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ellana-ravenwood · 4 years ago

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The art of taking care of the woman you love - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : You’ve always had really bad period pains. You learned to live with it, and to take care of yourself during those times...Up until a certain Bruce Wayne came into your life, and made it his mission to be there for you.

For @meghan-maria, who gotta be the sweetest out there :), and for anyone who ever had really bad period pains. I hope you will like it :

TW : periods. It’s obvious given the theme, but I guess we never know and better safe than sorry.

My master list : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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The First time it happened

It’s the fact you cancelled your planned date with him without an explanation that makes him worry.

“Sorry, can’t make it tonight. Will see you tomorrow !”

You never did that before, and you two were so busy neither of you would miss a date really. Not unless something bad or important happened. But then in that case, you would’ve told him, no ?

It made him so anxious. And he was starting to clearly overthink things.

Were you maybe...having second thoughts ?

You and Bruce made your relationship official not long ago, was the media’s pressure becoming too much ? You told him you’d be fine, but after a few months experiencing the plague that were paparazzi and invasive questions, did you change your mind ?

Or maybe it was because of the whole Batman thing ? You discovered that a while ago, even before making your relationship official so...why would you change your mind about it now ?

Maybe he came home with too many cuts and bruises. Maybe you were freaking out ? He would understand if you did.

Or...There was a last option that came to his mind : he upset you somehow.

It was entirely possible, sometimes he could get stuck in his own mind, and be a jerk without even truly realizing it. He knew that fact very well about himself. It was often the reason of how he ruined multiple relationships, friends or more.

The way he sometimes just got too focused on his vigilante work. Too obsessed. And could be stuck in a “dark mode” like you’d say...

But, he also knew that you never took any of his shit. You would’ve told him if something was really the matter, right ?

Right ?!

Should he ask Alfred if he noticed anything ? His butler, and surrogate father, always saw things that escaped him. Especially when it came to feelings.

This was a less known trait about Bruce, but ever since he was a child, he’s always been anxious. He was usually really good at hiding it, and his “Brucie Wayne” persona made everyone think it wasn’t possible for him to be anything else but confident and cocky but...it wasn’t true.

Especially when it came to those he cared about. Especially when it came to you.

You loved him despite his flaws, accepted him fully, without any conditions. It was the first time it ever happened, that he LET it happen...So, with this simple plan cancellation that was quite unlike you, he freaked out a bit.

In the middle of the day, he finally decided to call you. One. Two. Three tones before you picked up, and oh. Oh he felt so relieved to hear your little “hello ?”

At the same time, his worry peaked. Was it just him, or did you sound really weak ?

“Hey honey, just wanted to check if you were alright ? Your text was a little short, and I know you don’t owe me any explanations of course, but I just wanted to check on you. You know. I-um...”

Clumsy Brooshy.

It made you smile, the way he could be a little flustered and lose his words, when with you. And it made you smile even wider that he chose to call you to make sure everything was ok.

Sweet Broosh.

If you really didn’t want to talk to him, you wouldn’t have answered. And he wasn’t the kind of man to “insist”. He would’ve left a voice message, and leave you alone until you felt like calling him back. Bruce was most definitely not invasive...but at the same time, you’d never leave him worrying for no reasons, knowing how anxious he could be.

The truth was, your text was short because...You didn’t know how to tell him the reasons you needed to cancel your date. You didn’t want to embarrass him. Men didn’t really like to talk about what you currently were suffering from.

You also were a little embarrassed yourself, because the entire society surrounding you made you feel wrong for having periods.

Periods.

One week a month. Every single months. That was a lot.

Especially for you because...you always had complicated and difficult periods. Painful. Making you feel like you couldn’t move. The pain making it impossible for you to even get out of bed for long.

You and Bruce had been dating for a while but...weren’t periods sort of a taboo subject ? You didn’t really know how to tell him. Especially since most men really seemed uncomfortable with the all thing.

Of course, you should’ve know Bruce wasn’t “most men”.

“Baby, are you there ?”

“Um yes yes, sorry I was lost in thoughts.”

“Are you ok ? You don’t sound right.”

The most observant man in the World was obviously going to realize your voice sounded weaker than usually. The truth was, you were trying really hard to keep it steady as pain filled your being.

“Yes yes, I’m ok, just feeling a bit...under the weather ?”

“Is there anything I can do ? Is it a cold or something ? If so, I can bring you buy some chicken noodle soup, and pick up any meds you might need.”

You almost cried at his words.

Super busy bee Bruce Wayne was telling you he’d go out of his way to bring you what you needed...It made you crack a little.

He was too damn nice. And your hormones were in shambles. It was very easy right now for you to cry.

This. How willing he was to help you, how he immediately asked if he could...Was what made you say the truth without thinking twice :

“I’m-I’m on my periods. They’re usually- They’re usually bad.”

“Oh.”

His response scared you a little bit. Were you right, was this maybe too much, too soon ? You were about to add something when he said :

“I’ll be there in about an hour, if it’s ok with you ? If you prefer to be alone I can send-”

“No ! No, I would love for you to come. I just-I wasn’t sure-I-”

“It’s ok. I understand. See you in a bit, love you.”

“Love you, too.”

On that note, Bruce hung up and leaves you with a wild beating heart.

************

Exactly an hour later, your doorbell rings.

With difficulties, you stand up, and go open the door. Surely enough, it’s your boyfriend.

“Hi.”

He has a bag in his hand, and you melt a little at the soft look and smile he gives you (even if there’s clear concerns behind it). You let him in, and go sit on the couch, even if just sitting up is already too much.

“Do you want to lie down ?”

“No. No I’m fine. You came all the way here, I can’t just stay in bed haha.”

“Of course you can.”

There’s a small silence for a little bit. Not awkward, you’re just not quite sure what to do. Should you go back to bed ? You really want to. And clearly, he understands. He always does.

“Ok.”

You stand, and wince because moving really makes everything worst. He approaches you, worried, but doesn’t dare to touch you and just follows you into your room. You get back in your comfy bed, under your comfy comforter.

Another silence. Until he breaks it, taking something out of the bag he was carrying and saying :

“So. I wasn’t sure you had a hot water bottle, I don’t ever recall seeing one in your apartment. So I bought one on the way just in case. Sorry if you don’t like the color, I can pick another one up later. It’s just, the woman on YouTube said that heat pads and hot water bottles were great.”

“The...woman on YouTube ?”

“Yes, I watched a video on menstruations on the way here.”

For a few seconds, you just stare at him, stunned. Never EVER in your entire life did you think you would hear THE Bruce Wayne say those words one day.

“A video on menstruations ?”

“Well, yes. Obviously, I don’t have periods. So I have no idea what it feels like. So I watched a video, to understand the process. And also so that you wouldn’t have to explain anything to me. You know what periods are, you don’t have to educate me on it. It’s not your job. And I definitely don’t want to sound patronizing about it. So I watched a video, and read a few articles. I won’t say I know how it feels, but I understand it more. Tell me if I ever step my bounds at any moment..”

You can’t help but smile, even as your lower belly is on fire. Ah. Of course he would search things about it. Bruce was the kind of man to be thorough in his researches before tackling a problem. As Batman, he always tried to know everything there is to know about a situation before finding any solutions. But he was like that in real life too.

And it particularly touched you that he did it so you wouldn’t have to explain...You had an ex, once, who sat down with you to talk about menstruations and it sort of drove you crazy. He thought it was nice, but your hormones were wreaking HAVOC and he was trying to explain to you how periods work and what it felt like ??? Give you advice about it and that it would be fine if you did what he said ?? Excuse me ??? As if you didn’t try everything already to feel less pain. And as if, as a woman, you didn’t know what it felt like or what it was exactly...

And there came Bruce. Reading up on it. And knowing he would never quite know how it feels. But educating himself so he won’t say something that could trigger you in any way.

Sweet sweet man...If only people knew.

He caressed your cheek softly, before whispering :

“Then I-I watched something on endometriosis, because I read in a previous article it felt horrible. And you said your periods were bad, when we were on the phone. It sounds awful. Do you-...Have endometriosis ?”

You shake your head weakly. Endometriosis was one of the reason why your periods were so painful and dreaded. And the worst ? It was a sickness many people said didn’t even exist.

A woman being in pain during her periods ? Drama queen. Right ? It didn’t hurt that baaaaad. See, some women didn’t feel anything, just bled for a bit and moved on with their months. So obviously every women felt the same. Some were just being too sensitive...

Endometriosis was still, even to this day, a rather unknown illness and one that was rarely taken seriously. Some people just couldn’t even fathom you being in pain because of your periods, so much so that you couldn’t move.

That you occasionally fainted, that you couldn’t eat much because it made you vomit, that you had awful migraines, stomach ache and back pain. That you couldn’t focus or sleep because of it. No.

No those were just “made up symptoms” because you were “weak”...What awful things to say, right ? It was even worst to hear. Someone telling you this, as you felt like you were dying because of the pain, made you feel GUILTY to have painful periods.

But it wasn’t your fault ? IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT ?! Nor were the moodswings, the cravings, the fatigue...

You hated going to the doctors when you were younger, because you knew he wouldn’t believe you when you said your periods hurt...

Anyway. Even without endometriosis, women who had bad periods pain were rarely taken seriously. Unless they met another woman who felt the same. Then they’d feel like they weren’t alone, or crazy. Like there were others who felt bad too.

Every woman was different. And you unfortunately never met someone else with the same problems than you...

You felt very alone, for so long, and it was enhanced by your hormones going crazy and the pain being unbearable at times.

And then, in come Bruce.

Your Broosh.

“Ok. Well. I brought you some of your favorite food. And um, I picked up some snacks if you want to do a movie marathon ? I brought all The Lord of the Rings extended editions. I got heat pads and a hot water bottle like I said. We can also just cuddle and relax if you prefer, I read that physical comfort was good ? Or, I can leave everything here, settle you in properly, and leave you alone. Just, tell me what you need my love ?”

What did...you need ?

Nobody ever asked you that. Nobody. Not even your parents.

What did you need ?

The answer came quickly.

Him. You need him. His warmth. His large and soothing hands. His comforting presence. His calming voice.

You knew you were in love with him since a while now. You exchanged “I love yous” already. But never did you feel as much love for him as right now, seeing him sitting in front of you, asking you what you needed...

A simple action. Simple words. And yet, it meant everything.

“What do you need, honey ?”

The concern in his eyes, and how he was very obviously ready to do whatever you wanted him to.

It already made you feel better. The physical pain didn’t go down, that’s not how it worked unfortunately. But the emotional anguish ? Gone.

Because he was there.

Without even realizing it, you started crying. This was too much for your heart, too overwhelming. It meant the World, in that moment.

It meant the world, to you and your overworked hormones. And so you cried. You cried hard.

Without thinking twice, Bruce moved towards you. Taking his coat off and leaving it on the floor (Alfred would scold him about this for sure), he climbs in your bed and engulfs you in his arms. And it’s so warm and comforting, comfortable, too.

“Just tell me what you need..”

He whispered to you, in his deep calming voice, his fingers running soothingly through your hair.

“Could you just...keep holding me ?”

He smiles softly, and says :

“Of course.”

He never, and never would, shy away from comforting you in any way. If you needed to have a good cry in his arms, so be it. And if you just needed him to be there, he would be there.

You cuddled for a bit, the soothing circles he rubbed on your back doing wonders to make you feel relax. He brought some essential oils, that he massaged on your belly before filling the hot water bottle and laying it there...It relieved the pain a little bit, as you started a marathon of your favorite movies.

He took great care of you all day long, answering your every need even as you didn’t dare to ask...as if he could read your mind. You almost suspected he really could. You never felt so in phase with anyone before like you did with him.

You had been together for less than a year. Although your anniversary was right around the corner. But him coming over as soon as he knew you weren’t feeling well. Him educating himself on what was it that hurt you...

If you weren’t sure yet that he was the one...You knew now.

It sucks to be a woman, sometimes

Bruce never knew periods could be that bad. Well, of course, he was a guy. And “periods” was never really a subject he talked about with anyone. He never really paid attention to it, like many men really.

Until he saw you while on it.

He knew you. He knew you were a tough lady. Once, you broke your leg while on a date with him. A silly accident really. Involving an ice rink, and an overzealous you chasing a hockey puck...Long story short, you ended up with a bad break. And you barely said a word about it.

Bruce had his bones broken many times, he knew the pain of it. It was one of the pain he hated the most, along with burns. One he dreaded the most. And you took it like a champ.

The break was bad enough you even needed surgery, yet you kept smiling at him (he might’ve feel bad that he let his over-competitive mind take over, “pushing” you to really want that puck...but of course, it was not his fault, after all, you too were very competitive, it was a pure accident). Saying you were fine, and that it’d be ok.

He always hated seeing you hurt, it hurt him too. Inside. And scared the Hell out of him, to even think about you being harmed. So that day, he was rather frantic. You staying calm helped him, which made him feel a little guilty that even as you were the hurt one, you reassured him.

But then you reminded him the roles were often reversed when he came back hurt from a rough vigilante night...You always had the right words to ease his mind.

Anyway. That one time, after badly breaking your leg, you stayed rather calm and collected. But when you had your periods ?

He never knew it could hurt so much. You couldn’t hide your pain, or pretend everything was alright.

It was clearly a really bad moment to go through.

He knew about the terrible migraines, being unable to sleep which made everything worst, feeling like your lower belly was being twisted from the inside, being sore all over for no reasons, not being able to move...

Seeing you, was enough for him to know that periods sucked.

“Being a woman is the worst, sometimes!”

You’d often say during those moments, and he’d just soothe you, wishing he was in your place...

He hated when you were hurting. It hurt him too. Inside.

And never. NEVER would he doubt that you were in real pain. Because unlike the doctors who kept telling you it was in your head, he knew you. He saw you get injured before. He knew you were tough. So for you to not be able to pretend everything was fine...

You were hurting. Badly. And it was awful. But he believed you. He believed you and that’s all that mattered to you.

Space

He also knew how to give you space when you needed it, though.

He would be here if you needed him, bring you any food you craved, giving you relaxing massages, rubbing essential oils on your belly, filling up your hot water bottle etc etc.

To be honest, his reaction to you being on your period is what made you sure he would be a great father one day...And you were right.

Not a perfect father.

But oh. Oh he cared. And wanted so much to do good...

And he knew.

He knew exactly when he had to be there, and when he had to give you space.

His hoodie

Bruce couldn’t always be with you when you had your periods, of course.

He often took time off to be. But it was unrealistic to think he could be 24/7 with you the entire week.

And sometimes, when he was away, you really suddenly craved his presence...So you came up with a trick.

You stole his clothes.

Particularly, hoodies he often wore when hanging out casually in the Manor.

First of, they were very comfortable. And second, and most importantly : they smelled like him.

They were warm, had his scent, and you could fall asleep feeling like he was almost there.

Bruce couldn’t count the number of hoodies he lost to you....Then again, after a while, you’d ruthlessly abandon one because it stopped smelling like him, and would steal another one.

Of course, he never minded. In fact, beyond the fact hoodies were nice and comfortable, he started to wear them a lot while in the house or during times he didn’t need to wear a suit (in every sense of the term), specifically because he knew you’d steal them when you felt lonely.

It was cute. And it made his heart beat faster just thinking about it.

Nobody.

Nobody ever needed him that much before. Nobody ever loved him so much that sometimes him not being around was distressing.

Of course, he felt the same. And the knowledge that you too, would sometimes feel lovesick when you were separated for too long...Filled his heart to the brim with the best feelings.

For so long, he thought someone being dependable of him, and him being dependable of someone was bad...Oh, how he was wrong.

It’s not because you open your heart to someone that you’ll get hurt, or that they’ll use it against you. You just have to find the right person...

So. Yes. He will always cancel plans just to be with you.

To bring you hot water bottles whenever you need. To cook your favorite food and snacks. To be there during all your mood swings, and endure even if you’re not the nicest to him (it’s not your fault). To watch your favorite movies. To let you sleep in and run your errands...

Periods sucked.

He didn’t need to be a woman to know that.

So he was there. Right there. For you. Taking care of you. And he would forever be there for that.

But when he wasn’t ?

Then he’d strategically leave one of his hoodie near the bed, so you could steal it, and comfort yourself with his smell...

Mood Swings

“Brooooooooooosssssh...”

You’re crying. You’re crying !

And it makes Bruce panic. You cry very rarely, so when you do it means something really bad must’ve happened or..or...

Bruce makes a quick calculation in his head and...Yup.

It’s that time of the month again.

Already ? Poor you..

This means that tomorrow, you’ll be a mess as everything will hurt too much, and today, the eve right before, you’re overly emotional.

Hence you clinging to him right now, sobbing while repeating “I love you so much Bruce, I love you soooo much”.

Hormones could really turn your head around. Right at the start of your period, before the pain, you had a rush of many emotions.

You could either get very irritated for no reason (like “WHY IS THIS FLOOR ON THE FLOOR ?!”) or cry at everything. Right now, you were crying because you realized you loved your Broosh to death and you just had to tell him and you didn’t want him to go that night and...ah...

“It’s alright, it’s alright my love. You’re ok. We’re ok.”

He lets you cry in his arms, of course. And already made the decision to not go out tonight, and stay with you. Kate could take over. He couldn’t leave knowing your emotions were doing quite a trick on you...

************

Your mood swings during your periods were particularly bad.

You guessed it went in pairs with all the pain. Of course, not just one thing had to be exacerbated. Oh no. EVERYTHING bad about periods had to be turned to the max for you. Otherwise, were was the fun, right ? Sarcasm.

You’d get irritated for no reasons. Then feel bad and cry for hours. To then feel ridiculously giddy once again for seemingly no reason...and then suddenly a burst of anxiety would attack you.

It was a circus in your mind, and in your body.

You couldn’t focus on anything. You couldn’t sleep properly. You felt awful all the time. Everything hurt. God...

And there he was. Bruce. Taking the brunt of your bad moods without saying a word. He knew it wasn’t your fault. That you didn’t mean it. That your hormones dictated your behavior against your own will.

He knew.

And he was there.

He was there.

“Every little moment is important, Son” - Thomas Wayne, to Bruce during the Flashpoint events.

“Bruce ? What are you doing here ? Thought you had important meetings ?”

“They weren’t that important.”

“Really ? Lucious said-”

“Lucious is overdramatic. Anyway, Tim is taking care of it.”

“...You’re letting our sixteen years old son taking care of the future of your company ?”

“To be honest, he’s probably more competent about it than me.”

“...That’s actually pretty accurate. But, why did you cancel things ?”

“Because it’s this unpleasant time of the month, right ?”

“Oh. You don’t have to-”

“I absolutely do.”

Disappearing for a few seconds, your husbands comes back, wearing one of his favorite silk pajamas (and by “his” favorite, he really means : he knows you love them and think they look good on him, but won’t ever admit it because they’re “damn pajamas, it’s silly”...but he likes to please you). He then climbs in bed with you, and settles comfortable against you.

“So, what’s the program today ?”

This wasn’t unusual, for him to do this when you were on your periods.

In fact, it was almost a ritual. Delegating his works to others, so he could take care of you.

Ever since that first time, all those years ago, things didn’t change much. He would ask you what you need, you’d tell him, and he would do it happily.

He knew it was a tough moment for you, physically, hormonally, mentally...Having your periods sucked. So he was there. Right there.

The words his father...Well, not really his father. The “Thomas Wayne” of another dimension. What his father would’ve become if he died that fateful night, instead of his parents. Regardless, to him, it was his father.

The father that never saw him grow up and became the man he was now...Yet who had important words for him.

“Take advantage of every little moments, you never know when it’ll end.”

Those words stuck with him. Because it was true. It only took a few seconds in an alleyway for his whole world to turn upside down...Why would it take any less for it to completely change now too ?

What if something happened to you ? And he didn’t spend enough time by your side ? Or to his kids ?

There was a time, being Batman was everything to Bruce. Because he was angry, lost, and devastated.

But over the years...Over the years this role stayed important. But he expended his vision. He included others in it.

So. Yes. He would treasure those small moments with you. And if it meant taking a day and night off to take care of you during a rough time, then he’d do it. If it meant missing work (both his works) because one of his children was sick, so be it.

He was Batman. But he was also a husband. A father.

And now...Now he knew his priorities.

He’d never stop being Batman. Never.

But he knew now. He knew there was more to life than this dark world he thought he’d get stuck in till the end of his life.

“I was about to watch a movie.”

“A movie it is. If you want me here, of course.”

“Do you even have to ask ?”

“To make sure you’re ok ? Always.”

“-sigh- Yes. Yes Bruce, I want you here. I want nothing else, in fact.”

“Ah, not even pop-corn ?”

“...Once we’ll have pop-corn, I’ll want nothing else.”

“Um, why is there tampons in your drawer ??”

One day, one of Bruce’s associate, Carlton, needed some paperworks to finish a deal, and came into his office. Bruce was on the phone, and gestured to him to just pick the papers up in one of his desk’s drawer.

Only the man misunderstood and opened the wrong drawer and...

“What the-Why is there tampons and pads in your drawers ?”

He asked, half-bewildered half-amused. Bruce finished his phone call, and answered :

“Why wouldn’t there be ?”

“Um, are you a woman ?”

“No, but my wife, who often come to this office, is.”

“Jeez Louise Bruce, never pegged you to be such a simp haha ! Oh man, they’re even “organic”, how far can you go for one woman right ? Haha joking of course, or maybe..haha !”

There was something in the tone Carlton took that brushed Bruce the wrong way. Something disrespectful and irritating. Not disrespectful to him, as if he cared to be called a “simp” (by a grown ass man by the way, which made it even more ridiculous). No. He didn’t care. But..This was his wife, they were talking about, in the end.

“A...”simp” ? Because I have items who can be useful to my wife in my desk drawer ? A place in which she often comes, as I already said ?”

His voice was cold, and Carlton definitely noticed. He always thought Bruce was an affable man, but sometimes...Sometimes he had something almost scary in his eyes.

Ah, but Carlton wasn’t the kind of man to really take this things seriously. And he added :

“Come on Bruce, don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous ?”

“No.”

“I just think it’s funny you have a drawer full of those things.”

“As I said, my wife comes by often, and might need it sometimes. I keep them here for her. It often came in handy you know.”

“Don’t say that, that’s so gross.”

“Why ?”

“Just thinking about it.”

“Just thinking about something my wife, but also yours by the way, have no control over ?”

“My wife doesn’t- We just don’t talk about it.”

“Well I guess yes. Or you wouldn’t react that way. Do you not take care of her when she has her periods ?”

At the word “periods”, the man opened his eyes wide, which made your husband roll his. It truly TRULY baffled him that this dude was being grossed by OBJECTS and most likely didn’t take care of his wife ? How could you love someone and not want to comfort them ?!

“Well, I don’t think she- I- She doesn’t - I ...It’s embarrassing, no ?”

“No.”

“Well, maybe it’s not with your wife but with mine it has been. She asked me a few times to buy pads for her.”

“Why would it be embarrassing ? I can assure you, nobody is going to think it’s for you.”

Carlton’s face was steadily going red. He said :

“It’s just something we don’t talk about.”

“Why not ?”

“It’s just...gross and...”

“Why is it gross though ? Why do you think that way ?”

“I mean, you know what periods are right ?”

“Of course I do. It’s something happening to a very large chunk of our population, and that is a natural phase in their life. Do you think your wife wants to have periods ? Most likely not. Mine definitely doesn’t. But she does. So I do keep pads and tampons here in case of an emergency, in case she has nothing else on her.”

“Nothing else ?”

“Do you think only pads and tampons exist for women’s periods ?”

“I-”

“It’s not hard to read up on it a bit. Especially when someone as close as your own wife is a “victim” of it."

Awkard silence. Clearly, the man was uncomfortable. Bruce sighed, and said :

“Just go take care of those papers.”

Evidently relieved, his associate almost ran out of the room.

Bruce kept thinking about how funny Carlton thought it was to have pads in his drawers. How he was about to mock him further before he got called out. “Simp”. If taking care of the woman he loved meant being a simp, then whatever.

Bruce couldn’t stop thinking about his associate’s words. And it gave him an idea...

The next day, every newspapers and local news channel talked about how the (Y/N) Wayne Foundation gave millions of dollars to every school and public places in the country to provide free tampons and pads to women. And how Bruce Wayne became a huge advocate of the “period positivity” movement his wife started.

“Periods shouldn’t be taboo.”, he said in his speech for the grand-opening of thousands and thousands of free pads distributors.

When the kids are around.

Dick

Dick was little when he first witnessed what your periods did to you, and he downright panicked when you fainted in front of him while you two were shopping for Bruce’s birthday present !

That morning when you woke up, you knew you were going to have your periods. You always felt it in your bones, a little bit before it truly started...But you also promised little Dickie you’d help him chose a gift for your husband.

You hated breaking your promises. Especially the one you made to your kid. He was just nine, and already experienced so many heartache...You couldn’t just break a promise you made to him, no matter what.

So you went anyway, knowing there was a high chance you’d feel ill during the day. You were hoping, in fact, your periods wouldn’t truly start up until the evening, and so you could spend the day with your son.

Alas...

“Mom ? Mom !? Someone help !!”

Your fainting during your period never lasted long. Just a sudden drop of energy, feeling dizzy, and falling...you woke up fast. Opening your eyes to see your baby boy with tears in his eyes. You knew what happened, and reassured him immediately.

You refused to call an ambulance, and instead called Alfred to ask if he could come pick you two up (you would NOT risk driving while in this state).

And there you were, sitting on a bench with your son while waiting for Alfred who would be there as soon as it takes to get from Wayne Manor to Gotham’s City Center.

“Are you sure you’re ok ?”

“Yes, don’t worry, this is normal.”

“Fainting is not normal !”

Dick looked so distressed...Should you tell him what was going on ? But he was such a young child.

Ah. But you were amongst the people who thought that kids weren’t as stupid as many people thought. And that they could handle the truth, especially this kind of things.

Understand what was happening to you would surely easy his mind. And make him understand, and act accordingly in the future. Wether with you, or a possible girlfriend ?

So you do just that.

You explain to him what is going on. You don’t give too many scientific details, but you explain as best you can so he understands.

��And every women has it ?”

“Every women have periods yes. But not everyone’s hurt.”

“Why do yours hurt ?”

“We don’t really know. I guess I wasn’t lucky ?”

“Scientists don’t know ?”

“Well, research on it are rather recents to be honest.”

“Why ? Women had it long ago too no ?”

“Yes, but it was a little taboo.”

“Why ?”

“Patriarchy.”

“Oh, damn patriarchy.”

You laugh. You knows he didn’t understand your answer, said as a joke to yourself. But it’s absolutely adorable how he immediately sides with you anyway.

“When I grow up, I’ll be a scientist. So I can help.”

