#i especially like engie and scout :]

[rexscanonwife]

Ever since I saw @em-doods' Spider-Scout design I've been itching to draw it, I love him sooo much!! 😊🫶💖 (zooms under cut!)

[dogtistic-swag]

fuck it opening requests for the mercs, give me things to draw so long as it isnt proship and ill do a little doodle

[oldkamelle]

oh goodness me, it's unwarranted fic rec o'clock:

[lunatic-pudge]

TF2 Mercs Green Flags (except it's very biased)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love my boys. Yes, this is biased and questionable. But this is meant to be cute and fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout:

-Silly little goober, great person to be around when you need cheering up

-Golden retreiver boyfriend

-Can easily make you laugh without even trying

-Artsy fartsy

Pyro

-Cutie patootie who makes the cutest drawings of you two together

-Owns an Easy Bake Oven

-Master at baking, never-ending supply of sweets for you to indulge in

-Your biggest supporter. Would literally cheer for you if you rob a bank

Soldier

-Also your biggest supporter, will demand that other adore you as well

-Will let you own any pet you want no matter what the animal is

-Speeches of why you're the best thing to ever exist and how America is blessed to have such a beauty like you live there

-Will give you anything and everything you could ever want, like human ears. Definitely a good person to be if you like collecting weird stuff

Demo

-Precious baby boy is a major cuddle bug

-Def knows how to knit/crochet, will make you whatever you want

-Baby man likes learning about folklore/mythology

-He's essentially a big walking teddy bear. Perfect for cuddles, especially on a cold or rainy day

Heavy

-GIANT WALKING TEDDY BEAR

-Protective baby boy, big scary dog privleges

-Bookworm, can recommend a good book if you don't know what to read

-Perfect person to lay around and cuddle with, he can smother me any day. Dates at home are TOP TIER

Engie

-THE BEST PERSON TO GO TO WHEN YOU'RE HAVING AN OFF DAY HANDS DOWN

-Smart boy, can make you stuff that helps with day to day activities which is helpful if you can't do certain things to having a disability or something

-Dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, can't get enough of it

-Voice of an angel, will sing for you if you'd like. Can def sing you to sleep

Medic

-NERD, he's an adorable nerd! Let him ramble about his hyperfixations!

-Def a good pet owner, would kill someone if they don't take proper care of their pets

-Would make sure you take care of yourself, he's kinda like a dad that cares

-He's such a maniac. I can see him just secretly being up to no good all the time. And he's also very girlypop

-Putting an extra for him cause I can: Medic boobs. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

Sniper

-Sweet, precious baby boy who can do no wrong. He strikes me as someone who listens to EVERYTHING when it comes to music. He ain't genrephobic

-Also a collector of weird things. Likes making bone jewlery. Bone boy

-I just love the concept of him being feral? This is probably the weirdest thing on the list. Like there's the golden retreiver boyfriend (Scout), and then there's the feral boyfriend (Sniper). Literally acts like a cat, hiding away from people, hissing when people that aren't you tries to touch him, will demand attention/affection from you, ect. I need to make a more detailed idea of a feral boyfriend so work with me plz

-He would absolutely let you wear his clothes, thinking about how adorable you look. He'd do the same with your clothes if they're big enough for his lanky body. You two swap jackets in the winter time so you guys always have a piece of each other when you two are busy and aren't able to see each other

Spy

-I know a running joke is that Spy is a smelly French asshole, but I really do think that he wears some of the nicest smelling cologne out there. Expensive af colonge, but damn, it's addicting

-Smarty pants. Not just anyone can be a spy, it takes quite a bit of intellect for it. And not to mentions he knows multiple languages? Love it, even if I hate the French language with a burning passion

-Him having a good taste in fashion? He's gotta know what he's doing by wearing suits all the time. Not only does he look fresh af, but people always look so good in a suit, especially when it fits them. But please also picture him dressed in a more romantic goth aesthetic plz, okay I'll stop now

-Is good at paying attention to even the littlest of details about his partners. Even if you're trying to be cryptic or subtle about things, he'll always find out. He's def a protective type too

[jevilowo]

How the mercs would play tf2

Scout is a Heavy main bc he likes the POWER. He tried playing as himself but kept dying bc of low health and got pissed. Constantly yelling for Medic. The 124hp disease is eternal.

Soldier only plays as himself because it's American. Keeps ragequitting. Can't figure out how to rocket jump in game. Has broken 79284654 keyboards in rage.

Pyro plays as themself mostly, but I can see them messing around as other classes on occasion. I think they'd get a kick out of playing Medic sometimes. Still, they're mostly themself and one of those players you think are friendlies bc they do mannrobics over and over but then they unleash fiery death upon you.

Demo would try to play himself but accidentally clicks on a different class and ends up being really good at that too despite being absolutely fucking hammered. Can't aim meelees for shit (just like me fr) but is alright with regular guns. Especially enjoys the wonders of w + m1ing people as Pyro.

Heavy plays himself obviously. Don't think he'd be into playing anyone else, except maybe as medic to pocket his sisters if they played (Zhanna is also a Heavy main btw). He'd be really bad at first but get good really fast. Always remembers to throw sandviches to the medics like (gigachad)

Engie would only play himself, but I think he'd get distracted thinking of ways to improve the game. Only plays in five minute bursts and spends the rest of his time building mods to improve The Experience. Pyro guards his buildings vigilantly between these bursts and they rarely crumble under their watchful gaze and neon sign of sapper destruction.

Medic plays himself mostly, but usually as a battle medic. Ze healing is not as rewarding and all that. I think he'd also be into the POWER (like Scout) of playing massive damage dealing classes (like Pyro, Heavy and Soldier) because again. Hurting.

Sniper would only play himself no exceptions. Slowly evolves into one of those 3000hr 4channer sniper mains and gets ridiculously competitive about the whole thing. Gets so caught up in headshotting he forgets he has a secondary weapon and meelee and dies easily to spies.

Spy abhors the game as a whole, especially playing himself, as it doesn't "accurately portray the intricacies of being a spy" or whatever. Plays occasionally to troll under an alt account but tell no one or he'll fuck your mother.

Miss Pauling would enjoy playing Demo I think, going off vibes alone, but she'd get a kick out of Scout on 2fort matches specifically because it's Efficient for Objective Completion.

Admin is, like Spy, beyond such frivolities. If she ever bothered I think she'd enjoy Sniper or Spy as she too spends a lot of time Staring.

Saxton Hale only plays on his own mode, and as Heavy when not as himself. Hes really fucking annoying about it.

Like I said, Zhanna's defo a Heavy main, but plays Soldier sometimes to bond with her husband. She's way better than him, obviously.

Merasmus hates Soldier and will ragequit any match with Soldiers in them which means he doesnt play often. When he does, however, he likes to be a Demoknight.

Scout's Ma plays Pyro. Like Ms Pauling, this is vibes alone, but she'd also play Spy and Scout sometimes as they are her boyfriend/son.

