#i feel like im constantly walking on eggshells and like no one wants to fucking talk to me

[ableedingpromise]

God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????

[billsbabydoll]

“𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒻𝒾𝓍𝒶𝒷𝓁ℯ, 𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀 𝓉𝒽𝓇ℴ𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓌ℴ𝓇𝓁𝒹.”

contains:HARSH ANGST+SMUT<3

summary:finally getting sick of bills toxicity and instability, i packed up all of my belongings and planned to “leave him” or as i stupidly told myself, only to find myself easily falling back into his same hypnotizing trap.

WARNINGS:abusive relationship, fighting, arguing, manipulation (I DO NOT CONDONE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS in this story, this story is ONLY for entertainment purposes!!!), very narcissistic and misogynistic bill, hard-dom!bill, dumb-sub!reader, p in v (against the wall), degrading, pet-names, LIGHT choking, heavy breeding kink.

notes:as someone who has experienced theses types of situations firsthand, if you ever do find yourself in these kinds of circumstances please take the initial steps to get yourself out that relationship immediately, youll be fine i promise love ya!

HEAVY THEMES AHEAD!

“yeah go fucking cry about it you sensitive bitch, get the fuck outta’ my face!”bill loudly shouted at me from the living room as i ran and locked myself into our shared bedroom, tears streaming profusely down my cheeks, as i tumbled onto the bed and proceeded to curl myself up into a small pathetic ball.

im tired of living like this, being so isolated, feeling so trapped, being so mentally and physically drained, having to constantly walk around eggshells around him.

me and bills relationship was a perfect fairytale in the beginning, but quickly came burning down in flames and burnt down to pure ashes at his rage.his anger completely undoing every single precious thing he ever once said to me.

every “i love you.” or “i cant wait to start a life with you.” was once a simple loving string of words now being dangled high above my head as a reminder of his broken promises.

i still cling onto that small glimmer of hope that he could change some-day, that he could love me again, or that he could simply hold me without hurting me.

i lay in my own pity for a long grueling hour before i decide to slowly unravel myself from my position, gently getting up from the bed, wiping the tears from my eyes telling myself,

“i need to leave,

right now.”

i kick into full panic mode and immediately start changing into a dark colored tracksuit and a comfortable pair of sneakers, then i rummage through our closet grabbing random handfuls of my belongings stuffing my suitcase to the brim.

i quietly creak the bedroom door open and make my way through the dark hallway, my luggage in one hand as i try to rush towards the front door.

“going somewhere babe?”he eerily questioned, his evil presence immediately sending cold chills down my spine.

“i-i-uhm..”i mumbled trying to find some kind of explanation but it was if something was struck in my throat, i looked like a child who just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

“im leaving!”i managed to spit out, slowly turning to face him.

“oh your leaving?”he responded in a cartoonish voice mocking my own, chuckling manically at my response.

he crosses his arms over his chest as he cockily looks me up and down, he then quickly steps forward grabbing me by my chin with his right hand, yanking a fistful of my hair with his left.

“cant you see THIS is the life i promised you honey?you know no-ones ever gonna buy you all those pretty dresses you like wearing f’me, provide for you like i do, or keep a GODDAMN roof over your head like i do!”

what he was saying was true, without him i wouldnt have a single penny to my name.he took care of every expense, he even had me on a monthly allowance but he didnt do anything of it out of the goodness of his heart he rather used it to his advantage knowing hed always win.

“i know i know but, i-im tired of you being like this bill, im sick of it!i swear ill give it all back if thats what you really want!”i nervously murmured, his grip on my chin and hair tightening.

“your such an ungrateful brat, you dont even deserve to be breathing the same air as me, i shouldve just throw you out months ago like the trashy bitch you are.”

he yelled into my face before slamming me against the wall letting go of some of his grip on me as he pulled down his pants and boxers along with my sweatpants and panties.

“you wanna be treated like a worthless whore ill fucking treat you like one then.“

he wrapped one of his arms strongly around my neck keeping me in place, as he teased his cock in between my slicks folds, causing me to softly whimper.

“aww…look at you poor baby, you just wanted some attention huh, want me to fuck you isnt that right?”he purred squeezing my neck firmly in his arm, sliding his length harshly inside my walls.

though i hated to admit it, it truly turned me on how possessive and upset he got when i tried leaving it showed me he still sort-of cared.the fact he still had enough respect to still fuck me was enough to have me eating right out of his palm, anytime he showed me the slightest bit of affection it casted his spell over me all over again.

he continued thrusting his full length inside my cunt, beginning to aggressively pound away, my head banging against the cold wall.

“ugh-i shouldnt even be mmhtouching you right now ungrateful bitch!”he shouted, his free hand slapping my ass sure enough to leave hand prints the next morning.

“f-fuck fuck, im ughh-yours baby!”i moaned out, tears beginning to spill from my eyes, his tip kissing my cervix perfectly.

“das ist r-richtig, mhm!du gehst verdammt noch mal nirgendwo hin(thats right, your not going fucking anywhere),

gonna fill you all up, hopefully y-you get pregnant that way your ugh-stuck with me!”

the sound of our moans combined with the banging on the wall echoed throughout the house, the faint tv not even being enough to cover up his disgusting insults and my foul cries.

“b-bill ugh please i c-cant!”

“take my f-fucking cock mhmy little cum slut!”

his hips are bucking into mine at an animalistic pace as he urgently chases his release, my walls deliciously clenching around his girth, sending him immediately over the edge.

“scheibe scheibe scheibe(shit shit shit!)”he yelled out suddenly fucking his cock deeper inside my sweet walls, ropes of his seed oozing deep inside my pussy.

“ich w-werde ganz in dir abspritzen du mmh-dumme s-schlampe, ich werde dich mit meinem verdammten baby schwängern (im gonna cum all inside you, stupid slut, im gonna get you pregnant with my baby!)”he adds breeding his cum inside me with a few final thrusts, pulling his length out of me with a loud pop.

bill then releases me from his arm allowing me to slam down onto the floor, pulling his pants up smugly as he knelt down to my level.

“next time im beating the fuck outta’ this was me playing nice, understood? now go make me some dinner before you piss me off again.”

i nod my head instantly at his demands, rubbing the side of my cheek that hit the ground.

“such a good little girl, i love you.” he praised grinning widely down at me before getting back up and walking away from me.

