#💌 mailed to hiraeth

[chiyoso]

...

sir pls fuck me-

aines i know

i fucking blushed after writing it, thinking of his voice saying this threat

like where the fuck did that come from hello??? my brain is like, hnng??? im in my jing yuan phase again

story

[sennsational]

# ઉ˚࿐— writings [🖋] : all of my writing

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© sennsational 2024 - all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, or repost my works and claim it as yours.

[chiyoso]

OHHHH dragon dan heng and cynosure reader fighting is jhgfvgbhnjmk. specially since his voicelines indicate him trying to do anything BUT fight people XD. imagine the reader just hounding him whispering 'fight me'.

IL ! dan heng : i am not here to stoke conflict.

cynosure reader : bet *draws spear* FIGHT ME!

IL ! dan heng : no.

cynosure reader : FIGHT ME >:DDDD!!!

IL ! dan heng : no.

cynosure reader, scratching at the express window : f i g h t m e.

IL ! dan heng : NO IT'S 3 IN THE FUCKING MORNING -

ouuuu <333 its youuuu !!! you were here ever since my chapter released only had like 50 likes under omg hiii!!! @ainescribe

ajdofkrlf this just invoked so much inspiration in me im absolutely brimming with motivation- not to mentiom my story is being so well received (THAT I DIDNT EXPECT AT ALL)

im considering your idea but like- im having trouble deciding if i should stick completely to canon events in hsr like the new quest or ill make my own after ch2's events, def help me with the poll pretty pls <3 any opinion is wanted!

hehehebehr im gushing and blushing thinking abojt fighting IL!dan heng in cynosure

[chiyoso]

Naming myself back cause he's FUCKING BACKK INTHIS BITCH😩🤚

WAITTJ HEAR ME OUT TOJII N A REAL TIGHT SWEATER LET ME BREATHE LMAKSK💀💀😤

ANON YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW BADLY I RESONATE WITH YOUR WORDSSSSSSS JUST FUCKIJG LOOK AT HIM

this made me wanna do a thirst/hc for toji abt us fawning over his attire SHITTTTTT

HES BACKK HES BACK HES BACKKKK

[chiyoso]

IM SORRY I WENT RO THE WRONG PLACE but i voted for hod!! but also what if senti!reader (yatta!!)

i havent

played hi3 for so long actually help

@chocogi <33 🤭 welcome again!

hi3/hsr fans needed!!!

project of stellar chasm (herrscher!reader x hsr universe)

i actually thought of senti!reader as well, because i thought of a scenario about this;

herrscher of sentience!reader can might as well control the aspect of the mental state, yes?

and about the problem of rebirth to Vidyadhras................the moment they lose their memories, personality and their whole essence in their next hatching rebirth

yall know where im going with this hm?

what if, senti!reader is able to help with that scenario as well? regaining certain memories that invokes feelings of familiarity, nostalgia and basically just- yknow, bring back a past life with their consent!

but honestly, i feel like i can only make headcannons/certain scenarios about it because i have a different story planned for stellar chasm in mind!

[chiyoso]

I wanted the stellar chasm to win so bad because I’ve been dying to read a hi3 related fics to hsr. Hi3 lore is so interesting to me not to mention Welt is literally from the hi3 universe so it would be so interesting to see a fellow trailblazer from the hi3. And even if the stellar chasm doesn’t win, I’m rooting for more hi3 related content from you🫶🏼

Thank you so much for indulging my hi3 x hsr obsession, ilysm💕

-⭐️ anon

welcome lovely ⭐ anon!!!

its people like you why i want to indulge in hi3 x hsr content as well! its inevitable since our beloved welt yang is most definitely canonically connected to hi3! i want to indulge you all with this crossover soon and please do not fret! i heavily want to work on stellar chasm as well!

actually, i call upon you and other hi3/hsr fans for the project of stellar chasm!

