ramble that doesn't really lead anywhere, just a Pattern that I've noticed along with a few friends and felt like sharing

(I apologize if my English is bad or there's any bad structured phrases. English is not my first lenguage and trying to ramble about a 2:43 AM thought doesn't make it any easier—)

.

[beneaththeskybeyondthestars]

The ✨Metaphysical Magic✨ of BTS 💜 방탄소년단

If you're like me and deeply inspired by BTS, then you know there's something truly mystical about their music and presence that goes beyond just being fans. Let’s dive a little into the rabbit hole and into this enchanting world together!

Symbols and Archetypes

First off, let’s talk about the incredible symbolism in BTS’s work. Their "Love Yourself" series is a perfect example. It's all about self-discovery, acceptance, and love – universal themes that we all relate to. These themes mirror the archetypal journeys we often explore in tarot, making their messages resonate deeply with us. Every lyric and visual tells a story that we can connect with, almost like looking at a tarot card and finding a piece of our own story within it.

Astrological Connections

The BTS members have shared their astrological signs with us, adding a whole new cosmic layer to their personalities. RM’s intellectual Virgo energy, Suga’s dreamy Pisces vibes, Jimin’s charming Libra balance, Jhope's Aquarian genius, Jin's Sagittarius wisdom, V's Capricorn earthiness, and Jungkook's Virgo perfectionism – it’s like each member brings a unique star quality that we can relate to on a spiritual level. Knowing their signs helps us connect with them in a more personal and mystical way, almost like they’re celestial guides on our journey. As a band that was born (debuted) on June 13th, BTS are collectively a Gemini, which explains their versatility, charm, humor, multi-hyphenated talent, and how they keep us laughing, delightfully guessing and always surprised with what they will do next, both independently and as a unit. Like the sign, they are energetic, impulsive, and often change their appearance, as well as being great communicators who share their feelings with us, making it easier for us to understand them. Gemini is also considered the teenager of the zodiac, and for us ARMY, they will truly be Young Forever!

Numerology and Destiny

Let's not forget numerology! The number seven is so important for BTS – it represents the seven members and is seen as a symbol of completeness and perfection in many spiritual traditions. Fans (including me!) love finding patterns in release dates, album titles, and significant events. It’s like following a cosmic breadcrumb trail that leads to deeper meanings and connections, making us feel like we’re part of a grand, destined plan.

Energy and Vibration

Have you ever felt the energy at a BTS concert? It’s pure magic! Their music isn’t just something you listen to; it’s something you feel. According to metaphysical principles, everything vibrates at a certain frequency. BTS’s songs, filled with messages of love, hope, and resilience, vibrate at a high frequency that resonates with our hearts. This energy can uplift and heal, creating a powerful experience for all of us.

Transformation and Healing

One of the most beautiful aspects of BTS’s influence is their ability to transform and heal. So many of us have found comfort and strength in their music during tough times. Although I first became aware of BTS in 2019 when I heard the song and saw the video for "Boy With Luv", it was 2020 when I became a true ARMY and without question, they helped me make it through that difficult period. It’s like having a cosmic friend who understands and supports you through their songs. This aligns perfectly with the metaphysical view of music as a form of therapy, reaching into our souls to provide healing and growth.

Collective Consciousness and Synchronicity

Lastly, let’s talk about the amazing BTS ARMY. We’re a perfect example of collective consciousness. Our synchronized activities, from streaming projects to charitable acts, show how connected we are. This unity creates a powerful force that enhances our individual and collective experiences, making us feel like we’re part of something much bigger.

So it is easy to see that the metaphysical aspects of BTS are real and true. Their music and presence go beyond entertainment; they touch our souls and connect us on a spiritual level. Whether through symbolism, astrology, numerology, or the energy they emit, BTS has created a legacy that transcends the physical world. It’s a journey of transformation, healing, and growth that we all share.

Thanks for joining me on this mystical exploration. Stay tuned for more cosmic insight and adventures and Beneath the Sky, Beyond the Stars Tarot. Keep shining and embracing the magic around you! Keep Loving Yourself and Speaking Yourself!

With love and light, I Purple You! 보라해

💜 Gabby 🌌💫

[mac-cheez]

My Guide To Surviving The Waynes

This is inspired by an earlier post of mine and will be in an epistolary/Dracula style in the view of said uni student. I hope y'all like it!

Thxs @arrowheadedbitch for proofread and confidence.

