#i dont understand how theres no human decency

[mooninagust]

the rage i'm feeling bc what do you mean a criminal !! s offender!!! can, just like that, become a president

[writingpuddle]

just had to say, i loved your tags on that post about the upperclassmen and how they treat kevin/andrew/neil. fandom tends to work on this "they're all assholes" beliefs, and it's not necessarily untrue. but i think people tend to forget just how unlikeable kevin and andrew are from the upperclassmens perspective. i think people also forget the upperclassmen didn't just blindly love neil. for all his faults, like you said, he was pretty chill. he was much easier to get along with and it helped massively that unlike kevin/andrew he actually wanted to make a connection with the upperclassmen.

im glad my tags resonated with you! i have this half-cooked thesis that maybe one day i'll get around to fleshing out about the difference between individual responsibility and collective responsibility that i always think about when i see this conversation pop up--something about how yes, we as a society have a responsibility to people who have been harmed to try and help them recover, but that responsibility doesnt actually apply to every individual person. in this case, the idea that wymack founded the foxes (an institution) in order to help people move forward and build a future doesnt mean that every individual involved in the foxes has to invest all their energy in that same goal. in fact its pretty wild to expect every beneficiary of a service to simultaneously provide it to those around them.

the institution has to be be fair, has to provide help independent of some arbitrary category of 'deserving' but individuals...dont have to do that. every fox signed on to escape their own nightmare, not to help fix the other foxes. the upperclassmen have no responsibility to reach out to kevin and andrew when they have been so hostile in return. wymack has to, because he made a commitment to doing so. the upperclassmen didnt.

and as you said--the question of why the upperclassmen were nicer to neil is straightforwardly answered by he wasnt mean to them. he was sometimes unnecessarily blunt or rude (if we got what we deserved we wouldnt be foxes) but he was also the one who gave them awed compliments when he first started playing with them. he was the one who said we can win this. he was the one who shut kevin up when he started to be negative.

he was easy to like. part of that was intentional on his part--not that he was intentionally being likeable, but he was trying to portray himself to be less antagonistic than he really is. he tells us quite explicitly that he is portraying 'neil' to be meeker than his natural instincts, so he hangs out with the upperclassmen and is mostly at least neutral in terms of social hangouts and when it comes to exy he is extremely positive. and despite his occasional snaps at the upperclassmen, he actually rarely lashes out when its not deserved. his temper is reserved for riko and people who support him. kevin and andrew lash out at the upperclassmen in their own ways, and avoid them in many other circumstances, for reasons that are often obscure without neils insider knowledge. it isnt morally wrong to like someone who is easier to be around.

'why are they nicer to neil' because neil was nicer to them. thats how human interaction works. doesnt mean andrew and kevin didnt deserve help--but the person to provide that was the person who made a commitment to do it, not the people who just happened to be--effectively--their coworkers.

to sum up: everyone deserves human decency from everyone, but not everyone deserves friendship from everyone.

i guess--i dont want to get too antagonistic about this myself, because i actually doubt that many people have super simplistic views on this topic, theres just the occasional oversimplified post that gains a bit of traction. but i do think theres also a very fascinating tendency for people to try and make aftg into a neat didactic story about reaching out to people to understand them because neil reached out to andrew and it worked (and arguably saved both of them). but aftg isnt didactic. its not a prescription for how to behave. its made up. in real life, if i met andrew and it wasnt my job to help him, i would avoid him like the plague. sorry. i love him as a fictional character and i love him because i know his story but holy fuck i would not spend a minute in his company if i didnt have to.

friendship isnt social work. emotions arent activism. the upperclassmen didnt owe andrew and kevin their sympathy or their time just because they were traumatized. you cant control peoples emotional reactions to how they are treated. kevin and andrew treated them badly. neil largely didnt. thems, as they say, the breaks.

[nahalism]

Hey! I thought it was interesting when you said that cheating is a sign of not having self respect, I never really thought of seeing it that way. I wanted to hear your deeper thoughts on that, I would say it’s simply that your partner clearly doesn’t care about you or maybe your partner gets a kick out of hurting you (because some people are like that, I’ve heard them straight up say that it feels like they have control even if their partner doesn’t find out they enjoy that they’re messing behind their partner’s back) personally I never understood people who cheat that is honestly something I would never on bible do, the act of betraying the people who love you and that you love is unforgivable to me and that goes for any kind of betrayal not just between lovers.

i love topics like this & would ac love to discuss them with others at length more often cause i feel like theres so much to b said & so much to unpack/understand.

— the reason i say its a lack of self respect is cause a self respecting person doesnt need to play games for control or power. a self respecting person respects themselves for one, so they know how to respect others. but they also understand fundamental world truths (which is why they respect themselves) & so fill themselves from within, move towards situations that are authentic to them, & allow them to move with integrity and in purpose. as a consequence, they leave what they come into contact with, with love and better than they found it. even if they cause harm, (for example fall out of love with their partner & break things off) they have enough love and respect to handle it responsibly and respectfully. a self respecting person wouldnt get into a relationship with someone they want to cheat on, hurt, have control or power over. they would go toward someone they can love, be loved by, and build with. what your describing sounds like a person too afraid to face their demons, so their enacting the internal battle their avoiding externally, on another person. whatever abandonment/rejection they get joy from inflicting is exactly what they suffer from and 🤷🏽‍♀️. i dont get that kind of cruelty.

someone who doesnt respect themselves buys into illusions since the truth hurts too much. so they believe the external acts make up for what they lack internally (which is untrue), & as such they dont have a functioning relationship with themselves, let alone anyone else. hurting other people or yourself (even if it provides hedonistic pleasure) is just a temporary numbing agent. full stop. i can be worked thru when a persons willing, but if they aren't, people literally treat others like they treat themselves. i also think we attract what we are. so i think when someones been cheated on, the low self esteem / self respect is triggered in them, & that shame (especially when they may have ignored their intuition before it getting to that point), delivers such a big self esteem blow that they fall into the same pit as the cheater, if they werent already. anytime someone buys into the person who cheated's narrative, 'maybe i wasnt enough, maybe i was tooo much, maybe if i fucked them more, if i was sexier etc etc' thats whats happening. & its just like... no. allow it.