i was leaning towards this ↓

since currently, i believe there is no one in the story whom harbors this? unless something happened within the contents of the previous era? i'm not aware so please indulge me! i want to give our welt yang relief having another familiar presence within the astral express <33 🤭

and of course, since the sea of quanta is a vast, limitless flexible amount of mystery and chaos, i plan to start the story with herrscher!reader over there, perhaps a pseudo-herrscher? or a herrscher created/born from the manifestation of the sea of quanta? orrr... a known s rank valkyrie that has befallen into the depths of the sea of quanta for a mission with perhaps bronya or another scenario that i want to make sense out of! please, do indulge! 🤭

for the people who want to be informed on what a herrscher is; (hi3)

[chiyoso]

I wouldn’t mind doing a better character analysis for Toji, or doing one for suguru! I’m all for breaking the characters down to study them! 😁

IF YOU WILL- YES PLEASE!!!!

miss... your toji analysis made me so damn excited and imagining toji getting soft for someone so gentle and genuine is such a GREAT headcannon!!! i love asking people who genuinely have a great understanding for characters!

i struggle with analyzing/putting dark content in my fics because my moral compass is a damn cockblock to what i wanna write!!!! and toji... (if serial killer, why daddy shaped)

if you want to and have the time

please! i would love for you to do more! NNNGH YOUR TOJI OBSERVATIONS REALLY MADE ME SO SOFT AND I BLUSH EVERYTIME I REREAD IT

(cough i kinda want to request you toji headcannons x a self insert of me hehe)

[chiyoso]

I think it's just me who checks your account constantly for updates..

constantly?

😌

can't help but think of this as a confession (blushing)

grr ive heavily associated you with wanderer/scara so im like so giddy whenever i see notifs from you

[chiyoso]

hira hira hira !!! hello !!! i wanted to greet once again a happy birthday (if it's still september first) and i hope you had fun when you were outside! i hope you spent your day happily and filled with gifts and love by the people who adore you <3

*rubs hands and clears throat* i now shall state my purpose of being back here again. please be warned about my idea, i think it's kind of triggering

i just wanna see a brainrot of mine be known by other people, and by that i mean [name] being pathetically in love with scaramouche that she lets herself be trampled over, be ridiculed, be the second choice, be out casted, be hated, be used as a mere plaything, be willingly manipulated, be the one always taking the blame until they just break down in tears, wondering what they did wrong that scaramouche wouldn't even look their way (inspired by what i feel what the song is about — i know you by faye webster)

yes, hira, i am perfectly fine, no need to worry about me :3 yes, hira, i don't mind with this mail not being posted !!! and yes, hira, i won't mind that you'll delete this if this made you uncomfy !! i hope you have a nice day, and always stay safe and happy !!!! mwa :3

JIJI — lovely, what a warm welcome (i just got home a few mins ago)

honestly, you've come to the right place, i love reading and writing dark content — and it may be hard to believe, but the things you mentioned in your idea? my little 15-17 years old self experienced it, not to mentio- i'll give you a small little rant about my ex in the past, perhaps to give you ideas in the process as well! (and yes, you can absolutely discuss things like this with me, i told you lovely, i'm absolutely open minded with anything and i tend to have a level headed/calm and open response, even with a taboo subject) without further ado

TW: HEAVY TOPICS, LONG READ, HIRAETH'S RELATIONSHIP LORE UNDER CUT

here, my naive 15 year old idled about in life with suicidal and depressed tendencies. dull, overworked and exhausted, in result of having to perform in plenty of stages that involved my skills as a musician. don't get me wrong, performing itself was great, taking the center stage with my other young performers, receiving gifts after — all was good in that aspect. but the negative began to seed, based off my desires to love or be enticed with the ideas of love, being cared for, being cherished. a busy life became dull, and the bullying i received from my classmates, teachers standing by — my world had dulled, causing me to drop out ultimately. i wanted to be cared for, a voice kept repeating inside my head. familial love in my eyes heavily differed to the love i craved subconsciously.

unfortunately for me, i was too observant, too keen, too aware. aware of my negative surroundings, growing negativity, my growing desire for love, but the world had continued to fail me continuously at the time, until i had enough, until i grew exhausted to the point where i wanted to — well, dying isnt really the best word, but i just wanted to live another life, i wanted to rest, i wanted to sleep endlessly.

and then.

three days. three days before i took action to cease my life, a game piqued my interest (knights chronicle) i was honestly in total auto mode, decisions weren't 100%, you could say i was mindlessly making decisions, my subconscious protecting me in its own way by distracting me with this "game" i impulsively downloaded.

