#i dont think anyone is going to literally do a campaign against us and our comic & try to get everyone to hate us. its not that serious

[fefairys]

this happens to me like once every few hours lately

[namorlei]

2024 republican platform

YES, THIS IS IN FACT THE OFFICIAL 2024 RNC GOP PLATFORM, LIKE WHAT THEY HAVE ON THEIR PDF...

look at this shit, an actual child wrote this what the fuck. lets go over this one after the other shall we

1: "SEAL THE BORDER, AND STOP THE MIGRANT INVASION"

they want to stop central and south american refugees and migrants from coming to america through mexico/ the carribean. who would have thought that the country which was founded on, and has only and will continue to only grow because of immigration would be so against people coming into the country. i wont go into too much detail but its just ridiculous

2: "CARRY OUT THE LARGEST DEPORTATION OPERATION IN AMERICAN HISTORY"

nazi shit, straight up nazi shit. what they mean by that is deporting anyone without citizenship. its just evil. thats tens of millions of people right there

3: "END INFLATION, AND MAKE AMERICA AFFORDABLE AGAIN"

inflation is already ended? its at 3% which is a normal amount for a country. and for that affordable part, raising wages is what will make america affordable. which republicans have shown time and time again they are against doing

4: "MAKE AMERICA THE DOMINANT ENERGY PRODUCER IN THE WORLD, BY FAR!"

odd punctuation aside, this one is like... okay? i mean that would require much investment into green energy and nuclear energy which the fossil fuel lobbying republicans dont want but theres nothing inherently wrong with that ig

5: "STOP OUTSOURCING, AND TURN THE UNITED STATES INTO A MANUFACTURING SUPERPOWER"

the trump campaign outsourced production of biker shirts to an offshore copany bc they knew that republicans would be unwilling to pay that much more for specialized trump clothing. but i mean yeah outsourcing is bad but also im not an isolationist so idk

6: "LARGE TAX CUTS FOR WORKERS, AND NO TAX ON TIPS!"

how do these people think the government gets funded... tariffs? this isnt 1790 anymore you need more than just that to run a government and bureaucracy as large as the united states. but yeah this one is whatever

7: "DEFEND OUR CONSTITUTION, OUR BILL OF RIGHTS, AND OUR FUNDAMENTAL FREEDOMS, INCLUDING FREEDOM OF SPEECH, FREEDOM OF RELIGION, AND THE RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS"

from who? the constitution is already there... all the amendments are already encoded into law...? but yeah the only threat to the constitution is the republicans. reminder, it is now legally mandated you have to put the 10 commandments up in school classrooms in louisiana. also project 2025 literally goes against the 10th amendment in every way but... whatever ig

8: "PREVENT WORLD WAR THREE, RESTORE PEACE IN EUROPE AND IN THE MIDDLE EAST, AND BUILD A GREAT IRON DOME MISSILE DEFENSE SHIELD OVER OUR ENTIRE COUNTRY -- ALL MADE IN AMERICA"

.... no words. this is such an arrogant mindset its insane from top to bottom. yeah lets just bring peace to the middle east bc that worked so well before hasnt it. also yes lets just bring peace to europe, im sure putin is deeply concerned what america has to say on this and yknow... less on the actual battlefield

the "great iron dome missile defense shield" is the icing on the cake. pure gold. sounds like some shit a child would say. we have THAAD, use real terminology ffs

also not to play devils advocate bc i like taiwan but, if you want to avoid ww3 wouldnt that mean not going to war over taiwan? like if thats what it takes to avoid ww3 than that would be what you would do... right? again i like taiwan but im just using their logic

9: "END THE WEAPONIZATION OF GOVERNMENT AGAINST THE AMERICAN PEOPLE"

saying this while also saying you want to deport tens of millions of people using the government as your method of doing so is deeply ironic, tho ig it makes sense considering the republicans dont see those being deported as human

also this means they're gonna defund the police... erm based department? not actually ofc just having a bit of fun.

10: "STOP THE MIGRANT CRIME EPIDEMIC, DEMOLISH THE FOREIGN DRUG CARTELS, CRUSH GANG VIOLENCE, AND LOCK UP VIOLENT OFFENDERS"

there is no migrant crime epidemic btw. migrants per capita commit less crimes than american citizens. also for the other stuff its just useless key jingling. it doesnt mean anything its just saying shit

11: "REBUILD OUR CITIES, INCLUDING WASHINGTON DC, MAKING THEM SAFE, CLEAN, AND BEAUTIFUL AGAIN."

when they say this they are speaking through the mouth of car and gas companies, more roads! more cars! also why dc specifically? dc is literally one of the nicest cities in the country why tf you signaling it out specifically? dont you think other cities could use it a bit more like detroit, chicago, san francisco, portland, new orleans, jacksonville, etc..?

12: "STRENGTHEN AND MODERNIZE OUR MILITARY, MAKING IT, WITHOUT QUESTION, THE STRONGEST AND MOST POWERFUL IN THE WORLD"

more key jingling, it already is the strongest. next question

13: "KEEP THE U.S. DOLLAR AS THE WORLD’S RESERVE CURRENCY"

no comment idk that much abt economics

14: "FIGHT FOR AND PROTECT SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE WITH NO CUTS, INCLUDING NO CHANGES TO THE RETIREMENT AGE"

tell your republican senators that before preaching to the choir. republicans constantly vote against these social spendings

15: "CANCEL THE ELECTRIC VEHICLE MANDATE AND CUT COSTLY AND BURDENSOME REGULATIONS"

like i said earlier, thats the car and oil companies speaking. cars cost us so much money every year that just banning them altogether would save us so much money in the long run. ofc i wouldnt ever advocate for a complete ban, america is too big for that, but even just more restrictions on cars in and around cities and the construction actual public transit would help so much

16: "CUT FEDERAL FUNDING FOR ANY SCHOOL PUSHING CRITICAL RACE THEORY, RADICAL GENDER IDEOLOGY, AND OTHER INAPPROPRIATE RACIAL, SEXUAL, OR POLITICAL CONTENT ON OUR CHILDREN"

yawn im getting tired of this. so much for muh freedom of speech right? why are you tryna stop kids from learning stuff? what are you some kind of authoritarian (yes)

i dont have to explain why this is bad, this is fucking tumblr we all know why its bad

17: "KEEP MEN OUT OF WOMEN’S SPORTS"

my favorite i love being singled out as a target of discrimination. joyous. not that i am big into sports anyway but still. its incredible how much they're leaning into the transphobia angle when its been proven before this isnt a winning electoral position? like 70% of americans just do not care... why tf they making such a big deal about it. oh wait! culture war bullshit why of course

i shouldnt have to say what they mean by 'men' here but i will anyway, they're referring to trans women obviously

18: "DEPORT PRO-HAMAS RADICALS AND MAKE OUR COLLEGE CAMPUSES SAFE AND PATRIOTIC AGAIN"

so much for freedom of speech huh... i could have sworn they were just yelling about that a few bullet points ago. im not pro hamas in any sense from an ideological standpoint however i would be considered a hamas supporter because that just means in opposition to israel committing genocide.

19: "SECURE OUR ELECTIONS, INCLUDING SAME DAY VOTING, VOTER IDENTIFICATION, PAPER BALLOTS, AND PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP"

this topic is long and very complicated, far too much to condense into a few sentences but know this, they are saying this so that poor and older people as well as immigrants cant vote. thats all its about

20: "UNITE OUR COUNTRY BY BRINGING IT TO NEW AND RECORD LEVELS OF SUCCESS"

more key jingling, its meaningless.

this whole republican platform document reads like a twitter user wrote it its embarrassing that these are the people most likely to win the election. again i cant get into too much here because this is already way too long but the fact that we're even at this point is just insane to me

[skelffricat]

Good grief, Charlie Brown.

I’ve never owned an electric toothbrush. I’ve never had a dishwasher. I am the dishwasher. I like washing dishes. I never bought an iron. I don’t have a hairdryer. I find it strange that I get advertised these reusable alternatives for things that I never use anyway. Alternatives to cling film. I put another plate over the dish. Alternatives to cotton buds. I use my finger. (Ew, you may say, but surely a finger’s that size to fit in ears and nostrils? Or whatever orifice you please. Wash your hawnds.) Alternatives to cotton wool circles. What? I dont know why these thoughts have come into my head, when I want to write about my youngest child. Really, I’m meant to be working, but an annoying email from my dead daughter’s school sent me down a suicide rabbithole. Perhaps those other thoughts come about as my classic brain avoidance schemes. Like when you hoover instead of doing an essay. Positive procrastination, I used to call it. I wanted to visit some friends last night- a fun thing! but I was feeling all solitary and awkward. I cleaned the bathroom ceiling at first, instead! I had to really talk myself into going to see them. I was looking at my bed and it was saying, “Get into me! and read your book!”

Then I went, and I had a lovely time, of course. I still finished the book I was reading, when I got home at midnight, until three am, making myself ever so tired. I’ve stopped taking the tablets- beta blockers and mirtazapine (more by accident rather than design. They’re still up in the chemist waiting for me. I’m rather disorganised) and so sleep doesn’t come as readily. I have to take deep breaths for ages sometimes, to get over. And I awake in the night hearing things that aren’t there. I heard The Woodcarver calling me, one night, plain and loud as day. Another time, I heard my son knocking my door three times, sharply (or was it a burglar? I said that to someone and they laughed. Burglars don’t knock! Oh, hello there, wake up, I’m robbing you blind!) Bounced out of bed. Heart hammering. Called him. He was fast asleep. Was it her ghost? I don’t believe in ghosts, really. Kind of wish I did. She’d be a mischievous one, no doubt. Is it always 5:57am, when I awake? The same time. Time to find your dead child. 

I’m often in the house alone, now. They didn’t want to leave me alone, and there were so many people in the house, for ages. Then all of a sudden, it stopped. And I changed lovers... I changed to the one I’d been in love with for over a year, the one who seemed too young, the one who wasn’t interested. Suddenly he was interested. Well. It wasn’t sudden. It took a few weeks. Seven weeks? The seven week itch? It coincided with when the Scottish lover asked me to stop letting other people come to the house. He wanted me to himself. Which is kind of fair enough, though I knew it wouldn’t last anyway. (People coming to my house, I mean, not the relationship. I really enjoyed having a relationship with him. He is very sweet, funny, intelligent, and kind. The sex was great. He can cook wonderful food and play guitar well. I liked to sing with him. I am ashamed to say I was bothered by his being smaller than me, though. His face tended to itch me, too- he never quite grew a beard long enough to stop that. As he kept shaving it off, not because he couldn’t. That was the first time he kind of annoyed me, though.)

Lockdown doesn’t help, of course. We were all breaking rules in our grief. Covid is cancelled, my mother said. Masks off. Hugs all round. A friend told me you need extra oxytocin when you’re grieving. I was getting plenty of it. Good grief... 

Now I am frequently alone, and as my new lover is very busy studying (or perhaps less interested in me again now that he has my attention back? Though his reticence in getting with me stemmed from his concerns about the uneven nature of our interest in each other...) I haven’t seen him all week. I feel myself becoming depressed, and withdrawn, and paranoid, yet I still don't feel particularly sad about my daughter’s death. Which is strange. Isn’t it? Here is the email I received from her school this morning (it had her name and class at the top of the email): 

“Good morning

I hope this email finds you all well.

A number of years ago I signed the college up to the campaign against period poverty. I receive and distribute sanitary products to girls, primarily on free school meals, but any who are in need of the products and either can’t afford them or it is difficult to get them. The products are normally distributed by myself, during P.E and games, unfortunately this can’t happen at present.

These products are still available during the school closure. If you wish to avail of them, please contact our school info account (which is only read by one member of office staff) your request will be directed to me and I will contact you directly regarding collection.

These are difficult times for many at present and to quote my favourite supermarket, ‘every little helps’.

Kind regards...”

I was really with her until she quoted Tesco. And said they were her favourite!! Ugh! I mean, it really is a great idea. Though they really should check if the people they are writing about are still capable of bleeding. My heart bleeds....

I replied thus:

“Hello there.

Great idea, but as (my youngest daughter) has died, she won't be needing them any more. I hate Tesco- they ruin many little businesses.

Maybe take me off this mailing list?”

Then I attached one of her seven suicide notes: the one for school. Which I had previously not shown them. I only found it on Christmas Eve. Can I attach it, here? It has no names... 

There we are. Is it wrong of me to find her notes amusing? She is so angry, people say. I wonder how much of it is literal, and how much of it is using the school as a big nameless scapegoat. She was funny in the rest of them, too, and very loving. I found them comforting, like a fucked up Christmas present.

Then I started reading articles about suicide, and they were about how we shouldn’t call the people who do it selfish, about how depressed they are, how they need pity, not anger. I’m tired of the pity (though I’m not the suicidal one). I’m not producing enough sadness from myself when people pity me, either. Where is my sadness? Am I too acceptant of it all? We are all going to die. Is suicide like a C-section? Is it cheating death, like I thought my Caesareans cheated birth? Is suicide self euthanasia? Why do I not miss my daughter more? Is it because she had already left? Was she released, happy, free as a bird, swooping away on an Awfully Big Adventure? Trapezing her way into the æther? I googled to see if I could find any positive reactions to suicide. Is this my nature, to try and find the good in everything? To try and make light of the horrific? Is everything a joke to me? 

I found this blog post, from Andreas Moser.

I love it. Am I trying to take the blame away from myself? The NHS? The school? Should I be reeling and railing against the systems that let my daughter get into that state? Why am I instead trying to find ways to applaud her behaviour, accept it, even enjoy it?! When I read his words, “I admire their courage (because logical as it may be, it’s not easy) and the determination to make the ultimate decision in life oneself.” I felt a strange sensation of relief, that someone else could think those things. I had been thinking them, but trying not to, because it seemed like such an awful thing to think. But then I think, why does anyone else have to be to blame? It was her decision. 

The book I was rereading is called Life After Life, by Kate Atkinson. It’s my favourite book, I have decided, for now. Do favourites stay favourites? I was looking at my old Couchsurfing Profile today (because of Andreas’ blog- he, as a hippy hermit, is, of course, on Couchsurfing). One needs to update these every so often. Explain that you have watched another film in the last twenty years, that there is one less sofa in your living room, one less child on your earth. Even though no-one is allowed to move around, really. No visiting. No exploring. Perhaps she killed herself to escape the boredom. 

In Life After Life, the main character, Ursula, lives again and again. (I forgot that to live again and again, she had to die again and again. It's a very sad and graphic book, spanning two wars- read it. It is, ultimately, uplifting.) I wanted to read it again to make my daughter live again, and again. We need to write her alive. Show her drawings and paintings. Listen to her songs (they're hilarious). Read her poems. Admire her photographs. Tell the stories of her antics.

I know that really she was actually depressed and withdrawn. I know it isn’t a glorious escape. That her wee head was broken, and that sometimes it’s just easier to say, it was unfixable, she was determined, this is what she wanted, than to contemplate it as my (or anyone else��s) failure to help her. I know that she used to be confident and gregarious. She would have danced in front of people, inspiring others. She was always upside-down, tumbling, twirling, cartwheeling. She had a dry, cheeky wit, and rather an amusing obsession with poo and wee. She was kind, and wise. She liked to bake vegan treats. She could draw, and paint, and sing so beautifully. She played the ukelele, but by then she was hiding away. She had started to write poems- songs? She wouldn’t show us them. We had to beg her to perform on the trapeze for her Granny’s eightieth, in July. She did so, beautifully, but you could tell she hated the attention. Four months later, she hanged herself on it. 

Had we all withdrawn into ourselves, this 2020? Was there really nothing else to do? Yet I remember the start of Lockdown seeming idyllic. All that free time, all that sunshine. Was I just trying to convince myself, as usual? The only people we saw were the Woodcarver and the neighbours. She taught the wee boy next door to ride his unicycle. When she died, he brought in a picture he had drawn, of them on their unicycles, she as an angel above herself, a rainbow arcing over the three figures. His sadness affected me. I felt like I could only be sad through other people. Where is my sadness? Where is my grief? Good grief, bad grief, no grief? Alternatives to grief.

[atheism-populism-egalitarianism]

What about the Bernie supporters that literally voted for trump? What about the Bernie bros that are ok with Bernie not giving a fuck about women being sexually harassed and underpaid on his campaign? What about the Bernie supporters who literally believed every headline that came from a Russian bot that could have been proven wrong with one google search? Bernie could never answer how he planned on doing anything and he didn’t care about women, whose issues were distractions. That’s why he lost

1. 1 in 10. That's 10%. That's how many Bernie supporters voted for Trump. And do you want to know why? On the campaign trail, Bernie was populist. He appealed to the left, the center, and the right wing. Many of his supporters were right wingers (let's keep in mind most people dont actually know what side of the fence they're on, they've just kind of picked/been assigned a team and have fought for it/voted with it mindlessly. Yes, most Americans are like that, at least they used to be. People are so much more involved now, but that's a discussion for a different post). Trump was also going around talking about populism, but his populism was fake, he has kept none of his populist promises (such as protecting Medicare and Social Security, protecting jobs, and lowering drug prices). So the right wing and some center supporters decided to just go with the Republican nominee because at least Trump wanted to shake the system. You werent against Trump because of what he was saying (besides the offensive shit, you ignored his actual policies and shit) and so you simply cannot understand why. I didnt vote trump, I abstained that cycle. Yeah. I did. Die mad about it.

2. "Bernie doesnt care about sexual harassment!" that's literally bullshit. That was a smear campaign run by corporate mainstream media after a few woman came forward to talk about it. Bernie wasn't aware of it, he didn't actively ignore it, he just wasn't aware. The victims themselves didn't blame Bernie, it was just the media twisting it to fit a narrative that was a lie. He apologized, states he hadn't been aware of it but will do his best to make sure it doesn't happen again. How is that not giving a fuck?

3. Bruh, the 'Russian bot' shit was literally just groups of shit posters and spammers that were based in Russia but didn't actually have ties to the government. You're thinking of Trump supporters who believe shit without googling it. Bernie supporters are actually the biggest advocates of using google. I see it all the time in the groups and discussions I take part in. We use sources. Why don't you be specific in what was "false" because I always google my shit. That's why I'm always right. So yeah, come off anon and give me some specifics.

4. Bernie literally is the ONLY one who can explain how he's gonna do shit. He has entire websites dedicated to it. He wrote an entire in depth comprehensive Medicare For All bill. Even back then the solution was simple. "Tax the rich. Create social safety nets with those taxes. End corporate money in our political system." You just never fucking listened.

Bernie knows what the fuck he's doing.

5. He lost because the DNC was working as an arm of the Hillary Campaign, debate moderators would sneak questions to Hillary before the debate, and the DNC made it incredibly difficult for people to register to vote in their elections and also made it difficult for independents to vote in their election. The mainstream media favored Clinton and ignored Bernie as much as they could unless they had something negative to say. And he still won over 39% of the votes and 46% of the delegates. He was cheated and worked against at every level and he still went farther than anyone of his standing since the likes of FDR.

[mellz117]

Hello and welcome to the start of Mellz Plays Kingdom Hearts Re:CoM on the Playstation 2; Riku’s campaign

If you haven’t seen my thoughts on Sora’s story, why not start with Part 1? For the 5 of you who’ve been following along since then, welcome back! Check out the rest under the read more! I’m playing on standard difficulty so if I’m having a hard time, I just suck.

