#i dont think the blonde guy has a name SOB

[darkrootmushies]

More Rokuro and Serpo doodles YIPPEEE love them sososo much plus a shitty comic thing for funsies

[skyechild]

Tears covered in red

𖤐 pairing: Felix x reader (m/f)

𖤐 genre: soulmate, mafia au

𖤐 warnings: everything that goes along with mafia (ex. guns, blood, hospital setting in the first parts), language, one mention of human trafficking but just the word is said along with grooming. nothing in detail.

𖤐 wc: 7.3k

𖤐 notes: this has gotten really long for me so im thinking of making a part two. obviously it could go either way. i could make two endings.

𖤐 summary: tears covered in red can mean a lot of things, you just have to be able to decipher what it means when these intense pains and injuries appear.

𖤐 network and tag list: @cultofdionysusnet / @spooo00oky / @stravvberrymilksan /

"It hurts Hyun." You held your face in your hand, the other on your ribs, sitting on the floor of your bedroom, bent over as you sobbed. "Why does it hurt so much?" Hyunjin flailed his hands as he looked around. His soulmate mark wasnt like yours, its the only reason you were best friends, his was visible, yours wasnt. The amount of girls in school tried to pretend to have his mark made him highly trust cautious.

He ran to the kitchen, grabbing an ice pack and a hand towel to cover it before running back to you, gasping at the blood that was staining your side. "Uh, youre bleeding. I think your soulmate is injured..." You had the energy to give him a confused look. "What?"

He pressed the ice against your rib and winced as you hissed. "Im sorry N/n." He whispered before pulling his phone out to call his soulmate, you found out his name was Minho. Hyunjin's mark was a necklace of a lock that he couldnt remove. Minho having the key on his wrist.

Once he had picked up Hyunjin was frantically talking into his phone. "Help! Minho its Y/n shes bleeding and i dont know what to do!" There was rustling on the other side of the phone before Minho was yelling. "Take her to the damn hospital!" When you rapidly shook your head Hyunjin hissed. "She doesnt want to." There was the slam of a car door. "I dont give sweet fuck if she wants to or not, if you dont ill carry her ass to the hospital." You coughed, red landing on Hyunjins pants and he shrieked.

"She just coughed up blood!" Hyunjin was hysterical at this point, free hand flailing around your body. "Hyunjin listen to me. If you dont take her to the hospital." Somehow Minho was always the calm one during stressful situations, it usually made you giggle at times but this seemed to have the opposite reaction, calming you down, still coughing. Hyunjin looked at you, hearing the thinly veiled fear and threat in Minhos voice.

"Sorry but im gonna pick you up." Hyunjin spoke as he picked you up , wincing at the groan of pain you admitted. "Ill meet you at the hospital." That was the end of the call as Hyunjin ran to the car. He most likely broke a few laws as he pulled into the emergency room parking lot and carrying you into the room. "Shes hurt!" You grunted at his loud yelling, clutching to him as they tried to transfer you to a nurse.

He cooed softly, wiping your tears as he saw Minho run in. "Baby you have to let go so they can help." You started to shake your head before Minho came into view and you nodded. Minho could be scarry at times. By the time he got to your side, they had managed to peel you off of Hyunjin, who had blood on his stomach a few questions. "Are you hurt? Is she hurt?" He was in a daze as Minho answered. "Hes not hurt, she gets her soulmates injuries and wounds."

Once They had finished they both turned at the sound of the reluctant and angry yelling. "I dont need to be here! Seungmin can fix it!" There was a blonde guy followed by a guy with blue hair and Minho narrowed his eyes. He was bleeding the same place you were but didnt seem to be in as much pain as you were. He was angry. That was known.

Hyunjin takes notice of his boyfriends gaze and looks at the blonde who is being almost carried in. Looking at Minho he nods at the unspoken words. This had to be your soulmate. This was the dick that was consistently getting injured. Upon closer look he looked dangerous. There was an obvious imprint of a gun in both of their pants, hidden decently well until they lifted their arms and they got a peek. Hyunjin paled.

What the fuck was this guy doing that he had a gun?

"Felix please." The other was speaking calmly although almost literally dragging him towards the door. So the blonde was Felix. Minho took a step forward before Hyunjin grabbed his wrist, shaking his head quickly. "Y/n is more important then that douche over there." He watched as the anger slowly slipped off his face as he remembered the reason.

"We need to call her sister." Hyunjin bit his lip. Your sister made him a bit nervous. "Uhm, ok give me a moment." Hyunjin had grabbed your phone and unlocked it, its time like these he appreciates your friendship, before he slides down the contacts and stopping on your sisters contact.

"Hey little sis! Its been a while whats up?" Hearing her voice caused the nerves to kick in ten fold, causing Minho to snatch the phone. "Hello, Its Minho, Y/n's friend. We are currently at the hospital, it looks like her soulmate got badly injured so she has the same injury..." There was silence on the other end and Minho glanced at the phone, double checking to make sure the call was still ongoing. "Hello?" That seemed to snap Siyeon back into the call. "Fuck, ok what happened, what hospital?"

Minho glanced at the still struggling blonde. "Inje." There was shuffling. "Ok im on the way." Minho bit his lip. "Her soulmate is here..." Siyeon had to pause in her place before she picked up speed. "Im going to kill them." They heard the call hang up and they glanced over at the blonde, Felix. "Christopher let me go! It isnt that bad." They could tell it was a lie, his face was contorted in pain and he was bleeding, the same place as Y/n.

"Felix please, shut the fuck up." 'Christopher' seemed to yell back. "We cant be here Chris, its dangerous." They watched as nurses noticed him just outside the door. "Seungmin can only do so much, he doesnt have all the equipment for this." Felix hissed as he looked down at his ribs. "Then we will have to buy him some, we cant be at big hospitals like this."

Siyeon had just arrived once they had gotten close enough for the doors to slide open, almost knocking them over in the process, earning an angry curse. "Where is my sister?! Her names Lee Y/n. I was called and told that she was brought in." She startled the administrator who quickly looked down the computer, searching for her name. "Shes currently in surgery. Whatever happened to her soulmate is really bad." They looked up to make eye contact as Chris had managed to bring Felix in the rest of the way, muttered curses in pain and at Chris spewing from his mouth."

"Shes getting stitches and a blood transfusion." Siyeon stopped, frozen. "What do you mean blood transfusion?" Her gaze landed on Hyunjin who she recognized, his shirt and arms covered in blood. "Oh my god is that her blood?!" He nodded and Siyeon bit her lip as she grabbed him and hugged him tightly, the not yet dried blood transferring over to her shirt.

"Can you tell us as soon as she gets a room?" The nurse nodded before giving them a sympathetic smile as Siyeon waddled to the seats, still hugging Hyunjin who had broken down again once in the elders arms. "Im so sorry! I couldnt do anything, she just started bleeding, then coughing, when i came back from getting her ice theres was just blood everywhere i didnt know what to do at first." He was starting to babble, words slurred.

"Shes going to be ok." Siyeon didnt know if she was saying it for herself or for him. She stroked his hair. "We cant do much and its not good to stay here and brew in the bad feelings, plus we need to get us new shirts, hm?" Hyunjin nodded, sobs turning into sniffles as she let go of him. Minho took the others hand, holding back his own tears as they walked towards a gift shop.

It was the wrong idea.

Despite trying to avoid Felix, Siyeon caught sight of him. "Is that what her injury looks like?" She whispered, eyes locked on the blonde male. "...yes." They whispered and her fists clenched, the itch to punch him close. "He better hope she lives. Soulmates get their other halves injuries but worse." She murmured. "If my baby sister dies....hes paying for it." She bit out before shoulder checking him on the way out, an angry curse and a loud 'watch it!' following her.

It seemed the be the last string for her as she spun around, fire in her eyes as she walked closer. "You better hope my sister lives because of your dumbass! If she doesnt im killing you." She snapped. "Your dumb fucking actions causes your soulmate to get the same injuries except worse. Thats a threat." Felix huffed out a cough. "Sucks for her." The nurses managed to get him to another room before she could do anything. Siyeon rounded on the nurse. "Dont put him anywhere near my sister."

She stormed out without saying anything else, grabbing both Hyunjin and her shirts to buy and putting them on quickly. "These dumb fucking shirts, dumb fucking soulmate bonds." She mumbled before looking up at the two males, eyes softening. "Im sorry you had to see everything."

They shook their heads. "Im sure itll be ok, plus she didnt specify how much blood she lost...it could be just enough to need a transfusion." Minho calmed her down. "Lets go back to the seating area and sit down. Im pretty sure they have taken back the other guy." Siyeon took a breath before nodding, taking them up and walking back to the seating for the emergency room.

----

It had been a good few hours before they took notice of a nurse coming up to them. "Youre here for miss Y/n right?" Siyeon nodded and the nurse smiled. "The surger and transfusion was successful. But she will have to stay for a couple days for observation." There was a sigh of relief from Siyeon and Minho. Hyunjin had fallen asleep soon after they sat down. The adrenaline draining his energy once it had ended.

"If you would like, shes not conscious yet, but you can visit her." Siyeon nodded quickly as Minho woke up Hyunjin. All three following the nurse who led them out of the emergency room and towards a hall. They watched the doors before noticing your name on one of the doors. "Press the button on the remote if you need anything." Everyone nodded before filing into the room, your sister pulling up a seat to your side. "Hey baby." She whispered, hand brushing your hair back.

"Im so sorry you have a shitty soulmate." She choked out a laugh, tears starting to blur her vision. Hyunjin and Minho sat on the couch, turning on the tv to hopefully tune out, at least some, of the beeping and noises of the machines. "I wish i could fix it for you. He's here yknow? Your soulmate." She scoffed. "Hes a real dick." That brought out a snort from both boys who were listening quietly.

"His name is apparently Felix, thats what the guy he came with called him." Hyunjin spoke, moving to sit on your other side. Lowering his voice Hyunjin glanced at your sister. "They had guns Y/n. What if hes dangerous?" He bit his bottom lip, holding your hand. "I dont want you to be in danger." He whispered, holding your hand to his head and closing his eyes.

"This was the worst one so far." Minho mumbled. Usually he was the one able to patch up your wounds despite being a dance minor and majoring in being a vet. He moved to behind Hyunjin, hands on his shoulders. "Usually theyre just little cuts and scratches. Rarely on the edge of needing stitches." He sighed.

-------

The next night was when you had started gaining consciousness, hand twitching catching Minhos attention. "Y/n? Are you awake? Okay?" It caught the attention of Hyunjin who was sitting next to him. Siyeon had went to get them breakfast.

You groaned as your eyes fluttered open, hand moving to touch your side carefully before you gaze landed on Hyunjin, a dreamy smile on your face. "Its nice to know that even in the afterlife, we arent apart." Hyunjin remembered the doctor saying you might be a bit delirious from the meds.

He gave a watery smile. "You arent dead." Your gaze fell on Minho. "Hi." He whispered. "Even now, you dont leave Jinnies side." Minho chuckled softly. "Ill never leave his side. But im here for you too yknow? We are friends." You hummed quietly and Minho pressed the button to alert the doctor. "Im happy to have such pretty and loyal friends." You whispered and they smiled, giggling quietly.

There was a loud gasp and clatter as you turned to look at the door, Siyeon wide eyed and hands covering her mouth. "Oh my baby!" She cried, walking to your side and hugging you the best she could. "Shes a bit delirious from the meds like the doctors said she would be." Minho spoke.

"When did you turn your hair blue?" Siyeon smiled at your question. "Last week." You nodded, stroking her hair as she rested her head on your chest. "What happened?" Hyunjin bit his lip. "How much do you remember?" You hummed, threading your fingers through your sisters hair. "Not wanting to leave you." You furrowed your brows before nodding. "I think thats all..." Minho nodded. That was about when he saw you go limp in the nurses arms. "You dont remember me?" You shook your head slowly. "Once you let go of Jin you went unconscious." Your eyes widened.

How does Hyunjin feel?

Your gaze moved to Hyunjin who had taken Minhos spot, resting his head on the bed next to your hand. "Jinnie im so sorry." You whispered, threading your fingers in his hair as his eyes got watery. "Dont cry." You wiped his cheeks as he sniffled, letting a tear drop. "I was so scared. You needed surgery and a blood transfusion." You frowned, stroking his cheek. ""I'm ok now."

The doctor walked in, smiling when he saw the way all of them were around you. "May i take her vitals and check her over real quick?" It took a minute to pry Siyeon away from you. "Everythings looking good so far." He commented once finished. "Lets try to eat something small, how about pudding?" You nodded slightly. "We can grab you water as well."

You smiled as you turned to the others. "Y/n..." You looked at Hyunjin. "Your soumate came in a little bit after they took you back..." Your eyes widened, trying to moveto sit up more. "No dont move!" You huffed but listened. "He is?" Siyeon shrugged. "Maybe, its been a day and yknow your soulmate gets what injury and pain they have but worse." You nodded, frowning. "I dont think hes a good guy Y/n..." You looked at Hyunjin and Minho's faces, both boys' eyes not meeting yours.

"How would you know?" You wanted them to look at you. Minho sighed. "They had guns hidden in their pants." You paused, looking down as you forced yourself to sit up. "Maybe its for protection? Sanie carries." You picked at your nails. "Baby, he was aggressively trying to not come in. He was complaining about how someone named Seungmin could patch him up." You sighed.

"Y/n...you always try to find the best in people but i dont think you can in this situation. Seonghwa cant help you...hes still just a med student. Hes fucking exhausted by himself." Minho spoke, sitting on the side of the bed, placing a hand on your knee.

"I know you want him to be safe...but i dont think he is. I'm worried that once you see him the bond will kick in and you wont be able to leave his side for 48 hours. I dont want you to be in danger like that." His voice was firm but sympathetic. "You have to avoid the feeling of buzzing and go the opposite way."

You understood where your friends and sister were coming from, but that was your soulmate, werent you supposed to be with him? Maybe make him a better person. You looked up at Minho then over at Hyunjin, then your sister. "But..." They shook your head.

-----

A couple days later you were released from the hospital. Hyunjin had never left your side, Minho bringing notes from your classes. You were never alone. You were both happy, and growing annoyed by it. You wanted freedom and as much as you loved Hyunjin and your sister, you were a bit tired of them breathing down your throat. Minho tried to drag Hyunjin away sometimes.

You were thankful that Seonghwa would stop by every few days, checking up on the wounds. "I think you should get some fresh air. Alone." He gave everyone a stern look. "Just be careful ok?" You nodded. You were tempted to start carrying like San did.

Nodding again you grinned. Finally freedom. You stood up and Hyunjin huffed, not wanting to leave your side. Maybe you'd go to the mall. You got dressed, being careful with your wound as you slipped on a jacket. "I promise ill call you if i need you Jinnie." He sighed and crossed his arms, but nodded reluctantly. "Fine. Be safe." You smiled widely, tip toeing to kiss his cheek as a thank you and a sorry. "Ill see you in a few hours Jinnie." He pouted but watched as you left out the door.

You held your phone tightly, deciding against putting in your headphones in this time. You hummed a long to a song yelping as you rolled your ankle over a small crack in the sidewalk. You bit your lip, hopping a bit as you limped to the closest bench. You took a breath and pulled up your pant leg to scan the injury. The feeling of your wrist buzzing, made you tense. Your gut feeling and Minhos voice telling you to leave but your head and curiosity prevented it.

