#i feel like i'm someone who people actually don't know what to do when i cry because it's not something they would expect from me?

[candidenigma]

As usual, I think there are two different elements to this.

Firstly, that to love someone you have to know them. If you love the person you want or the person you expect or the person you think they could/would/should be then you don't love the actual person. If you love the idea of being in love or having a relationship then you don't love the actual person. If you want love, and not just infatuation, you have to make the effort to know the person as they are, and let them know you as you are. (That doesn't prohibit personal growth and development but it does mandate honesty.)

Secondly, that to love someone you have to give as well as receive. I don't believe that the desire to be "held, cooked for, taken care of" is the craving for a mother - unless we have no desire to hold, cook for, or take care of the other person. Parental love is by its nature unbalanced. Humans are born helpless and take a long time to become self-sufficient. Parental love means that the caregiver has a desire to care for the child without expecting anything in return. As the child grows up the relationship may become more balanced. If the parent needs care when elderly then the relationship may reverse entirely. But that relationship always begins from a place of helplessness on one side and responsibility on the other. Romantic relationships, like friendships, are not different because it's a different kind of love. They're different because they begin from a place of reciprocity.

NB: I realise that this is a complex issue for people with some types of disabilities, whose romantic partners may also become their carers, but this is not something I feel qualified to talk about. I have a mild disability but I'm fully capable of providing for my own basic needs.

As adults most of us don't need someone else to keep us safe and warm, or to feed us, or to help us with the daily necessities of life. We can do all that for ourselves. But we still enjoy having someone we trust do those things for us, because it's pleasurable, but also because it's such a powerful demonstration of the fact that they value us. Humans are a social species. We generally can't survive "in the wild" without others of our kind, and it's therefore a psychological imperative to know that there is someone who cares about us. To have someone give us a hug or cook us a meal or bring us a gift, whether platonically or romantically, reassures us that we're valued and won't be abandoned. On the other side of things, to provide this care indicates that we can be trusted and relied upon by that person - and being trusted is also psychologically important. The key to both friendship and romantic partnership is that it's mutual. I don't only want someone to hold me and cook for me and take care of me - I want to do all that for them. I don't only think about how my life would be different if someone (romantically) loved me - I think about how it would be if I had someone to love.

The desire to have company and someone to share our favourite TV shows, games, etc. with is also in our nature as a social species. Sharing anything - food, entertainment, or work - facilitates bonding, whether between two individuals or a group. Sharing something of importance to you is a way to create or strengthen a bond but it's also a way to determine whether the other person/s has the same value system and the same desires as far as the relationship. The more compatibility is established, the stronger the bond becomes. Problems occur when one or both are so desperate to have that bond - because they're lonely, or infatuated, or simply immature - that they overlook causes of incompatibility, or find compatibility where there is none. This comes back to the first point, that you can't love someone unless you know them.

It's an unrealistic expectation for anyone to understand us without saying a word, although it does happen for some people some of the time. It's an impossible expectation for anyone to save us. What we really want is someone who will always listen and make their best effort to understand; someone who cares enough to help us save ourselves. This is also the best that we can do for another person. The love that we desire is the same love that we had or should have had as infants. The difference is that when we've matured we desire to give as much as to receive.

[velvetvexations]

I'd like to add something to the topic of forced impregnation / corrective rape of transmascs & men.

One thing I feel like other people tend to believe is that trans people with uteruses / the capability to get pregnant are "extremising" a problem that really only affects a few select trans people, surely not a lot.

What they don't get is that we're not extremising anything. Even just on the topic of forced pregnancy, I know barely a single trans man who hasn't been told that getting pregnant would fix him or that his whole worth as a person with a uterus is measured in how many children he can pop out at best, or being straigh up threatened with it or at worst having someone actually attempt to or fully act on that threat. And the ones who it didn't happen to? They know full well that it's always a "it didn't happen yet". That threat is still there, even without anyone saying it. People don't have to outright say it or threaten us because we just know.

It's not something we made up as a "gotcha" to trans women. In fact, it has nothing to do with most trans women at all, safe for the ones who can get pregnant! It's our lived experience. Our every-day life.

I was thirteen, just started my period, when my mother started to try to convince me that my whole worth as a person was making babies, that I needed to make kids the second I'd turn eighteen, that I would otherwise waste my life. And no, she didn't actually think that of all women. My cis sister? Never got to hear any of that. Just me. Because my mother looked at me being masculine and saw something she needed to fix (by only buying me extremely sexualised feminine outfits and telling me the stuff mentioned above, and that it was "only that" makes me one of the lucky ones). It happened to me not just because I was born with a uterus, because then it would've happened to my sister, too. It happened because my mother could tell something was "wrong" with me because I was too masculine. Got a little too exited when people mistook me for my brother. She didn't know what transmasculinity was back then in name, but she absolutely did know that it was "wrong" and needed to be "fixed" - and the way to fix a "broken woman" is to get her pregnant. She, of course, couldn't do that back then, but she could do her best to try to make me do that once I was "old enough" (I'm very glad today that she failed.)

And basically every trans men I've talked with about that topic had their own story like that or much, much worse. Only very rarely has a transmasc/man not experienced something like that, and even then, the threat is so omnipresent that even they tend to know exactly what I'm talking about.

It's a horrifying truth, it's uncomfortable, but it needs to be talked about. Our pain has been ignored and swept under the rug for so long, and people are still continuing to do so. So they can keep telling themselves that we "don't have it that bad" that we're "making a deal out of nothing" that what happens to us is just "individual cases" not something targeted. Because if people don't listen, they don't have to admit to themselves how they're playing into our oppression. Because to this day my mother is still claiming that she supports the trans community, after she did everything in her power to stop her son from existing. She won't listen to what I have to say because it "wasn't that bad", and my sister turned out great, so what do I have to cry about?

Nobody listens to trans men in general because it's never "as bad" as we make it out to be. After all, a cis woman said it wasn't that bad and she'll always be more believable than what ever a trans man or transmasculine person has to say. A trans man could obviously never experience anything a cis woman in his situation wouldn't.

This got longer than I anticipated. Thank you for listening and talking about this topic. I appreciate you, your work here is incredibly important and I'm glad you do this. Take care, and have a nice day!

(Also, this whole assumption about us "extremising" and "making a big thing out of nothing" also sounds a bit like hysteria talk to me, especially given that our conversation is about uterus-related things, but I might be reading to much into it here.)

the issue is that TRFs will take all this as "so you're saying that means trans men have it worse than trans women?"

like noooooooo you invented that sentence! that was nowhere in the original text girliepop!

[quartzteph]

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY TGS!!!!!

I've had this design for a recombined Jekyll rolling around in my head for months now, so I finally took the time to draw him. For the sake of clarity I'll refer to him as Re!Jekyll (short for Recombined Jekyll) (also the prefix "re-" feels kinda fitting for him, since he is whole once again). I have many ideas/headcanons for him, but I'll put all that under the cut :)

As for the drawing itself, I tried to mimic the look of the comic for the most part. (Note: Many of the colors used here were colorpicked from the comic to ensure accuracy.) I wanted him to look less like a 50/50 mix of Jekyll and Hyde and more like a Hyde-ish Jekyll, so I opted to give him the same face and hairstyle as Jekyll, but with some Hyde-like qualities. Aside from the obvious blonde streak, his hair is fluffier, messier, and a bit longer. The hair tuft/sideburn things in front of his ears are based on a mix of the hair tufts that hang in front of Hyde’s ears and university Jekyll’s sideburns. While he mostly wears red, he likes to include a touch of green, as seen here in his cravat. Also he gets the dark eye circles, as a treat. (I just really like Hyde's dark eye circles and don't have enough self-restraint to not give them to Re!Jekyll.)

Bonus doodles cause i love my freak son:

Various headcanon ramblings about him (plus drawing process) under the cut:

When he's trying to look more respectable, he uses his now-longer bangs to hide his green eye. At first, he also attempts to make his hair look neater, but this is a near impossible task that he eventually gives up on. (He is doomed to live out the fuzzy-headed mad scientist stereotype.)

When people question his sudden change in appearance, he claims his blonde streak and green eye are the result of a chemical formula splashing him in the face (á la Two-Face). Yeah this sounds a little far-fetched, but he is charming enough to get away with it. (Besides, he knows way more about alchemy than they do, who are they to question it?)

This sudden merging of identities is initially super disorienting. It takes him a while to get used to it. (In the first few days, he keeps referring to himself with "we". He eventually breaks this habit tho.)

Has a bit of an identity crisis. (I'm specifically envisioning a scene of him staring at his wardrobe, mostly full of reds and greens, and getting stuck because he doesn't know what color to wear.)

Jekyll and Hyde were so used to having someone constantly there, listening to them and yapping in their ears (or in their heads, rather). Now, for Re!Jekyll, life feels so quiet. It's peaceful, but also a little lonely.

Has a bad habit of talking to himself aloud. When he's alone, he sometimes has whole conversations or debates with himself.

Struggles more with the mundane parts of his job due to having Hyde's impulsiveness and wanderlust. He occasionally has to take little breaks from all the paperwork when he becomes too restless.

He's still goopy. Moments of extreme emotion (stress, anger, excitement, etc.) can trigger the green goop. (Think that one scene in Ch. 14 when the priestess startles Hyde, causing goop to spew from his face.) I like to imagine the guilt of everything he's done hitting him and causing him to have a "that one scene in Howl's Moving Castle" moment.

In rare moments of severe inner turmoil or repression, he may even go into convulsions in addition to the goop, as if his body is trying to transform. (Feel free to disregard this one if you wish, this is 100% just me being super self-indulgent cause I love angst.)

Despite his many newfound struggles, he’s actually very happy! He now knows that Lanyon loves and accepts every part of him, and this helps him to better love and accept himself.

And now drawing process images! Shoutout to that one Re!Jekyll who is way too excited about something:

[kiyzukiy]

Cat distribution system

Sypnosis: Life is hard as it is, so all we all wish for is some comfort in a furry friend. No one accounted for life playing funny tricks so what would happen if you find Caleb in a trash dumpster?

Tags: reader x Caleb, fluff, Cat!Caleb, crack?, funny (hopefully)

A/N: I got inspired by another fic I found on here with a similar flow. If anybody knows what I'm talking about please tag that person. I don't want to disregard any original ideas! >.<

As always, if I missed any tags please tell me.

