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#i dont think they should be allowed to be 2 says
bachi-the-bee · 7 hours
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⚠️NOT FOR THE ONES WITH A WEAK HEART. PROCEED WITH CAUTION⚠️ OR DONT. I'M JUST BEING DRAMATIC.
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*tap tap tap on the 🎤*
*clears throat* It's the mod speaking. Hello hello 😌
Alright folks. It's about time we have a truth or dare game night, what do you say? 😈🎤
The rules are as follows :
I'll tag all the rp blogs and a bunch of "fans" who regularly interact with the blue lockers on this post since you're all the direct contestants for being players in the game event!
Then from the moment this post is published y'all 24 hours to opt in (you can opt in by just dropping a comment/reblog) - the time limit for replying to this is 24 hours because I'll need people who are constantly active in the RP community for the smooth sailing of the event. Because everyone will need to be co-operated and as quick as they can be with their replies just so we can more and more rounds of truth or dare 😌↕️
That's why, if you think your week would be busy and your responses might be too slow you can choose to watch from the sidelines for now (:3) since every player's replying time is crucial to the overall pacing of the game. (A few hours of replying time is fine though, anything beyond 10-12 hours might be too much since it'd exhaust around a day or 2 in just one round)
Now once all the players have been locked in, everyone will be alloted a number. (i and everyone else should be allowed to tag you in a post/comment if you're willing to be a player or I won't be able to include you because being able to summon you is an important part of the game. So please do check your settings once if you're not sure) And you'll have to remember that number.
How will the game proceed? Let me elaborate.
Let's say we have 15 players, alright? I (or) Bachira basically, will start the first round. For the first round, I'll use this to generate a random number between 1-15 (that'd be our version of spinning the bottle. Just imagine us all sitting in a huge circle okay? 😂) and let's say I land on a number which belongs to isagi - either of us will have to make a new post and tag the other (in this case, if isagi makes a new post for their first round of truth and dare, he can tag Bachira and they can both have their RP conversation through the reblogs) and then we can have our round of truth/dare in the reblogs.
Whoever (of the two chosen players ones for a particular round) makes the new post will have to tag the post with "#RP : truth or dare" just so everyone else can easily scroll through the tag on main Tumblr to tune in and join in on the fun. (I say it's important to make a new post because otherwise if we try and converge it all on one post then reblogs will end up having multiple branches (which would make it tough to navigate through each rounds) and get confusing real quick + by round (let's say) 10 the thread would start getting tooo long - you wouldn't want your dash clogged with that would you?)
Also, do tag me (@/bachi-the-bee) in every new round's new post so i can keep a record easily in case anyone wants to revisit it anytime ^_^
Feel free to tag any other fellow teammate or mutual to ask for truth/dare recommendations as to what you can ask/assign. Also, everyone is free to come reblog any post of any round and have their commentaries on it haha!! No hard rules other than new post for each round.
Just imagine all of us sitting in a huge ass circle and playing the game in a room, what do you think the character you rp would say or react with? Yeah. Feel free (read as : PLEASE DO) react with that in the reblogs, it'd make things more fun.
Now let's come back to the round Bachira and isagi were having - at the end of it, bachira - the one who was answering/performing the dares - will go to the random number generator, (because that's it's usually is, the one who has to answer/perform a dare rolls the bottle next) generate new numbers and tag the two people who's number they get (if you keep getting one player again and again feel free to roll out a random number multiple times. The point is having an interesting and UNIQUE combination of players hehe)
While rolling the numbers - the first roll would be to choose the one who'd be assigning a question/task and second roll would be for the one who'd be performing that task. The one who's rolling the numbers have to specify which player does what when they're tagging the next batch of players for the next round.
And then either of the chosen players can make a new post, tag the other one (and me i.e @/bachi-the-bee not my main), start a roleplay thread and tag the post with "#RP : truth or dare" and the cycle goes on.
