#i fail at masking anyway
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she's quite possibly the best genshin impact character
#[.art]#genshin impact#furina#furina de fontaine#focalors#she's so... I don't know what it is about her I like girls when they're failing and tormented it seems#I could make her worse. Or fix her. I could make her read pirandello and I think she'd go as insane as I did#top ten books that gave me genuinely permanent psychological issues with masks and the ideal of a true self and knowing people. anyways. he#Furina leggi uno nessuno centomila. Per favore. Furina per favore#i've made up my mind I wouldn't fix her I could however mirror her identity issues and make us codepentently attached. Furina speak to me#<- slash jay
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I have traveled far beyond the path of reason, take me back to Eden
edit: more context in the tags of the root post
#sleep token#sleep token fanart#levynn tries to draw#so the thought behind this..#there was a lot but in short#the concept is that the moth represents vessel mostly#the masks are the past cycles or states of being#essentially they represent the past selves of the individual#and the moth is chasing those past memories and feelings and familiar things even if they kill it#and Sleep is basically trying to protect them from that#by physically pulling them back#but i wanted to have the tentacles a sort of insect like feel to them#to somewhat evoke a spider in a way so that protection still probably going to harm the moth#and beyond that maybe even play on the idea of it trapping the insect and maybe even consume it up after a period of time#so the moth is both trying to escape that reach but also chasing that pull of the beacon like familiarity of the past#there is no escape#there is no reason left#no options just what is behind and what is in front#stuck between the two#in a way this is an iteration on my idea of the vessel failing and getting lost on the journey at the very end#anyway this was a fun little one day project and i hope you enjoy it at least half as much as i did drawing it
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when an obsessed orufrey person plays ace attorney for the first time in a while
#witch hat tag#orufrey#you know those times when the defendant is still in shambles at the end of a case because it was not a clear-cut thing#but you get to present one Special Sentimental piece of evidence that proves not all is lost#qifrey's breakdown would be like... he turns up calm and pleasant like dahlia kristoph gant etc but very quickly:#well first he's hiding his scar so you have to use the bracelet and also you find out about the seal on his hat using that.#eventually he is throwing water that comes out of nowhere like that coffee prosecutor guy. and his cape starts billowing#the more he breaks down his neck thingies start coming undone btw. To represent his descent into guilt and his LIES becoming undone.#course as the player i have already used my magatama and seen his 35894 psychelocks. but theyre those BLACK psychelocks#representing his repressed memories taken by the brimhats. also his glasses shatter out of nowhere when you keep presenting evidence#and tartah's testimony etc. and the player is like UHH this guy is A PUPPET MASTER but coco's heartfelt testimony commands the tone#and of course he's someone who has been twisted and damaged by trauma like adrian andrews. the mastermind is of course the brimhats#only me with my magatama knows that... only i can do it. It has to be me.....#just like how as the reader i can see everything about qifrey and i can hold him dear as much as i judge him#whereas if i were oru things would not be ok unless memories can be restored and mentally ill decisions can be illuminated#WELL ANYWAY !!!!! what i appreciate about ace attorney is its ability to mix silliness with seriousness#i cant usually make jokes about serious heavy heartbreaking stuff in witch hat because it is all very intense emotions for me#but i appreciate ace attorney's mix of sincerity and psychological pain and the inherent silliness to being a character in a situation#so.....Get Iguin on the stand. Now. BAILIFF.. TAKE OFF THE MASK#i would most love to be able to prove qifrey's eyesight is failing. hed be like I have no reason to pursue the brimhats (smiles pleasantly)#and it would be like You're lowering your gaze.. proof that the court lighting is too harsh for you..!#his glasses would crack at that moment btw. I used apollo's bracelet and saw the glyphs on the glass.#I know all about u. and i will save u
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if you asked me in 4.8 what i was expecting from mavuika and capitanos dynamic and overall energy going in idk what id have answered but it really fucking wasnt going to be "divorced, not rly over it but pretending we are and coparenting ororon so hard you wouldnt fucking believe we literally met each other last week canonically" like 😭😭😭😭😭 why are they so peak wtf. please remarry your son needs you
#THE SHIP ALWAYS HAD PRIME POTENTIAL BUT THIS SHIT JUST#CINEMA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#modern au theyd be like. wingmanning the shit out of each other in a desperate attempt to mask the Longing™️#Enthusiastically supporting each others (always failing. somehow) attempts at dating again#ororon getting comments like oh youre so lucky that your parents still get along after the divorce haha#and hes sitting there like. ok sure but have you considered a hell of a different kind (they REALLY need to get back together. Desperately)#and he just has to live with it 💀#anyway yes i live. and did the quest#rambles#genshin#genshin spoilers#5.1 spoilers#genshin impact spoilers
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mooooore estrels. working out some more of her design
#elden ring#elden ring fanart#elden ring oc#tarnished#the nemesis speaks#nemesis art#estrel the alloyed#oh god i haven't done a full thing like rendered in... So long. i think it healed me. i feel good about it anyway#anyway yeah idk. custom mask fuck it. none of the ingame ones fit her perfectly! also im addicted to creating Lore Items#also not sold on giving her the astrologer's staff there's no real reason for her to have it specifically#but neither do any of the other ones make any sense#statswise she would be using the prince of death's but no way she is touching that thing with a twenty foot pole in lore#and the astrologer's staff has swag. it's a good design. especially if your tarnished fuckin holds it properly#and she's only casting some basic utility spells when incants fail really so idk i'll probably leave it at that#oh were you expecting ff art. or idk maybe dunmeshi. some fucking pokemon shit. NO. estrel again.#root carver losett
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if ambessa medarda has 100 fans i’m one of them.