You heard the muffled curse at the same time you had rolled your ankle. "Im going to fucking lose it. Why are they so clumsy, its been a few days and despite the twinges of pain which im not sure if theyre mine or theirs. Its been nice not to feel this." You listened to the voice. It was deep and almost soothing if it wasnt threatening words you might have been falling at his knees like a lost puppy.

Your gaze was brought up when the buzzing got more aggressive. You stood up, quickly trying to walk away from where the voice was coming from. He was getting so close, Minhos words in your mind again. He has a gun Y/n. stop drooling over his voice....but its so deep and- No y/n, pull it together. Just because you have a thing for voices doesnt mean anything. You tried to convince yourself.

It seemed to be in vain when you feel a hand wrap around your wrist, the buzzing stopping at the touch. Your soulmate found you. You pulled away, hand holding the injury protectively, eyes scanning him to find the gun on his waist. They werent lying, he did have a gun. Your face paled.

"Youre lucky that i cant kill you." He hissed, pulling you into the alley. "Youre the reason i almost died? I needed a transfusion you dick." It seems that your words threw him off enough to where you could get his hand off. "Now that you touched me, if we get to far away we can slowly die." You snapped. "Im stuck being at the side of whatever the fuck you are." You reached for your phone to call Hyunjin. Why you didnt call the police first didnt pass your mind.

He snatched it from your hand, sliding it in his back pocket as he glared. "Shut the fuck up and let me talk." You went quiet, eyes wide and locked on him. Both your arms wrapped around your waist in protection. Backing up against the wall you bit your lip. "Im Felix." He spoke, body posture relaxed while yours was tense.

"I apologize that you get my wounds but worse." You glared. "What the fuck did-" He held his hand up, glaring. "Dont ask questions." You scoffed, rolling your eyes. What a prick. You think and he crosses his arms. "Do not roll your eyes at me."

"Why are you so fucking bossy?" He raises a brow. "Because i run a mafia? Why else?" You blink a few times. Its a habit you gained from Minho. Your free hand tugging at your ear lobe, fidgeting with the skin. "Mafia?" You whisper and he nods. "Does being a dick come with the job?" He paused, a smile curling his lips a bit.

"You got balls baby." You glared. "Dont call me that!" He snickered before he sighed. "Well, you might as well tell your friends or whoever that you wont be seeing them for 48 hours." You shake your head. "You can suffer for all i care. Im not staying by your side." He rose a brow. "You know youll suffer just as much." He states and your glare sharpens. "Im not going to be some eye candy or toy that you had at your disposal."

Felix nodded, understanding where you were coming from for once. "I can understand where you're coming from." He tries to sooth. Its then your head takes notice of his voice again. Its deep but smooth. It kind of makes your knees wobbly if you think about it too long. You have a fleeting thought of asking if he smokes.

Going by the proximity you toss away the thought, he doesnt smell of smoke. "I'll protect you." You frown. "What makes you think that i want your protection? I wouldnt need it if my soulmate wasnt some fucking mafia boss." A muscle in his jaw twitches, his patience running thin.

"I know this is less then ideal-" You snort, cutting him off, ignoring his glare. "Thats an understatement." He clenches his fists. "-but we have to sort this out." Your phone vibrates in your pocket and you ignore it for listening to him, staying silent. "So for now can we just, do the 48 hours then go on with our lives?"

Is he planning on just tossing you out after the time limit? You scoff. "Once these hours are over, im going back to Hyunjin and Minho." You huff. Once you find your soulmate its hard to do anything without them. You cant leave the country without them, you cant go a certain distance away. You use to love the idea of soulmates, growing up with excitement to find your soulmate and find love.

"Hyunjin and Minho?" His voice changes, taking on a slight possessive tone. "I havent even known you for an hour, you have no right to be jealous."

He broke everything you had dreamed of. Your soulmate was a criminal. A very dangerous man. And he ruined it all within an hour. Your hand rests against the injury. "Come with me, we can get coffee and talk about what to do." You rolled your eyes, deciding to comply. You followed after him as he walked towards a building, your phone now gripped tightly in your hand.

"Ill stay with you for the 48 hours. But then im leaving and i never want to see you again." You speak once you both sit down. "Ill see if theres anyway to break a bond without one of us dying." His eyes grow wide, panic and a slight tinge of hurt. "...you hate the idea of me so much that youd go that far?" His voice lowers into a whisper.

"Felix, if thats even your real name, what am i supposed to do? Live in danger if i end up loving you?" You were still on guard. "Have to be paranoid if im out alone? I just got freedom back and now im losing it once again..." You whispered, looking at him.

"You know what? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. If you, within these 48 hours, manage to get me to somewhat care for you or something, i wont try and break the bond." He nods, listening quietly. It wasnt hard to gain your sympathy or even attention.

Felix places his hands in his lap, thinking for a moment. "I know you hate the idea of me but. I dont know you and you dont know me. How about we dont judge a book by its cover?" You tensed. Your mom always said that.

"Fine. We can try to restart." You sat up straight, a strained smile on your lips. "Hi, nice to finally meet you soulmate. You gave my quite an...injury...last week." You took a breath. "Im Y/n. I hope we can start as friends and see if anything happens."

Felix looks at you with shock before he scrambling a bit to gather himself. "Hello. Im Felix. Its nice to meet you and im sorry about that." He holds out a hand and you meet it in the middle, a soft smile pulling at your lips. His hand is smaller then you thought and surprisingly soft for someone who uses a gun often. (You assume that.)

If you didnt know about his line of work, you mightve fell in love. Hes pretty, almost pixie like. Blonde hair and what looks like freckles across his nose and cheeks, his features fit his face and his eyes are sharp. He was all hard lines and tensed muscles when you were outside, now he seems to have softened a bit, no mare hard lines at the moment.

You embrace the warmth his hand gives before taking your hand away. "So it seems like we will be stuck together for 48 hours. I hope you arent busy." You watch as Felix hesitates before shaking his head. "Not anymore." He hums after. "Would you like to come to my place? I have somewhere else we could stay."

He was planning on taking you to a safe house anyway. Away from enemy eyes. You nod and stand up, shooting a quick text to Hyunjin about whats going on, wincing at the flurry of texts that come quickly after. Theyre from everyone that you were with. Even a text from Seonghwa comes in, reminding you to be careful. You werent sure if he was talking about your injury or the person youre with.

You smile softly at your phone. You wouldve loved being Seonghwas soulmate, or even any of his friends. Looking up at Felix you find him watching you and you struggle to not twist your face into something horrible. He looks curious. "I told my friends and sister that i have to stay with you because some-" You take a breath. Treat him like a normal person, try to think of him as just a pretty man youve figured out is your soulmate. You got this.

"Because we had contact. Im excited to get to know you." You have to force the words out but them come anyway. Felix feels the smallest bit bad. Your reflex is obviously fight instead of flight. While he appreciates that, it might affect you in the future if you do end up by his side. He will have to get you into some self defence training with Chan.

He smiles, it looks natural and you hate how just a regular smile lights his whole face up. Makes him look so innocent and sweet. "We can go." You scan his face. "I hope its ok that i had my friend grab you some clothes...we only have hoodies and sweats that will probably be too big..." Your eyebrow twitches but you nod. "Thats ok!"

When he walks out with you theres a car that stops infront of you. the windows are almost blacked out so you cant see inside but Felix nudges you towards the door. "This is Chan. Hes gonna take us to my place." You nod. "Nice to meet you Chan." He nods back. "Im Y/n." He cracks a smile. He cant let you know he already knows everything about you. From your birth to the current day.

"Likewise." He returns. "Man of a few words? Thats probably nice sometimes." He chuckles lightly as he flicks a glance at you from the rearview mirror before taking off towards a safe house. "Jeongin is finished. Place is stocked." He says towards Felix who nods, relaxing back against the chair and closing his eyes.

It goes quiet and you can feel the medicine for your injury wearing off, it causes you to cringe. Chan's eyes flicking towards yours in the mirror before they glanced at Felix. Having a wordless conversation before Felix turned his gaze towards you. "Do you need pain meds?" You had to take breath, trying not to shoot him a glare but youre sure it a bit sharp deadpanned stare. "Yes." Your voice was curt but you can blame it on the pain this time.

"I'll get our doctor to get something for you." You shook your head. "I can just text Seonghwa." He shook his head. "He cant know anything." You bit back a curse. "He doesnt. He just knows everything and would save you time." He huffed. "You dont trust my doctor?" You shook your head. "Felix, i dont even trust you, how can i trust any of your people?" He looked out the window.

You had a point and he didnt want to admit it. Hell, he didnt trust you so why would he trust your friends. "Can he send you the dosage and name?" You huffed. "Ill see if he can." You keep a hand on your rib while the silence felt like it got louder. "What were you even doing to get this bad of a wound." You mumbled, more to yourself as he pulled your hand away, making sure the warmth wasnt from blood and just from the temperature of your skin.

"I heard my sister gave you some threats." Did you want to apologize? Fuck no. "Careful she might make due." You spoke, turning to look at him, humming quietly as he met your eyes. "She did. I dont blame her, it seems you almost died because of me." You hummed silently. "I needed blood transfusions and Hyunjin was covered in my blood." You huffed before the car pulled into a garage. "I see..." He trailed off as Chan parked.

"Why did i have to be the one who got the bad side of the pain." You mumbled as Chan got out and opened your door. "Are you able to walk?" You hesitated before you took his help to get out and stand up. He kept you stable as Felix watched. He gave you a few steps to test. "My rib hurts but i think its possible to walk." He nodded, letting go of you slowly as Felix huffed to himself and walking off towards the elevator.

The elevator reminded you of the one in Willy Wonka's factory. As soon as you and Chan had joined him. The other walking behind you just incase. You leaved against the wall. It was nice and cold. The comfort only lasted before the elevator shot to the right, feeling like it was going by a few blocks before slamming to a stop.

You were going to get flung around if Chan had not caught you and held you to his side. How these two werent stumbling around like you was a bit confusing. The elevator shot up, leaving your stomach down at the bottom. You groaned in pain. "Was there a less painful way to get to this place?" You looked towards Chan who had a look of sympathy on his face.

Felix shook his head. "No." You frowned, glancing towards him before nodding, leaning against Chan's chest. Maybe you werent ready to walk by yourself. Chan kept you still as the elevator slowed to a stop, a soft ding ringing out as the doors open. As if it hadnt left you stomach back at the beginning. You walked out on wobbly stops, knees giving out onto soft carpet. "I feel like im going to vomit." You breathed.

Felix walked towards you, sighing as he placed a hand on your head. "Im sorry about the elevator." He sounded sincere even when you glared him. "Ill see if Jisung can do something about it. It is pretty aggressive." You rested your forehead against the ground. "I feel horrible. " Felix sighed lightly. "The place should be stocked, do you want to eat?" You glanced up at him as you laid on your back. "I can cook."

He frowned. "Why cant i cook for you?" Chan snickered softly as he helped you up. "You like to use too much butter one cooking. Stick to baking." You rose a brow. "You bake?" He nodded, standing up and walking with the both of you as he placed you in a chair, handing you your phone. "Can you text your friend to ask?" You nodded, quickly texting Seonghwa.

"Im too tired for this." You mumbled as your phone vibrated with the answer, relaying the information you smiled at the text that came in. A sad face from Hyunjin along with a 'i miss you.' and your gaze softened. Replying back with the same emoji and 'i miss you too.' You smiled at your phone, the fondness in your grin making Felix sneer slightly as he stormed into the kitchen.

Turning to Chan you tapped his hand. "Will i be able to talk to my friends? Like, on call and video calls?" You watched as he nodded. "Yeah, youre safe here. If anything is wrong, come find me yeah?" You nodded, smiling lightly.

Maybe if this man was your soulmate youd stay. But your actual soulmate and all but stormed to the kitchen. You frowned. "I have to make a call to our doctor for your meds, please excuse me. Feel free to wander." You nodded as he got up to leave.

Getting up you held your stomach. You couldnt decide if your stomach or rib hurt more. You wobbled into the kitchen to see Felix riffling through the fridge. "...are you hungry Felix?" You know he heard you coming. "...a bit. I havent eaten today." You nodded, nudging him out of the way as you grabbed a few items. "Go sit down, ill make kimchi jjigae for us." You watched as he nodded.

"Once Seungmin gets here hes going to give you a quick look over then give you the meds." You nodded at his words. "Hopefully today wasnt too straining on your wound." You turned to look at him before grabbing rice cakes out of the freezer when you found them.

"Last time i checked it wasnt bleeding but it hurts a lot." You admitted and Felix sat on a stool at the island, watching as you cooked. Once Chan came into the kitchen he smiled. "What are you making?" You smiled at him, not noticing Felix's glare. "Kimchi jjigae and im making tteokbokki on the side."

"You just met Chan, youve known him barely as much as me but you're already smiling at him?" Felix couldnt help the slight bitterness to his tone. His gaze fell on you then Chan. "Contrary to popular belief Felix. He gives warm vibes and seems like someone who would actually protect me and not dragging me places." Chan hummed. "Maybe dropping your dick like behavior in front of others, especially your soulmate..." He emphasized the word. "...you would get along better."

Felix narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth before closing his mouth as the elevator opened, a shorter boy with orange hair being revealed as the doors opened. "Seungmin." Felix greeted and you visibly perked up. Seungmin meant medicine, medicine meant dulled or no pain for a few hours.

"Seungmin, youre the doctor? You have medicine for me?" You smiled softly as he nodded. "I need to give you a check up first. I know your friend already did one, but im a different doctor, you know how that is." You nodded, stepping away from the food, turning the heat down so it wouldnt burn.

Turning you walked towards the other male, bowing slightly. "Hello, im Y/n." He nodded. "Seungmin, and i know who you are, youre our boss' soulmate." You poked your cheek with your tongue. "I'd rather not." He chuckled, nodding as he let you into a spare room. "So how has it been?"

You sigh, sitting down on the table as your head fell back. "Well this injury..." He motioned you to remove your shirt and you did so after a bit of hesitation. "Was his fault. I get the shorter end of the stick and whatever injury or pain he has, is doubled for me." Seungmin winced as he scooted closer on his chair.

"Im sorry, that sucks." His words are genuine and you rubbed your eyes. "Yeah, apparently i was in surgery for a few hours and had to get blood transfusions." His eyes flicked up to yours as he started to unwrap the bandage around your mid section. "Let me know if it hurts." You nod. While you had a high pain tolerance, it felt non existent at the moment. "I think the meds wore off because the pain and ache is back." He nods, checking the injury carefully.

He grabbed a few items and cleaned around it. "Til it gets a better we are going to have to keep it bandaged. I was thinking about second skin but not with stitches." You nod, understanding. "Man that is bad, what did he do?" He mumbled, more to himself. "Doesnt look like a bullet wound. Did he get fucking stabbed or something?" He sounded mad and you smiled softly. "Are you going to yell at him?" He looked at at you before chuckling as he wrapped gauzed around your mid section again.

