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banqdanfnfic · 4 years ago

Text

which, as they kiss, consume | jjk

you just wanted to get a tattoo from your boyfriend

pairing: tattoo artist!jk x reader

genre: established relationships au, tattoo artist au, smut

word count: 4k

warnings: unprotected sex, biting, making out, grinding, licking, nipple play, jk has a lip ring, oral (f receiving), fingering, shy jk and oc, sexual tension, slight choking, slight aftercare

♫ : Streets by Doja Cat, Candy by Doja Cat

♡ Aesthetics: Playlist | Moodboard

He visibly chokes on his glass of beer as he almost snaps his neck to meet your gaze. He could say that you were awfully drunk and hence the sudden confession out of the blue, but behind your heavy lidded eyes, Jungkook could sense that you were serious.

“You what?”, he gulps abruptly, moving closer to your face, doe eyes pleading to repeat yourself.

“Yes Kook. I want that tattoo on my breasts. I’ve decided”.

It’s not that Jungkook didn’t have experience in his career with inking on different parts of a human body. He just had never given a tattoo to someone who is romantically associated with him and the thought of seeing you half naked made him chuck down the rest of his drink in one go.

The most physical he had ever gotten with you was a kiss shared occasionally since it’s only been over two weeks you had started dating. Okay maybe you made out once in his car but that’s it. It never got to the point of shedding clothes or anything intense.

“Are you sure?”

You giggle at the sudden hoarseness in his voice and nod positive. Ironic how his aura never matched his personality. His inked skin, athletic body proportions covered in black monochrome bad boy outfits gave out default energy that he is a local heartthrob with multiple chicks wrapped around his finger each night and a heavy demeanor to carry in his smirk.

You were one of those believers until Jungkook asked you out in the most hopeless romantic way possible after constantly visiting the café you work in, a few shops besides his parlor. He was a gentleman with respectful boundaries, warm hands to hold yours and sweet sensual kisses though you are pretty sure he probably has a good game.

For any outsider it looked like those cliché bad boy and shy girl love stories, but for real both of you were a good percentage of introverts.

Jungkook runs his tongue around his lip ring while he is stressfully ruffling his dark locks into a mess. He is trying to explain his reasons to postpone your decision considering how shy he got at this point. But then that’s exactly why you were requesting him with soft eyes, it would be so uncomfortable to be shirtless in front of anybody else. Or maybe it’s your way of saying the relationship is open for higher levels of physical affection.

After debating around in vain, he finally hums and clears one of his slots for his beloved client.

Friday approaches way quicker than you assumed and now your heart is beating in your throat. Right after you are done cleaning the tables, you have to make it to Jungkook’s parlor for your appointment.

Running on three hours of sleep, black under eyes even after a decent amount of makeup, you groan as you check yourself out in the mirror. You opted for a simple shirt and skirt (also known as the outfit you bought for occasions with Jungkook), light beach waves resting on your shoulders. Hoping that a few cups of coffee will save you, you stride across the street to stop before the infamous parlor he worked in. Hopefully the full body shave and chocolate body butter has kept its excellence on your skin below the clothing.

The door chimes as it opens with a dragged creak on the musky wooden flooring. It felt like an otherworld where air smelled like men’s perfume and faint tint of cigarettes. In other words, intoxicating.

You ask the first person you meet at the reception, one of Jungkook’s companions at the shop and he assists you to his cabin located at a comfortably remote location.

His space is hidden with a simple black curtain. You are met with Jungkook’s back facing you, working determinately on a client’s arm and cares to spare a glance only when the guy with you is informing him about your presence.

“This will be over in a few”, he grins to your face and goes back to focusing his coil on the skin of a woman in her late twenties laying down his chair. The vibration from his inking machine fills in the silence and you excuse yourself to sit on a small black couch beside them.

This was the first time watching him at work and now you can understand why people rumored so much about his attitude because damn it is intimidating.

Brows knit together and inked muscles flex as he drags the needles around for finishing touches. Meanwhile you can pretty much smell the drool from the woman who is shamelessly checking out your boyfriend. Though you are pretty sure Jungkook gets such glances more than he can count every day, you can’t help but feel jealous. Partly because of the childish possessiveness and partly because you want to be the reason behind his dark eyes and intricate concentration, in profession or not.

To stop from mentally throwing daggers on the client’s way, you grab a random fashion magazine from the side table and flip through pages, though other four senses are inclined on your man. With a close attention to his low sigh you conclude that he is done.

The customer with now a fresh tattoo on her arm is discussing random useless topics to get him to talk, a very vain job realizing how Jungkook doesn’t bat a friendly lash at anybody, especially to those who hit on him. To be honest a large part of the ink business was linked with the obsession to attractive people who worked here, even if it meant trading an area of your skin. You grip the edges of the magazine a bit hard, not able to contain the sanity particularly at the high pitch voice she mumbles in before finally leaving his cabin.

A little excited and a lot nervous, you stand up as Jungkook bids goodbye to the third person.

He is quick to notice your discomfort, though not sure if it was the woman or the thought of finally getting the tattoo, he knew you were nervous and surviving in several cups of espresso by the dark circles slowly showing through the faded layers of your concealer. But nothing pulls down the opinion he has about you, beautiful and simple, no dramatics attached.

“Hey are you okay?”

You nod as soon as you sit down on the black tattoo chair, shifting a little to find a comfortable position. He is taking out a box full of equipment and fine needles, already making you break a sweat at the side of your forehead.

But more than that, it’s the way he is sharp and professional that catches your attention more.

You have never seen Jungkook this serious before. The choice of his vetiver perfume digging through your nostrils was driving you insane. If he doesn’t smile soon, you are going to melt into a puddle at his gaze.

“Are you nervous?”, he smirks this time, a newfound reason for your worsening gut health.

It’s mostly going in cycles at this point. Every bit of his skilled motion causes a vigorous hormonal reaction which initiates his next set of effortless teasing.

“I’m a little nervous”, you say, fiddling with your freshly painted nude nails.

“Me too”

It’s something you least expect to come out of his mouth observing how confident he looks right now. He basically has you cornered with his gaze. But whenever he had been truthful about his emotions it felt like a hug.

“I can take off my shirt too, so that we are even. Is that okay?”

He said it so softly like he is handling a child and the duality of the situation had your mind fogged and limbs frozen for a few minutes.

“Yeah it’s okay” It’s far beyond than okay. It’s great actually.

Jeon Jungkook is ripped, a Greek God sculptured masterpiece covered in self designed artwork you are more than happy to wake up to every morning. He hears you gulp at the feast before your eyes while he discards his black t-shirt to a nearby chair.

Now you don’t know if this whole thing is supposed to warm your heart or make you play several erotic fantasies like a movie before your eyes.

Both of you share a small smile while his long fingers are tugging at the hem of your shirt and pulling it up over your head.

He almost wishes you don’t opt to wear a bra but he is met with lacy black, a-bit-over your-usual-budget fabric hugging the roundness of your breasts.

It seemed like you were way too competitive about today. Anything less than complete awe from Jungkook for you was straight disappointment, you don't want anything less.

Well it seems like it did from how blown his pupils were at this point. He peels his gaze off your chest with a sharp gulp to look at your eyes suddenly devoid of any fear and staring back at him with all ease. He is filled with an exapnse of warmth and he isn't sure why does spending just a little amount of time with you had such a grip on him. He can’t wait to propose the idea of getting a couple tattoo together soon and as far as you know how Jungkook is, he is very serious with his body art so apparently he does trust you a lot already.

“Where exactly are you trying to get it?”, his voice is a lot deeper suddenly as he waits for your fingers to guide to his canvas.

You softly trace the spot at the upper circumference of your right boob, “Here”.

You suck a breath through your nose as his own fingers are mimicking your gesture, lightly pulling down the lace to inspect the fitting of the design at hand.

These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder

Jungkook traces each word on your burning skin, now leaning dangerously close which was questioning your control to put your palms flat on his pecs. He doesn’t notice that though, his mind is busy creating his own fantasies about the women under him.

After two minutes and twenty four second long of inspection and mutual thirst, Jungkook is selecting a bunch of needles to set into the rotary machine. Five fine sharp like a painter's brush moves in and out at a set regularity as Jungkook tests it out.

The next of his actions had you flushed into a pool of crimson. He gently lifts up your resting torso with one hand while the other is unclasping the hook of your bra, making you half naked for the sake of the tattoo.

"I'm going to start", he says shyly.

You still have time to save yourself from the growing phobia for the object, but another unlogical part of your brain says it's a piece of cake considering you have a whole distracting full course meal in front of you.

It stings at first. Well, okay it hurts like hell but your face is devoid of any indication, except your right hand is gripping on the rim of the chair for dear life.

Jungkook on the other hand had never felt this much diversion of mind during his work. He knows that you are probably hurting very badly, especially for a first timer. He is biting into his lip ring, trying to get this over with for the well-being of your pain and his hormones.

After he had scribed one word into your dermis, you are no longer able to contain the ache so you give out a small squeak out of your glossed lips and the vibration of the machine at his hands stops as he looks at you.

"You want me to stop? ", he is relaxing his face as he cups yours with one hand. You don't want to answer that question, but the drumroll of the current situation is making your heart flutter and everything about the little burn on your chest is forgotten.

"No. It does hurt but I'll be fine I guess", you whisper. His breath is mixing with yours slowly as he is leaning more towards your face. If it isn't for a kiss then you are likely to be disappointed.

"It'll be over before you know it. I'll make it quick", and then he kisses you, a small act to get off the pressure of sexual tension between your bare upper bodies.

Before you think of any tongue in the act, he is breaking off the contact and returns to his position on your chest. He misses the pout that forms on your mouth but right now both of your heads are in cloud nine.

The pain starts again, only this time you are busy reliving how his lips felt in yours; soft, firm and controlled.

You gasp when you feel one of his hands cupping your right breast to further his design but it's lowkey an act empowered by lust which is straining behind the so called professional eyes.

You just sit there flustered out of your mind and then Jungkook is suddenly squeezing, full palm hiding your breasts like it's a protected treasure, but he isn't showing the slightest facial expression other than determined eyes and his lower lip caught between his teeth.

Fuck you can't take it anymore. Jungkook can feel your nipples harden against his hand and his brain isn't helping much to concentrate on the design. But by the grace of some positive karma left on his side, he makes it through the long text and when he is letting go of your chest and standing tall, your skin is popping out with redness on the places the text lays embedded.

He fishes out a mirror for you to look.

"It looks beautiful thank you Jungkook", you smile.

"Can I give you one more tattoo on your left one?", he asks while you are contemplating whether going through the pain is worth it, not to mention you really want to get back at a private space with Jungkook as soon as possible.

"It won't hurt I promise", and then he is kissing you a lot filthier than before; all tongue and teeth, while his hands are grazing on the skin of your waist, pressing a little firmer than before.

The coldness of his lip ring rivaled around your mouth, and you try sucking on it to which Jungkook responds with a growl and pushes his body adamantly against yours.

Skin to skin, you are lost in euphoria of everything happening and finally, you roam your eager hands around his body, to his pecs and the definition of abs.

As your fingers scraped against his scalp, Jungkook is biting eagerly down your jawline to your collarbone and continues his ministrations at a particular spot which is bringing out melodic moan variation from you.

He is going down your skin, licking on your left boob before he starts planting violet tattoos as he had promised. As if it couldn't get better, he is massaging the right breast, in a way to soothe pain.

He loses it when you stutter his name, but he is just a fucking tease when it comes to making love and doing anything in a public space is the last thing he wants to do. There isn't much room for all that he wants right now.

"Why did you choose this particular tattoo Y/n?", he rasps while he is planting small pecks on his artwork, and you reply when he is finally eye level with you

"I just felt like it's a good one", your breaths are uneven and mostly caught in your neck. He pecks your lips before speaking, "Those are lines from Romeo and Juliet".

He takes your hands to trace over a line of text among the many designs on his chest.

which, as they kiss, consume

"We pretty much have a couple tattoo now Y/n", his breath is matched with your pace and you are not very sure how to respond to this new knowledge.

"That's… hot"

You break into giggles along with him, he just can't stop dragging his lips around your skin, but he isn't able to word his feelings right now either.

"I have some aftercare healing ointment for the tattoo at my place, wanna come over?" Now that may be a little lame of an excuse to get his little friend out of his pants but you are too unfazed to analyse any of that.

His hands find place on your ass under the skirt as soon as the door to his apartment closes, and before you know it, you are in his bedroom, sitting on the soft mattress and tongue lost devouring each other.

While eagerly getting rid of every article of clothing, Jungkook notices that you don't have your bra on beneath the shirt, so it's probably back at the parlour, but none of you have the slightest care for it, might as well make an excuse with it later to fuck you in his cabin.

He is pushing you farther towards the headboard, him on top, grinding sensenslesy while your lips mould with his. Though he has his whole body pressed against you, you can't seem to feel his weight at the slightest, every one of his actions were just balanced and perfect.

As Jungkook goes down on you, his smile is evident against your skin, finally able to find out how every one of those scenarios in his head will come to look like. He lets out a satisfied hum being finally able to suck on your tits, your fingers finding place on his hair, twisting it out of stimulation.

His pelvis is flushed harshly against yours, grinding and rubbing against your pussy for as long as he is rejoicing the feeling of moving his tongue around both the nipples.

He stops rubbing after some point and you whimper at the loss but his fingers are soon to meet your core as a quick apology. All your later moans are muffled on his mouth once again.

Feeling the controlled movements of his fingers on your clit, you dig your nails down on his toned shoulders. It's becoming impossible to reciprocate his lewd movements of tongue on your lips at this point as the excitement between your thighs is growing every passing second.

Your mouth remains slightly parted as he removes his face to watch you squirm underneath, lips swollen, deep red and glossy from all the saliva.

He pecks at the shell of your ear before going down past your navel.

You haven't had much heads in the twenty years of your life, most of the guys being completely against the idea which made you feel insecure to bring up the topic in bed, but Jungkook does it like his life depends on it.

He growls at the sight of you dripping into his sheets and he seems to enjoy the idea of being the influence behind it. But none is going through your head at the moment, not the metal on his lips grazing against your folds, or the fact that Jungkook is grinning each time you cry his name, it feels unreal to feel something like this.

His mouth is wrapping against your entrance and he is balancing your lower body on his palms to help him reach the right depths inside you. While all you can muster up is the strength to grope the bedsheets in your fist and close your eyes at the pleasure.

Jungkook brings his head higher to give some attention to the throbbing clit, catching it between his teeth and triggering the bundle of nerves just the perfect dose to have your hips jolting up to his face.

He can't take it himself when you are now whining and chasing for your release, so he is slightly humping against the bed to get some friction.

He licks a slow stripe up till your abdomen and slowly raises to your face, already fucked out and dishevelled to keep up with his dominant orbs.

He swears he had never felt so much warmth and care for sex with any of his previous partners, in relationship or not, all he could think is how good can he treat the pleading eyes underneath him.

"Is there something you like that you want me to do?", he says, fingers grazing once again to your crotch to not deny you from his contact. Only this time he is exploring the tightness of your pretty cunt with two skillful fingers.

Is there? You are not sure. Or in other words you are too caught up at the sense of him fingering you. It's not like you had enough experience or people who cared enough to ask that question. It astounds you that never in this entire foreplay he asked for any favor for himself.

"I'm not sure…", you whisper and then maybe you have something on your mind " um I guess I would like to be choked" Okay this felt embarrassing.

He smiles before sliding his free hand from your lips to your neck, and applies slight force, careful to not hurt you in the slightest bit.

"Is that fine?"

"Yeah", you muffle through the decreasing course of air.

He pulls up your face by the throat to attach lips once more. He just can't seem to get enough of kissing you senseless. Then, the tip of his long ignored cock is teasing the length of your pussy twice before it's stretching you out to the brim.

Bodies flushed and hot, his pace is deep and slow, making sure to kiss the cervix every time he is inside.

He watches as your eyes close shut and flutters around whenever he is grazing against your sweet spot. Both of your ears lost and eager for the moans looming out of each other, his more like what he sounds at the gym. Nice observation Y/n.

In this span of sexual energy you shared, you can make some obvious conclusions. Sex with him was surreal, both in terms of domination and the care he had. Rocking against him and keeping up with his hips was attainable— Compared to the intense eye contact he tries to hold, or the way he cups the side of your face and rubs the pad of his thumb on your cheeks while he kisses you during sinking back in, or the way his eyes glow at the beauty of your body open for him. It makes you feel special and it's difficult to respond to these gestures when you never felt this way before.

Jungkook could tell that from your face, but he hopes he lasts with you enough to help you know the worth you hold. You couldn't think too much about anything when you are busy squeezing around his length and coming twice in the first ten minutes.

By the third orgasm Jungkook is nearing his own and he pulls out to pump a few times before coming on your stomach.

"Was it okay?", his voice is all over the place, still balancing his body on his arms while you are amazed by his strength.

"It was amazing Jungkook", you smile. You have known a lot about Jungkook over the few dates you spent with him. That he likes literature, classics and philosophy, designs tattoos as a subconscious thing, that his game is A-1, and he likes working out almost three hours a day. Good for you. But it wasn't until now you know him to be gentle, like he is afraid to crush you under a feather touch. You don't know him as someone who is staring deep into your face after a good fuck, speaks nothing, smiles widely, and plants a peck on your forehead before getting off the bed.

He does the honors of cleaning both of your bodies with a towel, it's not like you have any strength left in you anyway. And then pulls out an ointment from the bedside table and plops next to your body.

"There. You need this to protect the tattoo", he takes off the nozzle and applies a required amount against the words on your chest and massages against them.

"Now go to sleep Juliet", he mocks, pulling up the sheets over you both "good night".

You snuggle against his hard chest, kissing his pecs before resting on it, "Good night Romeo".

thank you so much for reading!! please leave a feedback!!

★ taglist: @pjmochii (dm, ask or comment to enter the tl!)

★ credits: @/rainbeary on spotify : songs that'll make you feel everything's in slow motion playlist

★ banner & boards: by me :)

a/n: this is my first time writing smut and i basically died of second hand embarrassment during the process. pardon for my untalented ass, i tried this wip continuously for a week and i seriously don't think it could get anything better though it's probably not much.

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keketar · 4 years ago

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Explaining my current state of existence. Plenty of TMI. This is more for me to vent than anything else, so sorry if it sounds like complaining...

Oh boy... The past couple of weeks have been... rough. I've hit a pretty extreme low with my mental health on many accounts. My meds are still completely sedating my anxiety, but my depression is way worse than usual. Pretty much the only time I have been feeling ok is when sleeping, and occasionally playing Hollow Knight. My sleep schedule is absolutely fucked. Most days I'm sleeping in between all my meetings at work during daylight, some nights I'll stay up all night working, other nights it's anywhere between 2 and 4 AM playing Hollow Knight.

I am really struggling to bring myself to work consistently during the actual work day. I have tried resetting my sleep schedule multiple times, with very little success. When I do work, it's pretty intensely on a new product that is supposed to be out on July 1st. I, and the other team working on it, seem rather behind so we're in real crunch mode. Last night I stayed up all night working and ducked out of work at 5:00pm today to just nap. Woke up at like midnight and now of course can't go back to sleep. It's just a fucking cycle of torture.

Not to mention my dreams. Thanks to my meds I remember my dreams almost every time I sleep and they are very intensely real-feeling. For better or worse. I have had many dreams now of very real feeling sleep paralysis. Often I'll be in the spot I fell asleep irl and in the dream I'll try to move or talk, but can't. And I am just stuck there until I wake up. Many dreams just completely distort my sense of reality and sometimes I'll find myself questioning if something that happened in recent history was in a dream or real life and it can be either given the circumstance. I try to ground myself after, particularly bad dreams. Sometimes that entails texting my partner to check if I'm awake or not. Because I can and have had text conversations in my dreams as well that just didn't happen in real life.

More recently I've been struggling with food. I've been stress eating like crazy, where in previous months I was trying to be good about eating healthy, followed by a couple periods of restriction. I stopped going to my nutritionist because I was too depressed to get out of bed the day of our last appointment. The thing that sucks the most about it is I am already at the highest weight that I've been at since the genesis of my eating disorder in 2011. So the body dysmorphia is really rampant as I continue to stress eat and put on weight.

One of the things that bothers me the most is my inability to mask how not well I am doing to friends and my partner. Normally I am pretty good at keeping my energy up during the weekend times I do get with people but last weekend I couldn't even manage that. I slept for like half the time my partner was over, and pretty much just played Hollow Knight for the other half, like that used to be my only dedicated time with people that I have every week and I squandered it. I had a session 0 of D&D on Sunday in which I made a new character which I'm actually pretty excited about. But we had a new player join who needed help. I was of course the first to finish my character, and I basically just slept on my friend's hammock the rest of the session while everyone else helped the newbie. And it felt like such a dick move, but also I didn't have the energy to be a positive influence.

That all said, I only skipped one therapy session, and since the depression has gotten worse my therapist and I have been meeting more frequently. We discussed talking to my doctor about maybe adding another medication. I have been really hesitant to come off of my current medication in any capacity because as much as I would like to not be depressed going back to weekly panic attacks would be wayyyyyy worse for me. Anyway, I am supposed to schedule that doctor appointment sometime this week.

Anyway, it's not all bad. There are bright spots. I am thinking about taking a couple days off in July once this project is complete. As I mentioned I'm really excited about my new D&D character, and despite it sometimes cutting into my productivity. I am absolutely in love with Hollow Knight. I can't remember the last time I've been as engaged with a video game. I'm thinking about talking to my boss about getting budget to rent a we-work space or something. I think the separation of home and work is really troubling for me, and the lack of routine leads me into this spiral. I will just continue to try my best at existing and getting better.

I don't really know how to end this rant... So, goodnight. I'm not going to sleep, but it's late so that feels appropriate.

#text post #long post #rant #personal

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seijch · 4 years ago

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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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pynkhues · 4 years ago

Note

So i sent a similar ask to megan because i love peoples thoughts on their own fics and i love snippets soooooo👀 I’m curious what your top five moments in the c&c verse are (which have already happened) and top 5 moments you’re looking forward too?!☺️

Ahhh, thank you! This was such a fun one, haha. It got looooong, so I put it behind a cut! [edit: sorry, the cut doesn’t seem to be working on desktop, but it is on phone? tumblr’s being tumblr! Hopefully it fixes soon?].