“Ah, I thought you wanted to be an adventurer like Indiana Jones ? Or “whatever dad is doing I want to do it too” ?”

“Well. I can do more than once things at the same time, right ?”

“Sure you can. You can do anything.”

He smiles at you, and get closer for a little cuddle. And that’s how Alfred finds you two, your son hugging you, and you hugging him back, on a bench in the streets...

************

After the initial panic, Dick made it his mission to take care of you. He got really scared when he saw you faint, and would actually be a little...overbearing.

When he knew you were on your periods, he’d literally forbid you to walk around, and would make sure you had everything you needed.

His attentions, plus Bruce’s, made you feel like periods weren’t so bad in the end ?

Even as a grown up, Dick would often come by the manor with your favorite cake, for example, when he knew you didn’t feel well. And he would still get strict with you if he saw you roaming around and getting too busy while he knew you were in pain.

He’d do whatever you had to, for you. Wether it was cleaning things up, picking groceries...Running any errands for you, so you could rest.

You were definitely grateful. Even if sometimes, you wish you could just tell him to ease up a bit...Ah. But how could you really ?

The trauma Dick felt when loosing his parents made him overprotective and rather intransigeant. This was just how he was. And you always loved all your children unconditionally. You could take him being a bit too overprotective sometimes, because oh, oh he brought so much in your life...

Jason

You having really bad periods is the reason why when Jason, as a child or an adult, heard anyone say to a girl : “Jeez, why you so moody are you on your periods ?!”, would get mad.

It was cute to see his little ten years old self lecture grown adults about it : “Periods are really tough on a girl ! It’s not their fault is they don’t feel well or have mood swings, be more empathetic !”.

And it was still cute to see him as an adult glare at those who’d say this and give them a sermon about why it was wrong, and they better not say it again “or else” (and when a man like your son said the words “or else”, literally no one wanted to find out what he meant by it).

Once, someone told him, sarcastically :

“Wow, you drunk a lot of “respect women juice” huh ?”

“What is that even suppose to mean ? I’m being a decent human being. You should try it sometimes. If respecting women is so foreign to you, that hearing me say what I said is funny and ridiculous, reassess your life mate.”

It’s really not like anyone really wanted to argue with your son. Besides the fact he was very tall, and as a vigilante definitely worked out a lot...he had a “dangerous” air about him. It was his eyes maybe, daring anyone to argue and making them understand he wouldn’t back down without a fight ?

Ah. But if only people tried to look beyond that. If they only tried to know your son.

They’d realize he’s the sweetest little buddy around.

It surprised people that you still called him “little buddy” even as he was fast approaching his mid-twenties. But for you...

For you he was still that little, sweet Jay he was before he died. The one that you could still see sometimes, behind all his anger, trauma and hurt.

Ever since he was a child, Jason always felt everything more than anyone around him. He was an “hypersensitive” child. When he was angry, he was enraged. When he was happy, he was the happiest boy on Earth. When he was sad, it was hard to console him.

When he grew up, and all those bad things happened to him...This trait of his got even more enhanced. It was sometimes hard to reach him under all those negative emotions...Yet. Yet you managed to do it.

Bruce too...But that was another story.

For now, you just always felt extremely proud that your son was actually not as harsh as some people thought (the same mistakes they all kept making about your husband...you hated this kind of assumptions).

He always stood up for the underdogs. And was always respectful, and would voice his opinions.

Like how he hated when people told women : “ugh are you on your periods ?!” if they were being just a tiny bit difficult (sometimes, not even).

As a kid, Jason would worry a lot about you when you were on your periods. He hounded Bruce to know if you were ok, which your husband didn’t mind, of course. But he never quite dared to “bother you”.

Of course, he would never bother you. But Jason was a complicated kid who always worried too much. He didn’t want to get in your way, or annoy you.

So he had little quiet actions for you.

Like getting your slippers warm when you’d wake up, by placing them near the radiators all night and putting them right beside your bed before you’d wake up. Or bringing you hot beverages. Baking your favorite treats, and leaving them in strategic places so you’d see it. Or scolding his dad when he thought he wasn’t taking care of you enough haha.

Jason was a good kid. Nobody would ever change your mind on that. He was a good kid, to whom bad things happened. Yet he never strayed from his principles...No matter how people could see his recent actions.

Jason was a good kid.

He was your kid.

As a child, he hated this week during which you had your periods. He dreaded them as much as you did. Just like Bruce, he had a hard time standing you being hurt...

As an adult. It was the same. And he still had little silent actions to make you feel better. To make your day easier.

That was Jason for you.

Such, such a good kid...

Tim

Tim, very much like his father, was a boy who needed to always have a plan, and to know everything before finding solutions.

When you were on your periods, he’d always know. Because he kept a calendar about it.

Some people might find it weird, but...Why ? He kept count of the days to know when you’d have your periods, so he could act accordingly. So he wouldn’t be caught off guard by one of your mood swings. And so he could take care of you ??

It was an act of care, to keep track of your periods. Sometimes, he even knew before you when you were going to have it.

People who thought it was weird to kept such a calendar, were the same people who thought periods were gross and a taboo subject.

Sure, it was definitely not very glamorous. But it was part of half of the World’s population life ?? Why keep it taboo and refusing to talk about it ?

Tim immediately, just like his dad, did a lot of research on women’s menstruations...Which got you to be called in his principal’s office once.

The man was worried, and unhappy that your son was reading a magazine “for woman” about “menstruations”, he thought the topic was vulgar and inappropriate.

Your son was 13. Which was also the age many of his girl friends were experiencing their first periods. And that principal was out there, scolding him because he talked about it, making an entire generation of little girls thinking they were wrong for having periods ?

Needless to say, you got rather mad. And the principle never called you ever again (if he had to call, he was always making sure to get your husband on the line, and not you).

And so Tim kept learning everything possible about it, in the hope also to find the perfect remedies to ease your pain. He tried a lot, to help you out. Gave tricks to Bruce, too.

And so, kept a calendar.

This allowed him to know if something was wrong, as well.

He was the first one to guess you were pregnant with Thomas, because of his calendar. And one time, you had hormonal problems and he’s the one that told you you should check an endocrinologist because you’d been too irregular with your periods time !

Yes. Just like his dad, Tim needed to know a situation fully before acting. And seeing him trying to know as much as he could in order to help you was...why, it was the most adorable thing in the world.

Cass

Cass’ periods were not painful, and you were so glad for her.

To her, it was a mild annoyance, there was no pain, it was just irritating. And yes, she had mood swings and could easily get mad, but it was nothing major.

She never even knew other women could have it so bad...The education about periods was really lacking ! They never talked about it anywhere !

Cass was a woman of few words...but she knew how to pass her emotions through her body language. Oh, how she knew.

“Momma.”

Just like your other kids, she’d come check on you when Bruce couldn’t take care of you. You wanted space sometimes, which they all understood. But honestly, during your periods, when you were so sensitive about everything ? You also wanted them around almost all the time.

A paradox. Very fitting of those damn periods time.

Cass would just sit with you, and make sure you were comfortable. She wouldn’t say a word. Lay her head on your shoulder, and hold your hand. Watch movies with you. Hold you close.

She was delicate with you, as if afraid to break you.

Just like your husband, her presence had a soothing effect ? As if nothing bad could ever happen to you as long as she was there (and that probably was right, Cassandra would never let anyone touch her “momma”).

She didn’t need to talk. She didn’t need to do anything more than stay with you when you didn’t want to be alone.

She never experienced the pain you had, but if even to her, who had painless periods, it was annoying and a damn plague ? Then to you...

She didn’t need to do much.

Just her being there already meant a lot.

Her holding onto you, even as she stayed afraid of anyone’s touch for so long.

“Momma.”

Cassandra was your only daughter. And oh you were glad her periods weren’t as bad as yours. That’s all that really mattered to you.

“Momma.”

You often fell asleep with the warmth of your kiddo right there. Next to you. Knowing she wasn’t going to leave unless you wanted to. Knowing she wish she could take your pain on.

Ah. But no. No even if it was possible you’d never allow that. You were the mom. YOU were supposed to take their pains on.

And knowing that Cass never suffered on her periods as bad as you did, was enough. After all, your baby suffered enough in the past...She could get a little lucky, right ?

“Momma.”

That word was music to your hear. Cass’ first word to you.

She didn’t need to talk anyway. Being here was enough...

It was more than enough.

Damian

Everyone who saw Damian around you would notice that he wasn’t quite the same boy than "normally”.

He was calmer, nicer, and sweeter.

You’d argue that it was his real self. That this was his “normal”. That he was just never allowed to show his true heart before, and wasn’t used to trust others and open up. And you were definitely more than happy that he finally managed to do that after arriving into your home.

That none of you ever gave up on him.

You especially had a calming effect on him. After all, he never had a “conventional” mom, who could take care of him when he was sick, kiss him good night and make sure he always had everything he needed.

Some would say you coddled him too much...And you didn’t care. Because that boy lived 10 years being the opposite of coddled. So what, if you’d cut the crust off of his sandwiches, or read him bed time stories every single night ?

Damian loved it. As he often said, being a momma’s boy was “hardly something he was ashamed of”. He never felt loved and safe before, you bet he’d take every chance he got to be cared for.

He never got to act like an actual kid. You allowed him to do just that, AND you made him feel like he belonged. Finally. Like he had an actual family.

So...The day he heard about your absolutely awful periods, what did he do ?

Every single day of your life with him, you had at least one nice intention to him. Wether it was baking his favorite cookies, or telling him how proud you were of him, you always had nothing but kindness for him, often going out of your way for your son.

It was normal for you. Of course. And you did it with all your children...but you had to admit maybe Damian had just a little more of it, because he really never had anything like that to him.

And to him, it only felt normal then, when you felt at your worst, that he’d be there for you exactly like you were there for him.

During any mood swings, he’d have comforting words for you. He had little attentions for you that just made life easier.

Again, it would greatly surprise anyone but his family, but when you had your periods, he did a lot of overly sappy little things.

Like for example : every month, he wrote seven things he found extraordinary about you and would put them in a jar. Seven. The number of day in a week. And usually the number of day, give or take, your periods would last.

The jar would be sitting right on your bedside table on the first day, with the indications you had to read one paper every morning, or every time you felt down (it was supposed to be one paper a day). Sometimes, you’d go through his seven messages in less than a day...and magically, the next day, the jar would be filled again.

Damian made sure of it.

This was just a small example. But it showed exactly what kind of boy your son really was.

If he was heartless, a killer, someone destined to destroy the World...would he really put that much effort into making you feel love ? Into making you feel better any way he could ?

You didn’t think so. The only way your son could ever “turn bad”, was if you (and Bruce) stopped caring for him. Left him alone (A/N : this is a CLEAR jab at current comics canon, if you know what I mean :I ). Only if he felt abandoned, unloved, and rejected.

You knew your boy had, just like you, “rejection dysphoria”. It was hard for him to accept any kind of rejection, and it made him act out and hurt. But that was another story...

Right now, all that mattered to you, is that you knew your son was always going to be there for you, just like you’d always be there for him.

That he finally learned how to love, and care. That he would never unlearn it, as long as you lived.

Your periods sucked.

So bad.

But Damian was a ray of light in the darkness of those seven dreaded days...

Duke

Duke’s mom also had endometriosis.

Over the years, he perfected a “special remedy” he always made her when she had her periods.

He hesitated to make it for you. After all, it was something that made him bond greatly with his own mom...was making it for you, now, acceptable ? Did it mean he forgot about his mother ?

No. No of course not.

Duke scolded himself for even thinking that. You too, became his mom. He learned over the years that it was ok, to have two mom. That when they’ll find a cure for his parents, it wouldn’t take away the years you filled in for the mother role, and took care of Duke as if he was your own.

So here we go.

Some ginger. Some lemon. A dash of his little secret ingredients. Your favorite blend of tea. And it was done.

He brought it to you, saying it always soothed his mom...

And just that.

Just those words. It meant so much.

“It always used to soothe my mom. Used to do it all the time, ever since I was five !”

He said with a smile.

It was something he used to do for his mom, and now he did it for you. Just this. Just that fact, it was enough to make you feel better.

It didn’t take away the pain, but mentally ? It felt amazing.

You drunk his concoction and...Oh god.

Oh god it was disgusting. And...Ah. Yes. His mom probably pretended she liked it. “Ever since I was five !”. Ha. So cute. But also, it really was gross.

At the same time, you felt a pleasant warmth spread through your body as the terrible aftertaste slowly faded. Duke smiled to you, and with a little mischief in his voice said :

“It’s really gross, isn’t it ? But it does the trick haha”

There was a few seconds of silence. During which you blinked at him, not quite registering what he just said. Until...

You burst out laughing. The little mischievous smile, and the way he said “it’s really gross, isn’t it ?” was just too funny.

Your communicative laugh spread to Duke, and as he laughs it makes you laugh even louder too and...You forget.

For a moment you forget about your periods. The pain. The anguish. The emotional labor. This damn week of hell.

You forget.

And you just laugh.

You laugh alongside your son.

Thomas (if you wonder who the H is Thomas, you can check my “Batmom” masterlists, he appears from the story “the great mall adventure” ^^)

Thomas must’ve been about four, when he first saw you having your periods.

Your littlest baby was also one of the most sensitive out of them all (right along with Jason, the two of them cried their eyes out when they watched “Inside Out” and Bing Bong disappeared). Bruce always said he took that after you. And honestly, you couldn’t disagree. It’s true you could be very sensitive.

So one morning, when he woke up and went to breakfast and heard you weren’t feeling right, he immediately went to you and...

Bruce found him an hour later, crying in his room.

“Oh wow hey hey, what is it buddy ?”

He asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice. Thomas might’ve been sensitive, but he rarely cried. He was just a very empathetic boy. But also a cheerful one, and he had a knack to see the good even in the worst situations.

So seeing him sob like that, made Bruce’s heart drop.

“Is mommy going to die ?!”

It took Bruce a few seconds to get a hold of his racing heart. His son crying. And asking if you were going to die. It shortcircuited his brain for a few seconds. Until he realized what Thomas was talking about...

“Oh, oh no champ, no, mommy isn’t going to die.”

Your kids were used to see you strong and fierce. Of course the first time your little one would see you on your period, he’d think something big was wrong.

He had just recently learned what death really mean (you can read about this here : The day he understand what Death means), and since then was so scared it’d happen to his parents. Or his siblings. Or anyone he knew, really...

Picking up his son and slowly and softly tapping his back in soothing circles, he walked around the room and rocked him until the boy calmed down a bit, before trying to explain as best he could why mommy felt bad, without going in in too many details.

Once Thomas understood this was just like when he got a fever that time, that it would pass, he felt much better. But also worst. Because his mommy wasn’t feeling well ! And it happened often !

Bruce reassured him that there were ways they could help you...And soooo :

Thomas brought you hot water bottles, with the help of his dad (the bottles were almost as big as him), and ended up falling asleep on one as it laid on your belly (he heard that humans’ body heat was very strong and wanted to “help the hot water bottle”).

The water in the bottle became cold, and you removed it..Your son didn’t woke up, so you laid him back down on your belly. And he was warm and so tiny, and you loved him so much...It made you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, to be surrounded by people like this little one.

And all your kids. Alfred. Your friends. Broosh...You fell asleep with sweet dreams made of warmth and cuddles.

Not long after, Bruce came by to check on you, finding both you and Tommy deeply asleep and...An overwhelming feeling of happiness took him over.

You weren’t the only one feeling lucky. Except for Bruce...For Bruce it was even stronger, because after his parents died, he never thought he would be happy ever again.

This was why he’d always be there for you. You gave him another family...

His schedule was freed, and he had a busy day. A nap sounded perfect. Especially while nestled against you, with his little one right there.

Dick came by in the afternoon, and found all of you like this. Bruce holding both you and his son, Thomas taking way more space than such a small body would make you thing he’d take.

Dick snapped a picture, and send it to the group chat he had with his siblings and some other close friends and such (like Clark, Wally, Conner, Diana etc etc they used the group chat to gossip about Bruce, mainly). With the caption : “Big bad bat tamed by a four year old”.

Cass send multiple hearteyes emojis. Jason said it was adorable and send a crying emoji, and didn’t care one bit what anyone would think of him saying such things. Damian yelled at Dick that he should’ve put the comforter back up on his baby brother and mom because it wasn’t properly put on !! Duke send a : “I’m downloading that picture for the next time he gets mad at us and we need to soften him up”. Tim replied with a gif of Maes Hughes from Full Metal Alchemist saying : “dis dad”. Clark said “they look so peaceful, you wouldn’t believe he threatened me just yesterday to punch me because I made a joke” to which Diana answered : “that joke was so bad I wanted to punch you to. Cute pic btw, give kisses to Tommy for me, you should come see me more, I just stocked my freezer with nothing but ice creams”..Everyone send a little comment about it.

Because even superheroes, could have normal conversations about those they love.

Suffering alone is a thing of the past

It’s funny. You couldn’t even remember, now, what it felt like “before”.

Before.

Before you met Bruce.

Before that first time he showed up to your apartment to take care of you.

How were your periods before that ? The worst.

Definitely.

Actual Hell.

Not that they were feeling better now. Oh no. There were time your overdramatic self exclaimed : “uuuugh just kill me alreadyyyy” when the pain was too grand...But you weren’t alone anymore.

That’s what made it a bearable moment of the month.

It still felt as bad as it used to when you were younger.

But it wasn’t just you agonizing in your bedroom all alone anymore.

It wasn’t you wishing you’d have someone to take care of you, and to try and ease the pain. Not anymore.

It wasn’t you crying with nobody to dry your tears anymore...

No. You had an entire army of people right there just for you.

Alfred, your children, and most of all...Bruce.

Your Broosh.

Ah. If only some people could see this side of him you and your family knew. The caring and loving one. In a way though, it was rather comforting and made you feel special, that only you and your kiddos knew the real Bruce ?

Of course nowadays, some of his closest friends like Clark and Diana weren’t fooled anymore either. But they’d never see him the way you did, when you were in unbearable pain, and he was right there, drawing soothing circle on your back, keeping you warm and safe...

This was only privy to you.

Your Broosh.

Yes.

Your periods were still as painful as they used to. But now...

Now you weren’t alone anymore.

The end.

________________________________________________

Hey guys ! I hope you liked this :). As usual, feedbacks and reblogs are always welcomed ! (Especially lately, the reblog ratio seems at its worst haha). And again, I really hope you liked this. I was finally able to sit down and write after weeks of being stuck in a depressed mood, so I’m quite excited about sharing this. But as usual, always a bit nervous that you’ll be disappointed blahblahblah low self-esteem and all that haha... :). I just hope this is to your liking. Thank you.

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fandom-imagines · 4 years ago

Text

Little Miss Favourite

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Teacher!Snape X Legal!Granger!Reader

Warnings: Teacher x student relationship x)

Words: 2.5k

It would be a lie to say that the Granger sisters weren’t incredibly smart, anyone could see it. Whilst Hermione, the younger sibling, was exceptionally talented with spells, Y/N was talented in the art of potion making; not that she wasn’t talented at other things also.

Due to her consistently high scores in potions, Y/N had caught the attention of her favourite teacher: Severus Snape, despite his annoyance towards the younger Granger. Whilst he found Hermione insufferable, Y/N was more than tolerable in his honest opinion; not that he would ever admit that to anyone, maybe not even himself.

Perhaps it was her confident personality, her boldness or her smarts, Severus would never know. Of course, it wasn’t only him that had his attention focused on her, many people did. Those people included Hermione’s friends. Y/N knew this, how could she not? The way Harry did his best to show off whilst Hermione rolled her eyes and Ron got all embarrassed, it was obvious; at least to her. Even though her personalist screamed confident, she wasn’t mean like other people at Hogwarts, not often at least.

“Morning Professor,” her words were sweet as she greeted the dark-haired man, early as always.

“Good morning, Miss Granger,” Snapes tone was kinder than usual, but without it being clear. To anyone else, it would seem normal.

“Got a date for the Yule Ball yet, sir?” Whilst her question was genuine and not flirtatious, Severus couldn’t help but wish it was.

“Why would I bother with something as childish as having a date?”

“I shall take that as a no,”

He could hear the stool she usually seated at drag out from beneath the desk before she seated herself on top of it.

“What about you Miss Granger?” Y/N, who had forgotten what she had previously asked him, was confused at his question. “Surely someone like you must have a date,”

A sight blush ran up her cheeks at his words, eyes wide.

“No sir,” she giggled. “Not interested in anyone that’s asked me.”

Her words caught his attention, eyes glancing towards her for a split second before returning to the work he was marking. It was Harry Potters; he could almost roll his eyes.

“Why is that?”

“Immature men that feel like I should go with them because they’re popular? No thank you, give me a mature and unentitled man any day,”

For the second time in five minutes her words caught his attention, suddenly distracted by what she had said rather than being distracted by Potter’s work.

“I see,”

It wasn’t long until the rest of her class began to pile into the dungeon, taking their usual seats as Fred and George came to sit beside her at their typical desk.

“Morning, Y/N/N,” the greeted in perfect synergy, almost as though it had been rehearsed but she knew better than to expect that and simply laughed.

“We heard something,” Fred began.

“Potter is wanting to ask you to be his date to the Yule Ball.” George finished, the twins laughing at Y/N’s shocked face.

“Please say you’re joking,” she pleaded, desperately hoping that it wasn’t true. “He’s so much younger than me!”

“Oh and Hermione is going with Krum,”

“This day just gets worse and worse,”

“Weasleys, detention.” A harsh voice interrupted their conversation as to be expected.

“But sir!” They groaned, once again in unison. “She was talking too!”

“Not as much as you two.”

The great hall was quiet, everyone there working on their essays, everyone being the fourth years. Fortunately for her, Y/N was allowed to sit and work alongside the younger students having been given permission by Professor Snape himself.

“Hey Y/N,” Harry’s quiet voice pulled her attention away from the parchment in front of her. “I was just wondering-“ His words were soon cut off by a hand shoving his head into his own parchment.

“Silence,”

“Yes, Professor Snape.”

An amused smirk covered Y/N’s lips as she turned her own attention back to the work in front of her that was soon to be finished.

“Later guys,” she shot the trio one last smile as she walked towards Snape, handing him her essay with a small smile, one he almost wished to return.

“I’m sure this will be as excellent as always, Granger.”

“I sure hope so, sir.”

With one final nod, Severus dismissed her.

Music blasted throughout the hall as the Tri-wizard champions begun to dance with their partners. Y/N and her own date, who ended up being George due to both forgetting about the dance until the night before, stood laughing at Ron’s dress robes.

“He looks like our great aunt,” George chuckled, his words making Y/N snort in amusement.

“Poor kid. He looks so embarrassed,” she giggled.

“Well, looks like its our turn to dance. Care to join me, Granger?” George grinned, offering him her hand which she gladly took.

“After you, but can you even dance?”

“Nope,”

“Good, me neither.”

Their dance was horrendous, and they were both glad when the music ended, the pair running off the dance floor in laughter, hands still together.

“That was- “George began, only to have his sentence finished by his dance partner.

“Dreadful?”

“Yeah,”

Their fit of laughter was cut short by another voice joining the conversation. “Nice dancing guys!”

“Shut up, Fred!” This time it was Y/N and George’s turn to speak in unison, something that triggered a smirk to grow on Fred’s lips.

“Alright, alright, calm down you two,”

“I almost feel bad for him,” Fred chuckled, catching George and Y/N’s attention as they followed his gaze.

“I would but he gave us detention and not her, talk about favouritism!”

An idea popped into Y/N’s head, as she removed herself from the twins’ arms.

“Where are you going, Y/N/N?” Fred asked. “Wait are you-“

“I feel bad for him, okay!”

The twins burst into laughter as they realised her plan.

“I bet you my entire allowance that she can’t get him to dance,” Fred whispered as they watched Y/N walking towards Snape.

“You’re on,”

“Evening, Professor,” Y/N greeted, desperately trying her best to not show her nervousness.

“Good evening, Miss Granger,” He returned her greeting, turning his attention fully to her. “Shouldn’t you be with your date?”

“George? No, we both forgot we needed dates, so we went together. He’ll cope on his own,” The girl giggled, glancing back at said man to see both twins smirking at her. “You look lonely, want to dance?”

“Do I look like the sort of person to dance?”

“Do I?” She joked, enjoying the small smirk that pulled up at his lips. “It’ll be one dance and then I’ll let you go back to enjoying your own company. It’s a teacher and student dance anyway!”

“No way…” Fred gasped, watching as Snape and Y/N headed to the dancefloor.

“I knew she could do it! You now owe me your entire allowance,”

“Shit,”

“See it wasn’t too bad, was it, Professor?” Y/N giggled, aware of the fact that everyone had been staring at her dancing with Snape.

“You stepped on my foot at least three times,”

“I said I don’t dance!”

She celebrated a silent victory as Snape shook his head, a small smile pulling at his lips.

“This is true,”

“Welp, I’ll leave you to enjoy your own company again!” The older Granger grinned, giving him one final nod as she headed by to the twins who were still in shock.

“Shut your mouth, Fred. You’ll catch flies,” Y/N smirked, placing her hand on Fred’s chin to shut up mouth that had been open since she managed to convince Snape to dance.

“Did you bewitch him or something?! How on earth did you manage to get him to dance?” George asked in shock.

“Night guys, thanks for the fun time.” She winked, downing the rest of her drink that she had left before leaving the hall to head to bed.

“Miss Granger, you’re late,” Snapes’ words ran throughout the dungeon.

It was strange, how he knew it was her before he had even turned around to face her.

“Sorry Professor, I had a detention.”

“Well now you have another, stay after class.”

“Good luck, Snapes detentions are horrible,” George chuckled, giving Y/N a reassuring pat on the back.

“Yeah, we would know, Miss Favourite,” Fred chimed in with his typical teasing tone.

“Thanks, that makes me feel better. I’ll see you guys later,”

“Good luck.”

The second everyone had left the classroom, Snapes attention was on her.

“So why did you get a detention?” His words were questioning, not malicious. It was almost as though he was genuinely curious.

“I got in a duel,” Y/N shook her head with a slight laugh. “Malfoy was being, well Malfoy. So, yeah.”

A grin covered her lips as Snape shook his head in slight amusement; it was cute in a way.

“Next time don’t get caught, it makes my classes a lot easier,”

“Got ya, Professor,”

“Good, you may leave,”

“That was quick, did he have to leave?” Fred, who had been waiting outside for about two minutes, asked.

“Little miss favourite,” were her only words as she shot Fred a wink, just like she had done at the ball a few weeks ago.

“I swear he has a crush on you or something,”

“Yeah, imagine. Professor Severus Snape developing a crush on a student, nice one George. Why are you two even here?”

The twins, who had been caught red-handed, shared an amused look, quickly rushing into action by grasping Y/N’s arms, tugging her along.

“We need someone to test our latest concoction!” They spoke in unison.

