#i enjoy pickles and i enjoy corn chips !

[transgaysex]

one of my favourite things to do ever is to try new flavors even when theyre not the best

[carmenberzattosgf]

hi hi!

This is kind of along the same lines as ✨girl dinner✨

But growing up, I was kinda food insecure (ie poor lmao) and when we didn't have money for real groceries we'd do canned tuna, mustard, pickles, and corn chips as our meal. typically just straight out of the can

I'm a grown adult making actual money now but sometimes I crave that meal - much to the horror of my friends. I imagine Carmy being alarmed to see his gf eating tuna straight from a can 😂

This can be a prompt or a blurb or just a funny tidbit to imagine, whatever you want 💕 Just thought it'd be funny to share. I love your writing!

Thank you for sharing and for enjoying my writing anon!!

Please Carmen would be horrified to see you eating something like that-

“What the fuck are you eating right now?”

“It’s girl dinner, Carm. Don’t question it.”

“Not the girl dinner shit- come on let me make you a real meal. Please?”

He’s so sweetie he just wants to make you a really nice meal and you have to explain that you WANT to eat this.

[theagstd]

One Night Stand ; 27

➥ rundown ; as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.

→ genre ; enemies to lovers | CEO au | pregnancy trope | slowburn

→ Jungkook x y/n

→ contains smut, fluff and angst

→ Chapter twenty seven ; wc | 2.7 k

primarily on Wattpad

index ⇢ next chapter

"Jungkook!" you pull him inside by the wrist with a soft smile on your face, he holds the plastic bags higher showing you that he'd gotten everything that you asked for. "Order number 56?" you grab them from him and sit on the couch after placing them on the coffee table, he slides his hands inside his linen pants and observes your actions.

you spill out the contents of the bags and see that he'd gotten not one but three Italian meat chips along with other snacks that you love. the other bag had instant cup noodles, ice cream, sausages, cheese, corn and seaweed.

you look up at him and start giggling. he loves the sound of it, your giggles are music to his ears that makes him exhale in relief. he loves making you happy. it makes him happy too. "you didn't have to do all this, Jungkook."

"I did, I wanted to." he speaks and you tap on the couch beside him so he sits with you so you can share your snacks with him. "I'm waiting to see you try them."

he takes the jar filled with pickled cucumbers and looks at it with a frown on his face, he hasn't tried it before neither have you. he takes the bag of chips and reads the content, shaking his head he doesn't think this is a good idea but he can't say anything. it's for you and you're pregnant.

"believe me when I say I don't wanna have it, my body craves for it and even though it may taste bad-" You rip the packet of crisps and gesture him to open up the jar. "I get this weird satisfied feeling and that feels good." he hums and watches you try to take the mini cucumber.

"I'll get you a fork-" he grabs a clean fork from the drawer and sits back next to you, there's a distance between the two of you, a short distance but he thinks it's better this way although all he wants to do is have you on his lap. you pierce the baby cucumber with the fork in your hand and grab a chip to place it on before throwing it into your mouth. the munching and cracking of the chips are accompanied by the humming and moaning from you.

you throw your head back to the headrest with closed eyes, enjoying the satisfaction that you receive from this craving. "It's that good, huh?" he asks, raising an eyebrow with a smirk on his face.

He finds a different kind of satisfaction just by watching you. "you don't get it!" "of course I don't-" "That's why you should try it." you bring a chip with the cucumber on it, to his face. a sly smile sits on yours when he looks at you with a scowl, his eyes move from the chip to your eyes as you show him an innocent look to trap him.

"there's no way am gonna try this-" "but why-" "this is illegal, it smells unpleasant!" "It's a pickle, what else do you expect!" he turns his head away from you, not wanting to try this pregnancy craving of yours.

he gives up when you batter your puppy eyes at him with a pout on your lips, he can never say no to you when you pout like that. "fine, I'll try it woman!" he opens his mouth so you can feed him, he's still a bit reluctant in trying it but when his tongue tastes the sweetness and freshness from the cucumbers and the spicy meat flavor, he wouldn't mind having one more chip.

Jungkook keeps the scowl on his face though, just so he could trick you. you look at him with sparkling eyes, waiting for a reaction. "how's it?" you ask like a little child and Jungkook can't keep up with his character anymore, he smiles and mumbles while munching.

"it's not too bad- it's good i guess." "See!!!" you clap your hands and continue to have more of it, the crumbs and grease of the chips stick around your mouth, giving you a faint orange border that clings to your lips. Jungkook watches you with a stupid smile, he thinks he can watch you forever.

he'll never be bored. "what's on m- my face? why yo-you looking at me like that?" you mutter with a mouth full of chips glancing at him, he looks away getting flustered that you caught him staring at you. "uh-? so... I'll get back home." "oh..." you look up at him as he stands from his seat. you don't want him to leave, you haven't seen him in hours.

"do you- have to leave? you can stay over." a hint of disappointment and desperation lingers in your voice and eyes when you look at him. you don't wanna sound needy, if he wants to leave then he can but- he can also stay.

he looks at you, Jungkook doesn't want to be a bother but when he can see that you want him to stay just as much as he wants to stay here with you, he nods and smiles. "do you have anything I could fit into?" your face brightens up with a beaming smile, walking to your bedroom you grab the men's t-shirt that you got recently and throw it at him along with sweatpants.

"it's a good thing, I get clothes from the men's section." "maybe I should just pack some clothes for myself and keep them here at all times." he checks the t-shirt that you passed him, pressing it on his chest and humming when it looks like he'll fit into it. "or maybe we should just go back to your place." "yeah su- what?" he stops checking the sweatpants and looks at you with wide eyes.

he's unsure if he heard you accurately, or he just misheard you say that. your eyes flicker to him and the chips. "wouldn't you like me to stay at your place?" you whisper asking him lowly, carefully picking up the crisp from the tip of your index finger and thumb.

"what- no- wait! of course, you should definitely stay at mine!" he says as he grows closer to you, searching for validation from the look of your face, if you meant about going back to his place. "really?" you asked him and he sighs. "could I ever say no?" you look at him and then away, blushing at his words as he does too.

"I'm gonna change-" he rushes inside your bedroom, smiling like a fool as he fists the wall in excitement and happiness. you had enough of the pickle so you sit back on the couch and place the packet of chips on your bump. "Baby, you can be of use sometimes, you know?" you speak and chuckle to yourself caressing the little bump.

you wait for Jungkook and he comes to the living room after a few minutes. He runs his hair with his hand to give himself a more relaxed appearance, rather than having it neatly combed. "hey!" he greets you and you look up at him confused. "hey?" he sits beside you and looks at the chips on your bump pointing at it, he raises his eyebrow. "what?" "want a Ramen?" you look at him, your eyebrows furrowing at his question. he never liked the idea of having instant food but today he wanted to chill with you and have something you like, and that is convenience store food.