Top Five Moments in C&C

1. Annie argues with Beth about the security system in I Could Be Your Welcome.

This was actually one of the first moments I wrote in the C&C ‘verse. I can’t remember the exact context around me writing it, but I remember being interested in Beth’s lack of self-preservation / tendency to ignore danger, and had been thinking a lot about what that would look like in an actual relationship with Rio. It sort of manifested in the thread of Rio buying this expensive security system throughout I Could Be Your Welcome and becomes a bit symbolic of the fact that Beth hasn’t really unpacked any of the realities at that point on what a relationship with a man like Rio means.

Beth is such a stubborn character at the best of times, haha, that I knew I wanted her to dig her heels in on it, and I wanted it to culminate in a fight, and I just loved the idea of Annie being the unlikely voice of reason, and how that reason fell out of how much she loves and worries about Beth.

Here’s my favourite part:

“Yeah, and you need to talk to him about that. But he’s not Dean,” Annie interrupts. “Dean lied for Dean. Dean lied to cover up all the ways he shit the bed, and he shit the bed on like, every level. Comforter, sheets, mattress protector, mattress. Bed frame. Floor underneath. I mean, was there a single inch of your marital bed that wasn’t brown by the end of it all?”

Beth gives Annie a look at that, and Annie laughs to herself, waving soapy arms out and letting the suds drift to the floor.

“With Rio, I think he was - -” and her voice cracks then, her bottom lip wobbling, and she looks briefly away, trying to pull herself together. It takes her a minute to collect herself, to figure out what it is that she wants to say, and when she does, her voice is somehow both raw and firm.

“You’re asking me to be mad that he’s trying to keep you safe, and that’s never going to be something that makes me mad.”

It takes Annie a moment to meet her gaze again, and when she does, her jaw is fixed, even as her lip still wobbles, a tear – blackened with mascara – having stolen down her cheek, catching at the curve of her nose, and - -

And just - -

Dammit.

2. Rio realising why Jane’s upset in Two Hands.

One of the things I find most fun in writing the early days of the C&C ‘verse, is that Beth and Rio flat out do not communicate still, hahaha, and they really just threw themselves into this family without fully knowing what that meant.

Two Hands was very much about that, and in particular about the fact that Rio, in the early days of their relationship, treated Beth’s kids ultimately as extensions of Beth. Two Hands for me marks this turning point in the timeline where he started to really think of each of them as their own people, and consciously commits to building individual relationships with each of them.

Also I love writing Jane, haha. Here’s my fave bit:

“It’s not always like this,” he says, and Jane looks up at him, and there are too many expressions that pass over her round little face – disbelief and childish frustration until it finally settles on somethin’ else, somethin’ softer, less certain, somethin’ he ain’t seen on her face, at least not somethin’ he’s seen directed at him.

“You didn’t say bye,” she says finally, her voice small, and Rio exhales, annoyed.

“I did, darlin’,” because he did. Shit, got to fight about it with Elizabeth and leave Marcus red faced and weepy, made sure of that, but then - -

He looks at Jane and any self-righteousness dies on his tongue.

“Not to you though, huh?” he says softly, and Jane shuffles back into his arm, presses her forehead into his chest, out of sight, the nozzle of the sippy cup sucked into her mouth like a bottle, keeps herself looking away from him, and Rio exhales. He looks down at his bruised hands, then at her feet, where the booties of her onesie hang limply down the side of the couch, her feet lost somewhere in the legs of the thing, the hood of it hangin’ so far down her face it almost covers her eyes, and he reaches up to tug it back, just enough he can see her.

“’m sorry. Think maybe I’m still gettin’ used to this,” he says, because he hadn’t said goodbye to any of Elizabeth’s kids. Had trusted her to do it for him, had treated them like they were just a part of her, but - -

They ain’t.

They’re - -

Well.

Fuck.

Jane looks up at him, her eyes a little glassy and just - - he ain’t sure what that is, the feelin’ in his gut, hollowing itself out. “Can you be the first one I say hey to instead?”

She makes a show of turnin’ it over, her squirming against his chest and drinkin’ that goddamn awful drink he’s made her, but then she nods, and Rio tugs on one of her rabbit ears.

“Hey, Jane,” he says quietly. “You been good for your mama while I been gone?”

And she grins a little at that, shakes her head into his chest again, giggling before she can stop herself, and Rio smiles too, but rolls his eyes.

3. Rio’s non-proposal in Stick to the Rivers

I’m weirdly into the thought of Dean getting married a million times after he and Beth finally divorce. I think Dean’s just affable and charming and goofy enough to trick women into thinking he’s a good guy, and I kind of love the idea that it results in this string of short-term disaster relationships that parallel to the longterm stability and true partnership Beth finds with Rio in C&C.

It’s something I’m definitely going to be exploring in future chapters, but it was really fun to start to in Stick to the Rivers, where Dean tells the kids he’s engaged and Beth and Rio are left to deal with the fallout. I also love the idea of Beth and Rio floating concepts with each other as jokes, even when they mean them seriously, haha, which is how this moment happened:

“Thought you ain’t sayin’ nothin’,” Beth says, imitating his voice, and Rio exhales sharply, squinting down at her in that irritated way that he does whenever she imitates him.

“I ain’t,” he says, gritting his teeth, and Beth arches an eyebrow up at him. “But that dumbass ex o’ yours - - ”

“Is getting married,” Beth replies, refocusing her gaze on the ceiling, and at least that’s enough to make Rio be quiet. It was a dirty trick, and she thinks they both know it, but still - - she just didn’t have it in her for Rio to tell her what she already knew, to have to justify (again) her inaction when it came to Dean.

Rio sighs above her, and she can feel him trying to catch her gaze, but she keeps it fixed steadily on the ceiling, briefly wishing for cracks or cobwebs or anything beyond the pristine surface there to distract herself, only something must distract her, because she doesn’t realise Rio’s undressed or even moved at all until he’s nudging her forwards and slipping into the bath behind her. He pulls her gently back against his chest.

“You’re surprised,” she tells him softly, letting her head loll back onto Rio’s shoulder, her eyes slip shut, feeling his hands stroke down her arms, one coming back up to cup her breast.

“Surprised he managed to trick another woman into gettin’ saddled with his ass, sure,” he replies easily, and Beth huffs out a laugh, beyond the point of being offended by anything Rio says about her and Dean’s marriage.

“You wanna beat him down the aisle?”

And just - - what?

Beth’s eyes snap back open, and she spins a little in the water to look at him, and it’s unfair, the mirth in his eyes, but also the - - something. She can’t quite read it, god, still can’t quite ever know him fluently, so she just squints at him.

4. The whole of Louder Now, Help Me Out

We’re extremely lucky in this fandom to have so many writers who are genuinely SO funny (including you!!), and I am not one of them, hahaha. I always feel like I tend to be a bit clunky when I try to write jokes, but occasionally I think I pull it off, and the installment where Marcus, Jane and Emma ask Beth about sex is one I’m pretty proud of. It still makes me grin when I read it, haha.

“Miss Elizabeth, do you and my daddy have sex?”

Somewhere inside, Beth can hear Kenny and Danny playing video games, can hear lunch gently simmering in the crockpot, can hear the faintest whir of the washing machine working through its cycle. Which is nice, she thinks blankly, her smile not shifting as she tries to process what Marcus has just said to her. She can’t quite look at Ruby, who even out of the corner of her eye she can see has her mouth hanging open, and she definitely can’t look at Annie, even if she does see her drop heavily back down into her chair (doesn’t even have to know for sure to know that she’s grinning).

Beth clears her throat, softening her gaze.

“Who told you that?” she asks, and beside him, Jane shrugs, a suspicious look on her face.

“Lucas Bircher. He said he saw his daddy naked and he put his penis inside his mommy’s butt and then his daddy told him that that was sex and it was how they made babies.”

“Not if it’s in her butt,” Ruby says quietly, taking a sip of her coffee when Beth spins around to glare at her. She drops her mouth open, planning to tell the kids what, she’s not sure, when Jane continues:

“But then we asked Kenny, and Kenny said growed-ups have sex because it’s fun and that you and Mr Rio do it all the time.”

5. Beth finds Rio with Marcus comes home after a bad job in Friar’s Lantern.

Angst though is something I think I write well, haha, and particularly crime-y angst. Friar’s Lantern is a story I was really excited to write, particularly in exploring the dynamic between Beth and Marcus, and the history of Rio and Laura. I liked the idea that Rio and Laura care about each other deeply, but that she was never in crime, and that she hit a breaking point with it in a way that made her really demand that Rio hide a part of himself from her.

In a lot of ways, Friar’s Lantern was about Beth doing the opposite, and demanding that he share himself instead. I wanted to parallel the moment a bit with the dubby too – with parenthood being central to both Beth and Rio’s vulnerabilities and something that has often lead to shifts in their dynamic – so Marcus’ teddy bear formed a really fun device in that sense. Also the image of a bloodied and bruised Rio bringing his son his stuffed animal was just the right sort of angst for me that day, hahaha.

His eyebrow split open, blood trickling from the skin there, down his temple. It looks like he’s swiped it back, once, twice, maybe three times, the blood smeared and dried, caking in his hair. There’s a deep bruise at his jaw, a deep, wide cut at his lip, like he was punched by somebody wearing a ring, and Beth’s gaze travels down him, only to have to swallow a gasp at the blood soaking through his shirt.

He watches her watch him, then says:

“Not all of its mine,” like it’s supposed to make her feel any better about it, and she hates that it does, because god, it’s selfish. She doesn’t want any of it to be his. It can all be the other guy’s. She wants it to be. She can’t summon the words to say anything – barely knows what to, and Rio suddenly jerks his head away from her, looking back at Marcus, and Beth exhales a breath she didn’t know she was holding to have his wounds out of sight again, however briefly.

“I won’t be long,” he says, eyes still on Marcus. “Just droppin’ Otis off, yeah?”

And - - what? Beth blinks, steps closer before she can help herself.

“Where are you going?” she asks, and Rio doesn’t pull his eyes away from Marcus, and Beth just - - stops. A foot or so away from him, and here she can see the blood’s thickest at the arm of his shirt, darkening the navy fabric, and it still looks wet, like maybe it’s still bleeding.

“Got a hotel.”

Beth tears her gaze away from his arm at that, looks up at him, watches him watch Marcus, and god, his jaw is already swelling.

“Why?”

And that’s enough to make him look back at her. Beth wets her lips, feels herself tremble, steps forward again, and when she touches his arm he flinches back like he’s been burned.

Top Five Moments I’m Looking Forward to in C&C

1. Finally writing the housewarming in See You in the Light. There will be drama! Beth will try to run away! Rio might break something! (And we all know how that usually ends, hahaha).

2. Beth and Rio getting married. I never, ever thought I’d write them getting married in any ‘verse, but once I realised the plot for it, it’s been stuck in my head. I have a pretty strong outline for the fic overall, so it’s definitely coming!

3. Another thing I never thought I’d write in this particular fandom was a pregnancy scare fic. I got a lot of C&C prompts for it though, and it’s actually teased out a pretty angsty installment in my head where they do have a scare and it makes them actually have to talk about what that looks like. In it, Beth confirms she doesn’t want anymore children, and Rio reveals that he would’ve liked one with Beth, but that he’d figured that it wasn’t on the cards. It ends up being a pretty bittersweet story where they’re both happy with what they have, but wonder what could’ve been, and what a child who was both of theirs might’ve been like.

4. On a much lighter note, I’ve had a ‘five things’ fic for ages which is actually just a time-jump fic with Beth and Rio teaching each of the five kids to drive, haha. It’s ridiculous, but hopefully pretty fun.

5. And there are a lot more too, but to bring this full circle, haha, there is an installment coming where Rio’s away for business, and, um. The security system is actually used. Think Panic Room vibes.

put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer ok go

#the center and circumference #this was extremely fun #omg now i want to write c&c fics haha #welcome to my ama #fic memes #bethrio

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windskull · 4 years ago

Text

A Little Less Lonely

A/N: Uhhh does the Namco High Fandom still exist on here? I know this is like. 7 years late but.

Summary: Davesprite has watched the same week play out so many times, knowing that, in the end, everything will start anew and there’s nothing he can do about it. Everyone around him feels like little more than a caricature, going through the same motions over and over, tugged along with by the whims of the game.

Until one day, someone doesn’t.

~ 6000 words, Davesprite/Anti-Bravoman. Contains swearing. See Ao3 posting for more notes.

Davesprite drummed his fingers against the plastic table, his expression unreadable as he idly looked over the crowded field. All around him colorful booths advertising various clubs and student organizations had been set up, desperately vying for the attention of any student that happened to pass by. Several groups of students idled about nearby, some occasionally glancing at him as they passed by. But they never approached, never expressed interest in joining. They never do. Some might smile at him or give him weird looks, while others might ignore him entirely. But in the end, they always behaved in the same predictable way.

Right on cue, a pair of students in wrestleball gear passed by. One of them gave him a dirty look, whispering to his friend as they gave his table a wide berth. But their actions don’t bother him. They don’t so much as sting. In the end, the other students were just voiceless bits of data, and they just did what they always did.

His attention shifted to a booth across the pathway. Meowkie stood by herself, looking out for a certain someone. Cousin, of course. She always looks for them. Just like all the other datable caricatures in Dating Sim Hell World.

The slightest of smiles — a wistful, wry smile — crossed his face for mere seconds before he turned away. Cousin dated her in a recent cycle. They certainly wouldn’t go for her again so soon. He almost felt bad for her. Without Cousin there for her, she’d just get pushed around by the other students and blamed for things out of her control. Just like she always did.

His gaze shifted away again, spotting the adorable alien in question conversing with Blue Max. Ah, so that’s who they’d selected this time. It’s not the first time they’d dated Blue Max, and he doubted it would be the last. He supposed Cousin had a soft spot for the sensitive ones. At least they weren’t dating Hiromi or Terezi this time; those routes always made him cringe just a little.

Shifting his gaze further still, he spotted a speck of purple down the path, standing out against the colorful crowd. Anti-Bravoman was watching the exchange as well. Davesprite let out a disinterested hum, leaning forward to rest his chin on the palm of one of his hands. That poor sap got chosen just last time. Who knew when he’d be selected again?

Cousin and Blue Max began to walk back towards the school, Anti watching them go. Davesprite rose from his seat, preparing to go off and dow who knows what, but he paused. Huh, had Anti always watched Cousin leave? He shook his head. Oh, what was he saying, of course he must have. The game always played out the same. No matter what Cousin did, everything went down the same predetermined paths.

The other students begin to disperse, and the little effects of Cousin’s choice are evident. Davesprite counted them off on his head. Taira won’t immediately go to the wrestleball game. Instead, he’ll gather up a couple of the other players and go heckle Blue Max at his club. But everyone else would still follow their usual patterns, just without Cousin. Meowkie would go do her hall monitor thing, Richard would go to culinary club, and Anti-Bravoman would go to poetry club. Just like everyone else would do their own clubs.

He wouldn’t bother with his webcomic club, of course. Despite how much the game tries to compel him, he hadn’t bothered with that in a long time. After the first dozen or so cycles, he’d abandoned his schedule, doing whatever he pleased when the game didn’t call for him to interact with Cousin. Admittedly, doing what he pleased usually meant doing nothing, but that didn’t matter. So long as he didn’t get in the way of Cousin, everything would go fine. The game wouldn’t care. The game wouldn’t compel him to move elsewhere.

But as he began floating away, he realized something was off.

Instead of wandering off like all the others, Anti-Bravoman was still rooted to the spot. At first, he thought it must have been a little error. Sometimes the game glitched, after all. He’d return to his normal path soon enough, none the wiser that there was ever anything wrong.

Anti glanced up, noticing Davesprite. He locked eyes with him for just a moment, then suddenly let out a squeak and averted his gaze. Davesprite fully expected him to turn and run off towards Poetry club. Maybe he’d go, too. Watching Anti make a fool of himself trying to act cool and edgy might be fun.

But Anti didn’t run off towards the café. Instead, he turned and dashed towards the school steps. Davesprite’s mouth dropped open as he stared where Anti had disappeared.

That. That wasn’t normal. Throughout all the resets he’d experienced, Davesprite had never seen Anti enter the school on club day. This was new. And as much as the voice in the back of his head told him that this wasn’t anything important, and that he was probably just forgetting something, he couldn’t help but be curious.

So, despite a little itch telling him to do otherwise, he floated through the doors and after Anti.

*****

Davesprite’s search for the rogue student brought him to the roof, where he found Anti sitting on the edge with his back turned, kicking his feet idly. His bullshit guide abilities tell him that there are no events that are supposed to happen up here today, a fact that helped alleviate that itching feeling that he was in a place he shouldn’t be.

Yet, at the same time, it gave him an uneasy, twisting feeling in his stomach that threatened to make him sick. (Could he even get sick?) There was something wrong. Neither of them were supposed to be here. But more importantly, Anti-Bravoman wasn’t supposed to be here.

Uncertain of how to break the silence, Davesprite floated just a bit closer but said nothing, silently closing the door behind him. Sure, he could just float up to him and go, “hey you know you’re not supposed to be here right don’t you have poetry club to get to or something?” But something about that didn’t feel right in the moment. So instead, he opts to just say, “hey.”

Anti jolted at the sound of his voice, letting out an out-of-character, high-pitched squeak of alarm. He scrambled to his feet and spun around, looking ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. But then his eyes lit up with recognition, and he relaxed slightly. He tilted his head.

“…Davesprite?” There was confusion in his voice, but it wasn’t the hesitant confusion of someone trying to recognize the face of someone they were vaguely familiar with. No, it was the confusion of someone who wasn’t expecting to see anyone else. “What are you doing up here?”

Offering a coy smile and a shrug of his shoulders, Davesprite did the best he could to play it off. “Can’t a guy get a little privacy? I mean the roof is supposed to be off limits and all. But it’s kinda hard to enforce that when a student can fly don’t you think? But anyways what about you? You up here doing like. Some Batman shtick or something? Like. I can see you doing a deep gravelly voice. Monologuing about how dark and broody you are and how the world can’t understand you or something. Some pseudo deep poetic bullshit like that. Speaking of that don’t you like. Go to poetry club or something today?”

Anti flinched and turned his head away, his gaze dropping back towards the ground. “They wouldn’t understand the… inky depths of my soul. The darkness that dwells within me. The depressive state of my innermost being. But that’s enough focusing on my inner demons. What about you, aren’t you supposed to be at poetry club or something?”

He had to suppress a snort to prevent himself from laughing out loud at Anti’s edgy antics. Teasing, whether lighthearted or not, would be the fastest way to get nowhere with his questions. He shrugged. “Poetry club sounds cool and all but I prefer making shitty comics to spitting hot rhymes these days.”

He approached the edge of the roof, taking a seat next to where Anti had been a moment before. His tail curled around, hanging over the edge beside him as he patted the edge, inviting Anti to sit beside him.

Anti stared at him for a moment before sitting back down a few feet back. Then he laid back, his arms behind his head. “I mean,” he began, keeping his gaze on the clouds above them, “no one is going to miss me if I don’t go to poetry club. Cousin might ask about it but all I gotta do is make up a little lie. It’s not like it changes anything in the end.”

Something about the way he said that made Davesprite suck in a breath. It’s familiar, in a way. Like Anti took the words right out of his mouth. He blinked a couple times, digesting the statement before turning back to look at Anti. As soon as Anti realized he was staring, though, he sat back up and looked away.

“I mean. Think about it,” Anti said quickly. Maybe almost too quickly. Or maybe Davesprite was just overthinking things. “It’s not like I have any friends here. I don’t help people out with their bike problems or participate in any of the other clubs or anything. Or just. Have friends in general. If I don’t show up, no one’s going to know.”

He has a point. But at the same time, that didn’t make the nagging feeling in the back of his head go away. Because he knew the way this game worked. He knew Anti wasn't actively involved in any route but his own, and that he only ever made passive remarks about his actions. But still. The game had a way that it did things. Everyone was a caricature, unable to deviate from their script. Everyone but himself.

Or so he thought.

Davesprite realized that he had zoned out. Anti was still rambling, trying to come up with some sort of excuse as to why he was up here. Because that’s all it was. Excuses. Davesprite ignored it all, instead just uttering two words barely above a whisper. “You know.”

Anti’s voice stopped mid-sentence, the words dying in his throat. Swallowing nervously, he tugged at his scarf. “Know what?”

Davesprite frowned. “I mean. We can beat around the bush all day and all but Cuz is only going to be busy for so long, you know? And then we all have to go home and do nothing for the rest of the day and then come back and have to pretend like we did what we were supposed to do. Or we’re supposed to at least. I guess I could always say that I did jack shit but even if I did it wouldn’t make a difference anyways. If anything going off-script would just cause things to reset prematurely or something. Shit’s pretty whack and all but what can you do. So instead you just shrug it off and try and trick them into thinking there’s a harem ending or some shit.”

“What are you…” Anti blinked at him a few times, trying to digest his words. When the implications finally sank in, he stiffened. He stood up suddenly, pulling his scarf up a little higher. “I need to go. I-I have a poetry club to get to.”

“I mean if you don’t want to talk about it that’s cool and all. But.” Davesprite paused. What good would it do to force it. If he was right, then Anti apparently didn’t want to talk to him about it. Which was frustrating, knowing that there might be someone that understood his plight right in front of him, refusing to admit it. But if he was wrong, he’d just make a huge fool of himself.

Then again, if he was wrong, it wouldn’t make a difference in the long run. Anti would just forget this whole conversation in a week, and his sad, miserable little existence trapped in a looping video game would just return to the usual.

He would speak up. “You’re not exactly the most popular student or anything. It’s not like you got anything else to do. Heh. Imagine if you were popular like Donko or Galaga. Always surrounded by other students. Beloved by all. Wouldn’t that be wild? Then again you’re not an inanimate object. Seeps like that’s what it takes to get popular around here. You think someone would date Cousin’s Katamari if they were given the chance? I think it could be pretty cute.” What was he saying?

“What are you trying to say?” Anti gave him a weird look, shaking his head. “Why are you even bothering me with all this. You’ve never paid me any mind before.”

