#i dont think hes a very popular character anyway which is good

[coern]

I wanna draw my main from when I played genshin like years ago but I also don't wanna draw and post a.genshin impact character really. or get into genshin impact really

[petorahs]

Keep up the Avendaymaxxing‼️‼️‼️ But I’m glad you enjoyed the idea of that AU and how Avenday could still be a part of it. ^^

Thinking about your Avenday comic with the ship child and—ohh I love how Sunday’s ear wings are bigger now, and I also saw the tag saying that his hair was waist length. He ended up becoming more like his mother, both in appearance and perhaps even attitude… Let’s hope he doesn’t become too much like her though and styles his hair like the “dead mom hairstyle” ahaha, hah.

Ok off topic but I feel the need to rant a little regarding the relationship between Ratio and Sunday. I’ve only seen a few people (including you) talk about this, so I felt like expressing my own opinion on the matter. I know (or at least, would like to believe) that people are mostly joking about Ratio hating Sunday, but I feel like people actually believe that he genuinely hates him when… it’s never felt that way to me. To me, Ratio was more so concerned about Sunday’s mental health, but simply worded it in a more direct/blunt way since that’s just how he is. Even during the 2.1 quest, I never got the feeling that Ratio hated him. Sure, he could have disliked Sunday a bit, but not to the point of feeling genuine hatred towards him. Didn’t Ratio even say that Sunday thought alike to Aventurine, who is someone that we know he’s concerned about? If he’s worried about Aventurine, and Ratio compares Sunday to him, then that kinda leads me to believe he has some concern for him too, but just in a somewhat less obvious way. Again, this is just my opinion though. As someone who loves/kins both Ratio and Sunday, it just kinda hurts to see this mischaracterization 😭

—🪼 anon.

WAHOO yes milfy older Sunday was always gonna look like his mom to me! it was a toss up between that and short, boyish hair tbh, which I still want to draw some day :] (kinda like how some ppl draw modern Neuvillette with short hair!) (although Sunday's canon hair is already pretty "modern"-like iygwim)

and..........................funny you bring up the Ratio/Sunday thing when I was just done calming myself after seeing yet another post about Ratio being Sunday's biggest hater AGAINST MY WILL...! makes my eye twitch.

if it's a joke like you said then i fail to see what's funny 😭 if anything it makes ppl who were neutral on Ratio hate him and those who hated him have even more reasons to, because it depicts the Doctor as having ill will toward someone who he knows needs medical help? it's so weird so-called Ratio fans would mischaracterize him like this! wouldn't they want to highlight the best- or at the very least accurate parts of Ratio's character? that guy? you know? Doctor of Truth? values truth above all else?

I just feel bad for the constant butchering of this dude's character and for Sunday tbh. the things these people twist to fit their narrative. I ranted abt this on the side acc in replies with a friend on why I think they did this but let's just say it's. for petty reasons. sadge.

basically, everything you said. first read-around Ratio's comment for Sunday was so.....normal. he says it like it is but it's not like he's being a hater about it..? sooo fucking weird to me how people get this twisted dude. if anything it's Sunday that has valid reasons to hate the guy for double crossing him, but we know he knows it was all Aventurine. my head hurts. people are so incapable of being normal about these three huh.

I could go on about this specific thing but siiiiiigh. deep breaths. just meaningless internet drivel. classic hoyo fandom mischaracterization. not worth my time. staying in my little internet bubble with people like you who actually get the characters. Deep Breaths...!

(actually off to daydream/draw Veritas being nice to Sunday out of spite......💢💢💢💢)

[kaisentine]

𝒲HAT IS THAT MELODY?

turn that shit up ! what popular song do bllk boys remind me of?

feat. michael kaiser, itoshi sae, mikage reo, itoshi rin, oliver aiku

note : YES… i did do research on what the songs’ meanings are and i understand some of them don’t fit as well but i’m also basing this off of certain lyrics as well so #don’tdiscriminate… also this has opened up my multi-character works 😁 expect more in the future LMFAO. also is this the right time to say i did not proofread

💿 MICHAEL KAISER is now playing… back to the basics by lana del rey (unreleased)

cw : uhm coercion (i think), implied toxic relationship (I LOVE KAISER DONT GET ME WRONG… but he’s still poopy anyway #keepingitreal☹️) + if you count that in, then there’s angst if you squint, thoughts of killing (JUST ONCE and it’s not serious, promise!)

“everybody’s saying that you’re no good for me”

it’s not hard to decipher you’re definitely in love with the star soccer player—michael kaiser. however, even with your rose-tinted glasses, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still an asshole. so now it honestly feels like it’s you and him (probably ness too) v.s your friends. they just don’t understand the euphoria hidden behind all his lies. but God was it hard to handle him now that he’s a hotshot within the athletic world—it’s like when you try to speak to him, he starts spewing nonsense and even more lies to you.

“c’mon, hase.” his plea sounds more like demanding no matter how hard he tried to sound convincing. it’s weird seeing a man like him on his knees begging so you avert your gaze with your arms crossed. you know you’re doomed to give into him and his sweet-talk again—like you always do—kaiser knows that, he just needs to find which button to press to make you give in faster.

this time you’re taking longer than you normally do. he’s starting to get impatient by your little game of trying to get rid of him. “kaiser… we can’t keep doing this anymore.” you finally say, something kaiser didn’t expect you to say. “last name basis already, huh?” he gets up from his (very awkward) position to tower over you—to intimidate you.

you try to stand your ground but with the way he’s looking at you, is it too late to run away?

“i know what you’re trying to do. my friends keep telling me.” you’re stubborn, aren’t you? you’re annoying when you’re like this, he hates it. “and you’re really listening to your friends over your boyfriend?” he keeps trying to talk but you cut him off, “ex-boyfriend. please, don’t do this.” you’re the one begging now and he really wishes he could relish in this sight forever.

SLAM

holy shit, did you just slam the door on him? i’m going to die—you think. kaiser chuckles on your porch after being met with your front-door i’m going to kill you—he thinks.

the next few weeks are bombarded by countless messages from ness. who you are quite acquainted with him because of kaiser. all of them are along the lines of ‘trust me, he’s changed’ they’re all full of bullshit that you can smell it and scrunch your nose up in disgust. but as fate would have it, it wasn’t on your side!

“took ‘ya long enough, hase.” the sickly sweet nickname rolls off his tongue like second nature. it’s a very familiar scene, he’s on your doorstep again. he’s towering over you and your eyes are glossed over with admiration and guilt. “‘m really sorry.” you try not to sniffle to keep it cool. you really despise the way kaiser can’t keep his stupid grin off of his face at your weak attempt not to cry. “aw, it’s okay. but it’s gonna take a lot for me to forgive you.” he says in faux concern before pulling you into a hug—his cologne filling up your senses and making it hard to breathe.

the urge to punch him in the stomach is futile by the way he basically crushes your bones in the hug. oh you hate the way you can never get rid of him, oh you hate the way you give into him, oh you hate the way he’s the one wanting the apology when it’s actually you who deserves such privilege.

‘i hate you but i really just hate the way i love you too much to let go.’

because eventually, you know you’ll always fall into his traps no matter how far you run away. however, the only thing on your mind is how you’ll never hear the end of it from your friends.

💿 ITOSHI SAE is now playing… no one noticed by the marias

cw : angst, hurt/little to no comfort (guys… please don’t burn me), OK but open-ending, uh sae might be a really super big asshole here, i also realized at the end that 7 weeks and 3 days by yungatita would’ve been better but YOLO

“come on, don’t leave me, it can’t be that easy, babe.”

as much as you’d like to make him stay, you know he wouldn’t. he wanted to be as free as a bird in the sky with no restraints—including a relationship. even after promising one day he’d come back, reassuring you that you’ll always be his answer, he then left without a trace. now you’re just starting to realize letting go is easier than it seems until the problem arises once again.

you know he already told you that he’d come back but why only now does he decide to show up? a lover of yours to whom you vowed to never love another before his return. it��s just been so long that you doubt he evens remembers the promise.

“didn’t think you’d actually turn up.” you spit out, he isn’t even phased by the malice in your tone. “i told you i would, didn’t i?” he responds. “yeah but that was like ten fucking years ago?” you emphasize the ten fucking years because seriously, ten years radio silence and he thinks he can just slide back into you life like that? he must be a crazed man.

for the first three years of those ten, you were content with waiting for him. the fourth and fifth, you began growing impatient. sixth, you felt like you didn’t care anymore. from the seventh to ninth year, you swore you hated him with a dagger aimed to your heart. lastly, on the tenth year (on which he decided to show up), you finally accepted he did not give a shit and that you shouldn’t either.

