#i feel bad for anyone who's ever had to make up with the showrunners

[toorumlk]

Hey! Do you think there’s any chance they might not make Romione canon in the upcoming HBO series because of the popularity of other pairings and JKR’s somewhat recent statements concerning the ship?

fair warning this is gonna be a long post!

you know anon, i’m not gonna deny that the possibility of romione not being canon in the hbo series doesn’t keep me up at night HOWEVER COMMA-

I believe romione will be safe because i’m placing a lot, if not all, of my faith in the upcoming hbo series being repeatedly described as a "faithful" adaptation of the 7 novels. which we can deduce to mean romione friends to lovers slow burn endgame and all that good stuff (maybe i'll talk about the potential of book romione and the serial tv medium some other time)

and sure, it can all be marketing/pandering/etc. but i find it so hard to feel cynical about hbo because i love LOVE their shows and i'm of the belief that they know how to tell a good ass story (and romione happens to be a good ass romance subplot). i also have such positive feelings about the showrunner Frances Gardiner (consulting prod on succession and also has killing eve under her belt) who JKR chose herself and one of the exec producers of the show who's set to direct of a bunch of episodes Mark Mylod (succession, the menu, tlou, got)!!!! and if you know me at all you'll know that succession is one of the main pillars of my personality and i fucking love that show so bad I would follow anyone who was part of the making of that show off a cliff if they asked me to. and Mark Mylod is a fantastic fucking episodic director who's directed and produced some of the best episodes of television ever, so i know he knows how to tell a good story. and though i'm a lot less familiar with Gardiners' work, she is a female creative who has some of my personal favourite episodes listed in her imdb (chiantishire, living+, tailgate party) who's pitch of the show made joanne give her the job so.... and y'all know im a canon bootlicker and love the books so all i'll say is.. real recognizes real.

so knowing the creative team behind hp series had a direct hand in making my favourite show of all time gets me so excited and giddy!!!!

but here's where my personal theories and speculations start: I really think with this hbo series, JKR is on a mission is create something wholly and newly hers. she was barely involved creatively in the production of the movies until DH pt. 1 and 2 and the movies have almost become an entity of its own that's drifted so far away from her. of course i realize me even just talking sympathetically about JKR is deeply touchy and might piss some people off but as a fellow creative, i feel for her man!! when i think of the best books in the series in my opinion that are filled with the best bits of world building and political commentary, what i find is that GoF was handed to a director who didn't even read the book, OotP was the shortest movie in the franchise despite being the longest book and how it entirely missed the Quibbler plot and all of harry's rage, or HBP that was filled to the brim with *chefs kiss* tom/voldemort lore which was done a complete disservice in the grey and brown sludgy mess that is the HBP movie.

and knowing that JKR now has a strained relationship or had a falling out with most of the top dogs involved in the films like Kloves and Yates (hallelujah what who said that) and Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe means this show has the chance to be a behemoth that’s entirely joanne’s, like the books are. it’ll be free of Kloves' Hermione and harmony (harry x hermione) favouritism or Watson's take on Hermione's character that makes my ass itch or Yate’s complete inability to direct his actors and make non-action scenes have heart, soul and heft. but i also can’t not address the elephant in the room: this section of the discussion is filled with every shade of grey possible because what led to the falling outs was that they all vehemently disagreed with JKR's anti-trans views and good on them they absolutely should! but like.............. i hated kloves' writing and his butchering of ron's character, i think yates is a static and boring director and im not a fan of emma's acting so like... a win is a win? NO IT'S NOT. but IT IS. BUT IT'S SO NOT. but do you see what i'm getting at???

the point i'm trying to make is that joanne is not the same person she was when she was first writing the books or when the movies were being made. I think she's a lot more ruthless and cutthroat now and while i disagree with her methods and condemn her transphobia.... i think this newfound hardness to her will lend itself to making the hbo series the best HP adaptation it can be, I'M SORRY it's absolutely fucked and i acknowledge and abhor her gender critical politics as a queer woman but im also an artist who just wants good, high quality stories to be told 😔😩

and as for the other popular ships and JKR's somewhat recent comments about romione:

I think its safe to say that joanne dgaf about this fandom and what's popular in it anymore LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 i genuinely respect that she's always stood ten toes down about how draco's not some antihero, bad boy love interest and at best is a cautionary tale on prejudiced bullies, so I don't think that's changing anytime soon. especially considering that the dramione cottage industry that its fans have made is more or less a reactionary "fuck you" to joanne and canon which they do by writing fanfic about crimes against women and making merch and binding physical copies of said fanfics (really showing it to the big baddie transphobic DV survivor by *checks notes* auctioning hermione off as a sex slave) so I doubt she'd ever consider other ship's popularity seriously. as for the possibility of harry and hermione becoming endgame um..... if the show plans to faithfully adapt the books then we'd get harry and hermione’s quintessential sibling dynamic plus we’re already free from Kloves (also i have faith in francesca and mark knowing that harmony are just plain BORING) so i think the chances, again, are low. and if joanne really wants to stick it to her old colleagues, she can go down the route of pushing romione that much harder (and she really wouldn’t have to do much, it’s all in the books already) 😭

as for the comments on romione that she’s made in recent years, i think a lot of it’s been blown out of proportion or have gone through a terrible game of telephone. what she said (paraphrasing here) about ‘wishing she’d handled ron/hermione differently because a lot of what went into them was a wish fulfillment fantasy’ has turned into ‘jk rowling regrets making romione endgame???!!’ which is just *takes a drag from a cigarette* just another tuesday around here. i also would link to two meta posts by @saintsenara on the topic of endgame romione which i wholeheartedly agree with it

all i have to say is that going into making this show i hope joanne remembers that she based ron’s character off of a person in her life she liked when she was younger and who is still a good friend of hers now 😭😔

you guys probably know i’m in animation school which is basically film school in a different font. so i’m quite literally training to one day work in the story department on projects and work alongside writers, directors and producers, so this stuff means a lot to me! she and the creative team behind this upcoming show have the chance to make something really special and i’m finding it hard not to root for them!!!!!

[massiveharmonytiger]

Anyone ever think about the fact that Armand probably hated the hell out of Claudia for having what he never could.

Claudia gets rescued from death as an innocent. Armand gets rescued from death as someone whose innocence died the day those slavers captured and raped him.

Claudia gets Louis and Lestat's love and takes it for granted. Armand craves their love but gets their scorn.

After she is made a vampire, Claudia lives with two caring fathers only to pine for a mortal life she'll never have and run away from the situation when the cruelty of being a vampire gets to be too much for her.

Obviously this isn't how I see it. Claudia had every right to run away after how she was treated and seek out her own answers. And her child/fledglinghood definitely wasn't all sunshine and roses. Her aunt abused her, Lestat was extremely cruel to her after Charlie's death, the Loustat brawl, Lestat dropping Louis from the sky, Bruce's abuse - all of these were extremely traumatizing and hard to live through.

My point is that Armand could know all of this and still see Claudia's past as the rosy childhood he never had because his was just that fucked up.

Also, I think book Armand is enslaved around a similar age to when book Claudia is turned (I read it this way, although I'm struggling to confirm this, can anyone confirm?) and I can see him wondering why he couldn't have had the dark gift to protect him then. Why does Claudia get it? Why is she any more worthy than he is?

Where Claudia doesn't have to do a thing, Armand has to prove his cruel streak to earn the dark gift and after he is made a vampire, he lives with his groomer, Marius, who is set on fire and Armand is captured by a coven that teaches him to hate himself until Lestat steps in.

So yeah, why would he stop the coven from killing her when she's had everything he's ever wanted?

Side note because I've seen some really bad takes on the Marius/Armand relationship.

Yes, Armand was in love with Marius and Marius loved him too. Yes, Marius rescued Armand from the brothel. Yes, Marius was kinder than Armand's slavers and Armand enjoyed a lot of the sex stuff he did when he was living with Marius. Yes, pederasty was normalized during that time and Marius was just acting like any man in his position would.

AND

Marius was still a groomer and an abuser. Marius was still in a position of power pulling strings to get Armand to do what he wanted and throwing tantrums when things didn't go his way. Marius still got off on Armand worshipping him. Marius was still Armand's owner and his kindness was dependent on Armand doing what he said (like letting himself be donated when a friend came from out of town - some people will say Armand was lying about that, to which I say, fuck you).

The fact that Armand enjoyed sex, started fetishizing his own abuse and using his body as a tool of manipulation doesn't make him complicit, neither does the fact that Marius had redeeming qualities (beauty, kindness, wisdom) and Armand fell in love with him.

None of this makes what Armand went through any less traumatizing. He's 500 years old and we can still see him grapple with what happened in his childhood.

I have no idea how they're going to portray Marius/Armand's childhood in the show, but I feel that even just a fraction of this would make Armand's resentment of Claudia pretty real, and I really hope we get to see Armand confront this in later seasons even though I'm pretty sure a lot of it is unconscious and he may not even be fully aware that he feels this way.

Update: Okay, so the consensus seems to be that book Armand was 15 which is pretty close to show Claudia's age (which is 14) and I don't think this is accidental. I think the showrunners highlighted this on purpose because they know that when we're engaging with the show, we're engaging with the books as well. This actually helped me realize how Armand and Claudia were technically both "child vampires" in the books, but Claudia was the only one that was really treated that way because she was turned at 5. Armand was turned at 17, and teenagers are so sexualised (then and now) and have so many demands placed on them that people tend to forget that they're also just kids.

[rapunzellovesbooks]

I just wonder why all the blame is constantly put on Luke? Since June 13th I have constantly seen the narrative of Luke being the superficial asshole who only cares about having the typical hot girl on his arm and who rejected Nicola and hurt her. Has anyone stopped and thought that maybe Nic is the one who hasn't wanted anything with him? Bc idk maybe I'm crazy but all I have ever seen is Nicola friend zoning Luke and him clearly lusting over her. I'm sorry but I just can't see Luke as a villain he's done nothing wrong. And I can say with my full chest that man would NEVER do anything intentionally to hurt Nicola. Nic's behavior has not given rejected woman, she has had nothing but kind things to say about him since that tour ended.

And not only her, but like everyone he has ever met. From Jess, the showrunner, to old theatre mates of his, to so many of the cast members, on page, on film. Johnny Bailey would certainly not say he loves Luke on camera and even comment on his posts (when he himself is very little on SM) if Luke was the asshole some people paint him out to be. Hell, Luke still follows his exs sister and she said she texted him before interviewing Johnny for Wicked.

It is again, self-projection of the worst kind. If Antonia was not thinner than Nicola (nothing wrong with that), this discussion would not be happening in this way, but it would still be happening. The same happened with Jade, they found things to hate about her too. No one knows the timing of shit, for all we know Nicola dated someone while filming too or after or who knows.

The only consistent thing is that Nicola and Luke love each other and are very close and there is actual proof of that going back to season one.

What irks me the most is the assasination of character. People then started to look for reasons Luke was bad based on Antonia being bad. Now, I do not know this girl and I have never even looked at her SM. But people started saying she is a zionist, she worked for MAGA, etc. There is legit no proof of any of that or, at least, everyone keeps shouting about it but there is never any actual evidence, only MAYBE that her parents did dubious things (again, not her).

There is no way in HELL that Luke would even be associated with someone that awful and still have been this lovely person all along. People do not change that quickly and, specially not him. You still have months after that day, Nicola and JB and other cast members praising him and liking and commenting on his posts. He keeps loving Netflix UK posts and sometimes even interacting with them.

It bugs me so much that people paint this girl to be the devil incarnate to then throw it in Lukes face. Cause then you have to throw it in the rest of his friends and co workers faces as well. It is a snowball and it makes absolutely no sense cause it aint real.

You do not have to like Antonia´s dancing or whatever. But to make up that big of a lie to justify your hate... just say you do not like her and move on. Cause all you do is then paint a horrible false picture of Luke and THAT does affect his career.

And, yes, how do you know that Luke rejected her? Cause Nicola would never reject him? What if no one rejected anyone?

In my opinion, there are feelings there but never outspoken. And, you know, I do think they are endgame and things take time. But to coax them into them is insane. They find themselves cute, like with the edits of their friendship and bond, but people take it too far.

I also think they have never spoken about it and tbh I´d much rather them be unhinged besties forever than get together at the wrong time and then break up and not be able to work with each other anymore. I just want my dumb Polin ship captains back.

And at the SAG Awards, I do hope they make an entrance to remember together cause all these people spiraling is bc you think there is some diff vibe between them when there is zero evidence of that.

Anyway, rant over. Haters gonna hate no matter what, but if you are, do it with actual proven facts.

[azaharinflames]

Thankyou for making that post about not making assumptions about the cast. I wish fandom stopped parasocialling with them so much, it's so weird. Not only the Oliver stuff but that Lou is this poor little heartbroken uwu baby and how the whole cast were awful for not defending him (I've seen alot of "and no one stood up for him!!" posts too).

None of us know these people! What someone puts (or doesn't put) on their public instagram is worlds away from what they may (or may not) say or communicate in private.

And it's kind of depressing to assume the worst of them (any of the cast) rather than just that they're professionals doing their jobs.

Fandom in the last few days has been so much fun with the plot speculation, fics, memes and stuff. I find the criticism of the plots and the writing (and Tim to an extent in his role as showrunner) satisfying, but not to take that to the actors. For me, it's much more enjoyable (and better for my mental health) to have fun with our blorbos in our sandpit and keep the characters and actors separate.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Hi, Nonnie! Thank you for venting in my inbox!

Happy to let you vent, and sorry it took me this long to answer. I kinda promised myself I was going to have a small break from Tumblr this weekend after my last post, and only let myself reblog some. Back here again though!

Yeah, I think it's very important to draw a line and keep it there. If we need a permanent marker, so be it. I come from the Marvel and Glee fandom, and especially in the latter I saw a lot of wild shit. Including Darren Criss's wife having to go private across all social media because of the insane stuff she was unfairly accused of. Hell, when (spoiler) Blaine and Kurt broke up for a while, Darren had to post a goddamn letter to apologise, because he feared the worst. Like. Insane.

And I've been seeing the crazy here as well from the B*ddie fandom, and I stopped checking that hashtag (can't check it even for their friendship) because of how wild it was. We are nowhere near what they do, don't get me wrong. But just because of that, and because this has been, hands down, the nicest fandom I've ever been on, I don't want us crossing lines in a moment of anger or disappointment.

And it's hard to know when to say something, too, because I do feel like the feelings we were dealing with were entirely justified. But as you said, it's better if we keep focused on the show and the, frankly, bad writing they are doing this season.

And yeah, I'm annoyed at the behavior of some actors, but I understand your point. I won't lie and say I liked how no one said a thing about the harassment Lou received, but I also know better and I know it is quite possible they talked about it in real life, and it is very much none of our business.

At the end of the day, Lou has expressed multiple times he was very happy to be in the 911 set, and even in his latest interviews he doesn't contradict this. He's a grown man who deserved to see all the love that we have for him after endless months of harassments, yes. But I also think he's a grown man who knows what he's doing and what he wants.