Word count: 4.8k

I hope you enjoy <3

Divider by me

You groan as you stretch yourself out. Sitting too long is always such a hassle. Tired bones and you felt like your muscles have calcified. If you wouldn't have moved now someone could have mistaken you for a stone statue the way you were perched at your work desk and scrolled endlessly through files. 

Doesn't matter now though. The clock finally releasing you from your workload. Tomorrow was also a day and the files wouldn't suddenly grow legs and run away. No need to do overtime today. 

You rubbed your face. Trying to shake off your exhaustion and slowly blinking the dryness in your eyes away. One more stretch that let out a satisfying crack in your back and you stood up. Packing your things together and making sure that this time you also took your thermal mug with you. Waving your coworkers goodbye you made your way home. Head already in the clouds with your game. Planning your time out of doing your dailies and just admiring your favourite fictional man. A pity that they don’t build men like that in real life.

The chill evening air hitting your face made you shiver the first step you took outside. Cuddling up in your coat and wrapping your scarf up just a tad higher you began your track home. 

Fuck it's cold, you think to yourself. When would spring arrive and you didn't have to be out in this freezing weather anymore? Don't get me wrong, winter is something beautiful and when the snow hits the landscape it was akin to a fairy tale setting. The sunsets even more stunning with the low light and making everything glisten. Colours spreading over the horizon in deep violet and heartwarming orange. Frozen over roads just a bit slippery which made your way to work a small adventure when you played the game “do I land on my bum today or not?”. But enough was enough. 

You wanted the sun back in your days having had your fill with this gloomy grey cloudscape. Waking up when it was still dark out and going home when night greets you again was draining more of your energy than you liked to admit. What made matters worse wasn't even that it didn’t affect only you, but that the melancholic and cold atmosphere was spreading slowly over to the people around you. It was in the way minor inconveniences would grate the nerves of your colleagues or the small tick of the jaw of your boss. The forced smile in service people who normally would make it seem genuine. Point was: everyone was fed up and ready for the seasons to change. When was the last time you saw the sun actually? Was it last October? Two weeks ago? You don't remember anymore. Just- just a long time ago. Pretty sure. Maybe you were a bit dramatic but all you wanted was to feel the warmth again and getting your vitamin D in. 

A rustle next to you snapped you out of your self-pitying lament. Confused you turned your head to the right. Nothing. Just a dark alley. A car passed you by on your left, shortly illuminating a sliver of said alley. A dumpster could be made out but nothing exciting. You shrugged your shoulders and took one step, but another rustle stopped you once more. A sigh left you. Would you really go investigate? You swore this is how the stupid character out of a horror movie always died. This exact way but the curiosity in your mind and veins tried their very best to lure you into that alley to go look. One peak wouldn't hurt right? A man who wanted to drag you into it would have done it by now. There wouldn't be a more perfect chance than right now. The way you stood there like a fine lady in bewilderment. 

This is what you get when you forget the one time your headphones at home. If it would be any other day, you would have continued on. Having passed this particular alley countless times and in daylight it wouldn’t be as scary as it was in this instance. Hopping from one foot to the other, you were uncertain. Would you really? You also could just…leave. Never finding out and always wondering. Spending sleepless nights wondering what could have been in this very alley that made these rustling noises. Or you would forget about it as soon as tomorrow morning came. Maybe it was just the wind that blew over a leaf or bag. On the other hand this could be a cool story you could tell your friends about. Or you could get mugged. 

Alright fuck it. You go. Otherwise you would stand out here in the cold for the next ten minutes pondering about if this decision will have negative consequences on your life. 

Tentatively you took one step into the alley. Instantly your common sense kicked in and pressed adrenaline into your veins. My god, this is the way you would die. Mentally have written your testament and who you would leave behind what you took another step. 

“Hello?”, you asked hesitantly into the night. Frustrated with yourself you grunted. Naturally a serial killer would answer you out of the alley with “yes, behind this dark corner. I made sandwiches, you want one?”. 

You had half a mind just turning back around again, but as if on cue another rustle. This time followed with a bang out of the dumpster. You let out a breath of relief. Oh by the gods, it was just a stray animal…or was it? Nevertheless the strong grip of fear that held your breathing back let a bit loose and you made your way to the dumpster with sure steps. 

Your heart clenched in your chest at the thought that maybe an unlucky racoon got trapped in the dumpster and would meet an unsightly end in one of the waste disposal sites. Without a second thought you opened it and peered inside. Barely enough light from the street lights flooded one side of the dumpster and you saw- nothing. It was pitch black. Quickly you patted your pockets. First coat and then your pant pockets for your phone. One hand fished for it and rather clumsy you unlocked it to get to your flashlight. Now with your weapon of light you peered inside once more and this time you saw- trash. At first. A lot of it, nothing out of the ordinary for a dumpster in a lived in neighborhood. Out of the corner of your eye you saw movement and following it was your hand with your phone. 

“Naaww you poor guy. How did you end up in here?”, you cooed after you spotted a brown cat that had a completely black right arm. Its fluffy fur was completely damped and it looked very dirty. Also something you could expect of a stray cat. Slowly and cautiously you held out your hand to it as to not scare the cat away. 

“Come here. Let me help you”, you said in a low voice. The cat looked at you, then at your hand, rather unimpressed. In true cat manner it seemed like it wanted to say “I don't need your help puny little human”. You giggled. 

“Come on. I don't bite and as soon as you are out of the dumpster I leave you alone. What do you say?”, you tried to reason with the cat as if it could understand you. To your astonishment it acted like it did. Suspicious of your hand the cat sniffed it first. Deeming you not an immediate threat it rose up from its position and stepped closer to your hand and yourself. Slowly you dragged your hand to a spot where you could easily grab the cat and lift it out. 

“Alright buddy. I’m going to grab you now so don't make me regret it by scratching me”, you spoke more to yourself than the cat. You really didn't want to go to the next doctor and get a tetanus vaccine in. The cat still unimpressed with you followed your movement though. Securely you wrapped one hand around its ribcage and the other, after putting your phone away, beneath its hind paws and scooped it up and over the dumpster back on the ground. 

“There ya go”, you smiled down at the cat. “Didn’t even hurt.” 

The cat looked up at you and only then do you notice its blue eyes that really dipped into a deep violet. A splatter of yellowish green accompanied the irises. For such a beautiful cat to be a stray, you almost didn't believe it. 

Also, the cat didn't move. You fully expected it to dash away as soon as its paws were back on the ground but it just stood in front of you. Almost like it was waiting for something. 

“Go on now. Go home”, you crouched down and offered your hand again. “Or don't you have a home? Such a beautiful cat as yourself.” 

The cat once more went to your hand. Starting to purr as it rubbed its head against your hand. Demanding pats. 

“Yes”, you giggled. “Such a handsome cat. And friendly too. You must have a home, right?” 

The cat meowed as if it tried to answer you. Your heart broke a bit. For sure this handsome fellow had a home. As you absentmindedly patted the cat all over you looked around. You felt no collar around the cat’s neck and wondered who it could belong to. Thinking about what to do next, the cat started to rub itself around you. Bumping into you and almost pushing you out of balance. 

“Alright, alright”, you began patting it in earnest again. 

“So, how about I take you home with me for now and then just put up missing posters, hm? Is that a plan?”, you asked the cat. Meowing back at you, you took it as a yes to your plan. Inwardly you celebrated. The cat distribution system finally chose you! Maybe not for long but you now were in the possession of a new cuddly friend. You might not have anything at home but that could be easily fixed. This beautiful fellow also might not stick around for long but for however long you swore you would take the best care of him. Her? It? Right, you never ascertained which gender the cat had. Eh, whatever. As long as you didn't get attached to it and without much pain could give it away again, all was good. Right. Right? 

Future you will hate you for this decision. 

The cat stretched, walking around you once more and then pawing at your knees as if to beg to get picked up again. Opening your coat and scooping it up from the ground, you fulfilled the cat’s wishes. 

“My god. You are really friendly”, you mused to yourself and scratched the cat's head to which in return it purred even louder. 

Together you made your way out of the alley. The dumpster forgotten and your way home just a bit warmer. 

“Don’t run away, okay?”, you said softly to the cat before untangling it from your torso. On your track home it made itself very comfortable on you while you carried it. Its head often flitting from one place to another. You blamed the new height of perspective for the cat's behaviour. Couldn’t blame it, really. Imagine yourself getting hoisted up five times your own height and then carried around places that you never seen before. Now that would be an adventure. For the most part the breathing was calm so you didn’t worry that much. More surprised at the fact how the cat didn’t struggle once to get free. Just enjoying the free ride. 

Cat on the ground in front of the door of your apartment you dove one hand into your bag, trying to find your keys that you carelessly flung inside. With half an eye on the cat all the time. Not that it would decide in the last moment to make a run for it. Granted that it wouldn’t come far or could cats push open an apartment complex door? Probably not or the coincidence would just be big enough that one of your neighbors decided to go out in that exact moment as well. 

You shook your head off these thoughts. Cat was still on the ground and eyeing your door expectantly. Seemingly cat wasn’t even thinking about going anywhere but inside your apartment and here you were already thinking about all the different possible scenarios that would ensue when it ran away. Silly you. 

Key victoriously between your fingers you finally unlocked your home and cat dashed inside like the devil was after it. Puzzled you stood at your door for a bit. 

“Alright? Well…make yourself at home, I guess”, slowly trudging you went after it into your own four walls. Serotonin tingling your brain with the happiness that cat was very excited to explore its new home. 

Exhaustion slowly made itself apparent. Clawing at you and dragging your already tired body. Exhaustion and hunger but motivation wasn’t nowhere near you to make yourself food instantly. Cat on the other hand was curiously looking around. Taking in its new environment. Sniffing, patting around and jumping on shelves to get a better view. 

“Don’t throw it down, I swear to god”, you warned as you spotted cat near a vase with flowers inside. Body despite the sluggish feeling ready to jump to save the vase from its crashing end. Expertly the cat avoided the glass and danced around anything that was not stable. You let out a breath of relief. Automatically your body carried to your couch in the living room on which you rather unceremoniously slumped down on. Ah, finally home. 

_____

How the fuck did he get here? One moment he was in the deepspace tunnel, conducting a new mission and the next he had four paws. Trash surrounded him, it was fucking dark too. He could make out the sound of cars passing by and people walking on the street. Where was he? To his own surprise he wasn’t that cold until he realised that he had fur as well and when he tried to speak only a meow came out. In no way in hell did he turn into a cat, did he? No. What? 

