#i dunno if this makes sense to anyone else but this is how my brain is making the plot convenience of the boxing gym work in this scenario

[andro-dino]

guess what I wrote

4.6k words about my ideas for the dragon clan and kurayami family at large wooo 🎉🎉

this includes both canon information, hcs, and expansion on Ryoma, Victoria, and Canela’s characters. i am very insane but feel free to check it out if it sounds interesting 🫶

[no-i-cant-decide]

I've been thinking about the boxing storyline and I think one of the reasons that Ben decided to throw himself into it—apart from seeking approval from Phil—is because fighting is something he used to use as a way to punish himself. Like we all remember 2019!Ben getting drunk and provoking fights that he didn't win (Paul's anniversary is the first thing that comes to mind) and I always interpreted that as intensional on his part because of the guilt he feels surrounding Paul's death. To me, the current storyline feels similar; Ben wasn't able to save Lola and sees himself as a failure because of it, he starts drinking more to cope with the guilt, and is getting into fights. Only now, instead of picking fights with strangers who could seriously injure or kill him, he's fighting in what he sees as a safer and more controlled environment. Lola's prognosis has him thinking about his own mortality too, (probably more in the ways of how he's valuable in relation to others, like not wanting Lexi to lose both of her parents or to leave Callum a widower) but he doesn't know another way to cope with all the grief and trauma while still being "strong" for his family.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I am so happy you're back and seem to be doing even a little bit better! We missed you!

I wanted to send a little message, so you can ignore it if it sours your mood or you don't feel like dealing with it, feel no pressure at all! It's just this blog has been a safe space and the community has been so welcoming that I figured I could vent really quick

You know when sometimes the brain just has a really shitty day, like when you draw something and it screams at you that it's trash even though there's nothing wrong with it? I've been having a rough time with it deciding to scream that comfort characters would cheat, probably as an 'You are so unlovable not even fictional characters would be loyal' bullshit. Now, logically, I know this makes -67 sense. But, I was wondering if you could just reassure that like, Sanji, Mihawk, Buggy, Shanks, Crocodile, Blablablablabla long list of One Piece characters you write for, would not cheat? I'm sorry, this sounds lame to even write out but I'm trying to get my brain to stop thinking that asking for help is 'pathetic' because it is not and it only applies that logic to me, never to anyone else.

I dunno man. Brains and bring human ate both though af.

I missed all of you as well. Really and sincerely. I have a tendency to go radio silent when I'm going through a difficult time and I hate it immensely, but hearing that I was missed to makes me all

And yes, oh gods, I know. My brain is frequently my worst enemy. Especially when I'm not writing. My anxiety starts working overtime and my creative drive becomes dedicated to coming up with problems that could potentially happen for me to worry about even more and it's an absolute bitch; or even when I am actively creating and a little voice insists that everything I make is stupid garbage.

This is still very much and always will be a safe space. It definitely is awful to feel that unworthy of love. Full disclosure, I've mentioned in passing before that I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder depressive type. My main issue is auditory hallucinations that like to insist that everyone I love and care about only tolerate me out of pity and secretly would rather I not be around, which leads to me isolating myself from people. Huge part of the reason I go silent when life decides to be a bitch. I know it's just as bad feeling that way about comfort characters, if not even worse, when we're supposed to have them to help us get through that kind of bullshit.

So let me provide a little drabble for the one comfort character I’m certain wouldn’t ever allow us to continue being so silly about our worthiness of love and affection, because we’re all worthy of such a basic human need. I may do more later, but one in particular jumped at the opportunity to provide this comfort, and I fear he may counter me with his dreaded puppy-dog-eyes should I even dare attempt to wait.

Good Enough

OPLA!Sanji x AFAB!Reader

Lil drabble thingy

SFW, Hurt/Comfort

Possible TRIGGER WARNINGS for depression, insecurity, self-worth

♫♬ Moonshine ♬♫ — The Fratellis (yes I’m STILL on my Fratellis BS leave me be)

"Never knowing is the most evil feeling, when every answer here is none too appealing"

Sanji had always been a flirt. You knew that from the moment you started working on the wait staff at Baratie. Your trust issues had made it a little difficult for you to open up around the young sous chef (and occasional waiter on the frequent occasion that Zeff kicked him out of the kitchen for insubordination), but it was his outgoing nature and perseverance that had ultimately won you over. He had a way of making you feel like you were the only girl in the world when you were together, doting upon you, all but worshipping the ground you walked on.

But when he was sent out to work the dining area, it always made you nervous. His innate charm, his handsome features—he was nearly always a hit with female customers. No matter how much you told yourself that he was only doing his job, there was always a nagging feeling that maybe there was more to it than that. Watching him interact with a table of pretty young women, who by their clothing and demeanor were obviously far more affluent and sophisticated than you, left you distracted in your own work.

Seeing how they giggled at everything he said, how they fluttered their eyelashes when he brought them their drinks.

How the pretty blonde at the table leaned so close to him while he pointed to something on the menu, close enough to brush her hand across his.

You managed to spill a tray of drinks all over yourself while you were watching, leading to a scolding from the front of house manager. You saw the table of girls from the corner of your eye, giggling at your clumsiness before you were sent off to clean yourself up and change your uniform.

No matter how much you told yourself you were being silly, there was nothing you could do to shake it. The doubts, the thoughts of how easily he could find someone better than you. You had your jaw clenched the entire time you were changing your shirt in the staff restroom, tossing the soiled one aside as you leaned against the sink in front of the mirror and forced yourself to take slow, level breaths.

You were still on the clock. You couldn’t break down. You had to get changed, had to get back to work, had to pretend everything was fine, if he found out you were being so stupid about this then he would definitely drop you like a bad habit, you had to compose yourself or—

Knock knock.

Your eyes darted to the bathroom door, your breath catching in your throat at the sound of the light knock.

“J—just a minute,” you forced out, flinching at the sound of your own voice breaking a little.

Stupid, you’re being stupid, stop it stop it stop it—

A brief silence followed your answer, a silence that seemed to stretch on for miles despite lasting only a few seconds. The familiar, gentle voice that answered after a moment made your hands clench around the porcelain of the sink.

“You alright, love?” You drew in a sharp breath, swallowing, clenching your eyes shut. Of course it was Sanji. You had almost hoped that the manager had come scold you for taking too long. That would have been easier to deal with right now. Your eyes darted to the locked doorknob as it rattled a little. “I heard—”

“I’m fine,” you said immediately, the strained quality of your own words as they met your ears making your hands tighten a little more on the edge of the sink. “I—I just tripped and spilled a few drinks, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” You gritted your teeth, laying your head back to stare up at the ceiling. Of course he wouldn’t let it go that easily. The doorknob rattled a little again, and you glanced at it as if it were a viper poised to strike out at you at any second.

Stupid, you’re being stupid, don’t—

“You sound—”

You reached out and turned the lock on the doorknob, and turned away from the door, crossing your arms over your half-buttoned shirt and stared down at your feet. After a long moment, you heard the door open behind you.

Evidently you didn’t look any less distressed than you felt. His quiet sigh met your ear as the door shut lightly and the lock turned. “Oh, love, it’s fine,” he said gently, his footfalls echoing quietly in the small bathroom, closing the short distance across the tile floor between the two of you. Your whole body tensed as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, resting his forehead over the crown of your hair with a quiet chuckle. “It’s only a few drinks, it could happen to anyone.”

You shook your head, your shoulders shaking a little. Stupid, it was so stupid, but the words were already leaving your mouth before you could stop them. “Oh, yeah, anyone.” You couldn’t stop. You couldn’t. He had a way of pulling all your insecurities to the surface that no one else did. You pulled your crossed arms tighter, staring down at the white floor tiles for a moment before shutting your eyes tightly, your voice shaking a little. “Especially a dumb screw-up like me—”

“Don’t do that.” His tone came out a little sharper with this, and your breath hitched audibly in your throat this time, your shoulders hunching as you clenched your eyes shut tighter, swallowing back the lump in your throat. As if to counter your stiff posture, he pulled his arms tighter around your waist, pulling you closer, his thumb rubbing lightly against your waist in a comforting manner. “Don’t, sweetheart. Please.”

The warmth of his embrace already had you relaxing a little. Your shoulders slumped, your body leaning back against him, but your eyes were still burning when you opened them to stare down at the toes of your shoes.

“Was it the manager?” he asked gently, shifting behind you to rest his chin on your shoulder. “If he was being an ass I’ll gladly kick his ass off the docks.” Your breath left your lungs in a slow, trembling sigh as you shook your head no, your gaze drifting down to his hand at your hip, still rubbing lightly against you, your lips curling into a fleeting smile at his offer. You knew you were being stupid, but… “Then what’s wrong, love?” he asked, his voice a soft, comforting murmur in your ear.

“I…” You drew in a deep breath, closing your eyes as he tilted his head so his cheek lay against your shoulder. “Y—you—“

You swallowed against the lump forming in your throat, drawing in a deep breath, trying and failing to steady the whirlwind of thoughts swirling through your mind, thoughts of how maybe this was all a lie, of how you weren’t anything more than a silly little fling to him, how you weren’t good enough, how easily you could be replaced.

You bit your lip, glancing down as his hand found yours, watching his fingers lace between your own…and the breath left you in a slow, resigned sigh.

“It’s stupid,” you said quietly.

“If it’s got you this upset, then it’s anything but stupid,” he countered, and you had to purse your lips tightly to keep them from curving into a small smile as you felt his press briefly against your cheek in a soft kiss. “And if it’s something I’ve done—”

“N—no, you haven’t—” But how quickly you shook your head, how your shoulders tensed, betrayed your worries. “I…I just…” You slowly relaxed once more as he squeezed you against him, his cheek nuzzling against your shoulder, his soft blonde hair tickling against your neck. Still unable to turn your head to meet his eyes, you bit the bullet and forced yourself to voice your worries. “You have beautiful women making goo-goo eyes at you all day,” you said, keeping your voice low in an attempt to keep it steady. “I—I don’t—I’m not—” You bit your lip, your heart racing as you clenched your eyes shut, cursing yourself internally as you felt the tickle of a tear leaving your eye to trail down one of your cheeks. “Y-you could have any girl you wanted. L—like that blonde that was hanging all over you while you were showing her the menu, or—or—”

“Oh, sweetheart…” You weren’t quite able to mask the small sob that hitched in your chest as Sanji loosened his embrace—only to gently place a hand on your hip, guiding you to turn around and face him, to pull you against his chest as you tried and failed to fight back tears. He gently shushed your quiet sobs and stammered apologies as he wrapped his arms around you fully, combing his fingers through your hair as he laid his head over yours. Your eyes remained clenched shut as you fought to control your breathing , as he pressed a tender, lingering kiss to your forehead.

Sanji lowered his head and nuzzled into your hair, holding you flush against him.

“I already have the girl I want. The perfect girl.” He pressed another tender kiss to your temple, murmuring against your skin, “I have her right here in my arms. And I hope,” he said, his tone turning a little playful as he shifted to rest his forehead against yours, “that I’ll still have her tonight after dinner shift is over.” He brushed your hair behind your ear, smiling as he tilted his head to meet your gaze, puling a small smile to your lips as your cheeks grew a little warmer. “So we can cuddle up together on the balcony…watch the stars…laugh at all the drunk idiots stumbling back to their boats…”

You could practically hear him smiling as a few soft giggles escaped you, as you finally leaned fully against him and returned his embrace, your arms wrapping around his torso as you buried your face against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, relaxing against him. “I…I’m just…”

“I know, love.” The way he called you ‘love’ all but melted your heart now that you were calmed down, pulling a faint smile to your lips. “I know. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. And if it’s any consolation, I was in the middle of telling that self-righteous blonde bimbo how my sweet, adorable, beautiful girlfriend would wring her neck if she kept putting her hands on me—“ He chuckled as you whined in protest of his praise, tugging you closer and grinning, meeting your eyes without hesitation.

He lifted his hand to your face, his thumb brushing across your cheek, the warmth of his gaze holding yours.

“I—“

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

You both jolted in alarm, your heads turning in unison toward the sound of the pounding on the bathroom door. Before you could so much as glance at each other, a gruff voice spoke up from behind the door.

“We’re in the weeds, Eggplant!” Zeff called . “Get your scrawny ass to the kitchen! And bring your damned girlfriend, we need all the help we can get.”

A long moment of silence stretched between the two of you as you both stared at the closed bathroom door, before your gazes drifted slowly toward each other.

Before you were both giggling under your breath, as you buried your forehead against his chest, a broad smile spreading across your lips as you clung to him.

“I suppose we’ve been summoned,” said Sanji, pulling back from you only enough to gaze down at you, still smiling. “Shall we, then?”

[suengmi]

can you do where boyfriend! skz are teasing w reader but say a joke that hurts their feelings and they realize and immediately apologize and make it up to you (fluff)

hi anon!! ty for being my first ask, im excited to write! not sure if you wanted full stories/drabbles but i hope you like what i did! <3 also i'm a bit unwell and drained from work so pls be kind. took so long because i ended up writing a lot for some.... like a lot OOPS i trailed off a bit to make it more realistic but asjsdkkjasd anyways im sorry if it's not exactly what u wanted ;_; i did my best, plus i didn't want to make it all the same i guess? but yeah about .6k for each member!

warnings will be written below member names!! all under the cut~

warnings for all: not completely proof read but wanted to answer this prompt asap!! i'm half asleep it's 3am pls also all gender neutral!