Anyway. This was long, sorry haha.

If anyone wants to vent, rant, or express their opinions, my inbox is open❣️

[princelance]

a movie........

time for a rant that has been a looong time coming because

the FUCK??? NOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE NO NO NO PLEASE GOD IF YOU'RE OUT THERE NEVER LET THIS MOVIE SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY NEVER EVEN MENTION THAT SHOW EVER AGAIN IN MY PRESENCE it should fucking DIE and stay DEAD

the WORST fandom i've ever come across/been part of. everyone was so fucking braindead. god the bullying here was So Bad. vld fandom was the epitome of 'you can't enjoy what you like'. and the bullies were like, some of the most popular blogs here. the content creators (among others ofc) here were NASTY. the people making decent art were so fucking rude to almost anyone that didn't bow down to them and agree with their views on the show, sitting on their high horse like they were fucking gods or something when they were like, 17 or something. mind u voltron was a show about ugly transformers lions and a bunch of kids in space meant for 7 YEAR OLDS. like stfu it's not deep, it's not important. i get that this is the internet i really do but apparently everyone was a pedo and homophobic and racist and needed to be cancelled because they weren't pure angels. i hope the people who liked the show, both teens and adults alike, have grown up and learnt what those words actually mean and why you shouldn't just casually throw them around. i hated you all. u had to be so careful about what you said on here, it was like north korea or something. i remember how kids got bullied into deleting their harmless fanfics, the fucking voice actors got bullied on a daily basis, it was BAD. i remember i got hate for having shiro as my icon and the background was the bi flag colours. I AM BI. also, so what if i had headcanoned shiro as bi, you couldn't have stopped me or anyone else from thinking that, and also IT WOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED, HE'S FICTIONAL, HE'S JUST LINES AND PIXELS. i know this is going to shatter some of your worlds (or at least would have back then), but a random ass nobody on tumblr headcanoning a character as bi when said character is "actually" straight/gay/whatever is NOT going to affect irl queer people in any way, it does NOT have real life consequences. who gives a fuck. since when has the fandom given a shit about canon anyway? fuck you.

okay, i've been bitching about the fandom enough (no i haven't, there's no way you can ever bitch about the vld fandom enough). what about the actual show? well. once again it's meant for 7 year olds. who cares if it was good or not. i've seen seasons 1–6. i liked season 1, didn't really like anything after that since the show seemed to change so much. the first season kind of has a different vibe completely? idk how to explain it, it just kind of feels like the actual show and then the rest was just a long fanfic by someone who was in love with keith's character. but since i was watching the show with my sister who was 10 at the time, it was fine, otherwise i wouldn't have kept watching after seeing season 2 i don't think.

here are a few negative things about the show imo:

making keith the main character out of nowhere after s1 (where he definitely wasn't the main focus) was so dumb. god the showrunners loved keith sooo much, it was so stupid. keith was nooot a leader. whatever.

making keith the black paladin was also so fucking stupid my god. and yes, everyone here wanting LANCE to become the black paladin just because he was the fandom favourite (don't get me wrong, he was my fave too) was so fucking braindead too honestly. shiro or allura. no one else made any sense.

canon allurance SUUUCKED. like holy shit that was so bad and horribly written, even lotor and allura had a better love story and had waaay more chemistry (and their relationship ended badly, rightfully so). and NO klance was never ever ever going to be canon, you were so delusional. like lmaooo did we even watch the same show? i just really enjoyed their dynamic and that's why i shipped them together, whatever. but yeah, like i said the bullying here was disgusting and everyone was cancelled, great, klance seemed to be the only thing you were allowed to like so in that sense i was lucky.

everything they did with allura in the later seasons............ you know what? i'm not even going to start. because wtfffffffff, as a storyteller myself i ?????? what in the world were they thinking. but yeah whatever it does not matter.

the point of this post is that EW EW EWWWW FUCK THAT SHOW AND FUCK YOU, if you were in the voltron fandom in 2017/2018 i personally hate you

[chaifootsteps]

I don't think anyone making the 'it's wrong to argue the show abandoned its premise' argument has really engaged with what the problem here actually is

there's often this bad faith painting of everyone with the same brush that they're just complaining because they thought they were being promised one thing and got another and that's their only problem.

besides the fact it's not exactly wrong if you thought you were getting steak only to be disappointed when the show served up slurry instead, it's ignoring the bigger problem.

the premise of the show is supposed to drive the story and without that frame, a lot of stories lose focus. and hb is very much one of those stories. We have a story where the writers are increasingly disinterested in the emotional state of their own main character, and as far as the Stolas plotlines go...oh boy.

So Stella had moved out by Ozzie's yet we're now approaching ten episodes later and the divorce is still not finalized, who knows what's even going on with that at this point. Doubtless it will form the backbone of s3 if they make it because that and stol!tz are the only things the show has left going for it.

And that means the writers have to drag out both plotpoints as long as possible because nothing else matters at this point. If what they're going for now is drama and not comedy I would like to point out most prestige drama has multiple plotlines with its ensemble cast. HB has set up plenty of avenues for that and done nothing with most of them. They have no road that would feel natural to develop because they've left themselves no options.

Also - and it probably goes without saying but I'll say it anyway - 'will a character divorce his evil wife' and 'will that same character successfully bully his love interest into being his idea of the perfect partner' are not good driving questions for long form drama. We know Stolas is definitely going to leave Stella so there's little dramatic tension outside of her trying to get petty revenge, which is dumb since Stolas has the god powers to just body her if he wanted to. And the second one assumes the audience is invested in the will they won't they of Stol!tz - and given how unlikeable Stolas has become more fans are getting turned off from ever caring if they will (and the showrunners already spoiled the ending on that, so extra who cares?)

it's the exact same logic people use to dismiss anyone saying 'X character is badly written' when they snidely respond 'you're just sad your headcanon the show never said it was going to give didn't come true'. It's a neat little trick to avoid why critics hate how Stolas, Stella, Millie etc. are written (or underwritten)

Well said. But then, "bad faith painting" is nothing new to the crowd of people we're talking about. I think they actually know full well what the problem critics have is, but resorting to strawmen arguments is all they've got.

[twelvroses]

LIZ's DIARY - 16/07/24. mentioned: @dreamquest @fiixion @yunzip @pinkscaped ♡ (& ahin lol)

The latest episode of Dreamquest just aired; I’m writing this in my dorm. Have I even written about my dorm? I can’t remember the last time I actually had the time to sit down and write, I think it was just before the show started… I used to be so diligent about keeping this diary, but life has gotten so hectic. I’m sharing a room with Yoon and Miyu. Both of them seem nice, but it’s a little awkward. Since we were all on different teams, I don't know how to approach them them because I'm not sure if they see me as a friend or just someone they'll need to beat. I wish I was the type of person who could start a conversation with anyone, but I just don’t know how to keep it going. The words don’t come for me. I haven't really bonded with any of the other girls, and I can tell that some of the other girls think I’m a bitch, but everyone always thinks I’m a bitch and I can live with that. Sani is really nice, though, she's really really cute, and she was so nice to me after the Fancy performance, so I think it'd be fun to be on a team with her at some point. But it would be really nice if I could at least befriend my dormmates too. I mean, assuming none of us get eliminated, they’re gonna be the first and last people I see every time I wake up or go to bed. Don’t you think that kinda sets the tone for your entire day? Even if none of us make it, it still would be nice to have some friends. That reminds me, now that I’m at Valentine, I hope I get a chance to meet the Medusa girls soon. I’ve always really liked Choi Gain sunbaenim. She just comes out and says whatever she’s thinking, no matter who’s listening or how many cameras are on her. I’ve been trying to be like that, but like everything else I try to say, it dies in my throat. Maybe if I get to hang out with her, it’ll rub off on me a little bit. 

Anyway, I won't have chance of meeting Medusa if Valentine drop me, and they might do just that, cause the CEO already told me that he expects big things from me. He told me to keep my sights set on top 5, because this is the very first time Valentine has EVER sent a trainee to a debut show, and I’m their only trainee, so if I totally flop, it’ll be really embarrassing for them, and I feel like the whole place is built on one man's very flimsy ego so he'll probably just drop me. We got to see our rankings and right now, I’m at nine. It’s not too bad, and so I want to be proud of it, but I know it’s not good enough. It doesn’t feel fair. I didn’t get a single solo line in Genie! How the hell am I supposed to get screen time and convince people to vote for me if I’m not being given the same opportunity to sing as some of the others? I wonder if the showrunners think I can’t sing because I rap. 

I also hate my new CEO, Yoo Seobin. He walks around like a weirdo mafia boss. You know, Ahin sunbaenim told me that when they go out for company dinners, he makes him, Choi Gain and Kwon Harin sit at a separate table with him. It’s supposed to be a ‘leaders privilege,’ but he’s kind of just keeping them away from the party. He thinks he’s the godfather, or something. Like it's an honour to sit with him. If I end up in a Valentine group, I pray to god that I’m not the leader. I’d hate to sit and drink with him. Did you see his fucking press release about me? He talked about how I was hypnotizing and my beauty was unmatched or something… Like he’s a married, middle aged man. It's so weird and I'm really worried if he keeps talking about me like that, people will start making up rumours. Even the thought makes me want to throw up. I wore the baggiest clothes I own last time I had to go to his office, and he still kept looking at me weird. Ahin sunbaenim said I can wear one of his sweaters next time, because if he sees me in boy's clothes he might assume I have a boyfriend and back off. It’s kind of cute that he thinks that would work. 

But Ahin sunbaenim is nice. I’m even going to record a demo for him next week. It’s not gonna be for me in the end, I think he’s just gonna send it out to a bunch of labels and see who wants the song, but I’m getting paid for recording so it’s already the most legit gig than I’ve had in about five years. He’s fun to hang out with. I think he has a little bit of a crush on me, but for once that doesn’t bother me. I think it’s just refreshing to come across a guy, especially one who’s a bit older than I am, who isn’t so fucking leery and demanding. He doesn’t even flirt or anything, he just gets shy around me and it’s easy to make him blush. It’s funny. And he does have a nice smile.

I just realised I'm writing about boys in my diary so I'm going to stop now because I'm not twelve. Kwon Ahin is the last thing I need to be thinking about right now. What I need to do is win this competition. I really hope, like really really really hope that I can rap in the next round. Like a proper rap that wasn’t written by fucking JYP, I mean. I’m really regretting singing for my audition. My first choice was Payday by Yoon Mirae but Seobin told me I had to pick something recent. If I’d pulled off a Yoon Mirae song I think I might be way higher in the ranks by now. But if I don’t get to rap there’s no way I’m gonna crack the top five. And if I get kicked from Valentine, it’s like losing the biggest opportunity I’ve ever had. I feel like I might just be setting myself up for one big joke. I couldn’t even rise up the popularity rankings of Bouquet. Do you know how easy it is to be more popular than a Bouquet member? Most idols who debut achieve it on their first day without even knowing cause they probably don’t know who Bouquet are. Were. Also, FUCK OHJANG ENTERTAINMENT.

I owe more money than I’ve earned, my parents lost all enthusiasm for this path for me a long time ago… I can’t even remember what it felt like for them to take pride in me. Honestly I started writing this entry because I thought I was going to end it by affirming to myself that this would be a turning point and I’d ace it from here on out, but I kinda feel worse than when I started writing. I should go to bed. I have to get up early to get some practice in before official practice starts, and if the girls who ranked lower than me find out I’m whining and moping about ranking 9th, they’ll think I’m even more of a bitch than they already do.

Well, just wish me luck in the next round, I guess!

[infinitethree]

Aster gets the distinct impression that the Showrunner is upset at him.

That, or they just think that making him lose to Theo five times in less than an hour is the height of comedy.

He curses to himself, rubbing his throat– leave it to Theo to go for his neck so often– as he flops onto a nearby bench.

His best friend seems concerned. Given he���s come over to the training area in Summer Hills instead of working his anxiety out at the training hall, that’s a fair response.

“You’re kinda shit today,” Theo notes.

Instead of thinking about how he keeps seeing visions of what they’ll look like at some point– candy-sweet domestic bliss, the three of them obviously in love and enjoying every moment of it– he grumbles, “So sue me for being distracted.”

Theo shifts, his wings flicking anxiously. “...Trouble in fuckin’ paradise already?”

“What? No, we’re going on a date tonight. Everything is fine with us.”

Why the fuck would Theo assume things were bad with Daz?

He reminds his friend, “He didn’t see me cheating on him with you.” “You’re both being real fuckin’ cagey about it, so…I dunno, I feel like you’re both lying.”

Aster winces. “I mean…Daz is, uh. Needing…some time. To admit it. ‘Cause it’s– kind of a lot.”

“That’s so fuckin’ sus,” Theo groans, plopping onto the bench next to him. “The fuck does he have to be concerned about?”

More than Theo can ever fathom. “...Future might have changed,” he says, knowing Daz might get mad at him for admitting even that much.

Theo looks concerned. “D’you two not get–” “No, we– we do. It’s…” he chews on his lip.

This is such a dangerous path. The fuck can he even do to appease Daz, assuming he missteps?

“We’re– we still get married,” he finally settles on.

His friend’s head cocks to the side. “Then why the fuckin’ weirdchamp shit?”

It seems like Theo listens to the Fates, because he frowns. “Kid you two have still exists, right? I was kinda interested in being an uncle.”

Aster blinks, and he’s in another vision.

He boggles at the sight of not one, but three kids flinging themselves at future-Theo.

Two girls, one younger boy. The girls both have gorgeous bluejay-like wings, though the boy doesn’t.

Future-Theo scoops all three into his arms, beaming at them. “Kids!” “Dad, dad! Doctor Aryll said my wings are gonna come in soon!”

Visibly thrilled, Future-Theo asks, “Yeah? You ready to go flying with your old man, uncles, n’ grandpa?” “Yep! Grandpa keeps saying he can teach me if you don’t wanna, though.”

“Dad can fuck off, you’re my kids. I’m gonna teach you all myself,” Future-Theo grumbles.

Future-Daz teases, “You sulk every time he brings it up.” “He had his fuckin’ turn, n’ again– my kids,” Future-Theo complains.

The future version of Aster snorts, “And here we were, thinking you’d be less overprotective.” “Shut. Now, Boreas, did Aryll say about how much longer it’d be?”

And that’s all that Aster gets.

He stares into space, and then says, “Three?!”

“Huh?” “Three kids, with wings! Who the fuck even– I don’t even know anyone with bluejay wings, let alone a woman,” Aster groans, raking a hand through his hair.

Theo freezes. “You two have kids with fuckin’ bluejay wings?” “Apparently!” “That’s…”

His friend’s brow furrows. It’s like he’s trying to put the pieces together.

“...Aster, if I fuckin’ guess what you saw, you’d tell me if I’m right– right?”

…Fuck. If he guesses directly, it’d be kind of a dick move to say no.

He grimaces. “Uh…maybe. It– yeah. If it’s…close enough. Daz just– needs some time, so–”

Theo grabs his shoulders, making him jolt in surprise.

