#i fear that i might have contributed to this a bit too much

[dropthedemiurge]

i suddenly have a small wave of new followers who don't feel like bots for some reason

.... is that reddit x tumblr humanization post making rounds on this hellsite again?xD

[kitchensinksurrealism]

listening to my february-june 2022 playlist which led to ⬇️

[writers-potion]

Writing Mad Characters

Okay this is a bit awkward because I had this question copypasted into Google Docs I use to draft my answers, and I realized I've lost the question in my inbox (which is being flooded).

So...I'm so sorry for whoever asked this question. Sorry for the delay because I was struggling with life in general for the past month and definitely SORRY for losing your question (－‸ლ)

Q: I'm writing a story where a major character is slowly spiraling into madness where small details kinda hint into the downfall right before the bigger details appear and then it the floodgates open. Is there anything I should avoid? Anything that I should keep in mind? Anything that I should research?

Things to Avoid

“Mad” or “Insane” is too general. Writing a cliched ‘crazy’ character who randomly talks to imaginary people and lashes out at strangers, you���ll offend a whole bunch of people who've gone through/have mental illnesses. Read up on existing mental conditions (schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic disorder and borderline personality disorder, etc.) to see what your character might have. 

Words like “mad” “crazy” or “insane” aren’t enough when you’re describing their status. As mentioned, these words hardly mean much when it comes to providing a clear description.

Contradicting yourself. Throwing random unhinged symptoms here and there wouldn’t work. In fact, you must have a clear arc on which they’re traveling and ensure that your “hints” are all getting at something.

Making the character overly destructive or harmful to others (when nothing really justifies it)

Justifying damaging behavior with this “madness”. Mad or not, your character will still have motives and goals that drive them forward. 

Making them look incompetent just the fact that they have a mental condition that makes them appear “mad” to others shouldn’t prevent them from achieving success. In fact, they may be even more cool-hearted and logical when it comes to their obsessions/goals. 

Research Tips

Narrow down the mental conditions your character experiences. Even if it’s a fictional condition, try basing it on existing ones and building on top of them. 

Take some time to study characters and/or real clinical cases that resemble the kind of madness you’re going for. 

- Anxiety Disorders: excessive fear and dread (ex. phobias) - Mood Disorders: persistent swings in mood or persistent feelings that interfere with daily life (ex. Depression, bipolar) - Psychotic Disorders: disordered thinking (ex. schizophrenia) - Eating Disorders: extreme emotional attitudes toward food (ex. Bulimia, anorexia) - Impulse Disorders: unable to resist urges (ex. Kleptomania, pyromania, gambling) - Personality Disorders: extreme inflexible personality traits (ex. Anti-social disorder, OCPD) - Past Traumatic Stress: persistent, frightening memories leading to emotional numbness 

Does your character have empathy?  

A sociopathic kind of madness is different. 

General Writing Tips for Spiraling into Madness

Establish a Baseline 

A lot of factors (stress, family history, innate personality, trauma, etc.) can contribute to madness, but it is not going to happen in a week. Define the existing mental and physical conditions your character has, and start from there. 

If you’re aiming for suicidal tendencies at the end, you want to start with symptoms of depression (a condition that may lead to suicide) - growing apathetic, erratic sleeping patterns, irritability, etc. 

This is also the stage where you want to plant some triggers that’ll go off later.

Trigger Events

A perfectly sound character suddenly spiraling down the madness route due to a single accident or traumatizing event isn’t convincing. 

A madness “snap” denies the reader the experience of watching the character’s journey into madness and how they feel about it. 

Internal Conflict (antagonist in himself) 

You must remember that madness is incurable. If someone could “cure” themselves by eating healthy, exercising and taking a few pills, it wouldn’t be much of a madness, would it? This means that the worst antagonist is going to be the character themselves, or the part of them that’s been taken away. 

Show how they are frustrated with themselves, scared of themselves, angry at their “alternative self”. The experience of not knowing yourself is a whole journey of its own.

Physical Manifestations/Quirks

If your character has a routine, show how they break down. 

They might develop habits that they otherwise would never allow themselves to have, perhaps as an effort to “keep this madness out”

Deteriorating Relationships

Depict how the character’s madness impacts his closed/loved ones. In the earlier stages, those close to him might be faster to notice and accept the signs of madness, even if the character denies it him/herself.

The first signs of madness might show when the character is trying to deal with difficult relationships - like losing patience and being unable to pick up subtle social clues.

Choosing Obsessions Over Primal Urges 

For these characters, obsession can take over a person’s normal urge to eat, sleep or even live. This can lead to, more or less, suicide. 

Example: In Black Swan, Nina’s obsession with becoming the perfect ballerina drive her to insanity, to the point where she doesn't mind dying on stage for the show.

[signanothername]

I– I need to ask.

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?? Like, share your thoughts with everyone. Because I've been working on my universe for about three years now, AND I STILL FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT READY. At the same time, I’m still afraid to share these things...

So. How do you do it?D:

Alright my answer will seem a bit harsh and/or cruel, but know that I mean it in the most kind, genuine, and gentle way possible, i just don’t know how to word it any other way

With that in mind

Anon, you’re never going to be ready to share it, and the fear will always linger, you will never be 100% confident of what you share

And that’s ok

Again, I know that i make it seem super easy, but I promise that I’m just as afraid to share my ideas as anyone else (I’m a perfectionist, and that also contributes to my fear to share things)

It’s just, I think of it this way

I have an idea, and I got two choices

Either

1- I keep overthinking it, and succumb to my worries and fears when it comes to my idea, and keep my ideas with me, never to see the light of day

Or

2- I acknowledge that I’m afraid, acknowledge that my idea might not be perfect or ready, acknowledge that there might be flaws that I will probably notice later and even feel stupid about it, and still share my ideas anyway regardless of the voice in my head telling me to “wait a little more”

I usually go for choice number 2

The art and writing process is complicated, it’s so not easy to write something and feel ready to share it, no matter how much time it takes, you will never ever feel truly and utterly ready to share it, you’ll have that worry in your mind that maybe it’s stupid, or incomplete, or inconsistent or whatever else

And guess what? Sometimes, the worried voice in your head is completely right

But what matters is how you tackle it

Even if you share an idea, remember that you can always change your mind about it, you can absolutely go back and say, I don’t like that idea anymore and so I’ll remove/ change/ replace it

Ideas are never set in stone, you change and grow as a person as so do your ideas, they grow and change with you as you learn more and more, and sometimes they don’t, they don’t change at all, and that’s ok too

You can’t keep worrying about whether the story or idea you’re working on is ready or complete, because all you’re going to do is just walk around in circles and end up never sharing anything at all

It’s ok to be worried, but you can’t let your worries control you, of course, it’s not easy to ignore your worries, but it’s better than feeling stuck with your ideas

I myself do deal with these worries a lot, most of the time i just tell my brain “shut up” and share my ideas anyway, other times my worries do get the best of me and i tend to keep some ideas to myself

But sharing your ideas is actually essential for you to actually be able to work on them and refine them, because people might start asking questions or giving really good feedback that you actually sit with yourself to think about

But what if they ask you a question and you don’t know the answer to it? That’s actually a good thing, it’ll make you sit down and think of how to connect the dots and answer it, not only does it mean you’re actually making progress on your story/ideas, but these kinda questions help you understand different perspectives and by that, you learn and grow in your writing