Because he needed to know . He needed proof that he wasn’t alone in this mess. “All I’m saying is that you usually go to poetry club don’t you? You run off and go hide in the rafters and give this dramatic speech about meat prisons that nobody seems to like. I guess you’re going to go do that now so I’ll stop bothering you. Have fun and all.” He shrugged, rising from his spot, and prepared to lower himself to the ground.

“Wait.”

Davesprite turned around. Anti was standing still, staring at him. He wring his hands together nervously, eyes darting to the side. “Are… you really being serious? You’re not messing with me, right?”

Sincerity wasn’t one of Davesprite’s strengths, so instead he replied with his usual flair. “I ain’t clowning with you. The only person I’m clowning on is myself. Well. Right now anyways. It’s not like there’s anyone else here right now. God damn. Do you really remember stuff? Wish you’d have said something sooner bro. It kind of fucking sucks talking to people and getting the same cookie cuter responses every time. Like a bunch of fucking puppets. Ugh.”

Anti tilted his head so that he was staring at the ground and rubbed his shoulder. “I don’t think I’m supposed to,” he admitted. “I don’t think I’m supposed to know.”

Seeing at how vulnerable, and, yeah, kind of pathetic, Anti looked at the moment, Davesprite almost felt bad. Almost. “What you think the fact that you know about all this is like. Some sort of glitch or something. I mean, hello, I’m Mr. Guide Knowitall and I didn’t know about this so you may be on to something. But. I mean. I also feel like I should have noticed a glitch or some shit like that. Then again I did see you acting weird today so I guess I did notice but…”

“I was just missing Cousin,” Anti said quietly without looking up. “Even if it’s all temporary and all part of a script, they make me feel good about myself.”

Davesprite sucked in a deep breath. Still keeping his gaze down, Anti walked back to the edge of the roof. Finally, he turned back to look at Davesprite. “I… I’d like to talk about this more. I think. But… Cousin will probably be finishing their event right about now.”

“There’s always tomorrow,” Davesprite suggested before pausing. “Well. Not tomorrow. The day after. We could meet up and. I dunno. Discuss why videogames suck and maybe why you have control over your actions?”

Hesitation crossed Anti’s face. But it was gone just as quickly. He nodded. “We should probably go somewhere away from the school, since Cousin should be here if they continue down their current path… I think. I don’t know, I don’t follow them around. The café, maybe?”

Davesprite raised a hand up, offering Anti a fist bump. “It’s a date.” He paused. “Well. Not a date. But. You know.”

Anti rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Eh, heh… no, I get it. I’m a swirling pit of darkness. A walking pile of — admittedly totally cool — edge. Not exactly Cousin material. I don’t think that’s what you meant anyways.”

Davesprite laughed, because of course he’s skittish like that. “See you then.”

*****

The next day, as always, passed in a blur. From his seat, Davesprite watched, bored, as Cousin talked to Bluemax and a couple other students, but did little else. They just don’t speak to them all like they used to. Anti kept to his seat in the back of the room, idly scrawling away in a notebook.

Curious, Davesprite rose from his seat, mindful of his tail as he made his way across the room to take a look at what Anti was doing. He expected to see bars upon bars of poetry, but instead was met with surprisingly pristine doodles of robots. Little, less clean doodles of Anti charged at the robots, destroying them in some pictures. Some of the bots he recognized as the ones from Evil Namco High. The ones that they all fought at the end of every week. But others are totally unfamiliar.

Anti glanced up and caught Davesprite’s eye, but quickly looked away, placing his hand over the notebook. Davesprite couldn’t get a good read of his emotions at the moment, but the way the antennas on his helmet drooped suggested that he was embarrassed or otherwise flustered. He raised his brow at the reaction, but said nothing and instead just took one of the nearby empty seats.

The two of them sat in silence for a moment. Lingering doubts began to swirl in Davesprite’s mind. What if everything from yesterday hadn’t been real. Perhaps he had made it up, in some desperate desire for company.

He almost said anything. But then he swallowed nervously and said, “are we still on. For tomorrow. You know. Date at the café and all.”

There he went, calling it a date again. Not because it was. But it was kind of fun to get Anti a bit flustered. His behavior when he wasn’t putting on the edgy, tough guy emo kid persona was quite a bit different, and almost kind of cute in a way.

Anti nodded slowly. “I… thought you said it wasn’t a date. But yeah. I should have nothing better to do.”

Davesprite let out a relieved breath and smiled. Thank god he was right. At least he didn’t make a total fool of yourself.

“I’ll let you get back to your doodles then,” he said, waving a hand dismissively before leaning away and settling down to just chill out and watch the room, waiting for time to pass.

“T-they’re battle plans!” Anti sputtered, holding the notebook up to his chest. Davesprite just smiled.

*****

They waited for Cousin and Blue Max to leave before sneaking out. Anti insisted on jumping out the window, which Davesprite decided to go along with. For the first time, he got to see that Anti wasn’t actually just some kid in a silly costume. Grabbing hold of the windowsill, Anti’s arms stretched , allowing him to carefully lower himself onto the ground. Without reacting outwardly, Davesprite lowered himself to the ground after him. Not a single student said a thing as they slipped away. Not that they ever did.

The café was only a short walk away. After all, everything in the game had to be close by. There was only what, like three locations outside of the school? Four? It certainly saved on resources.

Save for the staff, the café was empty. No need to waste resources on patrons if Cousin wasn’t coming. The two of them sat down at a table near the back, neither saying anything at first. Not until the waiter came, at least.

“Got anything with birdseed?” Davesprite asked, his eyes skimming through the menu idly.

“... We do not,” the waiter replied flatly.

What kind of establishment didn’t carry birdseed? But he shrugged it off, waving a hand dismissively. “Eh…. I’ll take a sugar cookie then. And a cup of ice water I guess.”

“I’ll take a hot chocolate. Extra whipped cream please.”

Davesprite waited for the waiter to jot their order down and walk off, tracing circles on the table with his finger. “Didn’t take you for the hot chocolate type of guy. With all your dark, angsty poetry I would have thought you’d order ‘coffee as black as my soul�� or something like that. Seems more on brand or whatever.”

“I mean yeah it is,” Anti said quickly, adjusting his scarf. “But, uh, that would be wasteful. Just because something is ‘on brand’ for how I act in-game doesn’t mean it’s who I am as a person.”

“Touché. So the poetry is all for the game, then?”

“Oh, no, it’s very me. I’m supposed to be the dark avenger, the tortured soul, shunned by society.” He paused, staring at the table. “But, I mean, that’s not all there is to me, you know?”

Davesprite opened his mouth to say something, but paused when their order was brought to their table. Peeling the wrapper from his straw, he sat it aside and took a sip before speaking again. “Well, while we’re here, might as well talk about how we ended up in this situation. I mean, the short story of your life and all. I could talk about mine all day but well. That would be one hell of a story. It’d take weeks to tell that shit yo. We’d be up to our necks in video game bullshit. Then again. Aren’t we anyways?”

Anti chuckled, the tone bitter. “Guess you’re right there. I’ll tell you more of my story if you tell me yours. The, um. Short version.”

“Fair enough. Long story short is that I’m basically the doomed version of a cool dude named Dave. Went back in time and fused with an asshole crow and became this mess.” He paused to gesture to himself. “You know. Standard video game fare. Did I mention he was playing a game too? Wild stuff. Doomsday game. Ended the world. All that mess. I watched my bro die. That was pretty shit. But that’s not important here. Anyways after like. Three years of things went to shit and I just. Fucked off. Pretty sure that timeline was doomed anyways. Whatever. Anyways, I just kind of ended up here in video game hell. Guess that’s my punishment for not being good enough. Being surrounded by a bunch of soulless caricatures that just act and react the same way every time, no matter what you do. Can’t change things. Well. Till I found out that you’re not. Wild. Maybe it’s not quite hell after all but like. Purgatory or some shit. I dunno I never really gave a shit about all that.”

He looked up, realizing just how long he’d been rambling now. Anti was staring at him, though between the visor and the scarf that covered his face, his expression was pretty hard to read.

“Anyways, how about you? I think I said enough here.”

Anti pulled his scarf down just enough to expose a frown. Huh, his skin was the same color as his suit. Davesprite wasn’t sure why he hadn’t expected that. Anti lifted the mug, taking a small sip before sitting it down again. A little bit of the whipped cream stuck to his face, a stark contrast to the dark tone. He wiped it away before staring at the mug for a moment, the corners of his mouth twisting into a wistful smile. “I guess my origin isn’t as different as you’d think. I’m… a science experiment, you could say. A byproduct of chance. An alien gave a man some superpowers that he called from space. But by total chance, some of it split off and hit a mad scientist’s experiment and made me. I guess I’m not a clone, per say, but I was given life by the same power that made him a hero and I share most traits with him. Bravoman, that’s his name. And that’s where the ‘Anti’ part of my name comes from. I guess you could say my whole identity revolves around him.”

He paused, laughing bitterly. His hands gripped the edge of the table, fingertips clenching tightly. “Which is why it’s kind of funny that it never comes up in my story here. Nothing from my home world does, except my penchant for the dark and dramatic. Heck, I wasn’t even a villain there. And I’d barely qualify as an antagonist, despite my best efforts. It took an evil, alternate universe version of myself to even be recognized as a rival. But… that’s getting into complex issues.

“All that to say… In my universe, half of my super powers revolve around meta. Recognizing that I was part of a webcomic and playing with that medium. I wonder if that’s why I was able to break out of the game’s mold. One day I just woke up in detention, with these words and memories of things I never did — like attending Evil Namco High — in my head. I didn’t question it the first time. The second time I thought I must be having a weird dream. But after a while, I knew something was up. I started trying to figure out how I got here. And tried to figure out if there was a way out.” Another bitter laugh. “Never have.”

Davesprite frowned, placing his elbows on the table so he could prop his chin on his hands. “Well. Shit. If that ain’t a story and a half. I guess it explains a lot. Um…” Jesus. Anti looked about ready to cry. And he wasn’t good at that whole consoling business. He lowered one hand, drumming his fingers on the table before reaching to break off a bite of the cookie. “Want some?”

Anti blinked, staring at him for a moment before opening his palm so Davesprite could drop the cookie piece into his hands. “…Thanks. I… I never really knew if everything you said was a part of the game, or if you were really in control of yourself. And I never got the courage to ask because, well, I was afraid that if I did, the game would take notice and I’d… lose control of myself, or something. Does that ever scare you?”

He sucked in a sharp breath before nodding slowly. “I mean I don’t think it would if everything I’ve done to stretch the limits of this game hasn’t done so already. But I can understand your concern.”

Nodding slowly in response, Anti took another sip of his chocolate. “I guess now that the cat’s out of the bag though… Maybe things won’t be as lonely around here?” There was a hopeful tone in his voice. And as much as Davesprite wanted to be defeatist and say that none of it would matter, he just nods in response.

“Guess we could just. I dunno. Blow the game off and do whatever on day three, huh? What do you usually do again?”

“Get peer pressured by total strangers I’m led to believe are former classmates into kidnapping Pac Man. You?”

“Same,” Davesprite joked, shaking his head. “No, I just usually fuck off and do whatever. God it feels so nice to be able to swear. Did you ever notice how we’re never allowed to swear despite the game having several little innuendos here and there? Funny how standards are different. Kind of like how they made sure everyone was at least eighteen in the game. You know why. You ever think about how Taira is thousands of years old and yet he’s a student here? Weirdest shit.”

Anti blinked. “Uh… I don’t actually know what you’re talking about.”

He didn’t? Davesprite snorted. Oh that was hilarious. “God you’re just as innocent as Cousin. That’s hilarious.”

“Anyways, I think we’re running out of time, but this has been fun. Kind of cathartic actually. We should definitely meet up again, don’t you think?”

Anti smiled before pulling his scarf up. “I would like that. So… in two days… somewhere?”

Davesprite began to get up from his seat. “Sounds as good as anything to me.”

*****

They spent the next detention day passing notes to each other, and chatting once Cousin seemed to be done talking. Anti told Davesprite more about his world, while Davesprite told him more about his. Much of the same was done in the day that followed, albeit elsewhere in the school. It amazed Davesprite just how much more bearable passing the time became, just with Anti being there to help him pass it.

*****

Cousin picked Lolo on the next reset. This time, they hadn’t even bothered to talk to anyone else. Davesprite waited for the crowd to disperse before approaching Anti, Keeping a nonchalant expression. “So I was kind of thinking,” he began, shrugging his shoulders. “Since I saw you drawing the other day and all. Seems like you’d enjoy the webcomic club or some shit. Room’s unoccupied if you wanna go there and pass the time.”

Anti blinked at him a couple times, like he hadn’t expected to be approached. Then his eyes squinted and the antennas on his helmet stuck up, and Davesprite got the idea that he was grinning. “Sounds fun! Lead the way.”

And that’s where he and Anti spent the next hour, doodling stupid little comics to pass the time. Davesprite did his usual shitty ironic comic shtick and got a kick out of Anti’s attempts to overanalyze them and find a deeper meaning. Anti, meanwhile, busied himself with drawing a more refined version of the doodles he’d seen in the notebook before. It was kind of adorable.

“I’ve kind of gotten used to drawing them by memory now,” Anti explained as Davesprite looked over the images. “Since, you know, everything always ends up getting erased in the end.”

“Tell me about it,” Davesprite said. “Kinda surprised you bother at all. Knowing that it all goes away in the end.”

Anti doesn’t say anything after that. And for a moment, Davesprite thought he might have genuinely upset him. But then Anti shook his head. “No, you have a point. But it’s like. I don’t want to forget anything, you know? At least there’s something a bit more permanent now. Something that’s going to stick.” He raised his hand to gesture to Davesprite. “Our friendship. This uh. This is a friendship, right?”

Davesprite snickered. “Wow you’re a real dork you know that. But yeah if you consider hanging around a feathery asshole a friendship then I’m all for it and all that. It’s better than being totally alone in Dating Sim Hellscape.”

That got a laugh out of Anti.

*****

It became a habit, going forward, for the two of them to meet up and pass the time. The next reset, Cousin dated Taira, and the davesprite learned that Anti actually knew quite a bit about building robots.

The reset that followed saw Cousin joining up with Richard Miller. Davesprite cracked a joke about how Richard and Albatross would go great together, and Anti replied that it was too bad they couldn’t mess with the code that much, just to see what would happen.

Al was picked the reset after that, and Davesprite couldn’t help but wonder if whatever player force that controlled Cousin was thinking of the same idea. He and Anti spent most of their time at the café this time, only avoiding the area when Al and Cousin were there. In those times, they kept busy reading and making silly comics. Even if they lost the records each time the game reset, at least they had the memories of the pleasant times.

Davesprite was selected the next reset. The week passed with him doing his usual bullshit. And yet, he couldn’t help but think about Anti the whole time, and how real he felt in comparison to this. Several times, he’d glance in Anti’s direction during detention, only to catch Anti doing the same.

He didn’t expect Anti to hug him tightly when the next reset came around, rambling about how much he missed him.

And suddenly, Davesprite started to realize that maybe this was becoming something more than a friendship. Yet, the words remained unspoken between them, through reset after reset.

*****

One reset, Cousin did something strange. Day one went on as normal, with Cousin electing to spend time with Mr. Driller. Yet, the second day, Cousin chose Donko.

As Anti watched the two of them sneak out through the window, he leaned over to Davesprite. “What are they doing?” he mumbled.

Davesprite stared with a blank expression on his face, his hands clenched into fists. “They’re experimenting,” he said quietly. “The player. They’re trying to see what happens if they play the game differently. Fucking with our lives just to see what would happen. To see if they can get a game over, perhaps.”

“What happens when they get a game over?” Anti asked.

Davesprite swallowed nervously. “You. Me. Everyone that goes to confront Evil Namco High. We…”

Die.

He didn’t say the word, and yet it hung in the air like a weight waiting to be dropped.

Anti sucked in a breath, wringing his hands together. “Oh…” A long silence passed between them. “I don’t want to…”

“Yeah.”

Another silence, Anti glanced down at the doodles on his page. Suddenly, he didn’t feel quite so heroic. “Davesprite… you’re the more knowledgeable of the two of us. What would happen if we just… didn’t go?”

Davesprite had to pause for a moment. What would happen. It wasn’t like they were the ones fighting alongside Cousin. They weren’t the ones that determined the outcome of the battle. “I mean. It wouldn’t change the outcome of the fight. Jury's out on whether or not we’d die though. Since like. Not fighting isn’t really an option in the game itself in all.”

Anti was silent again. He traced circles on the surface of the desk with his finger. “I guess… I guess there’s only one way to find out, huh?”

*****

They waited until Cousin had made their selection — Donko, who they had only hung out with on the second day — before slipping away. No one noticed as they moved away from the gathering crowd of students. Or at least, no one said anything, but Davesprite hadn’t expected them to.

He led the way to Zweihander Ridge where the two of them laid out on the grass. They could hear explosions in the distance, but the two of them did their best to ignore it.

“This is some pretty depressing shit huh,” Davesprite said, letting his hands rest at his side. “Who would have thought dying was a possibility in video game hell huh? I mean I know Jane’s route has her and Cousin die but like. They come back before the end. In this ending you just. Don’t. It’s like a fresh reset. You do one thing wrong and dead Davesprites start piling up. Not fun. Not cool Cousin. Seeing a corpse of yourself is the worst, you know. Awkward as hell.”

He felt something brush against his hand. Looking over, he spotted Anti’s hand resting on top. He gave Davesprite the most serious look he thought he’d ever seen him give.

“Look, I… I don’t know. What that’s like. It sounds… awful. And I don’t know what’s going to happen with all this.” Another explosion sounded in the distance. “But like. Whatever happens, we’ll face it together, right?”

Davesprite stared for a moment. Then he smirked and moved his hand so that his fingers intertwined with Anti’s. “You’re goddamn right about that. Who would have thought mister doom and gloom would be so hopeful? It’s kind of cute.”

He sat up for just a moment, which made Anti sit up too, his head tilted in confusion.

“You know maybe we should just like. Make this official and all.” Leaning forward, Davesprite used his free hand to tug down Anti’s scarf. Anti’s mouth hung open ever-so-slightly.

“Davesprite, you… I…”

Davesprite gave Anti a quick peck on the cheek before leaning back, giving Anti an uncharacteristically serious expression. “When I ended up here, I thought everything about this world was fake. Everyone was little more than a caricature. Little more than a game construct, a bastardization of who they could be. Yet here we are. You’re not. God damnit Anti, don’t ever leave me.”

Anti’s mouth hung open in shock. For just a moment, Davesprite regretted being so candid.

But then Anti smiled, and Davesprite felt his heart flutter.

“Don’t worry Davesprite, I’m not going anywhere.”

Hesitantly, Davesprite let his ghostly tail wrap around Anti’s waist. There the two of them sat, watching as the town far below grew quiet. It was over. The game would reset soon. The world seemed to slowly grow brighter around them.

Davesprite smiled. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

#Namco High #Davesprite #Bravoman #Anti Bravoman #fic

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titusmoody · 4 years ago

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Ranking the SM64 levels

3 Bob-omb Battlefield: I’m starting the list with my third favorite because I can explain every other level in terms of this one. This is easily the most impressive level in terms of design. SM64 sorts its levels into “chunks” that connect in various ways. The exact borders between chunks and how finely we chop the level up into different chunks doesn’t quite matter. I find I like chunks better if they 1) interconnect so you can get to multiple different chunks from wherever you are. Bonus points if the game uses the Y axis to create some one-way connections like Bob-omb battlefield’s bridge that spits you back out near the beginning of the level if you fall. Extra bonus points if you can use some precise jumping to get around those limitations. 2) Has its own distinct element, either visually or mechanically, like the little area with the mounds when you climb up the very first ramp in Bob-omb battlefield. 3) Contains a pretty clear “first star route” to one specific other chunk, like the path up the ramp at the beginning, or the mountain “weenie” that you can see a path to when you get beyond the chain chomp and bridge. 4) There are at least a couple chunks that the first star route doesn’t touch at all, but you can still see. Both the area with the stumps you can run in circles around as well as the floating island you can see from your ascent up the mountain are good examples. The only reason this isn’t #1 on my personal list is because it is focused mainly on beginners who have literally never encountered a 3d game before. Climbing the mountain and freeing the chain chomp are both great, and the mountain contains plenty of opportunities to get up faster using more difficult jumps. On the other hand, it uses the wing cap and fairly precise cannon aiming, the first and second least fun things in the game.

Now, onto the worst levels:

15 Dire, Dire Docks: While swimming isn’t as awful to control as I remember it being when I was a kid, it’s still not great. This level uses currents to suck you towards death pits in a couple places, which isn’t fun. A few of the stars either include or are mostly built around having you navigate the weak end of the current, and there’s just nothing good about it. Plus, what’s the deal with water levels having segments connected only by lengthy narrow tunnels? Probably a loading thing, but it doesn’t help the design. The not-underwater part of this level is only used to make you do cycle-based pole jumping which is even worse than the death currents.

14 Tiny-Huge Island: Eh, this was such a creative idea for a level that I don’t begrudge it for not working. This level has chunks that only connect if you are the appropriate size, which is a good idea. Around half the things you need to do to get the stars are pretty good, too. However, big mario is just too big. If you turn at the wrong time you go into sliding down mode and there’s never a platform big enough for you to get your balance before falling off the mountain to your death. The level also feels a little unvaried. The chunks aren’t distinct and reuse the same few elements throughout without getting more challenging as you progress along the “first star route”.

13 Tall, Tall Mountain: This is one of two linear levels in the game, and is by far the less interesting. SM64 approaches linear levels as spirals upwards. In this case, around the mountain. I think there’s only a single place where you can take two different routes up. There’s not a lot to say. The platforming feels perfectly fine throughout the ascent. The slide is the most well-hidden place in the game, and I might have gotten frustrated looking for it if I hadn’t seen speedruns. This may have been ranked a little higher if it weren’t for the star that requires the most precise cannon aim in the game.

12 Cool, Cool Mountain: It’s a neat idea to start at the top of a level and be asked to descend in various ways. I think the problem is that too much of what you’ll actually be doing is trying to precisely control your slide down the same stretch and jump away at exactly the right place.