In his moment of utter disorientation, a lid opened and a beautiful face peered down to him. Down? Ah, right. The cat thing. 

Caleb watched you fumble for your phone only to be blinded the very next moment by the harsh light of a phone flashlight. It took several blinks to get his bearing again. You reached out your hand to him. Now this was getting ridiculous. “Poor guy”? “How did he end up here”? Sweetheart, that's what he should be asking. Who the fuck are you anyway and why did you open up this-? Where was he? Is this a trash dumpster? Oh his fucking gods. If he could sigh in annoyance, he would. 

Caleb eyed your hand suspiciously. The smart move would be to take it. Considering everything, he couldn’t get out of this dumpster alone and what could be worse is that, tomorrow the dumpster could be emptied. Nor did he trust humanity enough that another friendly soul would come and pick him up or at least get him out. You were his only shot right now, even if he didn’t want to admit it. So? He sniffed you. Creepy in his own mind but he was a cat now. The least he could do was to make it look convincing. 

You pulled your hand closer to yourself as if to lure him out of his corner. As if he wouldn’t just go to you willingly. How long would he need to put up with this act? Irritation flared up within him. This is so beneath him. 

Scratch you? Yeah, why not actually? Instead he let him get picked up gently. Now was not the time to bite the hand that was feeding him.

The moment was faster over than he could comprehend. Swoop- and he was back on the ground. Caleb looked around. Alright, an alley and- you. In your full glory. Black pants, hair tied up, thick scarf around your neck, an open hanging coat and warm looking boots. Beautiful, pretty and cozy looking. Not a threat. A quick scan and he was certain you carried no gun. Not his worst choice, he thought. 

Let's make a run for it. What do cats normally do to get pity? Humans usually die to pet them. Swallowing his pride he went to you. Did he like to get touched? Sensitive question. If it would be his childhood friend, he wouldn’t mind but a complete stranger? In this form no less? God, that needed willpower and he was already running low because of this situation. Please let this all be a dream and he would wake up in a few moments in Skyhaven. 

“A home?”, yeah in the arms of someone else but that was not here. Just where in heaven sake was he? Get this over with, woman and just take him with you. 

Please, he meowed. Inwardly he sighed. Good lord…

Mercy was shown and you actually picked him up. Giddy and a happy smile on your face you wrapped him up in your coat. It was warm and against his own doing he began to purr at the sensation. Okay so maybe this wasn’t as bad as he imagined. Distracted a bit and sleep pulling at him, he let himself enjoy this small reprieve for a bit. 

Lights flitted by behind his eyelids and he looked around. First fact? This is not Linkon nor Skyhaven. Second, he didn’t recognise anything. If this was in fact a dream, his subconsciousness was running wild today. The only thing grounding him was you. Your warmth, your soothing touch and your somewhat familiar scent that he confused with that of MC. It wasn’t as overwhelming or confusing when he could nuzzle up to you for now. Just shortly, only for a bit. To get his mind back on track, you know? 

The walk you both took, well- you took with him being carried, was not long lived. You said something but he didn’t pay any attention. Something something not running away something something. Where would he go anyway? For christ sake he was a cat right now. First thing he needs to get rid off anyway. Second thing was to get back home. Like home. Once more begging to the skies above that this was a dream. A very vivid one. Caleb couldn't decide if this was a nightmare or not. Was he maybe more exhausted than he wanted to admit? Did he have an accident on his expedition and was now in a coma? Please let it be just that. Maybe also just cognitive training done by Ever. What does he know? 

He heard keys jiggling, a soft clicking of a lock falling back and then a door opening. The ash-brown haired man…uh cat made a run for it. Into the apartment! He stopped in his tracks to get everything in. Analysing your furniture and layout. There was one floor length window that opened up to a small, cozy balcony. A couch in an open space that he guessed was your living room. With a TV mounted to the opposite side of the couch. A lengthy cupboard underneath. On it a few nick-nacks: a charger cable connected to a tablet, a switch console and a bunch of books. The couch itself was decorated with plushies and cushions rounded up with a throw blanket. Some of the walls accented by warm pastel colours to widen the otherwise small space. He peered down one corridor and made out two doors. Guessing one of them was a bathroom and the other your own. 

Caleb inspected your walls. The one on the far end and left of the couch was more bookshelf than wall. Filled up almost to the brim but he spotted also there nick-nacks in between. He jumped on the couch arm and continued on another shelf. Slowly getting closer to your kitchen area. Once more he heard you say something. Bla bla not throwing down something. He had half a mind to fuck with you, but again not the opportunity to bite the hand that feeds him. Curious what you meant in the first place he looked back and felt the vase against his body. God it was so weird to see his fluffy legs and a tail too. Dirt clung to the fur and he wondered what he did before he regained his consciousness in that dumpster. But better not test what it would take to make you throw him out back on the street. For all he could know, you could be the one with answers. If not, he could still leave. 

Rustling and then a dull thumb. Caleb once more looked back. You all but collapsed on your couch and let out a sigh. Tiredness was written all over your face. Your body practically radiated exhaustion. The ash-brown cat didn’t notice before but how could he? Way too immersed in his own problems. Nonetheless were you kind enough to pick him up. Brave enough to go into that spooky alley. Hell, he wouldn’t have. Not without a gun at least. You also were nice enough to carry him here. Not once complaining. If he dares to say, happy to have him with you. Just as warm as he was. Disregarding that he smelled like the trash he lay in.

Suddenly you moved, like you just remembered something important. As if possessed you scrambled up and reached for your tablet. Okay? 

Back to discovering your place he left you to your own devices. 

Noises sprung from your tablet. An interesting melody and a woman singing. Just what were you doing? Playing a game? Well, he was done looking at your kitchen that was, well what could be interesting about a kitchen? It was a kitchen. Jumping from the counter to your table and back on the ground he tapped over to you. One last jump on the couch right next to you. What he saw next made his breath hitch. 

There she was. His childhood friend. On the screen…with another guy? Did you just took pictures of her with another man? Who was he? Some dude with white hair and a pose slung around his childhood friend. They looked happy together. Frozen in time for the picture. What is going on? Did you know her? How could you do this? How- what? How did you take pictures of her? Switching her poses like that? But why did it look so much like a game? Like a 3D rendering of her? What was going on? 

But as soon as he needed to process what he saw, your fingers deftly moved over the screen and collected some rewards in an…event? What? Huh? 

“Is it a new bug? Why can’t I select Caleb?”, you mumbled to yourself. Completely oblivious to the distress ball that he was right now. To your own confusion you couldn’t do anything with Caleb in your game besides recalling the memories you have obtained of him. 

The head of just mentioned man reared. What was happening? Did you know him? What was this game? Who are you? What is happening?! 

Enough, he jumped on your tablet. 

“What the- ey!”, you exclaimed and he just meowed back. That's what he wanted to yell right now. What was going on?! Answer him! 

“You can’t just- get off!”, you giggled. Not taking his jumbling, confusing emotions and obvious distress seriously. 

Okay, different approach. He quickly needed a different approach. Before he could come up with anything you picked him up once more and placed him beside you. Damn him right now for being nothing but an eight pound raging ball of fur. Take him seriously, god damn it! Caleb began to meow again and cursed inside his thoughts. One paw on your tablet, but you giggled again. 

“What is it? You also want to play?”, you smiled at him, picked him up. Again. Woman, do it one more time and he is going to forget his rational part about him and would really bite you. He needed answers and not pats. Oh- okay. You placed him on your lap. The tablet on your knees so he could have a good view of it. 

“Should I explain it to you?”, you continued on and began showing him everything the game had to offer. Beginning with talking with four different men, battling wanderers in bounty hunting or abyssal chaos up to the “main story”, as you called it, until the memories you collected of said four men. Him included as the fifth. What? Without thinking he raised his paw on “falling for you” and selecting himself. Not half a fuck given that he gave himself away, that he was, in fact, not a cat. That's the whole point though, wasn't it? He was a man! Not a damn cat! He was stuck here. God knows where and you! You just playing with her life, with his! With his life like it was a game?! 

These were…all his, well some of them anyway, memories he had with MC. The childhood friend he tried to protect at all costs. Given that his methods weren’t always as pure as he wanted them to be but more often than not necessary. All splayed out for your eyes to see and…rekindle them? Watch them over and over? Relive them?

“Do you like him?”, you asked in a soft voice and he turned to look at you. Totally not caring that he, a cat, was patting on your tablet with human like intelligence. Were you that tired? Half asleep already? 

Like him? He was him! How could he tell you that? So that you would explain further. Maybe he could figure out this way how he got here. Wrecking his brain he tried to come up with anything. Fuck it. Fucking dip this cat shit. Even more so than he already has. How blaringly obvious did he need to be? For your rather slow mind to comprehend what he means. 

Trying to figure out how to show you, tell you or rather scream at you that this 3D rendering of him was he, he put a paw on his image and then on his furry body. As well as he could at least. Which in result was him patting his image then getting up, sitting on his hind legs and putting his paw on his torso area. Caleb begged to the skies above that you understood his message but to his dismay you looked at him puzzled. Oh his fucking gods…

Alright. Different approach. This was taking all of his patience and he barely had none. 

Once more he put one paw on his image that beneath showed a short video out of the perspective of what he only could guess was MC. He didn’t want to think too long about it. Focus. Again he raised his other paw and put it on his chest. This time though he meowed and looked at you imploringly. Please, please let this be enough so you put two and two together. But even he realised that this was rather far-fetched and if this same thing would happen to him, neither would he understand what a cat would try to tell him. 

“What is it? Why-”, and then you looked at the screen that froze over the memory. “Hm?”

Oh my god, did you understand? Please! 

You looked past his small frame and he could see the thoughts behind your eyes. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, he was Caleb! Come on. Give him answers!

“Nah”, you giggled. Not knowing what you might have said he just nodded with his head. 

“His name is Caleb, should I call you that as well?”, you thought out loud and stroked down from his head to his back. 

No! Yes, his name was Caleb but no! God fucking damn it. Just how was he supposed to tell you that Caleb was well- him. He was Caleb. The same man, now a cat in this universe, that you saw on that screen. Distraught, he wrecked his brain. Unfortunate for him there was no book or briefing or training he could have done to prepare him for playing charades as a cat. “How weird would it be if I named you after a otome game video character?”, you sighed. “God, I must be very lonely to even be considering that.” Maybe, but not the point here, woman. You could question your terrible life choices another time but right now, he needed you to figure out his image riddle!