It’s ok to be worried and to keep ideas to yourself sometimes, but don’t let them fester, because believe me, eventually your passion is gonna burn out because you kept overthinking it to the point it became just a worry than something you enjoy doing

In fact, to give you a bit of motivation, imma actually share one of the ideas I never shared cause I was afraid it’ll be a bit stupid and out of character

And I’m very worried about sharing it, but fuck my worry I do what I want

Remember when I mentioned Dream received one gift from Nightmare, and never received anything after? My idea for that gift was an echo flower he gave Dream, and it echoes one thing “I love you”

There, I shared it ouuughh the stress of sharing it is killing me actually, but I mean I can keep worrying about it forever, or actually share it and refine it later if I wanted, I choose the latter

And your ideas are never going to be perfect anyway, but you can improve them with time, even after sharing them

That’s all I do really shzggz

So go out there and start sharing anon, fuck anxiety, you can do whatever you want, you’re unstoppable

[mensahbots]

so much to love about these moments

a lovely depiction of romantic obsession as usual. i like that they were so explicit about it, not just the pain it causes gurathin, but also the element of unintentional entitlement that often accompanies infatuation. and i strongly feel gurathin would never say any of that out loud. the idea of openly expressing this desire, especially in mensah's presence, would likely be horrifying and devastating to him

relatedly, the dialogue in the lead-in to where i started the gifset was incredible. his view of the rest of the team, how he deeply cares about them yet does not view them as equals (he has a rather high view of himself, all things considered). but mensah? to him, his equal. his better.

murderbot line delivery, acting, and the impression we have of its discomfort (including with its own actions/the breach of gurathin's privacy) i think are also really excellent. i really liked the murderbot emotions in this episode in general

the team's reactions are really well-acted and shot. i love their discomfort and the sense of awareness they all seem to have about the situation. most of all i love pin-lee's expressions and response. i think there is some personal discomfort there, but i also wonder if they want to protect mensah or gurathin or both. i feel like tv pin-lee is pretty emotionally intelligent and compassionate about gurathin's situation, and obviously (if you've seen my other posts) i interpret them as pining pretty intensely for mensah themselves. so that makes their behavior in this scene that much more interesting for me

poor mensah... her discomfort and imo pain are so palpable. the acting is really beautiful. i think she deeply cares for gurathin and likely knows how he feels, but the idea that it has shaped his perception of her to this degree i can imagine is very painful, almost dehumanizing (to be the limerent object of someone you platonically love). and i feel like these are feelings that we don't get to see depicted in media a lot, so i really appreciated seeing that

and then moving to the post-mbot leaving bits... my god, this little moment was incredible. she's so much at her limit emotionally/stress-wise. and it's clear ratthi's behavior really frustrates her & has been frustrating her

but imo, she has likely been feeling complicatedly about how he treats pin-lee, too. she's the leader and seems to closely observe her team and try to soothe them in meaningful ways (i think best illustrated by how she interacts with pin-lee in episode 7), and i can't imagine she hasn't noticed things like him touching pin-lee while pin-lee looks visibly uncomfortable. i think there's a part of her, maybe subconsciously, which thinks, ratthi, pin-lee isn't your pet either

but the way the line is delivered, too... she is feeling things. maybe a repressed part of her is feeling, gurathin, i am not your pet

but the way the line is delivered, two (three?)... obviously, secunit is not their pet, full stop. she feels so strongly about that. seeing them speak/treat it like it belongs to them, like it's a prop, etc, is distressing for her and pushes her to this emotional extreme. and i think that's what's at the forefront of her mind, but it's possible the rest (the underlying emotions and frustrations and fears related to the interpersonal tensions she's witnessed and is involved in herself) might contribute to how strongly she feels they are wronging murderbot by regarding it like that. she is empathizing with it and likely feeling frustration she didn't intervene sooner and some kind of personal hurt (maybe including a sense of moral failure) that people are treating murderbot poorly

and speaking of, i think tv mensah has issues with boundaries (this is not to say that she totally lacks boundaries or behaves inappropriately, just that boundaries are not easy for her and she is not interpersonally perfectly healthy). we see she is somewhat people pleasing and has porous boundaries with gurathin. his actor has described it as a sort of codependent dynamic, which i think seems appropriate based on some of their early-season interactions. i think we can see the flipside of this in her interpersonal behavior with murderbot (the oversharing and seeming to need it to set explicit boundaries). i can imagine her boundary issues extends to her leadership style, especially given how some characters try to strongarm her and she often allows them to at least try. for example, pin-lee repeatedly shouts at her in the early episodes and mensah never explicitly expresses discomfort or sets boundaries about being treated that way (in front of the whole team, to boot!). so imo, she wasn't able to put her foot down about ratthi treated/spoke about murderbot earlier in the season, and now she feels strained/pushed to the point that she can. she needed to

their stunned reactions are so great. because they aren't completely shocked or horrified, but it's still clearly out of character for mensah. they know this matters to her, and they know she's been pushed to her limit. really incredible

and i really like knowing tv ratthi will definitely try to be/do better. his interiority in this episode was really cool to consider. i think there is a lot implied about the inside of his head

this episode makes the show's handling of gurathin and ratthi's interpersonal behavior (from a meta/writing level) work a lot better for me. i wasn't loving how it was framed, but this episode made it a lot more... i guess understandable. i found their behavior a bit triggering/activating (i have pretty bad ptsd. irl i get triggered being unexpectedly touched by men or having men raise their voices near me... it's an issue i'm working through but definitely colors how i take in live action media) so i am glad that there was some emotional payoff/meaningful interpersonal implications, and i assume there may be more

the juxtaposition of these scenes and the fact that they happen so close together i think is so fascinating and cool from a writing perspective

and i so love tv mensah. it is so great to see all these new elements going on around the character and to see her have such emotional depth. her emotional state in this episode is so complicated and well-executed

[ruru-me]

hiii! idk if this has been asked yet, but can i get more lore on the kids’ mothers & their relationships with the dads (strade, lawrence, rire, ren!) are the moms still alive in some cases or are they dead? i’m really interested to know! :3

Hey anon!

The answer to this may be a bit long, so I'll put it into topics and organize them from the best to the worst parental relationships :D

(also some images I found on Pinterest to illustrate cuz I find it funny)

REN

The best among them fr

Bro is living the dream with his children

Manipulative and overprotective at times but it's because he really fears that his babies will go through something like what he went through with Strade.

The mother is still alive (happily married, thank you).

She works as a programmer and ren is a relatively big streamer in the specific internet niche he works in (I leave it to your imagination what that might be)

All his children appreciate their father and love him

The cool dad all kids want to have (me too pls)

Strong emotional bond, he always knows if something is wrong with any of them

10/10

Lawrence

He's only before strade because his anxiety wouldn't let him forget to buy baby formula for violet

Honestly not the best father figure, but violet really likes their dad

Emotional dependence is the basis of it.

It's not healthy but neither of them seems to care

Violet's mother unfortunately died after an infection caused by Lawrence and his idea to remove her limbs.

Unpredictable some days, can be a caring father or an anxious mess (nothing in between)

CPA has certainly gone after violet

6/10

STRADE

More like a cool uncle who offers alcohol to minors than a father

no paternal sense, plus places no limits on the things Hertha does

Regarding their relationship, Hertha doesn't have a good impression of her father and Strade couldn't care less.