“i needed to prioritize my career before i could support any of my relationships.” he now sounds confused by the way you’re so upset at this situation.

he used the ten years you took to realize that dwelling on some dumb red-head wasn’t worth it to work on his soccer career? “you could’ve texted.” you retorted. “didn’t have the time to.” your jaw actually wants to drop by how ignorant his response is. he’s talking to the person he ghosted for a decade like this?

you’d like to joke around and say ‘damn sae, you’re just like an ex who slides back into your life’ but it isn’t a joke—not with him, at least. “didn’t have time to? it would’ve been better if you never had the time to. just let us go, itoshi.” the way you say his last name is deadly. he’s already been bitten by a snake once before so he knows he can survive your bite.

does he even know how much you sacrificed? did he put two and two together to realize how much he made an impact to you? so much so that at one point, anything would’ve reminded you of him.

“you’re being emotional, talk to me when you aren’t.” he says as if he wasn’t the one who started the conversation—the nerve!

“my number is the same but change the last digit to 8.” and off he goes, removing himself from your life like always.

the way you’re quietly dialing the phone that night completely destroys everything you worked for—like you’re crumbling down just for the thought that he might pick up.

💿 MIKAGE REO is now playing… show me how by men i trust

cw : guys it’s getting too angsty for me i might cry, still a lil angst and neglect but it’s not that bad 😭, i acc wrote this one last bc i didn’t know which song to use for him (my first option was shameless by avenoir), when i was writing this… i was thinking abt melania and trump’s relationship (WE LISTEN AND WE DON’T JUDGE.), reader eats meat… anyway… so this is significantly worse than everyone elses so uhm, cliff hanger who!

“show me how you care.”

everyone keeps commenting on how lucky you are that you managed to bag a billionaire’s son and you say thanks! because that’s how you should respond. but dear God, does he even know anything about you anymore? being in a chokehold relationship with mikage corp’s heir isn’t too hard until you start questioning reo’s love for you. yeah he’s shown you how he loves you but you need more words instead of actions and a credit card.

“reo, can we talk?” you ask the purple-haired male while he’s hard at work at his desk. “i’m a bit busy right now. we can talk later, yeah? go out and use my card as an apology.” he hums before returning his vision back to whatever he was doing. it’s the typical response you were expecting but you didn’t want to use his money—you wanted to talk.

you’ve already exited the room to go to the mall anyway. you’re left eating alone at some restaurant with shopping bags being used as your excuse for some company. the steak you ordered is bland like the way reo hugs you. his touches feel empty now, every time you go to hold his hand, he doesn’t flat out reject it but he doesn’t squeeze your hand the same way you do—the same way he used to.

one thing about reo is that it seems like he hates communication and in his world, the only way he knows how to say sorry is his credit card.

he doesn’t care, does he?

when you get back to his place, he acts like he doesn’t remember the way you said that you wanted to talk. he keeps trying to put off that talk for as long as he can. it’s gotten to the point you have that stupid look on your face—cheeks being slightly puffed out with your eyebrows furrowed. reo hates the look on your face so he approaches you with caution.

“you good?” he asks but you don’t respond. “need a hug?” he just keeps talking to the point you feel like something is boiling in your head. you shake your head to say no because you’ve started to dislike his emotionless hugs—feels like you’re hugging a log with brittle twigs. how would he feel like if you gave him the same treatment he’s given you? although, it is a bit more serious because you aren’t speaking to him at all.

his time will come where you grace him with your voice one again but that’s only when he actually asks you to talk to him! in his invisible diary, he write ‘it’s been 3 days since they’ve spoken to me, i can’t see through my right eye…’ sure he’s being more than overdramatic but he can’t figure out why you’re giving him the silent treatment.

oh but little did you know, he remembers that you did want to speak with him…

“can you just speak to me, please?” the way he says please is intoxicating to you. you’re waiting.

“fine. let’s have that talk.”

💿 ITOSHI RIN is now playing… lovers rock by tv girl

cw : unrequited love, angst, reader should go to r/aita 😭, uh kissing, this one is longer but rin isn’t even in my favs 😭

“because love can burn like a cigarette”

and it only hurts because you know you can’t have him. you’d love to kiss him right now but you understand that if you do then your whole life would probably blow up into a million pieces. it hurts so much that even if your life blows up, it wouldn’t matter. can it hurt that much to just kiss him? yes.

“oh he totally likes you!” you giggle at your friend’s flushed face after an encounter with her longterm crush—itoshi rin. she tries to shut you up in a joking manner but manages to only do so after she confesses something. “didn’t i tell you?” she asks which makes you raise an eyebrow. “tell me what?”

“…he does like me.”

wow, an arrow straight to the heart much? your expression of gloom is soon masked by raw surprise. “really?! when did that happen?” you force out a smile—to your credit, you were genuinely surprised by such because never once had she mentioned it before. “last week.” she sounds guilty, the type of guilty you’d only show your friends if you forgot to mention that you got married.

little did she know, you also had your eyes on the raven-haired man for quite some time now too. “ooh girl i’m hurt,” you start with it off with faking a shot to the heart and she laughs. “should’ve told me earlier!’ you almost fall to the ground for the effects (and also because your knees feel weak in sorrow) but refrain from doing so. “sorry, sorry! come to my house this saturday, i’ll introduce you!” she says before quickly running off to wherever.

“sure.” you whisper. walking to the nearby bathroom feels more like you’re dragging yourself to it. you can’t bring yourself to muster up the tears to cry over heartbreak because she really didn’t know you also liked rin. but the way you couldn’t even cry because now you’d feel like the asshole? you hated her.

you dreaded going to her house that saturday.

sadly, time stops for no one and now you’re here sitting in your friend’s room with rin all alone because she needed to help her mom with dinner. it wasn’t a crime to yearn for someone you couldn’t have but being with the someone you couldn’t have? someone bring you to jail already.

it’s quite awkward in the room due to the silence and both of you choosing to not speak. but being a chatterbox such as yourself, you’d soon come to regret it. “so… whats up?” you ask with caution. “nothing much. i only agreed to come because my soccer training was canceled.” he answers. you nod at his words—he looks really peaceful right now.

his black hair draping down his face, striking eyes bringing emphasis to his bottom lashes… his nonchalant expression. it’s just too much for you.

across the room.

you’re across the room from him and you hate the distance. all you know is that they both like each-other—nothing more—no labels—no launches. would doing something now really hurt more than how you’re hurting right now?

it’s quick. you were quick on your feet to get over to him, you were quick to bend down to where he was resting his back on your friend’s bed, you were quick to close the space, you were quick to move away.

rin is bewildered by your actions with no words to say. “sorry!” you apologize as fast as you dash out of the room—leaving him sitting there to question his thoughts, bringing a finger up to his lips—did his mu’s bestfriend just steal his first kiss?

“where are you going?” your friend’s mom asks aloud when she sees you dashing to the front-door. “my mom called! emergency! say that i said sorry!” those were the words you spoke before booking it out the front door.

later, when your friend comes out of the bathroom to question her mom what the commotion was all about, she just says that you had an emergency—she frowns because she really wanted you to try her cooking. after dinner, she brings rin back up to her room. just like you did hours before, she advances her moves to hover her face right above his—to give him a kiss, just like you, albeit, it’s longer and more drawn-out unlike yours.

“you’re my first kiss.” he mutters out.

💿 OLIVER AIKU is now playing… why’d you only ever call me when you’re high? by artic monkeys

cw : SITUATIONSHIP (bleuhhh), somewhat suggestive..? (idk but be wary cause idk how to write him w/o making it smth like that), angst, aiku is an asshole (BRO everyone is an asshole here i’m crying), mention of drugs

“why’d you only ever call me when you’re high?”

your lame situationship loves calling you late at night after getting with another girl and now you’ve grown to hate when he calls you but you just can’t stop picking up his calls.

you’re jolted up awake once you hear that fuck-ass ringtone coming from behind your pillow. the screen is bright so you have to squint really hard to see what was going on, you’re on your way to decline the call when you see his name pop up but your hand slips (!) and you swipe the call. “oliver, it’s three in the morning.” you groggily complain only to be met with heavy breathing on the other end.