Hands gripping him tightly, Theo demands, “You two keep fuckin’ seeing me with you, don’t you? N’ that’s why you’re both being so fuckin’ weird about it.”

Damnit.

He averts his gaze. “Please don’t say anything to Daz. He’s– uh, he’s actually deeply insecure. I had to strongarm him into telling you after a week, so…”

A noise of distress escapes Theo, whose head thunks onto his shoulder.

Aster frowns. “Theo?”

“...Three kids, huh?” “...Yeah. I– it looks like you’re really happy to be their dad.” “Never fuckin’ pictured myself in a…marriage? We get married?”

“Seems like it. We all have earcuffs that look like wedding jewelry.” “Bet Dad’d love being a grandpa.”

Awkwardly, Aster pats his back. “He apparently kept offering-slash-threatening to teach them how to fly–” “Absolutely fuckin’ not, I’d teach my kids myself,” Theo snaps, sounding affronted.

“Which you got mad about.”

A grumble escapes Theo, who seems sullen.

After a moment, his best friend asks, “So…what if I’m– not really fuckin’...sure about that?” “As in?”

Theo pulls back, seeming uncharacteristically serious. “I dunno that I really want to get into a– relationship. Feels…weird. N’ with both of you…”

Aster resists the pang of hurt he feels. It’s not even like he seriously considered it before, so it doesn’t shock him that Theo is hesitant.

He shrugs. “I mean– things changed once, right? So…enough time and big enough ripples, they’ll probably change again.”

“N’ if you see something where you’re not with Daz?”

That feels impossible. “Then I’ll fight against that future. I’m pretty set on being with him now. Even if the details change, I want to be at his side. He’s complicated and deeply traumatized, but…I think I like the futures I’ve seen with him. I think I like seeing him so happy to be with me, too.”

With a snort, he adds, “And, uh, I’m kinda hooked on his cooking? It’s– it’s really nice, actually. I’m not really used to food being so…thought about. Or sharing it like that with someone else. He keeps threatening to make clothes for me, too, which is sweet.”

In this new future, Daz has a carved bangle that’s clearly from Aster. Given the disparity between the two timelines, maybe it’d be better to just…make something similar but different.

Enough to prove he’s not being lazy about it, and whatnot.

Daz would probably cry if he gave him something like that. The insecurity would ease, because he’d be proving that he’s not discarding Daz for Theo.

Assuming it ever happens, Aster would accept nothing less than all three of them being on equal footing in the relationship.

“He’s a good guy, though. Even if you decide not to be with us like that…he’d still end up basically your brother in law. You might as well get to know him better.”

Theo sighs deeply. “It’s…yeah, I fuckin’ guess. Just– weird. Didn’t think any of us would ever…”

A flash of annoyance shoots through Aster. “Apparently, people keep asking him out.”

“...Daz?”

Aster rolls his eyes. “According to him, he turns people down all the time. Something about being the primary support for refugees?”

Theo grimaces. “Ah…yeah, the hero worship shit. When you put it like that…yeah, I fuckin’ know what that's like. Kinda annoying, actually? N’ I guess he did mention he has to fuckin'-- turn people down a lot…”

Uhg, right. “True, you have a lot of experiences with people asking you out.” “Lots've ‘em in life-or-death situations, too! Weird as shit.”

His friend squints. “Wait, didn't you say he's stupid fuckin’ rich?” “I didn't know it was possible for anyone to have as much money as he does.” “N’ he's a good cook.” “Better than your dad, and I don't say that lightly.” “N’ powerful as fuck in a bunch've ways.”

…Goddamnit, he's starting to see Theo's angle. “Fuck, he's actually a crazy good catch. I mean, I knew he was– really great, but not everyone has seen what I have. So I just– I guess, subconsciously, I assumed nobody else has thought about it…?”

Theo snorts, but his amusement quickly turns serious. “Aster…man, you know you can't walk away, right? If you choose him, I mean. If Daz is so fuckin’ fragile he tried to kill himself over what you were seeing…? I don't wanna fuckin’ know how hard he'd snap if you left.”

Theo sounds genuinely concerned.

As much as Aster knows he's right to make sure the stakes are clear…it stings to think that Theo would assume he would abandon Daz.

“We're both loyal to the death. I've seen a softer side to him lately– a side I want to keep seeing. I'm not planning on leaving. I– I've seen what abandonment does to admins. To him.”

A cold sweat runs down his spine at the thought of how Daz tore himself in half to be good enough for his own family.

If Aster broke his heart, the best case scenario would be if Daz became his mortal enemy.

Worst case scenario…Daz would seek the ultimate refuge.

Even if that wasn't the case, he would shatter everything about himself to become whoever, whatever, Aster wanted.

Because Daz is lonely. Even in a sea of people, he feels isolated. He doesn't think the real him is worthy of love or kindness.

At the same time, he’s desperate for affection. He's starved himself of touch out of a misplaced fear it would hurt others.

Strangling his soul in exchange for love would be easy. He would pour himself into a mould so lovely that Aster would be smitten– lie until even Daz himself believed it.

He shudders. Even if he would never want that, Daz might think he needs to do it to earn love.

Theo’s hand grips his shoulder. “Aster? You okay, man?”

“Daz could break so easily. It scares me. I want him to be happy. I– I want us to be happy. I want…I'm kind of warming up to the idea of eventually being a dad.”

He sees himself, gently swaying and cradling young, fussy kid in his arms. “Shh, shh. It's just a nightmare, Hemera.”

“But, but, woke up, n’, everyone was, was gone–!”

A kiss is pressed to a mop of golden curls. “Aurora was just in the bathroom, and you know that Mama, Daddy and I are always right down the hall. Plus, all your uncles, your grandpa, Lucid, even San…there’s a whole server out there. The whole world would end before you'd be alone, sweetheart. And we love you too much to let that happen, hmm? We love you too much to leave you all alone.”

Future-Daz, who was watching from the doorway with the other little girl dozing in his arms, melts at how much he likes seeing future-Aster comforting their daughter.

Aster blinks a few times. “Aurora, Hemera, Boreas.” “Huh?” “The kids. I think Aurora and Hemera might be twins…? Boreas is younger.”

Theo’s head cocks to the side. “Dawn, day, n’ the north wind? Interesting fuckin’ choices for gods.”

“Dawn makes sense; gold, stars faintly there, and the sky. It's the three of us combined. Not sure about the others…?”

Oh, wait. Aster points out, “North wind.” “Ah, yeah. N’ it's also the winter wind.”

“What a cruel father, to set our poor son up for snowflake jokes for the rest of his like,” Aster teases. “Or maybe you like being called that, huh?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Theo grumbles, visibly sulking.

If he really thinks about it…Aster can see how they'd work together as a trio.

He and Theo are already close– best friends, and as many people say, cut from the same cloth.

Aster knows Theo pretty damn well. He knows that Daz, the real Daz, would fascinate him.

If it were just Theo and Aster, very little would change in their dynamic.

But with Daz in the mix, he'd strongarm both of them into shutting up. The ruthless, clever man Aster is increasingly seeing the charms of would coax and threaten them as needed, until they did whatever he wanted.

He sees just a flash of all three of them cuddled up in what looks like Daz’s bed.

Both he and Theo are messing with that fluffy blond hair, Daz completely conked out between them…and Theo’s wing draped over top of them.

Huh. Yeah, once Daz gets past the stage of jealousy, he'd probably be very interested in having a second fanatically loyal husband.

God knows Daz melts into physical affection from those he trusts, and Theo is used to giving affection to loved ones pretty freely.

There's a sigh from Theo. “Eh. No fuckin’ point stressing about the names. Bigger fish to fry– I have questions why the fuck I'm the bio dad!”

Aster frowns. “Why would you think that?”

Theo stares at him. “The fuck d'you think made me figure it out? My original fuckin’ wings were bluejay ones! I have Dad's wings now, but those aren't genetic!”

That's…not right.

“That doesn't make sense.” “There’s no reason to fuckin’ lie about–” “No, I mean– that makes sense. I don’t think you're lying. But the kids seem like admins. Eyes are all really vibrant– which I'm pretty sure is a sign of that.”

He's pretty confident they're admins, but it's such a weird thing to pair with the wings.

…Wait.

“Daz is an admin.” “...Yeah, kinda a big fuckin’ deal.” “Admins can do impossible shit.”

Theo’s brow furrows, and then his eyes go wide. “Wait. Are you fuckin’ assuming–” “He's exactly stubborn enough to find a way to– to let you both be the bio parents.”

It actually makes a lot of sense in that context; neither Lucid nor Lee would stop Daz from doing…whatever process that would entail.

Huh. It's…sort of weird, sure, but knowing Daz…it's shockingly plausible.

It makes the most sense for it to be the two of them, anyway. As far as Aster is aware, he's just a normal human.

Both of his eventual partners would get so much more out of being the biological parents than Aster would; not just because of what they are, but who they are.

He does think he wants kids, sure. 

But the kids having his genes is– would it be nice? Probably, sure!

Daz, however, deserves to raise kids who are admins. Theo would be thrilled to raise kids who could eventually fly.

He's stared at. “That's fuckin’ crazy.” “I'm actually fairly sure he could do it.” “Lot've faith in him.”

Aster snorts. “I got a peek in his head when he coded something on the fly. It's…hard to think he's not smart enough for it after that.”

A long, tired sigh comes from Theo. His friend stretches his legs out one way and his wings another.

Weird to think that he may raise kids with wings.

In a good way, obviously. In a way that, despite how unfamiliar it is, he feels a sense of bittersweet yearning for.

…His arms feel a little empty. Like something that's meant to be there isn't.

He's pretty sure he knows what that thing is.

Shaking his head a bit, he says, “I think you'd like Daz, the real Daz, if you gave him a chance. No matter if you end up with us or not, I plan to stay with him. You should get to know him.”

Theo groans, scrubbing a hand over his hair. “Feels fuckin’ weird!” “I'm not saying you have to fall in love. But…”

Aster shrugs. “He's going to be an even bigger part of my life. Kinda weird for you to keep my partner at arm's length, y'know?”

He knocks their shoulders together. “You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t tell you to make nice with someone you'd hate.”

“It’s– it's just real fuckin’ weirdchamp, man! I'm not real used to you two being…together.” “Neither am I, honestly. But it's…”

He smiles to himself, thinking about the candy-sweet life he's gotten glimpses of. He wouldn't have considered being with anyone, especially not Daz…

But, gods, he’s already a little charmed by him. Stubborn, clever, mercurial, damaged Daz; someone just as fiercely and fanatically loyal as Aster, someone who has suffered in silence out of a misplaced sense of guilt.

Aster finds himself wanting to shore up the walls of Daz’s heart and mind. Not to close people out, but rather to be stable enough to let people in.

Even now, he sort of wants to go bother Daz at work. Surely there's something he can do to help out, right…? Some little task he can do to ease what he's pretty sure is a Sisyphean work load.

He's heard Raine, Aleph, and Khons all complain about how much there is to do, so he's reasonably sure there's more than his wildest estimates.

…Actually, he’s pretty sure he’s only heard Daz complain about people doing things he doesn't like.

If Daz has complained about his job otherwise, it wasn't to Aster.

However, Daz has admitted that he was overworking himself well past the point of exhaustion to try and sleep, so that doesn't mean much.

He knows Daz, or at least his work ethic. For a long time, that was one of the only things that Aster could bring himself to praise.

Hmm. Maybe…he should plan to go in at some point.

There's a shove against his side. When he looks over, Theo has bumped him with his wing.

Rolling his eyes, his best friend says, “You look like all fuckin’ lovesick.” “I'm shocked you can put a name to that.” “Oi, fuck off! I was just sayin'--”

There's a long sigh, Theo rubbing the back of his neck. “You have your date later, right? Orph has talked about the fuckin’ Welcome Wagon hours enough that I'm pretty fuckin’ sure he'll be off soon. You should go…I dunno, do you even have nice clothes…?”

There's a brief vision of himself trying something on in Daz’s sewing room.

“I think I will be, soon,” he says, feeling a little excited about that fact.

Maybe he should figure out what exactly a claim looks like to Daz.

If Aster is in it for the long haul– and he is– then it's only right to declare those intentions in the right way.

He nudges Theo back, grinning widely. “Thanks, Theo.”

“For…?”

“Being my best friend. And, uh, being chill with…everything. I'm going to make sure that he never feels trapped again. Even if you decide not to join us, I hope you'll be proud of my efforts to make him happy.”

There's an unreadable expression on Theo’s face, before it shifts into a smile. Slinging an arm and a wing over his shoulders, Theo tells him, “You'd better. I'm gonna be real fuckin’ pissed if shit goes south n’ you're both miserable. But for– joining you two…”

The warrior makes a face. “I dunno. Maybe, eventually…? But you said he's real fuckin’ insecure, n’ it'd be– real, real fuckin’ weirdchamp to do that right now. Need to sort my own fuckin’ thoughts out, n’ whatnot. Even if I did wanna do that, it's kinda…fast. I'd rather give it some fuckin’ time, let you two figure out if you want it.”

Why wouldn't they? If it's the current future, then of course they'd accept him.

Theo sighs. “Future clearly isn't set in stone. Just ‘cause you see it doesn’t mean it has to fuckin’ pass. We've got…agency n’ shit, yeah? So…maybe one or more've us isn't okay with that. I dunno, maybe I decide I wanna be monogamous or never be with fuckin’ anyone at all. Maybe Daz isn't comfortable sharing you– maybe the reality of us being together isn't any good for you, either.”

…Huh. Theo has already given it a lot of thought, hasn't he?

Well, he can’t really say that any of that is wrong. He knows he wants to be with Daz, but beyond that…he's willing to keep an open mind, if nothing else.

“You’re right. I might’ve jumped the gun a little. I'll have to tell Daz I admitted what happened, but…maybe after the date. So, uh…if you get a sudden demand to meet, that'd be why.”

Daz is going to be furious, but Aster didn't see a point in lying to Theo when he guessed correctly and would be hearing about it soon anyway.

And Daz feeling insecure doesn't have to be a big problem now, right? Aster is going to do his best at all that sappy, romantic shit.

…Starting with his date.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@ckhalloween23

Here is my submission for the Week 2 prompt "Witches"--a preview from a new fic I'm working, Flower of Lemon and Feather of Shrike! I decided to do a deep dive into Yasmine's drastically OOC Season 4 behavior, and explore a scenario where its origin is...a bit more sinister than poor writing or repressed lesbianism aknskfnhdrf

This one isn't just for the YasMoon girlies, but in fact for all the girlies who thought Yasmine Nolastname was big boi screwed over in S4, and deserved better!!! Even the foulest of bitchy bullies don't deserve to be reduced to a trophy girlfriend and a prop for a male character's storyline, especially when said male character is a pretty garbage boyfriend when it comes right down to it </3 (More on that later!!!)

