#i fear that i might have contributed to this a bit too much

[dropthedemiurge]

i suddenly have a small wave of new followers who don't feel like bots for some reason

.... is that reddit x tumblr humanization post making rounds on this hellsite again?xD

[kitchensinksurrealism]

listening to my february-june 2022 playlist which led to ⬇️

[writers-potion]

Writing Mad Characters

Okay this is a bit awkward because I had this question copypasted into Google Docs I use to draft my answers, and I realized I've lost the question in my inbox (which is being flooded).

So...I'm so sorry for whoever asked this question. Sorry for the delay because I was struggling with life in general for the past month and definitely SORRY for losing your question (－‸ლ)

Q: I'm writing a story where a major character is slowly spiraling into madness where small details kinda hint into the downfall right before the bigger details appear and then it the floodgates open. Is there anything I should avoid? Anything that I should keep in mind? Anything that I should research?

Things to Avoid

“Mad” or “Insane” is too general. Writing a cliched ‘crazy’ character who randomly talks to imaginary people and lashes out at strangers, you’ll offend a whole bunch of people who've gone through/have mental illnesses. Read up on existing mental conditions (schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic disorder and borderline personality disorder, etc.) to see what your character might have. 

Words like “mad” “crazy” or “insane” aren’t enough when you’re describing their status. As mentioned, these words hardly mean much when it comes to providing a clear description.

Contradicting yourself. Throwing random unhinged symptoms here and there wouldn’t work. In fact, you must have a clear arc on which they’re traveling and ensure that your “hints” are all getting at something.

Making the character overly destructive or harmful to others (when nothing really justifies it)

Justifying damaging behavior with this “madness”. Mad or not, your character will still have motives and goals that drive them forward. 

Making them look incompetent just the fact that they have a mental condition that makes them appear “mad” to others shouldn’t prevent them from achieving success. In fact, they may be even more cool-hearted and logical when it comes to their obsessions/goals. 

Research Tips

Narrow down the mental conditions your character experiences. Even if it’s a fictional condition, try basing it on existing ones and building on top of them. 

Take some time to study characters and/or real clinical cases that resemble the kind of madness you’re going for. 

- Anxiety Disorders: excessive fear and dread (ex. phobias) - Mood Disorders: persistent swings in mood or persistent feelings that interfere with daily life (ex. Depression, bipolar) - Psychotic Disorders: disordered thinking (ex. schizophrenia) - Eating Disorders: extreme emotional attitudes toward food (ex. Bulimia, anorexia) - Impulse Disorders: unable to resist urges (ex. Kleptomania, pyromania, gambling) - Personality Disorders: extreme inflexible personality traits (ex. Anti-social disorder, OCPD) - Past Traumatic Stress: persistent, frightening memories leading to emotional numbness 

Does your character have empathy?  

A sociopathic kind of madness is different. 

General Writing Tips for Spiraling into Madness

Establish a Baseline 

A lot of factors (stress, family history, innate personality, trauma, etc.) can contribute to madness, but it is not going to happen in a week. Define the existing mental and physical conditions your character has, and start from there. 

If you’re aiming for suicidal tendencies at the end, you want to start with symptoms of depression (a condition that may lead to suicide) - growing apathetic, erratic sleeping patterns, irritability, etc. 

This is also the stage where you want to plant some triggers that’ll go off later.

Trigger Events

A perfectly sound character suddenly spiraling down the madness route due to a single accident or traumatizing event isn’t convincing. 

A madness “snap” denies the reader the experience of watching the character’s journey into madness and how they feel about it. 

Internal Conflict (antagonist in himself) 

You must remember that madness is incurable. If someone could “cure” themselves by eating healthy, exercising and taking a few pills, it wouldn’t be much of a madness, would it? This means that the worst antagonist is going to be the character themselves, or the part of them that’s been taken away. 

Show how they are frustrated with themselves, scared of themselves, angry at their “alternative self”. The experience of not knowing yourself is a whole journey of its own.

Physical Manifestations/Quirks

If your character has a routine, show how they break down. 

They might develop habits that they otherwise would never allow themselves to have, perhaps as an effort to “keep this madness out”

Deteriorating Relationships

Depict how the character’s madness impacts his closed/loved ones. In the earlier stages, those close to him might be faster to notice and accept the signs of madness, even if the character denies it him/herself.

The first signs of madness might show when the character is trying to deal with difficult relationships - like losing patience and being unable to pick up subtle social clues.

Choosing Obsessions Over Primal Urges 

For these characters, obsession can take over a person’s normal urge to eat, sleep or even live. This can lead to, more or less, suicide. 

Example: In Black Swan, Nina’s obsession with becoming the perfect ballerina drive her to insanity, to the point where she doesn't mind dying on stage for the show.

[signanothername]

I– I need to ask.

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?? Like, share your thoughts with everyone. Because I've been working on my universe for about three years now, AND I STILL FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT READY. At the same time, I’m still afraid to share these things...

So. How do you do it?D:

Alright my answer will seem a bit harsh and/or cruel, but know that I mean it in the most kind, genuine, and gentle way possible, i just don’t know how to word it any other way

With that in mind

Anon, you’re never going to be ready to share it, and the fear will always linger, you will never be 100% confident of what you share

And that’s ok

Again, I know that i make it seem super easy, but I promise that I’m just as afraid to share my ideas as anyone else (I’m a perfectionist, and that also contributes to my fear to share things)

It’s just, I think of it this way

I have an idea, and I got two choices

Either

1- I keep overthinking it, and succumb to my worries and fears when it comes to my idea, and keep my ideas with me, never to see the light of day

Or

2- I acknowledge that I’m afraid, acknowledge that my idea might not be perfect or ready, acknowledge that there might be flaws that I will probably notice later and even feel stupid about it, and still share my ideas anyway regardless of the voice in my head telling me to “wait a little more”

I usually go for choice number 2

The art and writing process is complicated, it’s so not easy to write something and feel ready to share it, no matter how much time it takes, you will never ever feel truly and utterly ready to share it, you’ll have that worry in your mind that maybe it’s stupid, or incomplete, or inconsistent or whatever else

And guess what? Sometimes, the worried voice in your head is completely right

But what matters is how you tackle it

Even if you share an idea, remember that you can always change your mind about it, you can absolutely go back and say, I don’t like that idea anymore and so I’ll remove/ change/ replace it

Ideas are never set in stone, you change and grow as a person as so do your ideas, they grow and change with you as you learn more and more, and sometimes they don’t, they don’t change at all, and that’s ok too

You can’t keep worrying about whether the story or idea you’re working on is ready or complete, because all you’re going to do is just walk around in circles and end up never sharing anything at all

It’s ok to be worried, but you can’t let your worries control you, of course, it’s not easy to ignore your worries, but it’s better than feeling stuck with your ideas

I myself do deal with these worries a lot, most of the time i just tell my brain “shut up” and share my ideas anyway, other times my worries do get the best of me and i tend to keep some ideas to myself

But sharing your ideas is actually essential for you to actually be able to work on them and refine them, because people might start asking questions or giving really good feedback that you actually sit with yourself to think about

But what if they ask you a question and you don’t know the answer to it? That’s actually a good thing, it’ll make you sit down and think of how to connect the dots and answer it, not only does it mean you’re actually making progress on your story/ideas, but these kinda questions help you understand different perspectives and by that, you learn and grow in your writing

It’s ok to be worried and to keep ideas to yourself sometimes, but don’t let them fester, because believe me, eventually your passion is gonna burn out because you kept overthinking it to the point it became just a worry than something you enjoy doing

In fact, to give you a bit of motivation, imma actually share one of the ideas I never shared cause I was afraid it’ll be a bit stupid and out of character

And I’m very worried about sharing it, but fuck my worry I do what I want

Remember when I mentioned Dream received one gift from Nightmare, and never received anything after? My idea for that gift was an echo flower he gave Dream, and it echoes one thing “I love you”

There, I shared it ouuughh the stress of sharing it is killing me actually, but I mean I can keep worrying about it forever, or actually share it and refine it later if I wanted, I choose the latter

And your ideas are never going to be perfect anyway, but you can improve them with time, even after sharing them

That’s all I do really shzggz

So go out there and start sharing anon, fuck anxiety, you can do whatever you want, you’re unstoppable

[ruru-me]

hiii! idk if this has been asked yet, but can i get more lore on the kids’ mothers & their relationships with the dads (strade, lawrence, rire, ren!) are the moms still alive in some cases or are they dead? i’m really interested to know! :3

Hey anon!

The answer to this may be a bit long, so I'll put it into topics and organize them from the best to the worst parental relationships :D

(also some images I found on Pinterest to illustrate cuz I find it funny)

REN

The best among them fr

Bro is living the dream with his children

Manipulative and overprotective at times but it's because he really fears that his babies will go through something like what he went through with Strade.

The mother is still alive (happily married, thank you).

She works as a programmer and ren is a relatively big streamer in the specific internet niche he works in (I leave it to your imagination what that might be)

All his children appreciate their father and love him

The cool dad all kids want to have (me too pls)

Strong emotional bond, he always knows if something is wrong with any of them

10/10

Lawrence

He's only before strade because his anxiety wouldn't let him forget to buy baby formula for violet

Honestly not the best father figure, but violet really likes their dad

Emotional dependence is the basis of it.

It's not healthy but neither of them seems to care

Violet's mother unfortunately died after an infection caused by Lawrence and his idea to remove her limbs.

Unpredictable some days, can be a caring father or an anxious mess (nothing in between)

CPA has certainly gone after violet

6/10

STRADE

More like a cool uncle who offers alcohol to minors than a father

no paternal sense, plus places no limits on the things Hertha does

Regarding their relationship, Hertha doesn't have a good impression of her father and Strade couldn't care less.

Strade shows "affection" by pampering her with everything she asks for (for him it's much more practical than being emotionally available)

One of the reasons Hertha actively tries to F strade when adult and shows no remorse about her actions

Her mother unfortunately took her own life when she was still young

She was probably the only person Hertha could empathize with and care about (genuinely)

5/10

RIRE

Self-explanatory image

The worst of them

He doesn't even think about trying to be a good father figure

Rire is the father who goes to buy cigarettes and disappears and magically appears again when you're an adult to ask you for a favor

Probably his only contribution was the names Severus and Linden

Their mother is alive and lives with them in a house (almost all Rire's proof)

The twins fear their father like the plague. They have no sentimental attachment to him and prefer to stay that way.

Not to be unfair, rire even showed up a few times to check on them (for some unknown reason) but the twins ran off as if they'd seen a monster.

Theoretically they did

-100/10

Ok that's all, hope I've answered ur question.

Feel free to send another (if u feel like)

*dies*

[m4rv3l-girl]

hi!!! I love ur fics sm and I was wondering if you could do one where the reader is struggling with either ptsd or depression or something and they self harm and bucky walks in on them and cleans them up and comforts them and basically tells them it's not their fault ❤️❤️❤️

The Weight You Carry

Bucky x Y/N

Note: Thank you so much for your request, it is so valued! The topic of this one is obviously heavy and I (very fortunately) haven’t had any close contact with a situation like this. Due to the sensitive nature of the request - I have made the decision not to include any scenes of self-harm. This is something I’ve chosen to do because I would hate to write something unrealistic, harmful or content that will contribute to misconceptions. It’s simply not a subject I am well enough educated or experienced in to do it justice in writing. I’ve tried to stick to what you asked as much as possible, it includes the hurt/comfort themes, some clear emotional trauma and ellusions to past self harm but I have deliberately not included it in this fic. Thanks again, I hope you still enjoy! 🫶

Warnings: Depression. Trauma. Hurt/Comfort.