~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*

Henlo, to everybody that made it all the way down here! I plan on making this a multi part story, so stay tunned! If anybody has some cat involved stuff and want to see it here, don't be too shy to tell me about it <3

Thank you for reading, beautiful soul

[jedi-bird]

So, I have lived in a house where we had to hide any evidence that we lived there, a house where we hid certain things, and a house currently where I value functionality over looks. Guess which one makes me happiest and actually makes my life easier?

I also used to be a custodian (fancy word for janitor but also meant I did a lot more than clean) at a very big theme park, and the rules there were basically "people cannot know we clean". And honestly, that one I agreed with. People are stupid at theme parks. They seem to forget common sense a lot and are only focused on fun and do the weirdest shit, so cleaning up around them always made me feel like a ninja who was challenged with being faster than they were.

Trash cans were hidden in plain sight. They were enclosed in decorative cases but were also placed so you never really had to go more than 20 to 30 feet to find one. And recycling cans were always next to them. We wiped them down constantly and should swap them out occasionally to fully scrub them out (the liners were switched out much more often and fully scrubbed and cleaned). The recycling was sorted out in the back by us, wearing puncture proof gloves up to our elbows, long plastic aprons, and face shields. I laugh every time Hell's Kitchen uses recycling day as a punishment because that was a daily chore for me and I loved it. And yes, half our recycling wasn't meant to go in those cans which is why we had to do it.

Cleaning supplies are kept behind the scenes away from the public. We would bring out what we needed as needed except for heavy equipment or things with cords unless an area was closed off. Why? Because the number of times I would be trying to clean things like vomit of the floors, while other workers were blocking it off, only to have people come barging in to stand right in the mess to ask me (the one wearing multiple gloves and wiping up what was essentially a biohazard) to take their picture. Yeah. I didn't get paid enough for that.

Restrooms were cleaned in plain sight without closing them, so you learned to just quietly fit in and not make eye contact (unless you felt like a showdown, which honestly was fun with certain people). You learned to dart quickly when a stall opened and block it off with the cart. You learned to have eyes in the back of your head so that you could stop people from picking things up off your cart. We were taught the safest ways to mop (one hand always on the top of the handle as a cap, because it was better to punch someone accidentally then to jam a wooden stake in their eye).

Most people never noticed us unless we stopped doing our jobs. So please thank you janitors because you'd be miserable without them.

That being said, at home I operate very differently. There is a small trash can in every room. Sometimes two. Each one of open and next to where my partner works or sits (I keep one next to me when I craft a well but that one moves around a bit). I wish I had room for a bigger one in the bathroom, but I don't so I just have to change it more often.

Cleaning supplies get stored by use. Daily items like paper towels, sanitizing wipes, and other frequently used items (depends on the room) are kept close at hand. In the bathroom, that's on a narrow shelf along the wall; kitchen is between the stove and the table in front of a cabinet; living room next to the front door. Supplies for deep cleaning are kept slightly out of sight. Not because I don't want people to know we live here but for safety reasons. Being raised by my grandparents, I'm very big on keeping walkways clear and surfaces to steady yourself with. So those are organized into carrying baskets by type of clean up and kept in the upstairs cabinet for the upstairs and on a shelf at the back of the kitchen for downstairs. Brooms and mops are hung on hooks from the walls behind the back door downstairs and in the cabinet upstairs (yes, I have double the supplies, because I'm more likely to clean if I don't have to keep going back and forth for things). There is a recycling can on each floor because it's easier and I refuse to sort trash here.

There is a sort of table near the front door for partner's things because they need them to be visible, and all their snacks and frequently used items are organized by use in open shelving. Our house in messy and that's okay; I'm in the process of making it an organized mess that we both can live with. But yeah, you know we live here and keep it functional. It's not revolutionary to keep trash cans in the open or bowls on tables for keys or tables by doors. It's just one person's version of normal and helpful. Honesty, just play around with storage ideas and see what works best for you in terms of use and happiness (and don't think you need to spend a lot of money, most of my things are repurposed in the beginning while I test things and sometimes never change).

On one hand, it's great to see people learn how to unfuck their living spaces. On the other hand, that stuff like "frequently used articles should be stored near where they're used" and "trash receptacles should be placed near activities that generate trash" are being received as radical ideas points to a serious knowledge transmission problem.

[tanadrin]

So like, given that the judiciary is useless and the legislature is useless, what do you recommend Americans do? What mechanism do you think protest will be able to activate, other than starting a violent rebellion?

"constitutional government is in the process of breaking down" does not mean "there is nothing the legislature and judiciary can do."

look, all rule of law is kayfabe to some extent, right? the reason it works is that the systems that operate according to its rules have legitimacy, some degree of abstract popular support that means that people broadly obey the decisions of institutions, and where there's strong disagreement about those decisions, the body of people empowered de jure or de facto to settle those disagreements (which includes, but is not limited to, the people with actual social sanction to use violence) care about upholding the system.

but politics did not begin in 1788 with the invention of modern constitutional government, it is not confined to republican systems of power, and it does not occur solely within the realms of electoral politics, judicial process, and legislative sessions. all these things proceed from politics, and did not create it. coalition-building, popular discontent, divisions among factions of elites, and all these other fuzzy things which are hard to pin down in hard data like approval poll numbers matter--they matter to the extent that they have overthrown kings and dictators throughout history, and are in fact responsible for the republican government under which you live.

the actions of the legislature and the judiciary still matter a lot, because they still have different degrees of legitimacy to different groups within the country. it sucks that decades of the convergence of various factors have hollowed out mass political organizing in the united states, so it's hard to mobilize people for substantive action (protests of the sort where you can actually demand things, instead of just vibe on the National Mall), but even though this shit is harder to do effectively, i think even protests still matter! calling your congresscritters to yell at them still matters--especially if they are a Republican member of the House.

and now i'm gonna get a little bit mean, and i apologize for this in advance, but here's the thing: i have been getting a lot of asks lately about "what should people do." and i am just some asshole on tumblr. this is not even an advice blog. at a certain point in life you have to acquire an orientation to the world which is "i may not know the answer to this question, but i i know i can find it out, or i know i can try to find it out, and if that doesn't work i can keep trying." lotta people online right now seem to have this attitude of helplessness. they are waiting for someone with authority to give them a definitive answer about what to do and how to fix things. these answers do not exist. all there is in this life is varying degrees of individuals deciding that they will try something, and hopefully in the process link up with other individuals who are also trying something and maybe have some advice to share.

this isn't just about politics, by the way; this is an attitude that i think it is necessary for all adults to acquire at some point, if they want to avoid feeling helpless and eventually resentful. the world is not a thing happening to you; it is a thing you are inside and can affect. i have my own opinions on what i'd like to see people doing right now, sure--and some of those things are things only, say, members of the house of representatives can do--but i'm not VI fuckin' Lenin here posting from Switzerland in anticipation of leading the revolution when i return. i don't know where you live or what your situation is or who you know. you must, at a certain point, feel a sense of responsibility and duty toward your own community and to your society, and act commensurately.

[lemotmo]

Ryan gave same answer to buddie question he is been giving from the moment bi buck was canon. He didn’t say in same words like Eddie is straight and buck Eddie are brothers but he did say the same in so many words like friendship between straight and queer characters is an important storyline and that’s priority than anything else

I always try to ignore interviews especially Ryan’s answers to buddie questions as what they think is not important and what the show is trying to show is important. But at this point I am not really sure if I should trust the show as Ryan is the one playing Eddie and his answer at this point of time is same and not even vague like let’s see where the script goes or I am ok with what ever the story takes. Just don’t know what to expect at this point

To be clear I am not saying Ryan is homophonic or anything, he seems like a kind person who treats everyone equally and with respect. But with all his answers in interviews, I get a feeling like he is not so much comfortable with playing a gay character (for what ever reason I don’t know and I don’t question or judge people choices as it doesn’t harm any real people).

If Eddie is still straight by 8.14 or 15, I don’t have much hope

Nonny, all do respect, but I have to ask this:

Why did you bring this to my blog? You must have seen my enthusiasm about Ryan's latest interview and how it has only strenghtened my conviction that Buddie is going canon. So why would you post this here when you already know what I'm going to tell you?

I also don't understand your reaction here. I've been in this fandom for years now and I've never been more confident that it's going canon than now. Before season 7 I never even thought Buddie would get a fighting chance.

What did you expect Ryan to say in this interview? 8b hasn't aired yet, so he can't disclose any of the upcoming storylines. He was always going to rehash some of his earlier answers from previous interviews, because what else could he possibly answer?

The inevitable Buddie question came and -once again- he had to find a way to answer it without spoiling anything. What could he possibly have said? He can't just come out and say that Buddie is going canon at this point, because it hasn't happened yet.

So he said the only thing he could say, the message that no matter who you are and who you love in life, it's important to support each other. Which is a beautiful message in itself.

He isn't saying anything else than Oliver did in his pre-biBuck days. It's the same 'trying to talk about it, but not allowed to say anything' kind of thing. 🤷‍♀️

And what about the question where Ryan was asked what advice he would give Eddie? His answer was so telling. It hinted at Eddie not being straight in such a profound way. That was basically the only thing he could say when it comes to Eddie's sexuality storyline.

The man's hands were and are tied. They have been for a long time. And no, he isn't afraid to play a gay man. How do I know this? Because he has actually played a gay man before in another project. He also talked about, on multiple times, the fact that he would be all for Buddie if the story would go there. Those are not the words of a man who doesn't want to play a gay man.

If he really wouldn't want to play a gay man, he would just state it out loud. He would say something like 'Yeah, the Buddie thing is a really fun thing. Oliver and me joke about it, but it isn't going to happen. Eddie is very straight and he will never be interested in Buck like that.' BAM! Just like that he would make it clear to everyone that he isn't willing to play that part and it isn't happening.

Now, if you want an example of an interview by someone who really doesn't want to play a gay character, but had no other choice because it was the only job he could get? Look no further and Google one of Lou Fjr's unhinged interviews where he talks about how he doesn't think it's always appropriate for two characters to make out on screen, but that rule only seems to apply to male/male relationships. He never seemed to have any issues with making out with women on screen before. 🙄

But anyway, let's not get distracted here by talking about that man and let's get back onto the subject of Ryan's interview.

