#there is nothing in the world i wished i had more than a smaller/rounder nose

[tamagotchikgs]

i hate my face it needs to be softer and i hate my body it needs to be sharper

[irrevocably-delicious]

Hey what’s up, that HTTYD 3 poster got me fucked up

So this official poster has been released for How To Train Your Dragon 3 and it has left me with... opinions. 

My first initial reaction was excitement! Oh hell yeah HTTYD 3 is coming out! I adored the first two! But then i saw...

SIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHH I knew immediately that this was most likely a female night fury and fuck yeah shit fuck it is which is so disappointing. I could write a huge essay on how female characters are portrayed in media. I could write a massive blog about smurfette syndrome and how female characters are always just a pink, soft version of their male counterparts, or how female animal or anthro characters still have to fall into society’s beauty standards so we do crazy things like give ducks tits or large eyelashes. 

I COULD talk about why these things occur, and how this is a worrying reflection of how society views human females, that males are the default and females are the other... but I’m not going to do that TODAY.

Hi my name is India and not only do I have an animation degree, but I also have a degree in animal and veterinary science.

This design doesn’t just insult me as an animator. This design insults me as a scientist. 

Let’s begin. 

So if you asked me to design a female night fury for the poster, this is what I would have come up with:

Because from a superficial perspective? I would not expect that there would be an obvious difference between males and females. Night fury’s obviously take a lot of design influence from axolotls, who you can only sex by examining their cloacas. Many species of lizards must also have their sexual organs examined for reliable sexing, because colour and size variation in many species are not a reliable way to tell the difference between males and females. 

Someone paint this girl’s nails pink! Otherwise HOW WILL I KNOW?

But I digress that sexual dimorphism exists, and from an animation perspective, you need variation in the character design so people can tell your characters apart. Kids need to want BOTH toys goddamit.

Sexual dimorphism is most obvious and famous in many bird species. In birds of prey, particularly your fast birds of prey such as raptors, your females will be much larger than males. Colour variation in birds (and some reptiles) also occurs. But it is the MALE that is the most colourful and “beautiful” in order to attract their mate. Females are often shades of grey/brown and definitely not a colour that would make them an easy target in their environment.

The female peahen is a basic bitch.

So keeping these size variations and natural colour variations in mind, here’s another suggestion I might offer:

She’s larger! She’s a different colour! Toothless is the sleek, deep black almost blue colour, while she is more in that grey/brown area. I can totally tell the difference.

“But India!” I hear your protests. “Why can’t she be white?! You can have dramatically different coloured male and females in the natural world. Have you heard of eclectus parrots?”

And I would say “Yes! Yes I obviously fucking have! Of course I have heard of the eclectus parrots, who when they were first discovered, people thought they were two different species and kept wondering why they weren’t breeding when they put all the green parrots together and all the red ones together. I’ve course of fucking heard of eclectus parrots you wet petri dish!”

But here’s the thing about eclectus parrots. They live in the rainforest, so while they are different colours, there is still an element of camouflage to this colouring. The female blends into the green treetops and the male looks a lot like a delicious fruit. 

A white night fury... just doesn’t make sense? Judging by when we first meet toothless, and my bullshit knowledge of fictional dragon behaviour, it’s fair to assume that night furys hunt at night. Toothless is so dark that he is almost impossible to see in the night sky. This is where the tension comes from when Hiccup first encounters the night fury. He just sees blue flame and not the dragon itself, because it is so difficult to make him out against the dark sky. 

This female night fury would be shot down so quick. She would stick out terribly at night. She wouldn’t catch shit. All the sheep in the field would be like “Oh fuck, I can see Phyllis two miles away. We all better shuffle into the barn.” There’s a reason albino animals are so rare in the wild. They just stick out too much and often get eaten. 

“But what if female’s hunt during the day? Wouldn’t being white help them blend in with clouds and the bright sky?” 

THEN WHEN WOULD THEY FUCK? Would males and females just pass each other at sunset like fated star lovers? That’s stupid. That doesn’t make sense. This isn’t Ladyhawke. 

But I’ll humour you. Yes, yes, we see white birds all the time. And you’re right! That white belly really helps them blend in with the clouds and bright sky. 

But they’re not all white. Especially birds that have to hunt or eat on the wing. We see this kind of patterning a lot of sea birds. Their bellies are white, but the tops of their wings are dark grey/brown. This is so when they nest, or are maybe viewed by a LARGER bird from above, they will blend in with the land or ocean below. White against a deep blue ocean really stands out... But dark grey? Not so much. 

“But Indiiiiiaaaa” some protests again like an absolute idiot who is about to be slapped out of their ignorance. 

“Night Furys are so fast that nothing could possibly catch them! They don’t have to worry about camouflaging to avoid predators!”

Alright Dumbass McBitch! Do you know what the fastest bird in the world is?

It’s the peregrine falcon. GUESS WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE?

WHITE BELLY. DARK TOP. 

The peregrine falcon is actually probably a decent comparison to the fictional night fury actually. Small in size, bird of prey, HORRIFICALLY FAST. But they have this sort of colouring for similar reasons. The dark colouring isn’t just camouflage during flight. It also helps them blend into their environment when they are nesting. 