Strade shows "affection" by pampering her with everything she asks for (for him it's much more practical than being emotionally available)

One of the reasons Hertha actively tries to F strade when adult and shows no remorse about her actions

Her mother unfortunately took her own life when she was still young

She was probably the only person Hertha could empathize with and care about (genuinely)

5/10

RIRE

Self-explanatory image

The worst of them

He doesn't even think about trying to be a good father figure

Rire is the father who goes to buy cigarettes and disappears and magically appears again when you're an adult to ask you for a favor

Probably his only contribution was the names Severus and Linden

Their mother is alive and lives with them in a house (almost all Rire's proof)

The twins fear their father like the plague. They have no sentimental attachment to him and prefer to stay that way.

Not to be unfair, rire even showed up a few times to check on them (for some unknown reason) but the twins ran off as if they'd seen a monster.

Theoretically they did

-100/10

Ok that's all, hope I've answered ur question.

Feel free to send another (if u feel like)

*dies*

[callmedaleelah]

— Pinnacle [ tsukishima kei university au series ]

— and when i felt like i was an old cardigan ; tsukishima doesn’t know why he’s been thinking about you, about the time you got scolded by your mom at the parking lot—to be exact.

author’s notes : no mention of (y/n), written in second person pov, semi alternative universe, timeskip!tsukishima, college life, not proofread, english is not my first language

[ masterlist ] | [ ask daleelah go to box box 🐭 ]

The early morning chill was biting as Tsukishima and Yamaguchi started their practice. The university volleyball team had an intense session scheduled today, beginning with a few laps around campus as part of their physical strengthening routine. Tsukishima’s breath came out in visible puffs as he kept a steady pace, Yamaguchi running beside him.

“Have you sent her a message?” Yamaguchi asked, breaking the silence. Tsukishima didn’t need to ask who he was referring to.

“I told you, she said she’s on a holiday trip with her family,” Tsukishima replied, his mind flashing back to the conversation you had at the infirmary, where you adamantly refused to let the doctor give you permission to miss the exam because your mom has already planned a trip for your holiday.

Yamaguchi frowned, clearly not satisfied with that answer. “Yeah, but after seeing how her mother treated her, I bet she’s not enjoying any bit of that holiday.”

“That’s not for anyone to judge, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima said, though his tone lacked conviction.

The two fell into silence again. It had been two weeks since the day he saw your mother scolding you in the parking lot. The memory of you forcing yourself to drink six sachets of ginseng tonic just to satisfy her still haunted him. Despite the cold air, a wave of warmth and worry spread through his chest. He wanted to ask you if it was necessary, if you were having a good time on your holiday, if you were really okay—but he didn’t. He swallowed those worries, not wanting to intrude on something so personal.

Yamaguchi slowed his pace, glancing at his friend. “It’s for you to decide, but I know you’ve been worried about her since that day, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima’s pace faltered, his steps slowing as Yamaguchi continued ahead, leaving him standing still on the track. His heart thudded in his chest—not from the exertion, but from the flood of emotions he had been keeping at bay. He didn’t want to admit it, but Yamaguchi was right. The image of you, standing in the parking lot, looking so defeated, had been stuck in his mind. And the way your mother treated you… it reminded him too much of how he had treated you in the lab—demanding, critical, never satisfied. It made him feel guilty, like he had contributed to your burden.

He exhaled deeply, watching the breath escape from his lips in a puff of white. The morning practice was far from over, but Tsukishima felt as if he was running in circles, stuck between wanting to reach out to you and the fear of making things worse.

As he resumed his run, his mind kept drifting back to you, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe—just maybe—Yamaguchi was right. Maybe he should send that message after all.

After practice, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi walked together to get smoothies from Yamaguchi’s favorite store. The conversation was lighter now, shifting to the upcoming winter camp.

“The coach said we’ll have a nice winter camp in Okinawa in two days,” Yamaguchi said excitedly. “Can you believe it? Training on the beach, team bonding—it's going to be awesome.”

Tsukishima nodded, though his mind was elsewhere. “Yeah,”

They continued chatting as they waited in line, talking about the drills they’d do on the beach and the matches they might play against other teams during the camp. The excitement in Yamaguchi’s voice was contagious, and even Tsukishima felt a spark of anticipation for the camp.

When they finally took their orders and turned to leave the store, they stopped short—there you were, standing right behind them in line. You looked surprised and flustered to see them, and there was a brief moment of awkward silence.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were back from your holiday,” Yamaguchi said, breaking the silence with a cheerful grin.

Tsukishima’s eyes met yours, and he felt a rush of questions rise to his lips. He wanted to ask if you were okay, how the holiday had really been, if your mother had eased up on you—but he held back, simply watching you instead.

You smiled awkwardly and bowed your head politely to greet them as your seniors. “My holiday trip just ended two days ago, and I decided to come back to the dorm as fast as I could.”

“Why? Did you not enjoy it?” Yamaguchi asked innocently, his curiosity genuine. But before you could answer, Tsukishima discreetly stepped on Yamaguchi’s foot, silently urging him to stop pushing further. Yamaguchi winced but got the message, quickly falling silent.

You let out a small, forced chuckle, trying to mask your true feelings. “No, it was fine. It’s just that my parents want me to join the winter class with Professor Regenstein,” you explained, your eyes flickering to Tsukishima’s, searching for a reaction.

At this, Tsukishima’s gaze sharpened. “Professor Regenstein from the Biochemistry and Molecular Biology department?”

You nodded. “Yes, that’s the one.”

Tsukishima’s expression softened slightly, impressed. “He’s a great professor. You’ll get a lot of insight from his class.”

You nodded, though your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Yeah, that’s what my parents said.”

There was a brief silence, the air between you filled with unspoken words. Tsukishima could see the exhaustion in your eyes, the weight you were carrying from your holiday. He wanted to say something—anything—that might ease that burden, but he didn’t know where to start.

Yamaguchi, sensing the tension, jumped in again, this time with a lighter tone. “Well, it’s good to see you back! Maybe we can all grab lunch before we leave for winter camp.”

You blinked in confusion, tilting your head slightly. “Winter camp? What do you mean?”

Yamaguchi smiled, nodding enthusiastically. “Yeah, the volleyball team is heading to Okinawa for winter camp in two days. It’s going to be great—training on the beach, team bonding, all that fun stuff.”

Your smile faltered, a slight drop in your expression as his words sank in. “Oh, I see… that sounds… exciting.”

Tsukishima noticed the subtle shift in your demeanor, his own expression softening. He could see the disappointment you were trying to hide, the way your shoulders tensed slightly at the news.

Yamaguchi, still oblivious, continued with a grin, “Yeah, it’ll be a nice change of pace. But hey, how about we grab lunch tomorrow around noon before we leave?”

You forced a smile, nodding even though your mind was elsewhere. “Yeah, sure. Noon sounds good.”

Tsukishima watched you closely, feeling a pang of guilt that he couldn’t quite place. “Don’t worry, I’ll text you the time and place later.” He wanted to say something to reassure you, but the words caught in his throat. Instead, he just offered you a small, understanding smile as they began to leave the shop.