Grey Mann wouldn't play he'd just infest the game with more bots because he sucks like that.

[ballad-of-birdy-lamb]

Saw your post about TF2 being added to your list so here I am 🙏 I would like the one and only bed sharing trope with gender neutral reader, with heavy (my bbg) sniper, engie, and scout 💚 thank you ❗

Intertwined, sewn together.

Heavy/Sniper/Engineer/Scout x Gender Neutral! Reader separate romantic headcanons Summary: The hotel you were staying at with the mercs accidentally gave you a one bed hotel room. Warnings: probably OOC :( Word count: 1.1k ⋆｡°•☁︎

Heavy:

He’s very calm when it comes to sharing a bed since he’s done so with his family and you will be his lover someday, so he’s ready to get used to sharing a bed with you.

Heavy isn’t nervous about it since he thinks of it as simple and just job related but can’t deny the fact, he’s a little smug about spending sleeping time in the same bed.

By far easiest to sleep in the same bed with but he’s a furnace and huge. He’ll warm the bed like it’s electrical and keep you close, whether that be because of you or him wanting to be near or his size. It has got to do with living in the cold Russian mountains his entire life, he’s so used to the cold he never realizes how much heat he radiates.

You better hope the bed is big, Sasha’s going to sleep on the bed too, like a baby.

“Sasha will sleep in bed too, no changes from home.”

Heavy is a quiet and deep sleeper, more likely will not notice when you (eventually) fall off the bed from his size and Sasha. The harsh snow and windstorms have made him a deep sleeper.

He’s not the type to be insanely cuddly while asleep since he likes personal space. It’s an effect of growing up in a lonely Russian mountain and more likely having to share rooms/beds with his sisters. He needs personal space and likes it. But he likes you too, so you can be an exception.

If it’s exceptionally cold, he’ll (sadly) move Sasha to let you sleep against him for extra warmth, it’s not like the hotel is of good quality so it’s likely to happen. Heavy has a good time when that happens since he likes knowing you’re doing it on your own, not being forced by him and it gives him a reason to think you like him more.

Sniper:

He’ll act like it’s not a big deal when you’re given a room with only one bed, and it’s true, he doesn’t view it as a big deal. He’s sharing a bed with you. You! It’s when it reaches a basic time to go to bed does it sink in.

He probably has to be forced to sleep in a bed since he’s grown so used to sleeping in chairs for his job, having to be up quickly has its disadvantages. His back hurts from laying horizontally sometimes since he’s so accustomed to stools.

It’s not a particularly great experience for him or you sleeping in the same bed, especially since he views you as more than a friend. Sniper will be so stiff when lying next to you, it's insane, sheet metal build the entire night.

He wakes up so many times in the night to go to the bathroom, it’s insane. You have to be a deep ass sleeper to not wake from it every twenty minutes (at least).

While he’s stiff lying next to you from anxiety, he’ll quietly admire you. It’ll just be looking over your sleeping face. He’s a sniper of all things, he’s good with detail and he’ll find every little thing about you. The way your eyelashes tilt, the softness of your lips, and the basic movements and sounds you make while you sleep.

If you’re the cuddly type while you sleep, he’ll be ten times stiffer and won’t know what to do but will just get used to it throughout the night. Sniper won’t try wrapping his arms around you until he feels too tired to care. But after that he’ll hold you real tightly.

Engineer:

Honestly, one of the easier to be around when sleeping in the same bed, he’s very vocal about wanting your comfort, not just because it’s a basic thing to do, but because he genuinely wants you to be comfortable. He likes you and doesn’t want you running off because you possibly find him creepy.

Engineer’s still got that southern charm when it comes to this specific event since he is very intent on your willingness to do anything beyond platonic. If you suggest sleeping on the floor, he’ll encourage sleeping in the same bed.

“It’s just a bed, it’s not like anything more will happen anyway. It’s better anyway for your back.”

He is so similar to Sniper since he rarely gets to his bed to sleep, he’ll just end up sleeping somewhere random in his shop, which is why he has extra blankets in there. But now, he’s more inclined to be in bed.

He sleeps like a dad, snoring and stuff, possibly CPAP worthy but leave that to Medic to figure out. He doesn’t move too much though, just occasionally shifting in his sleep but it’s comfortable enough.

He’s very soft and you can accidentally move to cuddle him. Engineer would wake up suddenly in the night, looking over at you instinctively to see if you’re alright and would find you pressed into his side. He’d smile about it, in a smug kind of way but genuine happiness since you feel comfortable doing such a thing with him.

Scout:

When you got to the hotel and found out there was a mistake and you needed to share a bed, he was so excited. He’s been showing off so much for you.

He’s the most prominent in acting like sharing a bed isn’t eating him alive. Scout’s insanely confident but it’s not something he’s done with someone he’s liked before. He’s beyond giddy to be fair.

It wouldn’t be too surprising if he’s used to sleeping in a bed with other people, not because he gets play ever, but because he’s used to sharing beds with his siblings. He knows how squished together he needs to be to not be swung at for being too close to someone while sleeping.

“Don’t worry, there will be enough room on the bed for you even with me and my huge muscles.”

Just before you’re ready to go to bed, he’ll go into the hotel room's bathroom and hype himself up. Ok, someone hot is in his bed, which means good stuff because you’re hot and in the same bed as him!

At the same time, he’s sweating buckets. Scout is nervous because he’s asked if you’d ever want to sleep in the same bed as him and now it’s happening! You’re so close and your skin seems so soft, and you smell so nice and you’re so nice!

He kicks in his sleep, aggressively too. He’s like a dog that runs in its dream and does it physically too.

Scout will hold your hand when he randomly wakes in the middle of the night, it’s the farthest he’ll go because he would want you conscious when he gives you kisses. He wants you to remember how awesome a kiss would be from him!

⋆｡°•☁︎

Insanely OOC but first TF2 request!! Thank you so much for requesting!!

My tf2 masterlist

[prettyboypistol]

What if... stuff that m!reader does/can do that makes the mercs flustered? even if its just making them a little embarrassed i need to know!!!

What You Do That Flusters the Mercs! || TF2 x M!Reader

Scout

He likes watching you socialize with people, you naturally lean on walls and tilt your neck up when you laugh- god damn, you look so hot when you laugh!

For some reason, when you throw things and catch them. He has no idea why it just makes his heart skips a beat.

When you focus and your eyebrows knit together and it deadass just stares at you.

Soldier

DISPLAYS. OF. POWER. Deadlift something. Throw an enemy off a cliff. Threaten a Spy and scare him. Solly will never fucking recover.

Independence and general "coolness" makes Jane stumble over his words! You don't need a man, yet you still ask him to assist you? He feels so honored!

Asking for help casually, like said above. When you extend your hand out to grab something from him it makes Soldier scream internally.

