#i feel like i could do 25 days with just it
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cornyforjk · 3 days ago
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Drive you crazy | Day 7 | jjk
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⤷ SUMMARY In which you are stuck living with an arrogant rookie racer who thinks of you as an obstacle, ready to ruin your glory, but things get heated when he has a pervy smile hidden under that pretentious attitude. Emotions that are complicated. You could never fall for your enemy! He's sabotaging you.
Pairing: racer!jk × racer!oc
Genre: angst and pure filth smut
Warnings: NONE OML
taglist: @tatamicc @jwnghyuns @nono13bnd @hagridshaircare @tatzzz-25 @suashifts @kyuupii @bananaminn @rispwr @spideyjimin
A/Note: POSTING THIS EXACTLY AT 11:11 CAUSE ITS 11/11😺 anw yall this was just a filling chapter nothing special nyeahhh. Ik mot very professional and ethical but I'll try to be more mindful, thoughtful and demure.💅🏻
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Jungkook's pov
Y/n looks at me with a cryptic smile, walking towards the lake with pebbles in her hand.
"I don't think we can be friends or anything...but I'm there for you...if you need someone to talk to." She faces me with a small crooked smile.
"We can't?" I cock up an eyebrow with a wrinkled forehead, anticipating an answer.
"Well," she starts, my eyes follow her automatically. The control she has over me is overlooked. "I was a bit miserable after you broke my heart by being mean to me." Y/n dramatically lays a hand on her head with a high-pitched voice of vain. "You lost this friendship! So make up for it and retrieve it back, Jungkook!"
Y/n motivated me at this silly fuss she created. It was funny seeing her act like a damsel in distress, someone Y/n is totally opposite off.
"You come back little punk! I thought you were serious!" I yelled, trying to catch her as she ran away, leaping into puddles I circle arms around her, carrying towards the lake while she kicks her legs in the air. With a splash of water I threw her in the lake, he flushed face soaked wet.
"Don't make that cute pout- you look like an angry sea otter." I chuckled, my orbs dancing round her figure. Wet clothes clasped to her body, the glistening water dripping down her collar bones.
Gosh.
I unconsciously lick my lips.
"Let me make up for the so-called- ruined friendship." I scowl jumping into the lake with a splash. Y/n squeaks lightly, her pissed-off face glowing in the moonlight.
"I'm this close to ripping your head off," she sarcastically smiled, trying to tower over me. Fisting my shirt. I react suddenly by tripping over her and both of us fall into the water again, drenched from head to toe.
Y/n starts hitting my chest lightly,her body close to me with her legs wrapped around my waist. "Something is touching my leg!" she whined, splashing water everywhere as she threw a fit, squealing lightly and murmuring curses with a quivering voice.
"Fine..."
I quickly picked her up, throwing her over my shoulder, her body dangling freely.
"What are you doing!" she shrieked. "Picking you up." I responded.
"No- pick me up the proper way! Or else I will bite your ass." I could feel her cheekily smiling, her face hitting my back constantly as I swung her on my shoulder.
"Bite me and I'll drop you in the water again." I shot her an irritated look that she cannot see anyways. My response turns out to keep her porthole shut for the next five minutes to return to my car. Peaceful eerie wind that interlocked itself in my bangs.
I place her down finally, rummagingthrough the bag I bought along the trip.
"What am I supposed to wear now?" Y/ n questioned with hands on her hips and a tone that was sassy enough to be portrayed by Regina George.
Y/n lifts a little bit of her shirt, wringing off the water allowing me to trace her perfect body with my orbs.
Ugh- I just checked her out.
Feeling a rock of reality hit the back of my head and brought me back to my senses. I bury my face even deeper into the backpack.
"Answer me-" I throw a shirt and trouser her way, chuckling at her tiny shivering figure.
"You want me to change here?" Y/n squeaks like a duckling.
"Yes."
"No, I won't."
"Then you are going home like that." I smirk, leaning against my car watching her shut her mouth instantly.
"Go behind that tree and change. Iwon't look." I hold her hand, yanking her towards the tree.
"Promise?" she holds out her pinky finger, pausing for me to hook mine with it.
"Promise." I connect my finger with hers.
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Y/N's pov
I walked out from the spot, wearing the new clothes that were quite large and barely clung onto me. They had a soft vanilla like scent mixed with hints of coconut tha blessed my nose, as if I couldn't stop sniffing it. They definitely belonged to Jungkook.