This one is also for the MoonPiper girlies, because god, were we fucked over too D: Also actually (mostly) canon compliant, except H*wkM**n never ever get back together and stay broken up forever and always amen peace and love on planet earth <3 <3 <3 <3

There's no world where I will acknowledge this stupid ship got undeadified like a horrendous, nonsensical, chemistry-devoid zombie when it had long since run its narrative course and played its role in both Eli and Moon's arcs can you tell awehakureyigsrf

This is Moon's POV and Yasmine and Moon-centric, but I left the shippier parts ambiguous since I wanted to make something that my non-shipper friends can enjoy too ^^; There are feelings on Moon's side but as far as I'm concerned that's basically canon lmao like did you SEE that girl in S4??? She was so thirsty for Blondie that I'm genuinely shocked the showrunners didn't tell Hannah Kepple to stop kanhdskufhd Definitely tried to leave Yasmine's feelings more up in the air, though! Interpret her however you like ^^

Fic preview under the cut! As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request!

***

The phone line cuts off, and Yasmine’s name disappears from the screen.

Moon curls into her pillow, erupting in ragged sobs. She can’t remember the last time she’s felt this helpless.

This entirely consumed by pure, raw emotion.

Her mind is a whirlpool, everything Yasmine spat at her twisting around and around and around. None of it seems real.

Because Moon can’t wrap around her head around meaning nothing to Yasmine. She can’t make sense of a world where she was only a pawn—someone for the repressed queen bee to “experiment” with. Someone to cater to Yasmine’s whims and fulfill her every desire and ask nothing in return.

Yasmine was everything to Moon. Moon was nothing to Yasmine. And how did that make any fucking sense?

Moon’s hands knot into the covers, a scream ripping from her throat. Somewhere amid the blinding torrent of heartbreak and rage, she finds herself tearing incense sticks from her drawers and lighting candles with shaking hands.

She always swore to herself she’d never touch the rear section of her spellbook, pages marked with a black tab. But if Yasmine can’t keep her promises, why should Moon?

Her chest burns as she recites the incantation.

“By flower of lemon and feather of shrike I bid you know what this pain is like”

*

“Maybe we could meet in the middle? Like a…sexual Venn diagram?”

Yasmine’s face twists in disgust. Moon only rolls her eyes.

She would tell Demetri to stop being a creep, but she knows he doesn’t mean it. Just playing the part he thinks he should after girls have started noticing him.

And Moon knows what it’s like to hide your authentic self to better fit a mold. She’s eternally thankful Piper taught her better.

“So what’s under the blanket?” she prompts.

As Demetri begins his demonstration, Yasmine’s expression shifts. “Not bad. My parents might not have to pay for an A this time.”

Moon can’t help feeling a bit surprised.

So Yasmine’s taking the “be a little nicer” advice to heart, at least. A hint of gratitude toward anyone is a first.

And then the soccer ball comes.

Her panic strips away her new cordiality. Moon knows exactly where her friend’s mind goes.

She’s about to be the “dumb blonde” again—the vapid, useless pretty girl who always has to bribe her way to a pass. And it makes her feel so disgustingly helpless.

“Do you have another one?” A last-ditch attempt to save her grade without her family’s intervention.

As she watches the altercation play out, Moon could slice the tension between Hawk and Demetri with a knife. She’s never quite fancied herself an empath, but there’s something hauntingly familiar about the way Demetri’s entire body is trembling.

She sees herself, hunched up and bawling her eyes out. She sees the overpowering grief that tore free a side Moon didn’t even know she had.

Thank the gods nothing came of that episode.

When Sam arrives, Moon gives her a pleading look. Off she goes to rescue their big-mouthed friend, prepared to cut into Hawk with all the steel Moon could never quite work up.

“Are we gonna fail?”

The whisper in Moon’s ear is so lost. So broken.

Yasmine’s always been a mess. Moon supposes she should be flattered she’s one of the only people who’s ever gotten to see it.

“No.” She sighs. “Demetri’s smart. He’ll figure something out.”

*

“You’ll never guess what I saw yesterday.”

Sam leans over at the start of history class, smirk dancing across her lips.

“What?”

“Yasmine and Demetri are a thing.”

Moon knits her brow, confused.

“What’re you talking about?”

Sam sniggers. “I turned a corner in the hall and saw them making out, clear as day.”

Despite her best efforts, she can’t hide her alarm.

“Oh my god. Does she know he’s…?”

Demetri’s passes at Yasmine weren’t exactly genuine. Moon always thought Yas would be more intuitive about that sort of thing, especially considering the way she talked about Demetri when he first started hanging out with them.

“He’s what?”

“Um…never mind.”

It wasn’t Moon’s place to divulge Demetri’s business, especially when he hadn’t even figured it out himself. Or…didn’t want to admit certain things to himself, at least.

“Yasmine was pissed when Miguel and I caught them,” Sam goes on. “It was so funny. She insisted she’d never go out with him, but…you know. Unless you slipped me some LSD at lunch and I’m hallucinating, I have my doubts.”

She laughs again, clearly tickled pink by the whole thing. Moon only frowns.

“I’m so confused. All she’s ever done is complain about him.”

Her friend shrugs. “Denial’s not just a river in Egypt, I guess.”

“No, like. She thinks basically every single one of his interests is annoying. And she told me once that listening to him talk is like when you hit your brakes too fast and your whole car screeches.”

“Well, you know Yas. She thinks she’ll combust if she says something nice about anyone.”

“Right, but…” Moon narrows her eyes. “She’s picky as hell when it comes to dating. I, um…I would know. And Demetri’s the furthest possible thing from her type.”

“Opposites attract?”

“Not like that. I saw him try to explain basic particle physics to her one time and she nearly went to sleep. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg.”

“Maybe it’s just a physical thing. We both know how crazy hormones can be, right?”

Moon hopes for Yasmine’s sake that Sam is right. Otherwise…

Well, there’s probably no need to entertain that possibility.

*

“I love it when you talk nerdy.”

Moon’s so caught up in Yasmine’s sweeping, graceful movements that it takes a moment for the statement to sink in.

She always smiles when she watches her best friend. She can’t help it. Yasmine moves like a mountain waterfall—majestic and larger than life, all while flowing so seamlessly.

It isn’t until Yasmine lets Demetri pull her in, giggling like an elementary schooler, that Moon’s smile falls.

No, you don’t.

Because Moon knows Yasmine, and she knows she has a hatred for “nerd shit” that could rival Hawk at his worst.

She despises anything that makes her feel small. Unimportant. Insignificant.

Moon remembers the look on Yasmine’s face when Sam leaned away from their popular table, exchanging easy chemistry banter with Aisha. She remembers the dejected pout when lunchroom conversations turned to AP homework, Sam and Demetri so engrossed in what Yasmine called “stupid school garbage” that they forgot the blonde girl was even there.

Because as much as Yasmine makes out like she couldn’t care less about anything, she doesn’t like to be reminded that she isn’t book smart. That the math and science that come naturally to Sam and Aisha and Demetri and even Hawk don’t make a lick of sense to her.

Sure, Demetri’s knowledge was useful when it got Yas a good grade. But on its own?

It only reminds her how inadequate she feels. How inadequate Moon knows she’s always felt.

And it was good, in a way, that Aisha tearing Yasmine’s popularity asunder showed her that the world didn’t revolve around her. But Moon senses the deep hurt Yasmine still carries, seeing glimpses of the worlds she’ll never know how to be part of.

So when Yasmine says she loves Demetri’s “nerdspeak,” lust and desire rolling off her in waves, it feels like she was the victim of some Freaky Friday body swap.

People change. Of course they do.

But not like this. Not enough to forget their very sense of self.

“Save me a seat at lunch? Specifically…this one?”

The smack of Yasmine’s hand hitting Demetri’s asscheek reverberates through the hall. Moon has to laugh at the sheer absurdity.

Yasmine hasn’t lost her fire in some ways, at least.

And Demetri doesn’t seem to mind. Perhaps Moon’s assumption was wrong.

She and Yasmine head off to class, her friend fawning nonstop over her geeky boyfriend. Moon smiles and nods along, pushing down the unease swimming in her chest.

Moon picks up a whiff of Yasmine’s perfume, and realizes that it’s lemonflower.

*

Dragging Yasmine away from Demetri at the prom is like trying to bathe a cat.

Moon finally gets her alone after a few songs, suggesting they grab some punch for Demetri and the others. Yasmine eagerly agrees, her entire being lighting up at the thought of doing her boyfriend even a miniscule favor.

There’s something unsettling in the way it’s so mind-bogglingly different from the Yasmine of a few months ago, who would rather chug drain cleaner Heather Chandler style than revolve her entire being around the needs of some boy.

Maybe there’s a way to breach the subject without arousing suspicion.

“I can’t believe you flew all the way back from Australia.” Moon forces a laugh as she ladles punch into Yasmine’s cup. “I didn’t know you were that into him.”

“Oh, Moon!” Yasmine giggles, leaning her head on Moon’s shoulder. “I’m in love.”

She tries not to think about how soft Yasmine’s hair feels against her skin.

“And the dress, too!” Moon reminds herself that Yasmine is very happily spoken for. “You really went all out. It’s kind of cute how you’re embracing nerddom for him.”

Odd, but cute. That’s what Moon has to tell herself.

“You think he liked it?” Yasmine leaned back, twirling around. “It’s not too much, right? I don’t want to seem like I’m trying too hard to impress him. I know guys aren’t into that kind of thing.”

Moon has to laugh again.

“Since when do you care what guys like?”

“Since I found one worth caring about, obviously.”

She sighs, a faraway look in her gray-green eyes. Perhaps she really is in love.

It’s just that Moon always imagined love would feel deeper than this.

“I’m sure Demetri loved it,” Moon concedes. “He’s really happy you came back for him. I can tell.”

“Funny, when I first showed up, he and Hawk were huddled off in some corner brooding, like the idiots couldn’t just dance with each other if they wanted. Almost felt bad taking Hawk’s boyfriend away.”

She snickers, and Moon feels strange.

She decides to change the subject.

“It’s crazy. I mean, imagine what you would’ve said a year ago if I told you you’d be smitten with Demetri Alexopoulos at junior prom. I remember when we first started talking again, you must’ve bitched for twenty minutes about that time he hit on you at your birthday party.”

Yasmine’s silent for a moment.

“He was being a creep.” There’s a steely edge to her voice that wasn’t there before. “He says he’s been watching me from across the lunchroom and I’m supposed to be flattered by that?! Like, dude, who even are you? Why are you talking to me?”

Moon raises her eyebrows.

“A couple weeks ago in science you were gushing about how sweet the ‘admirer from afar’ thing was.”

“Did I?”

Yasmine scowls in disgust. Just underneath it, Moon could swear she picks up a streak of panic.

“Yeah! He kept blowing you kisses across the room, and you giggled so loud that Mrs. Elmes yelled at you, remember?”

“Oh, god. That’s embarrassing.”

She says it like it’s some undignified moment caught on camera at a party—tripping and spilling her drink on someone, or the like. An odd way to talk about a behavior she has more often than not these days.

“He’s still such a weirdo.” Moon wonders if she’s imagining the trace of the Old Yasmine’s scorn. “He’s so, like, awkward about it when he puts his hands on me to dance. Like he’s scared my weird girl body is gonna burn him like a hot plate or something. I mean, we’ve been dating for four months!”

Moon’s stomach squirms.

“Probably just doesn’t want to do anything you might not be comfortable with,” she says quickly.

“He could freaking ask.” Yasmine curls her lip. “But I don’t even think it’s that. He’s an uncoordinated mess. He can’t dance for shit, and I have to do all the work.”

“Hey, don’t be mean!” Moon elbows her gently. “All this stuff is new to him. He never had a girlfriend before you.”

“Yeah. And it shows. Half the time I can’t even tell if he’s like…enjoying himself, you know?”

Yasmine grunts, reaching up and itching the side of her head. The strobe lights catch on something falling from her hair.

Her expression abruptly shifts.

“Oh, my poor baby!” she gasps. “We’ve been leaving him hanging over there, haven’t we? I miss him already. Come on, I’m gonna cry if we miss the slow dance.”

And just like that, the disdain is gone. Yasmine bustles off, snatching her punch and sweeping back onto the dance floor.

Moon looks down at the table, and her eyes land on a gray feather.

A tiny thing, from a tiny, fierce little bird. Beak hooked, meant for killing and piercing like a raptor. Loud, screaming, crass. Unrefined. Ready to jump to violence at the slightest provocation, especially when it gave them an excuse to show off.

Everything Yasmine isn’t.

And, ironically, everything Demetri wants.

Moon’s gaze drifts back and forth between the dance floor—where Yasmine and Demetri have resumed their grinding—and the corner where Hawk stands alone. Hawk’s eyes don’t leave his best friend once.

And, every once in a while, Demetri looks back. Yasmine is none the wiser.

Moon stiffens, guilt trickling over her like hot wax before a hair removal. She downs the rest of her punch in one gulp before going outside and calling an Uber.

I’m such a fucking bitch.

Whatever Demetri and Yasmine get up to at the afterparty, she doesn’t want to be around for it.

*

“So how are things with Demetri?”

Moon keeps her tone light as they finish their food court tacos, but she sees the new charm bracelet around Yasmine’s wrist. And she knows damn well what that means.

“He’s so annoying.” Yasmine wastes no time diving into a rant. “He never fucking listens. I try to talk about stuff I care about or that I think is interesting, and he’s always acting distracted or changing the subject or whatever. I was telling him this cool thing I read online about the history of georgette skirts, and he didn’t ask a single follow-up question. I’ll bet the world’s shittiest sponge is better at retaining crap than him.”

“Sheesh.” Moon makes a face. “I’m sorry. Boys are the worst sometimes.”

“And that’s not even all.” Apparently Yasmine wasn’t finished. “Not ten minutes later, he’s rambling on and on about this blaster thing he unlocked in some video game. It was the verbal equivalent of having cement poured directly into my brain. And he has the nerve to call me boring?!”

“He did?” Moon scowls, genuinely peeved. “That’s so rude!”

Perhaps Demetri wasn’t as sweet and thoughtful as he always came across.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Yasmine frowns right back. “So he gets all snippy with me because he’s being a soggy paper towel of a human being and obviously I’m zoning out. He starts quizzing me on all the dumb bullshit he was blathering about, and I finally snap and tell him he’s boring me out of my fucking mind. And then he gives this whole speech about how at least he’s spending his free time learning strategy and problem-solving and hand-eye coordination, and all I’m doing is looking at clothes online.”

They walk over to the trash and throw out their taco wrappers. With both hands free, Yasmine’s free to gesture more fully and furiously.

“Girl, I got so mad that I called him an antisocial freak and told him he was damn lucky I ever gave him a shot. That was probably kind of messed up, but whatever. Sam doesn’t cut him down to size enough, so I have to pick up the slack. Anyways, I was storming out of the restaurant, but he did the following-and-groveling thing. And sure enough, we ended up at Kay again.”

Yasmine looks down at her bracelet-clogged arm, a forlorn expression swimming over her pretty features.

“I don’t know why I keep letting this happen.” She sighs. “It’s like trying to plug up a boat leak with fucking office tape.”

“Why don’t you break up with him?”

“I wish I could!” Moon’s caught off-guard by the genuine despair lacing Yasmine’s words. “I’ve rehearsed the speech a billion times. But…every time I’m around him, it’s like I’m hit with some kind of emotional tidal wave. And suddenly I can’t bear the thought of ending things.”