SO IF YOU SOMEHOW CONVINCED ME THAT NIGHT FURYS ARE ALSO ACTIVE DURING THE DAY I COULD CONCEDE A DESIGN LIKE THIS:

But it’s not just colour. It’s not just size. There are other things that worry me about the female night fury’s design. The first is that she seems to have fewer of those... antennae things? And the few she has are much shorter. We’ve seen Toothless use these and they seem to be similar to a cat’s whiskers in their sensory role. So why on earth would she have less? And they be much shorter? SHE NEEDS THOSE! Without them, she may have difficulty flying, orienting herself in the air or feeling the winds she will have to combat. The designers are trying to feminise her by making her seem sleeker and rounder... which functionally makes no sense... why not do the opposite? Giver her really long antennae! Have them constantly moving in the wind!

The other thing that I immediately noticed was how SMOOTH she looks. They took away almost all of her scales. And again... doesn’t she need those for protection? This is so odd to me because it feels like they’ve removed her scales in the same way that pin up artists never draw body hair. Body hair is seen as unsightly on women, so artists remove it, leaving their subjects smooth and shining.

Do... do the dreamworks designers think the scales are unsightly? Have they waxed this dragon? And replaced her scales with body glitter??? Guys.... guys...

Whyyyyyy

Also they made her nose a lot shorter? That’s stupid. Don’t do that. 

Which one’s the girl?? Their noses are the same length so I can’t tell. 

So I can actually greatly improve the original design by just remedying these things.

Oh yeah I made her claws bigger??? BECAUSE THEY FUCKING MADE HER CLAWS SMALLER. 

But already I’m like... less pissed at it. Like “Aw yeah it’s still white, but at least they didn’t mess with much else.”

I think in a perfect world they would have given me something like this:

BUT! They did not.

And I’m not complaining just for the sake of complaining. I promise. This poster irritated me so much because HTTYD over the past 2 movies has had some stellar design. ESPECIALLY with it’s female characters. Astrid and Ruffnut are such courageous designs to me, because they’re not your classically beautiful disney knock off. Ruffnut is harsh looking. She has angles. She makes gross faces. These are all privileges that have traditionally been reserved for villains or men. Astrid is introduced in the first film like she’s some incredibly beautiful bombshell... but she really looks like a little girl. She’s kind of scrawny. She has only the smallest hint of a bust. She has a weak chin and her ears stick out, but it doesn’t matter because Hiccup thinks she is stunning.

Catch this chin in a disney movie. It will never happen.

We’ve even seen excellent female dragon designs! But we weren’t even aware that they were females because it’s not plot relevant, but they were not obviously coded. They just looked like sweet dragons!

Stormfly is a girl. You can tell by how much glitter in on her body and her short, rounded spikes. 

I just wish the HTTYD designers took more risk with the female nightfury design. The design they came up with is lazy, predictable, functionally incorrect and... kinda sexist honestly. I will still see this movie. I will still marvel at all the other wonderful designs, but this has left a bad taste in my mouth. 

From now on I hope to see more female characters that look like Sadie from Mouseguard

And less like ... this fucking shit

Not even Bambi is free from my wrath. 

[himluv]

Dreamer

Solas makes good on his offer to help Riallan with her nightmares after Redcliffe.

Solas balanced the tray in one hand and knocked on the door with the other. It was late and the majority of Haven had resigned to their beds. The Breach was a disconcerting glow above them, turning the snow to a shimmering green sea. Beyond the chatter and cheer of the tavern, only Varric stood vigil at his fire; they’d nodded to one another as Solas passed him but said nothing.

The door opened and Riallan gestured him into the small house that had been reserved for her use. Solas had not been inside the building since she recovered from stabilizing the Breach after the Conclave. With one look around the room it was clear to him that she hardly used it. Aside from the slight rumple of the bed covers, the house was pristine.

“You brought tea?” She asked, taking the tray from him to set it on the small table beside the bed. She wore tan leggings with a loose white tunic and her bare feet were silent on the floorboards. Solas realized he’d never seen her so casual, so vulnerable, and instantly felt that he’d made a mistake. This was too invasive, too intimate, seeing her in her quarters in the middle of the night.

But he couldn’t rescind his offer without complicating matters even more.

He clasped his hands behind his back. “In case you needed help falling asleep,” he said.

“That’s very thoughtful of you,” she said as she poured a cup. She raised a dark brow and held the cup out to him.

He declined her offer with a short shake of his head. “Thank you, but I can slip into the Fade without it.” He sank onto the rug in the center of the room to sit cross-legged facing her.

Riallan sat on the edge of the bed, the cup of steaming tea cradled in her hands. “What do I do now?”

He smiled at her nervousness. “Enjoy the tea and try to relax. Perform any of your usual bedtime rituals if you haven’t already, and once you fall asleep I will find you in the Fade.”

“How?” Her face was full of sheepish wonder, as if the need for an answer had outdone her bashfulness.

He considered the question. “Every mage has a unique resonance to their power.” He tilted his head. “Have you noticed that?” In Arlathan the air had thrummed with power, clashing and mingling like voices in a market square. But, not every mage in this time had a strong enough connection to the Fade to recognize the subtleties of those resonances.

She nodded. “It’s like a signature, but I can only feel it on strong castings.”