11 Rainbow Ride: This level isn’t structured like any other in the game. There are two points where the main path branches--once into three and the other time into two--but none of those branches reconnect, so it’s more like a path with a few self-contained sections off of it. I like the platforming quite a bit in this level, but don’t like how disconnected everything is from everything else. The main problem, though, is that the main path consists mostly of waiting around on a magic carpet with nothing to do but the occasional trivial jump. The difficulty of the platforming this late into the game means that deaths will happen, and it’s really a detriment that there’s no way around waiting on the carpets.

10 Lethal Lava Land: This level gets credit for being exactly what the game needed after the first set of levels + the first boss. Going into the basement for the first time and encountering a completely flat level is a big surprise, and the tiny safe paths surrounded by lava make the level look extremely perilous. The level is actually pretty tiny, which leaves each chunk with only enough space for one (1) thing to do. The interior of the volcano sure does add a lot, though. It’s like a miniature Tall, Tall Mountain with only a couple of stars.

9 Hazy Maze Cave: This level is pretty okay. The clumps are separated from each other by corridors and doors, which is why it seems like a “maze” but if you smushed them together the layout would be pretty typical. The clumps might be the most varied between each other, too. And this is the only level that contains a mini-level that unlocks a different cap.

8 Shifting Sand Land: The pyramid is cool. Having successive stars where you’re asked to: get to it, explore the inside, then find the secret entrance with a boss is unlike anything else in the game, and it’s neat. Things aren’t as interesting outside the pyramid, but there’s just barely enough there with enough variety to keep things fine. The outside is probably about as good as Lethal Lava Land, and the pyramid is vastly better than the inside of the volcano.

7 Jolly Roger Bay: Okay, I lied a little bit about Shifting Sand Land. In Jolly Roger Bay, there is one star you get by swimming into a sunken ship and hitting something that makes the water drain out. And if you’re thinking about it, that must mean that the ship was resurfacing. Sure enough, when you go back in for the next star, there’s a ship on the surface now! I think that is a little like the pyramid situation, though not quite as cool. This one ranks higher because it’s the only other level outside of Bob-omb Battlefield that feels like a playground where you can basically do anything that seems fun without penalty and if you do well, you’ll be rewarded. Unfortunately, it does the same long, narrow tunnel thing as Dire, Dire Docks. It’s also too easy to be particularly interesting, but of course with its placement in the game, it should not be any more difficult.

6 Thwomp’s Fortress: Most people’s second level, I assume. Does a good job at establishing patterns so that you know that Bob-omb Battlefield isn’t just a fluke, the whole game is that way. It’s a little on the small side, and the platforms that retract into the walls result in a lot of deaths that feel cheap for being so early in the game, but aside from that, it’s all pretty solid.

5 Wet-Dry World: Like with Lethal Lava Land, the game knows exactly what to hit us with to open up a new area after a boss. The goals become a lot less obvious here. There is no obvious “path” that leads through the chunks, so you’re mostly on your own. On the other hand, this is another level that doesn’t punish you for doing things wrong, it’s just more picky about rewarding you than earlier levels.

4 Snowman’s Land: More linear and more punishing than Wet-Dry World, SM64 knows when to break its established rules and when not to. This level does pretty much everything right. I particularly like that they brought back the “bullies” from Lethal Lava Land with the added challenge of ice physics, the hidden area in the igloo, and using the penguin as a shield against the wind.

2 Big Boo’s Haunt: This one uses the normal level approach to make the level feel like a real place. The separate, self-contained rooms would be too limiting, but the connections between the first, second, and third floor and the doors between rooms, plus the balconies make it just as nicely interconnected as everything else. In fact, the balconies in particular are clever real-world examples of ways that actual places have similar designs to SM64 levels. Most of the game is openly and even proudly abstract and artificial. The tension between realistic spaces and interesting level design is still being played out in games today, but here in 1996 we already see that Nintendo already knew what they were doing.

1 Tick Tock Clock: Here’s the other linear level. Based on the criteria I laid out right at the beginning, it seems like a linear level couldn’t be placed this highly, but although I’ve only mentioned “platforming” in passing so far, that really is the absolute core of the game. You run and you jump. If those two things didn’t feel good to do, SM64 would be a bad game regardless of how great the level design is. Tick Tock Clock gives you nothing but opportunities to run and jump well. If it’s like any other part of the game, it’s like being outside the castle right when you start, while you’re figuring out what the controls are. Only now, you already know how to do everything you need to do to beat the game, and you get a chance to do a lot of it.

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radramblog · 4 years ago

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My commander decks, Pt. 2

I don’t like leaving these two-parters open for too long, so I’m gonna nip this one in the bud now.

Zada, Hedron Grinder- Mono-Red Storm/Tokens

My Zada deck came from having played a weird Red/Green Werewolves/Zada Aggro/Combo deck in Shadows over Innistrad standard, and then getting to come back to it some time later since a lot of those cards took a really long time to rotate out for some reason. The deck was, admittedly, kind of a pile, but it was huge fun and could just kill people out of nowhere. This commander deck, based on a very well-put-together list on tappedout, spawned from how much I ended up loving Zada, with her unique effect lending surprisingly well to an all-in combo deck.

This deck doesn’t come out of the box very often, and for pretty good reason. Not a lot of people appreciate getting combo’d off against, especially when it’s as loose and indeterminate as this deck is, and there is just so much math involved that even piloting it can become a pain. It’s incredibly powerful, being fragile in some ways but resilient in ways you wouldn’t expect. It’s actually probably the closest thing to a cEDH deck I have, though it would obviously stand no chance at an actually competitive table.

The deck, at this point, has deviated pretty heavily from the primer it was based on, both since I don’t want to buy overpriced cards that aren’t significant upgrades and because I have some jankier effects I wanted to play (also, because that list has been consistently updated and mine hasn’t). I’ve had it called a Goblins deck, and while there are a lot of Goblin cards in it (I mean, Goblin Matron is there), it actually kinda gets under my skin when people do that. It’s not a Goblin deck, Goblins just happen to be really good at making tokens! I don’t really like Goblins. (Zada is an exception.)

Basandra, Battle Seraph- Boros Forced Combat/Pillowfort

Basandra was one of four decks I built after I got really bored, hit Random 4 times on EDHRec, and designed four decks based on the results. While I did end up proxying up 2 of the others (Seizan Mono-B Group Sl/hug, DL Atarka Dragons/Panharmonicon), Basandra was the only one that resonated with me enough to want to build it for real. It represents to me the possibilities of Boros beyond just aggro and the handful of archetypes the colour pair has been crumbed over the years.

It also happens to be a pretty political deck. While the plan of making people fight each other instead of me is all well and good, in a perfect situation you’re still going to have one more opponent left to deal with. The deck is pretty light in ways to actually win the game, although having a Flying commander does help a little bit (See, she does do something!). With that said, I’ve played the deck enough times to have racked up a few wins, so it’s far from helpless, and the random hate pieces that are mostly in to keep people from going over my defences can just lock some decks out of the game. (If you’re a deck that loses to Aven Mindcensor then you deserve to lose to Aven Mindcensor, sorry)

I really enjoy the Thalia’s Lancers package. Tutors like this and like Mwonvuli Beast Tracker in the Radha deck are fun to build around, with the right combination of cards letting them turn into mini toolboxes. In this deck, the Lancers can find land, ramp, removal, pillowfort effects, card draw, making them extremely versatile. While I am generally opposed to tutors, Lancers get a pass.

O-Kagachi, Vengeful Kami- 5-Colour Spirit Tribal/Cast Triggers

This deck is stupid bad but it’s built around a bunch of silly cards that I love. The spirits of Kamigawa look and feel bizarre, but in an elegant way- they’re off in their own little world, doing whatever, while the rest of the game happens around them.

Unfortunately, most of them kinda suck. There’s a reason I didn’t build around Soulshift, and it’s not because I’d die to Rest in Peace.

This deck, therefore, is an eclectic collection of spirits, good and bad, with the stated goal of finding enough cost reduction to start loop-casting members of the -Onna cycle, generating value through “whenever you cast a Spirit or Arcane spell…” effects. Getting to this point, however, is it’s own endeavour. The deck is desperately in need of a rebuild, with way too high a curve and not enough ramp to support itself. The deck includes the entirety of the Myojin cycle, all 5 Dragon Spirits, and all 3 pieces of Iname- not to mention, most of the Spirits that actually have good effects are fairly mana-hungry themselves. Even the manabase is a bit silly, though I have gotten away with proxying fetches and shocks since the deck doesn’t need any help flopping.

When the deck does get going, though, it can get pretty out of hand. Literally, in fact-the deck can rip through people’s hands and occasionally lands, but the cards doing so are so expensive and bad that it feels more earned than just dropping Narset/Windfall or Armageddon. No-one can stay mad when they lose to Myojin of Infinite Rage, since the Myojin is the one with all the Rage. It can be resilient as well, with great recursion effects such as Karador and Iname, Life Aspect just happening to be Spirits. It’s still not good, but it’s something.

Gonti, Lord of Luxury- Mono-Black Theft/Control

Like Zada, Gonti spawned from a standard deck I enjoyed playing, in this case the Azor’s Gateway Mono-Black Control deck I piloted to surprising success for a long time. A fair few cards in the deck come directly from that list, including the incredibly water-damaged Torment of Hailfire and some of the weirdo one ofs like Tetzimoc and Liliana, Death’s Majesty. The deck is grindier than anything, with incremental draw being the name of the game and murdering opponent’s threats the subtitle. Gonti, in addition to being one of my favourite cards of all time, supports Mono-Black Control quite well, being able to grab answers to things that would normally be pretty difficult for mono-B to handle off of other people’s decks, or creating synergies where no-one expects them. As a result, while there’s not as many of this type of effect as many Gonti decks, there is still some amount of cards that let Gonti re-enter than most decks they helm, there’s still a fair few ways to do so.

Theft is not a particularly well-supported strategy, especially in Black, but it serves to add replayability and versatility to the deck. The deck doesn’t play a huge number of threats, and most of the ones that it does are those that add to the steady value train or that double as something else. I haven’t quite committed to putting Praetor’s Grasp in, but I’m thinking about it. I also opted not to add in the new hotness of Opposition Agent, because as it turns out that’s not the kind of magic I want to play, and with a full hand and frequent planeswalkers on the board I don’t really need to go out of my way to generate more hate.

Playing this deck does harken back to that old standard deck, thinking ahead about which cards I need to keep around to answer certain threats I guess are coming up, and getting unexpected surprises off the top of my opponent’s library to win in unexpected ways (I once Gonti’d a Radiant Destiny off of my opponent’s Vampire deck, realised between Gonti and a few Gifteds I had a pile of Aetherborn cooking, and beat them down with that). Control is far from my favourite deck archetype, but it’s nice to have the option there if I want it.

Hallar, the Firefletcher- Gruul Kicker

My Hallar deck was given to me as part of the EDH subreddit’s Secret Santa, the maybe only year it was ran, and it still shows some evidence of the budget limit that exchange carried. While I have done my best to improve on it and diversify it, there’s really only so much one can do with such a narrow commander.

With that said, it’s not like the deck is bad. Especially since the addition of more Kicker cards in Zendikar Rising, Hallar has more option to choose from, and they can get burning very quickly. From what I’ve seen, however, most Hallar decks build around cheap Kicker costs, trying to trigger their ability as many times as possible as quickly as possible. And while some of these cheaper cards are of course present in my list, I chose to instead play some of the other bigger kicker cards, along with more ramp, to help spread the attention away from Hallar as needed and to give the deck something to do if they start costing upwards of 10 mana. I’m not convinced this added resilience is the correct path, but it’s my path, and the deck performs admirably even faced against substantially more expensive lists.

With that, I have listed all of my current commander decks. While I have a few in the build process, maybe I should stop? Because 10 is likely enough. Either way, I hope you enjoyed reading about what and why these decks are, and I hope to see you on the other side of a table soon. (I won’t play Zada game one, promise.)

#ramble #edh #commander #mtg

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hollenka99 · 4 years ago

Text

The Creator

Summary: When Sean discovers he has the ability to bring his characters to life, he wasn’t expecting to be shunned by them or for it to lead to tragedy time and time again.