She looks so lost. So frantic. So helpless.

“I see him and all I can think about is how much I want him,” she goes on. “No room for anything else. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and it freaks me out.”

Once upon a time, Moon might have called that love. She knows better now.

She wants to reach across the table and take Yasmine’s hand. Reassure her that this is what overpowering teenage crushes are like. That of course your mind finds ways to make hormones and attraction centered around one person seem like the be-all end-all of everything. Hell, she remembers feeling that way about Hawk before she came down from the high and realized how incompatible they were.

But Moon doesn’t. She can’t.

“Something’s not right with me, Moon.” Yasmine’s voice is quiet and fragile—a tone Moon hasn’t heard for a long time. “Sometimes, I don’t—I don’t feel like myself. You remember that week you were in Cancun? I went to the mall with Sam and Demetri, and Sam was complimenting the lemon balm perfume I had on, but you know I never wear lemon-scented shit. Like what am I, a cleaning product?!”

Moon laughs, gladly taking Yasmine’s implicit offer to lighten the atmosphere.

That was one thing Moon always appreciated about her. She never passed up an opportunity to use snarky bluntness to make a joke out of something unpleasant.

It’s part of why her and Demetri’s connection hadn’t surprised Moon. At least not initially.

The strange thing was that their bond got as far as it did.

“At first I thought it was because something stuck to me when I walked through the perfume section of Macy’s,” Yasmine goes on. “But we all went through there, and I couldn’t smell any lemon shit on Sam and Demetri. Am I going crazy or what?”

Moon pushes away the sinking feeling in her chest.

“Maybe it’s Sam who’s imagining things.”

“That’s what I thought, too.” Yasmine’s voice grows terse with panic. “But then Demetri starts bragging about how I always wear the lemon perfume when I go out on dates with him. With the air of someone who, like, actually believes what they’re saying. And I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.”

“Like Demetri knows anything about perfumes. He probably got it mixed up with that bergamot one you like.”

Her reassurance doesn’t appear to work.

“Whatever,” Yasmine huffs. “Let’s talk about something else, yeah?”

Moon lets Demetri slip from the conversation, fading into mental oblivion as they leave the food court and head for H&M. Yasmine brightens almost immediately, losing herself gushing over cute pink dresses and fuzzy purple sweaters and champagne-tinted heels. The afternoon passes easily, sliding in and out of changing rooms and twirling and laughing in front of department store mirrors.

For a while, Moon can almost forget the overpowering fear emanating from her closest friend. She can almost forget feeling like the world’s cruelest sociopath.

*

When Moon knocks on the door to 44101 Portico Place for the first time in months, she’s only half expecting an answer.

It’s 5:00 on a Wednesday, so plenty of time for any after-school extracurriculars to finish up. But, of course, showing up anywhere unannounced always has the potential to go disastrously wrong.

Demetri helped her develop a healthy dose of pessimism. She isn’t sure whether to be grateful.

The door opens after only a couple minutes.

“Moonshine? What’s going on?”

Moon offers a strained smile. “Hey, Pipes.”

Piper frowns at her across the threshold, looking more concerned than angry. It makes Moon feel all the guiltier.

“Is everything okay?” Piper asks.

“Sorry to bother you. It’s—it’s about Yasmine. And you’re one of the only people I felt like I could ask.”

She winces at the flash of hurt in Piper’s face. Her ex leans on the doorframe, crossing her arms and cocking an eyebrow.

“Go on,” she says, tone resigned.

“So…” Moon takes a breath. “Remember when you said you couldn’t be with me until I figured my feelings for Yasmine out?”

“Yeah?”

“I…may have done some light spellcasting and accidentally hexed her into falling in love with a gay guy.”

Piper blinks a few times, taking a moment to process everything. Finally she groans, running a hand over her face.

“Jesus Christ, Moon. Come in—I’ll get us both some fucking edibles for this.”

Piper’s living room is exactly how Moon remembers it—cream-colored couches, tasteful wall décor, chic modern fireplace. A goofy, surfboard-shaped coffee table that Piper’s parents had once tried to sell at a yard sale, but little Piper screamed and cried and beat the ground with her fists until they relented to keeping her favorite piece of furniture.

Now, Moon props her sandaled feet up on a bar that runs underneath it. The metal is cold against her skin.

She tries to focus on that. Sensations in the here and now. Things immediate and tangible.

Not the abstract mess she’s caused.

Piper returns after a few minutes, placing a glass of carrot ginger lemonade and a small gummy on a coaster. Moon picks up the gummy, tentatively taking a nibble.

Piper chuckles. “Don’t worry, it’s not that many mils. I don’t want us to be totally baked.”

Moon takes a more generous bite.

“So.” Piper sits next to her and takes a sip of her own concoction—some kind of purplish whey smoothie. “What did you do?”

Moon gathers her thoughts, working through how best to phrase it.

“You remember when we first met?”

“Sure.” Piper smiles thinly. “Our parents dragged us to that dumb gala, and I found you sobbing your eyes out in the bathroom because your ex-best-friend threw you out like you were nothing. And then I went on to find you have a terrible habit of swooning over the world’s most horrendous shitbags.”

She lets out a small laugh. “I guess so, huh?”

Piper rolls her eyes. “I told you. Over and over and over.”

“I know, I know.” Moon sighs, wearily admitting defeat. “About a week before that party, Yasmine and I had a phone call. And she just…cut into me. Said so many awful things. And I get it. I mean, her sweet sixteen got ruined and then as like…icing on the cake, I ditched her for the people she hated. But I don’t think anyone’s ever broken me down like that before.”

Piper tosses a comforting arm around her shoulder. For a moment, they’re back on tile floors under harsh fluorescent lighting, puffing blunts and snickering about fake people.

“I know,” Piper says softly. “And when I found you, you were still pretty shaken from it. I hope I helped.”

Despite herself, Moon leans into her.

“You helped more than you know.”

“Clearly not enough to stop you from going out and doing some sort of supernatural fuckery.”

Moon laughs softly. “That’s the thing, though. I think it was already too late.”

“What do you mean?”

She takes a breath.

“That night, after Yasmine hung up on me…I don’t know. It felt like my whole life shattered. I guess in a moment of weakness, I pulled out my spellbook.”

Piper narrows her eyes. “You said you only ever used that thing to ‘cleanse the house of bad energy’ or whatever. Or give yourself good luck charms on tests. Not—”

“—cursing people, I know,” Moon finishes. “I was so upset that I wasn’t thinking straight. I recited this whole incantation that was supposed to make Yasmine know how it felt to want someone who would never want her back. And, um…I guess the love gods interpreted that as her getting down bad for a guy who doesn’t even like women.”

“Wait. Isn’t that the same guy who did an MTV-style roast of your weird ex that one time?”

Moon sighs wearily. “That’s Demetri all right.”

“I knew it.” Piper pounds her fist into the couch triumphantly. “Of course he’s gay. Straight dudes don’t pull that kind of petty shit.”

“He’s not exactly subtle, is he?”

“Nope.”

It’s Piper’s turn to sigh, eyeing Moon with an almost pitying look.

“Are you sure Yasmine doesn’t genuinely like him, and just has a shit gaydar? Or she’s really deep in denial? I know I’ve pined after my fair share of straight girls.”

Moon shakes her head. “I second-guessed myself for a long while. Thought maybe I was wrong about Demetri. Or maybe Yasmine had changed so much that she really is into the whole geek shtick now. But…”

She takes a long sip of her carrot ginger lemonade, hoping the intense flavor will somehow give her strength.

“She acts like an entirely different person whenever we’re with him. And…not really in a good ‘he makes her want to be better’ type of way. More like she’s forgotten everything she likes and every aspect of her being that isn’t related to her boyfriend.”

Piper stares at an abstract, avant-garde wall painting, deep in thought.

“Maybe she’s, like, stuck in a codependence loop,” she says. “You said she was pretty clingy with you freshman and sophomore year, right?”

“That was different, though. She acted one way alone with me and one way out in public, sure. But it made sense. Whenever we see Demetri, it’s like Yasmine’s being mind-controlled by one of those thirsty freshmen who think Demetri’s the hottest guy in school because he won a karate fight one time. Then as soon as I get Yas alone, she doesn’t seem to remember half of what she said or did. And when I fill her in, she gets super embarrassed. Not that Yas can’t put on a façade if she needs, but…why would she intentionally make an idiot of herself if she’s gonna be mortified an hour later? She’s not impulsive like that.”

Piper shrugs. “Hormones make people act stupid. I did some truly absurd shit the first time I was trying to get chicks to notice me.”

“Hormones don’t make you go into a weird trance that your brain bleaches right after. People only wish that happened.”

“Maybe Yasmine’s lucky enough to have a brain that can bleach on command,” says Piper cheekily. “Or maybe she’s way too proud to admit she’s being dumb over a boy, so she tries to like…will it out of existence through not acknowledging it.”

“It’s not just about the embarrassment, though.” Moon sucks in her breath. “Every time she realizes about the memory gaps, she’s scared. Like she knows something’s wrong with her.”

Piper groans, leaning back against the couch and sprawling her arms across a cushion. “Can we prove she’s not being a diva? Leave it to Yasmine to make a fucking ocean’s worth of fuss about the same teen angst literally everyone deals with.”

Moon winces at the scorn in Piper’s voice.

It really is a shitty move, asking her ex-girlfriend for help with a girl she knows Piper can’t stand. That Piper has a damn good reason to hate. Assuming the worst about Yasmine’s romance troubles is only fair.

But what other choice did Moon have? It’s not like her scientifically-minded friends, with their AP classes and their blocked chakras, would believe her about a magic spell gone awry.

“She starts smelling like the spell components whenever she’s near Demetri,” Moon says flatly. “And a couple of them came out of her hair. It’s not stuff she’d ever wear otherwise.”

Piper sits back up, suddenly fully alert with her arms crossed.

“You could have led with that.”

“I thought the weird, erratic behavior was more important!”

“As if I’d have a hard time believing that girl would have mood swings.” Piper’s grimace falters slightly as she rolls her eyes. “Like. Moonshine, that’s your type.”

“Shut up!”

Moon swats her. Piper chuckles briefly before her expression grows pained again.

She processes everything for a moment, groaning again and putting her face in her hand.

“Christ, girl,” she mumbles. “If this is real…yeah, that’s a pretty big fuckup. I’m not the biggest Yasmine fan, but yeesh.”

“I know.” Moon makes a face. “Trust me, I never meant to mess with her mind like that, but—”

“—you were hurting so much that you did anyway.”

“…more or less. I think, deep down, I didn’t believe anything would happen. It was to make me feel better in the moment.”

“Yeah, I know you.” Piper looks up, offering her a small smile. “I think you’d have an easier time permanently giving up smoothies than intentionally hurting someone.”

“I just feel so awful!” Moon wails, guilt bubbling up and erupting out of her like a volcano. “I know Yasmine hasn’t been the best person, but she should be able to at least choose who she loves. Even if that’s never going to be me.”

“So…did you come here so I could make you feel better?” Piper scrutinizes her. “Because I won’t lie—I’m kind of at a loss right now.”

“I don’t know.” Moon sighs again. “I came here because you’re the only person I trust who I figured would like…entertain this whole thing. Anyone else would call me crazy.”

Because at the end of the day, Piper may be rough-edged and butch and intimidating, but she’s open-minded. She’s willing to hear anyone’s point of view, and tries to embrace every walk of life. And she’s never one to dismiss possibilities outright, no matter how absurd they sound. No matter how “weird” the people saying them are.

It’s part of what initially drew the two of them together. Well…that and acai bowls.

“Right. So you want solutions.”

It’s almost embarrassing how fast Piper deduces it.

“That…that would be great.”

Piper takes a long sip of her health smoothie, slurps echoing around the room.

“Seems like a proximity thing. You said she acts more lucid when she’s away from Demetri, right?”

“Right.”

“So make plans to hang out, get her alone, and snap her out of it.”

Moon bites her lip. “I’m, uh…not sure how.”

“Demetri makes her act like she’s not herself, so…” Piper shrugs. “Remind her who she really is.”

Moon chuckles hollowly.

“That’s the other thing. I don’t entirely dislike the person she’s become thanks to the…Demetri thing. She’s a lot nicer, for one. And less judgmental.”

Piper seems to be holding back laughter.

“So…you want Yasmine to be her true self and get her free will back and all, but you’re worried that when she does…she’ll be someone you and everyone else will personally find less palatable?”

Moon glowers at her. “Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad!”

A snicker finally worms its way out.

“Yeah, because it’s an incredibly shady thing to say.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Moon huffs. “Look, isn’t there some way to undo the spell without undoing her growth? Because like…in a weird way, I feel like she has grown as a person since she got magicked into being obsessed with Demetri. Is that bad?”

“Not necessarily, but you’re being awfully picky for someone who doesn’t even know if or how they can reverse their own paranormal fuck-up.”

“I thought you might know of a way to do some kind of partial reversal. Make her stop being crazy about Demetri, but keep some of the good ways she’s changed?”

“Sooooo.” Piper slurps more of her smoothie, expression growing insufferably smug. “Considering that fucking around with the nuance of this already-opaque-sounding spell is an objectively terrible idea…the way I see it, you have two options. You can break the spell and let Yasmine be whoever she wants, even if it’s someone who kind of sucks. Or you can leave her to be this weird enigmatic love curse’s braindead meat puppet for the rest of her days—with the perk that she’s more pleasant to be around. So what’s it gonna be, Moonshine?”

“But surely there’s some way to—”

“Uh-uh.” Piper cuts her off. “Look, I don’t know any more about this stuff than you do, but I doubt we’re talking about a spectrum here. Can’t have your cake and eat it too and all that. Either we lift the curse, or we don’t, so…what do you want to do?”

After a long moment, Moon sighs.

“I want Yasmine to be free.”

“So you need to do what I said. Remind her who she really is.”

“Even if…‘who she really is’ turns out to be mean and self-centered and kind of awful?”

“Eeyup. That’s Yasmine. Take her or leave her.”

“Even if it undoes all her personal growth from the last year?”

“That’s the conundrum, isn’t it?” Piper leans nonchalantly against the back of the couch, arm on the headboard. “We don’t know how much of that was the spell, and how much was the real Yasmine wanting to improve herself. So we gotta let the real Yasmine out and hope for the best, yeah?”

Moon looks down at her lap and smiles, shaking her head. “People won’t be too thrilled to have her back.”

“Then that’s going to be her problem, not yours. If you’re such a bitch that you need magic intervention to make you tolerable, then maybe you deserve to lose all your friends.”

It sounds harsh, but Moon can’t argue.

“Hey, c’mon.” Piper scoots over, playfully nudging Moon’s side. “I know how much you cared about her. That’s why it felt like your world was ending when she cut you off. And why you were still hung up on her while we were together. So there must’ve been something in there you thought was worth fighting for.”

And of course there was.