I walk back into the car, setting the heater when suddenly Jungkook closes the door behind him ready to start the car, but there was something wrong.
He was shirtless. I instantly look away, facing the window, my whole body heating up and cheeks flushed red.
"W-where is your shirt?" I bite my tongue and curse under my breath for stuttering in front of him.
Shutting my eyes immediately when he leans closer, whispering in my ear, I hold in a breath waiting for him to speak.
"I gave it to you." His husky voice sends shivers down my spine, the rich deep voice that swells the pit of my stomach. Maybe because I haven't been in a relationship for 7 years, or maybe because my hormones are going wild, because not even in 100 years will I ever find Jeon Jungkook desireful.
"I bet you didn't notice that I licked your earlobe." He perked up. "WHAT-"
"I'm kidding."
Jungkook leans back with a satisfied smirk while I sink into my seat, flustered.
"My clothes look cute on you" he remarks.
"Shut up."
"No."
"You are, without a doubt, the most annoying person I crossed paths with and don't even get me started on your voice." I start to babble without paying attention to him.
"My voice is hot then?"
"Yes." I responded. Jerking my body and clasping a hand to my mouth.
I wanted the car seat to fold and swallow me, maybe I was going haywire by telling the truth that I wasn't supposed to. Panic rose from my stomach to throat and I throw my hands, yelping.
"No!" I say, "your voice is annoying." I retrieve back, his smile dropping as soon I cross my hands over my chest, huffing out the lump in my throat.
My eyes thoughtlessly wander down his body, I notice an intricate tattoo on his ribs of a dragon appearing from between flames of fire. His muscular abdomen and slightly damn abs "So you heard about our race in France...?" Jungkook raises his eyebrow in question but his voice fades to the back of my head. My eyes focused on his body.
The urge to run my hand across his abs and feel them grows vigorous.
"Mhm-" I hum, licking my lips.
He is so well built in every way, like an ethereal Greek God. Even prostitutes would be jealous of that body. The woman who gets to feel that warm luscious muscular body would call herself lucky. An image of him sweaty and shirtless working out before a race pops into my mind, every other important thought blurring out. I want to erase that image as much as I want to enhance it.
My body heats up, aroused as I shame myself for bringing up such thoughts.
"My eyes are up here sweetheart." Jungkook softly says, biting his lower lip containing a laugh.
I stop gazing like a pervert, blushing with embarrassment."S-sorry." I cleared my throat, looking out the window, earning a soft laugh as he drove away.
"Try not to gape, sweetheart."
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Day6 | Day8
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saveyourblood · 2 days ago
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Pretty Boy - Ch 2 (Evan Buckley x Reader) (Eventual Buddie x Reader)
Summary: You can feel Buck staring. When your eyes meet his, you realize he’s staring at your hand, which is still on Eddie’s knee. You slowly retreat, which makes Buck turn his attention to your face. You smile softly. He just looks out the window. The one where you’re an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them.
Ch 1
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A/N: This is such a niche story and I am desperate for validation, please tell me if you enjoyed reading! Word Count: 3.4k Warnings: descriptions of gun violence, mental health issues/suicide ideation (nothing overly graphic IMO)
Unlike some people who work in this building, you know how to take orders. So, instead of dragging your feet and prolonging the inevitable, you go to Bobby’s office the second you get back from the call. Hen tries to say something to you, but you’re so focused on having this conversation behind you that you ignore her. 
Despite the door being cracked open, you knock a few times. 
“Come in,”  Bobby says. 
You step in. He looks up. 
“Ah,” he remarks as if it’s a surprise to see you. “You can close the door behind you.” 
You close the door and lean against it. 
“Have a seat,” Bobby instructs as he files through some random papers. 
You let out a sigh. You were hoping to be in and out, but Bobby clearly has other ideas. Still, you do as you’re told. 
“I wanted to talk to you about what happened with Buck.”
As if you’d be in here for anything else. 
“Are you gonna write me up?” You ask instinctually. You’ve never been formally disciplined, so the question is gnawing at you. 
“Buck wants me to.”
You snort. “Buck wants a lot of things; most children do.”
“You’re a year younger than him,” Bobby points out. 