“i love you too.”

and the cycle continues.

THE END

[confessions-official]

for so many years for SO MANY FUCKING YEARS i have put up with and dealt with him having bad days. him getting into depressive slumps. learning to cope with his chronic pain. trying to enforce boundaries on mysekf becayse he can never say what makes him uncomfortable in the moment. i havent just walked on eggshells, ive walked on broken glass my wholr life. catering everything i do to upset you as little as possible and give you a happy life. but the second, the SECOND i get into my own slump he just outs his hands up!! starts acting like im a horrible person for it and hes tired of me all the time and its all my fault because i cant just leave him alone sometimes. i always come crawling back to his love and affection no matter how many times mu oen head screams at me that this isnt worth it. its not like i have a choice. i couldve gotten a job forever ago. just, like an idiot, i decided to wait until you got one and now youre finally abiut ti get one and now im doing bad and i have no support. none. you cry and throw up and have a mental breakdown for daring to ask me for support and itll judt be madr so so so much worse if i tell you i cwnt handkr it because then you feel GUILTY iver mr and i knowni shouldnt care but if i dont care im gonna get told off for not rrspecting his feelings i dont know what to do snymore infeel like all ivr done has never been enough despite him calling me his angel and saying i do so much all the time. it feels like im only loved if i can perform. i feel like his wife in every worst possible way. ive been high constantly around him. i feel like thats part of the issue but he'll feel bad if i dont wanna smoke. i miss my family. they were so much worse but at least i was only communicating with him over text and i coukd still lie to myself and act like we were destined to be tigether and not just two horribly screwed up and destructive people that happenrd to find each other. you worry that the reason you dont have any friends is all your fsult, well yeah, it is!!! same as it is mine!!!!! you never put you4self ou5 there i have to PUT YO7 OU5 THERE IM SO TIRED OF BEING YOUR F7CKING MOTHER AND THEN HAVING YOUUUUUU ACT LIKE HER WHEN I DONT PERFORM UP TO SNUFF. IM FUCKING SORRY!!!! IM SORRY, OKAY!!!!!!! IM WHOLE IDENTITY IS BUUKT ARIUND DOING THINGS FOR YOU FOR OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT ANYMOTR. AND ITS MY IWN FSULT. I DONT HAVE ANYONE ELSE AND ITS MY OEN FSULT I WISH I COULD TELL HIM NO

 

[wifkin]

im so frustrated with my family drama right now and im SO TIRED of being the center of it. i left my moms house to live with my grandparents like almost three months ago because i was so tired of walking on eggshells to avoid being berated or kicked out or having something thrown at me or whatever.

yesterday my aunt called and told us that shes cutting my mom off entirely and its sad to hear and im sorry that it had to happen but now im getting so much pressure to go see her today, because she "misses me so much and is so upset" and theyre telling me to be nice to her and asking me about it every ten fucking minutes.

i dont want to go... i guess im going to because i do feel a little bad for her but its HER fault! its not my responsibility to comfort her and i dont understand why i am expected to. i dont want to make her feel better or comfort her or SEE HER right now i want her to sit and wallow and realize what the fuck she is doing wrong and that im not the delusional one and shes hurting everyone else too.

i am still constantly having like.,.. i dont want to say flashbacks bc its not like that but.. i guess daydream fights. while i was showering earlier i couldnt stop playing the conversation we are going to have in my head. all the ways she could twist it to be my fault and all her favorite points to dig into me. it just wouldnt turn off and i wound up crying again.

i just miss my mommy. i feel like i never even had her in the first place. i cnt ever even really remember the last time i truly wanted to hug her. i hate the way i can feel every single one of her bones and how frail she feels against me. its like hugging a coworker

[dumbbitchfrommars]

I’m annoyed so I’m going o rant and go to bed so it’s done and can be left with today. I’m annoyed and feeling unrecognised and under appreciated.

Perhaps is this why her sister has distanced herself? Is this the toxicity that I knew existed but hoped wouldn’t come to reveal itself to me?

I don’t like her family because they’re white and superficial and so so boring. I can’t even pretend to engage or be interested in things that mean nothing to me… it could be as simple as me being me and them being family. It’s completely fair and understandable and expected. Once an outsider, always an outsider.

One good thing I can say is I love Istanbul. I would happily move here one day. It is beautiful and charming and interesting and cool, and somehow I feel safe amongst its chaos. It reminds me of Sri Lanka but also of Melbourne, and Europe mixed together.

Anyway, I feel overlooked. Every time I’ve made a suggestion that was overlooked, that plan backfired. We end up following my original plan, that I get put down for. What’s the point of me saying anything in the first place if you won’t listen?

Furthermore, the best experiences had on this trip thus far have been organised by ME. I booked the flights, I booked the tour that you so happily shared with your cousin (despite implying it was boring and not your cup of tea…), I found the gorgeous beach we spent the day at. YOU made us waste money on entry to a lake we didn’t even spend any time at. YOU made us waste time and energy on a shitty Airbnb for your insisted “space for the wedding” and now o have anxiety in a dodgy room. YOU made us walk in the heat for ages only to get a taxi like I’d originally suggested… when you know I have an injured shoulder. God, you can be a selfish person sometimes. YOU walk around sticking out like a sore thumb, too polite and white and attracting scams like bugs.

I love you but I know you can be a dark sided person. You’re lazy and refuse to compromise on my needs and wants for this trip. This trip that I paid all my savings and the same amount of investment that you did, and therefore deserve the same amount of control of what we do. Eh are we wasting money on Airbnbs when I explicitly said I wanted yo MEET PEOPLE AND MAKE FRIENDS. ? How many people have I met? None. Besides your exhaustingly caucasian family. No, but I’m sure they’re actually really very nice. Nice like your sister. Or your mum.

You can’t replace a plug you took out? You can copy past a code that I now have to write out entirely from memory? You can’t take an extra second to make my life more convenient, can you? So fucking lazy. And you insist on paying for everything only to tell me the amount before conversion, giving me a million extra things to do at the end of the day. Cant you simply do it yourself? Or constantly demanding my attention WHEN IM TRYING TO DO SOMETHING ALREADY. cant you fucking wait for one second while I get my shit done. I can’t even THINK FOR A MOMENT WITHOUT YOU ASKING ME TO DO SOMETHING. figure it out on your own! Jesus fucking Christ! I need a break from her. Stop leading me on goose chases and making me look like a fucking idiot. We look like a couple of idiots when your in the lead.

