#i feel bad that i really was about to just say ok and move on | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

force-unforce · 11 days ago

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0/2 on relationships lasting longer than a few months lol

#i feel bad that i really was about to just say ok and move on #thats how i roll #but imagime twllimg someone that you need to go on a break #and just getting 'ok' text back #im not that bad at commicating

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youngpettyqueen · 4 months ago

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Julian and Odo should've had more what I like to call "my autism to your autism" moments

#star trek: ds9 #julian bashir #odo #scenes of them seeing some bullshit drama and making The Eye Contact #Julian ranting about people not just outright saying what they mean and expecting him to read minds somehow #Odo sitting there like “you are the only motherfucker on this station who understands me”#with Odo's love for steamy romance novels I feel like he's tried to imitate Julian's flirting at least once #and it failed. so bad.#Julian tried to show him one time but Odo doesnt have the same charm #I think Julian also echoes some of Odo's Odo-isms #namely the “hnh!” and the tutting #which is a headcanon I developed after reading Vengeance #mandatory everybody read Vengeance tag #I think copying between these two would be very fun ok #scene where Julian is talking animatedly and moving his hands a lot #in the background you can see Odo trying to follow along and he is concentrating REALLY hard

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deus-ex-mona · 5 months ago

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i miss her…

#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all #but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up #a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less #and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads #anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time #he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often #my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know #i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona #i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye #oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man

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mollyeep · 7 months ago

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never wishing upon my female mortal enemies to fall in love with your straight girl bsf as it is actually another way to kill yourself

#i fell in love with her again #i think #shes the first and onlt person ive ever been in love with #i was there through every man giving her advice to move on why wont she move on to me #ok im done talking so sorry guys my day started out rlly bad bcuz of the yuckys #i used to think about her all the time now i feel so normal about her but also like.. not?? idk #i wont cheat on her i wont make her do things i wont suck her toes (like on of her exes) i wont give her anything bad #i wont say bad things behind her back i wont go against her i want to be her gf why wont she let me when will i be pretty enough for her #ugh real life yuri sucks so bad dude #SHE SLEEPS IN MY BED SHE SPENDS ALMOST EVERY NIGHT WITH ME #SHE GETS CLOSE TO ME SOMETIMES AND I WANNA KISS HER i never really felt this way ever #im just gonna keep this post up this is honestly the ONLY place where ill dump all this shit no one needs to know im a little fruity

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danielnelsen · 4 months ago

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so if you romance and ascend astarion you can kick him in the balls when he tries to turn you and it’s just very funny, he’s so pissy about it. so much for the most powerful vampire of all time or whatever, he stamps around like a toddler and then leaves forever

#i’m glad i saved before that choice so i can go through all the scenes i wouldn’t have got otherwise #(‘that choice’ meaning ascension)#im Fascinated by a whole bunch of stuff if you ascend him #like if you succeed on the detect thoughts (or maybe insight i forget) before he turns you to see what he think of you #it says something like ‘he will always see you as degrading yourself while you choose to be with him’ which is just BONKERS INSANE #like not confusing or anything. just wild to include. in a good way; like yeah of course that’s how he feels #and then the narrator follows it up with something like ‘but isn’t that what you want?’#like i’m glad they do actually try to impress upon you how fucked this dynamic is. they’re not trying to make you think it’s a good outcome #(i know there’s discourse about this and it’s very annoying)#(people who are like ‘actually it’s romantic and kinky’ uhh 😬)#(but then people who are like ‘how can anyone think this is ok’ and direct that towards anyone who enjoys playing it)#(like no it’s fun and genuinely interesting and i can see the appeal. just not when it comes to analysing the relationship)#(most people are aware that this is a bad dynamic they’re just playing a game chill out)#(like when i said 😬 about it being romantic/kinky i mean that from the perspective of analysing the story not personal enjoyment)#(anyway. moving on)#like i did that specific bit of dialogue probably a month or more ago and only once (because the test was really hard)#and it’s been creeping around in my head ever since. i love it lmao #i saw a video of that kiss where he makes you kneel a while ago and didn’t quite believe it was a real thing #but no it’s one of his actual default kisses. amazing #like i’m definitely gonna do a playthrough where i get everyone to make the power-hungry soul-destroying choices #and i might have to romance astarion again for that one because he definitely seems to have the most bad-decision relationship content #although he has the most relationship content full stop so it’s not surprising #but i think that’s the only one that notably changes your character during the playthrough rather than just the epilogue #personal #ash plays bg3

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runningatypufullspeed · 10 months ago

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WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO SEE MY FUGLY UGLY ASS ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE X FAHRENHEIT 451 CROSSOVER DRAWING THAT I WAS FORCED TO DO FOR SCHOOL….. ITS SO UGLY AND MONTAG IS

WHITE.