It’s true—Buck is 26, and you’re 25. But in this context especially, age is just a number. You’re a 25-year-old advanced practice paramedic with 3 years of experience who acts their age. Buck is a 26-year-old firefighter in his probationary period who acts like a frat boy.
“Are you going to write me up?” You repeat. 
Bobby gives you a look, then sighs with a crooked smile. “No. But if you do anything like that again, you’ll be hearing from me and Sergeant Grant.” 
“Fair enough,” you cede. 
There are a few silent beats in the conversation. This is why Bobby made you sit—he has more to say. 
“Why does he bother you so much?” Bobby asks.
“Literally everything I told him: he’s wreckless and he’s gonna get someone killed if he doesn’t change.” 
“So why not teach him to do better, to be better?”
“Trust me, Cap, I’ve tried,” you chuckle. “I mean, even earlier today, I taught him how to clear an obstruction in a neonatal airway. And honestly? For a few minutes, when he was running down the stairs with that baby in his arms, I thought, ‘Hey, maybe he isn’t so bad after all.’ And then he yells at Sergeant Grant, and he proves me wrong. Again.” 
“I’m talking to him and Sergeant Grant about how everything went down,” Bobby says. 
“I’m not telling you that to get him in trouble, I just…” You take a deep breath through your nose and let it out as a sigh. “It felt like no one was holding him accountable. And I’ve tried playing nice, and I’ve tried teaching him, and he still had the nerve to pretend that he can play god. And I just… lost it, and thought that maybe if I treat him like a man would, he would finally listen to me.”
Bobby nods, taking in everything you’ve said.  
“You think I don’t hold him accountable?” He eventually asks. 
You let out another sigh. “If Buck worked under any other LAFD Captain, they would have canned his ass about three months ago.”
“But is that the right thing to do?” Bobby counters. “This job is tough, and it isn’t something that can be taught overnight. Buck has potential—he could be an invaluable asset some day.”
“Is firing him the right call? Honestly, Bobby, I have no idea,” you admit. “But if people have to get hurt in order for Buck to be good at his job, then it isn’t worth the price.” 
Bobby ended up firing Buck a few days later. It wasn’t for what happened with Sergeant Grant; it was because, apparently, Bobby caught him having sex with some girl on a roof. He used one of the fire trucks to drive there. The moron didn’t realize they have GPS trackers. You got all of this information in a text from Hen. 
You turn the corner to the locker room, planning to put away your keys and wallet before starting your shift like you always do. You didn’t expect to see Buck sitting on the bench in front of the lockers. 
You plan on opening your locker, throwing your stuff in it, and leaving before Buck can say anything. The second you lift the lever, though, Buck turns his head towards you. 
He doesn’t say anything, and you definitely aren‘t going to break the silence. 
“So you heard, huh?” Buck says. 
You close your locker and spin the lock to scramble it. “Yeah, I did.” 
“Aren’t you going to say anything else?” 
“Tough break. Sorry, man,” you say with a shrug. You turn on your heel to leave.
“That’s it?” Buck says with a laugh. “A few days ago, you were slamming me against an ambulance, and now… nothing? Aren’t you supposed to say, ‘I told you so’?”
Buck doesn’t even work at the 118 anymore, and he still has a way of getting under your skin. You close your eyes, hoping you can gain some composure before you say anything.
“I’m sorry for pushing you; that was unprofessional,” you say and make your second attempt at leaving.
“But that’s all you're sorry for,” Buck says, rising to his feet. 
You turn around and eye him from head to toe. His chest isn’t puffed out in that hypermasculine way it normally is. Buck shifts his weight between feet, and when the pressure of your stare becomes too much, he breaks eye contact. 
“It’s like Sergeant Grant said: I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” you eventually reply.
“Then say it: you’re happy to see me go.”
Jesus Christ, he can be such a baby. 
“Okay, fine, you wanna go there?” you retort, taking a step forward. “You wanna know the worst thing about you, Buck?” 
He just looks at you. 
“You. You’re the worst thing about you. Because you could’ve been good. You’ve got decent skills, and you have heart, but you have no discipline. You can’t take orders, and you can’t look at a woman for more than thirty seconds without having sex with her. You’re a 16-year-old boy trapped in a 26-year-old man’s body, and ever since you started, you haven’t done anything to change it. You get in your own way and are too busy flirting or running your mouth to even realize it.”
