#i dont wanna have to write it myself but. dammit i will lmao

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

hey does anybody have any aro horror book recs, by chance?? novels and novellas preferred, but i'll take ANYthing aro/horror

[asummersday]

when will my writing motivation return from the war 😭

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

HI ITS ME gvxzggsgjfh ok look this is. i know this is a weird one it is SO specific and so obviously something i should just write myself if i want it👏but👏but👏BUT i decided to shoot my shot when a perfect chance has arisenderised for you to pick and choose from anything you like AND in any form, and to see if this one maybe by any chance just so happens to spark anything fun in u too xD

ssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo RANDOM EVENT ROLL D20 mc gets bitten by a werewoof or some other kind of "contagious" monster species (....cant really think of anything else other than vampirs, now that i say it) but WAIT THERES MORE because. what if mc insisted that they dont want any potential existent cures, they just wanna stay monstery >:3 JVDTHGLN who's considering it, who would absolutely go in the "its either me or this" direction, who's enthusiastic🤣 this is silly as hell but in the case it sparks joy id love to hear ur any and all thoughts because this idea has been haunting me for forever lmao honestly the best way ive imagined it is like one of your own selfinsert pieces youve posted before where its just all of them together bickering heeheehee💘💕🩷💞💖

love u have fun!!

The Arcana Drabble: MC transforms into a "monster"

In the spirit of things, I though a long drabble/short oneshot would work best to keep the madness going XD

Asra's getting stuck in their "one focus and one focus only" mode and right now that focus is making sure you're okay. He'll decide how he feels later, which isn't being helped at all because Julian keeps calling on him to help him slow down the process and get you to think about this a little more. However, it's hard to tell what exactly Julian wants your decision to be because in between him trying to get Asra to make you think about it some more, he's having all kinds of medical epiphanies about how your anatomy is adjusting to the new monster form:

"MC, let's think about some more, shall we? I'm sure Asra agrees with me - don't you, Asra? Asr - oh, whats this?! Your finger's joints are rapidly adjusting to accommodate for - I need a pen and paper -"

"Right here, Ilya." It's Portia's dismissive tone as she digs a small notebook and pencil out of her pocket that keeps you grounded. Not for long, though, because she can't wait to see what happens next. "Accommodate for what, anyways? Are you growing another joint?? Are you going to get claws??? Talons???? Show me!"

Between Julian jotting down unintelligible notes while he studies your elbow's range of motion, Portia's excited exclamations, and Asra's attempt at soothing touch as they rub your shoulders and ask how you're feeling, it's a miracle you can notice Muriel's quiet mumble in the background. He's clearly overwhelmed and very concerned that the physically-altering substance in general got to your brain first, making you so seemingly okay with turning into a monster.

"MC, do you remember your name? Do you need to take a nap? You don't have to be okay with this -"

"I believe this may warrant far more than a nap to recover from." Nadia's doing her best to keep Lucio calm, holding him back from tackling you much like she might grasp a leash. You can practically see the headache building behind her eyes. "We have yet to determine what the extent of this transformation is and therefore whether our dear MC is even capable of fully agreeing to the current process. MC, darling, did the source of this transformation give you any indication of what the end result would be?"

You'd try to respond, but Lucio's excited yelling is too noisy to shout over. He's fumbling at the fastenings on his cape, distracted by your ongoing changes, and very annoyed at Nadia's interference.

"Where did it go? I want to see if it can give me powers too - OW! Dammit, Noddy, I'm trying to help here! You're keeping me from finding the monster and getting it to give me cool - I mean, getting it to tell us more about what's happening! Don't you want that? Don't you want to help MC, Noddy?! Let me go -"

It's with a loud RIP and subsequent "that was velvet, you know!" that Lucio finally breaks free and sprints off in the direction of your new monster friend. You can feel yourself slowly settling in to your new form as the process shows signs of slowing and reaching completion.

Nadia's facepalming. Portia's looking at you with eyes shining in wonder. Julian's still trying to nag Asra into reversing this as he takes notes. The magician in question is still ignoring him as they ask you how you feel for the nth time. Muriel's eyeing the nearby closet in hopes of taking a nap and waking up to it all being a dream. Lucio's a distant, spiky golden speck at this point.

Faust is quietly trying to sneak her knife into your hand, for crimes.

[a-very-tired-raven]

Aw dammit, you guys are makin me wanna post this now(10:05) instead of 11:00, but im strong lmao (WARNING, long post ahead)

Anyways, i wanted to start this post off, by giving a thanks to all the truly wonderful people ive met on this platform from this year, last year, when i first joined, and the years to come. Youve all made my experience here wonderful, and to be honest youve made me feel so very very welcomed, and especially loved.

I came to this (wonderful)hellsite during a really lonely time in my life. A few years ago, around the later days of june, 2019, looking for more undertale content. What i didn't expect to find at all, were all the wonderful people im so so so very glad to now call my friends.

All of you, and i mean all, of you invited and welcomed me into your blogs with open arms, kindness, and silly jokes. Even going to the lengths introducing me to your other friends and making me apart of your friend groups. And...i genuinely cannot express how thankful i am for that.

Im so serious, i feel so loved and cared for every single day now, i always have someone to vent or talk with, someone to joke and ramble with, so many people that ive intertwined into this little online family of mine.

Weve all been through..a lot these past three years. What, with covid, loss, hate, and so much more. What im grateful for, is that i havent lost any of you, which not only am i suprised about, but also so grateful. You guys make me feel like the best verison of myself, and make me feel..well..me. we've all stuck together and looked out for each other, helped each other out with our problems, and shared art and stories.

Ive had the pleasure of meeting some very fine, brilliant, and respectable people thus far, and have had the honor of talking with some astonishing young friends. Ive even had the pleasure of gaining followers, and have received fanart of my own characters!! Which, i would have never guess would have happened. Ever. And yet it did, and that means so much to me.

So i suppose what im trying to do, or well..say here, is that all of you have turned my life for the better, and id like to thank you for that.

Thank you, @let-love-run-red @ratsoh-writes @und3rwat3r-a5tr0naut @vrnicky @a-gods-somewhat-mortal-form @icelingbolt @shimmer-lamp and @glaucus22 for being my very first friends in here, for welcoming me so warmly, and sharing your art and introducing me to so many cool people. I wouldn't have had as good as an experienced as ive had with you to have shown me kindness in the way the way you did

Thank you @glitchysquidd for giving me the honor of seeing your artwork, and goofing off with me from time to time.

Thank you @mochamashi @kuvvydraws and @underfell-crystal for being so nice to me, and taking time out of your days to chat and listen to my stupid little jokes

Thank you @luminawithherdaemonlinh @wisteria-and-crocuses and again @mochamashi for all the fanart youve sent me iver the months, and all the kind and craziness youve shown me. Thanks for going on crazy little rants with me wisteria, and a big thank to you lumnia for supporting me and my art for so long

Thank you @shimmer-lamp for being there with me since day one, for letting me vent and trusting me enough to confide in me at times.

Thank you @rainbowut @the1920sisntaphasemom and @scienceisfood for giving me so many ideas and laughter, i really do appreciate you guys and i feel as if i dont say it enough. You guys so are hilarious- seriously, i appreciate it

Thank you so so much @hearty-dose-of-ranch @kioko-noodles @fruitsnackart @skele-fucker @sendryl and @und3rwat3r-a5tr0naut taking me in your friendgroup so fast, and so warmly. Before you guys took me in, all of you inspired me and my art so much...i could hardly believe i was actually talking to you guys and was considered a friend??! My hands were shakey, my breath was wobbly, and yet you guys never thought twice about including me. You all have been there for me since ive met you, you all have (patiently)listened to my stuttering and ramblings without a second thought, youve all introduced me to so many cool things and have made me feel so so loved..i cant possibly thank you enough. Youve done so much for me

Thank you @ratsoh-writes for enduring my chaos and bad jokes. Youve made my dumbass feel incredibly welcomed, not to mention being such a big fuckin inspiration??? Youre one of the reasons i started to get confident in my art man. Ive used your art as references so much- and youve been such a good friend to me as well?? Be angry about me gettin muchy all you want, i love you ya stinky sewer varmit.