AND THE HOUNDS ARE DISGUSTING THE COLORING IS SO SHITTY AND MILDRED …. Well ok she looks alright kindof but the COLORING ….. SKETCH WAS BETTER but do you guys. Do you still want to see it…….,,,,,,

ALSO NO OFFENSE TO WHITE PEOPLE PLEASE I LOVE YOU GUYS 🫶😁�� within reason

#like ok maybe it isn’t. THAT bad #NO NO I TAKE THAT BACK I JUST LOOKED AT IT RIGHT NOW AND THE COMPOSITION IS ALL FUCKING VOER THE PLACE #IT. IT IS. THAT BAD #IF YOU GUYS SAY YESS YOULL SEE #ok but nasty bad art aside I know some of you will be asking why white Montag is such a bad thing and #there isn’t anything wrong with it!!! it’s just that for me personally #after I did a bit more thinking I was. physically incapable of perceiving Montag as anything other than POC/nonwhite #so when I look back at my old f451 art and stare into the eyes of a pale skittish twink it just #it doesn’t click. like that isn’t MY Montag if ykwim #now trembling BROWN skittish twink. that’s a different story #AGAIN I DONT have any issues with ppl making their own versions white I just think that . for me specifically. he looked a bit funny #a little off. a bit too crackerish for my liking #where is bros melanin 😭#I’m complaining right now but if I wanted to I could just… go in and try and make the skin tone darker #I might do that depending on how tired I feel after doomscrolling #also if it matters even though I have read the book over at least 8 times now not once have I touched either of the movies.#and it will STAY THAT WAY. until I completely log my notes for the book #then I can move on to the movies 🥰#but I will admit 2018 did sort of lead me to having a change of heart w my design. just a little. just a teensy bit. kinda. sort of?#actually not really now that I think about it #I have my own reasons.#TOO MANY WHITE PEOPLE MY EYES THEY BURN AAAYHHHHH MY EYES OW OW OW OWIEEEE #my Beatty design was so white that my eyes developed stage 4 cataracts #I needed a palate cleanser that WASNT Millie… oh god my Millie design…#she was white there too. terrible #it’s okay… 💔 I’ve since learned and moved on #ARGH GUYS I DONT HATE WHITE PEOPLE I JUST THINK THAT MORE SKIN COLOR VARIATIONS WOULD E NICE

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bangcakes · 1 year ago

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#personal #ladies... its lovesickness on the menu again tn NDNNDNDNDMDMDNDMDMDMDM #god help me #i made it like 29 years without this. why now NFNDNDNNDNDNDNDMD #like ok im happy to be experiencing this in the sense that like... now ik what it feels like to really like someone #but man oh man is it... A Lot #and like maybe its this intense at any age. but idk..... it feels like So Much.....#and im freaking out bc i talk to my mom about it ok. and shes like oh ya that reminds me of how i felt with ur dad in the beginning n im #just... like ... o #bc my parents were like friends first and are like in Love love and have a v happy marriage so im just #the... Potential of having that n like oh god idk. i just dont know its all too much......#and im also like what if its all in my head. but then again like why is he waiting around for me n messaging me out of the blue.#i also caught him staring at me n looking away after i caught him. i just..... idk like i wanna Believe so bad but im so scared too........#im all over the place JDJDDMDMDMDMDMDMDNJDND #but i also am just..... i'll be patient .... bc rushing is no good #like idk. i feel like things have been Moving. and its not super fast but its a pace i can handle #bc ok say i Do ask him out or he asks me.... then oh fuck. then all the Scary things happen. like ok not scary #i dint think itd be scary with him #but idk.... physical... things. would start happening n like. id l9ve to hold his hand n like k___ him ok OK. but at the same time i just..#idk !!!!!!! im v shy !!!!!@@@@@ and ya. ....... idk 😭😭😭#like i like him so much that i think id want him to .... i just .. ya idk.#getting kind of ahead of myself here but what else is new