“Exactly,” he said. “As a Dreamer, when I walk the Fade I can sense those signatures. It is a simple enough matter to find yours.”

She looked down at her tea. “What does my magic feel like?”

“Like a summer storm.” The words were automatic. Of all their mage companions, Riallan’s power was the most distinct to him. Whether that was a side effect of her carrying the anchor, he was uncertain, but he knew her magic well. “Like thunderclouds and the threat of rain. In the Fade it will be even stronger.”

She didn’t look up from her cup, but he noticed her blush all the same. “Yours is like snow,” she said. “I can’t explain it, but that snow smell? The clean, nothingness of it? That’s what I feel every time you cast a barrier over me.”

He stared for a moment, surprised. He had not expected her to sense his power. Perhaps the anchor linked them in some way after all? She took a sip of her tea as he considered the possibilities, then shook himself from his wonderings.

“You should sleep, lethallan.”

She nodded, set the cup on the tray, and slipped under the covers. “Will I know when you’ve found me?”

He stretched out on the rug, preparing to sink into the comforts of the Fade. “Not if I’m careful,” He said. Solas gestured with one hand, dousing the candles and sinking the room into darkness.

“Oh,” she said. The word fell flat and heavy with disappointment.

“On nydha, Riallan.” Her name felt foreign on his lips. He was used to referring to her as the Herald, Lavellan, or even da’len. But there, in her room, sheltered in the dark, it felt wrong to call her anything else.

“On nydha, Solas,” she whispered, the Fade already coming to claim her.

He listened to her breathe, the darkness making the room feel even smaller, until he felt certain she was asleep. Journeying into the Fade was second nature to him. Before the Conclave he’d spent more time in the Beyond than he had in the real world. It was easier for him there. Easier to pretend that Arlathan had flourished after he’d sealed the Evanuris away. Easier to relive memories he’d give anything to experience again.

He opened his eyes and took in the scene of the little house that now belonged to the Inquisition’s Herald. A small family of humans knelt in a circle, praying. It sounded familiar enough that he recognized them as Andrastians, but their dark clothing and the dissonant quality of their voices rippling through the Fade left him feeling unsettled. Not all memories were worth remembering.

He moved on from the scene, searching for the electric hum of Riallan’s magic. With their physical proximity, he wouldn’t have to search for long. He felt a jolt of power and smelled the acrid tang of ozone, and then he heard her scream.

The nightmare had come quickly.

He stepped through the Fade and into her dream, then froze. Solas recognized the grey stone walls of Redcliffe castle, but this was not how he remembered them. Red Lyrium grew wild throughout the hall, sprouting like weeds from between cracks in the stone. Above him, through the crumbled ceiling, he saw the Breach, throbbing and swirling in unbridled fury.

He vaguely recognized sounds of battle, and turned away from the Breach to see Riallan hurtling spell after spell at lyrium-crazed Templars. She was drenched in sweat, her eyes wide in panic, but her mouth was set in a vicious, determined snarl.

This was what she’d faced? This was the dark future that haunted her every step since Redcliffe?

“Solas!”

He spun, for a moment convinced that she’d somehow spotted him, but then he saw what made her cry out his name. The door at the end of the hall had burst open, permitting a horde of darkspawn into the chamber. At their feet was his limp body, covered in red lyrium, corrupted red eyes staring out from his face.

“Enough,” he snarled, and bent the Fade to his will. His intent would be enough to guide the dream into something of her creation. Something familiar and soothing, that would be as a balm to her damaged psyche.

He watched as the cursed Redcliffe castle melted away to be replaced by a meadow ringed by tall spruce trees. It was warm and a little humid, but the breeze felt nice against his skin. Riallan kneeled beside a creek, washing her hands.

She was younger in this dream, thinner, with long hair braided down her back.

“Riallan!” A voice, weathered but strong, called across the meadow. She turned to look at the speaker, and Solas saw that she didn’t yet have her vallaslin. She was so young, all willowy limbs, still awkward as a fawn. He was surprised at how much he enjoyed this glimpse of her life before the Conclave.

“Coming, maela!” She wiped her hands on her pants and headed toward the center of the meadow. As she did the camp billowed into sight, as if through a fog. A dozen aravels sprawled across the glen, Dalish appearing to stand at their sides or walk through the camp. She smiled and waved at almost all of them, but reserved her biggest grin for the old woman who sat at a small fire at the center of the camp.

“There you are, ma’dirthalen.” She waved for Riallan to sit. “Come, sit. We have much to discuss.” By her robes and the ornate staff cradled against her shoulder, he could guess that this was the Keeper of the Lavellan clan. If memory served, Riallan said her name was Deshanna.

What she hadn’t mentioned was that the Keeper was her grandmother. But he couldn’t deny the resemblance. They shared wide green eyes that saw everything and delicate, arrow-straight noses. Deshanna’s lips were thinner and her jaw rounder, the lines of her face heightened by the large, branching arcs of Mythal’s vallaslin.

“What are we learning today, hahren?” Riallan eagerly sat at her grandmother’s feet.

“We are learning who you are, and who you want to be.” She lit a long, hand-carved pipe with a snap of her fingers and took long puffs.