skipping, i met him.

my ex. i had a persona on of course, to hide my abyss. i was a flirt, i was confident, i was who i write today on my fictions. this sudden persona? i have analyzed myself back then, and i've come to a conclusion that it was a persona manifested by desperation, absolute desperation to — yup, that's right, my rooted, inner desires, to love.

oh, i endeared ppl in that public chat — but i dont genuinely know what the fuck compelled me to my ex, but it was a force even i was unaware of why i felt a pull towards him, i still cant answer that myself. i flirted nonstop towards him specifically, relentless i was, desperate i was, but then it happened, i jokingly plugged in my instagram handle in chat — but he, he fucking remembered it, MESSAGED me, causing to stir hidden, brewing emotions, unaware that this simple, yet impactful act, would be my demise until feb-march of 2023.

oh it was lovely at first, i fell "in love" immediately. (nnh im cringing) and i let him know it, but it was one sided at first. i was heartstruck, lovestruck — no, lovesick. and this feeling dissipated any intention of suiciding. he was my savior, he was a savior in my eyes. shit, i was hopelessly... hopeless. shunning my family out, everyone, even my friends, fuck, and it was still one sided after a few months of friendship with him.

but since he voiced out ever so clearly, that he wasn't ready yet

my feelings wavered of course, and this carnal desire to be loved was immense, so, naturally, the husk of me sought out other attention, and i met someone online (imvu), he was sweet, a connection established, things were good — or... so i thought as i was blocked the next day. i was so desperate, so fucking naive and desperate that i went through his friends list and messaged a random friend. oh i was hopeless, so damn hopeless. but the guy unblocked me momentarily, i sought out closure, he reassured, and then just when i thought things were good again, he blocked me, once more. and our last messages together were "goodnight" to each other.

but this encounter with him?

i voiced this whole thing to my ex, and

at that day, at the same time, he confessed his feelings.

quite the coincidence, is it not?

so in my desperate state of self, i grew to love him as intensely, more than before. and things were good, at least for a few months.

relationships, of course, we had to show our "comfortable sides" eventually, no? and that we did. we were... different, too different, the opposite, fuck i cannot- i do not know where to begin. views, political views, the world, our interests, all was different, he was more difficult than i thought, more different, opening a world of new negativity within me, but guess what, i was still hopelessly and naively in love.

later.

all would come crashing down, one topic led to another, then another, until it became an argument, and he would later reveal that he merely saw this relationship — as a companionship. a companionship. not even a relationship. oh! oh! he stated that he viewed me as a puppy, a dog, and he was a master, CARING for the dog. a "conpanionship." by the way, in later, much later events, we would have multiple arguments about me expressing about the past, and if i bring this shit up, he would go

"not again, grace. i thought we were already done with the past, the past is done and i've already apologized"

"not again..."

"can you.... not bring the word (companionship) up? it traumatizes me grace..."

something along those lines. anyhow.

oh, ill indulge you, the moment he tried to leave me the first time — i begged, begged endlessly, crying, choking sobs, worrying my family. he stayed... because... i don't know? did he want us to work? did he pity me? did he love me? did he- yeah i dont know and ive long forgotten.

much, much later, we would have the worse arguments ever, until the rainbows, the sunshines and the good times were buried with our impactful arguments. i will admit, if we werent arguing, all was... fine. not dull. fine.

but shit, our arguments, i would be like this;

H: "PLEASE please... please... please don't leave me, dont leave me dont leave me dont leave me... please... i just- i just need reassurance... reassurance, its all i need, please...."

two ways, he complies because i need to fucking guide him since he cant come up or initiate his own, or he fucking goes away and gets burnt out and needs to leave the "argument"

i was BEGGING for the bare minimum. just- just if you've seen nat's recent scaramouche fic, our relationship was like that, but much more heavier, much more... i dont know.

RIGHT. AND WHEN I HAD ENOUGH AND WANTED TO LEAVE, HE WOULD FUCKING FOLD. HE WOULD THREATEN TO KILL HIMSELF. ?????????¿???2?!2?2!?21!1?

we broke up many times, and got back together many times. it was a cycle, a cycle of hell that i endured for 5 years. not to mention, HE was the one who brought up not having feelinge for him anymore, HE was the one who said he will change, he will end this cycle.