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sublux · 3 months ago

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what an absolutely exhausting couple of years i’ve had. i hope 2025 has something good in it for me

#i simply cannot fathom life going on the way it has for me. i’ve been unable to work or function like i’m supposed to for years #but i’ve been white knuckling it through so i can afford things. oops! too burned out for that after i got laid off #and i’m so close to being completely out of money. and still have no answers about how to move forward or help or anything #it really is so isolating. it feels like i’m in purgatory #and it feels like it’s all my fault because i just ‘gave up’#and even if i do get answers from doctors. like let’s say i am autistic and have adhd and pots and eds. ok? my options won’t change #i will still have to ruin my quality of life in order to have any quality of life at all. i just want life to magically have room for me #idk i’m tired. last night i was so nauseous and eventually dry heaving because my cramps were so bad #and all i can think about is how guilty i feel for playing skyrim today while my boyfriend is at work #i want to be the kind of person who is at work #and not the kind of person who is sick/in pain and overwhelmed all the time

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googoothegodofblood · 4 months ago

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Its like. SO surreal when you grow up "alongside" an artist- youre the same age, but they had a following bigger and better before you ever had social media to begin with, you two grow up, you follow their progress and they enjoy your support..

the clock strikes 19, and suddenly its like a ticking time bomb to see if they realized the responsability on their shoulders and that they need to grow up-their sudden power imbalance with younger friends, mutuals and fans. Do they know the damage they can cause? most of them dont.

Through a mix of self unawareness and selfishness, they hurt someone. they hurt a minor and now this person you watched develop before your very own eyes is the religated piece of shit of the week and shunned from the community.

Its even worse when thats your friend..

#i was kind of in such a situation but we spoke recently and i promised to stop talking about it. sort of. i guess i forgave them?#theres some leeway into forgiveness when the offense isnt extremely dire i suppose #what Synnibear did was..not good. and her refusal to self reflect and actually maintain her apology shows shes a bad person. theres no -#-forgiveness #and the guy i knew as a kid. they were just unaware frankly #i feel kind of violated by them but we made amends and moved on. i just kinda feel..gross for it still.#so thats kind of like. a reminder. to correct my posture and not be a freak weirdo around people in general #still a shame aint it #i can now name two artists who ive respected. followed and wanted to befriend turn out to be horrible people! wow #the other guy has a ally that im in personal kahoots with aswell #. ok i know his boyfriend is what im saying #and he says theres 'personal troubles' that the victim 'failed to mention'#i really. doubt anything can excuse talking to a 16 y.o weird when youre 18-19 bro #but am i being twofaced #i forgave Chris #but its not our place to forgive Kaz #does he realize he hurt someone for life #i was hurt for life #im still struggling with that weird shit that happened to me. theres effects im trying to hurdle over #that person probably had it way worse then i did right? imagine their struggle #how is Kaz any more superior or innocent enough to be 'forgiven' and 'permitted return'#even if somehow that kid turned around and forgave him. nobody will want him back #whats done is done. and if there was a way to 'justify' or 'explain' himself ... it doesnt matter #they dont forgive him #he hurt them #fuck this dude for real

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daz4i · 1 year ago

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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them #if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person #you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect #and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops #i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck #seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate #if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted #if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use #'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way #a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels #so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process #you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them #but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you #anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol #(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really #i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.

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apathyfairy · 5 months ago

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me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money