Taking in consideration the average time gaps between replies, this event will go on for atleast a WEEK. The time can be extended based on how many rounds have been done by the end of the week and how many players got a chance. (AND depending on how much fun everyone is having LMAO)
So, are you ready to get bold and daring with your questions and task, future players? 😈🥂
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Tagging : @galaxynajma @riririnnnn @rinitoshiplzdateme @the-lazyyy-artist @ssstar
@gayestclarinet @yue-t @sharkissm @the-rini-rush @stellas-starry-stories13
@bibururokku @soleilonthesun
@the-rini-rush @wabatle @reapkusho @fishii28 (mods do lmk if you only wanna play as the character, or yourself, or both. Also if you're mod of multiple RPs, please do account and opt in from all their behalfs)
Coming to the blue lockers -
@ask-nagi-seishiro @ask-mikage-reo @underlash-owl @underlashes-redhead @freaky-pink-bug
@worlds-best-striker @alexis-nessie @gods-chosen-emperor @oliver-aiku-official @ask-karasu-tabito
@ask-otoya-eita @hiori-yo @planethotline @not-a-pillowprincess @cheshire-kitkat
@ask-noel-noa @xx-n1ko25-xx @assistant-teieri @egoist-jinpachi @king-barou
@wildcardwho @kenyusee-yukimiya @julienloki1 @i-use-pantene @smart-zantetsu
@ask-nijiro-nanase @lavinho-paizao @shu-sendo @candied-kiyora
Do lmk if I missed anyone or anyone not mentioned here wanna join!! \⁠(⁠๑⁠╹⁠◡⁠╹⁠๑⁠)⁠ノ⁠♬
If you're willing to play, drop a comment/reblog!!
Mod, signing off!
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faithful-voices · 7 months
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i think they shoulkd give me a lobotomy or a dab pen
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flingza-roller · 7 months
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woah ok ive been seeing an insane amount of hate for side order so yknow what fuck you. this blog is a safe space i love octo expansion and i also love side order im having a very good time with this game. set urself free, release expectations, embrace fun
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tamagotchikgs · 2 months
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realizing that for the first time ever being w my bf has given me the chance to actually just , kinda be myself without it feeling So wrong. like i am a nervous lil freak n me not being anything else is somehow ok. and not just used as a joke or like yeah thats the freak dont talk to them dont worry about them like my friends irl always did w me. even my therapist likes to ignore core parts of me, whenever i try to bring it up she always shuts me down with the "im sorry u feel that way" and changes the subject. and like i still want to be better n i still have support for changing n growing but it's like for the first time i can actually plant myself down in the ground instead of stretch myself thin trying to fit into everything im not. so maybe i do have a chance. maybe this is where i was always going wrong maybe this is what i could never reach
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first female loz director and the gerudo seem to be written fine enough? wow... there ain't no way I thought we were in the worst timeline after totk
Yeah got through the main quest with the gerudo, it wasn't painful! It wasn't even bad! Still got them outfits but for the most part it was like oh cool!
I would say a lot of that oh cool is from the fact they didn't do a lot to even fuck it up to begin with, I'm gonna be real with yall this game is NOT worth $60USD
Edit: lemme say one thing, you know when people were being like damn totk story wasn't dark or mature at all why was this compared to Majora's mask again? And then all the zeldatwt people came out and said zelda is just a kid series domt expect good writing uH
This one feels like a kid's game. That ain't to say it's terrible I would say, hell I'm not far in it if I get something crazy that's like OH FUCK I'll reblog this post and say something but uh.....game for babies I'm gonna be shocked if anyone struggles with any puzzles cuz you CAN CHEESE THEM EASY ITS 🫢🤭
EDIT EDIT: I SWEAR IM NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE A DOWNER..... @ezlo-x HAS BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME IVE BEEN PLAYING....THEY KNOW I HAVENT BEEN A PARTY POOPER.....
