#i dont write carter but im here now

[horizon-verizon]

you underestimate the power of casting they are the gatekeepers of everything we see and they do their damage unchecked, yes casting certain actor do influence on other stuff like the writing, the costume, im also from Harry Potter fandom and i know a lot of stuff from the costume designer Janny Temime the woman who also did hotd costume, one time she got interview why Hermione dress is pink in the film not periwinkle blue like in the book and she said because the actor FACE look way prettier with pink, she also put a lot much effort dressing up Bellatrix because Helena Bonham Carter is attractive.

Have you ever imagine what this woman thought when she saw a short hair boyist actor on her table and designing what this actor would wore? Have you ever imagine what the writers think when they write their characters? And not to make it awkward because as far as i know from season 1 leaked script this Rhaenyra is different (that beach scene is the cherry on top) they dont even show them kissing her baby daddy who she had three kids with, even in secrets lol, meanwhile Emma want to kiss Mysaria because reasons?

when i mention that they feels proud acting with "skirt" is literally in their season one interview not me.

They dont play a character they just play themself, if they ask a sword why not? Its not worst thing so far, they literally need to spell it out on screen how much they hate jewels and gown.

Anon responds to this post where, I presume, they wrote that ask to me.

I really don't want to research these bts things or continue with the whole Rhaenyra-with-a-sword thing, bc no matter what you or your opposers say anon, I wouldn't have liked Ryan/Sara writing Rhaenyra with a sword bc I distrust how they write women so much that I don't trust them with the "nuance" of female queens using swords as symbols--thus my dislike of seeign it in the pre-S2 features. And though I am not watching S3, I still hold possible that they planned in the past (and are now pivoting away), or that they will try to sneak in, Rhaenyra-as-a-sword-warrior in anyway. If not, that can only be good.

Besides, Hermione's dress bein blue instead of pink never drastically changed the meaning and mood of the scene like how they've totally rewrote Rhaenyra, so...that was unconvincing and extreme. I have also watched HP. We still got the important bit of Hermione coming out not what any character or (some) nonbk readers expected from her, this caring about her appearance and wanting to enjoy flirtations with boys who find her attractive "like other girls". However, with Rhaenyra never really getting primped up except a scene here and there AND her her nonconfrontionality after Viserys dies AND her severe change in personality after epi 5 AND her relationship with Alicent over Laena, Rhaena, Baela, etc really are not equivalent because it toally changed HER as a character.

Ever since the writers decided that Rhaenyra wasn't going to beRhaenyra anymore, THEY were the ones responsible for how that character will turn out. THEY AND PRODUCERS have final say. Blaming Rhaenyra's horrible writing on the fact that her actor is visually gender-nonconforming is going beyond enbyphobia. The costumer has how much power over the character that is being WRITTEN? Who directs the costumer towards a larger vision that they must conform the costume to, who has the final say? Who directs the actor, who does the actor get their following ideas to further realize the PRIOR VISION OF SAID CHARACTER that they get from the script?

Perhaps I do underestimate it and am being a bit narrowminded or pretentious, but neither am I going back to check through the dozens of interviews to check for Emma's hatred for girly stuff to attack Emma's presentation and claims of projection directing the entire plot. And that being what inspired the writers/costumers to make their Rhaenyra not what she is supposed to be. The show doesn't matter that much to me, as I have said multiple times AND regardless of how Emma feels or says, this show had been written even from Milly's time that they wanted Rhaenyra to become les decisive and impacted from her stupid relationship with Alicent. I already noted how sexist they wrote Alicent AND how they tried to convince people this was a viable, true relationship to the detriment of every concievable character close to Rhaenyra. How this ship (other stuff, too, but this ship was a prime mechanism towards it) forever made the subpar characters we see today in the writers hope to be "different".

We really don't need to make it so that the costume designer, looking at Emma's personal preferences, decided or had the greater influence to make Older!Rhaenyra also put down feminine-coded book!Rhaenyra things when the entire character had been botched for the sake of "women-good-bc-nonviolent" thing. The scripts ifrom the start are self evident even without the bts stuff.

What is even wrong with Helena Bonham Carter getting that extra umph when Helena is an attractive woman herself AND Bellatrix Lestrange was CANONICALLY considered very beautiful before she got crazy and still was pretty attractive afterwards? It perfectly fits. She wasn't even that sexualized..or at all? Bellatrix is also very ostentatious both in cruelty AND visual presentation with her curly hair and stark black clothes.

[hawaiianpizzaenjoyer]

Duuuuuuude please make a Peggy gcse headcanon list that sounds so fun!! If you decide to do it too I'd love to be tagged in it!

AAA STOP ILYSM YOUVE LITERALLY GIVEN ME MOTIVATION FOR THIS NOW 🫶🫶

so, without further ado...

PEGGY CARTER GCSE HEADCANONS!!

!! FOR ANY NON-BRITS/PEOPLE WHO DONT KNOW WHAT GCSES ARE, I'VE LINKED A WIKI ARTICLE HERE !!

!! also i know that different schools have different systems for GCSEs, but im just gonna go with what mine did :) !!

SO.

We all know Peggy had to do Maths, both of the Englishes and triple Science, but i feel like she wouldve LOVED English Lit the most. She would've definitely been one of those kids who were like best mates with their English teacher fruity behaviour?. She was also definitely one of the student librarians for her school's library.

~---💬---~

For language, I am a firm believer that Peggy did German and Latin. She probably would've picked German because Michael did (the classic familial language gcse sitch), but i also feel like she would've really liked classics in year 7 and 8 (grades 6 and 7 i think) and decided to stick with it for GCSE. I also think she didn't like French at ALL.

"Why in gods name do I have to memorise the gender of a chair?? Who decided that bloody rubbish??"

(shes so real though ngl, genders are the bane of my existence)

~---🌍---~

Like language, Peggy was probably a double humanities student. She probably did History and Geography, and her favourite topics in each would've been the Tudors for history (she would avidly defend Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard in lessons) and the human side for Geography!! She probably looked at NY as a case study for overpopulation and rapid-rate industrialisation and rolled her eyes, muttering about what sort of madman would willingly stay in a city like that.

~---🔨---~

Lastly, her practical subject. This was a tie for me between PE and Product Design, but I realised I know nothing about GCSE PE (core pe girlies unite), so I'll go with PD for now.

Peggy definitely put her heart and soul into her NEA (non-examination assessment, basically coursework) for Product Design. By the first week, she probably had like a billion sketches done up and had started looking at materials. I feel like her mother didn't like Peggy doing a "man's subject", until Peggy built her a birdhouse that looks like their house and all was forgiven. She definitely met all her NEA deadlines on time, too. Like, she was an academic WEAPON. Even her teacher was scared of her when she was using the saws and that.

~---✏️---~

In terms of overall results, she was definitely one of those people who got all 9's (grade A**), and would probably've cried if she got an 8 (I would be too scared to tell her my results ong 😔)

In terms of A-Levels, I'd have to think about that one ngl, so if this post does well, I might do an pt2!!

~---💕---~

@captainsophiestark thank you sm for the ask and giving me motivation to actually write this out and post it 😭🙏

[dilfwaynes]

i just finished making a wh*re playlist for sharon carter and NOW notice you write for her?! 🥴 pls i need some headcanons for her, she’s too powerful nanfnsnfms

im not caught up on tfatws so this may be a little messy.  listening to @teenwonder ‘s playlist had a huge effect writing this hc. not edited !!

✗ warnings ; smut, dominate/submissive themes, age gap cos milfs >>>

⚢ pairings ; sharon carter x fem!reader

deciding on a 4am whim and an emotional conversation with your friends, you’ve agreed on a summer trip exploring most of asia

you all started the summer trip with east asia and somehow all coming to an agreement of going to clubs in each city

especially elite ones at that

coming near of the trip with southest asia, your friend gets wind of some elite and insane club of hightown, madripoor.

“do you think madripoor is the safest place to be at?”

“stop twisting your panties in a bunch, we’ll be in hightown. perfect opportunity for you end your ‘no sex’ strike

you roll your eyes at your friends words, though it was true. you haven’t had a hookup since the beginning of summer, the only closest thing you got to sex was a bad makeout

she quickly sets a black velevt dress for you, throwing a pair of red bottoms at you

“how the fuck do you expect me to wear louboutins for the entire night?”

she shrugs  “you brought them, besides you won’t be if you find someone to fuck fast.”

you roll your eyes again at her, quickly disregarding your clothes and slipping into the dress. finishing the touches of your makeup

you arrive to the club with slightly shaky legs, grabbing the arm of your other friend for support and heading towards the bar

“five shots of tequila!” your friend rushed out over the loud music

she slides a shot to each of you, you knock back the warm liquor down.

you repeat the action another two times, your body loosening and a buzz settles in fast

“found anyone in your liking yet?”

your eyes stops at the lounge area, your friends voice cutting out as your heed remains on the attentive blonde

she wore black slacks and a matching blouse, her tanned skin glowing in the dim light as she softly laughs at something

you swallow at the sight of her, bringing the drink up to her lips, muttering something.

her eyes suddenly meeting yours as she continues to drink, her gaze lingering downwards on your figure

“i guess that answers my question.” your friend laughs watching the exchange between you and the blonde

“y/n c’mon lets dance!” your other friend quickly grabs you towards the dance floor, you lose the view of the pretty blonde and now met with grinding couples

you still search for the blonde while playfully grinding and dancing with your friend

you dont catch her eye again until shes at the bar waiting for her drink, you bite your lip at watching her

her eyes finds yours once more as she watches you now grind against some man, his hands firmly on your hips though you barely mind it any mind

not when she’s looking at you like that, and especially not when she starts heading right towards you

the guy says about getting you both drinks before disappearing in the coward, you barely acknowledge his leave as you try to find where the blonde disappeared

disappointment fills in at the thought of you assuming she was coming towards you

“you wanted my attention,” the voice murmurs out above your ear and you swear you can literally feel your pussy throbbing. her fingers play with your exposed thighs, your breathe hitching”you’ve got it.”

her hands tugs you closer by your tiny waist, your back flush against her front.

“you wanted me so bad over here, now you’re a mouse?” she husks out, her hand squeezing your hip

you struggle to bite out a response as her lips start gliding against your neck, finding your weak spot almost immediately.

you gasp your head falling against her shoulder, giving her more access. your hand gripping the back of her neck tightly

she creeps her fingers up the hem of your dress, rolling her hips into you

you shut your eyes moaning and already on the edge to beg her to take you

“how about we go back to my place, yeah?” you nod eagerly against her, your dress suddenly clinging tighter to your body than you remember

“be polite sweet girl and let me hear you say please.”

you feel your legs weaken at her words and surely your heels aren’t helping you whatsoever

“please.” you choke out your whole body burning, aching for her touch.

“lets get the fuck out of here.”

she pulls you off the dance floor and out of the club, rushing you into her car

instantly clashing her mouth to yours messily

“it seems like the only way to get a sound out of you is me kissing you,”she starts as she ends the kiss, her fingers lifting up your chin.”let’s see how loud you’ll get with your ass up in the air for me tonight”

and there is it the painfully and aching throbbing, it never left honestly since you first saw her but only gotten worse

“it’s sharon by the way,”she laughs out lightly before continuing”thought a semi introduction will be needed for the night.” she adds on, though theres very much an sexual edge there

you blush muttering out your name as starts up the car

arriving to her place she definitely keeps her words and has you on her bed, ass up and face pushed into the pillows

“you’re already so needy and i barely touched you,”she mocks, her hand pinching your breasts as her fingers dips into you”so whiny.” she amuses again.

proving her point you ended up letting out a long whine at her fingers sinking into you, trying to rock back into her hand.