So we, as Riku wake up in the basement of Castle Oblivion. How did he get there? Sora just waltzed in like it was no big deal. Riku has to materialize in a cold basement and be woken up by the disembodied voice of an all too familiar bastard… Who has a new voice.

Thanks for the card, voice of Ansem, “Seeker of Darkness”. That ain’t him. It’s been almost 10 years and I don’t remember much of this game but I know that new Richard Epcar voice ain’t Ansem.

Riku’s got no time to waste, he’s a man on a mission.

So we get a melancholy scene with Riku happening upon the room Maleficent gave him during his association with her in the first game. Memories he’d rather forget.

After progressing a bit, the disembodied voice returns once again to taunt Riku. “You cast aside your home, your friends, the darkness. What else do you have? Nothing. Your heart is as empty as your old room.”

It’s so weird playing as Riku but I hope we get more of that beyond KH3 (ReMind hasn’t released at the time of writing this)

Alot of this game so far has been me saying “I don’t remember this”… …So I don’t remember Riku’s level up system being this different to Sora’s.

…well that’s bullshit. I vaguely remember that. The fact that I can’t even edit the order my cards appear to me in battle is even more bullshit. I like to organize my cards by type and value until I’m forced to use a different method.

So I dont have to wait for the reload gauge to count down, it’s immediate and I dont lose a card on every reload like I thought I remembered… What’s the catch? I don’t trust like that.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

We meet up with Maleficent at the end of the map. She’s 100% aware she’s a figment of Riku’s memory. Riku is none too pleased to see her.

I love his sass

Riku’s ready to kick the asses of everyone corrupted by darkness, including his own, he says. Time for a dragon fight because otherwise Maleficent isn’t a threat apparently lmao. I don’t think the mcguffen card even showed up.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Oh look it’s that asshole. Or is it? Dun dun dunnnnn. God his lips look soft. Why was this necessary???

So who has dominion over this castle? Marluxia, or Ansem?

This fucker is like “Sonny, you couldn’t even win against Sora. You don’t stand a chance against me”.

You have a teenager lying on the ground... Please reword your demands.

Oh my god it’s Mickey Mouse! well… sort of. He’s a bright light. Gives Riku some nice words to keep him going.

Knowing what I know now about the Guardian heartless bro, everything is so much worse…

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Ooh first scene with the boys in the dark room. “Don’t I even warrant a hello, Lexaeus?” I don’t remember seeing this as funny before but now, like 10 years later I appreciate how funny it truly is. Zexion sounds so insulted.. Lexaeus is a man of few words. Then Vexen shows up and he’s getting right down to business. Zexion’s like “Nice to see you too. We all used to be so close, what happened?”

Vexen’s all offended about that and gets pissy about “rank this, rank that, ooh I’m number 4, you shrimpy child.” as if your number indicated rank. Xigbar is the 2nd member but Xemnas’s 2nd in command is Saix (from my understanding) so sit your ass down, Vex.

So Zexion’s special talent? He smells people.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Riku smells people too?. Oh ok he can smell the darkness in his skin. Take a shower! …When was the last time he even got the opportunity?

Mickey appears before him and tells him some words of encouragement. He’s transparent because he can’t fully manifest in the castle right now. So where’s the other 50% opacity hanging out at?

“We shook hands in our hearts” omg… 

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Let’s go to Neverland first yay. I did a team attack with Mickey. I remember that!

Imagine being in Riku’s stupid, dumb, giant, anime boy shoes… addressing a giant, bipedal mouse as “Your Majesty”……….. Actually my sister and I used to do that back in the day when we both were obsessed with the series. Regardless of context we’d call him “King Mickey”. It makes me cringe thinking back on it.

Oh I was gonna try to challenge myself to avoid using the dark power but I guess I dont have a choice but to use it. Might as well put points into it if that’s the case.

uses Key to Beginnings, is immediately thrown into a battle with Captain Hook oh I guess we’re not focusing on any events in these worlds they’re literally just to pad out Riku’s story. Riku is officially less Disney than Sora.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

How does Zexy know who Riku is? “Riku is here because Sora is here”. Vex that makes zero sense. What else is new?

Agrabah. Uneventful. Riku is not good at hitting small targets. Had a hell of a time fighting Jafar, or rather beating Iago to a pulp, in comparison to playing as Sora.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Next scene, and immediately like NO breath between the fade in and the scene itself, Vexen appears. And in even less time after he appears, “I take it you’re Riku?” This mofo has no time to waste. He’s a busy man.

Riku’s already tired of his bullshit and is ready to FIGHT. Same, Riku. Same.

I had him stun locked during most of this battle.

I JUST LOVE RIKU’S COMPLETE LACK OF FUCKS GIVEN HE’LL BEAT VEXEN’S SHIELD WITH HIS FISTS AND POMMEL

Vexen is a fucking twerp. And seems alot more crazy, mad scientist-y when interacting with Riku than Sora. Emphasis on “mad”. He cray

Why do they hang out in the dark? I mean, why no lamps? All I can imagine is them hanging out and barely able to actually see each other. The only way anyone knows who’s there is because Zexion can smell people, everyone else just assumes Lexaeus is there, Vexen won’t shut up about something something science, and Axel likes to hear himself talk.

Fat boi

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Zexion and Lexaeus are talking about what’s going on,  I’m still not sure what they’re doing here. Like, do they want Sora for the Organization? But Marluxia wants Sora as his personal puppet? What about Roxas? Isn’t he like, in a coma or something? Just kill Sora, Roxas will wake up, and SOMEONE’S got a Keyblade wielder again. Lex says Vexen hates Marluxia and things with the replica could turn out disastrously because of it. What IS Vexen’s beef with Marly?

Ok I know it’s to pad out a second campaign but why does Riku go to SORA’S memory worlds? Unless Riku stalked him throughout the entirety of KH1, or had so visit them for darkness missions, and those are his memories as well? Idk, it doesn’t have to be explicitly stated

Oh no Riku, it’s you.

So at this point he’s aware hes a copy? Does he forget later? With Namine’s meddling? How does Vexen create a living, breathing entity out of battle data? Like, where did the body come from? Did he have it on standby for a while until the right moment?

“You’re afraid of the dark” Repliku states.. Lmao yeah, Riku- he still sleeps with a night light. Don’t tell Sora.

Repliku is like, a worse Riku as far as personality goes. The punk-ass bitch Riku from KH1 but worse. Repliku is quick to ditch the double pants with suspenders and ankle belts for a muscle suit and grass skirt. I’m not sure which one’s worse.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! I got two level ups out of that!

I high key love Repliku’s laugh here when Riku tries to attacks him again RIGHT AFTER THEIR FIGHT. It’s adorable, hilarious, and creepy. GG David Gallagher! Check out that video if you want. [video]

Dutch angles make everything more dramatic. Unofficial rule no. 1 of cinema. Repliku peaces out and we give chase up another flight of stairs and another cutscene plays. Repliku joins Zexion, Lexaeus, and Vexen in the dark room and they talk about introducing him to Sora.

Riku finds himself alone on the next floor, yelling at empty air. Ansem shows up to taunt Riku again. This dude just doesn’t quit. God forbid he learns no means go the fuck away.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Oh hey we’re in Atlantica! Maybe Riku can wash that darkness smell off his skin. Oh wait the water doesn’t really exist. And hes just a human, not swimming like a mermaid. Give me mer-Riku, you cowards. Twiggy mer-Sora is funny, twiggy mer-Riku with buff arms would be HYSTERICAL. I had a difficult time with Ursula because poor card management and I’m avoiding battles to get this game over with, which kinda shoots me in the foot as I’m not leveling up.

Yeah I was right, he ends up thinking HE’S Riku. I honestly feel bad for the guy… he’s so scared and betrayed. I know I was shit talking him just a bit ago but I need to protect Repliku. [video]

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Give Riku a Halloween Town outfit, you cowards.

This scene between Repliku and Namine is so bittersweet. [video] Just listen to how gentle he talks to Namine. Oh, my heart cannot handle it.

This game makes me so sad. Poor Repliku, poor Namine… Larxene continues to be The Worst. Like, the ABSOLUTE worst. Was Elrena like this?

(I keep getting progressively more and more angry because I can’t upload a video file to this on desktop but I can on mobile, but if I post a video on mobile I can’t edit a read more on desktop. AND I HAVE THREE VIDEOS I WANT TO PUT IN. SO I MADE A BLOG SPECIFICALLY SO I CAN POST THEM THERE AND LINK THEM HERE)

See you in part 2, where I will continue to drag Larxene.

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 19 (Epilogue 4 Page 2)

[eowynluna]

one reason that politics terrifies me as a transwoman

look, at the end of the day, i am going to vote for the best option. and i am just saying that because i know that everyone on this site has the reading compreshension of jared, 19.

the 2020 presidential election currently has more than 23 people running and counting. of those 23, most of them have had a history of dealing a lot of damage to the trans communities. others have supported us just long enough for us to vote for them, and then shoved us under the bus. anothrr group doesnt give a shit about us. out of everyone running, i think that maybe 2 of them would actually put effort into helping the trans community.

but it seems to me that everytime anyone says, "hey, maybe we should put some thought into the primaries just to make sure that we dont have a 46th transphobic president in a row", i see a whole lot of people jumping onto that post saying nonsense like, "if you dont support this raging fucking bigot than trump is going to win".

maybe its just me, but if my only two options are between a rude transphobic dickwad and a slightly more polite transphobic dickwad, then maybe it should be just a *little* understandable why this shit even happens in the first place?

like listen, i dont like clinton. everyone who knows me can tell you that. i mean, the defense of marriage act, dont ask dont tell, etc. would she have been better than trump? she would have certainly had better public relations than trump, thats for sure.

but damn, if its such a big deal to defeat trump, maybe we should nominate someone who people actually fucking like? i know this is a radical idea, but lets imagine if we nominated someone who hasnt campaigned against lgbtqa rights? someone who hasnt supported actual wars that have killed millions? someone who hasnt sniffed womens hair and been weird about it?

like maybe the key to winning an election is for people to actually fucking like you? i mean for fucks sake, trump was the most hated presidential candidate in american history, if the dems had nominated LITERALLY ANYONE other than the second most hated, can you imagine how differently that election would have gone? im not making those figures up by the way.

but ive gotten way off topic. i wanted to talk about why i, a transwoman, am terrified of politics, and instead i seem to have ranted about our broken goddamn "democracy".

the reason im terrified, is because people that i trust keep asking me to put my safety, my rights, and my future on hold for a hypothetical scenario where a (blue!)transphobe would go up against a (red!)transphobe. and they dont even realize what they are asking me to do.

if someone approaches you in an alley, and asks if you want a painful death, or a painless one, what do you think is going to happen? but it seems to me like i keep hearing people i trusted shouting from the fucking sidelines, "YOU SHOULD GO WITH THE PAINLESS DEATH! IF YOU TRY TO DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE, YOU WILL GET THE PAINFULL ONE!".

like damn, obviously. but maybe im fucking done with this bullshit. maybe i would rather be choosing between two different versions of paradise than two different cersions of hell.

at the end of the day, im probably going to vote for my best option. luckily for yall centrists, none of the current third party candidates actually support trans rights either.

but maybe i would be less scared if instead of having to hear, "vote for the most polite monster", we could focus more on "here are ways of improving the world despite where a monster, regardless of whether that monster is red or blue, wins".

maybe if we want to talk about immigrant rights, we could talk about providing refuge, and aid, and just moral support, instead of arguing over who has separated marginally less families.

maybe if we want to talk about poverty, we can talk about handing out food, and supporting homeless encampments, and just helping each other out, instead of arguing over which monster is slightly less greedy.

and guess what! suddenly the monsters arent as big anymore! they will still be there, obviously, but we can survive. and our survival is no longer about begging for our lives every four fucking years. suddenly, our survival is about standing together, hand in hand, and telling the monster, "if you want to them, youll have to go through us."

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 6 | “His best Amanda Kimmel "Go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation” - Liam

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ryrU-tXQbMyAa2Sl_GFiJb61i6qUNY-x/view?usp=sharing

aj went home??!?!?! hello!? JAKE SURVIVED SO THERE IS A GOD

Who feels like shit? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And now I remember why I feuded with Jakey... he literally did what ever he wanted. Which is very inconvenient for the rest of us. I know he put my name down. Granted 3 minutes ago I was sure it was Dan but after briefly snapping at him I put it together. Dan, 7:21 PM Seriously I’m not mad about it ahha I can see how my words were taken. And then I definitely said this afternoon we hadn’t talked and that was why I thought you would be the vote on my end Yeah you were a target before AJ started throwing my name out. I own up to that 100% So now it's time to play voting detective... yaayyyyyyyyyyyy (em llik) This entire vote started off with Jakey and Dan. Dan claims that he didn't bring my name up, but it would be an ass pull for Jakey to come to me with Dan wanting me dead immediately after the immunity challenge and then suddenly manifest it. Jakey immediately comes to me and I immediately come to the Dumb Betches (tm). I want Dan out but it's just not realistic as the other side isn't as comfortable playing with a pure beauty team. Next day we form the Thots R Us alliance and Jakey and Scott plead their case for AJ to leave and we, like idiots, go for it. Dan continues to campaign for me. Devon gets into the mix at some point and tells Dan that AJ is voting for him. Dan changes his vote. Now according to Augusto around this point, Jakey mentioned the possibility of having an extra vote before completely shutting it down. Claiming it to be "unnecessary". I think this sparked the idea to tell AJ about the vote under the guise of "golly gee I don't wanna vote for Dan because honor and stuff so I'm voting for you". I assume it's around then he wrote my name down. Like a bitch. Sorry I'm trying to be less hateful and aggressive but man it's harrdddddddd. My guess is that he wanted a beauty out no matter what and figured he'd have better luck convincing the others to vote for me in a situation where an idol is played. He probably also wanted me and Dan to turn further against each other. Unfortunately for him, I spent all of my impulse control that day on not chewing Dan's head off and I snapped immediately afterwords and so some things were cleared up. It has to be Jakey not just because of all the things lining up and not just because it is in his character but I genuinely can't imagine anyone else doing so. - AJ and Amir are loyal hoes. Plus if one of them did something that absurd, it wouldn't exactly benefit them. It puts strain between our relationships with the other players and honestly I don't know why they'd waste a vote on me when if an idol is played they risk losing a beauty majority. - Devon doesn't seem like he would make any waves and seems to have taken a liking to me. Granted I'm less sure about him then the others but he did put most of the work in convincing Dan not to put my name down. Plus he doesn't seem to have anticipated AJ having an idol. - Scott, to do something like this would have been risky. I'm his primary connection to the beauty alliance, if AJ were to play an idol he would have risked losing an asset. - I truly think Dan isn't lying to me because he genuinely believed if he didn't vote for AJ he'd be fucked. He wasn't comfortable with where the votes lied, to throw a vote towards me would have been pretty dumb and insanely reckless. Jakey is the only person I can think of who would go out so out of his way for something like this. Chaos is more or less his calling card. Plus it would be in his best interest to keep around someone in his majority alliance and get rid of a beauty. And he probably thought that I was a better option considering past history or whatever. :/ So now we have to sacrifice Jakey to the survivor gods not because he wrote my name down but because I can't trust him to keep his shit together and vote with us. We were going to target Dan next and he probably won't be chill with that. He probably would prefer to aim for Devon or One of the beauties. And that well, wouldn't be in my best interest either. In the mean time, I'm just going to sit still and look pretty. 

Ok, I need to make a quick apology. Talking to Autumn and Duncan has been the highlight of my game thus far. Autumn went to the same undergrad as me and Duncan is one of the most genuine guys I've ever met. I feel terrible for ever being doubtful of being on the same tribe as them. Because now I really think I have two more people that I feel I can trust and move with further, which (in the words of the perfect Mrs. Kim Spradlin) means I have options, and I think this can guarantee a spot for me at merge and a really good group to make some moves with that isn't as obvious to people. If we were to go to tribal, I think my target would be Connor which should be an easy vote given his general lack of activity on the tribe thus far, but I'm also not against the prospect of blindsiding Ali as I think there's a chance he has that Apis idol and I'm certain he has a few tricks up his sleeves.

okay soooo i have two LONG video confessionals uploading from the last two days but wow stuff is happening... so first off, the nuThoth tribe voted off... AJ?! which is so unexpected, that shakes up the game completely, like now it means the game is changed... it means the brawn four on this tribe sticking together is a really bad idea, and it just... everything has changed. i'm so so glad jake has survived, which keeps one good ally in on nuThoth. I'm still scared of Augusto/Amir/Kendall/Scott, but hopefully one will go if they go to tribal again? idek but yeah a lot of this will be repeated in my video, but god is a woman. and her name is autumn, i called with autumn for TWO HOURS yesterday and it was a transcendent experience, i literally love her so much. and it was such a good conversation, like i 100% overshared but it was great to kinda link up... i talked to her about adam (more on him later), she filled me in on the brain hot goss and she is of course someone i want to stick with. on this tribe, the two i feel best about are tj and autumn - tj i was SO mean to at the start but i actually get really good energy from him now? i really want to solidify something with him, i definitely want to stick wit him. jordan i think trusts me a lot but for some reason i continue to have anxiety about him (but he is a good shield in a merge situation). i for some reason get really good vibes from connor? i think i would love to talk to him more (will pm him today) - i think connor gives off good vibes and particularly since adam's conspiracy of a beauty illuminati is over i think i could trust him a lot? we haven't spoken much but he has really good ally potential imo. adam is a tricky one. for some reason i do NOT trust him. he is in EVERYONES pms peddling this same narrative and is just doing a lot? i think he is a real slippery player, and i feel like he is a fish who if we release into the ocean of a merge tribe we will never get back? i have such anxiety about him making it far so i'd love for him to go as soon as possible. its tough tho because now that a beauty majority voted off a beauty, i feel like the brawn four on this tribe need to do similar? so maybe i need to vote off liam? its just annoying because i trust liam, and i'd LOVE to get adam out but i dont see the numbers to pull that off. so i feel like we have to vote liam to give ourselves wiggle room as brawn players, but from there idk... because i want adam GONE grrrrrrrrrr its frustrating. hopefully we win this challenge, and the other tribe has another chance to get rid of someone... like the less decisions i have to make the better at this point i take it back jordan is so sweet, he is like a teddy bear... its just whether he is a care bear or lotso from toy story

i cant remember what my last confessional said so im just gonna start with last tribal: aj got voted out ........ of all the false beautys it had to be him the ONE who actually was nice to me and was the whistleblower on that main alliance? when i said it'd ironically beautiful to me to see one of the beautys voted out he was NOT any of the ones i was talking about then we get our next immunity and oh would you look at that... THREE people have to sit out meaning there's gonna surely be another chat with 5 people in it to say lets vote adam out AGAIN.......as soon as i saw this challenge my ptsd immediately was triggered and i was trying SO hard to sound like i wanted to be in one of the things even if i wouldnt have been good at it just so i could rest easy but it didnt really work out, in fact the highlight of the challenge was actually me and duncan and our contribution of sitting on the sidelines looking pretty while they all flopped but bless their hearts at least they tried, so now we're going back to tribal, and again i didnt compete in immunity which apparenly is cause for a target now so ... im HOPING that doesnt happen again, and if it does then i probably deserve to go home! i was kinda just.... not in the mood to talk to anyone much of yesterday or even today just because um.... i didnt want to dfakdfs mostly due to that dumb bitch DeDe Pressión just making me wanna do nothing but lay in bed and torture myself by watching more real survivor but i woke up today in a better mood, the moods they come and they go, much like me i love being elusive so hopefully people just dont think im like such dumb bitch who doesnt wanna talk or whatever, because believe it or not the gorls can be so hateful over you not being able to recite their whole life story back to them at the final triabl! they ripped me to shred my first season because i couldnt tell them so and so had a purple sheep back on the farm in late october 2007 like gorl plea .... so yeah ive been trying to talk to more people today to compensate, not sure where it will go, it did reassure me a bit that liam messaged me like RIGHT after the challenge and began already saying stuff about connor like ooh gorl michael_jackson_i_love_this_song.gif, but i just need to be careful because i dont want to seem like im the one controlling the vote, because odds are im gonna get made to look a fool and ill go home, or be left in the dark, but im gonna try to have slightly more faith in these people and hope they're buying what im selling, because it's pretty good stuff, i just want to feel like im the most expensive iphone in the store you know, like i want to be able to say im building relationships nonetheless and will make people come running to ME with information but who knows. I'm either playing decently and in a good spot right now, or im a fucking delusional schizophrenic so im hoping tribal reveals something like that one way or another. at least if i get voted off i can stop letting this game stress me the HELL out in the middle of a fucking pandemic