As they walked out, Tsukishima couldn’t shake the feeling that he should have said more. He felt conflicted, torn between wanting to keep his distance and wanting to be there for you. The memory of your strained expression lingered in his mind, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it anytime soon.

tagslist (free to mention) ; @theweirdfloatything @snowthatareblack @ilovemymomscooking @nayiiryun

[oh-no-its-bird]

Don't know if you've mentioned it and I've just missed it, if I have feel free to ignore this, but if not I wanted to ask: Since the Hatake clan has so few children and the ones that does exist and children overall are very much treasured, what was the WS era Hatake's view on sending children into war at a very young age? Do you HC that they do it just the same as other clans and it contributed to the dwindling number? Or did they do things differently?

OHHH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION ACTUALLY ?? OK SO

I hc that obv, warring states era, pretty much all the clans are starting out teaching their kids a lot younger than in modern times. (Though there are some exceptions in modern w some clan kids, who gets the same education that they're clans have been giving for hundreds of years)

Now, modern village-era has a lot more to teach with stuff like techniques and jutsu, (with there having been a big boom not only in the invention of new jutsu when Konoha was founded but also in the sharing of them between clans + making them standard) but warring states held them to a much higher standard with the basics they were given

So a 13 year old from modern konoha may know a few more tricks and techniques than a 13 year old from the warring states— but the warring states kid is probably going to be at a higher standard of skill. Not just bc they had less to learn and was thus trained on their basics over and over again, but also bc the states were harder on their kids bc like. They faced constant danger from literally every single direction at all times.

The village may have industrialized the child soldier buisness but it did help some. It provided a place where they didn't have to begin training till they were older (unless family interfered ofc) where they could act as children without fear of eandering too far and getting caught by bloodline thieves or rival clans, where there was time and space for them to fail at being a "good shinobi" and hopefully learn to be better

The warring states did not have any of that.

Anyways with that said! I think different clans have different standards of at what age their kids are adults now and what age are they properly battle ready.

The consensus tho is usually about ~15/16 for them being an adult (though that's still in air quotes)

You'll notice that clans who have less conflicts/are in more secure positions, have higher standards for adulthood. Like Uzushio, who considers their kids to be adults at 17.

Similarly, clans have different standards for when their kids are battlefield ready! There's a big divide also between the children of the clan head and the other children of the clan— ofc the clan heads children will probably be considered battle ready much earlier than others might just bc the clan head wants to make sure their children really get that experience.

You don't not have to be an adult to be battle ready, and many children are given missions with older clan escorts to guide them. If a child can prove their skill, they'll possibly be given their own solo missions, but ofc the type of mission is considered.

There's also probably a big difference in clans like the senju (not at risk to bloodlime theieves bc of how rare the mokuton is) and the Uchiha (very fucking at risk) treat sending out their children on missions!

So like, a senju kid might get an easy, solo courier missiom after proving their skill

But there's no way in hell the Uchiha would send out a child of the same skill and age on a solo mission of any kind

SO. ANYWAYS. THE HATAKE.

Like you said, I hc that they're a very small clan, and have problems both with fertility and also in safely giving birth. Even if they do get pregnant, there's a lot of miscarriages, c sections, and the mother dying in birth. It's very unfortunate, and because of it they treasure their children greatly

Which means ofc that their views on kids are a bit different than other clans!

Now, they are still a shinobi clan in the middle of the warring states era.

They do however have an extra bonus of being based in Iron— which actually has very few other shinobi clans, and whos millitary is mostly made up of samurai. So they have no real worries about neighboring clans attacking.

They don't even really have any direct enemies among the clans? And they have a terrifying reputation, some earned and some pure rumor, so most who know of them hear their name and immediatley turn around to book it the other way.

Which is to say: it's a bit safer for them to venture out and about than other clans, like the Uchiha.

So anyways:

When a Hatake is around 14-16, they'll lead their first hunt and have the option of gaining their 'stripes'. Red tattoos painted onto their face by the clans spiritual leader (Tobirama, when visiting his mother's clan in the past, got his tattoos here)

Once they have stripes, they are technically considered an adult— but there are ofc stages of it and they tend to not be really seen as an adult adult till about 18

The Hatake's are a self sustaining tribe and only take missions if they need the coin or it interests them. And when they do, the missions tend to be either bloody or something along the lines of "please come stand next to me and look menacing xoxo thx"

They arent to take any missions, solo or otherwise, till they've lead their first hunt. There are occasional exceptions: if the kid begs hard enough/ if the missiom looks simple and easy enough/if the missiom actually requires someone around that age/and ofc it's never solo— but in general before they lead a hunt, they pretty much never ever leave the home of their woods.

Its very boring and does lead to lots of pent up energy and begging of PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME GO ON A MISSION PLEASE JUST ONE JUST ONE SINGLE MISSION ILL EVEN DELIVER MAIL IF I HAVE TO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Even once they've got their stripes, it usually takes them a bit to get their first solo mission— both bc of over protection and also bc Haruka, the clan head, is a bitch and thinks it's funny to see them cry about it.

And ofc, the clan head is the one who has final say in who gets what mission. Tho in general the matter is usually dealt with by her heir— she can just butt in at any time

SO. THEIR OPINION ON OTHER CLANS.

The kids themselves burn with jealousy with the knowledge that their peers got to see battlefields when they were 12 or whatever

The adults find it mildly distasteful, but again, they are shinobi clans in the middle of the warring states era (and also a shinobi clan with a well deserved reputation for being fucking maniacs who would tear the world apart for their family)

So they're ultimately typically kind of "damn that's crazy. I would never." (Judgmental side eye and quick retort towards their own child to not get any ideas)

I think it's hard to say specifically bc its a balance of them valuing children and all but also like. Shinobi. Yk. They are a culture built on the backs of blood and bone

There's also an interesting prospect of how coming to the village changed this— or would have, in the short years the Hatake had their before they got wiped the fuck out

Ofc, using my own ocs here, when they come to Konoha there's only one real kid left, Ichigo at ~10, and there's a few years of busy work with Konoha getting set up and all sorts of shiny new things and people to distract her before it becomes smthn she remembers to beg for again

Sakumo would be born a couple years later, and his clan would die before it became a relevant enough topic to really discuss

BUT YEAH THATS MY TAKE ON WARRING STATES CHILDREN CULTURE N STUFF THANK U FOR UR ASK

[m4rv3l-girl]

hi!!! I love ur fics sm and I was wondering if you could do one where the reader is struggling with either ptsd or depression or something and they self harm and bucky walks in on them and cleans them up and comforts them and basically tells them it's not their fault ❤️❤️❤️

The Weight You Carry

Bucky x Y/N

Note: Thank you so much for your request, it is so valued! The topic of this one is obviously heavy and I (very fortunately) haven’t had any close contact with a situation like this. Due to the sensitive nature of the request - I have made the decision not to include any scenes of self-harm. This is something I’ve chosen to do because I would hate to write something unrealistic, harmful or content that will contribute to misconceptions. It’s simply not a subject I am well enough educated or experienced in to do it justice in writing. I’ve tried to stick to what you asked as much as possible, it includes the hurt/comfort themes, some clear emotional trauma and ellusions to past self harm but I have deliberately not included it in this fic. Thanks again, I hope you still enjoy! 🫶

Warnings: Depression. Trauma. Hurt/Comfort.

The bathroom was silent except for Y/N’s ragged breaths and the muffled sounds of her quiet sobs. The kind of silence that felt loud in her ears, reverberating against the cold, tiled walls. The mirror above the sink reflected a warped version of herself—puffy eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, and a trembling lower lip she couldn’t quite get under control.