me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend

#i want a corn dog so bad rn #ngl u guys im actually really struggling with turning 30 at the end of the year lmao #not lmao bc it really is bothering me which is so stupid i know I Know #but. and i know we're All struggling with this. but it's like god i have done nothing with my life #like fr. everyone says that but i literally have done nothing. ive never had a real 9-5 ive been freelancing since college #and tbh i guess that's not a bad thing? but self worth wise i feel like a complete loser.#but ive just made one mistake after another and i know that's what your 20s are for and u know what this is my tags and im not going #to keep contradicting myself i feel like shit bc i feel like shit and ive wasted my whole life thats that #i just feel like such a sham like i cant believe this is what 30 is like i on god feel like im still a teenager #not in a carefree kind of way OBVIOUSLY. which i never was anyway. but i just ?? feel like that #scary fucking episode of rugrats where tommy and chuckie become their dads and they go to work and theyre so fucked up bc #well theyre babies and they dont know anything. and even the fact that i just referenced rugrats to explain how i feel lmaooooo #relationship wise well u guys know how that is. and i truly couldnt care less about what people think about me not being in a relationship #ever and tbqh i dont give a fuck anymore either like. and here i go bringing this up again. but after my ex im like ok life truly is so #short fr i dont even care like anyway. anyway. the point is there is just no reality whatsoever where i pictured my life where i am now #once again living with the abusive relative i moved across the ocean to get away from.#no love life to speak of. fr dont care but god wouldnt it be nice to be loved fr.....#no career. living in a state i hate with all my heart. barely surviving money wise. which is everyone rn but #if i had known 10 years ago this would be my life i would have honestly killed myself.#like if i knew it would all turn out like this i wouldnt have moved i wouldve just fr killed myself and i wish i did lol #to be fair. i didnt see myself living past 18 but like. i just thought something would have saved me by now

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conanssummerchild · 10 months ago

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fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

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freakwiththeknifecollection · 8 months ago

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Depression is literally so embarrassing because it forces you to have confrontations like "so you know that thing that's normally no problem at all for me? Well it's genuinely upsetting me" and then have to have a whole Discussion where you have to be like "no I know it usually doesn't bother me and is very normal but I'm ✨️fragile✨️ right now because of the horrors and situations" and feel uncomfy and vulnerable and stupid about it

#and then have to deal with them treating you gentler which feels uncomfy because of the horrors even though it's what you wanted #in conclusion: bad!#it's worth it being vulnerable etc etc etc but it feels so embarrassing every time #em rambles #personal #depression #I've just been really isolated lately in addition to situations and it's making me more sensitive to social stuff you know? ugh #like how do I say hey when I'm depressed it means a lot to me when you like validate what little I am doing and like #engage and ask follow up questions when I talk about my interests instead of changing the subject or making it about your own interest #because it makes me feel like what I care about doesn't matter to anyone #which is hard to say as a severally adhd girlie because who am I to say please don't change the subject but I'm sorry I'm struggling ok!!#things Are going OK socially I saw my friends for the first time in awhile yesterday and today and I'm having a 1 on 1 hangout with a #friend who's moving a couple hours away soon this Tuesday so!! very good things!! I'm just struggling day to day feeling like I'm invisible #a lot of the time until someone wants something from me 😕#or is getting something from me like ME listening to THEM but when I wanna talk about something its like 'uhhuh that's cool. *changes #subject*' you know?#I know work school and social lives is what most people talk about and other stuff (fictional media etc.) isn't as important to people #but when you're an unemployed not in school disabled girlie that's literally all I have most of the time. and I wish people were more #understanding of that you know?#please just indulge me. gosh

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snailune · 10 months ago

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wiki how do I stop spiraling about my life once every 2 weeks I'm getting sick of it

#personal #i just want to make things so bad #it hurts to even look at something anyones made bc im not doing it #i started so late and its still so hard. i got months without doing anything bc im just exhausted from daily life #if i spend more time with my girlfriends i feel like im closer to them but then i have no time for art #if im making something im spending less time with them #and i like my job so much. i really do. i even considered just saying fuck it and going into library sciences #but i still come home barely able or willing to talk sometimes. and i dont know how to fix that #and i feel so unfulfilled and extremely lonely even tho i have friends #but i can barely get myself to draw or write even when i have so many ideas #i feel so uncomfortable in my body and so tired of trying with therapists and doctors #all of it makes me so anxious i feel sick #so Frustrated i feel dizzy. and then i still cant do anything!!!!#i dont want to live here anymore i just want to be with everyone else. but everyone is moving away or planning to. us included #but no one in the same place. it makes me so sad #i dont know what to do or how to do it when i dont have motivation to do the bare minimum #maybe i just like torturing myself by thinking i can do the things i want instead of aceepting i cant. :/ cringes #for anyone that has somehow read this far ill be ok in like 20 minutes im just having a moment dw. im fine. will handle it like an adult #and not spend to much time thinking about this