Because this was Yasmine. The same Yasmine who danced like a dork and smiled with dimples as soon as no one was watching. The same Yasmine who yanked Moon into every single one of her snapchat stories, no matter how mundane. The same Yasmine who didn’t think twice about defending Moon’s honor when she thought Sam was talking shit, and told Sam to get the hell out of Moon’s Benz.

The same Yasmine who talked about her and Moon as a single intertwined unit. Unfathomable to her as something that would ever split, until that fateful night on the beach. The same Yasmine who trusted that wherever one of them went, the other would follow.

Sure, there was plenty about her that was cruel and vindictive and conceited. And she’d spent her time at West Valley High so drunk on her own power that she kept digging herself a deeper and deeper grave, earning the hatred of most of her classmates. Good looks could only got you so far when you leaked poison and bile from every pore in your body.

But who is Moon to decide which traits Yasmine gets to keep, and which are magicked away? Who is Moon to remold Yasmine into a watered-down, docile amalgamation of what had once been her assets, when not so long ago, Moon fell in love with the entire picture?

And now Yasmine’s a hollowed-out shell of a person, all empty smiles and lifeless giggles. A painting cobbled together by some computer program—beautiful and polished and splendid on the surface, but a closer look reveals the details are all off.

A closer look reveals something without a soul, no light behind those sharp gray-green eyes.

“Fuck,” Moon says miserably, head sliding into her hands. “I want my best friend back.”

“So go get her back, then.” Piper nudges her again. “And maybe go easy on the evil curses this time? I don’t know, just a suggestion.”

“Oh, stop.” Moon scoffs, but there’s no real venom in it.

Piper rolls her eyes, although not unfondly.

“I wish I’d known you back then.” She laughs, shaking her head. “I could’ve told you from the jump that fucking with the occult was a bad idea. Yes, even when a girl breaks your heart. Which, in my opinion, is the highest and most profound type of pain.”

“Naturally.”

Moon sighs wearily, smile fading.

“I don’t know if anyone could’ve stopped me, honestly. When she—when she broke what we had, it was like I’d fallen into some rushing river and I could barely keep my head up. And I was headed right for one of those tall waterfalls with sharp rocks at the bottom from adventure movies. For whatever reason, lashing out felt like the only way to get a breath of air.”

Piper hums thoughtfully.

“I will say that this all makes me feel better about how I reacted the first time someone rejected me. I liked this girl Lila in the sixth grade, and when she found out, she called me a fat ugly dyke in front of all her friends. So I filled her locker with sweaty gym clothes.”

Moon wrinkles her nose as Piper cackles. “Ew, Pipes! You’re disgusting!”

“Okay, but I don’t summon Satan to make my crush want to fuck a gay guy senseless.”

“I did not summon Satan—”

“Sorry, Satan’s right-hand man Joe the Sexual Orientation Confuser.”

“Imagine if there were demons that actually did that.” The concept is admittedly intriguing. “They get sent up from the underworld or wherever solely to make cosmically cursed straights fall in love with cosmically cursed gays. And cosmically cursed gays fall in love with cosmically cursed straights.”

“Shit.” Piper grimaces again. “Wonder what I did to piss Joe off.”

“You’ve really liked that many straight girls?” Moon has to giggle.

“You have no idea,” Piper mumbles. “And trust me—your ex wasn’t the first guy to assume I played for the other team.”

“Not sure his heart was in that one. I think he wanted get a rise out of me, honestly. No offense.”

“Oh my god. The sheer irony.”

“He really thought I’d get jealous of my own girlfriend. As if there’s any girl I’d care about my unserious two-month fling hitting on.”

And then they’re both laughing, swaying on the couch and clutching at one another to keep from toppling over.

“Hi, I’m your run-of-the-mill punk poser and I think I get more ass than a proctologist!” Piper grabs the couch arm, attempting to do dramatic poses as she talks. “I know you’re frantic to have me back, even though my only skills are yelling and punching my friends for no reason!”

“Stoooop.” Despite herself, Moon only laughs harder. It’s probably just the edible finally kicking in. “You’re so rude!”

“Like your ex even knows how not to be an inappropriate, boundary-crossing weirdo.”

“He’s getting better!”

“Because he’s finally learning after his 7th attempt that asking a girl you just met to fondle your gelled-up hairdo isn’t going to wield results.”

“He wouldn’t—”

“He totally would, though!”

Moon snickers, shaking her head.

“Fine, yeah. He would.”

As the laughter dies down, Piper’s phone buzzes. She picks it up, frowning as she reads a text on her home screen.

“Hey, I gotta run soon. One of the kids from the dojo is hosting pizza night.”

“Oh, right. How’s that going?”

It’s amusing, really, how easy it is to forget Piper’s in Cobra Kai now. If the dojo’s truly the all-powerful, all-corrupting force Eli claims, then Moon’s ex-girlfriend must be entirely immune. Even if she and Piper haven’t spoken in a while, Moon hasn’t seen any evidence whatsoever of Piper caving to some kind of deeply-buried inner asshole.

Not that it was buried too deep, in Eli’s case.

“It’s fun. Good exercise during the gymnastics off-season.” Piper shrugs. “Some of the people in my class take it way too seriously, though. Like it’s high school karate, not the fucking Cuban missile crisis!”

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard.” Moon makes a face. “I was…kind of worried for you when I heard you joined. They treat it like a cult.”

“Oh, please.” Piper scoffs. “Like I’d ever buy into those sorts of stupid dramatics. I mean, don’t get me wrong—it can be fun to spar with people who’re so intense about it that they act like their fucking life is on the line. Makes things interesting. But I’m mostly there for the free shit.”

“Really?” Moon cocks an eyebrow. “You always seem so excited on your snapchats.”

“Yeah, like, it’s good energy. Everyone’s super passionate. But it gets to be a little much sometimes, you know? The senseis treat it like this huge life-or-death thing. Like sure, placing in a global tournament would be cool, but it’s not that big a deal? And sometimes I wonder how much my teammates are actually, like, enjoying themselves, and how much they’re stressing over nothing.” Piper purses her lips disdainfully. “Honestly? I’m going to rack up as much free equipment as I can, and then I’m gonna ditch them for Topanga or something. They seem way more chill.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Moon frowns. “I know they can go psycho when someone quits. Look what happened to Hawk.”

“Any of those bitches come at me with a razor and I’ll beat their ass into next week.” Piper rolls her eyes, unfazed.  “And what the hell are the senseis going to do? Call the cops on me for quitting their dojo? They’ll get laughed off the phone.”

“Just…be careful. I don’t want Cobra Kai hurting anyone else I care about.”

Before she can stop herself, she reaches out and squeezes Piper’s hand. The other girl turns and fixes her with a pale green gaze, expression unreadable.

“Okay,” she says quietly, tone turning serious.

Piper’s phone buzzes again, and the moment ends.

“Damn,” she mutters, glancing at her texts. “I forgot I said I’d bring jaeger bombs. I’d better get ready.”

“Oh, sorry.” Moon pulls away, embarrassed. “I don’t mean to take up too much of your time.”

“Don’t worry about it. I hope I could help.”

They stand up, and Piper starts to walk her out. Moon stares at the floor, suddenly feeling anxious again.

She stops right before they reach the front door. “What you said to do with Yasmine…what if it doesn’t work?”

“You better hope it does, because otherwise you’re going to have to consult the dark web or something. And then you’ll have to wade through about 70 sites with the most degenerate porn you’ve ever seen before finding anything useful.”

Moon laughs, tension easing.

“I guess I’ll deal with that when it happens. Or if.”

“Exactly. One thing at a time.”

“Well…I’ll let you go.” Moon offers Piper one last smile, opening the front door. “Have fun at your pizza party, okay?”

She’s halfway onto the porch when Piper catches her wrist, pulling her back.

“Hey, Moonshine…”

She turns. “Yeah?”

“I meant what I said before.” Piper bites her lip, meeting Moon’s eyes nervously. “About, um…if you sort through this whole Yasmine thing, and you ever decide you want to try again…all you have to do is ask.”

The surprise on Moon’s face must throw her for a loop.

“I mean, I’m not saying I’m going to sit on my ass waiting around,” she amends quickly, grip loosening. “I can’t promise I won’t move on. And I’m not, like, some piney mess who’s got nothing better to do than try and ‘win you back’ or whatever. But if you’re ever feeling it, and Yasmine’s not an issue anymore…just ask. The worst I’ll do is say no.”

And before Moon knows what she’s doing, she steps back inside and wraps Piper in a tight hug.

“Thank you,” she murmurs into the thick, bushy hair she remembers loving so much. “For helping. You didn’t have to, and I appreciate it.”

“I know.” Slowly but surely, Piper hugs her back. “But someone has to check you before you cause some domino effect that sends half the school into a sexuality crisis.”

***

Some author's notes, in no particular order:

I will literally die on the hill that Demetri is a bad boyfriend. All he's ever done IN CANON has been to objectify and generally be gross with Yasmine??? And the lead up to the whole icky "sexual venn diagram" comment was basically "hey, you should settle for me because I'm popular now and everyone thinks you're a laughingstock <3" Like wow! What a great way to treat the girl you're supposed to be "101% in love with"! And in S4 onwards he doesn't appear to know jack shit ABOUT her and just puts her on this pedestal as his "dream girl" while never actually mentioning anything about her personality.

I'm honestly not surprised that the natural progression of their relationship in S5 was (most likely) Yasmine getting fed up with Demetri not giving any visible shits about who she is as a person, and getting into fights with him the second she starts asserting her own wants and needs outside of him. And of course he gets her shallow jewelry gifts to placate her, which is just further proof he doesn't know her at all--it reads like he just saw on the internet that "girls like jewelry." And it's not like it actually solves anything, considering he's gotten her so many apology gifts that she can "barely lift her arm"! Tbh it pisses me off to not end that people whine and bitch about Demetri being a "bad friend" (which is so easily disproved it's not even funny) and don't make a peep about the gross way he treats his own fucking canon love interest. Please roast my trash son Demetri Alexopoulos for the RIGHT reasons!!!

I really did my damndest to keep Yasmine as canon-compliant as possible here. I do think she and Moon messed around in S1 and no one will ever be able to convince me otherwise, but I tried to keep everything we see of her here consistent with how she acts onscreen in seasons 1, 3, and 5. Season 4 is the obvious odd man out, which...needless to say is kinda the point XD But you take S4 out of the mix and accept some weird fluke was going on that was making her act that way, and we get something semi-plausible to work with! Hopefully she comes across as in-character (from what little we see of her!) here.

Also she does not love it when Demetri talks nerdy. Aisha and Sam's S1 salt conversation proves that she is not about it when people talk about nerdy school-related shit that reads like an inside joke she can't get in on (which applies to...most school-related things, considering she's shown to be kind of book dumb). She loves when Demetri gets her good grades, but she doesn't like. Have any inherent interest in school-related "nerdy" things??? And has never been shown to??? "Character development" shouldn't come out of nowhere and involve characters randomly getting into things they have never been shown to be drawn to actually!

I also hope I did an okay job writing Piper here! I wish I could write more MoonPiper, but we get!!! So ANNOYINGLY little of them and of Piper in general??? Like seriously, I went back and rewatched all the Piper scenes in the show, and there's like. Maybe 5 or 6 in THE WHOLE SHOW??? I barely have anything to work with and it is AGGRAVATING because I really love Piper and MoonPiper as a ship!!! And I want to do it justice that isn't just me projecting my own headcanons and theories because I don't know what else to do!!!

I really do think Piper is Not As Invested in Cobra Kai as everyone else though, lmao. Like she is there for shits and giggles, and also free merch. She respects herself too much to become a slave to the "cobra kai for life" bullshit lol

It IS incredibly funny to me that Moon gets more homoerotic scenes with her Super Totally Straight Best Friend than with the girl who was canonically her girlfriend. Like I love both ships, I really do, but when they give Yas and Moon SO many fruity scenes while their boyfriends are also being fruity, what did they EXPECT!!! Of COURSE I'm going to write YasMoon like my life depends on it!!!

Also, Moon saw that nacho nonsense with Hawk and Demetri in S2. She saw Hawk yank Demetri onstage during Valley Fest. She saw Hawk get all snippy about Demetri hitting on girls at the beach. She saw Hawk throw a hissy fit because his boyfriend bestie wouldn't join his evil dojo. She damn well knows they're gay!

And so does Piper ajadhskufbhd these girls weren't born yesterday!

Hoping to get this entire fic up on AO3 sometime in November! :3

[lastweeksshirttonight]

I've been recapping Strike Force Five both for my followers who can't access or don't really have time to listen to the episodes, and also for myself to get more comfortable with longform writing, something I was doing as well with reviews of S1 episodes of Last Week Tonight. (I promise I will keep doing those, I know they keep falling by the wayside.) Going into episode three of the show, I know I have to address Jimmy Fallon and his toxic workplace, the news of which dropped as I was listening to the third episode of SFF for the first time. Putting this below the cut, and I'm going to be mentioning toxic workplaces, alcoholism, and maybe getting more personal than I need to again, so trigger warning for those.

To start, every worker deserves a safe, non-toxic workplace. This is the LEAST a company can do for their employees as far as I'm concerned. The things a toxic workplace will do to your mental and physical health are things I don't wish on anyone, and things I'm still wrestling with after being two years removed from one of the worst environments I was ever in. The stories that Fallon's staffers tell ring extremely true, from weaponized HR to cruel, dehumanizing showrunners/CEOs, and crying rooms. I want the best for them and hope, despite the very bad "I'm sorry if you were offended" apologies given by NBC staff and Fallon, that there are concrete efforts taken to provide them with a much better, safer workplace. Those apologies don't give me much hope right now, unfortunately.

The other thing is that I really hope Fallon commits to some sort of treatment for his obvious alcoholism. It's been an open secret for decades at this point - the article dances around it but anyone with even a modicum of knowledge about the New York comedy scene knows this. Again, I don't wish alcoholism on anyone. It's a horrible, destructive disease. But I don't think that the culture rot at Late Night can be fully addressed unless Fallon makes an effort to get help.

I've struggled with excessive social drinking and alcoholism runs in my family. It's almost impossible to get out of that hole until you realize you need to make the change. I hope this is the push to get him out of that hole. This isn't me trying to avoid holding him accountable for his part in making his show so toxic, far from it. This is me, coming from a similar place where I had to work incredibly hard to rebuild my life because of the shitstain behavior I perpetuated while drunk, recognizing someone that needs to do the same work to make things right in some way.

I thought about making this part of the recap for Strike Force Five episode 3, but it didn't feel appropriate. I don't know if I will recap the third episode, honestly, and if I do, it won't likely be for a bit, or at least until I know what the future of this podcast is. Last week, episodes dropped on Wednesday and Saturday, and there's noticeably no fourth episode as of today (Sunday). The part of this that sucks is that listening to the show DOES help the staff of all these late-night shows monetarily, including Fallon's, and I want to continue to support them. (Because it will come up, I do financially donate to multiple strike funds as well. You should do the same, if you're in a position to.) It's, understandably, a mess.

In the end, I just really want things to improve for Fallon's staff. It'll take a lot of work, but it's not impossible to turn things around.