Ramen. "of course!" you squeak and put away the chips to help him with it. while boiling the water, you lean against the cabinet waiting by the kettle. he watches you, the way you caress your bump. you look beautiful in that oversized white T-shirt and pajama shorts. your hair is in a low ponytail and your bangs are grown, long as the fall on your face.

he didn't realize that he had walked closer to you, facing you back.  he placed his chin on your shoulder, as you poured the water into the cup noodles. you flinch when he does that at which he apologizes. you try not to smile, this is the first time he'd done this and you blush at the closeness between the two of you. "so, how do you like your ramen?" "full spice, I add the whole packet."

you raise your eyebrows and tilt your head to glance at him. "me too." you say and he hums a mm. The two of you sit on the couch, a blanket on your lap and him beside you. he decides to choose a movie and says you can choose one next time. he plays  'Iron Man' his favorite and voices out how much he loves it and watched it over 15 times and you argue with him saying that Spider-Man is the best, he doesn't argue more because he loves Spider-Man just as much as you.

you both had the noodles with some crushed seaweed, mozzarella cheese and corn, banana milk to down it and a glass of water for you so you have your vitamins. While Jungkook was too distracted by you, you, on the other hand, were fully immersed in the movie playing.

he couldn't stop thinking about last night, how he didn't voice his side very much because he was drunk and he didn't think it was necessary but now, he thinks maybe he wants to let it out. he glances over at your time to time and since you were focused on what's playing in the tv you didn't notice him.

he got tired after some point, he thought, why should he watch you secretly? He leaned his head back against the couch's headrest and turned to face you, openly watching you. you looked over at him with the corner of your eyes, your lips lined in nervousness. under the blanket, your fingers fumbled like you always do when you are anxious, this man is making you feel excitedly anxious. "is something on my face?"

you ask, touching your mouth to feel any of the food stains but you feel none. "beauty." he voices out, which caught you off guard that you freeze on spot and try to not meet his eyes. you bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from smiling and he sees it.

"you can smile." he says so you do, you smile and look at him, he's watching you, his legs resting on the coffee table and head lying on the back cushion. "beauty you say?" he nods, not taking his eyes off you while yours can't stop moving around the room. "about last night-" he begins and you gulp visibly which didn't go unnoticed by him.

"what about it?" "I didn't explain myself enough." you sigh, your eyes softened when they look at him. You turn completely to face him, the movie now entirely forgotten. "you don't have to, you know that- we aren't anything-" "But I want to, your- your opinions matter to me and I just want to be clear with you.

can I?" he speaks, genuinely wanting to open up to you which you understand, you would like that too but you don't want him to feel burdened to tell you anything. "go on." he sits upright bringing his knees on the couch, licking his lips before he begins, his eyes fixated on your fingers. he thinks it would be easier to speak without eye contact.

"Haerin and I were in a relationship for quite some time, she- was everything I wanted her to be." Jungkook speaks, he wants to let it out and be transparent with you. he doesn't have to, he knows it but he still wants to. "the relationship was great, she came into my life when I needed someone. she was there for me during my difficult times, when I began my business.

" you pay attention to his words when he speaks about the woman that he loved. he's got a soft tone, remembering his past and his experiences. "I thought I'd marry her. I was so into her. But as time went on, things got bad. She became dominant in the relationship and wanted control over everything, and I let her have it.

but-" he stops reconsidering if he should tell you the details of it but he avoids it. he decides to save it for another day. "After some time, she started putting me down. She made negative comments, very toxic ones. Very, very toxic. She wanted everything, and I couldn't afford it at that stage in my life- I had just started working as an entrepreneur.

So she left, after giving me toxic lectures and hurting me. I later found out that she had been cheating on me for months."" you watch him, how his voice slowly loses its sound as he speaks. he didn't deserve all that. he remembers how she called him a worthless penny, that he'll never be successful, he'll never find love, he'll never marry, never have kids. she would always tell him to 'man up' whenever he wanted a cuddle.

she made him hate himself. she used him as her sex toy. "she cheated on me every day actually, and would come home to me and spend her nights with me as if nothing happened. I should've known when I saw those hickeys on her neck. but I blindly trusted her.

" he glances at you and sees how concentrated you are, watching the couch while biting your inner cheek. "at the club she jumped on me, but I didn't give her the satisfaction." he says and exhales deeply. somehow letting it out his chest took off a rock from his shoulders. "during all that I lost many people, people I loved. today she even texted me and called me many times, i called you during the evening so my anxiety could go away." you meet his eyes and see the glow of them had disappeared.

he broke his knuckles and chuckled, trying to get away from this serious atmosphere that had been created. "I- I just want to say sorry for letting myself be all over you last night. and you took care of my drunken ass, I gave you so much trouble and- you're pregnant, I shouldn't have been a bother-" "You're not. you weren't. don't apologize for it, please."

you place your hand on his, stopping both his and your fumbling. he takes your hand that you placed on his, his thumb caresses the back of your hand as he looks at how pretty your hand is.

it's so small, so small for him, you fit inside his palm so perfectly. he tries not to cry, he tries to forget how he put himself to sleep when she left him alone in his apartment, he remembers that day so well.

September 1st,  2018.

She slapped him and left him all by himself on his birthday night. Jungkook bites his bottom lip and clenches his jaw in hopes of stopping his tears. he's a man, he doesn't cry. he shouldn't cry. that's what she told him. "hey, Jungkook. are you okay?" you ask him softly, he nods and looks at you with a smile, and his little dimple peaks out.

"I'm fine, I'm good." you take your hand and cup his cheek at which he immediately melts in and takes your warmth, his eyes close as he moves his cheek on your hand and feels you. you're here. he's not alone. he loves your touch, it makes him safe, and he feels safe. he opens his eyes to see yours, you give him a small smile. his eyes flicker from yours to your lips.

he does it again. you feel conscious about your lips when you see him that your tongue swipes on your lower lip unwillingly. he caresses the back of your hand with his thumb, gently.

"can we try again?" he whispers. "try what?" your voice is so soft, it's almost inaudible. but you knew what he meant.

"can I kiss you? Can we do that again, like it's our first time?"

next chapter ⇢

[soft-bellied-tannies]

Chubtober Day 2!

Today's prompt is a combination of two from older Chubtober prompt lists - Fall Fair and Bellyaches & Binges. Enjoy Jungkook eating way too much at the fair!

Read here or on AO3!

---

Jimin had not stopped talking about visiting the fall fair since he found out about it. He always thought it looked so fun filled with bright lights, cute games, and most importantly, delicious food. Jungkook couldn’t possibly say no when Jimin asked if they could spend their entire Saturday at the grand opening of the two-week fair. 

As they stepped onto the fairgrounds, the aroma of warm sugar and freshly popped popcorn filled the air. "Where should we start?" Jimin asked, his eyes scanning the booths of games and food lining both sides of the walkway.

“Well, I’ve always wanted to try a funnel cake and that could pass as a sweet breakfast, right?” Jungkook replied, immediately realizing that Jimin’s desire to visit the fair was actually an amazing idea considering the smells surrounding him. His stomach had started to rumble as soon as they arrived.