Thank you @springbon-t-art for showing me kindess even more since i joined the hellscape that is tumblr. Youve showed me nothing less then gentle smiles and kind words, and i thank you for that. Your art has inspired me for years, and most likely years to come from now. So thank you for inspiring me enough to pick up a pencil and start scribbling down on the floorboards

And a big big thank you to @let-love-run-red love...i dont even know where to begin. You've helped me through so much, you've inspired and taught me so much fuckin stuff...you've been one of the best damn friends i could ever have. You've supported me and my cringe drawings since the day i entered your inbox as that shy little anon on that late August day.

Hell, you're the damn reason i started writing. I still remember the tips you given me, all the advice and confidence. And i sincerely thank you for that. You have shown me nothing other then kindness and hardcore support. And i cannot express how much that means to me

And theres so many more people i have yet to thank but unfortunately cannot due to tag limits and my memory. Id have to make another post and make sure i havent forgotten anyone lmao, but thank you all!! To my close moots and followers, to the big inspirations ive yet to summon up the courage to talk to

I seriously, would have not made it this far without you dorks, and i sincerely, and genuinely, hope ive made an impact at least a fragment of the size you guys have made on me. Thank you all for giving me a place to call home on this little site.

Right now the time is 10:41 as i wrap this up, so im gonna go ahead and post this(probably willl be 11 or 12 by the time you twerps get to this point lmao)

So HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

And happy many years to come!!! I cant wait to see what this years brings us, what bonds strengthen and friends we'll meet. Thank you for the wild ride and for all the adventures to come!!

[chiyoso]

hiraeth! how are you doing today?

got a 59, 35, 42. 56 and 57 for your ask game.

it's a lot BUT I AM I N T R I G U E D

hehe! hey pretty <3 feel free to ask more, because i love intrigued people 🤭

35) favorite subject

i've ALWAYS, always had an affinity for music no matter what. i realized it late though, but because of my mom's wants of me being good at music in general, i developed a natural talent for teaching violin/piano in my own way that amazes her.

e.g. i helped a clearly struggling student of hers, and it was the day of the performance + we only had 1-2 hours of practice left, a piano student, she was having a hard time with counting the beats, and being on beat, having trouble with pacing as well, which i picked up almost immediately, and my mom was busy making preparations so she couldn't help. but i stood up and decided to because i just- idk? i really just wanted to help!

and i wasn't aware that this certain action of mine would lead to a successful performance, with a damn headmistress of a school offering me a free college scholarship because of my own performance + my sudden deeds

bam. (i think i overshared and retold my story about the free college scholarship lmao)

more info under cut! ❤︎

42) favorite books

hrm, i don't have a lot of books to read in this time now BUT

my favorite books growing up was diary of a wimpy kid (i swear i was so addicted to it, and i finished all books of it, PLUS THE MOVIE??? RODRICK??? OMG)

those fairy books i forgot the names but i think the titles were literal names of the fairies? idfk

bridgerton (cough) i'm a sucker for this genre

i can't think of anything else since i dont read much anymore, but i want to say that my favorite genres are; fantasy, romance, dark mature content (no, not 50 shades of grey) smut duh, sci-fi and i think thats pretty much it!

need recommendations... i wanna read some books where we flirt with some shadowy, dark eldritch horror or even the grim reaper himself (im so fucked omg)

56) favorite food

ITALIAN FOOD BABY, but i've been growing fond of uhh... chicken liver. i'm also really open to trying lots of things

ranking: most favorite

1. italian cuisine

2. fried japanese foods

3. korean cheese tteokbokki and tteokkochi

4. tbh convenience stores go hard too for my broke ass

5. philippines food

pizza reigns supreme.

...along with fries dipped in ice cream.

57) favorite animal

cats. any cat. (except for the furless ones im sorry)

cats remind me of scaramouche, lyney, neuvillette, blade and jing yuan so much, i wanna have a black cat along with a white one with gold eyes.

59) why i joined tumblr

now this... hrm

i genuinely forgot why i suddenly downloaded the app... shit.

dammit, i forgot. fuck. i just know i joined when me and my ex were at an all time low and the verge of breaking up.

i remember why i stayed and decided to write myself, i got inspired, heavily inspired and horny from the star rail fics i kept encountering, like my sexual drive just went through the roofs because of this certain welt yang x stellaron hunter blowjob fic, and some aspects of it, like welt and her not trying to get caught — my cynosure reader is inspired by that, doing lewd shit in secret.

and then i kept encountering fics, over and over. showering support to all which was so rejuvenating for my mental health, and then i encountered nat's al haitham fic, encountered you through my first story, and nat's mutual who guided me when i received anon little shits talking about my tagging lmao, yall were the three pillars that kickstarted my writing career genuinely

but if i can try harder to remember why i joined tumblr... i was uhhh, i was heavily depressed, dealing with my ex's shit, life, etc, and i was just mindlessly looking for something, anything, to give me energy, anything eventful for my overly draining situation.

that's all! ehe, ily aine <3

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 6-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

I’m so nervous and excited. Disclaimer: I have spoiled a few minor things for myself for this episode because I’m a self sabotaging dummy who does this whenever I get anxious about a form of media I am watching.

I’m so friggin nervous ahhhhhhhhh

Please tom Hiddleston, don’t do me dirty

Screw you renslayer

Istg if anyone betrays anyone I’m going to riot

Man I miss Classic!Loki already

Isn’t this the music that played when Steve?

OH MY GOSH IM GOING TO CRY WITH ALL OF THE AUDIO REFERENCES

Lol the peter quill lines are perfect because I legit just watched GotG

Nelson Mandela?

Vision???

Lmao Sylvie saying “open your eyes!” Gave me legend of Zelda breath of the wild flashbacks

My heart is rattling against my rib cage with excitement and anxiety

Spoopy castle

Aha another scene or at least location from the trailers!

Oof they’re both anxious too

Pretty gold veins

You were pruned before he even existed? What? No you weren’t? You were kidnapped but not pruned. You were only just pruned lmao.

If kang isn’t the baddy I’m gonna look like such an idiot

AGHH!

Good God that stopped my heart.

He who remains?

KANG?

I don’t trust you Miss Minutes

Man I wanna kill Thanos

Miss minutes I don’t trust you, TEMPTRESS!

If he could make it work, then why couldn’t he allow the timeline to break free normally then huh?

“We write our own destiny now.” Bite me Miss Minutes

Ren Slayer I hope you get chucked into space

How self aware is miss minutes exactly?

I’m actually surprised that Renslayer doesn’t know who it is

Miss minutes is so creepy what the freak

The music is so damn good

“Are we sure he’s even still alive?” Judging by the opening of the door, I’m assuming that yes.

Uhhh hi?

Is this kang?

Or Ryuk lmao

I’m hoping he’s more serious than this jokey seemingly unserious dude. I need some angst.

Is this Kang?

Cmon

So much for easy to kill I guess

Where’s doctor strange when you need him?

I bet classic!loki could kill him easily…

I miss alligator Loki and kid Loki…

Doctor strange sanctum vibes

Hey heart, can you stop beating in my chest? You’re gonna kill me

HAHAHAHAHA YESSSS MOBIUS

Kill her please. I won’t be sad. Do it.

You’re not sorry. Shut up.

HAHAHAHA YEA BOIIIIIII

Ohio? Oh gosh is this a school?

RENSLAYER???

Hahaha she’s just a principal

HAHAHA BREAK THEIR MINDS

Don’t you dare insult my Loki. Love you Sylvie, but she’s nothing compared to Loki in my mind and never will be.