Pyro

The fact that you're kind to people makes them like you. You're sweet and polite and cordial when you want to be. You're not annoying or hard ot read or obnoxious- you're just kind.

When you take your time with things to understand them. They daydream about spilling all their secrets to you.

Protectiveness really flusters Pyro. One time in battle, Pyro was cornered. You slammed the Scouts with a metal pole and growled that "nobody touches our Pyro!". They haven't stopped thinking about that. Nor will they ever.

Demo

Tavish is enamoured with your sense of humor. He loves how you're quick to make a joke and open to laughing at anything.

Can't help but blush when you stare at him. Yeah, half of the times you stare, you're spacing out, but Tavish still looks away and is flushed a pretty deep red.

The joking flirting??? YEAH HE STARTED IT BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE ALLOWED TO BE THAT HOT

Engie

Hard work and general work ethic.

Dell is super insecure about the fact the finds you super hot when you're sweaty. After a battle or working out is when Dell seems to linger around, stealing glances at you.

WHEN. YOU. PRAISE. HIS. INVENTIONS. That replays in his head all week long.

Heavy

He likes to watch you spar with people with stuff like wrestling/boxing, especially when you swing Scout around like a baseball bat.

There was one time where you and Heavy were in a tough spot against the enemy team, down by 4 kills. There was just something in your eye that had a light of fire and determination. Seeing that is how he fell for you.

Cook for this man please he will love you and blush forever.

Medic

CASUAL KNOWLEDGE ABOUT MEDICAL PAPERS AND SCIENTIFIC STUDIES. GOD YES.

Cooing with his birds??? He wants to pick you up and spin you around and kiss you and-

He really likes when you challenge him. You give this confident smirk and your tone shifts that make Medic want to just scream about how handsome you are.

Spy

Spy's a man with refined taste. He likes his men like he likes his wine: aged finely and polished to perfection. He likes when you're classy and get onto the others about acting crass and classless.

If you can dance, Spy absolutely pulls some strings to have you two on a mission where you two are in matching suits and dancing together.

Spy once was muttering to himself in french and you catch him and you just lean over the back of the couch, look down at him with a knowing smile and just respond in french as well "now now, a lady shouldn't scowl like that." He knew you meant it as a playful insult, but he blushed wildly under his mask.

Sniper

Mick's downright horrendously flustered when you make eye contact with him. You're a tad shorter than he is, so you looking up from behind to him makes Mick shake in his boots.

Bro please don't grunt/groan in effort at anything. He will NOT stop thinking about that.

When you accidentally look at him during missions. He's always keeping an eye on you, so when you stare back at him it makes his heart flutter.

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

hiiii! Can I request all mercs w/ somebody who doesn’t talk due to self consciousness, but to an extreme? Like smbody who only says a few words a month and talks rly quiet.

if you need to choose specific mercs, either medic, sniper, or Engi <3

/p

(Some) TF2 Mercs and a semi silent S/O

Warning: Medic. Just Medic in general honestly.

—————————-

Engineer:

- To be honest, he has no idea how to cope with this at first and he’s rather thrilled to meet somebody like this. Engineer talks people’s ears off when they’re willing to listen and you’re no exception. Your silence makes his flood gates of pointless information open up and one could easily mistake him for Scout in this moment.

- Uhhh… Why aren’t you responding to his theory on black holes? Eh, who cares. He stops talking after a while and you watch him scribble calculations on a small sticky note mindlessly. He doesn’t seem too offended by it. He’s more than happy to sit in somebody’s presence quietly all night.

- Engineer starts to notice after a while that you just.. RARELY talk at all. Not that it bugs him much, but he starts to suspect some sort of trauma disorder.. Or something along those lines. His mind is going crazy with possibilities as to why but ultimately never asks out of worry he’ll erode something you left behind in the past.

- Prolonged and completely dead silent eye contact is rather easy for you with him. Even if this doesn’t naturally come easily. You can’t make out any eyes behind those dark goggles of his. Oddly comforting.

- You swore you caught a smug smile creep up on his face a bit when you finally do say something. As if he was thinking ‘AHA! I knew my charisma would pay off eventually.’ This gotcha moment for him makes his ego massively inflate. This is Engineer. What do you expect? He knows he’s smart, and always plays his cards right. Manipulative bastard.

—————————————————————————

Sniper:

- Notices you’re starting to hang out with him more in a window he likes to camp at. He properly identified you as a fellow introvert from the start. Your mutism is noted, your presence is noted.. and rudely fucking ignored.

- Sniper doesn’t typically find anybody too interesting. Yes, even those who are quiet. He’s not a people person by any means, and only feels intrigue rarely. I guess you were that rare person evidently. He never even looks your way even ONCE as you sit there with him, but today was different. You saw his attention divert momentarily.

- “At least Y/N doesn’t fuckin’ talk my ears off like a bloody nonce trying to proclaim his innocence to a brick wall. You wanna know who drives me the LEAST insane in this bin? People like them. People who don’t talk their arses off and instead focus on a clean shot. Focus on the bloody job.”

- Next, you find an extra cup of coffee on the table in the nest that morning. It’s clearly not meant for him and you’re the only person who sits with him. He doesn’t even look at you as you pick it up.

- Begins to become slightly irritated when you break routine and don’t show up. Starts grumpily asking around for you and you notice this quite quickly. Dude has completely let his emotions clear to you and he’s oblivious to it. The reason you were absent that day is because you needed extra bed rest. (Existence is tiring.)

- You wake up to find him sitting at the edge of your bed reading a fucking newspaper. Yes, i’m not even joking. He’s so angry at you for not showing up that he decided to show up for you.

————————————————————————-

Medic:

- Medic doesn’t.. Process empathy/compassion like most people do. I’ve alluded to this before. He is very, very bad with emotions. For some reason your silence bugs him in a certain way. It worries him slightly, and he REALLY doesn’t like it. Especially since he can’t exactly ask the cause of it. He wouldn’t get a clear response back. Or just get shrugged off and assured it was nothing.

- You sit at the opposite side of his desk and hang out with him every night. Your sleep schedule had been recently fucked. Medic doesn’t even try to tell you to go to bed or school you on a night’s rest like he would everyone else. Instead when he’s not writing, he taps his pencil on the desk and stares at you… menacingly. Is he judging you?! He narrows his eyes. He’s definitely judging you. He has to be. Right?

- Indirect and awkward staring contest for a fucking hour. You begin to grow nervous because it’s like he’s trying to fucking beam thoughts directly into your head telepathically. It looks like he’s trying to use the fucking force to choke you. What the hell is going on through his head? Was he thinking about gutting you like he’s expressed for pretty much everyone else?!

- Stops staring to get up and use his coffee machine. Comes back and continues staring. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??!?!

[meiliarotten]

i need the insight of the tf2 smut expert (complimentary) on this one... which of the mercs prefers tits and which one prefers ass?

First off- I am honored to be considered the tf2 smut expert. Now- on to the ultimate question.