I am evil for saying these things but it must be done or I won’t stop coming back to the thoughts. I am angry and upset and frustrated and sick of being ignored overlooked disrespected and dismissed. If it weren’t for me this entire trip would be in shambles. Genuine fucking shambles. I have all the ACTUAL addresses. I have all the flight times. I organised everything for you as a favour to you. And you can’t as little as make a fake id for me to use when you literally made a promise to do so?

I despise someone who doesn’t live up to their words. I’m constantly apologising and stepping on eggshells to make you happy and you can’t even find the tiniest effort to meet my expectations. The disrespect is strong. I’m very disgusted by it. I know my worth and it is not this. I won’t be letting your laziness affect this trip negatively anymore. I am taking control and I don’t care if it bothers you because you are not responsible enough to do it yourself.

I will listen to music when I want to. My music. I will read when I want to. I will appreciate men when I want to. Privately. Unjudged. I will walk as far as I like. I will prioritise my health because that matters to me. I will meet new people and travel independently because that is what I wanted in the first place. I will stay silent when I want to be silent. I won’t engage in superficiality for social niceties because that just ain’t me. I am deep and complex and interesting and I won’t water myself down for you or for anyone for that matter. Don’t think this trip is any exception. I invested in this trip for ME. so I come first. ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t care if you’re bored of me!!! I will entertain myself! I don’t have to be here if you don’t want me to be! Leave me alone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[synchlora]

genuinely clueless man

[shoezuki]

As someone with adhd and ocd- seeing it demonstrated every day on the hellhole that is mcyttwt that people Will use it against you if you use the wrong words or don’t say things in the exact way they want you to- is much more hurtful than anything a cc could say. One of the things me and many of my nd friends struggle with the most is just constantly worrying about how nt people will assume our intentions, put words into our mouths, get mad at us for things we didnt mean, etc., and walking on eggshells all the time. Seeing ccs get “cancelled” for things taken out of context, especially when there was clearly no actual malice behind it, just makes me extremely upset. They are claiming to be on our side while punishing people for things we want them to be understanding towards. I dont even know if this makes any sense sorry if its difficult to follow im upset!! Youre cool tho thx for the good takes

YEA I FUCKIN UNDERSTAND U SO MUCH!!!! Like ppl r So quick to misconstrue our words cuz we dont talk 'normal' n i get tjat shit on twitter All the time. It fuckin sucks like i can try so carefully to piece my words together n form sentences in 'normal' ways but ppl will Still pull some shit. Like im autistict/have adhd, i also have hand problems. I credit how i type n talk n shit to those things V strongly.

Like being ND online feels So Much like walkin on eggshells like u said. Like theres Things i miss n just dont Get, i feel like im talkin a different language sometimes or im in a foreign country. N i jus Live Like That.

Ppl cancelling phil for Potentionally poor word choice, or him not using 'proper' terms like Hyperfixation, or even jus his tone... n callin him Ableist for that???? Fucking horrible. These the same ppl who will take My words out of context n make assumptions on tone n intentions like.

None a that shit Helps nd ppl. It hurts us way more than anythin

[funkymbtifiction]

i just want to add to what you’ve said in the past about entps being prone to being taken advantage of. it’s definitely a thing, and some of it is hubris.

for almost a year, i gave a “friend” the benefit of the doubt even when i was never given the same consideration. i changed various behaviors to keep their friendship, to avoid hurting their feelings, and to maintain peace. i stuck around even when they straight up disappeared on me (once when i was even in the hospital). i listened to them talk shit about our mutual friends and wax constant negativity, often turning on me if i didn’t mimic their opinions or “validate” their feelings. meanwhile they dismissed my experiences/feelings (on the rare occasion i tried to share them) and openly mocked an issue that was very distressful for me. It’s not easy for me to be vulnerable, so having someone respond with 0 empathy and use this *against* me was honestly one of the most painful, shocking experiences I’ve ever had. Especially when I went out of my way to demonstrate my consideration of them, even if it meant throwing myself under the bus.

it 100% fucked me up. i really started to think that i didn’t deserve their attention, wasn’t interesting or important enough to have reassurance, and instead of ditching this “friend” i just kept giving them chances. maybe they’re depressed? anxious? going through a hard time? it’s covid so that could be it? maybe i am really shitty and don’t even realize it? am i the toxic person? when i said i understood did that come off sarcastic?

im an optimistic person by nature, but the constant, endless bitterness this person maintained against people they supposedly cared about really made it difficult to even function on a day to day basis. I had constant anxiety. I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning bc I was afraid of whatever issue or bad mood I was going to be responsible for that day. I was always trying to handle issues they were causing with other people and talking them down from hateful rants.

Turns out the whole issue was jealousy. We shared a friend and they were possessive of the friend, even though I’d been friends with said person over a decade and they’d only met that year.

Funny thing is, I considered this possibility early on because there were several red flags. I had suspicions that there was something off in how she treated me because the friendship never seemed mutual, but I didn’t want to believe it. I really didn’t. So I kept coming up with other possibilities and dismissing the negative ones, telling myself this person has to care a LITTLE. I told myself that jumping to any conclusion was unfair since I had no evidence. I’m not the type to trust in “gut feelings” so it was easy for me to ignore the uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. I rationalized it away and got myself lost in a rabbit hole so deep that I ended up doorslamming because i couldn’t fucking handle it. And I NEVER doorslam. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

So while ne/fe can be a good combination, if you let someone in who is willing to treat you badly (and start looping because of it), getting that fucker out is a nightmare. Im so much happier than I have been and I’m finally feeling like myself again, after months of walking on eggshells and minding my behavior, speech, and conduct for the sheer purpose of their feelings in spite of my own. I NATURALLY dismiss my own feelings constantly in favor of the collective or because I don’t find them worthwhile, but I quickly realized that having a *friend* constantly do this to me utterly destroyed my sense of self. I didn’t feel like I mattered or could speak or be direct without repercussions or consequences. I couldn’t be sincere or have any needs.

I never thought of myself as someone who could be emotionally bulldozed or bullied, but it fucking happened. And I’m mad about it. I overestimated my fe and thought that I could handle the situation and turn it around if I did all the right things. I 100% could not.

