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[g0dlyunsub]

hey!!! Ugh I just love your account! I have a request for Spencer Reid x fem reader!! Can you do one where he is always working and it makes the reader upset bc he is cancelling dates and coming home late and kinda neglects her feelings and doesn't really notice how much it affects her and how sad she gets and then he misses their anniversary dinner and she breaks and tells him that it makes her upset when he's gone all the time and he just feels so awful bc he's so in love with her and never wants her to feel that way because of him and apologizes and reassures her and makes sure she feels loved!!

ty for the request and i loved the idea for this one!

wishful thinking.

pairing :: spencer x fem!reader

warnings :: angst with a fluffy ending; very mild makeout session at the end :3

word count :: 2.4k

author’s note :: i kind of giggled at the ending as i was writing it, but i’m pretty proud of how this one turned out!

accompanying song :: neverthere by xander

spencer’s phone is quite literally the bane of your existence.

you know what to expect whenever it rings, so you hate when it actually does – its earthquaking vibrations and trilled beeps tear the happiness straight out of you.

it’s the second date in a row that he’s had to pass, and you wonder if you should just stop trying so hard. was it selfish to want to have him all to yourself, to have him seated right across from you, sharing your laughter as you pass him his plated pasta? were you expecting too much, imagining a serene life with him ten years down the road, perhaps with kids or pets of your own? was it unfair to think that you could craft a lie, telling him your stomach hurt really bad, so bad that you would have to curl up on the floor and pray he’d stay by your side just this once to comfort you?

all you ever wanted was spencer. more specifically, you wanted spencer during your first three dates, when he’d silence all of his phone calls, and wave them off like nothing even though you insisted he take them. maybe if you didn’t bring up the importance of taking work calls, none of this would have ever happened. maybe it was all coming back to bite you for your non-confrontational nature, since you could never plead him to actually stay.

but he’s your boyfriend… and that’s all that matters, right? after all, he has lives to save – people whose names are called out during prayers day and night by their loved ones as they cling on to the sliver of hope that your boyfriend and his team promise during the darkest hours. granted, spencer would drop everything if you were in a similar situation, but none of your problems have actually been life-threatening. but a girl can dream, can’t she? your first anniversary date was when spencer promised to make amends, a formal compensation for all of the past dates that he missed and left you feeling empty on your shared bed, stains of mascara chalked up on your dry cheeks.

“i’m so sorry, honey, i’ve just been… called in for work,” spencer stands, dusting the napkin that was folded nicely on his lap. you watch as he takes a sip of his glass of water, then walks over to you to plant a kiss on your forehead.

he runs his fingers along the velvety texture of the sleeves of your dress, and you offer him a weak smile.

“it’s okay, duty calls, right?” you feel the tears surfacing and you have to fight yourself to not blink. it’s too early to cry.

“i-it’s a really bad one this time, and i hate to do this on such an important day-” spencer begins to apologize frantically, and his face marks an expression of genuine concern with his brows furrowing and lips twitching.

“it’s okay. you need to go, i understand.” you state plainly, and you immediately feel shameful – your words are too assertive and snarly for how you normally respond.

spencer pauses briefly, fidgeting with his fingers, before he gives a slight nod in your direction. he then walks over to the couch, grabs a book, and tightens the clasps on his bag. 

“i’ll be back as fast as i can,” spencer utters quietly and walks out of the door. when the apartment door locks with a click, you break down immediately.

at first, the tears fall one by one. but then, a salty stream evident of pure emotional wreckage makes its way into the slight gap of your lips, and it’s an unstoppable domino effect. your shoulders shudder and heave as you struggle to catch breaths in between, and you splutter cries of your boyfriend’s name. 

maybe it would’ve been better to just stay as conversational partners, to exchange updates once in a while when he’d actually commit to a time. it was your fault for getting your hopes up high, and all of this – fanciful dinner and dressing your best for the occasion – was wishful thinking. you just didn’t want to admit it.

“y/n?” 

you look up to see spencer in front of the doorway, and his bag that was barely holding on to his shoulder drops to the floor with a thud.

you quickly look away, brushing the tears away with one arm and sniffle before choking out a response.

“i thought you left already, why are you here?” again, your words come out icier than you had hoped and hit you with a sharp pang of guilt.

spencer narrows his eyes ever so slightly as if he’s scrutinizing you, observing your body language. it doesn’t take a genius to know that you’re upset.

“i was going to. realized i forgot-,”

he clears his throat when you raise your eyebrows and proceeds, "i misplaced my wallet."

he slips out of his loafers, shoving aside his pair of converses that lie adjacent to your pretty pair of heels. he walks over to you, and you realize that you’re still seated at the dining table. you must look so stupid right now, waiting as if he’d just be returning from a bathroom break.

“i need to head out, but i promise… i promise we’ll talk about this really soon. we’ll have the anniversary dinner and-”

“did you even try?” you blurt out, and you look up at him with your puffy eyes glazed with tears.

a deathly silence clouds over the entire apartment, and you’re thinking of two options: leave the apartment and go run to a friend’s place, or confront him and see whether making amends – again, wishful thinking – would be possible.

“y/n. please believe me when i say that i’ve tried to, i’ve tried-”

you slam a hand to the table before standing up, your face twisting into an expression of outrage.

“no, because then you would’ve silenced it. you would’ve cut the call, just like you used to.” you fire your words at him as your hair sticks to the drying tears on your cheeks, and you begrudgingly wipe at your face. 

a slow sigh escapes from spencer’s lips, and he looks at you with those eyes – the eyes that seemingly warn you, saying you don’t want to go there. not right now.

but you double down on him, the rage fueling your words as you lash out. 

“it was just this one time. i only wanted you to stay for dinner just this one time.” you helplessly drop your hands to your sides, the tears landing on the floor with soft plops.

“i know. and i’m terribly sorry.” spencer bites his bottom lip and takes a step toward you. but you take a step back, and maybe that pulls a string between the two of you, because you can see how his shoulders tense up.

“look, can we talk about this when i get back? i’ll make it up to you, i swear.” he combs through his hair, the stress almost palpable as it leaks from his shaking fingers.

while you know he has to head out again, the way he so easily brushes off the conversation like it’s something he doesn’t even want to think about feeds into your disbelief. soon, however, your anger subsides into a tired frown. 

“i don’t know, you might come home late… when i’m asleep or something.” you look at the wall where a photo of the two of you is framed, and you weakly smile at how happy you seemed then. 

“i’ll give you a call, is that okay?” he searches your face for any signs of approval, but you’re zoned out thinking about the past, of how everything used to be.

“whatever, just go.” you wave him off and walk to the couch, where you lie down and turn against him to face the plush fabric.

spencer sighs, and his hand looms over your head momentarily before he grabs his wallet from the table. you hear a faint sorry trail from behind as he leaves the room, and your nails claw at the arms of the couch before the darkness cradles you once again.

it’s 10:30 pm, and you hear the doorknob click again. you had just cleaned up the dishes after eating dinner alone and left his portion in the fridge. you were now changed into your pajamas and getting ready for your night routine.

you peep out of your bedroom door to see spencer, his suit all wet. he looks at you as he takes off his shoes, and a sullen expression paints his face. did it start raining after he left? you realize that you were mostly cooped up in the bedroom since his departure, so you wouldn’t have known.

bravely looking up at him in the eye, you state: “you came back early.” you hate how unwelcoming you sound in his own home.

he pauses before he sets his wet bag on the floor and removes his blazer jacket to throw over a chair. 

he approaches you, hands in his pockets and hair twisted in matted curls. 

“hm.” he grabs a towel from the closet and makes his way to the shower, brushing past your shoulder. you feel an icy shudder spread through your spine after he closes the bathroom door.

was he giving you the silent treatment right now? 

you hear the water start from the bathroom and you sink into your bed while turning to twist the lamp lights on.

after all that torturous waiting you went through, he was giving you the silent treatment?

fifteen minutes later, a knock reverberates from the other side of the bedroom door, and even though you don’t respond, spencer steps in. he’s changed into a t-shirt and black pajama pants, and he drops next to you on the bed.

“i’m taking the week off.” 

the sentence startles you, and it’s something so unexpected you choke on your own saliva.

“what, what do you mean you’re taking the week off?” you ask him, finally turning to face him in the eyes. his brown irises blaze into your own.

“i’ve been pushing off everything you wanted to do with me — things that I wanted to do with you — and i’ve just been…” he turns away to play with the wrinkles on his pants as he speaks, picking out the dust that lies embedded between the folds.

he pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a deep sigh. he continues, “i don’t know if it’s all worth it.”

silence casts a blanket over the two of you.

“spence,” you say after a while, and hesitantly lay a hand on his thigh.

“nothing’s more important in the world to me than you. you and your happiness. i know you love this job and i know you love helping people. you’re such a kind hearted man, and it’s why i fell in love with you in the first place.”

when spencer gives you no response, you confess: “spence, i get jealous sometimes.”

this time his eyes widen, and he looks at you.

“you do?” he asks softly, peering into your eyes and you cave instantly. 

“of course i do. it’s… everybody wants you, spencer. we all need you, whether we realize it or not.”

he scoffs.

“but i only want you.”

his voice is raspy yet mellow at the same time, the smoothest stream of sweetness seeping through your eardrums. god. you can never stay mad at this gorgeous man, the same man that made you cry on numerous occasions just counting the past week.

“you need to do more than that, if you… you know.” you quietly murmur as you fidget with the hem of your nightgown.

“i know,” he speaks with a hushed tone. “i told hotch, and i told him it was going to happen whether he liked it or not. the demands of this job are… tough, but i don’t want to miss out on all the things we planned together. i won’t.”

you start bawling right when he delivers the last word, and all the tears that you were holding back spill over your flushed cheeks. your boyfriend immediately leans in to console you, pulling you into a tight embrace as his chin rests on top of your head. 

it’s okay, he murmurs reassuringly. you ease into his touch, and you realize how much you missed this. how much you missed spending time with him.

his left hand tugs lightly at your soft hair while his right rubs your back in smooth circles. 

“i missed you,” you speak with a hushed voice, looking up into his eyes as a glassy coat of tears blur your vision. 

he cups your face with his hands before whispering, “i missed you too.”

you continue to blabber words of love-stained anguish but he cuts you off short, pulling you in for a short kiss on your lips, which are now tainted with your tears.

“you taste… salty,” he whispers, giving you a slight smile as he brushes off the rest of your tears that weigh down on your eyelashes.

“it’s because of you, silly,” you drawl as you taste the salty residue of your tears.

yeah, spencer responds hesitantly. but he’s wearing a small smile, tilting his head to one side as his eyes emit a glint of tranquilizing peace.

he reaches into his pajama pocket and takes out a piece of candy. you curiously watch as his fingers quickly remove the wrapper, revealing a glazed cherry-flavored sphere. 

“may i?” he asks, and his faint voice is a gravitational force that you can’t resist.

you briefly respond with a lazy hm? before he plops the candy into your mouth and kisses you again. the sweetness explodes like fireworks with his warm breath, and the sticky layer of sugar melts like acid on your intertwined tongues. you let out a satisfied hum when you pull back, and it’s undeniably attractive the way spencer licks the corner of his lips.

a tear falls from your eye again, and this time, it’s not out of sorrow.