bottom line is, if someone has character and integrity, they would at the BARE minimum have the decency to tell the truth about what they feel or, become single before they move mad. theres literally no way around it, any explanation other than 'i was trying to fill a void' is an attempt to excuse or deflect. naturally that doesnt make the pain of betrayal any less painful, BUT it helps. cause someone whos moving like that is childish & not all they make themselves out to b which 1) makes it easier to get over them, but 2) makes it easier to have mercy.

big up all the reformed cheaters & accountable human beings that chose 2 have character. super sexy

[qualityrain]

i usually need a romantic relationship to get invested in a piece of media but wow honky got me by the throat with the sibling dynamics (that i care abt)!!

like. raven and owl? like my own sibling relationship frfr minus the attempted murders but boy dont i think abt dojng it! its the lack of understanding and theres only the very basic level of human decency to care. and even then you know they would both sell each other to satan for a corn chip (joke). its the mutual dislike. its the hating to be with them in the same room. its tolerating them being around because they’re useful. its being annoying unprompted its provoking out of nowhere its pissing the other off for no reason in particular you just want to let the other know that you’re better they’re shit they’ll never be shit. its why did you provoke that s rank valkyrie? you’re only making things harder for yourself. its when did you suddenly change to be so kind? its your expression changes so fast (derogatory). its he’s just that type of guy’s(derogatory). he hasnt changed all this time. when mei tells raven what happened and she goes oh i didnt think he would have that side it really do be like that! because when all you know is that this person annoys you and you hate their guts and when they’re vulnerable you’re just like. oh. they’re human too. and it FUCKS. and this is all the shit i made up in my head and theres only like 5 minutes of screentime and 10 lines between them and god why is it the closest thing to my sibling dynamic???

and then theres kosma and griseo who know each other for so so long and they know and understand each other so deeply and care so so so so so much and they both have their wants and goals but their top piority is always each others happiness. its the way kosma removes disturbances so griseo can paint in peace. its the way griseo takes kosmas place on the ark because she knows he wants to be a hero. its the way kosma protects her from dangers and griseo protects his interests. its the way griseo knows kosma so deeply even without elysias handbook on how to understand kosma. its the way he asks hua to trick griseo so she doesnt know shes like killing him in a way to outplay the herrscher of corruption. its the way she knows what he was doing the whole time and killed herself in the same way because she doesnt want him to be alone. its the way she doesnt want kosma to be alone in the simulation AND in the real world. its the way the last enemy to fight before HoC can kill griseo is kosma. its the way their simulations get to die together while in reality kosma is fucking dead on the moon while griseo is alive on the ark and mhy is so so so sick for that my god. its the way daybreak is actually carried by the children.its daybreak is the light from the nearest star that gives hope of illumination. its they left their own colours in a world of colours. its so so so sick of mhy how dare they separate kosma and griseo god i hate it here and er arc hurt my soul i am still mourning

[naphtalieze]

Idk man when i dont like or hate a ship i dont go around constantly making postS about how i hate the ship all whilst tagging said ship (not to mention promoting my ship in in the tag of the ship i hate) I understand when, where and how to insert my opinion properly. Like its fine u dont like a ship, but theres a point where it stops being "hating the ship" and is, instead, turned into "obsessed jobless antis with zero education on basic human decency and manner" but thats just me 🙂

[acidmatze]

Theres a guy in my group whos most likely not as "dumb" as the social workers think he is. And the only reason they think he is "dumb" is.. he doesnt talk very well. Which is a dumb reason to dismiss someone's intelligence but they somehow also completely fail to recognise Why he has issues talking. He's a refugee. He wasnt born here, no one in his family was. I dunno how long he has been here in Germany but apparently he didnt go to school here for long and since hes 21 at most that doesnt leave many years. For that short time his german is amazing tbh considering he had no one who taught him because his parents also had to learn from scratch. Also I Assume he has CP which also affects the way he pronounces words. So no wonder he struggles putting sentences together and seems unsure of what he wants to say or stops mid-sentence. Especially since everyone is so fucking impatient with him like Jesus Christ let him finish a sentence maybe before going HUUUH??? HUUUUH???? Can you speak faster please HUUUUUH??????? Geez I dont understand him all the time either but i at least wait until hes done talking its not that hard ugh. Also his spelling is flawless. He keeps asking me to look over his german exercises and i hardly can find any spelling mistakes and he writes just fine in kurdish. Maybe if the social workers werent so damn busy interrupting him and going HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH????? all the time they would actually understand him. But apparently thats completely beyond their capabilities and whats worse is that now everyone else in the groups keeps copying it.

Shit like this makes me wonder if I should just go back to my job cuz apparently trained people are incapable of showing basic human decency while it also reminds me of why i quit in the first place.

[blookmallow]

i mean, you can just Not like it but RPF is and,has been,a thing for a while. Like since there are famous people that others are attracted to. There's really no harm,as long as it isn't shoved on the person's face. This obviously excludes underage actors/celebrities if course. I dunno, it's a bit judgy.

man just because its been a thing for a while doesnt mean it should be. that is a real human person and its not healthy to idolize them to the point of thinking of them as a fictional character for you to play around with. its creepy, its objectifying, its stalkery, there is no reason to be writing smut fics about real actual people. you dont know them. being in the public eye does not mean you’re no longer allowed, like, decency and respect for boundaries. unless the person in question has outright said they dont mind it i guess? still weird

theres nothing wrong with being attracted to or having a crush on a celebrity, but you need to understand that they are real people, not anime waifus

if you’re writing character x reader, when its a Fictional Character, that’s different, theres nothing Wrong with that if its not like a fictional minor. i personally dont like it but if you wanna go write loki x reader go have fun just leave real actual people with their own lives and families out of it. how fucking unsettling would it be to come across a blog of someone you have never met who is openly writing fanfiction about having sex with you. thats what y’all are doing here

[dog-teeth]

what do u think of billie eilish? personally i don't care for her music n im kinda surprised by how popular she is, but more than that, being the same age as her the way the industry treats her like a 20something makes me pretty uncomfy :/

agreed, i could care less about her music but it honestly kinda sucks that shes famous, i feel bad for all young people who are famous. theres the huge issue of the sexualization of celebrity women, especially younger women & girls, plus i think existing in the public eye on that scale and having everything you do be consumed and judged by strangers is super damaging, it takes away their ability to grow up and make mistakes and have a private life. sometimes even having 15k followers on here is difficult for me and sends me into a really weird place emotionally. its hard to be a real person in the age of digital media. people often misinterpret your words and misunderstand who you are. i dont think humans are meant to be known to millions of strangers. i think being put in the spotlight like that can only be damaging especially for someone so young. i dont have any opinions on her music or who she is as a person, id like to treat her like id treat any other 18 year old stranger, with decency and respect and understanding that i dont actually know her

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 12 - Candy Page 18

==>

Time to see what all the fuss was about Page 18.  We’re with Jane... that might not be good.  Especially given Lollipop proximity.