"Maybe." You nodded. "He needs to be more careful since he knows you get it worse." You sighed. "Y/n, i promise hes not as bad as he seems." You shook your head, looking down at the floor. "He has 48 hours to try and make me change my mind before going to get the bond broken."

Seungmin's mouth drops, shock on his features. "Really?" You nodded. "Isnt that a bit much?" You shrugged as your eyes counted the tiles. "I use to want a soulmate since i was little. They sounded so cool, my parents bond was puzzle pieces." He smiled unconsciously. "My sisters is constellations. That one is incredible." The smile on your face slowly disappeared. "But then i got stuck with this one. You get your soulmates pain but times two." You bit your lip.

"Did you know, my friends and sister met him while i was in the hospital?" He listened carefully, sitting back on the chair. "She told me she threatened him." You giggled softly. "This was the first time ive ever thought about breaking my bond." You clenched your fist, digging your nails into your palms.

Felix felt the pain in his palm, frowning softly. The imprint of fingernails appearing as he sighed. While he got the dulled pain side, you got the worse side. He did feel the slightest bit bad.

"What if you cant break it?" Your gaze snapped up back to Seungmin. "What?" He crossed his arms. "Ive never thought about that. I've heard of a few people breaking their bonds but it never ended well. It ended up with one losing all feelings." You locked eyes with him. "You could see if you could possibly get a new one?" You looked down, taking in his words.

"I've never heard of that..." Seungmin shrugged. "It's a bit hush hush right now. The government is trying to see if the ones that break their bonds could possible be paired up with someone else who broke theirs." Your eyes widened. "Do you work with the government?!" He nodded. "But im more of a mole for Skz." You rose a brow. "Thats the name of our mafia." You nodded.

"I'll think about it. Especially if Felix doesnt succeed." He nodded before standing up and helping you down before letting you leave first after giving you some medicine. "Youre a life saver Seungmin." You whispered, exchanging a smile with him as he left. You walked back to the kitchen, the idea swirling in your head. They were seeing if it was possible to change soulmates? Does that mean changed marks? You sighed to yourself, starting back on cooking the food.

Once finished you served some to Felix and Chan, a weak smile at them both. "Where will i be sleeping?" Felix hummed, scanning your figure. "Theres a room thats next to mine, that will be yours." You nodded, sitting across and down from both males, going quiet, head swimming with thoughts. You started eating, not noticing the glances and whispered words between the two boys.

You sighed quietly, gaining the attention of them. "Have you heard of getting a new soulmate if you break your original one?" Felix held back his anger. "You cant let that go? Even for a moment?" You looked up at him, anger in your eyes. "Being your soulmate could kill me Felix. "I have friends i love, i have a sister and parents i love. Im not going to give that up for my soulmate." You stood up. "Im done." You spoke, placing your empty bowl and plate in the sink.

"Im not ok being the soulmate of someone who is so dangerous and obviously gets hurt often. My body can only take so much before it starts giving up." You spoke, looking at both males with watery eyes. "You might be ok with all of this. But im not. Youre not the one the short end of the stick." You turn to face them. "To make it even better, im stuck here for 48 hours with nothing to do, i cant see my friends, cant see my sister." Theyre quiet for a moment.

"Theres a tv in every room-." You cut off Chan. "That doesnt do anything Chan! Am i supposed to sit and watch tv for 48 hours?" He sighed. "Youre supposed to be getting to know each other." You wanted to reply, yell back and curse at them. But you knew Chan would do whatever to get you to at least talk to Felix.

"I know you dont have the best image of Felix right now, or any of us. But give him a chance?" You looked at Chan for a moment. "Theres so many restrictions if we dont break the bond. One of us cant leave the country, we can only be so many hours apart and more on top of that." You sighed, sitting back down right infront of Felix. "So talk. I said id give you 48 hours." Felix sighed before nodding.

He talked, for hours. His hobbies, his team and friends. Hoe he had siblings and how he missed them. He talked about some of his past and how he grew up, talked about how he got into this. You learned this group tried to prevent drug trades, stop human trafficking and grooming. You looked down at the table. He told you everything they did and stood for.

It aligned with what you stood for.

[ghxstchronicals]

idk. I don't think I could ever imagine myself being in haru's position ... the amount of religious trauma I would obtain from my parents - especially my dad after my mom passed. can't even have a boyfriend or thoughts about one without getting "disciplined" for it

not to mention the man i'd inadvertently turn my twin brother into - wanting to be the one getting attention from our parents, but never getting as much as me - plaguing his mind into the half-witted monster he is now, a psychopathic narcissist with that need for the spotlight and for things to always be bent his way

accidentally overdosing, being confused when I wake up...i don't have any special bonds, if I can remember correctly. no, I don't; my twin brother got out of canada before I did - he envied me. my mother's dead but our relationship wasn't... then there's my dad. so why am I alive?

oh. my question becomes answered when I bump into my twin at a carnival and he forces his number back into my phone...??? he wanted to stay in touch with me?? okay..

yeah, I end up getting out and going to college - but it still feels...empty, yunno? something's missing and wrong, and I don't know what it is.

i dont, until some depressed guy catches my eye. oh, wait, he's pushing me away, okay-

nevermind. I'm his friend now! :D

his name's Dilon. he's very cold, and has way too much sass and sarcasm for one (1, singular) depressed person. but he has a lot of emotional baggage...that he won't tell me about..

... I don't know what happens, but I wake up in his bed, and by the time my eyes are open, I catch him scrambling out of it wordlessly. my chest almost hurts, but not just because of the quick withdrawal - did I really do this? I just slept with a guy.

i try not to think much of it, but it happens again, and again, and again, even though he's the one insisting every time is the last.

it was only when i called a stop to the sex one day and cried out of guilt and the fear of the consequences I'd face for sinning - and he understood and got off his knees just to make sure I was alright,

that I realized i loved this guy.

and the feelings never went away - i loved him. I can love somebody.

but can he love me back?

i would think so...but i thought i'd have to hear it from him first.

... I really regretted asking. hell, I regretted going over.

but I couldn't help but to see a ring on his finger, one he hadn't worn around me before. I assumed it was just jewelry--he was rich and he wasn't very humble about it (I found that out after I fucked up his, apparently, thousand dollar fur coat). so of course, i'd ask.

...what do you mean you're married?

you have a wife? what?

she just...for the past year, she hasn't been here?

then- then what was the point of you still having the ring? she obviously wasn't coming back. she left, and we were-

"All my heart belongs to her, Haru. I. love you, I really do. However, I could never love you the way I love her." (my favorite part in the whole Google doc)

i wasn't even a rebound. I was barely a rebound. I was, originally, just here to past time until his stupid wife came back. who even was she? it's been a year, he never even talked about her. she's not coming back-

i get punched when I say this. what's wrong with me? is what i'd usually ask myself if I was thinking straight.

we almost fall out after that.

almost.

because if I wasn't already in his house when he stumbled in, staring at the floor like he just saw a ghost - and then promptly knocking over his furniture and collapsing down the wall and sobbing -- if I wasn't there to hold him, against my better judgement, we would've probably never spoken again.

i can taste something bitter in my mouth again as he mentions her.

apparently, he had seen her. they bumped into each other...but she didn't recognize him.

hell, she was even calling someone else her husband. some blonde guy.

i hate myself for a moment when I think I have a chance, finally. but the more rational side of me thinks, knows not to say anything. because if I do, then all the words would be for myself.

i didn't think it was possible to hate someone I hadn't even met, or seen pictures of yet, for that matter. I'm not usually a hateful person, despite everything i'd been through and then some.

but I can't help but think she's ruined everything for me. I don't even know her name.

i just cant believe she made me lose what wasn't even mine yet.

but then I think...

would he have ever been mine, either way?

[ikissjesse]

drunk 4☆town hc's !!

inspired by @tyngluv <33 (yes im ur Shy Moot™️ hehehhehhe)

aaron t

sentimental drunk or flirty drunk (or both.. either way he's emotional as shit when drunk)

1. sentimental drunk: will spend all night telling the other members how much he loves them, reminiscing abt old times (both real and imagined), n crying bc they "dont hang out like the old days anymore"

2. flirty drunk: flirting w anyone n EVERYONE. once sobbed in robaires arms bc aaron z wouldnt give him his number

does cheesy pick up lines n tries to impress the other members of 4town, not realizing theyre all already friends w one another (#friendzoned) sometimes they play along n flirt back or give him their number (even tho he already has all of them)

drunk aaron t makes their contact names stuff like "cute blond guy" n shit, when he's sober he calls the numbers to see who all these ppl are n gets fucking jumpscared by his friends laughing on the other end

aaron z

either doesn't drink or is a professional drunk

If he's a professional drunk he's got no symptoms, quite literally, as the title says, a professional at drinking. In other words, he's an alcoholic

robaire

the dramatic/sad drunk, he'll cry at just abt anything. probably sings "burn" from hamilton thinking his non-existent husband cheated on him

"iiiiIIIIIM ERASING MySELF FROM THE NARRATIVE

LET FUTURE HIS- *choked sob* TORIANS WONDER HOW ROBAIRE REACTED WHEN U BROKE HIS HEAAAAART"

( aaron t has it on video n teases him abt it regularly )

clings onto tae young while asking "why did he(his husband??) do thiiss :(((" thru hiccups n tears

tae young

sloppy drunk, stumbles around n most-likely has to b carried by one of his friends at the end of the night

jesse

the chill drunk, like strangely chill for a man w 2 kids. someone could set fire to the tour bus n he would b like "oh warm thing pretty hehe"

aaron t actually did set fire to something on accident n jesses drunk ass just started making smores

➽──────────❥

ty for readingg <33

sorry for making aaron t n robaires hc's so long LMFAOOO i had a lot to write abt them 😭

edit: also vvv sorry abt how short the others hc's r hELPP

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[anne-white-star]

Band queen x reader depressed!reader: Don't do it

Please before you read this x reader

Here is a link to a post with phone numbers to difrent suicide hotlines please stay safe and alive and remember you are important and loved!!💗💗💗

Notes : reader is depressed after her parents broke up her grandma is on her death bed And her boyfriend cheated on her with an other girl. The Queen boys come acros her about to take her own life by jumping of a bridge (takes place in London at the tower bridge) this is just a story and is not acurate takes place during the early years of queen

Sorry for any spelling mistakes

Words: 1287

Warnings : cursing attempted suicide, depression fluff and comfort at the end

(Gif isnt mine)

"What do you mean you don't love me anymore?! Could't you have said that before you cheated on me, its already hard enough for me david, my parents are getting devorced and my grandma is on her death bed!!!!!!"

"Oh its hard for you y/n, don't you understand, im in love with someone els while being stuck with you."

"You fucking asshole, thats it get out i don't want to see your fucking face here ever again!"

"You can't kick me out"

"Yes i can who is the person who is paying for the roof above your head, me! Who is the person working two jobes?, me!, get the fuck out before i break something like your fucking arm!!!"

"You crazy bitch"

"Try me david i fucking dare you, now get out!!!"

"Fine but don't come back to me if you need somone"

Tears streamed down y/n her face "Oh dont worry about that" when david was finaly out the door she slamed it closed and broke down crying.

"Why can't life be easy for me, why everything at once why why why!!!" She stood up And walked to her desk and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and started to write

Dear person who finds this letter

As i write this its to mutch for me to continue on with my life with everything happening at once.

i don't really know how to get out of this situation other than ending it all.

if anyone finds this letter please let my family and Friends know i love them

Lots of love from

Y/n y/l/n

When she finished wrighting the paper was soaked by her tears, y/n stood up And placed the paper on the coffee table and walked out the front door down the street on her way to the tower bridge.

At the same moment at The Vault 1894 (its a pub near the tower bridge, its just for the story so its not acurate that they went here) a group of friends walked out on their way back home

"I personaly think the gig went extremly wel what about you Fred?"

"Oh darling we were amazing up there"

"My hands hurt a bit i guess i went a bit to hard on the guitar" Brian laught

Roger laught as wel "My head hurts a bit from headbanging to mutch"

"Lets get home for a drink darlings we deserved it" they started to walk over the bridge to the other side

Back to y/n, she had climed on the side of the bridge and stood there just looking over the water contemplating if she should do it or not, the tears started to fall again "im so sorry for failling everyone" and with that she jumped

But before she was to far down a hand shot out and grabed her over the side of the bridge "hold on don't let go!!" Looking up with a tear stained face she was met with four concerned faces looking down in her the man that was holding on to her had long blond hair that went to his shoulders. "Freddie please help?!"

The man called Freddie leaned over the side and grabed her by the back of her jacked "please let go of me im good for nothing please?!" She started to sob more

"Oh darling please let us help you please hold on" he put out his other hand y/n looked up at Freddie and grabed it, both Freddie and the blond man pulled her over the railing safely

"There you go are you alright?"

"It honestly could be better" she said softly with tears down her face while rubbing her arms

"Here take this" the man with the longer brown hair gave his jacked to her, y/n took it and put it over her shoulder

"Thank you" she rubbed her eyes

The man with the curly hair kneeld infront of her "Hey is it a good idea if we go somewhere els and not here it might do you better" he held out his hand for her to take

"A..alright Yes lets do that" she took his hand and stood up

"Iets go to our place for the night if thats alright with you?"

"Its fine with please lead the way" y/n said with a soft voice

The boys kept looking at her from time to time and Freddie hold her hand softly in his, when they arived at The hotel that they stayed the night. Once they arived at The door they let her go in first she went to sit on the coutch that stood in the cornor and pulled her legs up to her chin and hid her face

"I'll go and make some tea fred" said the tall curly man

"Alright Brian" said Freddie, the man called Brian went in to the kitchen to boil some tea

Freddie sat next to y/n on the coutch "now tell me dear what's your name'?"

"Y/n" came the muffled replie

"Well hello y/n, my name is Freddie Mercury, the man in the kitchen is Brian may the blond is roger taylor and the guy with the long brown hair is John deacon but you can call him deaky"

John sat down on the other side of the coutch and rubbed his arm over her back "would you mind telling is whats wrong y/n? What happend we want to help you"

She sniffed "wel i had a lot of crap comming over me the past few months, i have been sufering from depression for a few years now and the past few months its been really going down hill"

Brian came back in the room "here drink this it might help" he held out a cup of tea

"Thank you" she took the cup in her hands and smelled the sweet aroma of the tea

"Would you mind telling is more? If you don't want to thats fine"

She sighed "wel a lot of family problemes have been hapening, my parents are getting a divorce my grandma is on her death bed and my boyfriend cheated on me with an other girl, its just to mutch its al happening at the same time" the tears once again flowed down her face

"Oh dear come here" Freddie hugged her and held her close, she clinged to Freddie like he was going to disapear

"Thank you four so mutch i don't know you guys for that long but you made me feel a lot more welcome the past hour than people did the past year thank you" she dried her tears and sat up straight

"Please stay the night we don't think its a good idea For you to go home just yet" said roger

"thats fine, i don't mind sleeping on the coutch"

"Alright we get you some blankets and a pillow so that you can make yourself comfortabele"

"Thanks Brian i apriciate it"

Once everything was set and put up everyone started to get to get ready to go to bed

"If there is anything you need please wake us don't be afraid to do so alright? "

"Alright thanks deaky thank you all So mutch i can't thank you enough"

"Its nothig dear now go get some rest" Freddie gave her a kiss on the fourhead and all the boys went back to their rooms

"Good night you all"

"Good night y/n sweet dreams"

that night after a whole year of sleepless nights and nightmares y/n had finaly a good night of sleep, she was so extreemly thankfull that they saved her and made her feel welcome.