Their first stop was at a booth adorned with colorful signs advertising deep-fried delights. They ordered a large funnel cake topped with powdered sugar and strawberries. "Mmm, this is so good," Jimin sighed as he took a few bites. 

As he should have expected, Jimin handed the plate to Jungkook after barely making a dent, saying he wanted to save room for more food. While Jimin had a small appetite, Jungkook knew he could finish off the funnel cake and have more than enough room to continue on their day of taste testing the fair. 

Next, they wandered over to the barbecue stand, enticed by the savory scent of grilled meats. Jungkook couldn't resist ordering multiple sides on top of the pulled pork sandwich Jimin picked out. 

"I think I'm already getting full," Jimin chuckled as he wiped barbecue sauce from his chin, only managing two bites of the sandwich. Jungkook just laughed and accepted the container his boyfriend handed over, encouraging Jimin to try a few bites of the coleslaw and mac and cheese.

Jimin figured they should probably try a game or a ride before buying more food. He knew Jungkook could keep eating well into the day, but he wanted to pace himself to make sure he got to try everything he wanted.

After a few spins around the Ferris wheel and Jungkook taking a few attempts to win Jimin a stuffed bunny at the ring toss game, they made their way back over to the various food booths. Jungkook managed to find the main tent after looking over their map and the food options seemed endless.

The full food stand was offering everything from huge trays of nachos to giant turkey legs to massive ice cream sundaes. Each vendor seemed to outdo the last in terms of portion size and creativity. Jimin couldn't resist buying a bucket of chocolate chip cookies, while Jungkook ordered a jumbo-sized pretzel, a footlong corn dog, a turkey leg, cheese fries loaded with toppings, and a giant deep-fried pickle with a tray full of assorted sauces for everything.

As Jungkook arranged his food on an open picnic table, Jimin returned with an overflowing bucket of cookies, a milkshake, and two sodas. He slid the milkshake toward Jungkook and said he couldn’t resist because it looked so good. 

Jungkook looked at it with a mix of surprise and amusement. "Are you trying to fatten me up?"

“Don’t be silly! I wanted to try it,” Jimin cut back, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend. 

“Min, we both know you never have more than a few sips of any milkshake, especially considering how much we’ve been eating today.”

“But I have you! I get to try everything I want and nothing goes to waste,” Jimin said as he waved his hand toward Jungkook’s full belly.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and tried to hold back his smile. “I’m not a garbage disposal, baby. I’m getting full too.” 

Jimin giggled but nodded in agreement. "Okay, that is fair. Consider it a challenge then," he teased, winking at his boyfriend knowing Jungkook can’t resist any sort of competition. “Also, how could you ask me that looking at all this you ordered for yourself?” 

“Hey! I ordered this for both of us. You love pretzels and you said you wanted to try a turkey leg,” Jungkook replied, defending himself for ordering with his eyes instead of his already full stomach. 

Jimin just kissed his cheek in thanks and sat down, holding back from continuing to tease his sweet boyfriend. It was a date after all and Jungkook was actually doing a great job of making their fair date everything Jimin wanted it to be. 

As Jungkook and Jimin slowly made their way through their spread of fair food, the full weight of their indulgent day settled upon Jungkook. Jimin had five bites at most of any single item, pushing the rest off onto his boyfriend to finish. Jungkook's discomfort became more palpable as he felt his pants fitting less and less comfortably as he ate, his hand subtly adjusting the waistband of his jeans every few minutes.

"You okay, Gguk?" Jimin asked, noticing Jungkook's discomfort.

Jungkook let out a soft groan. "I think I might have overdone it," he admitted sheepishly, leaning back and letting out a deep sigh as he rubbed the top of his full belly. He felt his face warming up a bit, flushed with a wave of self-consciousness once he realized just how much he’d eaten since they arrived at the fair.

"Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that entire turkey leg," Jungkook mused, his voice tinged with amusement in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

As much as Jimin wanted to laugh, he actually had to agree. He hadn’t eaten maybe a quarter of what Jungkook had, yet he was feeling just as full. "I think I've eaten enough to last me a week. I wish I could unbutton my pants," Jimin groaned, pushing the containers toward the center of the table.

Jungkook laughed, thinking that his boyfriend had no room to talk considering his own waistband felt like it would permanently mark his skin with how tight it was at the moment. Somehow though, all things considered, Jungkook was staring at the containers with remnants of food left thinking he shouldn’t let it go to waste. 

Jimin assumed they were done and ready to walk a bit to digest before heading home, but to his surprise, Jungkook actually reached for the last few cookies at the bottom of the bucket. 

“I don’t even know how you are still eating, Jungkookie. You just said you overdid it,” Jimin joked, hoping Jungkook didn’t end up sick from his day full of eating but appreciating how much Jungkook was clearly enjoying their day out.

“Well, like you said, this stuff shouldn’t go to waste. We’ve spent so much money today, might as well get our money's worth,” Jungkook replied before eating one of the cookies in a single bite.

Jimin simply hummed in agreement, reaching across the table to wipe some chocolate from Jungkook’s lip. Then as he started cleaning up the table, Jimin held up any morsel of food left to his boyfriend and watched as Jungkook continued to somehow find room to finish off everything they ordered.

Jungkook let out another deep sigh as he polished off the last cookie, feeling like he was actually at risk of losing the button on his jeans. He could not remember a time he had been so full even with his massive appetite. Jimin took care of him well and always encouraged him to eat as much as he wanted, but his boyfriend had outdone himself that day. 

The walk to the car felt more like a waddle for Jungkook, almost feeling winded as he was still digesting an absurd amount of food. Jimin seemed full himself, but he was moving and talking like normal, going on about how he was so happy that they came to the fair which made Jungkook feel like stuffing himself full of fried food and sugar was worth it, especially seeing Jimin’s bright smile.

Back at home, Jungkook stood in front of the bathroom mirror, examining his reflection with a mixture of amusement and concern. He poked at his now protruding belly, full and round enough to overhang the waistband of his sweatpants and feeling every bite of their big fair food day.

"You know," he said loud enough for Jimin to hear from the bedroom, "I think I might have gained a few pounds today."

Jimin, who made his way to the bathroom, chuckled softly. "Honestly, it’s possible. You really put your appetite to work today," he admitted, joining him in front of the mirror. "But it was worth it, right? I had a great time. I’ve always wanted to go to the fair."

Jungkook nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Definitely worth it, best date we’ve had in a while, but maybe we should lay off the deep-fried everything for a while."

Jimin laughed, gently reaching over to poke at Jungkook’s taut belly. "I promise not to order so much next time.”

They both chuckled at the image of Jimin piling food onto Jungkook's plate throughout the day. Despite his teasing, Jungkook couldn't deny that he felt a twinge of regret over his lack of restraint. "I think I need to hit the gym this week," he said, mostly to himself.

“Or we could go back to the fair. You know, get our steps in and play more games this time. It’s only in town for two weeks. We should make the most of it!”

“Yeah, I guess we should, but I’m definitely hitting the gym after.”

“Of course, babe, whatever you say.”