I know that I probably won't be able to change your mind on this Nonny and I'm not even going to attempt it, because in all honesty? I'm tired of all the nay-saying and the inevitable spiral of fear that happens every single time when something happens in this fandom.

I don't know what you want? I've been in so many fandoms, shipping ships that NEVER became canon even though they should have. There was always subtext of course, but that's where it ended. The rest of the story we (the fandom) had to build up from scratch.

For Buddie though--

This isn't just about subtext anymore Nonny. This is fullblown TEXT! It's all there in the show, in the PR, in the interviews, in social media, in Family Fued and Jeopardy! What more could you possibly want?

If you don't believe it by now? There is nothing I can say or do to convince you, so you will just have to wait and see as the episodes air.

Tell you what though--

I predict that we will find out about Eddie's sexuality sometime before or at the very last in episode 8x15. Bold statement, I know. But I feel very confident about this. Oh and Buck? I'm willing to bet that all of his spiraling will finally lead to him realising he is in love with Eddie and this will be shown to us even sooner than Eddie's coming out.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now excuse me while I go bask in the glory of the impending promise that is Buddie canon. 😏

[sulumuns-dootah]

Hello and can i ask if its okay for a request? If its okay, I read your ‘WHB Characters meeting their Obey me counterparts’ and got the idea…

What if the WHB Kings meeting Diavolo from Obey me?

Or WHB Angels & Angels from Obey me? (you can choose one or make a request or not, if you like)

Thank you in advance

WHB kings meeting prince Diavolo

⟡ Masterlist ⟡

A/N: Hi! I actually wrote the Seraphims meeting their OM! version in the second part of OM! meeting WHB ^^ (Took me a while but I'm back, babey!)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Oh hey, this future king of Hell isn't as scary as Satan expected

Actually, he kinda reminds him of Mammon in a way

With the whole golden retriver energy

On the other hand, Diavolo is intruqued with Satan's biker persona

Don't tell Barbatos, but he might buy a bike too and ride it while Barbatos is busy with chores around the castle

       ༺☆༻

These two get along really well

I already mentioned that they're really similar so lemme talk about it a bit more

They both have their royal manners, but still try to reach out to their people from their privileged pedestal

Also, they don't take anything much seriously

Like you could spill a whole gallon of soup on them and they'll ask if you're okay and then laugh it all off

       ༺☆༻

I really hope that Diavolo doesn't have any expectations based on the brothers

Leviathans couldn't be the furthest from each other so I doubt Diavolo would be able to befriend Levi by cosplaying Ruri-chan for him

At first he'll be his cheery self, but after Levi responds in a luke-warm way, he'll pretty much shut himself off

Leviathan, being Leviathan, doesn't wanna have anything to do with some other king of Hell

Will even try to start a competition about whose Barbatos is the better servant (OM!Barbatos wins, sorry)

       ༺☆༻

Oh but these two will hit it off nicely

Chaos ensues

Might be the frist time where Diavolo has to be the one to stop shenanigans from spiralling out of control

Please do make sure that Beel doesn't find out about Diavolo's fear of pickled vegetables, or he might end up chasing him around the castle (like that video of that one woman who was terrified of olives)

       ༺☆༻

Given what happened with OM!Belphegor did, Diavolo is a bit vary while meeting Belphie

Though, his fears are pretty much calmed when he finds out that this guy can't go an hour or so without falling asleep

He really admires how Nifleheim manages to not descent into chaos and definitely wants to try and implement some of the rules in the Devildom

Belphegor didn't even realise that someone new was in the room

Will probably ask Beleth if he changed up his style and tell him that red is not his color and that he should just keep the suit he wears normally

       ༺☆༻

Okay, Diavolo is scared

Like geniunelly terrified

He will actually refuse to be around Asmo for an extended period of time

Just hearing all the stories about him is enough

And even if he didn't, the smell would speak for Asmo enough

On Asmo's end, you already know he'd be down (who wouldn't he be for tho?)

Depending on the look that Diavolo would be in, different things would turn him on about him

       ༺☆༻

Lucifer saddens him

To what extent are the kings and the brothers different? Do they carry similar mindsets and feelings? If so, he really needs to have a long conversation with OM!Lucifer

Lucifer, on the other hand, is finally happy to find out who tf the Diavolo guy is

For some reason he kept thinking about it after having met his OM! self who would constantly only talk about him

Lucifer likes him, overall ^^

[apricotbuncakes]

[ID: Screenshot of Tumblr tags that read "#sigh this is the universe sending me a message (I'm on day 8 of binding for like 13 hours every day) #and i wonder why it hurts to breath #aaaaaaa #gender shit" End ID]

Ooooookaaaaaaah, big brother time.

So. Here are some things that I have learned to help me not bind as much. Note how I didn't claim this will make you less dysphoric. These won't work for everyone, but they did work for me.

1) Use neutral language about your breasts. Not like gender neutral language (though that may help too). What I mean is don't use negative language like "I hate my chest" or "my chest is bad". Yes I know those phrases are basic. But framing your chest in a neutral way may help you to not see it as a chore that needs maintained constantly and may help you feel less guilty about not binding or 'preforming' your gender (aka: presenting in a way that others expect).

2) Remember that you don't owe anyone a certain look or level of effort from your body. Not binding because it hurts and or you can't/don't want to doesn't mean you 'aren't trying hard enough' or 'aren't really trans'. If anyone tells you otherwise, they're a fucking dick who doesn't care about your health and you shouldn't care about them or their opinion. Your health and safety is more important than the approval of some dick whose allyship is conditional to you being the perfect tranny for them. And I mean that with all the love I'm my heart: If someone thinks you performing their ideal version of you is more important than you being safe and healthy, They 👏 Don't 👏 Deserve 👏 Your 👏 Love 👏 Or 👏 Attention! 👏 👏 👏

3) Don't bind at home in your room. Get used to being topless in your room. Literally, I've been topless in my room since my second year of highschool. I actually get a sense of euphoria from not having to wear a shirt in an environment where it's completely legal to do so. It's part of how I reframed how I look at my chest. I no longer hate myself for having a large chest, though I know I'll still feel so much happier when I have top surgery next month.

4) Have a 'lazy' binder. For me, that's a 'binder' that is loose and comfortable. It doesn't necessarily 'bind' me, but it's not a bra either. Ideally you have a nice binder and a lazy binder, but if you can only afford one, a loose tank top can also substitute as a lazy binder for you to wear under your shirts. This lazy binder is for you to put on when you can't bind 'properly' but you still need your brain to accept that you've 'put in the effort'. It's a lot less restrictive, but still provides enough support that your chest doesn't feel completely exposed.

5) Convince yourself that other people are just unobservant. Make a list of qualities that you consider gender affirming, and if someone misgenders you, think of that list and tell yourself "Pssh! That person is so dumb for not noticing [list of gender affirming qualities] that clearly signal I'm [gender identity here]." Don't remind yourself that you aren't binding or punish yourself for not 'doing better'. Just pretend that other people are ignoring the very obvious signs of you being your gender. (Literally, this has prevented me from crying at work).

6) If you can't take off your binder (because you're at work or school or wherever), try putting it on later in the day instead of trying to take it off before your event is scheduled to end. Wear extra layers when you go to wherever it is and then slip off the the bathroom to put it on. That way you don't use some of your binding time during the commute to the event.

Or if you're like me, get really good at putting on your binder under your clothes. You probably shouldn't be able to do that, but some people are also broke like me and can't afford to get a new binder every time the old one gets a little stretched out. I get it.

Final reminder that your health and safety is just as important as your joy and euphoria. Binders are a tool to help us achieve euphoria, but like any other tool they can hurt you when used incorrectly. Take care of yourself. Listen to your body.

This is coming from someone who learned too little too late that binding incorrectly will seriously hurt you. I can barely bind for more than a couple hours now without feeling some kind of discomfort, and some days I can't bind at all because it just hurts that bad to wear a binder. Do not follow in my footsteps. Please take better care of yourself than I did.

Fact #1047: The advice to not bind your chest for more than 8 hours at the time is not some transphobic conspiracy to foce you to experience dysphoria. It is advice given to you for your own safety. As mentally uncomfortable it might be to be without a binder, physically you need to give your ribcage a break.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 59

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Scar's pov*

You never really liked hospitals, they are empty and dull and white and you go there only when something bad happens... Never a pleasant experience, you of all people have bad memories of them...

This time It's really silent too, the association pulled all the steps to keep Grian far from other patients, maybe to prevent his identity being discovered by someone wandering around.

Cub stops you in front of the door right before you can enter.

"Before we go in, Altostratus and Ocean Queen don't know Cuteguy's identity"

You forgot about that, you didn't even consider it... you feel awful, you got distracted and- not the time, you'll feel bad later, you can just ask Grian what he wants to do...yeah.

Altostratus crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "And?"

You are the one to speak up this time around. "A-and the choice to reveal his identity is still his" Your words get caught up on eachother a bit but they must understand what you are trying to say.

"So, I'm going with Cub to ask him if he wants to do it." That should be ok right?

Altostratus goes to say something but is shushed by his wife (You are still shocked about that and no, you will not let this go, how did no one notice??). She nods in his place and hits him the head slightly when he tries to protest...

You open the door and step in, there is a corridor in front of you and at the end of it is Grian's room, as you do you hear Ocean Queen call Altostratus a "Nincompoop" from behind the door...you have no idea what that means and at this point you don't think you even want to ask.

Grian is waiting for you, you don't really question how he knew you were coming, as far as you know he just has been waiting like that for hours... You hope he hasn't done that. Maybe he just heard you! That makes more sense! You didn't really care about the noise you made so he must have noticed when you and Cub came in.

"Scar! Cub! Finally!"

He's excited? You of course It's good that he's doing good of, that's the most important thing, butbyou didn't expect this from someone who just woke up from almost dying. You just don't know how to feel, you expected him to be angry or sad or something, more then that it feels like you don't deserve to see him so happy since he got hurt because of you being careless.

"You can't believe how bored I was! Here all alone ... waiting!"

He was...bored? The room is mostly empty except for some medical machine stuff, that does seem like it would be pretty boring. You are wondering if your thought about him waiting for you the whole time might actually be what happened- Wait, you need to say something, you are usually a lot better at talking over thinking.

"Well, eh...no time to be bored with me here. And I brought friends!"

Cub nods and adds "They are heroes...but still, seeing them would have you reveal their identity to them, Scar insisted we ask you first. I agree with him."