So ENTPs, listen to your instincts if that nagging feeling doesn’t go away.

Mod: Also valid for ENFPs. Stupid Ne-dom idealism = too many chances. ;)

[andromeda-starz]

venting here bc it's more or less abandoned and I have no following so it's not like anyone will see it

god I just can't stop thinking about how fucking toxic a person that was in my life was??? literally everything I did was wrong to the point of me trying to give them advice on shit was seen as an attack. fucking bonkers. i feel so horrible for the things I've said and done because I felt as though I would be met with coldness if I didn't act the same as they did. it's an awful guilt to deal with.

i talked extensively with one of our mutual friends about their behavior. mutual also felt trapped and unable to say anything, and like they were walking on eggshells. if I could give the ex friend access to the messages I would, even if just to help them stop being delusional about the way they've treated people. everybody saw how poorly they treated me. everybody saw how poorly they treat others.

the way they treated others has affected me and contributed to my recent (and also second) c-ptsd diagnosis. im paranoid that they keep tabs on me as they have so many others they've cut off and i cannot trust that anyones kindness is real. any time I notice they do not have me blocked on an account, I go and block them. It helps. I hope I am blocked by them on here as well but it also doesn't feel like a realistic expectation.

despite the trauma, having them out of my life has helped my overall mental health so much. I don't feel as drained. I don't constantly think about how much harsh judgement I receive behind my back for being human. for everything I would do.

I let a few people read the "back and forth" from when we parted ways. everybody agrees that many of the things said were projecting. the thing that sticks with me is "you've changed so much" everyone pointed out to me that it's so obvious that they didn't change at all since we met as children.

no matter what, I do wish the best for them. I hope they can work through their glaring flaws and narcissism and I hope they learn how to think of people that aren't themselves. I hope their partner is treated better by them. I hope their friends are treated better by them. I hope they learn how to accept criticism, it's a crucial part of life. However, I do not want anything to do with them, I hope to god that that's being respected by them. If it isn't, and they're reading this... respect my boundaries and stay away. Nobody will know this is about you. It's not a public call out, it's a personal vent on an account thats hardly been touched and has barely any followers. Pretend you didn't see it and move on.

[mantistog]

Hello. 8 and 10 with Sherlock please?

Hoesntlyn fhsdfhs this is my first time writing sherlock and im not sure it went that well but im posting it anyways so eeeeeeeeeeeee ur welcome LOL __________________________________________

Yandere! Sherlock Holmes x Reader: I’ll be whatever you want me to be.

It was in your nature to hate him, as it was in his to one up you. Being police was hard, even more so when you constantly get deprecated by a private detective who doesn’t know when to stay out of other peoples business. After a talk with the army doctor who followed him about, you learned to hate him a bit less (which didn’t mean much). As stated before, it was his nature and John had helped you understand that. You now understood that he needed this as much as you needed a cup of coffee right now. You wondered how Lestrade could even put up with him, or the army doctor who lived with the man. The pity you had for their souls. 

Maybe an energy drink would be more fit right now, actually. Whatever with the highest caffeine contents. Sherlock was explaining something about the murder, and at this point you just assumed he’d already solved it so you didn’t bother continuing to work. You simply stood there, wishing you had coffee so you could stay awake during his theatrical and boring speech. You must have been zoning out, cause you jumped half a meter when a pair of fingers snapped right in front of your face. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” You asked Sherlock, ready to get violent if it was not for the presence of Lestrade. 

“You of all people should be listening, officer. You could learn a thing or two about solving crimes.” You wondered if he knew he was being condescending, or if he just always sounded like that. There was a shared look between you and his companion doctor, and he just shrugged as an apology. Why was he only like this towards you? Sure, he was always a dick but you felt personally targeted as of recently. To be more precise, it started the first time you had a win. It had just been a normal case, where he had been a bit in over his head. Or maybe distracted. Either way you solved it first, and he had ticked off. Life had been rough since, to be honest.

Trying to not pummel Sherlock was not your forte, so while he was busy belittling Lestrade you snuck out of the police taped area to go get some coffee. As you left with the lovely caffeinated drink you were suddenly pulled into an alley, a hand being shoved over your mouth before you could scream. You were calmed to see it was Sherlock, but not thrilled. He removed his hand when he was sure you were calm enough not to scream. You were 5 seconds from just beating the shit out of him. “I seriously cannot stress how much I want to punch your face. What are you doing?” You asked, leaning in and pointing your finger at him for emphasis. 

“You left during a very teaching moment. I was worried you were trying to stay stupid on purpose.” You cringe. There’s no way you’re just going to stand there and listen to him, so you try and push past him. He just steps in front of you. Once again you try and side step him, and he does it again. You look up at him with seething rage. “Sherlock, you better fucking move or I am going to kill you.” He lets out a brief laugh, looking around like he is in disbelief. “Why is this so much harder than I anticipated?” 

You cock your head to the side, unsure what he is referring to. Sherlock would never admit to having trouble with anything, so you can’t help but be slightly intrigued. “What are you talking about, Sherlock?” Even you are surprised at the kindness and patience in your voice. There’s a silence, before he looks around again like he is searching for something. Or maybe just avoiding eye contact. “Do you hate me, officer?” 

You’re surprised at his question, and you’re not sure you know what to answer. Do you hate him? And if you really do, is it something you should reveal? It’s a heavy question, but with a lot of pent up anger you decide to be truthful. “Well, it’s hard not to innit?” You ask, rhetorically. “Honestly, I didn’t even think you’d care about my opinion on you.” He seems to understand, as his eyes meet yours.

“I think I was being quite obvious.” He says, and once again you’re left confused. The way he talks always assumes that the opposite party knows or understands everything. It’s hard to hold a conversation with him. “Obvious about what, Sherlock?” You ask. He looks at you like your stupid, or you grew a second head. You can’t tell. It makes you frustrated, and you scrunch your eyebrows together trying to keep yourself calm. “I’ve been trying to court you.”

You’re both flabbergasted and angry. What does he think courting means!? Whoever put the idea in his brain that courting starts with verbally abusing someone, was going to get the shit beaten out of them by you personally. “How exactly do you think insulting someone every chance you get will make someone like you? Unbelievable.” You try to walk past him again, but he grabs a hold of your shoulder and shoves you up against the alley wall, holding you in place.

