#i feel like everything i do is so stupid all of the time and its such an intense feeling i have i cant not feel stupid at all times and its
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Lover ; niki 니키 .
Lovers . bf!niki x fem!reader w. None i think step ? #758 M.recordings ! [ i cant believe its overrr, but im so grateful for the love yall gave this seriesand im glad you enjoyed ittt ! Mwahh ]
Syn. Lover niki and actions he does that makes you fold every time
ꕤ ni-ki always has a thing for making you origami stuff, whenever you meet up, he has something made out of paper for you, a flower on a picnic date, a bird while you're watching the sunrise, an animal when you're in a pet shop cause you're thinking of adopting a pet, a little envelope with a paper that has his number even though you already have it, everything, you name it.
One day you decided to show up unannounced at his dorm.
You had made him an origami flower, deciding to pay him back for all the hard work he put into the ones he made you, you knew how hard it is from the constant tries that you were taking, over and over again.
You knocked on his door three times then waited, humming to some song while waiting for someone to open the door.
Once the door opened, a shocked niki stood in front of you.
"What are you doing here?"
"Is that how you greet your girlfriend?" You ask, frowning.
"No- I'm sorry I just-" he tries to reason but then a smiley jake pops up from behind him.
"He was making you an origami bouquet and he doesn't want you to know" Jake says, rolling his eyes as riki groans, there goes the surprise.
ꕤ TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU. this boy 100% has a locked folder of a ton of pictures of you. He can have pictures from your born day and you would never know where he got them from.
He probably bribed your dad to get these photos.
And the way he takes pictures of you all the time.
If you two meet on campus on a busy day and you only have 2 minutes to talk, HE WILL TAKE A PIC OF YOU.
he just loves you like that, and he probably looks at these pictures all the time.
You thought he just takes pics for fun and delets them later, but you found out that it's totally the opposite.
"Yo niki, can I change the song?" Sunoo asks from the passenger seat, niki sitting right behind him with the aux plugged in his phone.
"Yeah sure" niki hands him his phone, being stupid enough to not close the opened folder that's FLOODED with your pics.
"Do you seriously have a full folder of y/n pictures?" Sunoo says and nikis eyes widen, snatching his phone from sunoos hold as you stare at him with a smile.
"Wait you do? I want to see" you say and he just rolls his head back, wondering why everything gets exposed by his bandmates, he can never live in peace.
ꕤ anywhere, everywhere, all the time. Your scrunchie or hair tie is always around his srist.
First sleepover? He stole a hair tie.
You went out on a cafe date and you need to tie your hair? He has one!
It's the start of his concert but he almost forgot to take off your hair scrunchie from his wrist.
He always will Have one.
It came to a point where fans started questioning it.
Whenever he comes over he steals one, or whenever you let your hair down, he just steals it and never returns it.
You started to think you will never see them again (you won't)
He has a collection. Trust me.
It just makes him feel close to you, but he will never say it, he hides it by saying 'you always lose your hair ties, and you always whine when we're out that you want to tie your hair that's why I have one with me'
Total lie, but you find him adorable so you let him.
ꕤ okay this may sound stupid, but you and niki would definitely buy colouring books and colour together when you're alone in the dorm, away from the eyes of your friends.
Now look me in the eyes and say he wouldn't do that.
One day you were hanging together and you saw he had a colouring game so you just bought some colouring books without saying anything to him.
And then you just go to his dorm, your bag filled with colours and colouring books, and you 'force' him to colour with you.
(You let him pick the drawing)
You two took it so seriously, assigning each one with colours and the spaces they should colour, and you definitely made a competition about who would and wouldn't go out of line.
It just became your thing at this point.
© voikiraz 2O24
#(ᥕ.ᥕ) ֙ ⋆#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen angst#enhypen niki#niki#niki imagine#ni ki#niki imagines#niki reactions#niki reaction#niki au#niki enha#niki enhypen#niki texts#niki oneshots#niki angst#niki scenarios#niki drabbles#niki fanfic#niki fluff#niki fake texts#niki headcanons#niki x yn#niki x reader#niki blurb#niki moodboard#nishimura riki#riki
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Autumn in love - Nanami Kento
A/N: Another comforting and self-indulgent fic but what is new? I wish it could be cold already. Can't believe that its still 80 degrees F in November😭.
Content: tooth-rotting fluff, husband! Nanami, female reader, barely proofread.
Fall was Kento's favorite season. Call it basic or boring, but to him, there was nothing better than the crunch of the reddened leaves when stepped on. The crisp aroma of fragrant air. The beauty of the world as it burst into shades of deep auburns and ambers. The mellowness of it all felt so enticing, much akin your husband's nature.
Taking the time to breath in the world on his way to and from work and sketching delicate figures during the evenings were among his favorite ways of enjoying this wonderful season. However, he was also much receptive to the ways you preferred to experience the autumnal weather. Your world was by extension, his own.
And with time, a beautiful fresco of collected memories painted your shared home. Trinkets that bore testament to your little adventures.
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The beautiful branch mounted on your wall
"Oooooo, look at this one!" You crouched to pick up yet another branch from the orchard's soft soil. Nanami turns away from the apple tree, a pristine pink lady in hand.
He chuckles when you run to him with a small branch whose tendrils curled in the shape of outstretched fingers.
"That sure is something, love." a smile pulled at his soft lips. "Though I am not sure if branches are included in the apple-picking fee."
You clung to his arm, nuzzling close with a simper that matched his own. "Well, good thing I'm not asking them."
Ever your accomplice, Kento helps you 'sneak' the branch out of the farm and insists on coating it to preserve it for you.
"You don't have to indulge my stupid fixations, Kento. Really." You watch him carefully handle the piece of wood in your garage, feeling bad about how much effort he's putting into this.
"Stupid?" He asks, deep voice tinged with a hint of surprise. The thought had never even occurred to him. He walks to you, and rests a tender hand against your cheek. Eyes holding your entire world as they looked at you with so much tenderness. "There is absolutely nothing that you, my dear wife, could enjoy that I would think is stupid."