#its......seems quick#the sidequests are very boring tbh#like this game should of been 45-50 max not 60#its cute i like it so far but oh my god the optimization and game design could of been way better#and after botw/totk like....how do i put this#its like nintendo heard hey we need a LITTLE bit of rail roading and then#😬#basically...example#for a main quest i have to go to 2 places to get people#i went to the 2nd place first and it......didnt update the side quest even though she should of gone to the meeting place#thTs apart of the quest but no i had to go to the 1st guy no matter what#and its like.....hey botw not totk would do that#most GAMES in general now wouldnt do something like that#also yall gonna hate the fact there is no organization or favorites tool for the echoes#game is fun so far but uH#i got through the first dungeon FAST FAST like this is not a return to form#minish cap dungeons i dont think were that fast and theyre simple#also anyone that says this dorsnt have mechanics from the wilds games yes it does#tri has an ability thats JUST ultra hand#oh and its not good in this game#yall gonna fucking hate it#unless somehow a pirated version doesnt allow you to rotate the fucking item or move it in a way that goes behind me#without me locking off and then back on again after repostioning myself#im worried its a feature and not an anti piracy measure#me and GC are gonna finish this up this week but dang i havent even done the whole first part of the main quest#if i had this on the switch i could see how fast i could play through the game WHILE talking to people and having fun and exploring#also oh my god the zora side quest very cute but when eveeyone knows how the game goes ill make one complaint in the tags one day#funny thing its not story....ITS GAMEPLAY#yhe story in the game is fine and i say that cuz its....very simple#HELL A LOT OF NPCS DONT GOT NAMES THAT ARE VISIBLE
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deanncastiel · 1 year
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Ok so for those of you who might be a smidge confused as to why so many of us may be upset about ted going back to kansas to be with his son bc "it was always going to end up like this" "thats his boy of course he was going to go back" "Ted's entire journey was about how to be a better father and not to do to henry what ted's father did to him" like
Y'all realize that parents are people too, right??? They have their own thoughts and beliefs and friends and things that make them happy and interests (special or otherwise) and hobbies and relationships outside of their children and and and and and
To say that his ENTIRE character arc revolves around his son is reductive and perpetuates terrible ideas about what it means to be a parent and what they are expected to sacrifice for their children
Ted's arc revolved around Ted. And part of that, sure, was being a father. But it was also being a husband, and a friend, and a coach, and an individual person who is trying to move on from their trauma and mistakes and people pleasing needs and set boundaries and accept that they dont always have to be happy and optimistic 100% of the time and that its okay to be upset sometimes and
And if y'all have somehow missed that, then no wonder we have very different views on ted's ending
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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sanstropfremir · 2 years
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I love the fact that Yunho stayed true to his artistry throughout the years. Sadly the same can’t be said for younger male idols like Taemin or Kai, in my opinion, who strayed so far away from what we saw of them doing in their groups. And it got me thinking; how much of it is them and how much of it is SM’s marketing strategy? How can their group self and solo self be soooo different? For me they’re not selling their solo self well enough to convince me that that them you know what I am? It feels almost like they’re acting (yes, every performer acts a little bit) but with Kai and Taemin it looks like they’re both playing a role…
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#i genuinely do not know how to answer this sldkfsdkljfsldkjf#but you probably should have read more than one post on my blog before you sent this#considering i 1) have several of the top posts in the taemin meta tag#and 2) one of the things i talk about quite frequently is about HOW ACTING IS IMPORTANT TO GOOD PERFORMANCE#unironically: do you think every idol is totally genuine in their performances? and that 'playing a role' means something is bad art??#bc if you do you need to get a grip real quick darling bc i can guarantee that even yunho is 'playing a role'#...do you not think that human beings have depth??? that they can want to portray more than one thing in different performances???#look. if you dont like taemin and kai's solo work that's totally fine. you are allowed to have your opinions and disliking things is fine#but to say that neither of them are 'selling' their work well enough to you bc it 'looks like theyre acting'??????