Riallan didn’t understand, at least not at first. Then her brow lifted and her eyes shone with excitement. “I’m picking my vallaslin?”

Deshanna nodded. “You must choose carefully, da’len. This is not just adornment, but a commitment. A promise to the Creators that you would walk the world in their honor.”

Solas’ nose crinkled at that. How wrong these people were, how lost. They bore these markings in honor of false gods, received them as a testament to their determination and devotion. When all the Evanuris would see was property. It made his stomach churn.

But the young Riallan’s face bore nothing but pride and hope as she set to considering which of her Creators she would choose. He, of course, already knew the answer. Mere feet away from him in the physical world, Riallan slept, her face marked for Dirthamen.

He had seen enough, more than he should have. It was improper of him to linger in her private thoughts now that he’d banished the nightmares. He took one last look at her face, free of any ink, and wished he could convince her not to go through with the ritual.

But this was just a dream, pieces of memory stitched together to give her a reprieve from the horrors of her waking life. He would leave her to it.

He could have awoken, left the house and Riallan to her dreams and returned to his own little hut. But, he was already asleep, and there were wonders yet to discover in Haven’s memories. So he spent the hours in the Fade, with his senses tuned to the storm magic, just in case the nightmares returned.

“Solas?” Her voice was soft, as if she hoped not to wake him, but felt she ought to try.

He opened his eyes to see her standing over him, her face illuminated by a single candle. The Fade still clung to him, and before he could stop himself the question tumbled out. “Why did you choose Dirthamen?”

She blinked, then frowned as she took a step back from him. “You saw my dream.”

He sat up. “I did not intend to,” he said. “And I did not linger.” When she didn’t speak he feared he’d crossed some boundary. “Ir abelas, lethallan.”

She shook her head. “Don’t. I asked for your help and it worked. If I had any nightmares, I don’t remember them.”

He smiled and stood. “I am glad I could help.” He looked out the window and saw the barest tinge of pale blue on the horizon. “I should go,” he said. “Before others awake and begin to talk.”

She scoffed. “Let them talk,” she said. “I’m not some Chantry Sister to be locked away in a tower.” Riallan stopped, realized what she said, and blushed.

Solas chuckled. “I did not think you were, but you should take care with your reputation. Think of how the world would react if it thought the Herald of Andraste had taken an elven apostate to her bed.”

She cleared her throat, but didn’t look at him. “I see your point.” She sighed, crossing her arms and leaning against the footboard of her bed. “But even if they did think that, I wouldn’t mind.”

He froze, convinced he must have misheard her. Or that she misspoke, not realizing what she said. He stared at her, and the longer his gaze lingered, the brighter her face turned red.

She knew exactly what she’d said.

Despite himself, he felt the tips of his ears burn. He needed to change the subject, now. “You never answered my question. About your vallaslin.”

When she finally looked up at him, there was a tiny smirk on her lips. She saw his change in subject for what it was: evasion. “I didn’t, did I?” She walked him to the door, and the frigid air was a relief. It cleared his mind and banished the heat that had climbed to his cheeks.

“Perhaps the answer awaits you in the Fade,” she said as he stepped out into the cold.

He looked at her once more, taking in the pink of her cheeks and the mischievous glint in her eyes. He hummed, pretending to muse over her words. “Perhaps,” he said and turned to let the Herald to watch him leave.

[xathia-89]

Playing in the Alpha’s World - Pt 8

My skirts were tight, as I was padding around the office at five months pregnant, my shoes were long gone and somewhere under my desk as Mitsuhide was sitting on my desk with a chuckle.  

“We both know Hideyoshi would be going mad at the sight of you right now,” he sniggered.

“We both know you’re sending photos to Kenshin, and he’ll be threatening to come and carry me everywhere again,” I corrected him, before leaning on the intercom. “Natalie? Need to borrow you please.”

We had hired three 'secretarial' roles. Natalie was our main role, she took on my old job description while backed up by Annika and Johann. Natalie spent most of her day being called into the office and giving the role of judge between Mitsuhide and me something which never failed to amuse. Natalie had spat out her drink when it came out that I was an omega, she said that someone had clearly gotten things wrong because I was an alpha all over. Then she met Kenshin and conceded some form of defeat. It was a month or so after the mass hiring that we found out that I was 10 weeks pregnant, so we were now going through documents to see about bringing on someone to take on my role for several months.  

“Just speak to Hideyoshi and Nobunaga,” Natalie was shaking her head at us. “Masamune may come over with Kiyotaka, and you said there was an omega with him?”

Both of us paused and looked at the other. It hadn't occurred to us that another VP member would want to consider coming over as I checked the timings.  

“He’s out of the office for the day now, he’ll be in when you come in at seven tomorrow morning though,” Natalie was getting very confident in herself, as she stood with her hands on her hips.

“Why do I work with so many alphas?” I grumbled, sitting down and tapping emails out to Nobunaga, Hideyoshi and Masamune.

“Because you apparently attract us,” Natalie laughed, turning around with the swing of her hips before my phone started to ring.

“Guten abend, Frau Kayda Uesugi spricht,” I opened on autopilot.

“Entschuldigung,” the voice came on the other end.

“Nein!” I blurted out, “Es is Kayda Saito!”