“be patient baby, i won’t deny you.”

she withdraws her fingers, gathering your slick, she spreads it against the strap

“poor thing, so touch deprived,” she grabs your hips, the strap bumping your entrance”the little boys back home aren’t fucking you like you need?”

you cry out gently as she slowly enters you,  the few inches stretching you out already

yanking your hair she pulls you up against her chest,”i asked you a question, and i’m getting tired of you not replying.” she hisses, shoving the remaining inches into you

“f-fuck, fuck oh my god yes, they dont.” you gasp out at the rush of pain and pleasure consuming you. tears already steaming down your face

“ah, and the whore finally speaks,” sharon chuckles, letting go of your hair and grabbing your throat.”don’t worry, i’ll take care of my little girl tonight.”

she says lowly, kissing your shoulder before incasing her pace. tugging your hips once back to meet her thrust.

angling the cock to hit your gspot with each thrust of her. relishing in all your cries and whines

“fuck shanon ‘m gonna cum, i need to cum.” you cry out, more tears flowing out from pleasure.

the headboard hitting the wall repeatedly sounds out through the room, the sloppiness of her cock ramming in and out of your slick, as well as your moans

“go ahead, cum.”

you whine cumming hard and seeing blots of white, sharon’s grip on you tightening to support your body weight

tucking your hair behind your hair, shushing you quietly at your whining of her pulling out the strap

gently laying you down stripping away the strap she turns back to your  exhausted figure “i wanna sit on your face then you can sleep honey”

[generic-lab-assistant]

Here it is, the man, the myth, the Floridian

I wrote this all at work so sorry if its all summed up terribly i havent written fiction in a long ass time & i mainly write with bullet points & shitty scripts, i was planning to try and make a comic of him so maybe one day thatll happen, plus i might fuck around & make a comic where he enters the carnival and stuff, who knows- anyway since i wrote this at work and have god awful memory, go easy on me

Ralph is sitting in front of his camcorder (or whatever you used to record videos in 1980), after showing off his guns and acting like he knew how to load them, he quickly ran through his Epic Carter Removal Plan.

“Now, ya see, I have this timed bomb- once I press the special button on it then I got ‘round, eh, 15 minutes I think, to jump an’ tackle that sonuva bitch! Then, I’ll just hold him real tight and the bomb’ll go off! I’ll blow that corpse-raisin’ bastard to hell where ‘e belongs and save the damn country- plus, the world!!”

He pauses, then takes in a realization but smiles.

“Course I’ll ‘ave to die too, but itll be known that what i did was good when they get the news from ma’ dad. Ha- he’s gonna be so pumped to know that his son succeeded at somethin’!”

“Now, tomorrow is my big day, so to whoever ends up watchin’ this tape after I go blam, make sure nobody after Carter knocks down any satellites or raises any zombies. Good luck to me.”

He grins and shuts off the recorder.

*The Next Day, Nov 20. 1980: about 12:30 in the afternoon*

A small crowd gathers in Florida, Jimmy Carter is by a podium giving a speech. As he ends and is walking among the crowd (ala George Wallace, what up Bremer), Ralph presses the button on his bomb and begins to weave through the people and towards Carter. Once hes only a few feet away, he looks on with an anime-like sense of determination and sprints the rest of the few feet to Carter- leaping through the air and tackling the president to the concrete- yelling ‘IVE GOT YOU YA SONUVA BITCH!!’- as people yell and scream and two policemen rush to grab Ralph off of him.

As they grab him, his thoughts run theough him in a panic:

“Why’d the bomb not go off?? Why the hell didn’t it go off??!!”

As he is dragged away he yells at the officers- “Goddammit Im rigged to explode! Let me go! Let me the hell go!! Im bout ta blow the fuck up if ya dont let me go dammit!!”

He continues to panic and attempt to get out of the policemens grips, when his bomb timer beeps. With a sharp yell of ‘DAMN YOU ALL-‘ only slightly cut off at the end as the explosive goes off and Ralph & the policemen explode. Blood & bits of gore and miscellaneous bits & pieces rain from the sky and hit those in crowd, several people who were the closest retain a few minor injuries after the incident, but those harmed the most are the two (now dead) pigs, and Ralph, who is almost unrecognizeable as he is now in very many various bloody parts.

His parts are picked up and disposed of after a quick autopsy in a cheap wooden box, not even a coffin. His only relative is his father, who could care less about proper burial. He is only left with a headstone in a Floridian cemetary: ‘Ralph Hewitt Myers

Oct 8. 1949-

Nov. 20. 1980’

[scullysflannel]

i dont understand why first she drags him into the case and then shes like “mulder youre too close to the im leaving you” ??

it’s so CLUNKY!!! I would like to see a movie about mulder and scully venturing back into the monster hunting biz that deals with whether they want “that darkness” in their home in a thoughtful way, but this isn’t it. the fact that scully is the one who pushes mulder to take the case makes it so much harder for the movie to sell what she’s afraid of. not that it’s even trying to. none of his behavior before their fight is even dangerous. scully keeps saying the “darkness” is bad for mulder when all he’s doing is asking people questions. what is scary here? 

and yes scully changing her mind can be explained by her obvious ptsd, but this movie does not know she has ptsd, which you can tell because mulder is written like he doesn’t know it. there’s no way to tell the story of scully reliving what they’ve been through without mulder recognizing it too. he’s been in hiding with her for six years while she was at her lowest. in that context he’s the one being unfair to her. but the fact that she tells him to take the case means she’s now being written as the unfair, irrational one. 

the only way mulder ever acknowledges losing william is in the context of what scully is doing at the hospital, not what he’s doing with the fbi. which kind of leads into a related thought, which is that scully is the one who’s really playing the part of mulder here. she’s taking risks to save a child because she’s projecting william onto christian in the same way mulder projects samantha onto every victim. but mulder has closure now, so he’s less reckless about it. it kills me when she scolds him for seeing samantha in the missing woman. like, yeah! that’s his whole deal!! did she just meet him? it isn’t inherently unhealthy, and she knows that. but it is unhealthy the way she’s doing it.

one of the biggest problems with iwtb is that it reverses mulder and scully’s roles but tries to write them like they’re the same people they’ve always been. mulder is still being treated like he’s the reckless one and scully is the one who keeps him in line, even though that doesn’t line up with how they’re acting. it doesn’t help that going back to the fbi is fundamentally out of character for them. the whole plot depends on not taking either character’s trauma seriously. scully encouraging mulder to go back to work for a government that wanted him dead? she would never. it isn’t fair.

it all comes back to chris carter resisting change. he finally let the story go where it was always leading (mulder and scully on the run) in the finale, but now that they’re back on screen he has to shove them back into their boxes. it’s not really that they haven’t changed in iwtb; it’s that cc can’t accept it, so the script is in conflict with itself. why write scully turning into mulder to channel her grief if you don’t want to take it all the way? I wish the movie had leaned into the role reversal, but it’s telling that the fbi storyline works best after mulder runs off and starts taking risks, because then at least the way they’re acting fits the way they’re being written. skinner comes back (a beacon in the night), scully saves mulder, business as usual. 

but how much more satisfying would it be if they got back to business as usual(-ish) after having a fight that made literally any sense?? after actually talking about everything they have to be afraid of? the fight is so messy; it’s not even clear if it’s a breakup (“I won’t be coming home”... tonight??), but I don’t think that makes it any better. it almost makes it worse. commit to saying something, please! if they’re going to fight, give them a blowout fight about something real.

I keep thinking about scully saying “we are two people who come home at night” and how she doesn’t want to ruin that (a nice line out of context) and then mulder replying that he’s just doing what he’s always done. that’s the fucking tension! their relationship has changed, but chris carter won’t admit that they’ve changed as individuals. how can mulder be the rogue hero of cc’s dreams if he actually grows up? it winds up coming across like mulder and scully’s romance is the opposite of saving lives. (idk what they’re talking about at the end because, again, it’s too vague, but I think “you can either try to save a kid’s life or we can go on a nice vacation” makes cc’s view of their relationship pretty clear. and AGAIN it relies on scully being the one who’s actually spending this whole movie chasing the darkness, not that she or the movie will admit it.)

this got out of hand. the point is that iwtb had a real opportunity to look at how mulder and scully could realistically hunt monsters after everything they’ve been through, and it just wasn’t interested in asking those questions or shaking up the formula at all. of course everyone comes across as out of character. that’s what happens when you don’t let them grow.

[oh-theatre]

Livin’ It Up: Chapter 1

Chapter title: An Abrupt Beginning

A/N: Me ? Hating every single thing I write?? BUT OFC GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH IT SUCKS AHAHA. Im so frustrated, I couldnt get Logans end rant to work and its stupid and I just hate everything i hate this i hate my writing hnnng. Can you believe i took an ok concept and and FUCKED IT UP

words: 2614

summary: Roman throws yet another party, and his only true hope for the night is someone to show up. Patton finds himself disturbed, and Logan needs to stop drinking. 

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, eventual demus, eventual Moceit (Which then goes back to Logicality and Demus)

warnings: Swearing, alcohol, underage drinking, drinking, parties, kissing, throw up

Ao3 Link  

“Thank you, for coming to this party with me” Virgil repeats once more, combing through his hair for the fifteenth time. Patton chuckles from his bed, neatly sitting as he flips through his book, writing down notes in his book. “Have I mentioned thank you?” Virgil jokes, Patton nods, biting his lip as he crosses through a difficult section.

“The golgi apparatus provides transportation-”

“Pat! Shouldn't you be getting ready?” Virgil turns to him, the cheerleader stops chewing the end of his pencil, a sweet smile as he shrugs. He closes his books, stacking them neatly on his shelf, everything organized. Once his homework is tucked away into the right folders and his pencils are safely back in his pencil case he moves to the mirror.

“I'm good to go” He says flopping back to his bed, Virgil scoffs. “Virge, these parties aren't anything formal. As long as you've got your phone, clothes and a swimsuit you're good” Patton assures, Virgil nods sitting on the bed, his shoes lacing as he hums. Patton adds his final bow, putting his boots comfortably on. “Ready?” He questions, Virgil sighs patting his jeans.

“I guess”

~~~

“Hey sorry Cindy you mind if i borrow Logan?” Roman taps on the girls shoulder, she sighs pulling away from Logan's mouth. He waves her off grumpily following Roman into the kitchen. “What's that? Third one tonight?” Roman teases, setting up the snacks

“Fourth” He corrects picking his teeth. “Carter, Fiona, Marty and Cindy” He sits on the stool, stirring his drink, the remaining ice clinking delicately.  Roman wants to push but fears a drunken argument before his gathering so allows Logan to pour himself more of whatever murky drink he had been guzzling down. “Mm, why must we have these soirees” Logan mumbles, spinning around.

“Its a party Logan, i've been attending and hosting them for ages!” Roman argues, he sighs finally finishing his set up. “Look just dont make out with too many people, I don't need a million girls crying at me at the end of the night because they thought you were the one”

“They know im gay right?” He sips, adjusting his glasses.

“Do you know youre gay?” Roman retorts, a glare is his gift in return.  “Why do you do it then?” Roman inquires, moving the pair through the already bustling house.

“Its fun” Logan shrugs, Roman pauses snickering as he carries the chips. “Not fun, but its something to do. Mind numbing and does not require actual intellect” Logan slumps on the couch almost instantly finding himself lip to lip with yet another poor and emotional victim. Roman rolls his eyes walking away from the mess. The door continues to open as more people file in, soon the familiar scent of alcohol and booze fill the air and Roman finds himself taking the tiniest sips from his own drink. With every creak of the door, the slightest hope lights up the man.

Come on

Just walk through the door

Please

~~~

“Do I drink, do I get a drink, what do I do? I got this” Virgil rambles, Patton chuckles, shaking his head. Closing the door behind him he guides Virgil into the kitchen, serving him a club soda. He takes it, almost finishing the entire thing, the sweat dripping his anxiousness for miles. “Thanks, ugh why am i here”

“Because I invited you” Roman chimes in, Virgil practically chokes back his drink, being rescued by Patton. “I'm really glad you're here Virge” Roman smirks, Virgil nods through his ever increasing reddened face. His eyes land on Patton, a slight regret but a neutral respect is shared with a nod.