“oh don’t even. call me when you’re done.” you gasp, then end the call. you throw your phone to the end of your bed and slam yourself back down onto your mattress. does that man ever catch a break? why do you even like him. it’s not like you guys are really anything else so is it really worth it to hang on and only hope for something you know you won’t get in return?

you probably get a good two hour nap before you’re awoken by another phone call. “you done?” you ask, more awake now since it’s 5AM already. “hi. yeah.” his voice reverberates along his bathroom walls—he’s gross, isn’t he? “you’re gonna make me pick up another phone call just to say that?” you sound irritated, and you are because it’s such a hassle to keep up with him like this.

“dunno, just wanted to hear your voice.” he replies in a wobbly voice. is he high again? “…are you high?” you ask in concern as if this wasn’t his 54th time calling after smoking something. “maybe.” he says. “you’re hopeless. you should go to rehab, you know?” you snake your way into his mind but it’s stupid to think he can even comprehend what you’re telling him right now.

“nah, i got better things to do, ‘ya know?” he chuckles at your pitiful attempt to help him get better. he knows you know that he isn’t keen on doing such—not anymore, at least. he’s content with his life as it is. “can i…” you breathe, “can i ask you something?” you finish. “what’s up?” he’s being as attentive as he can be through this state, he trying his best.

you hate the way how out of it he sounds, yet he’s still trying to hear you out. “do you still want this?” it’s like you had something get lifted off your chest only for it to get dropped on your head instead. “want what?” great, he doesn’t understand your question. not wanting to give this opportunity up, you rephrase it. “i meant, do you still want me?”

the other line is silent for a while. “sure, i still want you.” he responds. “so stop calling me when you’re high or you’re with another girl.” you winced at your own words. he’s really taking advantage of the way you understand that you guys aren’t anything more than a “oh, it’s complicated” type of relationship and that you guys are technically still allowed to see other people—but he’s the only one actually using it.

“let me ask you this. do you still want us?”

you loathe him but you can’t help but reply with i do.

“so don’t complain about my calls.”

thank you for reading this far :)

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Sorry my English isn’t great but Can we have more thoughts on Syd & Carm and sex? How do you think they would both go about interacting with it and each other if we ever got a scene of them like that? (Which I don’t think we will but one can hope 😭)

Don't apologize! Fun fact- I used to write E fanfiction, but nothing for sydcarmy (yet maybe in the future)

But if we're talking cannon: it would happen in the daylight similar to the table scene. Morning after and just the beginning. There wouldn't be anxiousness from Carmy in the morning or showing Carmy's mind somewhere else. He's very present with Sydney and always aware of where she's at. She takes space in his head anyway - so sex would be all about her pleasure and strong eye contact.

You know what would be great for me? They don't even have to show explicity sex, show me the morning after Sydney has spent the night and Carmy is ready to go down on her- she's the first thing on his mind in the morning and she's in bed- with him, post sex? Yeah, he's not wasting a moment.

After all, it’s FX—it's an MA-rated show, so we already expect explicit love scenes and how they will be portrayed. Give us a good surprise! They've already shown explicit positions of certain characters, so why not illustrate how things are different this time?

Here are my thoughts on Sydney and Carmy: it's a popular belief that Sydney is the dominant one, I think Carmy actually holds a more dominant role in bed, at least at first. There’s a suggestion that in the end, Sydney will always have emotional power over him; she has his heart in her hands and ultimately calls the shots when it comes to the core of their relationship.

I think based on the show- Sydney has a praise kink, but it seems to be specific to Carmy. She pokes fun at Marcus in the show when he gives her praise. But Carmy gives her praise? She melts. So imagine Carmy giving her so much praise during sex?

Their relationship shows how Carmy pulls vulnerability out of her when he reads her. Being a dominant partner is a skill; it helps the more submissive partner switch off their racing thoughts and open up. For the submissive partner to really let go, they’ve got to trust that their dom will catch them if they fall. If the dom doesn’t support them, that’s when problems come up.

Sydney and Carmy play these roles on the show, dont they? and it's a challenge. Carmy is working on being someone Sydney can rely on to catch her when she falls, and for Sydney, she knows how scary it is to completely give in. When Carmy is confident enough, he reassures her by saying things like, “I won’t let you” showing that he’s up for the challenge and ready to give her what she needs. He's ready to care for her because she cares for so many people- so wouldn't it be nice for her for someone to take care of her? To make her happy and satisfied?

For Carmy, stepping into the dom role is great practice. He wasn't really feeling it when Claire was leading the chase; she lead the getting his number, in their private scene notice she's the one leading the questions to get to know him more, she's the one in the morning telling him "everything is fine" the morning after- Claire is the one on top of him while Carmy sits up at night.

Carmy wants to build enough confidence to take charge himself with Sydney, and after she gives over, he looks to Sydney for a bit of reassurance, asking her if she liked what happened. He’ll gently ask her to share what she enjoys and what doesn’t work for her - Carmy is the one who leads with questions.

Even if Carmy is the dominant one, Sydney won't make it easy for him. She doesn't make it easy for him anyway, and he deserves to be questioned and challenged as she does in canon.

[angelmachines]

teru & socialization

i've posted about this before but something ive been thinking about a LOT is mp100's themes of loneliness (and eventual connections). i think this is an aspect of teru's character (in particular) that gets left out because it's not as explicit but i've been wanting to do a deep dive on it for a while and i finally sat down to do it. just a warning, this post is gonna be LONG.

these two panels are from chapter 16 of the manga (which i'm using for my evidence because i. dont want to scrub through the anime LOL). initial sentiment: teru uses his powers to cheat having friends/a good social life and wouldn't have that if he tried earnestly. this is a fair interpretation of the scene. with what we know, at this point of time (as in within the teru-mob fight) teru would not be able to connect with other people earnestly, due to his mindset. which i think is a fair interpretation, HOWEVER:

(from chapter 17 ^^) the first panel shows teru's expression to be strained and the second is visibly unhappy. this puts the first set of panels into a different context, that maybe underneath all of this, teru doesn't WANT any of this life that he's built. keep in mind that i'm analyzing this with teru's possible autistic tendencies in mind & you dont have to believe he's autistic, im not your dad, but i do find this a pretty meaningful indication of masking if he were

(note: yes, the strain can definitely be read as comp-het, and i would agree but that's not relevant so go read this post on that instead)

even if the rest of these panels show teru content with his life, i think these expressions are pretty vital to how we read his life especially because we know so little of it. think about it, if you were a kid desperate for affection because you couldn't get it anywhere else, especially not in a way that would come off as "mature" or "unaffected", wouldn't you also look for validation in your popularity? even if it aligned you with people who you consider fundamentally different to you? my point here is that teru can't not stand out-- it's in his nature-- and we are shown how he tries to blend in & receive attention in the only way possible to him; which is to say that he molds himself into something that is palatable, likeable, and superior to other people. if he's nothing, like mob, he has spent his entire life covering up for it. if he fails socially, like mob, he has to be good at everything (even if he cheats to do so) so that everyone else can look past it.

(side note for my teru angst enjoyers: this is a panel of his mom. the mom who he hasn't seen in years. doesn't it make sense that, if he hasn't heard his mom say he's proud of him for literal years, that he would overachieve in response? not related to the autism thing i just have the teru bug. also don't be misogynistic in my notes both his parents suck we just get a singular mention of his mom)

so if teru couldn't meaningfully have friends before mob, that could very easily be because of his past mindset, right?

...except, we don't.. really... see him make other friends afterwards.

but, the awakening lab, right?

(ok i lied to you sorry there is one anime screenshot and thats because it stood out to me while i rewatched it earlier this month. sorry.) id like to bring attention to this screenshot during the cultural festival because the awakening lab can definitely be seen as a direct contradiction of this and i'd like to point out a couple things:

1) in this scene the shiratori brothers are in another room 2) them and the other three are friends with ritsu (or at least close enough acquaintances to want to see him).

considering this is one of the only times they appear together for Fun i am more inclined to believe this is an encounter where they went together because they all would've gone separately anyway. this isn't to discount the possible bond that these characters might have, but thats the thing. we... aren't really shown that they're friends and enjoy spending time together outside of this screenshot, where two out of six of the members are not even present. not to mention that teru is still placing himself in a role separate from his peers. despite stripping the superiority away, teru is still the awakening lab's mentor, not friend. teru still views himself as fundamentally different in a context where his psychic powers don't make him that way.