[prk-gunwook]

BOYS PLANET — how they love you

INCLUDES || sung hanbin | zhang hao | kim jiwoong | park gunwook | seok matthew | kim taerae | kum junhyeon | ricky

GENRE || tooth-rotting fluff

WORD COUNT || 2.1k

NOTES || this is my first post on tumblr ! had to create an account just for these boys i adore. requests are open, and please leave me feedback ! <3

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, SUNG HANBIN 𖥻 ❛ touch ❜

SUNG HANBIN touches you like you are his lifeline; like golden ichor flows through your veins and bubbly springs overflow in your mouth, as if your skin is made of fibers woven by Athena herself. His touches are feather-soft, lingering sweetly on your flesh and body, leaving fingerprints of moon dust. He wraps his hands around your torso under the cover of the sun, pressing sugary kisses to your temples early in the morning through silk curtains, whispered promises of love and devotion leaving his lips to caress your ears.

Hanbin laces your fingers together more often than not; soft hands tracing the lines of your palm as if he could read the future you two will build together there. Whether it’s a hand on your thigh, a finger wrapping around your pinky, or a head on your shoulder, he craves your touch like a starved man.

As you lay in bed, head resting softly on his chest, you peer up at him.

“Can you breathe fine like this?” You ask, eyebrows furrowing inward slightly in concern. Hanbin laughs— a short, sweet thing that rings like wedding bells in your mind— and nods.

He gazes down at you, eyes staring at you as if you hold the world in the palms of your hands, and you feel the cold touch of his fingers brushing circles against your hip.

“There is no other way I could wish to breathe,” He replies, words soft and laced with the admiration he feels for you.

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, ZHANG HAO 𖥻 ❛ fruits ❜

ZHANG HAO loves you dearly— his love runs deeper than the ocean, glittering water that shimmers and shines with every action and word you perform. You know it, he knows it, and there is nothing else either of you need. He loves you like the sun loves the moon, like the waves love the shore, like Prometheus loves his creations. He loves you like there is no other option; and for him, there isn’t.

Often, you find yourself staying up late to finish the schoolwork you neglect until the last minute, pencil in your mouth and eyes narrowed in thought. Problems and their solutions swim in your mind, crossing over into the other and leaving you more and more confused.

“You need to sleep,” Hao’s stern voice comes from the doorway, arms crossed in discontent as he watches you study.

“I need to finish this,” You argue, even as your eyes beg for sleep and your knees ache from sitting down for hours. You can hear Hao move across the room, floorboards creaking softly underfoot as he makes his way toward you.

“At least eat something,” He says, placing a bowl of crisp apple slices in front of you. You pick one up, noticing how the skin has been cut in a specific way to resemble a bunny. Before you can thank him he’s gone, out the doorway— probably to sleep.

The next day, as you sit down to study, you notice a bowl of freshly-cut bunny apples waiting for you, and a small sticky-note with the words “try and sleep early tonight”.

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, KIM JIWOONG 𖥻 ❛ long drives ❜

KIM JIWOONG was always extremely stubborn when it came to road safety— not that it was a bad thing, you could appreciate it, really. Eyes on the road, two hands on the steering wheel, music never too loud, and seatbelts are buckled before the car moves even a millimeter. But ever since meeting you, he’s taken to driving one-handed, always leaving one hand open for you to hold.

Inside his car, there is only you and him. There is only Jiwoong’s devotion to you. There is only starlight and sublime tears, moonlit kisses and beating hearts that mold into one, only his hand in yours.

No words need to be exchanged as wheels turn steadily on pavement roads, soft chirps of grasshoppers and croaks of frogs filling the empty spaces. There are no words that need to be exchanged when they’ve all already been said; “I love you” loses its meaning after a while, and now your love is found in the feeling of his hands on yours, of your eyes interlocking gazes in the rearview mirror, of hidden smiles and inside jokes. Now, your love is found in the lack of words needed when Jiwoong grabs his keys from the wall and only has to look at you to ask if you want to go on a drive with him.

No words are needed when you love as strongly as you do.

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, PARK GUNWOOK 𖥻 ❛ this reminded me of you ❜

PARK GUNWOOK thinks that, if there are a million universes, he loves you in every single one. He has bared his heart for you to take like a oyster with its pearl— he would rip apart his heart and sew it back together in the shape of you, for you are in the only thing in it. He sees his entire world in you, and in the world he sees you.

He sees you in the lipstick mark of an abandoned coffee cup, he sees you in the sketchy lines of a street mural, he sees you in blossoming bouquets of spring and bicycles parked on the beach. When Gunwook enters a shop, every item relates back to you; how would you like this shirt on him? Would this look cute on you? Is this your style of decor?

He doesn’t mean to buy you so many things, really, it just happens. As you dance in your living room with him, choked laughter ringing in the air, a collection of miscellaneous items decorate your walls and shelves.

A penguin sculpture for the way you purse your lips in thought. A magazine cut-out of an ad for the same picnic blanket you had your first date on. A collection of pink stickers scattered along the walls for the color of your shirt the day he asked you out.

This room is a log of your m emories; of the love you share, of the tears and the smiles, of all the good and the bad and the in-between. It’s a dictionary of every moment the two of you have shared, fluent in the language of love. And yet there are so many empty spaces, empty pages, for the next moments to come, and you doubt this book will ever close.

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, SEOK MATTHEW 𖥻 ❛ admiration in his eyes ❜

SEOK MATTHEW is like the sun. Bright, happy, a shining, glimmering light that can cast even the most gloomy of days away. His smile is like the medicine to a sickness you never knew you had, his eyes crescent rainbows that reflect every good feeling you can have, his laugh like the ripples of a fresh river swirling around your legs in summer. Seok Matthew is the sun in every meaning of the word.

And you are his moon. He would chase you to the ends of the Earth for eternity just for a glimpse of your smile, just a word from your lips, just a small glance at your eyes, and he would do it for longer than the term “forever” can communicate. He will follow wherever you go, no matter if it’s down to a fiery pit of justice or up to a symphony of angels chorusing for you.

When you speak, Matthew’s eyes are fully on you. Never will it stray (and he has suffered being the butt of many, many jokes because of this), but he can’t help it. Why would he ever want to look away from you, if you are all he ever wants to look at? Stars in his eyes, but you are his one moon.

He hardly ever dreams when he sleeps, for every moment with you is enough to last him through his years without a wink of slumber. He would never have to rest his head if only he can hear you laugh everyday— when you smile, he smiles, and it lights up the world.

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, KIM TAERAE 𖥻 ❛ love songs ❜

KIM TAERAE wonders how anybody enjoyed listening to him sing before he met you, for he never knew true love before. Never has he been able to sing fully with the implication of knowing, never has he embarked on the journey of admiration the songs describe, and never has he known this warm, bubbly feeling called love. Now, every word is charged with the meaning of you; the love he holds for you, the smiles he hides for you, the guitar strings he strums for you, the songs he sings just for you.

His Spotify playlists have become perhaps seven times longer than before, filled to the brim with soft songs that he dedicates entirely to your being.

“Your lips, my lips,” Taerae sang, voice sweet but gravelly, the melody tuned to the sound of beating hearts and hushed kisses. You sit next to him, watching his lips move in a fixed fascination as his deft fingers strum the strings of his guitar like an expert. He plays the strings of your heart the same way; with a practiced ease, like it was what he was born to do.

“Go and sneak us through rivers,” He continues, eyes focused not on his guitar but on you. Taerae thanks every soul that has ever lived on Earth before this, and every soul after, that you were born in such a time and place that he could meet you and fall in love. “Flood is rising up on your knees.”

“Oh please, come out and haunt me.”

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, KUM JUNHYEON 𖥻 ❛ bad movies ❜

KUM JUNHYEON has always been a warm person; he is made of fiery spirits and nipping branches, of autumn leaves tumbling to the ground in piles, ready to be jumped in. He’s made of loud words and screaming laughs, of bad aeygo and joking whispers, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He is entirely odd, and he’s entirely yours.

So it makes sense he shows his love for you through bad movies. You have never laughed as much as you have when you sit with him on a worn-down couch, bowls of popcorn in your hands, tall cups of soda ready to be drunk on your table. Never have you laughed so hard you snorted except for when Junhyeon made you watch The Emoji Movie with him and interrupted every other sentence to make a joke— and even after that, Junhyeon couldn’t get a joke out because he was laughing too hard at the fact you snorted.

Laughter is uncontrollable when you’re around Junhyeon— when you cuddle up next to him, and even when your eyes are begging for sleep, you can’t stop laughing. When you’re sure you’ve got abs from the hours of jokes, when you’re certain you’ll have laugh lines deeper than the grand canyon after how many years you’ve spent with Junhyeon.

It’s odd, yes, but it’s so entirely Junhyeon.

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, RICKY 𖥻 ❛ gifts ❜

RICKY is young, rich, tall, and handsome, there is no denying that. One thing they never revealed is the fact he’s perceptive— frighteningly so. If you even mention liking something in passing, rest assured there will be a basket of it in your kitchen the next day. If you spend even a fraction of a second too long looking at a piece of jewelry, best believe it’s draped around your neck the next day.

It’s not that he enjoys flaunting his wealth. It’s just… what else should he use it for, if not the one he loves the most? He would buy a thousand gems of the rarest ore just for a single second of your happiness. He would sell his fortune for the feel of his hand in yours— he’d even give up hairspray just to kiss your lips once.

Ricky thinks and feels so much all the time, his heart is bruised and bleeding, but you have become a doctor just to repair him. He loves you in the way nobody can understand; and he does not need understanding when he has admiration. He thinks there is a chapel within his heart entirely dedicated to you; that if he is reincarnated, it will be as a passing breeze that thinks only of you.

“I love you,” He says more often than he thought he ever would.

“I love you, too.” He hears back more often than he thought possible.

—

[familyagrestefanblog]

Hi! Been loving reading through all your Miraculous reblogs and the meta you've written - you have some really great stuff on this blog! I was curious if you've ever written/reblogged anything talking about how, from the very start of the show, Miraculous uses Tikki as Marinette's absolver? Marinette "makes mistakes" and "owns up to them" according to Astruc's tweets, but I find myself feeling that the "accountability" she takes is rarely related to what she did wrong in the first place, even when the show tries to tell us otherwise, and it's usually Tikki or a different yes-man, like Alya or Adrien, absolving her of her mistakes, whether the situation had anything to do with them or not. Ikari Gozen is an episode that always comes to mind for this - Marinette is absolutely terrible to Kagami, sabotaging her, badmouthing her, and going through her phone. Marinette never expresses remorse to anyone but Tikki, but Tikki absolved her so the narrative never addresses the issue again. Tikki tells her "it's never too late to make things right" and Marinette invites Kagami out for juice without ever taking accountability for her previous actions. And Kagami just GOES with it, even stating that SHE was wrong about Marinette and that she understand why Adrien values her. I I will admit, I don't really like Marinette as a character, because I find her consistent self-absorption, and the narrative's endorsement of it, to be really maddening, but I'm pretty new to the fandom, and the subreddit isn't a great place to find thoughtful analysis, so I'm looking for perspectives here! Thank you for your time!