This music is gonna give me a heart attack

Help

Oh so this has happened before?

Wannabe God…

My BPM has got to be like 100

Paved the road? Soooo are you a Loki or???

Who are you? Please be kang or else I’m gonna friggin have to eat a rock like I promised.

This dude is literally a Fan Fiction writer oml

Sylvie? Please trust Loki. Don’t betray him.

Yea yea Renslayer I know that it’s crazy your whole life is a lie but you’re an idiot.

You’re a variant too you dumb dumb.

Yea you betrayed him. You betrayed the timeline.

Where the hell are you going?

PRUNE HER

DO IT

OH COME ON

PRUNE HER FOR CRIPES SAKE

Ughhhhhhh cmon Mobius…

In search of free will? What? Then WHY NOT TAKE MOBIUS WITH YOU

Dang that was disappointing Mobius got knocked down that easily…

Oh my gosh Tom Hiddleston’s voice is rumbling in my headphones good God

Kang?

Kang?

KANG THE CONQUEROR?

PLEASE

GIVE ME AFFIRMATION

Oof even he has variants

Dude loves Apples more than Ryuk

But he also sat on the chair like L

Is he like a celestial? Related to one?

Hush you wannabe Saint

Alioth?

Okay but HOW did you harness its power. What’s your technology then? You can’t just say that and not explain how.

Is he drunk?

Okay L

He’s like L, Light Yagami, and Ryuk all in one.

Your variants? Then who are you?

GAMBIT LIKE FROM THE X MEN UNIVERSE? I’m kidding… sigh…

Okay mandalorian

My heart is still beating fast why

If I don’t make another appearance again, know I died of a heart attack

Why would he give up control huh?

Is he a Loki?

“I’m older.” Dude you look like you’re 30 tops. What’s your secret? How are you immortal if you’re only man? Or are you not a midgardian?

Both sitting with swords.

Multiversal war heh? DOCTOR STRANGEEEEE THEYRE AT IT AGAIN

He’s kinda calling her out a lil lmao

Both of them

HEART CAN YOU CALM DOWN?? I TOOK MY PILLS! WHY YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A PANIC ATTACK.

Hello? Something happening you didn’t expect?

Threshold?

Of what?

This dude is a good actor. He’s playing the demented, crazed, power man well.

What’s the third option? There can’t only be two.

My heart is friggin dumb. Can you not??? I’m legitimately annoyed by how hard and fast it’s beating.

What’s that in your hand buddy?

Bud?

What, is it an honesty detector or something?

You can really tell this guy is tired of life and everything

Aaaaand they’re fighting

Girls girls, you’re both pretty. Can I go home now?

Oh no…

Sylvie, no, stop it.

SYLVIE!!! Trust Loki!

Cmon there has to be a third option

Sylvie DAMMIT

TRUST HIM

Protagonists fight before the climax cliche *ding!*

GET OUT OF MY HEAD CINEMASINS

Dammit now she knows magic too

HE DOESN’T WANT THE THRONE YOU DUMB DUMB

“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want a throne. I just want… I just want you to be okay.”

OH?

OH?

HELLO?

It’s the onceler fandom all over again

Kiss and betrayal

COME ON MAN

Loki can’t catch a break. He just gets betrayed again and again.

How did she know how to use that.

Oop. Rip.

“See you soon.”

Sylvie, you messed up.

Now what?

Poor doctor strange. Dudes gonna have his hands full lmao.

Tom Hiddleston BETTER be in Dr. Strange Multiverse of Madness

My chest is actually moving from how hard my heart is beating what the heck

Poor Loki

All he knows is pain and hurt. And whenever he thinks he’s getting love, love, like a dagger, hurts him.

CMON TOM DONT MAKE ME CRY WITH YOUR STELLAR ACTING

How is this going to end????

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

Mobius???

WHY DID MOBIUS FORGET HIM

NEW STATUE? IS IT TOO LATE?

WHAT

THATS THE END????

WHAT?

BUT

BUT

BUT

WHAT???

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

HOW

WHY

WHAT THE HELL?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN CREDITS??????????

Funky music but…

WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING

WHY DID MOBIUS FORGET LOKI

WHY DID THE TIME KEEPERS STATUE GET REPLACED?

END CREDIT SCENE?

SEASON 2 CONFIRMED OKAY SO

AGHHHHHHHHHH!

I—WHAT?

BUT

BUT

WHEN IS SEASON 2???

HOW LONG WILL I HAVE TO WAIT?

WAS THAT KANG OR DO I HAVE TO EAT A ROCK?

WILL SEASON TWO FOLLOW DIRECTLY AFTER SEASON ONE OR IS THIS LEADING UP TO THE DR STRANGE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS AND WILL SEASON TWO FOLLOW THAT?

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MY HEART

SYLVIE WHY

YOU TRAITOR

BUT AT LEAST IT WASN’T A BETRAYAL IN THE WAY I FEARED IT WOULD BE

BUT STILL

I AM LOOKING AT THE CREDITS IN THE OTHER LANGUAGES TO SEE IF THEY REFER TO HE WHO REMAINS AS KANG

I DON’T WANT TO EAT A ROCK

MY BRAIN IS MELTING

MY HEART IS… AGHHHHHHHHHHH

[nachotrash]

MORE INCORRECT QUOTES WITH MY MOOTS

ft: @catchmewiddershins @lilikags and @paradise-creator // no haikyuu boys this time

Pauline: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Wid, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

------------------

Pauline: We're having a baby. Shiyu: Oh, congradu- Wid, slamming adoption papers onto teh table: It's you, sign here.

---------------

Pauline: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Shiyu, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Wid, whispering: Because I have little hands. Shiyu: Because they have little hands.

------------------

Wid: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

--------------

Lili: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

---------------

Wid: Pros and cons of dating me. Wid: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Wid: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

(cons. you're the smart one😔)

----------------

Shiyu: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?

-------------

Pauline: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

-------------

Shiyu: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

(*lipbites in 166 cm*)

--------------

Wid: I don't dab. I stab.

(nOw WhEarE HAvE i SeEn ThIs BeFoRe)

----------------

Shiyu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

(t-pose to assert dominance)

---------------

Shiyu, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because... Shiyu, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

(lmao baby nacho really be bold)

--------------------

Shiyu: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

------------------

Lili: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

----------------

Pauline: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

--------------

Pauline: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Pauline: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

(we are the squad now)

---------------

Lili: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

---------------

Wid: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Wid: I need my socks.

------------------

Pauline: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

(yes yes you are how dare you)

------------

Shiyu: Yeah I'm LGBT. Shiyu: cuLt leader. Shiyu: God hates me personally. Shiyu: cowBoy hat. Shiyu: *sniffles* Trying my best.

(my asexual ass be like;)

-------------

Wid: *plays shreksophone* Wid: Woo. Wid: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity. Shiyu: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend

---------------

Shiyu: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pauline: Killed without hesitation.

----------

Pauline: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

---------------

Pauline: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

-----------------

Pauline: I hate Lili. Shiyu: "Hate' is a strong word. Pauline: I have strong opinions.

(oh no)

----------

Wid: How does that even work? Shiyu, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Wid: Your face doesnt make sense.

(...fair enough)

------------

Pauline: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

-----------

Pauline: My stomach growled super loud in French. Pauline: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Shiyu: Bonjour. Lili: Le growl. Wid: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

(reminds me of the 'ill speak french between your legs' tumblr legend and im wheezing)

------------------

Shiyu: *tapping fingers on table* Lili: *taps fingers back furiously* Wid: …What’s going on? Pauline: Morse code. They’re talking. Shiyu: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - Lili: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

-----------------

Shiyu: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Wid, Lili, & Pauline: Okay. Shiyu: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Wid: Bold of you to assume I have money. Lili: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Pauline: Bold of you to assume I can die.