The bathroom was silent except for Y/N’s ragged breaths and the muffled sounds of her quiet sobs. The kind of silence that felt loud in her ears, reverberating against the cold, tiled walls. The mirror above the sink reflected a warped version of herself—puffy eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, and a trembling lower lip she couldn’t quite get under control.

Her hands gripped the edge of the porcelain sink like it was the only thing keeping her upright, the sharp bite of the rim pressing into her palms grounding her in a reality that felt too heavy to bear. She was suffocating under the weight of everything she couldn’t name, couldn’t fix, and couldn’t stop. It was a storm inside her head, a mess of guilt, fear, and exhaustion, swirling endlessly, consuming every bit of light she tried to hold onto.

This wasn’t new. She’d been fighting it for months—years, even. But tonight was one of the bad nights, the kind that snuck up on her, blindsiding her after a day that had been so deceptively normal. That was the cruel thing about it; it never gave her any warning. One moment she was fine, and the next, she was unraveling.

She hadn’t meant to end up here, curled up on the cold bathroom floor, her knees pulled to her chest, her forehead resting against them as she tried to hold herself together. She’d told herself she was just going to splash some water on her face, to take a minute to breathe. But the second she’d locked the door behind her, the dam had broken, and she’d crumpled.

A quiet knock at the door jolted her.

“Y/N?”

The voice was soft, hesitant but unmistakably familiar. Her chest tightened at the sound of it, her tears momentarily forgotten as she froze in place.

It was Bucky. Of course it was.

She didn’t answer, holding her breath as if staying silent would somehow make him go away. She couldn’t let him see her like this—broken, weak, and barely holding on. He didn’t need to deal with her mess on top of everything he carried himself.

“Doll?” His voice came again, quieter this time but no less concerned.

The nickname made her chest ache. He always said it with so much affection, like it was his way of reminding her how much he cared, how much she meant to him. But tonight, it felt like too much—too heavy, too undeserved.

“I know you’re in there,” he said after a beat of silence. His voice was closer now, just on the other side of the door.

“Go away, Bucky,” she finally croaked, her voice barely audible and hoarse from crying.

There was a pause, and for a brief moment, she thought he might actually listen. But then she heard him sigh, the kind of deep, weary sigh that spoke of his own struggles, his own battles.

“Sweetheart, I’m not leaving you like this,” he said gently.

She buried her face in her hands, shaking her head even though he couldn’t see her. “I’m fine,” she lied, the words shaky and unconvincing.

“You’re not,” he replied softly. There was no judgment in his tone, only a quiet determination.

She heard the faint jingle of keys, and her heart sank. Of course, he had the spare key. She’d given it to him months ago when things weren’t as bad, trusting him to use it only if she really needed him.

The lock clicked, and the door creaked open slowly. She didn’t look up, too ashamed to face him.

Bucky stepped inside, his frame filling the small doorway. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on her. She could feel his gaze, heavy with concern, and it only made her want to shrink further into herself.

“Y/N…” he murmured, his voice breaking slightly.

“Please, don’t,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

But he was already moving, kneeling down in front of her with a slow, deliberate gentleness that made her heart ache. He didn’t reach for her immediately, instead settling onto the floor a few feet away, giving her the space she so desperately needed.

“I’m here,” he said simply.

Those two words unraveled her completely.

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face as she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked softly, his brows furrowing.

“For being like this,” she choked out, her hands shaking as she wiped at her face. “For being so…broken.”

His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. Then, with a steadiness that made her heart clench, he said, “You’re not broken, Y/N.”

She let out a bitter laugh, the sound hollow and painful. “Then why do I feel like I am?”

“Because you’ve been carrying too much,” he said simply, his voice steady and sure. “And you’ve been doing it alone.”

His words hit her like a punch to the gut, and she finally looked up at him. His blue eyes were filled with a quiet intensity, a depth of understanding that only someone who had been through their own hell could offer.

“It’s not your fault,” he said firmly, his voice unwavering. “None of this is your fault.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but he shook his head, cutting her off gently.

“Whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re going through, it doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a burden. It makes you human. And I a human too, one that hurts just as much.”

Her tears came faster, harder, and she didn’t resist when he reached out, his hand brushing against hers.

“Let me help you,” he said, his voice softening. “You don’t have to do this alone, Doll. Let me be here for you, the way you’ve been there for me.”

Her resolve crumbled, and she leaned into him, letting him wrap his arms around her. His embrace was warm and steady, a safe haven in the midst of her storm.

“I’m scared,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “But can figure it out. One step at a time.”

And for the first time in a long time, she felt a little bit less alone.

——————————————————————————————————

Requests Open!

[shinxeysartgallery]

J is kind of an asshole and I think we all realize that especially after what she did in Episode 8. Still think she's being hated on a bit too hard though.

She knowingly sided with Cyn, despite knowing what she was responsible for, and that's obviously not a good thing. However, do keep in mind that all of the affected Elliot Manor drones are just traumatized children at the end of the day. Cyn put all of them through immeasurable horrors. Even without Cyn's influence, the drones were treated horribly by the humans (other than Tessa). And based off the scratched-off armbands that we saw N, V, and J have that also match Cyn's armband, there's strong implications that all three of them are also "zombie drones" much like Cyn is herself. We don't know what they were subjected to before being tossed into the dump and later being found by Tessa.

As J and V are fighting, J makes an interesting comment that sheds some light on her motivations. "...It tricked me, too." Obviously, that was never elaborated on, but it strongly implies that she had made some sort of a deal with Cyn for an unknown reason. We got confirmation that V also had made a deal with Cyn, which was basically that she'd do whatever Cyn wanted as long as she wouldn't hurt N (and then would leave them both alone). Don't know if N also made a deal, but he's likely there as a part of V's deal.

So it makes me wonder, what exactly did Cyn promise J? Did she tell her that she could bring back Tessa? Promise to not let her die again? Something else entirely? Based on her comment to V, SOMETHING was definitely promised that ended up being a lie. Everyone reacts to trauma differently. Saw a post a while back (will hyperlink it later if I can find it again) by another user doing a very good breakdown of how they perceived the drones' personalities changed as a result of their trauma. N became a doormat because he kept getting hurt or hurting others every time he stood up for himself or someone else. (They also add that V's coldness towards him contributed to it and made him lose a lot of self-confidence.) V became rather cold because she was basically forced to turn off her emotions to cope with what she was doing. And she was purposefully mean to N to chase him away as an attempt to protect him from Cyn. J became a corporate bootlicker because she was terrified of being discarded again, so now she feels like she has to prove that she's useful.

And I think those theories all definitely hold some water here and help to explain why J still chose to side with Cyn, even after realizing that whatever their deal was was a lie. It's likely that she realized that if she decided to side against Cyn, Cyn would've just killed her straight-up. And that's really not out of the question, considering what she did to N and V once she realized that those two had asked too many questions and realized that she was the bad guy they wanted nothing to do with. If J had also gone against her, she'd just be replaced with either a clone that had its memories wiped (as evident by Cyn's comment to N in Episode 7: "your clones will forgive me") or a personality shift, or just flat-out a completely different drone altogether. There's also her comment towards V during their fight. "I promise it's better on the winning team.", which implies that J had full belief that Uzi wouldn't have been able to stop Cyn and Cyn was going to get her way no matter what. That paired up with the personality shift might imply that she felt trapped. Cyn preyed on her vulnerability and fears of being discarded and weaponized them against her. She believed that Cyn was going to win no matter what, and if she went against Cyn, she was going to be discarded again. Despite knowing she was tricked, she probably stays loyal to Cyn because she's terrified of that outcome. She doesn't want to die, she doesn't want to be thrown away again. But the only person she feels she can get that security from is the same one that basically caused all of her problems. That same person is practically the equivalent of a god in the universe and seemingly NOTHING can stop it. What choice does she have in that perspective?

I still feel like she's an incredibly tragic character. Horribly mistreated by humans, forced to watch (or participate in) her best friend's death at the hands of the one she despises the most, sees the same bestie be horribly mutilated and disfigured, be forced to commit horrible atrocities herself, and be manipulated and lied to. She deserves a redemption arc.

You're obviously allowed to still hate/dislike her, but that's just my thoughts on it!

[callmedaleelah]

— Pinnacle [ tsukishima kei university au series ]

— and when i felt like i was an old cardigan ; tsukishima doesn’t know why he’s been thinking about you, about the time you got scolded by your mom at the parking lot—to be exact.

author’s notes : no mention of (y/n), written in second person pov, semi alternative universe, timeskip!tsukishima, college life, not proofread, english is not my first language

[ masterlist ] | [ ask daleelah go to box box 🐭 ]

The early morning chill was biting as Tsukishima and Yamaguchi started their practice. The university volleyball team had an intense session scheduled today, beginning with a few laps around campus as part of their physical strengthening routine. Tsukishima’s breath came out in visible puffs as he kept a steady pace, Yamaguchi running beside him.

“Have you sent her a message?” Yamaguchi asked, breaking the silence. Tsukishima didn’t need to ask who he was referring to.

“I told you, she said she’s on a holiday trip with her family,” Tsukishima replied, his mind flashing back to the conversation you had at the infirmary, where you adamantly refused to let the doctor give you permission to miss the exam because your mom has already planned a trip for your holiday.

Yamaguchi frowned, clearly not satisfied with that answer. “Yeah, but after seeing how her mother treated her, I bet she’s not enjoying any bit of that holiday.”

“That’s not for anyone to judge, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima said, though his tone lacked conviction.

The two fell into silence again. It had been two weeks since the day he saw your mother scolding you in the parking lot. The memory of you forcing yourself to drink six sachets of ginseng tonic just to satisfy her still haunted him. Despite the cold air, a wave of warmth and worry spread through his chest. He wanted to ask you if it was necessary, if you were having a good time on your holiday, if you were really okay—but he didn’t. He swallowed those worries, not wanting to intrude on something so personal.

Yamaguchi slowed his pace, glancing at his friend. “It’s for you to decide, but I know you’ve been worried about her since that day, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima’s pace faltered, his steps slowing as Yamaguchi continued ahead, leaving him standing still on the track. His heart thudded in his chest—not from the exertion, but from the flood of emotions he had been keeping at bay. He didn’t want to admit it, but Yamaguchi was right. The image of you, standing in the parking lot, looking so defeated, had been stuck in his mind. And the way your mother treated you… it reminded him too much of how he had treated you in the lab—demanding, critical, never satisfied. It made him feel guilty, like he had contributed to your burden.

He exhaled deeply, watching the breath escape from his lips in a puff of white. The morning practice was far from over, but Tsukishima felt as if he was running in circles, stuck between wanting to reach out to you and the fear of making things worse.

As he resumed his run, his mind kept drifting back to you, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe—just maybe—Yamaguchi was right. Maybe he should send that message after all.

After practice, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi walked together to get smoothies from Yamaguchi’s favorite store. The conversation was lighter now, shifting to the upcoming winter camp.

“The coach said we’ll have a nice winter camp in Okinawa in two days,” Yamaguchi said excitedly. “Can you believe it? Training on the beach, team bonding—it's going to be awesome.”

Tsukishima nodded, though his mind was elsewhere. “Yeah,”

They continued chatting as they waited in line, talking about the drills they’d do on the beach and the matches they might play against other teams during the camp. The excitement in Yamaguchi’s voice was contagious, and even Tsukishima felt a spark of anticipation for the camp.

When they finally took their orders and turned to leave the store, they stopped short—there you were, standing right behind them in line. You looked surprised and flustered to see them, and there was a brief moment of awkward silence.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were back from your holiday,” Yamaguchi said, breaking the silence with a cheerful grin.

Tsukishima’s eyes met yours, and he felt a rush of questions rise to his lips. He wanted to ask if you were okay, how the holiday had really been, if your mother had eased up on you—but he held back, simply watching you instead.