Warnings: Blood mention, implied death (including children), kidnapping mention

Sean wishes he never went to Max's house that night. It wasn't any fun. They were just really mean to him and he didn't like it. It's not like he didn't try to stay awake. It was a dumb anyway. His mother asks him if he'd like her to speak with Max's mother. He tells her no. In response she encourages him to stop moping about if it wasn't that bad. Well, fine then. Max sucks and Sean can make a way better friend than him any day. Right, what kind of qualities should a good friend have? He should be kind always, never teases him in a mean way, be willing to be there for him and want to join in with his games. For the hell of it, Sean adds 'never sleeps' to the criteria. This imaginary friend is named Jack, after the family nickname. Having been moulded into the 6 year old's interpretation of a perfect friend, Jack becomes a concrete part of Sean's life. Jack is always there when he gets home from school. They mess around in the woods near the house, complain about homework together and share a great deal of laughter between themselves. For years, his parents and siblings brush it off as him being a little boy. However, Sean is undeniably getting older. With each birthday, having an imaginary friend is increasingly becoming something he should outgrow. And he is, somewhat. It's just that Jack feels so real to him. But his friend understands. Sean is no longer 6 and it is time for him to gradually mature. He gets crushes, makes his way through secondary school and decides he may have made a mistake with his original degree choice. Through it all, he's maintained an interest in video games. So screw it, there is a place for gaming content on YouTube. What does he have to lose? This damn cabin doesn't exactly allow him many opportunities to socialise with those outside his family otherwise. He goes by Jacksepticeye on the website, harkening back to a nickname he gained following an injury years before. Months pass and it is soon July. To his surprise, his channel's subscriber count reaches 1000. He's delighted. That was 1000 more than he'd ever really expected. He films a vlog to mark the occasion and thank his audience. Something he'd expected even less than his sub count was his doppelganger, complete with an identical outfit, collapsing in front of his television. Regaining composure after getting to his feet, the clone speaks. "Um, hi Sean." "What the fuck? Who are you and why do look like me?" "I'm Jack." "Okay. Hello Jack. What the hell are you doing in my living room?" "No, Jack as in... Jack. From when you were a kid." Sean stands there, no words coming from his mouth. He seems to remember himself after a minute. "But you're imaginary. You were an imaginary friend, it's kind of in the name." "I guess that's changed." Jack shrugs, obviously as lost as he was by this unique situation. Sean falls back onto the sofa. With his hands in his hair, he lets out a deep breath. Jack gently sits himself on the other side of the sofa. Not bothering to lift his head, Sean opens his mouth. "I'm going to be honest. This was not how I imagined my day going." "I didn't think I'd suddenly come to life either." Sean leans back and their eyes meet. A beat passes before they both descend into laughter at the absurdity of it. That summer is phenomenal compared to his previous expectations for it. He introduces Jack to so many things that he usually took for granted. They eat more tubs of ice cream together than was healthy, don't allow a week to pass without a competitive gaming session and occasionally wander about in the woods surrounding the cabin. There was apparently a whole other world with people Jack haphazardly described as 'the NPCs to my main character'. Their faces were probably based on people Sean had walked past in the street. There was this completely separate world and the entry point was simply lingering outside his cabin. It was inconceivable. When he gets the courage to venture through the gateway, he discovers it's actually a bit remote. Isolated, like his cabin is. Jack helps him laugh it off. Besides, he couldn't be expected to be creative with his literal worldbuilding if he didn't know how he was doing it in the first place. Jack introduces him to a friend who was like him. This Australian guy called Angus Irwin tags along to a hang out session. Here was this person, standing right before him, whom he was entirely responsible for creating. By messing around in Far Cry 3 and putting on a dumb accent, he'd created life. What the hell was he capable of? The three of them are firm friends by the time the local trees have suffered a significant loss of leaves. He and Jack gradually become the joint face of the Jacksepticeye channel. For some reason (Jack cited Sean's 6 year old self for this) his doppelganger didn't sleep. This was actually very beneficial for him because he could edit while Sean slept. God knows Jack complained enough about his sleep schedule. When he gets announced as a winner of Pewdiepie's shout out competition in September, Jack swings by to congratulate him. Along with Angus, the trio spent the evening celebrating this bizarre occasion. There was a lot of work he'd have to put in to keep the momentum going but Sean knew it would be worth it in the end. The colder months fly by after that. Jack had never been particularly affected by the cold before. However, now that he could feel it, he suffered the consequences of not wearing enough layers. Jack detesting the cold is funny to Sean, especially after how much his friend thrived in summer. Angus wasn't used to the lower Irish temperatures either. He helped them stay warm as best he could. That goddamn cabin with its internally forming frost didn't help but still, he tried. He jokes he should conjure up more radiators for Jack and Angus' home despite not having the faintest clue how to actually do so. As the new year approaches, Sean realises he never gave Jack a birthday. They could have celebrated in November because he is maybe 90% sure Max was born during that month. Therefore, Jack would have been initially thought up during November 1996. But Sean had no idea what the specific date of creation was. Not to mention November had already passed anyway. There was that date in July but he wasn't sure he should pick the anniversary of Jack becoming corporeal as his birthday. At a loss, he goes for the day he associates with birthdays the most. Who says Jack couldn't share his birthday? He blanks on what to get his friend. He's not sure where he gets the dumb idea to let Jack experience hot chocolate for the first time as a birthday treat. Jack gets understandably frustrated by this ban on the drink. It pays off when Sean gets to witness the wonderful sight of his friend enjoying hot chocolate. Lost on what to give Angus for his birthday in early April, he approaches Jack for ideas. His friend suggests getting a toy leopard and jewellery that can fit on the animal. Sean can't help but question the odd combination. When Jack explains leopards love jewellery, especially the gold digging females, it's as if these were widely known facts. Sean had been bullshitting when he'd spouted that nonsense. Jack reminds him it was factual to Angus. Oh alright, fuck it. Let's present Angus with a jewellery loving leopard on his birthday. As predicted, the Australian wildlife man greatly appreciates the gift. It's late summer once more when Sean's problems begin. Jack mentions being concerned about their friend's changing sleeping habits. Then Angus' memory gradually starts suffering. Throughout 2015, Angus gets worse. Jack's always had a big mouth. He tends to speak before he truly thinks things through. Sean's technically to blame for that. However, it hasn't been much of an issue until now. The first time Jack brings up potentially finding a way to reverse whatever was affecting Angus, he hates to reject him. The painfully dejected look in his best friend's eyes breaks his heart. He wants to help, he really does. He just can't. Not long after, he spends an hour or two looking for a game with an open world. Perhaps he could put on an Australian accent for the anniversary of the character's first appearance. Nothing comes up. Life gets in the way. Sean abandons the search for a while. Jack never allows him to forget for too long. What starts as "I'm worried about Angus" soon morphs into "Angus only called me Jake once today". The longer it goes on, the more desperate Jack gets. And angrier. Sean has never seen such frustrated fury in his friend. He wishes he never had to. He's not even sure if he can call himself a true friend anymore, given how much he's already failed them. The cycle of attempting to find a solution and putting it on the back burner due to no leads continues. As do the arguments with Jack. Contrary to popular belief, he is putting in the effort. The main problem was he never seemed to have anything to show for it. He still cares for Angus too. The reason he wasn't visiting their home as often was because he didn't always feel welcome. As was in Jack's nature, he kept forgiving him. He'd say it was fine and Sean would agree for the sake of it. But it wasn't fine. He is beginning to forget when the last time things were 'fine'. Following some filming with Ninja Sex Party, Sean is excited to dress up as a superhero for a bit during a Welcome To The Game video. Jack is just as pleased to make a new friend. Jackie is a surprise, his young age even more so. He was 16 and, as far Jack had told him, brimming with excess energy. The new arrival had been a shock for Jack too, apparently. The most he could offer the kid last night was a can of Dr Pepper and some custard creams. Shit, this was new territory. He hasn't had to deal with a new ego in years. Jackie's age causes conversations about school and whether the boy would need an education in the first place. Sean doesn't necessarily see the point. Was Jackie currently the only minor in their world? Because in that case, has a high school suddenly popped up to accommodate a single student? Even if Sean created a character with children at a later date, the kids would probably be the wrong age group to attend school with Jackie. If it was that important to Jack to see the young superhero have an education, he would have to do it himself. Being home-schooled would also allow Jackie to do his job. Attempts at being responsible aside, he ensures Jackie knows he can come to him if needs anything specific. Naturally, he gravitates to Jack as his adult role model. Sean doesn't mind. They live together and Jackie therefore has easier access to him. But Sean is still there if the need arises. A month later, he buys a cheap cat mask that covers half of his face. It was something to use once and forget about until you throw it away in a big spring clean. The magic set was the same, only with extra smaller parts. The video is nothing spectacular. All it entailed was him messing around with the box's contents before switching to decorating the mask. The last thing he was anticipating was the creation of life. Although, by this point, perhaps he should have. Besides, he hadn't even given himself a name. It was just 'Jack the Magnificent'. Jack comes to rectify this oversight a couple days later. He explains he'd made the suggestion the night of Marvin's arrival. The box had the name on it so why not let the new ego make it his own? The main issue Jack had with all this was that Marvin had not been planned in the slightest. With Jackie, there'd been some preparation. Neither of them may have foreseen his creation but at least there had been a name and outfit. All Marvin had was a mask, plus a name that was already taken. "This better not happen again." Jack privately demands. "I don't want another Angus. God knows you're not going to help." Jack swings by at the end of August to inform him Jackie's in hospital. He'd gotten stabbed while confronting a thief. He was fine, recovering well and all that but he thought Sean might want to know. On the subject of requiring medical care, Jack brings up the idea to have a doctor ego. Just someone who understood their unique situation and could also take care of their health. Oh, oh yeah. He can totally do that. He'll need some things for the video so give him a chance to prepare but definitely, one doctor coming right up. He feels somewhat dumb playing Operation as if it were a serious procedure in this cheap surgeon's outfit he bought over the weekend. And yes, even he can admit the 'German' accent was atrocious. Half of what comes out of his mouth is bullshit. If this works as intended and he creates an ego from it, this guy is sure going to be interesting. He pretends to be distressed over Peter's death. Then it hits him that Dr Schneeplestein probably won't appreciate him killing his friend and personal accountant. He could try refilm it but he doubts he has the time. Fix it through editing? Sure, but then it might be obvious that there was another part. Alright fine, maybe he'll just have to deal with the consequences. Dr Henrik von Schneeplestein is indeed an interesting guy. A married father too, which surprises him. Not only has he made the doctor, there is a new family of 5 in the egos' neighbourhood. One of these days he'll know what he's doing with this creation thing. For now though, he thinks it's very cool that he managed a 5 for the price of 1 deal. Henrik himself is intelligent and if Sean was more knowledgeable on certain topics, he's sure they'd be able to share thoughtful conversations. Either way, Henrik was incredibly busy with his professional duties and personal commitments. It was understandable that neither had much time in the day to sit down and truly get to know one another. For the hell of it, he throws in a little extra into the egos' characterisation. They can't die. Or, to be more specific, they can't die for long. Jackie gets stabbed and bleeds out? Easy, just deal with the wound and he should wake up after a while. What this means for Peter, who knows? Sean is secretly thankful when the accountant isn't granted life. That's one less person to keep happy. Like seemingly everything ego-related he does, it backfires. Within a year, this failsafe will have caused more suffering than hope. Sean isn't to know. However, he convinces himself he's done the right thing for once. He sure as hell knows how much trouble it's going to cause him if they don't believe that too. Sean makes an irreversible mistake in the October of 2016. The entire month, he has glitches sprinkled throughout his horror game videos. He gets so caught up in the teasing and build up that he doesn't contemplate how this will affect the egos. Worse yet, he recklessly allows Jack to film the Halloween video. Sure, he would have used a bit of red paint if it had been him filming. But since it was Jack? He doesn't want to imagine the scene Jackie discovers. God, he can't believe he's been so thoughtless. Signe has to encourage him to bed before he manages to rack up over 24 hours of being awake in one go. Resurrecting the dead is exhausting, he finds. He postpones visiting Jack for a day before realising his avoidance is likely making matters worse. The dread cumulates to the point he swears he will be sick if he doesn't actively focus on his breathing. The loophole he made in September might have ensured nobody died permanently but it never mentioned scars. It's not visible behind the bandages but he knows it's there. Jack is pissed off. Rightfully so. Matters worsen even more after Jackie vanishes while attempting to get away from their fighting. It's just another thing that's ruined the egos' perception of him. If he thought the hill Jack was ready to die on was Angus, he's got another thing coming. There's only so much he can take before he has to force apathy for the sake of his sanity. He understands he can't control Antisepticeye. Once this situation is dealt with, he vows, the demon will never be used on his channel again. The subscribers' love for the character will have to ignored. It's too risky to play Anti again. He puts the red suit on again. In the short video, only a minute or so in length, Jackie sprints through poorly lit corridors to the exit. Sean acts scared and looks behind him frequently as he runs. It is uploaded privately. His community didn't need to know anything about this. He hopes with everything he's got that it works. Nothing. For days, for weeks, for months. Sean doesn't bother letting the egos know what he'd tried to do. It's guaranteed Jack and Marvin would tell him to try harder. He has no idea what that means in this context. Christmas passes without incident. As does January. In February, he celebrates his 27th birthday alongside Jack. It's a day devoid of resentment. Sean had almost forgotten that was allowed in their friendship. He exaggerates his dissatisfaction about getting older. In response to this, Jack smears the frosting of his slice across Sean's face. 'Accidentally', of course. Just as accidentally as Sean reciprocated the action. Signe humours them by taking photographs of their new cake-based look. The next time they are hanging out in Jack's room, he notices a picture from that day is in a frame on his friend's dresser. "What's this about?" "Oh uh, this is going to sound dumb but... I like being reminded it isn't always so rough between us." "No. No, I get it. I um, I feel the same way. That day was great." He glances at the image once more. He lets out a humoured scoff. "Maybe I should save your dumb face to my phone." "Aww, wow, I knew you loved me really." Jack puts his arm around his shoulder. A playful shove. "Fuck off." In an emotional slump during April, he buys a bunch of Lyons boxes and mini chocolate eggs. It's just a parody of Dude Perfect from someone with zero accuracy. Then he does the stupid thing and creates life again. Fuck it, his wife hates him and he may never see his kids again. Chase Brody's depression causes him to pretend to shoot himself before the end card plays. When Jack calls him and demands to know what the hell he was thinking, Sean has no answer. It turns out that when the ending translated into Chase's reality, he'd actually shot himself in the head. Fuck. Afterwards, Jack doesn't provide his creator with any updates. Insisting he has the right to talk to Chase only makes him more hated. Despite having never met before, Chase already resents him. The next time an ego is intentionally created, Sean's going to be there to intercept them. They're not going to enter that home and have their opinion of him influenced by people who wished he wasn't in their lives. The next new guy would be given a fair chance to see Sean for what he was. A massive screw up when it came to the ability he's unsure how to master. But in no way was he some villain. August is around the corner when Jack asks to visit. The two of them seem to be on the same page that day. Sean is more than happy to hang out and cheer him up. Believing Jack would be empathetic, he begins a conversation about how the YouTube algorithm was bothering him. Over three years of working as a duo on the Jacksepticeye channel meant Jack should understand where he was coming from. But, of course, his friend makes it all about himself and his own problems. Why wouldn't he? It's what he usually does. They argue because apparently that's the only way they communicate with each other nowadays. Jack sure knows how to pack a punch. Being friends with him shouldn't be such a struggle. Sean snaps. The emotional fatigue of trying to keep up with the algorithm and all this fighting causes him to make one of the worst decisions he'd ever go through with. If Jack wants him to be the bad guy, fine. Sean would be the bad guy. Just this once, he'd actually be the asshole. "You want to sleep, I'll let you sleep." He threatens when Jack begins walking off mid-argument. "Bring back Jackie. He's been missing for months. Do something!" Jack flings viciously back seconds before he marches out the door. He can tell Signe regrets asking him how the gaming session went. He dresses as Schneeplestein as soon as he finalises his plan, pretending he aims to save a version of himself in Bio Inc Redemption. He loses. Oops. He acts as he feels the real Schneeplestein would, desperate not to watch another patient die. He sends the video to Robin for editing. The final uploaded product is nowhere near what he'd recorded. His audience are all talking about Anti. They were praising him for his acting and Robin for his editing. But... he never included Anti. Any recollection of filming the final scene was non-existent. And the parts with Henrik getting possessed weren't him either. The more he thinks about it, the further the terror sets in. Over the course of years, Jack had chipped at Sean's mind until he cracked. It had only meant to end with Jack slipping into a coma. Just a chance for Sean to focus on his own problems for once. He would have gotten Henrik to wake his patient up when Sean was ready. God, he just wanted peace for a change. It was never meant to happen like this. Marvin ever so pleasantly greets him with a "Fuck off" when he tries to visit Jack. He supposes he deserves it. But he didn't come here just to back down at the first sight of opposition. He may have caused Jack to be in that coma but, as his friend, he was still entitled to a visit. He has to push past Marvin just to get in. "Leave right now before I make you regret it." Marvin tails him through the corridor. "Hey, listen, I'll be the first to admit I fucked up big time-" He says over his shoulder. "You don't say." "But he was my friend too. I am seeing him whether you like it or not." "Well, I don't like it. And this is my home. So get out." Fed up to the back teeth of Marvin, he halts to whip around before lashing out. "We both know a bad mood on my part can spell disaster for you. That is how we got into this situation is the first place. So I would watch your mouth." "Oh, look at me, I'm Sean McLoughlin. I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it." Marvin uses a mocking tone before reverting to venom once more. "Guess that's what you told your 'best friend' before you put him in a fucking coma, isn't it?" "Don't you dare suggest I don't care." "You made him feel like he had no choice but to keep being nice to your sorry ass. He barely survived Halloween and now look where he's en-" "God, cut it out!" Chase marches towards them, looking as if he was 30 seconds from grabbing a weapon to silence them. "Both of you. Sean, you have 10 minutes then we want you gone. Marv, leave him alone because we honestly have enough shit going on without you stirring more of it." Marvin bluntly says "Five." "Okay, fine, you have 5 minutes then you leave." The magician clearly isn't satisfied with this compromise but decides it's not worth the effort of fighting further. "Thank you." "It wasn't for you. I did it so I can avoid a headache." Chase promptly leaves him to it. He's not even sure he wants to enter once he reaches the infirmary's doors. Still, he's gone through too much trouble to get this far. He can't undo all that effort now. He walks into the room and- Nope, he can't do this. He means, look at Jack! He makes for an awful sight. If his friend had looked terrible while recovering from Say Goodbye, this was a whole other level. He decides against making it past the doors. He's simply there in the corridor, sobbing. "Sean, I think you should go before Marvin tries to commit arson or something." It's the most patience Chase can muster after all that's happened this week. Sean can't appreciate the effort enough. He answers with a mix of 'Uh-huh, yeah, sure.' Jackie looks like he hasn't eaten a thing in the past 11 months when Sean answers the door to him in early October. He doesn't know what to say. If Jack were currently conscious, he would have probably informed Sean of the kid's arrival by now. Yet, as it stood, Marvin seemed to be the new 'leader' and pigs would fly before he bothered to do anything that benefited Sean. He notices Jackie never lets his feet touch the ground the entire time he's there. There is a long silence in the living room before Jackie comes out with "Why didn't you do anything?" "I tried but it didn't work." "Somehow I struggle to believe that." "Jackie-" "You could have prevented a lot of shit. But why fucking bother when we're not even real, right?" "If you give me a couple minutes, I could find that video where I tried to trigger your escape." Jackie doesn't reply. He locates the footage for him regardless. The teenager remains silent the whole time. Sean decides to break it. "It must have backfired but I did try." He notices Jackie glaring at his own legs. "Great, now I know you're to blame. Not to mention you moved country while I was gone. Thanks for making me walk from Athlone, by the way." The boy superhero abruptly makes his exit, making no attempt to elaborate. Well then, great chat. Except, wait. Walk from Athlone? How the hell do you walk from Athlone to Brighton?! Sean makes good on the promise he made to himself months before. He risks uploading the pictures to Instagram. On the 29th, there is a fair amount of hype at the potential new character. He lingers inconspicuously near the egos' home for a couple hours, keeping himself occupied with his phone in case the ego didn't appear. Which he doesn't. He repeats the activity after posting the 2nd photo on the 30th. Still nothing. It's the video on Halloween that triggers creation. It was a simple thing. The same as the previous two years, he had carved a pumpkin. The main difference was that he had dressed up like a dapper gentleman, waistcoat and bowler hat inclusive. There was some glitching at the end, nothing Sean or Robin had a hand in. He supposes he should be glad there was such a small interruption. Outside the house, he spots the lost time traveller. His first surprise, for both of them it would seem, was that Jameson had lost the ability to speak. He seems reluctant to use the speech slides. No worries. Sean can buy a notepad or two for him tomorrow. Learning to sign, or in the very least understand it. will take a considerable amount of time. Written responses would have to be a sufficient compromise for now. Either way, the most important thing was that Jameson was willing to come with him before he met the others. He is in awe of Jameson. He knows he'd intended to create an ego with a proper backstory but this was far more than he'd been expecting. He had drafted a brief life story beforehand. Jameson would be the middle child of three in an upper class British family. He'd be too young to join WW1 but his brother would lose his hearing to it, allowing Jameson to know sign by the time he went missing. Maybe throw in some time in the army for good measure. However his power worked, it filled in the gaps nicely. Jameson is fully fleshed out, as are his memories. "Thanks for humouring me." He tells Signe that night. She hums in acknowledgement of what he'd said. "You can't keep him here forever, you realise that, right? I'll let you have tomorrow. But you really should let him make his own choices after that." On the 1st, Chase comes knocking. Sean relents, allowing him in to be introduced to Jameson. As expected, Chase calls him out. He assures Jameson that it was fine to go with the unfamiliar ego. As hostile as Chase was, he was still trustworthy and believed he had Jameson's best interests at heart. He lets his latest creation go. Now he will be taught the egos' version of the 'truth'. He doubted Jameson would be rushing back. But oh, there he is days later. It's completely reasonable for the dapper man to want answers. Sean provides them to the best of his ability. Jameson surprises him once more when he says he'll let the deception slide if he cuts it out from now on. Of course he will. As Jameson heads off back to his world, Sean is thankful he made him open minded. While having a casual conversation, Jameson mentions befriending someone named Shawn. At first, Sean is simply perplexed at the written name. Jameson knows how to spell his name, even includes the fada. So surely Shawn couldn't be him. When he has his friend explain, he can't believe it. Shawn Flynn. In other words, his Bendy voice cameo. Okay, egos like Henrik, Chase or Marvin, he could understand. Those guys had gotten specific videos that centred around them. He also got the whole 'springing from him putting on a voice for a series' thing with Angus and Jacques etc. Robbie... well, who the fuck knows what happened there. The point was they all came from his channel and his channel alone. Shawn Flynn was not his to claim. He was only a voice, a few sentences' worth of speech. He will always be amazed by his community's power to create from scraps. As soon as he lost Jack's contribution to the channel, he had been forced to pick up the slack. Even with Robin editing most videos, recording twice as many as he was used to was taking its toll. Something had to be done. He needed a new recording partner. And who better to help him than someone who already had experience with maintaining a channel? Obviously, Chase is opposed to the idea at first. He tries to get him to listen to his reasoning. Without Jack, he was struggling to have time for himself anymore. If he has no time outside of work, then how is he supposed to figure out how to reverse the coma? Not to mention, the community members were the ones responsible for keeping the egos from fading. Chase agrees to, in the very least, consider the offer. Sean is glad to have him as part of the team when he reluctantly accepts it. He is very grateful too. He knows this requires a sacrifice on Chase's part, perhaps more than he is aware of. In the run up to Christmas, he'd simply wanted to raise money for Save The Children with the help of his friends and community. There had occasionally been odd noises throughout the first day but nothing super suspicious. He has no clue where the hell the security footage came from. He had intended for the stream to stay up, sure, but it was meant to display a screensaver. Some people begin to notice the glitches and unusual goings on were triggered by donations of at least $1000. Well, how nice to learn that Anti liked encouraging charitable donations. The day after the event is over, Jameson attempts to speak to him about it. Listen, he's really sorry to hear about what happened over at the house. It's awful that Jackie suffered a huge panic attack from the music. But what do they expect him to do about an event that's already passed and he had no control over in the first place? The less he has to think about 'Overnightwatch' over the holidays, or Anti in general during the new year, the better. He's so fucking done with 2017. The following cold months blur. The Dr Jacksepticeye character becomes a community-made ego in January. That was great. He was aware the egos had been struggling to provide Jack professional medical care. March sees Chase getting custody of his kids on the weekend. Although he doesn't risk ruining the party with the scene his attendance would cause, he congratulates Chase on the good news in person. To top things off, he began the first leg of his tour. That had been a hell of an experience. Maybe 2018 would indeed be a better year. This hope is kept alight at the start of May. He had spent months attempting to work out how to save Jackie. Following that, they lost Henrik only to welcome the hero back. Then the doctor had been out of reach since August. It is for this reason that he receives the news of Henrik's return with great relief. Chase is ecstatic when he recounts what had happened at the end of his recording session. Sean is happy for him. He and the rest of egos need more positive events in their lives. Jackie certainly surprises him when he randomly shows up at his door days later. Signe gives him a heads up about the visitor as he leaves a recording session. The teenager comes across as distracted while they talk. Something feels really off. Then again, they haven't been able to talk since his kidnapping. Months' worth of trauma were bound to change how Jackie acted in certain situations. When he eventually leaves, Sean feels like he's missing some sort of sign. The community goes insane after Dark Silence is uploaded. He cautiously makes himself watch the infamous ending. Once more, Anti has added content to a video. The whole time Chase stands in that hallway, Sean is begging his screen for his friend to start sprinting in the other direction, as far from Anti as he could manage. But, of course, you can't prevent an abduction through a screen, especially when it had happened hours beforehand. Chase seemed so distressed. The thought of his reaction to Anti won't leave Sean be. Nor will those two questions. Jameson swings by in an attempt to comfort him. For what it's worth, his heart is in the right place. Sean just doesn't feel he's in a position to appreciate the efforts properly. He supposes this is his opportunity to finally get a rescue attempt right. Yet, with the tour and having to revert back to multiple recordings a day, time slips away. No doubt he'll get accused of not caring. Thankfully, Chase returns in June. Mostly unscathed physically too which is good. He wishes the same could be said for mental repercussions. Chase relapsing hard with his alcoholism wasn't great to hear either. Suffice to say, Chase needed help. Some good news about the whereabouts of his ex and two young children would be fantastic too. The Akinator video is fun. He enjoys making that website's algorithm figure out the characters. Admittedly, he doesn't know whether picking Jameson for a round was a smart idea. Even worse are some of the questions he gets offered. There are two specifically he doesn't feel comfortable answering on camera. He plays it off as teasing eventual ego content to his audience. In reality, he's not sure it's his place to say. And it's hardly like he can put the recording on hold to contact Jameson about his personal life. The video goes up and the community naturally laps it up. Sean wonders if he should be concerned about the fact Jameson was yet to speak to him about it. In October, he asks Jameson to deliver a card on his behalf. Henrik would be amputating Jackie's legs in an attempt to reverse one of the most prominent aftereffects of his time with Anti. Therefore, a get well card was in order. It's not much but he hopes Jackie will appreciate the gesture nonetheless. Jameson simply shrugs as he hands him a note a couple weeks later. He ends up finding the message humourous. On it is written: Thanks for the card but you don't need to bother next time. He's just about had enough of Anti when Quit The Game To Win gets recorded. He's not sure at which point in the video he becomes lightheaded. There's a brief moment of zoning out then he's sitting at his desk, having sent the video off for editing a minute prior. Unlike the other times, there is no extra content even Robin was oblivious to. The footage of Sean staring into the camera had undoubtedly been there the whole time. They debate whether to upload it. The decision gets taken out of their hands when it is uploaded regardless. That goddamn bastard. He probably realises Sean can't take down a video like that with no explanation. And what explanation is there to give? The community has no idea the egos were real or that it was actually Anti speaking to them. Oh but sure, the compliments to his 'amazing acting' pour in without fail. Also, next phase? What the hell was Anti planning to do? He and the egos would have to remain proceeding with caution. On his 29th birthday, he is surprised to find numerous egos on his doorstep. A little dumbfounded, he invites them in for cake. It wasn't like he was doing much today other than typical work stuff and checking out the community's birthday art. Chase spots his notebook, the one containing his story plans. This topic of conversation leads to them encouraging him to rectify his mistakes by waking Jack up. He's all for it. Even after all these years, he's not sure how exactly his power worked. He gets it into his head that staying up indefinitely will cause Jack to remain conscious. Somehow, this becomes the actual criteria. As the day goes on, he thinks about how things must be like over at the egos' home. It must be wonderful to have Jack up and about. He can imagine him sharing jokes, laughing and smiling, just generally enjoying the company of friends. He's always been a bit of a night owl. He can manage to stay up the whole night, for Jack's sake. Jack deserves as much time as he can give him. He increases his caffeine intake. It didn't matter whether it was coffee or a fizzy drink. If it had caffeine and could help him stay up longer, he'd drink it. His plan seemingly backfires when he plays Shadow of the Colossus while exhausted. He wakes up with a crick in his neck, the sight of Wander stationary upon Agro's back and looming guilty disappointment. When he checks in, Henrik confirms Jack was indeed back in the medical bay, unresponsive as ever. The doctor tells him that, not for nothing, they'd all enjoyed the day. It had been after 2am when Jack had begun exhibiting signs of diminishing consciousness. Even if the others may not admit it, he was sure he wasn't the only one who appreciated what Sean had given them. Perhaps one of the stupidest things he ever voluntarily subjects himself to occurs that May. He leaves peculiar edits in the Observation series. Then he posts an unlisted video of him facing off against his clone with a bloodied throat and exclusively black attire. It works. For the first time in Sean's life, he stands in Anti's presence. As it turns out, Anti is grateful. If it hadn't been for Sean spending weeks playing around with a community fuelled concept, complete with a grande finale, the glitch would still be lurking in the shadows as a nobody. Sean had solidified him. Antisepticeye had long since stopped being a fun idea that lived purely in fan creations or Tumblr headcanon posts. Even better, he'd been armed with a knife and violent tendencies. Bit of a bad combination, wouldn't you say? In fact, he's been revelling in watching the whole Sean vs Egos fiasco. Because sure, he could blame a lot of things on Anti if he wanted. But the mistrust that began with Jack then seeped into the others via the original ego? Sean's doing. The one who used his powers of creation when, even to this day, he doesn't quite understand how on earth they worked? Sean. Best yet, letting his emotions cause him to put a loved one in a coma he had no clue how to reverse? Once again, courtesy of Sean McLoughlin. Sean brushes these comments off. He's been called out too many times to be that easily affected by it. Besides, he had some things on his own mind that needed saying. Where were Stacy and the kids? Oh, in a ditch. They served no use without Chase's conscience there to haunt. Actually, where had Anti himself been during all these years? Here, there, everywhere. Why stay in one spot when he thrived on being near impossible to pin down. Any question Sean has, Anti's answers are delivered nonchalantly. Right. That's how Anti wants to play it, huh? He creates another piece of footage. This time, he dresses as Chase and speaks on the phone. 'Chase' begs Stacy to take the kids, stay hidden and only contact him when she really needs to. Once Sean posts it (privately of course), the real Chase updates him on the recent developments in his life. He'd gotten a text from Stacy saying they were safe for now. He had only managed to compose himself before leaving the house but ah look, there go the waterworks again. Sean apologises as he makes it abundantly clear that Chase would not be able to see his family for a while. It was for their safety. Chase understood, right? Yes, yes of course. For good measure, he also talks to Henrik. His wife and children weren't in as imminent danger of becoming Anti's targets right now. However, there was no harm in staying vigilant. It was up to the doctor but Sean thought it would be for the best if they maintained a low profile for now. Sean discusses another video with Chase in October. The father is reluctant to have more of his story explored, especially if things are going to play out the way Sean had planned. That's fine, he assures. That was exactly why he wanted Chase to be part of the process. Besides, it may seem a little bleak right now but his fortunes would improve as soon as the ball started rolling. When it comes to filming the short video, Chase kills it. The community may be praising Sean but he makes sure Chase is aware of the love he had earned. He decides to allow Jameson another solo video for his birthday. They brainstorm together, coming up with the premise of a puppet show. Jameson is the one who comes up with the 'I can't be questioned, I'm rich!' joke. As soon as he does, he goes off on a tangent about how he used to know people like that. Hell, his own parents had been like that. Sean laughs along with him. The first sight of trouble is the random bit of string around his arm. Jameson naively removes it without becoming suspicious. Sean's been in this position before. If the video's up, it's already way too late for the targeted ego. He forces himself to watch to the end. Jameson's wrapping up the story when the strings reappear. His arms go limp before he begins swaying on the spot. It is clearly Anti who is controlling his movements now. Sean really wishes he didn't know the sign for 'help'. He bets Jameson believes he has the power to save him. If only he did. The worst part of it is having to witness Jameson clearly attempting to fight against it. If Sean thought Henrik's distress during Kill Jacksepticeye had been a challenge to watch, he had another thing coming. Goddamn it. Can he please go one year without losing more of those he cared about? He'd once been friends with Angus before the fading fiasco caused them to drift apart. Jack kept giving second chance after second chance until Sean had let his frustration screw that up. Chase had gradually begun to see him as potentially trustworthy, only for Anti to kidnap him and set them back to square one. Is it too much to ask for them to feel happy and safe as well as remaining so? His 30th birthday is quiet. There are no egos hassling him or attempts to initiate a bout of insomnia. It's a nice day chilling out with Evelein and BB. He would have enjoyed it even more if he knew he'd achieved his goal of waking Jack up by now. Or even getting Jameson back. The last person he expects to see coming round to his house is Marvin. He doesn't think the magician is entirely sure why he chose to do this either. He states that he gave his word when he said he'd never forgive Sean. With his fae heritage, that meant something and he couldn't go back on that. Marvin seemed offended when Sean shows surprise upon learning he had connection to fae. Well, how exactly was Sean supposed to know this detail if Marvin's been keeping him far away for 2.5 years, especially since they hadn't been best buddies pre-coma either? The magician scowls before returning to a calmer neutral demeanour. He carries on his point. Marvin may not be able to forgive Sean for what he's done, not that he really has a reason to given what was still happening to the egos. That said, he wasn't going to judge his friends as harshly anymore if they decided to give their creator a chance. That uh... shit, that was huge coming from Marvin. All he can reply with is a thank you. August rears it's terrible head. It's been three years now. 36 whole months, god knows how many weeks or individual days. He's had all this time to fix this yet is still working on it. And oh, sure, he can rationalise it. He can remind himself that during 2018, if he wasn't on tour then he was preparing for a leg or decompressing after one. Not to mention that had also been the year he'd finally started addressing his mental health. Now, the biggest thing preventing him from progressing the story to the point where Jack woke up was the virus. For half the year, he couldn't film anything that required a crew, let alone do so on location in America or wherever like he had with CHASE. Instead, he sits at the end of the bed as usual. Legs to his chest, he simply lets himself be here. Henrik is going to kill him for the way he is seated. He rambles at Jack, updating him on recent goings on. When he's said his bit, he becomes contemplative for a moment. "I'm still trying, I swear. You're going to wake up one day. I'm just- I'm doing my best to get everything sorted. I promise you can call my ass out eventually. I will get there. Anyway, I'm sure you have better things to be doing than listening to me mope about like I have been for the past three years. See you around, buddy."