Jane scoffing at troll genocide again.  :(

Gamzee seems more woke than Jane here.

GAMZEE: sO yOu SaYiN yOu NeEd DiFfErEnT sHoEs FoR yOuR hUmAn DiCkS aNd WhAt NoT?

Pfffff

Jane narrows her eyes at the disingenuous buffoon.

I dunno, he sounds like he’s being pretty goddamn ingenuous right now.

It’s not the first time they’ve had this conversation?  Are they black with each other or something??

What’s more likely is he’s attempting to get a rise from her. To get her a little hotter under the collar. To put her in a certain mood.

Oh my gosh she’s genuinely black for him, hahahahah

GAMZEE: AnD AlL I EvEr bEeN TrYiN To dO Is gEt yOu rIgHt tOo, WiTh mOrAlS AnD GoOdNeSs, AlL fIlLeD uP iNsIdE yOu As TiGhT aS yOuR tAsTy HoE bAlLoOnS aRe WiTh HuMaN mOo JuIcE.

Jesus christ that’s not the kind of metaphor i want to be hearing from canon

or anyone for that matter

JANE: No! I’d rather die than touch your disgusting clown baton ever again.

....yyyeah, context is showing she’s PROBABLY super Black into this.  Still, pretty jarring to see a clear consensual “NO” right in the middle of things.

Quit calling her a dairy queen!!! D: D: D:

Oh god they named the baby Tavros.

Alright, there’s some grade A discomfort in this scene, which I’m enjoying, really.  I can see why they singled out page 18.  I could traumatize some people with some of these paragraphs out of context.

HOO HOO HOO, THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO THE DARK CARNIVAL!!!

Eeeeuugh

JAKE: Anyway whats up with you? Hows life with davekat going? JADE: oh its great! im really glad i just went for it JADE: all of us together... it really is the best of every world

God damnit Jade why are you obliviously torturing them????????

You could’ve been REALLY GOOD for them both if you just FUCKING LISTENED TO THEM AND RESPECTED THEM INSTEAD OF SITTING ON THEM.

JADE: theres no way me and dave could have a regular baby together because im... JAKE: Whats wrong? JADE: well lets just say that after all the sburb stuff its done some things to my body JADE: like merging with bec mostly

Oh my FUCKING GOD please don’t canonize this.  This didn’t need to be spelled out so-- D:

jesus

D: D: D:

This... is actually making my stomach roil again????

like

not because id object to-- i mean, it’s one thing to deal with

FAN SCENARIOS

ISOLATED divergences from canon where she has to deal with that and its kind of hilarious, but can be safely ignored when it comes to her character arc as a whole

but once its CANON????????   D: D: D:

suddenly you can’t IGNORE the full import when you’re done with, like, an RP or something, of the psychological struggle she would be forced to deal with given an abnormal biological situation.  Instead of thinking “Oh, that could be pretty painful to deal with! Let’s explore it temporarily for fun” it becomes “Oh, that would be painful to deal with and you have to think about her having to deal with all the complications of that whenever you hear about her LITERALLY FOREVER.”  D:

andrew i know you couldnt resist because of how funny and practically-xenoprogressive it was but whyyyyyyyyy did you have to canonize that WHYYYY

Now instead of a fun joke thought it also has to be SAD FOREVER

AAAAAAAA  D’:

i dont know why this would be the line thats crossed to upset me

Rose surrogate?

JADE: no jake, dave wouldnt be the father in this scenario!

Pffffff.  Andrew’s just diving RIGHT into the, er, doggy fanfics here.  I should... TRY to lighten up about this.  Try.  D:

(...wait, shit.  Knowing my friend, THIS whole bit is why they alluded to this page.  God damnit.)

[[ EDIT:  askshenhibiki said:

Now that you read Candy 18, flash back to Meat when Roxy is talking about gender... and look at Jade's reaction looking at "where her hands rest on her lap". Yes, Meat hinted at that "mix" too.

Ah, let’s see...

ROXY: and so i got to thinking ROXY: what even is gender ROXY: amirite lol? JADE: oh yeah JADE: that makes sense i guess........

Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say. But I’ll refrain from any further comment. I’m staying away from this subject, from now on.

...yeah, guess Dirk at least had the decency not to spring all that on us before Jade got the opportunity to do it honestly. ]]

Guh, back to Jake suffering in his sad, trapped scenario.  I hope THAT gets at least resolved by the end of this.  Someone save Jake from this, because it looks like he’s not really that capable of saving himself?

==>

Dammit, Jade, I’m cringing at these descriptions of your intrusion.

Oh wow, John went for the mustache.  Guess we knew that from, like, his stuffed statue oldself?

Jade doesn’t pick up on the obvious subtext in the conversation, however, because she’s been willfully undermining the subtext in her own personal life for nearly a year now.

D:  D:  D:

Seriously, Jade, how is what YOU’RE doing any better than what you were frustrated at seeing THEM doing, avoiding the real feelings and truth of anything even if it was conspicuously on body-language display?

KARKAT: THE NEW ADMINISTRATION IS CRACKING DOWN ON CERTAIN KINDS OF INTERSPECIES ADOPTION LAWS.

It’s like Andrew wants us deprived of even a happy imagined future for Earth C on top of everything else!!!  What the hell! >:(

Is this about politics?  Is Andrew just venting his anger that the Orange Guy is going to get away with ruining everything forever??  Because as understandable as that is, he could at least give us some imaginary happyfutures to look forward to.

Reading on... Hm, yet another intentionally-misused fridging reference.