┋bang chan ┋

context: grocery store is never fun, especially when your boyfriend doesn't know how hard it can be for you. new!relationship, domestic bliss grocery shopping for a night in

warnings: slight ableism??? before he knows??? idk, chan a bit spicy with his words so not complete fluff my b, some cussing, not the fluffiest pls im sorry idk what HAPPENED

word count: .6k

chan grunts at you, eyes rolling, "i told you it's the wrong one you dumb dumb. "

you look down at the japanese curry powder, trying to make sense of the words written before you. you haven't been with chan for long, but he's treated you better than anyone you've ever met. he's kind, giving and always knows how to make you feel better. he knows that you're happier when it rains, he knows that you get angry whenever you lose a game, he loves that you always defeat him at uno and enjoys how you make a week long parade about it. he already loves you but definitely doesn't know it yet.

there is one thing you're still trying to gauge about chan is how sometimes he can shoot first and ask questions later, and this is one of those moments.

chan frowns, pointing at the curry packet in your hand. "this is the spicy one."

"i'm sorry." you say in a low tone, still trying to read the packet but the font is harder to read, "they look the same."

chan snatches the packet from your hand, placing it back next to the seemingly same ones. "well maybe if you read it you properly for once. i had the runs for like 2 days last time. you know me and spicy no agree."

"i can't.... sometimes."

chan turns to you. "huh?"

you take in a deep breath and speak fast, "i have dyslexia."

"what?" he questions confused.

it's then when the penny drops after a moment of silence. realization a wave over him, all the times he told you to read properly, how many times he made tut noises at your replies not having complete context and how he would grunt when you didn't comprehend something.

"why didn't you tell me? there's nothing wrong with that...?" he prods, gaze gentle towards you.

you fumble with your hands, picking at the skin at the sides of your thumb, your mind trying to find what to say. "i dunno."

he sounds so apologetic when he eventually speaks, he wonders how he could have been stupid. it makes sense. all the times you've told him about your ex and how he called you stupid and dumb for not reading well, making fun of you and saying you just don't pay attention. "i made fun of you so much... wow i'm a dick-

"no it's okay" you interrupt him, a small smile on your lips not wanting him to be hurt.

chan purses his lips while taking your hands in his. he looks at your eyes, his own intense and apologetic. "no- it's not okay, i make fun of you so much for thinking you just didn't pay attention, shit, i'm sorry. i joke all the time about how your brain is always else where."

and with that chan knows that he definitely could have picked up the pieces earlier, that you said it to him, without words. "i'm just... fuck i'm sorry."

"i just you know with my ex they-"

chan pulls you in for a tight hug, as if hushing the words you were about to spill, your glasses pushed against your eyes but you don't mind. he smells like fresh baby powder, his own scent you love mixing in with the clothes he's wearing. you know chan's going to make up for it and that he'll do everything to make you feel better. because you love him too, you just don't know it yet either.

﹋﹋﹋

┋changbin ┋

context: changbin loves working out and you love watching him, even if you don't think he doesn't know. freshly known feelings, uni!au, living together in dorm (i know you said !boyfriend but this was too good not to write hehe)

warnings: CHANGBIN SHAMELESSLY FLIRTING ACK, implications of taking a relationship further (physically), voyeur reader lmao

word count: .5k

you turn your gaze over to your friend, housemate or whatever you two had going on was called. you'd never really thought of changbin as someone you'd like, his gentle an soft nature was a contrast to the man currently a few metres away from you. weights in hand and grunts slipping from his mouth. you lean your head back to get a better angle, the veins on his arm revealing themselves. you knew he liked you and you liked him, but neither of you would dare to open that pandoras box. well, not until tonight.

it's a moment later that changbin stops his routine, almost meeting your stare. you raise your brows, attention turning back to the laptop in front of you. what on earth was i doing? you think, pretending to type something into the computer.

"thirsty?" he asks you, pretending he didn't noticed your eyes on him every now and then for the last half hour.

you turn your attention to him "wha?"

he laughs into his chest, stretching out his arms, "you have drool on the side of your mouth."

"i do- i do not!" you say slamming the laptop down, folding your arms on your chest knowing you've been caught.

changbin laughs, sitting down on the couch next to you, "didn't know i owned a dog."

you had no idea he could be this cheeky, making fun of you for simply watching him. after all, you were perving in a sense.

"don't make fun of me! i know i was... watching."

a smile dances on his lips, knowing that you can be sensitive to these things. "i'm sorry." he almost sounds apologetic... almost. "but... it's just too good to catch you out." he says in a slow almost seemingly mocking way.

"stop it." you mumble, facing the other way. "you know i have issues with... bringing this stuff up."

changbin tugs on your ear to gain your attention, feeling bad for making you feel slightly uncomfortable. but hey, you were the one watching. he smiles and says, "i know i know, i'm just teasing. i'm really sorry."

"i know but... please don't, this is hard for me."

"okay okay," he whines, gently lacing his fingers in yours, testing the waters to see if you'd be okay with this affection. "i promise i won't make fun of you, but if you wanna watch feel free to, don't have to be shy about it."

a blush dances across your cheeks and ears, your tummy suddenly feeling a knot of embarrassment grow. "changbiiiin." you groan, planting your face into the couch cushion.

"okay maybe i lied, i'll definitely enjoy making fun of you."

﹋﹋﹋

┋hyunjin ┋

context: you hate feet. hyunjin thinks it's funny. established!relationship, living together

warnings: obvi mentions of feet?? mentions of vomit

word count: .6k

hyunjin knew you hated feet, just how they looked, how they acted and gripped on the damn floor whenever someone would walk bare foot. hyunjin loved walking around the house barefoot, and it sometimes made you feel woozy, just the image of your own feet touching the floor... imagine. you shivered at the thought, sitting down on the couch next to your boyfriend, his feet dangling off the edge of the couch.

you pat your legs, instructing him wordlessly to lay on your lap. he complies without a thought, scooching back and nestling his head into your soft legs. he let's out a gentle "mm" as he settles in. "soft" he coos, rubbing his head a few times before turning his attention back to his switch.

after another episode of your favourite show, hyunjin suddenly brings his feet up, inspecting one of them. "i think i have glass in this one."

"do you need to do that here?" you say in a tone, eyes avoiding the grippers in sight.

"nah can you just check this one?" he says with difficulty, throwing his foot back towards your face. if you weren't so grossed out you'd probably be impressed by his flexibility.

"hyunjin please--" you swat away his foot with your phone, pushing yourself back into the couch.

"nah see in the big toe right here."

"hyunjin! you know i hate feet stop!"

he struggles, folding his body further to get his left foot near you, "babe just look here near the nail."

and that's when you feel a lump in your throat, nearly retching at the sight. the rice dish you had earlier suddenly feeling not so settled.

"oh shit." hyunjin says in a shock turning his attention to you, hearing your strangled noise. "are you okay?"

"no i'm not okay, go away." you say behind your hand.

shit, he knows he did wrong. his seemingly funny joke was definitely taken too far. he feels bad, real bad. he knew you didn't like feet but not this much. it'd never really come into question the time you'd been together, but god he had no idea.

"jeez i'm sorry." he's unsure where to place his hands and fumbles, words not forming correctly.

you sit in silence for a moment before regaining your thoughts. "don't. fucking. do. that."

hyunjin's eyes are pleading, the guilt in his face almost makes you not want to get him back but then realise you can use this to your advantage. you look over at the massage oils on the table and back at him. "i have an idea."

and you know he'll do whatever it takes. he still had glass in his foot, but that wasn't important right now.

------

┋felix ┋

context: felix thinks your tummy is cute, but you're just not used to it.

warnings: mentions of weight, body issues, tight clothing, BUT ITS FLUFF I PROMISEEEE, felix just a silly soft goose

word count: .6k

"come out please." felix begs, head leaning against the door.

you're sitting in the bathroom on the floor, dressed in nothing but your boxer underwear and a tight bed shirt, felix's bed shirt. you can feel the anxiety seeping into your chest, the weight of reality hitting you. you and your boyfriend had been together for only a month, but this was the first night you were staying at his house. it was on a whim, since most of the trains and buses had stopped running. and of course, you had nothing to wear. so there you were, tight shirt and all. you've never been uncomfortable with your body, if anything you love your body. but for some reason the way that felix talked about your stomach irked you. maybe he meant it as a joke? what did he mean? either way you were upset and needed space for a moment.

"please, i didn't mean it like that." felix sighs against the door, "it's soft and i love it."

you cast a sad expression towards the door. still unwavering from your position. why do you have anxiety now about this? all he did was grab your tummy and tell you it's soft like a kitten belly, or how it reminds him of those marshmallows that fold and how much he loves it because it's you, and he loves you.

you hear nothing but the cracking of a knee, felix bending down to put his fingers through the gap of the door underneath. he splays his fingers like a cat trying to get in the bathroom, darting against the tiles.

"lemme in!" he chimes, grunting to get his fingers further in. "i'll get in either way!" he jokes, using both of his hands under door to attack. it makes you laugh. it reminds me of those videos of cats wanting to get into the bathroom, or videos of racoons grabbing food.

"am i close?" he jokes, moving his hands back and forth.

you groan, stifling a laugh as you get up to open the door. "not even." you say, being met with pleading eyes. you look down at him, his hands still pretending to search where the door once was.

but he suddenly swoops you into a hug, hands around your waist, his head pressed into your soft chest, enjoying the smell of his shirt mixing in with your scent.

you relinquish any negative thoughts you have, melting into the hug. "i know you didn't mean it like that but, i think i'm just nervous... because it's you."

he pulls back, arms still wrapped round your waist, probably a bit too tight. "it wasn't a joke, i do love it." his eye are filled with nothing but love and adoration for you, your body an your mind.

"just... choose different words, please... i'm not a roll of marshmallows."

felix pulls back suddenly before gently pressing a swift kiss to your lips. "tastes sweet." he retorts about your statement, ignoring your words before kissing you again.

"i'm-seri-ous." you say between kisses, you feel his his hands digging into your hips.

instead of stopping, he grins, love apparent in his eyes. "my marshmallow."

you roll your eyes, a bit of anxiety still in your throat but knowing he adores marshmallows, you figure it's okay for now.

﹋﹋﹋

┋jisung ┋

context: a park date is cute until you get attacked my a crow, jisung think's it's funny. established!relatonship

warnings: jisung being a weenie, swearing

word count: .5k

the ground collides with your chest, the mud clouding your vision and your new shirt you brought for the date probably ruined. yep, i definitely tripped and yes it was embarrassing. you think, shame in your chest. of all the days, why your one year anniversary?

all you hear is the cackle behind you getting louder, sharp inhales of breath echoing in your ears. jisung has no shame, actively laughing at you stacking it to the ground.

"ahaha! the crow!!" he gurgles still, bending forwards over the picnic blanket, almost choking on his spit.

"jisung!" you yell, getting to your feet, seeing the mess on the front of you. that fucking crow, why did it choose me?

"jisung!" you yell louder, stomping over to the blanket, definitely covered in mud, dripping behind you as you walk.

"i'm sorry babe i'm-" he says between breathes.

you grunt before wiping the mud from your chest, still feeling it covering half of your face. "it's not funny."

"it fucking is."

jisung's laughs come to a halt as he realised you're upset upset, not just whining like you usually do. he notices how your eyes are suddenly pooling with wells. he stands to his feet and gently holds out his hands, "baby-"

"no!" you grumble, pulling your arms away, tears rolling down your cheek. "i just bought this top. now it's ruined." your dejected tone unsettles jisung, instantly feeling bad for making fun of you.

he says nothing, confused on how to react. but he waits patiently, allowing you to let out your feelings. he's always been good at this, always been patient with you.

after a breath you look back at him, red rings dancing around your eyes.

he smirks as he walks over to the mud and plainly sits down in it as if it what he was meant to do all along. you let out a small laugh, your hands wiping the rest of the mud from your face.

"what?" he asks plainly, as if nothing is weird. he grabs a handful of the mud before pressing it to his shirt, and then another handful to his hair, rubbing it in. "what's funny?"

you laugh behind your mud covered hand walking over to him. he smiles up at you like a puppy, knowing that he's succeeded in making you feel better.

and there he is, completely covered in mud, way more than you are and in that moment you fall just a little bit more in love with him. you lean down and press a gentle but muddy kiss onto his lips.

he stares up at you with nothing else to say, just sitting in the mud. you decide to join him, plopping down next to him, hand in hand as you both just sit in silence and completely covered in mud.

with jisung you didn't always needs words, sometimes the things he did for you were enough.

﹋﹋﹋

┋lee know ┋

context: you're getting ready to go out with friends, but your hair has other ideas, established!relationship, living together.

warnings/other: kisses??? idk, cuss words

word count: .5k

"it's not working!" you huff, re-straightening the side of your bangs for the 6th time. minho was confused at first, wondering why you're so upset over something trivial and small from his point of view. but when he looks up from his phone to see you struggling, his left hand still lazily patting one of his cats. he speaks without thinking,

"it's definitely like a pigs tail." he chuckles, looking back at his phone. in his mind, he assumes that he was just making a light hearted joke, thinking it was cute the way you got so upset over something he coined as small. plus, pig tails are very cute if you think about it.

it wasn't until you made a little sob that he noticed how you were actually feeling. you stare in the mirror, realizing it in fact does look like a pigs tail.