Her hands gripped the edge of the porcelain sink like it was the only thing keeping her upright, the sharp bite of the rim pressing into her palms grounding her in a reality that felt too heavy to bear. She was suffocating under the weight of everything she couldn’t name, couldn’t fix, and couldn’t stop. It was a storm inside her head, a mess of guilt, fear, and exhaustion, swirling endlessly, consuming every bit of light she tried to hold onto.

This wasn’t new. She’d been fighting it for months—years, even. But tonight was one of the bad nights, the kind that snuck up on her, blindsiding her after a day that had been so deceptively normal. That was the cruel thing about it; it never gave her any warning. One moment she was fine, and the next, she was unraveling.

She hadn’t meant to end up here, curled up on the cold bathroom floor, her knees pulled to her chest, her forehead resting against them as she tried to hold herself together. She’d told herself she was just going to splash some water on her face, to take a minute to breathe. But the second she’d locked the door behind her, the dam had broken, and she’d crumpled.

A quiet knock at the door jolted her.

“Y/N?”

The voice was soft, hesitant but unmistakably familiar. Her chest tightened at the sound of it, her tears momentarily forgotten as she froze in place.

It was Bucky. Of course it was.

She didn’t answer, holding her breath as if staying silent would somehow make him go away. She couldn’t let him see her like this—broken, weak, and barely holding on. He didn’t need to deal with her mess on top of everything he carried himself.

“Doll?” His voice came again, quieter this time but no less concerned.

The nickname made her chest ache. He always said it with so much affection, like it was his way of reminding her how much he cared, how much she meant to him. But tonight, it felt like too much—too heavy, too undeserved.

“I know you’re in there,” he said after a beat of silence. His voice was closer now, just on the other side of the door.

“Go away, Bucky,” she finally croaked, her voice barely audible and hoarse from crying.

There was a pause, and for a brief moment, she thought he might actually listen. But then she heard him sigh, the kind of deep, weary sigh that spoke of his own struggles, his own battles.

“Sweetheart, I’m not leaving you like this,” he said gently.

She buried her face in her hands, shaking her head even though he couldn’t see her. “I’m fine,” she lied, the words shaky and unconvincing.

“You’re not,” he replied softly. There was no judgment in his tone, only a quiet determination.

She heard the faint jingle of keys, and her heart sank. Of course, he had the spare key. She’d given it to him months ago when things weren’t as bad, trusting him to use it only if she really needed him.

The lock clicked, and the door creaked open slowly. She didn’t look up, too ashamed to face him.

Bucky stepped inside, his frame filling the small doorway. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on her. She could feel his gaze, heavy with concern, and it only made her want to shrink further into herself.

“Y/N…” he murmured, his voice breaking slightly.

“Please, don’t,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

But he was already moving, kneeling down in front of her with a slow, deliberate gentleness that made her heart ache. He didn’t reach for her immediately, instead settling onto the floor a few feet away, giving her the space she so desperately needed.

“I’m here,” he said simply.

Those two words unraveled her completely.

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face as she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked softly, his brows furrowing.

“For being like this,” she choked out, her hands shaking as she wiped at her face. “For being so…broken.”

His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. Then, with a steadiness that made her heart clench, he said, “You’re not broken, Y/N.”

She let out a bitter laugh, the sound hollow and painful. “Then why do I feel like I am?”

“Because you’ve been carrying too much,” he said simply, his voice steady and sure. “And you’ve been doing it alone.”

His words hit her like a punch to the gut, and she finally looked up at him. His blue eyes were filled with a quiet intensity, a depth of understanding that only someone who had been through their own hell could offer.

“It’s not your fault,” he said firmly, his voice unwavering. “None of this is your fault.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but he shook his head, cutting her off gently.

“Whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re going through, it doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a burden. It makes you human. And I a human too, one that hurts just as much.”

Her tears came faster, harder, and she didn’t resist when he reached out, his hand brushing against hers.

“Let me help you,” he said, his voice softening. “You don’t have to do this alone, Doll. Let me be here for you, the way you’ve been there for me.”

Her resolve crumbled, and she leaned into him, letting him wrap his arms around her. His embrace was warm and steady, a safe haven in the midst of her storm.

“I’m scared,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “But can figure it out. One step at a time.”

And for the first time in a long time, she felt a little bit less alone.

——————————————————————————————————

Requests Open!

[shinxeysartgallery]

J is kind of an asshole and I think we all realize that especially after what she did in Episode 8. Still think she's being hated on a bit too hard though.

She knowingly sided with Cyn, despite knowing what she was responsible for, and that's obviously not a good thing. However, do keep in mind that all of the affected Elliot Manor drones are just traumatized children at the end of the day. Cyn put all of them through immeasurable horrors. Even without Cyn's influence, the drones were treated horribly by the humans (other than Tessa). And based off the scratched-off armbands that we saw N, V, and J have that also match Cyn's armband, there's strong implications that all three of them are also "zombie drones" much like Cyn is herself. We don't know what they were subjected to before being tossed into the dump and later being found by Tessa.

As J and V are fighting, J makes an interesting comment that sheds some light on her motivations. "...It tricked me, too." Obviously, that was never elaborated on, but it strongly implies that she had made some sort of a deal with Cyn for an unknown reason. We got confirmation that V also had made a deal with Cyn, which was basically that she'd do whatever Cyn wanted as long as she wouldn't hurt N (and then would leave them both alone). Don't know if N also made a deal, but he's likely there as a part of V's deal.

So it makes me wonder, what exactly did Cyn promise J? Did she tell her that she could bring back Tessa? Promise to not let her die again? Something else entirely? Based on her comment to V, SOMETHING was definitely promised that ended up being a lie. Everyone reacts to trauma differently. Saw a post a while back (will hyperlink it later if I can find it again) by another user doing a very good breakdown of how they perceived the drones' personalities changed as a result of their trauma. N became a doormat because he kept getting hurt or hurting others every time he stood up for himself or someone else. (They also add that V's coldness towards him contributed to it and made him lose a lot of self-confidence.) V became rather cold because she was basically forced to turn off her emotions to cope with what she was doing. And she was purposefully mean to N to chase him away as an attempt to protect him from Cyn. J became a corporate bootlicker because she was terrified of being discarded again, so now she feels like she has to prove that she's useful.

And I think those theories all definitely hold some water here and help to explain why J still chose to side with Cyn, even after realizing that whatever their deal was was a lie. It's likely that she realized that if she decided to side against Cyn, Cyn would've just killed her straight-up. And that's really not out of the question, considering what she did to N and V once she realized that those two had asked too many questions and realized that she was the bad guy they wanted nothing to do with. If J had also gone against her, she'd just be replaced with either a clone that had its memories wiped (as evident by Cyn's comment to N in Episode 7: "your clones will forgive me") or a personality shift, or just flat-out a completely different drone altogether. There's also her comment towards V during their fight. "I promise it's better on the winning team.", which implies that J had full belief that Uzi wouldn't have been able to stop Cyn and Cyn was going to get her way no matter what. That paired up with the personality shift might imply that she felt trapped. Cyn preyed on her vulnerability and fears of being discarded and weaponized them against her. She believed that Cyn was going to win no matter what, and if she went against Cyn, she was going to be discarded again. Despite knowing she was tricked, she probably stays loyal to Cyn because she's terrified of that outcome. She doesn't want to die, she doesn't want to be thrown away again. But the only person she feels she can get that security from is the same one that basically caused all of her problems. That same person is practically the equivalent of a god in the universe and seemingly NOTHING can stop it. What choice does she have in that perspective?