You take another step towards him to ensure he hears what you’re about to say. “You could’ve been good. And I hope that shit haunts you. Because maybe, it’ll finally make you grow up.”
You start to make your exit again but linger in the doorway. You turn back around; there’s one more thing you want to say.
“I’m not happy to see you go, Evan. In fact, I was really hoping you would prove me wrong.”
And with that, you’re gone. 
You and Hen go out on a ‘shortness of breath’ call that ends up being a STEMI — a heart attack. You get him to the nearest hospital in five minutes, and if they can get him to the cath lab, he has a really good shot at surviving it. The patient’s wife hugs both you and Hen, thanking the two of you for doing such a wonderful job. You savor the feeling; most calls don’t end this way. 
When you pull into the station, there’s an engine missing. At first, you think it’s no big deal: the boys are probably out on a fire call. Then you see Bobby standing where the engine’s supposed to be.
“What’s going on, Cap?” Hen asks as she closes the door to the rig. 
“There’s an engine missing.”
“Yeah, clearly,” you chuckle. 
“There were reports of a residential break-in on Lambert Street in Winnetka,” Bobby continues. 
“Damn,” Hen whistles. 
You both heard something about that over the scanner on your drive back to the station; there was a suspected hostage, a young girl. Last you heard, the subject was trying to flee by motorcycle. 
“All of the 118 firemen are accounted for,” Bobby concludes.
You and Hen share a look. Who has a track record of borrowing engines without permission?
The truck pulls up and slowly backs into the garage. You catch a glimpse of the driver in one of the rearview mirrors. 
“Pretty Boy,” you say simply. 
Buck steps out of the truck, still wearing the jeans and long-sleeved grey shirt you last saw him in. “I know what this looks like.”
“Looks like you took the engine out in your street clothes,” Bobby says as he approaches the younger man. 
“I didn't really have time to change,” Buck counters. He doesn’t say it in his normal cocky tone, though. Frankly, he looks nervous. 
“Athena Grant called me, wanted to tell me what an asset you are.” Bobby continues. “Told her she was half right.”
Buck frowns. “Are you giving me another chance?” 
“You’ve used all your chances; so have I,” Bobby says, “because somehow I have failed to communicate to you how lucky we are to do what we do.”
Bobby starts to walk away, but Buck isn’t letting him get away that easy. 
“You're wrong, Bobby. I absolutely do get what a privilege it is to serve here,” Buck says, “and you know what? You were right to fire me.”
That makes Bobby stop dead in his tracks.
“I was a punk,” Buck continues, “still am one. But I'm a punk who understands what he lost. Just… needed you to know that.”
“I hope you mean that. Now go get dressed.” 
Buck stands cluelessly for a second, then turns to you and Hen. “I think I’m not fired.” 
“Your shift’s not over yet,” Hen points out. 
You go to follow her, but Buck stops you by calling your name. 
“I just wanted to tell you, uh…” Buck says, wringing his hands together. “I’m gonna prove you wrong.”
Normally, words like that coming out of his mouth would set your skin on fire. Between the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes, though, something in your gut tells you to hear him out. 
“Yeah?” You ask simply, waiting for him to elaborate. 
“Some day, I’ll be good,” he says, “but until then, I’ll be better.”
Buck extends a hand for you to shake. It’s the most chivalrous thing you’ve seen him do since you met him. You look at his hand, then at his eyes. There isn’t a trace of humor in his gaze. You take his hand and shake it. 
“I look forward to seeing it.”
Your first call of the shift is to an amusement park where one of the rides malfunctioned. A rider was thrown from the ride as it was moving, and it sounds like he’ll be DOA. When the operator deployed the emergency breaks, though, it meant the rest of the train stopped at the top of a loop, which one rider is now dangling out of. 
Buck is the first to volunteer to climb the ladder and harness the passenger. You’re not surprised. He’s grown a lot in the last few weeks, but he still jumps at every exciting opportunity, no matter how dangerous it may be. Maybe that’s just how Buck is. 
“Hey, he’s asking about his friend,” Buck radios once he’s at the top. 
“Chimney, how’s the kid on the ground?” Bobby radios. 
You look up and shake your head. 
“We lost him,” Chim radios back. 
“All right, I don't need the people up there seeing that. So, do me a favor... He survived, right? Get him on a gurney. You know the drill,” Bobby instructs.
