#i drew these back in december 2023

[glitter-alienz]

I keep rambling about the oop turtles so here they are (Baxter, Usagi and Mondo are there too)

[golzybladedee]

Gztale (2023)

This was drawn back in December 2023, so I likely to share it here on tumblr since I have made the account.

FYI, I drew this out of nostalgia, doesn't mean I would continue to bring it back where the comic stopped. I have given the ownership of this AU to @nyriatamare , as I move on to my current original project.

This work as a thank you to those anyone who supported me throughout that point in time.

[lovelyyy-luna]

the hand that feeds

pairing: (mizu x fem!reader)

fandom: blue eye samurai

pronouns: she/her

type: smut

warning: dom!mizu and bratty!reader. This is pure filth and I don’t apologize for that. Spanking, choking, object penetration there’s probably more but you get the gist

a/n: juban is the underslip when wearing a kimono. haori is the outer robe of the men’s outfit.

aa/n: tagging @firelillys and @bxllamiizu both of y’all inspired me to write this. also tagging @angelltheninth

word count: 2019

date: december 20, 2023

masterlist

She dragged you away deep into the forest.

She was angry. You’ve seen her mad before but this time she was pissed.

“I told you how many times to stop complaining? And what do you do? You keep fucking complaining.”

She was tugging on your arm, you slightly liked the pain, and you hoped there was going to be a bruise around your wrist when she was done with you.

You finally stopped in a clearing

“So what do you have to say for yourself?” She slightly pushed you away.

You stumbled a bit but caught yourself.

“Hm?”

“I’m. Cold.” You say sternly. All this started because you kept complaining about the temperature.

“You knew this when you tagged along.”

“I didn’t know it’d be this fucking cold.” You mutter to yourself.

Swiftly she drew her blade and cut the belt that held your kimono together. Your juban was what was exposed. Just that thin slip of fabric was what kept you from becoming frostbitten.

She put the blade back into the holster, “How cold are you now?”

“Freezing,” you said above a whisper, holding yourself for some warmth.

“Would you like to be warmed up?” She stepped close to you, you could feel her breath on your face like a slight blanket on your cheeks.

You nod at her question.

She removes the kimono off your shoulders and it falls to the ground. Now just in your juban, she could truly see how cold you were, your nipples were peaked and that sight of you could make her go down on her knees but she wasn’t in a very giving mood at the moment.

Harshly she went between your thighs and her finger ever so lightly went between your slick.

“Hmm, no undergarments? No wonder you’re fucking cold. Or maybe, this was your plan the whole time. To piss me off and get me to fuck you.”

You stand there in the cold of the forest and nod. It was pathetic really but she was enjoying every second of it.

She looked down at you and her piercing blue eyes had a tinge of red in them.

“On your knees, dove.”

‘Dove’, that was her nickname for you, and every time she said it it made you weak in the knees.

You slowly sank to the ground kneeling on your kimono that was the barrier between the snowy ground and your skin.

You looked up at her and she towered over you.

“Now turn around.”

You obeyed every order and shuffled on the ground to have your back facing her.

She then kneeled behind you pressing her chest against your back. That touch alone made you moan and your head fell back into the crook of her neck.

Her hands then travel up your juban and tug at the string exposing you completely. Then her fingers trail up your stomach to your breasts slowly rubbing your nipples between her fingers.

Soft moans fall from your lips.

“Oh is my little dove enjoying this?” She cooed at you.

You nod whimpering at her touch.

“Well, I don’t want you to enjoy it.” Her voice was stern and gritty.

The hand that was touching you quickly went up to your throat gripping tightly and caught you off guard.

She then drew her blade again holding the blade closely to the two of you, your breath was staggered and was fogging up the metal weapon.

With a clean swipe the tree that was in front of you was soon just a stump.

“Bend over, dove.”

You nod and bend over on the freshly chopped stump. The white fabric of your robe rose as you bent over.

You were excited and nervous about what Mizu had planned for you.

Lost in your thoughts were broken from the harsh stinging from her hand landing on your ass.

You yelp at the sensation and shoot a look back at her.

She glared at you, “Eyes forward dove.”

You look back forward and another blow comes down on the same place. Only two smacks in and you already couldn’t handle it.

“Do you know how many times you complained about the cold?”

You shake your head.

“Thirteen times in ten minutes. So that means I’m going to do the same to you and you’re not going to say a word.”

You nod slowly.

Another smack landed on the opposite cheek giving the other side a break but it was short-lived when she smacked you hard again.

You looked behind you wanted to see the damage she caused so far and you knew by the end of this you were going to have welts.

She made you count, on the verge of tears with each blow. It was painful but you wanted this. You knew that with each smack it was full of love.

She was finally done and then felt her lips trailing down your back. The fabric of your robe was so thin that it felt like there was nothing between the two of you. Her hands then caressed your puffed abused cheeks.

Her kiss then went up to your neck and then to your ears, “I still don’t think you’ve learned your lesson.”

You whimper at her words, your hand slowly goes in search of hers. Once you find it you bring her hand up to your lips slowly kissing her fingers putting them into your mouth sucking on them.

She chuckles at your actions, “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

You slowly turn to look at her, “I was um…”

“Oh did you think you were going to be fucked by my fingers?” Her chuckle was deep at mocking, “Oh my little dove do you think you even deserve my fingers?”

You look at her confused, then your eyes follow down to her other hand and it lays on the handle of her sword. You gulp and you look back up at her and she is grinning.

You bit your lip at just the thought of her using the handle on you and you instantly got wet.

“Turn back around,” she whispered.

You do as you are told and once shuffling around you bend over the stump, but it was not to her standards. She gripped your hips and pushed you into the stump. Your pelvic bone was on the outer edge of the stump and she pushed you hard into it giving you small cuts against the wood.

You slowly creep your head to look at her, she unsheathed her sword, stuck the blade between her slightly spread legs, and looked down at the handle and a lob of her spit dangled down on the bound leather.

Her hand then rubbed the spit in and he started to inch it towards your core spreading your lips slowly.

The sensation and the thought of what was happening and what was going to happen was reeling in your head.

The handle itself was 10 inches. You haven’t had anything like that in you for a while and were nervous about how you were going to handle it.

With the handle getting enough of your slick she parted your lips and put the tip in.

You hissed at the feeling, it may have been lubed enough but the soft leather with its ridges was a whole new sensation.

She slowly sunk it in you, not wanting to hurt you or make you uncomfortable but enough to make you feel good.

You then feel yourself hitting her fingers which were a makeshift stopper for you. You were slightly disappointed, you wanted more to go in. You started to wriggle but she stopped you.

Her free hand firmly gripped your hip, “Oh now dove, you aren’t supposed to be enjoying this. I could go rough with you…”

Your eyes lit up hoping that she would.

“But I know you like it rough. So for your punishment, I’m going to go slow. Painfully slow.”

You pout.

“Now no pouting. You’re going to be grateful for whatever I give you, yeah? Fucking grateful.” She pulls your hair at the last sentence causing you to moan.

She then slides it in and out of you slowly, moving her hips with the same motion. She pictures that she is fucking you. Every stroke the handle does in you she imagines that it's her doing that to you.

While she’s in her head you're aching for more so you snake your hand down to your clit rubbing your bundle of nerves.

Thinking about her roughly going at you got you going faster and Mizu noticed your change of breath and that caught her attention.

You were close. So close, until she snatched your hand away and pinned it behind your back.

“Did I tell you you can fucking touch yourself, my little dove?” She seethed.

You lost your hand placement when she pinned you, your upper body was now fully on the stump.

“Hm?” She was waiting for an answer.

“N-no, I'm-I’m sorry Mizu.”

“I don’t believe you. But I don’t think that matters that much at the moment, since you want it rough that’s exactly what I’m going to give you. Gonna have you begging me to stop and I not going to because you did ask for permission and were being a fucking brat.”

Her words made you wet and she felt it when she leaned back from being pressed against you and saw you were practically soaking the handle.

“Fucking pathetic.” She said.

Her hand went down to the base of the blade and steadied herself while continuing to hold on to your pinned arm.

Without wanting she began to violently thrust into you causing you to swing your other around wanting some sort of touch from her.

She was too busy and out of arms to swat your other hand away.

You were a mumbling mess, drool came from your mouth smearing on your cheek and the flat wood surface.

“M-Mizu-u-u,” you cry to her.

“Yes, my little dove?”

You forgot what you were going to say, she was fucking you dumb.

She laughed, “Oh my little dove having a good time?”

You nod, gripping her sleeve from behind.

You were close to your orgasm and she could tell.

You were taking the handle very well practically swallowing it whole and she kept hitting your sweet spot.

“Fu-u-uck Mizu,” tears were streaming down your cheeks, freezing almost when they hit the winter air.

With one more thrust, she holds it in you and you squirt all over the handle and her hand.

You were breathing heavily, legs shaking and she slowly took the handle out, wiped it off, and placed it back in her holster.

You couldn’t move. You were still bent over the stump.

“Dove? Did I work you too hard?”

She bent down near your face wiping your matted hair off your face, petting the tears away.

I shake my head smiling slightly at her.

“It was perfect.” You whisper, “I just can’t get up.”

She chuckles slightly. “Let me help you.”

She picks you up and then seats you down on the stump. You hissed at the pain you had forgotten from your ass but pulled through as she picked up your soaked from the snow kimono.

She noticed you shaking from the cold. She takes off her haori and places it on you.

You look up at her, mouthing a thank you.

“I'll tell you what, once we get to the next town I'll buy you a new kimono.” She smiles down at you.

You smile back holding my hand up from her to help me stand, “A pretty one?”

You lean on her and we both walk back to where our cart was, “Yes my dove. The prettiest one,” she chuckles

You smile giddy and then look down at my hands and groan, “I got splinters in my hand! God this is gonna take forever to get out!”

She rolled her eyes smiling as she dragged you back over to the clearing.

On to round two before you annoy her more.

♡please like comment and/or reblog♡

wanna be tagged? (X)

[myebi]

And another year in the mix!! I originally wasn’t planning on posting these but frankly, I felt bad breaking my own tradition. My tumblr & instagram feeds are like my album, I’d feel sad not getting to look back on my review and my thoughts a year or more down the line. 2023 was busy and frankly a nice year in retrospect, but I don’t know if it’s me not having pushed myself enough or the Covid effect still making me feel like everything is going by super fast, but man did it go fast - and December’s already here and I don’t exactly know what to do with myself haha. I’m definitely a lot happier than I was in 2022 despite new complexities though, I feel full of resolve and drive and that is such a nice feeling.