“No, no way! Merlin knows what you’ve put in that!”

“Either you help us, or we’ll tell everyone about your little crush on the potions professor,”

“Fine.”

“Fred and George Weasley, you come here this instance!” Y/N’s voice shrieked, her words echoing throughout the entire Gryffindor common room.

“Run!” Was all she heard, followed by laughter and footsteps leaving through the portrait.

Y/N rushed after them, hell bent on causing as much annoyance to them as they had to her.

“I will kill you!”

“That’s not very nice now, is it? You love us really,” George teased her once more before darting away.

“George Weasley I am faster than you and you know it!”

It wasn’t a lie, Y/N had been, and always will be, faster than him. No matter how many pranks they had to run away from, the twins would never be able to outrun her.

“What have you done to my hair?!” Y/N demanded to know the second she caught both boys by the collar of their robes. “Please say this comes out, I don’t want my hair to be yellow and green forever, I hate it!”

“Well you see, Y/N/N,” Fred chuckled with a hint of nervousness. “We don’t know, you’re our first consumer!”

“Fred, I am begging you, I look like a lollipop.”

“I’m sure you taste as sweet as one too, Y/N,” a Slytherin by-passer commented, clearly having heard the entire conversation.

“Shut th-“

“Detention and ten points from Slytherin,”

Fred, George and Y/N shared a terrified look as Professor Snape stood behind the trio.

“Trying a new style are we, Granger? It is quite bold,” despite the blunt words, there was an almost undetectable teasing tone laced in his words.

“Not willingly, Professor,”

“Then why did you do it?”

“They blackmailed me!”

“With what?”

The twins smirked at each other, as though they were sent on a mission to ruin her day.

“She has a crush, Professor,” George smirked at the, now multi-coloured haired, girl.

“George Weasley!” In a swift movement, Y/N rushed towards the ginger, only to be stopped by a hand holding her robe. “Professor let me go!”

“Isn’t she cute, Fred?”

“Adorable, George,”

“I hate you both.” Y/N, who had accepted her fate of being held my Snape (which didn’t seem too bad in all honesty), sighed.

“You love us really,”

“You wish, Fredrick.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“If you three have quite finished,” Snape interrupted their quarrel. “I think I know how to remove that colour from your hair, Miss Granger. Follow me.” There was no room for debate as the potions master turned and rushed towards his classroom.

“I’ll kill you,” Y/N mouthed before rushing after him.

“Sit,” Snape said, lightly kicking a stool out towards Y/N before walking towards a cupboard that, she assumed, had potions or at least ingredients for them.

“Are you sure this will work, Professor? I really don’t want anyone else to see me like this,”

“You mean you don’t want your crush to see you like this?” He said with a raised eyebrow.

“He already has,” her words were a mere murmur, but it was one Severus had heard.

“The Slytherin?” Snape asked whilst he grabbed a weird looking liquid. “Here drink.”

“Merlin, no. I don’t even know who that was. This tastes disgusting,”

“Do you want the colour gone or not?”

“Sorry,”

Snape let out a small sigh, his arms crossing by habit.

“Potter, perhaps?”

“Are we playing guess the crush or something?”

“Well, we have time. This needs a second dose in around thirty minutes,”

Now it was Y/N’s turn to sigh.

“It’s probably not a good idea to play this game with me,” she joked. “I’m quite competitive,”

“You would have done well in Slytherin,”

“I doubt it,”

“Under me you would have done brilliantly. You are doing brilliantly already.”

A bright red blush ran up Y/N’s cheeks at his use of words.

“You should be careful what you say, Professor. Someone might interpret your words wrong,”

“That someone being you?”

“Perhaps,”

“I see.”

An awkward silence filled the air, something that was uncommon between the pair.

“I’m sorry, that was a bit straight-forward,”

“Yeah, it was.”

“Sorry,”

“Don’t be,”

Whilst his reply was short, the words caught her attention, her head spinning to face him.

“Don’t be?”

“I said what I said.” Came his simple response.

“I don’t understand,”

“Maybe little miss favourite should do some thinking,”

“Oh…” She whispered. “Oh! Here I am thinking I’m just a teacher’s pet,”

He smiled slightly. “Not quite, Miss Granger,”

Footsteps echoed throughout the dungeon as he walked towards Y/N, his fingers lightly pushing against her chin to bring her to face him, her cheeks as red as flames.

“So, I’m your little miss favourite?”

“Clearly,”

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smoochkooks · 4 years ago

Text

—chapter four: white lies

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, future smut

word count: 1.5k

summary: it came easy to you to lie. but with every untold truth, you were hurting more on the inside.

previous || next

one year and 6 months ago

April was exceptionally moody that year.

Every day you woke up to either heavy rainfall or a beautiful, cloudless sky. Alternatively, it could also snow for a couple of hours just to have it all vanish once the sun reappeared. As much as you loved Spring, you hated the capricious weather with passion.

It was a normal, peaceful, Saturday afternoon. Saturday meant no classes to attend, no work to do on the side. It was just you in your small, cozy apartment, tucked underneath the blanket and binge-watching Attack On Titan.

You were never an anime enthusiast per se, but you happened to befriend a doe-eyed weeb all those years ago. Your current occupation was just a part of the aftermath. It wasn’t like Jungkook was obsessed, not at all. He was actually far from it. Now, at the tender age of twenty-three, his old hobby was like a relapse. His love for anime was coming in waves every once in a while, gradually transforming into a two-months-long hyperfixation and then, it was nothing. And the cicle continued.

He was currently in the stage of re-watching Attack On Titan, hence why you had been forced to finally give the damned anime a try as well. Hell, he was even coming over tonight to have a marathon with you.

(He’d said that season three, his favourite, you had to watch alongside him.)

You: eren's annoying little shit

Jungkook: told you so

You: but levi? damn I’d sell my soul for him

Jungkook: for a 5’2 emotionally unavailable man?

You: yep. that’s my type

It was far from truth. As much as you liked Captain Levi, he wasn’t Jungkook. You are my type, you wanted to write instead. There hadn’t been a man in my life who managed to even come close to you. But, as always, you kept those confessions to yourself.

Right when you were about to play another episode, your phone buzzed again.

Jungkook: I have a weird question

You: I’m used to that

You: shoot your shot.

Jungkook: what’s your finger size?

Confused, you read his last message once again. That was indeed a weird fucking question to ask, you thought. You had never really been a fan of rings. You only owed one - a gift from your grandmother she gave you for your sixteenth birthday. Rummaging thorough your drawer, you found it in a separate, black case.

It still fit just right, so you took a ruler, measured the size and googled the results.

You: it’s 7.5 I guess

You: why do you ask tho?

Jungkook: I need you to go somewhere with me before our marathon if that’s okay

You: you didn’t answer my question

You: but okay. what time?

Jungkook: ill pick you up at 5pm

Jungkook: you’ll see

Maybe it was for the better he hadn’t told you where he was taking you. If you had know, you would have backed away last minute. Come up with so lame excuse, blame it all on a headache or period cramps.

If you had known Jungkook was taking you to pick up an engagement ring for Soojin, you would have never come with him.

When you parked in front of one of the most high-ranking jewellery stores dowtown, the solemnity of the situation hit you like a whiplash. You took a deep, shuddering breath. Jungkook was thinking about marrying Soojin. Jungkook was going to propose to her, soon. He was ready to spent the rest of his life with her.

Jeon Jungkook, the love of your life, was about to slip out of your reach for good.

You couldn’t cry. Not in front of him. You clenched your fists so tight the knuckles turned white.

“I figured out you could help me,” Jungkook said, breaking the silence and unbuckled his seatbelt. “I checked Soojin's finger size once when she was showering and then I found out that your’s the same and well, you’re a girl so you obviously know more about jewellery than me and–”

“Jungkook,” you cut him off with a dry chuckle. You didn’t want him to speak. You didn’t want to see him. You wanted to jumped off his car and ran away from that place as far as possible. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I get it.”

You smiled at him with reassurance. It was actually hilarious, how you mastered the art of feigning your real feelings when you were with him. It came easy to you to lie but with every untold truth, you were hurting more on the inside.

“I’m here, so you don’t have to worry about chosing something horrible.”

He grinned and you noticed a dust of pink covering the apples his cheeks. It was hard, so fucking hard seeing him happy because that was all you ever wanted and yet it pained you not to be the main source of it. Jungkook was twenty-three and already so in love he wanted to get married. You were going to see him in a black tux, a prince charming waiting in front of the altar for his princess.

It ached. Why did it ache to see him happy?

The lady who worked at the jewellery store greeted you politely with a bow. “What can I do for you?” she asked.

“We are looking for engagement rings.” Jungkook answered.

You could tell she was a bit astounded but her professional smile never faltered when she responded with, “Oh, that’s still quite unusual to see the couple chosing an engagement ring together.”

You were about to protest but then, Jungkook did something you would never expect him to do.

He grasped your hand.

(It was warm. His touch was soothing. Comforting. Then why did it hurt so bad?)

“My girlfriend wants to chose the ring herself but she doesn’t know when she will get it.”

To make matters worse, he sent you a wink. The store’s clerk cooed at the scene and clasped a hand over her chest. For her it was yet another day at work, yet another pair of adults who had decided to get marry.

“You make a really beautiful couple.” she said.

Even Jungkook’s hand squeezing yours couldn’t ease the sting you felt hearing her speak those words to you. You smiled lightly for good measure. She then pointed at the display and gave you some time and space too look at the options.

Your whole face felt hot. Jungkook was still holding your hand, still playing the role of a perfect boyfriend. He didn’t seem to notice what kind of effect it had on you. He didn’t know how fast your heart was beating, how warm his touch felt on your skin. It was all just a silly joke to him.

He leaned closer to you, so the store's clerk couldn’t hear him. His breath tickled your skin. “You’re blushing.” he whispered.

“Shut up.”

He chuckled and let go of your hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

(No matter how much it hurt you on the inside, you already missed his touch.)

“It’s okay. Let’s chose my damned ring, shall we?” you proposed, mustering a nonchalant tone.

Dodging uneasiness with humor always worked out, it seemed.

You felt odd and out of place standing next to him and staring at all those glimmering jewels. In the corner of the eye you saw the lady who worked there glancing at you from time to time and that was when you remembered you were supposed to act like a soon-to-be fiancée.

“They’re all pretty.” you said to Jungkook.

“Which one you like the most then?”

You didn’t have to think long about the answer. The ring with an emerald stone caught your eye from the beginning. It was different than the others, definitely not a standard choice for engagement but something about its peculiarity made you want it to have it shinning on your finger one day.

Except, you weren’t here for yourself. Jungkook wasn’t your boyfriend. You were helping him chose a ring for Soojin. And you knew exactly what she would like.

So you pointed at the number thirty-two. A sparkling, white-gold ring with an oval-shaped diamond.

Jungkook let out a hum. “It’s really pretty, yeah. Excuse me,” he called. “My girlfriend would like to try out this one.”

You ignored the phantom pain you felt as you put the ring on. You flexed your fingers and just for a moment, you pretended it wasn’t a farce your best friend came up with. The diamond shone brightly just like the glimmers of happiness in Jungkook's eyes. He didn’t have to worry about Soojin's answer. He knew it would be thousand times yes.

You were good at pretending. After all, you had been practicing the art of it almost your entire life.

So you drove with Jungkook to your apartment and listened to him babbling about his newest project at work. You made snacks, sat in front of your TV and spent the next couple of hours watching Attack On Titan. You cursed him for spoiling you a few bits of the show and Jungkook, like the petty Virgo he was, reminded you how you accidentally revealed him Little Women's ending because you had read the book years before.

As you laughed and bickered with him, you still remembered about the crimson box tucked in the pocket of his leather jacket, but you didn’t allow yourself to break. Not yet.

It was only when Jungkook fell asleep around 1am that you stepped into the shower and let the tears flow.

And a week later, when the dreaded became real–

Jungkook: she said yes!!!

A white lie was told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

You: I’m so happy for you, Jungkook!

After all, the best you could do was give up your happiness for the sake of his own.

#jungkook smut #btswritingcafe #ksmutclub #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #bts smut #my writing #an ode to a broken heart

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castexpectopatronum · 3 years ago

Text

Liquid Amber - Part V [Remus Lupin x Reader Imagine]

Summary: You had been crushing on Remus Lupin for an eternity when you finally decided to ask him out. However, things do not go as planned and you remain wondering just what exactly is going on with this boy.

notes: reupload because the original got deleated

trigger warnings: none

word count: 2.3k

Masterlist

Time stretched like a package of Droobles Best Chewing Gum. With every glance you took at the clock, its hand seemed to be creeping along even slower, taunting you, torturing you, until the constant ticking was the only thing echoing in your mind.

When the time to meet Remus had finally arrived, it seemed like a miracle to you. You already went to the now empty Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom thirty minutes early because you couldn’t stand the waiting any longer, but you found you weren’t any less nervous there than before. Your heart was thumping, your palms were sweating, the blood was rushing in your ears...

You were sitting on the teacher’s desk, the heels of your feet bumping steadily against the wood as you swung your legs to an unheard rhythm.

Ten to eight.

There was no need for Remus to be as overly punctual as you were.

Nine to eight.

There was still enough time.

Eight to eight.

Words were swirling around in your mind, but you failed spectacularly at putting them in a consistent order. Nothing made sense. Nothing had meaning.

Six to eight.

The heels of your feet were numb from colliding with the desk. You didn’t stop.

Five to eight.

Enough time...

Four to eight.

Was this really such a good idea? Maybe he would get angry. It was his own business, after all.

Three to eight.

No. You had to talk to him. Even if he didn’t want you to interfere in any way, he had the right to know that you knew.

Two to eight.

He was not running late. Not yet.

One to eight.

Not yet.

The clock stroke eight o’clock.

Remus wasn’t there.

At five past eight, you were still patiently waiting. At ten past eight your legs stopped swinging. At twenty past eight you turned your eyes away from the clock. And at half past eight you admitted to yourself that Remus wouldn’t be coming. That he had never planned on coming at all.

You weren’t surprised. In some way, you were actually almost thankful that he had freed you from having this conversation you had been so nervous about the entire day. But for the most part, you were simply disappointed. Yes, you had known better, but hoped for so much more. Hoped for him to at least listen to you. Just this once. This one time when you had so much to say.

You didn’t leave immediately. For a while, you just sat there on the desk, alone with your thoughts. The clock’s hand crept on, its ticking echoing in the dark classroom, wandering from half past eight to twenty to nine to ten to nine, and you were still sitting there in the dark classroom, still hoping for what you knew wouldn’t happen.

You knew it was time to leave. But you couldn’t quite bring yourself to it. Not just yet...

It was almost nine when the door to the classroom suddenly creaked open and a figure stepped in, tall and slender. You lifted your head, not trusting your eyes on what they were seeing.

Remus seemed almost startled to see you there but still he smiled at you. It was a rather forced smile but it was a smile nonetheless. He could have yelled at you for all you cared – he had shown up and that was all that mattered.

Remus closed the door behind him. “I didn’t think you’d still be here,” he admitted and stuffed his hands deep into the pockets of his trousers.

You gave him a weak smile from your place on the desk. “I’m somewhat surprised myself.”

“So...” Remus took a few steps into the room. “You wanted to talk?”

You nodded, so slightly it was almost impossible for him to see in the darkness. “I’m glad you came,” you said quietly.

Remus made an odd motion, a mixture of a shrug and a nod. “I figured I owe you at least that.”

You breathed a laugh. “For turning me down? I told you before, Remus. It’s okay.”

The corner of his mouth curled up in an awkward smile, and his eyes began to flicker around the room to avoid your gaze. You didn’t mind much. You knew he was listening.

“I knew there was something going on with you,” you began. “You seemed so troubled and you were sick so often... I knew something was off and I wanted to help you. But you wouldn’t tell me what was going on, so... I took matters into my own hand.”

Remus furrowed his eyebrows. An alarming look appeared in his eyes, the same look you had seen when you had visited him in the Hospital Wing. It seemed like ages ago.

“I did a lot of research,” you continued. “The amount of books I read... I don’t think anyone in this castle knows more about magical diseases than I do, so if you have questions, I’m your guy.”

Remus didn’t laugh. He stood, still as a statue, and stared at you with a look of pure horror in his eyes he didn’t even bother to hide.

You let out a quiet sigh. “I know, Remus.”

For a moment, there was dead silence. Then-

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Remus-”

“No.”

He turned on his heel and was halfway through the classroom when you said, “Remus, please.”

To your surprise, he stopped, almost at the door, but he didn’t turn around. You heard his sharp breaths and the ticking of the clock on the wall.

“How long have you known?”

“A few days,” you answered. “Maybe a week.”

His shoulders had dropped defeatedly. His head was lowered; he was staring at the ground. You wished you could have been able to see his face but he still had his back turned towards you.

“Is that why you’ve ordered me here?“ he suddenly asked in a hoarse voice. “To tell me you know what I am? To tell me I’m a monster?”

Your head snatched up; a deep frown appeared on your face and you jumped from the desk. Without delay you walked straight through the classroom, stepping around Remus so you were able to face him.

His gaze was still lowered to the floor; he was fixing the stone with his eyes, refusing to look at you.

But you looked at him.

“You’re not the monster, Remus,” you said firmly. “You’re the victim.”

Remus blinked and raised his head. For a moment, there was only the look of confusion on his face. “W-What?”

You smiled softly. “You heard me. Stop putting yourself down for something that isn’t your fault.”

Remus breathed a bitter laugh and looked away. A muscle in his jaw jumped as he clenched his teeth. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I’ve done my research, Remus,“ you said. “The wolf is a part of you. But it’s not you.”

Remus’ entire body was shaking although he was wearing both his jumper and robes, and his chest was rising and falling heavily.

“I’ve ’ordered’ you here to tell you I know you’re a werewolf,” you continued, your voice remaining firm even when you saw Remus flinching at the word. “And to tell you it doesn’t change a thing.”

Remus’ eyes were fixed on your own. Your heart raced as you looked at him and you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and tell him everything would be okay. But you knew he would just run off again like he always did.

“You... You don’t think I’m a-” He halted, forcing the words to come out of his mouth. “I’m a-”

“Monster?” You smiled bitterly. “No. No, I don’t.”

You hadn’t felt like lighting the room when you had entered, so there was not even candlelight to enlighten it. Remus’ face was hidden in the shadows; only because you were standing so close to each other could you make out his expression. His eyes were grazing over your face, a frown on his face. He looked like he didn’t know what to say. Or even think.

“I told you I wanted to help you,” you whispered and took a step closer. Remus gulped, but he didn’t turn away from you. “But I can only help you if you’ll let me.”

“You can’t help me,” he muttered.

“I refuse to accept that,” you said.

Remus breathed a laugh. “You’re a persistent one, aren’t you?”

“You’re saying that as though it was something bad,” you replied with twinkling eyes.

The corner of his mouth twitched. “I suppose it depends on the person.”

„I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Remus chuckled. Then, his expression turned more solemn again. “Are you... Do you really...”

He found himself unable to finish the question, but he didn’t have to for you to understand.

“Yes, I do,” you said with a gentle smile. “Remember what I told you back in the Hospital Wing?” Remus cocked his head slightly to the side. “I told you whatever it was that you were going through, it could never change my opinion on you. And I was right, wasn’t I? I still feel the same way about you I did all those weeks ago.”

A smile had appeared on Remus’ face but when you spoke the last part of your sentence, he suddenly furrowed his eyebrows. “Feel?”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you realised your mistake. “Think,” you said quickly. “I meant ... think.”

“(Y/N)...”

“It doesn’t matter, really...”

But suddenly, Remus had bent down and kissed you. It wasn’t more than a light touch of your lips, but it was enough to make your heart stop in your chest.

After only a moment, Remus pulled back, though, slowly, his mouth slightly agape. You stared at him with wide eyes as he straightened up again, seemingly startled by what he had just done.

“I’m – I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Remus-”

“I should’ve asked you first-”

“Remus!”

Remus fell silent. His chest was rising and falling heavily as he stared down at you. You still couldn’t see his face, but you were sure a blush was rising to his cheeks.

A smile spread out on your face as you slowly stepped forward, your hand lying on his chest, causing him to walk backwards until he stumbled against his desk and sat down.

For a moment, you simply took him in, biting your lip as you did and smiling to yourself. Remus’ brown hair was falling into his forehead and his soft eyes were gazing into your own, flickered from your eyes to your lips and back to your eyes. Your smile widened as you slowly leaned it, your face inching towards his.

Remus still had the time to stop you if he wanted to. But he didn’t. He sat there and waited, his breath going faster each moment. He licked his lips nervously; your breath mingled with his, your heart thumped in your chest, your noses brushed...

And then, your lips touched.

It was soft, at first, light as a feather. Your lips carefully moved against each other, testing, exploring, only slowly daring to go further. You heart was doing cartwheels in your chest as your fingers moved up his thighs and his own, big hands snuck around your waist to pull you closer. You tilted your head slightly to the side, your lips moved faster, the kiss became deeper; Remus arms were now hugging your back, pressing you as close as possible while yours were tightly wrapped around his neck, one hand entangled in his soft, thick hair. You two were clinging to each other as though you were drowning, the kiss becoming deeper and more desperate with each moment.

Only when you were in need of air did you break this kiss. But you didn’t let go of each other. Breathing heavily, you stared into each other’s eyes and then leaned forwards to rest your foreheads against each other.

Suddenly, you breathed a laugh. “Wow.”

Remus chuckled. “Yeah. Wow.”

You grinned. “This conversation turned out better than I expected.”

A smile appeared on Remus’ face. “I must say I haven’t expected that either.”

“So... that thing that we do, that we don’t talk to each other... I take it that’s over now?” you asked, seemingly casual, but your stomach tightly knotted together.

A shadow flickered over Remus’ face.

Your fingers strocked his neck, kept him in place. “Let me help you, Remus. Please.”

But Remus let go of you. He loosened your grip around his neck and let out a deep breath as he lowered your hands, intertwining your fingers. Then, he pressed a soft kiss to your hand.

“There’s only so much you can do,” he whispered against your fingers. “But if that’s truly what you want.”

“It is,” you breathed. “I care about you, Remus. A lot. And I want to help you.”

“Why?”

You lifted your gaze. Remus was looking at you with such vulnerability in his soft eyes that it took your breath away. “Because you’re a good person, Remus. And I really, really like you. Like, my-heart-stops-beating-every-time-you-walk-by-and-I-want-to-take-you-out-for-dinner-kind of like.”

Remus let out a shaky breath. He was silent for such a long time that you began to fear you had overstepped your boundaries. But then, he said “I’d also like to take you out for dinner.”

You laughed. Your knees turned weak with relief. “That sounds like a plan,” you whispered, a smile playing at your lips, and leaned in to kiss him once more; a kiss which Remus was more than happy to return.

Turned out Remus did like you, after all.

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #marauders imagine #marauders era imagine #liquid amber #part v

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unloved-cadillac · 4 years ago

Text

So Much For Your Happy Ending. (Levi x Reader)

Summary: a soulmate au where you have matching tattoos that moves around your body.

C/n: let me know how you guys are. I miss you.

Eighteen years old.

That’s when everybody gets their tattoo. Nobody knows exactly how it happens, but all they know is that at the time that you were born on your eighteenth birthday, a beautiful tattoo will form on your left forearm then it will begin to move around your body.

It’s fun sometimes because you could wake up in the morning and see your tattoo plastered on your face, or on your butt cheek. Very odd but fun nonetheless.

You had a blue wing that flapped and “flew” around your body. Your friends always enjoyed watching yours more than their own because yours seemed to listen to you.

“Tell it fly again.” Niccolo says as he looks at the wing, which was currently on your hand. “Okay,” you look at the wing, “fly.” You whisper and it flutters and moves up your arm. “Oooo.” Your friends say in awe of your tattoo. “You got such a cool one, Y/n. I got stuck with a potato. A potato! What the fuck?! I mean, I love cooking, sure. But you would think I’d get a knife or something.” Niccolo says as he drinks his soda. “Oh, Nic. Calm down. You’ll find her soon.” You pat Niccolo’s shoulder and he smiles. “How the hell did that dipshit find his soulmate so quickly? We aren’t even 21 yet.” Niccolo motions to Eren who was sitting with his girlfriend, feeding her fries.

“Well, you have to understand that they have been friends since childhood. They both turned 18 and had the same tattoos. It was sweet actually.” You say and he scoffs. “Cheer up, Nic! Maybe potato girl will show up soon.” Yelena wraps her arms around his shoulders. “But a potato! Seriously?!”

Everyone laughs and you get back to looking at your tattoo. It seemed to twitch every now and then which made you a bit worried because it never did that. But you spoke to it when you were alone. Telling it that wherever that your soulmate was, that you already love them and to be safe. That seemed to calm it down but the worry still hid behind your mind.

Recently, all you have been feeling was sick. Your leg and hands always hurt and you had consistent headaches. It only began a week ago and you even went to the doctors but they couldn’t give a diagnosis. You tried drinking water and pills but it didn’t help.

You decided to try and ignore it, figuring it was probably stress from all the assignments you had, and carried on with your life.

It was a month after your aches and pains began and you were lying in your bed texting your friends. Apparently, Niccolo finally found his soulmate. Her name was Sasha and she loved potatoes.

- Y: When are we meeting her?

- N: soon. How’s tomorrow?

- Y: sounds good. Y/n?

- You: yeah. Perfect.

You turn your phone off and lay down. Your tattoo began to flinch again and, maybe your mind was playing tricks on you, but it seemed like it’s royal blue color began to fade. You shook your head and fell asleep.

~~~~

‘Is he okay?’

‘No. He’s in critical condition. The car slammed into him and he raptured his whole left ribs and it pierced his internal organs. One being his heart.’

‘Oh my god. What now? Can you save him?’

‘We have to wait and see. We removed the bits and pieces but it was pierced too far in.’

The friends and family sat down and a blond boy held his mother as she cried. He looked down on his brother who had an oxygen tube in his mouth and bandages around him.

His tattoo beginning to fade.

~~~~

“Ladies, this is Sasha. Sasha, these are my two girls who I’ve known since kindergarten. Yelena and Y/n.” Niccolo introduces the two of you to the smiling brunette and she hugged you. “It’s so lovely to meet you.” She says and Yelena laughs. “Lovely to meet you too, Sasha. Are you hungry?” Yelena asks and Sasha’s eyes brighten up. “Always. Niccolo cooked me some his favorite dishes and it was amazing. I heard there’s a really cool restaurant on this side of town.” Sasha says and you nod. “Yeah. It has one, if not the best, seafood. Shall we?” You motion for all of them to walk and the four of you go to the restaurant.

Niccolo walked in front with Sasha while Yelena walked with you behind them. “You okay?” Yelena asks you as you look at your tattoo. “I don’t know. I feel..off? I don’t know. Something’s wrong.”