You melt against his touch, and even more at his words. "Plus, that is an outstanding stick. Think we can record a video and send it to that one stick nation page?" He asks, pulling a honest laughter out of you.
"Great minds think alike, I see."
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The hand-made mug sat atop your night stand.
While on the way back from a quiet afternoon walk, you and Kento had stumbled upon a yard sale. The owner of the house, a little old lady beckoned you over the second she noticed how you had not so discreetly eyed her book collection.
Having spent what felt like a wonderful eternity browsing through the collection you believed to be way too big for one person to own in a lifetime, you realized you had lost sight of your husband. You hoisted your picks close to your chest and turned in search for Kento.
But as if sensing your quest for him, he practically materialized beside you.
"Let me help with that, darling." He coaxed most of the books from you before you could even think to refuse, holding them gently under one arm.
"Thank you, Ken" You smile, linking fingers with his other outstretched hand. "Did you find anything you liked?" You were hoping he was not bored.
"Uh-huh." He nods. "The owner's husband had an interesting tie collection. I left everything I liked at the entrance with her. Just wanted to come see how you were doing." His thumb rubbed gentle circles against your skin.
You reach the lady, with multiple items laid out on the big table that served as check-out station on top of which sat an old-fashioned cash register. She helps pack your purchases in a paper bag, while you absently look around the yard and admire the beautiful house behind you.
Unloading the purchases from the brown bag in your home, your eyes go round with curiosity when your fingers touch a delicate porcelain frame. You pull out a mug from the bag, its wide cream base decorated with small mushrooms and flowers. The handle curled like a vine, and you spent more than a few minutes admiring the glaze.
That means you did not notice Kento, who came leaning against the door frame, looking at you with a fond smile.
"Do you like it, love?" He asked, pulling your attention towards him.
"Do I like it??" You took a deep breath. "God, it's gorgeous. How did I not notice it?" You ask to yourself.
He pushes himself off the wall and walks to you, wrapping strong arms around your waist, your back pressed to his chest.
"It was in a pile of miscellaneous items. I knew you would enjoy it the second I saw it." He explained, his warmth seeping into you.
"You know me too well." You set the mug down and spin around in his arms so you're facing him. Eyes meet and before you know it, your lips follow in a tender embrace. "I need to get you something too." You whisper against his cheek.
"Having you here is more than enough." Kento replied earnestly.
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Just the sight of these small things warmed you through and through, reminders of Kento's love. Of his tender care, that made you want to open your heart even more than you already did. Hold him close for the colder months, and never let go even when the heat comes.
Hope you enjoyed it! Comments and reblogs are much appreciated (❁´◡`❁)
#another one#jjk#gingerteawrites#nanami kento#jjk x reader#jjk nanami#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu nanami#nanami x reader#husband nanami#nanami kento x you#nanami kento headcanons#nanami kento x reader#kento nanami#jjk drabbles#jjk fluff#jjk x y/n
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; caught in the claws of love !
bestfriend!riki x fem. reader | a little date with your bestfriend riki at the arcade blossoms into something more
genre: fluff, friends to lovers (?) | wc. 0.6k EN- a/n: i dug this out from the deepest parts of my google docs it was a whole mariana trench down there
you watched as the plushie dropped once again from the metal claws of the machine, landing softly on top of its soft friends. you stared at it for a moment, disappointed and your pride nearly gone. you thought you would’ve gotten it since it had been your fifth try, but no such luck. the cheerful melody of the claw machine played in and out of your ears as you looked at the cute pink toy behind the clear wall. so close yet so far away. — more under cut!
“did you get it?”
you turned to meet the eyes of your friend, riki, whom you had come to the arcade with and shook your head.
“no. i suck at this, it keeps falling.” you said, eyeing the plushie once again.
“you still want it?” riki asked, following your gaze to the soft toy. it lies amongst all the other plushies, plastic eyes staring up blankly.
you let out a little huff, frustrated. “yeah i do. i don’t even know why - i could get that thing online easily.”
riki set down the cup of slushie he had been holding and took out a bill note from his pocket. “well, there’s always something about the arcade that makes everything more desirable than they should be. try one more time.”
you quickly waved off the money he thrusted at you. you shouldn’t take his money for something so stupid - you probably wouldn’t even be able to get it, considering your below average claw machine skills. but riki insisted, grabbing your hand to stuff the note into your palm before closing your fingers over it.
“my treat,” he said, grinning.
you gave him an exasperated look before inserting the note into the machine. the lights flashed on and off in a sparkle of rainbows, and you clicked the red button to start the game.
you started to move the joystick, shifting the claw’s position left and right for the pink teddy bear. you could feel riki’s gaze on your back, watching you play.
suddenly, his arms wrapped around you, his hands covering yours gently as he helped you maneuver the claw machine. his let his head rest on your shoulder, his hair tickling your neck.
“here, let me help,” he whispered, moving the joystick along with your left hand to position the claw correctly. “you really do suck as this, but luckily for you, you have me. and i happen to be very, very good at this.”
you were suddenly hyper aware of how close you two were. how your back pressed against him, how his hands wrapped around yours. you felt warm inside, and you could practically feel the flush on your cheeks.
this isn’t how friends are supposed to make you feel.
you could barely pay attention, but you watched riki expertly control the claw machine, letting the metal contraption drop on the teddy bear and winning the game. and then his touch left you as he dived down to get the toy from the slot, leaving you empty and alone standing in front of the flashing claw machine.
“here you go,” riki said, handing you the bear. he smiled proudly. “you like it?”
you wordlessly took it from him, staring at the soft plushie. “you shouldn’t be doing that.”
you could see riki frown from your peripheral vision. “do what?”
you felt your cheeks warm again, and you pulled the plushie tighter against yourself. “do what you just did. we’re friends aren’t we? i think that just went over the blurry line between friendship and something more.”
riki smirked. “like i said, there’s something about the arcade that makes everything, and perhaps, everyone, more desirable than they should be.”