“Ill be by the pool if you need me” Patton whispers, taking his leave, into the rioting house.

“How are you?” Virgil decides, Roman closes the door behind them chuckling as he closes the distance. “That's not an answer” His nerves seem to calm as his ‘radiant’ sarcasm takes place. Somehow his annoyance for Roman returned, his defenses lifted. “Nice house, mind giving me a tour?” He dances out from the ever closing gap Roman entraps him in, a slight scoff of amusement but the teen obliges.

“Well this is the kitchen, an original model and renovated around 5 years ago” Roman demonstrates, Virgil nods finding it actually quite interesting. A serenity falling over him as he takes this moment to breathe. “Over here is the hallway, leading into an assortment of rooms” He explains, Virgil identifies a name plastered on each. “You've got the bathroom, an office and our library still in its original condition from 1875” He hopes to impress the young teen. Knowing Logan, when he was still fresh, found the room the most enchanting thing.

“And where's your room?” Virgil teases, knowing this apartment was enormous in its own right.

“Upstairs” Roman replies, Virgil bites his tongue. Upstairs, god this apartment was huge. “And downstairs we have the pool and some storage. Nobody really uses the pool to be honest. Mostly people seem to hang out in the living room or-”

“The other living room?” Virgil points as they come into yet another opening, flashing lights, loud screeches and many drunken dancers. Roman and him share an amused laugh.

“Care for a dance?” Roman nudges, Virgil scoffs, taking yet another sip of his drink. Finding the teen to be serious he can't help but allow this to fuel his laughter more.

“Me? Dance? Oh that's not the issue...it's dancing with you..” Virgil carries on, Roman rolls his eyes dragging him onto the floor. Slow but upbeat movements take place and...what's this? Is Virgil having...fun?

~~~

The light splashes and ripples of waves as Patton let his feet dangle felt calming. No part of him missed the chaos upstairs, sure freshman year this kind of thing was at least slightly intriguing. But the parties and the drinking grew tiresome and well...annoying. At least now he knew his way around, no one went near the pool, it restricted them.

So, with his bubbling soda by his side, and his book in hand he just sat. It was almost peaceful, the moon found its way through the window, the muffled sounds of music were present and the water felt cool to the touch, reminding him he was there.

“Are you reading?” A slurred voice requests, Patton squints up watching Logan tumble into the space. His feet repeating a crass and heavy movement.

“Are you tap dancing?” Patton hides his giggle. Logan shrugs dropping what seems to be his hundredth red solo cup of the night. Roman makes it a point to never give him glass ones or anything fancier seeing as his tendency to well...destroy grows heavy.

“Trying to” he continues, practically falling over himself, the pool and him soon to become very familiar. “Why are you reading at a party, it's a party or a social gathering and while reading is generally an enjoyable activity it deems itself unsocial and a bore when surrounded by peers and other things to spark your brain” He rambles, Patton forgot how fast the teen could talk. Logan had not been to debate in awhile. “Captain of the cheerleading squad, I would presume this is exactly your type of event” Logan staggers forward a bit more.

“Observant” Patton mumbles, returning his focus to his book, flipping through the pages happily.

“I mean I did happen to notice some of your team was present” Logan continues, Patton nods.

“Yes, I saw you and Brianna grow very close, I think a spring wedding” Patton jokes, Logan furrows his brows clearly scanning his already jumbled brain for the person in question. “Red head, wearing the green sweater and jeans” Patton reminds, Logan snaps a flash of excitement.

“Ah yes! She was fun, well okay, better than most people I suppose.” He sighs, finally finding himself a ground, he breathes. “I want to swim, so with my capable body and sane mind I shall” He deems, Patton looks up catching Logan as he removes his shirt. Now Patton wasn't invisible and he wasn't one to deny that Logan was well...fit. Hearing the splash as Logan falls into the pool he returns to his book. The water makes a plethora of noises, moving around the pool growing close to Patton. “You're intelligent” Logan pops up, Patton's gaze moves to him. He's closer now, fiddling with the water around him.

“Thank you?” Patton wonders, its random but he thinks its a compliment.

“Straight A’s, you skipped your junior year” Logan lists, Patton knows all this but he hums along, no harm in listening. “Captain of the cheerleading squad, student council president and vice president to the drama cabinet” Logan moves closer, Patton finally understands.

“So this is how you do it?” Patton kicks a tiny bit, the water flicks melting back into the pool. “You root out their accomplishments, find yourself impressed and then suddenly head over heels for you” He laughs, Logan hates the weird sense that floods him as the delicate sound sweeps the room.

“Photographic memory” Logan shrugs, leaning back as his hair washes over, drooping with thick water. He advances, curious as Patton continues to neglect him and read his book. “Im not wrong am i?” Patton shrugs, his eyes averting Logans prominent gaze. “Why dont you get in the pool? Why come down to read and sit with your feet in the water when your body could be submerged, are you so bored?” Logan pushes

“Just here for a friend” Pattons short and quick responses bother Logan, something about their manner itches him. He moves closer, finding himself close enough to feel the warmth upon his tingling skin.

“What, may I ask, are you reading?” Logan inquires, peeking over. He attempts to take the book, the world was his to own, why should this book be any different. Patton pulls away and soon the pair commence in a playful game, Patton tugs his book away as Logan fears no boundaries and continues to close the space between them. Grabbing as fast as he can to try and see what might be so much more interesting then Logan himself. Finally it slows and the pair eyes lock, Pattons arms retire and his body relaxes allowing a mutual agreement to both move closer and lock lips with one another.

He couldn't deny that the hype is not valid, he was a good kisser.

But even with Logan's hands meeting his own, and the perfect way this felt…

This wasn't Patton.

He pulls away, resting his hand on Logan's chest. A tender but bittersweet look to a pouting Logan.

“Sorry Moreno, but I'm not going to be one of those girls or boys” He smirks. The shock runs from Logan's face quickly as he pretends to fall hurt back into the pool. Patton stands finding the clock has run its course, and the night comes to a close. Gathering his things, stepping over Logan's mess, with no looking back he makes his way upstairs.

~~~

“Did you atleast have a bit of fun?” Roman hopes, Virgil and him having reconvened in the kitchen.

“When you were not stepping on my feet?” Virgil teases, pouring himself a much needed glass of water. “Yeah I had fun.” He rests, giving a somewhat anxious Roman a reason to breathe. They seemed to keep their proximity to one another, Virgil leans comfortably on the counter.

“Well good…” Roman whispers, not really paying attention as hes much more focused on the small details placed around Virgil's face. The sweet dimple of his sarcastic smirk, the poorly hidden under bags sleeping below his stormy and ebony eyes. The soft yet controlled way he kissed him-

Hold on…

They pull away both utterly confused by how this night had proceeded.

“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that…” Roman fiddles with Virgil's hand, ignoring the sweat from both.

“Me too” He smiles under his gloom “I think we’re just drunk” Virgil searches for an excuse, he knows the reality. He's been around long enough.

“I'm not drunk, are you?” Romans voice remains soft, Virgil shakes his head. The only drink he had consumed was club soda and water, both becoming aware as they push on his bladder. “I've had a moderate amount of drinks” Roman cant talk apparently, his ability to communicate normally and with his typical charm had clearly left him. Disappointed at his failed attempts.

“I should go” He decides, Patton appearing in the doorway only furthering that choice. Roman pulls away, biting his lip as he nods. “Thanks for inviting me”