“Copy that,” Chim replies. 
Once you and Chimney get him on the gurney and out of everyone’s sight, you look up at Buck. 
“Come on,” Chimney mutters encouragingly. “Come on, Buck.” 
After a painfully long minute, you see the man’s grasp on the rollercoaster falter. Then, you watch him let go. You close your eyes before you see him hit the ground, but the sound will echo off of your eardrums for a while. 
You go the rest of the night without seeing Buck; you don’t share another call, and when you’re not out in the field, you’re asleep in the bunks. It’ll probably kill you in the long run, but these days, you learn to sleep whenever and wherever you can. 
When you wake up for morning report and breakfast, Buck is already sitting at the table. You wipe the sleep out of your eyes and get a cup of coffee before sitting across from him. 
Bobby was nice enough to make breakfast; he knows how hard these calls are. No matter how many you get, it’ll never get easier. 
Bobby sets a plate in front of Buck. 
“I’m not hungry,” he says almost instantaneously. 
“This is America, Buckaroo,” Chim replies as he sets some silverware on the table. “Eating has nothing to do with being hungry.
“Man, I was right there. You know, all he had to do was reach up and grab my hand,” Buck says instead.
“People do funny things at times like that,” you offer, sipping your drink. “ Sometimes they just freeze up.”
“I’ve never lost anyone before,” Buck says quietly. He looks up at you. “Does it get any easier?” 
Bobby answers for you. “No.” 
“Look, people die, and that’s part of the gig, right?” Chim says as he sits next to you. “See, your problem is, you're looking at every job like it's a long-term relationship. They're one-night stands, man. In that moment, they mean everything to you, but once the morning comes... it's on to the next one.”
“How silly of me to think you’d say something productive,” you roll your eyes.
Chim furrows his brows. “What?”
“You’re such a man,” you say to Chim, then turn to Buck. “Look, dude, we all go through it, and you just have to figure out a way to deal with it,.” You pause. “You know why we wear these uniforms?”
“Sex appeal?” Chim answers, which earns him a quick kick to the shin from you. 
“So people can easily identify us,” Buck responds. 
“That’s true, but… I don’t know, I like to think it’s because when we take it off, we can leave it all behind us. Right now, you’re firefighter Buckley, but when your shift is over, you’re Buck. It just… symbolizes letting go, I guess.”
“I see his face every time I close my eyes,” Buck says. “Does that happen to you?” 
“It’ll pass,” you promise. 
“And if it doesn’t?”
You stare at Buck for a moment. It’s hard to imagine that this is the same man who mouthed off to a police Sergeant mere weeks ago. 
“Then you talk someone,” you eventually say. “A friend, a therapist, a bartender… you find a way to let it out, and then you let it go.”
 
Once again, you don’t see Buck for hours. You heard on the scanner that the 118 responded to several rescue calls, none requiring an RA unit. You spent the rest of your shift bouncing from call to call and ER to ER, seeing everything from stab wounds to childbirth. It’s shifts like this that remind you why you do what you do. It’s chaotic, stressful, and bloody, but it is fun. After a certain point, you don’t even have to use your brain; the adrenaline in your veins kicks your brain into autopilot, and your pounding heart is just along for the ride. 
You step into the communal locker room, completely exhausted. You still have to change, and considering everything you’ve witnessed, you should probably shower too. Most of all, you want to go home and crawl into your bed. 
Buck is sitting on the bench in the locker room, similar to how he was a few weeks ago after he was ‘fired.’ Just like you, he’s still wearing his uniform. His head is bowed between his shoulders as his elbows rest on his knees. This time, his head doesn’t perk up when you open your locker. 
“I heard you used The Manuever today,” you spark the conversation. “Nice save.”
Buck finally looks up and then chuckles quietly. “Yeah, if only I could’ve done that a few days ago.” 
You take a seat next to him. “Still thinking about Devon, huh?” 
“I’m trying not to, I just…” Buck says, then cuts himself off as he shakes his head. 
“It’s easier said than done,” you conclude. 
“Yeah.” 
“Yeah,” you agree. 
Both of you sit in comfortable silence for a few moments. You open your mouth a few times only to close it. You don’t want to tell this story; you hate even thinking about it. But if you’re going to sit here and tell Buck that he has to let things go, you have to do the same. It’s only fair. 