...except with mob. i bring this placement of power up because where he is the awakening lab's mentor, teru declares mob to be his rival, or, in other words, teru is just like him. he is accepting that mob and him are the same. (and if we view mob from an autistic lens... so on and so forth)

as if to hammer in that point even further-- in the summer vacation omake, teru explicitly states that "summer break is just a super long, super boring stretch of alone time." i'm not sure of the timeline here, but guessing from the hair, we're at least post season 1. which gives us explicit confirmation here that teru is spending the break alone despite his relationship to the awakening lab. his connection to mob is a lifeline here because mob is one of the only people who can intuitively understand teru's isolation without judgment

(also, on that point of teru's autistic tendencies: teru does and says a LOT of things that would raise other peoples eyebrows and doesn't seem to notice.

here we get teru actively admitting to his home life, right in front of reigen, WHO COULD CALL CHILD SERVICES ON HIM? this genuinely made me rethink this character entirely. teru's filter is... minimal. he isn't constantly volunteering information and generally minds his own business, but if you ask? Well.

teru is a social person, but to say he is proficient in understanding social situations seems... wrong. teru views his loneliness as boring because, despite being fairly open, does not actually allow himself to think about his own feelings and how they affect him. this loneliness is boring because he doesn't have enough of a reference to realize its not

if we are taking pre-mob teru to be a version of himself who is masking, or at the very least someone who is faking a lot of stuff in a less autistic sense, the fight with mob changes teru to the point where he no longer hides himself. in the same way that mob was able to shake teru's fragile superiority complex i think the change in appearance marks the end of the self teru had built up. from this point on we see him become a lot more... Him. his appearance and his fashion choices are, presumably, completely normal to him and we get no indication that he believes otherwise despite the reactions it gets-- which is... well, i wouldn't be writing this post if i thought it was one of his most neurotypical traits.

in fact, he seems... pretty oblivious to what other people think of him. which is an interesting distinction to make considering the intelligence we Know he possesses (which is not to say that you are unintelligent if you don't pick up on social cues, just that its common for media to depict it that way.) these traits are made pointedly, even if unintentionally, separate, ESPECIALLY when you note the amount of characters who Do ruminate on or stare at teru's appearance.

some examples. i don't even think this is all of it-- case in point.)

[yukishirostar]

So people are talking about a post in the Zolu tag by a certain tumblr user in regards to their issues with Zolu as a ship. They shall be unnamed because i dont wish to bring attention to them and instead just want to focus on their arguments because they're not the first people to make some of these points and so this is also an opportunity for me to talk about these things (a tweet is going around on Twitter containing these screenshots with the username so you can find it there if you need to anyway).

The way this person dismisses the relationship between Zoro and Luffy as a result of needing to pair gay Zoro with someone is too laughable, they must be very fit in order to be able to do these mental gymnastics. I believe that many people who are going on about the Zolu scenes in the OPLA were already Zolu shippers who were familiar with the original story and are enjoying the moments because they were well, really good Zolu moments? And there is actually, shockingly, many good Zolu moments in the original story too which is why many people ship them. Wild, I know.

Then there's 'straight-washed Sanji'. Equally if not more of a bizarre thing to believe. I might make some people mad especially the Sanji stans out there who constantly insist on the 'repressed queer' narrative with his character, but Sanji is written pretty explicitly to be seen as a cisgender and heterosexual character. The way you say with your whole chest that Luffy is 'canonically' aroace but don't acknowledge that Sanji is 'canonically' cishet is beyond hypocritical. If you believe Sanji looking like a 'misogynistic straight man' is different from the way he is written in canon then maybe you should go back and reread/rewatch series with your eyes open this time. If you wish to headcanon him with the frankly offensive repressed bisexual/transgender cliché then go ahead, but that is clearly not the intention Oda has with his character.

There's also the fact that aroace people can uh. Be in relationships. Get married. Have children. Did it occur to you that many people who ship Zolu ship them as an ace couple or-

First thing I want to say here, as a trans man who is 'mlm', can other dudes stop with this idea that women or fem-aligned individuals enjoying homosexual relationships between two men is inherently fetishising or that as a masc-aligned individual your enjoyment of a ship is morally superior in some way. Stop pulling out your 'mlm/ transmasc / cis gay' card in order to justify why your ship is superior. Its cringe af.

But if we are to insist that 'cishet female gaze fetishising mlm' is going on then ironically Zosan fits that the better than any ship in the fandom. It being by far the most popular mlm ship means there is likely a higher proportion of people who identify as cishet women who ship it. Its also the classic 'two men who dislike/hate eachother and have a toxic relationship but hot sexual tension' slash/yaoi stereotype. Majority of Zosan I've come across is depicting Zoro as the masculine male man in the relationship while Sanji the effeminate twink that Sanji stans project themselves onto and they go crazy for the bickering that is apparently reminiscent to them of a toxic heterosexual marriage. Meanwhile every Zolu/Luzo shipper I've interacted with has been some flavour of queer and Zolu is closest to the 'falling in love with your same sex bestie' narrative that the majority if not every non-heterosexual person has experienced at least once in their lifetime. This is just my personal view of course, but I think noting a difference in perspective on this topic is interesting and reveals that at the end of the day this is totally subjective and based purely on anecdotes.

Also it's just a very weird point here that apparently OP has 'plenty of varied queer rep' (it actually doesn't have that many canonical queer characters in relation to its cast size but anyway) and other media doesn't so shipping aroace characters in gay relationships is valid in those but not in One Piece … HUH???? So you're saying if One Piece had 'less' queer rep, then Zolu would be fine to ship? Idek my brain hurts.

"I have black friends so I'll speak for the black community and get offended for them" (btw this person then proceeded to block aroace people who had issues with their depiction of aroace people).

Also if we're talking canonical depictions, the only thing Zoro has been canonically depicted as is also aroace, equally if not moreso than Luffy. So by your own rules, you can't ship a cishet (sanji) with an aroace (zoro), therefore Zosan is now invalid. Stop erasing Zoro's aroace identity bigot.

'Categorically wrong' makes me laugh. I don't ship Zoro and Nami but like, people can ship what they want to??

'The general public is aware enough of gay people and how to spot them these days' uh... firstly this sounds very homophobic. Secondly the general public (cishet ppl) are famously bad at recognising queerness even when its in flashing lights before them. Thirdly you make it sound like Zoro was going around on roller skates and booty shorts listening to YMCA and Madonna in the show. I do agree he was gay-coded but it was mostly because he had sexual tension with every man he interacted with, not for the strange reasons you pointed out...

Its kinda the elephant in the room too but like. These are just headcanons. You can have multiple headcanons and interpretations of a character's sexuality. I can see Zoro as aroace virgin one day and a gay h*e the next. I'm actually allowed, legally, to do that.

The way they think shipping Zolu is harmful to aroace representation when BOTH characters are closest to being canonically aroace than anything yet ship Zosan, label being anti-Zolu as some kind of pro-ace activism, and then proceeded to block aroace people for criticising their incorrect depiction of what being aroace is...

This was a lot of words to say that you don't like a ship. Just say you don't like it, and it gets in the way of the ship you like, instead of writing a virtue signalling essay to justify your reasoning. Please.

They had some more to say on future posts I'll just pick my favourite bits

They really have this narrative that Zolu is only popular because of OPLA and can't fathom that its just a popular ship in general and always has been huh. And they couldn't make it more obvious that they're totally salty about it ranking in the top 100 most popular tumblr ships, lmao.

Your classic case of 'self-identifying ally who speaks over the people they are supposed allies of'. Its a general rule that you feel the need to declare yourself an ally you're probably not an ally, actual allies know they need to just shut up and do the work. Saying 'this character's aroace' and 'I have aroace friends' actually isn't what allyship is, thats just accepting that ace people exist which is like... the baseline.