Art wise I feel like my art is on its way to improvement, like it’s liberating itself somehow. I’m so ready to test things out and experiment and just lean into making it more expressive, more dynamic, more heartfelt in general. I’ve never loved my characters as much as I do now and I’ve found true friends in them (genuinely, these little guys won’t ever leave me, ain’t that a comforting thought) - and of course, irl, I’m so happy to have found such reliable and fun friends to cherish to navigate through the years together 🫶

I have cool things happening in 2024 so I’m just so excited for this new breath of fresh air. Fire!! Motivation!! 🔥

To all of you who follow my work and my journey even if it’s from far away, who make my art exist through you, thank you. Artists or not, you’re valued and precious and I’m so happy that you’re here. I hope that my account remains somewhere nice and that the silly shapes in my art keep making you think “Those tangents right there look awkward as hell but hey, it’s weird ass Mye Bi” afjshhfhd

I drew something fun for tomorrow, see you then for that post 💛 In the meantime, happy holidays!! May you and your family keep hope and health close, and my thoughts are with Palestine and Ukraine.

[nebulousbrainsoup]

Silk & Spice [Teaser]

SUMMARY: You're here to forget your worries, and who better to help you than not just one but two beautiful men? Here's hoping you haven't bit off more than you can chew. PAIRING: incubi!jihan x fem!reader GENRE: smut (none this teaser), suggestive AU/TROPE: demon au WORD COUNT: 548 this teaser WARNINGS: party setting, evil twins evil twinning RATING: mature A/N: happy birthday to shua! i'd love to be posting the full version of this today, but my winter collabs have taken over my life. so here's a little teaser from the standalone prequel to the rest of the demonteen universe featured in my halloween mini collab with @justhere4kpop. huge shout out to @hobeemin for the banner and dividers <3 i am in love with them masterlist | join my taglist | buy me a coffee?

Your overly carefree attitude was what drew Joshua toward you in the first place, a hint of something sour lacing your otherwise pleasant scent. It was a front, clearly; one he fully intended to break through. He flashed a smirk over his shoulder as he dropped Jeonghan’s hand and carefully sidled up next to you, his brother following suit on your other side. Your eyes blinked open as your arm brushed against the elder, startling and stumbling back into Joshua’s chest. He reached a careful hand out to steady you, meeting your wide, doe-eyed stare with a soft smile.

“I’m so sorry, we didn’t mean to startle you,” he called over the music, holding his hands up in a peaceful gesture once you were steady. “You just looked like you were having so much fun, we were hoping we could join you.”

Your eyes narrowed warily, and Jeonghan flashed a smirk from over your shoulder, cocking an eyebrow at him in challenge. The look was gone quickly as you turned, letting your eyes drag over him before you returned it to Joshua, giving him the same treatment. On any normal night, you’d scoff and turn them away without a second thought. With your recent rejection fresh in your mind, though, the prospect of a night spent with one or both of the gorgeous men beside you was a very appealing one. Their presence was intoxicating already, and you felt yourself leaning subconsciously into them. Slowly, the tension in your body eased, a smirk spreading over your features.

“I don’t see why not.”

Joshua grinned, taking half a step closer to you as he finally let his gaze rake over your body. “Fantastic,” he practically purred, a glint of something mischievous in his eyes. “I’m Joshua, by the way.”

Before you could return his greeting, you were cut off, his friend’s arms settling loosely on your hips as he settled behind you. “Jeonghan,” he muttered, his breath sending a shudder down your spine. 

“Y/N,” you breathed, leaning back into him. “I’m Y/N. I take it you two are a package deal?”

They both chuckled to themselves as Joshua slotted himself in front of you, taking your hands and settling them on his shoulders. “You don’t seem too bothered by that.”

You hummed, shaking your head as you let yourself melt between the pair, the warmth of their bodies wrapping around you to dull the noise of the party. “Bothered? No. Curious, yes,” you hummed, reaching up to card a hand into Joshua’s hair. “Why do you need little ol’ me when you’ve got each other?” 

To your surprise, the quieter man behind you barked a laugh, his grip tightening on your hips. “You misunderstand, lovely. We’re not interested in one another. We just happen to have similar tastes.” You grinned, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. The darkness in his gaze sent a shudder down your spine. “And a penchant for competition.”

Breath catching in your throat, you turned your startled gaze back to the man in front of you. He wore a similar expression to his friend as he pressed further into your space, sandwiching you between them. “What do you say, darling? Care to find out who can please you better?”

© December 2023 nebulousbrainsoup | all rights reserved. reposting and translating of author’s work is prohibited.

[imaginespazzi]

Part 2: If Only You'd Been Here

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you (but ain't nobody love you like I do)

(In which a sadistic writer tortures her beloved ship a fair amount and maybe her readers too)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and maybe Fluff if you squint

Words: 6.5K (someone please be proud that it is in fact shorter 🙈)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good morning my lovelies <3 Just a couple of things I changed that you should know before you read. If you follow WCBB, you know UCLA didn't win the Pac-12 tournament in 2023 but in this universe they did. You also probably know they lost in the NCAA tournament last year to SC in the Greenville region but in this universe, for plot purposes, they're gonna be in the Seattle region. I kept their seeding and who they were playing vague because it was gonna get too complicated to figure out. Also if you saw my list of part titles a while ago, no you didn't lol. As always, feel free to know what you liked, what you didn't, and anything you'd like to see in future parts. And as you're reading, let's just remember y'all love me and everything I do is for the plot. Happy reading and have a wonderful week lovelies!

December 2022

The distinctly “car” smell of her car is starting to make Paige more than a little nauseous. Going by the way Drew is pouting in the passenger seat, he’s also clearly over it. They’ve been driving in circles for what feels like hours. At first, still enamoured with being allowed to sit in the front, her little brother had gone along with her ridiculousness. Now, as they approach maybe the 12th or so lap around the neighbourhood, he seems less than thrilled. 

“Alright let me out and you keep driving,” Drew says, fiddling agitatedly with his seatbelt, “I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Well hold it in,” Paige retorts unhelpfully as they re-round the block. She keeps her eyes focused on the road, ignoring the glare her brother sends her away. He takes in a dramatic breath and leans back onto his seat. She grips the steering wheel tighter as they pass the house again, still not brave enough to pull into the driveaway of a place she’d once considered just as much a home as her own. 

Drew lets out another groan, “I shoulda just stayed home.”

“Well you didn’t-” Paige’s reply is cut off by the sound of a phone call reverberating around the car. The CallerID reads “Azzi (DON’T YOU DARE IGNORE)”, a name the younger girl had plugged in herself with a warning look the day Paige had left LA. Chewing whatever dry skin is still left on her bitten-to-death lips, Paige clicks accept on the call. 

“What number lap is this?” comes Azzi’s exasperated voice and Paige can’t help the smile that creeps onto her face. 

“Oh you know my car’s feeling the need to exercise today,” Paige hums back, suddenly feeling a lot lighter than she had just a couple of seconds ago. Sometimes, she’s not sure how she managed to go a year with this constant heavy weight pressing down on her ribs, and no Azzi to slowly ease her out from under it. 

“Azziiiiii,” Drew whines dramatically, “please come save me. I’m gonna die in this car.”

Affronted, Paige splutters, “nobody forced you to come.”

“You begged me to come,” her young brother quips back and it elicits a laugh from the girl on the other end of the line. 

“I did-”

“Paige,” Azzi cuts her off, “just come inside okay? You’re wasting gas for nothing.”

“I- it’s just-,” Paige’s hands tighten even more around the wheel, as she stops on the sidewalk, switching on her turn signal, but still not entering the driveway. She leans her head against the wheel, overwhelmed by emotions she can’t quite name. Drew places a comforting hand on her back and she sends him a reassuring smile, trying to shield her younger brother from the havoc in her brain. 

“Hey,” Azzi’s voice floats through the fog, “it’s just me okay? Me and you and us. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

It’s like a child being soothed with their favourite binkie, that’s what Azzi’s promise feels like to Paige. She finally turns into the driveaway, and both Drew and Azzi cheer in tandem. The knot in her chest loosens just a little bit at that because the large crowds that scream for her make her feel adored, but this, her own personal cheer squad for her littlest of achievements, well it makes her feel loved. 

“Freedom,” Drew yells as he practically flings himself out of Paige’s barely parked car. She rolls her eyes fondly at her mini me as he dramatically pretends to kiss the ground. It’s a small distraction from the memories that are swirling like a tornado in her mind. Minnesota is home, it’ll always be home but this place, this had been her safe haven, something she could hold onto at a time where everything else was slipping out of her hands. And then, like a fool, she’d let go of it. 

The door opens even before they’ve made it halfway to the door and Azzi’s brothers run out into the front yard. Jon pretends to take pictures and José practically falls to his knees as they swarm around the blonde. 

“Paige, Paige, can we get a picture or an autograph please,” they yell teasingly, “please Miss Bueckers we’re your biggest fans.”

“Move over boys,” Tim Fudd’s booming voice hollers, as he swats his children away, “her biggest fan is actually me eh Paige?”

The girl in question nods solemnly, her smile stretching the full length of her face, and both Jon and José let out a groan as their father beams at Paige. And then Katie’s there, not a hint of anything but pure happiness on her face as she wraps the younger girl into a hug. Paige melts into the embrace, trying her hardest not to burst into tears. Because all she can think about is the hundreds of calls and texts from Azzi that she’d left unanswered, all she can think of is Azzi's devastated face as she’d told Paige about just how hard she’d tried and that wretched ache of i don’t deserve this i broke your daughters heart wraps itself around Paige’s  heart. 

Over Katie’s shoulder, Paige watches as Azzi finally walks out into the law, her cheeks immediately turning red from the cold. The younger girl winks at Paige with a radiant smile, before giving all her attention to Drew who almost trips as he excitedly launches himself into Azzi, tiny hands wrapping around her waist. Paige watches, still buried in the warmth of Katie’s arms, as Drew animatedly tells Azzi all the stories he possibly can and Azzi nods along emphatically as if she’s being told the most important facts of her life. And Paige takes a snapshot of it to add to her ever growing collection of moments i just knew. 

***

January 2023

“Call her.”