When AJ leaves and you can trust your new alliance with the beauties and Jakey https://media.tenor.com/images/b4c2f5c658c1d3ade7e506ee7ffe3c5e/tenor.gif When you win your first tribal immunity challenge of the season https://i.imgur.com/8xzlbRW.gif When you don’t have to see Alyssa and Jess at tribal https://media.giphy.com/media/6nuiJjOOQBBn2/giphy.gif My tribe when I get to go to bed early because I don’t have to stay up stressing about tribal https://media.vanityfair.com/photos/58c16a15208b4945c3920cf0/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/nicole-kidman-seal-clap.gif

Second tribal of the game for me and I am feeling good once again. i see myself in a position where I dont think i am being targeted and I really just have room to grow and form my social relationships. I feel bad for connor cause I think he will be going home barring anything crazy happening. He was someone I wanted to work with going into this game, but ill be honest his social game is just abysmal he needs to talk to people more. I originally thought he was just not talking to me cause he assumed we were good but apparently everone feels like they cant have a convo with him. Its way too early for me to do something crazy and deviate so I think hes gonna be blindsided tonight. Maybe I want to lock down a final 2 with TJ soon im starting to trust him more and more and hopefully he feels the same way. Im pretty confident that were gonna merge at 12 because thats the first time my legacy advantage is coming into play but im not sharing that information, that power is as locked to the chest as can be I will not tell a soul all game about it, thats how you become a fan favourite game changer sierra dawn thomas and I will not be her, married to joe anglim what a thought. Im off focus, either way Ive talked a lot about feeling very rocky in this game so far and feeling like I havent found my footing, but Im getting a foundation built now and once I get going, theirs no stopping me.

Is it seriously only Day 14..? Ugh, this game drags on for so, so long. Tonight is gonna be deja vu of Kvaloya in which I once again send home Connor, hopefully unanimously again. I respond to his fucking messages, and he's doing his best Amanda Kimmel "go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation right now. It's ANNOYING. I can't work with someone who does this!

oh duncan. oh duncan duncan duncan. every single time we play together you underestimate me as a player and it is infuriating? so this time you don't want an alliance with me? that's fine... but don't think i wont find out. i'm literally my blood is boiling that he thinks he can get away with this... grr. but also i love autumn for telling me, it shows me i can trust her and we are gonna go the distance. anyway so i do think connor is going to leave tonight and me freaking out will only make it me instead... so i will go with it. but now im waiting to see what jordan and tj say... and to see if they tell me. i dont think tj will tell me, but i do think jordan BETTER. i'm defending him to autumn, so he owes me plus he says we are a duo so he better JKASLDFAF. so now? i feel like i need to trust adam and stop being so nervous to trust him... he is on the bottom with me and we need to flip this upside DOWN. if me/adam link up, that will be good... because im not down to be stuck on the bottom for more than a vote... being on the bottom is how to go home and that's not my thing

So now that the vote is looming, I think that we have it fully on Connor now. Duncan and I came up with the fake vote of Adam which Connor seemed to take? Although he's asking questions that seem fishy, so let's just hope he buys it. And Duncan and I made an alliance of me, him, Jordan, and Autumn which is perfect to have going into merge. I still need to figure out how best to integrate the two so that they can know Jakey is going to work with us but not enough so that they don't know that me/Jakey/Jordan also have an alliance together. But this is awesome going into the next round, and I'm just praying that we don't see an idol played, because that would be DISASTER!

the way i've called adam shady for days and days and now i trust him one of the most? wow a growth arc. i'm still heated about duncan. he is SOO likable and charismatic, and is someone who is genuinely always just fun to play with? so him being in this gamebot really dry state is so frustrating because ik if he just relaxed and let his natural personality out he would snap?! he is just so fixated on doing well this season that he is getting in his own way (at least imo, but this is coming from mr im not in an alliance so im bitter KJSAFD). so anyway now that duncan is not a viable ally anymore, i need to solidify the other connections... and i think adam and autumn are the move. adam is clearly just desperate for allies and while he is over-eager, i think he is earnest so ill stop being paranoid about him. autumn is just a queen and a goddess so im gonna stick with her too... liam is lovely too... i just want duncan OUTTTTTTTTTTT he will not get away with this, i am the meddling kid(s) who will ruin his plans... will duncan go to the end as the gamebot leader... well... https://gph.is/2dmg9hV

also can i just say i love tj?! like i sent duncan very similar messages about feeling like i've been out of it, and the difference in their responses is remarkable: tj: I think everyone understands that you haven't been 100% the last few days, so I doubt anyone is going to fault you for that. And everyone knows that it's a game, real life does come first. like... sweet, supportive without being patronising? validating duncan: and i don't think things have really kicked off over here yet, i think its going to be an "easy vote" but we'll see what happens duncan.... immediately to game, almost his own conversation... i'm... over it?

well we have tribal in just a few hours, and tonight it's gonna be pretty clear cut in the sense that, ill finally have answers because um it's either gonna be me or connor ive been doing my best to lead this smear campaign against him, only because he made the wrong move by coming for me first and continuing to lie to my face about it so at this point i wish i felt bad but i dont. I could be completely delusional but I do think it's working because people have come to ME first and said they want to vote connor, because of both what i was saying and because he just hasnt been talking to many people besides right after the challenge so like... people can see how transparent that is pls also because MULTIPLE people have approached me first today telling me he plans on voting me out so unless they're specializing in some hardcore reverse psychology...i think i have a shot at it being 7-1 connor but once again i literally could be being made out to be a whole ass goof and not even know. or even worst have got all the numbers on my side but then get idol'ed out fdhaskj both very likely scenarios because things never seem this easy in this game ive been trying my best to get to know people and i feel like im slowly connecting more with some of them, so i guess tonight at tribal will be a test on those relationships because all the people ive been talking to will either, believe me, trust me, and wanna play with me, or theyre gonna listen to connor and vote me out, and honestly if they vote me out over him then i completely deserve to go home because clearly im doing something wrong my biggest fear is im hoping i havent come off too strong trying to play by painting this narrative of the old hathor's and connor being so against me, because while yes obviously i want connor gone for my own reasons, the trick is i dont want people to think im leading a charge against him (even tho i absolutely am) because i dont want that kinda target on me but truly who the fuck knows, i could very well go home but idk. this game is like walking into a serial killer convention and trying to stay alive, that's how i feel like im putting my faith in the hands of killers, it's making a bitch shook so i guess we'll see but in a perfect world..... connor will leave....which may look bad because of old tribe lines, but im really trying to wor any magic i have to where me being the only beauty on this tribe would be beneficial for me to hopefully be sought after by any brawns or brains, but if you ask me old tribe lines are about to be nonexistent. even though there will be 4 brawns next round, ive been trying to connect to some of them in the hopes that theyll ditch any old alliance they have to work with me but only time will tell so um yeah keep me in your thoughts and prayers pls

Not gonna lie, I haven't done much of anything this round but I don't mind it! Sometimes I just wanna be a lazy bitch yknow? But yeah, Thoth FINALLY beat its 0 challenge wins curse and we won immunity which I am thankful for given tribal would've been extremely messy? With the Kendall vote last round (which I think was Jakey or Jakey telling Dan to do so), who knows what would've been the outcome! Yay for safety <3

hiiiii no video because i no longer want to do them. let the record show that i was the 1st to say adam's name, if he goes, i did that. if i go, i did that.  

i didn't make a confessional this round and tribal is about to start! im going to expect connor to go but this would be a shitty last confessional if i go home tonight. I'm hoping to establish trust within this new tribe. Wish me luck! XOXO Gossip Girl. also my dog just ate the cake i left on the counter >.> thats why im late.

I can't give y'all a real confessional right now cause Cagayan has me screaming but I believe Connor is going home 7-1 and I gave the green light to an alliance I plan on turning on whew so see y'all soon

So basically, tribal happened, beauties lost a number unanimously, theres pros and cons to this. Pros: ppl think the idol left, beauty is less threatening, we show loyalty to more people and build relationships. Bad: someone lied. that kendall throw away vote was to ensure a beauty went home in case aj played an idol, and everyone claims it wasnt them, so someone on this tribe has a case of the LIE-ABETES. * anyway, here is Shit I learned today aka dirt on ppl: 🎃Devon - told me that dan was afraid of an all beauties thing 🎃Jakey - told me dan Ali him and Jordan were a majority - told me Ali has the idol - told me Ali is a rat who warned lovelis - called Adam annoying and ugly - said he wants Devon out next - thinks Devon voted kendall 🎃 scott - told me Devon screwed him over and got himself voted out on brains - told me autumn and Duncan are a duo 🎃 Dan - told jakey that he thinks the brains tribe voted kendall to divide beauty and brawn 🎃 kendall - hidden secret alliance with Jakey - hates dan 🎃 augusto - super close with Devon - wants to blindside Jakey - thinks Jakey is the kendall vote 

[scadplaysdnd]

a reflection

aka “holy fuck mom its been a year”

just warning yall now this is about to get hugely personal and if you’d rather not see insight of the worse sides of me or what’s been going on behind the scenes then i fully understand not reading this. i wont be offended. this is kind of as much for myself as it is anyone else.

so there have been a couple times in my life where ive had to look at myself and go “if i dont reach out for help of some kind, something really bad is going to happen”. around this time last year was one of those times. i was three credits shy of getting my degree and the last thing i needed to do was an internship, which would have started around this time and finished up by the end of 2016. i would have finished my education and gotten my degree.

and then i would have died.

id known this fact for a couple months now but as we were reaching two months from the end of the year i had this thought--maybe i should like, not do that??? so i put the internship on hold. i took a semester off on medical leave. while all of this was going on, kelly and erik had come to me asking me if i wanted to play dnd. i said sure, though i was pretty wary. id only ever played dnd once beforehand and it ended really badly--basically my character died and the rest of the party kind of callously left her behind which hurt and sucked.

ANYWAY i came up with the basic concept for tami. i know i wanted to play an orc because it was always weird to me that orcs are like the stereotypical and defacto villains that most parties are pitted against from the very beginning--what must it be like to be one of those people? but i wanted her to also diverge from the typical orc playable character, in that she was going to be quiet, stealthy, dexterous, and “level headed” (in quotes because yknow her emotions are something she’s always struggling with).

basically tami naruto jumping through the trees was always a key character concept from the word go.

but character creation is easy for me. ive been doing it nonstop since i was 10 years old. i also joined a new roleplay group around this same time. creative endeavors are something i can still pursue rather easily even in the throes of the worst mental breakdowns. in fact, its probably the reason ive survived most of them.

and i had no idea how much dnd was going to be that.

by this point, things were getting really bad and we were basically deciding what to do with me. my support network as ill call them (basically my therapists and doctors) were thinking i needed to be admitted into some kind of program and i agreed with them. but they wanted me to go to an inpatient program--essentially either being hospitalized or cut off from everything while i was taught how to yknow. not die.

but i didnt want to be cut off from everything. i wanted to play dnd. it was pretty much the only thing i had going for me at the time, since i wasnt doing any work or school. not to mention most of my irl friends were still in school or just generally busy and it was pretty much the only social thing i had to look forward to.

of course, that wasnt the only thing. in general, i just really didnt like the idea that i wouldnt be able to have a phone or computer for xyz months, quite literally being cut off from everyone and everything, including all of my essential coping mechanisms that have been keeping me alive thus far. but really, i knew that if i left the campaign just as it was starting for what would probably be months, i wouldnt be able to come back. and i didnt want that.

so i put my foot down and we got me enrolled in a local outpatient program. every day for 5 hours, i had to go to group therapy and learn how to Not Die. i had to go completely sober. i had to get drug tests. it was......hard, to say the least. it was scary and frankly humiliating to get to that point where i had to be constantly monitored to make sure i wasnt a danger to myself or others--even more so that it was justified.

every day we’d have to check in, let them know what our level of suicidal ideation was among other things, and i remember for those first few months, it was never none for me. but as long as it was passive, it was alright. in response, we were supposed to take a step back and look for things to live for, and look forward to. every friday we had to write about what we were planning on doing for the weekend.

and every friday i wrote the same thing: dnd.

it was honestly everything i needed during this time. i was going through a pretty rough period of agoraphobia and social anxiety, but once a week every week i got to be social as someone who wasnt myself. my experience with dnd hadnt been much up until that point, but almost none of you guys had played before. i felt almost an obligation to make a character that was somewhat take charge and open, in an effort to coax you guys out for the same. its kind of hard to remember at this point considering where we all are now, but at the beginning there, i know it was rough for a lot of us. i felt like i had to take charge, which was so the opposite of how i was actually living my life at the time.

and it was...nice. tami is much more confident and forthright than i am, and i had to force myself out of a lot of comfort zones to put myself in that place. but as weeks went on, it became easier, both in and out of character. all yall nerds are busy now but back then we were hanging out practically every night and it gave me a chance to not be alone with everything i was going through. unlike with say, the roleplay group, i wasnt just my character--i also got be myself with you guys. i got to rediscover who i was and could be during a time where i really didn’t see myself as anything worthy, let alone anything at all. plus, my connections to others has always been a driving force of me Not Dying and being able to be a part of such a blossoming close group was essential while living at home with little contact to my other friends.

and this went on for months. in that time, through the program, i was able to learn some essential, new coping mechanisms. i discovered some trauma that was affecting me way more than id given it credit for and was able to start working through it in a way that i hadn’t for years. through helping and supporting the others in my group, i was able to do the same for myself.

while all this was going on, i was constantly doodling tami and others in the margins of my notes. i was singing the praises of the group and the campaign to my program, whose members also became somewhat invested in the story and started asking me every week what had happened. it became such a huge part of my identity and every day that soon members of the program began to identify me with the game itself. it played such a huge role in my recovery.

but by march, i had graduated the program. id started up my internship, and was on my way to getting my degree. i got a nepotism job at my dads company, and i was actually leaving my house on a fairly regular basis. i dont want to say that it was all sunshine and rainbows because it wasn’t. i still had some pretty dark periods, and there were times that if you asked for a check in, i wouldnt be able to honestly say that there was no suicidal ideation.

but i kept on. and the only consistent thing throughout all of this was dnd. i started my own campaign on top of all of that, which has been an adventure in and of itself. tami has been through a lot, both through what has happened and general character development. it would be impossible not to after a year, even if it hasn’t been nearly as long in game. 

i thought i had some sort of linear progression to all of this, and this would be the point where i wrap it up all neat and say that im all better and its all because of dnd but that.....isn’t true. its not true in life OR dnd, and i think thats why i like the game so much?? its narrative for sure, but there’s also so much uncertainty and surprise that you don’t get in general writing or roleplay. not everything works out plainly and neatly, with things being completely fucked just by a dice roll. it can be just as messy as life is. which is funny because thats exactly what i used to HATE about the game, and why i didnt want to play in the first place. i didnt want to not have control over the narrative. i didnt want to not have control over MY narrative

but i needed to give up that control if i was ever going to get help. i needed to put my safety, my mental health, my life into other peoples hands. i needed help and i needed connections--and thats kind of what dnd is all about. and in the end, it still might not matter. our characters can still die, the story can still go in a way that not even the dms are prepared for, we might not save the world.

BUT WE ALSO MIGHT!! we’re going to work together and try our best and do everything in our power to fulfill our own quests, help one another, and create a greater good for ourselves and the world around us!!! and its like yeah, im not fully recovered, i dont think full recovery is ever going to really be an option for me, but i can keep going, and i know im always going to have the support of yall and the people who care about me. that means more to me than you could ever know.

and not to be a downer but like...im still going to die, someday. maybe in the ways that i thought, or maybe not. and in the meantime i might not figure out my life plan or get an amazing job or even move out anytime soon. but for once, that thought isnt as paralyzing and world ending as it was this time last year. its okay for things to be uncertain. its okay that things might not work out neatly in the end. and i think dnd played a huge role in helping me come to terms with that.

so remember like four paragraphs ago when i said i was going to start wrapping this up?? lmao for anyone who made it this far, i salute you and thank you. this game has been really important to me but more so its YOU PEOPLE. you guys are just such a wonderful and awesome group of people and its been a privilege taking this journey with you for this last year--and for many more years to come! we’ve been at this for two months in game and who knows where we’ll all be this time next year or the year after or even more after that. i dont know!!!! and thats okay

love yall im gonna go order a pizza now peace  ✌ ✌ ✌ (i have had nothing to drink thanks)

[typhonatemybaby]

I stumbled across this article on twitter the other day and IMO it represents simultaneously the worst and most socially positive elements of what a lot of people think about when they think about scottish independence. Im from Scotland and support independence in the current climate, but for a variety of reasons, some of which are identical to the standard pro-indy platform, some wildly divergent. It starts off well enough, by poking a few holes in Ruth Davidsons generally tepid takes on the broad campaign for independence as well as highlighting her hypocrisy as regards her take on nationalism in general ( cue timely reference to the infamous tank photograph). After this the author takes the tack of using this as a platform for arguing for: “ ...the independence movement to challenge her "thinking" (quote marks very much needed) by giving stronger and more coherent meaning to the philosophy of our cause.“

Which in general is a program i support, especially given that the nature of the mainstream lines of the debate have sort of solidified into entrenched positions since indyref 1.0. However Im broadly speaking an anarchist so any chance of my actual views getting into the rhetoric of the independence debate is pretty slim. Regardless we crack on and Mr Mcalpine immediately starts talking about academic theories and conceptions of nationalism, which i would agree is a fair point to start. However this is also where i start to run int trouble with this article. Instead of using the theories he has outlined to help approach the matter materialistically and even state which of these he believes is closer to accuracy ( though to be fair he does do this later), McAlpine immediately simply lays them out as an offering and moves on to his first major calumny. I find it fitting that he does this after making the error that all online anarchos love to point out : “ oooooh you assumed the nation state is a good model at ALL. you FOOL” etc etc

So what is this first major issue? well:

“Because here's the thing – there is more or less no person in the world who is not wholly reliant on and deeply committed to the nation state system. I get deeply irritated by the 'citizen of the world' crowd who, hypocritically, expect someone else's nation state to provide the police to protect their MacBooks as they check into a hotel in someone else's country using someone else's roads paid for by someone else's nation state raising taxes on their population.

