#i feel like i could take a nap
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god lidocaine spray really makes a world of difference for a big tattoo
#bingo mama#the nerd speaks#i feel like i could take a nap#or like. do my taxes or something#instead of writhing in pain in this chair
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i call this one "god damn it jesus christ i was just doing this to wind down from my other comic why did it take like 2 days to finish" and also "therapists don't take style points so i guess this'll do" and also "i cant fucking use the knuckleblaster it makes me mad" and finally: "bowing back to v2 in the first fight is funny so i illustrated it. theres some other stuff in there too i guess."
#we draw at times!#comic#ultrakill#v1#v2#i just think theyre neat and i was bored of. green#context: working on my actually long comic. drew these to refresh my eyes so theyre lower effort than they could be. don't really care 2muc#art#the only reason the last two are splash pages is i. cough. wanted to go to sleep before 3 am tonight#wasted all my multiple-panels energy on pages 3 and 4. you get splash pages and you will rejoice.#if it feels disconnected yeah i didnt script it either and it took like two days. this is entirely vibes all the way through#i was literally just bored and i like v2#ok good night im going to take my nap
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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I FINISHED YEEEAHHHHHHHH
ok yall im attempting to start THAT project…😭 pray for me
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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Sometimes I think about borealopelta and start crying from the sheer volume of emotion it stirs within me
[Image: a simplified drawing of Borealopelta markmitchelli, an ankylosaur, laying curled up on its belly, perhaps to sleep. It has chunky limbs and a purplish-red body covered in spikes, particularly along its sides. It looks sweet and comfortable. End ID.]
#Borealopelta#Dinosaurs#Paleoart#The Pictures of Dorian They#ID#Snazzled#I’m always just overwhelmed by the preservation and so deeply reminded that we’re all just weird little creatures in time and#everything is the same forever#like I could just reach out and pet its real snoot that it snuffled with. bridge a gap of 110 million years in a single gesture#just to show a gentle being on this beautiful earth a universal act of love. I could pet it like I pet the little furry domestic cats that#live in my house. It looks so peaceful. it’s just taking a little nap. a very very long nap#after a long beautiful day of snuffling through the vegetation when flowers were new#blinking under the same sun#I get incredibly emotional about this animal#You don’t know how badly I want to pet its snoot#It makes me feel real.#27.5#2024
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my mother operates on the baseline assumption that everyone else exists to cater to her at all times and responds with absolute fury at any indication that might not be the case. which is ultimately manageable now that I am an adult and not a child she has complete control over but god damn do I look forward to the day I can just like exist in the place I live in peace
#was just shaken awake from the nap i was taking cause i wasn't feeling well so she could complain about a customer service worker.#and then she got pissed that i was so tired lol#oh well! she doesnt feel like she can starve or hit me or break all my things or tell me i should kill myself anymore so its fiiiiine
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Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao
#wherein lmao means I'm so scared and i cant stop crying rn#no one should have to fear this. not me nor anyone else nor the ppl who have already had to flee their homes worldwide#a person shouldn't have to worry abt violence being enacted upon them bc of who they are which like#obvi isn't a new concept to myself and most ppl but i feel like the folks who'll vote Trmp don't care for it#won't affect them in theory after all so of course they don't care#Housemate and I are trying to figure out where we could go and how in case of the worst#and it's not even the first time I'll have had to leave a place bc of safety reasons (two nickles on that already in my life)#but it doesn't make it any less daunting#i just want to live my life in our little house with Housemate and the cats working my shit job and trying to enjoy whatever i can#none of this matters and im shouting into a void full of equally terrified ppl dealing with this themselves if not worse#these tags don't make sense entirely and i don't care. i have things I should be doing and I'm sitting in my room#paralysed by fear over all of this#i should distract myself but with what? at what point do i accept the distractions can only do so much?#maybe I'll just take a nap again. idk. feels weird and wrong to play a video game or nap ordo anything that isn't trying to research options#i need to stop rambling here like im hoping time will pause while i type im out again lmao
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I don't mean to vague, but also, I do mean to vague.
5 year olds talk in complete sentences.