Hey, thank you so much for your kind words! <3 sorry for taking so long. I've had my ask box deactivated for several years now and i completely forgot about me already having started replying in my drafts. 😭👏

__

No, I don't think I've ever written or reblogged something about Marinette's dynamic with Tikki, but I do have thought about it. For me, their dynamic is just lacking much... idk, substance? I remember reading from Marinette stans that they think Marinette and Tikki have a much deeper bond than Adrien and Plagg which is something I simply cant understand at all. Plagg is the only person Adrien actually truly HAS in all the neglect and bad treatment he's stuck in from all sides. Plagg takes on so many roles for his kid and has grown so much because Adrien needed it.

The thing is, Tikki and Marinette's dynamic is very different so I'm just not able to properly read them because I personally would need a Plagg in my life and that's perfectly fine. That's why I dont talk about them.

But about your point now:

I definitely agree that Tikki is one of the main indicators about what is wrong about the way Marinette is written as protagonist, especially since the retooling in season 4. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Tikki also used to have a bigger presence in the how which was by now mostly made redundant by Alya always being with Marinette and in season 4 Marinette (unnecessarily and dangerously) keeping all the Kwamis outside the box all times so they too stole screen time from Tikki.

So Tikki lost alot of her personality. I believe to remember her also being more energetic and excited in the earlier seasons, showing off more to her character, which would by now make her yet another character the show sucked alot of their life out of so they aren't in the way for Marinette. Tikki seems alot more down these days, that I definitely noticed.

Marinette has Alya now, if that makes Tikki sad because she isn't relying on her the way she did before then Tikki has to deal with it quietly and not bother Marinette (seriously, Tikki reminds me ALOT of Adrien and they're both treated badly in the narrative for Marinette’s sake :/)

And this reduced characterization makes it by now very noticeable imo that Tikki herself as a Kwami often doesn't really know what is going on because she lacks experience with alot of things. I wholeheartedly agree that Tikki is one of Marinette's strongest and most damaging enablers because Tikki is because of it not actually allowed to be challenged in her dynamic with Marinette the way Plagg is with Adrien. Where Plagg is allowed to grow, Tikki is kept the same because Marinette is not allowed to be really pushed back on.

The show has to my memory always been quite open about Tikki not being familiar with alot of things so Marinette can explain things to her. The problem comes, as you say, from the show then weirdly still acting like Tikki saying some random vaguely positive thing about whatever Marinette just did.. suddenly meaning it doesn't need to be taken care of anymore?

It's the same thing as the show has Adrichat, Alya or Luka do. Most of what the narrative and Marinette as the main character want to hear at this point is being told positive things whenever something went wrong. If that positive thing actually holds any water the way it was executed is beyond irrelevant which reflects incredibly badly especially on Marinette because she is the main beneficiary.

Again, remember Cat Charming in "Kuro Neko". From Marinette's perspective he should have no valid opinion on the Ladynoir conflict AT ALL because he just arrived half an hour ago and never even met Chat Noir in her eyes. But still, Marinette made him the deciding voice of the Ladynoir conflict, absolving her of all blame to entirely put it on Chat Noir, because Cat Charming validated her and said positive things about her mistakes so she doesn't have to really think about them as mistakes anymore if she wishes to not have been in the wrong.

Which for the show somehow equals that she isn't and they aren't real mistakes anymore she should genuinely work on (and therefore still hasn't really beyond surface level)?

Who tf cares if this is literally not how it works and how badly it reflects on Marinette as a character that any random dipshit can walk up to her, validate her, and she'll just... GO with it (making Marinette ironically the most endangered person regarding Cerise now because that girl has plenty of identities and Marinette doesn't give a damn who's validating her as long as she's validated by a person not explicitly telling her they're evil)

Where was I? Ah, Tikki!

Tikki is at the end of the day yet another character who's kindness is kinda weaponized by now by Marinette's narrative.

We've reached a point where one kinda has to say that Marinette shouldn't be told optimistically positive things anymore because not rarely will these words just be used to sweep Marinette's biggest flaws under the rug when it really wouldn't have hurt anyone to simply cover the damn conflict at hand.

As you said, there are writing rules, but I think they were "Marinette has to make a mistake every episode" and "Marinette has to learn something every episode". And as you correctly said, these two things often don't necessarily go hand in hand. To the point where the thing she learns is making the initial mistake even worse (I wanted to look for a more precise example, but at this point it's literally all of Ladynoir)

Which of course absolves her of having to properly take her blame or accountability in ot of cases, too. If I were to approach it in bad faith, I would say that this is exactly the reason why the writing rules don't specify that the lesson learned needs to be about the mistake she made... and that's exactly what I'm saying. Bad faith sounds rather realistic to me.

I remember someone having had made a post where they explained that Marinette as protagonist is written like a villain or antagonist, and the more I look at all the aspects of this show the more does that take check out.

__

(damn, I am out of PRACTICE in responding to asks! I hope I didn't talk right past the point you wanted to hear in my response. If I did, please clarity with another ask, I'm not sensitive to that)

[least-carpet]

No, no, but now I want to read your ideas about how wwx is set to an implosion in 1-3 years. How do you get him there? In canon, he needed jyl's death, the wen siblings death, the world against him

Another neglected anon! Sorry for the late response and happy new year!

I actually think what we saw in terms of Wei Wuxian's devolution after Jiang Yanli's death qualifies as an explosion rather than an implosion, i.e. the force was directed outwards from the centre and killed whoever was in the blast radius. I don't think he'll do that.

I do think we see him implode earlier than that though, in the post-war period, where he drinks excessively (to the point that Wen Qing comments on it), he's unreliable, his moods are volatile, he self-isolates, etc.

To be fair, a certain amount of this is related to not having a golden core and practising demonic cultivation. However, I also tend to read it as a reaction to his war trauma, since self-medicating is a pretty normal response to surviving horrifying events?

Let me be clear that I don't think he always used alcohol like this—I think his partying as a teenager became a problem in adulthood. I think that was always a risk for him for a variety of reasons (we know that he survived becoming a homeless orphan and doesn't remember big chunks of his childhood, which tends to indicate trauma) but I don't think we see it happen until after the war, during which he saw and did some buckwild shit. I also don't know that he ever developed a physical dependence on alcohol, just that his post-war alcohol use looks pretty dysfunctional given its context and all the other choices he was making.

So. Given what we know about:

his behaviour in the post-war period;

his behaviour immediately post-resurrection, specifically that we see him desperately trying to avoid people, places, and situations that make him remember traumatic events from his first life;

his partner, specifically that Lan Wangji doesn't have a real barometer for what "normal" drinking looks like, and also has a tendency to enable Wei Wuxian;

where his partner lives, the extremely calm and controlled Cloud Recesses, where everything is on a strict schedule, therefore predictable and regular, and many activities Wei Wuxian likes are just not allowed—

We have a scenario where a person who thrives in exciting situations and likes working under pressure is living in place that is quiet, regular, and predictable. He is not supposed to drink there, but has a spouse who's willing to smuggle in as much alcohol as he wants. He has thus far throughout the story distracted himself from processing a long series of very traumatic events, and has only been willing to be in relationship with people who can't or won't hold him accountable. All of those feelings are waiting to explode out of the closet he's stuffed them in and fall on his head. And now he's often in a place where there's nothing fun to do...

Like, I think that it might take a minute, since the euphoria of new love will at least provide, you know, some positive feelings, which are their own distraction. (Plus all the sex! And night-hunting!) And Lan Wangji has many qualities that make him a real support to Wei Wuxian, and that might get him through that inevitable post-honeymoon period of quiet where all his feelings pop out and come for him. But I don't think that's going to be a fun experience for anyone?

TL;DR I think eventually he will have to stop running away and actually think about what he's lost, and we know what he does with Bad Feelings he doesn't want (excessive drinking, avoidance, withdrawal from loved ones). Grief and shame are gonna get you every time!

[okifyouinsist]

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)

1. why did you choose your url?

growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit

7. why did you choose your header?

loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr

10. how many followers do you have?

BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)

11. how many people do you follow?

37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont

16. do you like tag games?

YES (said in a very normal voice)

17. do you like ask games

YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad

20. what is the last song you listened to?

Mamichula- Bizarrap

21. what are you currently watching?

in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl

23. what is your current relationship status?

this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single

24. what is your current obsession?

sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021

ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt

[moonlightknightess]

Heartbroken!Sasha is finally here!

It really came out longer than I expected 💀 and I can only blame my indecisive ass for it 😭 As I mentioned before, this is just the first part of a two-shot fic (initially 3 parts long but sticking to two now), mostly introduction + a small taste I have in store for part 2 👀 Hope you enjoy!

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.

.

- 2 years! - Her throat hurts with soreness, her eyes stung with sadness, her nose leaking snot until Mikasa handed her a tissue - I spent the last 2 years of my life trying to build a future for him! For us! And this is how he repaid me!? By fucking some whore on my damn bed!? -

It was already bad enough how Niccolo neglected her months before her discovery, the once sweet guy who used to wake her up with breakfast in bed was now a coldhearted douche that only acknowledged her existence when he needed something from her

She should have trusted her gut right when it started to show her all the weird signs, several red flags manifested in the form of late-night homecomings and new passwords for personal social media accounts and phones of his she used to be able to check freely, ignored for the sake of their already crippled relationship, wishing it was all in her mind and that it was just a matter of time before they went back to the normalcy they used to love so much

– I’m so sorry, Sasha - Her soothing hand rubbing on her back alleviates the ache in her heart at least a little. - I… don’t know what to think… I would have never expected him to pull out something like on you - 

She can’t blame her for that, she herself doesn’t know what to make out of this fiasco either, she was supposed to come back home early after an uneventful day at work and chill out the rest of the night alongside him. She only found out about this because of mere luck and no more.

It must have been crazy from her point of view, being called by her best friend and only hearing her erratic voice on the other end, begging her to come and pick her up as she shouted and screamed at several unknown individuals

By the time she arrived at her rescue along with his boyfriend Eren in his car, the shit show was already on its grand finale. with a Niccolo barely clothed holding her from running away, begging her to “talk things out” and a red-faced Sasha fighting tooth and nail to get away from him, berating his whole existence as she did so, his mistress hiding in the apartment several floors up from the reception where they were

It took Eren threatening him to beat the shit out of him to let her go for once. hurrying quickly to his car and parting away from a chapter of her life she wished it ended in a more positive note.