Paige doesn’t bother replying, burying her face further into her tear-soaked pillow. Maybe if she ignores her teammate, Caroline will get the message and go away. The earth-shattering pain that she’d subdued for the last couple of months had finally reared its ugly head. And that too at the worst time possible, when her team needed to be a source of strength and with cameras catching the teardrops falling as she mourned the loss of not being able to play in the epic UConn-Tennessee rivalry. She’d done so well at holding it in, breaking apart only a couple of times, sometimes alone and sometimes with Azzi on the other end of the line. Until tonight, when the bright lights and roaring crowd had reignited the itch to just fucking play ball. 

“Paige,” Caroline says again, “stop being stubborn and call her.”

“She has a game tomorrow, she doesn’t need my dramatic ass worrying her right now,” Paige replies, getting into a sitting position when she realises the other girl isn’t about to just let this go. 

“You’re eventually going to call her. The two of you haven’t gone one day without talking to each other since this summer,” Caroline gives her a look, a hint of a smirk play on her face when it tints Paige’s cheeks pink, “seriously, just call her.”

It’s not that Paige doesn’t want to. She’d scrolled through her contacts and stopped at Azzi’s one too many time’s tonight. And each time, just as her fingers had hovered over the green call button, she’d felt guilt claw at her neck. Since she’d shown up in LA, Azzi had shown up for Paige every step of the way, checking in regularly, listening to Paige vent her anger at the world and whispering words of comfort that only sounded true when they came from Azzi’s mouth. Sometimes, if she tries really hard, Paige can feel the ghost of Azzi’s arms wrapping themselves around her shoulders, just as they had that one night in LA when Azzi had held her, so delicately as if she was made of porcelain, through the worst of her breakdowns. 

“She needs to focus on her game,” Paige says after a moment. 

Caroline sighs, mind wandering to the countless texts on her phone from Azzi begging her to take care of Paige and to let her know when the blonde wasn’t doing okay, “I know but she’d want you to call her if she knew. You need her.”

“And where was I when she needed me?” it’s the word need that triggers it, the quick snap because it’s all Paige has been able to think about lately. 

Without basketball, she’d had far too much time on her hands and she’d ended up going down a spiral of watching Azzi’s games from her freshman year, something she’d religiously avoided doing when they had happened live. At first, it had just been this immense feeling of pride, seeing her best friend be the college basketball phenomenon Paige had always known she would be. She’d shoved away the envy of it was supposed to be us that immersed her seeing the way the Bruins celebrated their new star player, and just let herself be happy in her best friend’s happiness. 

And then something changed around at the beginning of January 2022. It had only lasted a couple of games, but Azzi had hit a wall. Threes were short, cuts were made at the wrong time and she kept on getting lost on defence in a way that was very unlike her. And all Paige could focus on, eyes glued to the screen, was how completely and utterly exhausted Azzi looked during that stretch, despite the fact that she’d just come back from winter break. The smile had vanished off her face, replaced by stress lines Paige wished she could go back in time and erase. 

It wasn’t until she’d binged through all the games, cheering silently as Azzi slowly returned to form, that the realisation had hit Paige. She’d been slapped with the memory of a store decorated brightly for Christmas and a familiar voice calling her name, as she’d purposely walked the other way, pretending she hadn’t heard and the more than deserved i’m done trying text that had followed right after. For a year, perhaps longer, Paige had convinced herself that she was the only one who had lost something, she was the only one who had a right to hurt, to break. And still, she thinks she’d take all of that pain again a thousand times, if it means she could erase the fact that in all of her self-pity, she’d broken Azzi too.

“Where was I when she needed me?” she repeats again to Caroline, as the brunette stares at her in confusion, “the answer to that Carol, is that I was anywhere but with her.”

Caroline’s eyes soften in realisation as she takes a cautious step towards Paige, “oh P don’t do this to yourself.”

“I want to call her,” Paige confesses in a whisper, tears brimming in her eyes, “it’s the only thing I’ve wanted to do all day and maybe- maybe I should have but I’m just- I’ve been so unfair to her.”

“You were hurt Paige.”

“I know- I know that. But so was she. You don’t- god Carol- you don’t even know the things I said to her before she left for LA. And she’s still here,” the first tears fall from her blue eyes, and then the next and the next until there’s a steady waterfall streaming down her face, “you know I almost didn’t let her in when she first came over this summer?”

Caroline doesn’t say anything, choosing instead to come sit next to Paige and wrap her arms around the point guard. 

“I didn’t answer her calls or her texts for a year and still, still she’s picked up every call, replied to every text I’ve sent her since summer. I know- I know I need her and she’s going to be there of course she is. But when she needed me, where was I?” Paige drops her face into her hands, “I just- I don’t deserve her.”

There’s a moment of silence as Caroline rubs Paige’s back and lets the older girl wallow in her guilt. And then she reaches for Paige’s phone on the nightstand, ignoring the little grunt of protest. When the screen lights up, there’s already a notification of new messages from Azzi and Caroline can’t help but smile. 

“I think,” she begins softly, “Azzi’s a smart girl so maybe give that tiny little brain of yours a little bit of rest and let her decide who deserves her,” she hands Paige her phone “let her be there for you. I think maybe she needs that too.”

Caroline gives Paige’s shoulders a little squeeze before heading out the doors, giving the older girl a moment of privacy. Paige sighs, getting herself comfortable against her pillows, and rubbing away her tears, before finally giving in and pressing the facetime call button. 

“Do you want a distraction or do you want to talk about it?” Azzi says as soon as she picks up and Paige can see the concern etched all over her face.

“Or maybe I’m perfectly fine?”

“Ah we’re playing the pretend game tonight. Should have cleared your throat for a second longer maybe Miss Perfectly Fine, your eyes are red as fuck and you sound like a dying cat.” 

“Wow, that was rude. Maybe I’m sick?” 

“With what? The “lies to her best friend” flu?”

“That UCLA education has you making up illnesses now? Damn Az, you’re supposed to get smarter in college.”

“You’re so funny, like so funny,” Azzi huffs sarcastically before they both dissolve into giggles. It’s always just been so easy with them. And Paige’s isn’t a poet, but if she was, she’d write sonnets about the sound of Azzi’s laughter, and the way it makes the corner of her eyes crinkle. 

“I watched the game,” Azzi says after a second, “and I saw you.”

Paige smirks, “so you didn’t actually watch the game, just stared at my gorgeous face the whole time?”

“There’s that comedian streak of yours again.”

“Hey you’re the one who said you were watching me instead of the game. But who could blame you really?”

“I didn’t-” Azzi rolls her eyes, as Paige’s cocky smirk deepens, “stop it.”

“You can admit I’m a pretty girl Az,” she teases, delighted when it makes the younger girl blush. 

“Fuck off, you have enough people telling you you’re a pretty girl.”

“Yeah but it means more coming from you,” she says quietly, biting her lip. It’s not the kind of thing you’re supposed to say to your best friend, at least not in the soft, wanting way that Paige says it. Except they both know that the lines in their friendship are far more blurred than they should be, even if they've both done a pretty fantastic job at ignoring that kiss. Paige had learned over Christmas that Azzi was exceptionally good at the pretending part, moving away the moment Paige’s hands lingered a little longer than they should, changing topics if they even got anywhere near addressing the something between them. It shouldn’t have hurt but it did and Paige doesn’t understand how she can so desperately miss something that she never even had in the first place. 

“So distraction then?” Azzi says after a second, changing the subject back to her initial question. 

Paige closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath, “it was just- it was a lot tonight. I didn’t realise I was being that obvious.”

“You weren’t. I just know you a little too well.”

“These are my favourite types of games, you know. The rivalry, the crowd booing my name and getting the chance to quiet them, that’s- that’s the type of game players live for and I just- I miss it Azzi. I miss shooting, I miss defending, I miss just standing on the fucking court sometimes. I miss playing basketball. So. Fucking. Much,” a fresh set of tears leak out of Paige's eyes, as her free hand fists at her bedsheets. 

There’s silence as Paige’s words linger in the air. In a way it’s freeing to be able to say it out loud, to just let herself feel how she feels instead of fighting them. 

“You’re gonna miss it every day until you play again,” Azzi says quietly, her own voice thick with emotions, “and it’s not really gonna get easier until you get it back. But when you finally do, just- just imagine it okay, your first game back. The feeling of the crowd. Dribbling up the court. Making that first shot as everybody loses their minds. Finally just playing the game you love. That’s when that feeling of loss will finally go away.”

Using Azzi’s steady breathing as an anchor to still her erratic heartbeat, Paige lets herself get lost in the picture the younger girl has just painted for her. She lets her mind run to the future that lies ahead of her and if she focuses hard enough she can almost hear the Gampel crowds roaring as she finally returns to the court. 

“It’s kinda really fucking annoying how you always know what to say,” no it isn’t, it’s the only thing that’s keeping Paige going these days. 

“Surviving an ACL injury will do that to a girl,” Azzi says with a pained smile. 

That’s not it Paige thinks, it’s not experience, it’s you and I really wish you were here. But she can’t say that, so she changes the subject instead. 

“Tell me about your game tomorrow.”

They both settle back into their pillows, getting into more comfortable positions. Azzi tells Paige all about her upcoming game and then moves onto another topic, then another and another and another. They’ll wake up tomorrow morning to phones that died and no memory of when they’d fallen asleep. And then they’ll remember who was on the other end of the line, and if that makes them smile a little too hard, well that’s just another thing they’ll pretend didn’t happen. 

***

March 2023

It’s only natural that when Paige finally feels like she can learn to live with just having a little bit of Azzi, that the world would show her just how wrong she could be. She’s been in a much better headspace these days, her knee finally starting to feel like itself again, bit by bit. The guilt of not being able to help her team is still settled into the pits of her stomach but even with that, she’s reached a sort of acceptance. And while she’s still struggling to fight the part of her heart that wants so much more, she’s learning to be content with just having her best friend back.

It’s that little bit of time in between conference tournaments and the NCAA tournament when it feels like the calm before the storm and it’s the first weekend since before the season that the UConn team finally gets to go out and let loose for a bit. They’re riding the height of winning another Big East title and even if it’s a little bittersweet that they did it without her, Paige is beyond the moon happy for her team. 

She turns up the music in her room and changes the lights for the sake of a little ambience, before sitting down at her desk, to call Azzi and do what little of her makeup she knows how to do. Normally she’d get one of the other girls or Kayla to do it, but she’d rather sacrifice a flawless makeup look then miss out on having Azzi tease her about how she still didn’t quite know how to do her eyeliner properly yet. 