I couldn't believe I had slipped up as I continued on the call. The client was thankfully believing of me before Natalie was emailing me while on the phone afterwards with them. Her shit-eating grin was enough for concern while I was trying to look busy.  

It was getting more and more suspicious as it came time for me to leave, and Natalie was still wearing that grin.

“See you tomorrow, Frau Uesugi!” She called out, at such a volume that Mitsuhide definitely heard, and smirked at me.

“I am never hearing the end of that one,” I sighed, getting in the elevator to escape the giggling shit heads.

It was getting worse when Masamune landed. Kiyo gave me a sympathetic smile when my nameplate was presented as 'Frau Kayda Uesugi', and Kenshin had been sent plenty of photos of my door and the likes as well. Natalie had told him what I had said to a client, and Kenshin simply hadn't done anything since. It was a slip of the tongue, nothing major, and I was getting rounder by the day at seven months pregnant. I was falling asleep occasionally in the middle of the afternoon or after lunch on some occasions, and Johann and Annika had been sent food hunting a couple of times a day at least. Kenshin was on speed dial for everyone since he knew exactly what was sold where for my cravings, and Natalie had created a spreadsheet to keep tabs on it as well. Especially when it was proven that a year or two after the birth of a child, ruts and heats would generally start up again. Meaning this would likely not be my only pregnancy.

Kiyo was checking with Natalie the sort of things that I would be covering, as I then informed Masa he would be checking in with Hideyoshi mostly. Not pleasant news to Masa as he knew that Hideyoshi would be relentlessly nagging about 'no sex in the office', which made me laugh.  

“No way,” Masa laughed. “You haven’t?”

"I had blinds installed, and soundproofed the walls," I winked, showing him how to operate the blinds to obscure us. "Shadows still show if the light comes from behind, but if you put the phone to code 7, then Natalie knows where to shine the lights. Mitsuhide has a couple of rendezvous too, so you can dump us all in if anyone gets caught," I grinned, before huffing a little at a swift kick to my bladder. I grunted and leaned on the intercom. "Natalie, spare trousers and panties, please. My baby is using my bladder as a trampoline."  

“Natsuki says she just feels fat right now,” Masamune chuckled in sympathy, already throwing tissues down at the floor for the dribbles. “I’m sure our experiences will change with the passing months too.”

“She’ll long for the days of feeling fat. I get angry at so many things because they’re out of reach. I can’t stretch as far, I definitely can’t bend down most of the time,” I listed, before feeling more uncomfortable and excusing myself to find Natalie with the discreet changing bag out on her desk for me to poddle off to the toilets and clean up.

The end of my day wasn't getting here fast enough before Kenshin was called yet again to the office to get me. I couldn't keep my eyes open at all, and my office couch was the right size for a nap with my feet elevated on the far arm. Masamune was wearing a big grin before I was scooped up into Kenshin's arms and carried off. Mitsuhide stopped us just before the lift and placed an envelope in my lap with a wink. It almost felt like everyone that worked around us was looking and waving me good night as I fiddled with the envelope. Summoning the energy even just to open it was impossible, I was so snug in Kenshin's hold, it was too comfortable to focus on anything. I let myself just enjoy being held by my alpha before I was lowered to the sofa with a smile that would melt Australia in the middle of their fires.  

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his hand stroking my bump. “Growing and glowing,” he kissed me on the cheek.

“With your child,” I slightly pouted. “I feel so useless and fed up, I can’t get to so much stuff.”

Then he started to massage my feet, and all of my thoughts fell away, a soft purr echoing throughout me as the soothing sensations worked through me.  

“Are you going to open the envelope?” He smiled serenely at me. He looked too angelic for me to try and be mad at, while I slipped my finger in under the flap, ripping it open and pulling out the card.

“Dear Kayda,” I began, reading out loud after moving the smaller envelope out of the way. “We wish you all the best for the birth of your baby with Kenshin. You will be sorely missed in your absence, and we eagerly await the announcement of the birth,” I paused, trying to work out if it meant what I thought it did. “Yes, you’re on maternity leave now for the next five months. You had to leave me with Masamune too. You will be able to start returning after that for reduced hours since Natsuki will be due around that date, so you and Masamune can share the role,” It made me smile that Mitsuhide was enjoying teasing me even through a card. “Enjoy all the nap times without being disturbed by anyone other than you and the baby now.”

Kenshin had moved to nuzzle my neck, smiling as he tapped the smaller card.

It contained a gift card to one of the stores I mentioned that we seemed to be spending all of our free time in. From everyone at work, something that touched me as I fired off texts to Mitsuhide, Masa and Natalie.

"At least I won't be walking into your office most days now," Kenshin teased before he kissed me on the head.  

“Meanie,” I pouted, before getting up and getting a shower.

***

Kagami Isehime Uesugi born Thursday at 4.39 am weighing 3.97 kilos. Mother and baby at home and doing well. No flowers are to be sent, by request of parents.

The email ripped through the company worldwide, there were cards with all sorts of postage stamps on for us as I bounced our little girl in my arms. She was as cute as anything, with tufts of my honey-coloured hair and then Kenshin's mismatched eyes peeking out before I tucked her safely away in her pushchair.  