I still feel like she's an incredibly tragic character. Horribly mistreated by humans, forced to watch (or participate in) her best friend's death at the hands of the one she despises the most, sees the same bestie be horribly mutilated and disfigured, be forced to commit horrible atrocities herself, and be manipulated and lied to. She deserves a redemption arc.

You're obviously allowed to still hate/dislike her, but that's just my thoughts on it!

[invis-o-william]

Dannymay Day 4: Eyes

It had been days since what the trio now dubbed, “The Accident”. They hadn’t spoken about it much, the experience still too raw, too fresh in their minds. They also hadn’t spoken about the state Danny had been since he had awoken. It was explained to him, sure, but beyond that? It was taking some time for the three of them to work through.

Sam and Tucker found themselves a bit clingier to Danny now, anxiety overwhelming them when the boy was absent from their sides for more than a night. It probably wasn’t the healthiest thing in the world, but it was all they could do for now. So they spent the last days of their summer vacation together going to the park or hanging out at the mall, and their evenings having sleepovers at Tucker’s house. They avoided the Fenton residence like the plague, some part of Danny feeling off whenever they went near the building. He knew he couldn’t avoid it forever though. School was starting soon, and with it a return to routine and home.

It was on one of these sunny August days that Danny was thinking of his inevitable return home. The three of them were at their favorite hangout spot in Amity Park Park, a lone oak tree sitting atop a small hill. Tucker leaned up against the tree, typing rapidly into his newest PDA (lovingly named ‘Georgia’) and occasionally contributing to conversation. Meanwhile Sam was giving her nails a fresh coat of black polish and talking about her expectations and fears about the new school year to the boys.

Danny had zoned out though, laying back in the grass. His mind kept wandering to the basement, to the portal. He hadn’t seen it since The Accident, but it still kept creeping back into his thoughts. Sam and Tucker had said that after Danny had gone inside that it had activated. They had said that even after he had stumbled out and collapsed, the portal still hadn’t closed. It might still be running.

No.

An unexplainable feeling flowed through Danny. The portal was still running, he could tell. He wasn’t sure how, but he knew. Focusing in on the feeling, Danny could imagine what the portal looked like, though he himself never saw it post Accident. He could almost see the swirling shades of green that spiraled in on themselves. That horrible, hypnotic green that had encompassed his senses. That had flooded his body with so much pain that he couldn’t see, couldn’t feel anything but green, green, green. 

He had died.

It wasn’t something the trio had spoken about, probably out of denial, but some part of Danny knew it to be a fact. He had died in the portal. His parent’s invention had killed him, and by some cruel twist of fate the portal had given him life once more.

He hadn’t told Sam and Tucker, but he had felt…different ever since the portal. He knows what they had told him about how he looked. About how when he fell that he passed right through their arms as if he wasn’t truly there.

As if he were a ghost.

Maybe that’s what he was now, though, no. No, that couldn’t be it. It didn’t feel right. That part of him that felt different didn’t seem to accept that. He concentrated on that part, hoping maybe, just maybe, he could get a better sense of what he was now. Perhaps…

“......ny? Danny, are you ok?”

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Sam. She leaned over at him, concern evident on her features. 

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine, sorry,” he said sheepishly as he moved to sit up. “I think I kind of spaced out there for a minute.”

Sam was staring at him intently, even as he sat up. Danny couldn’t help but blush as he averted his eyes, but as he did so her hand shot out to grab his wrist.

“Wait, your eyes they’re…” she trailed off before noticing her hold on Danny and quickly letting go.

Tucker looked up from where he was sitting and leaned forward to look at Danny.

“You’re right,” he said, and rummaged around in his pocket before pulling out a small device and attaching it to his PDA. “Hold still, I want to see if I can get this on camera,” he said before snapping a picture. When he looked at the screen though, he frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense!” 

“What doesn’t? What’s wrong with my eyes guys?” Danny asked, tone growing slightly panicked.

“Danny, they’re glowing.” Sam said.

“What? Seriously?” He asked, panicked. He looked back and forth between Sam and Tucker who were both nodding. “Do you think it's because of the -” he cut himself off, not able to bring himself to say it just yet.

“I don’t know man.” Tucker handed his PDA over, “Look at this.” On the screen was a regular picture of Danny, but one thing was off. His entire face was distorted, almost like his head had been shaking at high speed. All he could make out was the color of his skin, hair, and a piercing glowing green where his eyes should have been. The same green as the portal. The same green as his death.

Danny took a shuddering breath. In. Out. He paused. His eyes had done this while he was thinking about the portal, about The Accident. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

“I think we need to talk about what happened. At the portal.”

Sam and Tucker glanced at each other and agreed. It had been long enough, they needed to sort through all of this and get the best sense of the situation they could now.

School was starting soon after all, and who knows what would happen once Danny had to go home again.

[loveandleases]

Our softie has been a bit neglected lately, so what better time than to post the M X MC karaoke snippet.

“Are you sure you want to do this? It’s okay to back out ya know.” You give M one last glance, your hand resting on the handle of the door into the karaoke booth.

It was a dumb dare, one you didn’t think they would have agreed to. The shots you two did earlier no doubt contributed to their newfound bravery. They groan into their palms, likely regretting all the choices that got the two of you here. You’re about to grab them, walk them back to the apartment but they allow their palms to fall, a newfound determination on their face. “I-I said I would do it. And damn it, I’m going to do it. How can I expect my characters to sing their hearts out to one another if I can’t even go in with my…friend.”

“Promise I won’t take any embarrassing photos of you for blackmail.” You mean it as a joke, but the way M’s shoulders tighten means you missed the spot. It takes five minutes to finally get into the room, M only trying to bolt out the door three times. Which is an improvement to when you went to watch a horror movie together at the theater.

It takes four tequila shots for them to loosen up enough to pick a song, two more shots to muster the courage to begin singing. If you can call it that.

You had to admit you were surprised by how much they were able to drink and still function.  M is lost in conversation with themselves as the song begins to play. Kiss me, out of the bearded barley Nightly, beside the green, green grass. They fumble the first line, their nerves all but apparent on their frame. “Shit-shiiiit.” You muffle a laugh, at least they sing their swears. It’s somewhat endearing as they slowly loosen up, not hiding behind their usual shyness. Their eyes locking onto yours as if the words coming out of their mouth are more than just lyrics. Halfway through the song all the tension that had them wound up is gone, they’re half dancing half jumping from spot to spot. Their cheeks flush from one too many drinks. “Kiss me, beneath the milky twilight.” M turns to you, their hand reaching out for your own. “Are you serenading me right now?” They falter, missing the beat of the next verse, shaking their head as they pull you to join them. It’s a mess of bodies, M spins you, nearly causing you to run into the table. The song long forgotten as your laughter fills the booth. So kiss me. M smiles at you, a goofy grin. The dark circles under their eyes don’t dampen the brightness of their smile. “That was-“ “Fun?” “Fucking awful, I can’t believe you let me sing in public.” They laugh, tossing the microphone onto one of the seats. “Aww, c’mon you did great.”