...

Grian looks thoughtful, this is probably a really big choice for him so you understand he might need some time to make the choice-

"Sounds good to me!"

Nevermind! That was a bit fast though, you hope he doesn't feel like he has too.

"Are you sure Grian? You can say no, no one is-"

"Nah! I'm sure, bring them in! I wanted to meet the others for a while now anyway."

Oh. Oh? Oh! Well, that's good news then Cub nods again and leaves to get the others... Hopefully they'll get along well.

...

Well this is weird, Altostratus and Grian are just staring at eachother. Like they know eachother already??? I mean, Altostratus is a top hero so it makes sense for Grian to know OF him but this feels different, like they met face to face.

But you would know if something like that happened right? Grian would have definitely told you. Cub beats you to it though, you aren't surprised he noticed it too, he's very smart about these things.

"Do you two know eachother already?"

The two answer at the same time, Grian with a no and Altostratus with a yes....Ok so, something strange is definitely going on here, you akwardly look between the two. For a second Grian looks actually angry???? Frustrated at least. You don't think you ever seen him make an expression like that, it disappears immediately but you can swear it was there.

. . . Huh

*End of Chapter 11*

[drvirgus]

Glow

Danielle X Reader

Description: Despite your initial distrust of Dani's relentless optimism, you discover that having someone as bright as Dani in your life is exactly what you need.

Warnings: insults; trauma; harsh words; foul language; kys/kms jokes; naughty jokes; drinking; smoking;

Chapter 27: Alone

Masterlist

———————————————————————————

Yn didn't know what was wrong.

She just felt alone.

After spending time with Jihye and her family, she had felt so comfortable. They had listened to her—truly listened. No one had interrupted her, no one had ignored her.

At first, she had been unsure about their whole family dynamic. It was so unfamiliar to her. But after a while, she realized it wasn't fake or forced—it was just how they were.

And after that night, her own home felt even emptier. Even when her family was right there...

Maybe that was why she had never understood familial bonds the way others did. She didn't understand why someone would go out of their way, take the fall, or make sacrifices just because it was their brother or sister.

She just didn't get it.

She felt closer to her friends than she ever did to her family.

"So what exactly did Roberto do?" her brother asked, barely suppressing his laughter.

Yn looked at him, confused. "Who's Roberto?"

No one answered.

She frowned, waiting for the joke to end. But even when the laughter had died down, no one acknowledged her question.

"Who's Roberto?" she repeated, her voice sharper this time. But again, she was ignored.

With an irritated sigh, she simply nodded to herself and reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table. She lit one without thinking twice.

It was unbelievable what people could get used to.

Cigarette smoke was harmful. Everyone knew that. It burned the lungs, scratched the throat, left you short of breath. Especially in the beginning. But even pain was something humans could adapt to.

Just like the feeling of being ignored.

"And Yn? What grade are you in again?" her mother asked casually.

Yn's mouth fell open slightly, stunned by the question.

She was actually asking that?

"Mom, she's in eighth grade." her brother groaned before she could answer, like he was bored of the conversation already.

"I'm not in eighth grade," Yn corrected, exhaling smoke as she took another drag. She opened her mouth to say what grade she was actually in, but before she could, her mother had already turned to start a conversation with her other daughter.

Yn let out a short, bitter breath through her nose.

So different from Jihye's family.

"I'm student council president," Yn said, louder this time, forcing their attention back to her.

For a moment, there was silence. Then, they just looked at her with vague confusion.

"Oh wow," her mother finally said. "That must be stressful, right?"

A small smile crept onto Yn's lips, ready to talk about her role.

"Stressful?" her sister scoffed before she could even respond. She let out a dry, mocking laugh as she put out her cigarette in the ashtray. "She doesn't even know real stress. What I go through? That's what real stress looks like." She gestured dramatically at herself. “Yn could never handle my life.”

Yn's jaw tightened.

You have no idea.

You don't know anything about me.

Just stop talking.

I hate this.

I hate you.

Selfish, narcissistic bitch.

Her mind was full of thoughts—too full. But not a single word left her lips.

Because it wouldn't change anything.

In the end, she would be the bad guy. It would be her fault when her sister started slamming doors or smashing glass.

It was never the actual culprit's fault.

Makes sense, right?

Yn was good at one thing: running away.

Just like now. She put out her cigarette, stood up from the kitchen table, and stretched with an exaggerated yawn.

"I'm going to bed," she muttered.

Most of them just nodded and continued their conversations.

"Oh, Yn—what about dinner?" her mother called just as she reached the door.

"Not hungry, thanks."

“Ugh, of course you’re not,” her brother scoffed. “Always so dramatic.”

“Jesus, just eat and stop acting so special,” her sister muttered, rolling her eyes.

Yn didn’t even react. She just walked away.

And just like that, she was gone.

Alone.

Even when she was surrounded by her family.

Well… maybe except for her mother.

———————————————————————————

Taglist: @sixflame438 @saysirhc @illithharmony @somedaydream @yuyuy90 @wonyoungssi @peranoo @gornoi @multiliker @wtfisthisnoclueman @prologue-ae @he------len @tormaa1

[certifiedsexed]

Hi,

I think I’ve experienced CoSA but when I first opened up about it to my then psychologist, she said what happened to me is a normal part of childhood sexual development and the sooner I understand and internalize that, the better. That it was only my own shame that made it feel like it was traumatic. She made me feel like I’ve overreacted and I shouldn’t even have brought it up in therapy. I almost felt scolded by her. She didn’t even let me finish the story, she just cut me off and started ranting. I’ve been very ashamed of the whole situation ever since and sometimes it feels like I must have made up the whole thing and even when I told my partner I felt like I was “appropriating serious trauma” and “faking”. Is that even possible?

The things he did also don’t feel “enough” to count as sexual abuse. Even if I’d never tell that to anybody else.

I’m so lost on how to move on from this situation, since I haven’t been able to bring this up to other mental health professionals because I don’t think I can take the situation with her repeating and it’s so difficult to find good providers to begin with.

Hi!

I'm so, so sorry you had to experience that, Anon. Your psychologist's response sounds inappropriate on several different levels (interrupting you, dismissing your feelings, ranting to you about it), that's awful. 💕

I know its so hard to open up about things like that and for her to not even let you finish and use what sounds like victim-blaming rhetoric to shut you down is devastating.

I'll say upfront, I don't know what happened to you specifically. But I do know people who went through trauma, especially sexual trauma, often feel like they're faking and/or their trauma isn't real/serious. That doesn't mean it isn't real or "enough" to actually be traumatic.

I'll also say, it's not "faking" or "appropriation" to be upset or feel traumatized by something and its definitely not faking to tell your partner about something that happened to you. You did not make it up, which means you are not faking shit.

Treat yourself as if you are someone else.

If someone else, let's say your partner, told you they experienced exactly what you experienced and that they were worried they'd been sexually assaulted, what would you say? What would you think?

I don't know you, but I suspect you wouldn't react as aggressively as your psychologist did. I suspect you would have an entirely different perspective and you would, at the very least, be respectful and kind about it.

I understand the fear of talking to another therapist/psychologist about it. The struggle to find good mental health professionals is dire, tbh.

(I hope you are no longer with the psychologist who treated you like that because that's unacceptable.)

I don't know if you want advice on that front but I would suggest while you obviously don't have to talk about it again if you're not comfortable, if you find someone that you think you might be able to discuss it with, I'd ask some questions first!

Tell them you're scared to tell them something that happened to you because people have reacted badly before. Ask them what they'd do if you told them something that you felt traumatized/hurt you and they thought "wasn't really traumatizing".

Ask them if they have patients/experience with sexual abuse, childhood in particular.

Hell, if it helps, see if your partner can stick with you when/if you ever decide to discuss it with someone else again. Whatever helps.

Hope this helps, Anon. Let me know if you have any other questions. <33

[bonehead-cat]

*disclaimer, i don’t argue online so this will probably be the only time i do this.

If the label isn't helpful to you you don't have to use it, even if your experience would fit within the definition.

since you say that one doesn’t have to use “agender” to describe themselves because they don’t personally find it helpful, would you also say that one doesn’t have to use “cisgender” to describe themselves for the same reason? additionally, do you think it’s valid for one to be uncomfortable with being referred to with a label that ascribes to a belief that that person doesn’t believe in?

Honestly, every word used to talk about this "internal gender" I mentioned is just labels. In a world where we've successfully abolished sociatal gender, there may not be any labels at all for these experiences. Certainly not the current labels of "man", "woman", "non binary", "genderfluid" and all the million and one other words that exist out there.

the conclusion that “well technically everything is an ascribed label so none of it really matters” tends to be destructive to any arguments had. we wouldn’t be able to have a discussion about anything, let alone be able to communicate with any language if we shut down every conversation with “well it’s all just labels so it doesn’t matter.” labels certainly do matter if you want to argue definitions for words like “agender.”

in a post-gender abolition society, the concepts of “man” and “woman” would still exist because they refer to the material reality of, in the case of a man, being an adult human male, and in the case of a woman, being an adult human female. if suddenly every english-speaker decided to refer to women as “wompyn,” then texan wompyn still wouldn’t have abortion rights, because the law is based on their material being, not the sole label of “woman.”

You don't have to believe an "internal sense of gender" exists to respect that other people do. And that many people who believe in it's existence can separate it from the sociatal form of gender that is objectively harmful. Same way as you can criticise organised religion as an atheist while respecting individual's rights to their own spiritual beliefs.

i completely agree! and i would hope that you’d also agree that unfalsifiable, faith-based beliefs should not be lawfully enforced upon nonbelievers. if you agree with that, then you understand the ethical contention feminists, gender critical people, and apolitical people have with gender ideology being employed in law-making.

I don't think I can explain my internal sense of gender to you because you don't have one. Same way as I wouldn't be able to explain the colour red to someone with achromatic vision. Or explain the smell of strawberries to someone who was born without a sense of smell. I'm aroace, and have never had someone successfully explain what attraction feels like to me because I don't feel it, and cannot conceptualise that feeling.

actually, you can describe color to a color-blind person, and you can also describe scent to one who can’t smell, because they are material concepts, not abstract concepts. the explanation may be long-winded, because some concepts can’t be explained with a few words, but that doesn’t make them untrue. in the same vein, i will never know what it feels like to be a conjoined twin, but it can be explained to me because it’s a material concept. just because you’re unlikely to precisely replicate those senses for those who don’t have them doesn’t mean they’re incapable of understanding what they are materially. the same cannot be said for internal gender and other spiritual beliefs.