#my writing #creator au #the creator #jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye egos #writersofjack #if anyone saw me despairing yesterday about this fic going on and on I want you to know this bitch is 8.2k words now #tw death mention #tw blood mention #tw kidnapping

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realist-tash · 6 years ago

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@bluearrow126 So, I may or may not have stalked your hcs for your birthday present, and found drunk Trini dancing on furniture. Anyways.... Happy Birthday for yesterday!!! Hope you enjoy it! (the crack is stong in this one-shot) - - - - The Rangers are no strangers to the occasional drink. By the campfire, mostly, but when Kim's parents are out of town, they tend to stray towards the large home. They usually say it's because they can pass out with plenty of room surrounding them. Realistically, it's so that Kim and Trini don't have to sneak off to some abandoned part of the cliffs and the boys don't have to hear the loud, echoing moans. Not that it's any better in the house after Kim leads the two to her room, but at least they can turn the music up to cover the awkward silence they find themselves in. They're used to it by now. Tommi? Tommi is not used to it. She's used to Jason being the leader, Billy being the rambler, Trini being the quiet one, Zack and Kim being the loud, reckless ones Okay, so Zack and Kim aren't much different. But Trini? Trini comes as the biggest shock. Maybe she's getting a little ahead of herself.

“The green coin has been going insane recently,” Zack remarks as he enters the ship. Billy nods next to him, “I've been monitoring the energy it has been generating since Rita was flung into space. Over the past couple of weeks the coin has been emanating strong waves of Zeo energy that-” “Uh, English for those of us that barely graduated, dude,” Zack laughs. “Right. The green coin has been reactivated.” Silence washes over the group, and Trini stumbles back, “does, does that mean- Rita- she-” Kim quickly steps in, holds Trini's cheek in her palms, “baby, no. Rita is a floating popsicle. Right, B?” Billy shifts under Kim's stern gaze, scratches the back of his neck, “well we never actually-” “Rita is long gone,” Jason assures, “but even if she has found a way to come back, we'll fight her. Together.” “So, what do we do?” Nobody moves to answer Trini, because they don't know how. How does Jason tell her everything will be okay after Rita caused her the most damage mentally? How does Billy tell her the coin being activated may not be a bad thing when Rita killed him? How does Zack tell her not to jump to conclusions when he's thinking the exact same thing? How does Kim tell her that she won't let anything happen to her when she wasn't there for her the first time? They can't. Instead, Kim steps more into Trini's space with the softest, most encouraging look she can muster and says, “we wait. We train, we prepare, and we wait.” Trini wrinkles her nose, “how can you be so bad at pep talks when you're a cheerleader?” Kim rolls her eyes, “ex-cheerleader.” “Not last night you weren't,” Trini smirks. “Ew, my ears! My poor, sensitive ears,” Zack shouts while Jason chuckles. “I didn't know you were back on the squad, Kimberly.” Kim's face flushes red as Trini's smirk widens, before she attempts to convince Billy that Trini was joking and she's not back on the team. It may have been at Kim's expense, but she relaxes when she sees the fear of Rita dim in Trini's eyes. If only a little.

As it turns out, they don't have to wait long to find out what's been going on. Trini and Kim are training when they feel it. Feel the vibrations of the ship, and one look is all it takes for them to know what is happening. They run to the deck and freeze. “Where is it?” “I don't know,” Kim whispers. She clicks her fingers in rapid succession, “hey, didn't Billy say we can link our coins, like a- a-” “Tracker? Yeah, but he's the only one that knows how to-” Kim shakes her head, “we'll figure it out. Or we can get Alpha to-” “We can't let Alpha know yet. He'll tell Zordon and-” “Zordon will be all Zordon about it. Okay, yeah, let's try this.” The two try to remember the directions Billy gave them in order to track the coins, but as they place theirs in their respective slot, they sag when nothing happens. “Ugh, this is stupid,” Trini groans, slams her hand on the console, “why can't things ever be simple?” Just as she asks the rhetorical question, her hand lights up and she looks down in shock to see it being scanned with a thin yellow line, shifts her gaze to see the scanner by Kim's coin glowing full pink. “Put your hand on that,” she gestures with her head and Kim pulls a face as she warily places her hand down. The scanner beeps once before it begins the same cycle as Trini's, and they both wince slightly as a pin pops out and pricks their fingertips. 'Connected, Yellow Ranger.' 'Connected, Pink Ranger.' “Alright, that's cool,” Kim grins, “it's like a video game.” Trini looks to the ceiling in exasperation, “what is it with you and Zack comparing the ship to a video game?” “Don't be mad that I'm better than you at a first shooter, baby.” “Can't beat my knife kills though.” Kim huffs, “knife kills are cheating and you know it.” “Whatever. So what do we do now?” Trini taps her fingers on the scanner. “Like, do we ask it or what?” Kim shrugs. “You're helpful. Okay scanner... thing... lead us to the green power coin.” A beam flies out from the console and the next thing they know they're stood at the edge of town, witness a motorbike on the ground and a still body metres away from it. “What the hell?” Kim rushes forward, Trini following closely behind until they reach the unmoving figure. The unmoving figure that has a green glow from their hand. “Trini...” “I can see it. Do you think,” Trini doesn't finish. Kim doesn't answer. They can't, because as quickly as they arrive, the body teleports into thin air. “Did, uh-” “Yep.” “Like we maybe-” Kim nods, “yep.” “After the train-” “Uh-huh.” Trini purses her lips, “right. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. So, there's a new Ranger in town. With Rita's coin. This... is not going to end well, is it?” Kim shrugs, “we should probably tell the boys.” Trini hums. “But can we take the bike for a spin first?” “I thought you'd never ask.”

Jason stands firm as he glares at them. “So instead of telling us, or trying to find this new person, you decided to ride around town on a motorbike?” “Pretty much,” Kim replies while Trini shrugs. He doesn't need to know that Trini needed the distraction from the green coin being back in action. “We need to go and find them. Do you guys not remember what is was like for us?” “Uh, yeah I do,” Zack says excitedly, “I jumped over a fucking house, dude. And then a cliff.” “Only to chase the pretty girl,” Kim chuckles. Zack gawks, “oh, like you didn't do the same? You literally ran past me to get to her first you bi mess.” “Don't forget Kimberly swerved awkwardly to follow Trini at the mines and lost a shoe.” “Thanks, B.” Kim pouts, “they were my favourite boots.” Jason huffs, “I think you're missing the point...” “How about when you tried talking to her when we first came inside the ship and she shut you down hard. Or when you ran after her out of the deck. Or straight after when you made some shit up about her just to pretend you didn't know who she was,” Zack giggles to himself, “good times.” “Guys focus!” Zack zips his lips and Kim sucks hers into her mouth while Trini shakes her head at their antics. Jason takes a deep, calm breath, “look, we were lucky we had each other, but this person isn't. We need to find them before they cause some serious damage. They're probably confused as hell and-” The doors to the ship's deck slide open and they all turn in shock. “Huh, so this is where the Power Rangers hang out.” The figure looks around the ship in wonder before she settles on the five of them. “I know... none of you. I'm Tommi. Tommi Oliver. Now would somebody like to tell me why the fuck I woke up with superpowers and wrecked half of my apartment?” “I don't think they're as confused as you think, boss.” Jason frowns, “yeah, thanks, Trini.”

“So I moved here about three weeks ago, just a girl and her bike, and the next thing I know I wake up with this... glowing green shit that won't leave me alone.” Trini sits slightly behind Kim, wary and judging, ready for Tommi to randomly turn into Rita, and Kim keeps one arm over Trini's body, makes it look like she's holding her knee just because, instead of making it seem like it's in protection. “We found you on the road near your bike,” Kim explains, “looks like you had a pretty serious accident.” Tommi raises a brow, “and you didn't, I don't know, think to call an ambulance?” “The coin teleported you away before we could even take your helmet off. I'm guessing to heal you like it did us.” “Where is my bike?” Kim blushes as Trini bites her lip to hide a chuckle, before Zack pipes up. “Trimberly took it for a joyride. It's in the Zord bay.” “Dude!” “You stole my bike? Wait, what the hell is a 'Trimberly'?” Zack gestures with his hands as if to say 'duh'. “Trini, Kimberly, Trimberly. Obviously.” After they- predominantly Billy- explain the situation to Tommi, she begins to settle, before they introduce her to Zordon and Alpha, but Trini is still a little on edge, and Tommi notices. “Have I done something to offend you?” Before Kim can come in to defend her, Trini squints her eyes, “the last person to hold the green power coin came into my room in the middle of the night and tried to choke me.” She shows Tommi the still remaining scars. “Then she killed Billy. So yeah, sorry if I'm not overly welcoming.” “You aren't overly welcoming anyway, babe,” Kim whispers before Trini smacks her in the ribs with her elbow. Tommi works her jaw, nods in understanding, “the chick with the big gold monster thing, right? It was all over the news when I was back in Alaska.” “So why did you move here?” “Honestly?” She looks directly at Trini. “I have no idea. I got on my bike and ended up here, can't explain why.” Billy butts in, “like we were drawn to the mines. The coin already knew, it was just waiting for you.” “Why me?” And that's the question, isn't it? The question they've all repeatedly asked themselves time and time again. In a shocking twist, it's Trini that answers, “because it sees something in you.”

Ah, and that brings them full circle. It's taken Tommi roughly two weeks to begin finding her place, and from what she's come to learn in those couple of weeks, Jason is the leader, Billy the rambler, Trini the quiet one, and Zack and Kim are the loud, reckless ones. But serious Rangers compared to drunk Rangers? Totally different ball game. The evening begins after they've defeated some idiotic monster that's once again after the crystal, and Kim dusts off her jeans- they hadn't even needed their armour for this one-, “the 'rents are away, my house?” “Yes,” Zack drags out, “ain't no party like a Kim Hart party 'cause a Kim Hart party got me.” Kim blinks. And stares. And stares some more. “Okay so Zack is officially uninvited. Anyone else?” “You wound me, Kimmy.” Of course they all agree. Well, Trini was never not going to end up at Kim's house when it's going to be empty. And they all look to Tommi for an answer. She shrugs, “I didn't realise we were there yet.” Zack slings his arm around Tommi's shoulders, “you're stuck with us now. No going back.” “You're not invited, Zack.” “Kimmy let me live!” Tommi laughs as she follows them all, Zack and Kim unrelenting in their banter until Trini huffs and spins to bring Kim into a solid kiss before she pulls back and smirks at a dazed Kim, “leave him alone.” “Okay, baby,” Kim mumbles instantly. Zack coughs, “whipped.” “At least I'm getting some.” Trini clears her throat and they both shut up as Tommi raises her brow, impressed, before she looks over to Jason and he lifts his shoulders, “sometimes it's easier to let Trini step in.” Billy nods, “Trini is the only person they both listen to.” “It's because I withhold bro time with Zack and sex time with Kim.” “She's like the unofficial big sister of the group,” Zack whispers. Kim scrunches her nose, “gross, dude.” “Well not for you,” Zack rolls his eyes. Tommi stares in awe at the Hart residence, “damn.” She doesn't see Kim smile sadly. Doesn't see Trini squeeze her hand. Because a huge house is nothing when it feels so lonely the majority of the time. Another reason Kim likes having them all over. Jason and Billy make their way to the kitchen once they're inside to collect the booze while Kim leads the others to the living room, claims her usual spot on the loveseat and pulls Trini on top of her while Zack slouches in one of the chairs, leg thrown over the armrest. Tommi stands awkwardly until Kim gestures around the room, “Billy and Jason usually take the couch, so you can have the other chair.” Tommi sits almost timidly, a complete contrast to the confidence she exudes in the field. “So... what happens at these things?” Trini lifts a brow as she slide so her back is against the arm and her legs drape over Kim's, Kim's hand automatically finding its place on her thigh while the other holds out to take a glass Jason offers her, Trini taking her own with a bland, “we get drunk.” “You're so eloquent,” Kim scoffs, “it's just something we sometimes to do wind down. Training can get get on top of us a little, and with work or college, it's nice to just chill for the night.” Jason settles down into the couch and throws his head back as he closes his eyes, “and it also helps us stay connected. Except for training, sometimes we all get too busy for each other, we need to keep our bond strong.” “You just get needy, loser,” Trini plays, “I'm more than happy not seeing any of you.” “Hey!” Trini kisses Kim's cheek, “you don't count.” “What about me?” “You neither, B.” She ignores Zack's protests. Billy grins into his next sip and Tommi sniffs her drink before she takes a large gulp, spits it out immediately and they all chuckle as she wipes her mouth. “Jesus, what is that?” Jason smirks sheepishly, “sorry, we should've warned you. It takes us a lot more to get drunk because of our ability to heal, so regular beer won't cut it. Billy made this. You get used to it.” “Gross,” Tommi says as she attempts another sip with a grimace. Zack nudges Tommi's shoulder, “so how are you finding being a Ranger so far?”

They've been talking for two hours before Zack brings a playlist up, connects it to the speakers in the room and Tommi observes the subtle changes in the group. Trini and Kim have long forgotten that there are other people in the room, whispering and giggling and touching. Lots of touching. Trini has taken to squirming in Kim's lap to the music as she sings softly down Kim's ear. Jason has sunk further into the couch, pure relaxation on his features. Zack is beginning to talk louder and louder as the booze hypes him up, and Billy is having his own little jiggle on his side of the couch. But it takes another hour for the alcohol to properly hit them, and Tommi's eyes widen as Trini bolts up at the new, faster beat that pounds through the speaker. “Yo! This is my jam!” Before Tommi can comprehend what's happening, Trini is up and dancing... well, if grinding into nothing but air can be considered dancing. Trini runs her hands through her hair as her hips sway and her knees bend before she's pointing at an entranced Kim, raps along- Trini can apparently rap, too- And shuffles into the middle of the room before she backflips, fucking backflips, onto the coffee table. She lowers herself until her ass is nearly touching the table before she works her way back up, uses the length of it to slide back and forth. Kim hollers as she sits on the edge of the loveseat, “yeah, baby! Work it.” Trini winks. “What... is... happening?” Zack chuckles at Tommi's question as he unlocks his phone and brings up the camera, presses record, “wait for it, it gets better.” Trini dances like there should be a pole for her to use, or like there's a body next to her, and seconds later Tommi sees waves of green before her. “Here we go again,” Jason remarks lazily, his eyes open in a slit and an amused lilt greets his lips. Dollar bills fly towards Trini's frame as Kim throws them in her direction and Trini crawls along the table to collect them, shoves them in the waistband of her sweats and into her bra when she stands back up. Zack wolf whistles next to Tommi and Trini spins to face him, bends and sings directly into the camera. “Watch this,” Zack mumbles as he skips the current song. Trini 'whoops', recognizes the tune instantly, and honestly it should be surprising to Tommi that Trini, heavy metal Trini, loves rap so much, but it's probably the least surprising thing that's happened so far. The Spanish filtering through the speakers is drown out by Trini. Tommi can't understand the words, but from Kim's darkening expression, she has an inkling. Trini faces Kim again, smirk firmly in place as her tongue rolls over the lyrics, hands out in front of her and beckoning Kim to join her. Kim stands, hypnotised, as Trini leans forward and pulls one of the bills out of Kim's hand with her teeth. This... this is not the Trini that Tommi has come to kind of know. “I don't know if I'm terrified or turned on.” “What?!” Oops. She said that out loud. Kim turns on her, but before anything more can happen, Trini grabs Kim's jaw to bring the focus back on her, her hips add an extra sway and Tommi hears Jason idly counting down from five. He reaches one just as Kim gives in and grabs at Trini's thighs, lift her to secure them around her hips as Trini squeals Kim's name and Kim glares at Tommi once more as she carries Trini away from the room. Tommi lets out a light breath, “well, mark me down as scared and horny.” Zack turns the camera off and licks his lips, “you know, if you want any help with that...” She pushes him away with a snort, “not in your wildest dreams, Taylor.” “Your loss,” he shrugs. He turns up the volume to an almost unbearable level and Tommi frowns. “Trust me, you're not going to want to hear what comes next.” He pauses. Waits. Laughs. “That would be Trini,” Billy adds with a slur, high-fives Zack while Jason simply shakes his head. Tommi can't help but join in. What the hell has she gotten herself into?

#trimberly #fanfic #my fic #birthday present #power rangers 2017 #kimberly hart #trini #jason scott #billy cranston #zack taylor #tommi oliver

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macdensuburbia · 5 years ago

Text

Come On, Baby, Calm Me Down

Dennis wasn’t really sure when everything started to feel like nothing, when the hole inside him got too big to control and it started to swallow him whole. It sucked up everything he found joy in or felt like anything at all. At some point between the beginning of time and right now everything turned to grayscale.

The last time he’d left his apartment (probably three days ago by now, or maybe two? Wait what day is it?), he’d been at the bar a few hours before the usual evening crowds came in. Mac was sitting across the bar, swiping through some app on his phone, mindlessly rambling on about something he did the other day with Charlie, something about how he ran into someone from high school in a cafe and life hadn’t been kind to him. Dennis wasn’t listening. Mac waved his hands in front of his face, repeating Dennis’s name.

“Huh?” He looks up from the lemon he was slicing.

“I asked you if could hand me a beer.” The bunch they’d brought up earlier, not wanting to make too many trips back and forth, was beginning to really take a hit.

“Get yourself a beer.” Dennis looks up from the lemon he was cutting but not stopping slicing it.

“You’re the one behind the bar!” Mac exclaims, gesturing furiously to where Dennis was standing.

“Whatever, you can do it yourself.” They stare at each other in the world’s lamest game of chicken ever, waiting to see who would crack and get Mac a beer first (not Dennis, he could do this all day). The only sound being the soft clatter of Dennis’s paring knife against the cutting board.

Mac groans eventually but leans over the bar to grab one, anyways.

“Dennis!” He yelled, grabbing onto one of Dennis’s wrists, tearing it away from his current task. “Holy shit, dude!”

Dennis looks at the hand Mac had pulled in between them, he could feel it distantly but he had to see it with his own eyes to realize it was real.

“You’re fucking bleeding!”

Yeah, I know, he thought, but didn’t say anything, he just stood there watching blood ease out of the gash in his palm. His eyes started to lose focus, a blur of skin and crimson. Somewhere deep down he knew he should move, do something about it, but he just felt so tired… Mac sprung into action quickly, maybe he knew Dennis would stand there watching the blood flow down his arm until it was dripping on the floor.

Appearing suddenly behind the bar, Mac holds up a clean white tea towel, reaching for Dennis’s injured hand. Wrapping his fingers timidly around Dennis’s wrist, he presses the tea towel to the gash. He was gentle, occasionally looking up to Dennis’s face to check his reaction, making sure it didn’t sting too badly, though applying solid pressure to try to stop the bleeding.

He should react, probably, it did hurt a lot. The searing pain turned more to a throb when Mac applied more pressure to the tea towel. He should react, that’s the normal thing to do. People react when they’re in pain.

“Son of a bitch, that hurt,” he mumbled, but it didn’t really sound sincere. He lifted away the tea towel to check the bleeding, it didn’t seem to slow at all. It was probably a bad call, the sight of blood always made him feel a little woozy.

“Dude, I think you might need to go to the hospital.” He sounded genuinely concerned for Dennis’s well-being. It made him feel sick. Where Mac had been touching him suddenly felt like it was on fire, he yanked his arm away with force.