“Is it your soulmate?”

You shrug your shoulders and Yelena places her hand on your head. “Your temp is a bit high. Have something cold when we get to the restaurant.” You nod and Yelena hugs your shoulders. “It’ll be okay.”

In the restaurant, which was way more exquisite and classy than you thought it was, the four of you say and ordered. Niccolo insisted on getting only the best for Sasha since she had to leave in two days.

“What are you studying, Sasha?” You ask as you sip your water. “I’m majoring in art. I wanted to become a chef but the odds were always against me. Figures since this one is studying to be one.” She nudges Niccolo who had a faint blush on. “Let‘s see your tattoos.” Yelena says and they both show their forearms.

The potato’s both had flowers on it. Sasha’s were green, Niccolo’s favorite color, and Niccolo’s had red, Sasha’s favorite. “I read an article saying that when you meet your soulmate, it grows flowers and doesn’t move anymore. But the flowers thing isn’t consistent with everyone.” Niccolo says and looks at the two of you. “Ah. Nice.” Yelena says and you nod.

“Let’s see yours!” Sasha says and you roll up your sleeve and Yelena shows her arm. She had a butterfly, but it’s wings were multi colored. “That’s so beautiful, Yelena.” Sasha compliments her and Yelena smiles. “I bet my soulmate is so beautiful. And calm. Like a butterfly.” Yelena gets lost in thought and Niccolo slaps her hand. “Ow!” “Snap out of it.” He jokes and she shows her tongue at him.

“What about yours, Y/n?”

You look on your left arm to see it still twitching and flinching and when you show Sasha, her head tilts. It’s quiet and then she gasps softly. “What?” You ask and she looks up at you, with a shock. “Y/n, have you been feeling sick or like, aching everywhere?” Sasha asks and you nod. “Yeah. Why?”

Sasha scratches her head and looks at Niccolo like she was about to cry. “Honey, what’s wrong?” He cups her cheek and then she looks at you. “Y/n. I have a friend. He was in a terrible car accident a few days ago. He’s tattoo was a blue wing just like yours on his arm.” She points to yours and you gasp. “Levi is a great guy. But the accident..it was so bad. The doctors don’t think he’ll make it.” She whispers and you wake up suddenly. “No. H-How? I, this can’t be real. Where is he, Sasha? Which hospital?” You ask and she tells you the hospital is in the middle of town.

You didn’t wait. You ran outside the restaurant straight to a taxi. You told the driver your destination and your phone rings. “Yeah?” You answer not looking at the caller ID. “Y/n. His name is Levi Ackerman. Ask for that name. I’ll meet you there.” Yelena tells you and you cut the call.

Few minutes passed and you finally went to the hospital. Your body became numb all of a sudden. You took whatever strength you could and rant o the receptionist. “L-Levi Ackerman. I need to see him. What room is he in?” You ask and the lady asks who you are and if you’re family.

“I-I’M HIS SOULMATE! Please let me see him!”

When she told you the room, you ran to it. You started to burn and ache but finally, after flights of stairs, you made it to him.

Some people stood outside the room and you sniff as your tears started to fall. A lady with glasses approached you.

“Who are you?” She asks, her voice coarse and rough. “I’m Y/n L/n. I’m here for Levi Ackerman.”

The lady nods and looks at your neck when her eyes widen. “Your tattoo...you’re his..?” She asks softly and you nod. Another boy comes out of the room and his eyes land on you. Suddenly, a pain shoots through your body, especially your left side and you fall to the floor clutching your chest.

“Please. L-Let me see him.” You breathe out and Hange helps you up. When the boy and her take you to Levi, you felt your heart stop.

An older woman cried as she held the unconscious man’s hand and the sound of a beep filled the room. You looked at him and stood next to him as you tried to understand what the hell is happening.

The Doctor comes rushing in, pushing everyone aside and begins to perform CPR on Levi but unfortunately, it was too late. The woman looked at you while you stared at your tattoo.

It was gone.

It had turned into ash and fell off of your body and you looked up to see Levi. You slowly made your way, on stumbling feet, and sat next to him.

Your eyes searched his body and you just saw his royal blue wing fade and disappear. Your eyes widen and you couldn’t help but cry. “No..” you whisper as you hold his hand.

“No. No this can’t be real. We didn’t even meet yet! I didn’t hear your voice yet! I didn’t see your eyes! Levi! You can’t leave me so soon! Please! I didn’t even get to tell you that I love you. We didn’t get to have a date! Please! Come back!”

You cry as you rest your head on his chest, praying you will hear his heartbeat. He was still warm. He felt like home already. You meant to be in his arms. But not like this. Not when he didn’t wrap them around you. Not without him kissing your head and telling you that he loved you. Not like this.

You hugged him for one last time before waking up and looking at his face. Even though he had so much of bruises and scars, he was so handsome. His black hair and pink lips. Even though they were bruised, you still leaned up and laid a gentle kiss on them.

“I love you.”

The nurses came and took Levi away and you left standing there while the older woman looked at you. “Excuse me?” She calls and you look at her. “I’m Levi’s mother, Kuchel. I heard you said that you didn’t meet him yet?” She asks and you nod. Her eyes swell up with tears. “Oh, sweetheart.” She brings you in for a hug as you both cried in each other’s embrace.

Yelena, Niccolo and Sasha were there too. And it sucked that they had to see you like this. Sasha saw Connie, Jean and Hange and introduced Niccolo and Yelena to them. “Y/n just lost her soulmate, didn’t she?” Niccolo asks and they nod. “It was no use. He slipped into a comma and the injuries were far to lethal. It all happened so fast.” Jean whispers as he looks at you and Kuchel speak.

Later that night, you sat against your bedroom window and looked out at the sky. The night sky had no stars and it was pitch black. It’s like the world new that you had just lost your other half and decided to mourn with you.

Not everyone got to meet their soulmate. And that was the harsh reality that you had to live with.

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

#levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #captain levi #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #aot fanfiction #levi heichou #aot x reader #snk fanfiction #snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #captain levi fanfiction #levi ackerman fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years ago

Text

Love and Medicine ~ 6

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,710ish

Summary: Val throws a party. You remember the date.

Warning: talk of sex / I do not own Marvel or Grey’s Anatomy.

The morning came and you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling. You really wanted to go meet Steve for breakfast, but you knew you probably shouldn’t. With a heavy sigh, you turned over to look at your bedside clock. There was 30 minutes until it was time to meet Steve. You could make it in time, if you went. You also had the day off so if you didn’t go, you wouldn’t run in to Steve today anyway.

After another five minutes of debating, you heaved yourself up and hurried into your bathroom. You got ready quickly, not going too overboard with trying to impress him. As you ran down the stairs, you shoved Clint out of the way.

“Woah!” He exclaimed. “What’s the rush?”

“Sorry, Clint!” You replied, not stopping. “I gotta go!”

When you finally got to the cafe, you were a few minutes late and Steve was already at an outside table. You noticed that he looked a little nervous. He was sketching in a notebook, knee bouncing under the table.

“Is this seat taken?” You asked, having walked quietly up to the table.

Steve’s head snapped up. He looked a little surprised and relieved to see you standing there. “Uh, no,” he smiled. He motioned to the seat across from him. “Be my guest.”

“Thank you,” you pulled out your chair and sat down. He handed you the menu. You took it before looking at the notebook on the table. There was a sketch of you on the open page. “Wow. Did you draw that?”

Steve quickly shut the book and set it in his lap. “You weren’t suppose to see that. Not yet, anyway.”

“Well, it was really good.”

“Thank you.”

“Why didn’t you go into art?”

“Doesn’t pay the bills. Plus, brains are more fun.”

You laughed. “I guess so.”

The two of you order food and sat there for a few hours talking. It was mostly him asking about you and you telling him extremely long stories. You had just finished one about you and your parents that left him laughing.

“You’re parents sound amazing,” Steve said, finishing off his laugh. “I would love to meet them some day.”

You stopped, immediately looking sad. Just the thought of your parents caused you to remember something. The date. It would be the first anniversary of their deaths in two days.

“Y/N?” Steve broke you out of your trace. You looked at him, a furrowed brow and worried eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I… I should go,” you stood, scraping your chair against the ground as you did. Steve quickly stood up as well, surprised at your sudden need to leave. “I really need to go.”

You hurried out of the cafe’s fenced on section. You didn’t make it much farther before Steve’s large hand was around your bicep, stopping you.

“You’re surprising fast,” he tried to joke. You clearly weren’t having it. “What’s the rush?” He tried to study your eyes, they looked pained. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ll see you at work, Steve. Please.” You tugged away from him. “I have to go.”

He stood there, watching, as you hurried off to your car and drove into traffic.

~~~

You went straight to the hospital, willingly taking someone’s shift to get your mind off everything. You did not want to remember it and you definitely didn’t want to drown yourself in grief. You were going to work it off.

By the time your intern friends got to the hospital, you had been there for 20 hours. You ate and caught sleep when you could but it was never very much. Valkyrie immediately came up to you and told you about a party she wanted to throw for her girlfriend that was coming into town. You agreed to it, absentmindedly since you were so tired, on the condition that it wouldn’t be very big.

Before you knew it, the day of the anniversary arrived, and you were doing everything possible to avoid thinking about it. Thankfully, you hadn’t seen Steve since you hurried away. You really didn’t want to explain it all to him. It was early morning when Dr. Banner pulled you into a surgery. You were holding the heart as he worked, with your fellow interns watching from the gallery.

“I wish I could hold a heart,” Scott whined.

“A monkey could hold a heart,” Natasha responded.

“You’re just mad that Banner didn’t ask you.”

“Has anyone noticed that Y/N’s been acting strange lately?” Clint asked, eyes trained on you below. “Like, more than usual.”

“I haven’t,” Natasha shrugged.

“She’s probably just having a bad day,” Scott said.

“Clint!” Val came into the gallery. “I need more ice and chips.”

“Who else did you invite, Val?” He asked.

“Val, we said the list was jocks only. Surgery, Trauma, Plastics.”

“I invited a few of the people from Peds.”

“Great!” Natasha scoffed. “You invited the kindergarteners to Y/N’s place. The next thing you’ll say is that you invited the shrinks.” Val winced. “You invited the mental defects? This party’s going to suck.”

“You know that Y/N thinks this is just going to be a little, small, meet-your-girlfriend cocktail thing, right?” Clint questioned.

“Yes. I’ll tell her the change in plans though. I promise.”

“Why are you wasting the only weekend your girlfriend is in town on a big party?” Natasha asked. “Is she bad in bed?”

“No,” Val chuckled. “I just want her to meet some of my friends.”

“Right. Sixty some odd geeks in scrubs are your friends.” Her pager went off, causing her to look at it and get up to leave. “Bad sex, sucks for you.”

“Did I hear correctly that there’s a party at Y/N’s house tonight?” Peter asked, leaning against the doorway.

“Oh really, a party?” Natasha responded, playing down.

“Uh, news to me,” Scott added.

“Yeah, no party,” Clint said.

~~~

The surgery was long, but amazing. Though it still didn’t help get your mind off the day.

“Hey,” Steve greeted, coming up beside you as you headed to the elevator. “I heard you did a CABG with Banner.”

“Yeah,” you responded.

“Did you get to hold the heart?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s an amazing feeling. You never forget your first time.”

“It was pretty great just to watch,” Clint said, sliding in between the two of you. “Vicarious thrills, you know?”

“Yeah,” you replied again, too caught up in your mind to do anything else.

The elevator dinged and you and Clint walked on. You turned around to see Steve, still standing outside the elevator, looking concerned.

“I’ll see you later,” he commented, the furrow of his brow never changing.

“Bye,” you responded as the doors shut. Clint was leaning back against the wall, watching you. It was eerily silent until you finally spoke. “My parents died a year ago today,” it was a whisper.

“What?” Clint stood up straight, coming towards you. “How—“

“They were driving in a canyon. The road was icy…. Dad lost control of the car… it dove off the cliff.”

“Oh my goodness. Y/N, I am so sorry.”

“I’ve never told anyone what happened before.” A single tear slipped down your cheek. “My parents… they were famous surgeons. I… I changed my last name after they died.”

“Y/N, who were they?” The elevator doors opened.

“I’ve got to go.”

You rushed out, quickly disappearing in the crowd of doctors and nurses before Clint could follow you. You weren’t watching were you were going, in search for an on call room to break in. You rammed into someone, stumbling back. The person’s hands quickly landed on your biceps, holding you steady.

“Woah there,” Dr. Stark chuckled. “What’s the rush?”

You looked up, teary eyed and embarrassed. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Stark,” you rushed out. “Let me just—“

“Now, hold on a damn minute.” He got a good look at your face, there was clearly something wrong. “What’s going on?”

“Dr. Stark, I really don’t think—“

“Here.” He pulled you into an empty on call room. “Talk.”

“Dr. Stark, this isn’t appropriate.”

“Neither are the giant heart eyes my friend Steve has every time you walk by. You’re clearly upset, and I want to help. I was also friends with your parents.”

“What?”

“You’re parents are the reason I’m alive. I had an accident a few years back, shrapnel too close to my heart. They saved me. So, I owe it to them to watch over you.”

“You really don’t, Dr. Stark.”

“The name’s Tony.”

“Tony. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know what today is. I’ve been dreading this day for a week now. I can only imagine how you must be feeling.” You looked up, trying to blink away the tears. “Did you change your name because of the accident?”

“I couldn’t stand the thought of living in my dead parents shadows… it was too much.”

“Understood… does Steve know?”

“No.”

“You should tell him.”

“I don’t want people to know.”

“Yeah, but Steve isn’t people, is he?” You didn’t answer so Tony sighed. “Look, I have no right to tell you who you tell or don’t tell. But… Steve’s a good person. He’s been through his far share of struggles. He’d be just willing to listen, if that’s all you wanted.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Tony.”

“Anytime.” He walked to the door, opening it to head out. “Oh and, by the way,” he turned to look at you, “I’m totally rooting for the two of you.”

~~~

Natasha was standing at a nurses station, filling out some paperwork, when a cup of coffee was set beside her. She glanced over to see Dr. Banner, sipping his own cup, looking back at her.

“Just coffee,” he said with a nervous smile.

Natasha looked confused. “Good,” she responded.

“Okay.”

Bruce gave her a nod before walking away. Closing what she was doing, Natasha hesitated before picking up the coffee and drinking it. Unknown to her, Bruce and Tony were peeking around the corner and watching her. Hiding back behind the corner, they high fived.

“Look at what taking my advice can do, Bruce,” Tony exclaimed.

“Alright, alright,” Bruce agreed. “Maybe I should listen a little more often.”

“Damn right you should.”

“Dr. Stark,” Dr. Potts called, heading towards the nurses station. “Please watch your language around the patients.” She began filling out a chart.

“My deepest apologies, Dr. Potts. We were just celebrating victory.” She still did not look impressed. “You know what would be even more worth celebrating? You, finally accepting a date from me.”

“Okay,” she replied, not bothering to look up.

“You’ve given me that excuse before, and it hasn’t stopped me— wait… did you just agree?”

“I did.” She handed over the chart to the nurse before facing Tony. “I’m only free Friday night. Will that work?”

“Um… yeah…”

“Pick me up in the lobby at 7.” Then Pepper strutted away.

“Look at you go, Tony,” Bruce laughed, putting an arm over his friends shoulders. “She finally said yes.”

“Yeah, and I have 3 surgeries and a meeting with the chief Friday night.”

Bruce grimaced. “Well, you’ll either have to cancel everything or just wine and dine her over a boob job.”

“I’m definitely going to need it covered.”

~~~

After your talk with Tony, you focused on helping a few patients. You were getting a file from the nurses station to help your next one when Steve walked up to you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, still concerned.

“Yeah, yeah,” you responded. “I’m good.”

“Are you sure? Cause you seem not okay.”

“I’m fine. The CABG was just long.”

“Well, let me take you out to dinner tonight. You can tell me all about it. Real food, waiters, big chunks of carbs in a basket.”

“I can’t.”

“Forget about the party.”

“You know about the party?”

“Your friends will be at the party. You and I can be alone somewhere else.”

“How do you know about the party?”

“Thanks for not inviting me, by the way. That felt good.”

“I didn’t— it’s supposed to be a small get together. Nothing big.”

“Sure doesn’t sound that way to me. Anyway, dinner. Think about dinner.” His pager went off. He looked down at it before looking back at you. “I’ve got to go. But, think about it.”

~~~

Natasha, Clint, and Scott were sitting in the abandoned hallway as Val walked in.

“Okay, so the beer’s coming at 7,” she told them all. “And some of the floor nurses are bringing wine.”

“You invited nurses?” Natasha asked.

“Did you clear this with Y/N?” Scott asked.

“A few more people isn’t going to make a different. Okay? A party’s a party.”

“But it will,” Clint said. “She’s having a day.”

“And the bigger the party, the less time for bad sex with the girlfriend,” Natasha added.

“Would you stop saying that?” Val was getting annoyed. “Britt and I have great sex.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“All the time.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“In fact, we’ll probably have sex during and after the party.”

“As long as you clear the party with Y/N,” Clint cut in.

“Britt just needs to realize that doctors can have fun. That we’re not all workaholics with god complexes.”

“We are workaholics with god complexes.”

“Just please tell tell Y/N before the party,” Clint continued. “Just… please.”

~~~

Having a few moments to breathe, you sat in the lobby, staring out the window. You were flipping your cell phone in your hand. The few people left who knew you and what day it was had kept trying to call you, leaving long, saddened voicemails and texts. You were ignoring all of it, not wanting to try and make the others feel better when it was your day to be off.

“Hey,” Steve plopped down in the chair next to you. “I heard.”

“You heard what?” You were immediately scared about what he could have heard.

“That you and Tony had a talk.”

“Oh… did he tell you what we talked about?”

“No. He just told me that I should talk to you and let you have the day to not be okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not. But that’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head and stood up from your chair. “We’re adults,” you started walking backwards so you could still face him. “When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?”

Steve stood up. “Y/N—“

“I’ll see you later, Dr. Rogers.”

You took your leaving, heading straight for the locker room. You had decided that you were heading to the cemetery, or to the bar across the street. It was time for you to head anyway.

~~~

“You paged me?” Clint questioned Val as he walked up to her.

“I’m gonna be a while,” she responded. “Do you think you could get home and sign for the beer?”

“Why don’t you have your girlfriend sign for it?” Peter asked, randomly showing up.

“You have a very annoying way of sneaking up on people. And you’re not invited.”

“I wouldn't come anyway. I hate big parties.”

“Is Y/N the only person in the medical center who doesn’t know the size of this thing?” Clint asked.

“I’m telling her,” Val said. “I’ll page her now.”

“You can’t,” Natasha said, walking up. “She’s gone already.”

“What? Already?”

“She’s been here for almost 48 hours. It was time for her to go.”

“You don’t think Y/N’s really going to mind about the party, right?”

“When you tell her, I want you to make it very clear to her that I had nothing to do with this party,” Clint responded. “Nothing.”

“Why? Do you—you like her!”

“N-no!”

“And not just as a roommate!”

“I’ve got to go.”

~~~

You decided to drive around instead of going to the cemetery or the bar. You headed to your house, knowing you’re late for the party. As you drove up, there were cars lining the street and lots of people heading into your house.

“Val, I’m going to kill you,” you murmured.

After finally finding somewhere to park, you walked into the house. There were people everywhere, and you didn’t recognize any of them. It was clear, as you walked through the crowd, that most of them were already drunk. The music was making the walls shake. Eventually, and thankfully, you found Clint.

“Where is Val?!” You shouted.

“She didn’t clear it with you?” Clint responded, holding a bottle of tequila.

“This was supposed to be a meet-the-girlfriend get together little thing!”

“Val has a lot of friends.”

“Val definitely doesn’t know this many people.”

“I told her to clear it with you.”

“I really can’t handle this right now.”

“You want me to kick everyone out? I’m gonna kick everyone out.”

“Y/N, baby! You made it!” A drunk Natasha exclaimed, dancing up to them. “Woo!”

“Screw it,” you gave in. “Give me this.”

You ripped the tequila bootle from Clint’s hand and took a big swig of it. It burned but you didn’t care. You started dancing with Natasha. Clint soon joined the two of you. After the three of you were more drunk, you escaped into one of the empty side rooms.

“Why did we want to be surgeons anyway?” You wondered, laying on the floor.

“Surgery is a very serious business,” Clint responded before letting out a burp.

“Surgery is stupid. It’s stupid…. It’s stupid.” You took another long sip of a drink.

“Give me that,” Natasha took your drink from you. “You’re drunk.”

“I'm not driving. I'm not on call. I'm in my own house. My life is crap. And it's my party and I'll get drunk if I want to.”

Suddenly, a beautiful blond woman peeked her head in. “Is, um, Val here?” She asked.

“Oh, you must be Britt,” Natasha laughed, standing up. “You’re very model-like. And, no, Val’s not here right now.” She stumbled passed Britt and out of the room.

“You and Valkyrie are very beautiful,” Clint stated.

“Val said she was going to be at home,” Britt said, clearly uncomfortable as she looked around. “She didn’t say there was going to be a party.”

“Which, I promise you, pisses both of us off,” you slurred. “Tequila?” You lifted the bottle up. “It helps.”

“When do you think she’s gonna get here?”

“Don’t know. But… I do know I’m low on tequila, Britt.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. We’re interns, Britt. The hospital owns us. It’s what we do.”

Britt gave a fake smile before leaving.

“Bye!” Clint shouted after her.

“Nice to meet ya!” You added. “She was hot.”

~~~

Not too long later, you ended up in the front of your house, swaying drunkenly. Steve was out front too, hands stuffed in his pockets as he leaned against his car and watched you.

“You know,” he called out, bringing your attention to him, “in some states, you could get arrested for that.” You headed towards him. “So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila. Tequila’s no good for ya. It doesn’t call, doesn’t text. It doesn’t write. And it definitely isn’t as much fun to wake up to.”

You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pulled him in for a kiss, which he definitely wasn’t refusing.

“Take me for a ride, Steve,” you whispered.

Holding onto your waist, he opened the passenger seat car door. He sat down before pulling you onto him and shutting the door. You straddled him, kissing down his neck as he leaned back the seat. Your hands soon found the way to his shirt. Tugging at the ends, he got the hint and took it off. You lost your breath for a moment. You had seen him before but you had forgotten how gorgeous the man beneath you actually was.

“What’s wrong, doll?” He asked, softly caressing your cheek.

“Nothing,” you responded. “I just…” You trailed off before kissing him again, this time getting more heated.

~~~

After a good round of sex, even from the passenger seat, Steve pulled his shirt over your shoulders.

“You know…” he started as you leaned in and kissed his bare shoulder, “it sounds like the party’s winding down.” You slowly started trailing kisses up his neck. “Listen to me,” he laughed, pushing you to sit up. “We should probably sneak inside.”

“I actually think we’ve done enough sneaking for the night,” you replied. “It was good sneaking, but enough.”

“Yeah,” he smiled, “I’d say we’re pretty good sneakers.”

He pulled you down for a kiss. You were quickly interrupted by a tapping on your window. As you hurried and separated, you saw that it was Gamora.

“You mind moving this tail wagon?” She asked, clearly annoyed. “You’re blocking me in.”

“Apparently not good enough,” Steve said as you groaned and rested your head on Steve’s shoulders.

“I’m so fired,” you muttered.

~~~

You woke up in the morning with a splintering headache and a trashed house. You couldn’t deal with either immediately though as you were going to be late to work. Going downstairs with Scott and Clint, Val walked into the house.

“Holy mother of destruction,” she exclaimed, looking around.

“You missed doctor-palooza,” you responded, heading to the kitchen to find something to eat.

“Apparently, you all didn’t.” She observed the tiredness of the three of you.

“I should probably never speak to you again.”

“Ugh, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I had no idea it was going to get so—“

“It’s fine. Really, I don’t care. What would I be doing anyway?” Clint handed you a bottle of water before him and Clint headed out of the house, with you following. “I’m not cleaning this up though!”

~~~

Natasha was walking down the hall when she noticed a tired Doctor Banner enter an on call room. She slipped in, locking the door behind her. Bruce looked up, having already taken off his shoes and shirt.

“Thanks for the coffee,” Natasha said.

Getting a surge of confidence, Bruce walked over and kissed her. Beginning to kiss more passionately, they undressed each other.

“You’re welcome,” Bruce mumbled.

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#steve rogers x reader #tony stark x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #valkyrie x reader #clint barton x reader #scott lang x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #peter quill x reader #pepper potts x reader #bruce banner x reader

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misskatebishop · 3 years ago

Text

Make my messes matter

Word count: 2090

Pairing: Steve x Tony

Warning: Hurt/Comfort.

Summary: Tony has a bad day at home and Steve comforts him.

Tony rests his head against the cold metal, holding tightly his bag against his chest. He closes his eyes while the music fills his surroundings. It’s almost midnight and he has nowhere to go. Nowhere to sleep. Tony feels the tears prick his eyes, biting his lower lip to not allow a sob to come out. He’ll not cry. Not anymore.

He didn’t do anything wrong, but Howard never believes him. Not surprising, though. Yet, being kicked out of the house wasn’t something he was expecting. Of course, he had plans to move out from his parents long ago, but he’d never put them in order. He hoped that he would have more time. More time to build and secure life for himself. A life where he wouldn’t need Howard’s money to survive. But at 18, life isn’t what anyone expects it to be.

It’s a funny and ironic story that he wanted to grow up when he was a kid, and now he wishes he was a kid again. He wishes he didn’t have to worry so much or feel so overwhelmed at such a young age. But he’s Tony Stark and people expect better of him. They expect too much when all Tony wants is to work on his own projects. He wasn’t ready to assume a high post in his father’s company. Not yet. There was so much he wanted to do.

So many places to go. So many things to see, to listen to, to touch, to know. He didn’t want to spend his life in an office, barking orders around, filing paperwork. He wanted so much more to himself. Of course, Howard couldn’t see it that way. He said he was tired of Tony’s excuses to assume his place in the world, he was tired of having supported him his entire life, just for Tony to refuse when he’s offered the post of director in the R&D department. In fact, he’s tired of Tony. He’s been tired of his son long ago. And Tony was tired of living from crumbs. Crumbs of love. That’s not what life is supposed to be.

After Maria’s death, things just got worse. Howard became a constant burden on his shoulders, always asking and demanding more of him. As if he could never be enough. As if Howard had fed him his entire life just to reap the fruits of his work now. As if Tony owes him an entire life and that he should be paying back now. Tony couldn’t see an exit to himself. He couldn’t see a light out of that. He felt like a bird constantly locked in a cage. Unable to sing his beauty. To become what he was born to: fly freely. Spreading beauty in the world.