You both sit, closer than you ever have. Their arm brushes against your own, their leg pressed against yours. Their usual sweet and soft demeanor now mixed with a newfound, alcohol-induced bravery.

Their eyes, normally hesitant and averted, are now fixed on yours with an intensity that is both endearing and startling. “MC,” their voice is uncharacteristically bold, but you don’t miss the slight tremor betraying their nervousness. “I.. I need to tell you something.” They take a deep breath, their heart racing. “I..fuck..okay..damn. alright, I’m going to say it alright.” You know when they get like this it’s not necessarily you they’re talking to, more themselves. “I wanted to…Iwanttokissyou.” The words are said so quickly it takes you a second to register what they said. The words hang in the air, heavy with emotion. Their face a picture of flustered courage, their lips slightly parted and eyes wide with fear and hope. They still give off this softness, but now, now it’s laced with something else. You’re not sure who moves first, normally you would say it was you, but the way that they grab your arms and tug at you might say otherwise. M’s breath hitches, their eyes fluttering shut mumbling one last swear. The world outside the booth fades away, only sound you hear is their breath, and your heartbeat. It’s a gentle kiss at first, a bit hesitant. An exploration of unspoken feelings. M’s lips are soft and warm, a faint taste of alcohol. They groan, and the kiss deepens. Your hands finding theirs, fingers intertwining. You’re not sure how long you kiss, how long M’s tongue tangles with your own. When they pull away, they look at you briefly before squeezing their eyes shut. Their foreheads resting against your own, their cheeks so warm you can feel the heat emanating from them. A genuine smile on their lips, causing your heart to skip a beat. “Will you remember this tomorrow?” You can’t help but ask, knowing they must be drunk. “Ah, I didn’t think about that!” M jerks back, their expression changes so quick, now a look of fear on their face. “We-we should do- I can do you- Fuck no, I mean yes, oh ooh. Oh nooo. I said that out loud. Out fucking loud. Kill meeeee." There they are, the flustered mess you've grown used to. Your hands cup their cheeks, pulling them to look at you, before you lean in. "Kiss me."

[lizzie-queenofmeigas]

I find it weird that some people say Visenya was “bloodthirsty” when she was the pragmatic one of the trio. Most of her biggest victories of gaining Westeros were through diplomacy or through finding bloodless ways to get the other side to surrender (how she conquered the Vale).

Frankly, she spent years as a loyal advisor and consort for decades, even advising Aenys when he was majorly screwing up and letting the Faith Militant arm itself and attack the family politically AND martially.

I mean, her 13 year old son Maegor was married off to the 23 year old Ceryse Hightower (which, yeah, funny how the fandom loves to ignore that bit) when Visenya suggested a marriage between Maegor and Rhaena (when Aegon was sickly himself and might not have lived). Likewise, his first exile happened because he took Alys Harroway as his second wife, when he wasn’t allowed an annulment from Ceryse in spite of years of childlessness. Aenys didn’t back Maegor on having a second wife, even though Aenys himself was the son of the second wife, so he was exiled.

Does Visenya give Aenys what for, even though she’d be well within her rights to point out that, according to Aenys and the Septon’s own logic, Maegor should be king ? No. She remains Aenys’ advisor (not that he takes her advice).

Maegor returns during Aenys’ death when Aenys’  awful handling of the entire situation, in part thanks to his own misogyny (him NOT letting Rhaena ride Dreamfyre through the progress, even though that would’ve put a stop to the Faith Militant’s momentum right quick, because he feared it would “emasculate” Aegon since he doesn’t have a dragon) and in part thanks to him being conflict avoidant, has imploded.

Maegor’s cruelty comes out after the Trial of the Seven, where he gets his skull bashed in but survives. After that, his cruelty becomes more apparent, but he isn’t insane. Visenya goes scorched earth on the Faith along with her son precisely because the time to resolve it without going scorched earth was during Aenys’ tenure as king... and he didn’t listen to any suggestions from Visenya about being firm with them or even confronting them and telling them to knock it off.

As seen in Cersei’s POV, Maegor’s greatest contribution as king was to disarm the Faith and putting the High Septon in his place so they wouldn’t dream of attempting to install a reactionary theocracy for centuries. THAT was the one major net good his reign did.

Visenya and Aegon and Rhaenys had sacrificed much to unite the lands of Westeros. Letting all of that crumble just because Aenys was too weak and cowardly to deal with the Faith Militant properly ? Yeah, I can see how that would be the last straw and would feel like a slap in the face, especially since it was Rhaenys’ own son who was rendering his own mother’s death as meaningless by letting the Unified Centralized Westeros experiment die on his watch.

The mischaracterization of Visenya (and to some extent Maegor's) come from the misogynistic propaganda of the Faith and the Maesters as well as her enemies. Much like propaganda spread against people in the real world is a thing of their enemies (Borgi incest for example) so is in George's world. The thing is that the readers instead of thinking they just accept everything they read as the truth, and that is a mistake, especially in Fire & Blood.

I hardly think Visenya was a witch or that Maegor liked to gut cuts and horses when he got mad at a very young age, but it is written by the maesters in the book because they need to demonize both characters.

So Visenya's and Maegor's real personalities get lost in translation.

[anxiousthoughts365]

Thank you for taking these microfic requests; your writing is so wonderful <3 Would I be able to request 8th year Draco and Harry being all sleepy and soft together?

Hey! Sorry it's taken a while to get back to you, life be life-in' pretty hard right now!

Thank you and all of the lovely anons before you for submitting the requests! Of course you can :) sorry I went on a bit of a tangent with this one 😬

~🐍Drarry⚡️& Sleepy and Soft ~

No warnings apply

Harry started when Ron plonked himself down on the bench directly opposite him in the Great Hall. He managed to give his best friend a wan smile, but the redhead's eyes were already trained on the figure to Harry's left. It was testiment to the boy when he managed to say almost neutrally, 'What's with him?'

Harry blinked blearily at the person sitting on his left - well, sitting was putting it generously. Draco wasn't exactly sat, more somehow splayed out vertically against Harry's side. Truthfully, he didn't even know what to call the position the Slytherin was in. He had no idea how the blonde boy was remaining upright, and he didn't dare move too much for fear of jostling him or, worse, waking him.

'Late night study session,' Harry murmured, as quietly as he could. Ron raised one mocking eyebrow as he began to pile his own plate high, but Harry just sent him a rude hand gesture in response. 'I'm serious. You know how worried he is about the exams. We spent four hours going over past papers for Potions last night. He knows everything, and yet he's so ...'

Harry's tired mind was struggling to find the right word, but suddenly Ron sat up straight, his eyes roving over Draco once more. This time, however, there was more curiosity than contempt in his gaze. It had taken a while for Ron (as well as many others) to come to terms with Harry and Draco's new, er, closeness, and sometimes he and the Slytherin still slipped back into old habits of sniping and snarling at one another. This contributed to Harry's surprise when Ron said softly, 'He's scared.'

'I think so,' Harry conceded, reaching for his coffee and trying to ignore the sinking of his heart at the thought. He hated seeing Draco so frightened of failing, so afraid of being truly left with nothing after everything they had all done over the summer to try and stabilise his reputation. He hated it more that he felt entirely useless in the face of Draco's distress; hated that no matter what Harry did, it wasn't enough to soothe him.