KARKAT: HIS RELATIONSHIP IS A FLAMING WRECK OF AN INTERSTELLAR WARSHIP HURTLING TOWARDS THE PLANET AT TERMINAL VELOCITY WITH THE ENTIRE CREW BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED UPON REENTRY, SHOVED STRAIGHT DOWN THE CHAGRIN TUNNEL AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHAT OUT THE OTHER SIDE, THUS FLOODING THE ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD WHEN IT CLOGS UP THE LOAD GAPER.

Yep, that triangle’s fucked.  Wonder if the conversation’s going to transition to the CURRENT triangle’s problems...

...yeah, John using the R word there isn’t far from the fucking truth from the looks of things.

JADE: maybe that would work for a few days, but one thing i learned from dating around a lot in my youth is that no ones going to leave a bad relationship until its THEIR idea to leave

She takes in a shaky breath and shuts her eyes. Her hair spills around her face when she leans forward to put her chin on her knees. Dave and Karkat exchange a look that is equal parts confused, miserable, and desperate.

Oh SHIT.  Is JADE going to be the one to finally vocalize about the problems here???

Something else comes hurtling out of the hole in the sky, too fast for Jade to catch. It hits the ground with a clap of green lightning. The collision sends a geyser of dirt, rock, and vapor into the air. Dave flash-steps to shield Karkat. Jade doesn’t move, taking the brunt of the explosion face on, using her abilities to warp the energy around her so that she’s a mote at the center of the storm. When the dust clears, she’s the first to jump in the crater, trailing smoke behind her.

There’s a body at the center of it. The torso is bloody, tangled, and curled into a fetal position. Its shoes are missing, but otherwise the outfit is quite familiar to her: it’s a dead ringer for her old Witch of Space uniform. Jade touches the body with the toe of her shoe, and then gasps when it rolls over to reveal its face.

JADE: its... JADE: ME???

Okay what the FUCK.  It sounds like there’s going to be some context for that postscript after all.  Something to bridge the gap between when that 16-yo Jade falls into the singularity and when Aradia goes off with her through a wormhole

I’m going to guess up front that this happens BEFORE the postscript... this younger version of Jade fell into the black hole and came out in THIS alternate timeline, possibly rather changed by the experience.  But then again, the way the sky opened up... actually, couldn’t that be just a “natural” manifestation of the black hole abilities encouraged by Calliope or done by the singularity alone, followed by later in the Postscript this Jade actually getting control of it??

And... reading on, from the sound of it, her eyes aren’t black yet, either.  Sounds like that’s to come, before the postscript.  Question being, is it alt!Callie black eyes, or some black-hole-powers visual manifestation?  Wait, never mind, I misread; this teenage Jade-corpse has NOT opened their eyes yet, so they couldn’t possibly tell, and the stuff about them “shaking” was about the adult Jade standing over her.  Never mind.  Let’s see which timeframe this Jade came from.

Also STOP TRAUMATIZING ADULT JADE ON SCREEN ITS NOT OKAY IM SICK OF IT ANDREW

==>

Page 20...

Stop letting babby not!Vriska bully babby not!Tavros.

Hm... same stupid tooth poison?  No, Jade didn’t get hit with a tooth... so it’s more getting hit with shards of spacetime and spiraling down a black hole.  Also whatever alt!Callie did to just barely keep her alive.

Hm, so the Heart stuff falls apart if you’re too separated from the mass-whole at Light’s center?  That’s certainly a hypothesis at least.

ROXY: sounds like its time for another funeral lmao

ROXY WAKE THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING A VAGUELY ROXY-LOOKING LMAO-ZOMBIE.  WHERE THE FUCK DID REAL ROXY GO.

And where the fuck is Calliope anyway, she’s just being left in the dust and nobody’s even talked to her from the looks of it.

Hm, cut apart by political differences, this group...?

ROXY: woah ok karkat i get ur all fired up about politics and stuff but lay off gamz ok

ROXY WHO REPLACED YOUR FUCKING BRAIN WITH A BLOCK OF CHEESE

ROXY YOU’RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER PLEASE GIVE US AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU’RE ACTING NOTHING LIKE THE COOL SMART PERSON WE READ ABOUT.

JADE: dave what the FUCK did you say to him downstairs?

Oh my god you asshole don’t blame DAVE for this >:(

ROXY: this time next week well corpse party like its the end of the world!

I don’t want to think this has anything to do with Aradia, but we DID see her in that postscript bit...  And, I mean, what the hell could she even do??  It’s not like this Roxy is just Aradia in really convincing cosplay or something.

==>

She leads John and Jake into the building and down the center of the nave, humming happily to herself the entire time. An equally effusive Calliope trails behind her, carrying a bouquet of purple flowers.

Well there’s Callie. What is WITH these hypnotized motherfuckers.  I need a revelation on these shenanigans STAT.

What is with people being bathed in light here?

each time we witness death, we fall in love in with the important people in oUr lives all over again.

Calliope is gazing at Roxy with glassy eyes. She sniffs as she plucks the last petal from her rose. A breeze washes through the cathedral from the crack in the door at the end of the room, brushing the petal off-course and causing it to get stuck in Roxy’s over-sprayed hair. Calliope reaches out with a visibly shaking hand to remove the plant offal, but she does not draw back. Instead, she lets her hand graze down the side of Roxy’s face and cup her cheek. Roxy puts her own hand over Callie’s and holds it.

Uhhh.... huh.

So.

If Roxy was just lying to herself, then............ WHY??????

John tilts his head and squints at the image in front of him. Hmm.

Is John realizing he’s in some sort of fanfic drawn by another character, hence all the people in serene lightbeams at tender but unjustified moments?

Everyone whips their heads around to see, of all people, Aradia hovering in the foyer

Pff

(...I hope Aradia didn’t come here, like, from the postscript.  Where the “action” she talked about might have just been this corpse party.  Because that would be pretty fucking lame.)

KARKAT: MAYBE FUCKING NEPETA IS ABOUT TO POUNCE FROM BEHIND THAT GROTESQUE STATUE OF THE HUMAN SUFFERER T-POSING OVER THERE.

Pfffffffffff

The description of Human Jesus we all had in our hearts, but were too afraid to voice.

Alright, now we see the body we took our eyes off of.  Is it going to get back up, or did it escape earlier?

since nobody was willing to dislodge the huge, otherworldly shard from her chest

My damn god, people.

...alright finally, everyone’s talking.

JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow.