You smiled awkwardly and bowed your head politely to greet them as your seniors. “My holiday trip just ended two days ago, and I decided to come back to the dorm as fast as I could.”

“Why? Did you not enjoy it?” Yamaguchi asked innocently, his curiosity genuine. But before you could answer, Tsukishima discreetly stepped on Yamaguchi’s foot, silently urging him to stop pushing further. Yamaguchi winced but got the message, quickly falling silent.

You let out a small, forced chuckle, trying to mask your true feelings. “No, it was fine. It’s just that my parents want me to join the winter class with Professor Regenstein,” you explained, your eyes flickering to Tsukishima’s, searching for a reaction.

At this, Tsukishima’s gaze sharpened. “Professor Regenstein from the Biochemistry and Molecular Biology department?”

You nodded. “Yes, that’s the one.”

Tsukishima’s expression softened slightly, impressed. “He’s a great professor. You’ll get a lot of insight from his class.”

You nodded, though your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Yeah, that’s what my parents said.”

There was a brief silence, the air between you filled with unspoken words. Tsukishima could see the exhaustion in your eyes, the weight you were carrying from your holiday. He wanted to say something—anything—that might ease that burden, but he didn’t know where to start.

Yamaguchi, sensing the tension, jumped in again, this time with a lighter tone. “Well, it’s good to see you back! Maybe we can all grab lunch before we leave for winter camp.”

You blinked in confusion, tilting your head slightly. “Winter camp? What do you mean?”

Yamaguchi smiled, nodding enthusiastically. “Yeah, the volleyball team is heading to Okinawa for winter camp in two days. It’s going to be great—training on the beach, team bonding, all that fun stuff.”

Your smile faltered, a slight drop in your expression as his words sank in. “Oh, I see… that sounds… exciting.”

Tsukishima noticed the subtle shift in your demeanor, his own expression softening. He could see the disappointment you were trying to hide, the way your shoulders tensed slightly at the news.

Yamaguchi, still oblivious, continued with a grin, “Yeah, it’ll be a nice change of pace. But hey, how about we grab lunch tomorrow around noon before we leave?”

You forced a smile, nodding even though your mind was elsewhere. “Yeah, sure. Noon sounds good.”

Tsukishima watched you closely, feeling a pang of guilt that he couldn’t quite place. “Don’t worry, I’ll text you the time and place later.” He wanted to say something to reassure you, but the words caught in his throat. Instead, he just offered you a small, understanding smile as they began to leave the shop.

As they walked out, Tsukishima couldn’t shake the feeling that he should have said more. He felt conflicted, torn between wanting to keep his distance and wanting to be there for you. The memory of your strained expression lingered in his mind, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it anytime soon.

tagslist (free to mention) ; @theweirdfloatything @snowthatareblack @ilovemymomscooking @nayiiryun

[loveandleases]

Our softie has been a bit neglected lately, so what better time than to post the M X MC karaoke snippet.

“Are you sure you want to do this? It’s okay to back out ya know.” You give M one last glance, your hand resting on the handle of the door into the karaoke booth.

It was a dumb dare, one you didn’t think they would have agreed to. The shots you two did earlier no doubt contributed to their newfound bravery. They groan into their palms, likely regretting all the choices that got the two of you here. You’re about to grab them, walk them back to the apartment but they allow their palms to fall, a newfound determination on their face. “I-I said I would do it. And damn it, I’m going to do it. How can I expect my characters to sing their hearts out to one another if I can’t even go in with my…friend.”

“Promise I won’t take any embarrassing photos of you for blackmail.” You mean it as a joke, but the way M’s shoulders tighten means you missed the spot. It takes five minutes to finally get into the room, M only trying to bolt out the door three times. Which is an improvement to when you went to watch a horror movie together at the theater.

It takes four tequila shots for them to loosen up enough to pick a song, two more shots to muster the courage to begin singing. If you can call it that.

You had to admit you were surprised by how much they were able to drink and still function.  M is lost in conversation with themselves as the song begins to play. Kiss me, out of the bearded barley Nightly, beside the green, green grass. They fumble the first line, their nerves all but apparent on their frame. “Shit-shiiiit.” You muffle a laugh, at least they sing their swears. It’s somewhat endearing as they slowly loosen up, not hiding behind their usual shyness. Their eyes locking onto yours as if the words coming out of their mouth are more than just lyrics. Halfway through the song all the tension that had them wound up is gone, they’re half dancing half jumping from spot to spot. Their cheeks flush from one too many drinks. “Kiss me, beneath the milky twilight.” M turns to you, their hand reaching out for your own. “Are you serenading me right now?” They falter, missing the beat of the next verse, shaking their head as they pull you to join them. It’s a mess of bodies, M spins you, nearly causing you to run into the table. The song long forgotten as your laughter fills the booth. So kiss me. M smiles at you, a goofy grin. The dark circles under their eyes don’t dampen the brightness of their smile. “That was-“ “Fun?” “Fucking awful, I can’t believe you let me sing in public.” They laugh, tossing the microphone onto one of the seats. “Aww, c’mon you did great.”

You both sit, closer than you ever have. Their arm brushes against your own, their leg pressed against yours. Their usual sweet and soft demeanor now mixed with a newfound, alcohol-induced bravery.

Their eyes, normally hesitant and averted, are now fixed on yours with an intensity that is both endearing and startling. “MC,” their voice is uncharacteristically bold, but you don’t miss the slight tremor betraying their nervousness. “I.. I need to tell you something.” They take a deep breath, their heart racing. “I..fuck..okay..damn. alright, I’m going to say it alright.” You know when they get like this it’s not necessarily you they’re talking to, more themselves. “I wanted to…Iwanttokissyou.” The words are said so quickly it takes you a second to register what they said. The words hang in the air, heavy with emotion. Their face a picture of flustered courage, their lips slightly parted and eyes wide with fear and hope. They still give off this softness, but now, now it’s laced with something else. You’re not sure who moves first, normally you would say it was you, but the way that they grab your arms and tug at you might say otherwise. M’s breath hitches, their eyes fluttering shut mumbling one last swear. The world outside the booth fades away, only sound you hear is their breath, and your heartbeat. It’s a gentle kiss at first, a bit hesitant. An exploration of unspoken feelings. M’s lips are soft and warm, a faint taste of alcohol. They groan, and the kiss deepens. Your hands finding theirs, fingers intertwining. You’re not sure how long you kiss, how long M’s tongue tangles with your own. When they pull away, they look at you briefly before squeezing their eyes shut. Their foreheads resting against your own, their cheeks so warm you can feel the heat emanating from them. A genuine smile on their lips, causing your heart to skip a beat. “Will you remember this tomorrow?” You can’t help but ask, knowing they must be drunk. “Ah, I didn’t think about that!” M jerks back, their expression changes so quick, now a look of fear on their face. “We-we should do- I can do you- Fuck no, I mean yes, oh ooh. Oh nooo. I said that out loud. Out fucking loud. Kill meeeee." There they are, the flustered mess you've grown used to. Your hands cup their cheeks, pulling them to look at you, before you lean in. "Kiss me."

[pastafossa]

Pasta! Pasta! Pasta! I think you mentioned that you were currently reading through Daredevil comics. Is there any you recommend as a must read?

I DID! I've gone through a decent amount of runs now, working my way through the Big Rec'd arcs, and it is wild to see all these bits and pieces that I recognize as contributing to the show that really got my love for Matt started, there's some really good shit here.

I'd say Frank Miller's classic The Man Without Fear, and Born Again runs are the biggest Must Read! Having read through some of the arcs that came out before Miller's runs, I get now why people say Miller changed the game with Daredevil. These runs are foundational to all of our modern depictions of Matt, and a huge part of Daredevil's history and development. Miller's arcs aren't necessarily my favorites in terms of pure enjoyment, but they're top of the list because you just get so much of who modern Matt and Daredevil is, distilled down into its purest form.

The Brian Michael Bendis + Alex Maleev run is so gut-wrenching (and somewhat heartbreaking, but what else is new with Matt) in a stunning way, and fleshes out the world around Matt so gd well. The tonal darkness Netflix pulled a lot of its vibe from is on full display, and I loved the importance of characters like Ben Urich. I can see how this run inspired writers that came after, this was another foundational run for Matt. (I'd continue with Brubaker's run immediately after this since it continues the story!)

I know Matt's whole thing is depression, but I feel like Mark Waid's run was a really solid amalgamation of Matt's lighter tone earlier on and the more serious vibe he gets later. This is both a fun read and a solid one, allowing us to kind of see a bit more of what Matt's like when his life's not spiraling from tragedy to tragedy even if he's still taking things seriously when necessary. And damn was this a breath of fresh air. It's on my Must Read list because what's the point of following Matt if we never get to see him happy? This might be my personal enjoyment favorite.

Kevin Smith's Guardian Devil run, not necessarily because I think it's the best but because we really dig into Matt's catholicism here in a way that ends up influencing a lot of what comes later. Must Read for this take alone, since Matt's faith has become a big part of who he is as a character, even if parts of this run are a bit rough (there is sometimes waaay too much text on the page, which from what I understand Smith has acknowledged).

That's what I've got so far! I still have a TON on my list I want to get to (Soule's the next one I'm eyeing) before fully diving into Chip Zdarsky's current run (which I am very excited about), but these are the Big Reads that I think give an excellent sense of who Matt is as we understand him, his history, and how he's developed over the decades. ❤️

[fraux140]

Some König Headcanons and Hottakes

So I want to preface this by saying no hate to anyone. These are just some opinions that I think some people might disagree with which is totally fine. This is also a little bit of me pointing out some of his flaws. I love him though.

He is not a shy little uwu boy who would have a panic attack if a cutie looked at him a certain way. If he was so prone to panic attacks and his anxiety was that crippling then he wouldn't have been in the special forces and he wouldn't be in a PMC - which are highly selective.

Personally I don't fully believe that he was a colonel. The only hint we have gotten of that is a one of the 'Bad Brothers' loading screens which just says 'Colonel König' with no more context. Colonels aren't really active on the battle field and it is very unlikely you would see one in action. Officers ranked that highly are seen as too valuable to be 'wasted' in infantry combat.

Continuing from my last point, even a lot of majors and Lt Colonels aren't battle prone. Considering he would have had to have passed through those ranks to become a colonel means that he would have spent a lot of time behind a desk and commanding teams such as platoons and battalions. We don't know enough about him to say that he isn't a good leader, after all he is simply an operator with a few paragraphs of text as a background. However, his voice lines and little text we do get about him tells us he is not one to enjoy standing by and having others fight on his command. He would MUCH rather be in the brawl.

And I know that Alejandro is a colonel and very active duty, however we can assume that this is largely due to his ambition and personal attachment to his home, which he wants to protect from the cartel. I'm not saying a colonel doesn't fight, but it is exceedingly rare.

My last anti-colonel theory point - why would a colonel wear such DIY gear? I just want to say if you hc him as a colonel that is absolutely FINE, those are just reasons as to why I don't :/

Moving on, I believe him to be a sore loser. For example, he was deemed unfit to be a sniper, and so he wears a sniper hood and has that voiceline "And they said I couldn't be a sniper". Dress for the job you want, not the job you have ig?

I believe he wants to prove people wrong. Getting rejected as a sniper wounded his ego so A LOT. I hc him to be between 32-37 and if he joined jagkdo/KSK (old bio said he was German and in the KSK, newer ones said Austrian and JagKdo, now there's no mention of sf so idk??) while he was younger, say around 23-26, he's had a lot of time for that wound to heal and yet it hasn't. This man holds hella grudges.

Because of this, I think that a fear of failure might also contribute to his anxiety. If he was asked about being scared to fail he'd smirk and say there was no way. But deep down in his core it eats away at him.