The fact that it takes Azzi longer than the third ring to pick up should be Paige’s first warning sign but instead she’s sucking in a deep breath at the sight of her best friend who looks breathtakingly beautiful tonight. Paige’s heart stutters as she takes in Azzi’s face, the light layer of red lipstick (that Paige wants to kiss off), the blush-tinged cheeks (that Paige wants to caress delicately) and the perfectly done mascara on her eyelashes (that Paige wants to feel flutter against her own skin). 

She lets out a low appreciative whistle, “celebrating that Pac-12 championship in style huh?”

“Something like that,” Azzi bites her lip and really that should have been warning sign number two, “was there- was there something you needed?’

“I can’t just call you?” Paige asks, noticing the tension on Azzi’s face, “are you busy?”

“No it’s not-”

“She is actually,” a different voice cuts in aggressively and Azzi immediately gives whoever it is an exasperated look. Paige doesn’t know who it is, but she guesses it’s one of the UCLA players. It’s no secret they aren’t huge fans of her. They’d made that much clear the few times they’d met Paige during September, always regarding her with a wary eyes. It wasn’t their fault really, Paige understood their protectiveness, in fact she appreciated it more than they would ever understand. 

“Chill Angela.” 

“Are you not busy then?” the other voice who Paige assumes is Angela Dugalic says, clearly a little annoyed. And then Azzi’s phone is being shifted away from her and instead it’s Angela’s face that covers Paige’s screen. 

“Oh,” the blonde manages to get out, taken aback by the sudden change, “hi Angela.”

“Hi Paige,” the other girl says, her voice dripping with saccharine sweetness. 

“Angela,” there’s a clear warning in Azzi’s voice and Paige already knows, even before the words are let out into the open, that whatever Dugalic is about to say is going to tear her apart. 

“Azzi has a date tonight,” Angela pronounces the last words with a gleeful lilt. 

The world spins and Paige’s head spins with it, as she grips onto her desk for some semblance of stability. She can hear Azzi spluttering in the background as she tries to get her phone back but it’s of no use as the UCLA forward powers on. 

“With a really pretty girl,” Angela smirks at the camera, clearly trying to prove something, “Zoe’s really wonderful. You’d like her, Paige.”

Zoe. Recognition registers in Paige’s brain. She remembers seeing the name flashing on Azzi’s phone a couple of times, accompanied by a photo she never quite caught a glimpse of. But as she tended to do with most phone calls that came during her time with Paige, Azzi had simply just declined the call and texted whoever that she’d call her back later. And so Paige hadn’t really bothered caring about Zoe, chalking her up to being some random friend Azzi had made. But fuck, maybe she should have cared. 

“And Azzi really likes her I think. They’ve been tiptoeing around it for ages you know? But we all knew it was only a matter of time.”

A strangled noise escapes Paige’s throat and she tries her best to disguise it as anything but the cry of despair it is. It feels like there’s a thousand knives digging into her skin, pressing harder and harder until she has no blood left to bleed. 

“They’re gonna make the cu-”

“Give me my phone back Angela,” Azzi’s voice cuts in harshly and Paige hurriedly rushes to contort her features into a smile right before the camera’s back to facing her best friend. 

“So you’re all dressed up for a date then?” Paige manages to get out and the word date sounds like bile on her tongue. 

“Doesn’t she look lovely?” comes Angela’s voice again; the girl seemingly on a mission to break Paige as much as possible, “give her a proper look Az.”

“Angela,” Azzi hisses through gritted teeth. 

“N-no show me the fit,” Paige counters, because that’s what a best friend’s supposed to say right? Show me how fucking perfect you look for a girl that’s not me

Azzi hesitates, swallowing nervously, before she takes a couple of steps back so the camera captures all of her. And Paige wishes she’d never asked to be shown in the first place, hell she wishes she’d never bothered to call tonight. Because she thinks the image of Azzi’s casual light blue jeans and simple green off-the shoulder top will be etched in her mind forever, captioned with the words not for you. 

“You look lovely Azzi,” she whispers quietly, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Zoe won’t be able to keep her fucking hands off of you,” Angela supplies and this time the glare Azzi shoots her is murderous. 

“I think I hear Emily calling your name Angela.”

“I don’t-”

“Yes,” Azzi says pointedly, “yes you do.”

Angela rolls her eyes but doesn’t protest this time. She turns to the phone with a devilish grin, clearly feeling accomplished in being a menace, “nice talking to you Paige.”

She waltzes out, leaving Paige, Azzi and a silence that feels like it could drown them. 

“You could have told me,” the blond says after a second, averting her eyes from the screen, “aren’t dates the kind of thing best friends are supposed to tell each other?”

“Paige-”

“It’s good though- you-uh- you deserve a night out.”

“P-”

“Listen, I uh- I’m going out too so- I- umm- I better get going but-,” Paige takes in a deep breath, “have a- have wonderful time on your date Az.”

She hangs up before Azzi can reply, the concern in the younger girl's eyes becoming too much to bear. For a moment, she stares straight ahead at the wall, just processing. And then she lets herself fall apart. 

***

It’s 1 a.m., Paige is drunk and miserable and so fucking tired; it’s an extremely dangerous combination. Aaliyah and Amari had practically had to carry her to her dorm because she’d been stumbling far too much and everyone was worried she’d eventually fall flat on her face. Personally, Paige thought they just didn’t have enough faith in her. She wasn’t even that drunk, she couldn’t be. After all she could still feel that stupid Azzi-sized scar on heart and wasn’t the whole point of being drunk supposed to be not being able to feel? But she has to be drunk because sober her would know better than to do what she does next, would know better than to call Azzi when she has no control over herself. 

“Paige? Is everything okay? Are you okay,” Azzi’s voice is filled with concern when she answers.

“Azziiiii,” Paige slurs, “areyoustillwithyourdate?”

“What?”

“Are. you. still. with. your. date?” Paige pronounces each word slowly. 

“I- yeah. She’s in a different room. Paige, are you okay?” 

“Interesting,” the blonde remarks quietly, “you never picked up her calls when you were with me. And we weren’t even dating.”

She hears Azzi’s breath hitch on the other end, can almost picture her doing that nervous swallow of hers, “ I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“You didn’t care if she was okay then? Those times she called you?”

“That’s not- she didn’t call me at 1 a.m.” the younger girl justifies hollowly. 

“Bullshit,” Paige scoffs, “1 a.m. isn’t even that fucking late. Why is it so hard for you to admit you care about me waaaayyyyy more than you care about Zara or whatever?”

“Zoe. You’re drunk Paige, go to bed,” and Paige really should listen to the edge in Azzi’s voice.

“Where did y’all go?” she asks lightly, changing the subject, “c’mon Az, best friends share their date stories right?”

“Baltaire,” Azzi relents, choosing to let this battle go. 

“Oooh that restaurant we passed that one time wow,” Paige coos, “too fucking bad you hate fine dining huh? But she wouldn’t know that now would she? Because she doesn’t fucking know you.”

“Paige please,” Azzi breathes out quietly in a pained voice.

“But you know who does know you? Me. And I would have never taken you to some boring old fancy ass piece of shit restaurant like that.”

“Don’t-”

“I would have taken you on a picnic. Do you remember that park you loved, the one by my air bnb? There, that’s where I would have taken you. And I’d have gotten you supermarket sushi even though I fucking hate that shit but I know, I know, you like it. And flowers. Did she get you flowers? Because I- I would have. Roses and peonies and lilies, a whole fucking bouquet.”

And Paige is crying again, for the second time tonight, one hand gripping at her phone as the other one tries to wipe away the frantically falling teardrops. 

“And we’d stay at that park til the sun goes out and I’d take a polaroid of you in the sunset and I’d keep it forever. I swear Azzi, I’d keep it forever and I’d put it on my wall.”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, as if it’s the only word she knows, as if it’s the only word that matters. 

“I’d bring my laptop so that when it finally gets dark, we can watch a movie. You choose Az, whatever you want. And I’d get distracted and start playing with your hair or something and you’ll pretend it’s annoying you but you’d be smiling. Fuck I love your smile.”

“You can’t- you can’t just say these things Paige.”

“Why not? It’s the truth right- why can’t I say the truth?,” Paige says petulantly, “but hush okay I’m not- I’m not finished yet. And then, then we’d just lie under the stars and it'd just be you, me and the sky. Perfect.” 

Azzi lets out a broken sob and Paige hates it, she hates it but she keeps on talking. 

“And then I’d take you home and I’d kiss you,” she whispers the last bit like a confession, “everywhere. Fuck, I’d make it so good for you Az. So good. Everything you wanted, everything you needed, I’d give you all of it. I’d make you come apart on my fingers and then my tongue-”

“Shut up,” Azzi’s voice is suddenly cold and frosty and it feels like all the heat has been sucked out of Paige’s room as well, “shut up, shut up, shut up.”

“Azzi-”

“No,” Azzi all but yells, “you don’t get to say all of that to me.”

“Then who does? Her? Zia or whatever? Who the fuck even is she?” Paige spits out venomously.

“Zoe. Her name is Zoe and you wanna know she is Paige?” 

She should say no. She should apologise for interrupting Azzi’s date and hang up the phone, but no, Paige doesn’t do any of that, “enlighten me why don’t you.”

“She’s the girl who was there,” Azzi says, her voice cracking, “she’s the girl who held me last year when I was going through the worst time of my life. She was there when I couldn’t make a fucking shot and I thought maybe I’d never be good enough. She was there when I let the pressure and the media and all of it get to my head. She was there when I was crying my eyes out over losing the one person I was sure would always stay. She- she’s who you were supposed to be because she was there, and you weren’t.”

Paige isn’t sure if it’s the bitterness behind Azzi’s words or the brokenness of her sobs that is the reason for the ache in her own chest. All she knows is that she still remembers tearing her ACL, and she doesn’t think it hurt as much as this. 

“It was supposed to be you,” Azzi sniffles, “I wanted it to be you. Because I’d have let you- fuck- Paige- I’d have let you take me on a picninc and if you brought me sushi I’d have brought you your favorite mac and cheese. I- I know you don’t really care about flowers so I’d get you chocolate, the rum-filled ones that you love. And that sunset polaroid would have been a selfie of us, where you’re kissing my cheek and I’d have it framed. I’d pick out a movie but first- first you could watch whatever basketball game was on and you’d get exasperated when I don’t know the team because I’m literally a basketball player,” she lets out a wet laugh, “but I know you secretly like explaining the NBA to me. And then- then I’d have let you take me home and I’d let you take everything. Whatever you wanted, it’d be yours.”