And then she knew that there was always somone looking out for her

The end

I hope you guys enjoyed reading

And please note that if you have depression or know somone who has it please talk to somone about it and get help you deserve to be happy and you are loved♥️♥️♥️

Please consider rebloging if you like the story and leaving a coment is alright to i would love to hear what you think 😊

thank you all for reading ♥️♥️♥️

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Magic Marinette

Marinette is Zatanna's older cousin and can practice magic herself. Her magic is different however. For most low level spells she simply has to think of what the spell is intended for. For a harder spell she needs to chant much like Zatanna.

Marinette practices at home with her Uncle Zatara occasionally visiting with Zatanna. Magic comes naturally to Marinette, she likes to claim that it just flows in and out of her.

Marinette is 13 (Zatanna is only 6) when she becomes Ladybug, her magic and Tikki's combining flawlessly. The two are a magical power house, so much so that Marinette has to lock her aura down so that she'll only appear as a low level mage. Zatara is proud of his niece for becoming a hero, although he isn't exactly pleased, he knows better than to mess with the Kwami.

He is there for her every step of the way only a call away. When Marinette's friends turn against her and she ends up with only four left  he and Zatanna are there to comfort her. When her parents start feeding into the lies he is incredibly angry. Especially when he sees the broken look on his beloved nieces face. Zatara is quick to suggest he take complete custody over Marinette, her parents agree and sign away their rights.

Zatara helps Marinette pack her things and moves her into an apartment in Paris. Until Marinette is 18 he'll be spending the majority of his time in Paris with her. Zatanna grows up beside Marinette looking up to her as a big sister. Marinette lives up to that roll always spoiling Zatanna. 

When Marinette becomes Guardian Zatara helps her navigate how to deal with her new responsibilities. A few weeks later when she shows up hand in hand with a blonde boy, he recognizes him immediately. After a quick shovel talk Adrien is practically adopted into the family. His and Marinette's relationship blossomed beautifully. 

Zatara has Marinette transferred out of her current class and Adrien follows her. The two are barely separate from each other, but when they are their former classmates take advantage of it. Marinette is constantly watching her back when she is alone. Especially when Bustier's class fails to make all their fundraising goals, Marinette can feel them glaring at her.

The class takes turns finding ways to bully Marinette. Alya posts embarrassing pictures of her, Rose tells everyone stories of her trying to get Adrien's attention calling her terrible names. Alix and Nathaniel kick her out of the Art Club. Kim and Alix push her around in the halls and so on. With Lila acting as the innocent bystander.

The class becomes more and more toxic towards themselves and others. This results in the entire school avoiding them, they however blame Marinette for everything. Even though she hasn't thought of them except for when they're bullying her.

Marinette is pissed when Bunnyx comes back from the future and takes the Bunny Miraculous from her. She immediately gives it to her younger self. Now Ladybug and Chat Noir have to work around an untrained liability.

When Marinette is 18 Zatanna is 11.

During their final year Adrien proposes to Marinette after asking Zatara's permission. Marinette agrees to marry him amd the wedding is set for the summer after they graduate.

The wedding never comes. After they graduate they face off with Hawkmoth and Mayura in one final battle. They had defeated Mayura and Chat was about to take Hawkmoth's Miraculous when Bunnyx showed up. She uses Burrow and endes up knocking Chat into an unknown part of time. Everything is silent as Ladybug stares at the space her partner had been in waiting for him to show up. When no one arrives a heartbreaking scream tears through her. All of Paris watches their last hero break down crying, with a burst of rage she defeats Hawkmoth unmasking him. Then charges Bunnyx using her magic to take her down.

Kcol reh ni ecalp htiw ton a elgnis hctiwt!!

Lock her in place with not a single twitch!!

Bunnyx is frozen as Ladybug rips her Miraculous away de-transforming her. She glares at her through her tears, before telling her that she was never meant to be a hero.

Ladybug then leaves with all the Miraculous except for Plagg.

Marinette de-transforms in her room, tears falling as she stares despondently at the ground. Before she utters a simple incantation releasing Alix from where she was frozen.

Cogam sesaeler eht eno I evah dnuob.

Magic releases the one I have bound.

Marinette remains there only moving when Zatanna comes in and sits on her lap. Marinette sniffles hugging her tightly, crying while Zatanna comforts her, crying softly as well.

The next day they are visited by an elderly old man with a kind smile. He introduces himself as Alfred Pennyworth. A mischievous smile crosses his face as he makes eye contact with Marinette.

Alfred-I didn't always go by that though. The love of my life used to call me kitty.

Marinette-Adrien?

Alfred simply smiled sadly nodding before telling her that she cannot go get him.

Alfred- I was sent back so long ago. When you never came I began to make a life for myself. I joined MI-16 and was adopted into a family. Became a butler and was loyal to the Wayne family. I had a son in all but blood, his name is Bruce. It's funny Bugaboo, he has the same black hair and blue eyes as you. Some nights I would pretend that he was our child. Marinette I love you but my life as Alfred Pennyworth cannot be removed from history. This is why I am asking you to move on, find love again.

Marinette sobs softly into his shoulder telling him that she'll do her best. Alfred smiles before pulling out a familiar ring placing it in her hand. Before telling Plagg that he better keep his Princess safe. Marinette giggles softly kissing him on his cheek.

Marinette- Keep in touch please Adrien, I can't live without you at least in my life.

Alfred nods kissing Marinette's hands gently before bidding all three of them goodbye.

Marinette continues on with her life but she doesn't fall in love again. She knows in her heart thay the only one for her was Adrien. Marinette becomes a famous fashion designer by day and Mari by night. She begins training Zatanna along with Zatara. Helping stop bag guys with  simple spells. When Zatanna is 15 she encourages Zatara to let her hang out with the Young Justice team and be a part of it. She happily spies through a seeing glass to see their first meeting. Marinette giggles when her cousin takes an instant liking to the young boy wonder. She smiles softly at the picture of the boy knowing that he was Alfred's honorary grandson.

A few weeks later Marinette is working to reunite the dimensions. When they make it back she is heartbroken to see her cousin with the Helmet of Fate. Zatara immediately tries to convince him to take him instead but Marinette stops him.

Marinette- Release my cousin and take me instead Nabu.

Nabu-No, you barely show any signs of magic.

Marinette huffs before chanting a reversal incantation on the spell she put in place all those years ago. Her aura fills the area allowing everyone to feel her magic.

Marinette-If you release her you can have me. I just need to do a few things first.

Nabu- Very well.

He released Zatanna, Zatara is quick to hug her before turning to Marinette angry demanding to know why she did that with tears in his eyes. Marinette smiled softly before kissing his cheeks softly then kissing Zatanna's. She summons a pen and paper with an envelope writing out a letter to Alfred. She sealed the envelope before turning to Robin.

Marinette- Please deliver this to Agent A for me little birdie. Tell him Ladybug said it was important.

She pats his head gently before smiling softly at Batman.

Marinette- He thinks of you as his son, but he'll never admit it because he doesn't want to take your father's place. Trust me though, a child can have more than one father. 

She said glancing down at Robin when she said it. She turned away from them looking down at her cousin once again.

Marinette- Zatanna, my dearest cousin. I will be departing soon and with that I need to name the next Guardian. Will you uphold and protect the Kwami to the best of your ability?

As she is speaking, Marinette holds out her hands the Miraculous box and Gilmore appears in them. Zatanna chokes back a sob before nodding.

Zatanna- Ib accept.

Marinette passed her the box smiling gently as Tikki flew out of her coat pocket.

Marinette- This is goodbye Tikki, we made a good team didn't we?

Tikki- We were the best Marinette. 

Tikki and Marinette smile gently, a few tears slipping past as Tikki kissed Marinette's forehead gently.

Marinette- Zatanna, I hear by name you the new holder of the Ladybug Miraculous. Treat her well and she shall bring you everlasting luck.

Marinette unclips her earring, clipping them into Zatanna's ears gently.

Marinette-You will make a fine Ladybug.

Zatanna- I'll be nothing like you.

Marinette- No, you'll be better.

She kissed her forehead gently before turning to Zatara as he pulled her into a tight hug. She sniffled softly hugging back just as tightly. She released him, pushing herself away and closer to Nabu.

Marinette- Please dont blame yourselves. I made this decision not you. Goodbye, I love you.

Marinette turned allowing the helmet to close around her, becoming Doctor Fate.

Upon returning to the Watchtower, Alfred arrived wearing a mask of his own before walking over to his two charges. Robin held the letter out to him shifting nervously.

Robin- Ladybug said it was important.

Alfred's eyes widen as he takes the letter opening it.

Adrien, I'm sorry but I was never able to move on from you. You were and always will by my true love. I'm afraid this is my goodbye, please don't do anything stupid love. You're not as young as you were when we were together. You've raised a good son, I wish I could have been by you the entire time. I love you Adrien. -Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Alfred turned to Zatanna and Zatara as a tear fell. They nodded solemnly soon more tears joined them as he stood there silently. A few moments went by before Alfred dabbed his face gently singing quietly to himself.

Alfred- Miraculous, simply the best, up to the test when things go wrong, Miraculous the luckiest….Im Chat Noir. At night I rule, my ring is charged with energy, my claws are out just watch and see.

Alfred's shoulders shook as he thought of all their time together. He took a deep breath before turning back to Zatanna. 

Alfred- In every letter she wrote she was always so proud of you. She always told me that you were going to be great one day, even better than her. My princess will always be proud of you, take it from your almost cousin.

Zatanna sniffled before snorting and hugging Alfred.

Zatanna-God you got so old and sappy Adrien.

Alfred-Its Alfred now and that's what happens when you get thrown back in time and aged.

He turned to Batman and Robin with a sad smile on his face.

Alfred-I think it's time you both hear of my life before MI-16.

@blackmagicforever

@chocolateherringtacofan

@mythogaychic

[jadedxrealityw]

-Halloween- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

Summary: It’s Halloween time, which means the Weasley twins are up to no good. They play a prank on Y/N that goes to far.

Warning: panic attacks, cursing, soft Draco, mature themes

House: Slytherin 

      ♡~🐍~♡

     Halloween, one of Y/N’s favorite holiday’s. She loved everything about Halloween. Down to trick or treating and carving pumpkins. She used to love to spend time with her parents on Halloween, but after they died while fighting Death-Eaters in her home. The holiday was never the same, but she still enjoyed it nonetheless.

     The twins had left her a note on her dorm room door. How they got into the Slytherin dorms was beyond her, but the Weasley twins always found a way when it came to there pranks. The note read “Princess, we have something to tell you in the room of requirement, come after breakfast” she stared at it for a couple seconds before shrugging.

     The twins were her best friends so she figured what ever they needed had to be important. With it being a free day at Hogwarts she wore Draco’s green jumper. It had his name on the back and she loved to wear it and he loved to see her in it. with it always being cold in Hogwarts she wore black leggings to keep her warm. She headed out the common room and to the great hall.

     When Y/N got there her eyes wandered until they landed on her Boyfriend. She walked slowly until she made her way behind him, covering his eyes with the palms of her hands. She leaned down “Guess who?” she whispers in his ear with a giggle. Draco smirked lightly as he put his hands over her’s “Hmm let me see? Parkinson?” he teased making Y/N huff and go to pull her hands away, but Draco gripped them and pulled her to sit down next to him.

     “Awe love, i'm only joking” He fake pouts at her angered expression. Y/N puffed her cheeks out in annoyance before a evil iea popped in her mind “When i did it to Harry he knew it was me” Draco’s eyebrow raised slightly and his hands let go of her hands and gripped her waist “You did what?” he seethed. Yes, jealous Draco. “Awe love, I’m only joking” she mocked his voice. He glared at her before dipping his head into her neck “You know better then to tease me, love” he muttered against her skin.

     Draco suddenly bit her neck, Y/N gasped and covered her mouth with her hand careful not to drawn attention to them. “Draco, n-not here” she whimpered as he gave her waist a light squeeze “You know i don't like when you mention saint Potter” he bit her neck again giving her the same reaction as the first time. Removing her hand from her mouth “You know i don't like when you mention Pansy” she retorts. He smiled slightly before moving his head to look at her “Fine, im sorry” he says and leans into capture her lips with his i a sweet kiss.

     Y/N smiles like an idiot as he pulls away, “Apology excepted, i won't talk about Harry again” Draco smiles and he lets go of her. She moves her body to lean against his and they began to eat breakfast.

      ♡~🐍~♡

     As breakfast ended Y/N sat up straight and stretched her arms. Draco stood up from his seat and held out his hand for his girlfriend, which she happily took and stood up as well “So, wanna head to my dorm so i can give you more then those two bites” he says in a low tone, his hand pushing the hair from my neck to gaze upon his work of art. Y/N’s face heated up at his words and playfully hit his chest “I have to meet up with the twins first for something” she shrugs.

     Draco frowned as he wrapped his arms around her torso “But you’ve been so busy lately. I want Y/N time too” he whines like a five year old who has been denied his favorite toy. His actions make Y/N giggle a bit “It’ll only be a minute then im all yours for the rest of the day” Draco perked up at the words and grinned happily “10 minutes okay?” he says and Y/N nods “10 minutes” she repeats. She gives him a short kiss and pulls away from his grasp.

    Y/N waves to him before she leaves the great hall, leaving a lovestruck Draco behind to smile stupidly before heading to his dorm to wait for his lovely Slytherin girlfriend.

      ♡~🐍~♡

     Y/N pushed opened the doors to the room of requirement to see no one there. She’s very confused but walks in just in case they were just behind something and that's the reason she couldn't see them. “George?” she calls out, but no one answered. “Fred?” no answer as well. She sighs. Those idiots forgot about there meeting that quick. Y/N would definitely would deal with them later, but a very handsome boy was waiting for her back at the dorms.

     Just as Y/N was about to turn around towards the door it shuts with a loud sound. She jumps slightly and looks around frantically “Guys, you better not be messing with me!” she snaps. The lights started to flicker making her shudder and think back to that night when Death-Eaters came to her home. Suddenly the lights were out. Leaving her in the pitch black. Her breathing sped up and she instinctively backed up until she hit something hard. 

     Thinking it was a wall Y/N sighed, until it grabbed at her making her yelp and push away. Loud sounds cam from everywhere. Crashing and shouting, taking her to the darkest corners of her mind. she fell to her knees and held her hands over her ears. Trying to drown out the noise. Her heartbeat was going extremely fast and her breathing was erratic. “George i dont think this is funny anymore” a voice came from the darkness “Turn the lights back on Fred” 

     The lights were switched back on and the twins were seen holdinmetallicic objects that they used to bang together and create the loud noise. Y/N was rocking back and forth in her place making the Weasleys worried. “Princess?” George crouched beside her and touched her shoulder. She screamed and backed away, shutting her eyes “It’s just us!” Fred exclaimed.