🍑 or 🍒?

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

The Masterlist

👟 Scout 👟

Oooooh I had to ponder this one for a long while. Now, I personally headcanon Scout as bi (like me), so I finally decided he likes both, but specifically tits for women and ass for men. If you’re non-binary it’s a coin toss. As in he’ll probably literally flip a damn coin.

🦅 Soldier 🦅

My reasoning here literally had me looking up muscle groups in the human body. Soldier strikes me as a man attracted to strength. Literally look at Zhanna. She definitely pegs him and he’s not ashamed of it. As such, I think he’s an ass man- largest muscle in the body, y’know? Yeah. My high school biology teacher would be proud to see what I’m doing with that hard earned education.

🔥 Pyro 🔥

Pyro likes any squishable soft part of your body- tits, ass, belly, it’s all fair game, but if they had to choose, they would go with tits. They’re the easiest to squeeze if they hug you from behind, they like the way they feel when you’re cuddling and they’re pressed up against them, big or small, breasts are just perfect! Plus, if you have an especially sensitive chest, Pyro will definitely take full advantage of that during foreplay

💥 Demo 💥

For Demo, it comes down to what’s easiest to grab in the moment- and that tends to be your ass. It’s easy to give it a quick squeeze in the corner of a bar or even in passing on the battlefield, just to tease you a bit- tits aren’t nearly as subtle. So yeah, it’s ass all the way for this one.

🥊 Heavy 🥊

I struggled with this for a long while but I finally settled on tits. Heavy is much bigger than most of his lovers, and so he prefers for them to ride on top so that they can take him at their own pace. This position makes it pretty easy for him to caress your chest or simply watch the way your tits bounce as you ride him. It’s a view he can’t get enough of!

🔧 Engie 🔧

Ass. I had to consult a fellow smut expert on this one cause I was stuck, and they’re reasoning basically boils down to a particular smutty scenario where Engie bends you over his desk and goes to town- hence resulting in the ass preference. I also personal feel like he wouldn’t be shy about spanking either.

🏥 Medic 🏥

Assl Tits. THIGHS. I will perish on this hill, Medic is a thigh appreciator above all else. Mans will go down on you for hours just to be cushioned between a pair of thighs. He’ll leave bite marks on the soft flesh. A pair of thigh high stockings will fucking slay him, as illustrated in this fic by lil ol me.

🦘 Sniper 🦘

Ass for sure. This might have something to do with the “wild man” energy Sniper gives off. Something about him just screams feral, and that includes taking you ass up and face down whenever the mood arises.

🌹 Spy 🌹

Tits, especially if they’re accentuated with some fancy lingerie. Spy will gladly worship your chest if you want him to. He’ll even buy you outfits that show off your curves with plunging necklines just for him to admire you in. Kinda like a sugar daddy

So yeah, those are my hot takes on what each merc prefers. You want a source? My source is that I made it the fuck up

Jk, this is all in good fun, and I’d love to see y’all’s opinions as well! These are the discussions we should be having, people!

[crabonfire]

Engineer! cuddling you for the first time and falling asleep afterwards 🗣🗣💯🔥🔥

character: engie

note: I was reminded my a mutual that I have a fucking tumblr blog 😭😭😭 so here's uh yeah engie posting cause I miss him and also...this one goes out to u moot... xoxo...

also it's 4 am and I wanted to make this short but...yk me...I'm a yapper ☺️

also first 4 paragraphs are just a bit of backstory but you can skip that!!!

warnings: this is CORNYYYY super CHEESY so BE WARNED 🥶🥶🥶🥶

and also I'm making the reader the shy one ❤️ not engie ILL MAKE ONE WHERE ENGIE IS SHY OKKKK calm down

♡♡♡

• I had a lot of different scenarios for this but I'm choosing this one cause I feel like it fits ❤️

• It was a hard day for the both of you. Your team had suffered an embarrassing loss, with scout constantly dying to the enemy's sentries and spy getting caught by the pyro again and again. It was especially bad for you, though. You got three whole kills, a devastating drop from your usual 7.

• And Engie? He got tired of getting his sentries sapped over and over. His usually flawless strategy crumbled at the enemy spy who kept on tearing down his defenses. After he made dinner for the team, you saw him dissappear into his workshop, and not coming out at all after that.

• You tried to sleep it off, but one, you were disappointed in your performance today, and two... you wanted to see how Engie was doing.

It was, what, 2 am? 3? But who cares, right? You missed your boyfriend, and you could tell he was still awake when you walked over to his workshop and saw the light pouring out from the door.

There was no sound as you approached the door. Maybe he was asleep? You hesitated, but you opened it quietly, careful not to potentially wake him.

• But he was awake. His back was hunched over, goggles still attached firmly to his eyes. He definitely had creases in his face from how much he wore them. And that signature hardhat of his. He sat staring at- whatever contraption he was working on.

He didn't notice you, walking over and standing behind him, quietly taking a look at what it was he was so focused on. A little remote, you had never seen it before, but you assumed it had something to do with his sentries.

"What'cha working on?"

• He visibly flinched, not expecting to hear your voice. He blinked, shaking his head and turning to look at you.

"Darlin'! Ya scared me."

He chuckled, his voice was low and rasped as if he hadn't spoken or drank in a while. Now all he wore was a t shirt and more comfortable joggers, atleast he bothered to put on something softer before working.

He gave you a small smile, but you could tell from his voice and the creases near his eyes that he was exhausted.

"What're you doin' up so late? I thought you'd be asleep by now."

He commented very ironically, that smile still plastered staying even with the exhaustion written on his face. You stood there for a moment, before crossing your arms and tilting your head, mimicking that smile.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Another chuckle, this one less energetic and strained. He looked over at what he worked on, "I'm workin' on somethin' that I think will really bring us back. Its just...lots of trial and error." He looked back to you, taking off his hardhat and setting it to the side.

"But I think I'll take a break from that. Did ya need somethin' from me?"

You blinked, realizing that, you didn't really have anything to talk about or do with him. After a moment of contemplation, you shrugged and went quiet when you spoke.

"I...no, not really. I just missed you."

• You two hadn't been dating for very long at all, so admitting all this lovey dovey stuff was embarrassing. You couldn't see his expression too well, but the way his lips curled into a big smile made your knees feel weak. It was like his exhaustion faded at your words, as he fully turned back to you and hummed.

"Ya missed me, huh?"

He felt so happy hearing you say that. He couldn't help it, the sudden shyness in your tone made his heart skip a beat. "I missed you too, sugar."

• Your own lips formed a smile when he said that, and that little pet name? He could make any corny nickname into something cute. You two just stared at each other for a little bit, before he broke the silence with a small yawn.

He murmured a quiet "sorry", which made you giggle. Even if it had only been a minute or two, seeing him had already made you feel better about how your day went.