[happi-meals]

Breakfast, lunch, dinner – March 27, 2024

Today wasnt the best eating day for me. Between a few leftover snacks, like chocolate covered almonds, I didnt eat a lot. 😭

Executive dysfunction can cause some brain fog sometimes, and I didnt get enough sleep again cuz my mattress and pillows .... well let's just say theyre tired and expired lol. But I managed to go back to sleep long enough to have enough energy to make a quick breakfast of vegan grilled cheese with Daiya slices, 2 clemintimes, and a few pickle slices. I added pickles to resemble a grilled cheese order at my job lol (we use spears but chips suffice).

After finally gaining a sense of focus and reorganizing my kitchen to the sound of nostalgic breakcore, dubstep, and hyperpop, I almost forgot to eat a late lunch lol. I was pretty consumed in my efforts, esp since its been days since I could muster up focus and energy to get any tasks done. And my goodness am I behind on so much lol!!! But today was good. I even knew that I'd be busy with chores, so I put a cup of white rice on ahead of time and let it stay warm in the rice cooker. I unplugged it eventually to save on the electricity bill (which, last month's was almost $40 cheaper!!!! YEASSS), so it was a lil cool when I tried it. But before I started the rice when I sat down to eat, I finished a chicken siopao bun first. Always good shit!!!

I poured a bit of sweet chili sauce on the rice bed but then had a craving for platains lol. The local Jamaican store I've been frequenting serves them and while there a bit pricey I like to patronize there cuz i try to support local, small business in a town getting eaten up by corpo franchises and receding small business sectors. I drove out to the restaurant, got my fried plantains to go, and headed to my lola's house to pay a visit and also eat what I got there. (As an aside, I have a feeling that I got it that way bc I arrived 30 mins before they closed but they put the plaintains in a small brown bag, which couldnt quite handle all the grease lol. Just thought that was a lil strange but nothing personal or bad! The cashier offered a seperate bag to me to carry it all in and declined bc I was gonna put the plantains in my rice bowl anyway). I ate the plantains with my rice when I got to lola's house and while the commute made the food a bit cold, the sweet chili sauce gave it a bit of spicy heat to make it a good side dish to the soup lola offered me!

She is filipina and loves to cook. When I got there we were watching a movie, but shortly she asked if I wanted any soup she made, which was hot and sour soup. She makes everything homemade and since a kid I enjoyed her food. It was so good I had two bowls. I'll have to ask her one day how to make such delicious soup her way, so when she returns to the Philipines (one of her goals), I can have more things I learned from her. From what I could taste soup had shitake mushrooms, bamboo stalks, egg flower, and baby corn. So savory yet sour. And vegetarian this time! I could go for another bowl as I type this 🤤.

I left half the rice and a few plantains as leftovers but I might eat them as a night snack before bed. I like the flavor combos and I need to up the volume on my serving sizes to get adequate energy and nutrition. This "taking care of urself" shit is hard!

Salamat po, Lola ♥️

[wromwood]

Boy am I glad I didn't need to get too many ingredients for cooking dinner tonight. My local Lidl has a limited edition shelf of "American" stuff right now and I just HAD to try a few things. I only bought two items, and took pictures of only the things I found the most interesting, but here are the pics I took from "most understandably American" to "huh?"

Not-Twinkies!

This one makes absolute sense, which is why it was one of my two purchases. I tried one, and they definitely feel and taste more "real" than Twinkies do. But they basically look the part, even down to being individually wrapped in plastic. I almost don't want to say they did their research for this one because I don't think you need to do much research to know that Twinkies feel essentially American.

I'm sure they'll decompose when the apocalypse comes, but these are pretty good!

Barbecue marshmallows and grilling sticks!

Ohhhhh how I wish I could've gotten these. Sadly, I have no access to fire, and cannot enjoy grilled marshmallow goodness.

The only way they could've made this more American is if they sold the marshmallows next to chocolate bars and graham crackers. Good job!

Pancake mixes, in a variety of flavors

Yeah, I can totally see why this is viewed as American. And the chocolate chip and salted caramel flavors sound interesting! Too bad I'm not much of a breakfast/morning person, nor do I have a frying pan. Wish I could try it for myself, but it gets a passing grade in concept and look alone.

Bags of roasted peanuts

This is where we enter the "neutral" territory of the list. Are bags of roasted peanuts really seen as American? Or did this company want an excuse to market their leftover peanuts in a different way? If I really think about it, I can imagine a couple reasons why this is American- carnivals/circuses used to sell bags of peanuts as snacks, and parts of the country turn peanuts into snacks in other ways. Still, this gets a neutral grade because, to me at least, it's otherwise an average product.

Sliced pickles... kinda

On the one hand, I can see how sliced pickles can be associated with America- you put em on burgers. But the label really drags it down on my "neutral" list, still calling them "pickled gherkin slices." Can't pretend I'm back in home sweet home like that.

Bag of sweet popcorn

This one is especially confusing to me. I keep hearing UK friends tell me that their idea of American popcorn is our good old salty, buttery kind. And I agree with them! At least where I'm from, popcorn is generally only sweet when it's kettle corn, which is also still a little bit salty. Shame how this America theme dropped the ball on something fairly obvious.

Inexplicable blueberry drink

... I don't know why this exists. A friend of mine says it could be because blueberries are a North American species, so I guess that's the logic behind the drink. Otherwise, it just confused me when I first saw it. Blueberry drink sounds great, don't get me wrong, but it's not what I'd call a typical American product. If I saw this on the shelf of an American store, I'd think it was some special new drink.

This was the second product I got and I'll try it later tonight!

And those are the "American" products that caught my eye at Lidl. It's so fun seeing what people in the UK come up with when they try to evoke the feeling of the USA. I'm genuinely a little sad that these items won't be in Lidl forever, as I want a chance to try more of em.

[preoccupied-educator]

1, 5, 9 for the asks please, my friend!

Alright, in this special travel edition, you get answers from both me and my husband! Enjoy!

1. chipotle order?

Me: (we don’t have chipotle so our answer is based off our fave burrito place) carnita bowl, rice, black beans, fried vegetables, corn, pico, cheese, pickled onion, cilantro, burrito sauce and lime crema

H: umm…idk man. whole wheat tortilla, beef, beans, and stuff..rice, corn, pico de gallo (note from me, the wife: I almost always order his burrito and it’s generally the same as whatever I’m getting minus the meat)

5. favorite form of potato?

Me: don’t make me chooseeeeee! Mashed potatoes are my first love, but any potato that’s crispy comes in a close second (french fries, hash browns, etc.)

H: the PEI potatoes! Sweet potatoes! Mashed potatoes! With garlic and butter..and a steak! BBQ’d potatoes! Fries! I love potatoes!!! All forms of potatoes 🥰 scalloped potatoes!! Baked potatoes! Cheeseeee 😍 oh chips!

9. do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)?