“Thanks for coming” He replies, turning to Patton “Both of you” Feeling Virgil slip away, joining Patton. With a timid smile and wave he watches them link arm, rest tired heads and disappear.

~~~

“Are you going to help clean up or sit there and threaten to throw up?” Roman bites, exhausted he organizes and cleans up the remains of his celebration. Logan groans, his head pounding wanting nothing less then to be useless and contain almost zero information.

“He was different, and I don't understand why or how but he was. He was witty and he said no.” Logan begins, Roman yawns knowing what course this was setting him upon. “But I like him and not just I need to win over him but truly like him. I don't like this feeling, but it wasn't a done deal” He speaks, his words making no sense worrying Roman. “I kissed him, kissed him, and I do that. I truly do. I find some brief and fulfilling satisfaction from performing such an action but when he decided against it I felt not..that” Roman nods, processing his vague and ranting words. “Its not that hes cliche and that hes different but it was, he didn't care, this wasnt a game to him or some quick fling or an experimentation it was nothing” He scrambles hard for an explanation, all this thinking hurting his frail state. “I don't know what I feel, I don't understand and I don't enjoy that. I like understanding, I do, I know things, I'm smart, I got it..” This was Romans cue as soon as the self-doubt and irrationality set in, Logan needed to shut down for the evening. “I don't know what I'm talking about, who was it...Patty? Marlene...maybe Connor” he ponders, his trail of thought gone.

“Your fathers coming home tomorrow, we should get you rested and ready for his meeting” Roman reminds, leading a hyper and ranting Logan to his room. He moans as he falls to the bed.

“I loathe the idea of my father returning, I wish not to see him or meet with him. Its the same thing as always, and I don't mind, I've accepted my path but why must I be continued to be reminded of my lack of freedom and set future. I don't care, I have no qualms but to have to constantly be pushed further sparks a rebellious thought in me and I wish-

“I will smother you with my pillow Logan” Roman interjects “Go to sleep, you'll be back to your normal, cold, and uncaring self in the morning” Logan rolls over, clutching to the pillow beside him “Nothing will matter and you'll have become familiar with at least three new people by noon” Roman decides

“Mm...I very much hope you are correct in your predicament” And with his final words Logan falls into a deep sleep. Roman after much cleaning, passes out in his own manner, sprawled on his bed, hating the night and the way it went.

[wolf-stark]

You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

-

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.

[veeranger]

Thoughts on Halo Reach's plot and best to worst noble team members?

you know ive actually been a lot more critical towards reach lately because i think it fails on the biggest thing it advertised: noble team. characters have never really been the strong suit of bungie’s writing (idk who destiny is so dont @ me) and while this isnt usually a major issue, it is an issue when a game wants to sell you on this squad of your teammates it wants you to care about or at least be fond of. ODST and Reach both have a cast of characters that could be really interesting but since halo is a shooter and not really a storytelling kinda game series all they really get are a few lines here and there and some cool moments, nothing really solid or anything to get a glimpse at who they are. maybe thats kinda the point though since spartans are all fucked up broken people like inherently. i dont think thats why bungie did that though

as for reach’s actual plot, i think it works well for what it is, a playable tragedy that tells you the conclusion up front. halo fans who are any level above completely casual knew that reach got completely glassed right before the start of halo ce and the advertising of this was very clear. the fact that you’ve never heard of spartan 3′s or noble team before was a pretty clear indicator of what their fates would be before you even turned on your xbox. the game literally opens with your smashed helmet embedded in the ground as a tombstone to your inevitable heroic sacrifice. reach invokes the same kind of feeling as star wars rogue one, you just know things wont end well for our main characters but you know that their deaths will pave the way for the main series protagonist to eventually win the whole damn thing 3 games/movies from now. 

so even with this in mind you go through reach and you think “wow things are going pretty well, we’re holding out own against the covies and even striking back at key targets” and maybe you forget whats going to happen or you dont and you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. and boy fucking howdy does it drop. jorge dies thinking he just saved reach and as you fall through the atmosphere you realize how hopelessly fucked you are. thats where the game enters its second phase, the “we’re fucked but still fighting” phase, as opposed to the first half of the game where things were still somewhat hopeful. noble six wakes up like a week later to half the planet burning and civilians being slaughtered as they try to evac. the first level of the second half of the game features you busting your ass hard to clear an evac point for civilians only to see them all get shot down and die. its brutal stuff, especially for halo who had never shown the conflict though that lense. 

what follows is a parade of squadmate deaths as your numbers dwindle with every level until its just you and emile, and then just you. unlike in rogue one you actually aren’t immediately told what the key item in this quest is, in this case its cortana, the equivalent to the death star plans in rogue one, the most important thing in the universe since cortana will be the one to slipspace jump to halo 04 and kick off a series of events that will lead to the survival of humanity. but once you get this item suddenly it all makes sense, carter is told this is “what his spartans died for” and to you that means a lot more than it ever would to him. 

reach ends with a profoundly impactful epilogue level where you just. are doomed. you can’t hold out forever and even if you could there’s no rescue coming for you. noble six gave their life to save the universe and never even knew it. the fact that their death isnt a cutscene but you actually yourself have to try to stave off death or just take as many elites with you as you can before they get you, it really adds so much to the impact of the final noble team death. nevermind that six isnt a real character it does work in this case because you’re seeing it from a first person perspective.

so overall my thoughts on reach is that despite the major flaw of not making you care enough about noble team (unless you do, this is my personal view) it does its job very well in portraying the desperate struggle of humanity against a threat that they cannot possibly comprehend or rightfully stand up against, but despite devastating loss the small victories they achieved still ended up mattering in the end. 

now as for noble team i wont do a best to worst but ill give my thoughts on everyone

carter: hardass commander type, not much to say imo. his death scene was his best moment and i wish his relationship with kat had been fleshed out more because it was so so funny to see her pull his strings to get what she wants. you can tell he has the respect of everyone, especially emile. 

kat: the only girl! i actually like cat, im glad they gave her a buzzcut instead of trying to make her sexy or anything even if they did give her that ass in her armor. shes the typical smartass better than you genius character but it works, especially with that accent. i wish i could be friends with her, there was that scene right before she died where she confided in six that this was also her first glassing. her death was kind of shock value to me and i wish she could have at least died with a little more dignity like the rest of noble team but alas :(

jun: probably my least favorite. i cant really remember much of this guy. he’s the only one who got to live and i kind of hate him for that because he was the least interesting of the bunch. 

emile: certainly the most iconic of all the noble spartans. he comes off as sadistic but not a maniac, he listens to carter when he speaks and is on good terms with kat even through his obvious inability to really connect to other people. this is certainly because of the fact that he’s a spartan-3, he’s probably the most “inhuman” of the bunch. i wish his relationship with jorge was given a little more, i liked how despite his pushing jorge early in the game he still mourned his death, and yet refused to carry his dogtags because he knew six was the one who was entrusted with them. his death was very iconic i think everyone remembers that. 

jorge: the big man himself, his death is what set the tone for the second half of the game and was probably pretty impactful to most people playing. i always thought it was interesting that he was a spartan-2 and not a 3 like the rest of noble, i wonder why that was. his relationship with halsey was interesting and it showed that not all spartans hated the devil woman for what she did to them. his defining characteristic was his big heart and that was especially interesting for a spartan-2, that he managed to hold onto something like that through all the shit he probably went through. 

[marvelsangels]

I See The Light (part 2)

@valkyriesryde 400 followers writing challenge

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader. Steve Rogers/Reader.

Warnings: Idk hun depends on you.

Summary: 4 years that's how long you and bucky lasted. 4 years that's how long it took for him to break your heart.

8 Years Ago

Steve Pov

2 years, 2 years thats how long we have been together 2 wonderful years, all pushed to the side,because of the accords.

Bucky,he had to help bucky, bucky was his bestfriend he still considers him his bestfriend, it's a bond no one can break, so when he heard about what happened he had to leave everything behind, he had to sacrifice it all, even Y/n.

Y/n my love, my new beginning.She helped me get back up at my feet when i got defrosted, she helped me with the new technology that i don't understand, she helped me realize i ccould fall inlove again. And i did, i fell inlove.... with her.

She told me she loved me too, and i couldn't be more happier, she told me "i see a future with you', and i told her the same, she told me to stay... to stay and sign the accords.. to stay.. stay with her. And i wanted to, i really did, but i had to help bucky. Bucky my... bestfriend.. and my ex lover's new lover...

Years after our rebellion everything fell in to there right places again, but everything changed, nothing was the same.

I don't blame her for falling inlove with bucky, we both parted ways with a promise to each other. "I understand Steve, if it was nat i would've done the same, i would've fought by her side, im not holding this against you, so you shouldn't hold this against yourself." You looked up at him with a small smile and single tear leaving your eye. "But promise me one thing, promise me this...dont be afraid to fall inlove again, dont be afraid to try and live again, dont let this be a burden in your heart, be free..." She sobbed. I pulled her into my arms tears also leaving my eyes. "I promise." I pulled back and lifted her chin. "But promise me the same." I leaned down and gave her a small kiss of goodbye before I pulled away completely and made my way to the jet, leaving...leaving everything behind, including my...heart.

But i made a promise, and i kept it, i fell inlove, i fell inlove with Sharon Carter. I loved Sharon. Sharon helped me move on from you, she helped me, she helped me return, she convinced me to go back. To make things right.

And i did, i returned, i went back with bucky by my side. And you were there, you were waiting, you were standing outside the compound waiting, you had a small smile in your face, you waved at me, and when i reached you, you hugged me and i hugged you back, i pulled back and introduced you to bucky. Bucky, who already had heart eyes bucky, i saw it, i saw it in his eyes, he fell for you the moment he laid his eyes on you, it was love at first sight, i smiled tho i had an aching heart inside... i smiled, cause you had the same eyes, the same spark in your returned hello, the same spark bucky had. And who was i to stop you? Who was i to say i can't allow it? I had Sharon. Had. I broke it off with Sharon thinking i could get back with you, thinking i still had a chance with you, but i brought my bestfriend back and introduced him to you.

I had no right to stop you from falling inlove again, i did the same, and this was you falling inlove.. but with a different man.

No. No i didn't mope around being all bitter you were with my bestfriend. I was happy. I was happy that he made you happy. I was happy to see you smile again. To see you with your bright eyes again. I was happy. I love you, and seeing you smile made me happy.

But after 4 years of you being happy and proud you had bucky. Then bucky broke you, he let himself fall inlove, fall inlove with someone who wasn't... you.

And it pained me to see you cry, you never were once to make a scene, to show your heart was breaking, to show you feel pain too. No you chose to smile and say you were sorry, you said sorry to bucky, bucky who fell inlove with another woman bucky. That's why after you ran into your room i sped up and in to the kitchen and gave bucky a few punches he deserved.. okay maybe a lot but who's counting? He hurt you, he broke your heart, it's only fair he fights for you, you were bestfriends still after everything that happened. So he did. He fought for you. "How fucking dare you" i seethed. "How dare i what steve? This is between Y/n and i so back the fuck off." He replied calmly, before making his way out of the kitchen and into his room, but halted in tracks when i said. "I let you be buck... i let you fall inlove with the woman i once called mine...how dare you disrespect me... my heart.. by cheating on her like that?... what happened to you buck.." I said quietly. He shook his head. "I still love her steve...i wish i could say i didn't love... Olivia.. but i love her too." He whispered back. He looked up at me and said his last words before he took his jacket and his keys. "I- i- im gonna give her some space." He dragged his boots out the door and went on his way... probably to her..