Pt. 2 Pt. 3

--------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

I'm not a diary person really. I was always told it helps you relax or work through your feelings, but it never seemed worth it...... well not till now. Not till a "normal" morning for me was eating cereal while shouting goes through the house and under threat of death if I finish the milk. This is what's currently happening as I write this on my laptop trying not to spill said cereal. As I listened to another argument between Tim and Damian about something inconsequential (something about galleries robbing banks?), I finally caved and started writing. I figure this could be useful for reference or advice or even study (these bitches are weird as hell). Maybe I should start with how I got here?

I grew up down South. The bible belt was a weird place, but I survived I guess. My parents are loving and as understanding as they can be with their own experiences and opinions. My father is Army so we were lucky to not be on wheels at all times. My only major move was my sophomore year of high school. I decided to apply for the exchange program and was picked due to my fluency in French. I was sent to Paris and, loved it so much I decided to stay. I was able to stay till graduation and still keep in touch with my friends. I know, picture perfect right?

After graduation, I applied to many different Universities and programs hoping for a good criminal justice program to learn in. Forensics was the main interest I was looking for. It just so happened that Gotham University's Forensics and Criminal Justice Facilities just got updated by the Wayne Foundation (probably to deal with the crime problem). I saw that it met all of my criteria and applied not thinking about it. A couple of my picks fell through, but most came back as acceptances. I was about to accept one of my local Universities when I got the Gotham U acceptance letter. It said the usual spiel of "we'd love to have you, blah, blah, blah", I was about to throw it in the pile when I saw one specific detail, "We boast a 95% employment rate of our Science-based graduates."

After some research, I found out that it was true. Most GU grads get hired straight out of school if they have a scientific degree. That paired with the brand new facilities made me reconsider. I talked with my parents, and they agreed that it was likely the best option, but they were concerned about me living in the dorms or an apartment in a place like Gotham. I was about to suggest living in a city nearby and just commuting when my dad asked us to wait for a minute. He made some calls while I talked with my mom about other things concerning the move. When he came back he said he had a friend from work who I could stay with. He told me he had a couple kids my age and plenty of room. It wasn't till I was in the limo with a very nice elderly man on my way to said friend's house that I realized he meant Bruce Fucking Wayne. Once he parked (his name is Alfred btw) I got my luggage out and kinda just stared. He asked to take my bags but I just said no thank you. He hummed and led me to the door. It was quiet when he opened the door which I thought would be normal, but the worry on his face told me otherwise.

Suddenly from the hall, two boys ran by one yelling "MERCY" while the other smaller boy chased him with a sword and........ pink hair? I was concerned, but Alfred seemed more at ease so I tried not to think about it too much. Behind them, a guy came from the same hallway snickering at his phone.

"Master Duke, would you mind filling me in on the situation at hand?" Alfred asked him.

"Oh yeah Alfred, it was hilarious," 'Duke' said laughing, "so Tim put pink dye in the shampoo for Dick and then-," he stopped looking at me. "Uhhhhhhhh, Who's the girl?" He asked.

"A guest of Master Bruce," said Alfred.

"Oh! Oh. Uh, You're not......... ya know..... a guest," he asked.

"No god no I'm not that broke yet," I explained hoping the humor would land.

It seemed to because he immediately brightened and started introducing himself as Duke Thomas, one of Mr. Waynes Wards. I introduced myself and why I was there. It seemed like he was going to ask something when there was a crash and he said he should "make sure no one gets stabbed again".

"Well that was eventful," I said looking towards the hall he exited through.

"I'm sure you'll get used to it," said Afred, worrying me a little. This wasn't an occasional thing?

He started leading me-;skjfbsgdpibzebERROR++vbvnjkm;n;mxcvz;'anrvbA:----

[sullustangin]

Spoilers Ahoy: Consular Thoughts

I’m doing a quickie consular story  re-playthrough, and ... I have thoughts, mainly about the companions.

I do like the overall story arc until Chapter 3 when everyone except the Selkath thinks going to Belsavis to make friends is a great idea.  Awakening an imprisoned army is a terrible idea.  This is sort of how I feel about my OC confronting Malgus alone in prison recently: I don’t have a choice not to be stupid, and I HATE that.  LS is “Gonna get new friends for the Republic” and DS is more like “Gonna get new friends to serve me.”  THESE GUYS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.  It’s a lot of risk and no guarantee of reward. I’d mark this as ‘a jump the shark’ moment. 