“I was showing my dominance. A compatible partner should show themselves to be able to protect their mate. but…” He looks you over, and it makes you feel very uncomfortable. You might dislike Sherlock but you’d never felt unsafe in his presence. “You’re more remarkable than what an average relationship calls for. I’ll be your slave. If that’s what you want. I can submit to you.” Your mouth flies open, and you can’t help but blush at the slightly sexual undertones in his words. You’re not interested, but you’re unsure how to approach this. The whole interaction has you walking on eggshells.

“No, Sherlock. You misunderstand,” you begin, putting a hand on his chest and pushing a bit to create some distance. “It’s nothing like that! The fact that you think you can just change your approach to a relationship and get a person to like you shows a lot about what you think a relationship is. I’m not interested.” You push him a bit further, ready to leave the very unpleasant conversation behind. You almost feel bad as you look back at him. That is before he talks.

“You’ll come around. After all, I’m the only one who could ever love you.” You turn around, throwing your coffee to the ground and walking a bit closer, seething with rage. You’ve tried to be civil, but this is it. He has to be fucking with you, saying that after saying he was trying to court you. “I’m right. You have a bad attitude and your first response to everything is violence. You should have been falling at my feet for even being interested in you.” His arrogance only fuels you further, despite proving his point if you actually try and beat him up. You can tell he’s expecting you to stop as to not prove him right.

So you throw a good punch, hitting him straight in the face. “I don’t care!” Is all you say as you leave the alley. Sherlock wiped down his face with his hands, trying to stop himself from smiling. Your touch was intoxicating, no matter what form it came in. One day he’d teach you to love him, but for now he was satisfied with your violence.

[gcmblingdice]

..

Hopefully my next paycheck will push me having 2000 so i can pay off my aunt so I can get my car this weekend. Gotta make sure too that I can also pay off dad too (but he says to wait til next week?) But then i gotta like buckle down again om finding insurance.

Im also afraid Ill loose my state insurance and wont be able to afrord my meds because i cant afford insurance (unless i go through my work but idk how much extra that will be out of my paycheck.)

Yes I am moving in with my boyfriend and his partner, but I think its only until I am able to be on my own??? Idk. I need to get that clarification but i always forget.

Im also nervous and worried that once I move my dad may decline and idk. Also im not over how my brother keeps joking about me paying dad back cause its his inheritence too.

Like we already did the math and between bills going out and income coming in, he would have 600-700 a month of left over money to use for gas and grocerries etc. He can easily rebuild that 6k+ (8k if we counting the vet) and i mean I understand he wants the money back, but he keeps asking me ans reminding me and i keep telling him Ill.pay him back.

Then he also says to not rush it, but will remind me.of what i already paid him and its like SIR PLEASE? AND I AM SO DONE.

Im full on bulimic again and dont fucking care much anymore about shit and Im slipping. I find myself drinking more and more.

I resubbed to the gym but only went once and feel like shit. Like good job ya dumb bitch 10 dollars wasted a month. (I been trying to do evening walks tbh but i wanna do the gym for real again)

OH AND EVEN THO I CLOSED THE CREDIT CARD MOM HAD FOR DAD I FORGOT I NEEDED TO 0 OUT THE BALANCE LOL I FUCKING HATE IT SO THAT ONTOP OF EVERYTHING.

Man i just do not. Not to mention the walking on eggshells and I am still not over how my dad's side has villainized me ever since the funeral when i told them to fuck off. Also the gays are pedo narrative is one they cling tigthly too because CLEARLY ME HELPING TO LET THIS 13 YR OLD BE HEARD AND ENCOURAGING HER TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HER GENDER AND SHIT IS BIG NONO AND I AM I NOT ALLOWED TO HELP A YOUNG QUEER BECAUSE SHE IS 13 ANE DOESNT KNOW WHAT SHE IS FEELING AND ITS A PHASE.

Man fuck off. The way she was so excited to see someone who was also queer, who gave her space to vent, made me cry.

My aunt knows of her being gay (or qieer) but even she says that the girl might change her mind.

MA'AM. and even if she does end up not being queer ( which i highly doubt since she confessed she was always different in that she liked girls and those who were non gender conforming and always said she felt more seen by gay tiktok and that she wants ti learn more before she can settle on who she is, but she isnt allowed...

BUT APPARENTLY ME JUST SHOWING BASIC DECENCY AMD GIVING HER SPACE TO BE IS BAD AND MAKES ME A P*DO???

and people on either side of my family constantly telling me i look like mom or how well I am doing when ITS CLEAR I HAVenT HAD TIME TO HEALTHILY PROCESS ANYTHING BUT OKAAAAY AND YEEESSSS

Tell me Im selfish because I want a safe space to grieve. Tell me I should be more respectful of my dad cause he is hurt too. Also we love them telling me i am not allowed to speak out on my own abuse at my dads hands because "now you onownyour dad is a good man"

FUCK OUT HERE WITH THAT SHIT. ON GOD.

[kazayneo]

heeeyyy so i was working on a uquiz about Sibling Dynamics™ but i lost interest in it aha

so here are the results i wrote for it belooww. uquiz except i force you to self diagnose

annoying little sibling thats what you've been told you are, right? cuz you're always too loud, too selfish, too much to handle. your older siblings always had to put up with you, feign smiles and politenesss, but there were times when their masks slip and all that's left were scorn and disgust. people you once considered friends always moved on from you so quickly. was it because you were toxic? boring? what did you do wrong? you crave validation and attention so badly it hurts, but you're always so afraid of looking selfish. annoying. you're constantly walking on eggshells, and you feel as if everyone you have by your side is going to leave at some point. they always do. 

mediator sibling are you a middle child? or somewhere in the middle? idk man mediators vary a lot. you grew up as the golden child. the one who never caused trouble, never got involved in the family drama, was always there in the background watching it all happen. and maybe you ended up resenting them for all the drama. you spent your years trying to mediate, supporting and comforting your family members who are often twice your age, and holding your tongue. you didnt want to cause more drama, after all. and now you're numb and tired and so full of rage. you also probably have gifted child burnout syndrome.

oh and also for the next one, i was just really mean™️ probably too mean?? idk.