But Howard could never understand the meaning of such simple words as no, or I’m not ready or give me more time. He crushed Tony into expectations that he may never be capable of achieving. It hurts. So after being hit, insulted, mocked, he was done, then Howard screamed for him to get the hell out of his house. His house, he emphasized. After all, Tony couldn’t be more than a mere tenant living under his father’s roof while he worked out his life.

Fuck.

He’s so fucked up.

The automatic voice sounds inside the train, letting him know that he will descend in the next station. Tony sighs, looking at the empty wagon. There is some freedom in it, to be able to walk away and don’t look back. To be able to follow his own path. But for an eighteen-year-old, unemployed, and who just had graduated, freedom is always frightening. There isn’t any expectation of life. What could he do? He’d had to work his way out of this. To start job-hunting, and conciliate it with his master’s degree, which he just had been admitted to. Scary. Terrifying. So lost.

No prospect of life. No home. Just a few banknotes and his credit cards in his wallet. A couple of clothes in his bag. Nothing to offer. Why would someone take pity on him? Why would someone take him in?

Tony tucks his headphones inside his bag, holding on a post as the rails brakes, the sound is almost comforting for the fact that tonight he has a destination in mind. Tomorrow, he will think about somewhere else. But for tonight, he prays that he can count on Steve.

For his misfortune, Howard chose to kick him out at the moment that his closest friends were far away. He didn’t know Rhodey’s location since he was on a mission for the Air Force, and Pepper was in Vancouver for the next three months. He had nowhere to go, but Steve’s.

Tony was afraid of how Steve would react when he knocked on his door at… Tony glances down at his phone, 12:41 a.m. He had hung out with Steve before, he could say that they were friends. Steve is a good friend, actually, but Tony feels more for him than he’s able to voice and since he had embarrassed Steve at a party weeks ago, when he vomited on his shoes after drinking too much, then told him he loved him in front of everyone since then Tony hasn’t answered his calls or texts until he finally stopped receiving them.

Fate is a bitch, though, and here he is asking for shelter for the very same man.

Tony strides through the streets of Brooklyn, he doesn’t know the neighborhood very well, but he knows where Steve’s building is. Tony gasps, rubbing his hands together to warm them up a little bit. It’s November, but the weather gets especially cold at night. He can see his breath whenever he exhales. Tony hurries up the stairs, getting breathless easily due to his heart condition. At least, he’d remembered to pack his medication, only enough for the next two months, though.

Because being homeless and unemployed is not enough in his list of failures, he also had to have a chronic illness.

Tony stops before the door with the number 13. He raises a fist, taking a deep breath. Steve must be sleeping, and he hates the fact that he is about to disturb him. Tony looks at the stairs again, thinking that he could wait there until morning, but Steve would be mad if he knew that Tony didn’t call him. Tony knocks hard. Harder than he should. Maybe, he should call Steve’s phone, although, after weeks without any news from him, it would look weird. It was already weird standing here in the middle of the night after confessing. Tony raises a fist again, wondering if Steve would really get up and check the door but before he could knock again, the door opens.

“Tony?” Steve frowns, staring at him. He rubs his beautiful eyes. Tony feels helpless, unable to acknowledge the emotions in his features, he can’t tell what Steve might be thinking just looking at his face.

“Steve, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, I-” Tony starts to say.

“You didn’t. I was watching a movie,” Steve says, looking at both sides of the corridor before stepping aside. “Come in.”

Tony does. Steve locks the door behind him, throwing the keys on the kitchen counter. His apartment is small, but it’s cozy and it serves Steve well. It feels warm inside here.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Steve takes Tony's bag from his shoulder, putting it on the couch. Tony sees a movie he doesn’t know playing on the TV and a blanket and cushions on the couch. “Are you hurt?” Steve’s blue eyes scan him from top to bottom.

“No. I-I am fine,” Tony assures him.

“C’mon here. You must be cold,” Steve goes to the kitchen, and Tony follows him timidly. “It’s still hot, I made it minutes ago.” Steve hands him a mug filled with hot chocolate. It smells so good and tastes incredible when Tony takes a sip. “Nothing better than hot chocolate to warm you up,” Steve smiles.

Tony agrees, adding in his mind that there’s nothing better than hot chocolate to push away the distress in his chest. Tony rubs his eyes, feeling them dry for the fact that he had cried earlier, and Steve must’ve noticed how red and swollen they are because he asks again:

“What happened, Tony?”

Tony ponders if he should tell the truth or just invent an excuse. He ends up with the truth because it’s Steve, and he hates lying to Steve.

“My father kicked me out. I have nowhere to go.”

Steve looks… He doesn’t know how Steve looks. Pitiful? Sad? Relieved? It’s hard to know. Steve is only three years older than him; they met in an art exposition months ago in the National Academy School of Fine Arts. Pepper is passionate about Arts, and she dragged Tony along that day. It was his lucky day that Steve was exposing his work there, they ended up talking and exchanging phone numbers. After that, Tony asked him out to a few parties, one of which embarrassed Steve in front of everyone. He couldn't forget about that. But nothing really happened between the two of them, except for some stares and slight brushing of hands.

“I’m sorry, Tony.”

“I don’t wanna bother you, but--”

“Of course you can stay, Tony,” Steve cuts him off, walking in his direction.

“Oh,” Tony lets out when Steve's big arms wrap around him, pulling him into a hug. “It feels nice.” Well, Tony didn’t have the intention to say it out loud. He steps back, breaking the hug. “I-I-” what?

“Yes, it felt nice, too,” Steve looks almost fond of him, but… Tony didn’t want to get attached. He couldn’t, what if Steve didn’t love him? Tony feels already loveless. He couldn’t bear the thought of being fed with crumbs again.

“Thanks,” Tony says, he passes through Steve to wash his now empty mug. “I really appreciate it. I didn’t think you would take me in after that party.”

Steve comes to his side, a frown on his face.

“What? Why?”

“I-I embarrassed you in front of everyone. I literally threw up on your shoes, then I--” Tony stutters nervously because he always feels nervous next to Steve. The blond always gives him butterflies in the stomach, he just can’t help it.

“Oh, no. Why,” Steve shakes his head, looking confused. “Why would you think that, Tony? You almost passed out. You leaned on me all the way back. Why would you think I was mad at you?”

“Why would you not?” Tony blurted out. “You took me to my house, and I--” Tony breathes deeply. “I thought I had embarrassed you in front of your friends, I made a scene, and I told you--” he stutters. “I-I didn’t want to make it weird to you. I understand if you--” Tony shakes his head, gulping. He couldn't help but frown when Steve laughed.

“I was more worried about you than embarrassed. Trust me, Tony. You didn’t call me to tell me you were okay the next morning. I was worried. You didn’t answer my calls either. I thought you had changed your mind about what you said,” Steve sounds… sorrowful.

Tony blinks. He really thought Steve was mad at him, he really thought… Did he really misunderstand it all? It wasn’t possible, right? Steve was just being his usual self, kind and nice. He couldn’t really...

“Wait, you…” Tony points to Steve.

“You didn’t embarrass me,” Steve shrugs. “I love you, too. I called to tell you that but you didn’t answer me.”

“I--”

Tony wraps his arms around Steve’s neck, tiptoeing to reach his lips, aware of Steve’s hands sliding to his waist to support him. Tony tastes the hot chocolate in Steve’s mouth, and it somehow suits him because Steve smells like home. Everything about Steve is cozy, lovely, and adorable. Tony feels a warmth flowing through his body, the feeling of safety invades him. He knows he can trust Steve, somehow, he knows, he wants to believe that Steve will not abandon him. Perhaps, that’s a love that he can let himself get attached to.

Steve breaks the kiss, still keeping Tony in his tight embrace.

Tony rests his head against Steve’s chest. “You can stay for as long as you need, Tony,” Steve kisses the top of his head. “It’ll be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

#steve rogers #tony stark #stony #stony fic #stevetony #steve x tony #steve rogers x tony stark #marvel #marvel fic #mcu fanfiction #hurt/comfort

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gladerwolfstarkimagines · 4 years ago

Text

Azula x female reader series: Part 6

Azula learns details about your relationship with Zuko and is furious leaving you isolated in a dangerous situation with few allies. You learn Zuko’s plan to escape during the eclipse and are torn between telling Azula or escaping with Zuko. Azula feels betrayed and no longer trusts you but do you give up on her that easily?

Tag list: @saucy-sapphic @justastranger-passing @azulasprincess @888-rising @sighsam @theblueslytherin @lucyrocks86 @halcyon-arts

Part One here

Part Two here

Part Three here

Part Four here

Part Five here

----

Your POV

"So that was a good effort" Zuko said breaking the awkward silence that settled as soon as you walked into his room. You managed not to roll your eyes as you moved about the room readying it for the night. Your training sessions were usually okay but today you'd done particularly bad and you were feeling hopeless you'd ever get better. "Seriously" Zuko said offering you a small smile "you're a new bender it will take time". Your practice sessions had been numerous, Zuko was suprisingly enthusiastic about training you but you hadn't been showing much improvement. He tried teaching you how his uncle taught him but the technique wasn’t compatible with you or something because you’d barely been able to match any of his stances. "Maybe I’m just not that good" you shrugged "you and Azula are royals it makes sense you’re such strong fire benders". Zuko went quiet at the mention of Azula and you scolded yourself for bringing her up, you weren’t meant to do that but you were seeing her tonight so she was on your mind. "Yes well..' Zuko started when there was a knock at the door. "Dammit I was supposed to meet Mai a while ago" Zuko frowned "y/n hide". "What?" You asked confused. "Things with Mai have been difficult lately" Zuko said awkwardly "she’s still not happy you’re my maid and if she sees you she’ll know we’ve been training and it will make her mad, so can you hide?". You nodded ignoring the blush on Zuko’s cheeks and looked for a spot. "Under the bed?" Zuko offered and you frowned "why don’t you just tell her what happened? We were training and lost track of time, maybe if you tell her the truth she won’t be mad". Zuko was thinking it over in his head when she knocked again and he jumped. "She won’t understand so please just hide y/n, I’ll tell her I’m coming soon and get her to leave". You sighed but nodded and rolled under the bed. Zuko sighed with relief and turned the door handle "I'm so sorry Ma..." he started but he stopped abruptly and you heard a voice that was certainly not Mai's. "I dont know what youre apologising for but im sure it's justified”.

Azula's POV

Azula loved catching her brother off guard and it seemed she had done just that. She waited until she was sure you'd have left the training room and came to Zuko's room. Azula wasn’t really sure why she was here, she hadn’t arranged this with you and it wasn’t that she didn’t trust you or anything. She just wanted proof nothing was going on, to see you two together in a non formal setting and see for herself what your relationship with her brother was like. Azula walked into the room amused Zuko looked so angry. She looked around for you but noticed you weren’t here, she imagined you were hiding and that sparked doubt in her mind. If Zuko was hiding you from Mai he must have a reason....

"Azula what do you want I'm late to meet Mai". Azula smirked turning to face him "she's already angry at you zuzu I doubt being late can make matters much worse between you, I don’t think anything can really". Zuko turned red in anger and embarrassment and Azula continued "how was your training session by the way? You’ve been having a lot of them lately haven’t you?". "None of your buisness" Zuko snapped "now get out". "My my not in a good mood" Azula replied "I’m only here for y/n". "Y/n?" Zuko asked and Azula nodded "yeah you know your maid..that's her name". "I know who she is!" Zuko snapped "but what do you want with her?". Azula smirked but she noticed another thing she didn’t like, the suspicion and anger Zuko showed at the mention of your name. "None of your buisness" Azula mimicked Zuko "have you seen her or not? I was sure she'd be here for some reason...seems she's been spending a lot of time with you according to the servants, I’m glad you've made a friend Zuko but if she works for you does it really count?". "You’re one to talk" Zuko spat and Azula frowned confused "I am?". "The way you've treated y/n, is it no wonder she likes me better?". Ow that hit a sensitive spot. What did he mean? Azula wondered. How dare he insinuate you liked him more. It wasn’t true and Azula knew that but it still made her nervous. "and how have I treated the maid brother?" Azula asked her temper already growing. "She told me all of it" zuko explained "how you blackmailed her to be loyal to you! How you lied and manipulated her, used whatever emotions she had for you for your own gain, how she never did any of it because she wanted to but because you made her! Honestly you're a monster". It wasn’t the first time Azula had been called a monster but it was the first time in relation to you so it stung. "And i’m supposed to believe y/n trusted you enough to confess this all?" Azula asked. Zuko nodded "i promised her i’d keep her safe from you and she confessed it all, everything I said came from her lips directly, she hates you Azula but she’s not scared of you anymore, because you can’t touch her now, she’s my maid and you can’t boss her around anymore". Azula was so shocked it took her a while to think of a witty response. You'd really told Zuko all of that about her? Did you really feel that way? How could you say it to Zuko of all people? All Azula wanted to do was run away but she couldn’t, she spun to Zuko and decided to let her anger out on him. "You think she’s untouachble? Nobody is" Azula spat "I am the best fire bender this nation has seen in aeons, you know i can beat you zuzu, speak to me like that again and I’ll give you a scar to match the one father did!". Zuko grunted and lunged for her but Azula was ready, lightning danced on her hands and she aimed. Zuko ducked and it hit his wall instead narrowly missing him. Zuko stared as the spot he’d just been stood on now smoked and Azula smiled satisfied. "Next time I won’t miss" and slammed the door.

Your POV

You made your way down the coridoor still shocked from the events in Zuko’s room. You couldn’t believe the horrible things Zuko had said but for Azula to fire lighning at him. She could have killed Zuko, murdered her brother over an argument. You reminded yourself she missed on purpose, she would never actually kill Zuko...not over something so petty as this anyway. Azula surely didn’t really believe you meant all the things you’d told Zuko, she surely knew it was all for the mission she’s assigned you and understood. You pushed open the door to your room and saw Azula stood there. The look she gave you told you, you’d been wrong. Azula turned to face you her face showing anger as she looked at you. It intimidated you and weeks ago you’d have been terrified but this was Azula, your Azula. You could reason with her and explain everything. She’s listen to you.

Azula’s POV

Azula felt she’d been very understanding. She’d allowed the private training sessions, she understood letting Zuko teach you fire bending and she hadn’t even got angry when you’d accidentally shown Zuko your abilities. What Azula couldn’t get over however was you creating this bad relationship for Zuko’s benefit. Azula watched as you stepped into the room and waited to see if you’d speak first. She was suprised you looked her straight in the eye as you went to speak “Azula I know you’re angry...”. “Of course I’m angry” Azula burst “how long have you been telling Zuko horrible stories about me”. “Well since the day he found out I was a firebender but they were all lies Azula”. “They’re not lies to Zuko, he thinks they’re true...you must’ve been pretty convincing, maybe they weren’t all lies”. “Of course they were Azula! I just made him think i disliked you so he’d trust me, he wouldn’t trust me any other way” you argued. “You couldn’t think of any other way besides bad mouthing me to my worst enemy? To someone I’ve despised since being a child?” Azula asked. “You wanted me to get close to Zuko” you cried “you asked me to do this and so I did, it’s clearly worked”. “No, I seem to recall telling you I could find another way y/n, that I’d use another plan, after your...slip up. I didn’t ask you to carry this on, you carried it on y/n and this is the way you chose to do it”.

The worst part was Azula could actually see the logic to your plan. Zuko hadn’t thought fondly of Azula since she’d learnt to walk, it was instinct for him to blame and hate her, to believe she was a cruel person. And yes Azula had been rude and cruel to many servants so the story would been easily believed but she had been nice to you, nicer than she was to her own friends! She’d protected you, trusted you and even grown to care for you more than she ever had for anyone else. You didn’t need rescuing from her, least of all by zuko but that was the story you’d sold him. As everyone did, even your mind made Azula the villan and Zuko the hero. Azula was snapped out of her rumination when you spoke. "Azula..." you tried again "please I was just doing it for the mission, I didn’t want to have ruined your plan, I wanted to salvage it by any means necessary, it’s working really well but I will stop if you want me to, I won’t keep up this act with Zuko anymore". “I think it’s a bit late for that” Azula snapped “you’ve already convinced Zuko I’m a monster to you and you’ve convinced me that what you really think of me”. “But Azula..” you tried but she cut you off aware she had to end this conversation now while she had control over her emotions. “No” she said raising her voice “the deal is off”. As Azula said those words she felt them hang in the air and saw your face change as you registered what she was saying. “I no longer want you to try and learn Zuko’s secrets, I don’t want you to report back to me, I don’t want to see or hear from you again” she yelled.

Your POV

Azula’s voice rang in the air and you stared at her. You felt scared, shock and sad but mainly angry. Azula had been fine with complicating your job by making you a spy, by making you lose the respect of your colleagues, by making the royals all despise you as a servant girl trying to sleep her way to the top and was only annoyed when Zuko believed a lie about her. "But it’s not true" you cried "Azula you know that! I know that! Who cares what zuko thinks? You’re throwing all this away because of him?". “This is not about Zuko y/n this is about you and I no longer trust or want to be around you”. Azula turned to leave and your anger turned to desperation. "Azula you don’t have to do this" you said reaching for her but she spun around brushing your hand away "who are you to tell me what i have or don’t have to do? I am the princess of the biggest kingdom in the world and you are a mere servant! You don’t speak to me that way ever!". You lowered your eyes and tried not to show how upset her words left you. A mere servant? How many times had Azula told you that you were more than that? And now she was pulling that all away, she was leaving you with Zuko in the middle of a web you’d spun on her orders, you’d manipulated Zuko and almost ruined his relationship on her orders and now she was abandoning you to it. Again as always Azula seemed to read your mind “have fun with zu zu y/n, he’s all you have left” and she stormed from the room.

1 week later

Your POV

"The room is prepared Prince Zuko" you declared. Zuko looked around shocked, you hadn’t been working long but it was true you’d done all he’d asked. He looked around for another job for you to do to make you stay but couldn’t spot any. You been cold and distant as of late and Zuko didn’t like it. "Is there anything else you require?" You asked. Zuko shook his head "no that is fine y/n" and you nodded going for the door. "Wait" Zuko called as your hand touched the door handle. Your shoulders slumped but you turned around passively "yes?". "Y/n are you okay?" Zuko asked. You wanted to scream that question seemed so stupid. Instead you just nodded your head "yes Prince Zuko". You were itching for him to leave you alone but Zuko wasn’t giving up that easy. "No you’re not" he replied. You shrugged not having the energy to argue and Zuko sighed "is it Azula?". You wanted to tell anyone it hurt so much but instead you met his eyes and calmly shook your head "no". Zuko frowned but you didn’t look away from his stare and he sighed "so what is it? You cancelled our training sessions for a reason! And i’ve noticed you’ve been sad y/n, I do notice other people besides myself you know!". You swallowed scared to comment and Zuko frowned again "is it the rumours about us?”. Again you were unsure how to comment, you didn’t want to encourage him or at the same time offend him, he was your employer and the only friend you had left now. "Rumours?" You asked playing dumb and Zuko rolled his eyes "i know you’re aware of them I think everyone is, they all think my interest in you is physical and unprofessional, is that why you’ve distanced yourself from me? If so y/n yo don’t have to I can stop the rumours and we can go back to training". "It’s not about you" you burst before you could stop yourself "I’m not worried my colleagues all despise me or think bad things about me, I dont care the nobels all think I am seducing you for power, I don’t care what they whisper about us as we pass" you burst. You wanted to add the most important one, that you didn’t care Azula didn’t like you anymore but knew that was a lie. Zuko stared at you shocked and you realised you’d just shouted at the heir to the throne and your only ally. "Prince Zuko i’m so sorry..." you started but he cut you off. "No it’s okay I pushed you it’s I who should apologise...but we are friends y/n you can tell me these things". You nodded your head “thank you” but made no move to carry on talking. "You are not happy" Zuko said thoughtfully and he turned to face you. You shrugged in response not seeing the point in denying it anymore. “what if i told you I could help get you away from this? From here?" Zuko asked. You looked at him shocked but truthfully you’d been expecting to be dismissed now Azula didn’t want you here but still it hurt. Regardless you handled it with composure and nodded "where will you resassign me?". "Reassign you?" Zuko asked surpised "y/n i don’t want to send you away!". "You don’t? Then what would you do?" you asked frowning. Zuko paused looking around to make sure his door was closed and lowered his voice “I’m planning on leaving soon and I could take you with me if you wanted". You paused shocked at this statement "you’re deserting the fire nation?” Zuko flushed "well i wouldn’t call it that but yes i guess i am but I never should’ve come back here, it was a mistake, I have to get out of here". "And you’d take me with you?" You asked "why?". Zuko paused "well we know the rumours aren’t true but my family doesn't, if I disappear they will interrogate all those close to me and they’ll turn to you, when I think of what they’ll do to get answers from you, my father alone will...." zuko trailed off before shaking his head "I don’t want to leave you behind to deal with the consequences of my actions, I could sneak you out with me...you could get away from this all if you came with me...what do you think?" Zuko asked. “This is a very kind offer Zuko” you frowned. “But...?” he asked sensing you weren’t totally on board with this plan. Leaving with Zuko would get you out of your situation but something was stopping you. Azula. If you left that would be it for your chances of reconciling what you had with her, you would prove to her she was right and you’d be another person who chose Zuko over her. You’d ruin all you’d had and maybe even Azula. You sighed and looked at Zuko "can i think about it?". Zuko nodded "of course, think it over but don’t take too long y/n the escape is in 2 days".

Azula’s POV

The day of the eclipse was fast approaching and the whole palace was busy finalising plans. Azula too was rushed off her feet ensuring the barracks were sufficient and she’d liked to have said it distracted her from what happened but it only put it off. Azula could go all day without thinking about it or wondering what was happening right now between you and Zuko but as soon as the silence settled or the planning was done it all came back. She’d hear your voice as you told her you didn’t mean it, how you tried to explain your actions away by blaming them on her. It still made her angry. She heard Zuko’s voice as he told her all you’d said and his promise to keep you safe from him. Azula would give up trying to sleep as the voices got too loud and go back to planning whatever she had left to plan. She double checked, triple checked everything but still she found an excuse to keep her mind from thinking but there were some ocassions she couldn’t help. Azula entered the dining room expecting to see her father and Zuko but saw Mai and Ty Lee instead. To be fair Zuko had been avoiding Azula so she didn’t expect him to be here but she thought her father would want to see her before the move to the barracks. “Where’s my father?” Azula barked and Mai shrugged but Ty Lee tried to smile “we’re not sure but we we’re summonded here instead. Nobody else has shown up so guess this is all ours” Ty Lee smiled looking at the food. Azula grunted but took a seat, she had nowhere else to be, she hadn’t realised how much time she’s spent with you until she cut you out of her life. “We were just talking about the move tomorrow” Ty Lee explained although Azula hadn’t asked “I was saying how I’m jealous Mai’s family got such a good spot! Then again I guess it’s understandable, Zuko probably put a good word in” Ty Lee said making Mai smile slightly. Azula had heard things had improved with Zuko and Mai, she guessed now you were no longer making things difficult Zuko had been forgiven and it was like it had never happened. That made Azula angry, she had lost her plan, her favourite maid, her only confidant, her well...whatever you two had been to one another all because of Zuko and he was happy while Azula was alone and miserable as always. Well not if she could help it, Azula was guessing Zuko hadn’t told Mai everything....

“Yes I’ve heard Zuko’s been keeping his favourites close to his chest lately”. Ty Lee shot Azula a wary look but Mai narrowed her eyes “what does that mean?”. “Ow nothing” Azula smirked “I mean you and Zuko have moved passed that whole buisness I’d hate to drag things back up...”. “Tell me” Mai snapped and when Azula raised an eyebrow she sighed “please”. Azula smirked “well it’s nothing really just that night you and Zuko went to go watch the ember island players and he was late...well he was with the maid. I went to his room to tell him father needed to speak with him and he thought I was you, he had her hid under the bed so you wouldn’t see her. He was late for your date because he was busy with another woman”. Mai slammed her cutlery down and stood up so suddenly the table shook. She threw her chair back and strode out of the room. Azula grinned watching and Ty Lee frowned at her. “Did you have to do that?” Ty Lee asked. “I think she should know my brothers cheating on her, would you rather I lie to her like he’s doing?”. “No but you didn’t have to tell her like that” Ty Lee sighed “it was just mean” and she stood up going after Mai. Azula brushed of Ty Lee’s comment, everyone thought she was mean, evil, a monster so why shouldn’t she act like one? Azula savoured her win over Zuko and smirked thinking about what Mai would do to him but the happiness was short lived. Azula looked around the now empty room and felt the familair pang of loneliness she’s felt growing since she’d dismissed you. It just seemed to be getting worse and if ruining Zuko’s happiness couldn’t even get rid of it could anything? She swallowed hard and stood up, she should get back to work.