The Consular also has the inverse problem of the Bounty Hunter:  BH gets all the lighter companions first (Mako most of all) and then gets DS only at the end (death to Skadge).  Meanwhile, the consular gets a Hunt All The Things Uncle Lizard, Guy Who Literally Lives in the Basement with his Holo Girlfriend, and a politically inclined Murder!Noodle. Consular only gets LS Felix and LS Nadia as the last two companions, which results in some problems -- they’re also the romance options, which gives them the least amount of development in the vanilla game. 

To be fair, I think Felix Iresso is one of the least problematic guys in the SWTOR universe.  He’s so kriffin’ sweet.  He’s perfect for a young Jedi.  I totally think there was an attempt at a Jace/Satele parallel here. It’s not toxic and it’s well-paced... minus the fact that he doesn’t show up until Hoth.  Yes, I know what’s in his head...but he’s still a good person before and after the experience in Vanilla.  (I know how he was done dirty in his return -- poor sweet man.) 

For perspective, Hoth is when the smuggler gets their last companion, Guss Tuno.  Corso (f!smug romance option) was acquired in Chapter 1, and Risha (m!smug romance option 1) was acquired at Chapter 1′s end.  Akaavi was acquired in Chapter 2 after Balmorra (option 2).  Even then, Akaavi’s relationship feels better paced just by having her a whole planet early.  I know @swtorpadawan​ and others have commented on how fast the Nadia Grell romance is.  Pair that with her relative youth -- even with the consular being super young themselves, it still feels ‘yikes’, especially in the context you romance her.

I love and hate Qyzen.  He’s a great first companion, part of a cultural immersion experience for a young Jedi.  His hunting for the Scorekeeper works in contrast to the peace that the consular seeks to establish, and yet it does provide a path to that -- sometimes, you do have to fight for the 'greater good’ end result; compliance works for the enemy.   However, on a personal level, I have my political loyalties to Wookiees, and I would cheer for Bowdaar to kick his ass.

I do like Zenith, and not just because he’s voiced by Troy Baker.   There’s a very gritty, realist element to Zenith. After the hero moves on from a planet, what happens to it?  Great, Balmorra is liberated, but it doesn’t fix everything going on there. Should there be ‘necessary evils’ done in the name of politics and managing power? All of the war, death, and other baggage can screw a person up; I read Zenith as walking PTSD, having lived in a war zone all of his life (he was born 3 years after Jace and Satele reported the fall of Korriban, and Balmorra has been a mess since). Zenith is a great foil to a consular, regardless of alignment.  

...I have a really hard time justifying Tharan’s recruitment so early minus the fact he does fit on Nar Shaddaa better than anyone else.  I know the developers tried to keep all of the Pub and Imp players running on the same sets of planets in each chapter...but if there was ever an exception to be made, it should have been for the consular, because I feel like Tharan is taking up an important space that he really shouldn’t. He’s not actively evil, but he’s not a pleasant or honest person. Super skeevy vibes once Nadia joins the crew too.   I feel like a lot of time is spent on Tharan with not a lot of growth or character development to show for it.  I think I feel that way because there’s this weird ‘affair’ the consular is propositioned with early on -- it felt like filler from the start.  It’s not as well done as the Pierce one-night stand.  Some of his comp convos seem tacked on or “oh no we have to make more content for this guy.” 

Nadia’s acquisition as a companion hinges on certain late stage events, but I feel as if the romance would have felt ‘better’ if her father had let her go to be a padawan as soon as she manifested on Quesh.   Then, she could have grown up a little more before the later events and would have been on more equal footing and more familiar terms with the consular, romance or not. 

In sum, I think the consular’s personal story with the crew has great elements, but I feel like they got put together in the wrong order.  To me, companion order would be:  Qyzen, Felix (set him on Tatooine, the opposite temperature cesspit in the galaxy), Zenith, Nadia (on Quesh), and then... Tharan on Hoth because someone unloaded him there? or Belsavis for crimes related to unethical experiments?  Again, Tharan’s convos seem overstretched; the Vandrayk Generator could have really been done in two or three convos rather than the big thing it was in Chapters 2 and 3. 

[incorrect-jojolands-quotes]

Mun, give me your shot on Usagi Headcannons :crying & fire emoji: the world needs it

Of course! Here's what I got so far in terms of backstory and tidbits about him too:

Usagi's parents are Robert Alohaoe and Donna Therese Alohaoe (née Nakashima). Both are Japanese-Hawaiian descent and Usagi is their only child. Usagi had a twin sister that didn't make it to term but neither of his parents told Usagi her name or that she existed, not wanting their son to feel guilty or sad about the matter in any way.