• You approached him as he sat on his chair, he stared quietly, tilting his head with a smile when you stopped and stood closely over him. You hesitated, but quickly blurted it out.

"Can we...yknow.."

You made a gesture with your hand which he couldn't help but smile at.

"Cuddle?"

It sounded so silly and embarrassing to say outloud. But you two were adults, goddammit. And you had to engage in some sort of cheesy romantic thing if this was gonna be a real thing.

He looked even more surprised then when you admitted you missed him, and somehow, his big smile grew even bigger. He nodded, chuckling once more and finding your hesitance charming.

"Of course we can, darlin'. C'mere."

• He wasn't nervous at all. Well- maybe a little. But definitely not more than you.

"How do I-"

You hovered awkwardly over his sitting form, but he only opened his arms up to you, his hand gently guiding your waist as he pulled you closer. He watched your nervous face, feeling his heart beat quicken at the way you seemed so scared to "mess up" or make him uncomfortable.

You sat down onto his lap, your chests close together as you settled your arms against his shoulders. This was the first time you two were this close. Everything else was just- a short hug or a kiss that lasted a little longer than most. You stared through the lenses of his goggles, it was a little silly but, you found the sight to be endearing. He felt the exact same.

His arms slowly wrapped around your body, making sure you were comfortable, too. You spoke up quietly, feeling a bit more nervous when you realized how close your faces were.

"Is...is this okay?" He only nodded.

"Mhm. More than okay."

• You relaxed a little bit more as you looked at his calm expression, and slowly, wrapped your own arms around him too. Feeling braver, you rested your head on his shoulder and sighed. You had been needing this. His body was so warm, so nice, like an oven.

He had been needing this too. He didn't realize how tense he had been until he calmed down from the feeling of your weight on him, his muscles could relax. He had been waiting for this, honestly. He wished it had happened sooner because if he knew how nice it would feel, he would've done it at any chance he got.

Being able to hold you felt therapeutic, felt comfortable and familiar. He leaned against the table as you settled in his lap, his eyes closed as he could hear the sound of your faint breathing. He hoped you couldn't hear the fast beating of his heart, but you secretly hoped he couldn't hear yours.

• "This is nice."

You mumbled quietly. He hummed softly in response. Your voice sounded so nice to him, so quiet, you could lull him to sleep and he wouldn't complain. He could never complain.

Instinctively, he started to rub random circles around your back, your own eyes closing at the soothing feeling.

• You'd break the silence occasionally by talking about random things that he'd be happy to answer. He was supposed to take a small break and go back to work but...you had fallen asleep. Well, how could he work if you were sound asleep on his lap, hm? Guess it would have to wait till tomorrow.

♡♡♡

was that a satisfying ending I can't tell I'm so tired OMG this was lowkey me rambling sorry for shit writing English not first language + I haven't written in so long kmg.

[rexscanonwife]

Now it's 2:30am and inexplicably I'm thinking about Engie 🥺🫶 I'm also thinking about Scout!!

[papil0nglegs]

What about the mercs with a fem SO that talks in brainrot sometimes? Would really want medic in there but it's up to you!

Mercs x Brainrot!Reader

A/n: WHY IS THE TF2 FANDOM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS IDEA? 😭 I SAW ANOTHER FIC ABT THIS AND TWO REQUESTS ASKING FOR THIS PLS

warnings: Brainrot.. a lot of images being used, it’s a shit post who cares tbh

Scout

He’s into it too

Guys it’s scout

“Scout ilysm ur so nonchalant <33”

“Thanks babe ^^ I know I’m pretty alpha”

(Oh btw the alpha thing isn’t a joke he unironically listens to alpha male podcasts)

In the middle of spy’s serious moments you’d both lip sync ‘you are my sunshine’ to each other when he’s not looking

“what the bloody hell are you guys doing..”

“…perhaps itz a coping mechanizm zince scout doesn’t have a father?”

Medic really had to take it there

The ‘fatherless child’ meme was a coping mechanism for him tho

“I’m a fatherless child, of course I have abandonment issues”

“Um babe? Idk if you should joke abt that 😚”

“Na it just makes me more sigma”

You guys love to fuck with the blu team sm with your shenanigans, esp sniper!!

Scout would have his bat and you would have whatever weapon you have with you and yell “skibidi” before jumping him

Here’s something he DEFINITELY didn’t learn from you 💯

creds to urwhouchoose2b on Tik tok

Engineer

He tries so hard to understand

Whenever you show him a meme he does the classic old person holding phone away from eyes thing

Yk the

“Ok so this is the ‘im nothing like y’all’ fish”

“alrighty, and this is..?”

“Oh that’s the Freddy five bear meme, see it’s funny cuz his name is actually ‘Freddy fazbear’ but they got his name wrong so like.. yeah”

“…I’m not sure what I’m ‘posed to say ‘bout this, but I think you belong in a looney bin”

Once he had a project that had the word “alpha” in it and he hated mentioning it to you cuz yk

“giggle”

“…what?”

“Skibidi alpha”

“What??”

Demo man

HE LOVES IT LMFAOO

he’s so energetic esp when he’s drunk so he’s happy to have someone he can share that energy with

Y’all know that “Scotland forever” meme

Well you screamed it after another victory as a joke, but when demo heard it he was confused but also excited?

“SCOTLAND FOREVAA”

“OH? ALRIGHT THEN, SCOTLAND FOREVER 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿”

cut to him butt chugging beers

Demo doesn’t get it but he has the spirit

He’ll be right there replicating the TikTok audios after taking the point

Dude is drunk 99% of the time so he’s never bothered to ask what any of this means, he’s just in it for the fun

Once you dragged him to the bathroom since he drake too many beers (shocker) but he didn’t want to do it in the toilet cuz he didn’t want to ‘hurt his dear skibidi’

“Cmon demo you have to puke it out!!”

“Noo, take me to the jawbox I don’t wanna hert me skibidi toilet”

“Oh god what have I done”

I think you rotted his brain a little too much

Spy

Don’t even get him started.

He’s so sick of your antics it’s not even funny

“Guys we all have to remember that it’s not about the money.. it’s about the skibidi.”

Passionately grabs spy’s shoulder

“How have you made it this far in life”

Unlike engie, he really doesn’t want to know about it

Especially during missions

“lol spy you’re so devious ASF”

“shhh, enough blabbering!!”

“You are not carti 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️❌‼️‼️‼️”

You make fun of him a bunch, he can’t think of a single moment where you took him seriously

“Y/n get off the cart!!”

“If we were in Fortnite I’d have higher ground + double pump.”

[miintsprigz]

Hiii again!! I wanted to ask for Sniper, Engie, and Scout reacting to the reader doing something nice for them after they had a tough day. Thank you!!