'Oh Godric, not the lost puppy look,' Ron groaned, grimacing at whatever expression Harry was subconsciously making. But before he could shout Ron down, the redhead was leaning over the table. 'Alright, look. There's no use you both killing yourselves over this, so here's what we'll do. I can take over helping him with the Potions stuff. Might actually help me out a bit, as well. And you know that 'Mione would love nothing better than an equally dedicated study buddy, so let's get her in on this too, yeah?'

'You'd do that?' Harry breathed, and it might be the fact that he was thoroughly exhausted from the string of late nights that he and Draco had been pulling, but the corners of his eyes were definitely prickling.

'Divide and conquer, mate,' Ron mumbled around a mouthful of toast, before swallowing and glancing up at the clock at the end of the Hall. 'Better wake up Sleeping Beauty there, though. Think he'd be pissed if you let him be late to class.'

Harry sighed, but he knew that Ron was right. So he gently brought one arm up to support Draco's back, and turned to nudge his nose gently against the boy's hairline. 'Draco. Wake up, it's time to go.'

'Don't wanna,' Draco slurred, turning to bury his face against Harry's neck. The Gryffindor chuckled quietly, unable to resist pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's temple.

'C'mon, Baby, you don't want to be late, right?' he prompted, ignoring the way that Ron gagged exaggeratedly from across the table at the pet name.

'Have long legs,' Draco huffed, nosing at Harry's collar bone. 'Can run if I have to. Five more minutes? M'comfy ... Y' smell good ...'

Harry's heart leapt against his ribcage at those words. Draco often struggled to be so openly affectionate, and it was only really in times like these that his walls came down enough for it to shine through. So. entirely selfishly, Harry wrapped his arm more firmly around Draco, keeping him close. The action caused Ron to roll his eyes, but the redhead was chuckling as he stood from the bench, leaving the two boys to just that extra five minutes of sleepy peace.

[lokavisi]

Hey I have a question

I feel like there's a lot of saneism directed towards the spiritual and especially polytheistic communities, mainly in regards to any communication one might have with spirits or deities etc.

As a relatively new pagan myself, I'm having a bit of trouble unraveling that in my own mind and accepting my own experiences as anything more than coincidence for fear of "sounding crazy". I'm wondering if perhaps you have any advice or recommendations as someone who seems confident in their spirituality enough to discuss it online? I would appreciate any wisdom you have to share

Hello! I have ADHD and have struggled to type out a coherent answer that doesn't stray too far off topic, so I hope I actually answer your question. (Though do not hesitate to follow up if you need!) This is all how I see things, so feel free to take what resonates and leave the rest. :)

I have spent lots of time myself wondering if my beliefs or experiences sound "crazy" to others for any number of reasons. I have depression and ADHD, I know plenty of atheists who think religion is not necessary, and I carry religious trauma from the Christianity I grew up with.

I've recently had an experience that made me doubt so much of the work that I've been doing over the past year and a half of my life. But something that I've been coming back to over the past week or so is that everyone, no matter their beliefs, will always see things differently than you. Even the people who agree with you on something or have a shared experience are still having their own individual experience with it that is unique to them. This is not a problem, but we (in the general sense) like to make it one and insist there is One Correct Way to do, hear, or experience spirituality or any of its many facets (like receiving messages from deity, for example). Part of my own work this past week has been starting to unravel some of that thinking in myself. Between being raised in a religion that insisted their beliefs were The Truth and having serious rejection sensitivity, I recognize that I sometimes feel the need to assert my "correctness" out of fear that I'm wrong and will be looked down upon for being so. But the truth is, as far as I can tell, there is no one correct way to have faith or generally do any of this stuff.

All that to say, as difficult as it may be at times, it's important to recognize that no matter how truly unique our experience is, it is still valid. No one but you knows what you experience. Only you know what it is you truly believe, and that belief shapes your understanding of your experience. What matters at the end of the day is what it all means for you personally (and that you're not actively and intentionally harming others). Other people have their own experiences and their own beliefs that shape their understanding of things, and to them your experience might sound "crazy" (whether saneism is a clear contributing factor or not). If it feels real and right and true to you, then hold on to that. Your path and your experience doesn't have to make sense to everyone, nor does it need everyone's approval. Like I said, I've recently been shaken up (which I think we admittedly do sometimes need to reassess our values/beliefs every so often), so it's a bit of a constant battle to really believe that deep down. But I know that is ultimately what I believe. I know what my experience is and I'm happy to share it with people on the off chance it resonates with them and we can connect over it. And if it doesn't, it doesn't. Sometimes it hurts, but if Loki has taught me anything it's that being true to who I am is the greatest thing I can do in this world that loves to change us into something we're not.

I am not always confident, and it's ok if you're not either. That doesn't mean your experience isn't real. The best we can do is work through the baggage and shadows getting in our way, follow our intuition, and be our truest selves. Whether this was helpful to you or not, I do sincerely wish for the best for you and I'm happy to chat anytime. <3

[pastafossa]

Pasta! Pasta! Pasta! I think you mentioned that you were currently reading through Daredevil comics. Is there any you recommend as a must read?

I DID! I've gone through a decent amount of runs now, working my way through the Big Rec'd arcs, and it is wild to see all these bits and pieces that I recognize as contributing to the show that really got my love for Matt started, there's some really good shit here.

I'd say Frank Miller's classic The Man Without Fear, and Born Again runs are the biggest Must Read! Having read through some of the arcs that came out before Miller's runs, I get now why people say Miller changed the game with Daredevil. These runs are foundational to all of our modern depictions of Matt, and a huge part of Daredevil's history and development. Miller's arcs aren't necessarily my favorites in terms of pure enjoyment, but they're top of the list because you just get so much of who modern Matt and Daredevil is, distilled down into its purest form.

The Brian Michael Bendis + Alex Maleev run is so gut-wrenching (and somewhat heartbreaking, but what else is new with Matt) in a stunning way, and fleshes out the world around Matt so gd well. The tonal darkness Netflix pulled a lot of its vibe from is on full display, and I loved the importance of characters like Ben Urich. I can see how this run inspired writers that came after, this was another foundational run for Matt. (I'd continue with Brubaker's run immediately after this since it continues the story!)

I know Matt's whole thing is depression, but I feel like Mark Waid's run was a really solid amalgamation of Matt's lighter tone earlier on and the more serious vibe he gets later. This is both a fun read and a solid one, allowing us to kind of see a bit more of what Matt's like when his life's not spiraling from tragedy to tragedy even if he's still taking things seriously when necessary. And damn was this a breath of fresh air. It's on my Must Read list because what's the point of following Matt if we never get to see him happy? This might be my personal enjoyment favorite.

Kevin Smith's Guardian Devil run, not necessarily because I think it's the best but because we really dig into Matt's catholicism here in a way that ends up influencing a lot of what comes later. Must Read for this take alone, since Matt's faith has become a big part of who he is as a character, even if parts of this run are a bit rough (there is sometimes waaay too much text on the page, which from what I understand Smith has acknowledged).

That's what I've got so far! I still have a TON on my list I want to get to (Soule's the next one I'm eyeing) before fully diving into Chip Zdarsky's current run (which I am very excited about), but these are the Big Reads that I think give an excellent sense of who Matt is as we understand him, his history, and how he's developed over the decades. ❤️