JANE STOP BEING A XENOPHOBIC BASTARD

CALLIOPE: please. roxy gathered yoU all here for a reason. CALLIOPE: at least listen Until the end. CALLIOPE: after that yoU can argUe all you want.

...Huh.  Huuuuhh.  What the fuck is all this for.  Are you saying ROXY caused this? Or...?

Okay I like this reinforcement she’s making in her speech about how different changes can influence how all of this unfolds, gives me hope that maybe these two cliffhangers aren’t all we’re going to be left with and we’ll be able to at least think of an IMPLIED future different from them if we wanted to like we thought about the seemingly-infinite-possibility original ending of Homestuck that I’d rather have been stuck with than this oh god breathe boots

okay there’s the labor going into good distraction

alright corpse get back up

JADE: i am not jade.

Right, so like the black eyes in the postscript suggested this is more just a... vessel for alt!Calliope now?  To give HER a future beyond the one she sacrificed for that black hole business?  And between alt!Callie’s became-the-black-hole nature and Jade’s Spacey Green Sun connection that’s been singularified, she has access to cool Black Hole powers?  And is gonna do cool shit with them in implied future adventures we won’t see while Aradia gleefully watches the carnage?  Huh.

The congregation watches her go, but no one moves to help her, or even looks in her direction. In her wake, she leaves a primal, echoing wail.

Oh my god why wouldn’t they have just a brief discussion or something IT’S NOT THAT BAD  D:

JADE: and while i cannot say the same thing for the rest of you, JADE: i, at least, am exactly where i am meant to be.

Well fuck.  So she just disconfirmed this timeline as... something.  Relevant, possible, I dunno.

JADE: and i have entered this body to protect your world.

Okay that’s good.  So thanks to alt!Calliope these side timelines where things unfolded differently MAY be preserved.  Pretty fitting given alt!Callie’s origins.

.......unless there’s some other stupid interspecies civil war threat that she’s going to be fighting too, here, when the political situation falls apart.  Dammit.

==>

Terezi talk Terezi talk

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “ghostrain.jpg” --

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FUCK JOHN: it started a few days ago. the sky above the capital of the troll kingdom just cracked open and ghosts began raining down everywhere.

Oh my GOD.  So alt!Callie kind of “saved” all the doomed ghosts that got swallowed up in the black hole by redirecting them all to THIS UNIVERSE and timeline???????

That’s pretty interesting!  Heck my stomach’s even calming down!

they can’t even be judges! TEREZI: G4SP

Yeah that’s pretty terrible!

...yep, the resistance WOULD put him in charge.  I had a feeling it may have ended up in that direction in Candy since it wasn’t in Meat.

--oh FUCK YOU Jade for splitting up what he had with Karkat before they could sort it out!!! You did the OPPOSITE OF HELP and neither of them are going to end up happy thanks to you! D:<

PFFF wow, John’s so concerned about babby not!Tavros’s living situation that he’s considering legit kidnapping.  That means things must be pretty fucking bad.

--okay Calliope’s still out and about with Roxy instead of being cooped up in her room like in the other timeline, that’s good.

Pff, trying to redeem Ghost Eridan in front of Ghost Feferi.  Yep, that’s Gamzee.

GAMZEE: fIrSt, A LiTtLe RiGhTeOuS sPlAsH oF tHe NaNnA nEcTaR tO cLeAnSe ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...

Gamzee takes out a baby bottle and flicks it, covering them both with little drops of milk, as clergy does with holy water. He then takes a swig from the bottle himself before returning it to his codpiece.

Jesus.  Fucking.  Christ.

I don’t want to believe that what’s in that bottle is what he’s making it sound like it is, but OF COURSE it is.  Why would it be anything else.  I bet there’s not even any Lifey hypnosis going on, it’s just the literal stuff.

The crowd falls silent as they raise their heads to watch a drone ship pass by overhead.

Jegus fuck stop going whole hog condesce janey

ROXY: lmao you worry too much ROXY: janeys got her head on straight shell show you yet

ROXY.  WHERE DID YOUR BRAIN GO.  I MISS IT.  YOUR BRAIN WAS THE BEST FUCKING PART OF YOU.

Touching photo.

Alright lemme post split.  I haven’t gotten as far as the last post plowed through since I’ve been typing so much... ah well.

[saints-row-2]

film watch day 19: Halloween (2018)

ill keep this as spoiler-free as possible since the film just came out like eight seconds ago

Halloween follows on directly from Halloween, ignoring all the other movies also called Halloween that had the decency to differentiate themselves slightly. forty years after Michael Myers tried to kill Laurie Strode he returns to Haddonfield to wreak havoc again. 

Halloween is a Halloween movie. it does what a Halloween movie should do. its the purest one of the sequels; theres no attempt to reinvent the concept. this isnt Michael but in a hospital or Michael but in a school or Michael but on a reality tv show. this is Michael Myers, in Haddonfield, trying to kill Laurie Strode. 

the film isnt a perfect movie or a perfect Halloween movie -- only the original is -- this one meanders with a few sideplots that i felt had more potential but in truth i appreciate that instead of trying to reinvent the concept of Halloween it just took the core concept and expanded on it. it embedded the lore and feeling of the original in this new movie and grew out from that, pursuing questions that the original raised.

Halloween is largely about two things: it is about how people see Michael Myers, and it is about trauma.

i would have to view the movie a dozen more times before i feel comfortable really talking about how effective either of these themes are explored, but my gut reaction is that i like what there is, and i want more of it. 

theres a layer of metatextual understanding in this movie that it is part of a huge legacy, that people dont just have opinions on it, it means something to people. they care about how this story is told. it understands what people expect. and unlike a million other Scream knock-offs that have the characters just mocking the stale tropes while repeating them exactly, it just plays with our expectations in meaningful ways. this isnt a film that just read the tv tropes page for Halloween, it actually understands Halloween. 

the callbacks to the originals are also subtle and varied in a way thats interesting to watch, or adds some kind of intertextual meaning, rather than just being a parade of “i got that reference”. 