Robert was a construction worker who was also the local construction union's president. Donna works as a receptionist for a retail tax office in Downtown Honolulu. After Robert's death, Donna quit her job due to grief and now stays at home. She's able to manage the payout for Robert's death so she and Usagi could live comfortably and more and is rather frugal too.

Growing up, the Alohaoes were a close, loving family. They were actually involved in a local church in Honolulu and Usagi's early years were him being involved in things like the children's choir and plays done in celebration of Christmas and Easter. The church itself was a nondenominational Christian church that the Alohaoes met through and got married in.

Both parents wanted Usagi to have some exposure to the arts but lacked the resources to give him professional classes or have him try out auditions for agencies, so Usagi's time in the performing arts involved him taking free community classes or attending volunteer-run events. It's there that he learned how to dance, sing, and act.

Usagi was a rather popular kid with many friends from church, despite his father worrying that being a theater/dance kid would mean kids were going to bully him. His rise to fame among the church kids was when he showed that he could do the splits during a free ballet class. He was also, at the time, strong enough to lift the girls trying to pretend to be ballerinas.

Robert's death threw more than just a wrench into things. Despite the church doing what they can to help and comfort, both Donna and Usagi lost their faith and stopped attending services like before. Usagi briefly stopped doing theater stuff and stopped seeing his friends at church. He became a loner in school that people thought was weird. He often brushes off his father's death as a means of coping with it. But, secretly, he misses his dad a lot.

Usagi himself isn't religious anymore as he started getting involved in scientific research and not agreeing with sentiments that various religions have towards marginalized groups (women, lgbtqia+, indigenous, etc.). But, when he misses his dad or really needs divine intervention, he will say a little prayer and hope it gets answered.

To satisfy his itch for performing later in life, he turned to learning Kpop choreography and making Kpop content. He has a secret social media account where he dresses up with his face and body covered and films himself doing dance covers. He would also attend Random Kpop Dance Plays anonymous as well to talk to other stans. Everyone knows him as his dance persona but no one really knew who he is under the all-black fits and surgical masks he wears.

He's massive in the forums related to BTS. Online, ARMYs knew him as an i-lovely with wacky theories about the BTS universe and his love for Suga. His biaswrecker is Jimin and he eventually bonds with Charming Man over BTS as the two start to become more friendly with each other. Usagi also runs an anonymous stan twitter account to help him keep up with Kpop news and is really involved in voting during awards season.

Since his father's death, Donna has been way more overprotective than before. Usagi himself was a sheltered kid and sometimes feels suffocated by her actions. He does understand that he is arguably the only physical reminder of Robert and her intentions are well-meaning, but it has caused him to rebel secretly. It's part of why he accepted work from Meryl Mei and experimented with drugs. He does it behind her back because he doesn't want to disappoint his mom in the end.

Usagi wishes to be a researcher of sorts after high school, but he's not sure what field to go into. He's considered being an ornithologist because he loves birds but also a pharmaceutical scientist, hydrologists, research physiologist, and, when he was younger, he thought about being a marine biologist. His passion in being a researcher led him to learn a lot of stuff online and that's why he has so much information.

His experimentation with drugs came from his initial desire to be a pharmaceutical scientist and curiosity on how chemicals can affect a body's function. He also wanted to see which drugs would enhance his academic performance the most, so he extensively researches on the drugs and how to safely use them before actually trying it on himself. It's also where he gets his extensive medical knowledge.

Donna used to be someone who wanted to make sure Usagi has a home cook meal and the family used to bond over cooking. However, since Robert's passing, Donna stopped cooking out of grief and Usagi can't bring himself to cook for similar reasons. He's mostly eaten takeout fast-food or quick meals like instant ramen since then. Donna is trying to get back into cooking meals again for Usagi's health but it's still a struggle.

Usagi doesn't know much about his dad's past but is interested in Robert's dadlore; Donna herself only knew so much. The bits and pieces of the lore Usagi knows is that Robert used to be close friends in high school with some guy name Dean. The two separated after a terrible fight but reconnected months before Robert passed away. Usagi knows it was this friend who helped his family receive the insurance payout but he doesn't know Dean's full name.

Usagi only knew Dean by the nickname Robert supposedly gave to him and the two had nicknames for each other; Robert was called "Fripp" and Dean was called "Belew". However, Usagi misheard these names and thought the nicknames were Pink and Blue.

Usagi vowed to be like Dean, someone who goes out of their way for others, and hopes to find his own Pink that he could help the way Dean did. What a coincidence that that Pink ended up being Dean's own child: Dragona.

That's all so far. I hope you enjoy it. :3