(i also could send ss in your asks if you wish, i dont really mind)

"grace, you're a hypocrite for wanting revenge!"

"this is so toxic..." (him referring to my expressing and begging for the bare minimum)

"please dont tell me im doing the bare minimum" - him, again

i believe im being biased, but nothing can quell the hidden hatred and anger i've developed from being with him lmao

oh when i initiated the breakup talk (again) this year, he beat me first to it, to utter the words. and you wanna know what he said blatantly?

"yeah i... im just scared of it coming from you"

BEAT ME TO IT BECAUSE HE FEARS THE REALITY OF ME FINALLY BEING DONE

and yes, i do not deny the hardwork, the good times, but it is all buried underneath the fucking trauma he induced lmao, the shitty arguments, the emotional trauma, he was so emotionally unintelligent.

and guess. fucking. what.

he started to do the shit ive begged for AFTER i was finally done with him, which was just a few months ago of our officially, official breakup. playing valorant after expressing not wanting to play it, calling it a trash game, playing genshin now but before he found it so utterly boring, and SO FUCKING ON.

ahem. this is just 12% of the contents in my relationship previously, im just shortcutting things because this reply is getting longer than i thought...

genuinely sorry for the vent lore 😭 but i hope this experience of mine helps you in your writing and especially dolly 🫶

[chiyoso]

Hiiiii

I am checking in on some of my mutuals because I was away for a while.

How are you? I hope you have been eating and sleeping well. If not, imma haunt your dreams 😼

Your new work was so nice *chefs kiss*

Don’t push yourself too hard, love and make sure you are kind to yourself, okay?

Treat yourself the way you would treat your favs. That helps a ton

And and I love you 🥰 and I am here for you so reach out whenever you feel like it, okay?

WELCOME BACK NAT!!!! im so glad you're back!!!

your absence was definitely noticed!!! i missed you!! hehe, and thank you for my recent work, its just a silly impulse drabble derived from my sudden innate desires the night i published it!

with how i'm faring... it's been really hard for me to type anything into my drafts, that includes the violinist x alhaitham reader im cooking up, along with the long ass scaramouche fic that im prioritizing right now, but eventually ill get them both out! - OH and ive recently met alhaitham in the archon quest!!! HE'S SO DREAMY AND CUNNING AND CALCULATIVE I HAVE A CRUSH AND HE CALLS OUT TO ME TO WRITE ABOUT HIM AAAHHHH

gahhh i miss your writing too! i find myself rereading your lyney fic when im in need of lyney (which is often) i also cant wait for my own requests too! you've been hard at work right? dealing with whatever life throws at you? i just wanted to let you know, thank you for being there for me! as a writer, friend and a mutual

ilysm nat! may alhaitham come home to you in his next rerun hehe

[chiyoso]

Hira. Your shit is so fucking pretty. I COULD NEVER LIKE MY STUFF IS LIKE....MESSY, BUT GOD YOUR STUFF IS SO PRETTY. ILYSM HIRA I STILL HAVE A LOT OF REQUESTS BUT LIKE I PROMISE ONCE IT LESSENS YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEND A REQUEST 🫶

hi crush why does your cussing and your nickname for me remind me of scaramouche

ahem, cough, chokes

i

thank you for stopping by...

take

take your time and im aware that i havent been in your inbox because i know you have a llooooottttt of requests (because you're that amazing of a writer duh)

cant wait to request you (because i kinda want to do a self insert of me x wanderer/scara, and lmk if you write for other genshin men too 🤌)

[chiyoso]

Hello agaaaaaiiin!

Been a while since my first message hmm?

Well, I have yet returned with more compliments and acknowledgements!

And so, I had a wee peeksy at the recent drabble for the Herrscher of Death!Reader x HSR fic, and again I gotta say, I adore how much you really went into the mindset of the respective characters. How impressed I am with the amount of emotional articulation you displayed there (with Welt and Blade in particular) cannot be understated, I could really feel what they were feeling. And I found the personality of the Herrscher to be very entertaining, she's someone who clearly comprehends just how powerful she is, what she's capable doing... if she weren't fighting for humanity.