Anon, I had been wanting the opportunity to do something like this, so bless you, and I hope that you enjoy this! I sorta zoomed through Sniper’s, I hope it’s still good aaaa

Characters: Scout, Engineer, Sniper (TF2)

Warnings: none that I can think of—I made myself very soft while working on this

GN!Reader doing something nice for the Mercs after a tough day

Scout:

You’d noticed for some time that work really seemed to be running Jeremy down more than usual. He came back to base moody, unusually quiet. It was so unlike him.

Thinking back to just a few months ago…what a difference. You remembered how enthusiastically he’d come running in, holding something behind his back…quickly revealed to be a bouquet of bright red roses just for you.

“I didn’t know what your favorite was, so I thought I’d just got wit da classic!”

You had asked a question after that though, one you were especially glad you’d asked now.

“What’s your favorite flower, babe?”

“Me? …huh. Never really thought about that.”

You watched the wheels turn a bit, and a nostalgic kind of look came over him. Jeremy was quite the sentimental guy, if you hung out with him long enough.

“I think one time I got Ma these big yellow ones…lilies? They were real pretty. Smelled nice too. Probably those.”

So one day, a while before you knew he’d be getting back, you went on the hunt. Yellow lilies were tricky to find, but eventually, you secured a whole bunch and had them nicely wrapped up for your favorite fella.

You enjoyed their fragrance as you waited for Jeremy to get back…they truly were beautiful. You could see why he liked them.

Finally, the door swung open, and you quickly hid the bouquet behind your back, just as he had.

He looked exhausted…of course, his face lit up as soon as he saw you. “Ah, finally home. How ya doin’, doll? Sight for sore eyes, as always.”

“I’m good. I got a little surprise for you.”

His brows arched, curious, and you could see that infectious smile that seemed so rare these days beginning to appear again. “Oh yeah?”

“Well okay, might not be too surprising, but…” You sheepishly grinned as you held out his gift. “…I found some.”

Scout’s mouth dropped open just a bit before he couldn’t help but burst out laughing, delighted. “Aw, baby…they’re beautiful!”

You motioned for him to take them, and he did, admiring them with a softness to his gaze. Only seconds later, as he looked up at you, that trademark, somewhat mischievous grin came to his face.

You chuckled. Your boy was back. “Whatcha thinkin’ there?”

“C’mere, you~” He pulled you in and kissed you before you could even prepare.

His free hand lightly brushed through your hair as he pulled back, seeming to be at a genuine loss for words. “You are so sweet, ya know that? I love you.”

Giggling, you pecked his lips once more. “I love you too.”

___

Engineer:

Poor Dell had really been pushed to his limit lately. It felt like you hardly saw him anymore. He was always working on something. The demand kept on coming.

Lately, you had to get up early to get any decent quality time with him before he went to work. When he got home, he always just wanted to go right to sleep, and you certainly couldn’t blame him.

He felt bad, and told you as much, but you knew it wasn’t his fault. “Get your rest, honey. I know you’re tired.”

Even in the morning, he was always up before you were, and had breakfast ready to go. You talked as you ate.

So, after Engie had come back in especially rough shape the night before, with his first day off in months the following day, you decided to surprise him.

You were not, by any means, an early riser. But you had a feeling that Dell wouldn’t sleep in long, even on his day off. You’d even gone to sleep a bit early the night before.

Ever the keen-eyed one, Engie had questioned that. “Goin’ out already, lil’ nightingale?”

“Yeah, I’m sleepy. Besides, we got all day tomorrow, right?”

“Yessiree.”

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you got everything together. It was a whole lot of work, mixing up batter, making sure everything was cooked just right, and of course making the presentation easy on the eyes. But it would all be worth it.

Finally, you were all set. You scurried to his room, knocking to see if he was up.

“Almost ready, darlin’! I’m a little late, sorry ‘bout that…”

“Don’t worry about it, Engie, take your time…” Last thing your cowboy needed was to be rushed around on his day off.

Opening the door, he beamed at you. “Well, look at you! All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed already, huh? I got a feelin’ we’re gonna have a grand day, you ‘n’ me.”

“Oh, just you wait…I’ve got something for ya, baby. C’mon…”

“Whoa, okay—I had a feelin’ you were up to somethin’ last night, ya lil’ schemer…”

You just laughed, excitedly pulling Dell along by the hand.

“Okay, right in here.”

The still sleepy eyes that were normally hidden behind his goggles blinked quick in genuine astonishment as he took it in.

“Well…good word, that’s like the cover of a magazine there, darlin’! You do this all by yer lonesome?”

“Mhm! I got up early in the hopes that I’d beat you to it—can’t have you working hard on your day off! Just hope it tastes good…”

“It will, baby, I’m sure of it…” He trailed off a bit, and as you glanced over, you couldn’t get a grasp on what exactly was going through his head. Seemed happy at least. Maybe you were used to seeing only half of his face. But then he rubbed at his eyes just a bit…

“Oh, baby…you okay?”

“Yeah…just fine, darlin’, sorry, circuits are still a lil’ fried…” He sniffled, and without much thought you wrapped your arm around him, stroking his shoulder.

“Been real tough goin’ lately, real tough…wasn’t feelin’ like myself no more. And ya did all this just for me…for us…”

He leaned his head to the side so it rested softly against yours, taking a deep breath. “Thank you, (Y/N). You are a wonder. I adore you, you know that?”

You chuckled, pulling him close. “Thank you, Dell. I adore you too.”

You felt him jolt a little, but he made sure to kiss you quick before he moved at all. “Please tell me you’re havin’ some a’ this—”

“Yeah! Wanted to make breakfast for you, but eat it with you too.”

“Well, we better not let it get cold now, after ya worked so hard! C’mon, baby…”

You laughed as you were now the one being pulled along, with Engie still praising your hard work and delicious cooking every step of the way.

_____

Sniper:

Lately, Mick hadn’t been telling you what was going on at work…which was weird. Normally, he really liked his job, and told you all about it. Lately though, he’d answered “how was work?” with the vaguest responses.

Sniper wasn’t the type of guy to word vomit about what was bothering him, but that cued you in pretty well.

You wanted to do something to help him, something to lift his spirits again. It took some time, but eventually, you hatched a plan.

One day, instead of waiting back at his camper, you made your way over to where the mercs normally exited the fort.

You waved to the rest as they ran past, more than a few asking what you were doing here. They could figure it was something to do with your boyfriend.

Mick was the last to leave…which was a bit weird. Must have really been working hard.

“Hey, Snipes!” Immediately, his head turned at the sound of your voice, taking a surprised step backwards before he quickly ran and skidded to a stop in front of you.

“(Y/N)? …whatcha doin’ all the way out here, darlin’? Everything alright?”

He looked…confused, but delighted.

“Yeah! I had an idea the other day…and I wanted to meet up with you a little bit earlier so I had more time for it. Let’s go back to the camper so you can change, then I’ll show ya what I mean.”

His eyes narrowed, trying not to smile at this. “Hm…alright. Keep ya secrets for now…”

It was only a moment before his fingers intertwined with yours as you started the short walk back. He tended to be a bit flighty when it came to physical contact, but you understood that.