- It doesn’t matter - Sasha says, voice watery as she cleans her nose with yet another tissue, tossing it on the carpet of the car, stocking-pilling them on the floor - I couldn’t care less about him, or his stupid whore side chick! - her nostrils flared with anger as she got worked up, her hand holding a fist so tightly she could see her knuckles turning white - In fact, I couldn’t care less about men in general! They ain’t shit! On god! - … - No offense, Eren -

- None taken - He answered, making a left turn as he drove them home - Look, I know a couple of ways to kill somebody and get away with it, so if you-

She lets a small chuckle at his joke, Mikasa playfully chastising him for putting weird ideas in her mind

She lets her head rest on Mikasa, placing herself on the crock of her shoulder and her neck as she lets her keep rubbing soothing circles on her back, her own hand sneaking its way to hers and lacing them together, her breath calming when it meets the sweet scent of Mikasa’s perfume

Still, that doesn’t stop her eyes from breaking loose like a waterfall, her nose once again ugly-snotting and her facade finally crumbling as she feels Mikasa’s hand unknotting her ponytail, a sense of relief cursing through her scalp as she feels her hair free from its hold

- I loved him - She can’t help the tears staining Mikasa’s porcelain white skin, the hold on her hand growing harder and Mikasa holding back just as hard - I saw myself getting married to him in the future, having his kids in the future, and yet-

- Everything is going to be okay - Mikasa is firm in her words and yet soft to the touch, the hand that petted her hair now lifting her by the chin and holding her face up, her thumb erasing the trace of tears tarnishing her cheek and she makes her stare straight in the eyes - You are an amazing girl, Sasha. One with a love to share, and one that deserves even more - Mikasa rests her forehead against hers as she whispers to her heart, making it flutter with every word - Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise - 

She can’t help the smile that starts to form in the corner of her lips, her hands quickly trying to erase any hint of tears from her face as she feels renovated with sheer motivation

- You are right - She thanked her truthfully, getting lost in the void of her onyx eyes if only for a little - I’m so sorry you have to bear with me like this… I must have looked pathetic - 

- You are not pathetic - Mikasa ensures - Why would you say that? -

- You know why - Sasha responds back - I mean, when compared to you, all this circus must have looked like a child's game to you… Like, here I am, losing my mind over my now ex-boyfriend fucking some skank, meanwhile, you two have an open relationship, and you don’t get bothered about each other seeing different people! Seriously, how!?  -

She sometimes can’t believe that up to this day, these two have had this kind of arrangement for a while now, almost as long as her relationship with Niccolo lasted

Especially when in the first years she knew they have been dating, they seemed to have a clear case of jealousy for each other, arguing every other week

Straight out of a rom-com, if she must say.

 - This and that are different, Sasha - She hears Eren respond after a short silence, meeting his gaze through the rear mirror, alternating between looking at her and looking at the road as he did so - Just because we are fine with each other having partners of the side, it doesn’t mean we are free to do as we please… Just like in monogamy, we got rules, it just happens that having other partners does not break any rule -

- I know that! - She says with mocking offense, she was well aware of how open relationships worked, she just wanted to make a comparison between her dilemma and their daily occurrence - But now that you mention it, what are your rules anyway? Like, the ones that dictate your other partners - She is genuinely curious about it

- There aren’t too many to be fair - He chuckles a little - Actually, It all boils down to letting the other one know who they are going out with and either approve it or not.. that and not letting ourselves get too emotionally attached with said partners - 

It was simple enough, and yet it doesn’t really answer this particular question that has been plaguing her mind, one that just started to form the moment she officially got things done with Niccolo

- Huh? Thats all? - She turns her head in Mikasa’s direction, her face betraying no emotion as she just nods her head - What about… you know, close friends? Like, are they off limits or…? -

A pregnant silence forms the moment she blurted out those words, the air inside the car growing hotter as Sasha regrets little by little her words 

- It depends - Erens responds, breaking the awkward quietness - We don’t really make a point of chasing anyone we both know so it doesn’t make things weird between us, but there can be exceptions -

- Oh god - Sasha gets taken aback, her mouth parted as she still processes those words - Does that mean you already did it with someone I know!? -

- Who knows!? - He makes a point of looking at her yet again through the rear mirror - Maybe you do, maybe you don’t! In fact, what makes you believe that it’s just me alone that did it? - 

- So it was Mikasa!? -

- Again, who knows!? -

- You gotta tell me! - 

- Nu-uh -

- Come on! You can’t just tell me something happened and then not tell me what happened - 

- If you want to know so bad go as Mikasa then! -

As if on cue, the moment she turns in Mikasa’s direction she is already looking out into the window as if the dark fields of nothingness were pretty interesting to see

- Mikas-

- No -

- But whyyyyyy? - She is already pouting at this point

- Because you were not supposed to find out… no one, actually - She said as a matter of a fact - But some people can’t keep a secret even if their lives depended on it -

Eren just laughs harder at her stab

- I know how to keep a secret! - She begs - Gimme at least a hint so I can connect the dots! Anything! But please let me knoooow! -

Mikasa let out a sigh as she seems to reconsider her words, still staring out the window as she says - We had a threeway with Armin -

- Oh. My. God! - She screams way too loud, managing to startle Eren of the road for a little before he composes the car - Way to go, girl! - She gets her hand up as if waiting for a hi-five, accomplish it once Mikasa raises her own, a pink shade of blush and a small smile adorning her face as she did so - I didn’t know you were into guys tho, Eren! -

- I am not - He clarifies - I didn’t do anything with Armin, it was all about Mikasa, it was her birthday after all -

- Oww how sweet! - She can’t help but pinch his cheeks - You two are just making me jealous now! -

- Hey stop that! You are gonna get us off the road! - 

- Alright alright! But for real though… It amazes me how unbothered you seem to be about all of this…- 

- It's just a matter of getting used to it… Besides Armin is my best friend too so it wasn’t that hard to deal with - 

- Yeah but still, it’s crazy… Do you really don’t mind people getting frisky with your girlfriend? -

- As long as I agree with it, then it's fine - 

- … What about me though? -

- Huh? - Both of them answered, as if they meant to coordinate like that 

- Like… - She can’t help herself, her mind racing 200 mph as she once again laces her fingers in Mikasa’s and rests her head above her chest, her mouth tickling her skin as she speaks - If I were to want to make out with Mikasa for being such a good friend and comforting me in my time of need, would you allow it? Would I… have your permission to do it? -

She can barely make sense of her behavior, let alone understand it. It’s not like she is intoxicated with any substance or she is suddenly having a mental breakdown regarding the current events so she has something to blame it on.

But if she had to guess, it would be the need to have something else to occupy her mind, to try to remove today's bad memories and replace them with better ones.

– … That would be hot, not gonna lie - He admits - still, it’s not me you should be asking permission for… yet -

She raises up from her safe hideout in Mikasa’s body, almond locking on black pearl as she takes in the sight of a surprised Mikasa, mouth gaped and the subtle shade of pink growing redder.

– … I … I don't know what to say, Sasha, I -

– A “yes” is good enough for me -

– Sasha! -

– Alright alright! - She holds her hands up in defeat - Look, I'm sorry for blindsiding you like this, not cool on my part I’ll admit… - She is genuinely apologetic, - I… I just need someone to make forget about this mess, if I am being honest with you - She lowers her face down in shame as she confesses her intentions - if you don’t feel like it that would be fine by me, it was worth the shot after all -

Her heart pounds against her ribcage as Mikasa gazes at her with uncertainty, a doubtful expression that flicks between Eren and her every so often, a silent understanding that she is yet to accomplish with a loved one.

Seconds felt like minutes and minutes felt like hours, her throat eager to call this off and to forget about it, her eyes locking on her sneakers and her fingers playing with each other until she felt the ever so calming hold of Mikasa’s on them, palm securing her fidgetiness as her sights get devoured by the darkness.

It takes her a couple of seconds to notice the warmness enveloping her whole, her mouth meeting the delicious flavor of mint that makes her dizzy in desire, the sudden weight of her body pilling on her little by little, threatening to make her lose balance until a particularly sharp turn made by the car throws her down, her back on the entirety of the back seat as Mikasa hoovers from above, hands floored against the cushion on either side of her head

- …If that's what you really want - Her breath is labored and erratic, her tongue swiftly licking off the remnants of her and her wrist smudging her black lipstick as she tries to get any trace left, teeth shining pretty bright making her lose any sense of control - Then so be it -

Mikasa proves to be too much to deal with the moment her hands start scouting through her body. Frisky fingers held onto her scorching hot skin as she caressed her ever-so-delightfully, her silk-like touch making her squirm on the cotton of her shirt as the wetness of her tongue took a toll on her neck, fleeting kisses meeting the crook of her shoulder and making her hold to dear life.

It takes her no effort to completely discard her plain pink blouse, her chest’s only layer of protection the lame white sports bra she wore from the gym and couldn’t bother to change out out of the bad timing of the recent events, her eyes locking on her chest with such adoration it makes her pass out on the spot.

- So beautiful… - Mikasa whispers to herself, hand shamelessly sneaking underneath the suffocating cloth around her chest, palm holding her firmly and so tenderly it embarrasses her how it manages to coax a small moan out of her - It just makes more mad to see how wasted you were on that asshole - 

She could have never be able to stop her even if she tried, the quick dive in she made on her chest taking her out of guard and her brazen kisses coating her whole: Chest, nipples, underboob and everything in between. Her hold on her head and her cries of her name not enough to deter her from coating her in black lipstick kissmarks

- God - Sasha whispers this time, a switch inside her turned on now that she gets to see the gorgeous mess that Mikasa made out of her, to see the kind of desire and devotion she longed for anyone to have for her, to drown herself in her sweet delusions that somehow became her new reality

She barely notices the vehicle coming to a halt as Mikasa devours her whole yet again, knee expertly placed between her legs where she is getting hot and bothered, hands threatening to make her tight shorts come loose, and hungry kisses robbing the air out of her until she feels like passing out, tongues dancing the more their liplock skillfully lasted until-

- We arrived - Eren says from outside the window, opening the door above their heads, the coolness in the air washing over her as a bucket of water, the both of them caught like a pair of deers in headlights as he takes his sweet time admiring the view he deems it enough, walking to back to the car instead

Mikasa is the first one to get composed, effortlessly getting out of the vehicle, leaving her alone with her thoughts, letting her process what just happened and what she should do next, pondering what could be her best course of action until the harsh sound of the cars vault closing finally snaps her out of it.

Her eyes tried to adjust to the sudden light of the lamps lighting up to their arrival, the both of them exchanging thoughts and not courteous enough to let her join their conversation, barely getting a glimpse of their conversation that she wasn’t trying to eavesdrop at all… 

Seriously, she was not!