(pauline is a goddess. goddesses cant die)

------------------

Lili: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Wid: Strong. Shiyu: Weak. Pauline: An idiot, is what your are.

(as long as you dont flinch or scream youre strong. unless you get punched in the gut by someone like ushijima ofc)

--------------------

Shiyu: Those darn tall old people. Wid: Darm em' indeed. Pauline: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough. Lili: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead. The Squad: Lili: Hahaha. Lili: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?

-----------------

Wid: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Pauline. They're mad at you. Pauline: No, it's Shiyu. They're just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Shiyu: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Lili: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Shiyu: I stand by my choice.

------------------

Wid: What do we think of Shiyu? *pause* Lili: *sighs* Nice pal. Pauline: I think they're gay.

=------------

Wid: Where is Shiyu? Pauline: I'll do you one better, who is Shiyu?? Lili: Here's a better question, why is Shiyu?

(i dont know man. ive been trying to figure it out for the last few years)

--------------

Wid: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? Wid & Lili: One, two, three- Wid & Lili: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks! Shiyu: Our turn, Pauline! One, two, three- Shiyu: Vanilla! Pauline: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?

----------------

Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Wid: A doll. Shiyu: A cinnamon roll. Lili: A sweetheart. Pauline: Pauline: ...stop it.

(cant deny the truth bby)

---------------

Wid, Pauline & Shiyu: *screaming* Lili: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Shiyu?! Wid: Wait, why are you asking Shiyu that when Pauline and I are also here? Lili: Because Shiyu wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

(i mean... its true )

-----------------

Pauline: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Wid: Fucking Shiyu and Lili were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

(manifests dvalin cause i wanna ride on their back and fall off)

-------------------

Lili: Wake me up- Wid: Before you go go Shiyu: When September ends Pauline: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(cant wake up- WAKE ME UP INSIDE)

--------------------

Shiyu, watching Pauline & Lili panic : What's going on? Wid: Pauline is having a midlife crisis and Lili is just having a crisis.

--------------

Lili: *Gasp* Pauline: wHAT?? Lili: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Pauline: *inhales* Wid, in another room with Shiyu: Why can I hear screeching?

(shiyu: same shit different day)

----------------------------

Shiyu: Christmas is cancelled. Wid: You can't cancel a holiday. Shiyu: Keep it up, Wid, and you'll lose New Year's too. Wid: What does that mean? Shiyu: Lili, take New Year's away from Wid.

--------------------

Pauline: So, are they your friend or... Lili: They’re like Wid, but if Wid was ordered to be around you. Pauline: Oh, so Shiyu. Lili: Precisely!

(if its about how annoyed i always look then you ahve a point)

----------------

Wid: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Pauline: When have I been paranoid? Wid: Um, when you first met Lili you thought they were an undercover cop…? Pauline: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Wid: And last year you were sure Shiyu was a mermaid! Pauline: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Pauline’s theory is proven wrong* Wid: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Pauline: I still think Shiyu is a mermaid.

(id gladly be one)

--------------------

*Wid drunkenly wanders around the manor and Lili is drunkenly giggling* Shiyu, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Pauline. Pauline, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

----------------

Wid: We need to distract these guys. Lili: Leave it to me. Lili: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Pauline & Shiyu: *immediately begin arguing*

(*pulls out dictionary*)

------------------

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Shiyu, with Wid and Lili behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Shiyu: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Shiyu: Pauline FUCKING FELL OFF!

----------------------

Wid: What is love? Pauline: An emotional minefield. Shiyu: A neurochemical reaction. Lili: Baby don't hurt me.

(BECAUSE FUCK EMOTIONS)

--------------------

Pauline: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Wid: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Lili: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Shiyu: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am no longer taking suggestions.

------------------

Shiyu, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Pauline: Gray. Lili: Grey. Shiyu, turning to Wid: Now tell them what color you think it is. Wid: Dark white.

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on S10xE8

I just wanna get this over with so here we go. It’s gonna be a roller coaster so don’t read if you’re just gonna come for me after.

THEY WERE GONNA GET SOME FUCKING FLAP JACKS 😭😭😭😭

Who actually says flap jacks?

I’m from Texas and say pancakes? Where are y’all from and what do you call them?

Mickey is so fucking dramatic and Ian is unfazed

Plot twist I pushed Paula

I can just imagine Ian rolling his eyes before going to find his dramatic boyfriend

Mickey is a comedic genius I LOVE HIM

“You kidding that’s extremely funny”

That whole exchange is one of my favorite scenes I think

I wanna keep Mickey safe and away from his fucking “dad”

Tami looked so offended that she couldn’t stay for the convo BITCH GET TF OVER IT

“He’s a psychopath” stfu man gosh

Lip not so secretly loves Mickey I’m crying

And I don’t mean romantically so fuck right off okay?

Ian why are you even questioning if you should lie for Mickey wtf just do it

IAN WORKING OUT A MARRIAGE PLAN IN HIS HEAD WHILE TALKING TO THE COP FUCK RIGHT OFF BEFORE I CRY AGAIN

I FUCKING HATE TERRY WTF

LEAVE HIM ALONE

A show about the Milkovich family would’ve been a lot more interesting than this show

I fucking hate this scene because tbh I actually enjoyed it and I hate myself for it

“Who’s Ian?” Literally me in every episode he’s in without Mickey

My Mickey is so brave IM SO PROUD OF YOU MY SWEET BOY

Okay thank you sandy for standing up for him you’re okay now I guess

Have I mentioned how much I FUCKING HATE TERRY

But Mickey talking about marrying Ian in front of him almost had me in tears thinking about how much he’s grown IM THE PROUDEST MOTHER

I want a proud mom bumper sticker and not even for the baby I’m actually pregnant with why does my husband love me?

I asked my husband this question and he said “honestly I don’t know” BITCH LMAO

He’s kidding obvs he loves me because I’m hilarious

Little lunch date 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Ian just blurting it out because he’s so nervous

MICKEYS FACE

“We fucking love each other that’s why we’re gonna get married” AM I OKAY??? NOPE

ANOTHER I LOVE YOU 😭😭😭😭

AND I TRUST YOU 😩😩😩😩

HOLDING HANDS ACROSS THE TABLE THIS IS ALL IVE EVER WANTED

Thumbs :((((

MICKEYS SMILE STOP

But like never stop

I died when Mickey said “proposing” it’s the little things that kill me

WHYD HE HAVE TO SAY I DO WHY

Am I gonna survive the actual “I do”? Probably not

They both looked genuinely happy

Despite everything this scene was so cute I’m in actual pain

Sweetest public kiss ever

Thumb again 🥺🥺🥺🥺

And the sweetest smiles after

We deserved that before things go to shit

DONT CHECK YOUR PHONE

The bickering 😂

Cam and Noel are so funny! Their chemistry amazes me

And now it’s all downhill from here

I don’t wanna talk about this

HES SO SAD

But Ian does say there’s plenty of reasons but like my heart still hurts

Mickey wants to cry ugh I hate this

Mickey still wanted to get married 😭😭

IAN JUST SIGN IT I DONT WANT MY BABY TO HURT ANYMORE

I can’t even look at mickeys face because it literally breaks my heart

Noel is that fucking good wow

I actually feel bad for Ian when Mickey walks away but I’m also like KEEP WALKING BABY

BUT ALSO JUST TALK IT OUT PLEASE

I wanna hold Mickey so bad

Another I love you and it’s so important

I don’t wanna watch anymore

COMMUICATE DAMMIT!!!

I’m so frustrated

Like I get why Mickey is trying to run but baby please

Now I’m only gonna talk about this once and them I’m gonna pretend it didn’t happen

S10 Mickey would never hit Ian no matter how much he was hurting

I fucking hate the writers so much

Need a way to write in Cam’s broken leg?