The walk was almost a faint memory after four months. Kagami had arrived a little early, two weeks before we expected her, but she was on the heavy side when born anyway. She was eager to get out into our world; it seemed as I pushed through to our reception. A new girl on the desk gave me a very snooty look. She scoffed when I asked for Natalie, Johann or Annika, saying that I would need an appointment to see anyone at that level. I kept pushing politely until Annika was summoned with a tired look on her face.  

It disappeared the moment she saw me, her face lit up like a Christmas tree, and she squealed, rushing over to peek into the pushchair. She was gushing and pushing me into the lift, rambling away about the terrors that Masamune and Mitsuhide had been up to in my absence.  

Natalie was on the phone, though she was now trying to get whoever it was on the phone, off so she could come and join in the mutual squealing. Johann was cooing, cradling Kagami and showing her to Annika and Natalie from afar.

“How long until you come back? I miss your organisation, and that you don’t join up with Mitsuhide for pranks,” Natalie begged, glaring over my shoulder as the two incriminating suspects came into view.

“She’s just mad you got Natsuki pregnant before she could sit on her face,” Mitsuhide chuckled to Masamune, and then leaned forward to kiss Kagami on the head. “Hey you, not giving mom a hard time I hope?”

"She's as good as gold, makes me wonder when it'll kick in, and she'll start. We're on a good routine at least," I smiled, stroking her nose.  

“Well, I’m sure once you’re pregnant with your next, her jealousy will pick up,” Masamune laughed.

“No, that’s just Kenshin,” I grinned, and winked at Johann. “Alphas don’t like it when their omegas are preoccupied with someone else.”

Natalie stuck her tongue out, taking Kagami from Johann. “She’s so beautiful. You two make the best babies.”

"I'll take that compliment and pass it to Kenshin as well," I blushed, glancing over the office. Coming back part-time would give me the best of both worlds, I did miss my job, but I loved the new addition to my life. Things moved on and progressed, and our friendly family was only going to grow from this point. Nobunaga and Ieyasu had adopted a young boy in New York, Hideyoshi and Hitomi were early on in their pregnancy, Sasuke had met a young omega called Kaede, and they were apparently in the middle of a mutual rut and heat. It wouldn't be long before Yukimura and Shingen made announcements about relationships I figured.  

It was warming. Masamune’s arm around my shoulder while Natalie was teasing Mitsuhide about being the odd one out for once.

It was heaven, and I’d never been happier.

[cummunication]

You’re not “doing it for yourself”; why I don’t support cosmetic surgery

"I'm doing it for myself, not anyone else" is a transparent excuse. Unpopular opinion: I don’t respect women’s choice to get plastic surgery as I think it is selfish and vain. I’ll admit I’m not a fan of cosmetic surgery. I’ll also admit there were many points when I was younger, and still are, where I wish I had the money to get a nose job, Botox injections, fuller lips, a butt job and a boob job. In today’s day and age, the choices are endless. Of course there are times (mostly due to societal pressure) where I’d like to change my appearance to conform to the demands of culture. But I have enough common sense and respect for my fellow sisters to realize that, by changing my appearance to look like everyone else and give into patriarchal pressure to stay “young and thin forever” and look like a Barbie doll, I am doing a disservice to other women. There’s also the fact that by women hindering their appearance to keep up with Instagram models, men too, start believing something is wrong with girls who have cellulite and don’t look like porn stars. Let me make something clear; I don’t believe there’s anything wrong in investing time and money into your appearance; especially if you got into an accident, have a disformity or just had a baby. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have confidence and feel good about ourselves; however, 99% of those who get cosmetic surgery, do it for others and not themselves. You see, if big butts and boobs weren’t “in” then almost nobody would be getting their tits and ass modified. If large lips weren’t the latest trend, why would people spend hundreds of dollars every few months to get lip injections? My point is, they wouldn’t. They do it to conform to society’s pressure on women to always be sexy and please men. Women are so conditioned and brain washed these days to always stay “fuckable”. Anyone who spends that much money and tries so hard just to receive attention from the opposite sex is extremely insecure (which is a huge turn off). In other words, if you were on a deserted island with no mirrors you would never think twice to get eyelash extensions or laser hair removal. From my experience, people believe that by getting liposuction, Botox etc. that will make them more attractive which in turn, will make them happier. This is simply not true and all an illusion. I used to believe this also (so I’m not judging) and sometimes I still am convinced that if only I was shorter, skinnier etc. I would have a better life. Although it is true that attractive people do have more perks in life than unattractive people (unfortunately), it starts to become this moving target you will never hit. Once we get the eyelash extensions, then we are “too pale” so we need the spray tan. Once we get the fake nails then we need the long hair so we get hair extensions. It’s never enough and you are never satisfied with what you have. I’m not saying everyone that spends money on nails, makeup etc. is stupid; it’s normal to want to pamper and doll yourself up at times but once we all start trying to look like or be someone we’re not, we’re setting a bad example for other girls who don’t look the same way (especially the younger generation). If everyone starts getting butt implants then the people with normal or smaller sized bootys think somethings wrong with them so they to need to change since they don’t look like girls online without realizing those girls normally don’t look that way and felt the same. When we as women start changing ourselves we set a bad example and start a downwards spiral for other women because then they too start thinking they should conform. Not only is plastic/cosmetic surgery pricey and painful, it can also be dangerous. We are risking our health for short term gratification without giving any attention to how it will/could affect us in the long run.