if ambessa medarda has 10 fans i’m one of them.
if ambessa medarda has 1 fan it’s me.
if ambessa medarda has no fans i’m dead.
#my goat get behind me#ambessa medarda#arcane#and no. it’s not just because i’m a lesbian#but she’s sick as hell yall just dont get her#ambessa bashers who are also s/lco glazers infuriate me…#n e way#did yall see that lion mask she was wearing in the trailer#my glorious queen#my favourite problematic woman#anyway can my friends stop asking to see my exam essay. i dont know how to let yall down easy#but yall r not seeing that el oh el#also. i know i said fandom posting will be sparse#and it will#but i just got back like half of my mock exams and basically failed all of them#so i deserve one fandom post shush
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you come to me on the day of such turmoil and you expect me to learn a new ADOBE PROGRAM????????? death penalty MINIMUM
#adobe designs programs like the more miserable it is to use the more money they'll make#anyway. first tutorial on masking text fucking absolutely failed!#i dont get mad often i feel but holy shit the incandesent rage i feel#im much quicker to frustrate than anger id say but this is just Bad
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old drawing I never posted. i like these two freaks, I should draw them more
#rubin#skironir#oc#rukaan#humanization#skironir is fully on board with the murder for the record. She likes rubin because he loves to kill people and she thinks it's cool and fun#someone warned her when she was like human-nineteen (im not sure how to translate caribou ages to humans LMAO could've been#anywhere from 19 to 25ish) that there was a weird loner freak eating out of the garbage and threatening people with knives and she went#'damn thats crazy. hes kinda hot. im gonna be his friend'#rubin (also approximately the same age as her) was like 'ive never had a friend before and im not going to start now. fuck off'#and then failed so hard at not having any friends that he fell in love like an idiot and now he's stuck with her forever and she can't get#rid of him. which works for skironir because she would be very sad if she did get rid of him#im not sure im gonna keep the she/her pronouns for skir. in all the stuff i've written for the deer game with skir i use he/him#but rubin using he/him pronouns in the mg!au also trips me up a bunch because i keep being like this is girl rubin he's a girl i made him#into a girl and now he's a girl. and then i get lost in the pronoun weeds LMAO#you undrestand#anyway i enjoy them a lot#very straightforward characters. they roll into town. they cause problems. they kill someone. they leave#i should make magical girl katjaana straight up just a dude. for balance. a dude who uses she/her and turns into a magical girl also#or maybe i could go full tuxedo mask with her.... idk#joke
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Don't go hangout with your chronically ill disabled immunocompromised friend when ur sick or around people who were sick and not tell them until afterwards... Sincerely your local chronically ill disabled immunocompromised friend who is currently having a bad time 👍
If you aren't going to wear a mask and protect yourself or the people you supposedly care about at least don't LIE to us.
I'm so tired.
It is exhausting knowing that the people who supposedly care or even love you can't be bothered to give a damn when they have to actually take preventative measures.