I read a fic recently, which was pretty good, but I could not finish it because the two 5 year olds we saying "me hungie" and "I no wan" and other shit like that. I get that some of yall don't interact with children, but there are resources! Babies learn language by mimicking the adults around them! If you're not saying "me hungry", they're not going to say "me hungie". Also, unless the child has an actual speech impediment, by 5 years old they can properly pronounce their phonetics. They can say hungry instead of hungie (I've never heard a child say hungie, even when they were legit learning to speak) and uncle instead of unkie.
5 year olds are in kindergarten, learning their numbers and letters, and how to share, and communicating with their teachers and peers! I've been having conversations with my niece since she was 3! She could speak 3 word sentences at 2! My niece is 5 and she is staring to learn to read, and we've been reading to her since she was born! She might not understand why language works, and were still correcting her on some things, but she is speaking real words!
If you haven't spoken to a child recently, and you're writing a fic that involves small children in speaking roles, watch a youtube video with a small child in it!
#children#fic writing#i feel bad that i didnt wrote a comment bc the only thing i could thing to write was kids dont talk like that#also 5 year olds probably arent taking naps most kids stop by the time theyre 4#you want some real childishness make so they have to be cajoled into eating food#this might just be my niece but she will have to be reminded to take each bite if she knows she has to taka a bath when shes done
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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#i found this little bee on the walkway :((#they were on the ground like in the middle of a busy place ppl walk and bike#almost all bees i find are already dead but i always move them to the grass anyway#bc it feels so wrong and unholy that a bee corpse is just continiously walked on until it gets mashed into the gravel#but this one was alive so i managed to nudge them up on my hand#and at first they tried to hurry away from me but when they noticed i wasnt doing anything they calmed down#i just like dont know... i couldnt rmbr anything abt which flowers have the right pollen.. nutrients.. that bees need#i do know that they mainly need wild flowers but they barely exist...#i took them to a flower and nudged them onto it but they didnt like that one#and immediately wanted back up on my finger#i walked around a bit and found flowers were another be was already taking a nap on#so i tried putting my bee down on one of those#i hope they could find smth in the flower :(( and omg i wish i had brought my water with me#bc what i rmbr from one insta video i saw recently was that bees walking around on the ground are dehydrated#i hope i gave them a chance putting them on the flower#if i had left them they would've only been trampled :((((#i got so attached to them bc they didnt wanna leave my hand and i had to really coax them onto the flower :(((#i miss them :((( i just hope they're ok now#and if not at least they could die in peace on top of a flower instead of being trampled by filthy humans#photo diary ᯓᡣ𐭩#i think i shouldve put them on the flower necxt to it??? it looks like it has more stuff on it?#idk i just tried to put them on different flowers but this was the only flower they wanted to stay on :/// poor bee
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trying to get back into drawing oiuuughh ft one of my dip auz
#pip's art#i never flipped the canvaz thiz could look like shit for all i know#cw blood#cw dead animal#??#poorly drawn but juzt in caze#i didnt feel like coloribg...#my head hurtz really bad#bazically thiz au iz juzt#pip getz sent down go earth from heaven to kill damien bcuz hez the antichrist#but he decidez not to after falling in love with him#exvept itz not like oh he changed hiz violent wayz juzt for him ❤️❤️ no he iz crazy inzane coo coo juzt in love now#and damien iz weirded out by him n shit bbut cant bring himzelf to hate him#theyre both#really out of character#at leazt from how i perceive them#but thatz kinda the point#im not really taking any of it zeriouzly#itz kinda bazed off the little cringe mary sue thingiez i would make when i waz younger so itz juzt#an excuze for me to be silly and not really tske it seriouzly#alzo yea about pip being crazy and coo coo i gave him a scythe but i donr know how to draw it yet#i choze a scythe bcuz#....???#idk it remindz me again of thoze mary sue ocz i uzed to mske#unironically i kinda love mary suez#a lot actually#theyre really fun tk mske#andreally noztalgic#um ok im gonna keep napping now bye#heavenlypark
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brain being smart and all, it should know not to bring dream emotions in real life
#wanted to take a nap so i could be rested and study#now im still tired and also feel like crying because someone in my dream yelled at me and i was even more useless with everything than i am#when im awake#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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does your body ever do a series of concerning things and you're just like interesting. im gonna pretend that didnt just happen
#that's been my life for the past few months HFHFJFJSK#gonna pretend im not losing hair nor that im getting winded walking up the stairs in my house nor that i cant lie down during the day#without feeling sleepy nor that i could literally take a nap during the day and still feel exhausted at 9pm#nope nope not my business#i do have an appt with a doctor soon though so maybe that's why im not as anxious bc it's like ahdjsk until a professional says something#not my business 🤧#THIS i can stay calm about but the prospect of not being able to finish a drawing by the time i told myself i would? immediate anxiety#♡alizeh talks♡
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Melatonin is a delicate balancing act, it took some time to find a dose that helped me fall and stay asleep without leaving me groggy after 8/10 hours. For me, that has been 10 mg gradually increased to such over a few weeks then steady since.