“The most common complaints after plastic surgery include nausea, vomiting, headaches and prolonged pain. Inflammation will also occur around the area where the surgical procedure is performed. Extreme blood loss is an indication of something wrong during surgery. Studies have shown that people report increased satisfaction with the body part they had surgery on, but results are mixed on whether plastic surgery boosts their self-esteem, quality of life, self-confidence and interpersonal relationships in the long term. Plastic surgery has been linked in the past to depression, even suicide”. Many people can also become addicted to the instant gratification the modifications may provide. “Plastic surgery addiction is a behavioral addiction characterized by psychological compulsions to continuously alter one's appearance with cosmetic surgery. The amount of body positivity in the millennial generation is generally much higher than it has been in past generations. Millennials tend to be more accepting and open-minded. We are sometimes so accepting that we unintentionally encourage harmful behaviors. More than one of the girls mentioned that plastic surgery can be a “feminist act” because it’s “all about your body and making yourself feel better.” I think this is simply a false statement. Going so far as to spend thousands of dollars to make the tip of your nose smaller or your breasts rounder is a direct plea to society to make them love you. These girls say they’re doing it for themselves, but they go on to talk about how often they were bullied as kids because of the size of their nose, or how worried they are about what people might assume or say about their stretch marks. No amount of body positivity can cover up what they did because they hated something about themselves.” If we all just accepted ourselves as we are and didn’t spend so much time or energy trying to fix ourselves to please others then the cosmetic industry wouldn’t be profiting so much. We’d take our power back and as women could start using all that energy, time and money to actually make a difference in the world.

[undeadimpulsereviews]

Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon (Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid)

Real quick context, when I speak of the manga I will be addressing it as Dragon Maid; let’s begin.

Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon, from Mangaka Cool-Kyou Shinja, is a comedy slice of life manga which is currently ongoing as we speak. It started it’s run back in 2013 for Japan, but we in America didn’t get it until three years later. It is currently being published by Monthly action magazine in Japan, and Seven Seas in English; as of today only two volumes are out in stores for us, but the third and fourth volume are already planned to release in the future. For Japan all four volumes are out and able to be read, while the fifth volume is being worked on; if you don’t wish to wait for the physical copies however, you can find volumes one through four online easily and the beginning of volume five as well. I found this manga randomly one day and saw that it was gaining some popularity; I started reading it for a little bit, but I ended up putting it down to read other things. I didn’t dislike what I read, but the start can be a little slow; after hearing and anime was in the works for the manga I decided to pick it back up and now currently I’m all caught up. I’m glad I went back and gave the manga another chance; it may start a little slow, but as it moves on it really starts to pick up. So what exactly is Dragon Maid? The name says a lot, but there’s a lot about this manga that the title can’t convey; so lets see what Cool-Kyou has in one of his most recent works.

Dragon Maid follows the story of two individuals in their day to day life; Kobayashi is a honest office worker who tends to keep to herself. One night after a long day of work a drunk Kobayashi wanders into the forest, and what she finds isn’t something most people would call normal. Lying there is a giant green dragon whose been injured and wants nothing to do with Kobayashi; after Kobayashi helps the dragon they spend some time together. Fast forward to the next morning and there is a mysterious woman standing at Kobayashi’s door in a maid outfit; this woman is Tohru, and it just so happens to be the same dragon from the night before. Apparently in Kobayashi’s drunken state, she invited Tohru to live with her; thus begins the random adventures of Miss Kobayashi, and her dragon maid Tohru.

I really like the story of Dragon Maid; it’s sells itself as a comedy, and the comedy is definitely well done, but in my mind the manga really shines when it gets serious. Throughout the manga you’ll get a lot of really worthwhile scenes that explore a lot of what day to day life could be like. The importance of family, how similar we may look when in reality were so different deep down; it’s a surprisingly deep story for what it is. The relationship that Kobayashi shares with Tohru throughout the manga is really well done and makes for some great scenes. Tohru grew up being taught that humans are inferior beings, and that all they’re good for is a quick death; however, after living with Kobayashi she learns that maybe what she was taught isn’t all that accurate. She learns to live along side others regardless of their standing, learns that even humans have different upbringings, and that not everyone has the same family experience as others. Life isn’t easy, but you shouldn’t take it all on your own; it’s a lot more simple when you have friends there to assist you. You may have some preconception about someone or something, but you might actually learn a lot about them if you gave them the chance; just like Tohru learned a lot about humans from Kobayashi and vice versa. Overall it’s a great story that supplies a nice balance between both comedy and serious moments; the manga is well aware of what it is becoming and I can’t help but love it.