Once Sniper was done getting ready, you grabbed the basket you’d kept hidden away. “All set?”

“Yep…ya want me blindfolded for this or somethin’?”

“Nah, I don’t want you to trip. Just follow me.”

You followed the path you’d drawn out the other day, although you’d come out here before you’d left the camper to lay out the blanket and get everything all comfortable.

Just as you’d planned, you got to the spot just in time to see the sun go down, and the stars had just started to appear.

A spot near a river, where the only sounds were from the wind and water, with the occasional birdsong and cricket chirp.

You’d had some help on this—Pyro, of all people, providing you with the necessary equipment and tinder for a little campfire. They’d been surprisingly helpful, even though you couldn’t understand them at all.

“I thought it might be nice to enjoy the nice weather and some dinner…oh, and uh, s’mores, if you want. I brought stuff for that.”

The normally more reserved and serious Sniper stood there for a moment, looking everything over. Slowly, this very peaceful smile came to his face.

You were used to him being quiet, but you just had to know what he made of all this.

“I know it’s sorta cheesy, but I hope—whoa!!”

Mick suddenly pulled you in close, holding you tight. You quickly returned the gesture, feeling the side of his face sort of brush against the top of your head.

“…I don’t got much words for this. Besides thank you. Ya have any idea how much I wanted to do somethin like this with ya, roo?”

You laughed a bit, closing your eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t have exactly guessed this, but…I had a feeling you’d been having a tough couple days.”

“You were right.” It took a good while before he pulled back, and even then, his hand still clasped yours. “I was.”

The firelight illuminated his eyes, and although the mellow tone of voice stayed the same, you could see it in his face just how moved he was.

“But that doesn’t even matter to me now. Cuz right now…it’s just you, me, and the stars, baby…c’mon.”

Going slightly rosy—you hoped he couldn’t see in the shadows that the dim light casted—you followed him, and the two of you sat down to enjoy your s’mores and each other’s company.

By the end of the night, both of you laid back on the blanket, full, warm, and happy, curled up together as you watched the stars glimmer above.

You felt a slight tap against your shoulder. “Mm? What’s up, Mick?”

He glanced to the side, once again gaining that shyness that tended to creep up on him. “…ya know how much I love ya?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, moving over a bit to kiss him briefly, eyes fluttering closed.

You pulled back, teasing, “Does that answer your question?”

He looked back at you, starry-eyed and red-faced, starting to laugh along with you.

“Hehe, yeah…yeah it does.”

“But seriously, I love you too—”

[jermer10]

hi! im unsure if your asks are open or not, but can i request headcanon drabbles for mercs (specifically spy, sniper, medic, soldier, engineer) with an s/o who grew up like deep south? like, sometimes their southern accent slips out when they get angry and they grew up hunting and fishing and they say crazy southern things like 'sweating worse than a whore in church'.

love your work! keep it up <3

TF2 mercs with a southern s/o

gn reader | tysm for the req anon!! <3

includes: soldier, engineer, medic, sniper, spy

drabbles under the cut :P

Soldier: - a match made in heaven - he probably met you out hunting, “whatcha’ lookin’ for darlin’?” “COMMIE SCUM” - you had to explain to him that “commie scum” wasn’t tangible nor legal to kill - “NOT IF NO ONE FINDS THE BODIES!” you cant help but burst out laughing at his naivety, Soldier grinning alongside you - he honestly doesn’t get why you’re laughing, but he doesn’t care, your laugh was so addictive - after that you were seldom seen without one another - you’re into all the same hobbies and you have the same temper, the other mercs call you John Doe (soldier likes to pretend that this annoys him but the idea of sharing a last name with you excites him more)

Engineer: - engie met you whilst going back down south for business purposes, you hit it off immediately! - he absolutely adores every inch of you, and finds your common interests a good relaxant when he needs a break from work (which you often have to force him to do) - the other mercs refer to you both as the parents of the team, as much as it makes you both cringe it unfortunately flusters you both to no end - your accent becomes stronger the deeper in conversation you both are - this leads to some very confused mercs, hilarious antics ensue - this also leads to incredibly unfunny alabama jokes whether you're from Alabama or not (courtesy of scout) - you are an inseparable duo, doing mostly everything together!

Medic: - despite what you might believe, medic adores your boisterous personality! - you don't have many common interests, but he will occasionally join you on a hunting trip (especially if you are willing to hunt humans for him to perform medical malpractice on) - he loves your little sayings, finding them absurd and hilarious - "pretty as zhe peach you say?" he muses, a cocky grin plastered on his face - you're both stubborn, so naturally you butt heads over stupid things - but as soon as that accent comes out full force medic sits his german ass down and listens - all in all a power couple if you entertain his more eccentric qualities

Sniper: - this is an 'enemies to lovers' type of deal except the enemy part is one sided - he finds you very offputting at first, chalking you up to being just another loud annoyance and ignoring your attempts to bond - then you take him hunting and his whole world changes - he's never seen someone so precise with a gun other than himself, seeing you hit that deer right between the eyes was like watching fireworks in slow motion - and all at once he fell for you, coming to the not so shocking realization that he might actually not hate you as much as he thought - he still finds you loud and annoying but now he is highly attracted to you and is not as good at hiding it as he thinks - insane introvert x insane extrovert trope my beloved

Spy: - okay his is ACTUALLY an enemies to lovers and HEAVVYY on the lovers part - you do not like eachother and you both make that very clear. - spy considers himself sophisticated and above the sorts of animalistic hobbies you take interest in, you are a 'for the people' kind of person and find the high class world to be inherently exploitative - so you can see where the conflict is coming from then? well good because it all comes crashing down after you get into a screaming match and the deep southern drawl comes out - suddenly his lips are on yours and your hands are gripping the front of his blazer in any attempt to bring him closer - neither of you are open about this relationship you share - everyone knows.

[babycharmander]

How the TF2 Fandom Infantilizes Pyro

NOTE: I am not writing this as a way to attack others. I feel like this is something people might not even realize they're doing, or don't realize why it's wrong, so I wanted to write a post explaining this.

To start, I want to define the term "infantilization." It is defined by Wikipedia as "the prolonged treatment of one who is not a child, as though they are a child." Now, Pyro is a fictional character, so this isn't near as serious as the infantilization of real people, but I feel like it's still important to understand.

So, what are the ways in which the fandom often infantilizes Pyro? Let's go through some different examples:

"Engie is like Pyro's dad, and Pyro is his kid!" and/or "The mercs totally have to babysit Pyro."

While even adults can have father figures in life, more often this situation depicts Engie as a parent and Pyro as effectively acting as a child. Some people like to cite the "True Meaning" comic for this, as it depicts Engie reading a story to Pyro, which, on the surface, does give the vibes of a parent reading a book to a child. 