I won't dwell on this much further because it's not really the main point of this discussion. It's a question of philosophy, not something observable like societal gender or sexual characteristics.

philosophy is relevant when arguing ethics, though, so it shouldn’t be ruled out in a discussion about gender ideology and whether or not it has a material base.

now, in your first reblog to kkoffin, you explain that since secondary sex characteristics vary, that means that sex is mutable and belongs on a spectrum. i’ll pose a few questions to demonstrate why that claim fails.

are men in the year 2025 more female than men who existed in 25 a.d. because human testosterone levels have dropped since then? were the women in 25 a.d. more male than women in 2025 because their testosterone levels were higher on average? if a woman has her breasts amputated because of breast cancer, does that make her more male? are men with gynecomastia more female than men without it? are female hyenas more male than other female animals because their clitorises look like penises from afar? are male seahorses more female than other male animals because their role in sexual reproduction is to gestate and birth offspring?

as you can see, defining sex by secondary sex characteristics is not a reliable metric for determining sex across species (let alone humans), which is important because sex is not unique to humans. it’s not even defined by chromosomes, because all species that reproduce sexually do not have xx or xy chromosomes.

sex is defined by which organism produces the large gamete (female) and which organism produces the small gamete (male). and that definition encapsulates the enormous variety of secondary sex characteristics across all species.

"Brain sex" would also be a form of continuous sexual characteristic distribution (though tbh I don't love the concept. And the research I've seen shows a pretty tenuous link)

you’re right to feel that brain sex is a dubious “theory,” because brain structure emerges out of neuroplasticity. it changes with development and depends greatly on environmental factors, not sex. it’s been debunked under numerous studies and is agreed upon to be false.

The emphasis on biological sex in the gender critical community, to me, seems to be where the main disagreement with trans issues actually stems from. Since so many trans people's dysphoria stems from physical sexual characteristics, any community that emphasises that as the most important thing about a person will be triggering.

the reason biological sex is so important to feminists and gender critical people is because the society we live in is founded upon it. women are oppressed because of their sex, not because of an internal gender identity which the vast majority of women don’t have. that may trigger a trans person’s dysphoria, but women should not have to silence themselves when they speak out against their oppression because of that. honestly, people who get triggered by surface-level feminism need to do some introspection on why they feel that their personal dysphoria is more important than the global war on women.

And on a personal note, I don't understand how emphasising physical sex characteristics is progressive when biological differences between men and women have been used to justify misogyny since the dawn of time.

you’ve answered your own question. the reason feminists emphasize sex is because it’s the very reason women are still oppressed to this day. we need to be able to identify the root of the problem in order to solve it. your statement employs the same silencing tactic that racists use against racial groups who speak out against their race-based oppression: “well if they wanted to end racism, they would just stop talking about it!”

At its core, “gender critical” ideology has nothing to do with transgender ideology. There’s three main beliefs that create a gender critical ideology and none of them have anything to do with or stem from trans issues.

1. Sex is a physical and material reality. You can touch and hold a penis or vagina. You can measure testosterone or oestrogen differences between men and women. You can study any inherent differences in the brain. Yes, intersex people also exist. That difference in sex development is also a material reality.

2. Gender is a social construct. A conservative, patriarchal invention that believes (as a modern example) women must like dresses and men must like pants. Women like pink and men like blue, or in other cultures or times, other ideas. This is not a material reality, it’s only socialisation. Nothing about material reality makes women like pink. There may be some debate regarding where sex stops and gender socialisation begins, as scientific analysis of the brain has not developed enough to know exactly what is inherent and what is part of the socialisation which starts at (or before) birth.

3. The social construct of gender should be abolished, as it is the foundation of a patriarchy. Women are given gender roles which revolve around being subordinate and submissive, as to obey the patriarch, and men’s gender roles are to be aggressive and strong, as to serve in the military. Sex differences are to be respected and gender is to be abolished. Decisions regarding safety, medical care, and other treatment of people should be based on sex, material reality which effects everyone, not gender.

The issue with trans ideology only comes in where in order to transition gender, gender as a social construct must be maintained. To feel “validated” in changing gender, gender must become more important and more recognised than sex. It pushes that decisions regarding the treatment of and protection of people should be made based on gender rather than sex, entirely opposite to the gender critical belief. Gender needs to be reinforced and protected for the ideology to make any sense at all, otherwise, what are you transitioning to?

Gender critical ideology does not target trans people or ideology. It targets a misogynistic social construct. It is not about trans people or ideologies. It is about a misogynistic social construct and its abolition. It’s just that trans ideology happens to rely on that misogynistic construct which gender critical ideology aims to abolish, and thus, they are opposed.

Gender critical ideology is only anti-patriarchy and anti-conservative. Gender belongs to patriarchy and conservatism. Transgender ideology only has issues with gender critical ideology because it is built on gender and falls apart without it.

I am aware gender dysphoria exists. Gender dysphoria would not exist if gender did not exist. Would you rather children develop gender dysphoria and spend thousands of dollars attempting to free themselves of it, suffering for years in the meantime, or that that suffering not exist in the first place? You can argue all you want that sex dysphoria is the real issue, but if that’s the case, call it such and we can learn to deal with it, but for now it’s an entirely different topic since gender ideology chooses to revolve around “gender” instead.

[won1eluv]

dating with baek kang hyuk headcanon! sfw-nsfw(If you are going to be uncomfortable with the nsfw content, please do not read)

SFW

⌕ back to the beginning, if he realizes he likes you, he might get confused, even if he’s dated someone in the past, he didn’t know if it was the right time. but when his feelings grow, it’ll be hard for you to even understand when you’re dating.

⌕ because he’s a straight-laced guy and will say it openly. he might not be very romantic but when he’s drinking coffee with you on the roof, he’ll say “you know what? i love you” before taking a sip and it might make you spit the coffee in the air.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

“I SAID I LOVE YOU! do i have to yell like you?”

⌕ even though he’s always on the job, his eyes are always on you (except in the operating room, you know he needs to focus and he’ll try not to let you ruin it)

⌕ but of course, if he notices someone acting too close to you when he’s spying on you, it’s a different story. even if they're not very flirty, that smile on your face is enough to make him frown and come over to you two.

"yah! anus! don't you have any work to do, are you still hanging around here? get out!" the nickname he gave him made you laugh, while jae-won smiled shyly at you and quickly left because of kang hyuk's fear. kang hyuk looked around with a fake stretch and finally turned to you "it looks like you still have time to flirt with someone. should i give you more work?"

or if you can't find the person you're looking for, you can be sure that it's because of him.

"have you seen jae-won? he invited me for coffee but didn't show up after that."

"oh him? he's a little busy right now."

"really? but he said-"

your sentence was cut short as jae-won, who was running around, quickly passed you in the hallway, kang hyuk turned to you and narrowed his eyes, leaning towards you a little "what a shame. i have to fill your coffee time now."

⌕ It might be hard for him to admit that he's jealous at first, let's say his ego won't let him.

"wait a minute - were you jealous just now? that look is definitely different."

"don't be ridiculous. I'm just trying to distribute the work properly."

but if you push him...

"what's the problem if I'm jealous? we're dating, right? so stop yapping and get back to work."

⌕ we all know that he likes to give people nicknames. and yes. you have a too. and no. it's not romantic(yet)

he mostly likes to embarrass you in front of people. he likes your furrowed eyebrows and shy looks when you're angry at him. he's actually looking at you with love at the moment, but you might not notice it because you're angry (everyone but you see and know this look)

"chicken, can you give me that file?"

"how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?" you dropped the file in his hand harshly and he just grinned at you. "what's the problem? It suits you."

but things can change when you don't expect it. in the middle of the night, as you are getting ready to fall asleep with difficulty, the hand caressing your hair and the small kiss he places on your head, followed by the sentence "my best medicine." makes you open your eyes quickly and look at him.

"what did you just say?!'

a small giggle filled the room, his voice deep and sleepy, then looked at you with a smile "what happened chicken? are you surprised?"

⌕ he has a hard time sleeping. he definitely makes sure you get enough sleep but it can't be said that he does the same for himself, no matter how much you insist.

but when he finally finds a time to sleep, if you don't have anything important to do, he quickly calls you into the room and doesn't hesitate to bury his head in your neck. "i'm tired. stay still."

or...

"finally. this place doesn't smell like a hospital."

he just needs your scent and warmth at that moment. even if he doesn't get enough sleep, it's okay, that 3 minute calm moment is enough for him to regain his energy.

NSFW

⌕ he is definitely dominant and likes to take control. If you try to be in control, he is likely to make fun of you "do you think you can do this?"

⌕ he doesn't like to rush when he has a lot of time. he mostly likes to watch your reactions, observe what you like and don't like, and get to know your body.

⌕ oh and speaking of bodies, he definitely understands bodies very well. sometimes he stop it especially at the point of pleasure because hearing your whines gives him new reasons to make fun of you.

"I'm not even in, are you giving up already?"

"oh, you like it? then stop holding your voice, there's no one here to hear you."

⌕ we all know this guy is a doctor. so why this detail?

because he definitely has a strong body that can go on more rounds.

sometimes when you think you're done, he can ask for more because he can't resist you. but he also knows that too much pleasure will hurt after a while so... If you're lucky, he will care about that and give you time to rest. "one more round, hm? one last time, I promise. I know it hurts, this will be the last" (liar)

⌕ straightforward. loves to embarrass/annoy you and has a big ego. the only result of this combo is that he's a big expert in dirty talk.

it's not something he can do, he just likes to tell you the way you make him feel, he wants you to know how you drive him crazy.

especially when he whispers in your ear when he's out of breath...

"look at you, you were bolder a moment ago. now you're shaking with pleasure under me. are you going to keep talking big now?"

"hm? do you want me to go faster? what a shame, we still have time. let's stay like this for a while hm?"

"tired already? you wanted to be on top so don't whine and keep moving those hips."

"fuck- that's it. hang on for me a little longer, you feel so good."

⌕ he becomes the sweetest person in the world in aftercare :')

it's important for him to you relax and fall asleep after sex. so even if you're tired, he'll carry you to the bathroom in his arms if necessary and take care of all the work.