Dragon’s maid has a very peculiar cast of humans and dragons; it has somewhat of an even spread, but with the recent chapters the dragon side of things has started to expand a little more. That aside these characters develop so well; the humans, like Kobayashi, develop really well but I think that the dragons are where the story really shines. Tohru was the first of many dragons to appear in the manga; she is a chaos dragon who was raised thinking that humans must die, but after many days in the human world she begins to question her upbringing. Are humans really all that bad? She doesn’t want to return to her world, but rather finds enjoyment in her new life. Yet she’s not the only dragon who has this effect on them; Fafnir, for those who don’t recognize the name, is a chaos dragon who guards his horde of treasure from greedy humans; he is from Norse mythology and is usually known for cursing those who attempt to steal his gold. After a couple chapters he, along with other dragons, begin to come to Kobayashi’s world; at first he wants nothing to do with it, but after being introduced to video games he starts to think differently. He doesn’t fully accept humanity, but starts to feel that maybe not everyone is as bad as he thought. Now what of the humans? Kobayashi is the main one that develops; thanks to Tohru; Kobayashi is able to not only accept dragons big and small, but also gets better at knowing how to deal with dragons and finding out what they want. The second dragon to appear is a small one by the name of Kanna; she’s an old friend of Tohru’s and is known for pulling pranks. She doesn’t accept of Tohru’s decision at first, but Kobayashi sees what it is she’s really after thanks to being around another dragon. Overall the characters of Dragon Maid are really lovable enjoyable characters who are developed really well over the course of the story; The story is still in full swing and new characters are currently being introduced, but I’m sure that Cool-Kyou can make them just as good.

Now I’ve only read two of Cool-Kyou’s manga, this being one of them; and from those two manga I can see that Kyou has quite the unique art style. The first manga I’ve read of his was this, then the second was Ojojojo; Ojojojo is a 4-koma, while Dragon Maid is an official manga. After reading both as far as I could I think that Kyou’s style fits more into a 4-koma rather than a normal manga, but I’ve only read two and I think his art style definitely works in Dragon Maid. His work doesn’t really rely to much on detail when it comes to characters; there isn’t much shadowing, or really well defined features of his characters. This is why I believe his work fits better in a 4-koma, but for Dragon Maid he keeps his style, while also adding more to it.

When I was going through the manga in search of photos I found the one above; So much detail in just one picture and these are scarce; most of the time the more detailed shots will happen when ever Tohru or another person starts to change. Take the third frame for instance, not much is changing but while Tohru is priming her shot her eyes and mouth alter slightly; there’s intense amounts of shading along her face, and well defined lines around her eyes that help show emotions. Then a frame later you have a very simple picture of Kanna.

Most of the manga will look like the frame about, not much shadows or defining lines; plus the facial features and body look simplistic. This is the normal style that I’ve seen in Kyou’s works; take the third frame for instance. Instead of going more a realistic look in terms of body, Kyou instead goes for a more simple approach. Take Takiya for example, his body is slender and tall; it’s not to well defined and instead it looks like a simple triangle moving up towards his head. Same with Kobayashi, she’s smaller than Takiya, but she has basically the same build; very triangular and simple.

Then in the photo directly above we some normal drawings and some of the more detailed when Tohru enters; though for this picture in particular, I want to look at the facial features and head shape. Look at the second frame with Kanna and Kobayashi; Kyou’s style and choices are easily seen in this frame. First Kanna, her eyes are huge and take up a good portion of her face; however, that’s all that’s on her face. There is no indication of a nose or mouth, only the eyes; which are basically all pupil. Now lets look at the head itself’ both Kanna and Kobayashi are great example; instead of a more defined head where we can see the chin or other features, Kyou tends to draw his head a little rounder; Kobayashi is a little more defined in this area than others but not by much. Kanna on the other hand is almost perfectly round; look at the last frame for example, there is no clear sign of her neck but instead it looks like her head is resting on her body. Overall I really like Kyou’s style; it’s different from your average style, but it’s still good all the same. I don’t know if I can see the art style working in the future for something outside of the current genre, but it’s good nonetheless.

Like I said before Dragon Maid has grown in popularity; so much so that it was able to get it’s own anime adaptation. I am currently caught up with the anime and I really enjoy it, but kind of wish it followed the manga a little more. I do love the random episodes that the anime has, but there are so many chapters of the manga that could have been adapted but never were. I can understand some chapters can’t be adapted given that they introduce new dragons that wouldn’t be in the anime, but a lot of chapters could have been great episodes. That aside it’s a beautiful anime; it tends to rely a little to much on fan service though. The manga had it’s fair share as well, don’t get me wrong, but the anime went another level with theirs. I understand that it sells to a vast demographic of people, but I wouldn’t mind having it slightly toned down; I know it’s not the manga, but I can’t help comparing the two. The manga has it’s fan service but it doesn’t need it to be something; the anime, I feel, relies a little to heavily on it. Though overall it’s not only a good manga, but a good anime as well.

Overall I give Kobayashi- san Chi no Maid Dragon an 8 out of 10; it’s a great manga with some heavy themes; it’s cute, heartwarming, and funny. I think the reason it isn’t higher in terms of rating is because when you get down to it, it’s still your everyday slice of life; it’s a great manga, but it still doesn’t give me the impression to push it further. When I read it I think “man what a great slice of life” there is nothing really setting it apart from the rest even with the themes it explores.

That will do it for the March reviews and tomorrow I’ll be posting a special post as well as the update for what’s to come in April; sorry for the somewhat late review, it was originally ready sooner, but I had some corruption problems and had to start anew. Regardless, I’ll see you all tomorrow for April. Peace out