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s1e13

yes i put this one off i wasn't ready yet

i love when the recaps just give everything away it's so cute of them ohhhh the watcherwoman you say? god i wonder who that is. oh jane chatwin is important you say? that's interesting.

i love that q gets into fillory and within days is like alright guess i should write an unauthorized sequel to fillory and further

"no, i just stabbed my own hand" YOU wanted the fantasy protagonist lifestyle YOU have to deal with the common risk of blood sacrifice

BOOOOO FUCK YOU EMBER EVERYBODY HATES EMBER

loveeeee the .02% opium also love "a pretty unfair way to get you to love a place" i love the way he thinks of things you neurotic little freak

NOTHING better than the way q says "nnnnbitches" in i am in that scene, bitches

(speaking to the magicians showrunners) by all means, hinge your entire quest on a traumatized boy

every knife scene is a tease until my beloved wife fen appears

you are from a place that likes murder!

it is so obvious as to almost be lazy that the watcherwoman would be q's favorite fillory villain

jesus christ i love that q is the volunteer tomato. he would be. he really would be, he cannot resist jumping into danger if the purpose is to save the things he loves.

the memory patch :-((((((

"margo being such a bitch." oh eliot waugh you are so dear to me

q's narration is pretty fun for this episode i like it quite a bit

this is a funny stage of the team assembly, the way they resist julia's inclusion when actually julia is going to be very important to everyone (i am making this up just because i like julia)

the leo blade is pretty sexy i appreciate it

TIME FOR FEN

oh wait i forgot it's a different fen :-( see you soon my beloved

"i admit i was 100% sure that i was definitely the high king. i know! shocking, right?" fucking crazy that we have to watch him experience total ego death while eliot is making stoner jokes

season one eliot still agreeing to marry fen despite all the fine print is so shocking when you think about it, like, i forget the kind of guy he starts out as, and the "my life, it doesn't work" speech is like a total shove into character development that moves so quickly and immediately blooms and is so instantly rewarding. man when this show is good it's good.

"i think you're the only person that i can stand"

these chapter titles make me believe that q is not a good writer. i imagine his fillory fics were not highly rated.

"father-in-law, why is this blade a thousand degrees?"

mrs. me !!!!!

i will say this. and this is a kind of spoilsport opinion i know this. i do not like the whole ember's jizz plot and i find it very gross and demeaning and unnecessary, not that any of this is necessary, just that this specific element feels chosen to be a gross-out.

"can you be the champion we've been waiting for? "i want to be." whew there it is!

ONCE AGAIN FUCK EMBER FUCK EMBER FOREVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me when i hate the character the show wants me to hate :-o >:-(

i completely forgot plover was in the dungeon lmao you know what let martin be a little bit more of the beast !!!!!! yeah poor you !!!!

most pathetic boy in the world voice: i know you don't want to hear it right now but i love you

quentin coldwater has the craziest fucking self-esteem anyone has ever had it goes in all directions and fluctuates hourly

you're not as good as i hoped, quentin coldwater.

please not the glowing eyes jesus christ

whewwwwwwwwww the reynard scene is always going to get to me sooooo fucking bad jesus jesus jesus

"trickster of the faithful and the pure of heart" i gotta be honest i don't know what mythology reynard is part of but i don't know what the purpose of a god like that would be. this guy seems like a burnt pancake to me.

horrible. horrible!

it's so wild that she called marina. i like that she did that i just think it's crazy. and it's a really interesting aspect of marina's character too! "jesus, julia, i wanna help." the girl is not an asshole we just hate women with boundaries JOKING she IS an asshole but i do think sometimes women are allowed to be.

love that penny expands his powers with stick-and-pokes

i believe, because i want to, that there is some significance to julia going into the wellspring last.

i forgot martin is UGGOOOOO

you know i think the way this show frames the forty timelines, for q at least, is as a kind of suicide mission, which i really feel like pushing against. i don't see q as a character outlined by despair or futility i think he's all about hope and perseverance and i think that's beautiful and it's what i want for him!

shit i completely forgot about jules teaming up with the beast for a minute oh julia you're a crazy lady

shows don't have the kind of security to end a season with five out of six main characters bleeding out and absolutely no resolution anymore

[makyougenkai10]

You Wanna know why the 2011 thundercats and crappy "anime-esque" Cartoon reboots like dreamworks she-ra failed?

Because it and shows like it were a soulless cash-in on The Last Airbender, which forever has cred as the "greatest contribution to animation as an artform" by fat weebs who love western-anime-thats-not-anime. TC2011 aped the style, so it was getting trumpeted as the greatest show ever made before the first episode aired. The plot was stupid. No one went anywhere or did anything, because the writers were hung up on spelling out every microscopic detail of "what's happened before this" rather than "what's happening now". The 80's show was a harmless toy commercial with some goofy slapstick, and that gave the 2011 showrunners angst for some reason. Nothing good ever happened to anyone, and characters were stewing over minor setbacks episodes later. Tortured Heroes gave a story D-E-P-T-H, so that was all they were going to do. but The absolute worst thing about TC2011 The characters are HORRIBLE. Lion-O is a spineless, personality-less wimp. He's a Beta Anime protagonist turned up to 11. Cheetara is Bella Swan. "Who do I like-like, the wimp or the Bad Boy? I like the Bad Boy, he gave me a flower once!" They had no idea what to do with Panthro, so they copied Cyborg's personality from Teen Titans, and took away all his humor because jokes make the watcher feel good. Tygra was, seriously, one of the worst, most unwatchable characters in the history of TV. He was the stock smug, interminable asshole to sell the show to Sasuke fanboys. Every Anime made after 2000 needs a Sasuke expy who exists to infuriate the viewer by not needing to work for their success, and Tygra was 𝘪𝘵 because the bishie kawaii animu formula required it. It was a vanity cash-in vehicle for Wil Wheaton. Avatar was big, formulaic school anime was big, so they threw it all in a blender and vomited the puree onto Cartoon Network.

[reloha]

Just going to throw interesting tags here.

@aq2003:

#my feelings on these are as follows: 1) like half of it but v conflicted over it. overrated. 2) it's good but so overrated and needs to#stop winning every series 4 poll. 3) it's the worst episode of rtd era by far and anyone who likes it has bad taste#4) second worst ep in rtd's run and i genuinely do not get what people see in this one. the tragic ending doesnt even land#5) i have seen ppl declare undying love for this one which i do not understand whatsoever bc it's just kinda mediocre to me#im sorry women but astrid was just Some White Lady and i wanted martha back so bad

[Me: Yes. I just wanted Martha back. I’ve been thinking about that a lot. ]

@harrowq:

#i don’t like human nature/family of blood…..#it feels kinda disingenuous saying it but i really am not a fan#metawise it is interesting to talk and think about but i always skip it on rewatch#i just. don’t like it

@alexmey-does-an-arts:

#i liked voyage of the damned mostly for the foons. best dw side characters ever#i agree astrid was just. Boring#i think girl in the fireplace had super cool designs for the villians and an interesting plot#however that plot was done far far better late in deep breath and the characterization sucks (thanks moffat)#i have issues with all of these lmaoo#human nature/family of blood has so much horrific treatment of martha as does shakespeare code#silence in the library/forest of the dead is good but not as good as people say imo#i love love river song but i just don't think she was introduced as well as she couldve been#and later on moffat just doesn't write her that great either

@nethnad:

#i voted girl in the fireplace because 1) its mickeys only ever episode as a full-time companion before the two-parter he leaves in#and hes shafted half the damn time like come on. but also 2) it is so clearly the beginning of moffats obsession w the time travelers wife#you watch it and youre like. moffat. moffat is this gonna frame the background for any later stories moffat. and he says ha dont worry#only to immediately use the same general trope w river of 'man meets girl out of time throughout her life'#its like the blaring fire alarm that signals how hes gonna treat women as showrunner

@danielfeketewrites:

#it's Army of Ghosts and Doomsday for me#The End of Time is also up there#I wasn't even aware that voyage or code were like#highly rated by the fandom?#i can understand voyage#it's a big dumb populist disaster movie#sure#but shakespeare's code?#it's a waste of shakespeare#on a pretty bland ep#written by groberts#that features a jkr shoutout#I thought we all knew this

@roxannepolice:

#v9ted silence in the library because yes it's a brilliant two parter but definition of overstated#like. MIDNIGHT is right next to it#human nature has bad concepts but I think it's the bad on purpose case. like if something that was meant to annoy you annoyed you#then it did it's job. also as woth dim the whole human nature as core theme of s3 is literally spelled out there#I confess I have a soft spot for Shakespeare code but that's bc it basically said Shakespeare's mysterious muse was a WOC#abs a marx'a vrothers reference#girl in a fireplace and v9yage of the damned get just due appreciation I feel? Like they're well liked#but I've never seen them praised as deep or sth

@roadimusprime:

#Blink#I said what I said#Doctor Who#SITL/FOTD and GITF are overrated though but Blink gets the crown

@s-h-a-s-e:

#midnight. because everyones always going on about how bloody great it is.#it makes me really really sad. and not in a fun way#p.s. i'm related to the guy who plays morvin van hoff (foon's husband) in voyage of the damned.#i've only met him once but he was really cool (complimented the top hat I was wearing)

@illyriashade56

#shakespeare code i am not a fan of#i think martha deserves to beat ten with a rock for how she got treated by him#also the unrequeited love aspect is so hamfisted in that ep i hate it#martha is a better person than me i would have tried to strangle shakespeare at least twice if i were in her place

@foreign-dorian:

#my least favorite of these is absolutely gitf#NOT because it’s a bad story but because it feels like Moffat had a grand idea and ran with it without any respect for characterization#it just doesn’t fit the season that it was written in#and he clearly reuses the storyline with Amy in place of Reinette; I just think it would’ve worked better if he’d saved it for s5#Shakespeare code/family of blood are interesting conceptually but they did Martha so dirty#honestly of these choices voyage wins by dint of not being openly racist + Moffat not being weird about women + Bannakaffalatta

@variousqueerthings :

#look ive gotta just echo prev tags here#my feelings on these are as follows: 1) like half of it but v conflicted over it. overrated. 2) it's good but so overrated and needs to#stop winning every series 4 poll. 3) it's the worst episode of rtd era by far and anyone who likes it has bad taste#4) second worst ep in rtd's run and i genuinely do not get what people see in this one. the tragic ending doesnt even land#<-#and for 5 on my own terms is that it's a silly episode and i have fun with it and mainly it's like#fits into the canon of ten being a bleeding heart who immediately loses every time (stay losing king) -- didnt know it was considered a bes#i think it's funny that family of blood double and silence of the library double were voted into the top ten best OF ALL TIME in the dwm#because yeah.... family of blood double is like. cool in some places. and soooooooo messy in others#and the library double episodes i just... i think they're fine. i think the library itself is cool and donna's narrative is cool#but i think bits of it age in that unpalatable moffat-and-women kind of way and you could see some of my least favourite#tenth doctor-writing in it... and that ending *rolls eyes*#generally i think moffat is so often So bad at emotional character-based writing (see girl in fireplace but you get some in silence as well#(less with donna but i think that's ctate working well with the material tbh)#that he can have the coolest concepts in the world if he wants -- 99% of the time i am not emotionally invested#so hashing it out in the tags will probably go for silence#good episode to be clear -- soooo severely overrated#(toby whithouse out-moffated moffat in the god complex by writing an episode that was weird AND had strong characters)

@canlifechillforasecond:

#HAS to be Shakespeare Code or Girl in the Fireplace#the whole madame de pompedore thing was so weird#continuing trend of Steven Moffat being weird about women#and just *gestures to Shakespeare code*#really hard to choose but I’m gonna go with Shakespeare code bc there are a few genuinely fun scenes in girl in the fireplace#that scene in Shakespeare code where Shakespeare just starts saying racist shit#even though it was ‘of the times’#was so completely unnecessary to the plot

[chaifootsteps]

(long ask, sorry!) the new media HH/HB thread on TV Tropes is doing the 'Viv gets scorn no matter what because she's a queer woman who makes things' routine atm (they're blaming TADC fans for toxicity and discussing the 'write like HB' trend, for context)

I've definitely seen creators (anyone, really) get far more hate online when they're female for stupid reasons, but it's frustrating to see them do the 'Viv can't win no matter what she does' thing because I can't really think of an instance where she hasn't responded to criticism she doesn't like, or has actually tried behaving like a professional for a minute - even some of her fans on subreddits have said she needs to step away from Twitter for her reputation's sake or hire someone for PR.

The reason she 'can't win' is not because she's a woman - she's not Rebecca Sugar and she's not Tracy Butler who know how to behave professionally (and before Viv started mudslinging at Lackadaisy, neither Tracy nor the LD crew had any drama attached to them despite Tracy being a woman herself... curious)

Viv's a creator who acts as though she doesn't have the confidence to let her work stand on its own merits and can't bring herself to ignore criticism (given she seems to disagree with practically all of it; the only thing I've seen Spindlehorse try to improve is not using red as a bg color so much and cutting down on the constant sound effects), & as a result she has cultivated a fandom who feel rewarded when they make tweets either defending her or explaining the show on her behalf because she keeps liking those tweets, which only makes it happen more. the lack of distance she keeps from her fans and the way she actively rewards the ones who put down criticism of her makes them act like she's their friend instead of someone whose show they like and someone who is actively using them as both a shield & sword. This is why the fandom has a bad rep, it's not just that the Hellaverse shows suck - it's that their creator will paint all criticisms as bad faith and only makes the effort to address fans not when they harass, bully or threaten people, but when they do something that affects her personally (like celebrate a ship on the same day as her birthday). and I understand social media feels like overwhelming toxic noise: but that's why creators need to learn to step back and not engage so much. enabling toxic fans aside, this level of enmeshment strikes me as bad for anyone looking to hone their craft and create something meaningful

as much as I want to offer some pushback in that thread I feel the plagiarism accusations will be immediately downplayed or ignored and any mention of bad pay or treatment in the workplace will be met with accusations of 'debunked!!' or 'some of the reviews were fake therefore all of them are, even the ones that line up with consistent accounts of bullying or misgendering or a pattern of no deadlines being given!!' asking 'I don't understand what she's done to attract this level of vitriol' kind of suggests they haven't looked that hard or listened to anyone who would want to tell them

but if I was to put it to them, I think I would say - Viv will 'win' when she behaves like a professional, credits people properly, doesn't just drop people when they're no longer useful, stops burning bridges with other people working in the indie animation space, stops vaguing and painting all criticisms as bad faith and understands that even behaving professionally will not make people stop criticizing her show, because every artist in the world has to deal with the fact that people will want to discuss and critique their work. and though I doubt the writing on her shows would ever improve, I'm sure people would at least respect her trying to act more like the professional showrunner she's supposed to be. no one can 100% control their own narrative with her level of Internet fame, but the best way not to make it actively worse is to stop trying to imo

Agreed, and also I feel like it's been years since TvTropes was right about anything. Although even the Viv pages on TvTropes have been very slowly getting more and more critical.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

I feel like Lily doesn't understand how gross it is to say anyone who likes Hunter is a white supremacist. My father is part of a white supremacist Asatru cult. I was raised in that. No one in those circles would watch The Owl House at all because it has Luz as the main character, period, end of discussion. You know what people in those circles DO do in response to shows like TOH? They reblog posts about how bad it is, they tell other people IRL about horrible things in the show that may/may not be there, they try to make it fail and create a public backlash so it gets canceled. They try to make other people give up on it and get into shows with white male leads instead.