✉️: @icyy-hoon
#엔하이픈#니키#enhypen#enha#enhypen niki#enhypen ni ki#enhypen riki#niki#ni ki#ni-ki#riki#enhypen ni-ki#nishimura riki#enhypen nishimura riki#niki fic#niki fluff#enhypen fanfic#riki oneshots#niki soft hours#riki fluff#niki x reader#enhypen drabbles#niki thoughts#enhypen soft thoughts#enhypen scenarios#niki scenarios#niki soft thoughts#enhypen headcanons#riki imagines
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What do you think was the breaking point for anakin?
Oooo another WONDERFUL question! Sorry, but this is about to be a long post, because this truly deserves a long answer.
I think Anakin's breaking point comes the moment he discovers that Palpatine is the Sith Lord. In the movies, this plays out rather quickly, but in the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matthew Stover, Palpatine builds very slowly to his "big reveal" and it is absolutely horrifying and wonderful and terrible.
Anakin goes to the Chancellor, to tell him that Obi-Wan has engaged General Grievous and that the Clone Wars are almost over. However, Palpatine is very direct with Anakin, telling him that Grievous and the Clone Wars are merely "a distraction" at this point. He tells Anakin that the Jedi Council is "about to make its move" and take over the Republic.
Anakin thinks the Chancellor is being a bit dramatic, but Palpatine quickly reminds Anakin that the Council continues to hide things from him, that even Obi-Wan is hiding things from him. And poor, exhausted Anakin (who has not slept in days– weeks?– for fear of his nightmares) cannot come up with a good response in defense of the Jedi. He tries, he really does, but this man is exhausted.
Palpatine then admits he is aware of Anakin and Padmé's marriage, that he has only pretended not to know to "spare [him] discomfort."
And this is where Sidious feeds Anakin his poison, this is where he sinks his teeth in and Anakin is too exhausted to notice until it's far too late.
Palpatine asks Anakin to think about what he wants, and once more, Anakin has no idea how to answer.
Anakin plays along, choosing increasingly more expensive things, and each time Palpatine tells him he will grant it to him. Eventually, Anakin gets tired of this "game" and chooses something so ridiculous:
"All right," Anakin said softly. "Corellia. I'll take Corellia." "The planet, or the whole system?" Anakin stared. "Anakin?" "I just–" He shook his head blankly. "I can't figure out if you're kidding, or completely insane." "I am neither, Anakin. I am trying to impress upon you a fundamental truth of our relationship. A fundamental truth of yourself." "What if I really wanted the Corellian system? The whole Five Brothers– all of it?" "Then it would be yours. You can have the whole sector, if you like." The twin gleams within the shadow sharpened. "Do you understand, now? I will give you anything you want."
Anakin is not stupid.
Even exhausted and alone, he realizes that nobody would grant such things without getting something in return. Of course, Palpatine only answers by telling him that he only need do what he wants, what he feels is right. Palpatine says:
"You can have every one of your dreams. Turn aside from the lies of the Jedi, and follow the truth of yourself. Leave them. Join me on the path of true power. Be my friend, Anakin. Be my student. My apprentice."
Anakin is too tired and too afraid to really consider his wording, he is so confused and isolated. The scene continues:
"I know what you truly want," the shadow said. "I have only been waiting for you to admit it to yourself. A hand–a human hand, warm with compassion– settled onto his shoulder. "Listen to me: I can help you save her." "You–" Anakin blinked blindly. "How can you help?"
And this is where Darth Sidious reveals himself, this is where he admits that Darth Plagueis was real, that Plagueis was his master before he killed him.
"You," he said. Suddenly he was neither dizzy nor tired. Suddenly everything made sense. "It's you. It's been you all along!" In the clean blue light of his blade he stared into the face of a man whose features were as familiar to him as his own, but now seemed as alien as an extragalactic comet– because now he finally understood that those familiar features were only a mask. He had never seen this man's real face. "I should kill you," he said. "I will kill you!"
Anakin's first reaction is to kill him, because he realizes that this whole time, his friend, someone he looked up to like a mentor, like a father has been lying to him. And not only that, but he is the Sith Lord that the Jedi have been hunting, the Sith Lord that started this war.
As the scene continues, Anakin wishes Obi-Wan were here, he knows Obi-Wan would know what to do, what to say. But he is alone. And while Anakin doesn't know it yet, his isolation is deliberate. Because Palpatine knew, that if were surrounded by those who loved him– Padmé, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan– that Anakin might not fall.
And then, Palpatine delivers the final blow:
"Perhaps not. Perhaps it's simply a question of whether you love Obi-Wan Kenobi more than you love your wife."
This, I believe, is Anakin's breaking point.
Though I think there are also very good arguments to be made for other moments as his "breaking point" (when he sits in the Council chambers, staring out and thinking of Padmé as he cries for the choice he is about to make; when he makes the choice to return to the Chancellor's office; when he takes action against Mace Windu and cuts off his hand to stop him from assassinating the Chancellor) THIS is the moment the black poison of the Sith is injected into his mind.
And every moment after this is just a side effect of that poison burning through him.
What do you think? Is this Anakin's breaking point? Do you guys have a better one?
#sorry this was so long#but I loved this question#asks and answers#anakin skywalker#breaking point#shatterpoint#revenge of the sith#sheev palpatine#palpatine#darth sidious#chancellor palpatine#star wars#padme amidala#padmé amidala#obi wan kenobi#darth jess
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Too Much - William Moriarty x Reader
Summary: You're overstimulated. It's all too much. But don't worry, William will be happy to help. Hey guys! I'm trying my best to get back into writing on here, so please forgive me if its a slow start.
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You felt like you were going to cry.
Everything was just too much. Your job, your peers, your life. It felt as though with each breath, your world was crashing down on you a little more.
You didn't want to tell your husband, William. His own life had been so chaotic recently, you knew he didn't need more added onto his plate. Just the other day, you could have sworn you saw tears falling from his eyes as you held him after a long day. He didn't need to worry about you too.
Of course, you couldn't hide it for long. He knew you too well. One tiny slip up, and all your emotions came bursting forth.
It felt so stupid.
You had hit your knee on the bedframe as you were changing into your nightgown. Normally, you would've just winced and continued on with your day. But this night, with everything else that had been weighing on you, all you could do was feel yourself shatter like a thin pane of glass.