Calling a wholesome loving ship like Zolu an icky ship is a severe consequence of online brain (this person is 26 years old btw)

[archer3-13]

I dont think there's ever actually any confirmation on what Rasa [fourth kazekages] relationship was like with his other children, cause thinking on it i dont remember any commentary from the other sand siblings on what their relationship was like with their dad.

certainly they don't seem too aggrieved that hes gone, but at the same time thats because originally the fourth kazekages death was a complete afterthought. relevant only in the sense it was an out from further suna konoha conflict, and by the time the sand siblings showed up again other things were more important/relevant to the story. when rasa showed up as an edo tensai could have presented that opportunity of learning what those relations were like, but rasa showing up again is solely for the gaara therapy hours so he can get some closure. in that moment rasa might as well not have had any other children and gaara might as well not have had any other siblings.

not that i think rasa being a shit dad to his other kids is unreasonable fanon [cause that is technically what it is with the main story being reluctant to comment any which way], as interesting as I find the man he is much like chiyo a cock, cause everyone in suna projects as much asshole energy outwards as possible. and his handling of gaara as a human being was deplorable, even if it also highlights the very real and unaddressed problems of the shinobi world and its values where human individuality, liberty and rights are sacrificed in the name of village prosperity and nation statehood [as opposed to just him being a cock].

but by that same token, I think all thats really confirmed about how he treated the other sand siblings is that he kept gaara forcibly separated from them. and if you separate gaara from the fandom woobification of him and think about it from the perspective of a military nation states leader it makes sense to keep your dangerous ticking timebomb unstable murder weapon away from the easily breakable children that represent the villages chances of future success. I'd almost call it good parenting even [bar that gaara is also his kid] to keep the children away from the unstable murder weapon that keeps accidentally maiming anyone it gets close to.

but i think a lot of that is kinda irrelevant to the actual discussion fandom seems interested in on this matter, because I don't think most people headcannon rasa as a bad father to temari and kankuro based on the patterns of his characters behaviour. I think most people do it out of this idea of "sand sibling solidarity". gaara's the baby woobie of the naruto fandom [its most widely accepted one anyways], and the sand sibling dynamic is a popular one. so its cathartic to blame any of their earlier problems/dysfunction and distaste for gaara on the big ol mean rasa/fourth kazekage.

and I think thats entirely too lame, cause it turns the sand siblings and their dynamic into temari and kankuro being gaaras generic yes men. a problem that does kinda intrinsically infect the original work mind, given that after the chunin exams the sand siblings disappear up until the sasuke retrieval missions ending at which point they're all suddenly buddy buddy with each other. but thats something that was a consequence of time and narrative flow, keeping the story focused and all. but fanfiction offers the opportunity to flesh these things out, and theres some real interesting ground in how the sand siblings transition from being completely fucking terrified [for fairly understandable and reasonable reasons] of gaara to being his pillars of support as kazekage following the [partial] failure of konoha crush. reducing it to rasa being the evil bad man who kept them separated when they actually wanted to be gaaras friends all along, is such a waste though.

anyways, feel free to crucify me now for being mean about the writing around the sand siblings.

[remusawoooo]

came across a very lame and obviously unoriginal anti-w0lfstar post that was written to uplift pr0ngsf0ot claiming canon plausibility as the reason. (honestly, pr0ngsf0ot is compelling by itself idk this new surge of remus/w0lfstar hate but wtv- they are fictional so you do you ig)

*censoring cause i dont want this post to clog up shipper space, its not for that.

this is a rant post so feel free to skip but know that none of this is ever directed to my lovely mutuals. i am usually the type to block and move if you genuinely annoy me (which you all dont <3)

so, a hot take: Sirius is really not as obsessed with James as you all make it out to be, in canon.

is that his best friend? absolutely

did he love him very much? duh

was he devoted or wanted to dedicate his life to James? that's where you lose me icl

if anything James was more interested in entertaining sirius, in the one prominent memory we see of them. there is enough context clues and testimonies to conclude that they were very close. and this is what interested me to ship and explore their dynamic (not a post to say you can only ship with canon hints. im just talking within the topic of my rant lol). there is only one person sirius shows utmost devotion to and that's Harry. that's his godSON, his heir and honestly his everything post Halloween.

it is entirely surprising to me how definitive sirius // james shippers sound when they claim it would be more or most canon. both r/s and j/s operate on the same level of delusion and are informed by canon. yes, I think there is a great possibility in canon that sirius was into james- i love the appeal of pining and even heartbreak if not reciprocated. (I also accept this pining and heartbreak in remus//james if anyone is into that wink wink) similarly, I think that remus and sirius could be romantic starting anywhere in the timeline. a boyish sweet love or secret longing and heartbreak or coming together in their tragedy as adults. endless possibilities, it seems, for all of them.

Anyway, back to the point of this post. its insane to me when w0lfstar in particular gets pushback with emphasis on canon like there isn't chemistry and history between them right on the pages. its not a magnified reading. its there. in their dialogue, their physicality and its Harry clocking all of this. these are two alive and kicking characters in the books that shippers read. idek how many times this has to be said. people genuinely believed this relationship would lead to queer representation in the book, explicit or implied. people did not have hindsight, believed jkr to be a better person lmao. you don't have to accept this reading but you also cannot be so narrow that you refuse to see this reading as a valid experience for other people.

once again, you don't have to ship w0lfstar. at all. maybe the popularity and general hype is the annoying part. there are many reasons to not engage with new age w0lfstar shippers btw. but god this "stanning fictional characters" or hating one immensely for the benefit of another, unironically, is so corny. giving stan twt like what imaginary competition is happening?

another thing that ticks me off is the notion that w0lfstar are not close at all. yeah, i do complex magic to help out people i don't really like for the hell of it as well. ik there will be some justification to those who want to prove their point by any means. "sirius is smart so he wanted to do advanced magic" "he actually did it for james" or wtv else comes up. idk how to tell you that marauders are friends first of all. yes, james and sirius are closer but there is no hierarchy with remus. he is not as close obviously, but he is also on the edges by all of their character designs. sirius, in his recounts, never talks of remus as someone below him or largely excluded, just as someone who was conforming, compliant and the "good boy". it is also quite clear in their communication that they were good friends. james first befriended the quiet kid cause he liked him, supported him financially because that is his good friend. he did not act out of pity. that is a great disservice to his character as well.

this is my personal take/opinion. sirius would obviously mention his relationship with james to harry and not remus' and his friendship. i don't think remus and sirius were secretly closer btw, but it is a bit odd that w0lfstar shippers are expected to write james as the #1 priority for sirius when they are not the focus?(this is a very small group of people btw, miniscule in fact. i'm just ranting to rant, not a larger problem) ig my first hot take comes down to this too. you can interpreted the text as you want and that is okay. you can read sirius as obsessed with james but it is not canon. so to dunk on other shippers when they don't share the sentiment is?? mind you, i am well aware of w0lfstar shippers sidelining or flanderizing james in their interpretations and have ranted about that too many times not that that's relevant here. just pointed out in case anyone misinterprets lol

ship anything man idc but saying w0lfstar has no canon support or to insinuate that w0lfstar shippers are shipper pilled (this made me laugh, what are you doing at the coven meeting friend?) is a bit ?? my point, if there is any, hypocrites piss me off or maybe its the lack of self-awareness? how to interpret the dynamics, character reactions in au, canon divergence, fiction is really all up to you. you can honestly remove remus and replace him with gilderoy lockhart in the marauders for all i care, its fictional. but you can't bring up canon and say something blatantly false to rag on shippers of a ship you don't like. that's just silly now. extremely condescending as well.

[oh-my-bindery]

The fic manacled has me very curious in the I really want to open Pandora box in a morbid way. But at the same time I don't want to read it do to several reasons. Mainly is that I hate Harry being depicted as a irredeemable jerk in fics. Because Harry is one of my favorite characters. Hes my baby, hes what got me to love harry potter and to keep reading it. The second is I can't get into Dramione. I have respect for the shippers and wish I could get into the ship because God do their fandom and works looks so incredible. But I can't get into it because Draco is so very gay to me as a character and Hermione to me would never be interested in Draco romantically to me. Like ever. I'm not a fan of Rominone, but I can't see Dramione working out either. Drarry just hits more for me. It works. They are like soulmates to me. I can picture Harry with someone else but not Draco. At least not completely happy. Like to me Harry is Draco's soulmate.

All I know about this fic I learned against my will, but also have a Drarry friend that told me about it I shall put her message from me telling me all about how bad it is:

“Is it basically a re-telling of the handmaid's tale if you know? There is A LOT of r*pe in it (so let me indulge you against your will with the knowledge I have acquired against my will), so harry dies, muggleborns are kinda kept as slaves and hermione is one of them, draco is her r*pist and also the person who (at first at least) assault her, she is r//ped MANY times, like a lot. (which is why i find it gross that i've seen people saying those scenes are hot?) and there's also later on hermione saying draco is "not a monster" (even if he's her r*pist because "he didn't want to do it"), oh i also think it ends with ginny killing voldemort and not even draco or hermione which is odd? Hermione is also made to carry his child(ren) which i also assume she got pregnant against her will, and then draco take her to a remote island in japan where no one can find them and they "live happily ever after" (aka she's r*ped, forced to carry her r*pists children, develop some sort of stockholm syndrome and then forced to live with her r*pist and child on an isolated island???)”

And what she said about reactions of Dram*one shippers of that cursed Manac*ed fic:

“but if you ask a dram*one they will not say that, they will try and twist it about how it's about war and finding yourself and how to survive etc etc (also seen many people say "you'll like it when you get to book three" like?? if I need to read THREE books to like a story, it's not a good story?)”