Me: I wash my face every morning and usually at night too, but if I don’t wear makeup that day then the night routine is hit or miss. Usually looks something like: wash face, spray toner, moisturizer, eye cream

H: *long pause* if my face feels kinda dry I might put some moisturizer on…and shaving, I shave my face

if you want to play, ask us a question from here

[health-is-wealth24]

Zesty Loaded Black Bean Salsa: a crowd-pleasing party appetizer that takes just 10 minutes to make. Fresh, flavorful, and endlessly versatile. Enjoy with tortilla chips, or use a taco topper or salad booster.

▢ 1 (15-oz.) can black beans, drained and rinsed ▢ 1 (14.5-oz.) can fire-roasted diced tomatoes with green chiles ▢ 1 1/2 cups fresh, canned, or frozen/thawed corn (I use frozen fire-roasted corn) ▢ 1/2 cup minced red onion ▢ 3 Tbsp. finely chopped fresh cilantro ▢ 1/2 cup Italian dressing (homemade or store-bought) ▢ 3 Tbsp. finely chopped pickled jalapeños ▢ 1 tsp. ground cumin ▢ 1/2 tsp. kosher salt (or more to taste) ▢ Optional add-ins: diced bell pepper and/or feta cheese

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Let sit 10-20 minutes before serving to really let the flavors marry. Refrigerate and enjoy leftovers for up to 5 days.

[downfallofi]

chipotle order?

mythical creature you think/believe is real?

anything from your childhood you’ve held on to?

first thing you’re doing in the purge?

thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

a number that weirds you out?

would you say you have good taste in music?

how’s your spice tolerance?

what’s your favorite or go-to outfit?

last meal on earth?

and btw i asked all these in jonathan frakes's voice lol ty!! <3

-I generally like chicken, white rice, black beans, pico de gallo, either tomatillo salsa or the burny red salsa if I'm feeling especially masochistic, and roasted corn 🥹🥹 with a side of queso.

-Answered!!

- Kinda held on to the traumas associated with my childhood, but as far as possessions.... I do still have my first model Game Boy Advance from 2001? Is that - does that count

- Yeah, I don't understand people that jump right into wanting to murder, torture or r*pe in a purge scenario, I would be stealing food and supplies to pass out to the homeless.

- Not my favorite ice cream, but I mean I like it alright.

- I can't... think of any specific numbers that weird me out because like... who does have a number that they see and say absolutely NOT, fuck that number, skipping it.

- I like to think so, while Im also aware that my music tastes kind of froze and I didnt like any new music and listened to much the same things from 2012-2022, and I sometimes got into a grumpy old man space of like blehhhh all the music on the radio sounds like SHIT, and literally could be just fine listening to emo and nu metal from 2004. My nieces/niblings also... fuckin roast me a lot for listening to "old man music" and "dad rock" so like. I do enjoy it and like what I like, but I've been branching out and listening to new playlists and newer material lately. That said, 2000's family values tour energy nu metal still rules.

- I like to think I have a good spice tolerance. More spicy tolerance than I grew up having, certainly, where my father only seasoned things with pepper or Tabasco. But still sometimes a few spoons of spicy pickle with my curry is enough to knock me on my ass. 🥹

-Im wearing my go-to outfit, a faded black Bullet Club t-shirt and basketball shorts. Bury me in this fucking shirt tbh.

- It'd have to be a good breakfast meal, biscuits and gravy because Im southern as hell and eggs maybe. 🥹🥹

[cyrah-is-cool101]

Jughead's Diner Ep 1: Loony Lunch Menu

3rd Person's POV

It was a sunny day in Toonami City, Jughead's Diner is one of the most popular restaurant for it's delicious hamburger. It was an opening day since the diner is still new but became popular after the release of the Jughead Burgers, now the staff of Jughead's Diner are trying to come up with some new menu items for the diner. That is until Jughead came out of the kitchen with a brand new menu.

Jughead: Look everyone, check out the menu I've created, it's based on the gang back in Riverdale!

He presents the menu, which it had a title with bold letters written 'Riverdale Specialties'. It had a list of an assorted meals that are based on Jughead's pals at Riverdale:

'Riverdale Specialties'

'Enjoy special meals that will get you have a loony lunch!'

The Reggie Whooper ($6.50)

'Wry Ham and Baloney Sandwich, Side of Pickles, Corn Chips and Sour Grape Juice'

The Veronica Special ($50.00)

'Whole Lettuce Sandwich on a Silver Platter'

The Happy Moose Meal ($4.75)

'An All American Cheese Sandwich with Root Bear Soda'

The Betty Buffet ($20.00)

'Whole Wheat Toasted Bread, Blue Cheese, Mom's Apple Pie and Pitcher of Milk"

The Archie Appetizer ($2.40)

'Instant Chicken Soup, Creampuff, Carrot Tops with Orange Soda'

Jughead: So what do you think gang?

Kate: Well, I really like the Archie Appetizer. It really brings the personality of Archie in a good meal.

Lila: The Veronica Special is quite expensive, just like Ronnie herself.

Flash: Man the Happy Moose Meal is a really good meal if your a sports fan.

Aurora: The Betty Buffet is a lot more homey because it's based on Betty herself.

Cpt. Boomerang: I like the Reggie Whooper, kind a slap on Reggie personality.... in a sandwich!

Beetlejuice: Ha! I agree with you, Diggs.

Jughead: I'm glad to hear it, this will be great addition to our main menu.

Kate: It sure is Juggy.

Aurora: How did you come up with the idea?

Jughead: Well, I've been getting a lot of letters from the gang and it kinda hit me with the idea to create menu based on them. I heard 'Name Sandwiches' are really popular since you name them after your favorite customers but I did mine based on my friends back home.

Lila: Aw that so sweet of you, Jug.

Kate: Yeah, a really great idea, Juggers.

Jughead: Thanks, now let's get to work with this new menu!

And so, the 'Riverdale Specialties' menu was a hit success, even Jug's pal from Riverdale came to see and try the menu, they love it except Reggie, who thought the Reggie Whopper kinda punctured his pride.

The End.

Jughead's Diner Uniforms

Jughead's

Kate's, Aurora's and Lila's

Flash's, Cpt. Boomerang's and BJ's

(Color Palette for Uniforms)

Jughead

Kate

Lila

Aurora

Flash

Cpt. Boomerang

Beetlejuice

[bogleech]

please share a refresher of some of your food flavor and texture opinions. I'm having a discussion with my wife about our various Autistic Food Rules and she didn't believe me when I said y'all had similar palettes.

I have a really strong sense of taste (the same exact thing but two different brands may as well be night and day to me; pepsi and coke are as different as apple juice and orange juice) and yet I STILL find that texture is more important, and soft textures are almost always better. French fries are best soft, moist and limp the way they make them at East Coast barbeque pits and board walks. All meat is best as tender and juicy as possible and if a meat is safe to eat raw it is always best raw. The fat is also the best part, but I mean the buttery fat that melts away, not the hard chewy gristly fat which is horrible.