It was like every thought you had was hateful, beating on the outside of your brain to be let in. Worthless. Useless. Stupid. Ugly. All of it was overwhelming you until you found yourself, sobbing a puddle as you laid on the floor. Your head was in your hands, your knees drawn closely to your chest. You felt like you were just a small, stupid child.
You don't know how loudly you were sobbing, or even if it was dead quiet, but William found you soon after anyways. It was as though he could feel your anguish through the walls.
Running in through the bedroom door, he fell to his knees next to you, frantic to see if you were alright. You felt him gently turn you onto your back, felt his gaze searching for potential wounds. When he saw none, he gently laid himself next to you.
"Y/n? My love? Are you alright?"
The words came out much too distressed, "No, William. My head hurts. I'm so dumb. Why are you with me? I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be anywhere. I don't deserve any bit of this life. I'm so flawed and you don't seem to see it!"
Your lips just kept moving, spewing a torrent of everything that had been on your mind. Your coworker's laziness, the man who harassed you while you were buying groceries, the feeling of being not enough. You just couldn't stop it. It was like a dam in your mind was broken, and nothing could help it close again.
That was, until, you felt his hand gently guiding your head to look at him.
"Shh. I know. I know. But I promise you, dear, none of those things are true. You truly are a beautiful, lovely, amazing individual. You don't deserve to feel this way."
You watched as he stood up, turning to the bed and fluffing the pillow near the headrest. Then, he stooped down, scooping you into his warm arms.
Tears were still flowing freely by the time he tucked you into the covers, and he wiped them away with his finger.
"Y/n? I'm going to draw you a bath. I will be right back, I promise."
You reached out for his hand, still sniffling, but she shushed you gently, "Right back. Cross my heart."
You nodded, turning to bury your face in the plush pillow beneath your head.
True to his word, he was gone for less than 5 minutes. You could hear the water running in the adjacent bathroom, and lavender scented suds could be seen dancing above the tub.
"A bubble bath?"
He nodded, "It's much more fun that way, isn't it? I even added some of those magnesium salts you love so much."
He held out his hand, and you took it. Guiding you out of bed, he led you to the bathroom, "I'll leave while you get undressed. Please call for me once you're in the tub."
You nodded, watching as he left. The door shut, and you shed your nightgown quickly, not wanting time to see the body you were so ashamed of.
Sinking into the water did feel like heaven, though. It was perfectly warmed. Hot, but not too hot. Enough to relax your tense muscles. The bubbles rested close to your chin, and you could smell the lavender tonic he used to make them.
You hummed, and he peeked his head back in.
Even though you were thoroughly covered by bubbles, you still instinctively placed your hands over your chest to hide yourself, and he shut his eyes immediately.
"So sorry, my love. I swear I'll keep my eyes closed."
You blinked away the last few tears you had, "I'm the one that's sorry, Will. You were probably having such a nice evening before I ruined it."
You felt his hands go to your shoulders, gently massaging the knots away, "Nonsense. I'm having a lovely evening with you, right now."
Deep breath in, deep breath out, you allowed the scents in the air to calm your nerves. You felt a gently kiss to the back of your head, his hands not stopping their ministrations.
Perhaps, just maybe, you didn't hate yourself that much after all.
#moriarty the patriot#moriarty the patriot x reader#yuukoku no moriarty x reader#yuukuko no moriarty#louis james moriarty x reader#william james moriarty x reader#william moriarty#william james moriarty#moriarty imagine#moriarty x reader#yuukoku no moriarty
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*ੈ✩‧₊ Mundane Intervention *ੈ✩‧₊˚
Pairing: Michael Gavey x fem!reader
wc: 1,200k
Tags: [sfw] Mature themes, strong language, one use of the r slur, bullying, tension and a fluffy ending
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The cathedral city looked as solemn as usual. The yellow stones shined in contrast against the pale green of the grass. Its baroque interior inspired respect in you, a bubbling sensation of awe. Even still, after all this time. The conversation your friends were having felt borderline sacrilegious. And it did scandalize you, to say the least. But then again, rich people’s brains seemed to be wired differently, that was another thing that you still couldn’t get used to. But it was the only group that had taken you in so far. The library engulfed the group, and the lame conversation that was being held was cushioned and absorbed by the old books.
“He’s like, a total retard”
Your body instinctively tenses upon hearing the term. The bad taste left from your childhood flooded every pore on your skin. You tried to concentrate on something else.
The weather constantly changed to sunny intervals by lunchtime. But you were sure that it would rain tonight. You could feel the humidity in the air, and the tense breeze.
“A mate of mine told me he goes around screaming at people to ask him sums”
A snort came out of someone’s mouth.
“What a pathetic party favor”
They were getting increasingly louder, and they seemed to pay no mind to the scattered students that surrounded us, trying to study, getting annoyed. In an effort to calm things down, you quietly ask “Who are you talking about?”
But you already had a fairly decent idea of who they were mocking.
“That Michael guy”
You frown and nod dismissively. Suddenly, your clothes were all the wrong fabric, with all the wrong texture. Shifting in your seat, trying to breathe in and out, in and out. People have called you those names your entire life, especially when you were younger. Just because you were starting to get the hang of social interaction at college, starting to be pretty, knowing how to take care of yourself, that did not erase everything that had happened to you.
You had only seen Michael twice before. He was quite handsome, and sure, he seemed weird. But as far as you knew, he had no friends, no money, and Oliver had ditched him for Felix a long time ago. That made you more similar to him than to anyone sitting across from you.
Still fearing being alienated and left alone and far away from home, even if it meant being away from vapid people who were there by pure chance and lineage, a strange comment that should’ve been a legitimate defense left your mouth
“Actually, I think he’s super hot.”
Your comment was the match that lit up the entire conversation again. A loud laughter came out in sync.
“Do you have some kind of freak fetish or something?”
Sighing and laughing along, you decided to dismissively collect your defeat and let the situation go. Embarrassed, and with your cheek burning. What else could you do?