#kindly but what the fuck is wrong with you#what the fuck else do you want them to DO????????#taemin especially has talked a LOT on many separate occasions for many years now about how much artistic input he has and how he makes work#also also: literally WHO CARES if its sm marketing??  i'm here for the music and for the performances not some weird parasocial shit#i am under no impression that i know anything about these artists' personal lives or what theyre really like and i dont care to know#all i care about is the work that gets produced and if its good or not#text#answers#i cant believe someone had the audacity to send ME. A TRAINED THEATRE PROFESSIONAL!! the phrase ''yes every performer acts a little bit''#do you hear yourself. do you.#i almost thought this was bait bc you literally managed to hit every point i would strongly disagree with you on#like some kind of perverse internet argument bingo. i feel like i should applaud you. well done!#hall of fame asks
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1roentgen · 17 days
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nomairuins · 29 days
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my tags on that went on for so long i had to go back and edit them to fit tag limit and i still had to delete a bunch of them. Its the autism it literally is
#funerary practices and the afterlife and body disposal methods and just. grief and mourning in general r like. My bigggg autism thing i dont#talk abt it a lot bc 1 i just Dont shut up once i get going 2 a lot of ppl dont want to hear abt stuff like that which is fine. kicked pupp#expression. i just find it very very interesting to see how different ppl grieve and whats considered like. Right and wrong when it comes t#care of the body yk. bc like. most/every culture has their practices and anything outside of that feels wrong to them bc its like. yk its s#pivotal idr the exact anecdote/story but caitlin doughty mentioned it in one of her books where like. there were 2 groups and one cremated#their dead and the other practiced mortuary cannibalism and both viewed the other as barbaric and it rly shaped how i view it like. yk. its#rly something so personal where even when the way someone grieves makes you uncomfortable its like. you cant force someone to grieve in a#way thats palatable to you. yk. for a rly long time washing the body and being with the body after death was a rly important part of grief#in like. usamerican culture its only more recently that it became wayyy less common w the rise of funeral homes and stuff. and obv for many#ppl that wouldnt be comforting but i think it could be for a lot of ppl..#my personal belief on it is everyone should be allowed to grieve and dispose of the dead As they want and that should be like. yk. theres#the nebulous term of Desecration which is legally rly difficult to define there r a lot of states where the law is 'if it would outrage#normal family values' which is just so fucking stupid obviously like. whos family. bc every single person has a different view on whats#appropriate yk... IDK. i think as long as its relatively safe for the living and as long as its not like. Against the wishes of the decease#like. if someone says they want a burial and then theyre cremated (not out of necessity like 4 financial stuff) im like. yk. obv theyre dea#but i think its important to honor their last wishes... yk. and that should go for like. If someone wants an open pyre cremation that shoul#be available... if someone wants aquamation etc. IDK. etc. like. another thing is with embalming while i wish it werent De Facto ppl r#railroaded into it i entirely disagree w ppl who say it should be wiped out entirely like. there r environmental ramifications 4 sure and i#love for that to be more like. talked abt... but embalming is rly important to a lot of ppl and idt its right to shit all over that. idt it#necessary for every death i personally dont see the point of embalming for like. a peaceful death with a quick funeral and theyre getting#cremated after. but ik like. for a lot of black families embalming is very important for like. a reclamation esp in violent or traumatic#deaths its very important to have like. a funeral with a viewing. and i think thats something that shouldnt be taken away from anyone ever.#even like. ik this is controversial but extreme embalming w/ posing and stuff as long as thats what the decease wanted like. i think its#awesome !! i Dont agree w taking the corpses of the poor or disenfranchised to prop up for art pieces Personally but like. there r ppl who#want to be displayed like that like. riding their motorcycle one last time or ummm. that posthumous concert that happened. i get how it can#seem morbid or wtvr but like. the families r happy with that its what those ppl wanted and it like. its a celebration of their life and#their interests and i think thats super important. BASICALLY.#ok tag limits coming so im cutting myself off for sure this time. but wtvr. i hope this makes sense to anybody else sorry i rambled. im ver#passionate abt it KJBADKJBDKJ