     Y/N was to far into her mind to process that she was safe and no one was going to hurt her, George was now extremely panicked and looked at his brother “Get Malfoy maybe he’ll know what to do?!” he suggested. Fred nodded hastily and ran out the room. George turned back to Y/N and frowned

      ♡~🐍~♡

     Fred ran up the stairs, doing his best not to fall, he saw a couple of Slytherins outside the common room door. He made his way to them out of breath “What do you want Weasley?” Pansy sneered, crossing her arms “I...need....Malfoy......Y/N” he sabetweenent pants for air “What?” Pansy laughed, making the two other Slytherins laugh with her. 

     “Your not bullying Gryffindors again are you Pansy?” A voice came from the stairs. Blaise Zabini. He looked at the Weasley and nodded towards him “Why do you need to see Malfoy?” he asked. He knew Y/N was friends with them so he wanted to be somewhat respectful. “We played a prank on Y/N, but she’s freaking out and we need Malfoy to calm her down!” “You what?!” Exclaimed a blond Slytherin who had just walked out the common room.

     “Were so sorry we didnt!-” “I dont care for your shitty excuses, take me to my girlfriend now, Weasley!” Draco snapped with an angered expression. Fred nodded slowly before they both ran down the stairs. Leaving the shocked Slytherins behind them “He really loves her” Blaise chuckled with a smirk.

      ♡~🐍~♡

     Fred pushed the door open and Draco rushed in quickly, he saw his girlfriend against a wall with her hands in her face. Her loud sobs and rough breathing made his heart tug violently. George spotted them and walked over quickly. “Don't be loud, it’ll only freak her out more” he said in a hushed tone. Draco growled and pulled his wand out, pointing it at the both of them. They raised their hands quickly “What. Did. You. Do?” he hissed, venom lacing his voice.

     “We brought her here with a note and let her walk in, when she went to leave we shut the door, turned out the lights, made loud noises and grabbed at her. It was supposed to be funny but she started freaking out so we stopped” George explained quickly. Fred nodded in agreement. Draco glared at them before pointing to the door with his wand “Out now” the twins nodded and left in a rush.

     When Y/N and Draco started to get serious she told him of the story on how her parents died. Every detail. He knew what triggered you, he knew why you were so upset now. His first thought was that he wished he talked you out of coming, but how could he have known. He pocketed his wand before crouching down next to you.

     Draco reached out and grabbed your hand, your body started to shake and you pushed away “Love, open your eyes it’s me. Draco your boyfriend” he said, but you weren’t listening. Despite your flailing body he wrapped his arms around you “Y/N just listen to my voice” Y/N could smell his cologne and the scent of green apples suddenly. It made her feel safe, and at peace. Her breathing started to slow down as Draco whispered reassuring words into her ear.

     Y/N pulled her head away from his chest to look at his face. He looked worried and was that a tear? “Draco?” she whispered. He looked at her and smiled “There you are” he said sweetly. She reached up and wiped the tear from his face “Why are you crying?” she asked, her voice rough from sobbing. “You have no idea how much pain it brings me when you are like that” he whispered, his voice cracking.

     “I may never be able to know what goes on in your head, but i will always be here to pick you up when you fall, my love” Y/N smiles at his words as she grabs his face. She moves her body to wrap her legs around his torso “Thank you so much Draco” she leans her forehead against his. He smiles and put one hand on the small of her back to push her body flush against his while the other cupped her face.

     “Like i said, always” Draco’s hand slithered from her face to the nape of her neck to pull her into a deep kiss. She responds instantly and kisses back with the same amount of love he does. They pull away out of breath making him grin “Want to take this to my dorm finally?” he says, his head dipping into her neck to bite at the sensitive skin. Y/N whimpers softly and smiles “Yeah”

     A/N: Kinda spicy, but not a smut. I could write smut if you guys want. My requests are open for anyone that wants to ♡

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[honeypirate]

Denki x reader pro hero au

Warning - angst!, talks about smoking weed just barely, reader gets bit by a villain and gets very badly poisoned that as it eats through their body takes them on fever dreams. Denki beats the villain before he finds reader I just didn’t know how to write it lolol

The stars danced in the sky, floating around like they were little fairy sprites dancing and spreading their magic across the world. The moon was bright, lighting up the few clouds around her in the sky, you could have sworn the clouds were neon colors, reflecting like the northern lights but that was impossible.. you blamed the villains quirk, a poison that was currently flooding your body through the bite wound to your thigh.

The thought of magic had your thoughts running off towards the way Denki’s eyes would shine when he would see you, little electric sparks running through the tips of his hair in excitement before he would sweep you up into a hug. If anyone was magic in this world it was him, you should have told him that.

The yellow electricity sparking through the air went well with the glowing hallucinations in the sky and until your eyes found his face you thought it was part of the vision.

His eyes are worried, his lips moving but you hear nothing, just the sounds of cicadas in the trees which was impossible since you were in the inner city. You find the energy to reach for him and he takes your hand quickly, you think you hear him say your name but you aren’t quite sure with the little fairy sprites that start to fall from his lips.

Your thoughts are hard to control, it’s hard to focus when the poison slowly takes over all of your senses. You’re dragged from one scenario to the next, remembering and watching different events in your life play out again like a movie. You weren’t sure if you were alive or dead, if you were awake or asleep, and where was Denki?

It all feels so real, if it wasnt for the pressure against your palm of him holding your hand that grounded you as the visions took over.

Youre 7 and your quirk has manifested, a strong combination of your parents quirks, flight from your mother and strong ghost like tentacles from your father that you could pull from your body like extra limbs. Your parents found you hanging upside down in your room with a tentacle holding a different toy as you giggled.

The world was always magical to you, you felt like you never could get enough of it, always fascinated by every tree and rock, it was so beautiful to you. Everything was a gift and the world had so much to offer, every time you left the house you found more reasons to believe in magic. A butterfly landing on your head, a cat that hates everyone but loves to rub against your legs, singing with the wind and having it wrap around you like it was a friend. All of these amazing things that most would look over made your world so much more magical.

The colors of your vision change and turn into the entrance exam for UA, the first day you met Kaminari. He had watched as your back was to the fight, your eyes watching the clouds as you smiled, using your tentacles to fight for you as you floated fifty feet above ground. You were so dazling that Kaminari was almost toast but your tentacle saved him and when he looked back up to you, your eyes were on him and you were smiling so bright he had to know you.

The vision changed to Kaminari stuttering through his words trying to talk to you and thank you for your help, he was so adorable you couldn’t help but hug him with a laugh “of course we should be friends!” you had said and he felt his brain go liquidy.

You’re 22 on your apartment balcony, smoking a joint he brought over after a hard day. You both needed it. That was the first time you held his hand, the first time you cuddled on your couch both needing the comfort.

This is when the colors start to make little sense to you. They swirl into darker muted versions of northern lights and then you’re sitting at a table in a living room that you don’t recognize but feel like you know it. A man is sitting across from you and smiling so softly your heart melts. Denki? It feels like him but it doesn’t look like him.

Another man smiling at you except now you’re on a walk beside a river you’ve never seen before, the setting sun coloring the sky with the colors of your vision as the man takes your hand. He’s dressed in clothes you’ve only ever seen in history movies and he’s cupping your cheek and telling you how much he loves you. You know this is Denki too.

Your mind feels like its spinning as the world flashes with bright colors and lights, in the real world Kaminari is screaming for someone, anyone to help! To get the paramedics to you! Anyone with a healing quirk! His hands cupped your cheeks and saw your usually (color) eyes swirling with sparkles of blue yellow and red, he was losing it. His best friend was taken down in the battle and he wasnt there to protect them how can he be called a pro hero when he cant do anything to save you.

The amount of visions you have of different versions of you and Denki seem never ending until it goes back to the one you know. Flour raining down over you both when he added it to the stand mixer as it went full speed and you remember at the time thinking how cute he looked a little messy.

Oh yes, the world was magic. Your world has always been filled with magic and you didn't doubt that it always would be. Oh what a world you were lucky to live in, oh what a man you were lucky to love, a man who’s memories are starting to fade from your mind. Breathing started to become a chore as the colors stopped their swirling, landing on a soft pale yellow and staying there as you walk forward through the vision, jogging, running, sprinting, you had to get back to him. Who was he? The man with the blond hair and kind eyes? Why did you need to reach him again? Everything was fading as the pale yellow seemed to sink into you and take you over, why were you so worried again? You closed your eyes and sighed, letting yourself disolve into the warmth of colors.

“Please” your eyes fluttered open in the vision to darkness as the soft word echoes around in your head, who was speaking? “please y/n” the voice cracks and you feel warm wetness land on your hand, the one you can feel again, a weight and warmth to it as the voice holds it. “y/n stay with me” it calls out and your eyes flutter open to the real world, the world that was your own. “Den?” you ask and a sob falls from his lips “y/n” he says and you reach up to cup his cheek, brushing away his tears “i dont feel so good Den, i think that guy bit me” your voice was soft, head still swimming “it’s going to be okay” he says “its going to be okay, i can see help coming they’re just having a hard time with the destruction. Stay with me okay? You have to”

Your arm starts to shake but before it can fall hes holding your hand to his cheek “Den, this world is full of magic” your voice cracks and your breathing is starting to hurt “dont ever forget about the magic. Promise me” he furrows his brows and a sob chokes through “dont-” he starts but your eyes were so dim he couldn't help but crying out an “i promise”

“My world Den, it was magic. But it was never as bright until i found you” tears flow from your eyes into your hairline filled with the colorful remanence of the poison “my sparky boy” you whisper and a smile barely tugs the corner of your lips as the poison mixes with your memories, muddling what you really wanted to say but you were unable to stop the worlds as the fell from your lips “we will always find each other, we have loved each other in lives before and lives to come, you are mine and i am yours” your eyes flutter closed as they begin to roll up in your head, he cries for you to hang on the sounds of help just down one more block, your eyes flutter open and he can tell how hard youre fighting to be here for as long as possible as you squeeze his hand as tight as possible “Denki, I love you” your hand relaxes and as your eyes close and your hands go limp in his, he feels the magic drain from his world.

[yikesharringrove]

I both really want to read a conversion camp fic and really fucking DONT lol but I trust you to do it well and not absolutely destroy us so... I am asking for you to write the conversion camp fic please.

Oh, my plan is to absolutely destroy you all with this one.

This is modern bc it wasn’t gonna be but then I wrote a part and it kinda had to be lol

TW: religion, homophobia, transphobia (nd Steve), conversion camp, anxiety, depression, physical abuse, the word r*pe is thrown around, suicidal ideations, basically, it’s a DOOZY

Seriously, this shit gets DARK. I have A LOT of untapped emotions.

But it has a happy ending, don’t worry

-

Steve’s hands were shaking as they dug through his bag.

They had already pulled out the eyeshadow palette he had tried to sneak in, needed something to make himself feel okay in this inevitable Hell.

“Did you receive our guidelines?” They had found the lipstick he had shoved in one of his shoes. “We specifically outlined prohibited items.” He took a shaky breath. “Your perversion is much deeper than anticipated, Mr. Harrington.” He just nodded.

He was shuffled about, led to a cold blank room.

His first meeting with a conversion specialist.

“What is your infatuation with women’s things?” The man’s voice made Steve feel like there was cold water dripping down his back.

“I just like pretty things.”

“Why do you deny your manhood?”

“I don’t.”

“You say that, but you do. Every time you pretend you’re a woman-”

“I don’t pretend I’m a woman. I just like makeup and stuff.” He gave Steve a disgusted look.

“By denying your true self, you have turned your back on God. You have allowed the devil to infiltrate your soul, to convince you that these perversions are okay.” He looked down at the paper in his lap, the forms Steve had been forced to sit and fill out with his parents. “You were not close with your father, were you?”

“Um, no. Not really.”

“So you pushed away your male role model?”

“He pushed me away, more like.” The man pursed his lips.

“A father does not push away his son unless there is something evil within him. A father can always tell when there is something wrong, something disgusting in his offspring.” He stood up, towering over Steve.

“You are disgusting, Steven Harrington. You are perverse and foul. You turn your back on your Creator. But you are not without a savior. You can be saved. Denounce the devil that tempts you to this life. Follow your savior, and He will lead you to safety.” He held out his hand. Steve took a breath, and shook it.

-

Steve’s first day was a fucking nightmare.

He was led to his room, a small room with two bunked beds and no doors. He was told he’d have three roommates, and if they were caught touching one another, the punishment would be painful.

And then it was group therapy.

He sat in a circle with ten of the other boys from the program. They were forced to discuss every attraction they had ever felt to anyone besides women. They were forced to discuss sexual encounters they had had with men, and call themselves disgusting.

And as it was Steve’s turn, and he talked about wearing panties, and fingering himself, and sucking Tommy’s dick, and he felt disgusting.

At dinner he met one of his roommates, and his heart sank.

“Where’d they scrape you up?” The guy was fucking gorgeous.

“Indiana.”

“And you just a homo? Or...?” The guy’s voice trailed off as he looked Steve up and down. “You one a’ them crossdressers, too?” Steve flushed deeply.

“How, how did you know?”

“Because you look like they got to you already. Means they got something on you. Make you feel real bad about yourself.”

“How, how long have you been here?”

“Long enough. Seen plenty a’ boys come and go. Some cured, some just a lost cause.” He was so nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Why, why so long?” He grinned at Steve, sharp and beautiful.

“Because I’m immune, Pretty Boy.” Steve’s breath hitched. The guy licked over his teeth. “Can’t beat the gay outta me if they tried. And they fuckin’ have.”

“But why, why don’t you want to change? I mean, they’re, they’re right.” His blue eyes went cold.

“They got you deep. Damn, you might be the quickest turn around I’ve ever seen.”

“I just, I don’t want to be wrong anymore.” He leaned closer to Steve.

“You have never been wrong.” Steve felt like he was gonna cry.

A firm hand clapped down on Steve’s shoulder.

“William, I hope you’re treating our new guest nicely.” William’s face fell immediately.

“Yes, Father.” Steve looked up to see a priest holding onto him. His hair was greying and neat. His eyes were cold and dead.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Steven with me.” Steve followed him, eyes downcast, all the way to his office. “Steven, my name is Father Andrew. I’m here to help you.” Steve didn’t like his smile. “We’re going to meet everyday at 8:30 pm for your therapy.”

He pulled out a folder from the bottom drawer of his desk. He placed a photograph in front of Steve with a flourish.

It was porn.

It was fucking gay porn.

He stood in front of Steve, leaning against the desk, off to the side of the image.

“Tell me what you see here.” One of the men had dark hair. He was being taken from behind by the other man, his blond hair and bright eyes stirred something in Steve.

“Two men. Having sex.”

He didn’t see Father Andrew’s hand, just heard the crack of it against his cheek.

His eyes watered, his cheek burned.

“What do you see?”

“Two perverts.”

“What are they doing?”

“Defiling one another.”

“Good, Steven. You’re learning.”

He placed another photograph down. This time, the man being fucked had a full face of makeup, tears making the dark eyeliner run as he was on his back, hands cuffed to the bed. The man fucking him was smirking at the camera, tongue between his teeth.

“How does this make you feel?”

“Disgusted.”

“Why?”

“That they, they would touch each other like that.”