This might also bleed into his social life. He's fearful of relationships and remains single for a long time. He'd rather not ask you out instead of having you reject him for trying. He'd have to REALLY like somebody and also have some reassurance or signs that they liked him out.

Cannot accept accountability for simple mistakes. He knocked your coffee mug over? You shouldn't have left it there. Hit you a little too hard in training? You should be stronger. You should have dodged it. Not his fault you're not as good as him.

Is a show off. If he is obviously better at something then you'll never hear the end of it. Better driver? Better fighter. Yeah, he's bragging about it. Again, his fear of not being good enough rears its ugly head. He deflects it on to those who are weaker - they could never be him.

Damn this was a list of negatives, but I love him in spite of all of his flaws. What kind of list should I make next? I should probably do one with some positive traits lmao.

Anyway, I don't mind at all if anyone disagrees with these this is just how I see him. Maybe one day I'll write a fic where he acknowledges his demons and starts to heal.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Don't know if you've mentioned it and I've just missed it, if I have feel free to ignore this, but if not I wanted to ask: Since the Hatake clan has so few children and the ones that does exist and children overall are very much treasured, what was the WS era Hatake's view on sending children into war at a very young age? Do you HC that they do it just the same as other clans and it contributed to the dwindling number? Or did they do things differently?

OHHH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION ACTUALLY ?? OK SO

I hc that obv, warring states era, pretty much all the clans are starting out teaching their kids a lot younger than in modern times. (Though there are some exceptions in modern w some clan kids, who gets the same education that they're clans have been giving for hundreds of years)

Now, modern village-era has a lot more to teach with stuff like techniques and jutsu, (with there having been a big boom not only in the invention of new jutsu when Konoha was founded but also in the sharing of them between clans + making them standard) but warring states held them to a much higher standard with the basics they were given

So a 13 year old from modern konoha may know a few more tricks and techniques than a 13 year old from the warring states— but the warring states kid is probably going to be at a higher standard of skill. Not just bc they had less to learn and was thus trained on their basics over and over again, but also bc the states were harder on their kids bc like. They faced constant danger from literally every single direction at all times.

The village may have industrialized the child soldier buisness but it did help some. It provided a place where they didn't have to begin training till they were older (unless family interfered ofc) where they could act as children without fear of eandering too far and getting caught by bloodline thieves or rival clans, where there was time and space for them to fail at being a "good shinobi" and hopefully learn to be better

The warring states did not have any of that.

Anyways with that said! I think different clans have different standards of at what age their kids are adults now and what age are they properly battle ready.

The consensus tho is usually about ~15/16 for them being an adult (though that's still in air quotes)

You'll notice that clans who have less conflicts/are in more secure positions, have higher standards for adulthood. Like Uzushio, who considers their kids to be adults at 17.

Similarly, clans have different standards for when their kids are battlefield ready! There's a big divide also between the children of the clan head and the other children of the clan— ofc the clan heads children will probably be considered battle ready much earlier than others might just bc the clan head wants to make sure their children really get that experience.

You don't not have to be an adult to be battle ready, and many children are given missions with older clan escorts to guide them. If a child can prove their skill, they'll possibly be given their own solo missions, but ofc the type of mission is considered.

There's also probably a big difference in clans like the senju (not at risk to bloodlime theieves bc of how rare the mokuton is) and the Uchiha (very fucking at risk) treat sending out their children on missions!

So like, a senju kid might get an easy, solo courier missiom after proving their skill

But there's no way in hell the Uchiha would send out a child of the same skill and age on a solo mission of any kind

SO. ANYWAYS. THE HATAKE.

Like you said, I hc that they're a very small clan, and have problems both with fertility and also in safely giving birth. Even if they do get pregnant, there's a lot of miscarriages, c sections, and the mother dying in birth. It's very unfortunate, and because of it they treasure their children greatly

Which means ofc that their views on kids are a bit different than other clans!

Now, they are still a shinobi clan in the middle of the warring states era.

They do however have an extra bonus of being based in Iron— which actually has very few other shinobi clans, and whos millitary is mostly made up of samurai. So they have no real worries about neighboring clans attacking.

They don't even really have any direct enemies among the clans? And they have a terrifying reputation, some earned and some pure rumor, so most who know of them hear their name and immediatley turn around to book it the other way.

Which is to say: it's a bit safer for them to venture out and about than other clans, like the Uchiha.

So anyways:

When a Hatake is around 14-16, they'll lead their first hunt and have the option of gaining their 'stripes'. Red tattoos painted onto their face by the clans spiritual leader (Tobirama, when visiting his mother's clan in the past, got his tattoos here)

Once they have stripes, they are technically considered an adult— but there are ofc stages of it and they tend to not be really seen as an adult adult till about 18

The Hatake's are a self sustaining tribe and only take missions if they need the coin or it interests them. And when they do, the missions tend to be either bloody or something along the lines of "please come stand next to me and look menacing xoxo thx"

They arent to take any missions, solo or otherwise, till they've lead their first hunt. There are occasional exceptions: if the kid begs hard enough/ if the missiom looks simple and easy enough/if the missiom actually requires someone around that age/and ofc it's never solo— but in general before they lead a hunt, they pretty much never ever leave the home of their woods.

Its very boring and does lead to lots of pent up energy and begging of PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME GO ON A MISSION PLEASE JUST ONE JUST ONE SINGLE MISSION ILL EVEN DELIVER MAIL IF I HAVE TO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Even once they've got their stripes, it usually takes them a bit to get their first solo mission— both bc of over protection and also bc Haruka, the clan head, is a bitch and thinks it's funny to see them cry about it.

And ofc, the clan head is the one who has final say in who gets what mission. Tho in general the matter is usually dealt with by her heir— she can just butt in at any time

SO. THEIR OPINION ON OTHER CLANS.

The kids themselves burn with jealousy with the knowledge that their peers got to see battlefields when they were 12 or whatever

The adults find it mildly distasteful, but again, they are shinobi clans in the middle of the warring states era (and also a shinobi clan with a well deserved reputation for being fucking maniacs who would tear the world apart for their family)

So they're ultimately typically kind of "damn that's crazy. I would never." (Judgmental side eye and quick retort towards their own child to not get any ideas)

I think it's hard to say specifically bc its a balance of them valuing children and all but also like. Shinobi. Yk. They are a culture built on the backs of blood and bone

There's also an interesting prospect of how coming to the village changed this— or would have, in the short years the Hatake had their before they got wiped the fuck out

Ofc, using my own ocs here, when they come to Konoha there's only one real kid left, Ichigo at ~10, and there's a few years of busy work with Konoha getting set up and all sorts of shiny new things and people to distract her before it becomes smthn she remembers to beg for again

Sakumo would be born a couple years later, and his clan would die before it became a relevant enough topic to really discuss

BUT YEAH THATS MY TAKE ON WARRING STATES CHILDREN CULTURE N STUFF THANK U FOR UR ASK

[animeyanderelover]

Who I think would be the least to most difficult Yandere to deal with from the Wolf Pack in Twilight. Let's talk about the worst aspects of them that make them dangerous.

(Yes, I am having a brainrot right now.)

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, clinginess, manipulation, guilt-tripping, stalking, agression

Least to most difficult

Embry Call

Embry is "probably" the most harmless shape-shifter from the entire pack and that is mainly thanks to his shy, reserved and considerate nature. In comparison to most of his fellow wolves at least. He is pretty much the only wolf who is too scared and way too embarrassed to approach you directly after he's imprinted and he gives everything way too much thought. You can't even guess how much thought, care and practice has gone into the moment where he finally dares to start a conversation with you. He wrecks his brain and his nerves even more when he plans to ask you out. Obviously he's still obsessive, possessive and clingy but those traits of his are toned down thanks to his quiet and somewhat flustered personality as he cares about how his darling perceives him. A rejection would be the worst thing that could happen so he's very careful with the way he acts around you and the people you love most. He doesn't want to ruin any meaningful bonds you have with others because of him, wants to be accepted by those people if he could have the best possible scenario.

It is important to mention that he's still a little creep who stalks you for the first few weeks, unable to approach you with his jittery nerves. Whilst this dies down for the most part if you two are a couple and you understand and accept the situation that you're in as his imprint, bad habits hardly die down fully. He's not someone who falls very easily victim to negative and violent thoughts so it's safe to have him with you when you hang out with your friends or fellow family members. He gets jealous after a while sure but surprisingly enough he gives you a while to notice that he's in a slightly uncomfortable position with the lack of attention. Believe me, there are people who have way worse jealous reactions in comparison to Embry's more needy tugs on your clothes all of a sudden as he tenses up when the lack of attention starts affecting him. In general he prefers to not stick out or make a scene. It's within his own comfort and yours too. That results in Embry being able to not come over as a pushover or someone unneccessarily overbearing unless he senses that something is wrong.

The fact that he is somewhat aware that some of the stuff he does stalking isn't something he should do also pays off to him being as considerate as he is. Even if he has a hard time accepting this, Embry knows that personal space matters to you at times too. He could spend every waking second with you but before he risks you growing annoyed and tired of him, he at least makes the effort to leave you alone for a bit. What contributes to him caring so much about your own wishes too is his talent to stay in tune with your own emotions. Embry is very sensitive around you and for that picks up your current mood and it always affects him too. It allows him to be great at comforting you silently when you feel down but on the negative side it also means that you can't keep stuff hidden from him since he senses it when you're lying or are nervous about something. He relies on you, opens up about his own feelings which he normally never tells anyone, and for that reacts very emotional and desperate if he fears that you might leave him. Can you really leave him despite knowing all that?

Seth Clearwater

Seth is in all honesty such a sweetheart and devotee but there are a few things that play in him not being at the bottom of the list. His young age and the naivety when it comes to imprinting are two major parts in it. He has so much to learn about shape-shifting and about the world in general, has only heard stories about imprinting so that leads to him romanticizing everything about it when he finally finds his other half. You're his entire world the moment you locked eyes with him and ever since that moment, Seth has been unable to leave you alone. I'm not kidding, he follows you everywhere and wants to be always with you as he sees this as sort of normal. You're his imprint, he's supposed to stay with you and protect you. Telling him to leave or asking him for some time alone rarely ever works and the only thing you earn are tears blurring his eyes as the thought of leaving you hurts and scares him as his young age leads him to heightened separation anxiety. There are no bad intention of guilt-tripping you behind those tears but it manages to make you feel bad most of the time anyways.

You often find yourself gullible around Seth as he's so easily emotional. If Embry gets influenced by your emotions, Seth exhibits them even stronger than you. If you're happy, he is too but if you're sad, he's even more so. He's terribly sensitive so if he really notices that you're deeply miserable, he starts crying in most cases as he's unable to hold his emotions in. He never means to do anything harmful by being such an open book but his strong emotions coupled with his need to stay with you all the time can be mentally exhausting at times for you. On a positive side note this is what allows him to handle his jealousy better than some of the more experienced wolves though as he's joyful when you are, even if you're not paying attention to him at the moment. Be careful though, he's still one of the youngest of the pack so in moments where he does get furious, he has more troubles not keeping his emotions under control and channeling all of his negative feelings onto the person who elicited them in the first place. This gets especially out of hand if he has shifted.

Seth finds himself relying on you far more than he should, especially in the relationship since he's younger than most other members of the pack. This means on the one hand that you can manipulate him the easiest but it also means that he greatly panics and doesn't know what to do if you're emotionally hurt besides crying with you and acting overbearing. In the worst case he has a meltdown because he experiences your emotions so much stronger. Something that isn't even directly his fault but also plays into his placement is his sister. Leah has yet to find her imprint and remains incredibly bitter about Sam has imprinted on her cousin so I imagine her being very adamant to not let Seth suffer from any pain now that he has found his imprint. If Seth loves you too much to fully blame you from any pain he goes through because of separation, Leah will blame you and cause you to feel bad. At the same time she also realizes that her brother is a tad bit too obsessive and tries to teach him how to love someone in a more normal fashion if you're too soft for that.