Your POV

“Those boxes need going to Prince Zuko’s private room in the baracks” you told the servants who had come to help you move Zuko’s belongings to the bunkers for safety during the eclipse. It was all for show really, Zuko was planning on leaving during the eclipse so wouldn’t really need a room in the baracks but you had to pretend he’d be there the whole time. You’d organised all his possessions and managed to save the few he would need on him when he made his escape without arousing suspicion. You still hadn’t decided if to stay or go and time was running out to put it off any longer. The servants all got to work helping you automatically but none of them would look at you. You knew most were scared of you, they figured you had Zuko’s ear and they weren’t wrong you supposed but it was in a different way than they thought. You picked up a stack of boxes too, determined to show them all you weren’t just Zuko’s accesory and led the way to the barracks. You hadn’t gone far down the coridoor when someone came around the corner. Mai and Ty Lee appeared and they seemed to be arguing or atleast Mai was, she was walking ahead as Ty Lee tried to keep up and seemed angry. You hoped they wouldn’t look up and almost made it past them when Mai’s eyes fixed on you you felt your heart stop. “Stop” she called and all the servants halted. Ty Lee was saying something to her, sje seemed to be begging her not do this but Mai didn’t seem to be listening. She looked at the boxes you were carrying clearly marked as Zuko’s things and that seemed to make her angrier. You always found the girl terrifying but now she looked plain evil. The look she sent you told you she wanted you dead, no worse than dead. “Leave us” she spat at the servants. They were all too happy to leave and rushed off, even plucking the boxes from your hands as they passed leaving you very much on your own. You instantly feared what Mai was going to do to you. You thought her and Zuko had made up since you’d distanced yourself from him but apparently Mai wasn’t ready to move on. Ty lee watched Mai stare at you and frowned “Mai don’t...". Ty Lee go" Mai said her voice flat "i wish to speak to the servant alone". Ty Lee looked at Mai but sighed seeing Mai’s eyes were fixed on you unmoving. Ty Lee looked upset but obediently turned and walked back the way she’d come. Mai stared at you and then moved forwards soundlessly and you instinctively went to step back. “Does Zuko often hide you in his room everytime I visit or just when he’s already an hour late to our date?” Mai asked. You paused confused why Mai was bringing this up now, that night was ages ago why was she angry about it now? Mai didn’t seem to care what you had to say though and carried “do either of you think you’re fooling anyone? Do you think the rumours of the two of you haven’t reach us all? That we don’t know you’re together?”. You stared at Mai not wanting to move, breath or do anything to anger her any more. "Do you deny it?" she asked stepping closer again and you backed up into the wall. You looked at her helplessly, what could you say? You couldn’t tell her you were just training with Zuko, she’s definitely tell Ozai to have you thrown out of her life for good. "You should speak to Prince Zuko" you told her shakily "I don’t know what I’m allowed to say". Mai gripped you so suddenly you would’ve flinched but her grip didn’t permit it. She had a hand of your throat and the other on a knife you hadn’t even seen her draw. "Not allowed" she spat "acting now like you’re someone who follows all the rules! What being Azula’s pet wasn’t enough to make you feel special you had to have Zuko too? Bet you brag to all your little servant friends, think you’re going to secure your place here through Zuko and some bastard child?". You shook your head "no Mai! That’s not what I want!". Mai only hissed slightly pressing on your neck harder "I should kill you both for the insult to me!". "Mai it’s not what you think" you couldn’t help saying "please talk to Zuko!". "Zuko?" she spat "you dare be so casual about him to me!". You paled more "no Mai i’m sorry, I just meant...". "I always had my doubts, i knew you couldn’t be trusted, i knew Azula did this on purpose, I bet she told you to do this didn’t she? You think you have no choice but we all have choices y/n and you made yours". Mai raised her knife and you closed your eyes ready for her to kill you. Seconds passed and nothing happened. You opened your eyes to see Mai staring at you hard, her face unreadable. You could barely breathe, she was deciding what to do with your life. Finally she let go and you collapsed back against the wall gasping. You looked up at Mai shocked and saw her fist just as it came down and punched you straight in the face. You cried out and fell down against the wall as blood trickled down your face. Mai straightenned looking at you with disgust "you can tell Zuko i gave you that, if he thinks i’ll allow him to keep doing this to me with you he’s wrong, tell him we’re done, I think it should come from you" she said with a twitch of her lip "also tell Zuko to make sure I don’t ever see you again, if I do I won’t be so forgiving, you’ve both been warned" she spat before she turned and left. You breathed haggerdly your heart pounding as you pressed your sleeve to your nose. You were terrified of Mai but also couldn’t help feel sorry for her. If Zuko had just trusted her with your secret or found a less provocative cover none of this would’ve happneed. Now you had an assassin ready to kill you the next time she saw you and your only escape was with Azula’s brother. The bleeding stopped and you stood up slowly. You either stayed and got killed or left with Zuko abandoning Azula here. You wiped away the blood and carried on walking. If you were going to be killed by staying here for Azula you’d atleast do what she hired you to do.

It was early in the morning and you moved through the palace taking back routes so nobody would see you. You didn’t want what you were about to do getting back to Zuko. You went to knock on the door to Azula’s room when it suddenly opened. You’d been prepared to see Azula but still after not seeing her for a week you felt your heart speed up in anticipation but it wasn’t Azula behind the door. “Ow” Ty Lee frowned seeing you and you stared at her. Azula never entertained her friends in her own room and especially not at this time in the morning. You got suspicious and jealous as your mind worked overtime to work out why Ty Lee was there in Azula’s room at this time of day but you couldn’t think of a plausible solution. “Can I help you?” Ty Lee asked and you heard Azula ask who she was talking to. Azula appeared beside Ty Lee and stopped midsentence when she saw it was you “ow”. Shaking away your jealousy you remembered why you’d come here "I need to speak to Princess Azula" you spoke clearly and slowly. Ty Lee looked to Azula whose face was a mask. "Well i'd love to chat about laundry or mopping floors but I’m busy" Azula said going to shut the door. "Please" you said forcefully meeting Azula’s eye "it’s important”. Azula’s face changed as she met your eye and you saw her nervously look to Ty Lee as if making sure her friend wasn’t getting suspicious there had been any sort of relationship between you. "Go" Azula told Ty Lee "I’ll just see what this is about?". Ty Lee nodded “Okay” and Azula watched until she was gone and turned to you.

Azula’s POV

"Well I suppose you should come inside" Azula snapped "I won’t do this is the hallway, what were you thinking coming to be so publically?" She scolded you as the door shut behind you. "I had to" you said annoyed "it’s urgent". Azula rolled her eyes "what’s so urgent?". Azula had been expecting an attempt to get back together or confession of how much you’d missed her. Instead it was nothing about her. "I know what Zuko’s planning". Azula paused unsure if she’d heard you correctly "what?". "I know what Zuko’s planning" you repeated. So she hadn’t imagined that, you’d actually said what she'd dreamt of you saying for ages. Well true more recently she dreamt more of you giving a grand apology that justified forgiving you but that wasn’t going to happen. "Well what is it?" Azula asked as silence settled and you frowned at her. Azula was aware she'd been the one to pause but she hadn’t seen you in a while and you seemed annoyingly fine. Sure you hadn’t looked at her when you first spoke but you’d practically demnded to speak with her, even infront of Ty Lee too. You’d grown confident and Azula could even tell now by how you snapped back at her or only just caught your eye rolls, you weren’t afraid of her anymore. That both annoyed and pleased her. Caught up in her thoughts Azula almost missed what you’d said. "Zuko’s escaping?" she repeated "tomorrow?". You nodded your head "during the eclipse, that’s what he’s been planning". Azula noticed you looked guilty and her jealousy rose again "so why tell me and betray your precious Zuko?" Azula asked aware she sounded childish but she didn’t care. You actually did roll your eyes this time "I know you don’t believe I didn’t mean the things I said to Zuko but i didn’t Azula, I did all of this to get you this information and well it seemed pointless to not tell you so here i am". Silence settled and Azula felt miffed, your answer hadn’t been what she expected at all. "Well if that is all you can go" Azula said coldly turning away. You fixed your eyes on her in disbelief and Azula felt a mixture of anger and guilt. How dare you look at her like she was the bad guy here. She had told you to drop this and didn’t owe you anything. But as you turned to leave Azula got a sinking feeling, this felt final...you’d said this was happening in 24 hours, that was so soon. Why had you told her? Azula knew her brother, he wouldn’t leave you behind. No he’d take you with him and yet you still told her. Was it just because of loyalty to her or had you wanted to see her? To prove you were on her side? Azula frowned, if she told her father Zuko would be imprisoned or killed and you would be dragged down with him, especially when she was forced to reveal where she got this information from. Azula was still angry and confused at you but she didn’t want to be the cause of your death. She couldn’t be even if it did mean bringing down her brother...could she?.

Your POV

The talk with Azula hadn't cleared anything up for you it just made you feel guilty for betraying zuko. You been split by your loyalty to both of them but your feelings for Azula won you over and all for nothing. Azula hadn't responded how you'd wanted her to and now Zuko was going to suffer for your lapse in judgement. You decided you were going to tell him, apologise and maybe convince him to leave early while he still could and so has been waiting in his room for him to return all morning. You were unpacking the last of his belongings while you waited when the door suddenly opened. "Zuko we need to talk" you started but stopped dead in your tracks to see Azula stood there. “Azula? what are you doing here?”. "Well i heard Mai’s got a bounty out for your head so figured you'd be hiding out in here". You paused but realised she hadn't really answered your question “That still doesn’t tell me why you’re here”. Azula huffed at your tone but carried on “I don’t have long the war meeting starts soon so just let me talk”. You pouted but nodded for Azula to go on. “This escape plan?” Azula asked “the one taking place tomorrow, my brother has extended the invitation to you hasn’t he?”. You paused and Azula nodded “I knew it”. “He has” you tried to explain “but i...” but Azula wasn’t listening. “I am not bothered about Zuko being here or not” Azula explained “I will do you this one thing y/n, I will not tell my father about Zuko’s plan to give you the chance to escape, but as soon as you are out of here I will have to hunt down my brother". "Azula" you tried to explain but she cut you off "no just listen, i will have to do that y/n whether i want to or not so my advice to you is to escape and get away from him, leave Zuko as soon as you can and head for the colonies, you can get away there and be safe I won't follow you there”. “Azula” you said annoyed but she carried on “of course you'll need to find work and money to survive, you could steal some of Zuko’s possessions to help start you off, or even ask him for them I’m sure he won’t mind and use the money to build a life in the colonies...”. “Azula” you yelled and she stopped looking at you clearly annoyed “what?”. "I’m not going with Zuko" you told her and she frowned. "Well why not?" She asked exasperatedly and you sighed "I’m not leaving with zuko, I can’t, not after all I’ve done to him” you sighed and saw Azula roll her eyes. “And I know you think that's stupid” you said noticing her expression “but Zuko isn’t as bad as I thought he’d be and don’t take that personally Azula just because I don't hate Zuko doesn’t mean I dislike you”. Azula pouted and you shook your head ”I feel gulity for what I did to him but that’s not the main reason I’m not leaving” You told Azula “I’ve lied and manipulated Zuko and yes i feel bad for doing it but I did all that for you because you needed me to do it and well I’d pretty much do anything for you". Azula paused taken back and unsure how to respond just blurted "so why does that mean you can't leave?". You smirked slightly at Azula's blunt response and smiled "because if I leave I‘ll be leaving you here alone, and i know you don’t trust me or even like me but I don’t want to do that Azula, I won’t leave you here alone, I promised you I’d be here for you Azula and so there’s no way I’m leaving you, I won’t, not even if you command me to".

Azula’s POV

Azula was taken back by your confession and all the emotions it made her feel. She felt scared, vulnerable, angry at you for not saying it sooner, suspicious, confused why you still felt this for her but mainly she felt hopeful. What you said made her excited, it made her feel warm and happy, something she hadn’t felt since she'd parted from you. She felt safe. Azula stared at you softly and you paused "so yeah...you don’t have to reply but i just wanted you to know that". You looked down and turned away “you should go, the meeting will have started now”. Azula reacted too slowly and when she went to call your name tell you not to leave you’d already gone. Azula moved to follow you but the door behind her opened and her father appeared "Azula?" Ozai asked "what are you doing in here? Are you ready for the meeting?". She nodded although her eyes kept flickering to the door you'd just walk out of and she itched to follow you. "Azula!" her father snapped and reluctantly Azula followed him.

All through the meeting Azula couldn’t concentrate, all she could think about was what you said and how much that meant to her. And more importantly how she couldn't let anything happen to you. As soon as the meeting was over Azula grabbed zuko "i need to talk to you". He glared at her pulling his arm away and it took everything in her body not to just yank his arm and force him to speak to her. "please" she said through gritted teeth and Zuko raised his eyebrows but followed her out of pure shock. As soon as he shut the door Azula started to talk. "You have to take y/n with you" Azula told Zuko and he paused eyes wide "what?"."When you leave tomorrow" she explained. "How do you..." zuko started but Azula cut him off "it doesn't matter, what matters is I know y/n doesn’t want to go but you have to make her! By any means possible". Zuko glared "I’m not forcing her to do anything Azula". Azula sighed angrily he didn't understand. "Zuko if you disappear and she stays do you have any idea what will happen to her? Can your small brain even comprehend what father will do to get information out of her?". "I know that" Zuko snapped and Azula glared "so what's the problem?" She snapped back "she doesn't leave with you then she gets hurt! Or worse! You think your life is worth more than hers! That you can run away and be happy knowing you did that to her?". "No..." zuko frowned and Azula nodded "then make her leave with you! Get her out of the palace and away from here, you have to! Scare her, pay her, guilt her! I don't care what it is just save her!". Zuko stared at Azula shocked to see his sister so desperate. In all his life he'd never seen her so scared, so worried about someone who wasn't herself. "You care about her?" Zuko said shocked "like really care for her". Azula rolled her eyes annoyed it had taken her family this long to notice "just do as i say Zuko, if she get's hurt because of you i'll...". "Got it" Zuko nodded "I'll try and get her to safety Azula I promise". Azula nodded her head suprised she was once pleased with Zuko and grateful for him. "Good" she nodded "i guess it's a good thing I didn't kill you when we were kids". Zuko frowned "thanks?". "You're welcome" Azula nodded before walking away.

Your POV

Zuko knew you wanted to speak to him by the way you kept fiddling with the sleeve of your uniform. Zuko had grown suspicious of you since his meeting with Azula and figured he’d just start the ball rolling. "You told Azula about our escape plan didn't you?" Zuko asked and you froze. Guilt overcame you and you spun around "Zuko I’m so sorry". Zuko nodded his head in recognition but wouldn’t look at you "I suppose it’s okay, she's not going to stop us so it hasn’t changed anything...". "I know but i feel so bad, I could’ve got you caught or worse by telling her, i don’t know what I was expecting to happen when I told her...I don’t know what I wanted from it" you sighed but zuko frowned. "I think i know why you did it, i think Azula does too...I never realised you were...you're close aren’t you?". You sighed but nodded "I mean I thought we were but I’m not so sure anymore". "That’s why you don't want to leave isn’t it?" Zuko asked "you don’t want to leave her". You were terrified to admit it but also it felt so good just to confess your feelings. "Yes, I can't leave her Zuko, i know you don’t like her but she's not like you think she is...I can't leave her behind to deal with this this all alone". Zuko frowned "well she actually asked me to get you out of here". "She asked you that?" You said suprised Azula went to Zuko for help of all people! Zuko nodded "I’ve never seen her care for anyone before but she was certain I had to get you to leave with me, I think she’s scared of what will happen to you once im gone and I am too y/n". You were grateful and touched Azula and Zuko both cared about you so much but it didn't change your mind. "I can't Zuko" you sighed firmly "I guess Azula won’t be happy but I haven’t changed my decision I can’t leave her behind I...I just can’t". Zuko nodded "I understand, well I don’t but I won’t force you". You smiled sadly "thank you for helping me though I never thought i’d grow to count you as a friend but I did, I just hope i haven’t ruined everything". Zuko shook his head "I don’t like what you did but i get it...you did it for Azula because of how much you like her". You blushed but nodded "still it doesn’t excuse what i did and I’m sorry". Zuko smiled softly and placed a hand on your arm "you're forgiven y/n".

The escape had gone fairly smoothly. You wanted to see Zuko off so waited by the airships for him when sure enough he appeared out of breath and shaken but he looked fine. “It went okay with your father?” you asked noticing the smell of burning on him. “As well as I expected” Zuko nodded as you passsed him his supplies and the keys to the airship. Zuko took them from you and paused “You still won’t come with me?” Zuko asked and you shook your head smiling sadly “no”. “You know what they’ll do to you?” Zuko warned you “are you sure you’re willing to accept that?”. You nodded your head “just hurry up and overthrow your father”. Zuko smiled but it was a sad smile and he sighed “y/n...”. “Go” you said hearing the sounds of someone approaching “now!”. Zuko nodded and turned to the airship when Azula appeared. “Honestly I ask one thing of you and you even fail at that” Azula snapped. Zuko looked just as suprised as you that Azula was here. “Azula why are you here?” Zuko asked as if unsure if she was here to help or stop him from leaving. “I came to make sure you got y/n to go with you but as usual you failed”. I won’t force her” Zuko glared “unlike you I don’t just ignore what my friends want”. Azula rolled her eyes “this isn’t a difference in opinion Zuko this is her life you’re letting her throw away” Azula snapped and you stepped inbetween them. “Azula stop, you can’t blame Zuko for this it’s my decision”. Azula finally looked at you and her expression confused you because she genuinely looked scared, something you’d never seen on her face before. “But it’s a stupid decision, do you know what my father will do to you? What I wont be able to stop?”. “I know” you nodded and Azula groaned “so go!” she yelled “run now! disappear! I won’t blame you y/n you have my blessing to do this”. “Sweet as that is I don’t care” you replied. Azula glared at you “you’re going even if I have to put you on the ship myself!”. Zuko watched amazed as you stepped towards Azula and she didn’t back away or push you back. "I told you i’m not leaving" you told her "there no way you’ll get me on that ship atleast not without you". Azula shook her head, you couldn't be serious. "Y/n you have to leave because you’re in danger i’m not" she told you “please go”. Azula stared at you willing you to say yes but you couldn’t. You gently touched her arm and lowered you tone “Azula you know that’s not true, you’re not safe here none of you are”. "You don’t know what youre talking about" Azula glared and you frowned feeling her tense. “Azula your father burned Zuko for speaking out of turn as a child! He’s neglected you emotionally since you were an infant! He sent you out alone across the world to capture the avatar and pitted you and Zuko against one another just because he could! He uses you because you’re valuable not because he values you, you are in danger here Azula just like me and that’s why I’m not going anywhere unless you’re with me". “That’s ridiculous” Azula muttered “my father would never harm me...Zuko was wrong to do what he did...I won’t make a mistake like that ever”. You smiled sadly “you don’t know that Azula and if you do how would your father react?”. Azula flinched away from you and turned so her back was to you “no I can’t”. Azula walked away from you and stood cradling her arms, the sight almost broke you but you had to do this, you were so close. “Azula” you said softly and she shook her head “stop it y/n”. “Azula please come with me”. She didn’t reply so you walked closer "Even if you think you’re safe here you’re not happy here Azula" you told her "i know you’re not, and that’s not fair Azula”. Azula looked at you and you could see there were tears in her eyes. “I know you’re scared and so am I” you nodded “this life is all we know but it isn’t all thats out there Azula, there’s more for you...for both of us besides this” you said gesturing to the palace “you deserve better than this Azula, you deserve to be happy and loved and appreciated and if we leave we can find all that, we can have all that! All you need to do is come with me" you said standing inches away from here. “Please Azula come with me” you begged hand outstreteched. The silence stretched out and the tension was thick in the air. You held your breath waiting for Azula’s reply, not even contemplating what it would mean if she said no. You lowered your eyes figuring Azula didn’t want to come with you when she moved so quickly it made you jump. Azula grabbed your hand and nodded softly her eyes fixed on you “Let’s go”.

Epilogue

You, Azula and Zuko fled the firenation and helped Zuko find the avatar as he planned. From there though you seperated from Zuko. Azula was still torn by her decision to abandon the life she’s knew and joining the rebels didn’t help her process that decision so together you left. You followed Azula’s plan of traveling to the fire nation colonies. It was a rough journey but together you avoided detection and made it to a quiet village where you could lay low. The news from the war was continuous and not easy for Azula to hear. She was struggling to come to terms with what she had done, she’d always planned every inch of her life but now she was without a plan, without a role, without a clear path. Azula considered going back numerous times, not because she missed her father or felt guilty for what she’d done but because she couldn’t see how she could just be Azula and not the firenation princess or a prodogy bender. But each time the thought of leaving you stopped her and you helped her adjust the best you could, reassuring her it was going to be okay and it would all work out. Once the war was won you didn’t have to hide away and Zuko helped you aquire the help Azula needed. Azula started trying to work on herself and you helped her unpack all her unconscious beliefs and traumas. It was hard work and there were many arguments and bad days but you were there for every breakdown, every outburst, every insecurity and you worked through them together. You never wanted Azula to feel alone ever again. As the months passed azula adjusted more to the idea of just being herself, not a weapon, not a firebending prodogy, not an opponent to her brother, just Azula. And you helped her see being just Azula was good enough, brilliant actually.

10 years later

You sat down in your garden on the bench you'd made a few years ago and smiled. The summer was coming to an end and while it was still warm it was a more relaxed heat you could happily enjoy. You closed your eyes feeling the sun on your face and enjoyed the smells of your garden when you felt someone sit next to you. Azula eased into the bench beside you and rested her arm around the back of your chair as she always did. You smiled placing your hand on her knee out of habit and looked at her. "We've been living here for 10 years now but the view still gets me on days like this" Azula smiled "it’s beautiful". You nodded just watching Azula and admired how content she looked. Azula was still the same strong willed confident woman but she was different now. She was no longer terrified of not being good enough, no longer chasing approval or using manipulation and anger as her weapons. Azula felt your gaze and looked over at you "what?". "Nothing" you smiled lowering your eyes. You both knew you'd been caught admiring her. Azula smirked and rested her head against yours "moments like this feel perfect" Azula smiled "and they only happened because of you". You shook your head "not just me, you chose to come with me, you made that leap not me". "Well yes but I did it for you mostly" Azula shrugged "so it was...inspired by you?" Azula asked and you smiled. "Fine I’ll accept that" you rolled your eyes making Azula grin. "Thank you" Azula said softly watching the turtle ducks in your pond "I don't think I say it enough". "You don't need to thank me" you smiled "I did it for you and being here seeing you be happy and grow as a person...that’s all the thanks I need". Azula blushed, something you still found adorable after all this time, and smiled "well still thank you, you saved me and made me the person i am i'll never forget that...ever" she told you holding your face. You blushed too and Azula smirked. She leant in to kiss you when your gate screeched and you heard a small voice. "Aunt azula! Aunt y/n were here!" Izumi yelled and Azula grinned. "About time!" Azula called "did you dad get lost again?" she asked scooping Izumi up into her arms making her laugh. "Yeah" Izumi giggled "mom’s angry he wouldn’t ask for directions just because he’s the firelord". You chuckled and waved to Zuko and Mai who were in sight at the bottom of the path. "Did you miss me?" Izumi asked and you smiled resting an arm on Azula's back "of course we did" you grinned "our favourite niece". "I'm your only niece" Izumi smirked jumping from Azula to you and you laughed "true but you're still our favourite" and tickled her. Izumi laughed and Azula smiled at the two of you. Izumi ran off to her parents and Azula followed. You stood watching your family and smiled as Azula and Zuko greeted each other warmly and Azula hugged mai like the old friend she was. The sun caught Azula’s face as she laughed at a joke Mai made and her eyes glowed as they had years ago when you'd first started dating. You smiled just seeing her smile and felt the familiar warm happy feeling in your chest. You were both safe, happy and together, still in love after all these years and you couldn’t picture it any other way, your life with Azula was perfect.

-----

So that’s it!!! Sorry it was suppppper long I just had so much to write about Azula! I know the ending might be a bit optimistic or idealistic for Azula but I want Azula to be happy and loved so don’t really care. Plus with help support and therapy I think Azula could totally live a healthy happy life and overcome all her past trauma so wrote that. Thanks for all the likes and support!! I’ve really enjoyed this series and it’s been great to see so many Azula fans are out there. Thanks again!!

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the-coda-project · 3 years ago

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The Coda Project | 1.02 - Inherit the Flames

After reuniting Tommy Collins with his family, Dean and Sam stop for the night in a town called Rifle.

They’re about two hours out of Blackwater Ridge, at a dumpy motel on the edge of a town called Rifle, and Dean’s been staring at the tree-print wallpaper for so long that he’s started detecting patterns in the branches.

A cheap plug-in air freshener in the bathroom has the whole place reeking of artificial pine. Between that and the walls, Dean’s starting to feel as though the wilderness they just barely managed to escape from has followed them here. Hell, maybe they didn’t escape. Maybe he’s still strung up in the mine; maybe the wendigo is still tossing him around like a ragdoll, scrambling his brains just enough that he’s dreaming of a motel that doesn’t exist.

Outside, an eighteen-wheeler passes on the I-70, close enough to make the windows rattle. Dean shifts in his bed as if a different position is going to be enough to distract him from how badly his ribs ache. His scratched-up neck feels raw as road rash.

No matter how hard he tries, sleep still feels so far out of the realm of possibility that he starts wondering how long he should lie here before he can cut his losses and call it.

But then Sam pipes up—“Hey, can I ask you something?”—from across the room, not bothering to check first if Dean’s awake, and immediately he wants to just keep feigning sleep until morning. He might have sought out his brother’s company only a couple of weeks ago, but right now, with the memory of Sam’s dismissive attitude toward helping the Collins family fresh in his mind, he doesn’t feel much like talking to him.

“Dean.”

He presses his eyes shut, ignoring the part of himself that’s berating him for being childish. Whether he can get to sleep or not, he’s too goddamn exhausted to talk about anything that isn’t life or death.

If he thought there was even a chance that his brother was angling to talk about Jessica, he’d be sitting up and listening in a heartbeat. But his tone is inquisitive, not hesitant, and Sam’s been so closed-lipped about his grief that Dean only knows how much her death is affecting him because of how loud and frequent his nightmares have been.

“Dean,” Sam says again, slightly louder. “I know you’re awake.”

With a huff, Dean tilts his head to squint at him across the gap between their lumpy mattresses. He grimaces as the motion pulls at the claw marks on his neck. He’ll be lucky if they don’t scar, but maybe it’d be better if they do. Maybe it’d help if he could see something visibly fucked up when he looks in the mirror. Maybe that would make it easier to explain away the revulsion he feels when he meets his own eyes.

“Dude, can it wait until after I get a solid four hours?”

Bullheaded as ever, Sam ignores the question, sitting up and tucking his shaggy hair back behind his ears. He looks twelve years old. Dean figures he always will, in some ways.

“Did something happen with Dad? Before he took off, I mean.”

“Like what?”

He’s not sure why he bothers asking Sam to clarify.

Maybe it’s just to buy himself some time; to give himself a second to come up with some version of the truth that doesn’t amount to Dad’s an overbearing, pigheaded prick, just like you’ve always said, and if I didn’t think he was in trouble right now I’d be glad to be rid of him for at least another month.

Even thinking it makes him guilty. Like he’s a bad son for being so angry with the guy. But he’s gotta believe that his actions are the important part here; proof that no matter how much he hates his dad sometimes, he still loves him enough to want to keep this family as connected as he can.

Still, a part of him is wondering if it’s really worth it anymore to keep up the act. If his clinging to John and clinging to Sam is just making things worse for all of them. Making John think he’ll put up with whatever he throws at him. Making Sam think he doesn’t care enough to take his side against John when he’s being unreasonable.

A part of him wonders—but it’s not a big enough part to win. The thought that something might have happened to him keeps him from letting the bile spill.

Because if they can’t find him—or worse, if they do find him but they’re too late—Dean doesn’t want Sam to have more reasons to be angry with a dead man than he’s already got.

It’s not as though Dean’s not used to keeping this shit locked down, anyway. There’ve been other disagreements, other fights, other circumstances over the years that he knows weren’t even close to being fair on him, but that’s just his life. It sucks, but it’s how it’s always been. No use complaining about it if it’s never gonna change, and after living this way for twenty-two of his twenty-six years, he sees no reason to consider change a possibility.

In the grand scheme of things, this particular incident doesn’t even make the top five list of awful things John’s put him through. The honors there go to that time with the shtriga, abandoning him at Sonny’s and then uprooting him as soon as he let himself get comfortable, the hunt he sent him on as a seventeenth birthday “present”, the night he told Sam not to bother coming back if he left for school, and the simple act of raising his kids into this shit in the first place.