“The first person I lost… her name was Katherine Vanec. She was 17 years old, wearing a University of Washington shirt, white shorts, and black Converse High Tops. We got a call from her mother, who was at work when she started getting strange texts from Katherine. It was supposed to be a welfare check, and when the cops got there, they found her locked in her bedroom. When fire and rescue broke down the door, she had a .22 caliber revolver pressed to her temple.”
“Jesus,” Buck mutters. 
“Katherine had a history of Borderline Personality Disorder and suicidal ideation. She figured out that her high school sweetheart had been cheating on her for almost a year. They made plans together, I guess — they were gonna go to the same school, find a place off-campus to live together. He pulled the rug right out from under her, and she couldn’t take it.”
“So what happened?”
You smile sadly. “By the time we arrived, a negotiator had been talking to her for almost ten minutes. They thought she was in a good spot that all she had to do was put the gun down, and we would swoop in and 5150 her.”
“Involuntary admission,” Buck says. 
“Yeah,” you confirm. “That didn’t happen. When the negotiator asked her to set the gun down, she lost it. She kept talking about how every time before, she chickened out, and she couldn’t let that happen again. She turned the gun on us.”
“Suicide by cop.”
You nod as a few tears well in your eyes. Even all these years later, that case haunts you. “Her finger wasn’t near the trigger; she didn’t want to hurt anyone. She just didn’t want to be alive anymore, and she couldn’t think of another way out. I can still hear the sound of the bullets tearing through her.” 
“Why are you telling me this?” Buck asks softly. 
You wipe at your eyes and clear your throat. “Let it out and let it go,” you answer, then nudge his shoulder with yours. “Your turn.” 
Buck smiles; the expression is bittersweet. “I keep replaying what happened. I can’t shake this feeling that there’s something else I could’ve done. Maybe I could have grabbed his arm, or maybe there’s something I could’ve said differently.”
“Or maybe, no matter what you did, it was always going to end that way,” you suggest quietly. “Maybe he felt the same way Katherine did—like he had no other way out. We can try to rescue people, but we can’t make them want to be alive. Some people just don’t want to be saved, Buck.” 
“That really sucks.”
You laugh. “Yeah, it does. I guess that’s why we have each other; it makes it suck a little less.” 
“‘Each other’ as in you and me?” Buck asks in a lighthearted tone. 
You roll your eyes, but secretly, you’re thankful for the change of pace. “‘Each other’ as in the 118, which technically includes you and me.” 
“Sounds like a copout.” 
You laugh and clap a hand on Buck’s shoulder before standing. “Have a good night, Buck.”
You make it to the doorway before he says your name. You look back at him. 
“Thank you,” he says softly. 
You bite your lip, but it isn’t enough to conceal your smile. “Anytime.” 
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likeafantasy · 2 years ago
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25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (4/25) ↳ spirited (2022)
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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shannonsketches · 7 months ago
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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hood-ex · 6 months ago
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hi! can you tell me how old dick was in battle for the cowl and then when he was batman to damian's robin?
Based on Tim and Jason's ages, Dick was prob mid-twenties. Like 25/26. He was probably the same age during both events since they happened near each other.
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orpheuslament · 1 year ago
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on the way back from the gym i saw two teenage girls on scooters in the middle of the road & they kept crossing each other & interlocking their feet & they looked like they were having so much fun i hope they have the best summer of their life
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halogalopaghost · 9 months ago
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#IM SO STRESSED IM SO STRESSED#I feel like I'm not handling ANYTHING well rn#so many people have symptoms that are WAAAAAAY fucking worse and they're like. working full time jobs and being a parent and shit and#I'm like waaah oh no I have body aches and chronic fatigue looks like I'll have to be unemployed and never do anything ever 💀#how am I gonna live?? like. my parents are taking care of me and I'm so fucking glad but#SOMEDAY THEY WONT BE AROUND and that stresses me out so bad#I'm 25 years old and I NEED my mom every day if not physically then emotionally because I'm a little bitch baby that can't do anything for#herself. im having a hard time feeding myself I'm having a hard time keeping my living space clean#I'm not taking care of anything except the dogs sometimes and my lizard and she's not getting as much attention as she used to#I need a job and I need to be able to suck it up and DO THINGS but I feel like I'm not the person u was anymore#I was strong and I could push thru things and make myself do things and now I can't???? I just lay on the fucking couch!! and feel bad abtit#is it the tism. is it the ADHD. what about the chronic depression. how bout the fibromyalgia?#and the thing is that ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MILD#I don't have severe pain (yet).#I just can't handle it I don't WANT to handle it#so. shoutout to my mom I guess because if it wasn't for her I simply wouldn't be alive#I feel like I've never been happy!! why can't I just be content and be happy!!!!#I have no fucking reason to be unhappy!!!!!!