Present Day

Your Pov

You stood beside steve with your hand in his, just looking over the river. "What a wild life we've had huh?" You chuckled.

He looked down at you smiling. "What a wild life indeed." He squeezed your hand letting you know he's here, he will always be here.

You looked up at him. "How are you really steve?" You smiled. He shook his head and said. "Well im with my missing puzzle piece so I'd say im pretty good?" He laughed.

You couldn't stop yourself from doing the same. Life may have given you both a shit hard time, it separated you, it gave you both heart ache. But it made the both of you grow, grow into something better from who you guys where 8 years ago. Grow so you could continue on now and grow together.. because no matter what happens, puzzle pieces are meant to be together.

So that's what you did. "I love you Steven Grant Rogers." You smiled, a tear falling from your eye. "It's been a while huh?" You chuckled with glossy eyes. Steve tucked a hair behind your ear. "I love you too babydoll." He reached for your tear and wiped it away. He shook his head and stood back extending his hand to you.

"Hello ma'am my name is steve care to have a cup of coffee with me?" He said with a Brooklyn accent and a small smile on his face.

You smiled back. "Why sure thang sugar bun, but you better get me home by 8 or my mama will kill me." You played back.

Laughing to yourselves you made your way to the nearest cafe and started.... you both started a fresh new beginning.

Fin.

-angel 💜

[ghostly-smiles]

So i finally finished the main storyline of fallout 4. Here are my thoughts. And BTW this isnt a criticism and im not being a critic bc i hate critics. These are just my thoughts as I played the game. Some SPOILERS ahead btw even though the games 4 or 5 years old

So I LOVED fallout 4. I know a lot of people hate it and criticise it for its flaws and its definitely got some. The story could be better. Obviously it was reversing the roles of our lovely fallout 3 but it didnt feel quite right. I felt there should have been more to the story than just avenging your spouse and finding your son. Even though Shaun being used as a genetic sheep for the synths was interesting I was hoping it was more related to Nate and Nora (something about family lineage or something to do with Nates military service). I think almost everyone I saw agrees that the story could be better. Nevertheless I still enjoyed it. Another thing is I wish there were more unique quests. I know theres millions of settlement quests from our very own sunshine preston garvey and its a great way to level up or get extra caps (or get the minutemen ending. Which is what i went with my first playthrough.) But part of what made fallout enjoyable to me was the interesting and unique quests even if they werent part of the main story, but had their own story. Whether it be involved in factions or quests you find in the wasteland. Not that fallout 4 doesnt have any of those, just dont have a lot (like New Vegas has an abundance of different quests). And this is also my first playthrough- so im sure i missed some things. Either way I did enjoy most unrelated- story quests. I get that a lot of the game too is building settlements etc and honestly I LOVE that aspect bc I think worldbuilding stuff is so neat but at some point I wish there was just more quests to do. I wish the Karma system was still on there too. Sure it makes it easier to be an asshole and all. But it was a good way to keep yourself aligned. And lastly as everyone says- i wish the dialogue was more unique.

On a different note. My favorite part of the game was the COMPANIONS. I cannot express how much I love the companions. They are so fun to have. Nick (god i love nick), Hancock (I went into this game knowing he was the first i would romance), and Deacon have been my top three. I love the work that went into each design and backstories. I wish they all had a personal quest to complete. Especially Hancock- they could have easily done a quest about his brother. Hell even dogmeat should have a quest. (Rex in new vegas did!). Codsworth too (More should been done with codsworth I feel like. It makes me sad for him.) It would definitelt had more if they each had individual quests yknow. And I love the affinity meter, as well as companion comments in situations (makes me want to hear more.) Bc it just a satisfying element to the game. Another thing I loved was the radio. It had a fantastic soundtrack in this game (i mean they all do but i especially loved diamond citys radio). And Lynda Carter? Never knew she was an amazing singer. I loved the scenery and the concept of the glowing sea. And thank god for animal friend. I admit I didnt like it at first bc having to pacify them first irritared me and sometimes it wouldnt work if companions started shooting them first. But now that they added mirelurks and deathclaws into the list of animal friend helps A LOT. I do genuinely like the new concepts they added into the game. Albeit the commonwealth doesnt feel as unsafe and dangerous to roam like fallout 3 did (I dreaded going out in the wastes in fallout 3 bc of it). Theres more i want to write about what i like/dont like about the game but ive gone on long enough

In a nutshell. I love it. I think its great game to play despite its flaws. Compared to the other fallouts its definitely not the best. It definitely has flaws and could use a little more work. But all the games do. So yeah. When i get extra money im gonna get the dlcs so excited for that.

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hello again ☺️Yes, that would have been really cool! I already read two of your recomnendations and i love them so thank you again for sharing! I can understand you being unsure of your writing but i bet there are people who will love it. Judging from how you answer your asks and how much you love John i have no doubt that i would love it. But if you dont wanna post it anywhere i would completely understand too. (1)

Im glad i came around to like Root cause otherwise it would have been hard to watch season 4 & 5 cause she appears a lot. I think part of it is cause i watched it witch my family and my dad loves her so i started to like her more too (you know who you love sth cause someone else loves it?) and then eventually i liked her to. Shaw i loved from day one and i loved her sibling energy with John. The John and Shaw dynamic was one of my favorites. I love their teasing and their chaotic energy (2)

As for Shoot i think its kinda cool that the writers just went with it cause of the chemistry and i like Shoot a lot. John and Harold would be amazing too (i mean whats better than one queer couple? Two queer couples!) And there are some parallels between the ships so there was room for both of them. Eventhough Harold and Grace is cute too. And i feel John has chemistry with almost everyone (not always romantic chemistry but also platonic chemistry if thats a Thing 😂) and (3)

in Addition to rinch i also really liked John with Zoe. The only one he had zero chemistry with was the theraphist imo. That ship was just weird. I wish they would have used that time for more Rinch scenes instead. -- yes someone who agrees about the happy end! I dont understand people who wish for a sad end. Like John is my fave character ever and i just want him to be happy with his newfound odd family and maybe someday adopt a cute baby with Harold or become an uncle or idk just be happy (4)

But in my Imagination he didnt die and someday he and Harold retired and started their quieter Happy life with Bear. --- yeah poi Reddit loves the later seasons and hates the first and i noticed they can get a bit mean with people who dont agree (thats why i only read and never write anything). Also said you could skip most of S1 which is just sad cause its a great season 😔 i will accept that i lost validity (is this even a Word?) for liking Root 😂 also yea 4x20 is the ep with the carter hallucinations so check it out. But a warning: Root appears :D sorry this ask got so long, but i just love talking to you and i always look forward to your replies :)

Hi !! Happy to see you're back :)

Glad you liked my recs ! I think there's quite an amount of fics with suicidal John out there actually. Not that surprising since it's canon.

I appreciate your support ! In the long run idk if it's healthy for me. Like a few months ago I fell back into ace attorney and I read a lot of fics about Miles being suicidal and it affected me negatively. Sometimes I purposefully seek out suicide fics. And it may not be the most healthy thing to do. So I'm not sure about that fic. Bc I do wanna write it, but idk if it'd be healthy, as catharsis, or unhealthy, as rumination. I mean I've been writing that body horror fic with some projection of my body issues and it's fine. But yeah I'm pretty sure that if I ever finish it I think I'll post it – after all I posted a fic in which John jumped off a bridge a long while ago before I got suicidal (foreshadowing my own life here lmao). I also wanna try to work on my other wips

Yeah I see, that's understandable. Ngl Root makes me not motivated to get to these seasons during my rewatch (which technically wouldn't be a rewatch). It's wild how I feel nothing for Shaw (she do be kinda hot tho,,,, muscles,,,,,) but I think it's mostly bc I wasn't that interested in her back then and it's been so long since I watched the show I don't remember shit about her. She'd be able to grow on me I think. Yeah I've seen a lot of posts about that "mayhem twins" dynamic around here it does sound cool. Also it's refreshing to have a male/female relationship that isn't turned into a forced romance. But I'll always have a soft spot for S1 and its four core characters.

It's nice if they have chemistry, I didn't feel like they did. Yeah I'm still disappointed that they didn't go for Rinch too. I mean come on their chemistry is so painfully obvious ! I dislike the word queer but mood pls just give me canon Rinch I'm fucking begging hhhhhhh. I'm quite sure the notion of chemistry works with non romantic relationships as well. John is definitely good with people. He looks scary and brooding but he's just a good man who wants to help people ! I love him so much and same he's my fav character of all time !! Also I love seeing him interact with kids he's so good with them. But I also love when he's being an absolute badass. Damn I always forget about Grace gkjdfkjfd I don't have anything against her though, Harold and her are cute together. (Not much into the grace/harold/john OT3 tho, I've seen it around after return 0 but :/ not my thing. But hey good for people who like it.)

I liked John and Zoe too. Even if he had chemistry with Iris it's so cringe, didn't think poi would fall as low as portraying such a relationship between a therapist and a patient. Guess that shows the decrease in quality in the later seasons. Sad they did that shit when as you said they could have showed more Rinch. Like come ooon Rinch is just. Right fucking here. Just make it canon you cowards.

Yeah fuck sad endings (John didn't die obviously) I want my men to be happy and in love and live a good life together with their dog is that too much to ask. Like sometimes I read fics with MCD bc why not but most of the time I just want happiness. Fluffy domestic Rinch is so good ! Gives me so much life. I have a soft spot for married Rinch as well. Also while we're at it let me rec this domestic fluff fic:

Yeah not surprised. And you're right don't waste your time arguing on reddit lol it's not worth it. It baffles me when people say S1 is boring like ??? Where ?? There's literally soooo many eps I love in this season !! 📣📣📣number crunch is the best ep📣📣📣 Glad they stay over on reddit with their last seasons and their shit opinions about S1 smh. Like imagine being a fan of a show and disregarding the season that created the basis of the show and developed characters and relationships. Big brain time uh

I'm quite sure validity is an actual word, and that's how it be if you like root :/ I don't make the rules :/ you're the half valid anon now 😂

Oh well I shall endure root if it's a good ep ^^

It's cool !! I love your long asks !! I hope I didn't get lost in my own reply lmao

[deliasbabe]

3,6,7,11,12,13,15,16,19,21,22, and 40 for the thing about timing plz

Disclaimer: My deepest apologies I am answering these very stoned.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

OC’s all the way because im a slut for character building. Reader inserts are fun and I do enjoy them, but I really love having complete creative control over a character down to their name and favorite color.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

I don’t have a full story that I want to delete, but I do really want to redo the beginning of TTAT. It was my first fic and I had zero clue what I was doing and I literally cant even stand to read it now. It is cool to see how far I’ve come tho.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

the dead of night. I’m all about posting stories at 4am because I have zero self control, its kind of my brand.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Yes, when I first started writing I put two characters dialogs in the same paragraph and it was a NIGHTMARE to read. Someone pointed it out and I changed it for the next chapter.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Cordelia. She’s the one character where I never worry about deviating too much from canon because we had such a range to work with from S3 and S8. Venable has also grown on me, although I was scared shitless to write for her because she was so one dimensional in the show (aka they didnt give her enough screentime).

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Bette and Dot. I didnt really like them to begin with and I havent seen all of freak show, so I dont write for them if i can help it. Lana is also a hard one for me to write because I dont think I can do her justice.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

For Elliott, I really wanted a name that was more masculine yet would still be something Cordelia would pick, since she had a connection to the name choice. I almost called her Carter, but Elliott seemed more delicate and more Cordelia, and the nicknames were endless.