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btw i have a couple rss feeds on my neocities ^^ u can check em out if u want :3
#:0 i spoke#rss#rss feed#neocities#indie web#ima make like a proper gallery or smthn to show ppl my neocities bc rn its just the link and i dont think ppl give a fuck really#but i want em to give a fuck bc a) i think its cool and b) i spent a lot of time on it lmao#so far only got 2 feeds with content but theres 3 (techincally 4 if u count the test one) set up#theres the site update feed for when i update the site or w/e#and the micro blog one which is just where i yap or w/e it takes like 3 minutes to share stuff on that#then theres a blog post one which will at some point havbe some decent posts#like ive been doing a bit of windows 95 fuckery#got it running on my pc#tho i need to set it up a third time on a vm (prolly w a dif version bc i dont like the fancy ver) so it can run on a vm on a server which-#- is a vm itself#bc my computer crashes if virtualisation is on#which is needed for virtual machines#anyway then i wanna run my neocities on windows 95#and then maybe even classic mc if i can get java running#and also bc off the vid i just watched (absolute masterpiece go check it out its on my micro blog feed) i wanna try get .net 2.0 running#assuming they linked the installer etc#so then i can run some modern ish apps ^^#also i might post about cleric development on my micro blog or main blog idk#cleric is gonna be a foss + better ver of ddb hopefully#mainly for less complex homebrew system which still gives more control by allowing you to customise every value + add notes to em#so while they wont do as much they should all be more customisable than ddb homebrew#also its gonna have dragable window things bc thats sick asf anyway that all i gotta say#for cleric i gotta learn redux + some database logic and use non frontend js but yk its fine ill muddle through
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b0mblover · 2 months
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the first date loptson ever went on that no one was set on fire or died from was when they watched a godzilla movie but even then lopt managed to burn the popcorn worse than jiro so
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bangcakes · 5 months
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#back to Overthinking HDJDJDNDNDN#glad i got called in to work tomorrow LOL#personal#i should just ask him to hang out n get it over with BUT IM SCAREDNFJFJDJXKXM#theres nothing to even be scared of bc im pretty sure im the reason he even showed up last time NDNNDNDND#literally texted me like. youre going tonight right. and then saying it should be thrilling (sarcastically. he doesnt feel much toward the#other ppl we were meeting JDJJFJD. hes said this on several occassions)#n e way. one of us has to put on our big girl pants n i guess it has to be ME DNNDJDJXJX#im also like irrationally worried that he'll find someone else. idk where since he works at home anyway and overtime on top of that but#HJDJXJXJZJZ HHHHHHH#if thats the case tho then hes not the guy for me n thats that ya.... HDNDJDJDJ#literally hurting myself on ourpose like this is so fucjed up JDJDJJDD#why cant i just like. accept that maybe he does like me. like for sure we're friends n he cares about me enough but if its romantically...#well i dont want to Assume........#but i dont think you go to dinners filled with ppl you dislike just to hang out with a friend. i really dont NDJDJDNNZ#n e way#im just afraid to think that somethung good may happen for once. like its already a lot to handle rn that i have a job#if i also have a bf thats.... well is that even allowed for me to have#this sounds so JDJDJDJDJDJ irrational ik. but in my mind its like. idk. other ppl can do these 2 good things at once but i Can't......#idk
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#the burdent of not being understood. its annoying and i dont like it. also its my fault#because if u say something serious in a light tone ppl dont kno wtf to do. prob bc they dont kno if ur delusional or not and like dont#wanna upset u. but then its like annoying bc they still walk away worried and im like ok neither of us r happy bc u dont get how serious#thjs is but i cant tell u how serious it is without making u worried. and y should i make u worry if u can't fuckinf do anything abt it?