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sovonight · 2 years ago

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#ohhhhhhh i really do dislike the tonal shift in bg2/tob so much........ and by that i mean mostly in xan's mod 😭#i mean maybe the sense of betrayal and disappointment is immersive but it really leaves me with No idea what to do with him #in my version of radri's story. like. do i do my best even with all the parts i find ooc? do i cherry pick what i want and forget the rest?#and even after all my complaints i keep thinking back to his author. the fact that somehow this is the *intended* experience #currently feeling like the necromancer who resurrected their wife and is convinced she came back wrong but who just never truly knew her #i keep going back to 'estel'amin'. the fact that xan named charname his hope--and then quickly stopped using that name for her #once her bhaalspawn nature continued to affect her life after the conclusion of bg1 #so--basically--i'm to assume that he changed his mind? she's no longer his hope; his light; and if she is it's rare #he just calls her beautiful now; something far more shallow #and the fact that in tob he vacillates between subtly criticizing her for her nature which she has no control over #(and which in radri's case she has never even willingly given in to)--#and attempting to comfort her after her nature makes bad things happen to her & around her #--but then his comfort is once again undermined by the aforementioned shallow compliments #it's coming across as 'i love your body despite what you are in spirit' and really isn't a great look at all #look maybe i'm crazy but in bg1 i got the impression that he was able to accept and move past it fairly quickly #like 'ok you're a bhaalspawn so now let's move into problem solving. obviously i have to quit my job and travel with you full time'#but in bg2 he spends most of his time lamenting about how hard it must be for her to live like this #while also pointing it out as a personal flaw of hers. as if she'd had any say in who her father was #like there are npcs literally shouting 'i hate all bhaalspawn!' and here he is--supposedly her closest supporter--#also subtly saying 'i hate bhaalspawn' right to her face #when literally as a neutral alignment and as a companion of 1-2 years-- he should actually have THE most nuanced take on her???#in bg1 he says murder is unavoidable in the life of an adventurer. then in tob he comments that charname kills everyone haphazardly--#--as though in another jab to her nature. meanwhile as a constant companion he should know better than anyone that it wasn't so simple #idk. i'm almost feeling gaslighted by the narrative in a sense #because when everyone else talks about xan in bg2/tob--including charname via the dialogue options/written internal dialogue--#they say that he's ~gray~ and calm and collected and emotionless etc #meanwhile he's literally the most emotional guy in the game. like. he's freaked out SO many times #so?? how am i supposed to take anything here genuinely?? how am i supposed to engage??? SIGH #anyway today's my first day at my new job and i have to wake up in 2 hours & im certain that i'll be too nervous to eat today #my goal for today is just to not be fired 👍 12 hours from now it will be over...

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lesbovalentine · 1 year ago

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i have to be honest guys i can't be humble anymore i am good at what i do know and i know this. i'm not saying every drawing i make turns out incredible or even that i have a single drawing i wouldn't change SOMETHING in but i'm, like, good at it. i'm pretty good at analyzing media too tbh. pretty good at making amvs. i've got a good singing voice even if i'm not a technically good singer i like my voice itself and i like the act of singing. i like drawing and i am good at it. okay thats all

#i got soo frustrated today because we're making neater versions of some prototype template things at work #and i really wish i was allowed to just do it all myself because the lack of cohesion that comes from #three different people trying to do different parts of the exact same task with different attitudes and different methods #ITS KILLING MEEEEEE mine are neater mine r neater not to sound like a smug bitch but just let meeeee #ok the end. normal again <3 #IM TIRED OF THE SELF DEPRECATION IN MY WRITING CLASS #this guy comes in every day talking about how bad he is at writing. so many of us r like omg my draft is so bad #that is the mindkiller that is the joykiller u have to say i made something help me make it even better. or something #if u come in telling us ur story sucks ass im more likely to think yes it does suck ass and try to pull my punches and not give u enough #feedback to spare ur feelings ur something!!!!!!! like u cant post art saying omg this is so bad. itll make u feel worse abt ur work #itll make other people who think they arent as good as you feel worse abt their own work. its just all around NOT the move !!!!#as a creator i personally Have to project confidence i don't always feel because its better than the self deprecation that sucks away joy

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