If you are a fascist, an anarcho-syndicalist, a theocrat or a believer in undemocratic kingdoms or empires, or of a single world government, then you have taken a legitimate position from which to attack nationalism. Everyone else is some kind of nationalist.”

Fuck me, bad post op.

First of all this is, for someone who just ragged on Ruth Davidson for not knowing about academic theories of nationalism in human society, this guy displays a total absence of knowledge when it comes to literally any of the ideological positions he’s just listed. Secondly, given the way this guy seems to conceive of nationalism i find the ( I assume rhetorical) claim he makes that  “everyone is some kind of nationalist” to be somewhat farcical. Some people deliberately extricate themselves form this mode of thinking. some never fall into it at all and others merely drift away. Its either that or he is going for the Orwell argument, in which case, buddy, me and my  pal Max have some news for you. 

On the other hand if McAlpine is making the argument that “ we all live within political systems pervaded by the importance of the nation-state” or something along those lines, then frankly that’s one hell of a circular point seeing as he proselytizes the idea of Nation States as inherently legitimate, or at least seems to. If this latter argument is being made here then its not wildly different to that time Louise Mensch got up of Have I Got News For You and complained that anti capitalists protesters were idiots because they’d probably consumed capitalist goods. Not least i find this disgusting because of his insistence on the conception of “our roads” as if humans can cut out cubes of the air and trademark them. A criticism of tourist-colonialism is very justified, i agree, and the idea that the colonized nation, repressed by the colonizer is legitimate in resistance is one that many would say carries some water, but here he turns it utterly on its head, not only by arguing that Scotland is in any way similar to being an imperial colony in any significant degree, but also by turning this argument into a complete unconscious capitulation to the essentialism of the republic. Mcalpine worships the citizen, and now because of it anyone can build upon that ideological failure to wring up whatever evolved form of essentialism they may choose. It is from this that the whole failure of much of the self described civic nationalists springs. Their ideology has replaced the old totem with a new one and now the imagined republic forms what they strive for. It will of course never exist, vote or no. I happily voted Yes once and will do so again, but while i described myself as a civic nationalist last time i don’t any longer. I dont think this article really vindicates why anyone should

In that it is treated differently within the UK political landscape by the powers that be it is more akin to a collection of low priority constituencies, safe seats that neither side is compelled to compete over and thus will not invest in. The vestiges of serious English/Scottish violent tension or the post 1707 internal repression are not actually materially important any more. Scots aren’t being brutally oppressed in that way any more. In the Current material conditions it is about austerity over the course of decades, the aftermath of industrial collapse and regrowth, and cutting away from the worst of liberalism and neoliberalism, into a situation where things are merely bad and not catastrophic.

its for this reason that im skeptical of the premise of his next section: that civic, cultural and ethnic nationalism are fundamentally different. Different they are, but not inextricably so. in fact i believe they are merely faces of each other, and because the idea of nationalism does not allow for people to actually escape that loop, are suited to merely melt into each other as the climate requires. If you cant imagine the “ someone elses roads” rhetoric coming out of the mouth of certain other UK political figures mouths. Mcalpine attempts to escape this by stating that he sees the shades of grey and the nuances inherent in the problems of all these theories, but i would argue that the three distinct ideas of nationalism he has outlined do not form separate trends or tendencies, but that they chase each other in a spiral. I believe they have a dialectical relationship. 

(Getting wildly off the rails I would liken it to Clausewitz’s “ fascinating trinity”, where three separate components of a concept that at first glance each seem the essential component, each rely on each other and by their own presence force the other aspects to relate to them.* The actual philosophical difference between civic and ethnic nationalism is particularly tenuous for reasons which i should not have to elucidate. These are not separate categories. They are elements in dialectical conversation with each other and each exists in the nationalist ideal, if you look in the right places. Creating a theory of the modern nation state isn't like picking different pokemon at the start of the game)

*I am aware of course that this is obscure as hell. feel free to ignore it Anyway getting back on track: I think that by this point another key error in the Civic nationalist platform should be clear by now: the notion that civic nationalism stands somehow as a desperately radical stance against globalization and modern consumerism, or even that it would materially represent a desperately different way of being from such things. Neither of these things are really expressly mentioned in this article as it isn't really the place for that massive discussion yet i personally get the feeling that we should briefly discuss them nonetheless. The Civic nationalist tendency amongst the main camp of the Independence movement in Scotland frequently effectively offers Scottish nationalism/independence as a bulwark, both materially and ideologically against “ the bad capitalism” presuming their own to be so much better. Again this isn't mentioned in McAlpines article, so its not like its at all his fault but i feel the need, as someone in favor of Independence and as an anti-capitalist who takes a Marxian analysis of capitalist economics to reiterate that this position is blatant nonsense

Anyway Mcalpine then knocks it right out of the park with the inclusion of a joke YouTube video, which to be fair takes a nice swing at BBC British nationalist propaganda, which is to be fair pretty horrendous. This section is a little edgy but whatever. He then moves on to complain that Sturgeon has had to avoid the word “ nationalist” in her rhetoric. Frankly i normally have no problem with the idea of nationalism being unpopular, but his point that it is being made unusable by the deliberate propagandist manipulation of the silent nationalism of the British political landscape (lmao) is an accurate one. Nationalism isn't what those people are arguing against. they are arguing for their own nationalism and their own power. Next up, after this worthwhile insight is a quite positive point, the heart of which i understand but at same time cannot stand alongside: The fixed idea of the citizen and citizenry is again raised. Difference and the validity of such is celebrated. All is Utopian. All is then sacrificed. the preponderance of the nation state over the citizen immediately re-erupts onto the scene, as the citizens become components of the national project. Which is inevitably going to cave to bog standard capitalist exploitation no matter how Utopian you make your Tomorrow-Scotland. Surplus Value is still Surplus Value regardless who the extractor is. McAlpine is not willing to accept this however and states:

“ This means that I believe nationalism is a function of people – that the nation state is explicitly a contract between each of its citizens, and not a contract between individuals and 'the state'. “ ...to which i can only respond with “ yeah right”. 

He reiterates his imagined distinction between movement for a nation of citizens and affinity groups and relations, and old school patriotism and rightly criticizes it as a subservience to power, yet fails to reflect on such a notion within a nation.  The rest of this article i cant really bring myself to criticize because it is genuinely clearly rather heartfelt in a way which i too have felt and sympathize with:  snipe though i may I still sympathize with the general platform and the desires behind it: for a better way of living. Further the general premise of the article is made into a rather useful request at the end, even if i still feel that the author failed to live up to it: 

“ If only we could show more courage in defining what our project is about at a fundamental level...” 

Well to the author i say this: if that project is independence please count me as, though a critic, an ally. But if it is nationalism then i would encourage you to see which spooks and phantasms still haunt you and to see which wheels turn in your head.

[coronalthoughtejection]

"probablt allows him to justify his views" my dide fascists and nazis in particular make shit up and lie and pretend its fact to begin with if u dont attack em they wont step down and theyll still have their fucked up views regardless

TL;DR Don’t hit Nazis in the face because it’s morally indefensible, because you’re strengthening their argument, and because you’re alienating people, like me, who would be willing to engage in reasonable debate.

So I’m actually not entirely sure what you’re trying to say, so I’ll answer what I THINK you’re trying to say.

What I think you’re trying to say is that it’s ok to physically assault Nazis because they make up “facts,” and because you might, somehow, make them back down from their ridiculous views through physical intimidation. 

Both of these are wrong, but let’s tackle the first one first.

First off, it is ALWAYS morally indefensible to physically attack someone for having different views than you. It has always been wrong and it always will be wrong. There is simply no justification for it. 

Not only that, but attacking someone because they’re liars or because they make up “facts” is even worse because you are then dictating what facts are acceptable and what people can believe and what they can’t. After all, we don’t go around punching vegans or flat earthers, no matter how infuriating they are, or how wrong they are. After all, they BELIEVE the propaganda, which means that they’re pushing their views in good faith. It would, essentially, be no different than someone coming up and punching YOU in the face because you sincerely believed that Chihuahuas were just a larger species of rat, or that Donald Trump was a sentient Cheeto, for example. Nazis are no different. With the possible exception of the leadership, these are people who have been deceived, and who now sincerely believe that whites are better than blacks and that men are better than women.

Yes, they’re wrong. Yes, we need to oppose these views. No, physical violence is not the answer.

Why? Because contrary to what you think, assault doesn’t make people “step down.” Especially not these people.

Let’s look at this logically. We have Richard Spencer, who is preaching his erroneous views.

“Blacks are subhuman and violent!” he says. (I actually have no idea if this is actually something he says, and I’m not willing to put in the time to find out)

Then he gets punched in the face.

So what happens? Do you think he hasn’t faced opposition before? Do you think he’s going to back down? From a simple punch?

“Wow. That punch was really scary. I think I’ll abandon my organization and my deeply held views, as well as all of the time and money that I’ve dumped into it.”

Like hell.

He’s gonna double down. He’s gonna make himself into a martyr. 

He’s gonna say, “Blacks are subhuman and violent! You know how you can tell? Because one attacked me! Violence is inherent in their culture! We need laws to protect us against their violent natures!”

In fact, this is what the alt-right is already doing. 

Here’s a video of our Fürer and his response to the attacks. Notice how he’s branding the Black Bloc (or however you spell their name) as violent (which, to be frank, they are), and how he’s generating fear on how the Left isn’t going to care if you’re a Nazi or if you’re just a run of the mill Trump supporter, or even a conservative who DIDN’T support Trump.

So not only do we see him doubling down on his argument, doubling down on his beliefs, but we also see him fearmongering among conservatives (the people most likely to be persuaded by his arguments) that they are now likely to be attacked in the same cowardly manner that he was.

In other words, the two people who sucker punched Richard Spencer have done more for his cause then all of his own campaigning for the last year. Why? Because they’ve given him proof that his opposition is violent, is lawless, is cowardly, and he’s going to use that proof to the fullest extent.

Furthermore, here’s an excerpt from the alt-right’s website:

…I will say that complaining about the “intolerant left” as they are bashing your heads in, setting fires, and smashing windows is probably not going to get you very far. They aren’t really interested in hearing how you are “one of the good Trump supporters” unlike those “bad people” over there, like Richard Spencer. To them, you are equally as deplorable as Richard Spencer. I mean, come on, you did vote for Literally Hitler TM over the almost First Female President, Hillary Clinton… and anyone who voted for Literally Hitler TM is a Nazi too! No amount of reasoning with these degenerates is going to change their minds.

The alt-right has its disagreements with the various personalities in the cultural libertarian movement. However, we are still willing to agree to disagree with you. We are not committing acts of violence against you (the alt-right is the religion of peace!) Meanwhile, le edgy faggot, Milo Yiannopoulos is having his speaking tour interrupted by violent antifa on a semi-regular basis. It’s only a matter of time before someone is seriously harmed at one of his events (oops,too late).

I know this is a lot to ask of the alt-lite but it’s time to snap out of it already. It’s time to drop the rationalist way of looking at the world. That way of thinking is quickly becoming outdated. We are slowly finding ourselves moving closer and closer to civil war. There is already an unspoken civil war taking place as we speak. We see interracial violence in our country on a daily basis.

And guess what.

THEY’RE NOT FUCKING WRONG.

Because, guess what? As a Libertarian, who would I rather debate with? The far left who’s constantly shouting me down, insulting me, attacking me with ad homenims and constantly moving the goalposts, and throwing their hands up in the air and shouting with indignation, “I can’t believe you even have that kind of view! This is 2017!”, and even has the potential to violently assault me?

Or would I rathe debate with someone who, though I intensely disagree with on nearly every level, but at least treats me like a human being and is willing to debate me with actual facts and common decency?

Now, to be fair, all of my left leaning friends have been a pleasure to debate with, and I say this quite honestly. They have good arguments, they are reasonable, they will listen and even sometimes change their point of view as a result of our discussion. I try to be the same way.

But then I look at the news and I see all these “antifa” and self proclaimed commies and far leftists who’re rioting and attacking people, and I start to think that maybe my friends are in the minority.

[annaxkeating]

Increase Your Landing Page Speed (By Stealing Our Homework)

If you’ve read Unbounce’s 2019 Page Speed Report (and you really should), then you already know why speed is so important this year. Slow-loading landing pages have always been an obstacle to higher conversions, and now Google is punishing poor mobile load times in its search rankings. To be successful in 2019, we—marketers—need to be thinking fast. But are we?

To find out, we polled almost 400 marketers on their attitudes around page speed and asked what (if anything) they were doing to get faster.

Just 56% of marketers are happy with their mobile load times, according to the 2019 Page Speed Report.

Almost three of every four respondents said they had taken steps to improve their page speeds over the last year, and that’s pretty good. Alarmingly, though, only half of marketers we surveyed are satisfied with their load times on mobile.

So most marketers are trying to get faster, but many aren’t where they want to be. Which begs the question: what are people doing to speed up their landing page load times?

Computer, enhance!

Only 39% of marketers have bothered to find out how fast their pages are actually loading. Not great.

Here, we start to see why marketers are somewhat pessimistic about their page speed progress. Just over half have optimized their landing page images—ostensibly one of the simplest ways to speed up your load times—and even fewer have done any of the real technical-sounding things they need to get faster. (I mean, fair, they sound pretty boring to us, too.)

Here’s a doozy, though: just one in three marketers have run a website speed test to find out whether their load times are impacting their conversions. That’s the easiest one!

And hey, we get it. Marketers are being asked to do more than ever before, often with fewer resources. If you’re a small team (or a single person, the smallest of the teams), you might feel you don’t have the time or expertise to meaningfully improve your page speed.

But I’ve gone and done the hard work for you—me, a film school graduate who, until recently, believed that his Apple computer was impervious to viruses. (Hoo boy, it is not.) I’ve spent hours talking to Unbounce developers, reading how-to guides, and generally just bombarding my brain with the most dull, technical page speed information I could get ahold of. (Apologies to said developers.) And if I can get my head around it, there’s no excuse for the rest of you.

Below, I’ve simplified some of the most effective ways to increase your landing page loading times in a guide. For each fix, I’ve indicated the technical difficulty and the estimated time it’ll take, so you know exactly what you’re getting yourself in to. Use the table of contents below to jump to what’s relevant to you, or go ahead and do it all in order.

Jump to a Landing Page Speed Fix

How to Check Your Landing Page Speed

Run a Google Speed Test (5 Minutes)

Try the Unbounce Landing Page Analyzer (5 Minutes)

Improve Your Landing Page Speed: Easy Fixes

Reduce Your Page Content (15 Minutes)

Optimize Your Images (30 Minutes)

Host Your Videos Elsewhere (30 Minutes)

Audit Your Hosting Solution (30 Minutes)

Implement a CDN (30 Minutes)

Improve Your Landing Page Speed: Intermediate Fixes

Minify HTML, JS, and CSS (15 Minutes)

Enable Browser Caching (15 Minutes)

Set Up GZIP Compression (15 Minutes)

Kill Needless Scripts and Plugins (30 Minutes)

Convert Images to Sprites (30 Minutes)

Improve Your Landing Page Speed: Hard Fixes

Remove Render-Blocking JS and CSS (45 Minutes)

Start Hand-Coding with AMP

Final note: If you’ve built your page with Unbounce, you can skip a lot of this stuff—we make many speed fixes on the back-end automatically. In this post, look for the ‘Building Pages in Unbounce?‘ callout boxes to see if a given fix is something you need to implement.

Look for these callout boxes throughout this post to get Unbounce-specific tips and learn how we automatically optimize your landing pages to make them load super fast.

How to Check Your Landing Page Speed

First things first.

Before you throw on your hard hat and start hitting things with a hammer (both figuratively and literally), it’s important to have some idea of what’s working—and what’s not—on your landing page. That means running a speed audit.

It’s important to point out that, regardless of which speed test you use, you don’t want to get too hung up on your score. Achieving a perfect score is not always technically possible (and it might not even be desirable). Instead, use your results as a general guideline to improve page speed and implement the fixes that make sense for you.

Okay—let’s test them pages.

Run a Google Speed Test

Difficulty: Easy / Estimated Time: 5 Minutes

There are a bunch of great tools for testing your page speed, but why not start with the big dog itself? Google’s PageSpeed Insights is an awesome way to do a quick performance check-up with at-a-glance recommendations. (Ryan Engley, Unbounce’s VP of Product Marketing, explains how to interpret and act on your PageSpeed Insights results in this must-read blog post.) Then there’s Lighthouse, a newer tool from Google that provides a comprehensive analysis of your how your page presents to end users.

You’ll also want to run your page through Google’s Test My Site tool, which will check your speed from a mobile perspective.

Clicking on individual results in PageSpeed Insights will reveal your problematic page elements.

Running a Google speed test should only take a couple of minutes, and the results will help you identify some of the top opportunities to boost your landing page load times.

Try the Unbounce Landing Page Analyzer

Difficulty: Easy / Estimated Time: 5 Minutes

Running a speed test with Google should be your top priority, but PageSpeed Insights doesn’t give results tailored to landing pages. For that, you’ll want to run your page through the Unbounce Landing Page Analyzer, which not only provides feedback on page performance but includes a bunch of advice on creating more effective campaigns and kicking your conversions into overdrive.

Unbounce’s Landing Page Analyzer provides feedback on page speed, but also actionable advice on things like SEO, message match, and mobile-friendliness.

Building Pages in Unbounce? Then you’ll definitely want to give our Landing Page Analyzer a shot. Get best-practice recommendations for conversion optimization and see how your landing pages stack up against others in your industry.

Improve Your Landing Page Speed: Easy Fixes

With your results from both Google and Unbounce, you’ll be well-equipped to move onto the actual work of making your page perform better. It’s time to pick up that hammer.

These fixes should be simple enough for anyone to tackle, regardless of their technical expertise.

Reduce Your Page Content

Difficulty: Easy / Estimated Time: 15 Minutes

We’ve marked this as an easy opportunity to increase your page speed, but it probably won’t feel like that when you start thinking about which elements on your page you can junk. Marketers love big hero shots, beautiful supporting imagery, and fun, animated explainer videos. But how much of that content is actually helping you drive conversions?

Visual content accounts for a huge portion of the size of an average web page—images account for over 20% of web page weight, as pointed out by Kinsta—and each element creates an HTTP request. That’s when your visitor’s browser pings your web server to request the files that make up the elements of your page. Too many calls can be a serious drag on your load time, so one of the simplest ways to improve your page speed is cutting down the number of elements you include.

Look at each piece of content on your page critically, then ask yourself: “Does this spark joy?” “Does this increase conversions?” If you don’t think there are pieces you can toss, try running an A/B test with a slimmed-down version of the page. The results might surprise you.

Bottom line: stick to the fundamentals of good landing page design and try to keep the number of elements (and thus HTTP requests) to a minimum.

Building Pages in Unbounce? We recommend that you keep things pretty lean, but we’d never remove content from your landing page. (Must resist… desire… to do best practices…) This is one optimization that you’ll have to tackle on your own.