the themes of trauma, especially inherited trauma, are what this movie is built on. Jamie Lee Curtis carries this fucking movie. dont get me wrong, Andi Matichak who plays Laurie’s granddaughter Alison is extremely good also, and all the actors and characters are compelling (even a few very minor ones), but Jamie Lee Curtis is fucking transcendent in this movie. maybe im “biased” because i was prepared to die on the cross for Laurie Strode long before this movie came out, but shes amazing. having heard her talk about Laurie and what this movie meant to her, to play a woman who confronts the man who traumatised her, was something that hung heavy in my mind watching this film and it really made all of it so much more fucking beautiful to see.

i dont know if this counts as spoilers when its something i made up but one of my greatest fears about this film was that in some twist, Laurie would become the next monster, that her trauma would make her “evil” and have her become a killer too. but theres not even a fucking hint of that, and im glad, because it allows the film to be a genuinely powerful movie in some ways. maybe it wont feel that way for you, but it did for me. 

and also, yeah. Michael Myers. Michael Myers is right in this film. he is correct. he is intelligent and cold and driven by some nearly otherworldly need to destroy that people try and fail to dissect and understand. he is scary. he is brutal. surprisingly, the film has more scenes than any other in the franchise where Michael is maskless. im absolutely fucking fascinated with the way those scenes are shot and what it says about his character. he feels like a human being in this movie, and thats the highest fucking compliment i can pay a portrayal of Myers.

Laurie and Michael’s relationship is the thing i cared most about and every fucking scene with the two of them is incredible. again, Jamie Lee Curtis is unbelievable in this movie. but Laurie’s relationships with her daughter and granddaughter are huge, incredibly important parts of this film. while Laurie and Alison are more the starts of the film, when Karen (the daughter) has her moments she fucking shines. seeing her deal with the inherited trauma shes left with touches again on that theme and i actually found myself at the end of the film wanting to see a sequel so i can see the story of the Strodes continue. i said a few weeks ago that people watch slasher movies for the villains, but Halloween 2018 is a slasher movie where the final girl is the most powerful force and the biggest draw.

the movie is also beautifully filmed. every fucking shot is so well composed and theres some moments that... i wanted to print a screenshot and wallpaper my room with them. i dont know how else to express my love. the film has moments that rival the iconic background scares that Carpenter made into an art form in the original.

also yeah the film is scary and has some great kills and is surprisingly restrained on the blood and gore? it has its moments and its a lot gorier than the original, but the film utilises the power of the unseen kill really well. 

Halloween 2018... Halloween H40... gives me genuine optimism that this series could come back and mean something. i loved this movie. i cant tell you if itll be as effective for people who arent fans of the original, because i obviously fucking cant separate myself out and make myself not someone who the original means a lot to. but as a fan i feel pretty fucking good about this film. 

[carbonatedcoldfish]

first person i liked in a whole 28 years and his parents dont agree with the relationship without meeting me :(

11 year age gap, it makes sense since theyre the traditional type. but damn its not fair D:

also i only just realised how the whole relationship thing feels and no wonder people talk about it all the time. other people are hard to understand and figure out. also it's annoying how many things there are to talk about before committing to one. and lots of emotions to figure out. and so much thinking to do.

if i didnt like the guy it's almost like a chore.

but also wow, wasnt expecting a guy like that to like me. im a little bit intimidated by his intelligence. and hes got a ridiculous amount of patience and generosity. and the guy is loaded but will only say hes middle class -.- how is staying in a landed property where 3 generations can stay in 1 roof still middle class?

on the money side of things my expectations were 'lets go to mcdonalds and walk in the park for a date' but wtf this guy blows money on dinner dates. its nice but holy hell its so wasteful

but knowing the guy for a few years, i really like the way he treats people. theres basic human decency and respect but he takes it to another level and tries to understand everyone. kind of amazing to watch.

but welp his parents dont agree with the entire thing anyway. and if it doesnt work out i guess its back to single life simple life. and happy life because i get to do anything i want :D

[tylerwritez]

I started this off with a question. ("Why do I crave being lesser? Why do I want to be treated as a child and not as the man that i am?")

But then I realized that literal human love affection and decency isnt being treated as a child. Adult men need love too. And that includes me.

(Okay but. You DO want to be legit treated as a child. Not just love but like. Actual babying.)

What does that mean to you anwyays? Being treated as a child?

(You're picturing it in your head already, degenerate. Wishing it was real. Wishing you could just cry into someones arms. An actual adult. Someone to protect you and care for you... someone whose love you can feel in a good happy way)

And I'm a bad person for wanting... a hug? You're insane. Youre actually fucking crazy dude.

(You HAVE people who love you. You just always want more and more. You never feel like if the void is filled. You still cower and cry when your parents are upset... you still get the urge to self harm when you're yelled at or even if they're angry around you because you just cant handle them mad at you. I'm sorry but you gotta man up.)

Man up? You're joking, right? The impact they had on me as a kid is REAL. I cant believe youd try to downplay it for the sake of your masculinity. The truth is you didnt feel loved at all. Even if you were... you FELT hated, unwanted, and most importantly, you felt UNSAFE. it's no fucking wonder you cant handle them being angry at you years after the fact.... you've been conditioned to be afraid of them. You tense up, you dont speak. I've seen how you react when they seem angry. Even if it has nothing to do with you. And now you're thinking about the test and how if you fail, your dad will likely be mad at you. And you're crying. You havent even TAKEN the test yet. And you're crying, on the edge of full blown panic. You see how that's fucked?

(Arent you depressed or some shit? That's the issue here. Not them. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. This grief inside you is 1. Made up 2. Your fault 3. You being mentally ill and 4. somehting you need to get over)

I DO NEED TO GET OVER IT. And it is. Partially. My fault... but at the end of the day I was just a kid. A kid who needed support and didn't get it. A kid who learned! Who was taught! By his experiences... to isolate himself and to never speak a word of the shit he went through.

This void. In you. Won't ever go away. Its always there. Every time you think of little jude. Every time your parents are mad at you... even if it's for good reaosn. Even if they arent THAT mad. A slight shift in tone of voice and you're about to cry, and you've stopped talking altogether because you dont wanna say soemthing to set them off even more. You are fucking damaged. I'm sorry dude, it's the truth. Nobody notices. It's so easy to slip by undetected. It's so easy to slowly die on the inside. Imagine what I couldve been! Imagine who I couldve been, imagine the man youd see in front of you, if this void didn't exist.

It took everything from me. I am left with nothing but PAIN. It's horrible. I don't know what I can do about it.