And this:

“i lost the message but i saw you say somewhere "dram*ones just hate harry" and YES! senlinyu is known for being a harry hater (i also dislike her but that's another story), she basically thinks harry is this "oh noooo we must all be friends! we can't hurt anyway that's not good!" type of person (obvioulsy never read the books), hence why she either kills him off or dont have him in fics at all”

She also said this about what Dram*one writers do:

“i've heard people say that! Either as writers to deal with their own trauma via writing, or readers reading said fics! Dram*ones are just... retelling stories but make it dram*one lmao (like so many popular fics seem to have plots taken form existing media)”

And another wise thing she has said:

“speking of senlinyu, one thing I hate about not only dram*one fans but senlinyu and her cult following, is that insert they all use where it says senlinyuhas over "15 million downloads online" (and me being a dram*one hater did the math), like first of all we all know (apparently not) that you can't SEE downloads on ao3, there is literally no way too see how many people have downloaded you fic.

Second of all, girl show to use "hits" and not "kudos" which is way more accurate, but if she went with kudos there would only be a couple thousans and I guess she want those big numbers, like even adding AAALL her fics kudos isn't even near a million, hits on the other hand? that's so easily obtained but no one dare to question annything and when asked it's "i just found it on her website" “

So overall, I fully agree with my online friend there. I have blocked Dram*one from every platform I could lol. I stay in my Drarry bubble.

I will never indulge in the cursed fandom. Like, Draco is gay. Harry is amazing. Draco is also an amazing character by himself. They are so intertwined with each others lives and there is so much lore and things to build up on and create a beautiful and meaningful story for both. I especially love them healing together but not losing their core personalities and their bickering and how complicated their relationship is. I love it. The only two people who could understand one another in my opinion. Like in a deeper sense + THE INTENSITY OF THEIR FEELINGS. DAAMN.

[sonknuxadow]

To the “knuckles is a very popular character” post you made, and as a pretty long-term Sonic fan and Knuckles enjoyer. Given the recent popularity of the series I think it’s really split. I feel like Knuckles recent popularity largely is due to the movies. Before then I just remember it being like… constant mourning? “Knuckles used to be great!” “Knuckles is flanderized and useless now” that sort of thing. But even before then, say, around Generations’ release Knuckles did use to have appreciation around his appearances in the classic media, Sonic Adventures and Sonic X. I feel like he’s a decently well-liked character that’s seen a shift re-focusing on, but generally I feel as if he’s otherwise underrated and low priority in the overall scheme of the fandom. Do bear in mind I’m pretty rusty as a returning fan, and uhh I still need to read the comics to have any statement on that front.

YEAH the thing about how knuckles is a well liked character but isnt a high priority in the fandom is basically what i was trying to say. everyone likes knuckles but it feels like hes always getting pushed to the side anyway compared to other popular characters. like despite being a main character when it comes to fandom stuff it feels like knuckles is stuck as that one side character whos always there but isnt really Doing anything . you know. not as in nobody cares about him just that he doesnt get talked about or made the center of fan content anywhere near as often as other characters do. which nobody has to make knuckles content if they dont want to its not a crime to prefer other characters its just kind of a shame with how cool and interesting he is

also regarding the comics. in terms of more recent stuff knuckles is definitely underutilized in idw sonic. not that there isnt some good stuff in there involving him it just feels like he barely shows up. there have been multiple instances in the main series of knuckles being in a couple issues and then a real life year or two passes before we see him again . (except for maybe some side comics here and there that have him in them but sometimes we dont even get that). which i feel is fine for more supporting characters but for a main character its like . come onnn . i mean i kinda get it hes supposed to be on angel island all the time but stilll i miss knucklessssss

[captainportgasdace]

Hi!!

What is your opinion about the rumors of Xolo Mariduena being Ace? Do you think he would be a good fit? Do you like the idea? If not, is there someone else you would have in mind? I know Lucas Amorim is another popular actor people want as Ace. Honestly, I saw Lucas Amorims audition videos...and I feel so bad to say that I DO NOT see him as our Firefist....at all. I feel bad beucase it looks like he put in a ton of work, but he isnt Ace. With Xolo, when I first saw the fancasting awhile back I though *mmm...okay, I dont love it but its not the worst....* then he started growing on me. Then I got to the point where I heard ANOTHER rumor and at that point changed to *Okay you know what? If it is Xolo, I wouldnt be mad* which then became *WAIT, I would actually be really happy if it is him!* after seeing Inaki Godo visit the Cobra Kai set. I like how he approahced it earlier whn asked if he WOULD want to be part of One Piece. He said *I would love to, but at the same time, it has to be right. I have to audition, just like anybody else.* I think Xolo would be really good as Ace, but I want to know your opinion!!!!!! Also, I am so sorry, I have been kind of spamming your blog in the past day (first my song comments now this).

OMG First of all you aren’t spamming, it makes me very happy to see you popping on my blog 🥹❤️ NEVER EVER BE SHY OKAY?

For your question, I am actually VERY GLAD you asked me. First thing, I’m a huge fan of Cobra Kai and Miguel is my favorite character AND because of Miguel I became a big fan of Xolo Maridueña. When I first saw the rumours I was like OH. I love Xolo but I can’t imagine him as Ace? So I rewatched the seasons of Cobra Kai to focus only on Xolo’s performance and…you know what? I KIND OF STARTED TO IMAGINE IT AND LIKED IT? I was just smiling the whole time AHAHAHA massive fangirl yeah erm well, anyway!

And then, I saw Lucas and…something felt off about him to me? I don’t want to be mean like dude is trying but I just can’t imagine our baby Ace like that? 😭 ALSO, one thing I didn’t liked is during the actors strike, I heard that he was still pushing to get Ace’s role instead of supporting the actors and I was like umm…ACE WOULD NEVER 😤 And the more I was watching his posts I’m like dude stop…and then I went back to Xolo and I was smiling like an idiot imagining him as Ace AHAHAHA Like…I’m already a Xolo Maridueña fangirl and I already support his career (and stalk his instagram, yeah!) and all so…YEAH I think I would love Xolo as Ace! 🥹❤️

He can fight, he’s cute, he’s a great actor, I love his face (AHAHAHA) so yeah, he got my vote and support! AND I MEAN, my expectations for OPLA Ace are HELLA HIGH, I was always saying to my boyfriend: NOT A SINGLE HUMAN ON EARTH CAN BE HIM HE’S TOO PERFECT so if I would accept Xolo, please be honoured, Xolo 😂

And seeing the videos of him with Iñaki just made my heart melt down 😭❤️

[wildflowerteas]

JUST SAW YOUR TSP PLAYLISTS COULD YOU GO THROUGH SOME OF THE SONGS AND EXPLAINED WHY YOU ADDED THEM 🤭🤭🤭

of course!!!!!! this is a bit of a Pandora's box of an answer, so I'm going to keep it going below the cut so that it doesn't drag on and on on the dash

Embarrassingly, I didn't think people would actually look at the playlist. So it's really a jumble of songs that I can mindlessly listen to while I write and battle caffeine addiction. I'm considering re-vamping it to be more vibes-based, but that'll take a bit of work. So as of right now, a lot of the songs on the RC playlist are there purely for their sound rather than the lyrics. It's hard to get in the mood of this fic while listening to my usual tunes ( some would debate me on that, but try writing while Van Halen is blasting in your ears vs. while you're on the road ). However, there are some that have been added for more symbolic/plot-based reasons. *OBVIOUSLY, THERE ARE SPOILERS UP TO 22 UNDER HERE SO DON'T READ ON IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE THOSE* Here are some of the stand-outs:

Lust for Life, by Lana del Rey ft. the Weeknd for these lyrics specifically: - Cause we're the masters of our own fate - Keepin' me hot / Like July forever - They say only the good die young / that just ain't right The instrumental version of this song is on my YouTube writing playlist ( because I can't find it on Spotify). It's just gorgeous. I put it at the beginning of the playlist because to me, it represents the end of the fic.

Remember Why You Fell in Love by Natalie Madigan - introduced to me by a friend. I fell in love with it because of this lyric: We were adding up sins in the city of angels

Western Nights by Ethel Cain - Trouble's always gonna find you baby / but so will I - To me, a very TSP Dazai song. Trouble's not finding him, though. He's attracted to it, and despite how hard he tries or what opportunity he's given he always comes back to what hurts him. - Also, a song about heading West, which Dazai tries to avoid by globe-trotting in 22 but he ends up in the same place anyway.