This one might make it into the top ten, though. He hasn’t decided yet.

“Well,” Sam says, pulling him out of his thoughts. “You said you hadn’t heard from him in… what, three weeks before you got that message? Seems weird that it was so long, is all. You were on a hunt, he was on a hunt… it’s just weird that you weren’t checking in more often.”

Dean rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling. There’s a water stain on the popcorn tile overhead that almost looks like a cactus if he looks at it the right way.

Christ, he could use some tequila right now. Maybe he can find them a case further south while they wait for some sign of John to turn up. Someplace warmer than the mountains in Colorado. Someplace where he can roll into town, waste a ghost, and then knock back a few drinks on a motel patio without having to talk to anyone at all.

“I mean, you usually check in more than that, right?” Sam goes on, and Dean sighs. He lifts one hand to rub at his brow.

“Yeah, usually.”

“So… what happened?”

“Nothing you gotta worry about,” he says, and immediately knows it was a mistake. Sam zeroes in on what Dean didn’t say just as intently as anyone else would focus on what he did.

Maybe he should go to law school after all—he’s already got the artful-conversational-trap shit down.

“You had a fight.”

“Sam—”

“No, c’mon Dean. You asked me to help you find him. If you had a fight before he left, that seems like it might be relevant.”

“It’s not.”

“So why won’t you just tell me?”

“It was nothing,” he insists. “Dad isn’t exactly Mr Congeniality, Sam. We fight all the time.”

“No, me and Dad fight all the time. The two of you are usually on the same page.”

Dean suppresses a snort and rolls onto his side, his back to Sam now as he looks at the narrow strip of moonlight edging past the thin motel curtains.

“You know I’ll just ask Dad when we find him if you don’t—“

“Jesus, Sam. It was nothing. Just a stupid disagreement about the hunt we were on. You know how he can get.”

“What was the hunt?”

“A witch in Louisiana. We had different ideas about what was going on, but it’s done, the witch is dead, and it doesn’t matter anymore. Okay?”

“That’s all?”

It’s not all.

Thanks to a botched salt-and-burn in Kentucky the previous month, things had already been tense well before they checked into a motel in Souffran, Louisiana. It only got worse when they ran into a woman Dean knew on their second day in town.

She’d been a civilian, last he’d seen her. Said she was a hunter now.

John had been ready to leave as soon as he found out she was already looking into it, but Dean wasn’t so eager.

It wasn’t that he thought Marisa was helpless—far from it, in fact. She’d been teaching capoeira when Dean met her in Texas a few months back. Had the thing terrorizing her students been corporeal, he has no doubt that she never would have needed any help in kicking its ass. But she was inexperienced as a hunter. Green as they come.

Dean didn’t love the idea of her taking on whatever was killing kids in Souffran alone.

When he told John as much, his dad just gave him a sly look, as if he thought the only reason Dean cared was because he was looking to get into Marisa’s pants. Dean wasn’t, for the record. As he saw it, it was his fault that she’d decided to try hunting on for size in the first place. He figured he owed it to her to back her up while she was still so new.

At first, all they’d had to go on was two kids who’d gone missing and turned up dead a week later without any visible injuries beyond a circular burn in the center of their chests; a girl named Lucy Parker who’d disappeared without a trace from her grandmother’s backyard yesterday but was yet to be found; and half a dozen wildly inconsistent reports of strange lights being seen in the swamp running along the north edge of town.

John had been convinced that they were dealing with a fi follet—a kind of malevolent will-‘o-the-wisp known to enact vengeance and drain the blood of children. When Dean disagreed with him, explaining to Marisa that the whole thing felt witchy to him, and pointing out that neither of the kids who’d died had shown any signs of blood loss, John got pigheaded and petty.

He called Dean arrogant. Accused him of acting like John was an idiot ever since they left Kentucky. Spat, “You spend one day showing a civvie the ropes and now you’re an expert, huh? Well go ahead, kid. Handle it on your own.”

And then he bailed.

Left Dean and Marisa to track down a missing eight year old on their own, and made Dean feel about three inches tall when he did it.

It took them almost a full two days to track the thing responsible. A witch, like Dean had thought, who’d been draining the kids of their life force in a desperate, last-ditch effort to stave off some sickness that was eating away at him. But the spell he’d been using was unstable and ineffective, and he’d been haggard and jittery when they found him in a rusty little shack out in the middle of nowhere.

Lucy Parker was right there with him in the room, suspended in mid-air by some unknown force as pale, flickering light leached from the center of her chest and down into a copper bowl on the floor beneath her. Her eyes were wide and rolled back to the whites. Her mouth was open as if she were screaming.

Marisa shot the witch point blank, right between the eyes, and Dean had darted forward to catch Lucy before she could hit the ground. He’d spent the entire time terrified that they were going to get to her too late; that she’d turn up dead before they could figure out where she’d been taken or how to deal with the thing that had taken her.

When she landed in his arms, he’d almost been sick when he felt how cold she was. How limp.

But after a second, she gasped, and coughed, and then she was clinging to him. Shaking.

He couldn’t put her down. She wouldn’t let Marisa take her.

He’d been forced leave the shack while Marisa dealt with the witch’s body and destroyed all the evidence before some local could stumble upon it, and when she’d emerged gray-faced and bloody half an hour later, with the crackle of fire just audible over the steady croak of frogs in the nearby water, he’d known that Marisa wasn’t going on any more hunts.

Lucy still refused to let go of him once they got back to the car, so he’d let Marisa drive them back to town, sitting in the back seat with the kid clinging to his side and sobbing snot into his jacket. He hadn’t even minded. If he didn’t think it would scare her more, he might have let himself cry out of sheer relief at finding her.

Late that night--once Lucy was back with her grandmother, and Marisa was on her way back to San Antonio, and Souffran was far enough in the rearview that it was safe to stop for the night--Dean had called John. He didn’t pick up.

Just sent Dean’s call straight to voicemail, then texted him coordinates for a poltergeist case near Mobile, Alabama an hour later. A few days after that, more coordinates directed him to the voodoo hunt in New Orleans.

So yeah, a witch in Louisiana is not all. Not by a long shot. He doesn’t tell Sam that, though. What would be the point?

“Yeah, that’s all,” he lies, still staring at the gap in the curtains. Another truck rumbles past, air brakes hissing as it slows to take the town exit. It’s so loud that he’s not sure that he’d manage to sleep here even if he wasn’t a headcase. “C’mon, I gotta crash, man.”

For a minute, it seems like Sam’s gonna keep at it. Like he’ll needle at Dean until he spills everything out onto the pilled carpet between them. How scared he is. How angry. How resentful. All the ugliest feelings that seem to be pressing up his throat and onto the back of his tongue like bile.

But he doesn’t. Just sighs, sounding as tired as Dean feels, and says, “Yeah, okay. Night, Dean.”

Dean grunts in reply, and Sam starts snoring after a half hour. Another half hour after that, his nightmares begin. Low, helpless murmurs of Jessica’s name and high-pitched whines of terror that stick in Dean’s chest like buckshot.

With dry eyes and an ever-present lump in his throat, Dean pushes out of bed and heads for the bathroom, taking the laptop as he goes.

If he’s lucky, he’ll find them a hunt before Sam wakes up. He can get them back on the road as soon as the sun rises. Keep them focused on something that isn’t the complete lack of leads on John.

If he’s not, maybe staying up will wear him out enough to sleep tomorrow. He’ll take what he can get.

read again on ao3 | subscribe to series | about the series

#Supernatural Fic #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #the coda project #S01E02 #Wendigo #Episode Coda #2.5k words #gen #rated pg

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starrynite7114 · 4 years ago

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Adore You (EZ Reyes)

A/N: Good evening everyone! I decided to try my hand on EZ, test the waters out. Angel is my ultimate bae, but you know, let’s give little brother some love too! Hope you all enjoy this one! It’s based on Harry Styles song, ‘Adore You’.

I will be posting Things You Never Knew tonight and hopefully Misconstrued in the next few days. Working through the requests as well and the next one will be body art along with a daddy Angel request.

Hope you all are having a good start of the week!

Masterlist

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @trulysuccubus : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @elcococruz : @thickemadame : @iambabyharry : @briana-mishell24 : @briannab1234 : @carlaangel86 : @marvelmaree : @enamoured-x : @encounterthepast : @woahitslucyylu : @jadert15 : @gemini0410 : @whyisgmora

EZ smiled as he watched you dancing with Angel, so happy to finally take that final step with you. You laughed, lighting up the room as cheesy as it sounded. He was content sitting down and watching his dysfunctional family taking turns dancing with you. Looking down at the ring on his left finger, he was always thankful that he decided to take the leap and ask you out on a date all those years ago.

‘I get so lost inside your eyes’

EZ remembered the first time he truly saw your eyes. You always hid behind your black square framed glasses, reading your books during whatever break period you all had. He wasn’t going to lie and say he knew who you were before being paired up with you for a history project. He was hoping to be paired up with a friend of his, and you offered to switch, but after EZ’s eyes connected with yours, he immediately shut the idea down. He couldn’t explain it. It wasn’t even the color of your eyes that captivated him, it was how warm they were. You gave him a small smile and offered your notebook to him so he could jot down ideas for your project.

You knew who Ezekiel Reyes was, it was hard not to. He was the star baseball player, number 15, with the impeccable slide. Scouts were already hounding around him and it definitely helped that he wasn’t your typical idiotic jock.

Nope.

Ezekiel Reyes was incredibly smart.

You’ve been in his classes since you two were in the fourth grade and you used to envy him due to how intelligent he was without trying. But he was always a nice guy, so it was hard not to like him.

But you knew he never noticed you, which wasn’t a problem for you. You were used to not being noticed and with the way your fellow high schoolers were at times, you were glad that they never paid you any mind.

Things changed after that history project in the eleventh grade. You somehow became good friends with EZ. You two weren’t the best of friends, but you definitely considered him a close friend. It was hard to make any mark in EZ’s life at that time since he was irrevocably in love with Emily. You liked Emily, she was a nice girl and smart as well.

Somehow, you and Ezekiel ended up in Stanford. Since you two were the ones from Santo Padre, you two stuck together however, when the whole thing with Marisol occurred, everything changed. You missed him terribly and tried to visit him as often as you could, but you knew that visiting him didn’t do much for him. You could just see his life being sucked out of him and you felt terrible. Your last visit caused a rift between you two and you never recovered after that.

Till he was released from prison.

Five years had passed by then and the next time he locked eyes with you, you were walking out of church with your mother, your older brother and father following behind you two. EZ was with his father and much like years ago, your eyes caught him once again and he couldn’t look away. Angel elbowed him to finally cut the staredown between you two. There was no animosity, you gave him a small smile before following your brother to his vehicle.

“Ooh,” Angel teased his younger brother.

“Shut up.” EZ playfully pushed him away, chuckling at his brother’s stupidly.

The next time he locked eyes with you, you were holding hands with some guy who did not deserve your attention. You looked at him like he held the world and his eyes were on his phone, doing god knows what. EZ passes by you, your eyes connected with his, again, you gave him that small smile you did three weeks ago and he returned your smile.

Was your smile always so breathtaking?

He kept looking at you till you turned the corner. Before you did, you threw him one last smile before disappearing behind the building. EZ wasn’t watching where he was going and ran into a post. Angel was walking out of the carniceria and laughed at his brother.

“Wow. You got it bad.” Angel clapped his hand on his back. “You're really into making your way back down high school pussy lane.”

“Shut up Angel.”

That guy didn’t last long and when EZ saw you next, your eyes locked at one of the few bars in Santo Padre. You were behind the bar, glasses gone, eyeshadow and make up highlighting your features. EZ almost choked on his drink when he saw your clothing, enough was covered, but it definitely left every man in this bar wanting more. He noticed how many men vied for your attention, you rarely man the bar, but your bartender called off due to an exam the next day and you couldn’t possibly say no.

Angel nudged his younger brother, pointing your way.

“Knew there was a reason you decided to blow off some steam here tonight.” Angel whistled, catching your attention. “Preciosa, let me get a beer.”

“If you wanted a beer Ignacio, you should have stayed at the club.”

“You know I come here for you.” He winked as you handed him the beer.

“Better tip me this time,” you shot him a playful glare. “What can I get you Ezekiel?”

Your eyes were different. He didn’t feel the usual warmth and familiarity he felt. This was new. Your eyes were intoxicating, he didn’t notice it’s shade before and he was lost in them.

Angel elbowed his brother, crashing him back to reality.

“Sorry for my little brother’s rudeness, he’ll have milk.”

You laughed as EZ playfully shoved Angel.

“Let me just get a beer too.”

Ezekiel didn’t know what came over him that night, but one of the thoughts that ran through his mind was how he wanted his child to have your eyes, the same warm and inviting eyes he saw whenever he looked into them. The same eyes that dilated so perfectly as he had you gasping, moaning, and screaming his name. Your eyes were the first thing he noticed about you. How perfect they were and how inviting they were. You always tried to hide behind your books, which was fine, but once he came into your life, you couldn’t use your books as an excuse to not befriend people.

He wanted to be your friend. You were definitely more interesting to talk to than some of his friends, hell even Emily at times. The way you snorted whenever he made some corny jokes. He would never tell anyone but the memories you two shared together was what kept him going in prison.

When he got out, his heart yearned for Emily, holding onto past memories that he should have long let go of, especially when he heard that she married Miguel Galindo, but old habits die hard. Emily was his first love and he felt that he owed her some type of penance for the abortion she had to go through alone. But he also found himself seeking you out.

When he realized that the solace he yearned for was no longer with Emily but with you, it hit him hard. He was glad it did, because he would have let you slip from his fingers and he couldn’t have had that.

You don't have to say you love me

You don't have to say nothing

You don't have to say you're mine

EZ walked into the flower shop across the street. He found himself frequenting the shop since your mother owned it. From time to time, you would be there, greeting him with a bright smile, the same glasses on your face. You were a familiar face from his past that didn’t require anything from him. All you wanted was to see him, catch up on pop culture and television shows you two used to frequently watch together, and discuss books you went through while he was in prison. You visited him a few times during his prison stint before you two fell out. EZ couldn’t even remember why you two fought in the first place, but whatever the reason was, he regretted it.

He was happy that you let him back in.

You were sitting inside the shop, buried in your phone. You heard the motorcycle and disregarded it since you felt like it was the one constant thing you’ve been hearing as of late. A sound that made your heart quicken, but you didn’t want to always assume it was EZ, could be anyone.

Looking up when the bell rang indicating someone just walked in, you grinned.

“Hey EZ, what can I get for you?”

“Just browsing.” He didn’t even look around, he always just stayed with you by the counter till a customer came in.

“Feel like you’re loitering.” You teased him.

“That wounds me, I thought we were hanging out.”

You laughed. “Okay, we’re hanging out. Are you too cool to be seen out with me cause you only hang out with me here or behind closed doors.”

EZ frowned at your comment and you immediately took it back. “I’m joking, I didn’t mean it in that way.”

“No, you’re right.” It’s not that EZ didn’t want to be seen with you. You were the breath of fresh air that reminded him that it was great to be out, that all the deceit and hardships were worth it because he got to be near you again.

You didn’t have to say you were his, but in his mind, you were his and eventually, when things settled, he could proudly show it off.

“I get it EZ, we’re just friends when no one is around.”

That wounded EZ. That wasn’t true. But he could see why you would see it in that way. When you two were in Stanford, away from the prying eyes of the people in Santo Padre, things were different, but as soon as you two were home, Emily had all of his attention and you weren’t bitter, she was his girlfriend.

And now.

He’s been out of prison for six months, Angel wasn’t talking to him, which you noticed, but you didn’t ask questions. You were only EZ’s friend at his convenience.

EZ opened his mouth to argue, but the shop door opened and it was the guy you were seeing that walked in. Seemed like a decent guy, definitely better than the other one, but EZ didn’t like him anyway.

Cause he had you.

And he wanted you.

“Enjoy the rest of your day Ezekiel.”

You always called him Ezekiel in front of other people and he wasn’t going to lie and say it didn’t irk him, that it didn’t hurt him when you did that. But again, it seemed like he’s been hurting you all these years without meaning to.

Then it hit him then, he remembered why you two fell out.

You had come to visit him and he wasn’t exactly feeling so hot about himself. So he had the guard pass the message, you were no friend of his and he didn’t want you visiting him anymore.

EZ didn’t want you to waste your time on him when you could be productive with other things. He was a low point at that time and he regretted those words almost as soon as he said them.

After that day, you avoided EZ. You always made sure there was someone at the shop with you so he wouldn’t come in. And you were right, he never came in. He kept his distance and you appreciated it. He said it all those years ago, you two weren’t friends, just convenient companions.

You were closing the shop, double checking the locks when there was a knock on the door. Looking up, you found EZ with your favorite bouquet of flowers. You looked at them then back at EZ. Turning away from the front door, you turned the lights off and made your way to the back where your car was parked. Once you slid in your car, EZ was barely making it around the corner of the building, you pulled out and left EZ.

It was better this way, you and EZ as friends was always a fluke.

But EZ didn’t give up. And next thing you knew, even Angel was bugging you. He would frequent the shop, scaring away the guy you were seeing. You wanted to strangle Angel, you’re not exactly sure what the hell he was doing but you weren’t a fan of it.

On the day of your birthday, your mother told you to be at the flower shop at 1800 sharp since you all were headed to San Diego to have dinner for your birthday. Your mother could be so weird, but you adored her along with your father and brother.

Walking into the shop, you made a face at how dark it was.

“Mom, you know I hate surprises.” You announced. “But if Charlie Hunnam is at the end of this darkness, totally okay.”

You heard a chuckle, but it wasn’t from your mother, it was Ezekiel holding a bouquet of chocolate. Looking behind you, your parents gave you a wave and a thumbs up before leaving. Turning back to face EZ he was still at the same spot.

“Happy birthday Y/N.” He greeted, extending the chocolate towards you.

“Thank you.” You looked around after you took the chocolates. “It’s just you and me?”

“Yeah, I wanted some time with you, before having dinner with your parents. I feel that we’re long overdue for a talk.”

“No, we’re not, it’s okay. I’d rather not have this conversation on my birthday.” You really didn’t. Whatever it was, you and EZ we’re cool. You didn’t want to have that conversation.

“Please, I’m desperate here. I didn’t mean for my actions to be interpreted in that way. You’re my friend, hell, you’re my best friend. It’s been hell without you, with everything going on with Angel, the club, you were my escape. I kept you away because I didn’t want my actions to poison you.” EZ sighed. “It’s stupid, but your my main priority is your safety.”

“EZ, you’re a prospect, what danger could there possibly be? I don’t really think that way, at least not all the time, but be up front, I don’t mind being your secret friend as long as I’m in on the secret as well.”

“I don’t want you to be a secret. You’ve never been a secret. Everyone knows you’re the most important person I care about who isn’t family.” Even though someday, EZ hopes you would become a part of his family. But he didn’t want to get ahead of himself. “I’m sorry, you’re the best part of my life and I don’t want to lose you over a misunderstanding.”

You sighed, a small smile appearing on your face. “You’re not going to stop.”

“You know us Reyes’, we’re stubborn.”

Two months after that, you and EZ were dating. Your relationship was hardly rainbows and sunshine, but you two were the happiest together. Between club business, the cartel and family drama, you and EZ were always busy. So when you found out you were pregnant, a year and half after you and EZ started your relationship, things shifted.

I'd walk through fire for you

You leaned your back against the bathtub, your head against the wall. Pregnancy was tough, especially since EZ had been gone more often. He needed the money and you know he did, for your daughter. Groaning, you really wished pregnancy was easier. The morning sickness was too much to bear at times.

“Mi alma,” EZ frowned, seeing you on the floor with your hair covering your beautiful face. “How long have you been on the floor?”

“I don’t know.” You looked up and gave him a weak smile. “I’m really exhausted.” You were only two months pregnant and you were already suffering. But they said that the morning sickness only lasted till the beginning, that once you entered the second trimester, it was smoother.

EZ helped you up, picking you up in his arms and carrying you over to the bed. He gently placed you under the covers, stripped down to his boxers and slipped in after you. His hand rested on your belly, which was still not showing.

“I’m so happy your home.”

And he would always make it home. He would walk through fire and hell to assure he’d come back to you.

“I’ll always come home to you. I love you.” He turned you to face him, caressing your face. He kissed you, always missing the feel of your lips on his. “One day, we’re going to get married and you’ll definitely won’t be able to get rid of me.”

“I love you too.” You smiled. “If I wanted to get rid of you, I would have continued to ignore you after that fight we had when you got out.”

“You’re not my secret, I hope you know that. I just wanted to keep you safe.” His thumb caressed your thumb, hoping to wipe the worry away.

“I know.”

EZ watched as you and your daughter, Sophia, danced with Felipe. Sophia was a bubbly two year old who had her mother’s eyes. Whatever she wanted, she got, since she had the Reyes men at her beck and call. He remembered your reluctance to get married, not truly seeing the point as you and EZ were committed as could be.

You were the only woman he knew that had to be convinced to get married.

It was ridiculous.

Just let me adore you

“That’s fucking ridiculous, what you mean she doesn’t want to get married?” Angel sat down by the dining table, holding Sophia in his arms. “Mamas, your mom is crazy.”

Sophia giggled which made both her father and uncle smile. Anything she did, it elicited a smile from those around her.

“Right? She was reasoning how it’s just for tax purposes, which it is, but I love her, I want us all to share a last name.” EZ put the last of the dishes away. You were at work so Angel came over per EZ’s request.

He wanted to show big brother the ring he got for you.

EZ took the box that’s been weighing heavy in his pocket. He extended his hand to Angel, who took the box in his hand. Opening it, Angel whistled.

“Oh, that’s a rock.” Angel showed it to Sophia. “Isn’t it beautiful? When you get married at sixty-five, you’re gonna get a ring just like this.”

EZ chuckled. “She’s never gonna get married.”

“You’re telling me. Alena came home the other day and told me she had a boyfriend, I almost had a heart attack.” Six year old Alena Reyes has all of her tio’s wrapped around her fingers. Angel couldn’t even wrap his mind around it, but Alena explained to him that it was a boy who was a friend. That explanation would suffice, till she was sixteen. Angel was not looking forward to that.

“She’s gonna be a handful when she’s a teenager.”

“Can we not talk about it?”

EZ laughed. Angel handed the box back to him. They heard the door open and your announcement that you were home.

“You cool with taking her tonight?”

“Yes, I can take care of your daughter, look how well Alena turned out.” Angel proudly informed him.

“Still think it was all your wife.”

“Fuck you.”

You walked in and found Angel standing up, grabbing Sophia’s bag.

“What’s going on?” You looked at the two Reyes brothers, eyeing them suspiciously.

“Babe, I told you we were going out to dinner tonight, remember?” EZ gave you a kiss as a greeting.

“Oh, right, sorry,” you gave him a sheepish smile. “I’ll go get ready.” You walked over to Sophia, giving your daughter a kiss on the cheek. “Bye baby, have fun with Tio Angel, remember to pull his beard.”

“Hey!” Angel glared at you causing you to laugh harder. “That shit hurts.”

You left the two brothers at the kitchen to dress up. Angel looked at EZ and shook his head.

“You sure she’s the one man? Cause once you put a ring on it, that’s it.”

EZ chuckled. “I’m sure man, I think I’ve been sure since I was in prison and she was the only thing I could think of. I love her Angel.”

“I know you do, congratulations hermano.”

He proposed to you that night and you said yes. Even though you weren’t a strong believer of marriage, how could you say no to the man who had your heart all these years. It was the next step for you two and you were ready to embark on it. What made it better, you two were able to share it with Sophia, who was your flower girl.

EZ stood up and made his way over to you.

“Pops, can you take Sophia? I want to dance with my wife.”

Felipe gladly took Sophia from her mother’s arms. You turned to face EZ, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Are you having fun?” EZ asked.

“Yes, this has been amazing.” You gave him a kiss, EZ smiling against your lips.

“And you didn’t want a wedding.” EZ teased.

“Whatever, you know why I didn’t want one.” You chuckled. “But I’m glad you convinced me, it’s really hard to say no to you.”

“I’m pretty good with persuasion as you know you.” He smirked.

“Are we talking about the time we conceive Sophia or the time you forced me to do a presentation for history class even though we could have just written a paper?”

EZ laughed. “It was extra points if we presented.”

“You know I hate talking in front of people.”

“I love hearing you though.”

You blushed, not even surprised how charming EZ could still be after all these years.

“You want to know something?”

“Hmm,” you looked up at him.

“Even after all these years, your eyes still get me.”

“What?” You gave him a confused look.

“It was your eyes, everytime I looked into them, it was something else.” EZ grinned. “Whenever I would look into them, I would get so lost, I would do anything for you.”

“My eyes?” EZ never told you before that he liked your eyes, though, he always did stare into them.

“Yeah, when we first met, you looked up at me and I don’t know, I was fucking blown away. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true.”

“You were with Emily then.”

“That’s not the point, I’m just letting you know, that you’ve had me wrapped around your fingers since then.”

You rolled your eyes, chuckling. “You’re such a dork, I’m pretty sure you were devoted to Emily then.”

“I was, but I always seeked you out.” EZ pulled you closer, cupping your face and kissing you again. “You’re the person I adore most, the person I love most.”

“I love you too EZ, and I’m sure our baby will love you as much as Sophie does.” You placed his hand on your belly. “I’m pregnant, four months along.”

EZ’s lips broke out into a grin. “Yeah? We’re pregnant?”

You nodded your head. EZ lifted you up, causing you to shriek. He put you down and kissed you. Once he pulled away, he made the announcement that you were pregnant, earning cheers from all the guests. They tapped their glasses with their utensils, signaling a kiss. EZ gladly kissed you, overjoyed.

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

#ez reyes #ezekiel reyes #ez reyes fanfic #ez reyes fanfiction #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic

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yourmidnightlover · 4 years ago

Text

SSA Hotchner: chapter 5 - childhood

TW: case-typical violence, case involving child abuse, description of abuse, panic attack, kiss *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 6,421

————————————————————————

two weeks had gone by before you had gotten a new case with the team. it had been pretty slow, something you were rather grateful for. but you could guess it was just the calm before the storm.

just being called in so early left everyone on edge as you entered the bau, drudging into the conference room to be briefed on the new case. you sat in the chair beside derek and spencer as you waited for penelope to enter the room.

"alright my friends this case isn't very bright," penelope greeted upon entering the room. "although none of what you do is bright. anyway, there have been three murders along the gulf coast of men. they are manually strangled and then... well, you can check that out on your tablets," she motioned as she took a seat at the table.

"they're thrown away like garbage," you spoke up. "he has a complete lack of remorse for these men."

"the manual strangulation suggests that the unsub is passionate about this kill," spencer added.

"they were only a week apart and the last death was three days ago," derek reminded us.