Cookies are never good completely crunchy. Raw dough is good but the very best cookies are half-baked extra chewy ones, especially if they have soft doughy centers and only lightly crispy edges, with chips still melted from the oven. Chocolate in general is better warm than cold especially when it's softened up as much as fudge, and fudge is also good. Eggplant is the best vegetable particularly stir fried until it's all buttery smooth. The only food that's good crisp and crunchy is fruit, any fruit that can be crisp such as apples or pears should be as crisp as possible. Crispy grapes are the very best but they're also the hardest to come by. I end up pinching grapes at the store hoping to find some that have absolutely no give. The best pizza topping is in fact anchovies as long as they're properly cooked into it. Anchovies are also delicious when baked into spaghetti sauce or lasagna. Pineapple however is also good when cooked on pizza, even if it doesn't go super great with anchovy.

In fact, all fruit is actually pretty good when cooked and paired with something savory. Sweet + savory is great in MOST contexts, there's no food in the world that honey can't go on.

Peanut butter, and I mean the sweetened kind from a jar, is also great in savory dishes like curries.

I know this is a very hard sell but peanut butter + pickle chips in a sandwich or on crackers are an actual snack some people enjoy and once I tried it I thought it was awesome. I don't care for the flakiness of most cooked fish but I love canned tuna for whatever reason, tuna salad is like the most reliably palatable food in the world to me? The much reviled Spam and its imitations are in fact delicious pan fried, all the authentic Hawaiian recipes are amazing and Spam musubi is amazing.

I don't mind waffles but I think they're inferior to good pancakes, maybe because waffles have that drier and more rigid surface? Love when pancakes are a bit stretchy. Stretchy white bread like a super fresh French baguette is one of the most good things in the world with nothing at all added to it.

The only common food I find totally revolting is corn. Peas and beans also gross me out a little, all the plants that come in little round nodules. Not fond of most pot pies and stuff with a bunch of different little chopped up veggies in them, don't know why, maybe because all of those veggies would be so much better a little pan-seared on their own? I also find it genuinely kind of annoying and sad when people even “jokingly” comment on these posts about how gross some of these are, none of them are really that uncommon in my experience except maybe the peanut butter pickle thing but I still don’t get why people feel so strongly about some of it. Almost all food is good and I don’t hate the alternatives I can stomach rigid crispy SOULLESS french fries just fine when I really have to

[possibly-in-mordland]

What They Dress Up As For Halloween & How They Spend The Holiday

Masterlist

Post Type: Headcanons

Warning(s): Drug Use, Alcohol Use

A/n: Just some headcanons for spoopy day

==========

Nathan:

Goes all out on a demon costume and you can't change my mind

Quite a bit of fake blood (obvs)

Eats some candy, mostly eats chips

His favorite movies to watch during this time of the year are Rob Zombie, Stephen King, and Clive Barker movies and you can't change my mind

Doesn't do too much else

Pickles:

It varies, back during his SnB days he dressed as a playboy bunny one year. And then another time he dressed as a pickle (self-explanatory)

But this time? This time he had the bright idea to grab one of those inflatable dino outfits

Probably spends the night getting high and drinking

BUT!

Instead of smoking, he's taking edibles

And stuffing himself with candy

While watching shitty b-list horror movies like Auntie Lee's Meat Pies or I Drink Your Blood (aka two of my favorites)

Skwisgaar:

Either dresses as an elf or a vampire (or The Rum Tum Tugger from Cats 1998)

This time he chose to dress as Lestat

He spends time in his room playing guitar (any surprise?)

But also binges movies like Casper and Hocus Pocus

*Insert Skwisgaar dancing to Get Down Goblin*

Also carves a pumpkin (and fails)

"bUt sKwIs iS sErIoUs!!!"

He's a goofball, just a dignified goofball who pretends to be serious

Secretly gets a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks

alright im having too much fun with this

Toki:

Dresses up as Mister Mistofolees from Cats 1998

Eats way too many sweets, Charles made sure they were sugar-free, but that didn't stop Toki from getting a major tummy ache

Probably spends the night alternating between Halloween episodes of shows, children's movies, and quality gore-fest horrors

Some notable things he watched: The entire Spongebob Squarepants Halloween DVD, Casper, Hocus Pocus, Earnest Scared Stupid, Human Centipede, Basket Case, etc

Murderface:

THis man doesn't want to dress up too much, so he puts on some devil horns and attaches a devil tail to his belt

Def eats x3 his weight in candy

Does the thing where he watches some jump-scare-filled horror movie and has to sleep in Pickles' room

Charles:

Totally dresses as Westley from The Princess Bride

(omg im imagining it and 💦, i might need to write a smut piece later ft him dressed as Westley)

Doesn't gorge himself on candy, but he does treat himself a little bit

He's one of those people that loves black licorice (aka me) and candy corn (aka not me)

Puts on a horror movie while he works (still dressed as Westley)

Knubbler:

Initially, I was gonna write Toki dressed as Mad Hatter (bc imagine him having a s/o who dresses as Alice omg so cute), but another time

Knubbler dresses as the Mad Hatter (specifically Johnny Depp's Hatter, but I can also see him attempt Andrew-Lee Potts' Hatter)

His eyes make it all the madder

His favorite Halloween candy is Twix, but he also enjoys Sour Patch Kids

Probably watches at least one horror movie

Magnus:

Dresses as a pirate, and you can't change my mind

Of course, this was probably to infiltrate Dethklok's Halloween party

But if he was with someone (or if this was after Doomstar), he probably just stays home and hands out treats to kids

Eats a couple pieces of candy, but then just has one of those microwavable TV dinners

And watches horror movies (Saw, Hellraiser, etc)

==========

[comparativetarot]

Nine of Wands. Art by Kim Thompson, from Divine Your Dinner.

RECOGNIZING MASTERY

The best skills are the ones we can spend a lifetime developing and still know we have more to learn. Knowing what you don’t know is the key to being truly great at something. Identify exactly what skill you want to master and prioritize it. You’re stepping into energy that will attract others you can both learn from and offer guidance to. Put it to good use.

An example of not putting it to good use? Trying to improve on perfection. That’s wasted energy. Enjoy the perfection, don’t seek to alter it. Practice this delicate balance with these crispy ground beef and pickle tacos. The cayenne will keep you passionate about your goals while the garlic shakes out anything in the way.

MAGICKAL INGREDIENTS: CAYENNE PEPPER, GARLIC, CHILES, CUMIN, ONION

CRISPY GROUND BEEF AND PICKLE TACOS MAIN ————  SERVES 4

This particular taco is in honor of Malo in the Los Feliz neighborhood of Los Angeles. Unfortunately, Malo has shuttered, but we went there regularly to sit on the back patio, drink margaritas, and talk shop. We came up with the idea for Divine Your Dinner over a platter of these very tacos. It seems like a strange combination until you think about it…then it seems like the perfect combination. Ground beef and pickles with a crunchy exterior? DUH.

You don’t have to deep-fry the taco shells ahead of time. You fry them up with the meat already inside in a shallow amount of oil and flip them halfway through cooking. This process leaves the folded seam of the shell slightly soft so you can easily pry open the taco and fill it up with the cheese and pickles. Serve them family-style with the rest of the fixings on the side and let eaters assemble their tacos however they like.