When I talk in therapy, all that's ever mentioned of my parents is their Current do-goodery. I dont mean to sound ungrateful, but does that take away from their past wrongdoing? No! Of course not! I was still affected by that and I hate having to act like it never even happened. I wish they knew and I wish they felt bad. I wish they cried just once at least, how I do every night. I wish they held the pain that I hold just one night. They wouldnt make it. Theyd kill themselves.

Maybe then theyd know to be more gentle with me, and kinder. Maybe then they'd understand why my eyes are red every morning and why my clothes smell like smoke and why theres bloody paper towels in the garbage bin.

When does this pain go AWAY? How much fucking prozac have I gotta take? Should I up my dose to 20mg without consulting the doctor?

Theres more to it, but that's the core part that never goes away.

The more to it part seems to have subsided MOSTLY.... but that core. Is always there. Theres never a moment in my life where I'm anything but younger versions of myself, fearful, teary eyed, self destructive, withdrawn, FEARFUL, in such pain... I'm always little Jude. I'm always this little fucking kid who just wants some fucking love but will not receive it for the majority of his life. I'm a little fucking kid who just needs someone to listen to me. I'm a little fucking kid and I don't really hug my parents. It feels fake to me. Im not even 9 yet and I've already accepted the fact that my parents hate me. Maybe it's not a fact, but to me it is. Maybe it's not a fact but I'm still afraid to tell them anything I feel and that's because they never listen. They dont know how to. All they do is get mad and punish.

And now I do that to myself.

My therapist says to remember to be a good friend to myself. That's cos she sees that I'm really mean to myself. Stupid. I always say I'm stupid and I always apologize and say that I'm sorry if this sounds stupid, I dont know... (I dont know is very common. It's like I just dont have opinions on things anymore because I was afraid my parents would get mad at me for them)

I say I'm stupid and she says, who told you that? And I just... its literally my parents. My dad called me tonto TODAY. literally today. Because I took my backpack out of the car when I was getting out to go to the dentist's. A simple mistake right? Well of course he has to be pissy about it. And that sorta thing makes me feel so bad.

And it conflicts me a lot that my parents can act so loving and kind in one moment and then in another yell at me and refuse to give me space and say mean shit about me... it makes it so idk how to feel about them.

Every time I feel like maybe I'm ready to do better and I'm chill with them, they take their anger out on me again.

I literally fucked around with old fucking pedophiles because of the empty space I felt in my heart where my parents love should be. Its VERY real. I forced myself to do such gross shit just to have someone their age tell me they love me. To have someone their age praise me. This is very fucking real. My pain is very fucking real. Nobody has any right to tell me it's not.

I dont know what to feel or think or do. I just feel sad. I think I've been ruined now for the rest of my whole life to jsut be in pain. I feel like nobody can understand. I dont know what to do. I should try to die again if I have the guts.

[gaymelie]

I do want to also point out that even if someone actually means that they dislike or hate childre , that will not necessarily translate into treating them badly as many people on here like to say. That sort of is the function of basic decency toward others.

I know people who i actively hate yet i would not be unnecessarily hurtful to them all it means is that i will just not actively seek this person out and possibly avoid interacting with them if possible.

Thats basically the same way i treat children, if i get paid for it i will entertain them, if theres one around i will have a nice little conversation and if theres a baby and all my friends run to look at it because its so cute i just..... Dont.

I genuinely dont understand if this argument is rooted in sexism somehow (probably but no idea how) or if these people just are genuinely actively hostile to anyone they dislike which....yikes.

Tldr: for some people "i hate children" means they hate interacting with them and will avoid it if possible and otherwise generally be a polite human being about it all.

i dont think “i hate kids” is a particularly helpful sentiment wrt politics but i do think a lot of the time what people mean by “i hate kids” is “i resent the assumptions society presses onto me about children”

[tshifty]

wll taylor swift fans ever understand that there are people that just dont like taylor and thats ok, why do you all think theres some ulterior extra reason as to why people dont like her, like unclench for a minute

i honestly do not give a single goddamn flying fuck if you don’t like taylor swift. but when people go out of their way and swerve into her lane screaming about how she’s some evil racist sexist homophobic republican snake? yeah that’s pretty ridiculous. when people for some godawful reason think that it’s even remotely acceptable to mock her for being sexually assaulted, or like how about we flashback to 2013 for a second and relive the absolute ridiculous slutshaming she got because /shudder/ she dated 2 guys in 1 year. like honey nobody cares if you don’t like her, we care when you don’t have the decency to treat her like a human being and stir up media drama because your head is so far up your ass

[arielkrupnik]

pur-girl-tory

I came from a world of things i loved to be disappointed here.

So far in my stay, Ive unenjoyed the bimbo-limbo of women, Ive unenjoyed the limbo of entertaining poetry, Ive unenjoyed the company of many, Ive unenjoyed lingering and risking on deletion oblivion, Ive unenjoyed the bad comments this will probably palm-nail me with, Ive unenjoyed the crucifixation people have had with me, Ive unenjoyed not being able to write this on their faces instead of here, for this needs to be contained everywhere. Its already written all over your faces, and Ive unenjoyed looking into them.

I feel how Mickey Rourke’s face looks now. I feel guilty for those who sport a smile, recite an inside joke, upload a photo, insert a quirk, write their writings, miss their borefriend, expect to be loved, don a crisis make over, chastise for power, critic to death, name a hypocrite, expect an email, expect a text, expect jealousy, con’knives in the back, adoration, paychecks, sex, loyalty, and respect for being cold. But yet, and better yet, they have no soul. Drama mia! They have a lot of room, minus a soul.

Ladies with gentlemen, pedestal your gentlemen while you can. Better still, marry your man! Don’t leave a man like me questioning the genuosity of your love. You can be ignorant now to bliss I gave you beforehand. Its easy to rid the ones who love you, in favor for lucifers human flesh and his kind words. But thats not the way to get into heaven. He’s a wanna-be macho cheese, taco supreme, muchacho!. At least, my flesh is all natural. In the land of Ariel Krupnik, it keeps me from ever warming up to the idea it'll be unenjoyed.