#hi its me your local chronically ill disabled friend#im so tired#wear your fucking mask#or at least tell me you aren't#i fucking guess??????#its not hard and it never has been#its called ableism 👍#anyways rant over#im sick and im supposed to go on vacation to force myself to REST#so we are already failing ✨#heds#pots#cane user
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i am genuinely so crazyyyy about lbruuuuu.... like Genuinely Genuinely. its pretty bad guise
#like. im crazy about the.m#unfortunately ive been touched by autism and therefore the pattern seeking. they are so dirkjake#and also so me nand my husband <3#its kind of freaky actually#my husband and kabru both have ptsd overthinking masking disease. he said he didnt like kabru (anime only) and i told him about those trait#and he was like is he me. is that why i dont like him. and i was like LOL#he was ilke i dont like that he says what he needs to get what he wants... and i was like sir we literally just talked about how bad your#Fake Conflict Avoidant has gotten bro dont even play#im laios ofc.... ofc... not only is our autism like. similar in presentation. but also the whole never fitting in#and getting told off by a friend granted i wasnt told she always hated me but i was told about how annoying i am and on another occasion#how unreliable i am so LOLLLL that entireeeee scene seriously wrenched my soul#anyway im gonna commit egregious acts against myself to atone for this#alsoooooohis relationship with falin... is really relatable..#now this may sound harsh against laios but im his number one fan i will defend him to death but...#he left his struggling sister to avoid his own pain and didnt reconnect with her for years#like. Yeah. wow. i will say i was much more cruel to my sibling than laios ever was to falin lol he was just kind of a normal brotherly ass#and ofc he was a kid when he ran from home! and i was a kid when i had severe unmanaged adhd (with tism) and had 0 hold on my emotions#and then i withdrew from my sibling once i got on antidepressants lol#it was really difficult to deal with the guilt of having mistreated them to the extent i did while also acknowledging i was failed by our#adults its hard figuring out what exactly youre sorry for#anyways#i love oversharing here. do you guys like it. does anyone ever read these rants#DM
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i am not good at video games but yet i persevere
#failed the goron race in majoras mask like 15 times in a row but i am determined to get that sword upgrade#anyways. you shouldve seen me playing alttp it was a struggle some of those bosses. i was only able to beat them through#sheer stubbornness. thank you save states.#anyways what i have learned from rapidly playing every zelda game i can get my hand on is that twilight princess bosses are easy lol#fun but. easy. except for argorok all my homies hate argorok#well its not really argoroks fault. he isnt hard in theory its just that in reality the fight is less link vs argorok and more#me vs the wii motion controls.#all other games im like mashing attack button and then twilight princess i was wildly swinging around my wii remote#and shaking the nunchuck like do a spin attack link i know you know how to do it#anyways. ikana village is terrifying. i am afraid. i hate you gibdos i hate you redeads#gibdos in twilight princess were easy...they dont wrap your arms around them id just see them and frantically swing my sword and then#theyd just die.#anyways its impressive how many zelda games ive played without getting any better at them.#my skills at getting lost in dungeons remain unmatched. i even managed to do it in totk. somehow.
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eden isnt usually this expressive but I thought the nervous smile was cute -u-
#smudgy.png#trisona#trigun oc#oc: eden#loooove drawing messy like this. will be doing it forever from now on#anyway i think maybe being super expressive could be a mask of his#he has many masks for different situations#never rly notices hes using them & i imagine gets frustrated if its pointed out#he doesnt like masking & doesnt like being made aware that hes doing it (& also doesnt like to know that hes Failing At It sdvdg)
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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
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hfw: burning shores | aloy 12/?
#burning shores#hfwbs#horizon forbidden west#hfw#aloy#mark of pride#quen marine#aloy the mermaid#i wish we could just turn off the diving mask#instead of having to do funky things like swan dive and hope for a good pose#also idk if it's just me or is swan diving harder to do after the 1.21 update?#i was never super great at it#but i could do it fairly consistently#now i fail more times than not#also have not managed to do a dive off of a bird *once*#and i was very proud when i figured that one out pre-1.21#boo#anyway#underwater shots are cool#hfwbs aloy#hfw underwater
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Random fucked up thing I just remembered: I was talking with the doctor about an ADHD form she gave me which consisted of criteria like "climbs on things in situations when they shouldn't" and "Is often loud, rude or offensive" with a large focus on hyperactivity (and very much written through a negative lens). Having done a good bit of research and understanding the difference between the way ADHD typically presents in females vs males I made a comment about how the form was quite clearly and stereotypically designed for almost exclusively 4-year-old boys. AND THIS WOMAN REPLIES "You'll just have to get used to that dear. Most things in this world are designed for men."
#also the lack of acknowledgement of masking always#like yes bitch I would love to climb on things in situations when I shouldn't#but I'm also a chronic people pleaser#“fails to complete work on time”#nah that would make me cry too much but I get damn near close to it and cry anyway#also I fully recognise that it is so not her fault#like this idea has been drilled into her skull for her whole life and she's just come to accept it#neurodivergent#ADHD#neurodiversity#adhd problems#sexism
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Being sheltered as a kid sometimes feels incredibly autistic
#me mimicking my friends' typing styles from discord since I'd never had social media and didn't know how to type casually#me staying back and observing at my first time at a public high school (my high school doesn't count) so I could tell the dynamics and matc#the vibes and not stand out (I failed as soon as I opened my mouth)#me not knowing even old trends and not realizing why folks could tell I was different or why I couldn't fit in#or me learning a few slang words/terms and spamming them on shuffle to try to fit in#and me now knowing some things but randomly finding stuff I *should* know but don't and I can't bring myself to tell folks the#teasing just reminds me of the me before I could “mask”#to be fair my audhd probably played a role in all this anyway lol#actually autistic#autism#a glimpse into my real life lol
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