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 2 tablespoons chili powder 1 tablespoon ground cumin 1 tablespoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped Kosher salt 6 garlic cloves, chopped 1 pound lean ground beef 1 small bunch cilantro stems, finely chopped 1 lime, halved 12 (6-inch) corn tortillas ¼ cup canola or vegetable oil, plus more for brushing the tortillas

FOR SERVING 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese About 1 cup drained dill pickle chips, store-bought or homemade Salsa, of your choosing Sour cream Chopped iceberg lettuce

1. In a 12-inch nonstick skillet, heat the oil over low heat. When it just starts to shimmer, add the chili powder, cumin, garlic powder, and cayenne and toast until fragrant, about 2 minutes.

2. Stir in the onion and serranos, increase the heat to medium, and sauté until the onions are just starting to soften and become translucent, about 5 minutes. Season with salt, add the garlic, and cook 2 minutes more. Add the beef and cook, breaking it up often with a wooden spoon, until browned with a very fine texture, about 15 minutes. Season with salt to taste.

3. Reduce the heat to medium-low, add ½ cup water to the pan, and scrape the browned bits from the bottom. Stir in the cilantro stems and add the lime, cut-sides down. Simmer until most of the water has evaporated, about 10 minutes. Transfer the mixture to a medium bowl and let it cool for 15 minutes. Squeeze the lime juice into the mixture (discard the spent limes).

4. Wipe out the skillet and preheat the oven to 400°F.

5. Using a pastry brush or your fingers, brush both sides of each tortilla with some oil. Lay them in a single layer on a baking sheet (it’s okay if they overlap) and bake them until soft and pliable, but not browned, about 4 minutes. Remove them from the oven and set aside.

6. Reduce the oven temperature to 200°F. Line a sheet pan with paper towels.

7. Fill each tortilla with 2 heaping tablespoons of the beef mixture and fold them in half around the filling.

HOT TIP: IF THE TACO DOESN’T STAY CLOSED ON ITS OWN, USE A TOOTHPICK TO HOLD THE TWO EDGES TOGETHER.

8. In the same skillet, heat the ¼ cup oil over medium-high heat. When it shimmers, arrange 4 tacos at a time in the skillet and fry until browned, about 3 minutes per side, adjusting the temperature as necessary so they fry in the 3-minute timeframe.

9. Transfer the tacos to the lined sheet pan and keep them warm in the oven while you fry the rest.

10. To serve, stuff each taco with cheddar and pickle chips. Serve with the salsa, sour cream, and chopped lettuce on the side.

[themonkeylikecreature]

Meals I've been enjoying as an autistic fuck trying to eat more plants

. Chicken nuggets and grapes

. Peanut butter banana toast

. Fruit salad yummy yummy but only 3 fruits

. Fried rice but with a fuck ton of califlower rice in it ( cauliflower must be overcooked very important)

. Applesauce pouch

. Turkey sandwich but with an above average amount of veggies on top

. Fries, but they are secretly the overpriced vegetable fries meant to trick children

. What If I just ate 47 baby Carrots with hummus right now

.thing roasted in oven untill crisp with a Slavic approved amount of garlic salt (oil is necessary for proper texture)

. Mash potatoes but add shredded carrots/ peas/ corn

. Pickles are a vegetable

. Salsa is a vegetable

. Tomato sauce is a vegetable

. Muffin mix, but you add carrots untill it's a carrot cake muffin mix ( also works with other baked goods and with califlower)

. One can beans, two cans corn, some tomato( salsa is good here). Eat with scoop chips

.Blenders are loud but smoothies are amazing, consume at own risk

[buffaloareafishfrygal]

March 9, 2022

The Bellevue Hotel

544 Como Park Blvd

Cheektowaga, NY 14227

** Review for TV so they knew I was coming**

Sometimes there’s a great story behind a place that serves up fish frys. This is one of those places. Plenty of history on the walls, they are one of the oldest buildings in Cheektowaga. The owners bought it “as is” in 2001 with the roof caved in and brought it back to life. Two distinctly different areas to enjoy your meal. The quiet dining room is like stepping back in time. Charming vintage pictures on the wall take you right back to the old days. I found myself wondering if it might be haunted… It is small, so be ready for a wait that can hit 90 minutes some Fridays. Seating is also available in the bar area if you are looking for a more vibrant atmosphere. There is a pretty cool collection of beer memorabilia to check out around you while you wait for your food! Beer selection is run of the mill but you should be able to find something that will please you. I tried 3 of their fish fry options and you really can’t go wrong with any of them. All feature skinless haddock. Beer battered was done very well with a nice crunchy coating. Panko breaded was also perfectly crisp. I enjoyed the Cajun broiled too! All 3 were about as perfect as it gets (10) They also offer lemon pepper, Italian, in the grass, mexican and regular breaded. Half portions are also available. What really got me was the holy trinity here. The owner is serving his mother’s recipes. Potato salad with a pickle relish finish (10), Rotini mac salad with green, red, and yellow peppers plus celery (10), coleslaw with green and purple cabbage and shredded carrots (9). Not an American potato salad fan? Don’t worry they have German too. A little mushy for my taste but still very tasty. (8) You can even sub applesauce or sweet and sour cabbage for any of the sides if you wish! Tartar is also mom’s recipe. Classic taste. Fries were standard cut. No skin. But they added their own secret spice to make them quite nice.(8) Reminds me of that addictive orange seasoning you find on the chips at Salsaritas. Totally addicting. They normally serve fresh rye bread with it. Tonight it was Italian because bread has to be fresh, and the rye was not. Kudos. I hate bread that isn’t fresh! Overall rating is a solid (9). I would not hesitate to recommend! Brian and Darrin take pride in their place and if you are lucky you’ll find Brian’s dad Bill helping out. If you’re REALLY lucky he’ll show you around. Check out the pictures of the building’s rehab on the wall! They do a pretty good take out business too. If you place an order though, get it in before 1pm. They only take so many orders and then take out is cut off for the day. Plenty of parking but it’s a dirt lot. It can get messy depending on the weather. Come. Enjoy the history and the fish. Maybe while you are there you can sign up for their dart, corn hole or horseshoe leagues! Thanks for having me Bellevue!

[sourbat]

#6 Pickleface, please!

Tongue-tied 

enjoy :)

It’s nearing one in the morning, and Pickles is flipping through the channels, heel tapping through the line of infomercials with the steady hum and beat that echoes with the drum of Murderface’s fingers against his stomach. Coffee, booze, weed and just about every brand of chip and candied popcorn known to man litters the surrounding couch. The blanket once shared between them now clutters the floor, pooled mainly around Murderface’s feet.

Murderface sees a flash of red on the screen and spits up a bit of his drink. He points a finger. “Hey, shtop there!”

Pickles lifts his heel. “Here?”