older sibling (derogatory) (i bet you're a decent person irl and im just projecting but lemme get this out real quick). you did not pass the vibe check. at all. not one bit. what? did your little sibling whine like a spoiled brat when they were younger? did they cause so much trouble when they were a toddler? boo fucking hoo bitch. how does it feel demonizing a literal child huh? how did it feel to hurt that child, to ignore them, to make it so fucking clear that you hate their guts? how does it feel to hold a grudge against a kid? pathetic. honestly. everyone point and laugh.

protective older sibling you were Not dealt a good card in life. if thats even how the saying goes. your parents have failed you and your siblings, who you ended up having to take care of. you're trying to be strong, trying to be there for your siblings when your parents were not, trying to make up for them in places where your parents lacked. you grew up having to be the adult in a room of children when you were a child yourself. you have so many responsibilities and expectations for yourself, its suffocating. you're bitter and angry and, underneath so many layers of denial, you're collapsing in on yourself. you're trying so desperately to be happy. and i hope you find that happiness someday.

the forgotten sibling you're so lonely. you didn't have any particular talents or outstanding features growing up, and in a home with so many other, more bright and loud people, you struggle to stand out. you are lost in a crowd, always blending in but never truly belonging. maybe there was a time when you tried to define yourself, find a spark, get people to notice, but that time is long gone. and all that is left is tiredness.

talented sibling oh, you definitely have gifted child burnout syndrome. the world seemed so bright before, all those years ago. what happened? you grew up the talented and gifted one. yknow, the one everyone idolized and looked up to. you were probably the favorite child too. but the world moves on from that too quickly, and you were left struggling to catch up. theres expectations and newfound pressure and the crushing weight of disappointment and its all so overwhelming and you didnt know where to start. and maybe you still dont.

[kimnjss]

as much as i want yn and tae to work this out, tae should really sort out his shit. does he not understand how toxic that is? is that all it takes, ailee to start crying and you just immediately believe what she says? bruh fuck how she feels. he needs to heal from what he went through with ailee. he knows she’s not good but he needs to understand she was manipulative and he doesn’t need to constantly be protective of her feelings! (he’s pulling less of you! yn with miju!) and the line where it said that tae was treating you as if you had a history of cheating and lying?? like bruh that’s so toxic... (does tae really feel some type of way finding out the yn sleeps around and is like lowkey holding it against her?? 😨) all this time, does he even really know yn truly?? the picture is what started it all for him to open his eyes, he wowed us with the nice dates and gifts but now, he’s just falling back into his same patterns/routines again. even though i wanted yn to punch the everloving SHIT outta ailee, jae was the one who got that punch 👊🏽💥 so im glad SOMEONE got their shit rocked! 🤪 i loved this update, i was starting to feel a lil bit for ailee (?🥴) but afterwards, i just felt pure anger. she really reminds of this old friend i used to have who was just like ailee, manipulative and toxic af. 🙃 it’s just giving me flashbacks feeling like i’m constantly in survival mode and walking on eggshells. i understand why tae is behaving the way he does but yn doesn’t deserve that kind of baggage. and not saying she shouldn’t be there to help him but if he continues to keep switching up on her when it comes to ailee(or whatever unhealthy habits he’s not dealing with properly), she has no other option but to cut him off. SORRY FOR THE RANT! holy shit, i didn’t think it’d be this long but omg, this really got me 😭 ughhhh i love this series so much. i feel for tae and yn and i want them to be happy but you’re right, tae has a lot of self reflection and fixing to do. 🥺 kez you’re truly an angel, ily! 💖

honestly if they plan for their relationship to work without ruining the friendship that they’ve built ., tae needs to take a step back nd figure out what’s going on in his head nd sort out his feelings for yn nd get rid of the automatic responses that he developed by being in such a toxic relationship for such a long time . the way he acted w yn abt tae was a spitting image of how he’d react if ailee was in the situation ., bc ailee has a history of lying nd he knows that he can’t trust her - so now that yn is taking up the girlfriend place without him doing any real work in getting over ailee ., he’s automatically turning his past doubts on to her . 

(tae does not care that yn used to sleep around or if she’s head other boyfriends ., that means nothing to him . bc he’s done the same thing)

he really needs to take time to figure out how to make a relationship work w yn ., bc he’s w her now . it’s obvious that he does have feelings for her nd he is willing to put in the work to be w her nd for things to work out properly ., but wanting to do it is different than actually doing it . that’s where yn sort of lost out bc she saw that he wanted to change nd rushed into being w him nd letting her guard down without any real growth coming from him . 

all of his negative feelings for ailee nd their relationship need to be worked out in order for him to enter something new without any of that stuff resurfacing . how quick he was to snap out of it nd believe yn shows that he never really thought she’d do something like that ., it was just a reflex from what he’s dealt w before nd he’s now projecting it on to her . 

...yeah he has a lot of work to do for himself nd also for a relationship w yn . 

[forcedsense]

People always get so offended when I tell them that I’m allowed to call myself an idiot/dumb/whatever but theyre not allowed to call me that and then get mad at me if i call them out on it while playing games oe whatever (not abt the rpc this is abt the rl ex friend lol) and im just like;;; we might share autism but heres the thing, I’m allowed to call myself an idiot bc i live with myself. You’re not allowed to insult me because a: its rude, and b: you’re literally calling me an idiot due to my not having a sense of direction and play styles due to my disabilities.

The very fact people STILL dont understand why insulting someone for their disabilities, or flat out saying ‘your lack of attention just proves youre the worse xx player ever!!’ is literally just ableism and offensive is why i have trust issues and am tired of other people. I am allowed to joke about my problems because I have to live with them, and in manyways yes I am just an idiot, like how I was an idiot for not realizing that a grown ass man one month younger than me always relying on me to pay for shit to do w him, guilting me out of things i want to do because he decided it was stupid, insulting half the shit i liked saying it and anyone who enjoys it is stupid, regularly using the R-slur when something dumb is done/happens (ableism aGAIN), refusing to get a license because he ‘doesnt feel like it’, doesnt even try to get a job anymore after a few rejections (which, I’ve applied hundreds of places and never even received a rejection, so im starting to wonder the validity of those statements too) and saying its because his mother wants to force him into one, abusing his siblings by screaming at them and gaslighting them constantly, but I’m the idiot and the asshole because I’m disabled, or I don’t always think first before soing things (which has led to my doing shitty or stupid things, but I have the remarkable capability of admitting when I was wrong unlike these fuckheads who, when you flat out explain in detail what they did wrong, claim youre gaslighting and abusing them when youre telling them its inappropriate and wrong to guilt trip, be ableist, insult others intelligence, and ignoring when people ask you to stop, and all the times he joined my streams and would use my birth name after I asked him not to and to use my pen/alias, always accounting it to ‘forgetting’ but after 30+ times of being told, its no longer forgetting, like thats just putting unnecessary risk and ignoring personal preferences. I won’t even go into all the bitchfits about ‘gender discussion’ or anything because it still makes me sick and gave me severe imposter syndrome for my body dysmorphia.