For Lily, I knew I wanted her to go by a nickname, and I really wanted her full name to kind of replicate her duality (Lily is soft but Lillian is a tough cookie)? I had two coworkers named Lily and Lillian, and they were total opposites, so I had kind of a lightbulb moment that happened to tie in with the flower theme of the story. 

If you can’t tell, me picking a name takes forever and I put way too much thought into it.

16) How did you come up with the idea for The Thing About Timing?

So I’ve had the idea since I first saw s3 in 2014. I just really wanted more than one season of it and I was real fucking mad Cordelia never got her damn kid. I sat on it for a while and slowly realized I had a whole concept by the time S8 began airing, so I said fuck it we writing today.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Well, I already have 22 chapters worth of outlines for the sequel to TTAT even tho the first book has no end in sight. I have some outlines for sequels to my venable kid fic, but idk if I’ll actually continue it and make it into a full story.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

In no particular order:

@shineestark- BILLIE. AND. AUDREY.  A masterpiece, truly.  I love everything they write.

@grilledcheeseandguavajelly- Has zero flaws. Their writing is perfect and incredible and I wish I could write like that. Also, Lilac Venable.

@duchessfics- Love that they put so much thought into the plot of a story, even if it’s “just smut”. Billie is so on point it hurts.

@lourdsbitch- Doubt is a masterpiece and you can’t change my mind. Also smut is 10/10.

There’s so many more that im forgetting but I love so many writers on here I’m the biggest fangirl.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Like the first 10 chapters of TTAT. Terrible, I can’t believe I had the confidence to put that shit out in public.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

My immediate family, my bf and friends know, but I’ve never let them read it, and I don’t really talk about it with them. I’m weird about my writing and I hate when people I know read it. Cringe city.

[astrozones]

Sanders Behavioral Health, Chapter 3: Patton Will Help!

Angst Incoming

My discord server if you wanna scream at me- Astro’s Zone

my friends are lovingly cyberbullying me into tagging the man himself so uh @thatsthat24 and ope there goes my anxiety, rising up into the heavens. If you do see this I recommend reading from chapter one but im not gonna tag again unless my friends tell me to bc i dont wanna be a bother :|

Three hours.

Three hours until school ended for the day and Patton would go home for 5 minutes before heading to Sanders’.

Until then, he had to brave the school day. Patton was okay at school, but had a nasty habit of not saying no to any request, and his time between classes was spent doing favors for others. His time for lunch was limited, and his weekends were booked full. It took a toll on Patton, but he’d do anything to make others happy!

After all, others’ happiness was more important than his own.

His therapist had disagreed, which is why he was transferred to Sanders Behavioral Health. And at Sanders they said the same. Why couldn’t they understand that Patton wasn’t worthy of being happy? He didn’t do as much as he could, as much as he should , and he was a bad person.

Like that one time he had noticed a kid sitting in the seat beside him, his name was Todd, looking at his paper during a test. Patton had glanced at the teacher before nudging his paper closer to Todd, and filling out the rest. Once he noticed Todd had finished, he turned it in.

But he had gotten some of the answers wrong . Todd had been counting on him but Patton failed him, and now Todd was grounded for getting a mediocre grade.

And it was all Patton’s fault.

He tried to apologize to Todd, but had been shrugged off, Todd saying, “Eh, you don’t need to man. It was my fault for not studying.”

Todd must hate him.

The bell rang, signalling him to rush to his next class. Well, “class”. It was time for lunch.

Patton grabbed his items as quickly as he could, shoving them into his backpack. He felt guilty for zoning out in class, but the teacher was already on her computer and he didn’t want to disturb her. Once he had stuffed today’s worksheet into his bag, he slipped out, last to leave the room.

Patton held the lunch tray in his hands, looking for a place to sit. No one had asked for his lunch time yet, so he expected someone to call out to him, which was what usually happened these periods.

What he wasn’t expecting was to be cornered.

The edge of a table pierced his back as he was suddenly faced with none other than President of the Student Council (and Tennis Team), Vanessa E. Cordill. He had stumbled back, and quickly shoved his tray on the table behind him, knowing how close Vanessa liked to get to people.

“Hey, Pat! I was wondering if you could help us with preparations this weekend for next week’s volleyball game?” She batted her eyelashes at him, stepping impossibly closer.

“I-uh, I’m really sorry Vanessa, but I’m all booked this weekend.”

“Surely you could make time for me, yeah? Aren’t I your favorite?” Vanessa said sweetly. His favorite? He didn’t have a favorite, that would be unfair to the others! Patton, of course, wouldn’t say that to her, lest he hurt her feelings.

“I’m sorry, I really don’t have time! I’m doing a lot of things this weekend and don’t have any room. I barely have time to sleep and-” he was cut off as Vanessa drew a finger down his chest. “W-what are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” She purred, winking at him. Get off, get off, geT OFF-

“He already said no, Vanessa Cordill.” Came a voice from behind. Turning his head, he saw none other than Logan Danrow seated at the table he had run into. Vanessa backed up a few steps, glaring.

“Logan?” Patton asked, shuffling towards him so he was farther away from her .

“Wait, Pat, you know this prick?” Vanessa spat, very different from the person he had been talking with moments prior. He nodded.

“Well, yeah, we know each other from- er, yeah we know each other.” he stammered out, hands fiddling with his bracelets. It was getting harder to breathe.

“Again, Vanessa, he already said he was busy. You may leave, lest your boyfriend sees you.” Logan stated flatly, gaze returning to his book. Glancing back towards Vanessa, she pulled a small notepad out of her purse and scribbled something on it, handing it to him once she had ripped it out.

“Just in case you change your mind,” Was all she said before turning around and skipping back to her table to hang with her tennis friends.

Logan turned a page as Patton sat down across from him. Logan glanced back up at him in surprise.

“You want to sit here?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “I was under the impression that you wished to sit with your friends.”

“Aw, but Logan you are one of my friends!” Patton grinned, grabbing his previously abandoned tray. “Plus, it seems no one needs my help, so until they do, I’m here! I do feel guilty, though…”

“What do you feel guilty about? I’m afraid I do not understand.” Logan stated, setting his book down.

“It’s just… I’m sure I could’ve fit Vanessa’s activity somewhere in my schedule…” he bit the inside of his cheek. “If I just cut my study time by an hour I could have fit her in, y’know?” He fiddled with the stem on his apple, breaking it off with a wince. “I probably could still tell her, actually!”

“No,” Logan said when he went to stand up. “You should not cut your study time to help someone who has enough help. Your grades are important. Vanessa will be fine.”

Patton slumped back into his seat, chewing on his lip. “I suppose… I just… I want to help people. They’re counting on me.” he wiped at a tear threatening to fall. Logan tapped his fingers against the table.

“Patton,” he started. “How often do you help people?”

“Not enough,” Patton admitted with a hiccup. “Most of my weekend is booked, but I’m sure I could do more if I moved things around. I’m sorry for invading your time, Logan, I’ll leave if you want me to.”

“Nonsense,” Logan waved his hand through the air. “I wasn’t doing much anyway. You know, most people don’t even do half the things you put yourself up for. Do you spend all your free time for others?” At Patton’s nod, he continued. “I recommend taking a weekend for yourself, at the very least.”

“I don’t know, mayb-”

“HEY PATTON! Can you help us?” a member of the Drama Club, Canin, yelled from across the cafeteria, jogging over to him. “Auditions are coming in a couple weeks and we need help choosing a musical to do!” Canin begged. Patton spared an apologetic glance at Logan before following after Canin.

--

In the final period of the day, the class was told to fill out a worksheet on the periodic table using stations around the room. They were separated into teams of three, Patton’s teammates being Angelica Carter and Skye Johnson. Once they were sent to a station, all three got to work. Well, Skye and Patton did.

Skye was especially smart at science, telling him their dream job was to become an astronomer one day, and to be the first nonbinary person in space. Patton told them that their name was fitting, which caused Skye to burst into giggles.

Angelica, on the other hand, wouldn’t do anything. Once Skye confronted her on it, she claimed that she couldn’t do anything because she didn’t have a pen or pencil.

Just as Patton was about to offer her a pen, he was struck by the memory of himself offering a pen to Virgil on his first day.

Whenever he offered a pen or pencil to others, he almost never got it back, and this was the same situation with Virgil.

Patton had finished filling out his paper, and once he glanced at Virgil the first thing he noticed was the pen in his hands. Patton had wanted so bad to ask for it back, since it was his second-to-last one. But he hadn’t said anything.

And now he was here, feeling guilty that we couldn’t give Angelica a writing utensil. God , this was just not his day, huh? First he couldn’t help Vanessa, then he couldn’t help the Drama Club choose between Little Shop of Horrors and Hairspray, and now didn’t even have a simple pen for Angelica. He was such a failure .

“Maybe the teacher has something?” He offered, Skye returning to the project. Angelica shrugged and walked over to Ms. Alstor.

And even when Angelica had returned, she didn’t help. At all. All Skye did was roll their eyes and mumble under their breath.

Patton didn’t say anything.

All three got an A.

--

Patton arrived late to Sanders’, again . He had gotten caught up once Jasmine Illes, Vice President of the Student Council, tried to convince him to help out with the volleyball event. He had just barely gotten away with his established schedule intact.

He bursted into the lobby, signing in before Katrine, the one in charge of the front desk, let him in while informing him that the group should still be in the check-in room. He rushed in, Virgil and Logan looking up at him when he entered. Roman was spinning around in his chair, but quickly stopped to greet Patton.

“Sorry I’m late! I got caught up because this girl from school, Jasmine, asked me if I could do something with the Student Council on the weekend.” he quickly announced, taking a deep breath soon after. He grabbed a sheet before plopping down in the nearest chair, taking a few moments to catch his breath.

“Jasmine Illes?” Roman asked. “I know her.” Patton raised an eyebrow.

“You go to Fieldrow? Haven’t seen you there.” Patton said, scribbling out answers.

“Oh, yeah, I just… don’t have the opportunity to go there often.” he replied, looking at the ground awkwardly. Patton was about to say something when Virgil spoke up.

“Yeah, I go there, too,” he muttered, Logan piping up in agreement.

“Aw cool! It’s still the beginning of the school year, maybe we could all join a club that meets on the weekends so we can hang out more!” Patton grinned, looking around at the others.

“I’m not very interested in joining clubs,” Logan started. “I would consider it if it were the Science or Math clubs, but neither of them meet on the weekends.”

“And I don’t really… do clubs. At all.” Virgil continued. Patton let out a small ‘aw’ before turning to Roman.

“What ‘bout you, Roman?” he asked, not acknowledging Logan’s small flinch at the bad grammar.

“Well… I suppose I was thinking about joining the Drama Club… I’m just not sure if it’d work with… me” Roman shook his head. “I’ll decide once they pick a musical.”

Virgil snorted, which caused Roman to let out an indignant ‘wha- hey!’.

“Y’know, I don’t know why I didn’t peg you for a theater nerd earlier, Ro’. It makes perfect sense.” was all Virgil said before Becca quieted them down and told them to start sharing their answers.

--

Once inside the therapy’s cafeteria, Patton was confronted by Charlie.

“Hey, Patton! I have a new exposure for you.” she greeted. “You ready?”

“Um, hold on-” Patton flipped through his binder, before landing on the page he wanted. He whipped out his pen, and continued. “Yep!”

“Alright, this one’s pretty simple but fits what we’re working on with you! All you need to do is ask a staff to borrow a pen and not return it by the end of the day.” Patton stared at her with wide eyes. His life seemed to be revolving around pens, recently, wasn’t it?

“Do I… do I get to return them next week? Cause, y’know… it’s Friday.” he asked, fiddling with his bracelets. Charlie shook her head.

“It’s better not to. Because, in the future, if you accidentally steal a pen from someone, we don’t want you to freak out much. So it’s better to fight that feeling by keeping them!” she smiled. “I know you’ll do great, Patton.”

Patton scribbled it down in his binder reluctantly. He really did want to refuse the exposure, but that would make Charlie disappointed in him, which would make her feel bad. And Patton hated making other people feel bad. So, discomfort it was.

--

Patton found himself in front of the two other counselors’, Harley and Ramona’s, office. Peeking through the window he saw that only Harley was present. He knocked on the door before walking in.

“Hey, Patton,” She greeted. “Whatcha need?”

Patton put on his default smile. Act happy, not stressed, he told himself.

“Heyo Harley! I was just wondering if I could borrow a pen?”

--

After 9 minutes, he had cycled through Becca, Katrine, Ramona, and Vicki. He figured it would be pretty stupid of himself to ask Charlie, so he had to start back at the beginning. Oh dear, what am I supposed to say?

He didn’t have much time to mull it over before Virgil skidded to a stop in front of him. He barely had time to greet him before Virgil was huffing out a response.