"baby-" he let's out a small but gentle sigh, "i was joking,"

"no you weren't. it... does look like a pig tail." you say between a small dejected sob, lips curled down and hands at your side as you avoid the mirror.

"let me help?" he says so gently as he approaches the bathroom door. instead of letting him help, you just melt into his chest immediately, your sobs muffled by his shirt. "i look like shit." you say defeated.

he lets out a light laugh, kissing the top of your head a few times, "you never look like shit, you know... even with your pig tail."

you step back, immediately hitting the tight muscles of his chest with both of your fists, "fuck off i swear." you talk through your teeth, still frustrated but feeling the urge to laugh in your throat.

"there you are," he says pleased at your spice, fighting with you to place a kiss on your temple, your hand starts pushing on his jaw, his lips puckered and ready. "c'mere." he says through your fingers, still pushing his head towards you, his hands gripping at your neck. "let me-- love you."

after a few minutes of roughhouse struggle, you push him back, feeing slightly better. it's in this moment you realize that you in fact do not enjoy asking anyone for help. but you speak, dejected tone apparent. "yeah... please help."

and nothing else is said while he fixes your hair, gently pressing small kisses on your cheeks as he does so. he knows he can sometimes say things without thinking, but he also knows that you sometimes enjoy just as much as he does. it's why you love him and why you two work so well together. after a few minutes he steps back to admire his masterpiece, a triumphant smile on his lips. "hmm," he ponders, "i liked the pig tail better."

"oi, don't start again you little shit" you say as you begin chasing after him, giggles dancing in with his own as he runs down the hall, nearly slipping on the rug. "get back here! you're in for it!"

﹋﹋﹋

┋seungmin┋

context: seungmin needs to shut his mouth sometimes, even if he doesn't know it. established!relationship, living together

warnings: seungmin being a spicy bitch, some playful physical aggression, kissing

word count: .5k

seungmin has you completely pinned under him on the couch as he covers you with kisses, not relinquishing his hold. "how many times do i have to say it?"

you grunt at the fact that he's weirdly strong in these situations, and as much as you struggle against his hold he's just completely powering over you. just the other day you were the one that had to help him open a jar. but thats besides the point. here seungmin is, currently trying to wiggle his way out of the fact that he took a joke too far. you're determined not to let him get away that easy.

you struggle once more against his hold, your legs flailing underneath him but he's just too damn strong.

he lets out a struggled breath, still above you. his hair falling gently from his face, "isn't sorry enough?"

you turn your head to the side, bottom lip pouting. "no."

"baby-"

you tut at him, tone almost darted, "don't baby me! you've lost your rights."

a gentle grin finds itself to dance over seungmin's face, he likes it when you fight back. he likes it when you put him in his place but still give him enough wiggle room to feel in charge.

"okay," he says with raised brows, "you win. i apologise."

you realise this is the perfect opportunity to get him back, for him making that stupid joke about something he knew you were insecure about.

"oh, whats this? kim seungmin, apologising, what was that?" you speak sarcastically. you're still under his hold, but you'll let it slide for now. "sorry i didn't quite catch that after you made me feel like shit for an entire hour. repeat?"

"i... apologise. i took it too far and i'm sorry."

you feel your chest rise, suddenly enjoying the power that seungmin has given to you. it takes a lot for him to admit he's wrong or that he's done wrong, this is just so damn satisfying.

"actually..." he trails off, letting your hands free a second before quickly grabbing the back of your neck. the kiss he planted on you was fast, and before you knew it you were laying back down on the couch, head dizzy from the sudden kiss, "you can't just make me forgive you with kisses." you speak in a semi-daze.

seungmin presses a kiss to your cheek and then a few more to your lips, the taste sweeter everytime. "i can, actually."

yeah, he's absolutely right. wait, what were we arguing about?

﹋﹋﹋

┋jeongin┋

context: jeongin fucked up, and he wants to make it better. fresh!relationship

warnings: none? kissing maybes, TOO MUCH CUTE

word count: .5k

it only took jeongin about half an hour to attempt to make it up to you.

sometimes being with jeongin was hard, as you both communicated in very different ways, it definitely was something you needed to work on. though, the one thing you loved about him is the absolute time and effort he put into making everything just perfect for you. when it came to you, everything he did for you was worth it.

after taking a walk to calm your thoughts, you realized you were still frazzled from the way jeongin teased you and how you ended up crying, resulting in him just left behind in a confused state. sometimes it took a while for the penny to drop with him, but once he got it, he really got it.

you step through the front door of his house, gently removing your sandals to be met with the sound of jeongin jumping up from the couch, hands out in a display. "ta-da!" he yells, it startles you.

you turn to meet eyes with your boyfriend, his face with a stupid grin slapped across it.

"what is-" and that's when you notice the many items splayed across the ground. there's a few towels on the lounge table, a tub of what seems to be hot soapy water, a box of facemasks and some nail polish next to it. the lighting is low and your favourite soundtrack is playing. you notice the scent in the room, jasmine tea, your favourite.

jeongin takes a deep breath in before showcasing his wares. "salon de jeongin"

"babe i-"

he steps forward, taking your hands in his before guiding you to sit down. "cmon" he coaxes gently, his beautiful dark eyes watching your every step. you say nothing as you follow him, unsure of what's happening.

as if he knows you're going to speak, he places a gentle kiss on your forehead. "i'm sorry."

you marvel at the sight in front of you once more. the fact that he built you a whole salon in his living room within thirty minutes is mind blowing. he knows your favourite scent, your favourite songs and all the products you use. you didn't even realize he had those.

you're still at a loss for words, unsure of where to put your hands or body. jeongin just points to the chair, silly grin still plastered on his face and eyes wide.

you sit down in the chair, eyes darting to jeongin. "does it cost extra for shellac on my nails?"

jeongin pouts in thought, "just a kiss."

"i can do that." you say back at him. and that's all it takes, you know you'll talk later about this and how you can communicate better but this... this was enough for now. more than enough.

"actually," jeongin ponders before leaning so damn close to your face, "i think it's about 4 kisses."

-

DAMN THAT WAS SO LONG I SPENT LIKE AGES DOING THIS MY BAD, i know it's not exactly what u said but oh well i wanted to make them all different!!!! ty for asking!!!!!! <3

[saytrrose]

Someone reblogged your Kinger and Queenie comic and I saw your reblog on curious anons, so here I am.

Anyways, dunno if ya have done this before but ya got headcanons on Kinger's relationships with everyone on TADC?

Like, besties with someone in specific, we get along even if he doesn't know we get along, that kind of stuff.

Ooh!! I really love this question eee

Kinger Headcanons! With.. EVERYONE! (Im including the abstracted characters, they are so so silly in my brain rn and i have a strong perception of them)

—————

Queenie:

- Queenie and him started out with a mutual.. dislike? Dislike from Queenies side, and general uncomfort from Kingers side.

- From the start their relationship was more so small bickering, mutual pining even, They both possess a sarcastic side to them, (I personally believe before Kinger went crazy that he used to be rather analytical and in control, a lot smarter yk.)

- They both were constantly compared for their likeness, which of course gave them a sense of need to.. prove themselves better? To stand out? Saw eachother as an obstacle until FINALLY they tried actually having a conversation.

- Their relationship dynamic is very much golden retriever x black cat.

- Once they actually were in a relationship, Queenie definitely keeps her sassy personality but she’s very soft spoken around Kinger.

- Kinger also changes, they act more differently around eachother than anyone else. Their general idea of “we are different” changes to “we are the only ones that truly understand one another”

- Oh they bickered SO MUCH it’s so silly, Queenie loves to tease, seem like she has a large ego but in private around just him she’s very very vulnerable and relies on him for comfort. She doesn’t feel like she needs to act a specific way around him or ever get really defensive.

- Kingers personality doesn’t change as much as Queenies does around people, however he does lean into feeling more vulnerable around her as well. He tries to seem calm and mostly friendly, but in private with just her he feels like he can actually rant and get emotional.

—————

Wriggle:

- Kinger and Wriggle have a very funny dynamic, as Wriggle is Queenies “best friend is the whole wide world” (quoted by Wriggle, not Queenie)

-They often like to wriggle in between Kinger and Queenie, (hahaha look at me I’m so funny I love puns please don’t unfollow me) they are bit clingy towards Queenie which Kinger doesn’t particularly mind in the slightest.

- Putting Queenie aside, those two I’d say are good friends too. Wriggle loves to ramble on and on to Kinger about things they enjoy or made or did- the list is endless and it’s usually Kinger when it comes to this because atleast Kinger looks like he’s paying attention, whereas Queenie has that.. blank stare.. (autism, your honor)

- Think of Wriggle as a wingman also, They know Queenie well, and things she wouldn’t tell Kinger? Thats Wriggles job. For example, Queenie talks about how it’d be cute to receive flowers but doesn’t want to outright ask for them, Wriggle goes to Kinger and keeps jabbing him in the side with their tail until his attention is gained, and tells him “you know what you should do!!” you get what happens fr

- The wingman job was specifically asked of by Kinger, to which Wriggle, being the snooty little “hmmm idk if I like you enough” worm they are.. obviously decides not to share Queenies private words. (I’m still deciding if Kinger persuaded Wriggle into the idea that it’d make Queenie happier in the long run or if he just dropped to his knees like PLEASEPLEASEOLEAZEPLEASE-)

—————

Slinky:

- Slinky and Kinger have a good relationship, they aren’t really friends that hang out on their own time, but if they are ever in a group then they’d interact.

- Slinky loves to knit and crochet, and she made a task to knit everyone a tiny plush to have. She gave Kinger a tiny stag beetle plush, and he adores it so much, it’s right on his bed. ☠️ (perhaps I could make another post listing all the plushies Slinky made for everyone but idkkk only if it’s inquired about)

- They are the two shyest? Of the whole group, not inherently shy but the most quiet unless spoken to and definitely most anxiety filled. They have an unspoken code of certain looks they give eachother that they can instantly understand.

- In Kingers full honesty, if he was given the chance to choose a person to be in his team for an adventure and Queenie was taken, he’d choose Slinky. She’s just a very patient individual and he thinks he goes well with someone like that.

—————

Kaufmo:

- Their friendship is like trying to combine oil and water.. they don’t mix easily… They have respect for one another, an extent of it and Kinger probably has more than Kaufmo but they have very different conflicting personalities.

- Kaufmo is prickly and pessimistic most of the time, however I do want to think around Kinger he hold back a little. These two ended up being the last of the old cast, they’ve been through alot together…

- Kaufmo hates lovey dovey stuff, god forbid Kinger even rests a hand on Queenies side or something- he WILL point it out like a toddler grossed out by seeing their parents kiss.

- I think after Queenie abstracts it really changes. I want to assume that is when Kinger finally fully lost every marble he was hanging onto and Kaufmo.. well he realized how much he really missed those two together.

- Post Queenie, I think their relationship evolves from annoyance to much more understanding, not knowing eachother too personally as one would hope, given their circumstances but they would still go out of their way for a quick “are you okay?”

—————

Peepo:

- Peepo is a super sweet guy, and I’d say he was a good acquaintance of Kingers just for the fact there wasn’t too many guys and they were both very friendly.

- Peepo was the first to arrive of this old group, so he was much like in Kingers place with the current crew. However he’s not crazy because this is likely to beginning of when people started to get trapped in the game still, and not too much time had even passed. Aka, more people were entering than abstracting most definitely.

- Anyway, to touch up on the above one, because of this he has a sort of natural leadership over everyone, people seem to seek him out on information about the world just because he’s been there the longest. This includes Kinger! To Peepo, if he needed a right hand man he actually really relied on Kinger.

- There’s a small place by the digital lake that no one knows about except Peepo. When the sun starts to set he almost always likes to just.. go outside the tent and walk to it, and the only person he ended up showing was Kinger. It became sort of a spot for just them to talk, which is likely what made them closer. Kinger later would use this exact spot to ask Queenie out…Jumping to canon, the only person who knows of the spot now is Kinger, and he often goes there to seclude himself.

—————

Moppsy:

- Even though I put her here, I can’t really come up with anything! I use Moppsy as the first abstraction Kinger would witness, and likely didn’t really know her or have a relationship with her. Putting her here to include this though!

—————

Pomni:

- Woo!! Og cast now!! I think Pomni and Kinger will get along well given time. While Kinger is certainly.. eclectic in his personality at this point in his stay in the circus, I think Pomni would be comfortable talking to him about things more than Jax or Zooble, who knows! Just based on what I know from the pilot.

- Kinger used to invite anyone and everyone into the pillow forts he made, but once majority of the old cast abstracted I’d assume he stopped completely, instead using it as his own safe haven. However, Pomni is the first one that he very awkwardly asks if she would like to come inside, which leads to him feeling more inclined and comfortable to invite the others.

- Kinger notices and thinks Pomni is very different than the others, anyone he’s known so far infact and he probably outright tells her this because he lacks the ability to really filter his thoughts anymore. She doesn’t quite understand the nonsense he babbles out about it, but in the series if Pomni finds the exit or changes the circus for the better or WHATEVER goes on as she’s the protagonist, I’m just gonna say Kinger had a gut feeling from the start.