A lot of people in my dad's social circles loved Lily's video on Steven Universe, not because they agree with anything she said, but because it got people to drop a show full of POC and racially coded POC characters, and because she was tearing down a Jewish showrunner. They shared it on their social media not because they're woke but because many of them are not open about their beliefs and videos by a "Native American" trans woman decrying a queer POC-heavy show is a good smokescreen for them.

And if she had any relevance these days or her videos weren't so rambling, takes like 'you need to stop liking TOH, people in the fandom are white supremaicsts' would be getting passed on from people in those circles because it'd help kill the fandom for another POC heavy queer show.

In the same way that people my dad knows use people like Candace Owens and Ben Shapiro to feign that they don't hate minorities while signal-boosting people who are anti-black, anti-queer and have internalized bigotry in order to get those anti-progressive messages out there, Lily is very useful for white supremacists in the animation fandom - of which there are many, speaking from experience.

Lily sounds more like my dad than she does anyone who ever showed up to counter-protest a white power demonstration. I know, because until my mother got custody of me last year (I'm 16), I had to attend those, even though I didn't agree, because my dad would've beaten the shit out of me if he'd ever gotten any inkling I hadn't been sufficiently brainwashed.

Sorry for the lengthy vent post. I just find this rhetoric so dangerous. I don't know if she knows the hands she's playing into but it's bad either way.

.

[infinitethree]

A meeting is once again being held in one of the Welcome Wagon's orientation rooms.

This time, though, it's Theo up at the front.

He took a cue from Daz and Aster and enlisted Raine to illustrate what he saw, and also to get the images on the screen.

Once everyone has turned up, he takes a deep breath. No sense in sugar coating it. “I met the Scribe.”

The group's expressions are grim, and understandably so.

The Showrunner had been harrowing for Daz and Aster– oh, and Innit– to meet.

He flicks the screen on, showing the visage of the god he's been doing the bidding of for years.

“I requested a meeting. I…wanted to make a deal.”

He takes a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

When he opens them again, he confesses, “I asked for Dad's immortality to be revoked. He'll age n’ die like normal now. In return–”

His words falter a moment. He has to take another deep breath before he can say, “I was– I was given knowledge…n’ a fuckin’ geas. I can’t– the two things I learned, I can’t speak of ‘em. If I try directly, the words die. Indirectly…they said it'd cause me pain.”

Daz’s mouth twists further into a frown. “Can you be very vague about who they affect?”

Hah. Of course he's the one who wants to test it. “First one– affects everyone. N’ once other people figure it out…they can't fuckin’ talk about it, either. Not unless it's to others who know. Has to– everyone has to fuckin’ figure it out on their own.”

Aster’s eyes go wide. “Is it dangerous?”

A loaded question. “Not…directly. Could be, in certain circumstances. Definitely fuckin’ bad for our peace've mind, though.”

Vio's tail flicks in a sign of anxiety. “Is there anything we could do about it, if we knew?”

A shudder goes down his spine at the idea of anyone doing anything about it.

“No. S’ not for us to fuckin’ meddle with.”

The words sting as they come out in a warning that he's verging on triggering the punishment.

Quickly, he refocuses on the other part. “Second one is– uh, directly affects only a few fuckin' people. It…could have some– real fuckin’ far-reaching consequences, though. Uh, like– fallout wise.”

His gaze goes to Aster. What would happen if the bombshell snaps Daz in half?

His best friend is already in pretty damn deep. Aster has twined his fingers with Daz's, likely for support.

They think they'll have a kid together– a kid who they're getting attached to. 

What happens when they realize that kid won't ever be theirs?

…What if Daz spirals because he gets too deep into a relationship on false pretenses? What if he tries to kill himself again?

Would Aster be able to live with himself? Would Theo?

Fuck.

Daz's gaze is sharp. “Could the fallout endanger Sanctuary?”

Hah. If only he knew. “...Technically. It– those people're…”

The words feel worse and worse as he speaks, so he ends the sentence.

He looks away. “That one, though, s’ not under the geas. Others can talk about it once they know it. Once enough fuckin’ people know, I'll probably have that one lifted entirely.”

Aster squeezes Daz’s hand. It's hard to tell if he's giving or seeking support. “Which one is the bigger threat to Sanctuary?”

He has to think about how to answer. “...Second one. But neither– not fuckin’...immediately. The first one is– we really can't do shit about it. Real fuckin’ scary to think about, though. It rec–”

Theo winces from the harsh sting of that word. Too close, then.

He wants even one person who is aware of this truth. Someone to share this awful burden with– even if that's a selfish desire.

Cassandra and Echo. His words aren't that strictly limited, but he’s still on a pretty short leash.

All he can do is hope that someone will put the pieces together.

With another deep breath, he says, “When I get too fuckin’ close to indirectly saying it, the words– they hurt. S’ sharp n’ sting-y. I can’t…”

He feels his face screw up and his wings tuck in close. “If I decide to break it, I wanna be sure it's real fuckin’ deliberate.”

Day looks sad Of course he's sad, Theo is upset! I still wanna know what the secrets are I mean, we'll figure it out eventually If we work together it should be easy!

Theo huffs softly in amusement at them. The Fates always know how to cheer him up.

Then again, they've been with him for well over a decade. The Fates have been his eyes and the momentum behind his fighting– to the point where he doubts that Theseus Was-Taken, The Blue Death would exist without them.

For as much as they tease and poke at him, he knows they care.

Daz studies him for a long moment, then flicks his attention to the screen. “So, tell us about the Scribe. As far as I'm aware, nobody but the T3 have interacted with them at all.”

Vio corrects, “Jacobs and Styll were contacted to build the portal, then served as conduits to give us the marching orders. Otherwise, I think you're right.”

There's no doubt that Daz would like to ask more. He just recognizes that doing so is a dangerous game.

…If there's anyone who can figure out either secret, it'll be Daz.

Theo sighs softly, using the large console to show the strange location he had been in. “The Scribe's domain is an endless library in a white void. Real fuckin’ unsettling for a void to be white. Uh– saw lots've books, obviously.”

Aleph seems intrigued. “Did you read any?”

“Fuck no. I didn’t get permission n’ I was in the domain of a fuckin’ god among gods. I wasn’t gonna piss ‘em off by touching their work! More titles I saw, more fuckin’ obvious it was that I was being tested, too.”

He shudders at the thought of what might have happened if he was more ignorant.

Wings flicking anxiously, he continues, “The Scribe is named real fuckin’ fittingly. Arms spun around ‘em, writing in books that shrank n’ grew over n’ over. Editing on the fly, maybe. So…they probably wrote all those books themself. N’ their mask–”

He flicks back to the illustration of them. Raine is an excellent artist, having captured the imposing nature and subtle details of the god.

“It shifts. Subtly, usually, but when I asked for– for Dad's immortality to be taken…eye turned into a mouth.”

He goes to that slide, goosebumps rising at the sight. “They speak slow n’ deliberately. They like when people're clever. I can’t say for sure, n’ definitely can't speak for ‘em…but I got the fuckin’ impression that they don't feel real fuckin’ interested in stepping into shit here. At least, not for the moment.”

Chewing on his lip a moment, he adds, “If I had to guess? Scribe is busy with other shit. Showrunner is the one we'll interact with the most. Showrunner also seems like the one who deals with the Observers.”

His Dad leans forward, bracing his arms on his knees. “...Do you think the Scribe would help us, if we asked?”

“Not freely. Might make things worse, if the wrong person asks the wrong fuckin’ way. I don’t…trying to interact with ‘em is a real fuckin’ risky move. I don’t even wanna say how I got my audience. I don’t even fuckin’ know if I could get it to work again,” he answers.

With a grimace, he adds, “You know how fuckin’ little we get told when doing their bidding as it is. Just their fuckin’ laugh felt…wrong. Felt– eldritch. Things no fuckin’ mortal should ever know burned on my fuckin’ tongue. We don't wanna fuckin’ test ‘em. I amused ‘em, sure, but I don't think they're any fuckin’ kinder than the Showrunner.”

Daz leans just a little into Aster’s side, even as he pulls his hand away. Gaze sharp, arguably the smartest guy in the room asks, “Why did they laugh?”

“Like I said; I amused ‘em. I did something unexpected, bold, n’ clever. That has diminishing fuckin’ returns. Assuming they answer at all, repeated attempts to make deals may just piss ‘em off. N’ this–”

He scrubs a hand down his face. As much as he doesn’t like admitting this…

He confesses, “I was trying to find a way to become immortal. I didn’t wanna leave Dad alone with no fuckin’ end in sight. When I learned that Time was the Scribe…I saw a way to do the fuckin’ opposite. N’ it's not fuckin’ like I wanted to live forever. Not for its own sake, anyway.”

Aster is suddenly in his face, throwing a punch at his throat.

For once, Theo is caught off guard enough that he can’t defend against it.

His friend yells at him, “You goddamned idiot! Why do the people around me– stop trying to fall on swords for others!”

“Hey, I never tried to be a martyr,” Raine protests. “Some of us do our therapy right,” Khons agrees.

Annoyed, Daz says, “Stop being vague, everyone knows who you mean.”

Aster pinches the bridge of his nose. “Daz.” “Yes, dear?” “I–”

An odd look crosses Aster’s face. “Dear?”

Eyebrows raising, Daz answers, “We’re dating. Pet names are normal…I think.”

After a beat, Daz rolls his eyes. “It’s not like anyone here knows better, at least. I see more couples than anyone else.”

They're dating.

Aster and Daz have started dating, and that means–

Fuck. What happens if Daz goes supernova when the truth comes out?

If Aster has agreed to date, then he would be devastated if it happened now.

The longer it takes them to realize, the worse it could be.

“Worst possible way to phrase that,” Raine snarks, unaware of how Theo is scrambling for stable footing.

Daz shoots back, “I can think of worse ones!”

Hands press on his shoulders. 

His attention is pulled back to Aster, who seems concerned. “Theo?”

“I didn't realize you two started fuckin’ dating,” Theo answers. He shrugs, rubbing his throat despite barely feeling it. “Just– caught me off guard. Would've been fuckin’ nice to hear personally, Aster.”

With a wince, his friend apologizes, “It’s been less than a week. You've been kinda busy, so…”

Not like he can argue.

Daz’s eyes narrow. He drapes his arms over the back of the seat he’s sitting on, one leg resting on the opposite knee.

The pose is imperious, like this is Daz’s castle and he's a king about to pass judgment.

“I wasn’t aware you had an opinion on our love life. Also, you know we get married, so. This was inevitable.”

Immediately, Aster tells Daz, “If Raine, Khons, and Aleph found out just now, they'd be mad, too. Just like you got pissy that I didn't tell you about the earrings–” “Still not over that, by the way.” “--Theo can be upset his best and pretty much only friend didn't tell him about getting into a relationship.”

It takes him a moment to decipher what the fuck the two of them are talking about.

He holds his hands up defensively. There is no way in hell he's getting on Daz’s bad side. “I mean– yeah, just feels…I dunno, I just didn't realize things got that far! I'm not– gonna fuckin’ object to you dating or some shit.”

Mostly because there's no way to do that without explaining why.

Daz huffs, even as Raine pats his arm. “At least Aster is learning to communicate with most people.” “I was the one who told all of you.” “A trait that will either rub off on him or you'll train him into.”

Naturally, Aster is offended by that. “I have great communication skills! Also, the fuck am I, a dog?”

Cheerfully, Daz answers, “You can give orders, dear, that’s not the same thing. Also, everyone is trainable. You’re not special.”

Aster inhales, and then looks baffled. “He made you pay when you swore? That's why you don't do it as much?!”

Theo squints. “...Daz had a fuckin’ swear jar?”

“It was to teach me self control, because he was unaware how short of a leash I put myself on by following his own stupid fuckin’ ethos.”

Aster’s brow furrows. “Didn't you break a ton of his rules?” “I followed the spirit of leveling the playing field. Not my fault he thought I wouldn't spy on everyone, him included.”

Concerned, Day straightens up. “Spy how–”

Daz rolls his eyes. “Nothing that can't be done easier with tech here. Not that I bothered, because I literally don't have enough time to utilize that properly. I'm not saying more, for hopefully obvious reasons.”

Despite nobody looking at him, Lucid makes a face. “I'm not dumb enough to take away something that makes you feel safe. I like my bones on the inside, thanks.”

“You’re surely not implying that I need Aster to fight my battles for me,” Daz warns.

“My mind being broken too is kind of a given. It's a two for one deal.”

Tone flat, Vio tells them, “I have to stitch him up after anything you do. Don't give me more work.”

Aster points out, “We've eliminated countless fires before there was any smoke. Even if Lucid fucks around, finding out a thousand times won't budge the scales.”

“What’s this we? I had to bully you into doing the barbecues. You hate socializing,” Daz complains.

When Aster gives his…boyfriend? A long look, Daz rolls his eyes. “It’s a valid point!” “You still need to stop picking fights.”

“Children, can we focus,” Day complains, snapping his fingers a few times.

He’s given a death glare by both Aster and Daz, neither of whom Theo would really want to talk to like that.

As much as he loves his dad, and as much as Aster is his friend, the idea of snipping at him feels wrong.

Then again, maybe he’s just on edge because of the dual bombshells he has no choice but to sit on.

Theo worries at a few of the beads in his hair, trying to draw comfort from the familiar textures. “I– I dunno if there’s really anything else, though. It’s…I mean. Hopefully this never fuckin’ matters.”

Wait, fuck. He almost forgot.

“No– I fuckin’ take that back. Scribe said one thing, when they were laughing. Invoked someone they called the Overseer like we’d invoke Prime. I didn’t ask anything else.”

Daz’s irritation vanishes. “Someone exists above them, then?” “Sounds like it. Dunno who or what they are, or if we’ll know more, but…s’ probably good to know they apparently exist.”

A shudder goes down his spine and through his wings. Given what the Showrunner and the Scribe can do, he dreads the thought of knowing what the Overseer is even capable of.

He preferred when gods were beings trapped within the confines of a story. Having to interact with them as much as he does…

Having someone so far above him makes him uneasy. It was already bad enough that he met them every so often when traveling, but adding the Showrunner’s meddling on top of everything else grates at him.

Especially now that he knows that it’s not just watching.

What gets written, and who decides what is described? Whose perspective is it from?

Fuck. He never properly appreciated his Dad’s stance on the mind being a sacred place that nobody else could or should peer into.

Now that he’s facing the idea that his thoughts might not be as private as he assumed, he’s suddenly a hell of a lot more worried about what he’s thinking and how it might be taken.

…Can he knock on wood in his own head? Do either of them even care?

Not like he can ask, even if he wanted to.