“Hey… Patton… sorry one second… gotta catch my breath…” he panted. Patton smiled at him.

“M’kay… This is stupid now that I think of it, but I’m just… Exposures really stress me out, and I have this one where I’m supposed to knock on a staff’s door and just… leave before they can open it.” Virgil started, curling into his hoodie.

“What’s the problem?” Patton prompted when Virgil stayed silent.

“It’s just… really anxiety provoking and- ugh y’know what, it really is stupid, I’ll leave-” Patton grabbed his arm before he could run off. Virgil stilled.

“Virgil! It’s not stupid, Sanders’ can take a lot to get used to. Roman was stressed on his first exposure day, too! Now, I know it’s not your first day, but it still counts! It’ll take a bit to get used to, but it helps in the end!” Patton smiled. “Wanna hug?”

“Erm, no thanks, physical contact scares me. But, ah, thank you. That… helped.” Virgil gave him a small, awkward smile. Patton cherished it. “I am a bit confused, though,” he continued. “It’s about Roman. He said something about my first day being his second proper day, and I was wondering how long he’s been here? Sorry if that was confusing.”

“Don’t worry, I know what you meant. Roman’s first day was Monday, and he started exposures on Tuesday, I think. And then on Wednesday, you came!” Virgil nodded at this, seeming satisfied.

“Now go on!” Patton prompted, gesturing to the staff hallway. “You’ll do great!”

--

Patton walked into his house, pulling out his phone almost immedietly. He had a plan.

-

Therapy pals!!

{ Patton }  { Heyo!! I made a group chat for us all !!! }

{ Is everyone excited for the weekend?? I am!! }

| Virgil |  | ah, weekends. my favorite days of the week to hate myself |

{ VIRGIL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! }

| lmao |

( Logan )  ( My weekends are spent studying, I’m impartial to them. )

[ Roman ]  [ Uhhh youre Logan right? Dont have you saved on my phone yet ]

( *you’re *Don’t )

[ Yup thats Logan ]

( I don’jehgfvurkghds )

| wait what |

[ Holy shit ]

{ Roman, language!!! }

{ And are you okay logan!?!?!? }

[ Santa mierda ]

| what? |

( I apologize, I was walking and a dog ran in front of me, causing me to trip. I am okay. And, Roman, is that Spanish? )

{ OH THANK GOD!!!! }

[ Yea it’s Spanish ]

{ Did you get a picture of the dog???????? }

( I was not aware you spoke another language, Roman. I suppose that makes sense, since you are so bad at English. And no, I did not get a picture of the dog, it ran off rather quickly after I tripped. )

[ HEY ]

{ Aw!! Well at least you’re okay!!! }

| i’m gonna put roman’s spanish thru google translate hold up |

[ Wait no ]

( Please use capital letters, Virgil. Plus, it’s spelled through. )

| ajsjfisdkf |

| patton |

| patton |

{ Oh no!! Is something wrong??? }

| no just uh |

| pls put roman’s spanish thru google translate |

( I cannot believe you. )

{ Alright… }

( Do you exist just to insult the English language? )

[ oh nooo my phones about to die ahhh ]

| nice try roman |

{ ROMAN!!!! Don’t swear, even in other languages! >:( }

[ Hey Virgil, i gotta tell you something ]

[ i hate u ]

| who doesnt |

{ Hate is a strong word, Roman. }

[ i know ]

{ VIRGIL NO!!!!!! I LOVE YOU LIKE A SON!!!!!!!!!!!!! D: }

| did i just get adopted |

( It’s not adoption if it’s not in a legal document. )

{ YES YOU DID MY DARK STRANGE SON!!!!!!! ILY!!!! }

( Oh. )

[ Logan should be the mom ]

[ I’ll be the strange uncle who you only see once a year but might be a government spy ]

( What? )

| nah roman you’re like the kid next door |

[ Thanks..? ]

[ Wait did i just get kicked out of the family ]

( I’m afraid I don’t understand how I could be a mother, not even mentioning how Patton, Virgil, and I could even be a family. )

[ I cant believe i got kicked out of the family ]

{ Don’t worry, it’s a metaphorical family Logan!!! }

[ What did i do to deserve this ]

( But how am I a mother? )

( Is anyone going to respond? )

--

//  Private Conversation between Roman and Virgil  \\

[ I don’t hate you, by the way. ]

[ Like in all seriousness. ]

| lol don’t worry man i got that from the lack of good spelling and no capital letter |

| coz you don’t type like that usually |

[ Oh, good. I was hoping by doing that I wouldn’t come across as serious. ]

| yea |

| so uhhhhhhhh |

| hold on gotta think of somethin to say so this isn’t awkward |

| what musicals do you like? |

[ Congrats Virgil!! You just unlocked an hours long conversation ]

| wait no |

| eh nvm i wasnt doing anything tonight anyway |

[ Kay so im gonna start off with the popular ones ofc! ]

-- --

Patton smiled as he looked over the conversation they all had. Because no matter what happened at therapy, by the end he knew he’d still have his new friends. He giggled to himself, feeling giddy. This was so exciting!

He glanced at the groupchat’s name, which at the moment was simply ‘ Therapy pals!! ’, a spur of the moment decision by Patton. He bit his lip as he thought it over.

Patton changed the name of the group to FamILY!     -

Patton smiled even wider than before. Tomorrow was bound to be a good day.

He was sure of it.

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 4 episode 1

"SMALL VICTORIES"

Notes by me

- PREVIOUSLY - replicators are the enemy of the asgard (they are just robot bugs), sg1 thwarted their plan to invade earth by blowing shit up as usual, they took my stargate and blew that up too!!! Can you believe??? r00d, one of them lived also!!!, and Daniel is at the sgc wondering why he even works here

- a submarine....giving me more primeval vibes

- Oh Russians??? Comrade

- this would be alot better if the subtitles worked. "Speaking russian" that doesnt help me

- the theme sequence has not changed in the slightest in 4 seasons

- Oh daniels hip scar????? 👀

- did micheal shanks actually get his appendix removed?

- Daniel running into people while still recovering from surgery "sorry!....ow"

- WELCOME HOME MY KIDS!!!

- they were out there, lost, for weeks and tealc thought it was an ideal time to grow a goatee

- also ????? Sam's hair?????? Excuse me ma'am you could not get any hotter

- "permission to shower, granted. In fact I insist on it, colonel." HAMMOND SAID YOU STINKY

- sg1 bringing their putrid fumes back to work

- Jack still wants Sam to go fishing with him 💜💜

- the way Jack pronounces deja vu is EXTREMELY uncomfortable

- blowing up the reps is not an option these things cant be killed

- THOR 👽

- "you say you need someone dumber than you are?" Aldbsjd who writes this show

- "I dont know carter you might not be dumb enough" point

- the asgard can activate the gate without dialing!! SO COOL

- thors got some cheeks on him 🍑

- thors city is HUGE it looks like courausant

- the asgard naming the ship The O'Niell

- thor: if you cant help us we will all die

Sam: O.O

- I LOVE this submarine set

- Daniel watching from the sgc post . my poor boy has to stay on the side lines :(

- the replicators were like you know what kind of upgrade I need??? A new color

- the noise they make is making my brain hurt

- OKAY GIANT ROBOT BUG POOPING OUT SMALLER ROBOT BUGS

- a queen???? Arent they robots???? Why do they need a queen when they all can replicate????????

- submarines are NOT this roomy I am speaking from experience

- sam asking thor if two pieces of the reps can replicate on their own while simultaneously trying to avoid telling him that she kept two pieces of the reps

- btw who invented these things???? Did they already say I dont remember

- thor sharing his favorite food with Sam and she spits it out. Never a more awkward moment

- ok so the reps eat their surrounding and then BECOME what they eat?

- the mother bug is from the asgard ship

- "could we not create a diversion?" See this is why tealc should always make the plans!!!

- meanwhile Sam is just stating facts about the reps and thor is just silently asking himself why he asked them for help

- Daniel so worried about tealc and Jack 💞💞💞💞

- ok thor you wanted a dumb idea and now you dont want to risk it???? Make up your damn mind

- "its a really stupid idea but isnt that why im here?" EXACTLY

- Jack taking his helmet off to tell Daniel to blow up the sub :( "Daniel please!"

- why is Jack always willing to sacrifice himself i hate it here!!!

- when sams plans work I fall a little more in love with her

- "it was your stupid idea, major carter" AJEJEISNDNRJRRNSKS 💗💗💗

- daniels face when he says "ok...ok"

- BEAMED!

- "the-the-the-the-the!!.........THE!! THEIR OK!!"

Daniel sit down before you hurt yourself

- "NOW THATS TIMING!"

- sam telling Jack about his ship and then immediately having to say she blew it up

- thor is gonna help with the goauld!!! Not now but soon

- "my galaxy" I keep forgetting he lives in another galaxy

- "you ever need another dumb idea, you know where to find me"

- moral of the story : no one wants to go fishing with Jack

~

Whump under the cut

Tealc whump: attacked, back wound, in field care, (no noises, no pained faces)

Daniel Jackson whump: hospital check up for appendix removal, visible hip scar

Jack oniell: bonus Jack getting attacked and angst (lasts less than a minute)

[happinessinthedarkest-times]

avengers endgame reaction (spoilers!!!)

**if youre on mobile scroll fast bc idk if the keep reading works

holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck

i am an emotional wreak right now

ahhhhh it was so good im crying still

tony fucking stark my heart i guess ill start there 

tony stark i love you three thousand. he got his happy ending with morgan and pepper for 5 years they had 5 years together and he knew that the time heist (lol) would jeopardize that and he still went and helped

that scene where he had it out with steve at the beginning fuck my heart was breaking and i was crying .

i cried a lot in this movie. legit sobbing when nat died but ill get to that

that scene was everything i wanted it to be and perfectly executed. of course hes angry and lashing out because they were supposed to do it together and lose together and the emotion behind that ughh rdj killed it

he literally hands steve his heart the arch reactor

tony and howard ugh everything with them together. tony got closure with his dad 

everything tony was great. 

steve 

he got his happy ending. he got his dance with peggy (now im crying again) fuck. and he PICK UP MJOLNIR omg that scene was amazing and everything i never dreamed could happen when the hammer started moving ughhhh omg i was cheering so loud in the theatre and i dont normally do that. that whole scene ugh theres so much to react to

and he got to say assemble. 

ok now from the beginning. 

i started to cry literally before it even started. the screen was black and i was already tearing up but when clint and his daughter came up and then his family disappeared i was full on crying.

carol coming in clutch and saving tony and nebula yessss

steve and tony’s conversation right when he gets off the ship was everything i wanted it to be. (crying again) everything. 

when they go to thanos’s house thing and thor chops off his arm . its what ive been saying they shouldve done on titan 

and then he went for the head! 

five....... 

years later

fuck them. literally when the ‘five’ came up i was like no no no dont you dare do it dont you dare and then they did it. fuck them

five fucking years?!?! they made them live through 5 years of that trauma?!?!? 

nat was everything in this film. she became the leader and keeping track of everything and her moment of breaking down was just so human. she couldnt move on in those 5 years and it just shows how much the avengers had become her family. 

scott and cassie omg cassie all grown up made me so emotional 

tony and morgan i love you three thousand she is the cutest and sweetest thing 

tony fucking stark figured out time travel. he did that. 

when tony gives steve his shield back my heart could not take it

the scenes where they were trying to pinpoint the exact time to go back and it was like a sleepover sesh and all the domestic avenger fanfics 

going back a little bit

clint killing all the people that should have been killed and deserved to be killed and being a total badass showing up all those people who said he was just really good with an arrow and every scene he has with nat.

‘dont give me hope’

thor. oh where to start. he really did lose everything and he was blaming himself for all that happened so i get where hes coming from. every time you could see him remembering and tormenting himself about what happened broke me. his scene with his mother (crying again)

also hulk/bruce was an interesting choice (not a huge fan of it but ok) 

the time traveling

everything about the new york scenes were amazing. the aftermath of the end of the avengers, loki turning into cap for a second, seeing rumlow and sitwell come out, steve getting into the elevator and channeling that winter soldier energy (i was slapping my sister on the arm so hard at this part) hail hydra and outsmarting them all. cap fighting cap “i can do this all day” lmao i was dying ‘bucky is alive” again dying they really nailed it with this. i was worried beforehand because like it would change how we would see the og avengers but i still think it works

also can talk about how tony (and scott) was checking out steves ass????

“i forgot how that suit did nothing for you ass” (be still my heart) “i like to think of it at america’s ass” (or whatever the line was) 

loki getting away with the tesseract (is that in this timeline im confused about that hopefully someone will explain bc does that mean loki is alive in this timeline or not? lol)

them going back to the 1970s (do you trust me? i do) and tony meeting howard and introducing himself as howard potts. again i know i talked about howard and tony already but i loved their scenes. and JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER MAKING AN APPEARANCE OMG

PEGGYYYYYYY (crying) when steve walked into her office (grabbed my sister again) and when he was watching her through the window and you could feel his pain. 

thor and rocket are the pairing that i never imagined but amazing none the less. i loved that we got the return of mjolnir here even though idk what that does to the timeline (again who knows at this point) 

rhodey and nebula again another pairing i didnt expect but are great together. everything about nebula in this film. she really has a great arch. i was stressing out so hard when the alternate timeline thanos found out that they came from the past. the scene where peter quill is dancing and singing to no music was great.