Sam Uley

Surprisingly enough, Sam ranks fairly low on this list. I think that is mainly because he's very mature for his age and the fact that he was the first one to shift and had to explain and help everyone who shifted after him is a huge attribute to this. He's the alpha of the pact so that automatically forces him to take up more responsibilities than other members as he makes the decisions most of the time and additionally his pack tends to be a rowdy bunch so he has to remind them at times to snap out of it and act their part. With the most experience stocked behind him, it's perhaps unsurprising that Sam is aware about the fact that his imprint bond causes his feelings to dwell on the borderline of being unhealthy. So he makes the effort to control himself in order to not overwhelm and scare you away from him, he's very careful how much of his emotions he exposes around you. Sam has to stay in contact with you though as any distance for too long physically hurts him. He might be considerate but be aware that he won't leave you alone for too long either.

His experience and practice as the first wolf of the current generation enables him to be able to spend time with you around people without feeling all the time jealous or possessive. It's not a safety hazard to go out with Sam in public places as he lets you spend time with friends or interact with random strangers. He actually puts trust in you unless you prove him otherwise and that trust comes with more freedom for you as you know that he won't interfere unless you signal him so or unless he thinks that something is wrong. You're actually able to talk and rationalize with the alpha if something does bother him and both of you can negotiate certain stuff simply because he acknowledges your own feelings and wishes and tries his best to find a middle ground where both of you are comfortable. Sam leans more into the protective than possessive side and since you're his imprint, he sees it as his responsibility to guarantee your safety and happiness. I feel like especially because his father has given him and his mother troubles, he'd be very determined to make you happy.

Now that we've shaded enough positive things about him, let's talk about the bad stuff which is precisely the fact that he's the alpha and feels like it's his responsibility to make you happy. Because this leadership really shows at times in the relationship because especially if his darling isn't someone who speaks up, Sam will take pretty much control over it. He's very dominant and whilst he isn't domineering and only makes decision which he thinks are best for you, if he has set his mind to something it is very difficult to convince him otherwise. Yes, he is negotiating but only if you agree to his conditions or otherwise he won't let you leave. If something is an absolute "no" in his mind, it'll remain that way and there's literally nothing you can do. If you go against him even if he forbids you something, you'll truly experience all the reasons why he's still dangerous. If you go against a rule he has set, you'll lose his trust and not only that, Sam will grow very strict. Restrictions are suddenly interfering with your life as you fully experience him taking full control for a while. Until you've earned his trust back.

Jared Cameron

We're now entering the zone where things get out of hand, starting with Jared. Now, you might wonder why I've placed him above Sam because on the surface, Jared appears to be rather harmless. He's extroverted and constantly cracks jokes to elicit laughter or a smile out of you. Truthfully speaking though, Jared's problems already start with his perception of the imprint bond. He sees nothing wrong with it and he never questions his thoughts and his actions as a result either. Separation from you is literally one of the worst things you could do to him as he experiences pain and a few of the worst mood swings you'll see. He constantly switches back and forth between moping on the floor in misery to growling at other pack members, irritated and unmotivated. You always have to stay in some sort of contact with him or otherwise he'll ask you immediately why you couldn't come over to him or at least call him or send him a mail. To avoid all potential troubles Jared might experience if you aren't with him, you oftentimes are forced to spend entire days with him. Without a break.

Now, Jared cares about his darling and wants them to be happy with him but if they ever ask him for a short time alone, he'll only end up with a mix of confusion and hurt. He can spend every second with you because you're his imprint, you should feel the same, shouldn't you? The previously mentioned misunderstanding of his view of the imprint bond gives you only more of an headache because Jared is literally unable to understand or accept that you want your privacy at times too and want to spend time without him. Both of you might have gotten into arguments about this a few times already yet you got nowhere as Jared is always too dense to comprehend what you demand from him. What do you know about the imprint bond anyways? He's the shape-shifter, not you. This particular mindset is something that he goes by rather strongly and makes the situation only worse at times. You're human, you don't understand what's going on right now and just like that, Jared has written all your arguments and opinions off as your lack of understanding of his world.

With him around, it's impossible to have a decent conversation with others as he despises it when your attention isn't on him. He starts distracting you and if you try to ignore him or shove him away, he'll only get worse. There are also times where he just doesn't like a person for no rational reason and for that is always very wary and on guard around them. If they get anywhere near you, he'll glare heavily at them. It can or can't go well with him when you're with others he doesn't feel safe around. The moment he pulls you closer to him and you realize the growl vibrating inside his chest, you know it's time to leave though because you're not risking it as soon as you know what he is. Jared is willing to resort to emotional blackmailing if he sees the need for it and once you have him kneeling in front of you, hugging you and sobbing to not be mad at him and to not leave him, you'll find yourself stuck. Once he has realized that something works on you to convince you to not do something, he remembers it and uses it again. Especially arguments are always cut short for that reason as he hates getting in conflicts. Let's just stay happy like this.

Quil Ateara

Quil is almost similar to Jared in a few ways. Both wouldn't necessarily appear all that dangerous upon the first few glances. Quil himself is a very cheerful and happy individual and that only intensifies upon imprinting on you. He's charming and he's constantly complimenting you and in a few ways he's actually a bit better than Jared is. He is handling his jealousy better as happiness is something that makes you look only more beautiful so he just endures it for a while before he starts making sarcastic jokes, something you'll hopefully realize and turn around to give him the attention he so sorely craves. Quil is often taking you outside too because whilst he also enjoys just being somewhere with you where no people and no other distractions are, the city offers the chance for fun dates which he wants you two to have so there won't be such a big isolation factor. Physical separation from you is not something he can deal with at all though and even if he tries, he's unable to do anything after a while as your absence pains him greatly. You often have to come back to get him back on his feet.

Quil harbors a similar mindset as Jared in which he thinks that you probably react the way you are because you don't understand what's going on but differently from Jared, he tries to sympathize with you. Or at least give you the illusion of doing so, a strategy to appease you in order to not get into an unnecessary argument with you. That's a problem with Quil. He backs off and follows your wishes for a while so you calm down before he goes to break them again and act the same way, trying to justify his behavior by saying that he slipped up and that it isn't that easy for him to stay away from you thanks to the imprint bond. He's much more likely to use manipulation on you and it's frightening to think how much he actually calculates behind his happy grin. Technically speaking Quil's darling experiences more freedom than Jared's darling would but the main reason why Quil is higher is because he's far more unpredictable. Jared is with his behavior very frequent to the point where you can anticipate his reactions, Quil on the other hand is much more sly and frankly spoken, scarier.

This man takes matters into his own hands if he sees the need for it and that is a very frightening aspect. Sure, he won't kill or hurt humans unless he's given a good reason but whilst all the previous shape-shifters wouldn't go necessarily much against humans because it's their job to protect them from vampires, Quil will. He's almost apathetic to someone who has harmed or hurt you in any way or form as in his eyes, only someone truly evil could hurt you. It's difficult for such people to gain any forgiveness from him. Even if you forgive them, even if this is a person you still want in your life, if they fail to convince Quil, it's over. He will cut all ties you have with that person and even if your sadness breaks his heart, he views the connection with such a person only as toxic and as a guarantee to get you hurt again. Better cut ties before it hurts more. He doesn't shy away from using threats and intimidation to get the message across and the worst part about it is that he's lying to you. He tells you that he doesn't know why that person is suddenly avoiding you whilst comforting you all at the same time.

Paul Lahote

I think it's obvious why he's placed that high but let's jump straight into the mess that is Paul anyways. His temper is already short as it is so just imagine what it's going to be like once he imprints on his s/o. Paul, from the moment his world has shifted upon looking at you, acts incredibly possessive and dominant, jealous and aggressive. Being with you isn't just something he wants, it's something he needs and whether you like it or not, he's from that point on always sticking with you. Partially he might understand your point of view but at the end of the day, he's feeling incredibly entitled and even desperate as he just can't be away from you. He can't! Why can't you understand that? His entitlement is very difficult to handle as he essentially sees himself due to the imprint bond as the only one who is meant to protect you and who can protect you. So instead of being fully grateful if someone else helps you, he's pissed off that they interfered with a bond they couldn't even begin to fathom. You're not a victim to his ire but he's slightly mad when you ask someone else for help since that should be him.

As his possessive and protective obsession spikes his anger issues into space, you see yourself faced with multiple problems once you know what Paul is. His emotions are out of control as even the smallest thing could set him off at any time. One wrong glance from someone, one insult that is whispered behind your back or even a joke from a friend of yours that comes over wrong in his head. He tends to get angry over even the small stuff which you would usually brush off and don't pay too much attention too. He can't just ignore it if someone teases you or says something rude to you, even if it comes from someone you're close to. Not even to mention that his possessive side leads to increased jealousy to the point where he growls even at your close friends. He seems to trust no one with your safety besides himself. His overprotective behavior makes him on top of it all very overbearing as he's constantly hovering around you and makes a big fuss over you as soon as he realizes that you're in any sort of pain. He gives you even less space in such cases as all his instincts scream at him to take care of you.

There's definitely a big isolation factor alongside his limited patience. Paul does practice to control his temper but the amount of times he suffers from a relapse is saddening as much as disappointing for you as his feelings always get the better of him. In order to prevent anything bad from happening, you have to spend most of your time alone with him which Paul doesn't mind but you definitely do. You constantly have to neglect other people as Paul consumes almost all of your time for himself because otherwise he can't be reasoned with. You know he's very sweet and funny if he's alone and has your attention only on himself but the moment anyone else is around you two, he always seems to be on guard. Even his own pack members aren't an exception to that. If you want to do something alone, you need hours to convince Paul who doesn't want to hear any of it. You need to call him though multiple times an hour or otherwise he'll come running after you. Once you've left his field of vision, he's worried sick as his irritation increases every minute.

Leah Clearwater

We've nearly arrived at the top of the list now and the second place goes to the only female shape-shifter in the pack: Leah Clearwater. But why? Well, I feel like there's one big event that pretty much influenced her life and changed her personality. That's the day where Sam, her ex-boyfriend, imprinted on her cousin Emily and broke up with her. She was happily in love before her heart got torn apart and she hasn't forgiven Sam nor Emily fully for it. Worst is that Sam is now her alpha and she's seeing him and Emily being happy together far too often which only worsens her heartbreak. Even if Emily is his imprint, she can't get over it and it isn't until she locks eyes with you for the first time that she's for the first time able to understand why Sam made the decision he did. You're happiness, you're a cure and an absolute joy in her grim life and Leah knows that she'd do anything to keep you safe and happy. Alongside with the imprint bond comes a feeling of pressure unlike anything she has experienced before though as with the sheer ecstasy comes also stress and an overwhelming tightness in her chest.

Leah is insecure. Insecure and terrified. Whilst she has now gotten over Sam, the pain and the previous heartbreak now shifts into something else. Insecurity, fear and paranoia that somehow she'll lose you too. She doesn't want her heart to be broken again since she knows that she'd never recover if you would reject her and it's this paranoia and fear that turns her into this bitter, possessive and jealous woman. Sam and Emily have shaped her and she'll never recover from those issues throughout her entire life which means that she'll never learn how to deal with her emotions. Worst is that she doesn't even try, differently from some other wolves. I mean, even Paul tries to control his anger issues even if he fails but Leah never seeks treatment to better herself. She has better control over her ability to shift anyways and with the rest of her broken emotions, she doesn't see the need to practice to better herself. Instead she lets her fear guide her to act incredibly possessive and overprotective. She wants to do well but her reactions are always far too extreme as soon as she notices that something is wrong with you.