It isn’t until she sits properly and pays more attention to her surroundings that she notices that she isn’t in her parent's place yet, the parking place of the apartment complex where they were not looking close at all to the one she used to park her father’s car, back when she used to live with him before moving to Niccolo’s place…

- This isn’t my pop's place, though… - She cringes a little as she speaks, because it feels like a pathetic attempt at deflecting, trying to ignore the giant elephant in the room, but still, she gotta get her answers 

- I can tell -  Eren answers back, a small smile directed at her as Mikasa berates him with a slap on the chest

If it weren’t because he was her best friend’s boyfriend she would kick where it would hurt him the most for mocking her like that…

- I assumed you were gonna stay with us - He says as he throws one of her backpacks over his shoulder, her large suitcase in one of his hands as the other one hands her the small purse she had with her - It didn’t look like you were done back there, to be fair - 

…

Ok, at least it was not awkward anymore

But still

He could use a thing or two about subtleness

He hurries himself into Mikasa for a tight half-hug before she can get too mad to him, making her best performance of trying to talk sense into him until he is basically showering her in pecks and half-hearted apologies, pecking him on the mouth with very same lips that coated her whole

It’s only when he manages to tame her into her lovey-dovey soft self that he returns back to her, offering a helping hand out of courtesy, bringing her out of the car so he can lock it 

- … You are unbelievable sometimes, Yeager - She allows him to keep her hand in his hold, a reassuring grip that she doesn’t mind at all 

- What can I say, I’m really eager to see you two go at it - 

It honestly takes her by surprise the way he gets close to her little by little, her body trapped between his and his car, their height gap in it’s full glory the moment she has to raise her head to meet his eyes, his frame getting dangerously close to her and his sturdy frame shadowing her whole, her mind yet again racing 100 miles per hour as she tries to find out what was going on, her face yet again taking a pinkish shade the more he studies her with his gaze, his unbothered expression turning into a mocking smile the more he realizes just how much of a hold he has on her, his hand sneakily guiding hers until-

- Jesus christ! - 

She can’t help the small scream and the high-pitched gasp that she lets out when she gets to see the sudden source of warmth and hardness that meets her hand, palm mindlessly feeling up the very noticeable outline of his length that tries to bulge its way out of his pants, his hand holding hers making her aware of the culprit of her current position

- Can you feel it? - She does, she does feel its heavy weight in the palm of her hand and the way it twitches whenever she applies the smallest of pressures on it, and she can’t help but reminisce about that time she was desperate to prove that the reason Eren refused to tell how big he was in that truth or dare game they played a couple of years ago was because he was insecure about his size, and that Mikasa only reason to stick to “it’s big” as her only response was because she was being a supportive girlfriend 

- It’s been like this since you teased me when you two had your fun - He makes her feel him up and down shamelessly, her hand hesitating between shying away or following his guidance, holding onto him on a tight grab that she swears it makes his breath hitch, if only a little, - Hell, I was hoping to have a turn if i am honest -

She is speechless, her mouth on a surprised “o” that she shuts as soon as she hears him snickering right in front of her, his confession making her feel a small pinch of guilt

She did this to him, whether she meant it or not, right? So it’s only fair she makes it up to him

Right?

…

It probably didn't work like that

Scratch that, it doesn’t work like that

But then again…

It’s not like she is opposed to the idea.

It would have been easier to go along with it if he wasn’t so weird about it, though

Seriously, she still can’t believe this is the guy Mikasa chose.

For real.

She lets out a sigh of relief as she makes up her mind, eyes locking onto him as she makes a point of keeping her hand right where he placed it, making sure he can feel her sharp nails digging through the fabric of his tight jeans, trying to encircle his whole girth in her palm, even if she failed to do so

She stands up on her tip-toes despite how caged she feels, blood rushing through her veins and a sense of giddy warmness swallowing her whole.

- Give me your worst, Yeager -

It’s ok

Everything it’s going to be ok…

.

.

.

She can’t help but wet the soft pillow as she bites it, teeth chewing so hard on the silk-like cloth it starts to hurt her jaw

Still, there is so much she can do to prevent them from driving her insane, her legs closing on Mikasa’s head not enough to deter him from making out with her lower lips

In fact, it has quite the opposite effect on the both of them, the telltale of Eren’s teeth pinching on her glutes and his hands forcing her knees apart letting her know he wasn’t a big fan of what she tried to pull off

- Do you mind? - He doesn’t bother stopping licking as he speaks, his voice muffled beyond recognition, tongue lapping at her rear mindlessly and yet so delightfully it makes her want to scream, to claw her nails on his skin and tear it open so she can’t escape from this sweet torture.

She can barely tell how long it’s been since she has found herself like this: topless, tossing and turning on their king-sized bed, her chest glued to the mattress, her hips raised in the air and with their leeching asses sucking the life out of her from below, kissing and tonguing her folds and rear alike as if it was their mission of life, slurping the very essence of her the same way a starved man lost in a desert would

And maybe, maybe that’s the reason why she can’t keep up anymore, because her wobbly knees are threatening to give up on her at any moment, her insides burning with a passion only found in the very flames of hell, her body a sweaty mess that already soddened the mattress below her, her lungs barely getting enough air by how hyperventilated she was

- …Mika!… - She cries, hand reaching behind her despite the discomfort of bending her back, barely grabbing the mess of hair in his head, trying to push him away -Please! I am-

Her pleas fall on deaf ears it seems, Mikasa’s response coming in the form of cheeky kisses on her moistness, her delicate thumbs spreading her folds open before she spits on it in such a vulgar way it has her rethinking if this was the same girl that managed to convey a million emotions in just one kiss

- What now? Quitting already? - He grabs her by the very same hand that tried to push him away, forcing it on the small of her back as he literally eats her ass whole, lips kissing her ring carelessly and yet exciting so many moans out of her as he does so

- I can’t anymore! - She can barely make sense of what she tries to say, being double timed like this was new to her, and she honestly believes it is way more than what she bargained for, the toe-curling combination of their mouths wreaking havoc on her bottom making her see starts through her eyelids

- Not good - The spank she receives is uncalled for, an open-palmed hit on her ass that has her screaming at the top of her lungs, her entire bottom half locking taut as if expecting more, the slurping sounds of Mikasa filling the room and making her realize a single spank was enough to make her come - This won’t do -

She can’t bother to make sense of what was going on, her mind barely registering his words and instead focusing on trying to handle the overload of sensations and the overstimulation they forced on her, enduring as much of their abuse as she could before she is crying for mercy, fighting for a battle that she already lost

Because she would be deluding herself if she said that she wasn’t enjoying this, being the sole focus of their attention, worshiped as a divine being that flatters them just by her mere presence

A divine being that has been profaned by their tarnished, blasphemous souls.

- Mmgh! - She muffles against the pillow yet again, an increase in their tempo that almost felt like they were demanding her attention, little moans coming out of her the more their wicked synchronization took a toll on her body, her thighs quivering hard and her mind a foggy mess that she is sure it's going to shutdown at any moment

- Whaa…- She drags her words as she tries to speak, mouth shifting every so often between voicing her content in the loudest cries of want and gasping for air like a madwoman in her deathbed, the sudden introduction of Mikasa’s digits rubbing and pinching her clit throwing her to the very edge, and Eren’s tongue parting her behind sealing the deal for her

For she has already given up, she can’t no more, their wicked duo proving to be too much for her to handle alone, her sight quickly blurring despite her effort to keep her last stand and her thighs shaking uncontrollably for one last time before everything comes loose, the sudden spike on her upper walls destroying the knot on her insides for good, adorning the mattress with yet another dark spot as she can do nothing to prevent herself from coming undone right in front of their eyes, the halt in their ministrations and their exaggerated reactions letting her know she is flooding like a broken faucet

Shadows overcome her vision as the smallest trace of strenght escapes from her body, the sensation of a hundred hands handling her form as a minor inconvenience, a million lips coating her whole, congratulating and cherishing her for making it this far, to please worry not anymore, for they will handle thing now onwards

And that, honestly, it’s what she wanted the most.

[hpdfag]

oh my god HII!! i’m back from my break and i’d say i’m actually feeling much better :) how have you been??

thank you for sending something! i promise that you don’t even need to but i was really happy you did even then, it just feels so nice that you put some time into it :} also SEVEN HOUR SHIFTS??? what the fuck are they doing to these poor seventeen sixteen year olds at mcdonald’s oh my god. i’m sure it’s incredibly exhausting?? i mean i don’t know how i’d go through that! but i also feel like the idea of getting “adult money” is quite nice knowing most of our lives even 50 was a lot from our parents, so there’s that. make sure to take breaks to balance that because it looks EXHAUSTING?? And with school even then…at least this year will be shorter for you from what you said i mean!! So good luck managing those hours and school. I won’t lie i’m a bit proud? i hope this doesn’t sound condescending but i just feel happy that you’re doing this step and like…growing up. It’s just something incredibly difficult and complex in my eyes and seeing someone i care about actually do it makes me feel pretty happy with all honesty! I hope you understand what i mean :} i might write another message talking about what else you’ve wrote to me that i couldn’t answer earlier! but for now, i hope you’re doing fine even with the seven hour shifts :}

- 🧶

HIHIHI WELCOME BACK its so good to see you again!!! ive been doing alright, trying to manage work and life and school all at the same time is suck a nightmare v_v;; ive ended up kinda neglecting this account which is so sad cuz my feelings havent changed that much!! im just so tired all tha time ...

and of course of course !! id feel bad not leaving something, especially since i had you on my mind! it just made sense to say something, even if it wasnt a lot haha

and YEAG. YEAHHHGGGG. theyve been fuckinf BRUTAL, ive luckily(?) been out sick the past couple of days since i ran out of my antidepressant and your body does not appreciate going cold turkey on an SSRI at all LMAOAOOAOA ... now im just waiting for the manager to get back to me about my schedule for this week since im feeling msrginally better, i could probably finish a shift in my current state with a lot of caffeine, a zofran, and some ibuprofen LOLOL

and it definitely is nice!! most of the money im making im going to be putting in a savings account for college, since my student aid situation is a lot more confusing than i was expecting it to be .. im not entirely sure how our income is going to be calculated? since we get survivorship benefits after my father passed away, and because of the way that program distributes the money, different government programs count it differently, either taking all the money as a whole and counting it as my mom's income or cutting it up into three chunks and counting it as income for each member of my family.

its all so confusing and means i cant reasonably expect to get much help from the fafsa alone, so i need to save up my own money and start applying for scholarships ASAP!! i could go to community college for the first two years, and im even already accepted at the one nearby, but i'd much rather go to the same school for my full bachelors even if it'll be more expensive.. but who knows!! we'll find out eventually.

and don't worry it doesnt sound condescending at all! im really glad you are, ive been changing so much lately and i always worry that it'll alienate the people i care about, especially everyone ive met thru here </3 and it really means a lot to know you're proud of us !!

[msfbgraves]

What did you think about the 6 trailer? I was totally and hugely disappointed.

Kreese’s arc is so cringe and stupid, his story was over in the season 3 finale. I especially hate how everyone is apparently buddy-buddy (Sam and Tory pullowfight?? Robby and Miggy beat buds??) and also Daniel and Johnny at odds YET AGAIN. I am so tired of their snippy “friendship”; the writers really have run out of ideas for them.

I’m also just dead sick of alcoholic, deadbeat, never wrong Johnny, he hasn’t been interesting and hasn’t developed since the beginning of season 3. And now he’s got a baby too! What about your biological son???

Also: where is best character Terry??? Chozen should be back in Okinawa wooing Kumiko but he’s in Cali with cutiepie Daniel san. Again! And Mike Barnes…did his wife forgive him? Did he get his life back?? Talk about dragging everyone into the mix. The season looks bad.

I’m so sorry Danny boy, you deserved much better!