Here’s an idea: Mickey walks away, Ian goes to chase him and slips on one of the stairs

Wanna add some comedy to it? He barrels into Mickey and knocks him down too

Jesus Christ

Who fucking thought that was a good idea?

Okay I’m done talking about it

Sneak peak of next week

Ian calling Mickey a punk because he’s dating was so childish but cute and I actually giggled because he’s so jealous

And hey Ian has called him worse so this is nothing

Oh gosh this Byron guy? Really Mickey?

Okay so I actually really enjoyed the episode and don’t mind the angst one bit. The only reason I’m was so angry is because of the thing that I said I would never mention again. Everything else was so good. I’ve read fics with worse angst than that. We all know they get married so don’t let the angst get to you too much.

I always like to end these on a positive note so let me just say Noel and Cam were phenomenal! I mean they always are but this episode was a stand out to me. I’m proud. I’ve never seen my husband this into the show before and for him to enjoy it with me? I’m shook

Alright I’m done. Like always let me know your thoughts if you want. I know some of you have no one to really talk about the show with so I’m my asks are open.

[humanitys-shortest]

✨Simself Tag!!✨

I was tagged by the lovely @shyysims to do the Simself Tag, so here we go with the 125 bloody questions! (I commend whoever came up with all of them, because that’s a lot of brain power that I do not possess.) But! I’m so excited to do this, so thank you so much shyysims!! (●´ω｀●)

I will tag @calsea-ger, @alienshootlove, @wolfy-drawsstuff, @hallucinosims and @stories4sims - of course, you don’t have too! Only if you wanna & have the spare time. :D

Rules: You have to make a simself and include whatever you wish (like traits or anything about you) Then answer the following questions!! (✿◠‿◠)

And heeeree weee go~

Traits: creative, coffee lover(I liked the icon bcuz I love warm drinks but I actually hate coffee dont sue me), geek, music lover, a photo album, geek, loner, hearts(cuz I’m full of love duh) and bookworm!

I also included my aspiration - to become a photographer. 

What is your full name? Charlotte

What is your nickname? Char, Lottie, and Petey!

Birthday? February 22nd

What is your favorite book series? ..Twilight..

Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Yep!

Who is your favorite author? I wish I could say J.K Rolling but I’ll go with Stephenie Meyer cuz Twilight fueld my younger teenage years.

What is your favorite radio station? Heaven knows

What is your favorite flavor of anything? Wellllll s’kinda confusing! I love chocolate flavoured ice-cream but I can’t have chocolate flavoured crisps, can I? I’m just gonna go with chocolate. 🍫

What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? awesomeeee possssummmm

What is your current favorite song? Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine

What is your favorite word? coolio

What was the last song you listened to? Lisztomania by Phoenix 

What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Gotham!!

What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? The Amazing Spider-Man

Do you play video games? Yessiree

What is your biggest fear? Moths & heights

What is your best quality, in your opinion? my storytelling? I’m pretty proud of the ideas I come up with, if that means anything. xD

What is your worst quality, in your opinion? S’always overthinking everything.

Do you like cats or dogs better? kitty

What is your favorite season? Autumn & Winter - can’t chooseeee!!

Are you in a relationship? Yep :)

What is something you miss from your childhood? I relate with @shyysims’ last answer - friends, lmao.

Who is your best friend? My Amber

What is your eye color? Dark brown

What is your hair color? Dark brown

Who is someone you love? My boyf and my bestfriend

Who is someone you trust? The above :)

Who is someone you think about often? Jack Napier

Are you currently excited about/for something? AVENGERS INFINITY WAR TRAILER POSSIBLY DROPPING TOMORROW

What is your biggest obsession? rn, batjokes ofc!!

What was your favorite TV show as a child? Ed, Edd and Eddy & Rugratz. c:

Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My s/o

Are you superstitious? kinda?

Do you have any unusual phobias? Not that I can think of? Ooh! I hate it when a single strand of hair lands on my skin or something. It freaks me out cuz it feels weird.

Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind. I take the photos, I ain’t in them :P

What is your favorite hobby? Writing! Followed by gaming!!

What was the last book you read? Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them (script)

What was the last movie you watched? Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes Of Grindelwald

What musical instruments do you play, if any? The triangle.

What is your favorite animal? Wolves! I also rlly rlly love deers and elephants.

What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? mellie, freddie-luthor, wolfy, elijah & smolbeanjoker :)

What superpower do you wish you had? The power of SELF DAMN CONFIDENCE

When and where do you feel most at peace? Anywhere my s/o is.

What makes you smile? Jack Napier :)

What sports do you play, if any? I used to really love playing basketball and cricket. S’been ages.

What is your favorite drink? Any kind of hot chocolate. :)

When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? October for my bestfriends birthday. :D

Are you afraid of heights? b o i 

What is your biggest pet peeve? Liars?

Have you ever been to a concert? Not with this anxiety I haven’t 

Are you vegan/vegetarian? No. but full respect to those who are :)

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? When I was in primary school, a zoo-keeper... high-school, an author.

What fictional world would you like to live in? The fuckin Harry Potter world please.

What is something you worry about? Life

Are you scared of the dark? Not really

Do you like to sing? Yep! But can I? Nope.

Have you ever skipped school? Uhh yes

What is your favorite place on the planet? My bed

Where would you like to live? Anywhere near a forest/woodland. Honestly Arcadia Bay is my aesthetic.

Do you have any pets? One doggo, three kitto’s.

Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? twittwoo

Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets

Do you know how to drive? No :c

Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

Have you ever had braces? Nada

What is your favorite genre of music? The LIS Soundtrack is a genre of music, right?

Who is your hero? Peter Parker.

Do you read comic books? What do you think if my account is based on Batman hmmmm

What makes you the most angry? Liars

Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book

What is your favorite subject in school? Media

Do you have any siblings? two sisters, two brothers

What was the last thing you bought? a selection box. for myself. no no m’actually sharing with @crycel ;)

How tall are you? 5′3

Can you cook? Toast? Yes.

What are three things that you love? My boyfriend, my bestfriend and Jack Napier

What are three things that you hate? liars, my lack of self confidence n’ belief, and widowmaker auto-lockers

Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Female

What is your sexual orientation? pink yellow and blue baby

Where do you currently live? tea land

Who was the last person you texted? Ammmbaaah

When was the last time you cried? Last week?

Who is your favorite YouTuber? Depends on my mood! But recently it’s Shane

Do you like to take selfies? I do, because I really wanna try and bring my self confidence up. Buuuut most of the time it fails and I just feel worse about myself god dammit

What is your favorite app? tech not an app but ao3

What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

What is your favorite foreign accent? Aussies!!

What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Bristol. To see my bestfriend.

What is your favorite number? 7

Can you juggle? xD

Are you religious? no

Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? Outer space 

Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Absolutely not

Are you allergic to anything? Some sort of washing power lmao my skin doesn’t likey much

Can you curl your tongue? nuuu

Can you wiggle your ears? nuuuuuuuu

How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? As soon as I realize I am

Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest

What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? always try and see the good side of things

Are you a good liar? Mehhhh

What is your Hogwarts House? HUFFLEPOOF

Do you talk to yourself? not really?

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert 

Do you keep a journal/diary? used too! Now I have scrapbooks, if thats any consolation 

Do you believe in second chances? Yes. But it’s got me into trouble, lmao

If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Turn it in somewhere, whatever shop/place is closest if they’re trustworthy

Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes and no

Are you ticklish? ...no

Have you ever been on a plane? Hell no

Do you have any piercings? all natural bby

What fictional character do you wish was real? Peter Parker. (but i’m the female version of him okay)

Do you have any tattoos? Not yet

What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? HAH

Do you believe in karma? aye

Do you wear glasses or contacts? I think I need glasses tbf

Do you want children? no, my sim bbies are my children. and my cats.

Who is the smartest person you know? my bestfriend (sorry boyf)

What is your most embarrassing memory? we don’t go there

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? what’s sleep? at least, CONISTENT HOURS of sleep?