Optimize Your Images

Difficulty: Easy / Estimated Time: 30 Minutes

Once you’ve trimmed some elements from your page, you’ll want to optimize the content that made the cut. Poor image optimization is the most common reason for slow page loads, especially for mobile visitors. Fortunately, it’s also one of the easiest issues to fix.

These are some quick tips for shrinking your images and improving your page speed. The goal here should be getting images at least under 800kb, but the smaller we can make them, the better.

Resize your images

It’s easy to chuck a larger image onto your page and rely on your content management system (CMS) to compress it to the appropriate size, but it’ll still be loading at least some of those extra pixels on the back end, and your visitors are going to feel it in the load. When you add an image, make sure it’s the same dimensions that your page will be rendering it.*

*This doesn’t necessarily apply to Unbounce’s retina image support—read up on that here.

Choose the right file type

Most people don’t think too much about the format of the image they’re uploading, but it can have a dramatic effect on page performance. The file types you’re probably most familiar with are JPEG and PNG—and, yes, there are differences.

JPEG is a ‘lossy’ format, which means it’ll lose some data during compression. That typically gives you a smaller file, but it can come at the expense of visual fidelity. Generally, images with significant color variation (say, photographs) perform better as JPEGs, and any dip in quality can usually go undetected.

PNG is ‘lossless,’ so the image’s appearance won’t change when resized, but it tends to make for larger files if there’s significant color variation. PNG is ideal for simple images with defined shapes, like those with text. Saving PNGs in 8-bit (rather than 24-bit, which has a broader color palette) can help shave off some extra bites.

Here are some optimization tips for JPEG and PNG (and GIF, that villain) from Google itself.

Use compression tools

Before your weigh-in, it’s good to run images through a final round of compression. There are plenty of image compression tools on WordPress, as well as some free, standalone ones like TinyPNG. These shrinky gizmos offer a simple way to cut down your image sizes without braving the cursed labyrinth that is Adobe’s export settings. (Hey, I’m a words guy.)

Your takeaways here are:

Ensure your image dimensions match how they’ll actually be displayed

Use JPEG when a slight dip in visual fidelity isn’t the end of the world (like photography), but PNG when it is (images with text and sharp lines)

Compress images to keep the file size as tiny as possible

If you want to take a deeper dive into image optimization, we recommend that you check out this post from Search Engine Land, which goes into detail on making images smaller while keeping them beautiful.

Building Pages in Unbounce? We’ve got you covered. Unbounce’s Auto Image Optimizer shrinks your images as soon as they’re uploaded so you can focus on making the best landing page possible.

Host Your Videos Elsewhere

Difficulty: Easy / Estimated Time: 30 Minutes

Why carry something yourself when you can make someone else carry it for you? That’s my motto for landing pages and life, and it’s why I’m no longer welcome on Unbounce’s company hiking trips.

Hosting videos on your own domain can be great for SEO purposes, but that’s not usually our goal with landing pages. We want everything to load in a flash and give our visitors the best chance to convert. Depending on your hosting solution, though, your videos might be slowing down your page speed, suffering from playback issues, and taking up an uncomfortable amount of server space.

Done properly, transferring videos to a third-party platform can shed some extra load time and help your pages render faster. Consider moving video content to Wistia, YouTube, or Vimeo, then using a light embed technique so that your videos only load heavier playback elements when your visitors actually click on them.

Building Pages in Unbounce? As a disclaimer: Using light embed codes with Unbounce (or any custom code, for that matter) will require some technical knowledge to implement and could, in rare cases, cause issues. Check out this Unbounce community post for more information.

Audit Your Hosting Solution

Difficulty: Easy / Estimated Time: 30 Minutes

Loading speed isn’t just determined by what’s on your landing page. Your web host also has a major influence in how quickly your page rolls out to potential customers.

There are three common models for web hosting:

Shared hosting Generally the most affordable solution, shared hosting is when your website is hosted alongside other sites on a single web server. Everyone draws from common resources (like storage space and processing power), which means—you guessed it—you need to share.

Virtual private server (VPS) hosting This is essentially a mix of both shared and dedicated hosting. With VPS, your website still shares server space with others, but you’ll have dedicated resources that no one else can dip into. The result is more power and flexibility, but it tends to come with a higher price tag.

Dedicated hosting For those who’ve had a traumatic roommate experience (who hasn’t?), dedicated hosting means your website has the server all to itself. More resources, no sharing. That’s great if you’re heavy on digital content and get a ton of traffic, but dedicated hosting is also the most expensive option and requires the technical know-how to set up and maintain your server.

Low-volume websites can generally get by with the cost-effective shared solution, but once your traffic starts to rise, you might not be getting enough juice from your web host to deliver content quickly—and that’s when load times start to suffer. (Give this post from Search Engine Journal a read for a more comprehensive explanation.)

It’s also important to note that the whereabouts of your web server can have a significant impact on your page speed. If you’re not using a content delivery network (CDN; more on this below), you’ll want to make sure that traffic from foreign countries isn’t encountering too much latency.

Think your hosting solution might be impacting your page speed? Run your site through a server speed test like this one from Bitcatcha, and use WebPageTest or Pingdom to see how your quickly your landing page loads in other countries. Depending on the results, you might decide it’s time to upgrade your hosting plan (or change web hosts altogether).

Building Pages in Unbounce? You don’t have to worry about this one—Unbounce’s global hosting solution boasts 99.95% uptime and ensures that your landing pages always have the necessary resources to load super fast.

Implement a CDN

Difficulty: Easy / Estimated Time: 30 Minutes

When your landing page gets a visitor, their web browser pings your server to get the content necessary to build out the page. Simple, right? Everyone downloads your website information from the same place, regardless of their location around the world. Well, that’s usually fine if the visitor is in or close to the country that your web server is located, but when they’re halfway around the globe, chances are they’re going to encounter some latency.

To avoid that, you should look into deploying a CDN, which caches your website across a network of data centers and proxy servers all over the planet. Say your own server is in the United States and someone from Lithuania is trying to visit your landing page. Instead of downloading your content from across the Atlantic, that visitor can pull a cached version from a server nearby.

Setting your website up with a CDN is pretty straightforward and—depending on your traffic—generally affordable. Here’s a list of some popular CDN providers from Mashable.

Building Pages in Unbounce? We’ve got five global data centers supporting the Unbounce CDN, which means your landing pages will load in a flash regardless of where they’re being accessed from.

Improve Your Landing Page Speed: Intermediate Fixes

These next speed fixes are a little trickier, but they should be manageable for marketers with a little technical know-how. Still, a mistake here could mean actual damage to your landing page.

Our recommendation? Do some research, make a backup, and—if you can—consult briefly with a developer on your team. It never hurts to have an experienced colleague to turn to if you get in over your head.

Building Pages in Unbounce? We talk a lot about WordPress through this next section. If you’re using our plugin to publish Unbounce landing pages to a WordPress domain, some of these recommended speed fixes can actually cause technical issues. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us for clarification if you’re ever unsure.

Minify HTML, CSS, and JS

Difficulty: Intermediate / Estimated Time: 15 Minutes

All those lines of HTML, CSS, and JS code that make up your landing page? They’re packed with spaces, line breaks, and other bits of formatting that make it more legible and easier for us to interpret, but each makes your load time just an eensy bit slower—and the web browsers your visitors are using to render your page don’t particularly need them.

With minification, the goal is to cut out all of that extra junk and condense your code so that browsers can read it faster. Here’s an example snippet of Javascript code from Wikipedia:

var array = []; for (var i = 0; i < 20; i++) { array[i] = i; }

After minifying, that code would look something like this:

for(var a=[i=0];++i<20;a[i]=i);

There are plenty of free online tools that will do this for your landing page, like Minify Code, as well as a bunch of WordPress plugins. Be sure to check out this post from Elegant Themes, which is an awesome resource that dives into the many options at your disposal.

Building Pages in Unbounce? Do we minify? We practically invented minifying. (Editor’s note: We did not.) Unbounce compresses all of your code automatically, making your landing page as slim as can be. No coding your pages from scratch and no minifying that code in the background? We’re making this too easy for you.

Enable Browser Caching

Difficulty: Intermediate / Estimated Time: 15 Minutes

The goal with any landing page should be getting prospects to convert the first time they visit, but the reality is that not everyone will. Sometimes, visitors will need some time to think about it: they’ll bounce, do more research, check out some competitors, then come back to your original offer. Browser caching ensures that when they return, your page will load even faster—and that’ll make them more likely to convert.

Not sure if you’ve already got caching enabled? Before you start, run a quick caching check using a tool like this one from GiftOfSpeed.

If your site is built on WordPress, enabling caching is as easy as adding a plugin.* (WordPress is almost too easy, huh?) Check out this list of caching plugins, most of which include quick instructions for getting set up.

*If you’re publishing Unbounce pages to a WordPress domain, these caching recommendations could create big problems. Check with us first.

For those not on WordPress, enabling browser caching on your own is pretty simple if you’re willing to get your hands dirty. For example, on Apache web servers, it comes down to inserting a little bit of code into the .htaccess file on your web host or server: <IfModule mod_expires.c> ExpiresActive On ExpiresByType image/jpg “access 1 year” ExpiresByType image/jpeg “access 1 year” ExpiresByType image/gif “access 1 year” ExpiresByType image/png “access 1 year” ExpiresByType text/css “access 1 month” ExpiresByType text/html “access 1 month” ExpiresByType application/pdf “access 1 month” ExpiresByType text/x-javascript “access 1 month” ExpiresByType application/x-shockwave-flash “access 1 month” ExpiresByType image/x-icon “access 1 year” ExpiresDefault “access 1 month” </IfModule>

This article from Varvy provides a great how-to, as does this one from WinningWP (which discusses enabling browser caching from a WordPress perspective but is applicable more broadly).

If all of this makes you nervous, there’s likely a simpler method for you to set up browser caching. Most web hosts will enable caching for you if you ask. Depending on your hosting solution, it might be as easy as making a phone call. (Although, now that I think about it, that might be more daunting for some of us.)

Building Pages in Unbounce? Seven-day browser caching is enabled on all Unbounce-built landing pages, so this is a speed fix you can comfortably skip. Maybe use this free time to treat yourself to some self-care? You’ve earned it.

Set Up GZIP Compression

Difficulty: Intermediate / Estimated Time: 15 Minutes

When a visitor reaches your landing page, their browser pings your web server to request the files that make up the page and the server transmits them back. Naturally, that process moves faster if the information being sent is compressed to be as small as possible. Here’s where GZIP compression comes in.

(You’ll want to check to see if GZIP compression is already enabled before you get started.)

As with browser caching, the difficulty of setting up GZIP compression is going to be determined by how your website was built. If you use WordPress, you’re in luck: many WordPress plugins will enable GZIP compression for you almost automatically. If you don’t use WordPress, well, we’re headed back into your server.

This article from GTmetrix provides a quick overview of the importance of GZIP compression and how to enable it. With Apache web servers, you’ll need to add this chunk of code to your .htaccess file. <IfModule mod_deflate.c> # Compress HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Text, XML and fonts AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/javascript AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/rss+xml AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/vnd.ms-fontobject AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/x-font AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/x-font-opentype AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/x-font-otf AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/x-font-truetype AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/x-font-ttf AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/x-javascript AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/xhtml+xml AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE application/xml AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE font/opentype AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE font/otf AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE font/ttf AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE image/svg+xml AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE image/x-icon AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE text/css AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE text/html AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE text/javascript AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE text/plain AddOutputFilterByType DEFLATE text/xml

# Remove browser bugs (only needed for really old browsers) BrowserMatch ^Mozilla/4 gzip-only-text/html BrowserMatch ^Mozilla/4\.0[678] no-gzip BrowserMatch \bMSIE !no-gzip !gzip-only-text/html Header append Vary User-Agent </IfModule>

And again, if this is beyond your comfort zone, your web host will probably help you set up GZIP compression if you ask nicely.

Building Pages in Unbounce? You don’t have to ask us nicely, because we’ve already done it. All Unbounce landing pages are automatically compressed during data transfer. (But be nice to us anyway, alright?)

Kill Needless Scripts and Plugins

Difficulty: Intermediate / Estimated Time: 30 Minutes

WordPress is wonderful in its simplicity. As we’ve seen throughout this article, page speed fixes that might require a front-end developer on a static website can often be achieved by simply installing a WordPress plugin. Want to enable browser caching? Boom, W3 Total Cache.* Need to minify your scripts? Pow, Autoptomize.* Developer, shmeveloper.

But because it’s so easy to add functionality through plugins, WordPress websites have a habit of collecting a lot of them—along with all the of the bits and bites of code that make them work. Those add up.

Take a look at the scripts and plugins you’ve added to your website and decide whether they’re essential to your visitor experience. If they’re not, junking them could help cut some extra seconds off of your load time. (And guess what? There’s a plugin for that.) You can also disable plugins one at a time, then retest your page speed to determine which ones are problematic.

*If you’re publishing Unbounce pages to a WordPress domain, these plugins in particular might start a fire.

Building Pages in Unbounce? This is more of WordPress fix, but it also applies to Unbounce customers that have inserted a bunch of custom scripts onto their landing pages. Learn how the Unbounce Script Manager helps you keep things tidy.

Convert Images to Sprites

Difficulty: Intermediate / Estimated Time: 30 Minutes

If your landing page includes a series of similar-sized images (say, for a client logo bar), you can shorten your load time by combining them into an image sprite, then use CSS to display specific chunks of that sprite at a time. This post from WebFX provides a great step-by-step guide for creating CSS sprites.

Joining smaller images into a larger file might seem counterintuitive, but again, the idea here is to reduce the number of HTTP requests on your page and ultimately make it faster. Each individual image requires its own call—combining images into a single CSS sprite means your page only needs to make one.

Building Pages in Unbounce? We don’t build CSS sprites for you, but you can certainly use them on your Unbounce-built landing pages. Check out our documentation on custom JS and CSS with Unbounce.

Improve Your Landing Page Speed: Hard Fixes

We’re into the scary stuff now.

These are fixes you should absolutely not attempt unless you know what you’re doing or you’ve consulted extensively with a front-end developer. (We even had one of the Unbounce devs fact-check this article, and we’ve never felt smaller.) Proceed with caution.

Remove Render-Blocking JS and CSS

Difficulty: Hard / Estimated Time: 45 Minutes

Those CSS and JS scripts that make your landing page beautiful and enable cool, dynamic functionality? They could be one of the major reasons that your page is loading so slowly. (Bad news for my flashing, neon visitor counter.)

When a web browser runs into CSS or JS in the head of your document, it’ll wait to download and process that content before continuing to render your page’s HTML. That might sound like a good thing from a user experience perspective—after all, we want people to see our landing page as it was intended—but it actually means that visitors can be left waiting on a blank screen while everything loads in the background.

To avoid this, we need to implement techniques for preventing render-blocking CSS and JS on our landing page. (Refer back to your Google PageSpeed Insights results to check if any scripts are slowing down your page load.)

Reduce render-blocking CSS

There are a couple of ways that we can neutralize render-blocking CSS. One option is to defer all CSS until after the HTML has loaded. That’ll certainly improve page speed, but it will also present non-styled content when the visitor first reaches our page. Not ideal.

The other, more preferable option is to defer most style rules until the HTML has been rendered, but inline the CSS necessary to correctly display content above the fold within the HTML. That way, visitors will see the properly-styled content as soon as they hit the page while the rest will load out of view. Pretty sneaky. This is a great tutorial using a real-life example from codeburst.io.

Another page speed opportunity for you here is combining your CSS files. By moving your style rules from several files to just one (or maybe two, tops), you can reduce the number of times that visitors need to ping your web server and improve your landing page load time. Here’s a good resource from GiftOfSpeed on combining and compressing you CSS scripts.

Eliminate render-blocking JS

Like CSS, JS scripts can prevent your landing page from rendering as quickly as you might like. We can avoid that by deploying the defer and async attributes. The former tells the browser to wait until your HTML is rendered before it begins pulling in JS scripts, while the latter asks that JS be downloaded simultaneously without interrupting the HTML download.

An important note is that not all JS scripts are equal: some are critical to the rendering of your page and need to be addressed right out of the gate, so they’ll have to stay at the top. Dareboost does a good job of explaining how to distinguish between critical and non-critical JS, as well as how to implement deferred and asynchronous loading.

Building Pages in Unbounce? Unbounce optimizes for most Google PageSpeed Insights recommendations, including the removal of render-blocking elements. That means you can skip this one.

Start Hand-Coding with AMP

Difficulty: Very Hard / Estimated Time: ∞ Hours

Alright, “∞ hours” is an overstatement, but implementing AMP is no small task. Developed by Google, the AMP project is an entirely new framework with which to build your web pages. The goal? Dramatically improve page speed, especially for mobile users.

AMP is made up of three core components: AMP HTML, AMP JS, and AMP Cache. That means you’ll need to learn new markup, as well as understand the framework well enough to get your landing pages validated and make sure they actually work.

We won’t get into the nitty-gritty of building with AMP here, but the AMP website has a bunch of resources (including tutorials) to help you get started.

Building Pages in Unbounce? No hand-coding AMP pages for you—Unbounce makes it easy to drag and drop together AMP experiences. Choose one of our AMP-optimized templates, load your content, get validated, and start publishing lightning-fast landing pages right away.

Improving your landing page speed can sound intimidating, but even small tweaks will make a big difference for your load times. Tackle the easy stuff first, then move onto more challenging fixes as you get comfortable. And above all, keep testing: seeing your improved speed results after each undertaking will give you the confidence and motivation to move forward.

Or, you know, just build with Unbounce. We automatically handle most of the speed fixes listed (or at least makes them super easy), which saves a ton of time. That means you can focus on what matters: getting more conversions and improving ROI.

from Digital https://unbounce.com/landing-pages/increase-landing-page-speed/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[survivormuxloe]

Episode 13: "so things went from Guatemala to Guatepeor” - Ahrre

david REALLY GOT BRAVE TRYNA COME FOR ME WHEN HIS ASS AINT IMMUNE HUH. aint it so.. vote me and ur ass gonna go... ijs!! rip my perf game but at least i was the last person to recieve votes so thats kinda cute.. it doesnt change the fact that im winning tho ALMFNBG like. just 3/4 more tribals to survive bitch.. give those immunity wins to me pls x :)))

LOWKEY MY ASS WAS NERVOUSSSS LIKE I DONT WANNA READ MY NAME ON THOSE PIECES OF PAPER AGAIN THO!!! altho my name is cute written out by anna highkey ngl.. maybe she'll write them in cursive for my winner reveal? x

my mind tho. rhys/tobi/ryan r all under my spell. missus mo and ahrre got brave and are gunna get a taste of hell when im not dying under exams lol x ALMFJHBFG

lvoe u gusys. xoxo ur winner scooty toots

Well fuck. David is gone. I’m in the minority. So now it’s just me and Ahrre. But I don’t want to settle for 6th or 5th place. I’ve made it this far I wanna make it to the end. So I’m going to try to wiggle my way through.

http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/41700000/Avengers-Endgame-2019-avengers-infinity-war-1-and-2-41740034-540-225.gif

So the situation is looking pretty grim, Rhys stuck with the majority, David the absolute unit is dead and I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the next one to go.

So right know things change as it's no longer about getting majority but rather get that group of 4 to cannibalize itself. Now the thing is that each of those 4 seem so confident in their position but only 3 make it to the end so that means at least one will end up being left out and that's just with a minimum level of snaking, but we know they are capable of way more shafty shit.