The vivid image of a date that never happened fills every inch of Paige’s brain. She feels like she’s in a bad dream, trying so hard to reach for a happiness that keeps on evading her grasp. 

“But you weren’t there then Paige, and you aren’t here now.” 

“Azzi-” Paige chokes out. 

“Go to bed Paige,” the younger girl says, her voice shaky but adamant, ‘Get some sleep. Maybe you’re drunk enough that you won’t remember this when I call you tomorrow.”

“Right. So we’re gonna pretend this never happened. Again. We’ll just keep on pretending forever I guess,” Paige retorts bitterly. 

“Yes, we will. Because if I stop pretending, I don’t think I’ll be able to survive.”

***

The buzzer rings around Climate Pledge Arena as the UCLA women’s basketball team loses in the Elite 8 on a last second buzzer beater. Azzi’s face contorts into one of sheer disappointment, and in the stands, Paige feels her own heart drop. She’s not one to root for a team outside of her own and god knows what would happen if Nika found out that she’d been screaming her head off each time the Bruins, or at least one specific Bruin, scored, but for Azzi, well, there’s not many of her own rules that Paige follows when it comes to her best friend. 

It had taken a fair amount of convincing on Paige’s part to even be able to come to this game. Everyone had wanted to leave immediately after the Sweet 16 loss but Paige had insisted they needed to stay in Seattle, do something to get the team’s mind off of the terrible end to their season. And that wasn’t a complete lie because even if she hadn’t been able to help when they needed it on the court, she could try and help boost morale. But she knew her teammates weren’t fooled. They knew the schedule just as well as she did and they knew exactly what or better yet, who she wanted to stay for. 

On the court, Paige can tell Azzi’s fighting back tears. The brunette had given it her all, scoring an efficient 34 points and really the game could have gone any way. That last minute heave from the opposing team really probably shouldn’t have gone in, but at the end of the day the NCAA tournament was a lot about skill but also a little about luck. But Paige knows, Azzi isn’t thinking about any of that, too busy finding a way to blame herself even though she’d had a near perfect night. They were just too similar sometimes. 

Azzi’s eyes flicker through the stands, clearly looking for a familiar face. Paige resists the urge to run on to the court and pull the younger girl into her arms and soothe away the defeated look in her eyes, if only for the fact that Azzi doesn’t actually even know she’d figured out a way to stay back for this game. Despite being in the same city, they hadn’t been able to spend nearly as much time together and while Paige’s teammates had tried to be of some help, Azzi’s teammates had seemed determined to pull her away as much as possible. All of that on top of the fact that they’re still playing that stupid game of pretend had left Paige wanting for just one moment alone for the two of them. 

As soon as the UCLA team starts heading back to their locker room, and the crowd starts leaving, Paige scurries towards where she knows Azzi will be. Their assigned locker room isn’t that far from where UConn’s had been and Paige gets there in almost record time, her mind firmly planted on being there for Azzi. She’d missed so many opportunities, but this time, this time she’d be there. 

Azzi’s leaning against the wall, her eyes closed and Paige has to take in a breath at the sight of her. Sweat sheens against her tan skin and her gameday braids are falling apart just a little but still, she’s perfect. Before Paige can take a step towards her, there’s another girl, all dark hair and long legs, brushing past her, rushing to get to Azzi’s side. It’s like the world has stopped and yet is spinning too fast all at the same time, as Paige watches this girl, Zoe, pull Azzi, Paige’s Azzi, into her arms. 

After the night of the date (and everything else they’re ignoring), Paige hadn’t bothered to bring it up and Azzi had never said anything about it again. Naively, the blonde had thought that maybe that meant nothing much had transpired after the date, silently patting herself on the back for possibly even having had a hand in that. Except, the way Zoe holds Azzi isn’t fucking platonic and the way Azzi relaxes in Zoe’s arms, isn’t fucking friendly. 

“I”ve got you Az,” Zoe whispers into Azzi’s hair and Paige wants to die. She should look away, she should walk away but her feet seem to be glued to the ground. And she remembers the way Azzi’s eyes were searching the crowd and oh- she’d been looking for- Paige can’t even let herself complete the thought because she’s sure she’ll burst into flames the second she does. 

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Azzi says quietly to Zoe. To Zoe, and not Paige. If she could feel anything beyond the dagger twisting in her heart, maybe Paige would hear the way there’s still a tinge of disappointment in Azzi’s voice, as if she’s wishing it was someone else. 

It takes Zoe pressing a kiss into Azzi’s forehead, eliciting a sigh from the brunette for Paige to finally tear her eyes away. Her feet finally move and then she’s running faster than she has in a long time, ignoring the way it causes her muscle to ache. She can’t tell if her rapid blinking is to usher away the tears or to try and prevent the memory of Azzi with some other girl from welding itself into her eyelids. It blurs her vision and in the speed of things, she can barely tell where she’s going. Paige runs chest-first into a wall, bruising her elbow. Her phone slips out of her hands, falling to the ground with a loud thud, the screen protector cracking into pieces. 

And when Paige looks at the mess of her phone on the floor, she thinks it couldn’t possibly have cracked harder than this silly little stupid heart of hers.

[dindjarindiaries]

Dincember 2023 - December 1: Snow

character: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

prompt: Snow

main masterlist • dincember masterlist

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙

The poncho was a valiant shield against the unprecedented chill of the planet. Flakes of snow fell all around, nearly making the horizon a blur in its beautiful haze. It was pretty to look at, but damn, was it cold.

You held one half-gloved hand out in a vain effort to catch some of the snowflakes, and it wasn't the first time you'd done it. This time, however, it earned your companion's attention. "You're acting like you've never seen snow before." Din's voice was full of amusement rather than judgement.

You smiled and closed your fist, looking to see if anything was left in it. There were only a few droplets of water. "I haven't."

Din's helmet snapped towards you. He huffed and shook his head. "That's funny."

You raised your brow and turned to look at him. "I'm being serious."

Din tilted his helmet. His visor gave you a disbelieving once-over. "How?"

You let out a laugh out that. "What do you mean, 'how?'" You gestured back with your head and nudged his arm with your own. "Not everyone has an antique gunship that can take them wherever they want."

Din chuckled, his visor watching his boots leave tracks in the snow. "Sorry. I just..." He lifted the palm of his gloved hand to gesture to you, but then he stopped, as if lost. "I figured a great mechanic would have gotten around the galaxy more."

You smiled again at that and drew yourself closer to his side. "Mechanics become great by fixing ships," you gestured to your belt, "not flying them."

Din gave his helmet another quick tilt. "Fair point." His visor looked to the way ahead again while you focused on the flurries of snow. Still, even as you continued to try to catch the snow, you could somehow sense his gaze on you. "Do you like it?"

You gave him a quick glance. "The snow?" When Din nodded, you shrugged. "I think. It's really cold."

"It is." Din's visor gave you a once-over again, but that time, it was more concerned than before. "Are you warm enough?"

You nodded, beaming. "This poncho's thicker than it looks."

Din raised a gloved hand, politely asking for yours. You set yours into his, though he just held it between his thumb and fingertips as he turned it over. "We need to get you a pair of full gloves."

"I probably could've brought my working gloves instead, but..." you shrugged again, "I guess I didn't really think about it until now."

Din shook his helmet and set his hand on your upper back. "That's all right. I'm sure they'll have some at the marketplace."

The warmth his words and his actions brought your chest was more sufficient than any type of clothing or accessory could ever be. You looked at him and saw a snowflake stuck to his visor, causing you to lift your fingers to gently wipe it away. "Thank you."

Din brushed his thumb over your back. "Thank you." He lowered his hand and stopped in his tracks for a moment. You paused alongside him, raising your brow in confusion. Din bent down and collected some of the fallen snow in his gloved hands, pushing it together until he held something out to you. "Here."

You took it, amazed at how compact it was. "A snowball?"

Din stepped back and lifted his arms. "Go ahead."

"And do what?"

"Throw it."

You let out a terse laugh of disbelief. "At you?"

Din sighed and set his hands on his hips. "You're missing your opportunity, cyar'ika."

Just as he finished getting the words out, you made the throw, causing the snow to hit Din's cuirass and explode in every direction. You laughed as he looked down the best he could with his helmet and assessed the damage. You stepped up to help him brush away the remnants of the snow.

"Was it fun?" Din's tone was both hopeful and amused.

You smiled at him and nodded. "But next time," you held his helmet between your hands, "you won't be ready for it."

Din huffed, amused, and gave your wrists a squeeze before he lowered your hands. "Well, we have to get you some warmer gloves to make those snowballs, first."

You let him keep you close to his side and tried to hide your smile. "Sure."

[buckysbabygorl]

A Stitch In Time (Part 7)

Word Count: 675

Part 6

Series Masterlist

Summary: Tony is sent to investigate an anomaly.

~

December 14, 2023

Hank always got a little sad around the holidays; though he was happier now that his family was back together, his beautiful wife and daughter… the growth of family with Scott and Cassie. He had a lot to be thankful for, but Y/N was hard to forget.

After the explosion, he and Stark worked tirelessly to recreate the project. Desperate that somehow Y/N was still alive, that she could come back to them. But to no avail.

Budget cuts, superiors seeing Y/N as a number rather than a human being, then Hank’s dismissal from the corporation…

And with the loss of his wife, he lost hope that he could rewrite the past.

He learned to accept things the way they were, trying to be grateful for what he had now.

Still… he couldn’t help his melancholy.

The IQEM had major upgrades; a defense system to pick up massive ratings of power, like Thano’s Snap or the emergence of a celestial. As well as smaller scale blips such as time travel or alien life penetrating the atmosphere. It shocked Hank to think that at one time, this system guarded a small lab and ran minor experiments; now it was one of Earth’s best protection services.

He was frantic as the ratings suddenly spiked in the US, fearing the worst.

Stark and him decided to team up, forgive and forget as best as they could if they were to mend the brokenness that the Blip left. Utilizing Pym’s defense system, Tony would respond to any major readings the IQEM picked up.

After Hank called him, and he called Rogers, he made his way to Lehigh with Rhodey at his side, both suited up and anticipating battle.