Havana by Camila Cabello - STARTED OUT AS A JOKE. However, while I was watching the music video while on call with a friend I realized, well yeah this could be something. - Lyrically, it has little to do with the story, however the feeling of wanting to go back to a place you've never been to, or to a time you've never been to, resonated with me

Serial Killer by Lana del Rey ( unreleased ) - do I even have to explain this one

The Greatest by Lana del Rey - to me, another epilogue-esque song. - We didn't know that we had it all / Nobody warns you before the fall

Summertime Sadness - basically nothing good happens in summer. to any of the characters. - Dazai's birthday, him losing Oda and Ango in the first interlude chapter happens the summer of '56 - RC murder happens July 17th, 1958 - The case gets reopened in SUMMER. But lyrics-wise: 'Kiss me hard before you go' was on my mind from the very moment I started writing this fic.

The RC playlist is not refined at all. It really is just a dump ( like Dazai's shipping container conditions, really ), however the TSP SSKK playlist DB is definitely more in-line with what I want to deliver story/reading-experience wise. Obviously, some songs are there just because they're from the right decade, but many aren't.

Popular, by The Weeknd ft. Playboi Carti and Madonna - I apologize for just how much of the weeknd there is in both of these playlists, but: - I've seen the devil down sunset - Give her a little taste, runnin' back to me / Put it in her veins, pray her soul to keep <- i haven't exactly been subtle about the use of addiction as a metaphor in this fic. Hell, Florida!!! by taylor swift is in the RC playlist ( and specifically, a TSP!Atsushi song ) because it describes escapism. This song goes in the TSP!SSKK playlist because it introduces L.A. from a surface-level point of view, and what their biases of Chuuya are before starting to investigate the case seriously

Moon by the Cab is . . . self-indulgent. that's all I'll say about that.

Cheri Cheri Lady by Modern Talking - 'to know you is to love you' - ALSO a very trippy soundscape. I had it, and quite a bit of Donna Summers on while writing the Tycheron mind-meld scene.

Disturbia ( originally by Rhianna ) covered by the Cab in Punk goes Pop. - you're in the city of wonder - Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered / So if you must falter, be wise Just, a classic song for Atsushi and The AR's relationship in this fic.

Roman Holiday by Halsey, which is kind of a reference to one of my favorite movies ( Roman Holiday starring Audrey Hepburn ), is just such a good coming-of-age song.

Every Breaking Wave by U2 - Baby every dog on the street / Knows that we're in love with defeat.

All that to say, I think I'm going to have to do some serious reconstruction on both playlists in order to feel satisfied with them. the RC playlist is kind of out of my hands now ( as evidenced by my influx of Spotify followers . . . hello everyone ), but I think I can get away with organizing it and stuff with little effort.

[rouge-fauna]

It is really sad honestly, and I've had similar things happen to myself too with many many friendship falling outs. Both cc discduo believe the other has manipulated, been dishonest and faked their friendship. Dream has understandable valid reasons to believe this, tommy seems to believe it due to influence from his fans and friends and because he misinterpreted Dreams dms to him as manipulative because the dms are emotional. And in general many people tend to see emotional = manipulative. Like how people view "am i annoying you" msgs as manipulative. I do not at all believe that their entire friendship was a lie, and I dont believe they were never close and were just coworkers, based on their past intereactions and based on how upset Dream is, he clearly cared otherwise he wouldnt be sending those messages and getting upset on stream about it. People think he's obsessed with tommy for saying tommy has a good heart, but this is how you speak about an ex-friend, its not obsessive. Its sad. On top of that all the shit dream has had to cop with and tommy only making it worse. That said, I don't think tommy faked the friendship because tommy did defend dream a lot post-allegations from his own friends and fans, and checked up on him regularly but I do think its fucked now that tommy is acting like this , playing victim, feeding into his fanbases bs. Its clear to me that tommy genuinely thinks dream wronged him, but at the same time tommy is doing this to get more popularity. Another thing is when dream said that if it werent for the fanbases, then he and tommy might have been okay, I completely agree with that too, I've noticed since the start that the fandom has constantly torn into discduos friendship, analyizing every little detail to the point where it was straining their dynamic. Anyway...

those stats for prison arc damnn I had no idea ctommy did allthat, and the fact he killed the cat. I get why you would not watch exile arc rn, I've had to stop my whole dsmp rewatch plans cause of this, might return to it in 4 months

[context]

I’m not so sure if it was the fandom that turned Tommy against Dream or perhaps Tommy grew up and realized he needed to stand up for himself. Do I think Dream is this big evil manipulator? No, I think whatever Dream did he wasn’t aware of how he was coming across - like Tubbo talked about in his stream about how the majority of the content creators thought he was taking credit for their success when that wasn’t true. But just because someone doesn’t mean to hurt someone or come across a certain way doesn’t mean that they didn’t and that the other person’s feelings are invalid. Additionally, I think you can be hurt by something in retrospect without that other person being a shit person or whatever. For example, in retrospect after my first kiss I realized how uncomfortable and such I felt and how I felt violated afterwards, but here’s the thing, that doesn’t make the guy who kissed me a bad guy. He asked for consent and I gave it, in the moment I didn’t know what I was feeling till afterwards and afterwards I felt violated and manipulated into it. But I still don’t think he really meant to do that or that he is this shitty terrible guy, just because I feel this way after the fact. You can feel things even if they don’t make sense. So I think perhaps Tommy does feel a certain way in his retrospect and as he gets older feels like Dream wronged him and stuff, but the things is feelings don’t make something true. Feelings are always valid yes- but they are not truth. In fact, in the theme of comparing c! to cc!s, I think this is one of c!Tommy’s big character flaws. That he turns his feelings into truth. He felt like no one visited him in exile therefore no one visited him. Which obviously isn’t true. So perhaps this is a flaw within cc!Tommy too that he mistakes emotions for truth so because he feels wronged by Dream that makes Dream a wrong’un. Which is a very scuffed way to view things especially when you take your younger self’s view at face value. Because here’s the thing, when you are younger you have such limited experiences to look and view the world and you often make connections and opinions and observations you take into adulthood based on this limited experience. So perhaps Tommy was hurt by Dream but that doesn’t make Dream bad, clearly he was just being a good friend and helping him….

Yea I was pretty surprised. Like that’s only the things we see too, who knows how much theoretical stuff happened in those other weeks of them being stuck together. Like we literally see Tommy hit Dream more times on stream than we do Quackity. And Quackity is supposed to be the torturer, mind you of course, Quackity was hitting Dream with swords and shears and lots of it happened off camera, still… I found that interesting…

[starsaparilla]

you said you wanted asks so i must ask

1) do you have a courier oc? like, an actual character.

2) thoughts about christine and veronica (and Christine staying in Sierra Madre)?

3) what's one character you wish had been a companion but wasn't? and why and how would their quests go idk im shy despite asking on anon 😔💔

1) yes!! i have a couple.. i make new ones depending on the run i’m doing or the faction im siding with etc but for my current playthrough (neutral karma independent vegas) i have cherry!! she’s super cool… i like her lots. nepo baby that wants to run vegas herself as a way to get back at her family for disowning her (long story) + learns about love and friendship and kindness and also backstabbing along the way! i can’t draw so i mostly make pinterest boards for characters but yeah… i love my ocs. trying to flesh out the rest of her family at the minute too bc they were (to me) pretty prominent figures in the wasteland until around 50 or so years before the events of new vegas!!

2) christine and veronica are so dear to me!!! canon lesbians in a video game… i do wish they didn’t fall into the trappings of gays with unhappy endings but yk. 2010 so i suppose it was par for the course. as for christine staying in the sierra madre i have mixed feelings- ultimately i like it narratively, i think christine becoming a guardian is very fitting. the sierra madre houses vera keyes, a woman who had her life derailed and destroyed by the greed, cruelty, rivalry and jealousy of two men. in a similar vein, christine royce had her own life- and her love- uprooted and snuffe out by a cruel and greedy man too. it makes poetic sense to me that christine would stay to guard the sierra madre. christine/vera parallels are so srs to me and i would definitely go into way more detail at another point but im trying to keep this concise because you didn’t ask to be blasted with my dead money brainrot. anyway also i find it oddly beautiful that a place with such a dark past can perhaps become a safe haven like it should always have been now that christine is there. my one issue is that there’s no option to inform veronica of where christine is or anything but i know this was due to technical limitations and nothing else so i don’t harp on the devs too much for this.