But their overconfidence in their position is not the only problem. It's also kinda hard when I've tried to blindside 3 of them. But hey at least you can't say I didn't try. Tobi is not willing to even tell me anything until tomorrow after we do the challenge. But he also says he's rooting for me as an underdog even if we're in oposite sides... Cheky fecker trying to get my jury vote...

As for the rest well I'll try to talk to them tomorrow, if I can commend Mo for something is that at least they might be more willing to work with him than me, which is clearly not a good thing for my game but eh wadda you do. I know for a fact by now everyone is gonna be saying that the plan is me going home probably 5-1 but if that's gonna end up being true or just a bluff for one of the 4 to get blindsided is still to see.

Either way I'm gonna try to stir some shit up and not be a voulnerable pleb waiting to be taken out or saved. Better dead than a goat.

These fattys are going down one by one... i love it... like highkey david going means that me and scott have to step up our physical games if we wanna take out ryan... someone else has to win immunity and then we can start pinning moves on ryan... I'm slowly repairing my relationship with ahrre by having a frank talk with him about our relationship in the game, which was both awkward but i think it helped??? im trynna work him pretty hard because he's a tough nut to crack but i think i can do it hehe... scott is working on mo but lets be real mo is easier to crack than ahrre, and honestly rhys' performance last tribal was good.. too good imo like.. i previously pinned him as an inactive goat but if he's able to connect with the other side that well and have them believe what he was saying, i have to give him props because that's some good plays in terms of benefiting our alliance for knowledge, bad jury management sure, but good for the alliance... at this point tbh,,, who the fuck cares about jury management... but then again it's important if you wanna win so maybe im just a dumbass

Well right now it’s final 6 and the question of a final 2 or 3 is up for debate because it could be either or.

After that tribal and David left, he tried to expose me when I had exposed myself already to the people he exposed me too. So sis there was no new tea.

Honestly now one of our 4 needs to go. The only one I would feel confident about going to the end with would be Ryan. Just as I feel he has done less. I’m super close with Scott, so I think right now I need to try and convince some people to vote out Ryan.

The only problem is I will probably need to convince Ryan and Scott or mo and ahrre. Mo and ahrre may not that me after lying to them two rounds in a row. And Scott seems to be strong for our alliance sticking to the end. So I’m going for this immunity as if I win it should all the confidence I need to make a move against my own.

I’m not feeling great. I don’t like a conversation I just had. It made me wanna quit. I’m not going to because I wanna do my best.

i really found an idol day 1 and made it to final 6 with it safe and sound.... ctfu how did this even happen, and Scott too we rly did that. the only thing about that is.... at least until we surpass final 5, there's always that worry that im gonna make a fool of myself with it and hnnnng. i feel like our 4 is solid af and yet, i'm still making myself paranoid that Tobi or even Rhys would perk up and randomly try to blindside me or Scott... but anyway yeah thats where my head at rn. i still don't talk to ahrre at all so he's a complete mystery and no idea if anyone else talks to him so that's great. Mo is an oddball still idk what to do w him kfsdfa

So I want to flip on my alliance this round. But 2 people outside my alliance are throwing me hardcore under the bus. Ok. So like how am I gonna make a move now.

pls god... lett this immunity challenge be in my favour alkfjnhfg i just want a win pls pls pls let me be guaranteed f4 lol

I just had a really good conversation with Tobi and it’s making me like really happy because this entire game I’ve gotten the short end of the stick. With people not thinking I don’t deserve to be here, that I’m a goat and people sending me condescending messages about my mistakes. It feels really nice to get praised for the good things. Don’t get me wrong I own up to my mistakes and I do my best to improve and change moving forwardss so I don’t make the same mistakes again. But usually the conversations that happen before that aren’t very happy, they’re needed and they end on a peaceful note but they don’t start out happy. But Tobi just praised me on my gameplay complimenting me and it’s such a good feeling. I think I might end up in fifth or sixth place but I’m still proud of myself and I’m going to keep fighting till the end.

so like... I'm really happy i won immunity but im kinda more annoyed with scott right now like... we had this big plan to take out ryan at 6 which is literally a perfect time now since 1) we can access numbers for it 2) he wont suspect it so the chance of an idol popping up is low 3) we can gain trust with ahrre and mo this way... but NOOOOOOOOO lets play with our emotions instead of our BRAINS and take out someone who has played a bad game and would be EASY to beat in the end like JESUS and i thought ahrre had his head up his ass... also scott is SO fucking confident know like he acts like he will 100% win against anybody in ftc and like sis... that's not the case... not if you're constantly confronting and arguing with mo and ahrre... use. ur. BRAIN.

Cemetery....

Anywho, this vote. Mo & Ahrre are voting me probably. So It seems to be a 4-2 vote. However an Idol may be played now more than ever, as I think this is the first time someone from the bottom hasnt had any hope of staying. (Dani, Felix & Jones were all blindsided , and Michael & David had some chance of staying). So one could easily be played. So ima try to push a 2-2-2 vote to save my ass.

so. (: I lost spelling bee. (: LAMDLFNFG

lowkey feel as if the words are suitable to the player tho. embarrass for ahrre as in that game is embarrassing. accommodate for Mo as in we have to accommodate for the fact that he’s a goat. Cemetary for rhys bc he makes us all wanna die @ tribals. handkerchief for me bc my ass gotta clean up ryan and tobi wanting to target each other.. and rhythm for tobi bc while hes in time rn that time is gonna run out soon :flushed:

i just dont want 6th ):

So I know it’s me and Ahrre on the chopping block. I just kinda wanted to make a quick plea. I really really wanna stay. I want to go as far as I can even if that’s just fifth. Not only to prove people wrong thinking I don’t deserve to be here, but also to prove to myself. Whatever decision you make tonight I respect wholeheartedly. But I’d love to go further.

I CACKLED @ THIS COPY PASTED PLEA.. MO BABY WYD

I’m currently making my plea to the others on why I deserve to stay. I’m proud of myself no matter the outcome but I’d love to go as far as I can.

So ahrre and mo are both kindve pleading for themselves. Mo just wants him to be saved where as ahrre is trying to flip people. He is trying to flip me again which is funny. Lowkey am a little worried just Incase it’s a ploy to get people to vote me or something. But he needs me and tobi to flip. So I think he won’t vote me which is great, incase a surprise idol is played.

soooo final 6 tribal. I definitely want Ahrre to leave finally, so how to make that happen. Scott informed me that mo/ahrre lowkey suspect i have an idol so wig. i would prefer if we went 4 strong on Ahrre bc I really don't think he has any powers, but the thing about that is i don't want to campaign for that to happen and make it look like i feel safe about idols... i don't want tobi or rhys to get suspicious and get the urge to flip on me/scott.. so kinda tricky. we'll see what happens

so recently scott and ryan have really been pounding on mo for his goatness and like... I took advantage of that hehe... I talked to mo and had a real heart to heart with him and like... I told him that he deserves more credit than he's getting and then more wholesome stuff and then BAM we got past the barrier we previously had and now we're totally cool!!... where ryan and scott burn bridges, im gonna build new ones!! so like that wasnt TOTALLY just for strategy like im not that big of an asshole... but its a mix of both. mo is a good kid and he gets too much backlash for his game.. and im gonna take advantage of that by showing up as his guardian angel hehe.. and who knows like this might pay off hugely when i need his vote at f5 to take out a bigger player but for now i'll stick to tending to his wounds that scott and ryan left.. and they really did come for him pretty hard... like REALLY hard so there is no harm in coming to him and helping him with his confidence and who knows, that might be a jury vote right there

Right so things went from Guatemala to guatepeor, I didn't win immunity I actually flopped at it in wonderful fashion it was quite beautiful really. But anyhow Tobi ended up winning it.

So I tried to talk to people and get them to do ANYTHING but to no avail really. Ryan and Scott seem set on stone. I did get Tobi to tell me that if it ties 3-3 he would flip on the revote but that's just playing it safe. Rhys told me he doesn't want to go to rocks so I'm like hey Tobi supposedly flips on the revote so maybe there's no need for that go talk to Tobi.

But they all seem to be giving me the silence threatment right before tribal even Mo has accepted what seems to be me going home.

It's a shame really cause if I do end up going home one of the majority of 4 is gonna regret it the very next week and two more later when the 4th beats them at the end. But hey congrats to that 4th guy whoever it is.

I've tought about doing an idol bluff but it wouldn't make sense for me to tell anyone I have it. Even Mo since if I hipotetically had it he wouldn't help me with it because he would be the one going home probably. Also because I would've definitely played it in a previous round for someone else if I had it and the rest probably knoes that.

Either way rn I'm currently trying to get home in time for tribal since I had to walk a chunk because I almost didn't had enough for the bus fare lel. Who knows maybe I'll survive somehow like the cockroach I am but I don't rate my chances or luck very highly. Either way at the end of the day I'm happy and you can't say I didn't try!

Ahrre is voted out 5-1.

[bigbrotherorre]

FINAL EPISODE: “DENNIS IS SUCH A KING” - ALI THE REST OF THE GAME.

WEEK 13 

if someone who doesn't love me wins this week then bye bye ashvika 

annoyed that sammy nominated me because i kept him safe last week whereas i could have just as easily flipped to keeping alivia and he could've left...but more than that, i'm annoyed at his speech. i dont think he should've used "you nommed me" as an excuse bc that's lame and he was the first to nom me and i nommed him back so we were even, and then i let him have veto pick when he was nommed and i made sure he got taken off. also conversation is a two way street and i dont see him trying to make a conversation with me either, he could have just said the real reason....i love hearing about how good of a player he thinks i am.... the worst case scenario is if bryce or zeezo win, i think even if the noms stay the same that i have a good chance of staying? granted that autumn and ali don't decide to turn on me and evict me 

why is bryce spreading lies :( i didn't tell ali to nominate sammy.... 

ive made a lot of mistakes this game and there all coming at me now.. my position in the game is terrible and i can blame it on ppl playing not to their win condition or on just the wrong ppl winning comps at the wrong time, but ultimately i could have tried harder convincing ppl to see the light or to do better in challenges so ultimately its on me. feeling really hopeless this week even tho i avoided being a preveto nom i think ill be a post one if literally anyone but me wins veto. and i flopped veto (cwl). i cant wait for after the game for ali to admit that he did tell me that ashvika pushed for sammy to be nommed. order in which id vote ppl zeezo- always worked with me and if she makes it to the end she truly DID THAT ashvika- really took control of the game with her hoh win and after jose left smartly picked up the goats and became the biggest threat randy- a king love us working with/against each other throughout the game and even tho he was voted out im not one to discredit buyback winners autumn- never spoke to me but guess she didnt need to KASDHFK ali- fakest person ive ever met dennis- knows how to get to f2 at least sammy- ignores obvious facts and always makes the wrong move  but good at comps so wooh (me teas too tho...)

somehow i didnt get nommed but like so sad what the heck zeezo is going home like why is everyone so jealous that shes prettier and funnier than them :( why cant we all be her goats <3 i guess its good bc like i cant win with zeezo in the game and i can vote to keep her still, but honestly if i lose in f2 with zeezo itd still be fun bc she has had my back all game :] I AM SO SAD UGHHHH GOD HATES GAYS AND HES TAKING MY TWO WOC QUEENS BACK TO BACK. Now i have ashvika who is a queen but not my queen!! And autumn yikes hates me always :(

SORRY IVE BEEN GONE!!! I did one video confessional for Week 11 and just like never posted it lmao but I will haha and that's all behind me. But anyway I just have so many feelings. Live  night is about to begin, me and Zeezo's war is finally concluding, IM STILL TRYING TO GET MY FIRST COMP WIN, and I'm trying to protect my allies at all cost. Some cracked shit is about to go down and I'm so excited and so so glad I took a nap before this cause I'm ready for anything wooo

RANDY: WIN SAMMY: ... ALI: FAKEST PERSON IVE EVER MET MAYBE TALKS A BIG GAME AND SAYS HES SUPER NICE AND EMOTIONAL BUT SUDDENLY CAN TURN THAT OFF. HE WOULD BE A GOOD VILLAIN BUT HE ACTS NICE AND DOESNT OWN IT AND MAYBE ITS JUST BC ITS SO SOON BUT I HOPE HE CHOKES AND HAS HAYFEVER FOREVER! WHAT EVEN IS HAYFEVER??? HORSE BOY AUTUMN: NEVER SPOKE TO ME BUT NICE DENNIS: FORGOT TO PUT SOMEONE ON THE LIST, KNEW HIS WAY TO F2 AND IF HE DOESNT TAKE CREDIT FOR THINGS ICON AND ID VOTE FOR HIM.

AFTER THE TRIPLE EVICTION...

OK BUT DAT TRIPLE DOE http://media2.giphy.com/media/xUA7aViRhBQPzXNAAM/giphy.gif It was dramatic, over the top, emotional, satisfying, show stopping, gut wrenching- literally everything you want out of a triple. I... don't feel bad for Breezo lmao, not after all the messiness they've caused. But doing Ashvika dirty is literally the hardest choice I've had to make in Orre. Sis I am so so sorry. I should've thrown you a vote but you know how Randy is and you really know how Dennis is. I just--- that was something I like wasn't prepared to ever do, break Ashvika's heart. But like in my beautiful dark twisted mind? It was perfect because I knew I couldn't go to the end w/ Ash but I was never going to nominate her. So here we are rip ALSO LAB AND BREEZO ALL SITTING IN JURY??? BIIIIIIITTTCCHHHHH https://media.giphy.com/media/zcAii7T9JXezS/source.gif If you're reading this, you know I sure did say I would wipe that whole group out and send them to jury and it really did come to pass. John sure did gas all of them up to win and I sure did tell him in my Week 10 goodbye message that they were all bout to walk in behind him. So in the spirit of prophesizing, let it be known that Auli aka Ali and I will make Final 3 because we are the strategic dynamic duo y'all slept on. Like correct me if I'm wrong: we've been on the right side of all 8 "merge" votes (there's no word for like opposite of pre-jury lmao), we ain't been on block since Week 6/7 and it's now Week 14, and we've downplayed our iconicism left and right so we're the last duo standing at Final 5, and no one wants to take a shot at us. BUT YALL STILL SLEEP CAUSE THE MIST IS THAT STRONG. That's ok though! When Randy and Sammy walk into jury next y'all will see Also I'm  dead at how much jury hates Ali hahaha. Deadass he has to stay in the game for safety reasons. Like soooo many jurors wanna kill him. That's my ride or die though so I can't let that happen. Anyway I still feel like shit for obeying Randy, which hurt Ashvika, made Dennis cry, and further dragged Ali's corpse. But the good news is woooo it's Final 5 and these boys all want to take Auli to the end. So do I NEED to win this HOH? No not really. Am I still praying and pleading with God like I do before every comp? Absolutely https://media1.tenor.com/images/1a11748f0c7ce30ab4afd057fab66751/tenor.gif?itemid=5677211

Me when I shocked the nation and won HOH and finally had power in the house after 13 weeks https://78.media.tumblr.com/2a8c6d7cc298da364a847f8f9d767c7c/tumblr_opiih6Z7tB1ub3fcfo1_500.gif Me then using said power to target my baby Randy for the greater good https://media.giphy.com/media/hic9t15zsdwfC/giphy.gif And now me that I'm selling my entire family, land, soul, and wig collection to get Dennis to keep me and kill Sammy so that I'm not Ika Wonged because I know for a fact Ali would take me to F2 and Dennis would be a dumbass not to take me too. AND I ALWAYS BELIEVED IF I WENT UP A FOURTH TIME THAT WOULD BE THE TIME I GO UP ON THE BLOCK AND DONT COME BACK DOWN SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DENNIS BE STRATEGIC AND KEEP ME https://i.pinimg.com/originals/23/53/9d/23539d4ab6c13adab50940426d73ed6e.gif

[AFTER F4 EVICTION]

WAIT WHAT HOW AM I ALIVE?? https://media.giphy.com/media/TZ388aYpsLMcM/giphy.gif AND HOW THE FUCK DID I MAKE FINAL 3??? https://yiaelxzosjw9p4bs-zippykid.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/happy-crying.gif Pray for me if I win Final HOH cause fun fact: I, the strategic legend, have no clue who to fucking take to the end and that's the biggest gag of the entire season BECAUSE I DIDN'T PLAN OUT THIS FAR GODDAMMIT AND I WISH I HAD. Ok that's not entirely true- I knew I should either sit next to Dennis or Ali because ya know contingency plans matter. BUT NOW??? Bitch ion know I just wanna win

CLICK HERE & HERE TO SEE DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

i've never seen a better reflection of the emotional rollercoaster that is my mental state than these two being filmed less than 12 hours apart jasldfa

CLICK HERE AND HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

okay i have lots of post finale thoughts but i need to type them up tomorrow. i just hope the jury knows how sorry I am if I ever upset them, because I love them all so much and would never want that :(

time for my post finale wrap up and.... whewie. This is so upsetting because, I just did this for all stars. Like it's looking like my track record is LITERALLY going to be 2nd 9th 2nd 2nd 2nd, I CANT COME 2ND AGAIN. I really can't take this. Here is the bigger problem though and this is why Orre will be my last game whether I win or not. I can't keep playing these games when I upset so many people. Like it honestly broke my heart yesterday hearing how much I upset people like Bryce & Ashvika, people I love SOOOOOOO much. I don't want to upset people. Like... what upset me about finale is I don't think the jurors realise that.... I didn't just upset people for the sake of it and ahhh. Honestly, I'm really upset, like not even that I'm coming second but that I upset people. So with that said, I really apologise to the jurors. I got the impression that I hurt you all so bad that you are giving me 2nd as like.... punishment? And while I hate that, if I hurt you all that bad I really owe you all an apology. Anywho, since this is definitely my last game, I've played 183 days worth of games to just come 2nd, and that's just too much. I'm too flawed of a person and player to continue playing these games and just keep coming 2nd. Like it just hurts. so yeah, i'm sad but mainly because this is deja vu. I'm so proud of Dennis for winning, he is such a sweet genuine guy and when he was complimenting me during the finale, it was the nicest thing I've ever heard and I'm so greatful. No matter my game or his, I'd be happy to see Dennis represent our season.

Can I just say... Dennis is such a king. What a kind-hearted, genuine guy. A true king.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

okay so I lost.... and I'm weirdly at peace with it. I know I answered the jury questions terribly and I had... some jurors that would never have it in them to vote for me and would actively campaign against me. Dennis is a king, and in a cast with toxicity and SUCH bitterness, I think he is a phenomenal representation for the season. Otherwise, I am really honoured to get Ashvika's vote, she is such a deserving POTS, and to get POTS' vote is always an honour. Autumn and Jose are amazing friends and I am so happy to have got to work with them, John is a player with SUCH potential and he is WINNING BOTS & Zeezo I'm really honoured to get her vote too! For the others, Bryce is a KING and so is Blake (they both seemed really upset by me so I hope we can be friends). Lynn I never spoke to and seems... very bitter about the season's result, but I hope she gets over it because she is also a QUEEN. Randy is a funny one and I'm starting to worry all his friend talk was just him playing into my emotional side, but he is a good egg really I know it. Sammy is a ghost king. I kinda want to end on Alivia. Alivia is a person whose personality is obviously very different to mine and the way she speaks to me and others really upsets me a lot of the time. However, her bitterness against me is understandable and I hope she gets over it, because she defines herself by anger and bitterness when she is such a funny and likable person and doesn't need to do that. but woo... to wrap stuff up, I'm so grateful for Nicholas & Julia for casting me, Owen & Emily for being amazing.... OH, I forgot what I wanted to say. Autumn is a queen, a legend and amazing. She is honestly soo soo amazing, like... someone I really admire and see as a rolemodel? she is inspirational, a queen and a legend. Dennis is the nicest, most well intentioned guy ever SO sweet and really just a genuinely nice guy. I have made lasting friendships with some members of this cast and I'm so happy. so yeah.... i'll probably do another one of these in like a day or so, but if not.... ali out woo

we love coming to jury and being told about my ""showmance""".... wanna die jadfkl. my only showmance was to snakery, my way of life. blake was robbed but also is a broccoli. last words? autumn and dennis are my faves, best F3 ever.