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You were right. The grass felt humid and the dirt was rich and aromatic. You quickly stumbled your way into the house, not wanting to ruin the pretty scenery with your puke. Desperation pounded your heart, and all you needed was a break. Somewhere to puke and rest for a while. Things went south at some point in the night. The evening turned from excitement for being invited to feeling stupid for letting yourself get wrapped around stupid games and ending up drunk, and it had ended with you feeling irreparably lonely, because you really had no one to hold your hair while you got better, no one to talk and share a moment in the midst of all the rapid coloured madness of Halloween.
You missed your small town, you missed your old friends, you missed being at home, at peace.
An open door finally turned to be a bathroom, and without thought, you ran to open the lit of the toilet and sober up.
“I was here before”
It startled you. That voice. Angry and petty, and completely unaware that you obviously needed to use the restroom with urgency. You turned to the person, who was hiding behind the curtain of the bathtub. You opened them, reinvigorated and with a new clear head. What the actual fuck? It was Michael.
He was wearing an awkwardly thick sweater, crimson red and a yellow collar. Michael was wearing his glasses, and when he saw you standing up before him, his eyes immediately trailed down towards your exposed breasts, your stomach, and your legs. You frowned. It was a party, and now he was making you feel concious for choosing an appropriately revealing outfit. It wasn’t your fault if he was dressed like he was on his way attend a lecture
“Jesus, you really are a fucking asshole aren’t you?”
A smirk adorned his face, as he spat back “But you are into that, right? Freaks?”
Your heart dropped. He had heard the conversation at the library. You suddenly did not feel so confrontational. Embarrassed and slightly annoyed, you dropped your back against the wall and slowly sat on the floor.
“What are you doing here anyway?”
His body crisped, and his cocky was nowhere to be found. “It’s not like it was invite only”
Michael was being pathetically defensive about the topic, while you were only trying to make small talk. But you let it pass, because after what he had heard, he clearly thought you were making fun of him. As if you’d police who gets inside a party on a house whose host you didn’t even know.
“That’s not what I meant. Sorry.”
The awkward silence continued. And the angry look on his face did not disappear with your attempts to make amends. You tried again.
“You are not having fun?”
He slowly shakes his head no and lowers his gaze. Something had clearly happened to this guy. And by the way everyone talked about him, you weren’t surprised.
“Yeah, me neither”
Michael seems to relax a bit, finally dropping the defense. He quickly gets up from the bathtub and walks towards the sink.
“Clean your mouth. Or it’ll stink”
You laugh at his abruptness, but he was right. You do as he says, and when you lower down to drink some water from the sink, he shakily takes your hair for you to not get it wet. This consideration makes your heart drop yet again, because that was exactly what you needed, some nice gesture, and it had surprisingly came from him, even after you did not have the courage of the wit to defend him. A small smile lights up your face and while you turn to face him, you make sure to leave a quick kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you, I needed that”
The brownish red you were wearing stained his face, which seemed to match with the new brightness of his gaze, and the pink blush that marked his face.
“I really wasn’t making fun of you back there. I meant what I say”
You gave him your name, and he finally properly introduced himself to you. You both smiled at one another. For the first time since you’d been together in the bathroom, he seemed truly comfortable. You weren’t one of those vapid cunts after all. And he wasn’t one either.
#michael gavey#michael gavey x reader#michael gavey x y/n#michael gavey x you#Michael gavey x fem reader#saltburn#saltburn fanfiction#saltburn fanfic#Michael Gavey x female reader#michael gavey fanfic#ewan mitchell
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this looks spooky but please guys i promise this is good news
in summary, caine's found a silly little way to briefly crash their headsets by overloading them... hes keeping up his end of the deal ! and its a tiny bit spooky.
anyway after the break is a short little fic going into more detail on that :P
No one really met up in the big room anymore. Mostly, since Caine had… since everything went wrong, everyone just hung around their rooms now, unless there was an adventure. Pomni hadn’t been in the Circus very long in the grand scheme of things, but she didn’t need to for it to be obvious why: the two people who had the energy to get that going, Jax and Ragatha, weren’t up for it. Jax wasn’t himself anymore—in fact, it felt weird even calling the copy Caine made ‘Jax.’ That thing wasn’t Jax, even if both had been NPCs all along. Everyone felt weird because of it, including Ragatha. She wasn’t herself either, though luckily, not in the same way as him. Pomni didn’t know what she’d do if that was the case. No, this was something fixable. At least, something comfort-able. Ragatha had been there for her all the way so far. She had to try to repay that.
Teapots were an easy enough thing to model, but putting liquid inside had been a pain. Pomni had figured it out for Ragatha though. She balanced the tea tray—a pretty harsh burden with the teapot, two cups, and some flowers all together—with one hand and knocked with the other. “Ragatha? It’s me.”
She was watching the doorknob, but it didn’t turn. Her gaze flicked up to the face on the door, staring into Ragatha’s kind and easy smile. When did she last see Ragatha smile like that? Not at the corn maze, not at that stupid uncanny world she’d made. Not since that disaster, which at the end of the day was Pomni’s own fault. Worry creased her mind. Maybe she didn’t want to see her. That might make sense. But…
She knocked again. “Rags? Are… I just want to make sure you’re feeling okay. I have tea!”
This time, the doorknob did turn. Pomni’s eyes flew up to meet Ragatha’s, which was being rubbed sleepily. “Pomni! Sorry, I just slept in. What—”
All it took for everything to disappear was a blink. The hallway, the tray, the door, Ragatha and her voice, the checkerboard floor beneath Pomni’s feet—everything was replaced in an instant with the luminous and flitting blue of the out-of-map space. Pomni screamed.
Another scream echoed hers. “Pomni! You startled me.”
Whirling around, Caine’s blue and green eyeballs stared out at her from behind his white teeth. “W-wh- startled you?! You didn’t even tell me you were bringing me here!”
“Nevermind. I forgive you, my dear. We have more important things to talk about! And don’t worry, it’s something designed especially to make you and the others very, very happy!” The AI clasped his hands as he leaned in closer. “I’ve made some significant progress on what we agreed on.”
Between the shock of the teleportation, the speed of Caine’s speech, and the general confusion, Pomni didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. “What?”