“Nah, nah! Go back a few channels!” Murderface says, then grabs at the near-empty bowl of caramel corn. “I shink I shaw your fashe…”

“Oh, great,” Pickles mutters sarcastically, but a twinkle in his eyes tells Murderface he’s already looking forward to whatever insults the guy has in store for him. He presses his arched foot onto the pedal, goes back a few channels till Murderface stops him with a shake of the arm. Pickles slaps his hand away once he settles. “Alrighty, what’s the damage this time?”

A boring, late night documentary on the history of glam rock, starring a bunch of no-names who likely majored in music appreciation and realized the only way anyone was going to bother listening to them was to mask their fancy words with flashy images of bands Pickles barely remembers from his youthful days. His tongue drags against the top row of his teeth, tracing the shape of his left incisor while Murderface insults the jackoff with the thick-rimmed glasses donning long, poorly dyed hair.  

“What a fuckin’ tool,” Pickles comments, earning a loud cackle from Murderface. 

“For real,” Murderface agrees, then reaches for the bong situated near the edge of the table, and prepares himself a hit.

Pickles is in the middle of grabbing the discarded blanket when he catches the man fingering the bowl. “Oh, lemme have a bit when yer’ done,” he says, thinking he’s got another half-hour in him before passing out for dreamland. He glances at Murderface’s slightly protruding stomach and already fantasizes resting on it right once he’s finished getting stoned.  

Murderface flicks the lighter awake. “Shure thing, dude.” 

Then pops a frontline image of Snakes N’ Barrels, and as the screen is hit with a blast of smoke, Pickles hears the usual spiel from the narrators who try to come off more progressive than necessary. Some rando brings up how brave Pickles was for coming out before anyone else, how he was a pioneer for queer representation, what a badass he was for performing right after surgery, blah, blah, same old shit. Pickles takes a deep hit once he’s handed the bong, smiling inwardly as the words on the screen start to blur and intermingle with Murderface’s less than forgiving commentary. A thick finger waves at a much younger, shirtless Pickles posed with an albino anaconda, and the guy nearly retches a cough before breaking into a lisped series of predictable penis jokes. Pickles holds his breath through it, letting the smoke kill whatever reasonable thought he has before spewing it in the direction of a ceiling.

“Not bad.” Murderface compliments the solid twirl of smoke as Pickles places the bong back on the table, slumps back into the cushion, then slides further on his right, falling on top of Murderface’s side.

Pickles eyes settle on a debut poster for Snakes N’ Barrel’s summer tour across Asia, and as the nobody historian, musician-whatever dude talks about how androgyny played a role in levelling the field for women performers, Murderface utters a steady whistle.   

“Damn, you’re sho hot in that picture!”

“Thanks, was like…half my age back when I posed fer that,” Pickles comments. High on weed, sugar and nostalgia, Pickles stares at the dying image of his younger counterpart shifting into that of an all-female metal band, and sinks further, head now resting on Murderface’s arm. “Dang, I used t’ be a real hottie.”

Murderface ceases sorting through the caramel corn for chunks of crystalized nuts and turns to face Pickles. “Ushed to?” he asks rhetorically. “Dude, you’re shtill hot.” He rolls his shoulder, stirring Pickles to sit upright. Murderface sets the bowl aside and reclines into the corner of the sofa. “Getting the dreads wash the besht deshision ya did,” he says as Pickles drags some fingers down the corner of his eye.

A tired laugh. “Doesn’ help much against the baldin’.”

“Yeah, but look at you,” Murderface says, gesturing at Pickles’ arm. “You got bad-ash dreads, larger muschle mash, and your levels are conshtant now so you getta keep that goatee!”

Pickles rubs the bridge of his nose. “Thanks.”

Murderface leans in as Pickles reopens his reddened eyes, grim eyes shifting to a more suggestive stare. “You know I like your goatee.”

“I know.”

“Sh’real good look on you.” Murderface withdraws a little, rubs the back of his neck as his eyes settle on their covered toes, then adds, “Err, it’sh rugged.”

“Heh, thanks.” Flattered, Pickles brings hand to his goatee, tugs and smiles against the resistance of a full beard.

“Wish I could grow a beard,” Murderface mutters, mirroring Pickles’ movement with his own, and dragging his massive hand across his jawline. “Anyshing I grow comesh up uneven.”

“Nah, dood, yer’ good,” Pickles insists with a short jab of the elbow. “Ya’ aged fine. Yer’ rockin’ the ‘stache.”

“And a beer gut,” Murderface remarks, hands dropping to pat the exposed stomach peeking through shorts and a slightly raised shirt. With the atmosphere covered in a veil of smoke, and Pickles and Murderface already so high, it was impossible to read the words and tone and figure if Murderface was joking or not. Pickles, lacking forethought and a filter, assumes the former. Even at his best, William can be a critical, self-judgmental bastard. 

Pickles drops on his hands, rolls his red eyes and shakes his head at Murderface. “Whaddya talkin’ about, dood? That's the best part of you!”

Murderface frowns. “What?”

Pickles raises a finger at Murderface. “Ya used t’ be a skinny, insecure baby-face!” He snickers a wide grin, then jabs his finger at the round gut. “Now yer a real man,” he says, opting to pause and enjoy the gentle quake of William’s stomach, and raises his eyes to the widening lime-colored irises dilating at his remark. Pickles laughs. “A real man with a sharp tongue, good humor, thick-ass mustache and… soft pillow fer a gut!”

“O-oh, well.” Murderface produces that humble, shy smile he only dares to express when it’s just the two of them.

Pickles eats it up and pushes further. “I mean, ya may not be as manly as this work of art,” he adds, gesturing at himself and earning an exaggerated eye roll from Murderface, “but yer perfectly fine fer snugglin’.” 

Even in the dark of the room, and the hazy veil layering Pickles’ vision, he can make out the start of an uncontrolled blush.

Murderface opens his mouth, but only nervous chuckles come out. He scratches the back of his head again, raising a lax shoulder in the process and steering his eyes away as he struggles to add on to the piling list of compliments. Picking on the man’s lowering defenses, Pickles slumps further, arms sliding and body lowering, closing the gap until his head rests comfortably on top of Murderface’s stomach.

He feels Muederface twitch beneath him. 

“Look at me, Will,” Pickles says, and unleashes a mean snicker once Murderface drops to meet his lazy stare. The man’s definitely blushing now, and to top it off, he’s at a loss for words. His lips are curled in, fighting between a frown because he can’t think of anything to say, and a widening grin because he knows what Pickles is going to tell him.

So he says it. 

Pickles chuckles up at Murderface. “Ya’ know how I feel ‘bout my pillow.”

Some old broad shows her face to the camera. She narrates over some basic-ass music and talks about some band neither men recognize. A face of some unknown singer pops up, and Pickles yawns, flutters his heavy eyelids and brings the blanket up to his shoulders as he stares mindlessly at the screen. Murderface is nice and warm tonight, he thinks, and welcomes the cozy embrace of a cannabis-induced sleep. Underneath, he senses Murderface’s slowed breathing in the form of gentle rises and falls, and before he passes out for the night, feels something rough and wet press against his cheek.