“I don’t need to go to the hospital! IーIーit’s fine!” Dennis yelled. He turned away, making his way to the door. “I’m going home,” he ads softly, it was such a habit to tell Mac where he was going, not wanting him to assume he had died or been kidnapped. He wanted to storm off, but didn’t have the energy to really try and it probably came across more like sulking.

It was easier to leave than to try to feel the pain like normal. He could have faked it, hell, he was good at that, but the thought of feeling something that deeply sounded just too exhausting. So he left, and hadn’t left his apartment since.

The past few days felt like a blur, maybe just nothing worth remembering had happened. He’d barely gotten out of bed, a cycle of sleeping, waking, and eating very occasionally. For the first day or so Mac had left him alone, probably assuming he had just had a weird day and needed some time to himself. It was probably for the best, if Mac had even looked at him when he still had energy he would have exploded. The second day he had come to check in a few times, not always saying anything, just cracking open Dennis’s bedroom door and making sure he was still there and still breathing. It was irritating, honestly, he felt like he was being babysat, but it was more offensive when Mac had left to work for a few hours and no one was there to make sure he was okay.

On the third day, Mac just didn’t go to work at all. Around seven Mac opened the door just enough to stand half in half out, seeming unsure of himself. “Den?” His voice is soft, like he’s trying to be too gentle. “I think you gotta get up now.”

Dennis didn’t reply.

“It’s been days, man, and I get it, I do, but you need to, like, shower and eat something.” He maneuvers himself over to the side Dennis is facing, sitting down on the edge of the bed and looking like he’s waiting for his reply. When he doesn’t get one, Mac continues. “Look, dude, I know showering or whatever isn’t going to fix everything but it can’t hurt.”

“Fine,” Dennis mumbles into his duvet.

“What?”

“I said fine! I’ll do it if it’ll get you to leave me the fuck alone.” Mac looks relieved, putting out a hand to help Dennis up, which he promptly ignores. “Just give me a minute.”

“Sure thing, buddy,” Mac says. “I’ll go turn on the shower.

Dennis’s brain circles through responses, he wanted to say that he can do that himself but forced it down, knowing it would be easier not to argue and probably for the best, he couldn’t afford to waste what little energy he had.

Mac disappears into the bathroom, shortly before Dennis hears the steady sound of the shower. All Dennis does in that time is sit up.

“Alright, come on, time to get up,”

“Fuck off,” Dennis mumbles, not bothering to look up from his crossed legs under the comforter.

Mac tears back the blankets.

“What the fuck, man!”

“I’m gonna wash the sheets, you gotta get out.”

“Fine,” Dennis groans. “But I’m getting into yours then.”

Mac nods and holds out his hand. Dennis looks at it, then to Mac, then back to his outreached hand. His fingers are long, with a thick wrist connect strong hands to tendinous forearms, cut off by sleeves pushed up to his elbows, Dennis guesses it must have been cold today if it encouraged Mac to wear something with sleeves. They look safe, like Mac’s arms could be the answer to save him from whatever had been corroding him inside out. Dennis grabs onto him, Mac smiles, giving his unsteady hand a reassuring squeeze and smiles at him.

Dennis doesn’t move after that, pulling Mac down towards him as he falls back to lay down again, maybe if he just disappears again so will everything else around.

“No, hey, come on!” Mac protests, falling forward and using his free arm to brace himself against the mattress. Dennis watches his bicep flex from supporting himself. He doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to think about how fucking jacked Mac had gotten when Dennis had been away. “I’m stripping the bed you have to get out.” He starts pulling up the corners of the white sheets.

“God, Jesus, fuck, fine!” Dennis groans, his voice still hoarse from its limited use over the last few days. Dennis stands slowly, uneasy on his feet. Mac heards him towards the running shower, standing beside it once they reach the bathroom. “I can do this all myself,” Dennis says, reaching for the hem of his shirt. It smelled not too great, Dennis didn’t want to think about how long it had been since he’d changed last.

“I know.”

Dennis eyes him, trying to find his angle there. “You’re a dick.”

“Whatever,” Mac dismisses, ducking out of the ajar bathroom door. Mac doesn’t close it when he leaves, and neither does Dennis.

He slides out of his ratty old boxer shorts and melted into the warm embrace of the shower. It felt like rebirth, almost, he didn’t feel better really, he felt different. Like nothing existed outside of the few cubic feet of the shower, his own personal chrysalis. Grime shed off his body in waves, and he washed the days old grease out of his hair. He stood in the running water until it started going cold, forcing him to turn it off, reaching blindly beyond the curtain for a towel. The soft, plush, feeling against his face is nice, and wrapped it around his body before he got too cold. Mac held to his word, there weren’t any sheets on his bed anymore, great. Mac does laundry for one goddamn time in his life without having to be told to once he starts wearing shirts that had been buried in the back of his closet since 1995 and it’s right fucking now. Whatever, fuck him, Dennis will just lie in his bed until he kicks him out (but something makes him think he wouldn’t do that).

He pulls a pair of grey sweatpants over his hips and begins toweling at his hair, walking into the living room with water droplets still rolling down his chest. Mac looks up from his phone, stilling for a second, Dennis would have missed it if he hadn’t already been looking at him. Macs eyes graze up his body, landing on his face, he clears his throat and looks away. “Iーuhーfeeling better?” He stammers out.

“Sure, whatever,” Dennis answers in a monotone. Making a beeline for the door parallel to his, not having the energy for whatever conversation Mac would feel like having if he gave him the time.

Mac’s room is a bit more cluttered, and darker. The bulb in the hospital bright overhead light had burned out a month or so ago, and neither of them bothered changing it. The only light was a desk lamp on the IKEA bedside table, and a floor lamp on the other side that Dennis doesn’t feel like turning on. The desk lamp is nice, though, the soft glow of the bulb is better than the hauntingly empty dark he had been in before. He throws the damp towel onto a desk chair in the corner and falls into Mac’s bed, it wasn’t particularly comfortable but the exhaustion of trying to be alive for the last hour or so just about killed him, so much that he isn’t even bothered by the dildo bike in the corner. Every ounce of energy he’d ever had had been sucked from his body by some black hole inside him, but he could sleep, he wasn’t tired in that way, he was just exhausted.

A quiet “Hey” comes from somewhere near the doorway, Dennis is on his side facing away from the entrance and doesn’t bother looking towards the source of the noise. “Feeling better?” Mac inquires, making his way around the bed to the empty side.

Dennis stares at him, his weight makes the mattress sink when he goes to lay down, a mirror reflection of Dennis and staring at him intently. Dennis doesn’t answer, hoping maybe Mac would move on and go do something else, maybe hit up one of the gay bars he seems to be in every other night. But Mac doesn’t say anything, he just… waits.

“It’s not,” Dennis sighs, trying to figure out a way to make all the thoughts desperate to explode out of him make him. “It’s just not like that.” His voice is quiet, unsure.

Mac doesn’t say anything, for once in his goddamn life he shuts the fuck up. Too bad it just happens to be when Dennis wants to sink inside himself and want to say nothing at all.

Dennis turns away, looking at him is hard, looking at the ceiling is easier. “I justーI don’t know, dude.”

“That’s,” Mac starts. “That’s okay.” His voice is slow and careful, like Dennis is a china doll he’s scared of breaking. He pauses, tentatively placing a hand on his bicep, drawing closer. It’s comforting, the feeling of another person is comforting.

Dennis wants so fucking badly to shut up, to never speak again and let the moment between them end instantly and continue forever, he was wrestled with the decision. No, more than wrestled, he got into a full bench clearing brawl. He wanted to run as far as he could, further than North Dakota (maybe he’d try the west coast this time, San Francisco sounds nice…), but he could feel Mac’s stare drilling into the side of his face. Surely he could find somewhere else to be, maybe force himself to go to some club and pick up some faceless chick (or dude, sometimes he liked to mix it up, to keep everything interesting) and beng them just so he had an excuse to spend the night far from here.

He wanted to run out of Mac’s room and never come back, but another part of him, buried deep down, wanted the exact opposite, he wanted to turn to Mac and have him hold him closer than he’d ever been held before. He felt sick, he was confused, and he was angry about it.

Dennis wished he could stop talking. “Sometimes it’s just like, I’m not a full person. I’m just the outside part.” He takes a deep breath and turns to face Mac, pulling himself from his grip. “Sometimes I’m so fucking empty.” It feels like the moment in the shitty indie movie where tears would dramatically well in their eyes until someone breaks first and there’s an overly dramatic close up on their face, the soundtrack swells and they spend the night lying in each others arms. Not even touching on how ridiculous and dumb that is, there’s no way Dennis could cry even if he tried, any sliver of emotion he tried to get a hold on seemed to just slip right through his fingers and disappear into the void.

Mac doesn’t say anything, like he wants Dennis to continue. Placing a hand on Dennis’s shoulder, rubbing his thumb gently. Dennis leans into the touch, he wants so bad for Mac to just lie there and hold him. It was so fucking lame, and he hated himself for it, but he didn’t think he had ever needed another person like he did in this second.

“So, no, asshole, a shower and some clean sheets aren’t going to fix all my fucking problems.” It was rude, but Mac doesn’t even flinch. He holds onto him tighter and Dennis relishes in the feeling, not like he’d ever tell a single fucking soul that. “But,” he sighs, despite his better judgement. “Thanks, anyways, man.” The sincerity of it felt sickeningly sweet, like he was going to throw up.

“You know what always cheers me up, bro?” Mac reaches up towards the bible on the headboard, thinking he can cure whatever ails Dennis with passages from The Good Book.

“Stop it, stop right there. If you start quoting the bible at me I’m going to kill, I will literally fucking kill you.” He wanted to say it with some kind of venom but it all falls flat.

“Alright, no problem, whatever you want,” he says, leaving the bible where it lay. Dennis vaguely remembers Charlie once telling him how sticky Mac’s bible was, and he didn’t even want to think about what that might mean.

“I just,” He pauses, deciding if this is really where he wanted to go with this. “I needーor wantーyou to,” he says, pausing, frustrated.

“Just say it, man,” Mac says as he leaned impossibly closer, sounding like he was trying to be a fucking cliché, like he knew where Dennis was going and just needed an invitation.

“Justー,” he cuts himself off, placing a firm hand on Mac’s jaw, pulling him in for a nose breakingly hard kiss. Their lips meet somewhere in the middle like a high speed car crash no one could survive. Mac’s caught by surprise, which Dennis didn’t expect, with how Mac had acted for the last twenty-five fucking years he figured he’d just been expecting Dennis to throw himself at him every second of the day. No matter what Dennis had said, he seemed to never have completely lost hope that this would happen again, even though it had been like eight years since they got too drunk and spent an hour making out and feeling each other up then vehemently pretending nothing happened the next day. Maybe Mac just didn’t get it, he’d spent so many years repressed that he deluded himself into thinking that everyone hides all their feelings deep down like that, or something, but most people don’t. Maybe if Mac were anymore well adjusted (like Dennis) he’d have figured out he was gay earlier on, but he was too far in denial to read the writing on the wall like everyone else around him, even if it was written in his own handwriting. Dennis was pretty sure he wasn’t gay, but it’s a spectrum, or whatever, and he’s definitely somewhere in the middle, and he didn’t really care too much. Sometimes he just needed somebody, and that somebody was Mac way more often than he’d ever care to admit.

Dennis pulls back, suddenly feeling way too vulnerable and unsure. He stared straight ahead, waiting for Mac to respond, Dennis’s hand still on his face mindlessly thumbing at his cheek bone. “Is this okay?” Dennis whispers, needing some sort validation now more than he ever has in his life.

Dennis thinks he hears Mac say something like a “yes”, before wrapping his arm around the Dennis’s waist and pulling him closer. Kissing him hard, like both his and Dennis’s life depended on it. And he doesn’t feel okay, a shower and a kiss aren’t going to fix all his problems, but it’s enough to make it feel better for right now, and maybe until things can be fixed for real, that’s enough. Everything still felt like a grayscale, but maybe things were a little more brightly lit and well defined than they’d been earlier.

Dennis can’t help but think that he was right, that he does feel safer in Mac’s arms.

read on AO3

#back on my bullshit #my writing #s14 #iasip #macdennis #dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald

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ink-flavored · 6 years ago

Text

11/11/11 Tag Game (Triple Threat)

I was tagged by @bookenders @timetravelingpigeon and @oradall! Thank you!

Questions

What animal would be your familiar?

You can bring any one extinct species back, with the guarantee that it won’t become extinct again. Which animal do you bring back?

Top three favorite animals?

What’s your favorite road trip snack?

What’s one place you never want to visit?

If you had to live in the world of (one of) your WIP(s), how screwed would you be?

What’s the worst name for a character you’ve ever had?

What’s something your 8-year-old self would love about you?

What’s the stupidest thing your OC(s) has ever done?

How important is family to your OC(s)? To you?

What’s the song you want playing in the background every time you walk into a room?

Tagging: @rainy-rose @rrrawrf-writes @aslanwrites @tenacious-scripturient @waterfallwritings @quilloftheclouds @blueinkblot @lilquill @kobalt-ink and anyone else who feels like it!

My 33 answers below!

1. What baseball positions would your OCs be in if they all had to be on a baseball team? What’s the team name? What’s their mascot? What do the uniforms look like? (If you hate baseball or prefer a different sport, substitute said sport for baseball.)

Well, considering Park is literally on a baseball team, I think I’ll answer this one for him. He’s a pitcher for the North Carolina Sabretooth Cats, and if you can’t tell their mascot from that, then I don’t know what to tell you. Their uniform colors are white, gold, and black.

2. How good are your OCs at bowling? How good are you at bowling?

I, personally, suck at bowling. I’ve never been good at it, but I still have fun!

Before Hayden was on crutches, he was the bowling master. It’s harder for him to bowl now that he can’t really balance by himself, or hold a ball at the same time as he holds his crutches.

Park is also really great at bowling, something that Jamie (bad at bowling) will never forgive him for.

If bowling existed for Teconia, she would try her best, but not succeed. Xinya would be almost good. The occasional strike. Yu-Qi would attempt to chuck the bowling ball like a softball because it Made Her Lose.

3. Rewrite this in your style: “I picked up the book and read the back. He took it from me before I could protest. He never lets me have the cool stuff.

I took the book of the shelf and flipped it over to read the back, but I couldn’t get a single word in before he snatched it out of my hands. I pouted – he never lets me have the cool stuff.

4. What do you love about the last book you read?

The last book I read is called Policing the Black Man, a collection of essays edited by Angela J. Davis. I’m telling you this because you should read it. It’s not an easy read, and I’ve had to take several breaks from it because it’s very heavy, but it’s an eye-opening look at how race and law enforcement interact in America. It reinforced a lot of the things I already knew (the police are an institution founded on racism), but it’s teaching me so much more about why that is, and how we can fix it in the future. Highly recommended – especially if you’re white.

5. What are three things you love about your writing?

I really love my descriptions, character interactions, and settings.

6. What’s a word you love the sound of? What’s a word you really don’t like the sound of?

I have an entire list of words that I love, but I’ll pick my top three: Vivaciousness, Gossamer, and Facetious.

My least favorite word is flesh. I hate that word so much.

7. How do you like to begin your stories?

It depends on the story. Usually I like to jump into the action, to give the reader something to latch onto as soon as possible, and to get them to form questions at the same time.

8. What other forms of writing have you tried other than the one you’re working with now? (i.e. playwriting, screenwriting, poetry, interactive, novels, short fiction. etc.) How do you feel about them?

I’ve been writing a game! It’s been a super huge blast, and even though I know neither jack nor shit about coding, the program I’m using makes it very easy to write games without any coding. Use Twine! It’s the best!

Once I graduate (in June!!), I want to finish the game and upload it somewhere so I can get people playing it. Stay tuned for that!

9. What’s your favorite play/musical? Why? What’s your favorite part?

OH NO, I HAVE TO PICK ONE? Okay fine, it’s Chicago. I absolutely adore that musical, mostly because I love jazz. But also because the dark humor, satire, and well-rounded and unique women are top notch. I had the privilege of seeing it on Broadway in 2017, and I cannot recommend it enough.

10. What kind of stories do you like to read? How different are they from what you write?

Honestly, not much different at all. I read a lot of fantasy, sci-fi, and poetry – I write a lot of fantasy, sci-fi, and poetry. The only thing I write, but don’t read, is suspense/horror-ish stuff. Which sounds weird, but I listen to Welcome to Night Vale, which is about as much horror as I can handle.

11. What’s your favorite bit of worldbuilding from a story someone else wrote?

I’m a huge Tolkien nerd, and the whole concept of two trees that give light to the whole world is the best idea.

12. If you had to change the genre of your WIP, what would you change it to?

Oh man, this is a tough one. I think the easiest one would be changing Firesoul from fantasy to steampunk-fantasy, a la Perdido Street Station by China Miéville, but I’m not sure if that counts. The idea of an urban fantasy God-Dragon’s Wife is interesting, too.

13. What’s your favorite writing POV? First person? Third person limited? One or multiple POV’s?

I prefer Third Person Omniscient or Third Person Limited, but I will (very rarely) write in First Person, and even a little Second Person.

14. Have you thought of a title for your WIP? How did you pick it?

All my WIPs have titles, but the one that was hardest was Out of the Park, because it’s way too cliché and I only picked it because I needed something to call the project.

15. How easy is it for you to come up with outfits for your OCs?

Depends on the character. Xinya is the hardest, because all of her outfits have to be super elaborate and have to fit in with her culture, but Hayden? Jeans and a t-shirt. Easy.

16. Who is the oldest OC in your WIP? (Either in-universe or when you made them.)

In-universe, Xinya is the oldest human at thirty-three. Yu-Qi easily surpasses that by like ten thousand years, but she’s an eternal dragon deity, so.

In real life, Teconia is the oldest. Believe it or not, I made her for my first D&D campaign, and then decided I liked her so much I would make a whole story about her.

17. Have you ever written fanfiction (even if it wasn’t posted online?)

Yes! I write a lot of fan fiction, and though most of it hasn’t left my flash drive, I have an AO3 account, with a couple of works-in-progress. Come say hello!

18. What are your OC’s favorite colors? (List as many or as few as you want)

Teconia: bright orange, green, red

Xinya: dark blue, silver, light pink

Hayden: purple, yellow, lime green

Park: grass green, rusty red-brown, gold

19. What is the most significant/important/often-appearing object in your WIP? Or, what is one object that one of your OCs cherishes?

D…dragons. In almost all of them, it’s dragons. Can you tell that I like dragons?

20. What’s that one word that you can never seem to spell correctly?

This isn’t really a spelling thing, but I will never ever remember the difference between affect and effect. I’ve had it explained to me countless times, but I will never get it. I’ll be confused for the rest of my life.

21. Which arc do you like better/think is more interesting: a hero who starts slowly slipping into evil, or a villain who decides to try to be good?

I think both have their perks, but the villain that tries to do good has a special place in my heart because it shows that people can change, which is a dose of positivity that I think we all need right now.

22. Do you have any minor characters that are trying very, very hard to become one of the mains?

You know, I thought Yu-Qi would be happy staying the love interest. But now she wants to be a co-protagonist with Xinya. That’s what I get for making her literally a god.

23. Weirdest thing you’ve been inspired by?

I read a fan fiction once, and I thought, “Psh. I could write that better.”

And now I have The God-Dragon’s Wife.

24. Which character is closest to a self-insert?

In a way, all of my characters have some aspect of me in them, or some kind of trait I wish I had. Teconia has my kindness – the kindness that’s probably too nice. Park has the confidence I wish I had a lot of the time, but also the fear that I’ll never be good enough. I gave Hayden my anxiety (sorry), but also the determination to push through it that I need. Xinya is pleasant in polite company, but behind closed doors she’s a very angry character, which is something that I’ve been dealing with lately.

I guess I just don’t like the term “self-insert,” because all of my characters are me as much as they’re their own characters. They can be both.

25. Favorite season?

I’m assuming you mean my favorite season. It’s summer.

26. Do you eat appetizers when you go out to eat?

Short answer: Yes

Long answer: If they serve mozzarella sticks, you bet your ass I will eat every single one of those fuckers unless someone holds me back. Also, if you try and separate me from gyoza, you will have your arms separated from your body.

27. What is something you’re scared to write about?

Romance. I don’t know why, but I always feel like it comes off very stiff and impersonal when I write it, so I’ve been avoiding it for a long time.

28. Favorite fantasy book series? (I need recommendations ;))

The. Inheritance. Cycle. Ho-lee shit, I have been talking about this series since I was in first grade, and I will never shut up. The first book is Eragon by Christopher Paolini. If you read it (or if anyone reading this has read it before) feel free to drop in and scream at me. I’m always ready.

29. The most you’ve ever written at one time?

I don’t remember, actually! I think it might have been… when I wrote 8k words in a day?

30. When do you like to write?

Whenever I can, but mostly at night. Which is not doing my sleeping schedule any favors, I’ll tell you that.

31. Why is coming up with questions the most difficult part?

Good question. I have no idea.

32. Which character would cry over a marvel movie?

Teconia, for sure.

33. First character you created. Why?

My first character was a girl who had the werewolf-esque ability to turn into a dragon. She was pretty much my ideal self.

#annika talks #ask game #wow this is long #33 is a bigger number that i thought

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nega-aria · 6 years ago

Note

For the Fanfiction Writer Asks: 20-25 and 35-41 😊

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Nope, believe me if I did I would have edited them already. I have an editing obsession XD Writing endings is always something I put a lot of thought and heart into because it’s the last thing you leave people with so I like it to have that special impact. Plus, I just love the parts of the story when I have a good excuse to be dramatic lol.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Um, definitely you @rebellingstagnationblog! I hate to say I haven’t had a chance to read as much of your stuff as I should, but your prose is beautiful and has such depth, and it is definitely something to be admired ♥ It really sucks me in and that’s the best part of any story. @aj-the-bluejay definitely deserves kudos too for tackling those slice of life type stories that just put such a smile on my face and of course an extra special shout out for always being so supportive of other writers because that’s just awesome ♥

There are definitely other people that I’m sure deserve props, but I am pathetically behind on stories that I want to read, so for those of you out there cranking out these stories purely out of love, keep doing what you’re doing because the fandom adores you for it!