- Pomni seems to care the most when Kinger wants to show someone a bug, and that can be left up to the interpretation that the others just got tired of him doing it all the time and Pomnis not used to it yet, or she genuinely just tries to nod along and it makes him very happy to get a response.

—————

Ragatha:

- I think during the whole old cast abstracting and being replaced, if we look at the lineup of how everyone entered, I think Ragatha was the only one to actually know Queenie. Atleast see in person for a while, perhaps.

- I think those two would have gotten along SOOO well but!! This is about Kinger,, and I think Kinger and Ragatha also get along very well. She reminds him of Slinky…

- They both know they don’t talk or vent about their own problems at all, atleast anymore for Kinger. They are both bad at keeping it bottled up inside and while they both understand this about eachother, they don’t pry.

- If anything they have tea together often, and only they know alot about tea and really really enjoy it so it’s like their own bonding thing in a way.

- Ragatha came out to him first as a lesbian for some interesting strange reason, though if we follow my beloved trans Queenie hc I like to apply to things sometimes then she likely did it because she knows Kinger isn’t judgmental on lgbt topics.

—————

Zooble:

- I enjoy thinking of Zooble as an angsty teenage child compared to Kingers senile old dad energy

- I think in Kingers eyes they seem to get along a little bit but he’s just a tad intimidated. In Zoobles eyes they wouldn’t let anyone know how much they really like Kinger, afterall he’s nothing but sweet when being spoken with. It’s a nice break from.. Jax or Caine, even the others who are very emotional. Yes they can be kind too, but it’s like you don’t have to try with Kinger because he’s so finicky that he doesn’t remember every detail of your interaction to judge you on it anymore.

- I like to think whenever Kinger needs help with something Zooble lets out a dramatic sigh and goes to help him (no one asked them to and anyone else could’ve volunteered but okay Zoob we know you just genuinely like his company)

- Zooble gave him a weighted blanket as a gift to include in his pillow forts once and he had a panic attack while under it once because he couldn’t move (he loves it so so much I promise)

- Again hhh Dad Daughter vibe I really enjoy it I think Queenie would’ve adored Zooble like a mother too plsplsplsolsolsols

—————

Jax:

- Jax would call Kinger a boomer a lot and it stresses Kinger out so much because he doesn’t know what it means and when he asked Zooble to explain it to him they convinced him it was slur and so Kinger got Caine to censor the word boomer

- Kinger is like genuinely terrified of Jax and how much of a menace he is, he’s never known anyone that acts like this mf its insane

- Kinger does infact has some pet bugs in a large terrarium in his room and because Jax has keys to everyone’s rooms he with steal Kingers bugs (an example, the centipede he put in Ragathas room? Probably Kingers..)

- Kinger honestly tries his best to avoid Jax hhshs

—————

Gangle:

- Kinger is probably the closest to Gangle of everyone in the current cast.

- Gangle likes to draw and write and ramble and everything to Kinger, even when she has her tragedy mask on, he seems to cheer her up a little just by hanging out near her. Kinger really enjoys it.

- When Gangle does have her happy mask on, it irks something inside Kinger. She really reminds him of Wriggle. And he was much closer to Wriggle than Slinky so.. it bothers him a bit unlike Ragatha being similar to Slinky in few ways.

- She introduced him to anime and while she has a giant ass list of ones she enjoys he’s.. just quite fixated on ghibli movies… he finds them neat.

- They are.. autism buddies.. More so it’s well aware with everyone that Kinger is diagnosed with Autism but Gangle isn’t diagnosed, and Kinger is the only one staring HARD like “hhh ik what you are” fr fr anyway because I hc them both as autistic that’s another reason they tend to group together and get along more.

[emotoangel]

okay! today we’re gonna have a chat about some things I don’t usually chat about, because if it helps one person then it’s worth it! from someone who’s been there, if you’re in The Bad Place mentally right now, here are my tips for how to make it through!

I’m not a doctor or a medical professional of any kind, but I have been there, and I’ve seen lots of doctors and medical professionals (and part of my work is giving people this kind of advice) so I will relay on to you both what has been told to me and what I have tried.

first of all, if you’re reading this I love you, and there is nothing you cannot make it through. I know you don’t want to be strong right now, I know you just want things to be better or over or to be able to rest, and I know it’s really fucking hard to try and keep going when things feel like this, but I promise you there is nothing that is worth losing your life. absolutely nothing. no one deserves to take that from you - not family, not friends, not partners, and certainly not incredibly shitty celebrities or politicians. your life is special and powerful and you can make it through this, I promise you. so here are some things that will help:

1. try and practice even an ounce of self care. and I genuinely mean even an ounce. if you can’t brush your teeth, rinse your mouth with mouthwash or water. go to the toilet. shower if you can. have a glass of water or a drink you enjoy. brush your hair, or if you can’t brush it then put it up and out of your face. do some skincare, something, anything! if you feel like you can barely move from your bed, move to sit on the floor. just do something. move from wherever you’re currently rotting just for a minute.

2. if there is absolutely anyone you trust, call them. you don’t have to tell them how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking about or why you feel how you feel (though if you feel up to it, doing so will help) - you can talk to them about anything. ask them about what they’re doing this upcoming weekend. talk to them about a tv show you saw recently. talk about literally anything with them. just interacting with someone will make at least a little bit of a difference.

3. breathing exercises are fine if they work for you, if they don’t, try grounding exercises, such as the 5 senses technique. think about 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can touch, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste. distract your brain even for a minute to give yourself just a little bit of respite.

4. do something you love. hey, you’re thinking about dying anyway, you might as well try something you enjoy first - right? listen to an UPBEAT song you enjoy (sad songs are fine, but ideally you want something to shock the system a little). if you aren’t able to think of a song, listen to some one direction (I personally recommend don’t forget where you belong, because you can’t not laugh a little when they sing ‘if you ever feel alone - don’t!’ because it’s just so fucking ridiculous) or fucking LMFAO or something. I dunno, man. listen to something that will make you laugh, like something by weird al yancovic or cosmo Jarvis or something. If you don’t wanna do music, make something. draw something shit! try and draw a dog from memory. make a paper airplane. crochet a square. just do SOMETHING that you enjoy. if you haven’t found joy in it recently, that’s okay. do it anyway. at least then something new exists that didn’t before, and that’s so cool right?

5. if you are in a place (country, state, county etc.) that has even some semblance of decent medical care, and you feel capable of doing so, call your GP/doctor and ask them for an emergency appointment. if you’re in the UK call 111. tell someone how you’re feeling IF it is safe to do so where you are. see if you can get some help.

6. if literally all else fails, do anything (within reason) that you can to fall asleep. listen to sleep sounds, meditation music, rain sounds idk. have a wank. take a singular melatonin tablet. spray lavender sleep spray. wrap yourself up in a heated blanket. have a bath. do whatever you need to do to get you to sleep. if it takes you 2 hours to fall asleep, it takes you 2 hours. you have panic attacks and you cry and you beg for someone to sedate you but you do not give up. you get some sleep.

and then you get up and you try again tomorrow. and maybe tomorrow you can brush your hair. or you can drink some water. have a slice of toast. brush your teeth. listen to a song you like. call a friend. call a helpline. call a doctor. and if you can’t, that’s fine. you try those things again the next day. and you keep trying. until eventually it comes more easily to you.

I don’t want to sound patronising, but if you’re thinking about ending it all then you’re already at rock bottom. it will feel like nothing can get worse. you will feel like everything is ending and this is your only option. so why not try a couple of these things, right? because things can’t really get worse. either they help a little or they do nothing, and then at least you’ve tried, right?

and I’m telling you now that bare minimum one of these things will help you, at least a little. I don’t live next door to you - I can’t provide resources for every single state, county, street, country in the world, but I promise you those resources are out there. and I can tell you now, from someone who’s been at rock bottom, it’s only up from here.

things will get better. you will meet friends who love you. friends who care about you more than you ever thought you could be cared about. you’ll see animals in the street and people in love and new flowers and you’ll try new foods and you’ll learn to love that shit spread that everyone enjoys that you hate. and you will have bad days. because bad days in life are inevitable. but you will make it through them all. right now, you only need to make it through this one.

if you need a hug, I am hugging you. if you need someone to tell you things will be okay, I am telling you right now things will be okay. if you need a sign to keep fucking screaming and crying and kicking and clawing to stay alive right now, take this as your fucking sign.

you can do this. everything will be alright in the end, and if its not alright, it’s not the end.

[disastrouscanasta]

Happy Happy Happy exchange day to my new pal @guarnerepdf, whom I very unfortunately accidentally revealed my identity to, but the point of the exchange is to interact, and we did plenty of that :)

As such, here is part one of your gift, aka the fic portion!

(part 2, aka the completely unrelated web weave)

***

No One Can Deny by Disastrous_Canasta on Ao3

***

Rating: T / Pairing: Luztoye & Bill/Fran / Bill Guarnere CENTRIC. Man this was just about him, I'll be honest / 3769 words

Joe was a long suffering bastard, though. The sonofabitch wouldn’t bring it up first in any universe. It was Bill’s job to pry it out of him, not as his senior NCO, but as his friend.

“You’d tell me if something was the matter, wouldn’t ya?” He asked, sincere and as patient as he could manage.

OR

Bill has known Joe Toye for years, through thick and thin, from Georgia all the way to Belgium and back to the States. It's not lost on him that his friend is acting differently.

***

He’d gotten so used to looking out for the other guys on the front lines, Bill didn’t even realise he was doing it, not anymore.

Bill scoured every letter that passed through his hands, every phone call, every mention, every little visit from the other guys, just to be sure. They weren’t in danger now, not from shellings, bullets or the like. But civilian life posed its own challenges, Bill knew that more than anyone else.

Somehow, it still surprised him when Joe Toye of all people started acting strange. Strange was an odd word, especially when it came to Joe. He wasn’t jumping at the walls or anymore determined than he usually was– And Bill would know, he’d spent months on end sitting in a hospital bed next to the fucker– he was just… Strange.

“You’re not making any sense.” Fran told him over coffee, the morning he tried to explain it. “Are you sure the doctor’s didn’t forget to put a piece of metal in your brain?”

“Oh, har-har.” He said, skewering a piece of scrambled eggs with his fork. They were perfect, lightly salted, fluffy, warm, nothing like the Army rations had been. Shacking up with Fran had been good for a lot of things, true love, for one, good cooking for another. “You’ll fit right in with the guys, with that attitude.”

“I plan to.” Fran sipped from her cuppa, still piping hot, the way she liked it, one spoonful of sugar, no milk. “What’re you on about?”

“Joe Toye. He’s acting all weird!”

“He seemed fine last I saw him.” Fran said. Bill had invited Joe over for dinner and beer last Thursday, just like he always did. And Joe accepted, just like he always did. Still waiting on their army pensions, there wasn’t much else for them to do. “Just as grouchy.”

“See! That’s the thing, he’s grouchy, sure. But there’s something else to it.”

“What else?”

“Hell, I dunno!”

Fran shot him a look from behind her cup as she took another drink. How that thing didn’t burn all the way down, Bill had no idea. He stirred his own coffee, equal parts milk and sugar.

“I’m sure you’re right.” Fran conceded.

“I’ll have him over.” Bill said. “When can we have him over?”

Fran didn’t even bother to look up at the quaint little calendar that was hung up on the kitchen wall. “Thursday.”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

**

“Have I got something on my face?” Joe asked, after a long, drawn out moment between them. They were sitting at the kitchen table, Bill’s favourite place for conversations like this, it seemed. They’d had a roast beef for dinner, all three of them, but Fran had wandered away at some point to leave Bill alone with Joe. They hadn’t coordinated it, but it was well executed. Sometimes Bill genuinely wondered if Fran should have employed her skills for the good of the Nation– she could have been a spy, a WAC, hell, she could have jumped into Normandy with the best of them.

“No,” Bill said. He thought long and hard, scanning Joe’s face for any signs of obvious discomfort, resignation, or anything that could give him away.

“You’re just gonna keep looking at me like that?”

When Bill didn’t answer, Joe just sighed, dropping his gaze down to the bottle of beer that Bill had given him. A few years at war with a fellow got you awfully relaxed, even around any weird tendencies. He’d shared a foxhole with Joe once or twice, showered next to him. Things that wouldn’t fly with other folks barely made soldiers bat an eye.

Maybe it was something superficial, in that case, it was part of Bill’s responsibility as Joe’s T. Sergeant– Well, not anymore. But something about it still lingered. If Joe was hurting, if there was something wrong, some shrapnel left under his skin, something wrong with his amputation– Well, Bill couldn’t let that go unaddressed.

Joe was a long suffering bastard, though. The sonofabitch wouldn’t bring it up first in any universe. It was Bill’s job to pry it out of him, not as his senior NCO, but as his friend.

“You’d tell me if something was the matter, wouldn’t ya?” He asked, sincere and as patient as he could manage.

“Sure.” Joe shrugged noncommittally, still staring down the neck of his bottle.

“Joe, you’d tell me, right?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Joe.”

“Goddamnit, yes, fine.” Joe huffed, finally looking up to meet his eyes. “You’d be the first to know.”

“That’s good to hear, buddy.” Bill said proudly. He was Joe’s best friend, no matter the circumstances. “Ever need anything, just let me know. I’ll get it sorted for ya.”