Her open insecurities are her main problem in the relationship as she's quite often worried that you'll find someone who you like more than her. Believe me, she knows that she is hard to be around but she can hardly reason with herself as her feelings always take control over her. She might not be as openly aggressive as Paul is but she'll definitely scare people away from you too. She gets very easily jealous and that can even apply to family members and closest friends of you, even if she knows herself that you value them only platonically. There's little to no respect she shows someone as soon as they've triggered her as she insults them in a bitter tone, poison seething through her words. She never apologizes to them either as her pride holds her back and she only feels guilty when she realizes that she's hurt you by acting so rude. Leah wants to shield you from feeling even an ounce of the pain she had to go through but that unfortunately leads her to cutting people out of your life as soon as they've made you cry. She doesn't care what their motives are, she'll never forgive them. They just have to stay away from you.

Jacob Black

Did you see this coming? Jacob and Leah are at the top of my list for the exact same reason. Both used to be very deeply in love with someone but both were rejected because that person loved someone else. I give Jacob the price of being the most difficult one though because I feel like he'll exhibit everything in an even worse way than Leah. Why? Because at this rate Jacob just doesn't care anymore. Paul cares about his darling and tries to control himself, Leah ocassionally cares and feels guilty, but Jacob just doesn't anymore. He's done with being hurt, done with being left behind for someone else. Now he has finally found his imprint, the person most important to him and he decides that he'll never allow history to repeat itself. That's why he's willing to go very far and use very low tricks to manage to get close to you as fast as possible as he's in a desperate rush right now as every person around you is suddenly turned into a potential rival in his eyes. He feels bad about it if he sees that it has a negative effect on you but he shoves it all away as he prioritizes his own needs.

Jacob is sure that if you give it a try with him, you'll soon forget about the sadness you experience. In his mind you two only need each other and no one else is really needed. He definitely lives after this philosophy as he makes you his absolute priority and neglects and ditches everyone else and expects you to do the same. If you don't do the same and actually meet others and prefer to spend time with them instead of spending time with him, he'll hold it against you and even more against the person who has such a bad influence on you. He pushes anyone away from you who hurts you even once or whom he simply dislikes for being close with you and since he's so incredibly clingy and no one really likes him with his sultry and rude attitude he always has around others, your social contacts begin to wither away. He's openly mentally unstable and very toxic to the point where everyone around him notices. Yet no one is able to reason with him and make him listen. Not his pack, not his alpha and not even his own father. If Bella tries to help him? That'll just end in a disaster as he has lost all sympathy for her.

From all shape-shifters, Jacob is also the one who uses guilt-tripping and emotional blackmailing the most without shame. Leah uses emotional blackmail sometimes too but not nearly as much as Jacob does. As soon as you start going against him and question the undeniable control he wants to have over your life to feel a little bit more secure, he's always resorting to it. Whether it's him justifying it all with the imprint bond or blaming Bella for having broken his heart previously and having made him this way, he does everything to take your mind elsewhere and stop you from protesting, stop you from leaving him. He can lose his cool for a moment and start shouting at you if you prove to be stubborn although at this point he has probably already started crying in hopes that tears will tug at your heartstrings. There's a point where he snaps though and that's probably when he's just unnerving as he threatens to hurt himself if you try to leave him. Do you want to risk it? I can tell you that he'll definitely start neglecting taking care of himself until you come back to him.

[fizzigigsimmer]

This is my contribution to the Harringrove Relay Race

There's no following @bigdumbbambieyes but take this humble offering.

The Best You (Never) Had

written for @harringrove-relay-race

Rating: M

Pairing: Steve x Billy with a heavy dose of angst.

I was charmed and instantly driven insane by the absolutely bomb Harringrove playboy bunnies drawn by @adelacreations, and it inspired me to wonder about a trans femme Billy, running into her past at a strip club.

Enjoy the adventures of Bunny Hargrove.

And stay on the look out for what @robthegoodfellow has coming up!

When Billie left Hawkins she hadn’t looked to her future and seen herself working at a strip club. She certainly hadn’t foreseen the possibility of having to serve her high-school bully cheap food and lousy drinks in one once she’d made it back to Cali. But that’s exactly what seems to be in store for her – fuck her life.  

Five men occupy the half moon booth and table reserved mostly for bachelor parties and the occasional VIP. Billie’s coworker Amanda has been serving them food and drinks while they enjoy the sets of dancers on stage, but her wait shift is ending and Billie’s prepping to take over – tuning out the other woman as she complains about one of the men grabbing at her ass and being a poor tipper. 

It seems impossible, but somehow it’s happening. Steve Harrington is sitting right there, watching Lacey wiggle her ass in red spandex to a Katy Perry song.   

It’s been going on fifteen years, but Billie would recognize him anywhere. Same slouch to the shoulders and dreamy eyed stare – neither Lacey’s wild gyrations nor the conversation of the group he’s with enough to hold his full attention. Same stupid hair, although he’s changed the shape since high school. Now it’s held securely to one side by too much gel, and she just wants to break it up with her fingers. His laugh still doesn’t reach his eyes, and it probably says a lot about Billie, that some part of her is relieved to see that.  

Her rent might be too high, her boss might be a creep, and her ex is still full of shit, but Steve Harrington is still hanging around with guys like Tommy and faking a smile, so it balances the scales. 

He’s still gorgeous too, fuck him. Billie swallows and forces herself to look away, and not run away like the frantic beating of her heart suggests that she should. She’s got nothing to hide, and she’s not ashamed.  

There’s no reason at all she shouldn’t saunter right over to the table with the bachelor party Amanda was gracious enough to split with her (knowing all about her rent worries) and flirt her way to another month of financial security; except for the fact that even in this day and age, certain people still get funny about people like her and Billie knows these guys. 

Or rather, they knew her before – before she got out of Neil’s house, before freedom, before Billie. 

There’s no reason at all she shouldn’t go over there and take that table full of drunk losers, eager to blow their cash on the club's cheap booze and dancing girls, for all that they’re worth. Nothing besides fear. 

Fuck that. 

The group is laughing loudly about something as Billie saunters up, one last swarm of butterflies taking flight in her belly as Hagen turns his neck to squint blearily at her.  

God, that stupid smirk hasn’t changed a bit – wide and dopey like the dog he is, and mean in the eyes.  Those beetle browns look her over just like they did on her first day in Hawkins, assessing for strengths and weaknesses to exploit; and for a moment she remembers the terror of being under that gaze and all the others like it. The fear of being caught out consuming her, choking her, day after day. 

Sorry kid. Billie thinks to herself with a sway of her hips, right before parking herself up against the arm of the leather couch, warm skin brushing the sleeve on Tommy’s shoulder. The way that his lips part unconsciously as he gawks at her doesn’t make up for the past, but it still feels damn good. She’s a bad bitch and she knows it. Knew it back then but now she can show it and will kick ass if Tommy or any of his buddies decide they have a problem with it. 

But it’s not recognition of any kind on any of their faces, it’s lust. They leer at the shiny shorts that hug her thighs and the plunging neckline of her tiny top – her employer's idea of a uniform. Whatever vindication she feels on behalf of her pitiful high school self, she doesn’t actually care anymore what Tommy and the clones think. 

Billie finds her eyes going to Steve like they’re magnetized.  

She shouldn’t care what Harrington thinks either, and yet, there’s a stupid flutter in her chest (damn it) when Steve looks her over, eyes lingering just a hair too long on her chest to be anything other than interested, before he meets her eye. 

“Hey beautiful.” He leans forward a little, totally present now like he wasn’t before dripping charm he obviously learned in some board room working for daddy. And yet, there’s still some part of Billie that expects to wake up in bed back in the house on Cherry Street.  

“What’s your name?” Steve Harrington is definitely asking, her, like it’s just a pre-courser to getting her naked, and Billie shivers. Fuck is she doing this? 

“Hi Bambi, I’m Bunny.” She teases. Sees the line in the sand and walks right over it. Tommy howls like some chick likening his buddy to a baby deer is the most hilarious shit, and it sets the others off, oohing and ahhing and generally acting like fools as they rib Harrington. 

But Steve ignores them, and the way he jolts a little when he hears that name, eyes narrowing on her in wary confusion, goes straight to her clit. Shit. One of these days her hard on for danger is gonna get her killed. But today it’s got her heart thumping and her pussy dripping as she clenches around nothing, like he’s already sliding inside where she obviously still wants him. She needs better taste in men. She’s sure her mama would have said she gets her poor taste from her if she’d stuck around long enough while Billie was growing up. 

“I’m a sucker for big pretty brown eyes.” She winks at him, sugar sweet and he seems to settle a little. “Can I get you another round of drinks, or are you in the mood for something better?” 

“Bunny.” He ignores the question to turn her show name over on his tongue, slow and curious like he’s tasting it. “Are you on tonight?” He asks, gaze twitching toward the stage and back. 

“You calling me a stripper Bambi?” 

“It is a strip club, and with a name like Bunny.” 

Billie laughs and Steve’s mouth slides into a satisfied smirk, like that was always the end goal. Tommy rolls his eyes and pouts like an overgrown toddler, “Didn’t you date a chick named Trixie?” 

“Yeah. So?” Steve drawls in reply, his focus momentarily shifting from Billie and back to Tommy, which if Billie’s memory serves, is exactly how Tommy likes it. 

This is a bad idea. Such a bad idea. God, Hagen really hasn’t changed, but neither has Steve. Those dry little dig and the arch of his eyebrows are so familiar she feels a strange sort of relief. Like there was something inside her that had been counting down since the last time she saw him, afraid that he’d change and become lost to memory. 

Fuck. That sounds – it’s not, what it sounds. 

“So, you can’t tell a stripper by their name is all I’m saying.” 

“Dude, are you serious? I met Trixie because you paid for her to show up at my apartment dressed like a police officer and give me a lap dance on my birthday.” 

Now there’s an idea, Billie thinks as Tommy, remembering the incident, smiles sheepishly.  

“I’m not dancing tonight, no.” Billie finally answers his question, pulling Steve’s attention back and a shiver goes down her spine when his eyes snap to her. “But I wouldn’t say no to tying you up and having my way with you, Pretty Boy.” 

She doesn’t have to wonder if Steve remembers her the way she remembers him. If the words Billie had said and the insults, she’d flung had burrowed under his skin to live with him the same way Billie lives with his.  

Steve flinches, his eyes narrowing sharply on her, and it’s barely perceptible but she catches it before he’s being nudged at and jostled from both sides by his buddies as they hoot and holler about how he’s been chosen.  

He never stops looking at her. 

The only one who doesn’t seem absolutely thrilled for him to get picked up by some babe in a seedy strip club in Santa Monica is Tommy, who grumbles something about the attention being wasted on Steve. 

For the first time Billie wonders if he might be the bachelor about to get hitched – and she’s the one to flinch this time, as her eyes dart down to his hand. The ring finger is empty, which doesn’t really prove anything, but the pale strip of skin she finds there tells its own story.  

Divorced? Long engagement? Married already perhaps and out to prove the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree? Fuck she hopes it’s not the last one. Not because it would change anything for her. Maybe it would, if she were a nicer person, but she’s not the married one, and if she started splitting hairs about fooling around with married men her tip jar would be a whole lot emptier each month. 

No. She just plain doesn’t want him to be attached. The thought makes her chest twist up inside and the bottom of her stomach feel like it’s going to fall right out her ass – the same fucked up emotional constipation she’d felt watching him run through the female population of Hawkins High like he was trying to make them all forget they’d watched Nancy Wheeler take his balls and then make an absolute fool of him.  

“Thanks for the offer, Bunny -” Steve starts, and she can hear the butt coming as clear as the others can if the sudden swell of groans is anything to go by. 