However, this is not inherently such a thing--being read to is something that can be enjoyed by people of all ages. Heck, I've read stories out loud to groups of college students before.

Another thing to note is that shortly afterward, a rocket strikes Engie's house, and Engie remarks that he and Pyro "mighta just adopted [themselves] a super baby." Note that he doesn't say something like "I mighta just adopted you a younger brother/sister/sibling!" This implies that he views Pyro as being on the same level as himself, not as a child.

The concept of Engie (or any of the other mercs) being a parent to Pyro is often paired with the concept that Pyro cannot be independent, and must be cared for, specifically like a child (as opposed to an adult who may need assistance). We know that this is, canonically, not the case, given how successful Pyro was as a CEO in the "Ring of Fired" comic.

I grouped this one with "the mercs totally have to babysit Pyro" because I feel like it's a similar concept. I will say, I don't feel like it's infantilization to say that Pyro needs to be babysat if you mean it in the sense that under certain circumstances Pyro (and possibly others like Soldier and Scout), if left to their own devices, could cause problems on purpose (such as when Pyro decided to burn a bunch of books in Teufort's library). It's only infantilization if it's meant in the sense of Pyro being incapable of taking care of themself in the way a child cannot.

"Pyro is innocent and unaware that they're causing harm to anyone!" and/or "Pyro would never want to hurt someone!"

The concept that Pyro, who was hired as a mercenary, is completely unaware they're causing harm and would never want to hurt anyone, is infantilization in that it paints them as completely innocent and incapable of wrongdoing, especially intentional wrongdoing.

Not to mention, both of these are wild mischaracterizations of Pyro and factually wrong to boot.

In "Ring of Fired" (page 65), Pyro chops off Soldier's hand just for the heck of it.

In "A Cold Day in Hell" (page 33), we see Pyro knowingly killing a bear. Even when seeing the bear in Pyrovision, they still see it as a threat and deliberately enact violence on it.

In "The Naked and the Dead" (page 130) Pyro is shown to have doused two of Gray Mann's mercenaries in gasoline before igniting them and effectively exploding the warehouse they're in.

We do not know how Pyrovision works, but we do know it does not inhibit them from intentionally causing harm.

"I don't ship Pyro with anyone because Pyro can't consent."

How do I even begin with this one.

There's a lot of issues with the concept of Pyro being unable to consent. It's infantilizing--implying Pyro cannot consent in the way that a child cannot consent--but depending on people's views on how Pyrovision works, it's also extremely ableist. If you are interpreting Pyrovision as something akin to schizophrenia and saying that they cannot consent because of this, you are implying that people with schizophrenia cannot consent, which... do I even need to explain the issues with that?

Now, this isn't to say that you have to ship Pyro with anyone. Nor is it to say that you cannot headcanon Pyro as aro and/or ace! Headcanoning a character as aro and/or ace is very cool and is not inherently infantilizing--so long as you don't have that headcanon specifically because you think Pyro is "innocent" and can't consent.

(I personally don't ship Pyro with anyone and I headcanon them as aroace... because I'm aroace myself and projecting.)

It's okay to not ship them! Just... do it because that's just what you personally want, not because you think it's ~icky~ for them to be involved in anything sexual.

"Pyro's the baby of the team because they like rainbows and unicorns and candy."

Y'know I was just at a party to celebrate the birthdays of several adults, and they had a gummy candy salad that had rainbow unicorns in it.

Enjoying things like rainbows, unicorns, candy, toys, and so on does not make one a child, or immature. Pyro can enjoy all of these things and still very much be an adult!

(This is coming from someone in her 30s who still sleeps with stuffed animals, by the by.)

"Pyro is literally a child. They were hired as a teenager."

This isn't one I see often, but it's one I have seen before. It's more headcanon territory than people claiming this is actually canon, from what I've seen, but here's the thing:

The current mercs got hired in the early/mid 60s (based on Medic's dialogue in "The Naked and the Dead"). Let's say Pyro was 14 at that point. (I don't think the Administrator or Saxton Hale would hire a child, but regardless.) Medic's dialogue implies that the mercs have spent at least eight Halloweens together, which would mean that by the time the comics roll around, Pyro would be, at least, 22... so, very much an adult. And that's lowballing everything.

And again, that's even IF the Adminstrator or Saxton would even consider hiring a child in the first place. Given Saxton wouldn't even fight a child to save his own company, I doubt he would, and given the Administrator wanted to hire capable mercenaries to fight an endless war, I don't know that she'd look to children for the job.

I think that about covers all the points I've seen in the fandom. If I've missed anything, let me know in the reblogs, or if you'd like to add anything to this, feel free to do so.

Also please don't attack anyone over this! I don't think anyone's doing this intentionally, which is why I wanted to write this post in the first place. I hope this was helpful!

[anonomi]

Trucks n' vans is so real y'all. I was on Enclosure right, on Engineer, on defense. My team is kicking BLU's ass hard and I'm feeling bad but I know my sentry's the only thing stopping their 3 scouts from rushing the cart, so I stick to Engie. Anyway we have a Sniper on our team and I tell you the SYNERGY I felt with him was crazy. While everyone else was running around loose, this man was all the way back here with me, siphoning my dispenser and I swear he was my guardian angel because he was protecting me with his life.

A soldier appears and tries to shoot my shit from afar? Sniper snaps him. A demo tries sticky bombing me? This Sniper glances at him and he's gone. The enemy Scout tries pistoling my sentry for some reason, should've never stayed still.

But most of all was this spy. This poor, poor blu spy wanted to take me out so badly. He was on me like red on a barn, he'd run in, sap my shit and jump me with everything he had. Didn't matter if it was in the middle of a firefight or if it was all quiet on the front, he would always ALWAYS show up. Legit this man even flew off the roof (zero idea how he even got up there) to assassin creed my ass. He wanted me six feet deep.

But if he was like red on a barn, our sniper was like gasoline-fueled fire on that barn, cause holy hell. This man was out for this french boy. Like, I'm real used to fighting spies off by myself cause everybody's prancing around in the middle of nowhere and I'm all alone on the left side of nowhere, but this sniper would jump in and tear this spy apart himself. Everytime he showed up, our sniper would jump him hard. He'd quickscope him, shoot him, knife him, jarate him, it was like watching the spy go through the seven layers of hell.

I'm very spy attuned, but it felt like this sniper and I were connected on a wavelength, cause he seriously always knew when I was in trouble, and he especially knew when it was trouble from the spy. Like I have never seen a sniper be as spy hungry as me and legitmately fight by my side like that. We would make eye contact and we would trample the spy together.

It was on the same level as playing medic and having a pocket who understands you so well you swear you are telepathically communicating. I've been playing engineer for years and I never felt or expected that from a sniper. Usually they use my dispenser and then run off, but this man was planted by my side. I felt cared for. I felt protected. I felt like Australian Jesus was watching me with a rifle at the ready. Much love to the snipers on my team use my dispenser anytime you want