3) benny maybe… i think doing an independent run with benny as the companion makes soooo much sense and i do think an ending where you both take vegas is super fun. but i have the benny companion mod so i don’t think he counts as an answer here for me personally. in terms of what would be best for gameplay id say a legion companion would be interesting as while i dont play legion nor do i like them, i think its a shame they’re underdeveloped. victor as a companion could be rlly fun! good for a house run and id love a securitron companion anyway :) id also love to port ulysses to the main game as a companion 💔💔💔 and then obvious popular answer sunny smiles my angel <3

i forgot to add quests!!! god actually i’m gonna have to think abt this one but i think for benny an interesting quest would be anything to do with the boot riders… will nvr forgive the lack of backstory we get for him in the game. legion companion could potentially involve visiting old settlements and learning about their history? it would be interesting for a legion companion to be someone disheartened with the legion’s methods, kind of like veronica (BUT NOT LIKE VERONICA) , and you can ultimately talk them into leaving (good karma) or convince them to stay with you and the legion (bad karma). i’m not sure on specifics for victor but given that he’s a cowboy likely inspired by old world western movies it could be so fun to have a quest that follows the plot of some famous western movie… big dramatic shootout at high noon. fun times. ulysses i’m split on bc i think it’s entirely contingent on how you interact with him in lonesome road and which faction you’re aligned with as there’s a lotttt of ways he can feel about you due to all of these factors that might make creating one Definitive companion quest hard. as for sunny idk. something that lets us go back to goodsprings ^_^ very last minute but i also think a great khan companion would be nice mostly bc i like the khans and the narrative is so awful to them

[desire-mona]

dead poets society chars but i assign them random things ive seen happen on the internet / random videos or posts i remember (not based on anything it is genuinely at random):

neil - tony crynight's fnaf animation series which i dont entirely remember the plot of but i'll try to describe. so basically its fake mangle lore to say that mangle is the way they are (all broken and shit) because Mangle kissed Foxy and Chica got jealous so she took a Machete to Mangle to Mangled them. and then the gang tries to save mangle or whatever

todd - fluffle puff, someones pink fluffy mlp oc who was in lesbians with chrysalis (i think thats her name, i never watched mlp). mosy notably known for the animation to pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows. also the creator is a pedophile i think

charlie - sorrow tv and his entire existence. sorrow tv was a youtuber who made videos reading out reddit videos in silly voices. there was a whole posse of youtubers who did this, and he was the most popular just bc his voice acting was rly good. i still watch him every couple months even tho he hasnt posted since 2021.

cameron - does bruno mars is gay? i think about cameron man door hand hook car door every day, so i obviously need to point to my third favourite silly trying to be serious sentence. most ppl know this from game grumps but im not linking a game grumps video on here. rumour come out!

knox - venturiantale, the youtube channel usually consisting of 4? siblings playing gmod together usually. the channel itself was ran by this guy named jordan i think? and his siblings has their own channels. i knew them best for their fnaf gmod videos and their fanmail videos. turns out they were all very christian? and the whole family was abusive and way deep into said christianity if i remember correctly, one of the siblings who left first made a video on it. the venturiantale channel hasnt posted in like 2 yrs and the slow death was kinda sad to see bc he (jordan) blamed it all on The Algorithm.

meeks - that one nagito komaeda kinnie back in Whenever it was cutting off their finger to. i guess prove that they were a nagito kinnie frfr? if u dont know danganronpa lore then nagito gets his hand cut off and replaced with junko enoshima's hand because sheeeee got... executed? i wont lie i dont remember this part of the games story sorry. but essentially that one person was like I Gotta Do That........ anyway im jk the audio was faked and nothing actually happened + the person is fine LAWL

pitts - the key of awesome's parody of tiktok by kesha called glitter puke. theres no lore to this the key of awesome is / was ? a silly little song parody channel. this video was made in 2010 and it kinda shows in some moments but other than that it holds up. just checked and the key of awesome is Not still going, it ended 6 years ago and the last video was actually rly good and genuine

keating - onma island is buried a treasure chest. ok so basically mr beast made a video talking abt a private island and he buried. a treasure chest for a viewer to find. during the video he said "on my island is buried a treasure chest" but it sounded like "onma" which this one youtuber (pinely) found rly funny. it became an inside joke with his friends (one of whom got a tattoo) which then became a lowkey meme. mr beast even tweeted it so. good lord thats a lot of links sorry there isnt a know your meme page or anything

chris - i dont have any links for this one sorry, im just gonna tell the story and u have to believe me when i say i swear it happened (its very a believable fandom story im sure you will). so back when the genshin impact was still in its fairly early days (late 2020-early 2021) the phrase "hear me out" to refer to characters n stuff started becoming popular I THINK at the same time. so people in the genshin fandom were like hear me out with increasingly more heinous shit. started with characters, then npcs, then enemies, then bosses, then weapons, the stamina bar at one point, etc. a lot of these were jokes or straight up bait but back then (maybe now too - i havent been part of the genshin fandom for a LONG time) people took bait far more often than they didnt. so it became a "genshin fandom bad" gotcha to point out That One stamina bar post.

ginny - $300 junko enoshima wig! sorry for double dipping with danganronpa it was just the first fandom i actually started like. on purpose noting fandom happenings with + a lot of shit happens in that fandom. this one cosplayer who at the time was called snowthesaltqueen / badguyincorporated started selling pre-made (and styled) junko enoshima cosplay wigs for $300. which WOULD be fair (i think? idk how cosplay commissions work) if said wig was styled well or quality at all, but what was ACTUALLY provided was a rly basic wig base and few clips with no note or no nothing, and rly flat. like on purpose. like that was "the styling". also you may recognise this cosplayer for 1) getting in trouble when they did a cosplay photoshoot (danganronpa cosplay funnily enough) in a graveyard, posing ON a gravestone. 2) KILLING SOMEONE. they were screwing around with a firearm and fake pointing it at someone and then they accidentally shot them.

i could do this forever like actually. i have SO many internet stories in my brain its actually bad.

[sunscreenstudies]

Iconic Things My Coding Professors Have Said (Part 12)

"real data is always messier than data you get in textbooks, but thats true about real life and fiction books too"

Prof: "does any group want to go first? no? anyone?"    Student: "we dont care"   Prof: "oh... okay… does any group care?"

"this is very common, uh, draco and harry slash fiction. does anyone know what the slash means? no? really? that’s alright, i bet you do but i won't embarass you by making anyone say it, so i'll say it instead. Draco and harry have a lot of gay sex... that's not something i ever thought i'd say as a professor to a room full of students in a professional, academic environment, but this is where we are"

"This model requried a lot of input from a lot of people, and, as you probably know, people suck"

"but for what? i mean i know that they want to make a lot of money, and they don't really care who's exploited to make a profit, but i doubt they want to destroy the world… not yet, anyway"

"we asked for ages for this company to make their book open source but they always kept refusing us… and now they're not around anymore. But no hard feelings"

"of course, if you say you're investing time in something, you're not literally investing anything material. Humans understand this, but stupid computers do not"

Prof: "Wait, why is marie kondo listed as fiction?"   Student: "so's the bible"   Prof: "oh boy, let's not get into THAT"

"I absolutely adore this book, so if you're expecting any sort of objectivity from me… uh, yeah, you're not gonna get it"

"i won't be able to explain it in five mintues, but if you do ever have some time… probably not until after this entire masters course, but if you do ever have some time-"

"one character who dramatically loses popularity in fanfiction, is, of course, hagrid, which is probably because he isn't suitable for a sexual encounter with another character, gay or otherwise"

"journalist texts use registers other than those used in text messages or emails or even letters, if you remember what those are, or snapchats or instabooks-"

"As for the others, we expect you to actually collaborate with each other - and yes, i know, we're computer scientists so that sounds horrible, but just deal with it"

Prof1: "how many of you have reviewed a book online? One? Two? Two people. Anyone else?"   Prof2: "I wrote a few fake reviews online for my own books, if that counts"

"For this evaluation we need to use humans, and as you know, humans are what? Yes! Too expensive. Not that I've tried to buy one of course - they seem like far too much trouble, to be honest"

"It's only advantage is that it doesn't need human intervention, such as annotation, and thats good because annotation sucks, as we all know. It’s quite similar to people in that way"

Prof: "This book only became popular because the author was a celebrity, so thats why i think this book is there"   Student: "but what about ‘Great Expectations’? by Charles Dickens?"   Prof: "well… i mean he's not an internet celebrity"

"you can see that the centrality of harry has dropped but draco has increased, because in fanfiction, draco is a very common character because of, obviously, the afformented gay sex"

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14