What color are most of you clothes? Black from my emo days, but now I’m really into yellows and soft colours

Do you like adventures? Yessss, as long as I’m with someone I feel safe with

Have you ever been on TV? I hope not

How old are you? 19

What is your favorite quote? “ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” or  “worrying means you suffer twice”

Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Sweet

YAY

[agent-absinthe]

Don’t Touch Me Pt. 2

Holy shit y’all CAME FOR ME because of the last one lmao I almost feel bad for writing it!  I got a few requests for a sequel so here it is.  Just as angsty and awful as the first one! - Part 1-  I recommend Habits by Tove Lo and idfc by Blackbear 

Absinthe was bracing herself against the sink of a shitty little restroom in a seedy bar that Tequila had brought her to.  She looked up into the mirror and rubbed a hand under her eye to try and even out the smudged make up, mascara tear streaks running down her cheeks.  Fuck she couldn’t keep doing this every week, but she couldn’t stop.  It was one of the only things she could look forward to and Tequila was more than happy to have someone to have fun with, especially when she took whatever he gave her without much care for what it was.  God, what the fuck was she doing?  

“Hey!  Ya ok in there?  Come on we gotta go!“ 

“Ya, I’m fine just give me a second.“ 

Tequila opened the door anyway and pulled her out by the arm, everything was blurry and slow as he led her out the door.  The cold air hit her hard and she held onto him as they moved.

“Wanna head home or brave another bar?“  

“Bar, club, anything.  Just not home yet.“  Her tongue felt too heavy as she spoke.

“Mmm, ya ok?  Hey, look at me-“ Tequila stopped and grabbed her chin, shaking her a bit.

“No, yer goin’ home.  What the fuck did you take?“

“I dont know.  Whatever, you gave me-“

“I didnt give you anything!“  Why did he sound so mad?  Chill out.

Oh ya, it hadn’t been Tequila, it had been that stripper that looked a little like him.  Fuck, what was his name again?  

“Whoa, whoa you need to stay with me, Elise.  Come on, girl don’t fucking pass out on me.”

His voice was getting so distant now, the sound of her labored breathing the only thing her ears seemed to register, like she was under water.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

~

The taste in her mouth was the first thing Elise noticed when she woke up, eyes crusty with day old eyeliner and mascara, a painful pimple already developing from the left on foundation.  Wait.  This wasn’t her bed.  And who’s fucking shirt did she have on?

“Thank fucking god yer awake!” 

“Where am I?  What happened?“  

Tequila looked like he was about to cry before getting furious.

“Ya fuckin’ took some shit from a stripper and ran off!  Yer lucky I found ya in the bathroom when i did because you passed out on me.  Fuckin’ had to get Ginger to come over and pump your stomach so we wouldn’t have to take you in.“

“Oh my god.“  Elise covered her face and fell back to the bed.

“Ya, Elise look I ain’t got no business tellin’ you what to do but you gotta get yer shit together.  I know you’re still hurtin’ but fuck darlin’ it’s been a few months and honestly ya starting to look like shit.“

She started to laugh at that because it was true and it hurt to admit that she hadn’t been taking care of herself.  It was hard right now to do anything except drown out her feelings in whatever she could find.

“Come on, get up.  We gotta a plane to catch.“  He tossed her a button down and her skinny jeans from last night.

It felt good to get all of the crusted make up off, Tequila’s face wash was actually decent and luckily he had an extra toothbrush lying around, god she would have to cook for him soon as thanks for all this.  She still looked like shit but at least her breath didn’t smell like it.  When Champ told Absinthe he was promoting her to head of the Psych department she didn’t know what to say, she was 25 and getting a promotion like that was unheard of.  Until he added that it would be at the Kingsman location and that their Psych Department consisted of 5 other agents.  

“So...you gonna be ok?”  Tequila asked quietly as they took off.

“I guess.  Champ said if I didn’t clean up my act I’d be put on leave until further notice.  I just- I don’t want to see him.  I still feel like shit-.”

“Hey, hey sweetpea no, that ain’t your fault, ok?  That shit is on him, we all know that if ya had known it wouldnta happened.”  He wrapped his arm around her, prepared for the tears.

~

“Mhmm, oh yes.  Of course I’ll show you where all the good cafes are!  I made sure to get you assigned to a good room, much better than the one you had a Statesman.“  

Merlin walked into the meeting room and was surprised to see Harry on his personal phone as the other agents waited impatiently.

“I’ve taken it upon myself to have a gift basket made as well.  And I’ve already gotten your schedule cleared up for when we go see Elton.  Just a moment dear someone’s glaring at me-”  Harry covered the phone, “it’s Elise, they landed a few moments ago.”

“Yes, yes Eggsy and Roxy are very excited to see you.  No, no you aren’t interrupting anything.“

Merlin’s heart sank at her name.  The guilt that had subsided over the past few months now opened up like a fresh wound.  They hadn’t spoken since she told him to get out; their departments were on opposite sides of the distillery so they would have limited contact, if any.  Still, just knowing she would be this close to him resurfaced everything he had felt in Kentucky and those feelings also brought nauseating shame.  His marriage with Sophia had flourished since he got back, now that their HQ was in Scotland he got to spend much more time at home.

“I’m on my way to the landing strip now.“

“Arthur, sir, we need to do a debrief.“ 

“Do it without me, Merlin.  I’m sure it’ll be fine.“

Merlin almost screamed...

~

Absinthe was fucking FLOURISHING; the others in the department respected her, she hadn’t gone out and gotten drunk in weeks, and knowing Merlin was in the same building barely even crossed her mind anymore.  The smile on her face seemed permanent as she made her way through the distillery, god they had to make this place so confusing didn’t they?

“Pardon me, dear!”  A light,Scottish voice called from behind her.

A tall, redhead holding a clipboard and a lunch bag was jogging up to her with a bashful smile.  She was older, maybe mid 40′s but holy shit was she gorgeous, even in jeans and a simple jumper the woman looked STUN-NING.  

“Hi, can I help you?”

“I’m looking for the front desk, seemed to have gotten turned about.”  

“I’m heading that way actually!  And this place is like a maze, still haven’t gotten used to it.  What brings you to the distillery?”

“My husband, lord help me, forgot his clipboard and lunch at home.  Made me come all the way up here for a clipboard.“ 

“They’re hopeless aren’t they?“  She tsked.  

The women shared an understanding laugh together and continued down the hall making small talk and giggling comfortably. 

“You’re American, right?”

“I’m from the U.S sister location.  I actually just got transferred here a month or so ago.”

The woman smiled at her, “And what bring’s ya to Scotland, love?  How do you like it so far?”

“God, it’s gorgeous and I was appointed to head of... H.R.”

“What?  Good lord, ya cannot be older than what, 26?”

“25.”

“You’re just a babe still, a child really.  So young, my goodness it must be exciting!”

“Oh, come on you’re what, 32?”

She tossed her head with a deep laugh, ”Aw, you’re so cheeky.  Child, I’m 46.”

“Well, you look great.”  Was Elise flirting?  Probably not? 

The redhead slapped her shoulder playfully as they finally arrived at the front desk.  The poor worker looked so relieved to finally see other human beings.

“Sorry, love I didn’t catch your name.”

“It’s Elise, so good to meet you!”  She held out her hand.

“Sophia.  I’m sure I’ll see y’again, ya know we should do lunch sometime!  I can introduce ye to some locals, I know a bar back at the village spot  that would love to make yer acquaintance.”  

More warm laughter.  

“I would actually really like that.”  Elise felt her heart get even lighter knowing she had just made a friend.

“Fantastic.  Let me get your number-”  Sophia handed off the clipboard and bag to the front desk assistant.

“Oh thank goodness you brought this.  He’s been calling down every five minutes seeing if it’s been dropped off.”  The assistant mumbled punching in the tech department’s extension.