"after 5 minutes-" you find yourself in his arms without letting you finish your sentence "I better clean you up before those 5 minutes turn into 5 hours."

he'll caress your back, waist and hair until you fall asleep. a few kisses on your forehead and sweet little whispers. after he's sure you're asleep, he'll whisper one last time before closing his eyes "i love you."

hello??? I need him😭

[savage-sinister]

so… I understand you like villains? XD I hope you can help me in writing a villain love interest… I personally am not super familiar with it, and so I'm wondering;

how "evil" should this villain be? im wondering if his motivations should be evil and self centered, or if hes fighting for a cause the reader can get behind, but has evil ways of going about it… im a bit lost ;v; this is a personal for fun project that I might not even write, but Id find it helpful to know what villain appreciators find sexy in a villain? what makes a good villain to act as a love interest? ;v;

You heard correctly! Thank you for giving me a chance to ramble. ;)

Alright, so to preface this, everything here is going to be my own opinion. There are lots of diverse opinions on what makes a good villain. I'm going to ramble about my own thoughts. You're in luck because I did a bunch of thinking about this 2 years ago when I wrote a villain romance novel!

Alright so to break it down you're actually kind of asking three questions. "What makes an appealing villain", "what makes a good romantic lead", and "how do I make a character with typically villainous traits appealing to an audience as a romantic lead?"

You ask "how "evil" should this villain be?" and here's what I, a villain lover, am going to tell you in response.

You need to forget the notion of 'evil' for a minute. Every "villain" perceives themselves as the hero of their own story. Think about what kind of "evil" traits you want your character to have, and then ask yourself, how did they get into a state of mind where they think that behavior is either acceptable (for them), or actively desirable.

Every hero is working towards a goal that they themselves feel is noble or desirable. The difference between them and a hero is that the "villain" either doesn't care about the consequences of their actions on other people, justifies those actions as necessary for the 'greater good', or represses their feelings of guilt for those actions, or accepts the guilt because "someone has to do it."

This is obvious for a lot of types of villains. The villain who lost someone dear to them and now seeks power above all else in order to protect themselves and the people around them. The villain who sees the evils of the world go unaddressed by the heroes and decides that they're going to fix the world by any means necessary.

Even the most self-interested villain started out like the rest of us, and developed along a path where their actions make sense to them. Villainous businessmen are often "Randian Hero" types who believe the pursuit of wealth and power is noble and sort of quasi-divinely inspired. If they don't believe that, then often they act in an evil, self-interested way to *punish* or get revenge on others.

You often hear "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" from people and characters who are cold, individualistic, unforgiving and self-interested. This generally comes from the self-perception (whether or not it's reality) that this character did exactly that. They feel like they struggled terribly and no one helped them, so in revenge, they're not helping anyone but themselves (and potentially those close to them.)

Likewise even villains who call themselves "evil" and talk about "doing evil for evil's sake" have some kind of relatable motivation you can find. Maybe they feel like they were punished unjustly by people who call themselves "good" and adopted a kind of reverse morality. "Oh if you're 'good' then I'm going to be 'evil'.". On the other hand maybe they're a theater kid type and they're using the concept of "evil" as a smokescreen for another goal. Maybe they think they're improving the world through underhanded means and think it's ironic to embrace the "evil" term that their enemies put on them.

So the question of "how evil should the villain be" for the purposes of your story, since you want the reader to empathize with them, is "exactly evil as you want to make them while still having the reader admire something about them." What makes a "villain" in the narrative is that the hero is not supposed to identify with or admire their goals and ideals. Your job in a villain romance is to turn that on its head, and make the scary guy who steals, or murders, or whatnot, relatable to the audience.

That leads us to the next question.

 "What makes a good romantic lead?"

In the case of a romance where the villain is the romantic lead, you want to think about what makes a villain attractive to people. Most of us villain fuckers are in there for the "byronic hero" type of villain.

A character who:

has an unusual and dramatic sense of style

who feels misunderstood by the world, who the romance protagonist can understand.

who is powerful and can make the protagonist feel protected

who the protagonist knows will be devoted to them above all else. Above morals, above sanity. A villain's lover is more important to them than other people's lives. Than the whole universe.

There should be exactly two things that are important to your villain. Their Goal, which the protagonist can either help them with or show them the folly or, and The Protagonist, who should be so important to the villain by the end of the story that they would give up their goal if they had to to protect them.

And that brings us to "how do I make a character with typically villainous traits appealing to an audience as a romantic lead?"

And here's the answer to that that every good tabletop rpg roleplayer knows. And that's that every strength a character has also reflects a flaw– and therefore every flaw also reflects a strength.

If your villain murders people, have them murder on protagonist's behalf. 

If your villain sees the beauty in the disgusting, have them show it to the protagonist and explain their perspective.

If your villain is a thief, have them steal trinkets for the protagonist.

If you show the villain using their villainous traits in ways that benefit the protagonist AND you show the audience how the villain got to the mindset where they believe their villainous traits are good, and you show why they're pursuing the goals they are.

Then you have a relatable villain who makes a great romantic lead.

At its heart villain loving is a mix of: dark aesthetics, romance beyond sense logic and morals, sharing understanding with someone who everyone else misunderstands, being cared for by someone who has difficulty caring for others (which makes you special), and a power fantasy.

I hope that helped at least a little! In the end of course, if you're writing a sexy villain, the most important thing is to write a villain who is sexy to you!

[austinslounge]

I didn't want to bring it up, but now that another anon mentioned it, I'll admit that I too am worried about Austin's disappearance. I don't expect him to be seen out on dates like a wild man, but he hasn't even been spotted out with friends in LA or elsewhere. One red flag was just 2 nights ago, when Dune 2 cinematographer & Josh Brolin had a Dune book release party at a gallery. Denis & Timmy showed up, but not Austin. Can't he do at least the minimum promo, as a courtesy to his friends?

I'm glad he's been spending valuable time reconnecting with family, but eventually he'll want to go back to the life and career that he's worked so hard for. Yes, there are certain successful actors that can live a life completely outside of Hollywood (Ryan Gosling comes to mind), but Austin is just not there yet. He's still building his career, and any talent manager or pr professional will tell him to get out there & network.

I know you are of the opinion that Austin was so happy to dump K's ass & they were a meaningless pr relationship, but what if that's not the case? What if he had a change of heart or was hoping to patch things up, but K moved on like Austin never existed? What if the breakup has taken its toll & he is struggling? None of us are in his head, by your own admission, so we don't know what negative thoughts he might have while alone & no longer with a romantic companion. That can be the case for any person, but compounded by the pressures of Hollywood stardom makes things even more challenging.

Okay, you all are going to need a seat for this one, because I have a lot to say.

Anon, I understand your concern, but keep in mind that even early last year, Austin wasn't spotted in LA for months unless it was during a red carpet event (and he had several last year).

His pap visibility, even from last year in LA, subsided drastically. The only time he was usually papped was when he was spotted with [Redacted] or in NYC filming. I think it's pretty clear now who was calling the paps.

I think fans just got used to him promoting a bunch of stuff last year, being everywhere for "Elvis" promo and awards season, and being with a pap-calling gf, that fans didn't realize that he's actually pretty low-key when he's not working or dating someone who's calling the paps every 2 seconds. 😒

Keep in mind that Austin might not even be in LA atm. We really don't even know. He hasn't been spotted since Colorado. If he's spending time visiting his family, then good for him! That should be encouraged, not discouraged (imo).

Also, keep in mind that Austin and Callum hung out and weren't papped or even seen by locals while out together. They mentioned during their MOTA press tour that they hung out together with each other while Callum was in LA visiting from London. We didn't even know that they had hung out in LA together until they themselves mentioned it. Again, more signs that Austin isn't the one calling paps on himself.

It's also good to remember that Austin is usually a homebody. Even Florence said during their Dune Press Tour that she had to drag him out of his hotel room to get him go out while they were in Budapest filming lol. 😅 He's an introvert. Him being by himself or not "out and about" doesn't mean he's depressed. Just because you're alone, it doesn't necessarily mean you feel "lonely". You can be in a relationship and still feel very lonely and dejected. (Keep that in mind)

Wrt the Dune Book Release Party -- Ummm...Timmy is the lead in Dune Part 2. Austin is not. Timmy is also campaigning for an Oscar. Austin is not. Austin has already done the whole Oscar campaigning where he was seen everywhere. He's not going to do something that he doesn't have to do lol.

Austin's career and visibility is just fine imo. It's actually very smart if he wants to be an actor who people can realistically believe can disappear into various different roles. Maybe he himself doesn't want to become too overexposed since he already went through a huge Elvis press tour & awards season where he was everywhere, and he had 3 projects to promote last year.

Austin (so far) seems like he's honestly just enjoying his life and time off before he has to promote 2 films this year, and possibly film something else.

Look, I know some of you out there may have this whole fantasy in your heads about how Austin is missing [Redacted] and wants her back lol, but just look at the facts!

Austin dumped [Redacted]. It was his decision! It wasn't like she dumped him, and now he's feeling bad and wants to make things work. It didn't even seem like they had a huge blown up fight and broke up in haste! According to DM, he had even stopped making an effort 6 months prior to see her. That right there should tell you something. She was turning him off pretty badly if he didn't even want to see her, even just for.... 👀 Look -- He pretty much showed by his actions how he feels.

Austin and [Redacted] broke up months ago. In fact, I believe they broke up even as early as September. Don't you think that if he wanted her back, he would have done something by now?? She's been single for months before getting with Lewis lol.

If Austin were "sad" about her being with another guy and wanted her back, don't you think he would have done something to get her back while she was getting close with Marcello?? Toe Thumbs Dude? Santa's Lap Dude? Think about it. 🤔

Look at the way Austin looked while in a relationship with [Redacted]. Can you honestly (with a straight face) say that Austin looked happy...especially all of 2024 with her? Why would you think that he would want to go back to a relationship w/a woman who he looked miserable and depressed with most of the time?? Someone who he was liking videos on IG tagged "toxic relationships"? Girl, get real! Idk any man who would be mourning a relationship like that. Especially one in which her family threw him under the bus, and one where the media was going back and forth on how "they have nothing in common" and there's "trouble in paradise". Why regress back into a relationship in which Austin didn't even look in love with her? (And we all know what Austin in love looks like -- We had 8 years of seeing him in love).

In conclusion, before I end this essay, I just wanted to say that we just need to be patient. We will see Austin again.😊 He will pop up (maybe even unexpectedly!?). Fans just have to be patient, that's all. 💜