“Harrington! Come on man.” 

“Boo!” 

“See what I mean? That’s a fucking ten right there, and you’re going to blow it over some bitch who doesn’t even want you?!” Screeches Tommy. 

Bingo. Thank you, Tommy, with the big mouth. So, it’s divorced. Separated but still holding on to the past – just like old times. 

It makes her smile a little mean as she leans toward him, holding his gaze, purrs - “You scared, Bambi? Worried I might break you?” 

Steve clamps his mouth shut. His eyes blaze at her and her throat goes dry. 

“Oh ho! Careful now darlin, our Stevie boys got a pretty big ego. You might not want to poke that bull if you’re not ready for the ride.” One of the bros says with the kind of glint in his eye that says he lives for ‘big egos’ putting little women like her into place. Fucking prick. 

Steve seems to think so too because he mutters, “Shuttup Andy” as he reaches in his pocket for his wallet. 

“How much?” he asks her, sounding bored. It’s bullshit. Billie licks her lip in triumph. 

“Fifty for a lap dance here at the table, fifty more if you want to see some tit.”  

“How much for a private show?” 

Her breath hitches, her stomach tightening in her eagerness, but somehow, she keeps the breath out of her tone as she replies. 

“Depends on what you want to see.” She answers, and without so much as a pause Harrington smiles – challenges. 

“Everything.” 

Fuck. She’s doing this. 

She’s not delusional enough to think that fucking him is going to heal her inner child or whatever, and while she firmly believes she doesn’t owe every one night stand a complete rundown of her medical history, she’s fully aware of how this is different – of what the upstanding thing to do would be. 

But then Billie remembers the way Steve had started pushing back after their fight that strange night at the Byers house; the way he’d swooped in and pulled the rug out from under her – reclaiming his spot as top dog, just by existing. No begging. No apologies. He just opened the doors to that mansion he lived in and rang the bell, and Tommy and the rest had come looking for supper.  

She remembers the cruel things he said to her as he flaunted his big house and fancy car, rubbing in how quickly it was over once he made it a real contest; because however shiny and new Billie had been to those kids, she was still just trash under it all. Angry white trash going nowhere fast, while Steve was Mr. Somebody. Once he’d pulled his head out of Wheeler’s ass and remembered it, he’d made turning the school against Billie his new focus.  

Pushed further and further to the fringes, Billie’s only choice to keep the jackals at bay had been to fight them off until people got the message and started avoiding her altogether.  

She’s not claiming victim. She knows damn well who started the fight – that it was her own demons that drove her to lash out and try and prove her dominance over him – and that after that night at the Byers, Steve had especially no reason to take mercy on her. 

But just because she’d asked for the fight doesn’t mean taking a beating hadn’t nearly pushed her to the edge. 

Billie swallows back the taste of bitterness in her mouth, from the memory of being alone, broken and desperate, aching to be near someone who loathed her and yearning for the looks he gave so easily to other girls. 

Except now he is – King Steve – looking at Billie Hargrove like he wants her. Like he’d empty out his wallet and spend all of that nepo baby salary just for the chance to get at her; and like hell is she going to turn it away. Revenge couldn’t get sweeter than this. The only thing that could make it better is if he knew. It’s me on your mind. Me you can’t ignore. Me you can’t walk away from. 

But it’s just a fantasy. The reality him recognizing her now or later has her swinging from vicious jubilation toward mind numbing panic on a dime. 

Regardless - Steve Harrington stands up, ignoring the cheers of his drunk friends, eyes locked with hers – and Billie Hargrove makes her own choices. 

Billie is going to ride Steve until he sees God, hollowed be her name. Because she wants him (still) and he finally wants her. Just for once. That’s all she needs.  

She can worry about the aftermath after. 

[bannanasrus]

Halloween Special (Blake and Cecil)

I really wanted to do a Halloween Special with these two idiots so here we are, Blake and Cecil go to a Halloween party and spooky vore related shenanigans (as well as really over the top silliness) occur

Contains M/M safe vore, belching, body worship, belly worship, silliness ect. Mention of M/M fatal vore

“Blake” called Cecil from the bathroom as he fixed his cape around his bulging shoulder “We need to leave, soonish”

“I’ll follow on after you” called Blake from their bedroom “I just need to put some finishing touches on my costume”

“Are you sure you’ll be ok making your own way down there”

“I’m perfectly sure” replied Blake “I’m more worried about you catching a cold in your costume”

“I’ll be fine” Cecil replied flexing his biceps in the mirror, hell yeah he was big, bigger than he had been before, he placed a hand on his thickened abs, Blake had knocked some assholes out who’d been bothering him on his way home from work and proceeded to feed them to Cecil. Blake had then sat on his lap and rubbed his distended gut until they were sludge being pumped around his body to make him even more huge. Blake was so very, very into his boyfriends size and his boyfriends muscles, in fact when he saw the costume that Cecil had decided on for the party (Hercules), Cecil could not help but see the slight look of what might have been termed pre-emptive jealousy, in his eyes. Sure the Hercules costume didn’t exactly leave much to the imagination, but Blake didn’t need to be jealous.

“If you’re sure… I’ll see you later, at Elsie’s”

“Make sure you get there safe - Love you”

“Love you too” Blake called back, the fondness in his voice setting Cecil back at ease.

He arrived at Elsie’s House which sat in the shadow of a large and ornate building. Her house was surprisingly cheap to buy, largely owing to rumours of it being haunted. Elsie, had immediately jumped on it, and to be perfectly honest the ghosts would need to be a bit more worried about Elsie than Elsie needing to be worried about them.

Cecil went up to the door and pulled on the chain, there was the sounds of feet and Elsie opened the door “Cecil Darling” she said as Cecil pulled her into a hug

“How are you” he asked

“I’m good I’m good, halloween’s my favourite time of year you know” she said cheerily. Unsurprising Cecil thought to himself - Elsie always loved the weird and wonderful - she was also a literal witch so that definitely contributed to it. No one had anything to fear from Elsie, unless they provoked her, or happened to be low flying aircraft. If Elsie’s boyfriend wasn’t already un-dead he might possibly end up dying again from the sheer panic of how terrible she was at flying her broomstick. “And how about you” she asked “and where’s your cute little cat” she said looking over Cecil’s shoulder

“I’m great” said Cecil “and I’m assuming you’re talking about Blake - he said he’d follow along”

“Well I hope he makes it here safely” said Elsie as she lead Cecil down the hallway and into the main room “Oh and we’re having some entertainment later”

“oh what kind”

“Oh well I can’t spoil it, but it’ll be great fun” said Elsie

Cecil circulated round the couples and singletons alike at the party, there was a fairly good mix some from the university some from the gym - still in gym clothes - his attention was however drawn by the elderly lady in the corner of the drawing room.

Done up like every stereotypical fortune teller, bangles dripping from her wrists, her hair curly and grey, covered by a long veil, shawls, long and flowing draped around her arms. She looked, Cecil felt like she belonged in a novel, or on a stage, but here she was in front of him reading fortunes of those who came by her table.

“Cecil” came her voice

“Sorry” he said “wait how do you know my name”

“I know everything” she said as he approached her. “It is my business to know” she gestured to her tarot cards and her crystal ball “for instance, you have a boyfriend named Blake, who works in Wrightman and associates and Wrightman - don’t forget about Wrightman”

“How on earth do you know that” said Blake

“Like I say it’s my business to know, but in this case I must claim that I would be predisposed to have such information”

“How?”

“I used to work at Wrightman and Associates and Wrightman don’t forget about Wrightman”

“It is a bit of a mouthful” said Cecil

“It is”

“Any idea why it’s called that”

“I think it was a typo” said the fortune teller

“Can you tell that from your crystal ball” asked Cecil

The fortune teller passed her hands across the object it question

“It was” she replied

“Ha” said Cecil as he sat opposite the fortune teller he noted that her eyes studied him scrupulously

“Do you not hold true the art of Scrying?” She asked

“Well” said Cecil “I suppose that I can be persuaded, though I hardly think it is possible to gaze into a crystal ball and see the future, like it’s a movie”

“Perhaps, but it is not to see the future as a movie that I scry, rather-more it is to see what possibly might happen”

“Do you mean you can see possibly futures?”asked Cecil

“I divine information from a variety of sources, take the rune stones when one is found face up the meaning of that stone takes its course, when found lying reversed…”

“the reverse occurs”

“Yes, perhaps, or perhaps the wrong question was asked”

“Forgive me but this seems to obfuscate the truth”

“which is what”

“That you seem to be a very observant woman who observes everything about someone before spookily telling them their fortune, in a sense you are a fortune teller who can see into the future and devine information but, I can’t see you doing it through supernatural means.”

“Indeed, well I do pride myself upon observation. But how about I tell you some things that I couldn’t possibly know”

“For instance?”

“The fact that you are concerned - mildly, for you know he has no reason to be - that your boyfriend is a bit jealous of you walking around in such a revealing outfit. He also might well be a little, though he knows equally that your heart and his heart are in each-others hands - and yes, I do see that he might…”

“How on earth do you know that” asked Cecil, “are you Martha?” He said very confused

“No my dear, Martha Oldcapple is a very sceptical person” said the fortune teller, “and in any case, how would Martha Oldcapple know about you fearing Blake was a bit jealous?”

He moved backwards as the Fortune Teller continued “Nothing escapes the Great Griselda” said Griselda spreading her arms wide “she sees all she knows all” she smiled in a grandmotherly fashion “would you like me to read your tea leaves dear?”

Somewhat later Elsie had dragged Cecil from a conversation he’d been having, to bring him to a back room of the house. The room had been turned into a temporary intimate theatre, staging had been set up and various mismatched chairs had been pulled to face the stage.

“I take it this is tonight’s entertainment?” Asked Cecil

“Yes” said Elsie cheerfully as more people filed into the room

“Is it everyone at the party?” Asked Cecil

“Not quite” said Elsie

“Huh”

“Oh just wait and see” said Elsie skipping away

The lights in the room dimmed and Cecil looked up at the makeshift stage as on to it came a number of people dressed in costumes, all were fairly skimpy, they danced honestly quite excellently and Cecil was enjoying himself until he suddenly realised that he hadn’t seen Blake since he left their flat. Blake was supposed to meet him here wasn’t he?

He looked back up on the stage as a third figure entered, small slight and wearing cat ears and a cat tail. Dark haired and grinning.

It was Blake, the feline in him being exemplified by his movements and of course the Cheshire Cat smile he had on his face, he blew kisses to the audience stopping at Cecil to give him a wink.

Oh you little brat thought Cecil to himself grinning genuinely impressed at Blake’s makeup and costume skills.

“Hello all you big handsome Gentlemen and Big Beautiful Ladies” called Blake from the stage, for being small Blake had a voice that carried “This man really wants a place to spend the night of all hallows eve in, after all tonight is when the spooks come out, and I don’t mind telling you, I’m scared to death!” He made an exaggerated gesture to raucous laughter.

“But I am not choosing just anybody” he said smiling “Whoever I chose needs to be able to be my hero”

A piano began to play in the corner of the room, as Cecil turned to look it was played by Elsie

“Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods” began Blake dramatically passing his hand through his hair as he said the Hercules he winked at Cecil

Is he dancing in heels thought cecil as he realised the couple of inches of heel Blake had on his boot, he also noticed with some mild jealousy that Blake was flirting playfully through the song with a slender man with Sandy hair in the front row dressed in Ripped jeans as a cowboy. Then with a Bulky Man in the back row with Red hair dressed as some random horror movie character Cecil was pretty sure, he hated horror movies, but besides that, both looked like they wanted to devour Blake then and there and were practically out of their seats. Blake turned on the second “Larger than life” looking directly at Cecil and grinning again, challengingly Oh thought Cecil to himself that’s his game is it? Well if he wants to play the flirt to make me jealous, he’s got me jealous.