FINAL CAST ASSESSMENT

[foursproutlove-blog]

Dear Dana: I Don’t Like The New Woman In My Group Of Friends

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/love/dear-dana-i-dont-like-the-new-woman-in-my-group-of-friends/

Dear Dana: I Don’t Like The New Woman In My Group Of Friends

Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org.

Dear Dana,

I’ve been friends with the same core group of people since freshman year of college. Over the years, certain people have moved away, gotten married, had children, lost jobs and loved ones, but we’ve always been there for each other no matter what. Recently, a new woman has managed her way into our group and I’m not sure what to do about it. 

Real talk: I (really) don’t like her. But for some reason, everyone else in the group thinks she’s great. She’s my friend’s co-worker — she came out to drinks one night and never went away. They’ve even extended an invitation to her to join us on our annual camping trip this summer. She’s abrasive, talks over me, has to be the center of attention, makes everything way too dramatic, and flirts with all the men in the group despite their relationship status. Every time I try to talk about her to someone else, they tell me I’ve overreacting, or that I should give her another chance because she’s really “sweet.” But I just don’t think I have it in me. 

I don’t want to let this woman ruin my relationships with my dearest friends, but I’m not on board with pretending to like her either. What should I do?

Signed,

Really Don’t Like Her

Dear Really Don’t Like Her,

Real talk: It doesn’t matter that you don’t like her. It doesn’t matter to your friends, who clearly disagree with you, and it doesn’t matter to this new woman. And this is how it should be. Your personal feelings about this woman really should not effect the lives of a single other person, including yourself. You may be right and she may be the complete worst, or you may be wrong and she may be the total best, but either way you stewing in your dislike of her isn’t helping anyone.

I’ve been told before that I’m the disliked one – back in high school, I remember sitting at the large, metal table in ceramics class and being told that a mutual friend was asking everyone else in our group, “Why do you guys hang out with Dana? She’s so annoying.” Now, I definitely was annoying back then, but in the way most 15-year olds are annoying: self-conscious and always trying way too hard. Nevertheless, I was devastated — I cried and then hid from the girl who didn’t like me. But, also, I have to admit that I’ve also been the mean girl before. When a new acquaintance and I had a falling out, I began to tell people who maybe hadn’t yet made up their minds about her that ugh she was the total worst she tries too hard and is immature and they shouldn’t even waste their time getting to know her. In my defense, she carried a gnome around with her and was always trying to get people to take selfies with it, but still, it was mean. I took my problem and waged a campaign to make it everyone else’s problem. It was selfish and immature and I regret it.

Maybe you’re right and this new woman is the worst and has somehow enthralled your group of friends and you’re the only one who can see the truth. But really, probably, what’s happening is just that you have a personality conflict with this woman. I have friends who can’t stand other friends of mine for various reasons: she’s too blunt, she’s too flaky, she’s too quiet, she’s too boring, she’s too loud, I just don’t like her. But this isn’t high school, it’s real ass adult grown woman world, and not liking someone isn’t all that big of a deal. This woman hasn’t done anything to you – she hasn’t injured or insulted you in any way.

Your complaints about her are both valid and petty. You don’t like the way that she expresses herself. You wish that she was more like you. Let’s take your critiques one-by-one:

1)  She’s abrasive and she talks over you. Literally, just call it out when it happens and, in the moment, ask her to stop. You can do it in a light, easy-going way. Like, “Hey, one second, I’m not quite done talking, so anyway…”

2)  She has to be the center of attention. Understand that people react differently to being the new kid in the group. Many people take time to hang back, be quiet, and wait for the group to slowly invite them in. Others, though, can’t stand the wait and instead they deal with the natural anxiety of being new by trying to demonstrate their worthiness by being, frankly, the most. She may be a loud person, or she may be auditioning. What’s her situation? How many friends does she have outside of this group? Is she new to town? Did she just go through some sort of upheaval such as a break up that caused her to need new friends? A lot of people aren’t lucky enough to maintain the same close group of friends for decades. I recently went through a period of being a new kid. New state, new office, very few friends in the area. I spent most of my time trying to appear relaxed and breezy while beating back the rising anxiety that no one I was meeting actually wanted to hang out with me. I had to fake it. Some people fake it by appearing extra relaxed, and some people fake it by talking too much and trying to be the most fun person in the room. Have some compassion.

3)  She makes everything way too dramatic. See above re: trying to fit in and appear interesting.

4)  She flirts with all the men in the group despite their relationship status. This, here, is a bullshit critique. She’s allowed to talk to dudes. I encourage you to chill the fuck out about this, because dudes are fully formed humans who are able to opt to not cheat on their significant others on a regular basis. Please interrogate why you don’t trust your male friends and/or why you think that this woman is capable of undoing someone else’s relationship. I think that you’ll find that it has nothing to do with her, or the men, and everything to do with your feeling threatened by her arrival in your social circle.

Real talk: You do feel threatened by this woman. You spent years developing these relationships that she now has access to after just showing up. The fact that your friends aren’t co-signing your feelings is likely causing your insecurity to grow, and behind all of your dislike is the fear that maybe this group is moving on without you. Really, your attempts to turn the group against her have failed, and that should be a flag. Either all of your friends are blind or, more likely, you’re deliberately only seeing the worst in her.

You don’t have to like her, but you do have to be a grown up about it. You have two choices – find something to like about her or stop hanging out with the group when she’s around. I know that you don’t want to stop hanging out with the group, so that leaves “find something to like about her.”

Your homework is to 1) calm down, and 2) invite her out for coffee. Talk to her one-on-one and make an honest attempt to get to know her. Maybe you’ll walk away even more convinced that she’s everything that’s wrong with the world, but I doubt it. It’s really hard to actively dislike someone that you’re having a one-on-one conversation with. Because doing that, really spending time with a person, makes you understand them on a more personal level. She can’t be a boogey-man who represents your greatest fears when you’re both sharing a cookie. Now, I’m not saying to make her your best girlfriend, but I am saying to find a way to unwind from the idea that she’s your enemy. Because she’s not. She’s just another woman who likes the same people that you do. Find a way to coexist peacefully with her because, truly, the only person suffering as a result of your dislike of her is you.

Dana Norris once went on 71 internet dates, many of which you may read about here. She is the founder of Story Club and editor-in-chief of Story Club Magazine. She has been featured in McSweeney’s, Role Reboot, The Rumpus, and Tampa Review and she teaches at StoryStudio Chicago. You may find her on Twitter at @dananorris.

Other Links:

Living Single: I’m Not Looking For ‘The One’

The Downside Of Ambition In The Age Of Flexible Hours

Amy Schumer’s New Movie Is Basically One Long Fat Joke

The post Dear Dana: I Don’t Like The New Woman In My Group Of Friends appeared first on Role Reboot.

[survivorathena-allstars]

Episode 4: “I’m Looking at You Periwinkle” ~Madison

Ali, Zach, and I made an alliance called EAZy Votes and it's really cute tbh because they're my fav boys in the game!

Also we lived but Sam died and I'm like really crying like I actually cried. Like Sam is such a nice person and we did so much in the immunity challenge and did not deserve to go to tribal but we did and then his social game and lack of contribution to the challenge like I guess led to his demise but UGH THIS IS UGLY AND IM SO SAD WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

Survivor Doesn't Stop For Santa

Listen I love mastermind so much even if I don't win I'm gonna have a great time with this challenge, plus we have the majority on our tribe which means we should be fine - and I'm in with Jack still which (hopefully) means I can get info on the minority alliance (if they're really even an alliance) so...we love it! kevinamanda asked how my christmas was so. i saw star wars yesterday it was nice. my biggest takeaway from it is that i forgot how hot poe dameron is. back to game stuff -- so i actually really love this challenge a lot. if i want to get the secret item, i need to throw it and get the worst score out of 17 people. that should be easy, considering that the hosts are cruel mistresses and gave us fifty goddamn colors. there are two pitfalls tho: it could be like suuuuper obvious if i throw it depending on how bad my score is. and since i'll be vulnerable without immunity, i could be dead! whew! i also don't know WHAT the super secret item will be. could be an extra vote, could be an immunity idol, who knows what. it could help me escape a tight situation, or it won't do anything and i'll have thrown it for no reason. the second pitfall is that i LOVE this challenge and i just wanna do well jadjjd. but anyway yeah. since i don't know what the item is i don't know how good the payoff's gonna be. so like...the question is, should i throw it, and will it be worth it? tune in and find out next time on survivor: hell on earth 

Okay so this is BEYOND ugly! I’m so nervous! Elaenia has an obvious numbers advantage, 9-7. So, basically, another Vireao is going. And I think we’re going to have a tribe swap right after. Two tribes of eight. And like? That’s definitely preferable at this point. At least for this vote, our whole tribe can just vote together and we not create waves. But I’m so nervous! This is really not a good look for Vireao. And also, I love pretty much everyone on Vireao individually? Like Lily, Jack, Owen, Cameron, Madison, Will... I love them! I don’t know Dana, Kevin, and Autumn so I’d obviously prefer to vote for one of them but I’ve heard good things about all of them and like !!! Ugh I’m just stressed out. But also, even if I don’t win this cracked ass Mastermind, I think the relationships I’ve established with the Elaenia tribe members before the game are like solid enough that they wouldn’t vote for me? Does that make sense? I hope it does. I don’t want to die. Lily like? Wouldn’t vote for me? Right? She’s my wife? Madison wouldn’t vote for me? Will wouldn’t? UGH I’M SO SCARED! So many people from Themyscira and Azores are on that tribe and I don’t know if they’ll see that has an opportunity to vote me out or an opportunity to work with me. All throughout FTC for Themyscira people were like “Idk how we let you get so far!” And I’m hoping that they??? Don’t have this kind of mindset??? Because that’ll just send me home. But this is also All Stars and everyone on our tribe is a good ass player. Preferably, I want JD to go home. Girl is already being cracked—especially with that last vote. It also saves me the trouble of trying to find out if Charlotte and JD are actually close or if they’re not? Ugh. I hope Zach and Ali are safe in this Double Tribal because they’re my closest allies at this point. I also want Charlotte to be safe because I want to work with her moving forward. Ugh! My only real hope is that since their first tribal was divided, they’ll stay divided. Maybe the two sides won’t be able to agree on a single person to target and they’ll vote however. I’m honestly feeling like voting Autumn might be our best bet? Since the four voted Autumn in their first tribal council? But I don’t know! I want to talk to the tribe as a whole about this. Ugh! I’m just really scared and I WANT that immunity. ________________________________________________________________ All I can hope about this tribal is that everyone recognizes that EVERYONE in this game is a threat?? Everyone is a good player?? Everyone is an all star?? So they won’t target me just because like that reason?? But idk I just don’t trust Jack and Cameron to not campaign against me

Okay, so I have a video confessional uploading that sorta sums up my thoughts coming back from Christmas break, but now its time to discuss the ugliest twist in the history of ever, even though I don't even get whats happening. If its a game changers-esque tribal, I wanna cry. Our tribe seemingly has no hope, as if the other tribe is smart they'll patch up their differences and vote one of us off. Additionally, I literally don't know Lily or Autumn, and Jack I only know from that odd Themyscira BBQ reward challenge and from the Athena 2nd placers chat. BUT UGH. UGHITTY UGH. I just really don't think we are gonna get through the next tribal without a really ugly vote off. AND THE FOUR BUFFS STILL DONT ADD UP. Anyway, I'm just sad. I am ready to be voted off, not because I want to be, but i literally called that I'd come 17th in my pregame interview and now its truly happening. YIKES

I have enjoyed my disconnect from Skype WAY too much but I'm ready to put my game face back on!! I'm going out of town just for a night tomorrow and I don't plan on telling any of them that so they don't come up with the wise idea to try to get rid of me.  :* I love Mastermind, I either do REALLY well or I bomb it, so I hope I do really well on it. 

Mood after the last challenge and also going forwards:

I'm worried and not sure what to expect with this upcoming double tribal. Does that even mean two separate tribals or because it said one immunity, a gamechangers like tribal where both tribes go? Either or it sucks and someone from my tribe is about to jump the plank! I also just got off call with someone from another game/ORG and i'm so uncomfortable and extremely bothered HAHAHA But overall this game is exciting but i'm likely dying soon. Mastermind was a struggle. I know someone has an advantage under boulder six. There's been speculation (Emily told me) that she thinks the idol hunt is combined since usually there would only be ONE large archipelago. Smart queen! I don't want Ali or Emily to die either. I wouldn't mind if they struck someone off our side, perhaps JD or someone. If someone on the other tribe who I semi like such as Dana was like 'hey we're voting JD' like i'd literally hop over and do the same. WOO!

Well yes, I’m angry. I’m getting totally screwed over here. The deal was that if I won the hunger games, I get to live the rest of my life in peace. But NOW? You want to kill me again. *laughs* well you know what? F*CK THAT! AND F*CK EVERYBODY THAT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!

I’m so nervous for this immunity. I don’t think I would be on the block if I don’t win, but with it being double tribal WHO FUCKING KNOWS. Lets bomb this challenge WHOO! I’m looking at you, periwinkle.

Whewie I nervous as heck for this tribal! I haven’t done my Mastermind yet but I will when I get home. After allergy testing today and realizing I’m allergic to everything I love my dad is forcing me to go after Christmas shopping so today has been PACKED!!! Anyways, I’m kind of hoping we get a one world twist this round so our tribe doesn’t have to just go in blind and like shoot our guns into the darkness. Even though Elaenia was divided at their first tribal, I’m assuming they’ll be smart and stick together because they’re all stars. But of course, there’s always one of two people willing to flip. I’m just hoping that even if we don’t have one world, my pregame relationships will carry me. I have good friends over on Elaenia and I need them to know I’ll work with them if they keep me! I’m a good ally to have SOMETIMES! I think our tribe’s best bet is to go for Autumn since she received four votes at the previous tribal. That might mean she might get more votes from her other Elaenia tribe members if they’re cracked and save a Vireao tribe member from dying. 

On another note, I’m almost 100% all the other Vireao tribe members are having these jump ship thoughts as well. Like, we’re all smart players. Not all of us are the holiest of heroes. It just doesn’t work like that. Ali and I have already been talking about it, and if anyone on Vireao is a deadset hero, it’s Ali. I’m expecting CHAOS this vote. Absolute chaos. I’m just hoping and praying the votes don’t fall on me.

It sucks that we've lost again because the alliance isn't going to work this round where everyone is going to tribal. I don't think it'll be as simple as voting Duncan out and calling it a day. 

So I decided to attempt to do well in this challenge. While getting the worst score should be easy, I don't know if the reward's gonna be worth it, and also who has the time or the patience? ItAin'tMe.mp3. I'mmmm kinda nervous about double tribal though. I did the challenge in 10 steps but I don't know if it's good enough to secure immunity when I'm competing against 17 people. It's been awhile since this tribe went to tribal so I'm not sure where I stand. I'm not sure if that tribal made a solid formidable line in the stand or...what. Soooo I'm gonna try to talk to people today and kiss ass. Gotta remind these folks of my wonderful personality! 

I just finished Touchy Subjects and I don't think I did too bad! I'm excited for results. Ahhh!!! I want to win just to guarantee safety at this tribal. That'll calm my nerves a little bit. But in Azores I was immune almost every tribal I went to and I was still nervous so like??? Idk I love (hate) my anxiety disorder. Anyways! I'm going to rehearsal now to think about how scared I am for this tribal and watch pre teens dance to songs that they don't know the meanings behind goodbye

So... not much is happening in the game rn. I did mastermind in 9 guesses, which I could have done in 7 had I just gone backward. It was a bit of luck, but I did it in a doc and had a lot of information so that I wouldn't actually repeat anything. I'm hoping I did well enough. So apparently only one person wins immunity which means a couple things. Either this double tribal means one tribe has anyone up for vote and the other has one person immune and we go to 15 and swap to 3 tribes, OR what I think will happen is we're about to go to a huge one-world type tribal and we swap into 4 tribes of 4. Everyone is still shook about the 4 pre-merge buffs, and I don't know what's gonna happen. We could swap into 3 tribes and have a one world tribe as well. I just do not know. 

Whew! Super nervous and excited about results here. I think I did it pretty fast, and 7 guesses is a pretty good amount (thanks again for making a mistake, Jay :P I couldn't have done it without you). I don't think I'll necessarily NEED to be immune, but I still would like it, just in case.

Also, on a similar note, I had a dream about this challenge, weirdly enough. I started it on my computer, but then I had to go almost immediately. Instead of telling hosts about it, I instead did the challenge on my phone as I was taken on errands through a bunch of dimly lit superstores (think Target with mood lighting) and one bank. I think we actually robbed the bank, I don't remember. And this whole time, I was making up lists and struggling to remember all the colors (also shoutouts to Macaroni, the best color there is). It was odd, and it actually made me think once I woke up that I had to finish the challenge. Thank god I actually didn't, and instead got to do my notepad-based masterminding of Mastermind. Love that challenge.

I hate one world I hope they vote me out

Fuck.

MY VIDEO CONFESSIONAL FROM LIKE THREE DAYS AGO IS STILL UPLOADING AND IM SCREAMING. WHY ONE WORLD. LIKE I KNOW I INFLICTED THIS ON Y'ALL BUT WHY

I'm having like AT LEAST seven identity crises right now because of this game God. One World??? In my house??? I can't believe this. For the first three rounds of this game I was like 'you know this is pretty fine' (barring the moment where Karen got murdered) and now I feel like I'm on my death bed. So...some good some bad. Good is that I can possibly team up with people. I want to work with Duncan really especially since we're the last Motu Maha people and I need to pay my respects  to Karen and Julia (rest in power queens). Everyone on the other tribe seems nice especially in comparison to the people on my tribe who blindsided Karen. That's the good part. The bad part is like...everything else. I mean, 17 people? That's...a big number. I don't know if I can count that high. I honestly have no gameplan so like...lit? Ideally I could take out one of the people from my tribe this round by teaming up with the other team. If we don't have a swap next round though...then the Consequences will catch up to me. And I, for one, prefer not to face the consequences of my actions. But if I can't do that, I'll...figure things out. I'll see what names people throw out. I don't think I'll be targeted cause like...idk i'm not a threat??? I'm just fragile.

im in a bad place rn so whats a better thing to do than confess? I thought I'd outline what I've learnt so far: I think(?) Will and Dana are working together? And I think Cameron might be close to them too. I am down to work with that grouping, so that isn't too bad! Also Cameron was in the majority! what.a.king!