#so its just annoying. which is to say i went to a retirement lunch today and it was as awkward as i imagined#bc it was me and my boss and a couple professors and i dont do well in these group situations anything so i spent a lotta time spaced out#not hearing anyone bc the noise in the room was messy and my brain was peeling away from my body. but whatever i was there. and my boss#drove us both and on the way back she started the. im worried abt u talk. which i feel like she was too hesitant abt it. which like i get#bc its awkward to bring up but like i dont give a fuck so idk i feel like u gotta start those conversations like. this is how watching u#makes me feel. idk whatever. and i was honest but like it was a 5min car ride so i didnt have thr time to be like ok heres the deal. ya#kno? so now im all annoyed bc my brain is fucking unbearable when i feel like i havent made my thoughts clear. and now its like. do i bring#it back up? or just let it go? whats to be gained by talking abt it? all that i have to say is upsetting bc im very aware im being self#destructive. thats the point. i get boried and my brain only lets me do like 2 things so i use those things to make myself insane. bc at#least then i can observe the symptoms of the stress im exherting on myself. and i kno that not good bc idk how to stop and ppl r always#like u gotta relax. what will help u relax? and im like u dont fucking understand. i cant regulate thr amount i like things. if i like#something i like it so much it becomes stressful. and i like drawing but its not relaxing. its a thing i have to do and its stressful bc im#constantly thinking abt making things perfect and never meeting thst mark. my happiest memories arent even happy moments theyre just times#where my brain stopped for a second and i could just breathe for a minute. so like i cant relax. i dont like anything a normal amount so#the solution must be medication. but my brain has decided im not allowed to fix this problem until i move away so like 🙃 and like i was#giving little bits of this in the car but its like lady i kno its a problem. ive known its a problem for years. the self awareness doesnt#help. except that it keeps me from doing anything extremely bad bc for me if i at least kno where it comes from i can b like ah yes. this#is fucking stupid lol. but i dunno how me sharing all this helps bc im sure it only raises the worry. but like its fine. i mean its not but#like ya kno. and i was kinda explaining how upsetting it is for me to have my schedule changed without warning even if its for things other#ppl would see as good and i wasnt thst firm abt it so it was: but i can't just do nothing for u! and i was like ugh fuck it fine whatever.#and like do i bring that back up bc it is like a respect my boundaries thing but like i feel like if i were anyone else it would be good#to drag someone out of their comfort zone but im being dragged into situations i find profoundly isolating bc i cant seem to function in#groups. ugh its just fucking annoying bc i dont want her to feel bad. i appreciate the effort but like ugh its exhausting. whatever. it was#anyway. im just annoyed thst i should have explained things better. also im annoyed thst i constantly forget most things taste bland and#then im annoyed when i hsve to eat bland things. i think my nose doesnt work right bc i csnt smell much either#unrelated
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yoshistory · 10 months
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i do also feel like The Pale Beyond holds your hand TOO much in some aspects but not enough in others
#there are parts in the story where literally a popup appears telling you why one of your traits made a character say something to you#and thats something i would MUCH rather like. interpret or figure out on my own. in a story-based game#and also makes like ... makes me feel like i can SEE behind the curtain of the game. that should be secret to me.#let ME think about why someone said something or did or didnt do something. dont TELL me why in a convenient popup#and in some parts of the game doing certain actions seemingly arbitrarily ends the day or is final when i really wish the game was like#just a small sentence telling me what actions are progression-based and what aren't. SOME of them are color-coded but not all#there was one point where the game was like ''you can choose one of these'' and then prompted me to assign someone to something#so i thought *I* could choose one and assign a person to another because a prior event had me do that#and me assigning the person WAS my one action. just wish it was clearer in some aspects in wording its finality.#espectially when it mirrors what the game has taught me prior and then does the opposite of what the expected outcome is#there are certain mechanics that feel unfair where (potential spoilers ahead) you can assign people to the med bay to rest but...#if there's open beds and you forgot to assign someone else into the bay you're out of luck and cant pull up the menu again#like. why cant i? the engineering panel allows me to pull it up again. as does the cooking pot. as does every other panel. why not this one#that specifically just feels like an oversight. that among OTHER things#like special items not proccing twice when they should#there's one item that when warming up freezing crewmates#the engineers will warm 2 instead of 1. but. if you assign two engineers to the task the same time#then they'll only heal 3 people total because the code accounts for the action preformed not the amount of engineers assigned to the action#and if you assign them in succession they'll do it successfully. which is annoying to have to remember and a huge oversight
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