Special shout out to @volcanicfires and @justbirdfurrythings for being my partners in crime on a couple stories. I freaking love you guys ♥

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Ooooh yeah, lol. Basically everything from when I first started writing makes me cringe. Part of me wants to go back and fix those older stories so bad, but part of me wants to preserve them as part of my past so I do my best to just let them be as they are.

One of these days Screw the Bassist is gonna get a proper mass edit though, because that poor thing is stuck between old story and not so old story so it has gone through some serious growing pains over the years.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Uh, neither I guess? I am not a person who likes complete silence very much so I usually have some sort of background noise going on but it’s generally some show or movie that I’ve seen a million times or otherwise don’t care about paying attention to. I do occasionally write in silence though, and I very much prefer that to trying to write with music going on.

(don’t ask me why listening to Gordon Ramsey swear and smash fish is better than music, because I don’t have an answer for that)

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Fucking fantastic XD

Honestly, I have a hard time writing fully G rated stuff which I’m sure limits my audience, but showing that intimacy and the emotions that go into is one of the things that makes me the most happy when I’m writing. I mean, someone has to provide for the fandom so it might as well be me. Quite frankly, I’m proud to give that to the people out there that I know want it (and you know damn well there’s people that don’t admit they want it) because I think it’s important for people to see beyond the dangly parts and appreciate sex for the loving, bonding experience it should be.

Embrace the sex people! It’s a beautiful thing.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

No, but I got pretty emotional when I ended Screw the Bassist because that was seriously like watching my 6 year old child finally grow up, and I have gotten a little teary eyed discussing a certain story with a certain someone who knows who they are ♥

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I refer back to that certain someone who knows who they are because yes, they know literally everything about all my stories. I have a hard time completely keeping my ideas to myself, but some things will never see the light of day. Because reasons.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

You bet! Have some Gravesbeaks kidnapping AU because the world needs more dramatic angst.

Falcon’s brow furrowed and the angry scowl on his face wasslowly pulled into a more concerned frown as he scrolled through what felt likehundreds of text messages that grew increasingly worrisome the further hedelved into them. Mark had never taken the game this far. Sure, Falcon hadalways responded before he could really drag things out so much, but still,those messages were disconcerting in the worst possible way, and it had himseriously wondering if he had just made a very grave mistake. They came fromdifferent backup phones, and Falcon could tell. It was as if Mark was cyclingthrough them until he hit the last which sent only one message.

Falcon swallowed nervously as he put the phone to his ear tocheck the one and only voicemail that Mark had bothered to leave, refusing toacknowledge his own nervous shaking as he listened intently. What he heard hadhis heart racing. If this really was a prank, it was a wildly elaborate one.There were no real words only painful cries, a furious slew of muffled threats,and something that was far too similar to the sound of breaking bones forFalcon’s liking. The message ended abruptly with the only word that Falcon wasactually able to pull from the murmured mess of voices: dead. As in “you’regonna be” or “you’ll wish you were” and neither of those possibilities wereparticularly appealing to Falcon.

One more time Falcon tried to convince himself that this wasjust a prank. Once again he was repeating to himself that this was just a game,but the longer he sat there stunned and clenching his phone in shaking fingers,the less it sounded like a joke. If it was, it definitely wasn’t funny.

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

Roleplay. No contest. Drake seriously needs to write cringy romance novels. You know he’d rock that shit. (that link is nsfw btw so be warned)

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

@justbirdfurrythings and she knows why ♥

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

Third person all the way. I have written in first person but not in a long time and never for fanfiction.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

Yes, my brother (because he’s nosy) and my fiance both know I write fanfiction. No one else irl is aware of it.

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?

Oh boy, toss up between NegaLP and Falcon Graves, but I guess I have to go NegaLP because I just adore writing dialog for that immature jerkbag. And when he’s around that means Negaduck is showing some delightfully deep emotions and that’s just icing on the cake.

… but then again my Gravesbeaks stories are super special to me so writing Falcon is very close to my heart… we’ll call this a tie. I love my semi jerky beefcakes.

#aria answers #ask meme #get to know me #writing meme #fanfiction #my stories #rebellingstagnationblog #long post #dwd #ducktales

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dramallamadingdang · 7 years ago

Text

Replies!

These go back a bit, because...yeah. *sheepish smile*

For @elfpuddle, @nimitwinklesims, @penig, @acquiresimoleons, @pixelated-world, @holleyberry, @timeparadoxsims, @pensblr, @an-elegant-simblr, @yarerakai, @celebkiriedhel, @mrningbrd, @princess-arystyl21, and @sim-boo. Whew! :)

elfpuddle replied to your photoset “By request, here is the “invisible” roads default I made to match my...”

In theory, then, a person could replace the road textures for each terrain with the default textures and have no roads anywhere? Does modding out signs and traffic happen only in lush hoods, or would that need to be repeated as well?

Modding out traffic is a global thing. If you put in that mod I linked to, you’ll have no neighborhood traffic in any of your neighborhoods, so long as the mod is in your downloads. You have to manually remove the intersection stop signs, though. (They’re just neighborhood deco, perfectly OK to remove as you would any other piece of deco.) But yes, you can have a road default for each type of terrain in the game and you can have multiple different ones that you can switch in and out, although you can only have one road default for each terrain type in your game at a time. So, if you use Maxis terrains, you’d just need four road defaults (one for each terrain type) with the road “pieces” painted to match the terrain.

I tried to make a road default that just consisted of all empty, transparent textures, the goal being to make it “universal,” with the roads being invisible on any terrain, but it didn’t look right. So, it is what it is, but, yes, you could take that default and replace the images with ones from any terrain you use in your game to make it match those terrains. Then you can switch your road defaults in and out as needed for different neighborhoods. That’s the nice thing about defaults. :)

elfpuddle replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

ICad is not a bad blogger; she needs to take care of herself first and foremost.

Yeah, I know. It just sucks being sort of chronically not-well. I want to do stuff, and the body doesn’t always cooperate. It’d almost be easier if it was always uncooperative, because then I’d get used to it and be resigned to it and learn to live with it, but it isn’t always like that. More often (at least for now) I have energy to spare and feel perfectly healthy, but sometimes I don’t, and I can’t figure out any rhyme or reason to it. If there was a pattern or a cycle to it, like a menstrual cycle sort of thing or if it was related to eating something or not eating something, then I could know what to expect and when. But there isn’t. It’s very frustrating.

Cherish your liver, people! Baby that sucker!

nimitwinklesims replied to your photo “Ahahahah! A non-ocean (as in no-waves) beach lot! This is something...”

Yay, very cool! As I just built the fisher's shack on a beach lot on a river, I'm just going to pretend the surf comes from the nearby sea... Even though they're on the mouth of the river... Yeah, well. xD But now I know about this trick for next time! \0/

It is a pretty neat thing. And I discovered it completely by accident, too! I just wanted an off-road beach lot, so I did the moving around. I figured that “Beach Lot” option in the Lot Adjuster would turn it into a beach lot, but I figured it’d generate surf, too. But it didn’t, and I was like, “Hey, cool.” But then a test Sim couldn’t swim, and I was like “Bummer!” But then I remembered the beach portals, which I’d used once before, many years ago, on a non-beach lot that edged neighborhood water, and I’m pretty sure that when I used them there, surf was generated. So, I figured the portals would generate surf on this lot, too. But they didn’t, and I was like, “YEEEESSSSSSSS!” *fist pump* Yay, serendipity! :)

penig replied to your photo “And there’s Amelia Shankel, granddaughter of Goopy GilsCarbo and Sandy...”

Maybe the cook used to know her parents and thinks she looks familiar?

Maybe! I mean, it’s the same cook in every dorm, I think, so she would have known Amelia’s parents. And she’ll probably know Amelia’s great-great-great-great-etc.-grandchildren, too. Immortal undead dorm cooks, yay! Maybe that’s how the manage to work 20 hours a day every day without, you know, dying. :)

acquiresimoleons replied to your photo “Aaron GilsCarbo, grandson of Goopy GilsCarbo and Sandy Bruty, all...”

He's fine!

Yeah, he’s definitely the neighborhood’s hottie! :) Too bad he’s gay, ‘cuz those genes really oughtta be passed around. But, perhaps he’ll get himself abducted by aliens at some point. Of course, then his genes will be eaten by the alien’s, but...

pixelated-world replied to your photoset “Sage had opening-of-the household wants to hire a maid and to…buy a...”

"the little mustache makes him look stereotypically French" -> me : (^・ω・^ ) I just laughed so much at this mustache...

I know! I saw that little mustache and my brain just went off and imagined him doing all those silly stereotypical French things, like running around exclaiming, “Zut alors!” every other second. Or saying things like, “But I am le tired!” It’s all the mustache’s fault!

penig replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

Why do you feel guilty about this? We don't want to be a chore!

It’s not guilt so much as regret. I enjoy seeing and commenting on people’s pics and posts. Makes me feel connected to the world, I guess, and when I can’t do it for whatever reason, I just feel regret. Sadness. That sort of thing.

holleyberry replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. No worries about the Dash. Everyone has RL things that happen.

Yeah, I know. It’s just frustrating. I’ve just been really tired, not really sick, per se, but just really, really lethargic, sleeping most of the day if I don’t deliberately keep myself awake. Stupid metabolic issues. I’d sit down at the computer with grand plans to do stuff...and then I find myself nodding off and occasionally literally headdesking. *sigh* It’s been better today, though. And at least I didn’t miss your Dossanina update! :D Which I’ll be off to read when I’m done with this. :)

timeparadoxsims replied to your post “WCIF Simon's hair please? I'm always on the lookout for nice long male...”

It's a conversion by Umi-Sims2 and it's been reuploaded by sims2packrat here: http://sims2packrat.tumblr.com/post/153963303471

Ahhhhh, that’s why I couldn’t find it then! Thank you! Maybe the “Simon’s hair anon” will see this. Or at least hopefully they’ll see your reply on the post. :)

penig replied to your photo “This is generally a house of slobs which is probably why it’s...”

She's keeping her immune system strong. I've found some sloppy kids do dishes out of an apparent desire to show off how grown up and in-charge they are.

Perhaps. Allison is definitely the bolder of the twins. Her brother’s kind of bookish and apparently happy to be up in his room, playing alone, even though he’s just as outgoing. But Allison’s in everyone’s faces all the time. Even the dogs’ faces.

pensblr replied to your photoset “This is a little thing I just made. Usually, I use a different phone...”

Yes! You have no idea how much I was just grumbling to myself about this very issue a couple of weeks ago. Thank you!

You’re welcome! I’ve been grumbling about it for years, off and on...but it only just then occurred to me that, hey, if I can make something be visible in hood view, surely I can make it invisible in hood view, too! Derp......

an-elegant-simblr replied to your photoset “This is a little thing I just made. Usually, I use a different phone...”

It’s very useful really, I hated that phone booth! I use defaults for the lot (before I just hid it under rocks or underground with an OMSP, but I have lots of witches in Strangetown and it was annoying when they arrived and got trapped), but the hood view wasn’t changed and it looked really ugly in the hood view.

Really? It still looks like that in hood view even if you use a default for the phone booth? That’s...annoying. :P But if that’s the case...Yeah, it’s more useful than I thought, then. It kind of sucks, I suppose, not to have any hood view at all rather than a proper one (especially if you use a default), but it’s better than that hideous yellow-and-blue thing screwing up your hood view in a medieval neighborhood or whatever.

yarerakai replied to your photo “Ahahahah! A non-ocean (as in no-waves) beach lot! This is something...”

Many thanks ! Sometimes it annoys me also when my sims live near a river and can't swim in it.

Or, they CAN swim in it, but that’s because it’s a beach lot with the waves and stuff. I didn’t want that. I wanted to be able to put trees right up to the edge and hanging over the water, like a real river. It looks kind of silly if you do that with ocean waves coming in. :p

celebkiriedhel replied to your photoset “Jupiter became an old, fugly dog. <3”

he is looking like he needs a good feed!

Yeah, I know! He always has. Poor thing has a skinny greyhound-type body and a bulky coonhound-type head. The bulk of his head makes his body look even skinnier. Ah, game. *shakes head*

mrningbrd replied to your post “Hey iCad! Are you still thinking about sharing a custom decorated...”

i would die for an icad neighborhood. i wish hoods werent so susceptible to corruption, im sure that would make it easier

*sigh* Yeah, it probably would. Outside of corruption issues, I wouldn’t worry so much about it, but I want to make it a sub-neighborhood template, so that it can be attached to other neighborhoods or be part of an uberhood or whatever. Can’t be that if it has stealth hoods attached to it, itself. :\ One of these days, I’m going to set up a new user account on this machine and test it out. Hopefully, it’ll work...

princess-arystal21 replied to your photoset “House #1 for the new pseudo-Amish. It’s pretty much done on the...”

It's so....brown.

*laugh* Yes. Yes it is. :) But, that tends to happen with log construction. Unless it’s fake log construction and you have drywall and stuff inside that you can paint. I wanted “real” log construction, though.

sim-boo replied to your photo “When your dog has enough floof to hide in… Jupiter got his licks in,...”

I want a floof dog

I love floof dogs. I have a big, floofy Mastiff/St. Bernard mix, and I love cuddling with her and burying my face in her floof...when she’s clean. Which isn’t all that often. Which is one of the main problems with floof dogs. :) Especially when they really, really don’t like baths and they weigh more than you do. Bathing them is, like, a three-person job and everyone ends up soaked to the skin, not just the dog.

acquiresimoleons replied to your post “Some replies.”

nono not your recolors, the mesh set.

Ohhhhhhh! Maybe? But I didn’t think that Ray posted on MTS. Maybe someone included the meshes with a recolor set, though. Either way, though, it’s a beautiful set. Worth having twice, maybe! Well, OK, not because that doesn’t do you any good, but you know what I mean. :)

#replies

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chloe-elizabeth-price · 7 years ago

Note

1-40 (take that)

A lot of questions as per usual, thanks for always being curious and cute @annoyinglyuniquebread!

I’ll put these under a cut as well as trigger warn you guys for mentions of mental illness, unhealthy coping mechanisms and abuse.

Anyone who wants to, feel free to read what basically feels like my life story lol

Here we goooo

1: Talk aboutthe first time you watched your favorite movie.

This question as well as numbers 11, 24, 28 and 38 where answered here and here

2: Talk aboutyour first kiss.

I was 7 and kissed a boy in my class behind the bushes at recess in a display of young compulsory heterosexuality. He dumped me at a classmate’s birthday party a week later and I never looked at boys again lol

3: Talk aboutthe person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

This girl I met in my freshman year of college and fell hard and fast for. She clearly didn’t feel the same for me and very unceremoniously dumped me without much of an explanation, it sucked!

4: Talk aboutthe thing you regret most so far.

That I didn’t break contact with my biological father much earlier than I did, his presence in my life made me feel like shit for way longer than I deserved and now that he’s out of my life I feel a lot better!

5: Talk aboutthe best birthday you’ve had.

l’m not actually much of a fan of birthdays and much prefer Christmas, never really liked the idea of growing up…But I guess my tenth birthday was cool. It was nice to turn a two digit number for the first time and the pajama party I had that year was pretty sweet!

6: Talk aboutthe worst birthday you’ve had.

Well my fourth birthday sucked, it was my first birthday after my parents got divorced and I was worried my dad wouldn’t show up for the party and well…He didn’t……………….Yeah that sucked!

7: Talk aboutyour biggest insecurity.

I have many, many insecurities of different natures and can honestly not really narrow it down to one big one.

8: Talk aboutthe thing you are most proud of.

I’m proud of unapologetically being who I am despite breaking norms and societal expectations in more ways than one; as well as for standing up for others like me!

9: Talk aboutlittle things on your body that you like the most.

I like my eyes, they’re a nice shade of blue

10: Talk aboutthe biggest fight you’ve ever had.

Physical? Because I’ve never really been in a physical fight and I can’t really think of a huge verbal one either right now. Of course I’ve gotten into some arguments with my parents and stuff growing up, nothing major that I can remember though.

12: Talk aboutthe worst dream you’ve ever had.

I rarely remember my dreams, but since I started taking sleeping pills I’ve had some really vivid and scary ones, nothing I feel like reliving by sharing though.

13: Talk aboutthe first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

Yeah, nope, not happening, too demi and reserved to share that one with the internet, sorry!

14: Talk abouta vacation.

The best vacation I’ve ever been on was the one I got from my parents as a graduation gift. They accompanied me to Amsterdam (which is a beautiful, beautiful city) to see Taylor Swift live on the 1989 World Tour! It was one of the best trips/concerts of my life and I really look forward to seeing Tay again in 180 days!

15: Talk aboutthe time you were most content in life.

Probably in my last year of middle school, when I was like 15. It was the last year before I developed mental illness and fell into this dark, dark hole…Wow, that sounds depressing af! Sorry for being such a bummer!

16: Talk aboutthe best party you’ve ever been to.

I don’t really do parties, I prefer to hang out with my friends casually and just play video games and cook/have dinner together or whatever. We’ve had many awesome hangouts like these over the years and I can’t really pick a specific one as the best one!

17: Talk aboutsomeone you want to be friends with.

I’d love to be friends with Carrie Fisher, we’d get along famously and she seems like the kind of person you could just talk to you know? Carrie, if you can hear me up in heaven, please consider being my friend and save me a cloud to sit on next to you, cool?

18: Talk aboutsomething that happened in elementary school.

I got dumped at that birthday party, lol…No but really I don’t remember much of elementary school, except that one time a bitch stole my tamagotchi, that wasn’t cool Sally, so not cool!

19: Talk aboutsomething that happened in middle school.

My teacher surprised me by sneaking me into another school’s library so that I could join this class of strangers in meeting one of my favorite authors at the time and get my books signed as well as give her a book i’d written and exchange email addresses with her. We still emailed occasionally years later, it was dope!!

20: Talk aboutsomething that happened in high school.

I came out of the closet, that was pretty damn dope too!

21: Talk abouta time you had to turn someone down.

During my freshman year of college (wow, a lot sure did happen that year, huh?) this guy in my class basically started stalking me and obsess over me despite me repeatedly telling him I’m gay and wasn’t interested. It got pretty badly out of hand and it ended with the school suspending him after me having complained to the student council after he failed to recognize my rejections for what they were, FUCKING REJECTIONS!!!

22: Talk aboutyour worst fear.

i’m TERRIFIED of failure in any and all forms! Don’t wanna talk about it though, it’ll probably trigger unnecessary anxiety…

23: Talk abouta time someone turned you down.

I’m too shy to ask people out so I have never really been turned down in that sense, have been dumped tho, that’s………..unfun!

25: Talk aboutan ex-best friend.

During elementary and middle school I was best friends with this guy i’d known since kindergarten, we drifted apart since we went to different high schools and haven’t really hung out since sophomore year which is too bad really because we were like siblings at one point and I’d like to have that back someday.

26: Talk aboutthings you do when you’re sick.

I try to drink a lot of tea and stay as comfortable as possible while watching something that makes me happy and distracts me from feeling badly. Like Buffy, Brooklyn 99 or F.r.i.e.n.d.s

27: Talk aboutyour favorite part of someone else’s body.

My dog’s tail is fluffy and adorable just like the rest of her! :)

29: Talk aboutwhat turns you on.

I feel like I’ve talked about this before, but open-minded people who aren’t afraid of having frank, honest conversations in which the express their opinions. Girls are beautiful and physically most parts of girls’ bodies honestly turn me on buuuut again, too awkward for this discussion on the net.

30: Talk aboutwhat turns you off.

Close-minded and bigoted people disgust me!

31: Talk aboutwhat you think death is like.

I’m not really sure, but a quote from John Green’s Looking For Alaska comes to mind: “Thomas Edison’s last words were “It’s very beautiful over there”. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful.”

32: Talk abouta place you remember from your childhood.

When I was younger my grandparents lived in this big, yellow house in the countryside and I remember it as this bright, warm and very positive place! It was surrounded by a large, dark forest that my grandma used to call The Forest of Fairy Tales” and in their huge garden they had an abundance of sweet berries and I had a legit fort my grandpa had built for me at the edge of the forest. I really miss that place, almost as much as I miss my grandma!

33: Talk aboutwhat you do when you are sad.

Pretty much the same thing I do when I’m sick, I try to drink gallons of tea, stay comfy and watch something lighthearted and uplifting. Listening to Taylor Swift also helps me a lot if I feel down. The sound of her voice makes me feel at home and reminds me that things are gonna be okay, ya feel?

34: Talk aboutthe worst physical pain you’ve endured.

As a kid with cerebral palsy I pretty much grew up in hospitals and was subject to a lot of pretty painful stuff before I even turned ten, as a result my pain threshold is very high. Despite this I can’t really say breaking my wrist in a biking accident at about nine didn’t suck.

35: Talk aboutthings you wish you could stop doing.

I wish I could stop clinging to some of the more unhealthy coping mechanisms I have when it comes to my mental illness…Like I wish I’d stop starving myself and make myself sleep deprived on purpose and stuff…That’s not really healthy and I wish I didn’t cling to these things and instead could find healthier ways to deal with bad mental health situations. I’m working on this though!

36: Talk aboutyour guilty pleasures.

I don’t believe in guilt associated with interests of any kind. If I like something I like it, plain and simple!

37: Talk aboutsomeone you thought you were in love with.

This boy that sat next to me in my eighth grade math class, he was super nice and we were friends. Secretly though I was like OBSESSED with him, it was actually kinda cute. Sadly for 14 year old me I was too shy to ask him out though, which was just as well since it was clearly compulsory again and I was really crushing super hard on the cool punk girl in my social studies class who I just thought i really, really, REALLY wanted to be friends with at the time…I was too shy to talk to her too though sooo

39: Talk aboutthings you wish you’d known earlier.

That it’s okay to be both disabled and queer, the belief that you couldn’t caused me to stay in the closet (even to myself) for far longer than I needed to. you’re not “too much” just because you happen to be part of several minority groups, never forget that, kids!

40: Talk aboutthe end of something in your life.

When I was 13 I finally broke contact with my biological father and that was the end of a cycle of mental and psychological abuse. It was one of the best decision I’ve ever made and the most cathartic ending to any period in my life so far.

Thanks for all those questions, Bellz and sorry it took some time for me to answer them, I’ve had a busy week!

#thanks for the ask!

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