“Fantastic, I’ll shoot ya a text later this week!  Oh, I better stay and say hi to him I guess, men can be so sensitive can’t they?”

“I know right.  Oh, who’s your husband?  I don’t think I asked.”

“Hamish.  He works in the tech department.”

No.  Oh no.  Oh god, no.  

“You alright, darlin’?”  The poor kid suddenly looked mortified.

“Um, ya.  It was so great to meet you but I just remembered I have a meeting to get to.  Have a good day!” 

Elise was able to make it back down the hall and into a bathroom stall before the first sob broke through her mouth.  She bit down on her fist to keep the cries from echoing in the empty room and pressed herself against the stall.  Why?  Why had this happened?  Everything was going so well, she was doing so well.  As the secondhand guilt came back tenfold another thought manifested itself screaming, 'there's no way he could have cared for you if he has her!  God, he must have really lowered those standards for you!’  

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.“  She chanted elbowing the stall until she bled..

As her breakdown slowly subsided her phone began to ring, Tequila, probably wondering where she was.

“Hey.“

“Where the hell are ya?  We need- wait, are ya ok?  Yer voice sounds thick.“

A sniff, “Ya, ya I’m fine.  Hey, can we go out tonight?”

“Darlin’ it’s Wednesday.“

“So?  Come on we haven’t done anything crazy since we left the states.“

There was a short silence before he laughed, “dammit girl, alright.  You better hurry that ass up though cause I cain’t keep this meeting stalled for long.”

Elise now braced herself against the sink, staring into the mirror and trying to salvage any makeup that was able to stay on her skin.  The promise of a drunk, destructive night soothing her nerves for now.

Looks like it was back to square one.  

~

Roxy and several other younger agents had tagged along, the London club scene apparently hot and heavy even during the middle of the week.  Tequila was being a butthead and refusing to let Absinthe out of his sight, this was so stupid.  He kept handing her drinks though, so that made up for it, for now.  

She was on the dance floor?  When had she gotten here?  Where was Roxy, she was just dancing with her.  A couple pulled her into their circle.  They were warm so she stayed.

It was cold outside, snow crunching underneath her shoes.  Trying to read her phone while her fingers trembled.  She sent Roxy and Tequila a text to stop their obnoxious and worried calls.  “I’m fine.  See u in the morning.”  She spilled into a cab along with the couple from the night club.  

It was still dark out when Elise opened her eyes.  The alarm clock on the nightstand she didn’t recognize let her know that it was 5 a.m and the two bodies tangled on either side of her were still breathing deeply.  With as much grace as she could muster half drunk Absinthe slipped off the bed, thankful that all her clothes were in a pile at the foot of the bed and her phone was dead but still in her coat pocket.  The morning was cold and snowy, cheeks burning from the frost as she waited for a Kingsman cab, it wouldn’t take her long to get back to the distillery after she made it to the hyper express at the shop.  

 At 6 Absinthe was in the break room making coffee to help sober her up when the door opened and Merlin walked in.  He paused, unsure if he should just leave or alert her to his presence.

“Elise...How, are you?“  

Her body went taut at his voice, but she didn’t turn around, determined to finish making herself a cup before she darted out of the room.

“I’m doing great.  How are you?“

“It’s good to see you.“  He said softly, walking closer to her

She didn’t respond to that and continued to stir in her sugar.  Elise could feel him just standing there behind her, staring at her.  Nerves on end she turned to go keeping her head down to avoid his gaze because she had gone this long without seeing him and dammit she wasn’t gonna ruin her streak now.

“Wait.“  He stepped in front of her, “look at me, please.  I jus’ want to make sure we’re on good terms.  Please, Elise.“

That was a mistake because she looked awful.  The hollowness in her eyes let him know that whatever was going on with her most likely had something to do with him.  

“Sure, Hamish.  We’re on ok terms.“

He frowned at that and raised a hand towards her face as if to cup it, his thumb brushing against a bit of old mascara on her cheek before pulling back.  The silence was heavy and he opted for a hand on her shoulder instead, he just needed to touch her.

“Can I go now?”  It wasn’t a sharp question like it should have been.  It was small and weak.

“Ya, ya sorry.“  

The door clicked shut behind her and Merlin looked down at his hand, wondering why he couldn’t just leave her alone. 

[narwhalhowell-blog]

danandphilnado --> narwhalhowell

i don’t have that many followers so i guess this isn’t a HUGE deal, and timezone wise no one is on so posting this now is stupid bUT IM AN AUSTRALIAN DAMMIT and i will yolo in my weird and untimely ways

basically i’m overhauling the aesthetic/branding of this blog (and me) with a lil exposition on why and yeah read below for pretentious over-explanation of something that’s #notabigdeal. also very explicit talk about phan and phandom and all that jazz so if you wanna fite me, you’ve found the post for you! basically i emotionally exploded on the page so like... yeah.

rightio, even though i’m relatively new to the phandom, i’m sort of not??? i started watching dan and phil in december last year and got a tumblr for them in about march i think ? either way, my blog was all over the place and it’s messy and i mean, that part of this overhaul is evident enough. 

but i’m 19 (turning 20, i hate my age, dONT LOOK AT ME) and even though age isn’t a direct correlation to the phandom itself i found myself more on the outer because 1. i’m an awkward person and never talk to people lol (2 bc this is a sideblog but that’s a whole other issue) and 3. i don’t really have anything to contribute ???

OKAY NOW I’M GOING TO TALK ABOUT PHAN

i have never shipped real people before even in my trashy 13 year old 1d phase but dan and phil seemed special to me in that regard, and i fell into the trap of shipping them as many of us do and when i figured out what a demon and an anti was i always thought i was some attractive grey, until slowly my posts have become more and more demon as is my state of mind. now though, i’m just thinking to myself... i love dan and phil for who they are as people, the enjoyment they bring to my life, not the thrill of them being together or not. for many people it’s obvious they’re together, others sit on the fence, and then the rest just adamantly refuse such wild claims. thing is, i’m sure emotionally my allegiance will probably waver all the time - but i don’t want this blog to be about their relationship as a couple, i want it to be about their love. the love of their work, love of their fans and of those around them, and their love for each other (platonically, romantically, whatever way). 

i also wanna say that even though it’s so good that this phandom is so close, and people tag their faves in posts and there’s just a positive vibe??? to me there’s a certain cliqueiness to it all that just makes me feel... inadequate. idk, i’m sure this would change if i talked to people bUT

the point is, i’m changing this blog. from now on, i’m going to post COMPLETELY POSITIVE AND UPLIFTING dan and phil content (with no judgement of the boys, their relationship, or the phandom’s perception of the relationship). honestly, you can be a demon or a napstablook (i had no idea what to call the middle ground fans but this seemed about right lmao) or an anti and i promise you’ll always be accepted here. <3

also i kinda wanna get into non-romantic fanfic writing??? like idk, little drabbles about dan and phil’s friendship and most will be comedy probably but yeah just “dan and phil friendly” fics where the purpose is to appreciate and thank them as opposed to shipping them ??? i know no one will read them lmao but i wanna say i’m contributing to the fandom so lol

i’ll still post about skam until it ends (rip) but for the most part this is still a dan and phil blog. 

but yeah, i think finishing all my exams (and possibly failing lol) has given me perspective about what’s important. i wanna be that happy, pun-making positive member that probably isn’t popular but isn’t part of drama either and no matter where dan and phil go in their careers, i’ll be here to support them, and support all of you incredible phandom members too. <3

if you actually read this omg LET ME GIVE YOU ALL THE INTERNET HUGS

but basically i changed my url, ill change all my icons and things soon and basically i want this to be a more inclusive, kind, positive blog <3 thank you lovelies for reading !