I'm going to repeat what I've said before, Nonnie, and that is turn your brain off and enjoy Daniel and Johnny get karate married. I'm glad that Ralph, Billy and Marty did well out of it financially - they've shouldered this legacy for so long, they deserve it. Other than that... I hate the mystification of Miyagi. He was a kind fisherman turned handyman who was also a war hero sergeant and a surrogate father to a lost boy. That is enough. He doesn't need to be more. For the rest of it: the writers have fallen into the first pitfall of fanfic. Ooc ness. You can't treat characters as if prior characterisation doesn't matter. They're not yours. Johnny Lawrence isn't working class because you feel that's more sympathetic. He's the King of the country club! Daniel LaRusso isn't closed minded, I'm sorry if that upsets you. The Karate Kid was remarkably non-sexist for its time. Aly's friends were well enough drawn to stand up to Daniel, let alone Aly herself. Cobra Kai's treatment of its female characters makes no sense. Its refusal to let Johnny take any responsibility towards the son he abandoned... while cheering him having another baby (because HUR HUR, real men impregnate), is atrocious. That man, as written, is an a grade loser. He even abandons his business to Kreese. It doesn't matter that Billy Zabka is a better athlete than Ralph Macchio. All of these men, even Terry and Chozen, act as if they have no responsibilities. It's supposed to be a cool male fantasy but at its core, the way the writers glorify Johnny's immaturity is pathetic. I was promised the story of a man who never took responsibility, screwed up his whole life because of it, and now, late in life, through passion and love really tried to get his life together. The drinking and the random fighting not aspirational, but signs of someone in trouble. Him being enough of a free spirit that he can unstuck Daniel, who has become too set in his ways, and Daniel, through Robby, teaching Johnny what it means to be a father and an adult. By the end of S2 nobody should have been teaching karate in the Valley. I thought that it would have been about that. Whatever does Johnny even do for money? Mooch off of Carmen? Do any of these students pay? It's escapism but it's also ridiculous. I would have loved to cheer Johnny from deadbeat boy to adult man but we didn't get that. He's not grown at all! He still drinks, he still fights, he still neglects his son and he's sabotaged the relationship between Daniel and Robby. When Daniel needed help against Terry, Johnny wouldn't listen to him. It took Daniel nearly getting murdered and their great plan? Breaking and entering and massive vandalism. How is only Terry in jail? It's men playing at being boys and making taking responsibility into something unmanly. Do Carmen and Amanda get to play? No. Women take responsibility, not men. Men should be allowed to stay children forever on account of their somewhat larger genetic ability to cause internal bleeding. OK boomers!

[nerdyfan1]

Why I love Tie Dye Blossoms

Found it so funny how I’ve here for and I never explained my Gumball otp. Especially considering it’s such a niche one too and like never see it anywhere besides one dude on TikTok :,)

I’ve been way too ship negative lately so fuck it talking about a ship I actually like.

To start out I feel like it important to establish both of these characters and their personal issues cus it the basis of how this came to me.

Tobias

Ok first of all I think we can all admit Tobias kind of a mess right? Like his life sounds really complicated and he doesn’t have the best support group. With very few exceptions the other kids to hate him or not really make an attempt to talk on a level he can understand. Meanwhile he lives in a home with a very neglectful family.

His mom encourages really bad behavior in him, his dad and mom seem to be in an unloving marriage where his dad will when given the opportunity will ditch her (can’t imagine Harold treating Tobias any better), he grew attention seeking from constant neglect from them both and his sister is basically a non presence.

Not to mention The Point as an episode is kind of telling. The most obvious being how many of these chore Darwin and Gumball were doing. Keep in mind these chores were given to Tobias by his parents he just telling the brothers to do it so he continue play the computer game.

He’s also very sensitive and masking really hard. Like really hard. To the it’s pretty obvious. The mask has dropped a little and we have seen that emotional before in the show. The best example from the series I think is season 3’s The Move. Sure it’s a joke but, also it’s good to notice how quick he was to start crying over something that normally seems so minuscule. Tobias even tries to change the subject after realizing he’s so clearly crying then runs away afterwards.

This especially is very important to acknowledge. Tobias lacks confidence and is very sensitive however is hiding it all from other ppl. Idk exactly what is causing him to do that but, making an estimated guess it’s probably something he developed from living with dad for so long. His dad is very sexist and probably the type to shame Tobias for his emotional and sensitive side. Tobias may not agree with his dad but, Tobias probably got this one ideal shoved down his throat by Harold.

Something that is easier to believe when you take into account the other kids weren’t already that nice to Tobias. He probably felt pressured into hiding his true self for a long time.

Long spiel I know but, important to establish all the personal issues Tobias as a character has.

Leslie

Ok now let’s establish Leslie’s character. Which seems funny cause on surface level they seem pretty well put together. Honestly I will one day make an entire post about Leslie on his own cus I feel like there so much to talk about her. However for the sake of this post I just gonna talk about one specific thing I find important. The self image issues.

Going back to The Petals I realized Leslie seems to put a lot of his self worth into how other ppl see him and how pretty he is. There so many lines in it before the brothers try to go through the gardening book where he mops about this. He’s technically handling it better but, that’s because he’s hiding his own insecurities from himself. Not willing to address literally any of them.

As soon as he starts looking ugly he goes to the dressing room and cries about it. Apparently for weeks.

So Leslie needs a guy who likes him for who he is past the looks because he saw something in him past it all to help him.

Ok now let’s talk about them together

This is such an easy ship to set this up well to. Tobias finally tries to start asking guys out. Mostly cus he started getting desperate. Look there only so long Tobias can keep going for the same girls in his class. After a while he was gonna realize those kids don’t like him in that way. He goes for a few different guys and gets shut down. Eventually Tobias’ starts getting so desperate that he goes for the guy he’d never had a chance with in his eyes. He starts to flirt with Leslie.

Cus of Leslie’s naturally curious and sassy personality he’s the first person to flirt back. And finally starting to feel validated. They slowly grow close after this doing this little routine together. They then start actually dating Tobias actually likes him. Tobias finally was given a chance. Leslie found someone who likes him past his appearance.

Now Leslie has someone who starts to show him to value his thoughts. Tobias sees how happier Leslie is just being himself even if not everyone likes that. And he can finally put an environment where his mask can actually drop all together. They benefit from each other mutually.

Idk I like this idea so much I think they contrast enough to work dynamically yet sharing similar personal struggles to draw each other together. As a bonus they got a little jock x cheerleader thing going one there.

[starsonistlove]

My list of: The fanfics ever (fandom mix)

Not organised in any particular order.  

All on ao3  (shoves ff.net fics back into the closet).

Doing most of this by memory, sorry if I get anything wrong!(It got very late whilst I was making this so I probably missed a lot) Remember to check tags and chapter notes for content warnings. Enjoy!(pls rec me fics if you like these I need more)

Merlin

Next to You(It's the Rule) by LunaMyLove

A 5+1 fic                                                                                                Centred around the idea of Merlin being treated like the queen by everyone in Camelot, (and the rest of Albion). Lots of shenaniganry and laughs, generally pretty light hearted. 

Lot’s of laughs, I love these vibes.

Court Sorcerer Merlin, Lancelot lives, good Mordred, eventual Morgana redemption. 

Ships: Merthur, Gwencelot

Status: Complete

Interperspective by SnufflesThePig

Reaction fic!!!                                                                                                    Arthur, the knights(- Mordred), Hunith, Gaius, Gwen, Morgana and Merlin are trapped in a cave by magic to watch the show, + some extra original scenes. 

Author will never stop waxing poetic about Colin Morgan, and I will not ask them too.

Lancelot lives, eventual Morgana redemption, Magic reveal, Scar reveal, Arthur glasses, art.

Ships: Merthur, Morgwen

Status: Updated 19-08-22

Harry Potter

Time to take a chance by Bookworms75

Reaction fic!!                                                                                                    Set in GoF before the champions are chosen, the entirety of hogwarts (+extras) get the chance to read books from the future. 

Gotta love some incompetent adults, with a side of ✨feelings✨

Dursley abuse revealed, books affect the mc, parseltongue Harry, protective golden trio.

Ships: n/a

Status: Updated 05-02-21 

Minecraft

Tommyinnit 3 ends and 2 beginnings by 47bats

Another Reaction fic! (you seein a pattern yet?)                                           Most of the dsmp get pulled into a theatre by Drista a few weeks after Tommy’s death in the prison, to watch the server’s history through the youngest member’s eyes. 

Made me feel many emotions.

author is a Tommy apologist, suicidal Tommy, protective Ranboo, protective Puffy, protective fiancés, abusive Pogtopia!Wil, family!sbi, exile revealed, Jackmanifold apology 

Ships: n/a

Status: Autor took it down, anon account posted a copy. incomplete.

Ours poetica by zeeskeit

Highschool au                                                                                                Tommy is in high school, he is also, unbeknownst to his family, a poet in a slam poetry team

One of many fics that have succesfully made me cry

neglective!sbi, family!sbi, protective benchtrio, protective Puffy and Sam, big brother dream.

Ships: n/a

Status: Updated 02-09-22

A wilderness you kind of miss by Drhair76

IRL Magic Benchtrio!                                                                                        Real life setting with magic!! bench trio are the sun, earth and moon and they are soulmates.

This author has made me cry many times they are sooo talented.

Protective benchtrio, protective Wilbur, wind goddess, lovejoy!, inhuman!Ash lovejoy.

Ships: n/a

Status: Series; 9, incomplete

from ice to water by Drhair76 and plantform 

Winter Olympics! au                                                                                        Figure skater Tommy with a shitty coach gets adopted by a bunch of ice hockey players and some snowboarders, +his healing arc afterwards.

Made me sob, many times, I love every part of this au I could sing it’s praises forever they included so many characters, and all of them are amazing.

Protective pretty much everyone, healing arc, asthmatic Tommy

Ships: n/a

Status: Series; 11, incomplete

Human error by teeth_eater

Space/aliens au                                                                                              Tommy is a human in space and he ends up on the sbi ship and they +Tubbo become a family breaking all of the space laws. 

Really creative and sweet, with a side of angst. Also the details of all the alien species is so cool

Found family, eventual Ranboo, 5+1, space culture!!

Ships: n/a

Status: Series; 12, incomplete

My Hero Academia

Reconcile by whatagoodegg

Shigaraki and Midoriya! trapped together. I love this duo so much, they have so much potential, and them scheming and causing chaos is amazing.

VERY TIRED ERASERHEAD, ALSO VERY BAD AFO, Mido bending reality casually, ofa reveal(i think)

Ships: n/a

Status: Complete, sequel on the way.

Paint me in trust by dinomight

SOULMATES(NON ROMANTIC)                                                                      People who love you leave a coloured mark on your skin on first contact!! Starts off very sad, but ends very sweat. Overall adorable one-shot

Ships: n/a

Status: complete

Throw a chair through a window and call it a day by jaded_ghoster

PRINCIPLE ERASERHEAD WITH ASSISTANT IZUKU                                  I love this fic, it’s pure chaos the whole way through Nezu leaves for a week on business, Aizawa and Midoriya are left to rule the school as they see fit whilst he’s away.

Terrifying midoriya, notebooks galore, discrimination acknowledgment

Ships: n/a

Status: Complete, sequel in progress

Area cryptid upset no-one bothered to inform him of his tragic backstory by crimsonseekers

Amnesiac Dabi Possibly one of my fav fics of all time just for how unaware the lov is of the destruction they are causing, poor hawks is along for the ride and suffering for it. Dabi doesn’t know who he is, the lov is determined to figure it out.