“Thanks.” Joe said it quietly, a little gruffer than you’d expect from anyone else, but this was Joe Toye. Gruff and quiet was his way of being sincere. What a weirdo.

A thought struck Bill, then. “Have you got anyone else?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He could already hear the edge in Joe’s voice.

“No– All I’m saying is–” He sighed, taking a moment to collect himself. “You talk to any of the other guys?”

Bill had plenty. He kept up regular letters with everyone– He had to, at the moment. It was his responsibility to keep these damn things coordinated, otherwise their upcoming reunion would fall apart at the seams.

But even aside from that, he wrote to his friends, war buddies, if you will. Babe lived a couple blocks away, they met up sporadically, he got regular letters from Don Malarkey, one every month from Lipton, and every once in a while he’d get something from Buck, Luz, Garcia, Roe– unexpectedly, indeed, Talbert, Grant– now that he was doing better, Shifty, etc. He kept up with as many as he could.

Joe, on the other hand, wasn’t quite the social butterfly.

“Yeah.” Joe said dismissively. “A few. What about it?”

“Nothing.” Bill shrugged, light and airy as he could. He’d done damage control with Joe before, when both of them were torn up, hanging onto sanity by a string in those sterile hospital rooms, back in those early days, reeling from the changes which had been thrust upon them in the blink of an eye. He was better at it, now.

“It’s hard when you’re breathing down my neck.” Joe said, loosening up a bit, slipping into a more casual tone. “I don’t think I could shake you if I tried.”

“Oh, don’t think you’re getting away from me anytime soon.” Bill said, reassured for the moment.

**

“You don’t think he’s gonna flake on me, do you?” He asked Fran a few days later. He was helping her fix up their little garden. A new house was what he’d saved most of his army wages to buy, and it helped that her family had chipped in as a wedding present, even if they’d been unsure at first.

It was an adjustment, that’s for sure, living with one leg. Maybe that was Joe’s issue, maybe he had his sights set on some girl, maybe it was a problem with the leg! That was something Bill could understand, he could help him navigate it, he’d done it himself!

But, no. If Joe was interested in someone, there was no way that Bill wouldn’t know about it. They were birds of a feather, peas in a pod– either Joe would tell him, or Bill would know it, intuitively. That’s how close they were.

And anyway, the only folks Joe talked to nowadays were his 80-year-old neighbour, a widowed Mrs. Greenwall, and a few fellas from Easy. No bombshell blondes in that equation for Joe to set his sights on.

“Flake? Why would he flake?” Fran asked. She was elbow deep in soil from their brand new planter. It was a housewarming gift from Buck, especially late, considering they’d moved in 5 months earlier, but excused because he only just got into town.

“Well, you know how he can be.” Bill shrugged. He’d offered Fran some help, a few times, but she seemed determined to do it herself. It saved Bill the hassle of washing muck out of the creases of his hands, at least. He swore he’d just finally gotten dirt from France out from under his fingernails.

“He’s quiet, but he’s honest.” Fran grunted, filling the planter and adjusting the soil, evening it out. Bill didn’t envy her, if he was being frank. “He’s not the flaking type.”

“You’re right. I love the guy to bits, but goddamnit if he doesn’t make it hard to read him sometimes.”

“Have you asked him outright?”

“Yeah, just about. As well as I could.”

“Are you sure?”

“You try asking Joe Toye what’s wrong with him, see how far that gets you.”

“Fine, maybe I will.” Fran sat up to look at Bill properly, something challenging in her eyes. She wiped her forehead with her hand, smearing dirt on her temple, just below the red band she wore, tied around her hair. She was a looker, that was sure, even with all the muck. “Joe likes me better, anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Bill laughed. He stood up, perching himself on his crutches to lean forward and press a peck to her lips. “I like you better, too.”

“You have to, that was in the vows.”

“Oh, was it, now?”

Her hands were on his shoulders, wrapping around him to bring them together. Fran was getting his collar, his shirt and his hair all ruined, but for now, with the comfort of their porch in the late Pennsylvanian summer, things weren’t so bad.

**

How Fran had talked Joe Toye into showing up so early to the venue, Bill wasn’t sure he’d ever understand.

Joe was a helpful guy, sure, but he wasn’t fit as a fiddle as of current. How he was expected to carry boxes and get everything ready, Bill wasn’t sure. He wasn’t even doing that work himself, he’d fooled the poor idiots who came to meet him in his home a few days before the reunion. Don and Buck would have a great time catching up, so long as they could talk and set up a banquet-hall’s worth of chairs at the same time.

If there was one person Bill was sure could do so, it was George Luz, who showed up not long after the rest of them.

“Joe said you needed help with stuff. I’ve been roped in, unfortunately.” He said after a joyful greeting. It was Luz, what else would you expect?

“Joe’s been talking to you, huh?” Bill said. He wasn’t close with George, but they weren’t distant, neither. They just kind of were.

“Yeah, since he got taken off the line.” George blinked. “Same as you.”

“Right.” They had exchanged a few letters– keyword: few. Bill was chattier with the other guys, and George was surprisingly hard to talk to through writing. He was an in-person guy, Bill had gathered the moment he received his first short, awkward letter at the hospital.

“Is he here?” George asked.

“He’s busy, Fran’s got him working on seating arrangements.” It wasn’t a job for Joe Toye, but it did give Fran plenty of time to ask him all she wanted. “In the meantime, why don’t you get at it, help the Lieutenant over there move that table.”

Buck looked up, having been mentioned, waved at George and shouted something. George shouted back a greeting, smiled at Bill and took up his slack. If army boys had one thing going for them, it was a penchant for getting a job done when they were asked.

Bill had a chance in charge, for once. Getting to boss around his former officer, and he was not letting it go to waste.

** “You’ve been writing to Luz?” Bill asked Joe, later that day. They’d gotten everything sorted, more people had shown up, and the two of them had popped back to Bill’s for some last minute pickups and adjustments.

Fran hadn’t gotten through to Joe, unfortunately. Though neither of them were truly surprised, Joe Toye was a tough cookie.

“Yeah, every once in a while.” Joe said. “He writes to all of us.”

“You talked to him yesterday, though?” Bill remembered what George had said, the reason he’d shown up early in the first place, because Joe had told him they needed help with things. Well, that was a bit suspicious, if you asked him.

Joe hummed an affirmative.

“When?” Bill asked, because he couldn’t let a subject like that drop for the life of him, especially not now.

“He came over. We had a couple drinks.” Joe shrugged. “Why does it matter?”

For one thing, Luz had never come over to Bill’s, even though Bill’s reunion was the only reason Luz was in Philly in the first place. And second of all, Bill hadn’t thought Luz was that close with Toye.

“Is this a new thing?”

“New thing? It’s not any type of thing. He just wanted to talk. It’s Luz, what else could you expect?”

Wasn’t that the truth. Luz was a chatterbox if ever there was one.

“How’s he doing?”

“As well as any of us, I’m sure.” Joe adjusted his pant leg, pulling it down properly over his prosthetic. He was debuting his new leg for the first real time in public, especially in front of all of Easy Company– the ones who’d RSVP’d of course– and he didn’t seem quite as confident as he could have.

“Stop fiddling with it, it’s gonna be fine.” Bill promised. They were waiting for Fran to loop around in their car to come get them and the boxes of stuff they’d remembered to bring. It gave Toye plenty of time to agonise over his leg.

“I think it’s sitting weird.” Joe winced. They both knew that it wasn’t really painful, just uncomfortable. There were a few reasons why Bill was foregoing it, in exchange for his trusted pair of wooden crutches. They were strong, sturdy and didn’t chafe.

Joe, on the other hand, was a little bit more under-the-radar. He wanted to draw less attention to the missing limb. He wasn’t ashamed of it, exactly. But Bill knew where he was coming from. Sometimes it got tiring, answering questions, feeling people’s eyes on you. Bill was used to it, he didn’t mind the attention so much, But Joe had never been quite so open.

“You look great.” Bill said, once Joe had successfully readjusted the socket. “I’m serious, you’re… all dressed up.”

“I’m not dressed up. No more than everyone else will be.” Joe was wearing a loose suit, something new, that’s for sure. Looked like he could wear it to a job interview, maybe even a fancy dinner. Something better than meeting up with old buddies who’d seen him stripped down to his worst. He’d styled his hair, too, polished his shoes. Bill’s jacket wasn’t quite so high quality, and had been a staple of his wardrobe since before the war– he was lucky he still fit into it.

“Y’don’t have to be so worried about seeing everyone again.” Bill patted him once on the shoulder, solid and companionable. “They’re just happy to see you on your feet.”

“I’m happy to see any of them.”

Bill paused, looking for something substantial enough to say, but in the end he settled on honesty. “Me too, buddy. Me too.”

**

The reunion, for all intents and purposes, was a success. Bill celebrated the sentiment with champagne– gifted to him by Captain Nixon, who hadn’t shown up, but had sent his regards with a bottle of something expensive. Bill and Fran were both appreciative, they drank it over dinner.

At a certain point, the table arrangements that Fran had made up (with the help of Joe, supposedly. Though Bill still believed that he’d done nothing of the sort, and had sat there diligently and listened to Fran’s questions.) had been abandoned, and it was a free for all. Bill had started the night with Babe, Joe and Malarkey sitting at his little table with Fran, then at some point, Malarkey had gone off to sit with Perconte, Talbert and Luz, then those three, and subsequently many members of E Company had come to thank Bill for his hard work. It felt well-earned.

“People don’t realise how much effort goes into these things.” Bill said, who’d started understanding it for himself a few weeks prior.

“I’m sure.” Buck Compton said. “It’s tough to manage the military in the military, let alone pack them all into one building for fun.”

“Exactly!” Bill smiled. He was a bit tipsy, though a lot of the feeling came from the warmth of reunion. The chance to see his friends again. It was one thing to know they’d survived and come back unscathed, it was another to see them before him, eating and talking and laughing like nothing had ever happened.

There were things he didn’t bother mentioning to Compton, for example the hassle it had been to get a venue he could get into easily. Guys like him and Joe needed a little help now and then, and it was received better by both of them if it was Bill doing the helping, by avoiding the obstacles all together.

Fran had her hand in the crook of Bill’s elbow, a warm, reassuring weight through the whole night. At a certain point, Buck got up to mill about, Babe had gone off to chat up one of the medics, and all of the others had flocked away from the table. This included Joe.

Joe sat off on a table against the wall all by himself. He nursed a glass of beer as he looked out on the crowd.

“I’m gonna go talk to him.” Bill decided. He moved to stand, but Fran gripped his arm.

“He’ll be fine, Bill.” She said.

“Well.” Bill muttered. “I guess he will. I still don’t like it, though.”

“Maybe he needs some time to himself, who knows?”

“Or he feels like shit.” Bill pointed out, but he turned to face her anyway. “I don’t know what happened to me. Wild Bill, huh?”

“You matured.” She told him. Fran wore a soft smile, Bill reciprocated it when she kissed his cheek. “You’re plenty wild. I’ve heard the stories from Babe.”

“Don’t listen to anything Babe Heffron tells you.”

She laughed, loud and bright. “I’ll take it with a grain of salt.”

Bill kept his eyes trained on her, taking in the moment. He was high off of the feeling of accomplishment and warm from the glee of it all. Easy Company gathered together once more, who woulda thunk it?

Where would they go from here, he wondered? What else was there, after the war, after the reunion. For him it was a beautiful wife and a lovely house, for others, it was work. How could someone go back to another job after they’d parachuted into France?

Joe was thinking of moving out of Philly, to settle back where he grew up, in a small town a hundred miles away. He was going to look for a job working around mines, even though he couldn’t very well be knee deep in coal anymore, working away with a pickaxe like he used to (when Bill imagined it, he couldn’t help but think of a comic strip from the newspaper, people still worked in mines? Even when they could be out and about, embracing the new age?) 

“You’re thinking about Joe again, aren’t you.” Fran said, though she didn’t look disappointed. Just sort of amused and unsurprised.

“Yeah, I am.”

“You’re worried about him.”

“No one knows him better than me, I guarantee you that.” Bill pointed out. He was Joe Toye’s… best friend, as childish as it was. Hell, they’d fought tooth and nail together to survive, they were allowed to be a little juvenile when it came to stuff like that. Brothers of war, and all that.

“I’m sure.”

“Why’re you doing that with your face, then?”

“What?”

“Raising the eyebrow, like you don’t believe me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are, you definitely are.” Bill squinted at her. “You really don’t think I know him?”

“I think you do. I just think you have competition for knowing him the most.”

She pointed to the table off in the corner, where Joe had been sitting by himself not moments before. Now, unexpectedly, George Luz was tucked up in the chair opposite him, speaking low and gesturing as he talked. Joe looked completely and entirely focused. Even from where he was sitting, Bill could see the softness in his eyes.

“He looks like you, right now.” Fran said.

“What?”

“The look in his eyes, it’s the way you look at me.”

Bill blinked. What.

“Nah, it can’t be.” Bill squinted at them.

“What can’t be?”

“I’m just–” Bill shook his head, turning back to Fran. “It’s not important.”

She eyed him again, “You’d better not mess that up.”

“I won’t.” Bill said defensively. “I’m not sure what it is… But you know me.”

“I do. You’d better not say a word to them.”