One world really just always blows everything up and those are just the facts like everyone's talking to everyone, everyone's in a new alliance, we're all gonna start fighting soon, and it's not long before someone pulls an "ASHLEY HAS AN IDOL" move because let's be honest every season needs a moment like that. I feel confident with my 5, and confident with Queen Ruthie and King Ali, but as much as I love Emily I don't know if I can trust her and I'm almost wondering if she should be taken out now (Malcolm style) since she's a HUGE social threat. Lily/Emily/Madison is gonna be a force to be reckoned with down the line so taking at least one of them out pre-merge would be the best. It's time to start separating friendships and gameplay - that's what fucked me up in Azores and I'm not gonna let it fuck me up here. If we can somehow flip altogether and target an outsider like Kevin that would be our best move - like a supergroup of Lily/Emily/Madison/Jack and my five plus Ali and whoever else from Vireao?? Or something. Regardless I just need to make sure it isn't me. It cannot be me and that's that, at the end of the day I will fight my hardest to protect my allies but if it's a losing battle then I will jump ship. And that's just how it's gotta be.

WHO THE FUCK IS CHRISSA

Okay time for an update! I'll do a full video update since there is LOTS to catch up on, but like.... I'm in a good spot. With Zach, I can hopefully slot into the Dana/Owen/Will/Cameron/Autumn majority on the other tribe, to stay safe for at least this vote. From there? whomst can ever be sure

So I was gonna end up keeping things to myself and being a good little boy but then I ended up spilling all my beans to Duncan. Oops. So yeah I told him about how Madison snaked me which was very mean and how I didn't like it. Hopefully she can go home! I'll have to see. If people from the other tribe want to flip, though, that throws a wrench in the plans especially if they tell Madison and co that I want to vote for her. But if I get Jack and Lily on board, then we're 11-6 and they need 3 people to flip back to them. Whew I hope this works

Coming to a consensus about vote is real hard because everyone has connections with people from the other tribe, and people that they want to work with, so no one is going to be willing to name any names...i’m Scared about how this vote is going to turn out 

I'M SO CONFUSED. WHY IS SATAN MAKING ME GO TO TRIBAL WITH 17 PEOPLE. 1) JD why do you want to vote me. I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU. I AM manipulative, but dont tell people that thank you queen. 2) MADISON ALSO DONT VOTE ME. ALSO DONT TELL OWEN TO VOTE ME HE BETTER NOT. I'm leaving for work right now and like... if it is 9:50pm and idk who im voting im Russian rouletting my vote and blowing kisses on my way out. 

Boy things are...messy. So: first off, I tried asking Lily and Jack what they thought about flipping, and they both want to stay with the original tribe. Yay. Jack seemed slightly lenient but he might just be wishy-washy. I don't wanna be too pushy but like. Yikes. In addition to Duncan, I told Ali about how I was in the minority and stuff and wanted to work with them. Party. I'm not sure if the rest of the Viraeo tribe knows about this or like...what even is going on with them. Duncan said SOMEONE from that tribe threw my name and to talk to everyone and I'm like whatever. I don't know who that is because Duncan's being very vague and not name-dropping which is probably smart but like it's not very exciting. And then...I've made amends with Cameron? So we started talking because I wanted to know who my tribe is targeting. But neither side has any idea on who to vote for which makes things even better. Duncan wanted Will out but apparently he got a hard no so ??? And our tribe can't get shit together like no one's even suggesting names. Cameron's complaining about Emily and how, and I quote, "half our tribe is parked up Emily's rear." He's...not wrong. I can sense someone wants Emily out, but that's not an option because that's just reason for everyone to flip. Actually that'd be a good idea if I wanted Lily to flip but like it wouldn't work in execution. ANYWAY back to the amends making: I told Cameron I wanted to work with him (and I do) but it was hard to trust him because of KarenGate. I said no one had explained it to me so my trust was wavering. So then Cameron explained the whole scandal which basically was Karen was a flop (true). So yeah. I do wanna work with Cameron but like...what about the rest of the tribe??? But I don't know if I can explain that to him without setting off a thousand alarms. At the same time if I just blindside someone on our tribe that'll ruin our trust. And it seems like he wants to go Elaenia strong but our tribe can't get its shit together!!! Maybe I can just use the classic "well this was the first name I heard so xoxo"  excuse and say that since Elaenia couldn't decide on someone I just went with what I heard.

So this is going to be a mess... I can feel that someone in our tribe is going to go home. If it's me or Charlotte I'll be so annoyed because we wouldn't have gotten our VS moment... anyway, assuming that were not being played and the other tribe is stupid enough to vote out of of their own the jack is going to vote with us and maybe get the other people that voted for autumn. Idk if that's going to be enough cus who fucking knows that the vote is going to look like, who knows if the people on my tribe will actually vote with us... Fuck they might tell autumn and someone might have an idol... Be a dumb one to play it on but you never know..... Rocks really would be fun though 

My tribe won't talk to me. Bunch of fake-ass bitches. JD's trying to use me. It's obvious. Don't seem to have another choice. Being used is better than being voted out.

Tonight's mood is fear. I went on call with Cameron and we came to a consensus of voting Madison. Duncan said the plan is to vote Madison while the decoy boot is Autumn, who is the queen of getting votes but always surviving I guess. APPARENTLY Lily found that lose a challenge thing the first round and she got 1 point on the challenge that round. does she have an idol? It's more likely than you think. So we're telling her and her co to vote Autumn (again). Hopefully if nothing blows up Madison goes. And then somehow through this shitstorm I'll get my way. Also I was talking to Charlotte and I asked Duncan if I should tell her about the Madison plan and he said not to but the gag is already I did. She seems to have no opinion on who to vote for though so like...whew? CharlotteI feel like I already did a confession but oh well. I want to work with my old tribe and Kevin, Lily, and Jack. Unfortunately Lily might need to be out of the loop in order to vote out Madison because they are supposedly close. It's messy either way.

My mind is blowing up. Okay so I know there's an alliance of six, and one's leaving. Either Autumn or Madison - likely Madison at this point. I made a pact with Ashvika/Ali/Duncan to do so, but now the tribe seems to be going towards that direction. I spilled the tea on JD throwing Dana's name out and confirmed Duncan threw out Will's name (which someone told Cameron already) and now i'm more like snakey and I don't like it. I also know Duncan tried to make some cross-tribal alliance with Owen and Dana. Interesting... Taking out anyone would be good at this point. I don't want to leave. I want the following people out: - JD - Duncan - Lily - Kevin - Madison Just because I either don't talk to them, or they're being snakes and I don't ACCEPT THAT! Hmm...

I feel like I’m absolutely leaving this tribal and I’m so scared. I don’t know what I did to deserve my name being thrown around I’ve literally tried so hard but it’s okay. I’ve heard the majority is voting for Autumn or Jack but idk if that’s just talk or what. I voted for Autumn, which I feel so guilty about, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Catch Autumn holding a grudge against me for the rest of my days. 💛

Omg I might be getting an idol tonight!! If it's not an idol it's at least going to be something good, and I'm super excited for it. I did a search on the island (path 4 after bringing a torch) and decided to climb that nice ass tree, and after a challenge similar to the stairway to hell challenge, I now have to get 5 people + myself on a skype call. I'm putting together a CAH game right now, so hopefully enough people will be up for that, and I can get my idol. If all of this is in vain though I AM going to start swinging so be warned amanda

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Okay time for me to figure shit out. People in the game: Ali, Ashvika, Charlotte, Dana, Duncan, me, Jack, JD, Kevin, Lily, Cameron, Madison, Owen, Ruthie, Will, Zach Who SHOULD BE voting for who at this point (7:37PM EST) Ali: Madison, probably Ashvika: Madison, probably Charlotte: Autumn or Madison, it depends on what our tribe wants Dana: Jack??? Duncan: Jack Emily: Autumn or Madison... preferably Autumn Jack: Madison, probably JD: Autumn or Madison, it depends on what our tribe wants Kevin: ??? Lily: Autumn, at this point Cameron: Autumn, at this point Madison: Autumn Owen: Jack??? Ruthie: Autumn or Madison, it depends on what our tribe wants Will: ??? Zach: Madison, probably So this means... likely... Autumn gets 7 possible votes. Madison gets 8 possible votes. Jack gets 3 possible votes. And then there’s 2 I don’t know. Kevin will probably vote for majority. Will will probably vote with his tribe. I’m just so worried right now. I don’t want to have to vote out Madison because she’s my friend but UGH!!! I think I’m going to have to. This is the worst tribal ever fuck

oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy oh boy first of all let me just see FRICK U LILY I WANTED IMMUNITY SO BAD???? I FELT SO GOOD ABOUT MY SCORE OF SEVEN I WAS LIKE NOBODY IS GONNA BEAT THIS THIS IS INCREDIBLE A+ STRATEGY WITH SOME A+ LUCK and then....lily came in??? with a time of two fuckin minutes??? she's cancelled. I want her gone hehe :) but not as bad as I want jack gone.....oops. he messaged me last night and apparently I never answered his PM from dec. 18 (first tribal) saying that he heard autumn. I JUST NEVER SAID ANYTHING LOL AND HE DIDNT BRING IT UP UNTIL NOW AND HE YELLED AT ME AND I WAS LIKE "lily seemed to not want to budge" which just made it worse bc he was like "IM NOT LILY." which is true. But also does he realize yelling at people and making aggressive jokes is not the way to get them to want to work with you or like....not want to vote you out? i want em both G O N E. one world happened and I am sooooo frickin happy to finally be with so many cool people. I messaged Ali, Zach, Ashvika, Duncan, and Emily right away. Ruthie has been mostly gone but I sent her some stuff too. JD I talked to a bit I was nervous. ANd Charlotte I said hi to but she didnt reply much. ANYWAYS! Lily immediately made an alliance with madison emily and I. The thing I've learned about emily is that....everyone fuckin loves her in this game, not just the people I knew she was friends with before. Like Zach, Duncan, Ali....all three of them want to tell Emily everything and refuse to vote her?? Bitch me too tf but also...wow. This is so good bc she's definitely going to be the biggest threat later on. There was a lot of small talk last night and I started thinking that....obviously my tribe of nine isn't gonna vote together and their tribe of 8 probably was, but then Emily and some others mentioned that they thought the ventricle 8 wouldnt vote together. I was like hmmm inch resting....bc literally all my targets are on my own tribe. Today, however, things started taking shape. Emily said her tribe actually WAS trying to vote together now. My alliance (Cameron dana will and I, autumn was mia) got on call and figured that the best person to target at this point would be madison. Kevin isn't as with jack/lily as I thought apparently, lily is immune, anc the jack vs emily thing might take form eventually, plus madison/emily have the real life bond. I initially wanted jack or kevin but I do think it's better to just....let the people have what they want, and I guess what they want is madison's head on a stake. I like her but she's made...not too much effort to be messaging me so fkasjdhfjdskfhj sorry madison I feel really bad bc she got out early in isle of skye too :( maybe she won't actually go home tonight tho, let's see an idol!!!!! :') At first we were planning on pulling in Zach, Ali, Ruthie, and Duncan to vote for Madison with us. Emily seemed to catch wind of it.... Cameron and I tried t throw Jack's name out there too. A lot of stuff got messy. Eventually, Duncan called me and said he wanted to vote Jack, but not Madison, and also that his tribe had decided on Autumn but that he didnt wanna do that lmaooooo like...ur tribe rlly decided autumn when I know for a damn fact duncan, ali, zach, and others (half the tribe) would rather vote madison...........ok! so this decision was based on emily!!!! Duncan added me to a call with him and ashvika too (I LOVE HER SO MUCH HOS1 QUEEN) and eventually I made it clear that Madison needed to be the target if we wanted to get Kevin to vote with us. SO! Madison became the plan again fksjdahfkjd AND THEN FRICKIN ALI AND I CALLED AND ALI WANTED TO TELL EMILY AND I WAS LIKE DO WHAT U WANT BUD BUT ALSO MAYBE WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE VOTE DFKASHFKJ but now....apparently the whole tribe of 8 is voting madison and emily knows so oh well fksjdhf either i'm gettin played or madison is idoling or soemthing but honestly I don't know that it'd be me getting the votes so we're gucci this is a whole lot of messy thoughts but basically I think we're definitely swapping or something tonight and I think this round I've done a good job of reaching out to people and seeing where some connections are set. I have options going forward, especially if emily and kevin are in on the madison vote. Literally it's just going to be jack and lily mad at me if everyone is being truthful and I want their slithery selves out anyways. jk im the tru snake here hehehehehehe im really having fun this round even tho my head hurts and I think my alliance is still rlly makin things HAPPEN which is good. let's see tho it could still be me fskajhfksjd me every tribal

Guess who's back on the chopping block!! I'm really blown away by the amount of disrespect, people saying my name has the most traction and the exact same people telling me I don't have to worry. Fuck off- anyone who votes for me tonight can choke. Jack is dead to me; Emily's charm only works on the weak-minded; Ruthie, JD, and Charlotte can go; Lily is 12 so can't say I'm surprised that she'd keep her besties that she can't beat; and Madison is going out the door anyway. Oh fun fact: SHE was the one who told Kevin I was the vote for first round; Idk if she's the source that started the whole campaign but very inch resting that the campaign manager of the get-Autumn-out campaign in Himalayas isn't actually retired. So I don't recant and God really just resolved my moral dilemma of voting her out. She's fake and wouldn't know feminism if Gloria Steinem slapped her in the face (Susan B Anthony might be here for her kind of feminism though oop). The gag is I didn't want a Part 2 of Himalayas but she did and look where that got her. I cannot wait for her blindside and I'm genuinely ecstatic 

This is a 17 person group with 16 eligible options but yet again I MAKE THE MOST SENSE! I love my messy tribal question, asking what kind of work I'm doing to stay alive. Umm winning challenges and being my goddamn self. I am so sick and tired of this assumption that I'm not doing enough. I know I'm not in with varsity and that I can't compete with relationships that have existed for months and years. But I was never trying to do that. I just want a fair chance but look how that's going for me with NO ONE else getting repeatedly targeted in this game like me. Please stop and think about that. Not to take it there but is it really because I'm new or is that the lie white people are telling themselves? Everyone has their feet propped up chilling and casually trading tea bags while every fucking round I'm either at tribal trying to stay or using the time I'm not at tribal to secure relationships. Are these other 16 doing that and in what ways am I bad for so many people's games? Including those who've never met OR spoken to me? Ask yourself that and get back to me

I do not kiss anyone's ass- never have and never will. I neither have the time nor the insecurities to do some foolishness like that with a bunch of high schoolers. If you don't like me or don't want to get to know me fine but don't come into my lane or I'll fuck you up. I'll send them and all their lil friends home, which is the exact playing style that got me into All Stars in the first place. Maybe THAT'S why the admins brought me here- they knew these children would cut up and that while they're having a family reunion I would slit throats and actually play to fucking win. I will take down every single person who takes a shot at me and this Madison thing is just karma coming through from Himalayas. So shoutout to that ugly group who I know wrote my name down tonight- I needed more target options for when I stay!!

Why did I agree to play allstars? I hate that I threw that challenge so extremely but at least I now know that someone has it. With a 17 person tribal so much tea has been shared and poured and spilled and sopped up and wrung out and dripped into the mouths of others. In short Madison should be leaving tonight and I’m trying to play my own game. Originally it was going to be a blindside. Ali Ashvika Zach and myself were flipping to work with Owen, Cameron autumn Dana will and Kevin. So we had majority either way the dilemma was just whether we tell Emily or not before the vote. Luckily enough the tribe has switched to voting for Madison so it should be near unanimous. Madison is leaving because Emily cannot gain too much power. I wanted to vote jack but she was against it, so I’m okay with voting Madison. It’s really weird to watch who’s connected with who through trying to figure out this vote. I have a couple of alliances and new potential allies and seeing bonds form. I hope I’m not being bamboozled. Hehe bamboozleled is a funny word. Anyways I’m really interested to see how the game progresses because I feel good about my potential game moving forward and i am looking forward to the hell ahead 

I should vote for madison but I don't wanna lose trust with Emily or lily. I'm not gonna vote autumn but I could throw a vote on like...jack. but does that really help me with lily or no lol so hmmm and also if Emily knows madison is leaving idk ugh ARE U HAPPY AMANDA. fjsadhfkdjs fuck but if I vote jack I can be like to lily "omg i forgot to change my vote" but also....what if people are lying and my vote is needed? I feel pretty confident that Will, Cameron, Dana, Autumn, Zach, Ali, Duncan, and Ashvika are all gonna vote for Madison. The worst that can happen if I vote Jack is an 8-8-1 split and then on a revote I can vote Madison. If an idol or some other advantage is played tho that's yikes but it seems everyone is voting for madison now soooooo maybe I should just yolo it although if madison gets idoled....hm. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Duncanhttps://youtu.be/J0cpaZBap0Q

So. I was gonna do a video confessional, but its too late and too much is happening and AGHHHH I need to recap everything that's happened since One World and oh.my.god, its a lot. So, we one world. First things first, I didn't expect to win immunity, but Lily also murdered this challenge, so it wasnt as if I could've even come close to winning. The first thing that really happened when we one world'ed was that I called with Will. Firstly, what a king, I love Will. I basically learnt that Will/Cameron/Owen/Dana/Autumn have been the majority and I LOVE that. The first four are all people I wanted to play with in some capacity going into this game, so its so great that they're all on the same page! Autumn I've just met but already love, she is fun and great. But yeah, I called with Will, and we were on the same loose page for the vote, but it was kinda too early to make any major decisions. I later called Dana. What a QUEEN. I am such a Dana stan too. I am so relieved she doesn't hate me, and I'd love to work with her going forwards too. I think our gameplay styles really compliment so that's great. Calling with her kinda reinforced to me that I should try and slot in with their alliance of 5. Today, I've called with Duncan,Owen and Cameron. They are all kings! The highlight is that Cameron also has an idol! I LOVE IT! Anyway, the vote was gonna be Autumn, but I am a seasonal warrior of time and space, so I tried to rally Ashvika and Duncan, and get people to flip to Madison. I think... I actually had a lot of control this vote and I'm kinda shook. Going forward, Lily and Jack are such unknowns for me that I really wanna see them go ajdfhaslkd. They would be my picks for the next two to go. I'm 100% sure I forgot stuff, but I'm rushing to submit this pre-tribal

I do not think we're tribe swapping after this. I just don't. I think this will be something... weird. We all vote together as a seventeen BUT after this... we're staying in our tribes. This One World is really trying to bait us into flipping? Idk though it's really working. I'm fine with flipping???? JD BROUGHT UP DANA'S NAME IN THE TRIBE CHATLKFJADKLFASDFLASD IM SCREAMING!!!!!!! I'm on call with ZACH RN!!!! AND HE GASPED!!!!! LMAO I'M CRYING!!!!!!!  I'm really trying to like..... figure out who I really wanna vote for my dude! This is crazy! I can't think of who I want gone and everyone has good arguments! I wanna go far with my boys, Zach and Ali, but I also want to go far with my girls, Lily and Madison, and my boy Owen. Like. There's definitely a dilemma.

Madison becomes the 4th person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 13-3-1 vote. You can see Madison’s preseason interview here.