HPSC exposed, unintentional vigilante lov, todoroki family chaos

 Ships: DabiHawks

Status: Complete

I am their emotional support dad and my demands are by Otaku6337

DADZAWA Literally just Aizawa getting his students therapy and the trauma support accommodations they need. Really short and sweet, with chaos vibes

DADZAWA ALERT

Ships: n/a

Status: Complete

Izuku's project by redanick

Endeavor gets rekt, statistics style Izuku get’s very sleep deprived and puts together a monster document of all the reasons endeawhore is a bitch without exposing the abuse and then ruins this man. I live for endeavor getting rekt by protective mido.

everyone is scared of the bush and RIGHTFULLY SO

Ships: n/a

Status: Complete

Lifeline by SilvermistAnimeLover

Kidzuku kidnapped 12yo Mido gets kidnapped but they miss his phone so he stays on call with Detective Tsukauchi, Eraserhead and Mic the whole time, til they rescue him.

Smart mido, kind of inventor midoriya, protective adults 

Ships: Erasermic

Status: Complete

Paper Agency by The Feels Whale (miscellea)

Never went to UA Midoriya+ Hero course graduate Shinsou Shindeku, quirkless Midoriya and parental erasermic. 

Need I say more?

Ships: Shindeku, EraserMic

Status: Complete

Apex predator by  silver jackdaw (cizzi)

SUPER GENIUS MIDO So much happens in this fic it’s hard to describe. Early shindeku friendship, Endeavor/Mineta/HPSC/Aldera exposed, Bakugo redemption, big brother Touya Todoroki, adoptive dad all might, kind of nice Sir Nighteye, deku/momo friendship, lov redemption /rehabilitation.

Ships: DabiHawks, Miruko/Fuyumi, TodoDeku, Tsuchako, Erasermic, Rei/Compress

Status: Updated 03-01-21

The Magicians

take the pieces and build them skywards by alasse

Hedge witches Q and Julia Q gets memory wiped but Julia reminds him of magic and the open their own hedge coven together.

Ships: Queliot

Status: Complete

The Umbrella Academy

Where the lonely make the lonely feel less lonely by grumpyhedgehogs

Pre canon fix-it Viktor becomes a local super hero through the power of empathy and reconnects with all their siblings years before the apocalypse.

apocolypse prevented, shitty sir hargreeves, early power reveal, eventual 5, siblings living together 

PRE VIKTOR’S TRANSITION 

Ships: n/a

Status: Complete

Make me your bomb by Uniasus

Post season 3 Viktor is forcefully given his powers back by the creator of the universe in the hargreeves universe for the purpose of causing the apocalypse.

Universal reset, Allison bashing, Hargreeves sibling shenaniganry 

Ships: Klave, Sloane/Luther, Liego, Viktor/Sissy

Status: Complete

Tethered mind free from the lies by meliebee

Deaf!Viktor Time travel prevents the season 1 apocalypse, Viktor goes deaf and starts their life over in a new apartment away from their siblings. 

Viktor’s healing arc, eventually Klaus’ as well, consequences being dealt with, eventual communication.

PRE VIKTOR’S TRANSITION

Ships: Viktor/fem!oc

Status: Complete

Might add more to this as I remember things (lemme know if I need to change the tags, or if I’ve made a horrible mistake somewher)

[fjadwrites]

Blogging Plans And Reading Just One Book

Good morning!

This is actually a blog entry at past 8 AM here in 🇵🇭 since... sleep keeps winning. Urgh! Of course, there is a reason. I really couldn't sleep last night and I ended up sleeping at past 1 in the morning. It's a good thing that it's weekend. I don't have to wake up early to help my sister prepare for work. Maybe that's why I ended up sleeping that late. I just know I don't have to wake up way too early. 😁✌️

One more day before I reach my second week of daily reading. What do you know? I made it! Well, I did fail at reading as soon as I wake up. Sleep always wins on me. So the challenge that I chose to keep up was to reach my reading goal and write about it the next day to give updates. And so far, I was able to do both. Maybe I should do a weekly recap blog entry? Or not. I mean, I've been writing my daily thoughts about what I've read here on my blog. So doing that would only feel repetitive. But I seriously think I should write something different each week that may or may not have something to do with reading. As a way to make this blog a little diverse, in my opinion.

I do have topics that I want to write about. They've been pending for who knows how long already. And now I recalled that I have a Ko-fi account that I've neglected in so long. Like, what the heck? I never realized that I've neglected so many account in the last two years. I also neglected my hobbies in that time period, as well. What kind of person am I? I can't help feeling that I'm so lost in what I really want to do in life.

Thankfully, something sort of "snapped" in me and forced me to finally start doing this. Now I don't have any reason to neglect my blog again. And maybe my "special" weekly blog entry would help me start navigating my Ko-fi account in some way. Of course, that entry would still be free to read in the meantime. Or as long as I can make it. Wait... why does that sound a little greedy on my part? Hopefully not.

Anyway, with me writing things like this instead of filming like other booktubers do, consider this as my own way of vlogging or documenting my reading journey. Yes, it can be boring. As much as I want to film videos about this, it doesn't really sit well with me, you know. I have to do a different way to express my thoughts about what I read for the day, and so I chose to write them down instead. And I know, I feel comfortable doing this and I wouldn't be too stressed about editing and filming and most of all, storage space. 😂😂

I only read one book yesterday even while I keep finding more to read. Yes, I did a digital e-book haul once again and I'm seriously putting such stress in myself again. I'm so sorry. Of course, I reached my daily quota yesterday, which was 27 pages. Now, I'm 53% done with the second volume. I was able to read 92 pages yesterday and I just realized that the first two volumes of this series encompassed the 12 episodes of the first season of the anime version. Who knows? Maybe I'd be able to finish reading the rest of the second volume if daily life activities wouldn't get in the way. My first sister (the one born after me) and her son (my nephew) were here since yesterday so I have a feeling that things would still be busy just until they go back later this afternoon.

I have to use the generator for, like, three times because I kept getting lower numbers. One time was 17 and the second one was 18. Like, seriously? And when I chose for the third time, I got this. The reason why I have to do this 3 times was because I've already reached my 18 pages while I was reading the fifth volume of the light novel "The Most Heretical Last Boss Queen" at past midnight. Crazy of me, I know. But I couldn't sleep, that's why. So now, I needed additional numbers to aim. Today, I have to read 53 pages and I've already read my 18 pages. So that's... 35 more pages for me to read. Not bad at all.

By the way, should I try changing the numbers of the range for my number generator? Still not going to pass 70 as the maximum. But maybe I should do something with the minimum number. Should I use 20 as my minimum pages to read? I think I should do that tomorrow.

I have a lot of things to consider doing here on my blog. But do you know what I kept on saying when things would start to become overwhelming for me? Take it one step at a time. And that's what I have to do now that I have plans on my other neglected accounts.

For now, that's all I have. See you tomorrow! Happy reading. 😊💕✌️📚📖

[no-ctrl]

My period is approaching and I’ve been in a funk of self sabotage. A few updates: today I had an exam for my accounting class and got a B, I may potentially get laid off, my finances are looking a bit better despite my pay cut (take u fafsa), and… I’ve been missing Israel. No we aren’t shocked. I’ll elaborate on why I think I may be getting laid off. My coworker got laid off last week and she has a higher risk job which led both her and I to believe I will be on the chopping block next. I’m not too sure if it’ll happen since I have a feeling my employer won’t want to pay the unemployment but I guess we will have to wait to see what comes next. Overall I’m upset because no one likes to get laid off but I am a bit excited since 1) I hate the job/environment, 2) I had the intention of leaving this job behind in 2024, 3) I have quite a few jobs I’m highly interested in applying for which provide benefits and other opportunities. I’ve been feeling lacking of motivation and discipline. Not sure what is going on, potentially it’s just me being burnt out but I hope I can snap out of it. I know I can do whatever I set my mind to but my lack in discipline is creating a great disservice to myself. I have no been content with myself, I’ve been feeling ugly, feeling like I have neglected myself. I need to work on balance because when I have an unbalance in my life that’s when there tends to be issues. Right now I want to start going back to the gym, pursuing hobbies, overall just be the best me possible. Lately I’ve just been into bed rotting and staying in which I’m trying to break out of.

As for missing Israel… I can’t tell is this just routine or a genuine longing for him. When I talk about it with friends and speak from the heart I find myself saying things like “I’m lonely but I don’t want just anyone, I want him.” Maybe it’s the comfort of my past with him. It’s tough to navigate these feelings. If I wasn’t so prideful I would have just reached out to him by now but that is not the case. I wish we could catch up. I would love to update him on my life and hear about his life. I tend to think about the possible scenarios between him and I when I do something out of my norm. Such as getting a new job at my school, returning back to school, going a day trip to Vegas with my friends. It’s experiences like these that I wish I could share with him. Whenever I am happy I wish I could be happy with him. I’m not going to put any words in his mouth but I can’t help but feel like he didn’t want that with me bc he made the decision to leave me. In moments like now when my self esteem is on the ground, I almost feel like I deserved getting walked out on. In midst of the self loathe I feel like I deserve the bad things he put me through. I can’t explain why it’s just a toxic spiral I fall into when I don’t feel too great about the person I am. It’s truly tough trying to move forward. There is a small deeply rooted belief/hope I have that he still loves me and will return one day but unfortunately that is not reality. It’s a tough pill to swallow and I just want security in a partner. I’m not boy obsessed but it’s actually about just wanting to build a community/family for myself where I can be myself without a facade. There was a point where Israel was that for me but that is the past not my present.

[theepisceswriter]

Sending nudes/sexting w/ JJK characters (Nanami, Toji, Gojo, Mei Mei)

Synopsis: Do y’all need one fr? I think the title is self explanatory

TW: mature things obviously, GN!reader, typos like always, nothing outside or masturbation and nudes really, 18+, MINORS DNI!

NANAMI

Yeah, yeah you miss Nanami’s cuddles, kisses, hugs, and all that soft shit when you spend the whole day without him because of his work schedule, but you also miss that long schlong that’s attached to him. Work has given him such a hectic schedule that sometimes you go a week without having any sex and it drives you crazy and Nanami might not show it, but it drives him crazy as hell too. He’s just praying for an off day so he can get that sweet release from you that he needs.

Though sexting is not the same as physical sex, any form of sexual attention from him is needed. So, bravely one day you decided to send him a picture of you in nothing but one of his button ups barely covering your body while he’s at work. To be fair, you did wait until a time when you knew he usually wasn’t busy and the office was nearly empty.

When I tell you this photo has him blushing like a school girl and horny immediately; he forgets how to breathe for a good two minutes and it takes the sound of someone’s footsteps to bring him back to reality and remember the setting he was in. 

You see, sexting really isn’t Nanami’s cup of tea. He’s big on intimacy and physical touch and sexting hardly fulfills any of his desires. He’d much rather have you in front of him in person. You see those three little lines pop up thinking he’s going to describe to you in detail what he’s going to do to you once he gets off and how much he’s been feening for you too, but no! Instead, all you get is a text that reads “On my way.”

Nanami isn’t the type to call off of work or leave early, but it’s from that picture that he realizes how wanting you must be for him and he can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt, but also realize just how bad he’s been wanting you. The drive home for him is 30 minutes? He’s making it home in like 10, knuckles gripping the wheel and all as he thinks about rushing home to you and your body.

He doesn’t even greet you when he comes in the house. Immediately opting to connect his lips to yours to initiate the long night between you two that’s going to unfold.

“My poor baby. I’ve been so neglectful to you lately, haven’t I? I’m sorry, I’m going to make it up to you so good tonight. Lay back and let me take care of you tonight.” And take care of you is exactly what he does.