Cecil rose from his seat even as the two other men did the same hurrying to the base of the stage, he had no idea what was in his mind but whatever it was it excited Blake as he only continued to get more and more dramatic and flirtatious as the song, fabulously sung, came to its finale. As Blake delivered the Final “I need a hero” a few things happened number one the ginger man and the Sandy haired man both practically leapt for Blake and Blake who had done a spin on his last line overbalanced and toppled off the stage, right as Cecil stuck out his arms and caught him.

Blake breathed s steady sigh of relief and then, looking up into Cecil’s face brushed his hand along his jaw and smirked.

“Ladies and Gentlemen I hope you are good losers cause this man, this gorgeous hunk just won the right to eat me up tonight”

“Hey” said the Sandy Haired man “that’s not fair”

“Not it’s not” grumbled the red-head

“And I thought you were a primadona” said Blake

“Watch your tone Prey” snarled the Sandy Haired man

“Or what” said Blake smiling

He didn’t wait for an answer lunging for Blake instead, for his trouble Cecil promptly kicked him in the groin The red-headed man possibly sensing that he maybe shouldn’t be bothering either of them scarpered.

Blake and Cecil then headed out of the room Blake smiling gently up at Cecil the whole time. His cuteness and feline qualities only being exacerbated by his costume.

That soon changed into a frown when both became aware of the sight of a small man dressed in a tight fitting all black costume who stomped up to them and scowled up at Cecil

“Oh so you’re here with your boy-toy” he said glaring daggers at Blake though his question was addressed to Cecil

“Oh for goodness sake” groaned Blake hating the antics of Cecil’s Ex

“What do you want Beau” asked Cecil

“My name is Jett” snapped Jett

“Of course it is”

“Did you forget my name?”

“Well you wanted to be treated as food and food doesn’t need a name” replied Cecil, this might have been intimidating for someone who was normal but I am sure you’ve gathered that Jett wasn’t really normal

“Hmmmmph, I’m sure that he wants to stay with you outside your gut”

“Yes, but he also doesn't mind spending time inside it”

“Argh” snapped the angry little man again “I don’t get it, I would have been the perfect protein meal why did you never eat me?”

“Because against all conceivable logic I cared for you, even now I wouldn’t do that to you, I don’t eat friends or Boyfriends unless they ask me to”

Possibly out of frustration Jett made a swing at Blake who smirking swung back knocking into Jett’s jaw.

“That’s enough” came Elsie’s voice

“Come on you’ve had your fun” said Ezra Elsie’s Undead boyfriend who carried Jett out of the front door of the house

“I apologise for any Trouble Elsie” said Cecil

“No need to apologise” said Elsie smiling “I’m just Glad that the Plan worked out”

“What plan?”

“That little show, Blake wanted to do it for you as well as the little competition for who would eat him up tonight”

“Kind of an unfair one since I already decided the winner” said Blake

“Top of the stairs on the left down to the bottom of the corridor,” said Elsie

“Is what” asked Cecil

“Your room for the night silly” she said smiling

“Thank you, thank you so much, but-”

“No need to thank me” said Elsie “just enjoy yourself, its a nice and quiet room”

The two of them got up to the room and sat on the bed. Blake sat in Cecil’s lap.

“Blake”

“Yes Darling” said Blake

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Fire away”

“Were you jealous”

“Jealous of you having your muscles out for all the world to see”

“Yes I suppose I was a bit worried and then the great Griselda told me you might be Jealous”

“I don’t know who she is” said Blake “I suppose I’m not so much jealous as a bit possessive, I know I don’t have to worry but like, whenever I see you talk to Prey guys, I suppose I feel a bit like you do when I’m around Preds, like you’re mine stay right beside me”

“I guess I was quite jealous when you were flirting with those guys”

“I know, but I also know I don’t have a reason to be jealous whenever you spend time around other prey guys,” he smiled again “Besides I get to touch kiss and worship your muscles and they don’t get to do all that and don’t worry about me flirting with preds, I’m all yourst”

Cecil gently bit on Blake’s ear “Mmmm all mine”

“Oh yes, you were going to be getting your rewards for being my hero” said Blake grinning “Well first things first I and you have to get out of these clothes”

Quickly they began throwing off their clothes it didn’t take much for Cecil to get down to his underwear but for Blake it took a bit longer and thus he gave Cecil a bit of a show as he stripped off his top and moved to his high heeled boots.

“I gotta say” said Cecil as Blake deliberately turned round to show his ass to him “Those boots make your ass look fantastic”

“You really are a gem” said Blake

“You danced fantastically in them” said Cecil grinning

“Thank you” Said Blake “Though would you believe it, I nearly fell over multiple times when I first put them on!”

“I am not surprised” said Cecil “Though knowing how clumsy I am I would have fallen over even more”.

Blake fell atop of Cecil (deliberately this time) running his hands all over Cecil’s massive body. “You are so hot” he said massaging Cecil’s pecs and his Biceps

“It’s all for you to admire” groaned Cecil as Blakes hands gripped his thighs and quickly kissed his way down his torso

Cecil for his part also felt up his meal who was groaning at the feeling of his hands everywhere on his frame and eventually they broke appart.

“You are still sure you want to do this tonight?” asked Cecil

“As long as I get let out yes” said Blake kissing him

“Good” and then Blake became engulfed by his massive boyfriend whose Jaws opened wide to swallow his Boyfriends slender form down his gullet and into his stomach, a safe spot to spend the night.

“OUUUUUURRRRRRRRP” Belched Cecil feeling the meal he had consumed settling into his gut

His distended belly left him beached on the bed, but it wasn’t like his other meals and another massive “UUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRP” erupted from him. As with every time he ate Blake, it was a different feeling of being stretched out, this time it was a glutenous sated fullness. Blake curled in his bed for the night and Yawned

“Good night”

“Good-UUURRRRRP -night” belched Cecil rubbing his distended gut with both hands “You always fill me OURRRRRRRRRRRRPP - out so URRRRRRRRRRRRRP” well

His massive gut was gently massaging it’s guest for the night, not in the way in which it might normally have done for any of his other meals that were being sent on a one way trip, but rather gently and carefully. Blake was willing Prey, but more importantly, Cecil adored him and his body knew to be gentle and caring with this Prey in particular.

Cecil Lay back letting Sleep overtake him “Sleep URRRRRRRRRRP well my favourite meal” he said to his stomach. “OUURRRRRRRRRP, let my BOOOOOOOOOOOURRRRRRRRRRRP belly take goood URRRRRRRRP” care of you

“I love you Cecil” murmured Blake Quietly pressing a hand to the stomach wall

“I love you too Blake” said Cecil hiccupping and burping slightly.

Epilogue.

After rising in the morning and regurgitating Blake. Cecil and Blake went to Elsie to see if there was anything they could do to help her tidy up.

“You are very kind, but you need not worry” said Elsie “I’ve got everything under Control”

“I feel kind of bad, though said Cecil, like I’ve taken advantage of your hospitality”

“Good Gracious no, Blake provided the entertainment last night, and he wouldn’t have done that without you, and you helped rid the house of some very annoying house guests - so you absolutely are fine”

“Well I should probably go and thank the Great Griselda she was a very interesting lady and I wanted to talk to her again”

“The great Griselda?” asked Elsie confused

“Yes she did fortune telling last night” said Cecil “She had a Crystal ball and all”

“The only person who told fortunes last night was my Cousin Effie” said Elsie

“But she was there” said Cecil pointing to where her booth was to find no booth or even someone taking down a booth, but merely some glitter on the floor and a note written on blue paper he read it.

Many thanks for an interesting conversation, you have something special with your boyfriend. Treat him well and good things will come to you. You’re a lovely young man with a good kind heart so I know it won’t be hard, oh and say to Elsie thank you for the space to perform again and remind her to visit her aunty in Much Benning

The Great Griselda.

“How mysterious” said Blake

“I suppose we all have a fairy godmother” Said Elsie Dreamily

“A fairy godmother - she was a fortune teller”

“Yes but I mean someone who looks out for us” said Elsie “It’s a nice thought isn’t it”

“I hope to meet her again and I can introduce Blake to her” said Cecil

“Perhaps you will have to wait until next Halloween” said Elsie smiling

“Or it could be sooner than you think” said Blake smiling up at his boyfriend

“Who knows” Murmured Griselda to herself as she watched the two men hug their friend and her boyfriend before heading off “One things for sure, that’s a couple that’s staying together, I don’t need my crystal ball to tell me that!” she laughed and then vanished in a puff of smoke.

I wish you a spooky happy Halloween may all your nights escapades go off safely and fun-ly and I will see you with another tale at some point in the future xxx

[exo-raskreia]

what do you have to say about when ichigo was fighting grimmjow and was getting beaten up but he won bc of orihime pleas and cries? im not saying ichiruki is bad bc it is true you could say they have more time together (and emotions, feelings) but i think you can't deny either that ichigo won against grimmjow bc of orihime that time

Uh, what? You mean when she was scared of him & little Nel had to give her a push to cheer him on? 😒

Meanwhile, Rukia was never scared of him, never doubted him, & would've given him an encouraging speech right before he even started 😌.

I considered not answering this ask cuz it just sounds so... dumb.

But, I guess I can entertain this a bit...

Yeah, Ori contributed so much that Ichigo forgot to thank her, but he did thank little Nel.

Also, notice how he gave Nel AND Ori the same look 🫢

🤣

He's given the same look to his sisters too. Meanwhile, the way he looked at Rukia was so vastly different... 😩 Check out this post for example.

The funniest part is that the reason Ichigo fought Grimmjow in HM (and one of his main motivations to even go there—Ori getting kidnapped was the excuse he needed) was because he had a personal vendetta against him for hurting Rukia. But, Ichigo was in denial & claimed he only came to save Inoue until Grimmjow called him out on it.

It's basically like:

Whoa, what? 👀

You're onto something...

Hmm...

Ah, so it's true! 👀

This screenshot with the bonus databook info from this amazing post, though 👀:

I also think it's funny how he asked her to heal him before the fight. He didn't face her directly & basically came off as: "Just heal me already." 🤭

Ori simply did the bare minimum in cheering for a friend risking their life. Anyone else in her place doing the same would have given some encouragement to Ichigo (I remember being so annoyed at her for fearing him while he was fighting the enemy. When she finally snapped out of it, I was like, "About time." 🙄).

(Btw, there is an interesting interpretation of Ichigo's reaction to Ori's words here. What she said may not have been the words Ichigo needed nor wanted to hear...)

You might think after this, Ori would have finally started to develop; if Kub0 had wanted, IH could have started to get somewhere... but what happened later at the dome & then the Fullbring arc told us otherwise (what happened at the dome should've solidified for everyone that IH do NOT work together & bring out the WORST in each other 🤷‍♀️). Ori did not learn a single thing... she even got worse in TYBW...

(This post pokes fun at this part 🤪)

You think this is what Ichigo needed to hear at such a crucial moment?! Rukia would've never said such a thing! 😤

There's an interesting IR post here about Ichigo's potential love language being Words of Affirmation. And Rukia was the perfect person to fill his little love tank; her words always meant so much to him 💞.

Also, canonically, Ichigo spent more time around Ori's vicinity than Rukia's, & yet they couldn't develop any special bond. Ichigo spent 17 months without Rukia, but him & Ori still. didn't. get. anywhere. Ori had no development from her experience in HM & was still pathetically simping over Ichigo while he was none the wiser (and couldn't care less) 🙄.

Anyway, even if Ori had contributed greatly to the Grimmjow fight, wasn't it nice of her to help Ichigo avenge another girl? 😊