He prepared for alien life, a new super getting the hang of their powers… he didn’t think that he’d see a civilian in the ghost town of a base. There was no way this woman could find herself out here.

Rhodey was skeptical, no matter how this individual appeared, they couldn’t create an energy reading that large without some type of superpower or quantum enhancement.

The men landed swiftly in front of her, she drew back afraid.

“State who you are and when you’re from.” Rhodey declared.

“Where.” Tony corrected.

“No, I mean when.”

Eyes wide, she scanned the empty base and the men in front of her.

“What the hell happened here? Did you two do this?”

The men shared a Look, either she was in some state of shock or certainly from a different time.

Everyone knew this base was destroyed; general public and government officials alike.

“Look, lady--”

“I’m not a Lady, I’m an agent.” She snarled, “Show some respect.”

“Agent?” Tony questioned.

Rhodey ignored her, nudging Tony to stay focused.

“State your credentials.”

She spat on the ground in front of him.

“Rub salt.”

Tony blinked. Her words took him back, something he’d heard his parent’s friends say in passing as a child. Such an outdated turn of phrase, so familiar

“Take off your helmet.”

The command shocked Rhodey, questioning why Tony would direct that at him.

“What? No--”

Rhodey cut himself off. Without hesitation, Tony removed his helmet and exposed his face.

The woman’s breath stifled.

“Howard?” She asked.

Tony’s mouth turned in a half smile; feeling misty eyed all of the sudden.

“No, I’m his son. Tony…”

Rhodey’s eyes went wide. “What are you doing?”

Tony ignored Rhodey, sauntering forward in a dream-like state. This had never been something he would fathom, he never imagined in all his years he would see her…

“--But I used to get that all the time. When I was younger. Unfortunately you weren’t around to make the comparison.”

She took off her helmet in return, “Then, you’re telling me it worked?”

“I am.”

They stood before each other, lost for words amidst the rubble of her past.

“Tony what’s going on?”

“Colonel Rhodes,” Tony started, “meet Agent L/N. Former Lieutenant and SHIELD Agent, who we now have just confirmed is alive after 53 years.”

~

Yall boutta hate me with this short update, but there is more to come! I solemnly swear

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[mochinek0]

Daminette December 2023: 7-In a League of their Own (SUB)

Damian sat in his apartment trying to empty his mind. His girlfriend, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, was the most amazing person he ever met. He was still shocked she agreed to date him. Today was one of those days when he thought he was just holding her back from greatness.

'Marinette deserves better than me. She's smart, tactical, and crafty. You would think Mother or Father trained her.'

'Not only is she smart, but she can cook and bake. I'm still learning. I'm sure there's day she wishes she could have a home cooked meal. I can only take her out to resturants or make her breakfast. She makes the most amazing dinners! Everything she makes tastes delicious. Anyone would be lucky to eat her food everyday.'

'She's an amazing business woman. Marinette is practically running her own company and I don't even have full control of Wayne Enterprise! She isn't afraid to tell people off. Mother would have loved her commanding presence. Everyone, including Father, is scared of me.'

'Maybe I should break up with her.'

Damian's thoughts were broken when he doorbell went of continuously.

'Who could that be? Must be Grayson.'

Damian opened the door to see his girlfriend standing there in tears.

'What the fuck?'

Marinette lunged into his arms.

"Who-" he began to demand.

"It's been a really bad day." Marinette cried into his arms, "Can I just stay with you? I always feel better when I'm with you."

Damian took a deep breath and pushed his anger down, for another time.

"Of course." he spoke.

Damian picked her up and set her down on the couch. As she wiped her tears away, he began to take off her shoes and her coat. He went into the kitchen and grabbed her a glass of water to rehydrate and ordered some of her favorite take out, along with her favorite ice cream.

"So, what happened?" he questioned, handing her the water.

Marinette had went on to explain how there had been mix up with a few orders. A person she had fired had put in the orders and when they hadn't come in on time, she called the company only to find out that person had cancelled the orders. Once she told them that person had been fired months ago, they quickly put in motion to send the fabric and other items needed. Unfortunately for her, one of the clients pulled out of her services because of that claiming she was incompetent at her job. That had only been the morning. She had worked through her lunch to tackle anything her ex-employee had touched and caleld companies to ensure that the previous person didn't dictate her orders and informed them of any changes or wrong-doings the person had done. After that, she had to get her lawyers involved as the person was order fabrics under her name and Marinette had never received them. With all the invoices from the companies, her lawyer was sure it would be a clean sweep.

A knock at the door drew their attention away from each other.

"I'll get it." Damian offered.

When he checked the peep hole, he saw the delivery driver holding up the bag of food. He unlocked the door and took the bag. When he turned around, he could see she was surprised to see him holding up food. Marinette just looked at him with tears in her eyes and smiled. Damian quickly set the food down and rushed to her side.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

Marinette kissed him, leaving him stunned.

"You are the most amazing boyfriend ever." Mari declared, "I'm sure anyone else would be jealous to know my boyfriend is in a league all of his own."

Damian kissed her back, "You may think so, but you Angel are in a league above me."

Marinette cuddled into his arms.

'We can eat the food he got in a few moments.'

TAGLIST: @maribat-calendar-events@animeweebgirl@a-star-with-a-human-name@meme991001@vixen-uchiha@abrx2002@alysrose-starchild@fandom-trapped-03@dood-space@moonlightstar64@saltymiraculer@marveldcedits20@09shell-sea09@icerosecrystal@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@blueblossombliss@nickristus-dreamer@megawhitleycalderonpaganus@missmadwoman@meira-3919@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@blep-23@fangirlingfanatic@darkhinauniverse@ravenr22@im-a-satanic-ritual@ravennm84@bianca-hooks123@a-slytherinish-gryffindor@starling218

[unclewarwick]

i am making this an art blog now, so i thought i should actually start posting my art here. i finished this drawing today and the rest of the art in this post is from newest to oldest. this post is most of my batman-related art since the last time i posted a big amount of batman art (which was december 2022).

i have a heavy preference for drawing batjokes but am trying to draw more and more of the rogues gallery. i have my own vague storyline ideas that include both batman and the joker being trans men, but in my story he is called bruceman/bat wayne.

2024-07-10 -- i do an annual redraw of this meme. this was the fifth version. the first time i drew it (in 2021) was the first time i had tried to properly draw either of them, despite having a deep batman interest for a long long time, and drawing for even longer.

2024-06-28 -- i spent 41 and a half hours on this one. my first big attempt at pixel art. it was from a bad chronic illness week so it was meant as a purposely ugly and simple drawing but it spiralled out of control.

2024-07-05 and 2024-05-11 -- my concept art for the scarecrow.

2024-04-22 and 2024-03-21 and 2024-02-11 -- the joker taunting bat wayne, an argument with alfred, a community meme redraw that i didn't like the end result of but was unwell while drawing so i give myself a break.

2024-02-08 and 2024-02-06 -- the riddler being desperate for attention on social media, my two-face concept art

2024-01-27 -- my take on the oft-parodied the amazing spider-man #601 cover art.

2024-01-18 -- joker thinks he's being sneaky but doesn't know he's with the same person twice.

2024-01-11 and 2024-01-10 -- catwoman being fun and sillie (from before i redesigned her weird mask and goggles that i originally tried to give her)

art from 1 and 8 december of 2023 that i posted on here

both from 2023-09-10 -- a couple of quick low effort drawings from when i was feeling funky

2023-08-06 and 2023-08-13 and 2023-08-18 -- mini comic where you can see the comic formatting skill developing in each part.. just a small story idea i had revolving around a double joke about bat wayne's Identity. and still figuring out how to draw the riddler.

2023-08-02 -- my first depiction of riddler & first drawing of har-lee (my name for harley quinn) out of costume.

2023-06-18 and 2023-06-15 -- my first drawings ever of har-lee; i did not stick with this costume design for her because i fixed it and made it actually look good and make sense at all a whole year later (character design is my weakness), and also just a simple meme.

2023-06-15 -- i don't have an animation program, so making this was a real struggle.

2023-04-28 and 2023-04-23 -- bruceman picking up tampons in the middle of a fight, bruceman and joker "fighting".

2023-04-04 and 2023-03-21 -- Earring Magic J, joker being the autistic, gay, trans dad of autistic, gay, trans pee-wee herman (including muffin the cat from batman: legends of the dark knight #50)

all from 2022-11-14 -- a comic Not about being trans, no, not at all...

2022-11-27 -- a fully rendered version of the last panel.

there's more that's not included here because of the 30 image limitation, but those are mostly further concept drawings of har-lee that i didn't like, and lower quality joke drawings. one bigger thing i've left out are stills from an animatic/animation project i started quite a while back (it's not even my only WIP of that kind) and haven't continued progress on for a while. i would prefer to share that all at once whenever it's finished.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

The improved behavioral modulator seems to be working.... well, with mixed results.

The Toy Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four (you are here)

Takes place after the Back to Skool Arc

But Before the GIR ARC

Master Post

Support me on Patreon to get updates early (i can't promise frequent udates)

Kofi

Boo! An update! under the cut for more personal stuff as you prob wonder why this au has been silent lately.

Hey, I know it's been awhile since you've seen me. Well, that's cause I've been holding onto this update for awhile. Since December of 2022.

There's a lot of reasons why I haven't posted this. Mostly to do with severe depression, and anxiety getting worse, and a major art complex on my shoulder.

Plus, fact of the matter is that I lost all of my notes for the Post-Florpus AU. Yeah. Every single one, cause I handwrote those notes and who knows where they are now. I had this huge thing for this little arc here planned, and cause my memory problems are getting worse, I don't remember the initial interactions I had planned for Zim and GIR that fit the major part of the story.

So this thing is very much in Hiatus and I haven't drawn most of 2023 I think. I still have one additional Post-Florpus comic I'm sitting on that I drew in 2019, but I hesitate uploading that one with no context to something I can't remember.

As always, this au is pretty personal to me, and while I am still working on FNAF stuff, I might come back to this officially one day.

But for now, I'll just give you some scraps I've been hoarding to myself for a full year.

The series is in Hiatus still, and I hope to find my joy of drawing again.

[kaelidascope]

In light of some dirty laundry found, I'd like to set the record straight about a threat that was made against me and my work

Since I'm being accused of stealing or copying a roleplay that was done between 2021-2022, here's the facts. The roleplay started with a concept that I had made about a magic college school for another roleplay that never went anywhere and was then repurposed for this one with a new partner. The question was popped on 2/23/21 and we began on 2/25/21.