TOJI

You could text Toji for hours on end, tell him your house got burned down and you now live in Bikini Bottom with Sponge-bob, and he still wouldn’t budge. He doesn’t even have to be out doing a job, if he doesn’t see it as urgent urgent then he’s getting back to you in like 2-3 business days minimum.

Let you send him a text that’s like “Currently in bed thinking about you with my hand between my thighs because I haven’t seen you all day.” And all of a sudden his fingers are moving fast like lightening as he texts you back. 

Most likely going to respond with something like “I’ll show you mins if you show me yours” Because that man is a menace that should be locked up. You don’t even have to send one for real though because three minutes later your phone is pinging with a dick pic from him; two bottles resting on dick just to show how big it is because he’s a show off. Might even send you a video of him moving it without his hands in return for some soapy titty pics.

Nudes of you make him go absolutely feral and has him in the bed huffing and puffing as he uses his hands to recreate the feeling of you, but you would never know that because he responds with shit like “So sexy looking”

He’s kinda ass at sexting lowkey.

He’s not too big on dirty talk while sexting, pictures and videos say everything that he needs to, but guarantee that he brings it up once the two of you are finally able to meet up in person. “So you said you were going to do what now to me?” “Sre we going to do what we talked about in those messages or whatr?” Of course, he holds you to your word and the two of you indeed do what you said over text. 

GOJO

You already knew what the night was going to be like as soon as you got that “U up?” Text from Gojo. Not only was it almost 1 in the morning, but the two of you hadn’t seen each other physically in almost a month and you could just hear the desperation in his voice from when he had called you earlier talking about how much he missed you; him being in front of others being the only thing stopping him from going into great detail about what exactly he missed.

You didn’t even need to reply to him. The fact that you had read it was enough confirmation for him and minutes later you were getting sent a video with his dick as his thumbnail, just out and erect with his hand at the base of it and some lubricant covering it to make it look shiny and presentable.

“Fuck, y/n. You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about you bouncing up and down on my cock all month long. I need you so bad right now.” The sweet moans of your name leaving his mouth and the bucking of his hips into his hands once you pressed play on the video were enough to get you in the mood as well. Quickly you’re stripping your clothes off and sending him videos of you in all types of angles, but that’s not enough for him.

Next thing you know he’s facetiming you and the two of you are on the phone having a mutual masturbation session. The sight of each of you two getting off to each other getting off was enough to make both of you cum more than once. It takes him going completely soft and finally getting all that pent up sexual tension out of him to finally hang up.

MEI MEI

Someone get this woman an only fans account because the horny content she sends you should not be free. When I say this woman puts work into the videos and pictures she sends to you, I mean it.

I’m talking a ring light set up to make her angles look appeasing, special lingerie just for pictures to take to send to you, and a phone with amazing quality. She goes all out for you like a professional because she wants you to use them more than once, she wants to make some quality spank bank material for you so you wont even think about going on twitter again when you’re horny.

Tell me shouldn’t have a very popular OnlyFans. You can’t cause you’d be lying to yourself.

She’s such a big tease. She’d send you a picture of her titties all oiled up in a bikini that’s barely covering anything but her nipples along with a text message that’s like “They miss you );” .....While you’re at work because she’s just such a tease like that.

Glances inside of her underwear, boomerangs of her shaking her ass for you, and quick glimpses of her nipple; anything but giving you the real thing. Her whole objective with nudes is to make you want her more and show you what you’re missing out on by not being with her in the moment.

It’s not until you’re sending pictures and videos of yourself begging you to help her out that she finally does and it’s still not with pictures or videos in return ! Instead, she’ll text you through your orgasm in vivid description of what she wants to do to you and bring up past sexual experiences like, “Remember that time when we I picked you up from work and we couldn’t wait until we went home so we fucked right there in the backseat of the car?”

Big on helping you visualize things, so honestly you don’t even need her to go all out.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Vows - Addendum - Part I

Dear @eunoia4mind, I have written this one specific scene, but I've left this one rather open...

Please, if anyone reads this, reblog and tell me what you think reader should do!

Vows : Part I ¦ Part 2 ¦ Part 3

Words: 850

Warnings: Sadness

As beautiful as the words exchanged in a moment of relief and unspoken emotion had been, reality turned out to be much harder than you had expected.

Every time your husband left your chambers to deal with the things that were – undeniably and inevitably – part of his duties as the king’s son, you couldn’t help your heart from sinking into your toes.

Moreover, you couldn’t prevent the helpless, unvoluntary surge of distrust and resentment within your heart; he had sworn that he cared for you, but you could barely notice any real difference other than the frequent smiles he gave you now.

Maybe, your relationship had not been as bad as you had originally thought it to be as there was so little change in your husband’s behaviour; he still did all the things he had done for you before, only now, he did them with a smile.

He would sit with you, walk beside you, listen to you speak about the people you’d met and the actions you had taken during your days; he would smile when hearing you talk with impatience and fondness of his father and his antics, and he would breathe coy kisses into your hair as soon as you fell silent again.

Also, he had started to share the accounts of his days in the sun with you, eager to describe the colour of the leaves and the smell of the earth; you loved truly loved listening to him, but it still felt like looking through a window upon a life in which you had no place.

Most nights, he even came to your shared rooms, but you knew that he barely slept in the confined, foreign space; it was a show of his good faith and honest effort, so why did it make you so sad?

“My love,” Legolas called you back to the earthly realm when you stared out of the window during dinner instead of replying to his well-meant questions about nothing in particular.

This was not working, you thought desperately while a wave of numbing panic paralysed your limbs; you had sworn so many things and yet, you still felt like Legolas and you were but puppets thrown about on strings that were invisible to you.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, forcing yourself to meet his soft gaze.

“You seem distracted,” he whispered – sadness weaving like a silver thread through the fine silken tapestry of his voice – and you felt awful for making him feel as neglected and unloved as you once had.

“I love you!”

The words were so simple, so pure, so naked sitting on the white tablecloth like birds having fallen out of their nest; there were waves of emotions making his eyes ripple like the surface of a lake after one had dropped a stone into it, and you were fascinated by the myriad colours that shimmered in his gaze.

And yet, you could not answer him; all the words you had buried within yourself for long years had fossilised into a hard lump that weighed heavily on your heart without ever shifting.

“Do you hear me?” Legolas asked, “I love you. Why don’t you answer me?”

Your lips parted but the toneless sigh of grief unspoken sounded nothing like actual words and it held the fragrance of the dust that had settled on your soul.

“Speak to me,” Legolas begged, discarding his napkin, and coming around the table to take your hands into his, “tell me what I can do to make this right. Is it too late? Are you teaching me – oh love of loves – what time means?”

All his life – an endless desert of starlight and sunbeams – he had naïvely believed that time was a ghost that only ever haunted other races; to feel it running through his fingers now was akin to trying to find a single drop of water in an ocean or a specific leaf in a forest.

If only he had known what he stood to lose when he walked – careless and confident – in the shadows of the trees and along the endless sea; if he had been aware then, he might have caught and treasured this one moment when he had lost your respect, your confidence, and your heart.

Had he trampled your love underfoot and now it would never blossom again?

“I…” you started, but words would still not come to you.

Silently, you got up and stared at the stars in the sky that were so much like your husband – beautiful and unreachable – and your heart grew heavy with a sorrow as old as time.

“I love you,” he repeated, desperately, violently, tempestuously now and still, you couldn’t bear to face him.

“I do!” His hand – warm and solid – came to rest upon your shoulder, the tension in his fingers conveying all the want he could not wrap into words and the silence singing of domains and dreams forever lost.

Not enough, you thought with a hint of bitterness that poisoned the well of your affection, and much too late.

So, if you think that reader should leave and give up, let me know :D

And if you think that they should try to make it work with their husband, just drop a few hearts 💕

@eunoia4mind I hope you liked this and I did your vision justice :)

[rjalker]

Word count so far: 35K

Complete. There will be a one-shot sequel.

You can leave anonymous comments/reviews on fanfiction.net if you don't have an account/are too shy.

You can also read the fic in Google Docs here.

You can feel free to download the document at any time to read off-line or save for later. You could even print it out if you wanted to (though it's over 90 pages even in size 12 font, so...make sure you have paper ready). The doc also includes the art I've drawn for this.

If you use Google Doc's download option to save it as an epub, you can transfer it to a phone and read it on any ebook app, though making it an epub does remove italics. I recommend the "ReadEra" app for android, it's really easy to use and free without any ads. I'm not sure what free ebook apps are available for iphones, sorry.

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Quick summary for chapter 1:

Adrien decides to adopt a feral cat, and this goes about as well as you'd expect. Character development ensues, with Adrien learning more about what it really means to take on the responsibility of owning a pet, and starts him on the path to learning how to treat other people better too.

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Summary for the rest of the fic:

It started with Adrien Agreste adopting a random cat off the street. This leads to Adrien getting in contact with a vet, to make sure the cat's in good health. And this leads to Adrien learning about words like "trans" and "nonbinary" and "otherkin", and the idea that you don't have to be a boy just because your parents decided you were one when you were born. You don't even have to be human. Ne doesn't have to be the "perfect son". Ne doesn't even have to be a son at all. Ne can just be...rixelf. Adrien Agreste is no more, now riv name is Pandora. And, overjoyed with riv new identity, Pandora decides that ne's going to tell everyone who will listen, starting with the cleaning staff. And then ne learns that riv father's cruelty extends beyond the confines of Agreste mansion, and blankets the city. Hawkmoth isn't the only villain in Paris, Gabriel Agreste and Mayor Bourgeois are in league, exploiting the labor of the working class in order to fill their own pockets, then taking what little they do pay the workers right back in the form of rent, bills, and late fees. Pandora is horrified to learn where riv allowance has been coming from riv entire life, and vows that ne's going to stop it. Ne needs to tell Ladybug what ne's just learned! But no sooner does Pandora meet up with Ladybug to discuss the threat than another bombshell is dropped on top of rix, and then riv whole world is turned upside down, and nothing will ever be the same again.

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Warnings: Mentions of dead birds/mice in the first chapter, unsafe animal care/animal neglect that is corrected. Some villains and other antagonists/characters who are bad people die offscreen, including both Gabriel. Emilie dies offscreen, but the lead up to it is onscreen. There are also discussions of emotional child abuse, but it's not shown in the present.

If you've read it and think I should list out any other warnings, please let me know!

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The main character figures out ne's nonbinary and otherkin, and starts using neopronouns 100% of the time starting in chapter 3. Multiple other trans characters are in the story as well, though none of them take center stage, since the story follows the main character with an extremely limited perspective.

This is an alternate universe from the show, with changes mostly in the background, not actually affecting this story. The main difference is that in this universe, there's no attempted romance between the heroes, it's 100% platonic. Because misogyny is bad, and this means that Adrien at least starts out with some morals as opposed to none.

Here's a link to the original writing prompt, which became the first chapter of this fic.

If you read all the way through, please let me know what you think with an anonymous comment on ff.net! Are the neopronouns confusing? Does the explanation for them make sense? Did this fic help you understand how to use new pronouns? Let me know! I wrote this partly to help people learn how to use neopronouns, so I want to see whether that worked or not! :)