“I won’t.”

Bill cast a sideways look off at Joe, he couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but he heard the soft tones of George’s voice. It made sense, really. Bill hadn’t seen it coming, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t true. Joe was his friend. If Bill was to dwell on it, he'd find himself focusing on the fact that he'd missed so many indications. That didn't make him feel too great.

“You’re so damn observant.” Bill said to Fran, looking to drop the subject like a hot coal. Que sera, sera, and all that. Wasn't up to him any longer what Luz and Toye got up to. All he knew was that he'd be inviting Joe over for beers just the same that Thursday night. They were paratroopers, for god's sake, that meant more than... well, he wasn't sure. He was Joe's friend, though. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“I don’t know how you don’t. He mentioned George to me about five times.”

“That cheeky fucker.” Bill said, and then he startled. “I’m still used to the army. Sorry.”

“I’ll survive.” Fran said, leaning in close. “It’s not like any of these fellows have the cleanest words.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re used to it, because I’m planning to have another one next year.”

Fran rolled her eyes, but she gave him a peck on the lips, which Bill counted as a success.

***

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it :)

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

whats the deal with greene man who is he why is he and where is he

He’s an oc from a few months back, developed world lore and his lore, this was a thing I did together with my friends as well

Was basically all I drew for months

If anyone is interested in a small lore dump…⬇️

For a quick rundown, basically the story is based in the future. It’s super dystopian, massive cities where there is the EXTREME WEALTH and then the EXTREME POOR. In this future medicine is all whacked out, so people can go in and just get their limbs replaced no questions asked where it came from. Since poor people aren’t real the lower classes were typically pulled in for body part harvesting/experimentation to develop medicines or spliced beings.

These limbs/body parts tend to keep a sort of “memory” in a way. Say you got your arms replaced but the previous person who had those arms was like really good at origami, congrats you’re good at origami now. It might not make a whole lot of technical sense but. I dunno it’s a play on muscle memory!!!

Anyway for Greene specifically, he was a lower class as a kid and just got sucked into the experimental/harvesting stuff just cuz HE EXISTS. for him, the experimenting part was the idea of an outsider being able to experience and just peer into someone else's memories (i think it would be used regarding law and control stuff, may or may not have drawn inspiration from 1984 for that…) so he gets all brain scrambled and stuff

then some not poor person is like shlawg i want an eye and they are like hey we have those and thats why his face is stupid. he does have an eye but its a replacement one. and like i said limbs/organs hold a special sort of memory so that kinda extra makes him weird. he sees stuff! wowie! only sometimes… also he thinks he has a wife but like he doesnt. he is only 23 and has no interest in anyone he does not have a wife but sometimes hes like man i havent seen my wife in a while and everyone else is like haha ok buddy

Despite how I drew him and all that he’s actually very happy (or something) he deals with everything by going wow that’s crazy lalalalalalala skips around yay

He lives in a found family sort of situation with my friends @lucid-daydreaming-art and @ghostlykatt and my other friend who doesn’t have a tumblr characters :)

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

Things I noticed the nth time watching Nimona:

Knight armour can get sliced through like nobody's business (Balister's arm), but can take a laser hit without serious, body-altering consequences (Director hitting Ambrosius with a laser made from the same one that apparently has the power to wipe out half the realm, or kill an Immortal being who doesn't feel severe pain from an arrow wound)?

...is this because Ambrosius' armour was made to be more protective than Balister's?

"She manipulated BOTH of us." Ambrosius says this about Nimona, who he had very few interactions with aside from her very blatantly fucking shit up for the institute. How did she manipulate HIM?

I guess it probably makes sense when you consider he was going to arrest the director, implying that he believed Bal AND Nimona, but I dunno. The little rat in my head started running on its brain-powering wheel at all the possible fanfic plots this could lead to.

Nimona as Ambrosius grabbed the Gloreth statue when they fell to the ground.

On the one hand, this could just be actor!Nimona putting dramatic emphasis on how even in death, the leaders of the realm will cling to their hopes and beliefs, or the golden boy finally getting to join his ancestor.

On the other hand, we could make it deliciously angsty (yum yum) and say it is Nimona's personal desire to grab the statue of Gloreth for reasons such as: taking down the monster-killer image of her former friend out of anger and sadness because she never wanted that image to be so true in representing one of the few people who ever cared about her even briefly;

OR, While trying to think about how she would act if she were actually dying, she reaches for the closest thing to a friend that she has, but this is her staging a false death, as that particular friendship was false so this is just fitting, isn't it?;

OR, They wanted it to spread a message that with the fall of the director, would come the fall of the corrupt system they live in, as well as the fall of this narrow-minded view of both Nimona and Gloreth's story as well as Gloreth and Nimona themselves.

Nimona freaking out about the arrow in their leg in the comic vs Nimona treating it like a little scrape not to be worried about in the movie.

This is really interesting to me. In the comic, it's played up for humor like Nimona is almost overreacting, then having Bal take care of her because he does care about her. This shows it as a bit silly, but so very meaningful.

Then you have the movie where Balister is freaking out and it's kind of funny because clearly Nimona is relatively fine about it, so he doesn't really need to make a big deal out of it. Then he helps her and is still very careful about it like with anyone else's arrow wound, and asks her questions so he can better understand them. Again so very important.

I love both versions of these scenes, I just am so curious about why they made such a drastic change.

I love this movie so freaking much. (I knew that already, but it bears saying for the thousandth time. It's just so fucking good.)

For this last one:

TW: mention of police brutality (discussed as a theme in the movie, nothing specific outside of the Nimona movie)

"He's got a weapon." It's not a weapon. It's a phone. But Todd (and who knows how many of the other knights) didn't choose to see it as anything other than what the director told him it was, and destroyed it as he was trained to do. This screams messaging about the stupid, dangerous, and harmful actions of too many police officers who don't check the situation for themselves before acting on "information" they gathered from insufficient data and/or unreliable sources, and combine that with profiling to make decisions that so often end up being harmful and even fatal to others.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC interview

Thanks @mk-writes-stuff here!

Rules: answer the following questions in the POV of an OC!

How have I not done Robbie, Noelle, or Kelsey?? I'll do Robbie so he's next to Akash.

Are you named after anyone?

“Nope. [Pause] Wait, I actually don't know.... ... Hold on.” *pulls out his phone and immediately texts his mom "hey mutti did you know anyone named robert in alium and did you name me after him"*

When was the last time you cried?

“Inside Out 2. I think I'm justified.”

Do you have kids?

*bursts out laughing* “Dude, how old do ya think I AM?!”

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

“Wait, hold on, I have to think about this. [Pause] mmm... Nah, I think my humor is more random and silly. And a bit of sass.”

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

“Dude, do you think I'm paying that much attention?? I have no idea. Maybe like...three things about them. Like three traits. Hair, clothes, skin tone... Maybe glasses. Or another defining feature. I dunno, it just depends on the person. This is a weird question. Who thinks about these things?!”

What’s your eye colour?

“Brown but everyone says they're black. I think that's scientifically impossible, but Alii are odd creatures. Maybe my eyes are black! Who knows?!”

Scary movies or happy endings?

“... What? That doesn't make sense.” (he's thinking that these are not opposites and his brain short circuited)

Any special talents?

“Uh...well, I guess I'm, like, witty. I think I'm funny. I'm good in school if I can focus. Uh... I can act! Yeah that's cool. I'm awesome at the improv warmup games.”

Where were you born?

“Hold on.” *texts his mom "oh btw i also need to know where i was born like was it here or in alium"

Do you have any pets?

“I'm too irresponsible for a pet. Akash would have to take care of them.”

What sort of sports do you play?

“Hahahahaha, good one. Seriously, though, my depth perception and hand-eye coordination actually sucks. Please, for everyone's safety, don't put me in sports.”

How tall are you?

“Five-foot-six. Which is a perfectly acceptable yet kinda boring height to be. Been this tall since, like, fifth grade, though, so it is rather annoying. I was easily the tallest in the class, including my teacher, but then my body decided, 'y'know what? You're done!' and Akash is taller than me now; it sucks.”

What was your favourite subject in school?

“I like the robotics class a lot, but I gotta say theater. I have wayyy too much fun in that class! I'll never forget the time I had to wear a sweater vest for a duo performance I did where I played a reflection.”

What is your dream job?

“Ahhhh too many things to choose from! Robotics is super cool, but do I want to do that for the rest of my life?! I don't think so, as a career. What about theater?! Acting would be awesome. I'd like to have my own YouTube channel, too, and just make bank playing Fortnite. Man, this is hard.”

Other Interviews: Wade, Jazlyn, Gwen, Lexi, Carla, Carmen, Maddie, Liam, Ash, Rose, Akash

✨Robbie intro✨

Tagging @inkednotebook @museandquill @paeliae-occasionally @buffythevampirelover @cataclysmic-writer

+ ANYONE ELSE

Blanks below the cut

Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What’s the first thing you notice about people? What’s your eye colour? Scary movies or happy endings? Any special talents? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? What sort of sports do you play? How tall are you? What was your favourite subject in school? What is your dream job?

[cybernetic-panda]

Okay so I finally got the spell slots to write my first little fanfic! Any feedback is appreciated andddd whatever else!

It's been a year since the events of the movie. Orm traveled for a while but still wanted to grow his familial connection with Arthur and Atlanna. Arthur has a friend relatively nearby to the lighthouse. Allowing space between the two brothers, but Orm is close enough for Arthur to tap his guidance. 

Noelle works as a blacksmith. She sells stuff online and travels for conventions, is obsessed with Atlantis weaponry and armor. Met Arthur when he was younger training with Dafoe Char and begged to see his cool ass weapon. Is a metahuman essentially like a wyvern. Her scales are bronze she can withstand high temperatures and can hold her breath for 60 minutes. (Like a water dragon essentially) Functions okay in society mostly wears under armor to cover the scales that show on her limbs and makeup on her face. 

The high point of Noelle's year was finally being able to get her hands on Atlanis scrap metal. After nagging Arthur for years she'd finally got the best gift from him. Well, not so much from him but telling his fantastic mother, Atlanna, what she wanted to make. Low and behold not less than 24 hours later Arthur presented himself at her workshop with a beautiful haul. 

"Can't believe you complained to my mom Noe." He huffed throwing down the sack of metal. "I was gonna get to it eventually."

Humming Noelle nodded and started to sort through her new treasure trove. "Christmas is right around the corner Arthur. I can't make Orm's gift with the shit I have here, it had to be from Atlantian metal." She pauses and turns to give him a stern look. "If you had gotten the scraps I asked for I dunno, fifteen years ago when I started asking I would've been done AND been able to make you kickass weapons for those last couple big bad fights you've had. So swim off my friend I will see you in three weeks, as you still took your sweet time I have to work straight to the day of to make Orm's gift."

Arthur breaks out in a grin and begins to walk away."I expect a cool gift too this year! And a fucking kickass weapon for Junior!"

"Of course, I'm making Juniors' first trident, I'm the royal blacksmith!" Noelle quipped back without looking at him.

"Yeah still gotta go through "official" channels for that, still hell ya!"

-Fast Forward Three Weeks-

"Sorry for being late! Doing some finishing touches." Out of breath, Noelle breached the front door of the lighthouse. 

Tom was the first welcoming face Noelle catches. "Don't fret you're not late, just finishing up Junior opening presents first.' Wrapping his arm around Atlanna he places a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Heard we'll be seeing something impressive from you this evening." 

Laughing awkwardly "Well I certainly hope so, if it's okay I wanna give Orm my gift really quick. Don't think I can wait another second! I wrapped it and whatnot but I'm excited to see him open it." Tom motioned to the back porch where Orm and Arthur were having what looked like a heated debate. "Thank you!" Noelle placed her bag of gifts to the side and clutching the weapon case proceeded to the backdoor.

"You cannot just allow anyone to come into Atlantis if they beat you in an arm wrestling match. That one makes no sense, two is not a basis for immigration or visitation. I agreed with you in revealing Atlantis to the surface world, but I cannot agree with such a pufferfish-brained idea!" Orm finishes his tangent with a huff and runs his hand through his hair. Looking up he spots Noelle coming out and unfurrows his brow. "Noelle tell Arthur that flexing his muscles at everything is not the answer." 

Chuckling Noelle breaks into a large grin, "You know he's joking Orm. I mean if it's the same 'arm wrestle to barter, debate, etc.' idea he had when he was seventeen then I assume he's joking." Turning to Arthur Noelle cocks her head questioningly. "Ruffling his feathers again for fun?"

Getting up from where he was leaning on the railing, putting his hands up in a defensive manner, "Ya got me! I already took your notes for an ideal visitation selection and immigration policy for surface dwellers and Atlannians. Still working on conditions for both to visit safely, but eh ya know nerd stuff. Anyway, I'm gonna head inside and let you kids enjoy a moment.' Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Orm and Noelle, Arthur sauntered back in the house. 

"Alllll right well whatever on that. Orm! I have a Christmas gift for you!." Noelle thrusts the case on Orm with an oomph! and began to watch him with giddy anticipation. 

Orm takes a second to recover and evaluate the case in front of him, as he does Noelle not being able to contain her giddiness starts to describe the case.