It lasted the span of a little over a year and went through several rounds of development, a few attempted rewrites, and a spin off sequel revolving their kids. It was a good split between actually roleplaying the characters and also just hours upon hours of talking/plotting as one does. Usual exchanges between creators. We never posted the roleplay publicly anywhere, so it was never officially 'published', nor were any legal steps taken to get rights reserved. I'm fairly certain a discussion happened once about turning it into a book but both parties were not on the same page so it never went anywhere. We did ofc share it with close friends and just talked about it in general.

I also drew quite a bit of art for it, and we both collectively commissioned better artists for art for the characters as well. I did not put in nearly as much money as my roleplay partner did, but I did most of the concept art to provide as reference.

After the friendship ended and the roleplay was put to rest, I pulled the OCs that I had exclusively made to start working on a new concept. I had no intention of using anything that wasn't mine. The new concept was entirely removed from it's original source, meaning different setting, different characters, different everything. It was just repurposed OCs that had new backstories and purposes and new ones that I had made to replace characters I didn't own. However, despite the change, I was threatened with a Cease and Desist form pulled off Google by my previous roleplay partner because I made a vague tweet showing progress of the reworked characters (Rowen, who was in the original roleplay, and her love interest, Lyra, that was meant to be a replacement design for a character I did not own). Lyra shared a physical likeness to the original character, Emi, that was owned and played by my roleplay partner that they designed using an AI generator and then I later drew concepts for [white complexion, black hair, blue eyes]. I took it down as requested, sent it back to the workshop, consulted several professionals to make sure any likeness was scrubbed away, and put it on the back burner for further development so I could be left in peace.

I made this disclaimer post back in December 2023 about any likeness my own OCs would share in future projects and their affiliated partners on twitter. At the time, the names and designs were still being changed so Rowen Santiago was a placeholder while I was waiting to hear back from legal advice. I never said I was taking what was originally written and publishing it 'as is'. I'm allowed to use my original character designs for different purposes.

Ultimately, I came to the decision after a lengthy back and forth to scrap my own OCs original personality and design and start from scratch. Only a few things survived that can have lines drawn between the original roleplay design and the new story concept [the magic collar, werewolfism, Hispanic descent, wolf eyes] but that's nothing new. I have a lot of werewolf OCs. I've got an entire series dedicated to werewolf OCs. The new story concept is more military and racism based set in a fantasy dystopian universe than a magical school romance trope set in English Europe. The new story isn't even set on Earth, it's so far removed from where the original design came from it's not even remotely close to this roleplay. The kind of prose and worldbuilding featured in this new work is similar to the fanfiction I already write and am known for [The new world building will be somewhat similar to a setting I already made as far as fantasy science themes go. See Midnight Menagerie]. I also have several designs that look similar to each other (see MM Blake and Tessa for example. Same hairstyle. And MM Yang's entire physique was scraped from Rowen's whole vibe) though I can say my art style is improving enough to where I don't suffer from same face syndrome anymore (at least I hope!). All my bases were covered, everything was a brand new start over and nothing from the original roleplay was touched.

Well, even after a whole year and a half later post cut-off and small meltdown, it's apparently still living in their head rent-free that I am stealing their work and threats are still being made both anonymously and by name!

So I'll tell y'all what, for anybody who's curious, go ahead and have full access of all the notes and docs that I supposedly 'stole' and you tell me if my future works are stealing lol since you wanna wave it around like it's a big scary threat to get me any time I draw sapphic content that isn't fanart. The only things I will not include on this post is the commissioned work because I don't know who originally did them and therefor I'm not sure what their reposting terms are

Anything listed as [NOT ME] was not written by me. Otherwise everything else is either by me or was collaborated on (like the roleplay exchanges)

Misc Docs

Rowemi timeline 2.0

Figure Skating Practice

Emi/Lauren Relationship Notes

Pregnancy Arc Notes

Project Blackbird Notes

Worldbuilding Notes

Rowen Build Sheet

Rowen Notes

Emi Build Sheet (NOT ME)

Emi/Mom Relationship Notes (NOT ME)

Rewrite Docs

Prologue

Episode I

Shorts

William's Lament

Another Secret in the Pile

Rowen's Invitation

The Meeting (NOT ME)

The Hospital Visit (NOT ME)

Simon's Suggestion (NOT ME)

The Date (NOT ME)

Original Roleplay Docs

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 4.5

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Artwork Done By Me

Genuinely I'm not sure what y'all hope to accomplish by obsessively sending me hate mail and empty threats like I'm supposed to care and be effected by it. I haven't even looked at it since I quit Deviantart lol it has nothing to do with my current projects and it died when I cut you off. You never even knew what the new novel project was about, so you really had no grounds to threaten me with that email or the anonymous inbox submissions. You also slipped up and sent one with your actual user after I turned that off, that's how I figured out you were still obsessed with me after all this time. I encourage you to do something with your ideas someday. While you weren't the healthiest friendship I've ever had, the roleplay was fun to engage in. Maybe working on something new will bring you the peace of mind you're looking for and help you move on.

[genericpuff]

I drew this 5 years ago in 2019 when I was in the midst of some hardcore burnout with my original projects-

A year later, in the midst of the 2020 pandemic lockdowns, I completed Volume 6 and jumped right into Volume 7. I had finally "gotten over it" as my past self had hoped for but couldn't see through the haze of burnout at the time.

A year after that, on December 31st 2021, the series ended, coming in at 11 volumes, 2000+ page, and 7 years of work.

Now it's 2024. The "sequel" to this series has been on hiatus since December 2022, with only one update since in April 2023 and the next episode is still sitting in my WIP's. I'm feeling the suffocation I felt back then, and trying to remind myself that, like last time, I'll eventually "get over it". In the meantime, I've been working hard on a comic I never saw coming, LORE | REKINDLED, and I couldn't be more thankful for the things I've learned making it. It gave me the space and time I needed away from the pit I was digging myself into, a pit that I'm still working to get out of.

For 7 long years I felt like a "failure". I defined it as "not having readers", "not making money" , "not getting seen". And while my definition of success still includes some of those things - we all want to see some kind of tangible return for our work and that's natural - I know now in hindsight that the "failures" of that comic were necessary to get to where I am now. I'm thankful that it was nothing more than that, that I was able to make those mistakes and learn what I needed to learn without the pressures of what the popular definition of "success" tends to bring.

That comic was still a success in its own way. I completed it. I learned. The scars from what I put myself through making it are still there, but I'm healing, and getting stronger. I'm putting out some of the best work I've ever pushed myself to do, and I'm having a blast doing it. And I'm starting to make plans for my return to my original series, with the focus and skills I've gained working on Rekindled at the forefront.

And I can happily say that I'm no longer afraid of panels.

[sketchmenot-art]

Tomie - Kill Me Again (Redraw)

Drew Tomie from Junji Ito’s Tomie!

Redrew an old fanart of Tomie I did back in 2017! 🤍

I was inspired by the song Cinderella by Hooverphonic while working on this piece.

Hooverphonic - Cinderella

Done with Clip Studio Paint EX December 2023

[metalmiez]

Happy 1-year anniversary, Good Omens 2 <3

I came late to the Good Omens Fandom. I knew it existed, i knew there was a TV show, but somehow never felt the longing to watch it.

Finally, I watched S1 and S2 in one go in September 2023, after one of my closest friends and work bestie pressured me to. And boy, my life has never been the same since then. Words cannot describe what wonderful things this series, this book and this story brought into my life. It sparked my inspiration like nothing before since my Harry Potter brainrot back in 2007.

I never felt like I really 'belonged' to a fandom before. Never felt like I found 'my people'. Never found my niche in art.

But that has changed on the day I finished watching S2. Something in my mind rewired. I drew my first fanart in December 2023 and it "exploded" - in relation to my previous posts.

I started watching @sendarya 's fantastic Good Omens analysis videos, and joined her Discord server, where I found such a wonderful online community, that motivated me to draw more fanart with their supportive comments and their love.

Then I started reading fanfic (which I never really did before). Directly started with "Are we meant to read the Footnotes?" by @riathedreamer so the stakes were high. And then I started drawing fanart for that fic, and joined the Footnotes server. And from there, it only escalated more. I found a bunch of absolutely wonderful people on this server, who were so supportive, so cool and for the first time in my life I felt like I belonged, really 100% belonged to a group of people <3 People who have the same brainrot as me, people that adore my art so much and motivate me every day to create more. They also motivated me to write again. I finally found joy in writing again, in creating my own fanfictions, written in English (which is not my first language).

I just want to say THANK YOU. I'm so thankful that my friend forced me into this wonderful, marvellous fandom. I'm so thankful for the love, the support and the happiness this fandom gives me. Thank you, @riathedreamer, @hopelesslysleepy, @crowzirawho, @wolvesofdeltora and all the other wonderful people from the Footnotes Server for adopting me and shower me in your love and praise <3 Thank you, my wonderful readers and art admirers <3 You keep me going!

To the world, my dears!

[steddieunderdogfics]

Today is all about @oh-stars! In today's Mod Spotlight, we're highlighting Jo and all they bring to this space!!

Jo created this space back in December and handles most of our regular fic recs and scheduling Fic Fridays! As well as making graphics, scheduling the event announcements and calendar, Jo steps in to help where she's needed!

Jo (she/they) has been a fic writer for over ten years, and a mod for seven years. Over the years, she’s written for other fandoms, such as Marvel, but now primarily focuses on Stranger Things — specifically Steddie. She mods the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang, the Steve Harrington Big Bang, the Eddie Munson Big Bang, and created Steddie Underdog Fics back in December.

As a part of our mod spotlight, Jo answered some questions from you all and our team! You can read them below.

Be sure to stay tuned for more recs and future mod spotlights in the future!

What drew you to Steddie?

Truthfully, I couldn’t tell you. I’m a Steve girlie through and through, have been for years, but it’s something about his dynamic with Eddie that just clicked. It’s the same way I feel about all my major ships over the years. To me, and this isn’t a fresh take by any means cause I know I’ve seen others make the name connection, but Steddie has the same energy as Stucky from Marvel, Buddie from 9-1-1, and Superbat from DC, which are the other three big ships I’ve consistently the past few years. I’m a multishipper, can really see the beauty in other ships and dynamics for any of my fandom characters, but there’s something special about Steddie that I just don’t have the words for.