[ainchase]

there were nerfs? wasnt it just the pvp and pve tool seperation? so only skills in pvp was nerfed?

hahahahahahaha

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I cant bear to repeat myself again so here’s a conversation I had:

Friend: Anyway, wanna do something together?Me: you mightMe: not feel likeMe: doing anythingMe: if I told you what happened last nightFriend: What happened?Me: check the patch note.. that they didnt even bother to write out properly in fear of what players will say…………

Me: literally says “check the detail in game after maint”Friend: …..this is scaring meMe: and so everyone had to search and dig through elwiki and namuwiki elsword to compare how much they nerfed everything both pve and pvpMe: lolFriend: ….well shitFriend: okay, FUCK YOU KOGFriend: FUCK YOUMe: lol yeah thought you’d react that wayFriend: Low kick and back kick nerfFriend: Airelinna nerfed againFriend: let me guess, our passive gutted even furtherFriend: and crescent kick probs nerfed tooFriend: dkb nerfed…Friend: god they nerfed literally everythinFriend: what the fuckFriend: and let me guess monsters are just as strong as beforeFriend: god dammit KOGFriend: what are you smokingFriend: are you TRYING to make people quit?Me: pvp and pve skill separation they saidMe: when in fact it was basicallyMe: HEY LETS JUST NERF EVERYTHING AS A BIG FUCK YOU TO PLAYERSFriend: I don’t mind the pvp nerfs, it’s that they fking nerfed pve for NO DAMN REASONFriend: There’s LITERALLY NO JUSTIFICATION AT THIS POINTMe: I know right, I mean the whole purpose of pvp and pve separation was so that pve will be left untouched lmaoFriend: exactlyFriend: and they fuck it up anywayMe: dude they didnt even post the details of the nerf lolMe: like how they always do for balance patchFriend: how is it possible that you can’t even do a damn separation correctly without fucking that upFriend: yeah cause they knew they were fucking the playersMe: lolFriend: I’m so upset right nowFriend: You can probably tellFriend: I wouldn’t curse like this otherwiseFriend: BUT I"M SO ANGRY GRRRMe: ya know whats even scarierMe: this is just for the 1st jobFriend: what 1st jobMe: I mean this isnt allMe: theres moreMe: LOLFriend: I mean I’m completely not caring about Ain at all right now, I’m too pissed. And what do you mean this isn’t all? My WS unique skills got nerfed tooFriend: wait a secondFriend: holy shit you’re right they didn’t..oh dear god noFriend: NON NONONONONONOMe: 던전/대전 스킬 툴팁 분리 & 밸런스 개편 - 기본 전직에 이어 캐릭터별 1차 전직 스킬 툴팁 분리 및 밸런스 개편이 진행됩니다~!Friend: NONONONONONOFriend: NONONOBONOFriend: FUCK YOUR HAPPY EXCLAMATION POINTFriend: -beats poster to death with exclamation point-Friend: -logs off in frustration- you were rightFriend: they’re going to gut airelinna and nature force, I can feel itFriend: the only two things that make us still viableMe: a lot of people were sayingMe: they “balanced” with +11 users in mind???Me: and I was likeMe: what is this, LoL, where they balance around pro players? lmaoFriend: That’s what itfeels likeFriend: how the hell is an aspiring WS supposed to deal with thisMe: yeah cuz people kill things too fast, oh no, better nerf everyone and screw over 99% of the populationFriend: you know, let the people who paid shit-tons of money to you to kill everything STAY AS THEY ARE SO YOU DON’T PISS OFF YOUR INCOME SOURCESMe: do you know how many people dont even have a +7 weap .. I dont think KOG realizes itFriend: And the people who don’t? pfftFriend: going to be damn near uselessMe: everyone died lolMe: quite literally everyone, I dont think Ive seen a class/char whose name wasnt shouted all night on the megaphoneMe: most notably uhhMe: IP, DWMe: who elseMe: WS?Me: CAMe: ohMe: how could I forgetMe: MMFriend: So, basically, half the classes I actually care aboutMe: rip MMFriend: and MM AGAINMe: and they buffed some of the USELESS skills lmaoFriend: DiE took the bullet first, guess it was his turn to dieMe: they increased the damage from Queens Throne and Force Field upon activationMe: and this MM on megaphone wa slike “what the fuck?? do you expect me to kill things with a buff???”Friend: IKRFriend: all our special actives are literally worthless shit nowFriend: like..they take more MP and longer to do less damage than active spamMe: our WS guildie was likeMe: “I guess I have to use phoenix to make a living as WS”Friend: I don’t think we have to stoop that low yetFriend: at least not until they nerf WS actives too -_-Me: I knew KOG dont have employees who actually play the damn gameMe: when we said “please separate pvp and pve skills” we meant, “give our old skill strength back for pve and leave the current ones for pvp”Me: but what they heard was Me: -slips 20 bill- “hey. nerf everything.“Friend: yeah that’s what I was about to sayFriend: they CLEARLy don’t play the game themselves and actually farm their own gearMe: the game-breakingly stronk people are prob likeMe: less than 2% of entire user populationMe: and quite franklyMe: theyre the ones paying them their paycheck lolMe: so uh why piss them off? why piss everyone off??? idkMe: weird logicFriend: exactly my point

Note: They did the separation and the balancing together at the same time

[jjkfire]

Dumpling anon here, so well that I did not expect, to be attacked like this. I thought to just stop by and see if you had already received my ask and what do I get?? 12k words of heart beatings, tears and uncontrolable feels. Why did I even sign up for this nvm I already told u your writing's too good dammit but srsly i had to stop reading after the second section already bc my heart couldnt handle AND THEN YOU HIT ME WITH THE LAST ONE LIKE WHY SHE LEAVE WITHOUT TELLING CHIMCHIM

Dumpling anon said:

LIKE THATS NOT THE WORST YOU HAD TO LET HER PHONE BREAK TOO hoowww whyyyy i mean this must mean angst and insecurity in the next part isnt it? like chimchim is broken and emotional and then main character believes it was just a fling while he wants more and gosh if this is not one of my favourite works on tumblr then i don’t even know anymore Bless you you kind human being

!!! sorry it took quite a while for me to answer this aha, hadn’t had the chance to use my laptop all day but he he he he he, that was a fun chapter no? one of your favourite works on tumblr??? i’m crying. but yes my dude, i guess we shall see what’ll happen in the upcoming chapter (: (: (:

oohhh i almost forgot hehe I saw that your from Malaysia which i find so coincidental since my father was born there and it kinds of makes me feel more connected to you somehow even if i dont even know what you look like but just knowing that you live there and ive been there before and love the culture and everything like sorta blows my mind even though it’s not really special I’m probably just being a bit weird but yeah just thought it’s cool that you’re from my and my father’s too and everything have a good evening/morning day dunno haha byeeeee 

ahh so you’re half-malaysian? HELLO FELLOW COUNTRYMAN. that’s pretty cool tho, what a coincidence! I hope you visit Malaysia more (: I love this country with all my heart. Did you visit KL or? and haha no you’re not being weird at all! I genuinely think this is really cool bc like honestly what are the chances??? There aren’t too many Malaysians on here but I’ve seen quite a few and it’s always nice to see more Malaysians, even half-Malaysians or people who just love Malaysia lmao.

Dumpling anon here i already just left a thread of messages lol but I also forgot to mention that you really shouldn’t worry about how long you take to update bc you write a lot and it would be impossible to expect you to be able to produce works asap like a snap of the fingers and it’s great quality and things like that take time since you also still have studies to follow so yeah just wanted to tell you that too your hard work is really appreciated and no need to rush we’ll be patient xxx

ahhh you’re always so so so nice and i appreciate you so much! Thank you so much for being so kind (’: It’s just that I understand being the reader and wanting updates quick and myself as a writer, it’s like I’m super excited to share the story with you guys and wanna put it out asap too! but yeah life gets busy sometimes ): thank you though for the reassurance and ah, you’re just the best! LOVE U DUMPLING ANON