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sparklehoard · 2 months ago
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Aaah. So it's neverending huh.
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yanderespamton78 · 6 months ago
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the current state of the arg
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sorry guys the art isnt arting D:
(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)
#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it#i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it#idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters#im too stressed to scheme lol#maybe#just maybe#i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious#...#naaaaahhhh#i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite#this morning i was absolutely radiating stress#i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol#i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too#i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed#not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig#ugh#if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333#and i wont finish the animation <333333333#(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc#i make word docs when im stressed /hj#quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do#about it /gen#because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this#i swear to god#LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days#ough#turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down
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thecedarchronicle · 3 months ago
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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downsteepy · 3 months ago
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i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure
#if i had them everyday or every other day i would be so fucked 😭#id like to say they dont bother me per se but the entire week after is laying in bed after 11 pm and wondering if jts going to happen again#bc my head feels like its about to explode#and then do not get me started on the fear of getting in the shower within the first few days of one happening .#reasonably i understand that my seizures happen from 11pm to maybe 3 am on average .#but ill have a seizure and then have to hype myself up for like 2 hours just to take one 3 days later st like 2 pm#my seizures do not interfere with my day to day life in extreme ways but existing knowing that i have them during a certain time frame is#like. Hey man can you grow up#also it is really funny being told theyre probably hormonal or stress related and should 'probably stop' as i get into my mid 20s .#Well im turning 25 next month and evidently i still have seizure activity in me#also also heres a fun fact: my epilepsy does not have an actual named diagnosis they just said i certainly have a Form of it ❤️#they dont know what causes them and i have no real warning signs (bc a headache =/= potential seizure)#they dont bother me but i do have to live with the knowledge that i could have one any day now and wake up to my mom asking me questions#hope everyone can tell i have a lot of feelings about my epilepsy despite not talking about it like ever ❤️#the only thing that really bothers me is the no warning signs. ive been perfectly fine and had them. ive had massive migraines when i was#unmedicated and didnt have one. very bizarre#and ofc all my brain scans come back normal all the time so they dgaf Lol
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bunnihearted · 6 months ago
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🫎
#this place drives me crazy....#i notice it esp bc when im outside and feel a tiny bit better#(unfortunately this city is a nightmare for a hypervigilant like me to live bc theres crazyyy much noise 24/7)#but my home has for the first 23yrs of my life been a noise wise calm place to wind down and be safe and relax#but a couple of years ago there was like a shift and everyone who moves in here are crazy#my neighbors are constantly stomping banging and thumping. constantly.......#people outside are always screaming and yelling and slamming doors and everything u can do#they let their kids run around and scream like demons and throw rocks on cats and piss on the walls#and they go around with metal pipes or sticks and hit everything#like.... im sorry if u wanna call me a childhater for saying thats fucked up then go ahead#that's not sane behavior and the parents dont raise their kids anymore#constant yelling.... anyway#we have a clan of ppl who do lots of illegal things which is above all NOISYYYYYY#they make shit in the apartment above me and then live in another and then large moving trucks come and pick it up#?????? if u wanna call me a stuck up karen for thinking thats not ok to do to your neighbors go ahead!!!!!! im a bitter bitch#i dont think it's ok to cause such disturbance to your neighbors they cant sleep or exist in peace but thats just me ig!!!!!#these ppl living here are batshit insane bc i've been here for 25 and it's never been like this#and i mean it's MY problem for being noise sensitive ofc#but i feel like my brain is CONSTANTLY always being overstimulated and i can barely function anymore#i like legit wanna kms just to escape all this noise#i dont get any quiet moment ever#not even in the middle of the night there is always some human making noise and causing a disturbance#a few years ago it could be dead quiet in the middle of the day#what has happened im losing my miiiiiiind i wanna dieeeeeeeee#what happens when i reach a point where my brain just overcooks and i explode?#what will i do? what will i do when i lose control sksksk that shit scares me i dont wanna see#i cant live like this but im stuck and i dont know how to get out#and my mom was in a smaller city the other day and she said it was a crazy amount of noise yhere to#what do i do? whrre do i go???? i might jusy have to go deaf or smth i cant do this
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 month ago