clint and natasha. this pairing thie duo the og. fuck my heart. when they started going off to vormir i knew. i knew it and i cannot handle it. the whole scene where they are fighting each other to sacrifice themself i was SOBBING. LEGIT SOBBING. ‘let me go’ i loved this so much and also hated it. she deserved her happy ending too. after everything she gave up everything to save those people. her arch is so good too. im excited for her origin. i kinda want to see her when shes a bad guy and killing everyone and her journey to shield. i hope thats what we’ll see in her movie. 

but also that scene emotionally fucked me up hard. 

the og avengers (minus nat) sitting on the edge of the lake 

thor trying to put on the glove and redeem himself (in his own eyes not my own bc he doesnt deserve the shit he gets for not going for the head)

hulk doing it and the calm before the storm where everything goes back before that missile comes firing down. 

steve tony and thor facing off with thanos. everything about this scene. tony getting a juice-up from thor and lightning to max out his powers. steve jump kicking on thanos’s ass. thanos beating up thor and steve coming in with FUCKING MJOLNIR AGAIN CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I WAS CHEERING AT THIS POINT HE IS WORTHY MY BOY STEVE IS WORTHY

also on that note tony coming up to steve and saying “theres my man” or something and giving him back his shield again. 

steve standing there with his broken shield ready to face off with thanos’s army and sam coming in on the comm. and then EVERYONE COMING THRU AND KICKING NAMES AND TAKING ASS

legit cheering and crying so much 

valkyrie with her pegasus

shuri with her blasters 

peter parker and his reunion with tony was heartbreaking. tony looked so broken and complete at the same time. he got him back. 

PEPPER FREAKING POTTS 

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (YEESSSSSSSS)

peter quill’s semi-reunion with gamora and how she doesnt know him but he gets her back

also gamora, nebula and still-evil!nebula was a great scene. nebula killing her past self is some symbolic shit right there AND to protect her sister who she hated

CAROL FUCKING DANVERS COMING TO SAVE THE DAY AND KICK THANOS’S ASS 

im sad that she wasn’t in the film as much but i get why they did it and it also makes me really excited for her future films

but carol getting the gauntlet and peter saying “i dont know how youre gonna get through that” 

and ALL THE BADASS MCU WOMEN COMING UP BEHIND HER READY TO FIGHT AND REPRESENT FOR THE FEMALES (CRYING) 

this is something that couldn’t of been done a few years ago because there weren’t a lot of female superheroes in this universe and just the fact that this scene can make such an impression and become probably one of the most badass scenes of the mcu is one of the best things that came out of this movie.

side note: ‘activate instant kill’ great callback 

and then we get to the sacrifice.

i knew it. i expected it. i read it in fanfics.

i was still not prepared. 

‘I am inevitable’

‘I AM IRON MAN’

FUCKKKKKKKK they really know how to write these movies. 

he knew he would die. he knew he would never see morgan again. but he knew what he had to do. 

his character arch from a selfish man to a selfless man has been the most profound and powerful story. 

rdj and tony stark have really carried this franchise. they were the start. and it makes sense that his death closes out this era of the mcu. 

to rdj: i will never forgive my mom for telling me that she didn’t like you way back when. that really influenced how i thought about you and about tony stark for years. and i limited me from really appreciating and loving iron man and those movies and tony’s character. but as i continued to watch more of you in the mcu and in real life and have seen how you have grown and who you are today, i have so much love and respect for you and your character. im just so upset at the time i lost where i could have fallen even more in love with you. thank you so much for everything you have done over the last 11 years for this franchise. thank you for the time thank you for the memories and the laughs. the journey has been amazing. 

the funeral scene with ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ 

(also was the the kid from iron man 3 in the back?)

VALKYRIE BECOMING KING (queen? i say king but who knows) of new asgard. look at my killing baby all grown up and being the leader they need.

thor becoming a guardian basically. 

also was quill looking for his gamora? where was the gamora from this timeline on the ship? she wasn’t there in the scene so idk

also fighting with knives to see whos in charge lol

im glad people mentioned/mourned for nat too 

steve rogers 

steve.

i knew he wasn’t coming back.

bucky knew it too.

im wreaked

but at least he got his happy ending. he got his peggy (again idk what that does to her timeline) 

captain sam wilson america in the house.

(old steve looks like joe biden or is it just me lol)

they ended it with a steggy dance and kiss

it really was a perfect end to his story and it wrapped up his character really well. he got that life he deserved 

to chris evans: as this is probably the last time we will see you as captain america let me thank you too for the years and joy that you have brought to my life. youre it for me. you are the reason i became so invested in this world. when you jumped on the fake grenade i was in it with you. chris you are and will always be the best chris in my heart. your passion for this character and understanding of steve rogers and his motivations have created such a memorable performance. steve rogers will always be the og. he will always have my heart. i am so thankful that you took this opportunity and used it and made this character your own. you live up to the standards that steve holds for himself and i am so excited for your future. i am also so glad that you didn’t die in this movie bc i definitely could not have handled it if i had to watch both my favs die. i love you three thousand.

i literally cried throughout the whole movie. there were laughs, cheers, groans, stress, tears, and love throughout this film. i am so grateful that i am alive during this time in cinematic history. there will never be something as great or momentous as this film. a true culmination of 22 films. its never been done and i doubt itll ever be done again

i am also so impressed and amazed by how well this film turned out. it is just amazing how everything fell into place 

im sure ill read other people’s reactions and they will bring up points or problematic things that will taint my view on this movie but i dont want that to ruin my own experience

and for me, this was truly emotionally draining and fulfilling. the feeling of being in that theatre with all those people who love the characters as much as i do and experiencing this film for the first time is something i will never forget. 

people talk about how they remember lining up for star wars.

well i remember sobbing my eyes out when nat died, cheering along with everyone when cap picked up mjolnir and whipped thanos’s ass with it and when carol and the rest of the badass women of the mcu ready to kick ass, crying with everyone as the light went out in tony’s chest and eyes, watching as history was made in front of our eyes.

and the end credits with the og avengers getting recognition with their photos and autographs. 

i love this franchise and these films and these characters i dont know who i would be without them. 

one last thing

thank you to the og avengers. steve tony thor nat clint bruce. chris robert chris scarlett jeremy mark. you will always have a special place in my heart. you were there at the start. you were the reason this all could happen you were the reason i became so invested in these movies. you brought these characters to life and embodied them. you are all so much like your characters the casting is perfect. thank you for your dedication to your work to you fans and to your characters. it means so much that you all stuck through this together and that you are such great friends in real life and i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as to meet you all and thank you in person. 

[thisissirius]

so i saw endgame. spoilers below obviously.

so anybody that knows me, knows that tony stark is hugely important to me. i started reading iron man comics that i stole from my brother at the age of 8, and he has been my favourite ever since. bucky barnes is like right up there, but tony stark always has the edge. 

going in, i was terrified of what might happen thinking rdj is the end, right? it’s obvious he’s gonna leave somehow but that does not in any way prepare you for what’s gonna come. i am at a loss tbh. i haven’t even tried to put my feelings into thoughts because it’s genuinely heartbreaking. i was sobbing in the cinema and had tickets for this morning which i had to cancel because i could not put myself through that again so soon. 

sure, it’s in the last part of the movie but jesus, it hurts.

natasha. what an awful, awful, AWFUL way for her to die. the fact that it was her and not clint will always fuck me off tbh. she deserved better and she deserved to keep her family. IT WASN’T EVEN A SACRIFICE. it was an accident. 

i don’t .... i cannot put into words how devastated i am that the two characters i lost are tony and natasha. it’s heartbreaking.

that said, the movie itself was great but full of gaping issues lmao. 

the time shit just doesn’t work. whatever explanation they give, the past becoming the future, the future being present blah blah doesn’t work when you have characters changing KEY EVENTS and things still progress as normal? S U R E.

don’t get me started on the idiocy that was steve going back in time to spend ~forever with peggy. i’ve seen people argue both sides; it works! somebody would notice peggy married to steve! to me, it’s just a lazy way to get him out of commission for the hand over of the shield.

the worst thing is, it CANT MAKE SENSE and everything work out the same way. it just cant, no matter what shitty reason they give.

returning the stones? dumb as rocks. how you GONNA RETURN THE SOUL STONE? the 70s? no big deal, just walk back into the bunker and pretend i know what im doing. the scepter? the time stone? the REALITY STONE? steve rogers just walking onto asgard and putting the ether back in jane? jshajf IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE and they were just like HERE HAVE OLD STEVE AND FORGET THAT WE DIDNT EXPLAIN SHIT ABOUT HOW HE WAS GONNA RETURN THE STONES BYE

a l so the whole howard stark and tony MESS just upset me. i get it, we want redemption for howard because apparently the russos love him or disney was like “make him great! tony’s a father! let’s have some emotions!” but howard stark is a shitty father at best, abusive at worst and i HATE IT. get out of here with that shit. 

PEGGY WAS AMAZING AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER BECAUSE Y E S

that said, a MESS EVERYWHERE TBH

ugh. 

PROFESSOR HULK. i’m... in two minds. I LOVED IT and i know the bff did lol, but it’s also super weird to me BUT IM SURE I’LL GET USED TO IT BRUCE WAS GREAT THIS EPISODE and him getting to undo the snap was PERFECT

clint’s journey was pretty much wasted, i hated the whole nebula killing nebula and there being no repercussions from that? thanos was just .... didnt make sense idek, i forgot how much i hated his reasoning in iw and it wasn’t helped in eg, and then i had to deal with him being like “lol im gonna sit here and let you come to me and it’s clear my message is correct and dlkjhdja no”

thor’s journey distressed me in so many ways. it was played for laughs so many times and just generally hurt my soul. it should have been handled better. when the only person doing the right thing with thor is rocket the fucking raccoon? we got problems. 

DONT GET ME WRONG THERE WERE SOME EPIC MOMENTS

steve wielding mjolnir will forever be my favourite thing. with that, STEVE AND TONY AND THOR being the PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT trio in that end fight. YES THANKS. tony stark saving the universe twice over; once with the time loop and the second time with the gauntlet. pepper potts being perfect and awesome. she saved the universe, guys, with her convincing tony to go. never forget. AND IRON HEART YES THANKS. it was VISUALLY STUNNING and the fight scenes were great everyone got a great showing, tbh, and i love everyone carol was... actually well handled. i was concerned for a while how they would handle it, but she WORKS nebula was GREAT.  despite how annoyed i was at the treatment of women majorly in this movie, the scenes of ALL the women helping carol get through the army? AMAZING. i had chills and i’m pretty sure i said “im glad im a lesbian” because let me tell you, they are amazing and i love them

THE STONY/STEVETONY/SUPERHUSBANDS the steve and tony moments were PERFECT. their fight at the beginning, with too-thin tony and a devastated steve felt perfect and real. i don’t think i will ever recover from tony thrusting the arc reactor into steve’s hands, or him calling steve a liar, or steve’s own disbelief and sadness about what’s happened to them. 

i love their meeting when tony decides to help out, and the returning of the shield, and their interactions.

the fact that they get the same mission, and then have their little you trust me, i do moment and going undercover together in the 70s and lksjha.

THE ASS COMMENT are we worthy NOPE

i forever maintain that the ending should have been steve retiring and be like “nah” and instead, sticking around to be uncle steve to morgan, because i honestly believe that without peggy and natasha and tony? there’s not a whole lot left for him. but.

NOW BUCKY BARNES. i just... we didnt get a lot obvs, but what we did get was PERFECT. i loved that he KNEW steve wasn’t coming back, i love that he said goodbye in the only way the two of them COULD say goodbye, and i will forever love that moment between him and sam with bucky’s like whatever, of course you’re captain america, duh

(on that note, i had Feelings about sam consoling bucky at tony’s wedding? why does he need consoling? i have QUESTIONS and i’m probably gonna have to write out my feelings considering my winteriron feelings are growing.)

so in the end, i loved it as a whole, got my ship content, and the fight scenes were phenomenal.

but i lost natasha and my found family.

i lost tony stark, which is a much harder pill to swallow.