“Do you have fantasies like this? Of being tied up by another man? Raped by another man?”

And the answer, the answer was technically yes. He had plenty of fantasies of being tied up, taken rough, taken dirty.

But rape. That’s a strong fucking word.

“No, Father.” Another crack. Another slap.

“Lying is a sin, Steven.”

“I, I don’t want to be, to be raped.” Another slap.

“Lying is a sin, Steven.”

“Yes, yes Father. I have had fantasies.”

“These are not fantasies, these are perversions planted in your mind by demons, by the devil trying to pull you away from Christ our Lord. Do not let these demons lead you astray.”

He pulled out another picture.

Steve’s heart fucking stopped.

It was a picture of himself. A nude he had taken for Tommy.

He was wearing pretty lingerie, pouting to the camera. He remembers taking it, remembers putting on his makeup, posing over and over until he took one he liked. They must’ve gone through his phone, through his texts.

“Why do you dress like a woman?”

“Be-because I’m disgusting.” And the thing is, Steve had been told plenty of times that day that he’s disgusting, and he had begun to believe it.

“Good, Steven. You are disgusting. Do you believe you’re a woman?”

“No, Father.”

“Then why have you been experimenting with women’s things?”

“I believed I wasn’t a man.”

“And are you a man?”

“Yes, Father.”

“God made you a man.”

“Yes, Father.” Steve still didn’t like his smile.

He switched the image.

And it was another one of his nudes. This time he was in a skirt, kneeling with his back to the mirror, one hand spreading his cheeks, showing off the silver plug in his ass.

He even remembers the text he had sent with it.

Tommy had been studying for a test, so Steve sent that picture and said but im lonely :( and Tommy had replied I’ll be there in twenty.

“Why do you have an obsession with your anus?” Steve could feel the blood drain from his face.

“I, uh, it feels good.” Another slap.

“How does spitting in the face of your Heavenly Father feel good, Steven? Sodomy does not feel good.” Another slap. Steve’s face felt like it was on fire.

“I’m sorry, Father. I am vile, and disgusting.” Steve was sobbing, felt so fucking pathetic, trying to look anywhere but the printed image of himself.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. I expect you here tomorrow after dinner.”

Steve fucking ran back to his room.

The other boys were asleep. He climbed into the top bunk, curling into himself.

He felt disgusting, he felt foul and wrong and bad.

He tried to stifle his sobs into his pillow, the scratchy case muffling his panic attack.

“Hey, Stevie.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet.” There was a sigh, breath fanning over his face.

And then the boy from earlier was swinging himself into bed with him, curling against him.

“They said-”

“I know exactly what times they patrol. I’ll leave your bed before then.” He sighed. “First night’s always the hardest. You just gotta get through. Tell them what they wanna hear, but remember that they’re fucking wrong. You are valid, and real. Being gay is not disgusting.”

Steve curled into him, letting himself be comforted.

“Thank you. Thank you, William.”

“Oh, Christ. Call me Billy.”

“Thank you, Billy.”

-

As time passed, it was easy to retreat into himself.

He met with Father Andrew every night, got slapped and hit when his answers weren’t condemning enough.

But each night, Billy would crawl into bed with him, would hold him when he broke down.

The kiss was inevitable.

It happened after Steve had an extreme day, the beating he received when he had admitted to being nonbinary, that he had asked his friends at home to use other pronouns.

And Billy had said you’re perfect the way you are, Sweet Thing.

And Steve kissed him.

And Steve wanted to die.

-

“Forgive me, Father. For I have sinned.” Steve took a shaking breath.

He was kneeling in the small confessional.

They had Mass every three days, and confession each Friday.

“It has been one week since my last confession.” He took a deep breath. He needed to get this of his chest, needed to get the punishment he deserved. “Father, I, the feelings have not gone away. There is, there’s a boy, and I, I love him. And I try not to. I try not to look at him, to remember the devil is leading me astray. But Father, I think about him. I think about him often.”

“This is an extremely grievous sin, my son.”

“I know, Father. Please help me. I want to, I want to be pure. To be free of this sin, this temptation.”

“I offer, as penance for your sins, to pray a rosary for each time you have had an evil thought about your fellow man this week. As you ponder the Mysteries of the rosary, consider how God created you, how Jesus died for you, and you wipe your feet on their love.”

“Yes, Father.”

“And our meeting will be arduous tonight, Steven.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Now please, recite the Act of Contrition.”

Steve’s hands shook as he recited the prayer, finishing his confession with Father Andrew.

-

“Now, Steven. You discussed having impure thoughts today.”

Steve’s knees ached from praying the rosary so many times earlier today. He hadn’t eaten, had gone straight to the Chapel after his confession.

He wanted to pray, to cleanse himself.

And he didn’t want to risk seeing Billy.

“Yes, Father.”

“And you mentioned that you love another boy.”

“The devil is trying to make me think it’s love.” Father Andrew smiled his empty smile down at Steve.

“That’s right Steven. Because love cannot exist between two men. Love is a beautiful thing created and given to us by The Lord God.” Father Andrew leaned over Steve, made him shrink back in his seat. “Which is why you are unlovable as you are. You are foul and vile. You may be loved if you change.”

He grabbed Steve’s hair, holding his head still as he slapped his face.

And Steve let him.

He was foul, he was vile.

He deserved the pain.

-

Two months.

That’s how long it took Steve to “graduate”.

He left the facility in clean khakis, a nice sweater his mother had sent him to wear home.

Billy had left a week and a half prior.

He was deemed a lost cause.

Steve’s mother was there to pick him up, hugged him tight and told him how happy she was that he was fixed.

He was quiet as they drove, watching the shadows the summer sun cast on the side of the plain flat road.

“Your father will be pleased. You’ve made such wonderful progress. Free of all those delusions.”

They passed Tommy’s house.

He felt sick.

-

The first thing Steve did when he got home was destroy all his make up.

He took everything feminine from it’s hiding spot in the back of his closet.

He scraped out the eye shadow, smeared the lipstick all over his dresses.

He cut up his lingerie, shoved everything into a black garbage back, driving into town to toss it in the dumpster behind the gas station.

He wanted it away, he wanted it gone. He wanted to be pure.

-

His hands shook as he zipped up the suitcase.

He didn’t have much in there, was planning on taking enough to get him through a little while, then maybe buying some things, some pretty things.

His parents were asleep downstairs, he was planning on being long gone by the time they woke up.

He put on his backpack, taking his wallet and tiptoeing down the stairs, his shoes in his hand.

He had a plan, would drive to the bus station, leave his car there.

Someone will find it, and at that point, he’ll be long gone.

He bought a bus ticket to Chicago, paid in cash and gave a fake name.

He was fucking out of here.

They were fucking out of here.

-

“As I live, and fucking breathe.”

Steve startled as a hand came down on their shoulder.

They startled again when they turned around, came face to face with a ghost from the past.

“B-Billy?” Billy’s hair was longer than it had been at the camp. His smile was lazier, his eyes brighter. Steve’s gut gave an excited little flutter as he looked them up and down.

“You look fuckin’ gorgeous, Pretty Boy.” Steve flushed, adjusting their dress. It was new.

It had been three years since the camp. One year of Steve living in pain, until they packed their shit, and moved to the Golden Coast. They left in the middle of the fucking night, ran away like a scared child, never looking back.

And here was the love of their goddamn life, in some hole in the wall coffee shop in San Fransisco.

“It’s uh, it’s not Pretty Boy, anymore.” Billy’s grin got even wider.

“Thank fuck.” He swung himself into the seat across from Steve’s, upsetting some of the papers they were working on.

“What happened to you, Billy?” Billy’s smiled slipped, just a little.

“My dad was tired a’ paying for that joint if I wasn’t getting better. So he said if I wasn’t fixed in like, a month, he would stop paying, and I would be kicked out. Stayed true to his word. Haven’t seen the bastard since.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Getting kicked outta that place is the best fuckin’ thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I graduated. Went through the whole thing. Took me a year to realize how fucked up it was.”

“Jesus. They got you deep.” Steve shrugged.

“I’m okay now.”

“Yeah? What’re you doin’?”

“Goin’ to school. Gonna be a counselor. Hopefully work in an elementary school, or something.” Billy’s eyes were bright.

“That’s amazing. Gonna tell all the little queer kids that they’re valid and all that?”

“That’s the goal.” Billy grinned. “What are you doing now? You with anyone?”

“I own a bar, actually. Kind of a dive, but it’s a good time.” He looked at Steve through his lashes. “You should come by, sometime. Be good to see you.”

“I’d like to see you too.”

“And to answer your question, I’m not with anyone. Not right now.” He smirked. “But I could be.” He leaned over the table, drawing one finger down Steve’s hand. “I like seeing you happy. Feel like I only ever saw you cryin’ in that joint.”

“Well, spent a lot of time crying there.”

“For good reason.” Billy took their hand. “It’s really good to see you.”

“Y’know I told Father Andrew I was in love with you. Got beat black and fuckin’ blue for it.” Billy’s face was grave.

“Why’d you do that?”

“Wanted to be fixed. Took me a year to realize I didn’t need that.”

“You stop lovin’ me in that year?”

“Not even in the two after that.” Billy took a shaking breath.

“You know, I uh, I love you too. Always did. It broke my fucking heart to leave you in that place. Was gonna wake you up that night, get you to run away with me. But they took me out, uh, forcibly.”

“Bet you put up a real good fight.”

“Broke Father Ryan’s nose.” Steve let out a burst of laughter, clapping one hand over their mouth.

“I was wondering about that. He had a splint for like, a month.”

“Yeah, well, bastard kept tryin’ to exorcise me. Headbutted him right in the face.”

“Good for you, Bill. Sometimes I wish I could light the whole place on fire.”

“Me too.” Billy took their hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I gotta head, but I wanna see you. Soon. Later today, if you can.”

“Yeah, uh, I’m just doing some homework, but I could stop by the bar tonight? I don’t have shit to do tomorrow.”

“Lemme pick you up. We can go to dinner before I take you to the bar.” They smiled softly at him.

“I’d like that.”

[stanbillyhargrove]

Demons - The Rewrite

Chapter 16: Please Don't Make Me Beg You To Stay

Tw: eating disorders, purging, drugs

Steve’s POV

The party raged around me, bodies moving all around me and music pounding so loud I could feel it in my chest, replacing the beat of my heart. Nancy has been acting weird lately, distant and cold, and she’d decided not to come to this party, leaving me to drink with my friends. We were having a pretty good time, getting drunk and joking around for a while.

But it didn't feel right.

I wandered away to the makeshift bar near the kitchen. I was mixing myself a drink when a girl walked up behind me and ran a hand over my shoulder. I turned around to meet her drunken gaze.

“Hey there, pretty boy,” she slurred.

I tried to turn her down, tell her I had a girlfriend, but the girl just kept babbling.

I tuned out her constant talking when I saw Cat stumble into the other side of the kitchen, holding her head as she slumped against the counter. I didn’t think anything of it when a guy I’d never seen before followed her, just someone she met checking on her I thought. When she slumped to the floor I watched the new guy join a couple other guys, all of them sneering to each other. They were like a pack of wolves, snapping their teeth as they watched their prey fall. A couple people paused to talk to her but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

I knew I should go to her but I didn't, just threw back my drink and turned to find another.

“She’ll be out any second,” a voice behind me sneered.

The pack loomed, staying far enough away from their leader to not startle the prey. Cat was starting to fade against the counter, struggling to keep her eyes open. When he hoisted her over his shoulder and started upstairs with her hanging limp, dread settled heavy in my gut. I quickly scanned for a head of blonde curls but didn’t see Billy anywhere near me.

Cause he hadn't been there.

I tried to walk away from the girl but was grabbed by the arm as she started to cry. I watched them all disappear upstairs and felt my mouth go dry. I desperately hoped for Billy to appear but knew he wouldn’t. It took a while for me to shake off the drunk girl to run up the stairs after them. When I worked up the courage to open the door my blood ran cold, like ice. The leader was on top of Cat, sliding her pants down her thighs. The pack loomed, salivating over their catch.

I announced my presence with a meager, “leave her alone.”

They turned on me, ready to devour me too.

“Hey man, private party,” the leader growled.

“She doesn’t want this, leave her alone,” I tried again.

One of the pack lept forward to shove me, “why don’t you fuck off? You don’t know what she wants.”

I bristled, squaring up to challenge them, “I know that she can’t walk or tell you what she wants when she’s passed out.”

The leader slid off Cat and met my challenge, offered a worse one, “we’ll let you join if you keep your fucking mouth shut.”

I gaped at him, “are you fucking serious? No! Get the hell out of here, you fucking assholes!”

He glared at me and reluctantly backed down.

“Whatever man,” he spat, “you can fucking have her.”

He shouldered past me, his crew all taking a turn to shove me as they followed him out of the room. The interaction left me feeling dirty, like they had left a mark on me that I would spend the next few days scrubbing at. I crossed the room to the bed and grabbed Cat’s shoulders to shake her. She didn’t respond, her entire body was limp in my hands.

Too much to drink, I thought.

I gently wiggled her pants back up her hipbones, over the scars and scabs that littered them. Scooped her up and carried her back downstairs, past the leering pack and out to my car to bring her back to my house to sleep it off.

I woke up with Cat curled into my side. When I looked over at her and saw her sunken, frail frame, I realized that I had been dreaming. Dreaming about what I wished had happened that night instead of what actually happened. A weight settled over me. A weight dragging me down into an endless ocean.

An ocean of should of's and could of's.

Of guilt.

Because it's my fault.

If I hadn’t been so caught up in myself I could have done something, I could have stopped her from being drugged in the first place. I should have tried harder to keep an eye on her. I failed Cat when she needed me most and I was failing her now as she got sicker and sicker.

I dont know what to do anymore, how to help, how to quit being a failure.

--

I woke again later in the morning to Cat rummaging loudly through a box just outside my bedroom door. I could just barely see her, sitting in the doorway pulling on strings of lights.

"Cat?"

She scrambled up, "oh! You’re awake! Did I wake you up? I was trying to be quiet."

"What are you doing?"

She smiled, holding up a string of lights, "I found some lights, I thought we could hang them up over the bed. It'll be cute."

I nodded, slightly confused, "yeah..okay, I can do that..where did you find those?"

"I made breakfast too! Get up so we can go shopping!"

"Shopping?"

"Yeah," she skipped and jumped to sit on the edge of the bed, "remember? For the dance?"

I nodded, sitting up, "right. Yeah, okay."

--

"I've never been in the city," Cat beamed, looking at all the stores lining the street.

I pulled to the side of the road, in front of a little boutique. Large windows boasted racks full of dresses and suits.

"Can we get coffee, Stevie?" Cat asked, pointing at the little Cafe across the street.

"Did you eat anything this morning?"

"Yeah, before you got up."

For a second, I could look at her smiling and let myself believe her.

She was running across the road before I could answer. Didn't look for cars, just dashed out.

"Cat!" I yelled.

"Come on, slow poke!" She yelled back, laughing from the sidewalk.

--

"Young Mr. Harrington," a woman beamed when we walked into the boutique, "how's your father? I haven't seen him in a while."

I smiled tightly, "he's fine, Tam. Busy."

"Good, good," she nodded, coming around the counter, "what can I help you with?"