Respect the disableds wishes, We should not have to explain this to you. Basic human decency should just be a given, and someone telling you in detail why what youre doing is wrong, and ignoring it and repeating it again (I’ve told him before that insulting me, calling me names, and otherwise hurt my feelings and I don’t want to risk any relapses. He ignored these and continued, he’d screencap my making mistakes and putting bad things in the wrong chat, and when I would apologize for what I did when I was wrong, he’d still hold it over my head and claim I suicide baited when I didn’t. I say whats happening and assume its fine since i was always there for him when he needed me, even after he actualy suicide baited me by claiming my using a joke on him he repeatedly used on me made him suicidal and that i owed him an apology, ive literally been walking on eggshells for years and finally not having him in my life has actuallybeen so much more freeing than I ever thought it would be. )

Disabled people are very often the centerfold of abusive relationships because we’re so used to the mistreatment that its almost a fucked up comfort, we feel like our complaining about mistreatment is us ‘overreacting’ because the able bodied constantly convince us it is. That we’re always the problem whether we make mistakes or do something bad and that our apologies are always fake and wrong, but when people do horrible things to us we’re not owed an apology, rather we always owe them. It’s fucked up and wrong, and honestly exhausting. We’re not punching bags to make the able bodied feel better about themselves. Whats fucked up is hes also autistic, and should know better, but is so self possessed that all the friendships hes lost and regained over the years have never been his fault, he was always ‘being abused’ by everyone, everyone somehow is always in love with him and gaslighting him, and ive come to terms with the fact its a mental fuck up of a self centered individual so narcissistic that he cant handle the idea hes ever in the wrong.

If I talkedabout this to people, they would claim I was in the wrong for not worrying about his feeings more or ‘putting up with it because it helps him feel better, he goes through a lot at home’. Being treated shittily doesnt give you a free pass to abuse your supposed friends. His dads a piece of shit and his mom (who honestly was an amazing person as far as I saw and his siblings would talk about. but he personally always claimed she’d turn into a monster randomly for saying he should get a job or try to succeed in life, and for applying for jobs for him that e purposefully failed the interviews for. These are the exact reasons he’d bitch about her, and occasionally because he’d overhear hee claiming he was wasting his life, which is horrible to hear but still does not excuse insulting your friends, belittling their success, insulting them for their disabilities, and going through your friends for supply and then dumping them and ‘accepting them back after they apologize’ whenever you need more validation. My family life is fucked to high heaven and I still try to be kind to people, I still try to educate people, and I still do my best even if I fuck up. And when I fuck up, I own up to it and apologize. Something people always ignore and pretend never happened, because to them the disabled are incapable of apologies.

Stop talking over us, stop treating us like shit, and stop purposefully hurting us, our feelings, insulting us, and using us to make you fee better. We are not punching bags, we are real people with real issues and all your shitty behavior does is add to it.

[walkingonlegos]

I’m 36 years old and I’m at a cross roads in my life right now. Divorced for almost 5 years from my high school sweetheart, first “love”, first sexual partner, first experience of what you thought life is supposed to be. We will call him Pat. My 6yr old daughter, Soliel, and I are planning on moving in with my boyfriend of 3 years, Drew. He is also divorced and does not have any kids of his own, nor has he lived with a child before. When he started dating me he knew that Pat was not involved with Soleil at all and has not been since she was a few months old. But what i didn’t know until very recently was that I was the victim of abuse for 12 years with Pat. Over the years he wore me down and made me think that I was the cause of any and all inconveniences and disappointments in his life. Over time I became a people pleaser who constantly reads people to make sure I am not upsetting them and if they are upset I instantly try to fix it. I constantly overthink my actions and feelings and walk on eggshells to keep peace. I put everyone’s needs and whims ahead of my own and constantly tell myself that I’m not important. Im broken as fuck and it’s exhausting living this way. If anyone does the bare minimum for me I instantly show gratitude and feel I’m fortunate. Eventually I realize that those close to me take advantage of doing almost nothing or putting forth no effort and getting more than they ever wanted in return.

I need to change this, but I dont know how.

I’m unhappy and feel guilty for putting Drew through my ups and downs in my self hatred and need reassurance from him constantly. He’s been so patient with me but I didn’t actually realize how badly I was abused and how it has fucked me up immensely. I know I need to seek therapy and I plan on it but apparently telling your story is supposed to help you move forward. So alll you mofos get to read my incessant rambling. I hope this helps me, because I want to have a healthy, hopefully one day marriage, with Drew. I just want to be loved and make an impact on someone so they don’t regret having me in their life. I don’t want to feel like someone’s burden anymore.

[illfoandillfie]

Congrats on 1k!!Can you do a sequel to Code Red where Roger asks the reader if he can hookup with another girl (a groupie) and maybe she’s not comfortable with it but she says yes anyway because she thinks if she doesn’t he’ll cheat when she’s not there, end it however you want ❤️❤️❤️

thank you lovely! ngl this was the last fic i expected to get a request about lmao but today wasnt great so writing a bit of angst stuff was good.