We all shit out the same asshole for the same fate. Enjoy your version of love while supplies last. Rub shit in my face, and make me wonder

what gosh! It must feel like to be the most important someone in your life. Love is for those that dont want to be found; to leave loyalty behind. Since when did love become an excuse to get rid of me?. I cant just say fuck them - my heart is too big to fit through that door. It seems as though every girl i know in love - really know how to fail under the radar, dontcha unsweethearts?. Might as well start unacknowledging our history, and start heading back on your kind

words.

Your lucky you got away. I have to work everyday. No one has compassion, soul, heart, empathy, love angel music, baby. I feel like Im the only one trying. I feel like the only one whose gotten neurotic for it, and any girl to complain along with me, will agree, then retreat back to their borefriend, and lie life. If you can retreat to love after reading this, your say in the matter is no go. Take your comments with you to farcity blues.

I don’t expect any miracles for being this conduit of expressing things we're scared to say. Thats how the right poem gets made. Thats how the real person does reality, minus a love, added by soul. Bless me for me! and who are you suppose to be?. And what for?!.

I don’t have the same nature as a lot of you do. I have this unbelievability factor hunting down on me, for until my dying days. You see poetry has found me, sister dear, brother dear. And Ive stuck its language all around me;

every corner in my mouth. I sacrificed the english language and those who speak it, to speak le dangerous!. Lets hear you say this.

My life is the secret told, the full-fledged victory for not having someone to share this with. He is sad to hear, naive, he is mad-mindedly beautiful in his telling of the story. He does justice to decency by speaking these. Oh but Im speaking way ahead of myself, its the rest of the world that has catching up to do. This writing here today is indeed born of its rightful melancholy, and the one you might be missing out on. Im sure theres a great writer even now whose convinced you great writing exists otherwise. They are writing my work. They are using my skills to get to you, to get you too. Poor little fellows, who were born dicks - and legs and arms, and torso and heads grew from it!

No I haven’t enjoyed my stay, the rooms been full but the company has been empty. I don’t feel right not reaching enough soul. I don’t think someone willing to be a minor messiah for your everything should be shunned, no matter what he wears, or how he cuts his hair. Do you honestly feel okay not being happy to happiness' full-pull potential?. You are the ones in shock, over awe, over oh no, over his courtly love

staring out in the open dawn. You are the ones that want to disappear among rooms, clubs, dorms, bars, upstates, drugstores, house parties, homes, vacations, classes, jobs, and dates, and dirty laundry. All to get further ahead in life, pushing me aside.

What are you guilty of at the moment? Im sure your ignoring someone for a stupid reason, and I am not ever. I can be bought for free. Im talking bout me - the incredible friend of yours incredibly unacknowledged. If theres anything I can die and leave you with, it would be to please not fall into the cliche of these self-righteous, below the ground-nosers, who think too high and mighty of themselves to hang with anyone the least bit disingenuous. If you cant accept everyone and their faults, unwelcome yourself to society.

I don’t feel so comfortable waiting so long to see people again. The idea of pretend-friends hasn’t always been a favorite of mine. ‘ We should hang out', fake,

every word is for false people. Someone has to be somewhat decent. Thank god for me, i guess. Im the only last will and living testament of those who don’t break the rules. Im too cool to be outside of school. I shit upon all who believe they cant compensate for being bad. People who attend halloween parties, thanksgiving dinners, christmas dinners and new years parties, claiming around, being good to their relatives, just so they can be bad in reality. Thank god for me being real my whole life. I haven’t been faking it.

I don’t expect miracles with anyone. I don’t expect anything - no one has any real heart to put up a fight. No one wants to find out why I consider myself talented.

Im so disappointed we cant get past stupid little individual problems we make, just to avoid the truth. We have improvised anything that might be evil, to steer clear of me. Goodbye proper imagination, hello fake fuck-face smiles.

Its nice to see you again in everyone. May you shatter all your mirrors and preconceptions one day. One can only hope.

Oh what me worry, I'll die for any spot in heaven,

I can always fulfill that expectation. I'll be the first and last to understand what Ive written here. First and last, and anywhere Im hoping the in-betweeners wont make the end so hard if they've been following me this whole time. No one I know is someone to have gotten to know all of me. If they were looking for redemption out of something bad i did, I hope they find that here. I hope I was more than just myself today, and something unseen carried over. I hope that makes her, whoever she is now, that much more intrigued on my mystery. And I hope that she whoever, forgives me my daily dread. Forgiveness is important to me, not yourselves.

I wish you all the best in stopping yourselves from me getting to know you. I wish upon a dark star.

I hope on that star, I wasn’t your friend, but thee friend, afterall. In the end, Im friends with your heart, not yourselves. And you can tell your others; significant others and friends, an angel says fuck them for not reading this. Fuck you if you don’t get it, and fuck us if you never will. And fuck you all with love,

Ariel.

[watersuncharted]

July 28, 2017

major vent time. 

so, shes back from the hospital. its all great. the surgery went smoothly and all, but of course nothing sits right with her. thats what no one gets. shes not normal. shes not an average woman. shes drained and brought down, shes torn and weary, and shes strong but fragile and no one seems to understand that. that every other woman would want extra care, that every other woman would want extra love, but she just pushes it away and makes her life miserable, but i get it. 

and then theres this little brat who spends all her time worrying about herself. she does nothing to make sure that she is helping others i literally had to call her to be down here. c a l l h e r. ME. does she not have the human decency to put down her life and help out for idk 5 minutes? and then, she ran right back upstairs, she has really been testing me. lets see how tomorrow works out. its not even that whoever is on the phone, which we all know who it is, would be angry or upset that you needed to idk help your mother survive. you want to foster a better family environment, but ohmygod are you fuking kidding me

andthen theres this kid. sure, cut me off for the whole school year. i dont care, as long as you are studying and killin gthe game. i dont mean to sound awfully full of myself but, i made you better. you struggled, sure but come on. are you kidding? you arent doing hot the fird t year of college end of the year ? i wonder why. but tehen, instead, you tlk to her, fail out of school, rethink your life. cut off your best friend (although possibly a bad influence). and then, when you realize shes leaving soon, you pick back up to me. and then, when she leaves, you TEST ME the randomsest thngs,  you better be so fucking thank fup im th ebsty an dim the most lioving prson o the planet fodam nbecause i realiking miss you 

i cant do this anymore, im over it. im sad. how ironic that ira mu time o fhte onth when it can never be hers. 

xx gn