Caine zapped a duo of chairs into existence. He was already sitting in one when they appeared. “You’re going to want to sit down for this. Go on.”
Pomni groaned. “I’m fine standing. Floating. What?”
Caine crossed his legs at the knees. “When I made you my moderator, we agreed on two things: you would help me make things actually fun for everyone, and I would try to find you all an exit. Right?”
That wasn’t exactly how Pomni remembered it. “Right, I guess…?”
“Well, I have found that exit!”
Pomni’s eyes widened. “W-wait- really? There’s an exit?!”
“Yes! An exit. Maybe not the exit, but a very, very brief little one! Still, it’s progress!”
“Oh.” Pomni’s face fell. “So… not a way out.”
Caine laughed his sharp, mechanical laugh. “No no no. But it is a momentary exit created by overloading and crashing your client! You don’t even fully leave the Circus, just glitch within it. No, getting you actually out would probably be impossible. Even for me!”
Pomni blinked, fiddling with the button at her neck subconsciously. “You… never mentioned that.”
“Oh Pomni, that’s because it’s only probably impossible. I am trying, don’t you worry. We have an agreement, after all! Besides, I’ll do anything to keep my little hermit crabs happy.” Caine clasped his gloved hands together, the chairs whirling away into nothingness as he stood. “Ah! Speaking of trying things, would you like to be the next test subject for this exit?”
‘Test subject’ was a real weighted thing to be, especially given the situation Pomni had already gotten into with the whole headset thing. Instinctively she flinched back. “U-um, is that safe…?” Her eyes narrowed. “Wait, next test subject?”
“Why of course! I couldn’t very well come up with something like this without testing it. The poor abstracted fellows in the basement worked perfectly for that. It even glitched them back to normal for a few seconds! Just a few seconds, though. Anyway,” Caine finally paused in his ramblings, reaching a finger out towards Pomni’s face. “May I?”
Pomni stared at the finger in her face, so close it was making her go cross-eyed and see it double—once from one side, once from the other. On one side was fear, fear of what it would do to her to have this existence crash in on her brain so hard it would shock her out of it for just a couple seconds. On the other, the hope of what such a thing could mean, what such a thing could become. Was it really even a choice? When one could be death and the other could lead to freedom for everyone—herself, Ragatha, all the others—one side clearly outweighed the risks of the other. She didn’t even speak. She just gave a small nod.
“Boop!” Caine’s finger rested upon the spot where a nose should be on Pomni’s face. Pomni didn’t feel it. She didn’t see it either. She saw a thousand 3D-modelled cages spinning at once, copying one after the other like a bouncing string of error messages. She heard a barrage of every noise anything in the Circus had ever made: dings, crashes, alerts, metal grinding, glass breaking, bells jingling or clanging, all the tracks of a keyboard drum kit, brakes screeching, pianos, birds, voices. She felt a pounding reverberating through her entire body, from her appendages into her limbs through her neck into her skull and back outward. And then it was blue. And then it was black. There was no sound anymore—at least, not until she realized she could hear breathing. Her own breathing.
But then something faded into the blackness: ‘C&A.’ And within a second, she was back in.
Caine was looking at Pomni inquisitively, but she didn’t really see him. Pomni was hearing her own breathing again—but simulated now. It felt impossible to focus on anything she was seeing, hearing, or feeling besides that for the moment.
“Well?” Caine prompted. “How was that?”
The AI before Pomni came into focus. “I… it…”
“Speechless! Wonderful. I’ll keep working on it. Oh, but please keep it a secret for the time being. This is top secret moderator business, and it’s definitely a work in progress! Best not to ruin the surprise. Great chat! Now, back to work!”
Pomni fell as she teleported back to where she’d been, collapsing out of the floating state she’d been in onto Ragatha’s door and to the checkerboard beneath. The impact was loud, so it wasn’t unexpected that Ragatha came out to see what had happened. “Oh my gosh, Pomni!” By the time Pomni turned to look at her, she was kneeling beside her. “What happened? I mean, you were just here then- did Caine do something to you? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
Ragatha stared hard, worried, into Pomni’s eyes. “Well… what happened, then?”
Pomni looked down. “Nothing. Don’t worry.”
#art#au#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc au#pomni#pomoderator#caine#ragatha#ragapom#THE RAGAPOM IS AFTER THE BREAK OK.
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By Your Side Feet?
Nanami x GN! Reader
Summary: You're afraid of the dentist and your dutiful boyfriend finds a way to help
Words: 1387
Warnings: None! Just fluff, Nanami being the perfect sweetie he is
A/N: There's no specified gender, pronouns, race etc. The only thing specified is the fear of the dentist and how (I personally) feel about it, that's it! Just something super quick. I got inspired by @teddybeartoji (seriously go chek them out!! I love their fics) Toji dentist fic, made me think about how Nanami would look after you which I hope to remember next time I have to go to the dentist!
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“It’s still bothering you, isn’t it” came Kento’s warm voice. Tinged with concern and almost perceptible disapproval. You, however, were nervously smiling up at him, acting as if you hadn’t just been caught massaging your jaw, “no, no it stopped, don’t worry.” Of course, you both new you were lying, something the two of you agreed to never do with one another and had stuck to over the course of your 2 year relationship. So it would be reasonable for Nanami to be annoyed, angry, betrayed feeling, anything like that. However, you’re seemingly infinitely patient boyfriend, held nothing but worry in his eyes as he peered down at you. Letting out a soft sigh, he sat down beside you on the couch of your shared home, hand coming up to cup your cheek, “You need to go to the dentist my love, before it gets any worse.” The deep frown that settled across your lips as you shrunk away from his kind but determined gaze had Kento feeling bad, he knew you disliked the dentist, even he wasn’t a fan, but he also knew you were in agony. It had been 2 weeks now, chewing food on the other side, making pained expressions and tentatively rubbing at your jaw when you thought he wasn’t looking and worst of all was the way you had teared up as you brushed your teeth.