"SO I was thinking of a combination of land and sea, you'll notice them with the whole gift. The case is made of a couple of layers of driftwood and I got your mom to help with the Atlantian Script."  Orm runs his hands over the Orm Marius etched into the box and smiles. He places the case on the railing has his carefully opens the case. As he opens the case completely his breath catches in his throat and he freezes. Sensing some confusion Noelle steps closer and continues her description. 

"So all royals have a trident annndd yours broke so ta-da! The handle is made from a piece of your mother's original trident Arthur was able to find. And then.." Noelles' voice fades away as Orm focuses on each inch of the trident. After a moment he finally starts to grasp the the weapon with both hands to take it out of its case. Miracously its feels like an extension of himself, the weight of the weapon feels right. When moving his hands a bit more something catches his right hand he lifts it up closer and sees inscribed on the handle in Altantian 'OceanMaster'. Noelle's voice fades back in," I had put OceanMaster because ya know I think it fits you in the way you've Mastered the ocean and are an advisor to the King of the Oceans. I can buff it out if it is too much." Noelle nervously sways back and forth on her heels looking down and waiting for some form of answer.

"I accept." Orm finally replies after what feels like hours. Noelle looks up in confusion as Orm gingerly leans the trident on the railing swings around picks up Noelle in a bridal carry. "I accept your proposal and will be honored to be your husband. I'm sorry I have nothing prepared in return." He kisses her tenderly on her lips as she still processes what he's saying. "However," He leans in close to whisper, "I can certainly make it up to you when we go home this evening." 

[springonmytraptillicomeback]

do you have... any more thoughts.

on the. afton rabbit therian thing.

Yes absolutely

sorry if this is becomes like a late reply it might take me a while to type all this out

also I realize that I projected a lot onto him

Things I’ve already mentioned:

He has a foot stomping stim, especially when he’s irritated or annoyed (just like me fr fr)

Above average hearing, able to hear pitches others can’t (autism)

Skittish and jumpy in situations he’s nervous/scared 

Chewing habit. Will chew on just about anything he’s holding + reason for lip biting habit, his lips aren’t dry, just scabbed (JUST like me fr fr)

Quick and lean, with his legs being his strongest

Hyperactive and energetic when not sleep deprived

Starting with liek idk jsut alterhuman things

I wanna talk abt Springbonnie bcuz that’s William’s biggest outlet for whatever alterhuman shit he’s got going one

He’s probably the most comfortable in that suit than he ever is… like, ever. Springbonnie is I dunno how to explain this. Like a part of him. fursona.? yeah

Basically being in a giant rabbit suit makes many good feelings in his brain -> Easter’s his favorite holiday cuz he gets to be in the suit all day 

He was the type of kid that be running around on all fours at recess (I’m projecting I was that kid 😔✊). Totally would’ve been one of the kids that think they’re like a werewolf or something (I was also that kid)

sometimes he genuinely jsut forgets he’s human, also kind of an autistic thing. He’ll be like sitting on a chair reading a book and suddenly remember he’s a human like everyone else he sees in life and not some ambiguous rabbit-like entity

also if he’s ever walking with anyone he actually likes (henry, his kids) and they come across a wild rabbit he will point it out and will not drop it until the other person acknowledges the bunny

Other things he does that r rabbity to me

Likes dry salad, not drenched in ranch or anything, or any other dressing, just leaves and like… whatever else is in salad idk I haven’t had one in years

loves small spaces. If he’s ever overwhelmed at work he just sits under his desk for a few minutes; Henry has “lost” him at least three times to this. He always makes sure when he buys a new bed frame that he can fit under it (I can’t fit under my new one and I am still so upset abt it ☹️)

he’s a very jumpy man if that makes sense. He’s happy or excited he does that lil bouncy thing on his toes. You scared him and he goes ten feet in the air, or he just freezes. (me fr fr)

If his nose is itchy he does that nose scrunching thing

He loves fluffy clothing. Not only is it comfortable but also kinda like fur. Unfortunately there’s really not a lot of fluffy clothing fit for summer, but at least he has his robe

I think he’s also got that leporidae swag. One second he’s like a cute bunny next second he’s got the 1000 yard stare of a hare

He’s probably let random weird shit slip in conversations, like “Life would be easier if I was a bunny”, “Being human is boring”, etc. and Henry just had to get used to it

If he was alive internet-aged (this also applies to glitchtrap-William) he’d totally secretly look at bunny stuff. Like, furries, alter humans, pet regression etc.

Also he collects bunny things, like plushies, figurines, pictures. He has an entire bookcase in his room that just has a bunch of rabbit objects that he’s found while out shopping.  i might end up adding more later idk idk

[thepatchycat]

BNHA x Persona Crossover Idea Dump

So this is the bone my brain has been gnawing on all day. Ramblings about a potential fusion under the cut!

General Worldbuilding

I really don’t have a cohesive plot in mind, as I’ve just been mashing P4, P5, and BNHA together in my head, but I think this would need a unique set-up rather than just following one of the games (P3 might have been a useful influence, too, but I haven’t played or watched a playthrough of that one; I also know next to nothing about P1 and P2)

no idea how specifically the Metaverse works in this setting, but All for One is using it for his evil ends and doing something nasty with fusions and people and Shadows

I tried picking an arcana for most of the characters based on the descriptions from the Megami Tensei wiki, and also tried coming up with general themes for what some of their confidants and persona abilities might look like, but a lot of it is fairly bare-bones

party’s main personas are their hero forms (so Deku, Uravity, etc.) because I’m too lazy to go find important figures from literature/mythology, and also because it’s BNHA, so, y’know, heroes; maybe their personas would be in-universe comic book characters or something

costume change in the Metaverse might be subtle (if it exists at all), like the addition of one accessory? Maybe gauntlets if there’s some kind of “reaching out” theme?

I don’t know what their weapons are, but I don’t think these kids have guns

currently I’m basing combat elements off of the ones in P5, and the general plot set-up (vague as it is) is centered around the usual “group of 8-ish teens form a team to fight Shadows and eventually save the world”; as a result, most of the adults are unaware of the Metaverse

a different set-up could have the adults more involved from the get-go as trained Shadow-fighters (and possibly instructors for those with the right potential), but most of the following ideas won’t be based on that

Party Members

Midoriya Izuku (Fool, World)

protagonist (probably the most talkative Persona protag there would be); excellent at analyzing up personas’ strengths and weaknesses

since moving to the game’s setting seems to be how most Persona games start, maybe the Midoriyas just finished moving (perhaps to go to UA, or possibly to escape/get distance from Aldera if we want some more dramatic backstory)

quirks aren’t a thing so he wasn’t bullied specifically for being quirkless, but he was definitely still bullied a lot

maybe dreams of becoming a comic creator and making stories with heroes like All Might

his story would probably involve gaining self-confidence and making good, wholesome connections with people (saving others like one of the heroes he looks up to, but also letting himself be saved, too, though in what capacity exactly I don’t know)

persona abilities: phys, wind (air smashes) and possibly almighty later?

Uraraka Ochako (Star)

first and best friend, saves Izuku from tripping and they hit it off

she either takes up aikido sometime during the story or already takes it (could be a different martial art, too, or more general self-defense)

confidant: probably has to do with her habit of shoving down her troubles to help others, and learning to let go of that mask

persona abilities: maybe nuke (I sorta just think it’d be fun and the closest to being space-related) or bless, phys (maybe moreso late-game?), team buffs; wind if Izuku doesn’t already have it covered

Iida Tenya (Justice)

class representative alongside Yaomomo, probably does his best to help Izuku settle in (though this would make more sense if the Midoriyas moved in the middle of the school year or for second year)

the Stain arc is probably a thing, possibly modified but honestly maybe not by a whole lot

confidant: likely dealing more with the aftermath of the Stain arc

persona abilities: maybe elec (mostly because it’s not covered by anyone else), single-target healing, other than that I dunno

Asui Tsuyu (Temperance)

she and Uraraka may already be friends

might be among of the first “victims” for whatever’s going on?

confidant: balancing her responsibilities taking care of her siblings and doing school and Metaverse things?

persona abilities: uhhh good question, probably healing and utility plus one of the elements

Todoroki Shouto (Fortune? Hanged Man?)

father is a rich, well-known politician or businessman, though I don’t know how exactly the All Might rivalry will tie in; perhaps an actor instead?

dunno how Midoriya gets through to Shouto this time or what specifically about but he does

I also don’t know what his persona’s name would be, since his hero name is just his name

confidant: presumably dealing with family issues, maybe with Shouto’s siblings?

persona abilities: fire and ice, maybe some strong healing late-game?

Bakugou Katsuki (Chariot)

not really sure what I’d want to do with him plot-wise but I do think he’s a jock

his and Izuku’s relationship would probably still parallel their canon one, though the lack of quirks and heroes would mean some involved worldbuilding factors would need substitutes

confidant: superiority complex issues

persona abilities: nuke and fire, obviously, and this guy is all about offense

Shinsou (Tower?)

possibly also a new kid, has a reputation as a delinquent (maybe because of one or both of his parents being involved in shady stuff?)

wants to be a detective, looks up to Aizawa; his own personal sleuthing ends up getting him in trouble and/or involved with what Midoriya and the others are up to

honestly this whole thing started because I was imagining Shinsou being in the P5 protag’s situation of moving into the attic of a coffee shop run by Aizawa, but I couldn’t really imagine Shinsou filling Joker’s role or Aizawa just running a shop, so—well, now we’re here (edit: now that I think about it more Shinsou might actually be a pretty good fit for a Persona protag specifically because he’s kind of a loner and not the most extroverted person, as the protags tend to be relatively quiet, it’d just be a fair departure from BNHA narrative roles)

regardless, Aizawa will end up taking him under his wing in some capacity, whether adoption or just mentorship; in fact, maybe Shinsou started going to UA because he got taken in by Aizawa after an incident with his family, and some of the rumors around Shinsou are that he got put with the detective because he’s a troublemaker when it was really just what worked out best

confidant: probably dealing with whatever his shady family members are involved in, if it isn’t already resolved in the main plot

persona abilities: psy, curse, utility (especially debuffs and maybe some team barriers)

…aaand I dunno who the eighth party member would be. I’d want it to be one of the girls because we need more of them, but unfortunately BNHA is a quite a boys’ club. This is also the spot that would be filled by a (likely animal) mascot, but Nedzu is my only idea and I can’t imagine him as a party member. Maybe this spot goes to Yaomomo.

Misc. notes on the rest of Class 1-A (these are pretty sparse)

Yaoyorozu gives me Empress arcana vibes

Kirishima would probably make a good Strength arcana, too, or possibly Emperor

Kaminari makes me think very much of Yosuke and thus the Magician arcana, though his element would obviously be elec

Ashido could also fit Lovers maybe, but other than that I wouldn’t know what to do for her

Jirou could give the party music? No idea what the actual effect of this would be, though if this was a game I bet it’d be a function where you could listen to all the soundtracks as you unlocked them

apologies to Tokoyami, Shouji, Kouda, Sero, Hagakure, Ojiro, and anyone else I’m forgetting but I’ve got nothin’ else right now; there’s also not enough arcanas to give one to everyone anyways

Supporting Cast

Midoriya Inko (Priestess?)

gotta be honest I don’t know for sure what to do with her but I want her to be here

maybe she gives Izuku food (bentos, perhaps), and her katsudon would be one of the best HP and/or SP items in the setting

perhaps she’d have a confidant about making her own connections with people, though she’s probably still friends with the adult Bakugous

there’s likely also the element of her coming to terms with her son doing dangerous hero things, as in canon

Yagi Toshinori (Strength)

popular comic creator who was also once a popular actor or something until a (supposed) tragic accident?

definitely a (former?) persona-user, but can’t do much in the Metaverse now either due to health difficulties or some kind of trouble with the connection

maybe Izuku first stumbles into the Metaverse during an incident involving Yagi, and Izuku does some kind of selflessly heroic act (not sure if he unlocks his persona then or not, also not sure if Bakugou’s involved), and Yagi decides to mentor him

passing down a persona seems a little weird considering personas are so closely related to the self, but maybe there’s some kind of legacy in fighting Shadows that he’s passing along?

confidant: maybe helping him adjust to no longer being the main hero, or helping him forge or rekindle his own relationships

persona abilities: can’t fight much anymore, but used to be an absolute powerhouse with phys and almighty (ha)

Aizawa (Hierophant)

I don’t think he’d be a teacher in this setting, so how about a detective, a la Dojima; doesn’t know about the Metaverse, but is trying to figure out incidents that are (unbeknownst to him) involving it

not sure if he’s a police detective or a private one; could be he’s private/consulting while Tsukauchi is a police detective or police chief

has a vested personal interest in any incidents involving kids, especially missing ones, due to past trauma (Oboro)

neighbor of the Midoriyas?

still becomes Eri’s guardian, somehow, and maybe whatever incident surrounds that is how he starts learning about the Metaverse

has an emergency foster license so he can help out kids who get caught up in bad situations, though the arrangement is usually temporary (note that I have no actual knowledge of how that kind of licensure works)

confidant: probably finding closure re: the loss of Oboro (although maybe Kurogiri can get a happier ending in this?)

persona abilities: I doubt he’d be a party member, and unless he was already in the know about or involved with the Metaverse I think he’d hate the place, but as far as fighting goes he’d be good at nullifying attacks and getting critical hits

it’d be really funny if he naturally nullified all elemental attacks by sheer virtue of “all of this is illogical and not real” but he can’t be that powerful

Eri (Death)

because I can’t imagine her as anything but the specialist magical little girl, she has some kind of connection to the Metaverse, like perhaps the ability to send people there at will (though she may not understand it herself); this, as in canon, is exploited by the yakuza and maybe caused some tragedy in her past

I don’t think she’s the way the party usually gets into the Metaverse, but she could happen to be involved in the first incident or one of the later ones

confidant: getting her used to life after rescue and helping her to not be afraid of her abilities or guilty about the past

Nedzu (Magician/Councillor?)

token animal mascot character???

definitely a Metaverse creature of some kind, but I’m tempted to have him still somehow be the principal of UA (UA would have to be a very strange school, though, which could be part of the plot)

maybe he’s a sort of Velvet Room attendant, though not limited to staying in the Velvet Room; I’d feel weird having him replace Igor completely, but he’s gotta have some behind-the-scenes knowledge and reasons to meddle/instruct, and I think he and Igor could have an interesting dynamic

Hatsume Mei (???)

weapons and armor creator

either she loves to makes model items (maybe as theater/film props?) or she’s just straight-up engineering fully functional weapons and armors to other children her age

Yamada Hizashi (Sun)

radio show host, of course!

if this was a game, some important events would be mentioned on his show, much like some things were talked about on televisions in P4 and P5

could still be an English teacher who thrives on MC’ing the pep rallies, but it’d feel a bit weird to have him be a teacher and not Aizawa, so he might be a full-time show host and entertainer

Kayama Nemuri (Lovers? Moon? Devil?)