It was equally entertaining to witnessing a god-like being such as Nanook being humbled. In such an unexpecting manner as well!

All around, another wonderful piece, even if it isn't a proper story chapters type of thing. And, as a result of reading this, I now look forwards to when you start posting the actual story with much excitement.

Until then though, have fun writing!

🥹

your timing is so fucking impeccable you know that? god dammit i find myself wavering at your words, taking the time to bring support to me... gods, and i definitely, definitely remember you, you sweet lil' thang

first off, i continue to keep forgetting that the power of words can affect others, even if my own words can't affect me, i just- ahhh wyrm you're so lovely for this, thank you so much for your words that i NEEDED oh so heavily

all the love,

hiraeth

[chiyoso]

4. and 53. please

oh my, hi there lovely 🤭 im gonna go on a rambling spree im so sorry in advance

1) what do i look forward to

this one is vague for me, because there's many meanings behind this simple question, but ill take it as a question to everything thats going on in my life

- i'm heavily looking forward to receive the genshin merch i ordered for myself AS a material gift to myself

- i'm looking forward to cosplaying this anime character called jabami yumeko from kakegurui in december with a few friends!

this pretty mf ↓

- annnd i'm looking forward to @teapartyspilled upcoming fics

- i'm looking forward to college, to moving out, earning money through art commissions, writing commissions if i can and etc

- and i'm looking forward to next game updates from hoyoverse

shit im looking forward to a lot of things more than i thought

- lastly (not) i'm looking forward to writing again, i miss it. i have so many ideas but my burnout is not helping me at all.

2) 5 things that made me happy

EASY

1) LYNEY, SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER, NEUVILLETTE, PANTALONE, DILUC, AL-HAITHAM, BLADE, WELT YANG, JING YUAN, DAN HENG, IMBIBITOR LUNAE, LUOCHA/OTTO, YAOSHI, NANOOK, LAN, FUCKING HSR/GENSHIN MEN, MUZAN, RENGOKU, SANEMI, KALPAS, KEVIN (HI3), GETO, SUKUNA, TOJI

(notice how they range from traumatized, problematic, dead, morally good, morally bad, morally grey and fucking they harbor some type of trauma 😭)

2) ... ice cream, cookies, italian food

3) supposedly mean nicknames like "dumbass." "idiot." said with a hidden affection (SCARAMOUCHE, SANEMI)

4) @teapartyspilled @ainescribe @ciarchivez @wanderingconstellations these people make me really happy, really really happy and comfy

5) lyney and scaramouche

[chiyoso]

hira hira !!! im probably sounding like an attention seeker (sad to admit but i am) but i wanted to show you a tokyo revengers fic i made back when i was obsessed with it! it's angst though, so lmk if you wanna see it so i can post it here for you !!!

GIVE ME

GIVE ME

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW OBSESSED I AM WITH DRAKEN RN

[chiyoso]

Don't want to ruin the surprise but I have a silly birthday gift in the works hdbdbdb.

Happy birthday hira!! I promise I'll finish it soon!

aine 🥹

you're the first to announce to have a gift for me 🥹🥹 my family is being so distant and secretive i feel lonely 🥹 ilysm 🫶 sm

[chiyoso]

Hi Hira!! How are you? I hope you're doing well. As I said, yesterday was just a depressive episode. I'm doing well actually, and getting my life back together 🫶 I hope you're doing well, because I am!! With love, from Yua <33

ME RIGHT NOW (me everytime i receive an ask from you)

you made me worry you know!!! but i also cant help but relate to you... i dont think im sad sad but the symptoms i'm showing everyday calls for depression lmao - which is meh, we'll get through it since we have our fictional men and our imaginations <3

err i am anxious about my new following... am getting a lot of support... WHICH IS NOT BAD AT ALL!!! i just feel pressured a bit yknow? not to mention i still have a lot of things to edit... to draft, to write, fuuuuck i just wanna play genshin for a bit w/u or my moots (but i assume you dont play in asia servers hnngh)

love you yua 🥺 my wanderer <3