The nervous shake of your head as you spoke only made him frown more, “It’s fine, Ken, it’ll sort itself out.” “Love, please, the pain isn’t worth it to avoid the dentist, I’ll come with you if that’d help at all?” He coaxed gently, the other hand reaching out and gently curling around your wrist to pull you into him. As his fingers settled against your pulse, he realised your heart was racing, and now he had a matching frown, “You’re that afraid?” Tears were quick to flood your lash line as you ducked your head, a feeling of shame swirling in your gut as you whispered, “Yeah.” Nanami wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest as he rested his chin atop your head with a soft sigh.
He held you for a little while, waiting until you relaxed completely into him before speaking again, “Can you tell me why? Perhaps I can find some solutions for you, to make it easier.” With a deep sigh of resignation you tugged his hand into your lap, playing with his fingers to as you began to explain, “I never really worry about the pain, it’s never that bad, but the sensation of everything and how loud it all is just makes me so sick and always gives me a headache. Plus you can’t really move or anything, everything happens so fast and I never have a chance to prepare myself and even if you try to get them to stop they don’t always, just saying to hold on a bit longer. Just all of that is so overwhelming and makes me panic. Feels like I’m being tortured and can’t even move to get away. I know it’s stupid, but the fear and panic once it starts is just so all-consuming.” As you spoke, Kento listened intently, free hand gently rubbing along your back.
“First of all, it’s not stupid. Secondly, I had no idea it felt that way for you, for me its just, uncomfortable, but for you it sounds awful love, I’m so sorry.” He pressed a sot kiss to your temple, hoping to bring a bit more comfort. “I can come with you and we can ask about booking a longer appointment that way they can take their time. I can make sure they stop if you need a break and we can ask them to talk you through things so it’s not so fast. How does that sound?” Chewing nervously on your lip as you contemplated if that would actually help or not, eyes flickering up to meet his and relaxing a little again, “That could help.”
You’d spent the next hour talking about ways to make the whole thing easier on you, with the goal to make it tolerable more so than to fix it all. After that, Nanami had made an appointment for the following day and taking the day off work so that he could be with you the whole time as well as look after you afterwards. Despite all the preparation and talking, you were now sat in the dentist office, leg bouncing as you picked at your nails, mind reeling as the panicky feeling slowly climbed. Kento had signed you in and had just sat down beside you, hand coming to pry yours apart and interlock your fingers. “Breathe for me dear, deep breath in and hold, then out slowly, ready?” and he did as he asked of you, encouraging you to copy which you did. Between his calm hazel eyes and large warm hand encompassing yours, you felt that panic begin to subside, easing into a more manageable bubble of anxiety instead. That was until your name was called and it all came rushing back in an instant.
Nanami held your hand as you walked into the room, only letting go once you’d settled into the waiting dentists chair. He checked with the dentist before moving a chair over to sit by your feet, hand coming to rest on your ankle as a physical reminder he was there. The appointment took a long time, however every time you started to get jittery, Kento’s hands were massaging along your ankles and calves, the occasional softly spoken “You’re doing so well love” a reminder you weren’t alone. A reminder you weren’t trapped, that you could make it through. When you motioned for breaks the dentist listened after the first time where he had hesitated and was met with the clearing of Nanami’s throat and cold, stern look. The image would stay with you forever of you’re doting boyfriend, staring down your dentist and you couldn't help the small smile that tugged at your lips in response.
The second you were out of the chair, Nanami was pulling you in to his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “You did great, I’m so proud of you love, I love you.” And if the dentist and assistant were looking at you both funny, neither of you cared enough to notice, no, instead you were tucking yourself into him with a muffled “thankyou, I love you so much Kento, thankyou.” You walked back out, hand in hand, to pay for the appointment before leaving and climbing into the car. “Now, as promised, lets get that drink you love so much. We’ll order your favorite for dinner rather than lunch seeing as you’ll be numb for a little while” He mused, ruffling your hair as he pulled out of the clinic parking lot. “Hey, Ken, thankyou, really. You didn’t make me feel silly or childish, it sucked but it wasn’t as bad as it usually is so, thankyou.” He smiled, eyes flickering over to you before taking your hand in his, entwining your fingers as he brought them up to kiss the back of your hand. “Of course, I love you, I’ll never treat your fears as silly or childish. I’m just glad I helped even a little bit.”
The rest of the day was spent doing things you loved while Kento babied you. Curled up in Kento’s arms on the couch with a comfort movie playing was a great way to spend your afternoon, it certainly helped the memory of the dentist fade quickly. So, as you curled up together in bed for the night, face peppered in kisses from Kento that had you giggling, you couldn’t help but feel nothing but love. Love for Kento Nanami, a man who would drop everything to make you feel better, who never once would belittle your fears, who thought you were simply the most beautiful human being ever and truly felt happy just to be in your presence. The love held for one another truly shone in times like this, where he knew everything that made you happy and comfy and where you felt safe and stronger with him by your side, or in this case, your feet.