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just a few little bits from the past few days
#both the word count screenshots are from the same day - just different sections of the text. so that was like 4000 words in#one DAY.. huzzah!! (< making up for the fact that I did 0 words the 3 days before that lol.. so its not actually an accomplishment ghjjh)#In renpy I think you can have multiple separate texty cody whatever documents and still jump between them so long as they;re#labeled properly. Rather than like... having one extremely long 60.000 line file where in some places youre in a menu within a menu#within a menu within a menu within a menu within a menu within a menu jhbhj#But that was the way I started doing it lke 5 years ago when I actually made the base of everything so I feel like it'd be too much#work to change it all that dramatically now. But that means I cant just get the word count for the whole document I just have#to jump around to the few sections I worked on and highlight them to get the word count for only that portion#.. the one tiny fraction of the whole monster text wall. Though it is of course spaced out and organized into#clearly labeled sections within that because otherwise I have trouble discerning text on a screen. still.#Resuming a project that's been basically abandoned for 4-5 ish years is just always finding weird stuff like.. why did I do this that way..#why did I write that... why did I organize that in this manner... what the hell am I referencing in this note... etc. lol#Anyway... also......................cat with plum on his head.#everyone point and laugh at mr. plum head boy..!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:3c#I've been obsessed with Calico Critters' social media presence from afar (like how I mentioned one of my possible dream jobs would#be to be the person that sets the scenes and arranges all the toy animals at a tiny little table and etc. to take the type of pictures they#post on their facebook page and stuff) and I see all their photos of them posing the rabbits as if they're in a swimming pool#or on a nature hike or etc. etc. BUT I have never really seen them in person. Recently I was at a store (in a KN95 mask and not staying#very long still of course. wastewater covid levels are still high where I live (and most of the US truly)) and it just crossed my mind#to actually go to the toy section and see if I could find any....wow.... Its like meeting a celebrity.. the Latte Cats....#Of course I didnt buy them because they're like... very expensive?? like $25 - $40 just for one little pack of a few critters like#what is shown. but.... I still got to see them................ my beloved.. I want their outfits... T o T#Oh and then lastly just a pot of purple clover looking things. I just think theyre neat lol#photo diary
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago
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...
#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart#on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me#but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents#leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing#if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney#at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious#intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops#functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant#obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom#but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills#it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was#meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood#but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual.#i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more#we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week#its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die#so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her#computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to#before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the#feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird#unrelated
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j-esbian · 4 months ago
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thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up
#day to day doesn’t feel like much but. oh no it’s been like fully a decade#i wish therapy wasn’t so expensive#bc for a while i was on meds (that. didn’t do much tbh.) but that made me feel like i was Treating It so i was making progress#spoiler alert it did not. and now the fact that i’ve wasted so much of my life is making it worse#bc everyone else i know has like. lives and people in them#and i pretty much just have my parents. and my mom is also going through it#i have relied SO much on them and that also feels bad!!! feels like i’ve taken advantage of them!!!!!#i know people talk about how much it messes w your memory but i figured it was short term bc the days all blend together#i literally had a moment yesterday where i forgot i went to college at all#the whole thing feels like a missed opportunity bc i didn’t do anything i wanted to really#i was too afraid to go to clubs that looked interesting. i didn’t think practically abt what i was studying#i mostly didn’t have roommates but when i did i was Bad At It#i managed to go through the whole time only speaking to like. three people#so you can see how it’s kind of. completely forgettable#i have worked jobs bc it’s a paycheck. never really enjoyed them never really made friends (even tho now i’m kicking myself for not keeping#in touch with some people) but i have always kept a very strong work/life division even in school#because i was there to do a Specific Thing so that’s all that matters yknow#anyway. sometimes i DO wish i could go back to high school bc even tho it sucked. it was structured#and i had resources and more time to try things and like. a life outside of my computer. a little bit#yknow. i feel like people have more sympathy if you’re anxious abt everything and never gone outside#when you’re 16 as opposed to 25
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