"which is exactly why we need to leave soon," aaron told the table. "wheels up in 30."

—

you sat on the chair across from the couch that spencer was sitting on. morgan was beside you as emily and jj were in the seats across the table. hotch and rossi sat facing one another.

"so there are ligature marks and bruising which suggests torture post-mortem," rossi stated as he browsed on his tablet, his face grimacing as he scrolled upon a particularly gruesome photo.

"maybe these men remind him of someone from his past that wronged him?" emily guessed, looking towards you for agreement. "or he could feel emasculated by these men."

"the guys he's killing don't scream "tough guy" to me," you shrugged.

"okay so back to the man that wronged him theory..." jj spoke up. "maybe he's warming up to this specific guy?"

"if that's true then he's going to wait until he perfects his kill," derek stated.

"and from the looks of it he still has a long way to go until it's perfect," rossi scoffed.

"we need to look into these victims lives," aaron interrupted. "figure out what overlaps with what. something about these guys makes the unsub want to kill them and we need to figure it out. i want emily, y/n, and spencer to go to the most recent victims house and talk to their wives," you three nodded in agreement. "rossi and morgan go to the morgue to analyze the body further. jj you're with me at the precinct to see what the locals know."

—

you sat in the passenger seat, theories running through your mind about what could have been going on that made them a target for such murder. each of the men had children and wives, a life waiting for them at home. they had good jobs, they were financially stable so they wouldn't have owed anybody money.

"whatcha thinkin over there?" emily asked, peering over at your clearly confused state.

"just how it doesn't make sense that these men were killed," you furrowed your brows. "they had a family, a life to go back to. it just... it's not right."

"that's why we're here," spencer spoke up from the back seat. "to figure out why this is happening and put the killer away."

"i know," you sighed, turning to look out the window once more. "... i know."

"we'll figure it out, y/n," emily placed her hand comfortingly on your thigh. "we always do," she gave you a smile.

"right," you have her a tight-lipped smile in return.

once you arrived at the most recent victim's, christopher taylor's, house, you both noticed how nice the neighborhood was. it was a huge, two story house with an equally large backyard with a pool.

it reminded you a lot of your childhood home - the late nights beside the pool, waiting for your dad to get back home with you brothers, long before dad turned to alcohol. and then the very same house was tainted with violence and screaming, fears and hiding from your own dad.

not now, you thought. i need to focus.

walking up to the door, you rang the doorbell apprehensively, a little nervous to meet the grieving family. after a few seconds, the wife opened the door with a, clearly fake, smile adorned on her face.

"hi," the wife, stephanie, greeted you. "come on in," she stepped aside to allow you three inside.

"thank you, ma'am," you thanked her as you stepped inside. "i'm so sorry for your loss."

"oh um..." she trailed off. "thank you, it means a lot," she guided you all to the living room. "please, uhm - please, have a seat."

you sat between spencer and emily as stephanie sat on a chair adjacent to the couch, facing you all.

"would you like anything to drink? water? tea?" she asked eagerly before a child came running down the stairs, making their way beside their mom. "what're you doing, love bug? mommy has to talk to the police," she said sweetly to the 6-year old child.

"when's daddy coming home?" he asked with a sad tone, but something didn't sit right with you.

"he's not," she sighed as she placed a kiss to his hairline.

"what?" he asked in surprise. "he's not coming home?" his eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened in shock.

"no, he's not, bug," she brushed his hair behind his ears, clearly trying to ground herself and not break down.

"here," emily spoke up. "why don't you go with ms. hotch and dr. reid and show them your room?" emily said excitedly to distract the child.

"yes! i just got a new race car i can show you!" he exclaimed as he jumped down from his mom's lap.

you and spencer gave her a smile as you got up from the couch, following the eager child up the stairs to his, rather large, room.

the room was spotless, not a toy out of place from his shelf as his bed was perfectly made. a little boy's room, especially one this young, would normally be a bit more disorganized. he didn't have any colorful art on his wall, no important pictures adorning his wall either. the personal aspect of his room was lost within the blue and yellow wallpaper, trapping his childhood and joy in the obvious restrictions placed on him by... not his mother.

she was loving and kind to him, she didn't fake her adoration for her child. so it was probably his dad, placing responsibility on him by making him be the "man of the house" at such a young age. but how far down did that responsibility go?

"hey james," you bent down to his level, speaking in a high register voice. "how about that car?"

"dad won't let me play with it because it's a collectible car but it looks really cool on the shelf!" he pointed up on the shelf to a level he wouldn't be able to reach. "super cool, right?"

"so cool, little man!" you exclaimed. "did your dad not let you play with these other cars?" you asked curiously.

"only at a specific time with his permission. he doesn't want me to break anything again, and neither do i..." he trailed off with big eyes, reliving the time he might've once broken an item.

"what happened when you broke something," spencer piped in, bending down to his level to talk in the same voice you had earlier.

"oh, that," he sighed as he sat down in the chair by his desk. "one time i was playing with a car i got for my birthday when he didn't tell me i could and then when i accidentally knocked over a vase in the living room, he wouldn't let me play with them for a whole week! then he started yelling at mommy for letting me make the mess so i told him it was my fault and he spanked me really hard because i was being bad. so now i don't touch my toys unless he says so," the boy shrugged.

"where did your dad spank you, james?" you asked l, apprehensive of the response.

"he spanked me with his belt on my back, but the bruises went away after a while," he shrugged.

you looked over at spencer, giving him a look that you shared. the little boy didn't know he was a victim of abuse. then that feeling filled back up inside of you... the feeling of fear and worry.

no, you thought once more. i have to focus.

"you won't have to worry about that anymore, buddy," you gave him an apathetic smile, rubbing his back gently.

"i miss my dad," he frowned, walking closer into your touch.

"i know buddy," you enveloped him in your arms, brushing through the hair on his scalp to try and calm him down.

because you understood the pain. you didn't know why your dad had been so cruel, but that didn't stop you from missing him after his death. the confusion, the mixed emotions. while you wouldn't have to face the harshness of his hand or the angry tone of his voice, you would never get to ask him why. why he was so angry all the time? why he would always blame his family for a rough case? why he ruined your childhood...

"hey guys," emily knocked on his door. "we can uhh... make our way out now."

"alright," you pulled back from james. "if you need anything, ask your mom to call ms. y/n, alright? she has my number."

"alright ms. y/n," james agreed, wiping the tears from his face.

"i know how confusing you must feel right now, james. but just know how much your mom loves you," you smiled. "and know that you didn't deserve anything your dad did to you. it's not your fault, none of it was."

"thank you," he grinned weakly before you stood up and left the room, not failing to give him a kind smile as you walked out of the room.

when you caught up with spencer and emily, you joined them in the car.

"christopher was abusive," emily said blatantly.

"he beat james and yelled at his mom because james had broken a vase," you informed emily.

"he would constantly abuse his wife, verbally and physically. she tried to deny it before she just admitted outright that he was violent and aggressive," she told you and spencer. "are you gonna be alright on this case?" she looked over at you.

"yea, of course," you chuckled before giving her a look and adding, "why wouldn't i be?"

"right," she nodded curtly. "sorry."

spencer wasn't stupid.

he was a profiler. he could pick up on your odd behavior. the way you comforted james was all too familiar to you, as if someone had comforted you that way as a child. and he heard the way you reassured james about his father's violence. while in the back of his mind all he could focus on was how great you were to the child, imagining you as a mother yourself, possibly to his children - which he knows is extremely premature - he couldn't help but profile how you had acted. but he also wanted you to want to open up to him about it, so he wouldn't bring anything up.

so he acted like he wasn't there.

—

"alright, so we're presenting the profile in a half hour," aaron announced to the team. "we need to emphasize the importance of keeping this under wraps. this unsub is killing for attention, we shouldn't give it to him because that would make him kill even more."

maybe you were anxious. scratch that. you were anxious. how were you supposed to catch a killer ridding the world of abusive fathers? an unsub who was abused himself and wanted to lessen the pain of wives and children? it just didn't make sense to you, which wasn't ideal since you had to catch the killer, no matter what it took.

"y/n?" spencer's voice broke you from your own thoughts, you hummed in response. "you alright? you were pretty out of it there."

"right... sorry," you chuckled. "i'm alright," a pitiful smiled displayed on your lips.

"are you sure?" he placed a gentle hand on your back before sitting in the seat beside you. "if you need to talk about it, now or later, i'm always open."

"thank you, seriously, but i'm alright," you assured him, placing a hand on his forearm.

he opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by morgan knocking on the door, announcing that they were preparing for the profile outside.

you walked out into the pit, helping set the board up with the information you had found out about the victims. you turned around, facing the entire police station, ready to tell them about the killer who was bound to go on a spree.

as your brother began speaking, you got lost in your own thoughts once again. wondering if you would have to kill the unsub. wondering what would happen to all of the others business fathers and families if nobody stopped their torment.

thoughts... memories... emotions flooded your memory. your mind was clouded by the past.

your heart began racing.

your vision blurred.

before you knew it, your feet were carrying you out of the building, trying to get yourself some fresh air. you sat down on a nearby bench and buried your face in your hands, between your knees. once you felt your breathing had evened out, you rose your head from between your knees to take a deep breath. you wiped your face if any remaining tears just in time, because spencer slowly sat down beside you on the bench, a pitiful smile on his face.

"what?" you huffed, placing your head back into your hands.

"you just..." he trailed off. "i know something's wrong, y/n. whether or not you'll admit it, which you need to do. pushing it all down won't help anything."

"i'm fine, spencer!" you shouted. "god, why can't you just accept that i'm fine? i'm alright. i'm totally fine with the fact that we have to imprison a guy who's killing terrible fathers and probably making the world a better place! i'm fine with the fact that the families are better off with those men dead! and most of all, i'm fine with the fact that my dad is dead and i don't have any answers as to why he..." you trailed off, sighing as you calmed down a little bit. "i'm sorry."

"you don't have to be sorry," he smiled, placing a hand on your back. "look... i didn't want to say anything, but i think i know what's wrong."

you lifted your head to see him, "you do?"

"yea, i do," he reached over to wipe the tears you didn't know were still flowing off your cheeks. "you don't have to talk about it yet, or with me at all. but when it gets too bad and you need to speak with somebody just know i'm here."

you didn't really know what to say. you yelled at him and he's offering you support. what would've normally warranted someone getting angry and storming off made him kind and supportive.

"uhm, than-thank you," you leaned into his touch, eyeing his lips as he did yours.

you brought your hands to hold his forearms and cup the back of his neck. you pulled him in closer to your face slowly, both unaware of why you were doing so but feeling the need to. like a moth drawn to a flame, you had to have him. you had to know what his lips felt like against yours, what he tasted like. would he passionate, or gentle? maybe a mixture of both. regardless, you had to know. you had to find out.

and then emily busted through the doors of the station, leaving the two of you to jump to opposite sides of the bench.

"y/n," she greeted you, her brows furrowing when she saw spencer with you. "... and spencer... are you alright-y/n, that is."

"uhm," you cleared your throat, rubbing the back of your neck. "yea, i'm all good," you eyed spencer, who was staring straight at you, surely wondering what would've happened if emily hadn't came out of the building.

you almost kissed spencer. you wanted to kiss spencer. you still want to kiss him.

"spencer here talked me through it," you chuckled, nudging his shoulder slightly to draw his attention back to emily, away from you.

"yup," he gave a tight-lipped smile.

"oh, that's a relief," emily sighed. "well garcia called in the middle of the profile and said she created a possible victim list the unsub might target next based on the geo profile reid created."

"that's great! how long is the list?" you asked eagerly, leaning forward to show your engagement.

"there are 4 possible locations and because the unsub has been decreasing his cool-down period, we should all split up and go to each house to ensure their safety," emily listed off to the two of you. "i'm here to tell you how were splitting up. it'll be you two, morgan and i, jj and hotch and rossi will be by himself. there sending a few swat agents with each of us to ensure safety."

"alright. i'm assuming garcia will send us the address?" spencer asked.

"yup. they should be on your phones now," she confirmed. "we're still going to try and connect leads while separated, this is purely just a caution so we don't have any more victims while we're here."

"of course. that makes sense," you agreed.

"alright, well, you have the keys to an suv?" she asked, making sure you could drive yourselves to the location.

"yup, they're right here," you dig into your pocket and showed her the keys.

"so i'm gonna go see if morgan is ready to go," she announced as she walked back into the station, the two of you following behind to grab your go-bags.

when you arrived at the o'connell's home, you were quieter than anyone had expected. could anyone blame you? you were in the house of an abusive father in order to protect him.

"alright," the mother, julie, began, "i've set up the spare room for the two of you, if you decide to rest, that is. it's right by the front of the house, so if anything happens you would be right there."

"alright, ma'am," you smiled. "thank you."

"i'll be in my room if you need me; jonny is in his room, and my husband will be with me," she announced before walking up the stairs to her room that was adjacent to jonny's.

"i don't think i'll be able to sleep," you whispered to spencer once you had gotten into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. spencer sat down beside you, placing a gentle hand on your knee.

"okay," he squeezed with the slightest pressure, only enough to ensure you knew he was there.

"maybe that's best. so i'll be fully alert if the unsub gets here while you're asleep," you stared blankly at the floor, your feet dangling off the edge of the bed.

"you'll wake me up if he does come?" spencer asked for the reassurance; you nodded your head 'yes.'

you finally broke your attention from the floor and scooched up to the headboard of the bed, your back against it. you looked over at spencer who was just staring at you confused.

"are you gonna sleep or what?" you smiled before he returned the favor, scooting up to meet you on the bed, only he rested his head on a pillow.

after about two minutes, you felt his arm being thrown over your lap, moving you closer to him before he nuzzled into your stomach. he used his other arm to secure your position with him, sighing into your tummy contently. you brought your hand to his hair and began playing with it mindlessly.

you didn't sleep at all.

you were wide awake while tracing spencer's skin or playing with his hair. nobody came-not even a car drove by. spencer had woken up at one point, only for you to hum him back to sleep after ensuring that everything was alright.

garcia had gotten a list of the possible unsubs, everyone who had abusive parents, anger issues, and lived 5-10 miles around the comfort zone. you studied the files the entire day, not having a single break through. it was very dull.

the next night, however, was a bit more hectic.

you had been awake for over 36 hours, so you had been feeling that tired-high that kept you going. this time, you were reading a book spencer had let you borrow when you heard something at the back door. your phone was in your bag, which was in the living room. luckily, you had your gun beside the bed, like always. you maneuvered around spencer so you could stand up, wanting to be sure there was danger before disturbing him.

you recalled the facts of the case - the profile.

he would enter through the front door, clearly not this time since he had heard of the police presence. he would ensure the child's sleeping before subduing the wife in order to strangle the husband.

which meant you needed to go check on jonny.

you carefully trudged up the stairs, gun in hand as you made your way to his room. the door was cracked open, so you carefully peered inside. the man was hovering over the child, stroking his hair softly.

in order to ensure the child's safety, you backed away from the door so you could attack as he exited. you didn't expect the floor to creak - rather loudly - as you retreated.

you looked up to see the unsub wrangle jonny in his arms before you came through the door, gun ready and raised.

"let him go!" you sternly ordered as you realized who the unsub was.

michael burns.

his father had been so abusive, he not only killed his mother but almost killed him. he was 7 when he saw them get into a heated argument, his father ended up beating his mother to a pulp that night.

"no! i'm saving him!" he shouted back, pointing his gun at jonny's head.

you heard footsteps behind you, leading down the stairs. it was spencer taking the parents out of the house.

"do you really think killing him would be saving him, michael?" you asked in a soft, concerned voice.

"i wish someone had done it for me! it would've saved me all the pain!" he cried out, you felt his pain through his voice.

"i know you think that would've saved you from the pain, but how do you know what's best for jonny?" you asked.

"because i do!" he pushed the gun further into jonny's head, hearing jonny's whines echo even more. "put your gun down before i shoot him!" he ordered.

"okay, okay," you bent down on the floor, placing your gun down before you heard footsteps approach behind you.

"put the gun down!" spencer had ordered from behind you, you turned around to see him in a bullet-proof vest, gun raised directly at michael.

"no! NO!" he angrily chanted back at spencer.

"michael, focus on me," you put your hands out and up in defense. "just let jonny go, alright. we'll make sure his father pays for what he's doing to him and his mother."

"no you won't! it never works!" he held onto jonny tighter.

"i promise you, i promise, that we will make it work. we will make sure that jonny is never hurt again. we'll make sure his father goes to prison for a long time, alright?" you slowly walked closer to him, so he pointed his gun at you instead of the child. "see? that wasn't so hard, right?"

"stop it!" he ordered so you stopped your movements forward.

"it's alright," you softly announced before asking. "me for him, alright? just... just let him go."

"you're lying!"

"no, i'm not. i swear to you i'm not. i understand what you went through, okay? i know what it's like to not understand what you did to deserve the abuse and hurt your father put you through. but killing jonny won't fix anything," you told him, he softened a bit from what you revealed. "i had my brothers by my side when that would happen, so i can't imagine how much worse it was for you, michael. but i know that jonny deserves to live. he deserves to see tomorrow and feel the love he deserves, right?"

he slowly released his grip on the child, jonny ran straight into your arms as spencer grabbed his handcuffs and put them on michael, reading him his miranda rights.

"keep jonny safe. keep michael safe!" michael announced as he was escorted out of the room by spencer.

jonny was crying in your arms, clinging tightly to your shirt as he tried to calm himself down. but he didn't need to calm down. he needed to let it out. he deserved to let it all out. he deserved to cry as much as he wanted. and you couldn't help but cry with him. you tried to hold it all in, to be strong for the child in your arms, but you cracked the slightest bit as you felt him quivering in your arms.

"let it out jonny," you stroked his hair. "you're safe now," you placed a kiss on his hairline. "you're safe."

"thank you ms. y/n," he whispered a few minutes after he stopped crying, allowing you to pick him up and carry him to the back of an ambulance.

you didn't even know where his parents were. and quite frankly, you didn't care. you just needed jonny to be safe.

"it was absolutely no problem," you held his hand as the paramedics checked him out.

he didn't want to leave your side at all. when you went back to the precinct, he sat in your lap on the drive there and while you waited for his grandparents to arrive to pick him up at the police station. he cried when he had to go with them, not wanting to leave you after everything that had happened. so, upon his leaving, you made sure to give his grandparents your number so he could call you when he wanted to.

his grandparents were his mom's parents and were very kind people. you knew they wouldn't hurt him as his mom went through her in-patient victim counseling and his father was in jail.

"i don't wanna go," jonny whispered into your neck.

"i know, but nana and pawpaw are really sweet, right?" he nodded his head. "so if you ever need to talk to me, you can ask them to call and they will. i promise i will always answer," you squeezed him a bit tighter before releasing him from your embrace.

once boarding the plane, it was only five minutes after takeoff that you felt your phone ringing. you excused yourself as you took the call at the back of the plane. everyone noticed your exit.

"you think she'll be alright?" morgan asked spencer, whose gaze was still on where you had walked off.

"she's strong, independent, and resilient," spencer replied.

"that doesn't answer the question, reid," he squinted his eyebrows at the younger man, his attention finally going back to morgan.

"i think... i think she needs to work through her past. and we all have things we need to work through - myself included. i just want her to feel comfortable enough with us to... open up," the brunette doctor sighed, focusing back on his book for a millisecond.

"you like her," morgan smiled, jolting spencer's attention back onto morgan.

"what? why would y- you can't- just... shut up," he smiled, rolling his eyes at the more than accurate accusation.

"alright, pretty ricky," morgan chuckled, raising his hands as you came back to sit beside spencer, mumbling a gentle 'sorry.'

"was that jonny?" spencer asked quietly.

"mhmm," you smiled. "he's settled in at his grandparents house already. he said that they're already super nice to him and let him have dessert before dinner," you laughed quietly, yawning softly halfway through.

"you haven't slept in 47 hours," spencer announced. "try to rest."

"right, i probably should," you smiled before trying to get comfortable in your seat.

"you can lay in my lap if you'd prefer," he offered, lifting the armrest that was separating your seats.

"really?" he nodded his head before you curled your legs behind you in your seat.

you rested your head in his lap, your face nuzzled into his tummy as your arms mindlessly took his torso in your arms, much like he had the past couple of nights.

spencer had begun tracing the skin along your arm and running his hand through your hair as you slept. he smiled when he felt you squeeze him the slightest bit tighter in your sleep.

"pretty boy," morgan laughed at him. "you've got it bad, don't you?"

"again," he started. "shut up. she's sleeping; she hasn't rested in 47 hours."

morgan raised his hands in defense, knowing there was no other way to get himself out of trouble with spencer unless he just shut his mouth.

aaron knew his sister. he knew how she acted when she had a crush. he also knew how she acted when she was afraid of said crush. which means he knew that she had a bit more than a crush on spencer. you had been clinging to him in your sleep but when you were awake you tried to hide your need to do so. needless to say... you've got it bad for spencer. and aaron didn't even care because he thought - no, he knew - spencer was good for you.

"y/n," he whispered, gently nudging your shoulders to wake you. "we're back now."

you opened your eyes to see you were in a bureau-issued car. you wondered how you had gotten there before spencer informed you, "you were so knocked out i just carried you in here, don't worry," he stroked your hair as you sat straight up, rubbing the remnants of sleep from your eyes.

"uhm, thank you," you stretched your back before you got out of the car, grabbing your things and making your way back inside the building, stumbling over your own feet as you do so.

once you were inside and grabbed your keys, aaron was behind you and cleared his throat to announce his presence. you turned around slowly, brows furrowed as you made eye contact with him.

"i don't think you're awake enough to make the drive back to your place," he said in his protective voice.

"are you kidding? what should i do? just stay here tonight?" you scoffed.

"no, reid will take you home," he motioned his head towards spencer, whose attention was just caught with his name being said.

"sir?"

"you're going to take y/n home and make sure she gets inside safely," hotch practically demanded, you sighed.

"sounds good," he did his signature 'white guy smile' before you handed your keys over.

"you get the weekend off!" he called out to the two of you as you walked away.

you nearly fell as you walked to the elevator so spencer had put his arm around you to keep you balanced. you leaned into his touch as he guided you to your car, helping you get in before he went to the driver's side.

"thanks for driving me," you mumbled as he drove.

"you're welcome," he smiled, looking over at your resting state.

your eyes were closed as your head lolled forward in the seat. he slowed the car down before he reached over, pushing your head to the side so you would curl into the seat, preventing you from getting a crick in your neck. you brought your hand to cup his as it lay over your shoulder, bringing it down to your lap and intertwining your fingers. he rubbed circles on the back of your hand as you fell asleep once again.

when you woke up, you were being carried up to your room by spencer. your arms were around his neck and your head rested against his chest - a rather firm chest. you squinted your eyes as they adjusted to the darkness.

"shh," he whispered to you. "i'm just gonna lay you down and head out, alright?"

"mm-mmm," you disagreed.

"no? you don't want to lay down?" he asked as he stopped in the doorway of your room.

"don't go," you pushed your head into his chest, breathing in the scent of him.

"what?" he asked as he continued his trek into your room, moving the sheets down so he could lay you down peacefully.

"stay here - with me," you held onto his hand limply to keep him from going. "please?" your eyes were a little glassy from the lack of sleep you had gotten.

"are you sure you want me to-" you interrupted him as he released your hand so he could take your shoes off for you.

"i don't want to be alone right now. so please just - just stay here," you tried to reason with him, pleading all that you could with as tired as you were.

"okay, i'll stay," he whispered, pressing a kiss to your hairline before walking to the other side of your bed, presumably kicking his shoes off somewhere along the way.

when he finally made his way into the bed, you turned on your side to face him. you brought your hand to cup the side of his face gently, stroking the light stubble that traced along his face.

"when i was around 3, i believe, my dad started drinking," you began speaking to him softly. h brought his hand up to cover the one that was on his face.

"you don't have to tell me yet if you're not ready," he reminded you, squeezing your hand tenderly.

"i know. i'm ready now," you took a deep breath before continuing. "the stress from his job was a bit much - being a lawyer would do that to you," you chuckled. "he drank every day and when he would get back home from a rough case, he started to get aggressive. at first, it was just with his words but then... then it got physical."

spencer saw your eyes water as you continued telling him the history of your childhood. the pain, torment, trouble you went through as a child - a toddler. he couldn't help but realize that that's why hotch is the way he is. that's why he's guarded and stern - protective. he's just been accustomed to it since he was a child. he turned his face to press a gentle kiss to your palm, bringing a faint smile to your face.

"he first hit my mom. one day, i tried to stop him from hitting her," the tear trailed down your cheek. "only he hit me instead," spencer wiped it for you, keeping his hand there. "aaron and sean were always out for football practice or something with school. it was never their fault. i was just... i didn't realize that it was wrong, i suppose. i thought that i had done something wrong, so i'm getting punished. it made sense to me," you shrugged.

"but when aaron and sean were there one night when dad was angry, aaron had come out of his room and pulled dad off of me," you choked on a sob. "that night was a really bad one," you recalled. "but... as time went on, dad's health got worse. eventually, he died; he had a heart attack," you sighed. "and with his life went my answers as to why he did what he did."

there was a moment of silence between you two as if he needed the time to digest what he had been told. only he wasn't digesting it. he was more so admiring you. admiring your strength and persistence.

"some people say that a common trauma response in childhood results in just forgetting that it ever happened," you broke the silence. "i wish i had forgotten. i-i wish i had never remembered the man my father was. part of me feels terrible for saying this but i hate him."

"you aren't terrible for that," now spencer's face had tears that you wiped. "that's a more common response to trauma than forgetting it happened. please just don't say you're horrible for living through what you did. you're not terrible. saying 'you're terrible' is a paradox itself," you sniffled, smiling at his joke. "there she is," he smiled, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip, watching as it bounced back into place.

"spencer..." your voice trailed off as your face inched closer to his.

and that curiosity you felt only days earlier of wanting - needing - to feel, and taste him was relinquished. your hand brought his chin closer to yours to connect your lips. it was a tame and light kiss as if he were frightened he might hurt you. it was when you applied more passion and fervent that he reciprocated the eagerness.

when you finally pulled back for air, his hand had been tangled in your hair as yours grasped his chin in an attempt to keep him here.

"wow," he whispered against your lips.

"yea... wow," you chuckled against his skin.

and for one moment you felt at peace with your past. you felt hopeful for your future. possibly the future you might have with spencer, if you'd let yourself think that.

but soon that moment would end and along with it the hopes of a future with spencer. the sun would set and rise as it once had with your mind racing along with the 'what-if's and 'maybe's.

but for now, you had spencer. and peace. and quiet. and sleep.

i don’t know if my current taglist would like to be added to the series taglist, but if you do please let me know!

#ssa hotchner #y/n hotchner #hotch #spencer reid x reader #Spencer Reid series

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