Cat linked her arm in mine, "looking for a dress. And Steve here needs a new shirt."

"Will this be on your father's account?"

"No, I have money," Cat protested.

"Put it on his account. I need my jacket tailored too," I held up the jacket in my other arm.

Cat spun to me, "Stevie, I can-"

I shook my head, "really, it's okay. He doesn't care. Probably won't even notice. Lead the way, Tam."

Tammy nodded, leading us through the racks. Rows upon rows of billowing tulle and shining sequins. Soft silks and delicate lace.

Cat loaded her arms with as many dresses as she could carry and eagerly followed Tammy to a changing room.

Tammy pulled the curtain closed and came over to me, "another brunette, you certainly have a type."

I scrunched my eyebrows, confused, "huh?"

"I like this one, she's pretty. Much nicer than that last one I saw you with. What was her name again? Nina? Natasha?"

"Nancy," I answered, dryly.

"Nancy! Yeah, she didn't seem like a very nice girl. Not right for you."

I was about to protest when Cat called from the change room, "zip me, please?"

Tammy hurried behind the curtain and Cat walked out a moment later in a bright red dress. Tulle poofing up from her shoulders and layering down the skirt. It engulfed and swallowed Cat like flames.

"What do you think?" Tammy asked, smoothing her hands over the offending fabric.

"It's...something," I murmured, trying to control my expression.

Cat turned and burst out laughed looking at herself in the mirror, "oh no, this is terrible," she clapped a hand over her mouth, "I'm sorry! It's just not good on me!"

Tammy smiled gently, "don't worry, sweetheart. I'm not the designer. Let's try a different one."

An hour later we were on our way home, a new shirt, dress and shoes wrapped in boxes in the backseat.

-- a week later

"You sure you don't want to come pick up my jacket with me?" I asked.

Cat smiled and shook her head, "I'm okay, I'll spend some time with Rocky. Maybe go home for some stuff."

"Okay, I'll be back in a couple hours."

--

I came back to find a quiet house and a half eaten chocolate cake in the kitchen.

"Cat?" I called, tossing my suit jacket over a chair.

A fork with smeared remnants of icing gleamed next to the paper box.

A distant, painful retch perked my ears. I followed it through the house. Through the shadows of my parents unlit room. Following the thin strip of yellow light coming from under their bathroom door.

"Cat?"

Another retch and a sobbed, "fuck!"

I pushed the door open, "are you sick?"

She was kneeling in front of the toilet, one arm bent to brace herself and choking on the middle two fingers of her other hand.

I froze for a moment, "what the?"

"It won't come out," she cried, "it's stuck."

Her fingers were raw and irritated from being pushed down her throat.

"It won't come out, I can feel it."

She was shaking, fingers trembling against pink, slick lips. Tears sprung to my eyes, disappointed, angry and confused. My mouth opened and closed, lost for words. She pushed her fingers forward, gagging when nails scratched the back of her throat.

"Don't," I whispered.

She hesitated, "I can feel it, I need it out. I didn't mean to...I was so good."

Broken eyes met mine. Shameful before they scrunched closed and she dry heaved into the toilet. I shut my eyes tight, turning away from the door and leaving my parents room.

--

I hadn't moved from my spot near the pool. Just sat staring into the crystal blue water. The way it lapped lightly at my ankles. The way the stars reflected on the surface and danced when a stray tear fell.

The patio door slid open and shut behind me. Soft feet padding out onto the stone. I sniffed and wiped my nose with the back of my hand.

"Stevie," she rasped.

A new round of tears burned like acid.

"What the fuck was that?"

"I..I don't..."

I whirled around to face her, splashing water when I hurried to stand. Her eyes hardened when she flinched.

"What the fuck was that!" I yelled, "how could you do that to me! You were fine yesterday, what the hell happened?!"

"N-nothing."

"Nothing?" I scoffed.

"Yeah, nothing," she ground out, chin wavering even with her teeth clenched.

The lying stung almost worse than the truth.

"How can you stand there and lie to me?!"

She looked away, lips tightening.

"It's like you're trying to fuck this up."

Cat stood quiet, swallowing thickly.

"Is that it? You want to be sick? You want to push everyone away so you can pretend nobody cares and try to kill yourself again?"

Her eyebrows twitched, angry. Nostrils flared while she searched for the words to hurt me.

"I don't love you."

I was taken aback. Confused and hurt.

"I don't love you, Steve. And we're not in a fucking relationship," she spat venom, closing off, "I know you think you're my knight in shining armor but you can't save me."

"Fuck you," I growled.

"Your parents left, Nancy left. Nobody stays. Do you ever think maybe it's your fault?"

Yes.

All the time.

I hold people too close until they suffocate and leave.

I scoffed, sharp words falling from my lips before I could think, "tell me again where your parents are? You pushed Billy away. I'm the only one you have left. You need me."

"I don't need you. I never needed you!"

"Then leave!" I shouted, "my life would be a lot fucking easier!"

Hurt flashed behind her eyes before she turned and stomped away.

--

Tommy’s POV

Booze flowed, bottles passed and plastic cups emptied. Cigarettes and joints created a blue haze above us all. Flashing lights and thumping music disoriented the senses further.

Sweat dripped down foreheads, mixing into the sticky floor.

White powder covered a table in the middle of the room. Dusted noses.

Glimpses of familiar faces made it through the haze. Carol laughing, wild and free. Dancing out of sight. That girl I saw with Steve, Billy's girl. Cat? Chugging from a clear bottle. Leaning over the table.

"Tommy!" Carol yelled, snapping me back to reality.

I was in the backyard, lying face up in the grass. I smiled lazily up at her.

"You look beautiful," I mumbled.

Pink bloomed in her cheeks, "Tommy, you've been gone for hours. What happened?"

I laughed, "hours? Wow.."

"Tommy," she snapped, "get it together. We have a problem."

--

“Hall?” Billy grumbled over the phone.

“What?

He huffed loudly, “keep an eye on her until someone gets her?”

I sighed, “yeah, sure, okay.”

I hung up and looked back at Carol, "he can't get her."

"Fuck, try...try Steve maybe? I'm gunna try to talk to her."

--

I led Steve through the house to the bathroom upstairs, furthest from the noise.

"Carol pulled her away from a bunch of creeps, brought her up here to calm down a little."

Carol leaned against the bathroom door, knocking loudly.

"Carol? What's going on?"

"She flipped. Pushed me out and locked the door."

Steve sighed, "thanks, guys. I'll take care of her."

@charmed-asylum

[bepoets]

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme  ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

[cockbiteproductions]

all prime numbers in the Misc section and all multiples of 10 in the other sections

we shall go backwards as the question list was posted backwards...... (and also why i rbed it.... why is it backwards? i dont know but i love it. edit: now that ive seen question 1 it looks to me like one of those forum profile copy pastes where you fill out the entire thing and put it in your profile.)

200: My crush’s name is: hmm...... well. i would rather not say!!!! they could see this post!!!!!!! and we do not want that happening.......

190: My 1st job was: lifeguard in the summer after 9th or 10th grade i think? it was decently fun. i grew up swimming competitively so the swimming part was a breeze. the remembering what to do if someone is drowning part? a bit harder. memory bad. what to do if someone has a potential broken spine/head injury when they’re in deep water? i don’t know bud. but it involves 3 whole people to get them out. 2 in the water, one person at all times holding their head in line with the rest of their body, the other one strapping them to the board (these two people in the water switch off, too) and then one person standing on the side of the pool looking very concerned. also don’t tell anyone but sometimes if i had like a 6 am shift i would get really groggy and almost fall asleep on the stand.

180: Marriage is: whatever people make of it but unfortunately bogged down with like a lot of societal expectations. to me it just sounds like hanging with your “best” friend until you die but a lot of other people interpret it differently.

170: What did you do yesterday? LOL wouldn’t it be nice if i remembered. wait no i do remember. i woke up “early” and watched a dnd livestream and struggled through buffering from my shit wifi. then i took a nap. then i had a chipotle burrito that was way too spicy. and i played a lot of minecraft. and i wrote a bit. and i also did like another 2-3 pages of the codecademy html intro course im working on.

160: Soul mates: nope. [taylor mason voice] i don’t believe in the concept of a soul. you are compatible with some people more than others and that’s based on your values and interests and personality. nothing Soul about it. it’s fun in fanfic and fiction though, but that’s because it’s fiction.

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes..... i like brown hair! but blonde is nice too.

140: Mac or PC: clown face emoji. mac. It’s A Unix System. more convenient for me. my current mac is a giant piece of shit though. though i think that’s my own fault for keeping all my old files from my old mac. shoulda started over. i think i might try to get this one factory reset or something.

130: Wal-Mart or Target: idk walmart. i go there a lot during college. walmart just has a larger selection. i used to go to target a lot as a kid though because my mom liked it more. i think it’s like slightly more bougie?

120: Gay Marriage: fuckin go for it pals. sad that it took as long as it did to become legal.

110: My Neighbors: they are nice i think. the ones to the right are teachers or something. the ones to the left are.... idk. their kids were like maybe 5 years older than me and my brother when we were growing up though and sometimes they would indulge in us tiny annoying kids and hang with us

100: Cried in front of someone: when the finale of the clone wars came out a few months ago and i was sobbing and i ran into the living room to tell my roommate and friend that i was sobbing. i was sobbing. i also recorded myself watching the entire eps and i Sure Was Sobbing.

90: Texted: actual sms text, yesterday in response to a friend who texted me a tik tok. instant messaging like 20 minutes ago to milo. i havent responded yet because im answering this and i cant multitask for shit.

89: Who makes you laugh the most: me obviously. i think i’m fucking hilarious. me aside, @redvsblue​ is the funniest person on this planet. also my friend holly irl who shares my incredibly dumb sense of humor. also you!

83: The most difficult thing to do is: hmm........ in general or for me personally? idk..... a lot? i am not a very courageous person. so i guess being brave.

79: First time you had a crush: >:( not appreciating this line of questioning that lines up with the prime numbers/mult of 10. i will not be saying as they ALSO follow me on tumblr. though they don’t use it often. shout out to middle school.......

73: Tomorrow: hopefully wake up around 1 pm at the latest. make a plum smoothie. play some more minecraft and get more netherite (new update slaps). do more coding tutorials. get some writing done. the same ol same ol.

71: Next Summer: hopefully i will have a job lined up for the fall and the pandemic is Over. i would like to just [do nothing] for the last summer Ever before job starts. if i don’t have a job then it’s Job Hunting Time.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: what the fuck...... like in a bad way? good way? cry of laughter? sadness? me, probably. my own damn brain be like “well it’s time to think about Yourself and be sad!” i know. very narcissistic of me. also dave filoni (director, producer, writer on clone wars).

61: My Car: not really mine. i just use it. beige 201? toyota camery. my brother tried to convince my dad he needed it more than i did last school year. my brother, who lived on campus in boston and flies to school from nc when he goes there, needs the car more than me, who lived off campus and drove to and from school to get back to nc, thinks he needed the car more than me. what a guy.

59: The movie I cried at was: last movie huh......... when was the last time i saw a movie? idk probably the rise of skywalker when leia died. i don’t know. i sure as hell didn’t cry at cats.

53: How do you like your steak cooked: i am vegetarian.

47: Who’s your best friend: @worthyghouls​ i guess. but also concept of “best friend” is so weird. No Best Friends. just lots of people i am good friends with. feels weird to all my other friends to pick One of them and be like “well i like you more than everyone else” :)

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: only in the vaguest vaguest vaguest sense. i would like to graduate with my bs degree. i would like to live in a city (doesn’t have to be a super big one. where im at rn is fine). i would like to have my first or second job i feel comfortable doing related to the degree i am getting. i would like to live in my own apartment (with roommates)/not with my parents. i would like to not be rent burdened. i would like my roommate to know how to take care of a cat or be okay with helping me learn how to take care of one. i would like to have a cat with said roommate. and that’s about it tbh. not very ambitious, i know. i just want a simple life......

41: Have you pre-named your children: bold of you to assume i will have children. no. if i ended up with child it would be like that tag on ao3 called “accidental baby acquisition” and i would name it on the spot.

30: Actress: hmm..... lauren marcus. lauren lopez. does fiona nova count if she’s going to be in rvb zero? also lindsay jones. aubrey plaza. idk. not many actresses i follow from project to project. it’s more i will see them in something and appreciate them in that role immensely. 

20: Holiday: halloween is pretty chill. just getting candy from strangers? dope. scary aesthetic? amazing. i also like christmas just for the sole fact that i get time off from [life].

10: Restaurant: a favorite restaurant??? who has one of those???? i sure don’t. and i’m not gonna say something cringey like olive garden or mcdonalds. i simply do not have one.

[jpoeg]

listen to this dream I had

So. I had this dream last night that I was directing a movie, and by golly the quality of this thriller/psychological horror film my subconscious created is grade A. I don’t have any writing talent so I’ll vaguely detail it here, and word of warning mc has some kind of mental illness but I don’t know which one, It’s just that she has one that results in the entire plot. I don't know enough about mental illnesses so i cant (and dont have a right) to make that call. So. yeah.

So, the main character is this college aged girl Ashley. She had light longish red/brown hair that was parted down the middle but fluffy so it worked. She had a kind of strong jawline and a small nose and kinda light brown eyes. I don’t need to go into this much detail but by golly I remember way too much about this dream. She was like 5”7, rather skinny. She wore a startling number of turtle necks. Anyway. 

In the opening scene, she was walking to her next class or some shit it was unspecified when she meets this guy. Imagine like. Wait let me morph an image real quick.

He looked like adam levine but blonde. but with a small stache. Like the nightwing actor from titans during fandome, but blonde. And he had green eyes and wore this dumb sherlock esc trenchcoak thing. Anyway. They meet, like bump into each other, very polite. And they discussed *shared but unspecified* class. He wants to study with her, she agrees. 

Now we get to see a couple study sessions later, shes wearing a light grey sweatshirt and her hair is in a bun with a black twirly hairtie bracelet thing. Hes wearing a loose green t shirt and some grey sweats with cuffs and shit. they be vibin. Laughing and shit. There is vaguely romantic/happy music in the background. Next we have a night out they shared. Like at a bar, just drinking some beers. They’re both wearing sport related paraphernalia. They cheer. Vague bonding shit. Anyway. One of these bonding scenes is Ashley wearing a stupid blue jacket and this guy making fun of her for wearing a winter coat in september.

So Ashley is hanging out with another friend, and shes talking about how cool her new friend is. Her friend teases her about being in love and shit. Ashley talks about hes kinda hot but mostly they vibe platonically, and he’s never made a move before so. Then Ashley is all “you should have met him.” “huh?” “we all have (class) together.” “where does he sit?” “right next to me??” “ash you sit next to an empty seat everyday”. Everybody, place your bets, what is he:

A) Ghost

B) Hallucination

C) Vague being of unimaginable horror

D) An asshole performing human experiments on Ashley. 

Ashley is all, oh damn. She goes back to her place (apartment? Dorm? Idk how college works) and (for my purposes I’m calling him chris but he didn’t have a name in my dream) and Chris is there, sitting on her bed. Ashley is all “the fuck???” and blinks and suddenly it hits her, he isn’t real. She’s the only one seeing him. (the answer is B hallucination). She goes to bed with the static image of chris sitting on her bed.