I also take roughly a week without it every month or two, as the bottle recommends. Listen to your body and do what you can. Good luck, and thank you for the sweet gay were/pire comic<3
Yeah, I can tell my sweet zone is somewhere between 3 and 6 mg, at least right now. Or at least I think it is. Admittedly my sleep has been absolutely horrible since I was a kid so my standards on "not tired" are pretty low, so I'm not actually sure if they're any good right now. All I know is I'm getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, and I'm not spending every waking moment fighting off a nap!
Thanks for the confirmation I've gotta test with it and go off and on and such, my doc didn't give me a straight answer on that (he just kept saying take it as needed... I need it every night!!!). 75% of the time being good is way better than 0% so I'll take what I can get!
And the gay comics are the least I can do 🧡 thank you for reading it!
#my boyfriend actually commented unprompted that ive been complaining less about being tired all the time..m#like dont get me wrong. im still tired#but it has been a WORLD of a difference.#like. its been every day since i was like 14 that just. all day i could fall right back asleep#and every night i wake up every. other. hour.#ive never really been able to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time#so ive never gotten uhm. good sleep before.#and ive had to stay in bed 14. 16. 20 hours to even feel like i can GET UP!!!!#super bad hahaha#but I'll take a week of that every month or so over every day#im just glad ive found a dose and combo thats workint for me cause ive tried melatonin before and it didnt help#but that was qlso before i used those nose strips. which also help me a lot?#so i think the combo is important#and i wouldn't be shocked if in 5 years i learn of another secret sleeping ingredient#anyways. maybe i can line up the bad sleep week off melatonin with the other week that sucks every month auajjddjdjejdj#see how it goes lol#oh ive also been taking other vitamins which have also been helping#so that combo leaves me with some actual waking time that im not fighting off a nap#this is why I've been posting more recently btw lol#asks#jackedupjack
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saw someone mention wanting to see an older/younger moment for taissa which i 100% need, and now i'm considering the implications of reversing the process for her. like, instead of her older self turning into her younger self in a moment of stress, young tai turns to older tai the moment she steps off the rescue plane signaling that she is forcefully burying her current self and mentally living decades in the future. she will not really live her 20s or 30s, because from the moment of rescue tai's entire existence is about crafting the perfect life to disappear into. it's a forced metamorphosis that can only end in tragedy
or, conversely, other tai is the one that changes into her younger self. because no matter how bad things get, tai is unable to fully reconnect with her younger self, for better or worse. she severed that part of herself so completely that she can never go back even if she wanted to. because tai pretty much hit rock bottom in season 2 and it made her other self come out more, but the younger version of her never came any closer
#i just like the idea that tai is the only one of them to actually succeed in burying her younger self#but that she doesn't suffer any less for it#especially if in reconnecting with van she starts to remember the better parts of her past self#a self that she can no longer reach#i can't really imagine what could happen that would bring out her younger self at this point#she already killed her dog and put her wife in a coma and abandoned her son and sleepdrove across state lines to see her ex#and found out her ex is dying and watched the teammate/friend she had been desperately trying to save die in front of her#not to mention assisting in murder clean up and forcing herself to stay awake for days at a time to fight off her shadow self#she hit rock bottom then curled up to take a nap#so i feel like something new needs to happen for her old/young moment#yellowjackets#taissa turner
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