What is your favorite thing about modding this page?

This is so cheesy, but the community! I adore how everyone supports one another and discovering fics and authors I’ve never come across outside of the bubble I’ve found myself in. It’s such a joy being able to uplift authors and share their fics, it trumps all the headaches that can come with modding a page.

What are your favorite tropes to read?

I’m a sucker for kid fics, secret relationships, and hurt/comfort – especially heavy angst with happy endings.

What’s your guilty pleasure trope?

Omegaverse is the safe answer, lol, but probably darker fics? Angstier fics that I have to be super careful with the tags or else I can’t read lol. It’s not something I engage with all the time, but every now and then I go down the Major Character Death tags.

What is your preferred way to read and find fics?

I go through the tags very methodically, especially for a new fandom. With Steddie, it was a bit different since it’s the first time I’ve been around for the start of a ship – or at least paying attention to the ship as it’s forming. So usually I’ll either sort by date updated or word counts, then go through the tag I’m wanting page by page and read back to back. And if I make it through a whole tag, thats when I go to recs to see if I can find something to spark my interest for a new tag. Or for a tag I’d never really read on my own.

What makes a fic an instant yes for you to read?

Word count is a big one, the longer the better, especially if you add in a slow burn tag with a six digit wc. Otherwise, it’s a combination of things like a high word count, mix of slow burn, misunderstandings, happy endings tags, and it being completed, I’ll rarely hesitate.

Anonymous - Is there any older or lesser-known Steddie event from the past few years that you particularly love (if ongoing or recurring) or loved? Did you participate in any?

I really enjoyed the community over at @steddieholidayexchange (and the summer one). I’ve participated in many events over the years, from Steddie BB 2023 and a few other exchanges to ones I’ve modded like the Stranger Things Reverse BB, but that community was special.

@sidekick-hero - What makes a fanfic stand out for you?

How well rounded it is! With fanfic, I don’t want it to just focus on moving the plot forward all the time. Take the scenic route and let the characters breathe as they explore a number of side quests and plots as we navigate the main plot. Give me good dialogue, prose, interesting twists or interactions, and good character moments and I’ll be happy.

@worldswcollide - What advice would you give to someone who is interested in becoming a mod in the future?

Organization is everything and take notes!! Staying consistent with your organization and keeping records of everything will really help keep everything running smoothly. For events like big bangs and reverse big bangs that happen annually or semi-annually, it’s really important to keep a list of what works and doesn’t to improve the next run. Listen to feedback from your participants and see what you can adapt to make it work. Not all feedback has to be followed, but it’s good to try and see how you can improve your event or space. That’s where the records and notes will also come into play so you don’t have to start from scratch on the next one and you can back up what is working with evidence if you need to defend it within the team. Otherwise, just have fun. Don’t take it too seriously. Modding fan pages and events is volunteer work and meant to be fun, so if it isn’t anymore, don’t let it suck the joy out of fandom for you!

Anonymous - Do you participate in any other fannish activities, like making playlists, gif edits, fanart, podcasts, Pinterest boards, etc?

I’ve definitely dabbled in a lot – playlists, fan edits, fan art, animations, book binding, etc – but none that stick around as much as writing. I spend so much time modding I don’t really have the time to do more outside of it.

@sidekick-hero - What motivates you to mod for steddieunderdogfics?

My team and the continued support we get from our loyal supporters! We see the same names reblogging the call to action posts and engaging with the posts, so it’s really encouraging to see that our work has an impact in the fandom!

@worldswcollide -  Are there skills you’ve learned as a mod that have helped you in your everyday life?

I have literally used my modding experience in job interviews. I frame it as event planning and management, with an emphasis on customer service and organization and usually that’s a great talking point for interviews. That being said, it’s really broadened my spreadsheet abilities and organization and I view teamwork in a different way now. As a burnt out gifted kid who took on the brunt of team projects in school, letting people take over work has always been tough so having a trusted team that shows me I can hand things over, its really refreshing. And now I’ve been able to do the same at work!

Anonymous - Have you had a particular favorite Challenge Monday or weekend theme so far (maybe because of the theme, the recs, or the engagement, or for some other reason)?

Okay so a little BTS, but we totally have handpicked some themes for each mod. For my birthday back, we did kid fics for that theme weekend since it fell on that Sunday since it was my favorite trope – and the same has been extended for the other mods’ birthdays. Outside of that, I really like the ones that I don’t expect to get a lot of submissions. And the comment ones, since we try to encourage those submitting the recs to also leave a comment.

@sidekick-hero - What do you like best about fandom?

I’ve said it a few times already, but community. I don’t have the biggest community outside of fandom, so it’s always touching to see how amazing and supportive everyone has been. Social stuff is tough for me, but no matter where I look in fandom spaces, there’s always someone willing to be patient and kind. It’s really changed my life, introducing me to some of the most incredible, impactful people I’ve ever met like @karadanverss, @sparkstar-trash, and @lady-lostmind -- and so many others. No matter how cringe or whatever opinions people have about fandom, I’ll never be shy about my experiences in fandom and with fanfic because of the people I’ve met over the years.

@worldswcollide - If you absolutely HAD to choose—enemies to lovers or friends to lovers? (At least when it comes to Steddie)

This is actually super easy to me, but friends to lovers all the way. I prefer that over enemies to lovers anyway, because that’s a really tough trope for me, but there’s something special about friends to lovers. I love how sweet and gentle it is, especially on a longer slow burn as things trickle into place in a way that just feels right because it’s meant to be. Enemies to lovers, though, is tricky. Rivals are always fun, but actual enemies is a hard line to toe. For me, I feel like the reason they’re enemies is either too light to be true enemies or too heavy that it’s kind of impossible to realistically get past. I like writing both, but I think in the end, I prefer friends to lovers.

Anonymous - Have you seen any interesting or fascinating trends in the ST or Steddie fandom that you'd like to talk about?

For ST and Steddie specifically, no. I think it’s really fun to see how the fandom shifts as a wave. Like post S4 drop, we were all about the fix-its and canon fics, time loops were massive and the kas theory was really hitting after the last two eps. Then I feel like we’re constantly going in and out of tropes as a whole, while the staples are always constant. But all of that is pretty standard across any fandom so it’s hard to really pinpoint.

@sidekick-hero - What made you create Steddie Underdog Fics?

Steddie Big Bang 2023. That was a monster of a bang and between how big it ended up being as well as the nature of how Steddie exploded, I felt a little helpless. I was super lucky to have gotten a lot of attention on one of my fics, but I really attribute that to timing, length, and how quickly I got it written. Do I think it deserves how much love and attention it got? No, there are so many other amazing works that feature new ideas and concepts, with interesting takes on canon or the characters, that should have just as much attention as that fic received. But the bigger the ship got, the easier it was for fics to slip under the radar. I’m still very lucky to have dedicated readers on my works, but at the time, I was really struggling with my Steddie BB fic. I was struggling with some negativity on it and seeing other authors worry about their own fics because they weren’t getting feedback, then one thing led to another and I was creating the blog before I could really process it.

Anonymous - Have you seen a rec method like it in other places before or was there just a general desire to help highlight things lost in the large growth of the Steddie fandom?

@steddieficfind’s format of crowdsourcing helped shape how I wanted to go about this space. At the time, while I was reading a lot, most of the fics I was reading were ongoing updates or from the same few authors, and a lot were oneshots. So I would go on rec lists and @steddieficfindto find new fics that I may have missed when going through my usual tags, because summaries aren’t always accurate. I know I struggle with my own fics’ summaries, but seeing how a reader sees a fic versus the author can really help bring in new perspectives. Thinking about that, I decided that having other people share their recs and highlight fics in a new light other than the author’s summary could be an interesting take on the rec space.

@sidekick-hero - Do you look for different things in fanfic when you're reading it than when you're writing it?

Oh yes, I’m way more critical about my own fic than the ones I’m reading. With my work, I’m trying to get to a destination while my reading choices are about the journey. I just want to enjoy the fic and see what happens, I’m not criticizing word choice or looking at the craft as a whole. Sometimes its hard to shut that off, but I really try to separate the two.

@worldswcollide - How did you transition from writing fic to taking on such big projects?

I’m a bit of a workaholic when it comes to fandom stuff. I’ll do the bare minimum in my jobs (because they’re super low stakes, let’s be real) so I can devote a lot of energy to writing and modding my events and this page. That being said, I usually hyper focus on the newest project for a minute before I take a more balanced approach. It helps having teams that can support me, especially with ongoing projects like this one. There were so many times where I nearly deleted this space because it got too overwhelming on my own, even as I added more and more to it. I couldn’t be doing this without @spicysix and @verdantcactus. They’re willingness to help, earnest interest, and brilliant ideas on how we can work the space has been a game changer. I can’t thank them enough for taking on this project with me, for continuing to absolutely nail it week after week. So thank you both so very much!!

Anonymous - What is it about Bang events that draws you in, especially as a mod?

It’s addicting. Genuinely. I’ve been doing them for seven years now across a handful of fandoms. Modding is just so fun for me, it helps me engage more with new people in ways I’m too intimidated to try as just a participant. And again, the community is really nice within events, especially with everyone cheering each other on as we hit milestones and deadlines. I really appreciate that support and getting the opportunity to support others to try new things.

@sidekick-hero - What's the best feedback you've ever gotten (could be about your writing or being a mod)?

This is really tough! It’s one of two, both were from my favorite writing professor. It’s more advice than feedback about my work specifically, but it’s something I’m constantly thinking about, especially now when I’m a bit stuck writing wise as a whole. The first is that writing is a muscle, not a talent. You can always improve and get better the more you practice, but in the same vein that it’s harder to lift 50lbs when you don’t lift that much all the time, you can lose it too. Writing a little bit each day, even if it's a sentence or two at a time, will be better than letting it rest, because you can’t edit a blank page. And as long as you’re thinking about the story, playing around with what you’ll do next, what worked in a past scene or you want to change in another, that counts too. It’s still writing even if you’re not getting actual words down. The second is that if you’re blocked, look up the page. The answer is almost always two or three paragraphs before you stopped, or in bigger works, sections ahead. Finding the problem may be harder than expected, but it’s always there.

Today, all of our recs are from @oh-stars specifically! You can always see their recs on our Fic Fridays by checking our #mod stars rec tag.