The next day she goes to a fucking doctors office because she’s having a crisis. But chris is in the passenger seat and keeps telling her how this isnt going to fix anything, he isnt going to go away, because he’s everywhere. And she looks out the window and the guy in the car next to her has chris’ face. She gets into the parking lot of the clinic she’s driven to but has a full mental breakdown in her car because chris wont shut the fuck up and she thinks that she’s going crazy. And yeah. 

So she turns to alcohol, because it’s easier to deal with Chris constant bullshit when she’s drunk. (when i say alcohol I mean like… beer… but with a godlike alcohol content. Because in dream she was drinking out of a beer bottle but like 2 bottles in and she was trashed). And a couple months later she’s out at a pub with her parent’s for her birthday. And chris is sitting in the empty seat next to her, and says something about how her dad is going to die, because she’s trying to get rid of him(chris) and how trying to remove chris is going to tear her life apart. She ignores it, about 30 minutes later her father kneels over with a heart attack and fucking dies. (its correlation not causation). Ashley has another mental breakdown and goes home. Now almost everyone she sees looks like chris. A week or so later she wakes up while the sun is rising from an unshown nightmare. She’s freaking out. And chris is in her room, trying to soothe her. And she looks into his eyes and gets up to leave. She’s driving down this interstate with the sunset ahead of her, and trees on either side. And its like 6am and the road is empty. The shot is from the backseat, and shes driving and sobbing. And out the window there is an endless sea of chris’s in a grid like pattern. And Ashley is swerving around them because she doesn’t know if any of them are people who she just thinks look like chris. And then you get a shot of her full car from the outside with the entire road in the shot, and she swerves off the road and collides with a tree. But the second she collides with the tree every chris blips out of existence. (because she fucking died)

[psychicrunawaybouquet-aus]

Hey guys, so like once a year I write something Spideychelle. Be warned I don’t proof read. This also happens to be a tacky combination of angst and fluff. Enjoy.

Even after all this time, she still frantically checked the news every night, she still followed Spider-Man alerts, she still turned up the radio at the mention of his name she still wore her webbed spider necklace every day without fail. Eventually she had begun to wonder if it was worth it. She had left him to escape Spider-Man, and yet she everywhere she looked, he was there. She still loved him, she still loved Spider-Man and there was nothing she could do to escape it. Her 3 month hiatus in Europe only reminded her of when they were young, when they first fell in love. Her 6 months spent completely dedicated to work and nothing else only served as a distraction. But by the time she had accepted that worrying about Spider-Man and being with peter was better then worrying about Spider-Man and being without peter, it was too late. There was a girl, apparently her name was Gwen, she was small and feminine and delicate and According to Ned she was a teacher that volunteered her spare time saving obscure African animals. Gwen it seemed, was everything MJ could never truly be for Peter.

So she moved on. She dated sporadically but it was mostly empty. And then one night her phone rang, it’s insistent buzzing waking her from sleep abruptly. She didn’t even check the caller Id she just sleepily answered. ‘What is it?’ She demanded weakly her voice clouded with sleep.

There was an extremely small, anxious breath that immediately caused MJ’s nervous system to kick into gear. ‘Mj, something happened.’ It was the voice of Ned Leeds, but it sounded broken, concerned afraid. ‘What happened?’ She heard herself say her heart in her throat. ‘It’s Peter... he, it was bad MJ. It’s bad.’

‘Tell me straight Leeds.’ She heard herself say in a harsh cold manner.

‘They don’t think he is going to make it.’ MJ nearly dropped her phone but she forced herself to listen to the other end of the line. ‘I thought you might want to be here. In case...’ Ned’s voice broke before he paused and continued. ‘There is a car on the way. We’re upstate, it’s ugh. It’s up to you.’

She couldn’t find her voice, all she could hear was vacant ringing of blood rushing in her ears. She was shaking, she was sure that she was going to throw up. But she needed to go. ‘I’ll be there.’ Was all she said before hanging up.

....

The upstate facility was much the same as she had remembered it. Cold, commercial, an echo of heroes that had sacrificed their lives. Peter couldn’t join the dead. Not yet. He was too full of life, too good too... she couldn’t go any further. Yet her feet kept moving as she was guided through the concrete hallways until eventually she was met with a small waiting area occupied by a pale looking May Parker, a puffy eyed Ned Leeds and a small terrified looking blonde who she knew to be Gwen Stacey.

Suddenly MJ felt awkward, out of place. She had no right to be here. She shouldn’t have come. But before she could consider her mistake much further May was striding towards her pulling her into a crushing hug. She let her arms hold May, she tried to be as strong as she could for a woman who has lost so much. May released the embrace allowing Ned to pull MJ into a crushing hug. ‘He’s still here. Thanks for coming.’ Ned whispered to her.

Thanks for coming. The words rang around her mind over and over again as she gently smiled at Gwen and took a seat in the small room. It could have been hours or minutes of silence before the doctor emerged. She heard him say that Peter was in an induced coma, that they didn’t know if he would come out or even make it through the night. That he may be able to hear them, that they should say their goodbyes just in case...’

Gwen and May both burst into tears and Ned’s head simply hangs low. But MJ bites the inside of her mouth. She has no right to cry. She let him go for this exact reason, she let him go to protect herself. She will kill him herself before she lets him die like this.

So they all go in, one by one and utter their private goodbyes to Peter Parker, and MJ, she goes last. She didn’t even want to go in at all but May gives her this strange look of understanding. She seems to say if you don’t say goodbye you will regret it.

So she walks in the room with beeping machines and flashing instruments and as soon as the door closes she sinks to her knees and feels her body rack with sobs. Peter looks so fragile in the bed. He’s bruised and sallow and it takes her 3 whole minutes before she can will herself to stand up and approach him.

But when she does, she takes a seat at his side and brushes the back of his hand with her fingers selfishly. He isn’t hers. But she allows herself to imagine that he is. She allows herself to feel the love she has been denying herself for two years and the emotions are unbearable within her own body.

‘Peter.’ She murmurs likely to no one. She isn’t sure if he is there anymore but she tries anyway. ‘I’m so sorry. You’re so bloody stupid but so aM I’ She took a shaky breath before she moved closer to him on the bed, clasping his still but warm hand. ‘I still love you so much.’ She admitted. ‘ I’ve loved you everyday since I was fourteen and I don’t want to know a world that doesn’t have you in it.’ Her body collapsed on itself until she was resting her forehead against his. ‘Please Peter, I love you.’

But he didn’t move, he didn’t answer, she didn’t really expect him too. But the fear and disappointment in seeing his eyes still closed, his face still vacant. It was horrifying. So she turned around and walked away, briskly wiping her eyes before she left the room.

....

They waited all night. Gwen falling in and out sleep in her chair. May patting her hand gently. Ned tapping his leg. MJ sat by herself digging her nails into her palms to keep herself from crumbling. Until she found herself getting up and walking towards the kitchen. She made an espresso and downed it, splashing water in her face to keep herself alert.

‘MJ.’ May called. ‘He’s brainwaves have changed, they think he’s waking up.’

She and May ran the way back to Peter’s room halting abruptly outside of it. Waiting for the doctors inside to pass on information.

May held her hand so tight, they were crushing each other. MJ felt as though her breath had stopped all together and that her heart was going to beat so hard it would escape her chest.

Eventually the doctor emerges. He leads with ‘Mr. Parker appears to be waking up we think it’s because of ....’ MJ only hears that he is waking up. She immediately wonders if he would be ok, if he would be safe and she was over whelmed with her thoughts. He isn’t hers. She reminds herself. So she recesses to the corner of the waiting room. They only let May in Peters room anyway.

Pepper Potts offers to let them stay. They all agree and MJ begins to realise that she has probably over stayed her welcome. But she can’t leave until she knows that he is ok. A shower does her good, and as she sits in the bland waiting room again, the waiting seeming to never end, she finds herself alone with Gwen. May was still locked in Peters room, Ned had gone to rest, so here they were.

‘Hi MJ.’ Gwen said in a sweet but tired tone. ‘I’m Gwen.’

‘Hi Gwen.’ MJ said softly. ‘I’m sorry we had to meet under these circumstances.’

Gwen offers her a sad half smile. But changed the topic speaking suddenly she said. ‘I didn’t know about Spider-Man. I mean, I didn’t know that he was... is Spider-Man. It’s a lot to process.’

MJ felt a wave of empathy for the blonde opposite her. She knew exactly how she felt. But to learn Peters identity and nearly loose him all in one day. Well that must have been a lot.

‘I’m sorry.’ MJ says stiffly. ‘That must be very overwhelming for you.’ She has never been a particularly motherly or caring woman, especially in the company of strangers, but she tried to make her voice sounds genuine.

Gwen leans forward in her seat. Her face open and vulnerable. ‘Peter always spoke so highly of you MJ, I can see why.’ She paused before she continued. ‘Did he ever.. did he tell you the truth?’

And MJ knows what she is asking, she wants to know if Peter trusted MJ and not her. Part of MJ wants to bask in the knowledge that that part of Peter was just for her, that their relationship was special but she suppresses it.

‘No he didn’t. I knew but only because I figured it out back in high school, before he and I even...’ She cuts herself off, there was no need to go down that road.

‘Well I feel stupid now.’ Gwen chuckled.

‘No dont.’ MJ said quickly. ‘He used to be terrible at hiding it. But to be honest I think If he had of been able to keep it from me he would have, he always wants to protect the people closest to him. He wouldn’t have wanted to lie to you, he’s just stupid and would have done it to protect you or whatever.’

‘I don’t feel very protected now.’ Gwen said looking down at the floor. ‘I feel like maybe what I thought we had wasn’t even there at all.’

......

Peter officially woke up at 1:30 pm 30 hours after his accident. May had wiped the blood off of his face and the doctors had run some preliminary tests. He appeared to have no brain damage, no memory loss, no permanent injuries that wouldn’t heal with time. All thanks to that spider bite.

MJ was ready to leave, safe in the knowledge that he would be ok. But then apparently he had asked to see Ned and Gwen and apparently her as well. So once again she went last. And as she entered she felt a strange mix of immense relief to see Peters eyelids blinking, his arm moving his chest rising and falling as well as intense fear. After two years of silence what could she say to him? After her emotional admission on his death bed how could she look at him?

‘Hey MJ.’ Peter said weakly. ‘Hey dork.’ She said taking a seat next to him, forcing herself to look into his lively youthful eyes. ‘Sorry I scared everyone’ he said his voice rough from swelling and fatigue. ‘It’s good to see you.’ He added.

‘It’s not good to see you. Not like this.’ She saw his hand move, as though he was gesturing for her to hold it, she slowly and hesitantly slid her hand into his. His warm skin immediately sending an electronic pulse up her arm. It still felt so right. His hands still felt the same.

‘MJ’ he coughed out. ‘I think I had a dream about you. When I was out.’

She smiled at him. ‘What happened in the dream?’ She said it so kindly, so genuinely. He made her so sappy she hated it.

He gave her a weak smile. ‘You were just here. Now I think maybe it wasn’t a dream.’

He doesn’t say it out loud, but she knows what he means. He heard her. He had heard everything she said. He felt her presence and there was no getting around it.

‘I won’t be staying much longer Peter.’ She forced herself to say. ‘I need to go home, and you belong with May and Ned and Gwen.’

‘I still love you MJ. I know it’s not fair to say, not fair for Gwen and not fair for you. I know this was the reason you didn’t want to be with me. But I nearly died, and I can’t live another day with out telling you. I tried to stop loving you MJ but I just can’t.’ He looks so earnest as he speaks, even though his swollen features she can see how soft he is, how much he wants her to understand.

She feels tears well in her eyes. And it takes a while to find her voice. But eventually she speaks. ‘We can’t do this now Peter. But thank you for telling me. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should never have.’ But she can’t continue. Yet again her voice is caught in her throat. He’s with Gwen, no matter what they feel, it’s all done now.

‘I love you Peter.’ She said gently as she squeezed his hand. His eyes shon with tears as she said it. ‘I hope you get better soon.’ She gently pulled her hand away from him and as she left the room she didn’t look back at him.

.....

So she went home, went back to her life and months past until, on a quiet Sunday afternoon there was a knock at her door. She swung it open forcefully, fully expecting her Uber eats delivery but instead she was met with the face of Peter Parker.

‘Hi MJ.’ He said, his voice uncomfortably high pitched and shaded in awkwardness. ‘Umm hi dork.’ She said, blinking at him.

‘Can I come in?’ He asked. She just moved out of the doorway in reply allowing him to pass.

‘Nice place’ he said. It wasn’t, she was a single income earner in New York, it was a shoe box. ‘Thanks.’ She muttered anyway.

There was a beat of intense awkward silence in which she couldn’t look at him but he only seemed to be able to look at her. Eventually she met his eye, and they both moved to talk, their words stumbling over each other.

‘You go first.’ They both said together. Causing the two of them to break into laughter in MJ’s tiny apartment.

‘Actually I will go first’ Peter interrupted before she could speak.

‘Wow ok then.’ She said, dead pan. ‘come into my house and demand to speak first.’

But he was used to her taunting by now and apparently he couldn’t be deterred. so he ignored it, stepping closer to her he opened his mouth and began to explain himself.

‘I broke up with Gwen.’ He said abruptly. ‘Or she broke up with me, I’m not clear on that still but the point is, we broke up. Four months ago’ he added on the end.

‘Oh.’ Was all MJ could manage in response, she wasn’t exactly sure how to comfort her estranged ex boyfriend on his more recent breakup so she just kind of patted his shoulder and murmured ‘sorry bout that.’

Peter smiled at her. Completely smiled, his whole face erupting with happiness. ‘What?’ She questioned, taken aback by his lively expression and odd reaction. ‘MJ.’ He spoke her name like it was everything like she meant everything, at least to him. He sniffed before he continued ‘I promised myself I wouldn’t do this to you, but I have to try.’ He pauses again and finally looked away from her, taking a deep breath as though building up the courage to say something profound.

And suddenly she knows why he is here. He loves her still. She is sure of it, she can feel it radiating from his entire being. But she is afraid to hear it. She winces in preparation and finally he says ‘MJ, I love you. I want to be with you.’

She wishes that she was stronger, she wishes that she could turn him down and let him live out his heroic saviour complex by himself. But she just can’t. No matter how strong she was in every other aspect of her life, Peter was always her weakness.

‘I can’t promise not to be Spider-Man.’ He added. Taking her hand, his physical contact further obscuring her better judgment. ‘But I can promise to be more careful, to spend less time in the suit. To make sure I put you and our safety first. I want to compromise MJ, I can’t live with out you. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.’

She moved closer to him and before she could stop herself she had pulled him into a crushing hug. She burried her face in his neck and relished in the feeling of him. So familiar, so solid, so peter. ‘I though you were going to die.’ She admitted as her body racked with tears. She hadn’t cried over it yet, and the intense emotion founded on years of build up was ready to explode.

‘I know. I know.’ He cooed. ‘I’m so sorry MJ.’

.....

They talked all night. They held each other all night. And the truth is, that life was never easy for them, but at the end of the day, they had each other, and it’s all they ever really wanted.