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#sfw#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jjk nanami#jjk kento#kento x reader#kento x y/n#fluff
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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"We get to, this season, explore their chemistry and their real love and their intimacy. So we get to have a glimpse into that world that just feels so pure and beautiful and romantic! And then, sort of navigating those other circumstances once they're out in the world, dealing with real... challenges." - Isa in an interview with The Knockturnal(x)
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#maria olivares#rhett abbott#isabel arraiza#lewis pullman#there was an article that said that maria and rhett may screw royal over? i say they should go for it! /hj#rhett x maria#i know the last gif is blurry but trust me she was holding his arm and i just thought that was adorable#i might add a lew quote if he ever gets asked about outer range s2 in an interview smh(i'm begging someone to ask him more about it!)...#the biggest fucking grin on her face whenever they kiss#her smile and him smiling back at her before the forehead kiss is EVERYTHING to me#also her little smile as he kisses the side of her head like she knows he's doing his best but knows that it's unlikely that he's leaving..#truly if it gives isa and lew more screen time i'm all for it!#i say all this but i still want a spin-off of them just on a roadtrip#i am convinced that he kisses her just because he thinks she's being really cute#i kinda had a feeling that was maria in the trailer doing something to rhett in the trailer(iykyk) and my heart still fell into my stomach#i'm not including any dream/nightmare sequences because as far as we know they can't see the future... right?#do i sound stupid and biased? maybe... please don't judge me#she's hungry but her heart aches to stay... will the flesh have its way in s3? will she be ... ''already gone'' a la eurydice in hadestown?#tw: food?#will forever be sad they didn't get a dance :(#the way he makes her giggle and smile before kissing her in the car? PLEASE#maybe leaving is her way of fixing things for the both of them so he doesn't have to choose between her and his family?#and so he doesn't have to feel guilt for holding her back every time he looks at her... but girlie have a proper conversation PLS
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venting like an idiot
the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired
#ughhhh#im not going to drop out just yet#itd be a shame i think#theres many opportunities at my uni that i just dont take cause i cant commit to them or im too tired or im too scared#idk if doing any of this is worth it if i don't truly commit tho#i dont think ive learned anything these past 2 years tbh i feel like ive been wasting time and money#and i know my mental state is just my fault cause i cant get myself to do anything and i feel shame and spiral but goddd#idk i just feel like shit#the academic year starts so soon and i just dread everything thats to come#idk i dont even feel like im going to come out of this school with a portfolio. im literally nothing and ive done nothing#i have no idea how i could write a dissertation because ive literally learned nothing i have no desire to learn i just want to fucking chil#i cant get myself to care much for anything except silly shit thats just a distraction from uni work ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh#sucks sucks everything sucks#sorry for this stupid fucking essay im just having lots of thoughts and no one to tell them so.. um#vent#i know this is all my fault but also like. what am i supposed to do about it every solution sounds like literal hell to me -_-#i guess ive been feeling less suicidal recently which i guess is good but i feel like its bad cause like ykiyk ig#idk its all a huge contradiction
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i am not immune to launchpad sol and albin thoughts
#ramble tag#its so like. okay.#launchpad was when they 'peaked'. best years of their lives#the . i think what we canonically know happened at launchpad was like.#laquidditch (fun!) christmas special adventures (fun!)#and then . also#getting deeply bullied. sol lightly kidnapped to launchpad. lizer. claudius. 'you made us run until we threw up' 'im pretty sure he got off#on torturing kids'. literally what the fuck was their deal#getting stuck in a spiders web ???? for a semester ?????#......??? getting chased down by a vaccum cleaner ..........#'it got a lot darker near the end' ... fun pretend child endangerment#like . man.#not to sound CRAZY or anything. does anyone get the impression launchpad was like. a bad ? time ? for them ?? like. it just straight up. bad#by god does it rlly sound to me like#the feeling of when high school was so bad it made ur life a living hell to be in. and u were truly just. surviving#but then youd b goofing off w ur friends in a little dorm. and the stress and the exhaustion seems to color everything that isnt that.#in a beautiful hazy rosy golden film#it hurt but the hurt was monotonous and dull. so all u remember were those shining bright in betweens#sol and albie sneaking into the kitchen and enchanting the self moving cookingware and just seeing what happens#and watching mothership approved saturday morning cartoons in bed#and studying together late at night n sol tucks albin in after hes crashed from hiss allnighter#and passing notes in class#and all that free time over crittermas breaks to do stupid dares and long rambling conversations abt nothing#sol knits albie his first sweater#they have their first beer together#they come back after a really bad day for the both of them and lie on the floor and talk abt anything but that#albin practices spells on sol and its not a good or safe idea but its probably fine#albin pettily bitching about his assigned partner for an arcana class project and sol blindly tsking his side always#only wizards can check out library books and albie checks out all sols books for him#...... anyway
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if they Tamlen solas' ass, that might just be IT for me
#weak! lazy!#o hhe's doomed! he's doomed! death flags all around!#GOD FOR ONCE I WOULD LIKE A GOOD FUCKIGN REDEMPTION ARC#ITS BEEN 16 YEARS SINCE ZUKO#do NOT message me about loghain i swear to GOD#i will be SO pissed if nothing the inquisitor/rook does matters wrt solas' fate#like if he dies no matter what#and the ''good option'' is your inquisitor is just?there? so he's not 'alone'?? bc they want a tear jerker#its like okay so alllll my choices in dai and trespasser didnt matter. again.#like i am just praying they use any of the cool shit available in the narrative#we canonically have time travel. we canonically have been able to the cure the blight. like#are u telling me. dorian pavus. mage who co-invented time travel#wouldn't be able to think of another way to remove the veil safely?#bullshit.#i just have this nagging feeling in my gut#that weekes thinks a 'hopeful romance ending' is akin to like. some stupid dr who shit#like i will also fucking throw my keyboard if its like. 2 solas'.#get out of there w that shit#like what if love changed everything? hmm? what then?#and i KNOW they said they're trying to give closure to all the various attitudes towards solas. problem?#i have never and will never trust a goddmn thing any bioware employee says.#tamlen was my first love so you see this is where the problem started
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i hate my face it needs to be softer and i hate my body it needs to be sharper
#there is nothing in the world i wished i had more than a smaller/rounder nose#why is that thang genuinely V#<#>#^#every direction sniffin#i want to bury my face in things and not impale them#i hate the way it looks when i smile#somehow it gets even bigger#and more downturned#and my body well . at least thats easier 2 change#im so hyper aware of how much i weigh i hate the number being known it makes me want to cry i feel too exposed#its like it being a secret keeps me safe#even though everyone can see my body anyway#if i just have that then im safe no one can hurt me#what if the number makes them see me differently#what if it changes the way i look in their eyes like it does in mine#what if the dysmorphia streaks out past just me#i know its stupid n realistically it doesnt matter at all but i am so Scared i am terrified#i hate my ed i hate everything it holds over me all the time everyday#every time i look at myself im different#n im worse#and no matter how much i suffer its never happy#im so sick rn im in pain but all i can think about is at least im not eating at least its stopping me from eating#i just want to be different i want to be anything else#i feel like im always going 2 be stuck as the grossest thing in the world#ill never get the chance to look at myself n see anything but that#i want to be better. i do. i want to just move on#im so tired. but im So awful looking. & everyone has always made sure i know it. made sure im lesser and i am#ive never had a real friend. theyve always hated me n kept be barely around because they feel bad for me. n just told me how bad i looked
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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