I’m really not sure what to do with her, but maybe she’s a fairly famous model/actor/some other kind of entertainer who also does investigative work? Like a spy/informant for certain circles?? Modeling/acting/whatever would probably be enough on its own, though

another possibility is that she’s a perfume-seller, and these perfumes end up doubling as buff/debuff items in the Metaverse

Thirteen (???)

the science teacher maybe??

Snipe (???)

if this setting used fake guns like P5, Snipe would totally be the supplier, but I just can’t imagine Izuku with a gun

Villains

League of Villains

addressing them collectively because I don’t really wanna bother fleshing out the individual things

these would be the guys whose Shadows are the bosses

maybe a theme of this story would be reaching out to others, and so defeating the Shadows would open up opportunities to help them? Kind of like changing hearts in P5 but with more actual redemption, even if they still need to do time for whatever they’ve done

might not be just their Shadows that need to be fought, though; something is strange…

okay so @starlightvoidtwo mentioned the idea of them being Metaverse assassins like the Strega group from P3 (or Akechi from P5) and that seems like a perfect role for them

All for One

made his own Velvet Room and is fusing people with Shadows (Kurogiri), or somehow manipulating Metaverse powers (rest of the LoV), possibly to the point of (or at least aiming for) some real-world crossover?

as with canon, was thought to be defeated by All Might

I don’t know what his true nature is, if he started off human or was formed by the Metaverse

Okay, I think that’s pretty much everything I’ve got at the moment. Might edit later if I think of new stuff (or remember things I’d forgotten), but I really need to go to bed. I don’t think I’m going to do anything in particular with this crossover, but if anyone has related ideas I would love to hear them!

[chipped-chimera]

So, I'm a Lesbian I guess.

So uh, life update. I came out to my Mum, so I figured I'd do so here too.

I've done a bunch of self reflection, healing. I reached out to my ex and we had a good conversation and I think that just made everything even clearer for me.

So yeah, this is me saying I'm not bisexual. I'm lesbian. And I probably always was.

More context below the cut if you want it (it's long). But anyway, here's to finally feeling like I'm finding the real 'me' in all this rubble.

❤️🧡🤍💖💜

I thought I was bisexual for ages. The fact I even got to think that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for my ex, who identified that way and I felt in a safe enough environment to express it. In the past two months I went through some self reflection, and talked to my ex for the first time in 2 years. It was good, and it's too complicated to explain easily but at least on my end I was getting a double dosage of the comphet juice between just regular expectations and the undiagnosed autism (also jesus christ, being a teenager in 2005-2010 that environment was just fucked up for anyone who might be trying to come to terms with not being straight). Kids in my school were more accepting, but also in the same breath using 'Gay' as an insult).

We were both undiagnosed neurodiverse people and maybe it was just the first time we'd encountered someone who just actually understood for once. Who saw who we were and were okay with that. The 10 year relationship, put in that context makes a lot of sense. So I don't blame him for how it ended. If anything I thanked him for breaking it off, because I was in such a goddamn state after being used by the Australian government (see Robodebt) there was no way in hell I had the mental tools or even brain space to realise anything about myself because I was too busy just trying to fucking survive. I would have lived and died in that relationship simply because at least it was safe, and stable. But it wasn't genuine.

Past two years since that relationship ended were fucking rough. For most of this year I kind of just turned into myself I guess, but I was letting it happen because after finding out about the high comorbidity of chronic health conditions with Autism and how it's likely related to long-term compound stress from masking for so long, I really asked myself when was the last time I just let myself 'rest'? Didn't do anything I didn't want to do or feel compelled to do because of some social contract or guilt?

I couldn't come up with an answer.

So I rested. And I think that's basically given me the strength now to finally 'wake up'. I dunno. That's how it feels. I only recently noticed my thoughts about women were structurally very different than the ones about men (and yeah it's goddamn fuckin' embarassing to say but uh thanks Larian specifically for giving me a female love interest tailored to my exact preference which FINALLY connected some dusty neuron in the back of my head or something. It was Karlach. MY GODDAMN GAY AWAKENING WAS KARLACH, ffs) and the more I examined it, the more everything became clear. I was hesitant to remove the bi label from myself, wondering if this was just a really extreme 'bi-cycle' swing but the more and more I thought about it, went through memories in my life, how I could never see myself with someone else it was always characters together and really it was the relationship and intimacy between them, regardless of gender that I was appreciating.

I thought I was grey ace but after going 'huh these thoughts are kind of different' and realising that yeah, I could imagine myself with a woman - it wasn't some weird other shit I'd told myself like it was just visceral self hatred or something, placing myself with a guy it was literally I did not want to be with a guy - it became obvious. So fucking, embarrassingly obvious.

I'm not sure where things will go from here. I am incredibly socially isolated in real life. My best friend is my Mum. I don't have a social circle at all outside of online spaces. I'm 30 and that's a fucking weird age to be thrown out into the world essentially experiencing goddamn delayed idk mental puberty because you suppressed it that hard. I haven't used a dating app in my LIFE. I'm still kind of scared of being hurt by others and I'm aware it's not entirely logical, but I just feel fragile. I'm also still picking up the pieces of my life.

I've confirmed a C-PTSD diagnosis with my psychologist, which explains why all the CBT tools I'd learned over the years just stopped working (CBT doesn't always gel well with PTSD or Autism) so that's probably going to inform treatment going forward. My intense fatigue issues are probably caused by having to carry all this fucking trauma and suppression of myself. As I said to my Mum, it's like I'm just 'Tired from being alive' at this point. I'm really, really fucking hoping it's not Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME. The new medication I'm on seems to be keeping me going past the 4hr mark though, so we might be onto the right medication mix (I do not appreciate the 7:30pm crash, like clockwork, where instead of feeling unfocused and tired like before I now feel jacked up as hell like I'm waiting for someone to punch me however :V)

I don't know where this is going. Or where I'm going. All I know is 'I'm going'. When the breakup first happened, when I hauled myself out of the Mental Health ward and back to my parents home where I had to figure out what the fuck to do after any kind of certainty of my future had been completely obliterated - I saw a lot of snakes. I'm kind of vaugely pagan, if I'm honest. I don't know how to put it. I am very scientific but I also don't think we know all the answers.

My ancestors were likely heavily Celtic, likely some Viking and Pictish influence as both family lines go back to Scotland and Ireland. I know through my reading that natural signs were important to them, so I start noticing when I see multiple occurrences, especially in odd places (I'll be real, I just remembered earlier in this relationship when I was more into pagan shit I saw a lot of Moths. Yeah. Yeah I feel like smashing my face into my desk about that. No I never figured it out then EITHER). I know quite a few things about snakes. Snakes are an animal that is both used as a symbol for medicine, but also classed as 'evil', especially in the modern christian context.

They are considered symbols of rejuvenation, of immortality, much like the Phoenix, they are constantly reborn through the shedding of their skin. Shedding is critical to a snake, because if it does not shed it's skin, it will die. This is a legitimate concern for zookeepers with snakes that have scars - they often struggle to shed completely, and they have to soak the snake's skin in water so they can cast off the skin.

So it's shed or die.

I have struggled to let go of things. Of everything that was done to me, but I knew it had to be let go. And today I have shed a lot of that shit. I am crying on and off but this is probably the first time it's easy. It's not physically painful, like knives in my throat, or something I have to shove down and keep contained for fear of being rejected. It's happy crying.

Because that skin being shed - it wasn't mine either. I needed rest, I needed to soak in that goddamn water dish so I could get through all the scar tissue. So it's probably the strongest image I have in my mind of everything. Of who I am. My entire life.

If you're going through difficult shit in life, all I can say is - you're strong. You're strong as fuck. Strength isn't being able to get into a physical fight, or being super confident around people - it's enduring life and the chaos thrown at you. It's being able to be broken down and rebuild, just like the snake casts off skin for their new selves. You will endure things and be stronger for it, than those who have lived all their lives without any pain whatsoever.

But it could be better, I know. It doesn't justify the pain. But please listen to yourself. Listen to your body. If you need to be selfish? Be fucking selfish! Don't want to do that thing? Don't do it! If you know it is costing you, if it is adding to that scar tissue - stop. Take the time you need to reset, to regain your breath. Ask yourself who you are doing this for. Ask what skin you are wearing and whether that is something you want to keep. Shed it. Let go.

It will hurt, but this is just the beginning. Change feels like a broken bone. But it will heal.

[ichorblossoms]

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK QUESTION ABOUT OCS IN FACT 🤲 how was meeting yarrow for the first time like for grimm? and reverse? i love them and how tender they grow together so dearly

HELLO THANK YOU FOR THE ASK AND THANK YOU IN GENERAL EHEHEHEEEE they are eating at my brain all the time <3

OKAY so a vague timeline of honeybee's three main parts is here BUT there is a (not actually secret) part 0 that is how they first meet. i want to include it in the story but i'm concerned telling a story like this

might get a little confusing for people so. we shall see

i DO have my reasons for wanting to tell it this way and also p0 is a single scene. but also i might combine it with p1 idk. it's a mess, i'm a mess

anyways at this point grimm is ~18 and still pretty freshly out of their whole "i was a bodyguard/scout for the people who destroyed everything i loved for several years because i fell in love [was manipulated by] the family's young heiress when i was vulnerable and also a child"* ordeal and now making a living for themself being an outlaw. it travels from town to town and takes on odd jobs, mostly recon stuff because it's very good at sneaking around. also having a robot dog designed to jam signals and camera feeds helps

*this is A Lot. i know it sounds edgy as fuck, but a consistent source of conflict in this universe is how people in power (those with a lot of money in this case) consistently fuck over everyone else and each other for the sake of more power/a perceived advantage/money and grimm is a victim of that to a more extreme degree than most

grimm takes a job that involves getting some sort of intel out of the offices of a medical clinic and gets caught halfway through. they can fight too, so they do get out, but not before sustaining a pretty bad injury to their jaw (originally this was going to be a gunshot, but after doing research i realize that hm sustaining a gunshot wound to the jaw usually requires reconstructive surgery that grimm would not have access to, so i think they were hit with something instead). on their way sneak-stumbling out, they happen across one of the interns in the stairwell, who sees them injured and bleeding and goes "stay right there i'll get something to help you!" because shit, why else are they working at a clinic if they aren't going to help people who are hurt

normally grimm wouldn't stay, fuck that, but it's dazed and possibly concussed, so it does. yarrow (who is about ~19) comes back with some bandages and painkillers, quickly does a quick patch job, and sends grimm off with a "i'm sorry this is all i can do" and grimm gets the fuck out of there

now yarrow isn't stupid, he knew that grimm wasn't supposed to be there, but if he can help, he will help, especially if someone's in pain. grimm wasn't anyone meaningful to them at that point, and i think that whole ordeal is something that occasionally crosses their mind in the next ~3 years before they cross paths again, but there weren't any severe consequences to their actions (if any, still dunno if they got caught) nor was their life really under threat, so it wasn't any more shocking than someone coming in to the clinic with a severe injury

ON the flip side though, grimm cannot stop thinking about this. it has encountered so little kindness in the previous ~6 years of its life that a total stranger helping them out is inconceivable. now, grimm will save its own hide first and foremost, so it doesn't stick around, but this whole incident leaves it with a sense of being indebted to yarrow, whose name they don't even know at that point. nothing it would go out of its way to act upon, but this "i owe my life to that stranger" thing it marvels at from time to time.

so, when the two cross paths ~3 years later in a different clinic in a different city, grimm feels compelled to at least get yarrow out of there before shit goes down; they've graduated to working riskier jobs with teams of outlaws instead of alone, so it's very much a "you saved my life, i'll save yours back and get you out of here and we can part ways for good" situation. or, that's what grimm tells itself :)

bonus pt0 grimm and yarrow designs hehe