Code Red

1000 Follower Celebration

~~~

In the weeks since the incident you and Roger had made more of an effort to be as honest as possible. You were wracked with guilt about what had happened, and based on how careful Roger was being around you, he was the same. It manifested in overly polite inquiries about how each other felt, about everything from what happened in the bedroom to what you had for dinner. He’d taken to triple checking you were okay with every small decision, and you’d followed his example until all you seemed to ask each other was are you sure? and do you mean it? It wasn’t bad exactly; it was well intended and obviously meant he cared about you and was worried about hurting you, but there was no denying how exhausting it was. You were sure Roger was just as fed up with the whole thing as you were, quicker to get short with you, more likely to come to bed after you were asleep or stay out of the house for as long as possible when you were home. He maintained it was just that he was exhausted from prepping for the new tour – meetings with the others to discuss set lists and which theatrics would be brought out – but you were sure that couldn’t be the only reason. So you were more than a little surprised when he came home early one Saturday, dropping onto the couch beside you and patting his lap like he used to when he wanted you to snuggle up with him. 

“Really?” 

“Only if you want to,” there was that tone again, like he was trying to keep himself from saying more. 

“Of course I want to Rog, been so long since I saw you properly or for long enough to cuddle.” You quickly shuffled closer, leaning your head against his chest as he dropped a kiss to the top of your head.

“I know love, I’m sorry. Things have just been so crazy with he tour and stuff, but I’m here now. Tell me what’s been going on lately, how was work?”

Your innocent conversation soon turned a little more risqué. Between the days of barely seeing each other and the forced politeness of your interactions when you were actually able to be together, both of you were left feeling playful and more than a little flirty. Before you knew it you were sitting across Roger’s lap, his fingers dancing over your leg as he told you about a wet dream he’d had a few nights previous. “So there I was, a hand in your hair and a hand in hers while both of you slobbered over my cock,”

You gave him a light slap on the arm at his word choice.

“Anyway, thats when I woke up.” 

“God,” you laughed, “I swear I’ve never had a dream like that, although I’ve never actually remembered a dream. How the fuck did you manage it?” It felt nice to be back like this with Roger, back to feeling comfortable and not like you were walking on eggshells.

“I don’t know where it came from,” 

“You think about threesomes much?” 

“A bit I guess, probably not much more than the average person though. Why, love? You suggesting something?” he cocked his eyebrow at you. 

“Well, threesomes have never been high on my list but I wouldn’t rule them out entirely. Definitely something intriguing about them. But we’d have to find someone else if that was going to happen… one of the boys maybe?”

“And here I was thinking we were going to invite a second girl,”

 “I’m not opposed to it but I don’t know any girls who’d be up for it so unless you’ve got someone in mind…” 

“Hmmm no one specific,” 

There was something off about his tone that made your chest tighten with worry, “is there anyone else youd want to sleep with?” you tried to play it off as a joke in the hopes that you could keep up the lighthearted connection you’d so missed, “Just so we can give this mysterious other woman a better identity, maybe inspire a dream or two of my own.” 

“One or two, Jane Fonda for instance.” 

“People on your free pass list don’t count Rog, I already know about them.” 

He paused, “honestly?” 

The word made you tense up almost instantly, “That’s what we’ve agreed,” 

“Yes,” he at least had the good grace to look uncomfortable with his admission.

“Who?” neither of you were laughing any more, all the tension from the previous weeks was back in full force, threatening to snap at any moment. 

“No one really, theres just this bird who’s followed us on the last couple of tours Very flirty, cute.” 

“And ummm, would you? Sleep with her, I mean, if you had the chance?” 

“I’ve had the chance, love. More than once she’s tried to get into my pants. I think she’s trying to do the whole groupie thing. Pretty sure Brian’s had her, or maybe it was Deaky, I don’t remember. She’s made it pretty clear she wants me though and, if I’m being honest, I haven’t done anything yet but it’s a little tempting.” 

The yet cut through you like a knife, “Is this you asking for permission?” 

“No… Maybe,” 

“If I said I was okay with it, would you do it?” 

“Maybe?”

“Rog,” you pushed yourself away from him, standing up and folding your arms over your chest. 

Roger leaned forward, imitating your closed off body language, “I know it’s not fair of me to ask that of you or, fuck, for me to even have told you any of it. But things have been so hard between us lately. Every time we’re together I remember what it felt like when you passed out and went limp. Every time we get close to having sex I worry about fucking up again and hurting you. But she’s easy, in every sense of the word. I could just sleep with her and it wouldn’t be a big deal. I wouldn’t feel like I had to be on constant guard with her in case she’s not telling me the truth about how she was doing. I wouldn’t feel like I had to triple check what she wanted. It’d be so fucking simple.” He sighed and dragged his hands over his face, “just forget it, Y/N. Forget I mentioned it,”

“How can you expect me to forget it?” 

“I shouldn’t have said anything, it was just another of my fuck ups,” 

“Oh goddamn it Roger!” you yelled, throwing your arms up in frustration, “I know you feel bad about…what happened, so do I. I mean, Jesus, you think I haven’t noticed the tension too? You think I’m not constantly worried that I’m not being clear enough about fucking everything? I know that the incident fucking sucked and I know it scared you and I know I should have done better and I’m trying Roger, I promise I’m trying. But the constant questioning and apologising are just making it harder. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough, that I’m doing it wrong. I feel like I’m losing you and I don’t know how to stop it.” you bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from saying more. Maybe you’d fucked up again too. Maybe this would just confirm for him that you were a crazy bitch and send him into her arms instead. “But it’s fine. You know what, this might actually be good. Go and sleep with her and maybe it’ll help us sort all this out. Maybe you just need a reminder of what its like to be with someone you can trust. Just promise you’ll use protection and think of me.” You turned and walked away but Roger caught you before you’d even crossed the room.

“Y/N, wait,”

You stared at him, trying to keep the anger outweighing the worry but it was impossible under his gaze, “Please don’t. Please don’t sleep with her. I know things have been hard lately but I love you and the thought of you being with someone else…it’d tear me apart.” 

Roger pulled you against him, wrapping his arms around you tightly, “I won’t. Of course I won’t. Couldn’t have even if you had been okay with it.” 

“Promise?” the worry that you might have just hammered the last nail in your relationship’s coffin, driven him to cheat on you, was all you could think about.

“Y/N,” he leant back and placed his hand on your cheek, locking his eyes on yours, “I am being completely honest when I say this. I love you and I would never cheat on you. With her or anyone else. We’ll get through this, I promise. You’re all I need.”

Taglist since this is a follow up to an actual fic:  @laedymoon​​​​  @dtfrogertaylor​​​​   @ezmina98​​​​  @vee-ndetta​​​​ @atomic-watermelon​​​​ @kellypenac​​​​ @labessieisallama​​​​ @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr​​​​ @drowseoftaylor​​​​  @hannafuckingsucks​ @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely