#i dont regret seeing it this way the first time. it gave me a whole new perception on mizumono | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stxrvel · 2 years ago

Text

hate is a strong word

summary: you hated Bucky and you were convinced that he hated you back. until one time he was talking to you and it started to sound... lovely? what was happening?

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: 6k

warnings: some bad words, a lot of arguments, a HUGE flashback, a little bit of angst i think? bucky and reader insult each other, reader doesn't like to listen, bucky is easily angered, bucky likes to destroy things when he gets angry but regrets it easily, this is not exactly a healthy relationship(? descriptions of weapons, missiles and buildings being bombed, reader is also very stubborn and likes to put her life at risk… or so.

note: hi guys!! so i came back and i am kinda proud of this one. i think i haven't felt that way in a long time. i gave myself the time to write when i felt like it and it was wonderful, so this came out. also i put the poll for a whole week and i can't change it now >:(, but i think this onsehot fits the angst with a happy ending (im not sure if this fits the angst tho, you gotta tell me) but im gonna try to do something else that fits the vibe, and i'll probably do some other poll to write about someone else. (also i think i should warn you guys that i dont think im that good writing action scenes or tension scenes, so if that's bad i hope you forgive me): anyway, hope you guys like this one!! i love reading your comments so if you want and can, please leave some <33 love you all and see you next time!

part 2

Bucky was really pissing you off too much at that moment. Or maybe you were feeling a little uncomfortable.

He hadn't spoken a single word to you since you had arrived at that tiny house, only shrugged silently and then exploded. You had seen Bucky explode several times before and you admitted that watching him was somewhat entertaining; seeing the faces of frightened people, trying to flee away from his angry face and destructive hands, but physically forced to stand by and listen to his scolding. You used to have fun with that. However, at the time, when you were the extreme recipient of that anger, it wasn't so much fun.

You had already heard a couple of broken glass, shattered wood and metal containers fall to the ground. Maybe five minutes or so had passed and he was barely pausing to look at his artwork. It wasn't too much that he had taken and thrown while you had stayed in the room, but it had all sounded very loud, so you had no choice but to go out and see what he was doing.

You were leaning against the threshold of the hallway to the bedrooms, right across from the living room and kitchen. Bucky looked like he had just finished getting all his anger out when he finally stood silently. He probably thought you were asleep while he was doing all that, as if that sound couldn't wake you up. Was he really that angry about what you had done? You mean, yes, it was very risky, but there you were alive, weren't you?

You felt the best thing you could do was to stay quiet and wait for him to say or do something, because you could risk that angry outburst really coming down in your face. For that moment he had only taken it out on the house, which had nothing to do with your problems, and you didn't want the arguments to start filling the silence that followed his stillness.

But, well, you didn't always do the right thing. That's why you were in that situation in the first place.

“Are you done yet?” you signed your sentence.

Bucky had a tense posture, squared shoulders moving in rhythm with his accelerated breathing. His back was to you, staring at the kitchen counter that had been left completely empty. You knew by the way he was clasping his hands that he was trying to maintain his composure.

“Are you serious?” his voice came out hoarse, a sign of his growing anger.

Maybe you should have stopped there, or when he continued to not turn to look at you, but you just couldn't keep your mouth shut.

“What's your problem, Barnes? Yes, I took a chance, but it's not that big of a deal. It's not for this,” you pointed to the mess around you, even though he wasn't looking at you.

“It's not a big deal, you say?” Bucky moved and you felt yourself watching his angry figure move in slow motion. “What's your problem?”

His beady eyes met yours. You felt a little intimidated by the ripples of annoyance coming off his body, filling the entire room with an unbearable, suffocating tension. His scowl and that strangely calm tone of voice made your hair stand on end.

None of the pieces of glass or splintered wood on the floor looked as dangerous as that expression on Bucky's face. He looked very angry, yes, but there was also something in his eyes when he looked at you. Something like concern… but that was impossible.

“Really, Y/N, what's your problem? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Now, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“I was the mission leader!” his voice rose, his body moving forward as he pointed his index finger at himself. “And you were supposed to follow my orders.”

“I did, Barnes, I-”

“No,” he exclaimed, again moving closer. “You didn't do anything I asked you to do! Why can't you just…? Argh.”

You moved back a little as he planted his hands on the dining room table. You felt a little pressure in your chest at the sight of him like this, as if defeated and hopeless. Disappointed. But that was a common thing. That's why you used to have individual missions, and that's why you didn't really like working in a team. You mean, it wasn't wrong to do it, but everything always ended up in arguments because nobody liked the way you worked, so it was better to do it alone, right?

Seeing Bucky like that reminded you of how many times you had seen that look on the faces of Steve, Natasha, Tony, Clint, even Thor… It was never welcome nor were you comfortable with what was coming next, but it was the way you worked, how could you change out of nowhere something you had done your whole life?

Maybe you just had to apologize, sometimes that worked. Because you also knew that, knowing how bossy and caring Bucky was, you should have at least held back a little during the mission. Bucky's patience couldn't stand that sort of thing.

“Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I was a little careless, but that's how-”

“A little careless?” he interrupted you, his voice and face incredulous. "You almost got yourself killed."

“We're in this job under that risk, Barnes, that's not news.”

The man in the middle of the mess ran his hands over his face, elated, frustrated and surely overwhelmed. He let out a sound somewhere between a snort and a growl before turning back to look at you.

“Why can't you just listen?”

His accusing gaze enlarged a hole in your chest that you constantly tried to ignore, planting bitter feelings of sadness that you were usually very good at avoiding. But at that moment, for some reason, you couldn't stop your face from twitching at the strong, hurt tone of the man who looked at you as if he couldn't believe who you are and what you do. It seemed like Bucky was always in denial and today he realized that what everyone always told him was true.

That look, that dull gleam in his eye, that expression of understanding… All of that you were used to seeing, but coming from him it felt different. As if you hadn't really meant to cause those feelings, as if you wanted to turn back time to do things differently. The surprisingly incredulous and remorseful look was digging deep into your head, searing itself with hot iron to make sure to haunt you in the future.

At that moment you didn't care if Bucky realized how much his words affected you. Maybe you deserved to feel that way. Maybe he should have known that it affected you too much, that would surely do more than an apology.

“If only you had listened to me, we would have left sooner and without any trouble,” Bucky spoke again after what felt like hours of silence.

You couldn't take him back. It was true.

“Why did you…? Argh. Whatever. I'm going to report to Fury.”

His figure passed you like a blur. You barely felt his presence very superficially before all was silent again.

Your heart ached again. For some reason, it wouldn't stop hurting that it was still beating.

The day before.

“WHAT?” you exclaimed in disbelief and the director's tired look reappeared.

“It's already scheduled, Y/N, I can't undo it. So just go, try to cooperate together and come back in one piece,” Fury leaned back against the back of the chair, putting his feet up on the desk.

You looked at his shoes as if they were to blame for everything.

“It's funnier to think Bucky reacted the same way,” Tony spoke up, sitting in the chair next to yours, a mocking expression on his face.

“Shut up,” you smacked his arm before turning back to the director. “Sir, you know Barnes and I don't get along and knowing that, what makes you think we'll hit it off on a mission?”

Fury shrugged. “A hunch.”

“A hunch…?” you repeated in a low tone, twice as incredulous that the big SHIELD director had just said that.

“That's it, agent, you're dismissed.”

You left his office on your own, not because you had been dispatched. The walk to the housing complex took you longer than ever at that point.

You'd only had one mission with Bucky Barnes once a couple of years ago and it had been a disaster. Your group missions usually ended with a close call, but that time with Bucky it was like going to hell and back.

You two had never gotten along. Regardless of Fury's hundreds of attempts to get along, you had never managed to vibrate on the same frequency. It seemed more like you repelled each other every time you were together, and it was totally justified because Bucky was too bossy and wouldn't let you breathe for a single second. Every second of the mission had to be ruled by him because otherwise he was going to explode into a sea of rage and, God, no one wanted to piss Bucky off in that Complex. However, you were always the first to tell him that his tactics weren't working or that he was too slow and well, naturally, you ended up arguing.

You met Natasha and Steve halfway to the rooms and from the way they both looked at each other before the redhead approached you knew you must surely have a scrunched up face.

“Did something happen?” Natasha asked as soon as she reached your side and started walking at the same pace as you, slightly more hurried than usual.

“Fury assigned me a mission with Barnes,” you spat out the good news, impossibly frowning harder at the mention of that name.

“Oh,” Natasha nodded. “Well, you could try to work things out-”

“What things, Natasha?” you paused, turning to look at her as everything around you turned red. “There's nothing to fix here, because Barnes is a stubborn, obstinate, childish, bossy, stupid man who is incapable of speaking like a civilized adult and only knows how to shout orders everywhere as if he's the bossy one in the Complex. I can't stand him!”

“Wow.”

You heard his voice.

“I hope you know the feeling is reciprocated.”

You turned to see him, his body was leaning against the island at the entrance to the kitchen, in a strategic spot as if you could never realize he was there because your path was to the other side. Natasha watched between the two of you like a tennis match, fearful as if at any moment the screaming would start and she would have to run away.

You didn't know what to do. You were super angry, yes, and you felt your blood boiling inside your veins, too. And you'd said all that stuff to Bucky's face before, and God knows how many times before you'd argued just by seeing each other in the halls of the Complex. Despite that, you felt trapped. The anger was still there, yes, but his gaze pierced through you like a sword.

“Believe me, I don't want to go on this mission with a stubborn, obstinate, headstrong, ignorant, individualist like you either, who cares not for the safety of the team but for her own victory, no matter how she achieves it.”

With his eyes sharp, his heavy footsteps approached you, echoing in your head loudly like the second hand of a clock. He had stopped at a safe distance as he spoke and at one point Natasha had grabbed your arm when it seemed you had tried to approach him as well.

“You're a hypocrite,” you spat at him.

“Ha! Me?”

“You always play the saintly dove, but you know you're not much different from me.”

“I'm nothing like you,” Bucky wrinkled his face, as if the very thought caused him to shiver with disgust.

“You're an individualist, too, imposing your plans on others.”

“You never have a plan! What do you expect me to do, let you go and die?”

“I do have plans! But you don't like them because they are more effective than yours.”

“They're more effective at the cost of risking more of our lives.”

“That's what our job is all about!”

“Our job is about protecting! How are you going to accomplish a mission if you're dead?”

“Well, I've done pretty well so far, in case you haven't noticed.”

“If I had a nickel for every time you've gone airhead straight into danger and ended up nowhere near dead, I'd have as much money as Stark.”

“And if I had a nickel for every time your stupid, slow plans have caused you to lose sight of the target and made you come back empty-handed, I'd be twice as rich as Stark.”

“At least my kill rate is minus five.”

“And my hit rate is one hundred by the way.”

“Are you even listening to what you're saying?”

“That I always finish missions on the first try, unlike you?”

“That you're treating your life like it's something insignificant.”

“Ah, now you care about my life?”

Natasha tightened her hand around your forearm again preventing you from again getting too close to the man who was getting on your nerves. Before he could respond, you spoke again:

“Look, Barnes, to make it absolutely clear to you for the rest of your long life: I love my life and I love my job. I love my life because it allows me to have this job and I love my job because it allows me to have this life. If you have a problem with how I choose to do the job, that's just that, your problem. But don't think you're coming here to give me a psychology lesson to make me believe that I don't value my life just because now you've run out of arguments. It's because I value my life, Barnes, that I always come out of every mission unscathed. I don't put myself at risk because I'm oblivious. I always have everything figured out and that's why everything always works out for me.”

Bucky snorted, his body moving away from yours, but despite that expression on his face he didn't respond again. He gave you a sidelong glance before walking back into the kitchen.

Your shoulders felt a little lighter. For a moment you thought he was going to continue arguing.

Natasha next to you sighed, finally letting go of your forearm.

“Why did you hold me so tight?” you frowned at her, rubbing the part of your skin that was slightly red. “Did you really think I was going to fight a super soldier?”

Natasha shrugged under your gaze.

“We've known you to do crazy things.”

“I wouldn't have stood a chance of beating him even if he gave me the upper hand.”

Five hours earlier.

You hadn't seen Bucky for the rest of the day after that discussion, until the next day when you had to get on the Quinjet and didn't even glance at each other.

Steve was in charge of handling the airplane and, apparently, he was also in charge of briefing you on how you were going to proceed on the mission, because Bucky was too busy drilling holes with his gaze somewhere else on the Quinjet away from the two of you.

Neither spoke when you descended nor when you approached the base apparently in a state of abandonment.

Bucky's mission were flat and simple, but as usual he had no backup plan, because all his backup plans were the same: run away. Bucky had a chick's sense of survival, that's why when things went bad was the time when he would scream at you the loudest.

Just like it happened on that mission.

“This place is deadly quiet,” you spoke for the first time, barely earning a sidelong glance from the man next to you.

You had already finished thermo-sensor checking every floor of the building and it was indeed desolate. Still, you felt a strange uncomfortable chill run down your back.

“Well, that's what deserted means,” Bucky commented, his sarcasm sharp.

You rolled your eyes at him, even if he couldn't see you, and kept walking with your gun raised as you approached the checkpoint.

“I mean I can't even hear birds or crickets, doesn't that strike you as odd?”

“Well, we're on the fourth floor, wouldn't it make it stranger if you could hear them at this altitude?”

“Well, you can hear at this height. Tell me, do you hear anything down below?”

Bucky paused. They were a few steps away from reaching the room. His deadly stare caused you nothing but boredom and you would have ignored him completely except that he let out a sigh, dejected. You detailed him minutely as he seemed to focus his hearing on external sounds.

“There's nothing,” he spoke after a few seconds, his brow slightly furrowed.

“You see?”

“But that doesn't mean anything. We'd better finish this quickly.”

Ignoring the grimace on your face, Bucky moved to step into the room whose door was wide open. You stared offended at his back and felt the urge to smack his big head with the butt of your gun.

“Here it is,” you heard him exclaim from inside.

Sighing you made your way to where he stood. A large display of old computers anchored to the wall.

“You should do it yourself,” you looked at Bucky with a smirk. “I don't handle equipment this old.”

Bucky only snorted in response and moved with his gun to another side of the room, leaving you in complete silence to do your job.

You moved quietly and sat down in front of the machines. You plugged them into the power source you brought in your suitcase and in a few minutes they began to work.

The mission was simple. There was one of the old HYDRA bases that contained specific information that Fury needed to find. Up to that point, they had searched about seven abandoned bases without any success. So there you were with Bucky, at the eighth base they had identified, digging through old commands and in another language trying to find the information they needed.

Ever since they left the Complex that morning you were convinced you would find nothing. They had already raided several bases and there were still a few more to go. The probability that you would find that information at that time was…

Bingo.

“Got it,” you exclaimed to Bucky.

You heard his hurried footsteps and then felt the warmth of his body next to you.

“Is that it?”

“Just a folder.”

“And why does it load so slowly?”

“It's an old computer, Bucky, it works at its own pace.”

Bucky gave you a sidelong glance. “Wish you understood me like you understand that thing.”

“Aish,” you pouted by way of mockery. “Jealous, Barnes?”

The aforementioned just snorted.

The load was running at forty percent and truth be told, yes, it was too slow. But you could do nothing but wait, there was no way to speed it up.

Bucky paced back and forth behind you and you just watched the green lines move as if that helped at all. But, well, what else could you do?

At one point, as the charge was about to reach eighty percent, you heard interference on your communicators.

“Argh,” you shook your head and raised your hand to move the device a little away until the sound died down. “Steve?”

There was no response.

You turned to look at Bucky, who had the same quizzical expression.

The interference returned and then you heard Steve's voice distorted.

“… of… moment!”

“What the fuck is he saying?”

Bucky remained silent, tapping the device on his ear as if that would fix it.

But you saw it before you heard Steve's voice again.

A clump of people through the window. A freshly loaded cannon.

“Barnes…”

And at that moment, Steve's voice filled them with clarity.

“It's an ambush! Get out of there now!”

The quickness of the impact didn't let you process what was happening. Less than a second after hearing Steve the ground shook beneath your feet. The cracks in the floor started small and then swallowed you apart.

You held onto a beam, barely lucid enough. You propelled yourself upward, swinging your forearms over the patch of ground that was still intact. You heard Bucky's grunts in the distance. He was surely all right.

You heard him call out to you too, but as soon as you could sit down on the ground, the first thing you did was to reach for the pendrive.

Your heart was pounding, so hard it might as well have flown out on its own. Your breathing accelerated, with adrenaline rushing through your body was the only thing you could feel. At that moment you felt capable of anything.

You stood up quickly to look out the window again. The people were gone and the cannon had been destroyed.

It was at that moment that you realized that Steve was still talking on the communicator.

“I'm fine,” you replied, after being able to decipher his words amidst the constant buzzing from the sound of the explosion and the dizziness you felt at the sight of the hole next to you.

“Okay, you're both fine,” the Captain spoke again.

“Y/N, you can get down from there and get to the floor below. I'll catch you.”

At the sound of Bucky's voice, you moved away from the window.

Bucky had landed on the floor below, and yes, from where you were you could jump up and you'd probably have nothing but a cramp.

“How's it going up there?”

“Well, the shields are holding up okay, but I've got poor vision. I think they're regrouping somewhere else.”

You looked around.

Most of the floor had swallowed up the computers, but the main one was still loading the document. You could see the green from where you were. It was at ninety-seven percent.

But it was dangerous to get too close. The pendrive was dangling from the main computer which was about to succumb to the cracked floor.

There was some concrete left in front of the computers that you could walk across, so, without a second thought, you mapped out a mental guidance plan and moved forward.

“Y/N, what the fuck are you doing?”

“I'm getting the pendrive.”

“What? Are you insane? That side of the floor isn't going to support your weight!”

“Yes it will. I know how to do it.”

You started walking all over the remaining edge of the floor in front of what was left of the computers. Small pieces would break off as you passed causing Bucky to hiss.

“Y/N, you'd better stop and get down right now. There's still a risk of them firing again.”

“I'm gonna get it, Barnes.”

“Y/N! Get down, now!”

Ignoring his command, you held onto the remaining wall in front of you as you continued on your way, almost reaching where the pendrive was, about to fall into the abyss.

Ninety-eight percent.

“Y/N!”

“Fucking hell, Barnes, will you shut the fuck up? Your yelling is breaking my concentration.”

“You want me to just stay quiet while you walk to your certain death?”

“I'm not going to dieee- ahh-”

Your left foot, the one in front, wobbled as a piece of the floor came loose. You clung tightly to the wall as best you could, breathing deeply to calm your racing heart. Panicking at that moment wasn't going to do any good.

“God, I can't believe this,” you heard Bucky's voice, muttering to himself. “Now are you really going to get off?”

His voice sounded reprimanding, but agitated. In the midst of that mess, you wondered for a moment if he was really worried.

“I'm almost there.”

You heard him grunt in the distance.

You kept moving your feet in the direction of the main computer, this time more cautiously and more slowly. The floor all along that edge was too cracked, on the verge of falling. You were surprised it had lasted this long.

At that point, Bucky started talking to Steve, but you kept your full concentration on not falling. Maybe Bucky was right and you really didn't have any regard for your life, but…. No, no. You were very sure of what you were doing. You couldn't give up without trying everything. Maybe for Bucky it was too risky, but that was your life. And you knew you could do it.

Ninety-nine.

You had reached the critical point on the ground.

The voices of the two men were becoming too overwhelming, so you quickly took off your communicator and stuffed it in one of your tactical pants pockets.

“What the fuck did you just do?” Bucky exclaimed, a considerable distance away. He wasn't as far away as you thought.

“Your voices are distracting me!”

Good. You were close. Maybe from there you could reach it… if you stretched a little… a little more… a little- Whoop. Nope. You weren't that close. Another chunk of floor fell and with it everything around you shifted. The concrete was so unstable that it tilted further into the abyss after your not at all incredible maneuver.

You had to get even closer.

You had to use plan c.

But for that, the pendrive had to be one hundred percent charged and you weren't sure you could wait for that. Or well, you weren't sure the floor would hold. You had to be quick.

You heard Bucky behind you, but his words were carried away by the wind. You couldn't focus on him because that would be too distracting.

So, arriving at point x, you executed your plan as quickly as possible.

You ran. Even if the world was falling down, you ran. In the direction of the pendrive. The green number didn't change. You took a deep breath. You felt the sparks fly around you. The sound of the ground cracking was going to haunt you in several dreams.

You picked up the pendrive. You would have a few extra seconds as you leaned over and climbed over the computers to gain momentum.

The bing of the computer filled you with a rush of adrenaline.

One hundred percent.

You jumped. You held your breath for a second. Nerves built up in your throat. You felt like you were going to lose consciousness for a minute. Maybe you heard Bucky in the background, you weren't sure, but knowing him he was probably still scolding you.

In the midst of a deep exhalation…

Your feet hit the ground. You rolled. You moved quickly as you turned to see that the ground was still falling. You got up and ran.

You ran until you collided with a solid body. Bucky was shaking your shoulders.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he exclaimed, his face angry.

You could hear Steve's voice through his communicator because of how close he was.

“Shit.”

He grabbed your arm and you ran again.

Somehow, Bucky managed to get you out of the building as they bombed it again. You had a gunfight the moment you touched the cold snow.

You moved alongside Bucky like a symphony, aiming and firing with your gun until you managed to get away.

When you noticed that you kept going and kept running…

“Where's Steve?”

“If you had your fucking communicator on…”

Bucky grabbed your hand again to keep running.

You quickly reached a shack that looked abandoned and the man next to you wasted no time in letting go of you and running in the direction of what appeared to be a garage. There was a motorcycle.

You reached into your pocket only to realize that the communicator had been destroyed.

And Bucky looked too angry to want to talk.

“Get on.”

He drove all the way into town, but he didn't stop there.

You were on the road for at least about two hours. You had no idea where you were.

Somewhere along that trip, Bucky stopped in front of another abandoned shack and from there he pulled out a car. He set the bike on fire.

You went back on the road, for at least another hour.

Until you reached a small town and Bucky finally stopped in front of a house that didn't look so neglected.

“They destroyed the Quinjet's shields at missile point. Steve had to leave. We'll stay here until I can get through to Fury and we know what to do.”

His voice gave no room for retorts.

Present.

Well, yes, you were a bit reckless during missions, but so what? You got what you needed thanks to your incredible action plans and always came out unscathed. If you didn't do that during missions, how far behind would they be now in their knowledge against the enemy? They would probably be sitting ducks. Bucky didn't see that.

You two didn't talk for much of the afternoon and evening. You had spent it in the living room, trying to avoid the mess he had made to get something to eat and rest. You had perhaps slept for about three hours when you woke up and saw him sitting in one of the dining room chairs. The room looked cleaner than before.

Bucky sighed when he realized you had woken up.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you.”

You frowned. “What?”

“Earlier when we arrived. And for all the mess,” he averted his gaze when you leaned on your forearm to get a better look at him.

“Don't you think it was the least you could do?” quizzical, you sat back on the couch.

“Weren't you the one who said I don't know how to talk like a civilized adult?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Sometimes.”

“Well, now I want to. That's why I deeply apologize for reacting that way.”

You remained silent, not really knowing how to answer him. On the previous mission you'd had with Bucky, when the whole mess was over and you were quietly in the Quinjet taking it all in, Bucky had only said “you're fucking crazy” to you before exiting the aircraft. There was no scolding, at least not from him, no complaining, no yelling. Just that. And with that you stayed for a week because you never even saw him again.

Despite the number of times you had heard that, you couldn't see it that way. That was your job, that was what you did and you didn't dislike it. You had done it forever, it was basically your way of life and you had always done it excellently. You trained and practiced for situations like that, that's why you were part of SHIELD's risk management team for so long. You used to risk your life like that to save other people and it didn't bother you. Now you were still doing it, also to save people. There was no dark reason behind it. You were contributing to a common good and that was enough.

“I guess I haven't made things bearable for you either,” you admitted with a hint of remorse.

“No, never,” Bucky shook his head in agreement.

“I'm sorry I scared you,” the words slipped from your mouth. You wanted to say something else, but, well, that had to work.

Bucky let out a short laugh. His head jerked in sync, his shoulders loose as if he didn't have a care in the world. For a moment you felt like you were somewhere else; maybe in a living room, some alcoholic beverage in one of your hands as one of your favorite songs played softly in the background, and Bucky. Bucky sitting in front of you, just like that moment.

Wow. What the fuck was that?

“You apologize for my reaction, but not for what you did?” his sly grin was getting on your nerves. You preferred it when he wasn't trying to upset you at the point of smirks. You never thought that was a weapon he could use against you.

Feelings.

Ew.

No, I hate Bucky Barnes. This is unacceptable. Mind, get your shit together.

“Well, I tried to do that earlier and you didn't care. I don't know what you want from me, Barnes,” you turned your head away, nonchalantly playing with your hair to avoid seeing those light eyes again.

“You'd better leave it at that. I couldn't take that knack away from you if I tried for years,” the sigh that accompanied his words reminded you of something you'd thought of when you were in the building. His face still looked calm, but a little upset by the wrinkle between his eyebrows.

“Why do you care so much about that?” you asked him directly now that you had the chance.

You looked at him as he turned his head away, his eyes roaming over your face, confused.

“Are you asking me why I care about your life?”

Puzzled, you shrugged. His look almost made you think that was a weird thing to ask, but was it really? “Yes. Well…. You hate me.”

“What? I don't hate you,” Bucky shook his head, his face more contracted than before as if you'd said he had cat ears on his head. He looked almost offended.

And that was the really strange thing.

You mean, almost as long as you'd known Bucky your relationship had been based on fights and demeaning adjectives to each other. That he would say that made even less sense than you asking him why he cared so much about you. He had to be pulling your leg.

“What? But I hate you because you hate me,” you explained vaguely, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. That was one way of putting it; that is to say, Bucky never gave any indication that he didn't hate you. Or well…

“I don't hate you,” Bucky shrugged, his nonchalant expression confusing you that much more. “You're just a little… insufferable sometimes.”

You rolled your eyes. “That's just a synonym for hating.”

“I don't hate you,” he repeated, this time turning to look you in the eye. For a moment you felt like your breath caught in your throat and you were going to choke. “I know we argue and say a lot of things to each other, but… hating is too strong a feeling.”

“Are you really serious?” you shook your head to get the extraneous thoughts out; that wasn't the time to make a discovery, to realize you had lived a lie.

“Yes. And just to make you more sure, I wouldn't mind hanging out with you outside the Complex,” Bucky blurted out, matter-of-factly.

Your head went blank.

“WHAT?”

Several seconds stunned.

Bucky barely cracked a smile at your dumbfounded expression. It sure looked like you'd actually seen cat ears grow on his head. The things he was now saying… they didn't make sense. “You dislike the idea that much?”

“Do you want to not say things so drastically different every moment? You're changing my perception of reality.”

Bucky kept his small smile and you had to swallow hard to ignore the warmth that settled in your chest. It wasn't welcome, not at that moment. The sound of that music in the living room in your head was getting louder, as if your own mind wanted to mock your surprise.

“Well, back to your question,” Bucky moved his hands nonchalantly over his lap and your eyes followed his movement unashamedly, “I don't see why I shouldn't care about your life. We are partners, after all.”

Partners? After all you had been through? Were you partners? Did Bucky believe that?

“Are we?” you didn't try to hide the incredulous tone that accompanied your words, because it already sounded like you'd just stepped through the door into a parallel dimension.

“Sure,” Bucky nodded to emphasize your words and the calm expression on his face became more familiar with each passing second. Could it be that that had always been the reality and you had been deprived of it? “We've known each other for five years.”

“I always thought you hated me…” you mumbled to yourself, looking lost because your head recalling every fight of the last few years, since you met him, every tongue out and every exalted word, but his incredible hearing clearly picked up what you said as if you had murmured it in his ear.

“Surely it was a mistake in communication.”

“Mistake?” you frowned at his reassurance. “You always called me stubborn and childish every chance you got.”

“I thought we were annoying each other. Although, of course,” his face became a little more serious, “there were times when I knew you hated me intensely. You said really hurtful things, what was I supossed to do? That's why I never bothered to talk to you like this. You did hate me.”

“Because I thought you…! Argh.”

Bucky smiled again.

“You're the insufferable one, Barnes.”

You hated the way your head snapped back to that image in the living room, so peaceful and calm, so serene and warm, the moment his barely noticeable smile hit you again. You had barely managed to get those words out of your mouth before you felt yourself running out of breath again.

Were you asthmatic?

And why was your head suddenly filled with platonic thoughts you'd never had before in your life?

What the fuck was happening to you?

“This is the longest civilized conversation we've ever had,” Bucky spoke again, his gaze wandering somewhere in the room.

Yes, that was true. Whenever you talked for this long it was always to argue and say hurtful things to each other. But you were too surprised by everything he had said, because just yesterday he told you that he didn't want to come on this mission with you either and in his eyes you were sure you saw something like what you felt. Something of hatred, when you saw your eyes through his.

Did you just… imagine it all?

Did you think he hated you because you hated him too?

Or maybe you wanted to convince yourself that he hated you. Maybe it was easier to deal with that than with the idea that you…

Oh no.

No, no, no. There's no fucking way that's it.

But then Bucky stood up and with his smug, know-it-all, hateful look, with that sly, evil grin, like he'd always known everything, like he was squirming around enjoying your confused stare, he held out his hand to you and said:

“Shall we fix something to eat?”

Oh, no, you were screwed.

a/n: thank u so much for reading!! <3

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky fluff #james bucky barnes #stxrvel talks #avengers #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #winter soldier #the winter soldier

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cheesymellow · 4 months ago

Text

Alright after processing everything that’s happened, Heres my predictions and theories for EP:8

(Spoilers, ofc, +horrible explaining!!)

Alright starting with my theories on “Truthless Recluse” aka corrupted pv

So first off, I believe this truthless recluse ISNT actually pv, or at least the REAL real real pv. lemme explain-

This specific dialogue gave me an idea..

What if Pure vanilla was hiding this half of himself without knowing it? And shadow milk’s goal was to reveal this other half, These 2 half’s of him probably being:

The pure vanilla we all know and love, The truthful one, The one that never gives up for peace and the happiness of all cookie kind!

The “real” pure vanilla, The shame, doubt, and hatred of himself thinking he’s worthless, And that he cant help all cookies. basically the depressed side

Ever since ep 10 of crispia. Pure vanilla was able to let go of pv B and always stayed persistent and kind. Splitting himself in half. Only ever revealing the other side of him when provoked & manipulated.. Only by one specific cookie.. Shadow milk!.. So.. silly lil smilk mentally tortured PV A in order to let pv show the “real” him. PV B

So, Hes split by shadow milk cookie in order to truly break him. So like uhm, The sides switched. PV A is the one hidden within the abyss of regret now while PV B is the one as Truthless Recluse.

So like, Its still him. But not the full him. And in believe pv B is aware of that. Except, He thinks A is nothing but a poor illusion. What is he is now, Is the “real him”. (in his eyes prob)

And the only way for him to awaken is if he embraces both sides of himself. By accepting the cruel truth about the world and that he cant save everyone, Its inevitable. But aslong as he dosent give up and tries. Its the best he can do, and it still makes an impact on cookiekind

So the only way to bring him back is for the trio (or possibily WL) to do the opposite of smilk:

Give this man a WARM BLANKET. SLEEP. HOT COCOA. ALL HIS FRIENDS THERE FOR HIM, ALL HIS SHEEP AND A THERAPIST

But even if he does awaken and embrace those two sides. Its safe to say he will never FULLY recover from what shadow milk has done to him. Its gonna take an awfull long while for him to do so. And i hope devsis KNOWS THAT.

Anyways moving on~

He also couldve been truthless recluse for a WHILEEE by now..

comfirmed by fortune teller. shadow milk can probably control time in the spire with a flick of a wrist!

meaning that.. Even if the trio only ventured for merely a few hours. What if pure vanilla/truthless recluse has to experience days of torture and suffering to turn like that.. Only proof i have of this theory is his eyebags (he’s had too much.)

this is PV B were talking abt. so Since he literally has no hope anymore he’s probably been overthinking about everything nonestop, his uselessness, his failure as a king, his whole life merely being a game to shadow milk. HIS WHOLE LIFE BEING A LIE. Which explains the eyes :((

Im gonna hope its just emo eyeshadow

The pupils & eyecolor also intrigue me too. I believe its to show how shadow milk has control of him now. Orr, It shows how he now only see’s everything in shadow milk’s lies :((

(Devsis when i catch you.)

Just. Why. why are you so easily manipulated PV. FIGHT BACK PLEASE. I NEED A GROWLING HATRED SCREAM FROM YOU AGAINST SMILK. LET IT OUT 🙏🙏

you CAN CANONICALLY DO THIS WITHOUT THE POSESSION OF YOUR SOULJAM. LITERALLY JUST DARK MOON MAGIC (i think) TO DO THIS

Beat HIS ASS IN EP 8.

anyways SPeAKiNG OF FORTUNE TELLER COOKIE

ho- HOW ARE THEY THE SAME?!

THEY WERE IN THE- THE SAME ROOM LIKE HOW HUH?

My only guess is that, Fortune teller IS really a seperate cookie. But after Truthless Recluse found out he was helping the trio. He probably decided to posess him. Most likely with dark moon magic. We know he IS was stronger now by what the trio said at the end.

talkin abt truthless, i dont think WL is gonna be the one saving him. I believe all respective beasts stories start at the same time, Except white lilies which is just a little late since she decided to go with pv but later left.

I believe the riddle at that spire was purposely added to make white lily leave. Its too much trouble for shadow milk. so he tricked her into going to silent salt.

(i want to believe raisin will be there for him but. really doubtful abt that 😔)

Alright now Lets move onto shadow milk:

lets start off with how i think he’ll be defeated:

if i had to predict.. He’d be defeated by straight off anger from pv. But what if he got beaten up while pv was still Truthless Recluse? Like, Pv straight up snaps and not only almost crumbles smilk. But the entire spire and his friends with it

I believe in his corrupted form, he’d be more powerful than ever considering the ending of ep 7. Probably because hes now using dark moon magic.

like IMAGINE. HE WAS SO TORTURED AND MENTALLY UNSTABLE SO HE SNAPS AND PROCEEDS TO BEAT THE 💩 OUT OF SMILK. EVEN IF HE DOSENT WIN THE FIGHT IT WILL STILL BE VERY VERY SATISFYING

EVEN WITHOUT HIS SOULJAM. WE KNOW HES SO POWERFUL BUT YET HES A HEALER. JUST GOES TO SHOW HE CAN OBLITERATE EARTHBREAD ANY TIME. BUT CHOOSES PEACE

“Wait but what about the beast sealing ritual thingy?”

i dont think its exists. Because if it never did or got destroyed. That would be such a plot twist. But that defeats the whole purpose on why they went there and pv would go through all of that for nothing. So id like to imagine it would get destroyed last second

wait that gives me another idea:

What if the trio tries to get pv back to his sense while pv is trying to protect the beast sealing ritual. But right when pv is abt to snap back to his senses. He COMPLETELY DESTROYS the ritual on accident or mind control. Only a small hint left. And they are forced to confront shadow milk for the truth.

Okay thats it for now. My silly brainrotted brain has nothing else to say.

if i have more theories i will add the link of it down here ⬇️

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strawberrykidneystone · 1 month ago

Text

party 4 you

ex!sevika x fem!reader

summary: it had been 2 years since your big blowup fight with sevika that ended with you packing up everything and leaving. things have been good and you were excited for the party happening at a friend of a friend’s house, until you see a familiar face.

a/n: YOU CAN WATCH ME PULL UP ON YOUR BODY LIKE ITS SUMMER TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF IN THE WATER SPLASH AROUND AND GET YOU BLESSED LIKE HOLY WATER I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WERE WAITING FOR YOU KNOW THAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU

tags: second person, alcohol use, drug use, smoking, ex’s to lovers, second chance, sevika cut her hair after the break up and also has a very gay outfit SUE ME, reconciliation, making out, heavy petting, PDA,

ao3 version

sliding your finger under your lower lip, the excess lipstick that you accidentally overlined easily came off as you eyed it in the mirror. god you needed this party. work was exhausting for you and your friends, a party is just what you needed to let loose a little.

after breaking up with sevika a little over 2 years ago, you had basically thrown yourself into your job. with all the projects you had been working on, you had barely noticed the passage of time. that day, you had moved back into your best friend’s spare room that you had previously been staying in as if nothing had happened.

of course, the night you showed up at her doorstep looking like a shivering wet puppy, she had cursed bloody murder on sevika and you had to physically hold her back from going to your former home. she stayed and comforted you instead, putting on your favorite comfort movies while making sure you were still alive at the end fo the day. it was rough. there was a point where you hadn’t showered in 2 weeks and the only thing you had consumed was your favorite ice cream. once you were ready to talk about it, you spilled everything about the argument that led to the two of you calling it quits, both of you yelling and cursing until she finally said it.

"well if you're so miserable being with me then leave!"

"fine!"

the whole argument had started when she came home late again without telling you and you wanted to have an honest communication about how it made you feel, but sevika immediately had her walls up and was already at the end of her rope. both of you were upset and the whole thing was bad on both ends, but when it had all bubbled over that night. you had regrets, but you refused to be the first one to reach out, and eventually, the pain subsided, letting you move on with your life.

your best friend walked up behind you in the mirror and gave you a big hug with a bright smile on her face that you returned in your reflection. in a whirlwind of grabbing things last second and piling into your designated driver's car, you were at vi's house where the party was already in full swing.

you could hear the thump of the bass from outside of the hour, colorful lights shining out of the windows that were obviously filled with lots of bodies with a few stragglers hanging outside of the house who were smoking cigarettes and pretty poorly rolled blunts. a few girls from your group had already split off to join the smokers while the rest of you made your way inside the belly of the beast.

the bass was now directly pulsing against your eardrums with lyrics that you couldn't understand surrounded by people lounging around while others drunkenly danced along to the beat of the music. spotting vi on one of the couches with caitlyn perched on her lap, you gave her a quick wave and a smile before you ducked into the kitchen to find what sort of drink options there were. after assessing that it was either jungle juice, beer, or just straight liquor, you went with the sickly sweet juice that covered the true amount of alcohol that was contained inside.

the next few hours were a blur, you remembered filling up your cup a few more times and dancing with your friends, but you needed a breather.

after telling, more like shouting, to your friends where you were going, you stepped outside to the front porch and bummed a cigarette off of one of the other smokers outside, leaning on the rails on your forearm while looking up at the night sky. vi lived on the edge of the city, so you could see a lot of constellations from here and the moon was peeking over the roof of the house.

"with how much you smoke at parties, you still don't buy your own cigarettes huh?"

fuck.

you know that voice better than anyone else.

sevika.

she was wearing black jeans with a white wife pleaser, a black pleather jacket draped over her shoulders, complete with a pair of doc martens and a carabiner hanging off the left side of one of her belt loops. her hair was different, cut a lot shorter than the half-up half-down bun that she usually had when the two of you were together. a new arm adorned her left shoulder, which wasn't surprising based off of how rough she usually was on them. the shiny gold was a beautiful contrast against her tan skin, giving her a radiant glow. your eyes flicked over her chest and you could see some new ink on her skin too, barely peeking over her shirt.

fuck she looked hot. even better than when the two of you were together.

glancing over your shoulder nonchalantly at her before turning your attention back to the stars, you gave a single-shoulder shrug, "'s not worth it to buy a whole pack."

"mm," was all she said in response. “need a light?”

you nodded and put the filter between your lips, leaning in close as sevika cupped one side of the stick while lighting it with the other. you hardly noticed how close the two of you were, strictly doing this out of habit, but when you glanced up to see her eyes already boring into you, the heat on your cheeks was undeniable. the end lit up a cherry red as you inhaled, turning your head to the side to not blow it in her direction and muttered out a small gratitude as you took your previous position. sevika took her place next to you at a respectable distance before lighting up her own stick as she took a long drag, blowing the smoke straight up into the night air, the gray smoke curling up before dissipating out.

as much as you'd like to admit that you were over her, your heart still clenched at her being so close to you as if the two of you had barely broken up yesterday.

an awkward silence fell over the two of you and honestly, you weren't sure what to say to her.

"you look good," she said in an oddly quiet tone, you could feel her eyes raking over you as you took another drag from your cigarette.

you let out a soft chuckle with the smoke that you had gathered in your lungs, flicking ash off the tip, "you do too sev."

oh you shouldn't have said that. calling her by her old nickname after all this time? her eyes widened a bit in shock before immediately softening into a look you know all too well.

"yeah?"

"yeah."

this time, the silence was more comfortable as the cigarettes that you two had burned down to the nub. you put out your stick on the bottom of your shoe and looked around for some place to put it out. sevika put hers out on the railing and held out her hand to you, pocketing both of your butts into her pocket as a habit since neither of you liked to litter on someone else's house. it was a practiced motion that you didn't even think about, a blush spreading over your cheeks as you finally allowed yourself to look up into her eyes.

her gray eyes were just as beautiful as they had always been, with a sort of sorrowful haze that engulfed them that you had never seen before.

"thanks for taking-" "can i-"

you both started and stopped as each of you waited for the other to start again, instead breaking out in a fit of giggles. a pregnant pause passed between the two of you as you smiled at one another. sevika reached a hand out but stopped herself, pulling it back down to her side and cleared her throat.

“so… how have you been?” she asked genuinely, searching your face for something, but you weren’t quite sure what.

there was no use in lying; she would see right through you no matter how much time had passed. so you took a deep breath and sighed, looking out distractedly at the littered lawn, “i’ve been better. you?”

another pause.

“honestly doll, i’m dyin’ without you,” she confessed in a slightly raspy voice as if all the moisture had suddenly gone from her mouth.

your eyebrows raised at the sudden confession and you looked at her, really looked at her only to find her once bright golden eyes now filled with sorrow and regret.

you were shocked. it was nothing but radio silence after your argument and from what you’d heard, she was happily going to babette’s club most nights.

“then why didn’t you try to reach out?” you asked quietly, silently cursing yourself with how meek you sounded.

sevika let out a long sigh and looked anywhere but your searching eyes, “ ‘figured you didn’t want to see me after everything.”

biting the inside of your cheek to keep your emotions from bubbling over, your pinky subtly twitched closer to her hand as you wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in her arms again.

sevika has laid all of her cards on the table, which was something that she had never done, even when you guys were at your best. maybe the break up was a wake up call for her. was losing you really all it took for her to be more vulnerable? your mind was foggy, but you couldn’t help glancing down at her lips before catching her eye again.

“well, i’m here now,” you said as smoothly as you could, crossing your arms and subtly pushing your breasts up.

sevika sucked in a sharp breath and took an experimental step towards you. seeing as you didn’t move she took that as a sign of permission as you let your arms fall down to your sides, looking up at her until she was almost chest to chest with you.

you forgot how tall she was. she smelled so good, but different than before. The now stale tobacco had mixed in with the scent of citrus and sandalwood, different than the musk that she used before.

sevika slowly leaned down towards you with her tongue darting out over her lips, her eye half lidded as the two of you started to breathe the same air. your heart was pounding out of your chest and you prayed that she couldn’t hear it over the bass coming from the house.

her arms wrapped around your waist like they had never left and your arms wrapped around her neck as your lips crashed together. sevika pulled you into her body as tightly as she could as if you would float away if she let go even a little bit. sevika walked you back against the wall and pressed you up against it, tapping the back of your thighs. you jumped up into her hands and hooked your ankles together behind her back. her hands slid from behind your thighs so cupping your ass, giving the flesh a hearty squeeze. you gasped at the sudden grope, allowing sevika to shove her tongue into your mouth. she groaned against your lips as you swirled your tongue with hers, one of your hands trailing up the back of her neck and through her undercut. you threaded your fingers through her longer hair and gave a playful tug, earning a low growl from sevika’s chest.

sevika pulled away from the kiss and clicked her tongue with a half-hearted glare staring you down, “still such a fucking brat.”

“you love it,” you mused and gave her an all-too-proud look, giggling as she kissed down the side of your neck.

“let’s get out of here doll, just you and me again. ‘promise it’ll be different,” she said sincerely and looked at you with hopeful eyes.

you couldn’t help the smile that crept up your lips and nodded, “lead the way.”

gently putting you back on the ground, you quickly texted your friends that you were leaving the party and to not wait up for you, being purposefully vague about who you were leaving with. You knew that you would probably get an earful from them later, but right now, you didn’t care.

sevika thankfully drove to the party that night and her last hit of weed was hours ago, so she confidently laced her hand with yours as she led you to her car.

just like old times.

you squeezed her hand, not sure if you were still light-headed from the kiss or the drifting amount of substances in your bloodstream, but you knew that this felt right.

this was just the party you needed.

a/n: save me mystery jungle juice... also what brand of cigarettes do we think sevika smokes i'm thinking marlbolo golds

taglist: @sunflowerwinds @archangeldyke-all @maneskinwh0re @belldonic @fandoms-will-be-the-death-of-me @sevikasfan @lez-zuha @comfortripley

click here to be added to taglist!!

#sevika #sevika x reader #sevika x fem reader #sevika x female reader #sevika arcane #arcane sevika #sevika headcanons #ao3 #league of lesbians #arcane league of legends #arcane fan fic #arcane fan fiction #sevika fan fiction #Spotify #strawberrykidneystone #strawberrykidneystone writes #sevika smut?#sevika fluff

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schlattslonghairytoes · 6 months ago

Text

watching every single barbie movie 🎀 🩷

content creator ted nivison x actress reader

a youtuber dms you asking for help with a video, do you agree and meet this overly passionate film major, or opt out and possibly never meet the man of your dreams

ted had this video planned for months.

his goal was to watch every single barbie movie before the movie came out

and it was going well

the cast had already been announced and trailers had been released

and he had always loved your work

he thought you had a great filmography, and i mean, he also thought you were really hot

so he was really excited to see what you would bring to the screen

a week into his project he noticed he was getting a lot of attention on twitter (i'm not calling that shit X.)

he ignored it as usual, until his friend tucker told him he needed to go take a look, and tucker did not mess around about that stuff.

if he told you to check something, you better look.

he opened the clip of you and jack manifold, seemingly on his you laugh you lose series

the video started and you still maintained all three lives, while jack only had one left, you two were joking around and laughing

"objects ive shoved up my ass" was the next video and you and jack recited it together, almost making you laugh, ted was starting to regret listening to tucker, i mean this had nothing to do with him

until jack told chat to send in edits of his friends, and asked you to rate them, you agreed as that shit was funny, the first few rolled in, a couple "he's cute!" one "she's hot." but nothing that people cared about.

then came an edit of a man who you didnt know the name, but lord he was good looking, you barely even noticed how quiet, and red, you got

starstruck, you finally found words "jack who is that." jack was desperately trying to not laugh, as the stream was not near how long he wanted

"ted, my friend ted nivison" jack let out as he tried to calm his breathing.

you leaned close into your mic "chat, is this man accounted for." you stared intently at chat waiting for an answer, when you saw many no's you smiled

"this is a message to ted television- wait what was his name? nivison, doesnt even matter. if you see this, i want you. dm me, you beautiful, beautiful man." the stream quickly ended as jack couldnt keep it together.

ted was sat in bed, staring at his phone, for maybe twenty minutes, he rewatched the clip countless times

he was speechless

why was his celeb crush calling him beautiful?!?

he was too scared to dm you, like what if you didnt see it

or what if you just said it cause you were live?

so decided to grow a pair and ask jack for your number, it felt more formal that way.

the day after your stream with jack you recieved a text from an unknown number

and god you really hoped it was the man from the edit

so thats what you did, and he answered your facetime within two rings. hot.

his face and dopey grin filled the screen, as well as your heart "hi ted." you smiled at him

"hi." the call was silent for a while, as you two kinda just took the other in

"i have a question." ted finally broke the scilence when you nodded and gave him the go away he began his tangent.

"well as we know you are in the upcoming barbie movie, and ive began a project to watch every single barbie movie before i go and see the movie, i was wondering if you would like to maybe, be in the video, you of course dont have to, i understand if thats weird but i rea-"

"ill be in your video ted, just tell me where you want me and ill be there." ted smiled anxiously, you could tell how much this ment to him.

you two continued talking for the coming weeks

and became very close, like it was so obvious you wanted eachother

flirting, joking, and borderline sexting became normal for the two of you

and even with very tough scheduling

and alot of sacrifices

you were going to miss one interview to drive to teds house and spend a whole day watching barbie movies with him

finding out ted only lived like 45 minutes from you was the peak of your year

on your drive to his house you thought about how fast this man made an impact on your chaos filled life

you spent most days on camera with a mic in your face, being asked questions by people who dont know you

today you were gonna watch nine movies with someone who you actually hoped would never stop asking you questions

when you arrived at teds apartment, you were filled with excitement, what should you even do when you saw him, hug him, kiss him?

you were scared you were gonna make a decision you would later regret, but the moment the door flung open you knew that wasnt possible

ted launched at you and swept you off your feet in a bone crushing hug, and you couldnt of been happier.

you stayed like that for a moment until he finally let you down and you could actually get a good look at him

his tall frame filled your view, and you felt yourself going feral

the day was spent watching movies, the occasional makeout sesh, and filming for his youtube channel

lets just say, thank jack manifold, for getting you on that grind ;)

guys im back, still a little sick, but we prevail 💪

cant stop that jack manifold grind 😉

im so sorry the ending sucks butt, im so tired and want to nap, so the 5 of yall that read this will have to live

#ted nivison #youtube #schlattslonghairytoes #chuckle sandwich #jack manifold #jack manifold grind #ted nivision smut #ted nivision x reader #ted nivison imagine #chuckle sammy

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badasgirlfriend · 2 years ago

Note

hi I love your jesse Swanson x reader stories. Loved them!! If you're still doing requests, could I request a jesse Swanson x reader where the reader is also a singer and is in the bellas and do the part in pitch perfect 1 where they do the riff off and Jesse sings feels like the first time and do the reader rapping instead of beca?

Pretty Boy | Jesse Swanson

pairing: jesse swanson x fem!reader

fandom: pitch perfect

a/n: hii thank u for the req and sorry for taking so long i was ia for a bit, i only changed the ending bc i dont like the song because beca raps (dont attack me) hope u like it<3

"Come on, sing along," Chloe chirped, gesturing for Y/N to join the Bellas as they prepared. Y/N just shook her head, feeling anxious, riff of, what they called it wasn't her thing. But Chloe didn't seem to notice.

"Nah, I'm good," Y/N said, attempting to be polite. Chloe just nodded in response and flashed a smile of support as she joined her friends

Y/N noticed Jesse gazing at her, and she stared right back with a curious expression. Jesse cracked a mischievous smile, then madr a thumbs-down gesture and mouthed, "You're going down."

Y/N giggled as she let loose a playful blow kiss right at him. only for him to catch the kiss midair and press it against his heart

Y/N was relieved that it was night and that Jesse was too far away from her to notice her blushing. But this exchange had not gone unnoticed by Aubrey, who had been watching their whole interaction from the beginning.

"Go, Stacy!" She cheered for her closest friend as she stole the spotlight from Donald. Everyone's eyes were on her

"Baby, all through the night I'll make love to you," Fat Amy chimed in, but Jesse stepped in front of her, stopping her mid-song.

"And I guess it's just the woman in you," he sang, making the Belles groan. The rest of the group made their way to their designated spots, grumbling in protest.

"That brings out the man in me" he pointed at Y-Y/N smiling

"Idiot" she muttered trying to hide her grin

"It feels like the first time" he continued singing, opening his jacket to show his chest. He placed his hand on his heart just like before and winked at her

"Feels like the very first time"

Y/N didn't understand where her newfound confidence was coming from, but she suspected the drinks she had earlier might be playing a part. Yet, she was also convinced Jesse was behind her feelings. Without giving it any thought, she charged towards Jesse, eager to take advantage of the moment.

"it feels like the first time-"

"It's like everytime they turn the lights down," Y/N cut him off with a sly smirk and Jesse's eyes widened in amusement. He backed away and gave Y/N the spotlight with a round of applause. "just wanna go that extra mile for you"

She looked at the crowd and everyone was staring at her confused, even the Bellas.

'extra mile..?" Aubrey muttered trying to remember the song

Y/N was now regretting her decision as everyones eyes were on her, even the Bellas weren't backing her up

'Seriously does no one know this song' she thought to herself

Jesse's encouraging smile gave her the confidence she needed to dive back into the song "Go on,"

"We can get down," Y/N sang, now more in tune "Like there's no one around"

Amy and Stacey both gasped as they began to understand what Y/N was singing. Stacey had already joined in the song, her voice perfectly harmonizing with Y/N's. The two Belles' vocals blended together seamlessly, now with Amy joining them

"We keep on rockin' we keep on rockin"

"Cameras are flashin'" Amy made camera noises towards Emma and Stacey as they grinded on each other "while we're dirty dacing"

Jesse let out a sharp "woah" as Emma danced. One of the Treblemakers patted Jesse's shoulder in encouragement. Jesse didn't care about the outcome of the competition; if losing meant he got to see Y/N like this, he would willingly come up as the losing team every time.

In his eyes, Y/N was breathtakingly beautiful. Every laugh was like a melodic refrain that made his heart race a bit faster. His eyes were glued to her every movement, especially the graceful twirls that she would execute.

"They keep watchin' they keep watchin" The rest of the Bellas all joined in, singing the lyrics with the trio, except for Audrey, who seemed oblivious to the song.

Seeing as the crowd was completely caught up in Y/N's performance, she turned towards them and sang in a louder voice, "Feels like the crowd is saying", prompting the audience to join in with

"Gimme, gimme, more gimme more gimme more." Y/N beamed in satisfaction as everyone joined in and sang along with her.

"Anddd, we're out" Y/' said as they finished the song, everyone clapping and cheering. Jesse laughed joining the applause. Before he could say anything the MC came

"Okay funs over sorry laddies the word you needed to match was 'It' not 'It's'. You are CUT OFF" he shouted and the trebles cheered

"What when did that rule happen" Chloe shouted

"Whatever stupid riff off"

Y/N smiled, her expression showing no sign of disappointment. As she saw Jesse in the crowd, she sent a warm, appreciative smile and said, "Congratulations, pretty boy."

Jesse grinned mischievously and replied, "Does the winner get a gift?"

"You wish" Y/N rolled her eyes

This was the moment, Jesse thought to himself, the perfect instant to ask Y/N out. "Hey, I was wondering if maybe..."

But before he could finish, Audrey abruptly interrupted, "Y/N! We have to go."

Disappointed with the interruption, Jesse turned to Audrey, his expression one of annoyance.

"Sorry, chief's calling," she said with a light chuckle

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked

"Definitely," Y/N replied,

Y/N followed Audrey and then suddenly stopped, turning to face Jesse once again "Jesse," she breathed, her eyes shining with determination.

With swiftness, she leaned in towards Jesse and planted a brief kiss on his cheek, leaving him completely stunned and unable to hide his flush of surprise.

"Good night"

As Y/N hurried away, Jesse was left standing there, his face flushed with surprise. His hand was still covering the spot on his cheek where the unexpected kiss landed he murmured to himself

"Good night... fucking hell." He shook his head the grin never leaving his face

#jesse swanson pitch perfect #pitch perfect #jesse swanson #jesse swanson x reader #jesse swanson x y/n #jesse swanson fic #jesse swanson imagine #pitch perfect fanfiction #pitch perfect imagine #skylar astin

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ajortga · 1 year ago

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the alcohol effect

pairing: vada cavell x fem reader

summary: vada was expecting to get wasted at the party and have you whine, not the other way around and run after you while you get drunk for the first time in your relationship.

word count: 1.8k+

a/n: sorry for not posting! just wanted to say that i'll be taking requests now! there were some where i just had no motivation because there were no ideas of how the plot would go so i decided to just not write until i had an idea for that! enjoy<3

Wind blew in your air as you peeked your head out of the window as Vada drove 5 miles over the speed limit, your screams of the lyrics being heard to the people that the car swished against.

Vada looks at you, wiggling her eyebrows when she makes it to your stop, shifting out of her seat and opening your car door.

"C'mon, don't want to let them have fun without us right?" She says, a silly smile played on her face as you rolled your eyes and took her hand.

Music made the house shake and the concrete vibrate against your shoes. You were at least ten yards away, you looked up at Vada and she gave you a reassuring ruffle in the hair.

"Just stay with me and we'll be okay, okay?"

A smile creeps on your face as you nod slowly, Vada opening the door for the two of you, "Okay baby."

The first hour of the party you and Vada's friend hosted was going well. You stayed by Vada's side the whole time and cuddled into her lap while making conversation with Mia and Nick, laughing the night away. The second hour you drank a little alcohol, a smirk playing on your lips after you lost a game.

Vada felt a slight shift in your demeanor not long after as you pulled her aside and made out in the corner of the couch for long moments, your hungry lips devouring hers as your legs wrapped around her waist.

She could get used to this as her hand creeped against your bare back, caressing your naked skin.

The brunette regretted pulling away from your lips and hushed you, telling you she had to go to the bathroom and talk to Mia for a moment.

15 minutes passed and your hair was ruffled, eyes dilated and red hot cheeks. You sipped your alcohol, talking with Nick in a slurred voice.

"..this is bUBbbly!" you say, your voice going high and low as you sip it and make a small tiny burp. "Eww... That was gross." You said, looking at Nick with an accusing glare.

Nick slaps your shoulder, "You burped! What the hell are you looking at me for?"

"Nuh uh. That was you, I can smell your ragged breath from here."

"Y/N I swear to-"

The world was spinning as you babble and interrupt him.

5 minutes you were arguing with Nick about knowing that it was he who was the one who took your favorite stuffed animal in second grade. Then the next 5 minutes you crossed your arms and rotted in the corner, sniffling and making cries about how you missed your girlfriend.

"Y/N it's fine. Vada will be back soon."

"But I want her now."

"I'll text her in ten minutes-"

"No! NOW!" You whine, kicking your feet impatiently as you glare at him, sniffling. You didn't understand. Did Vada not want to see you? The alcohol was making your brain go haywire.

"Does she not love me?.." You say, looking like you made a conclusion as tears glistened in the pupils of your eyes.

"Oh lord." He says, pulling out his phone.

nick: send immediate help

nick: mayday mayday

vada: wut happened

vada: huhh

vada: nick

nick: your GIRLFRIEND happened dumbass. your clingy girlfriend won't stop her stupid whining and complaining.

nick: come rn shes

nick: SHES TRYING TO TAKE AWAY MY PHONE THIS IS AN EMERAGYCNAY

nick: POLICE POLICE SHES TAKING MY PHONE MAYDAY

vada: LMAOO im coming wya and don't call her a dumbass you stupid baotch

vada: nick?

vada: bruh

nick: vady bear! hi babye! i miss you! the world is spinning aORUnd!

vada: Y/N?

nick: vada!! i lobe you i lve you i lovae you i love you! can you come back baby i miss you im so lonely and nick made me think you hated me.

vada: hi baby, of course i dont i love you more than anything i'm coming right now

nick: acn we make uout when you come?

vada: are you really that drunk?

nick: ????

vada: yes we can kiss whatever and however much you want

nick: Yes yay:D

vada: where are you?

vada: baby???

nick: your girlfriend just snatched my damn phone from me pls help couches in the living room she desperately needs you om

Vada was only gone for seventeen minutes and fifty four seconds to see you on the couch, slurring to Nick inaudible words with a flushed face as he tried to calm you down.

"Oh my god," she mumbles to herself as she makes your way towards you. She's never seen you drunk.

You flop onto the couch, sipping on more alcohol as she approached closer, taking it out of your hand as you didn't process she was there.

"Hey! That's my dri- oh MY god! HI baby!" You squeal, your teary eyes immediately lighting up as you make grabby arms.

Vada giggles, liking the way that your eyes light up only for her as she bends down and hugs you, kissing the nape of your temple. Your lips part in a smiley grin as you curl up into her chest.

"Baaaa baaa baaahhhh.. Yahh yahh yahh." You mumble against her, your non-stop giggling never faltering.

"Love, I'd love to keep having our cuddle session, but how much did you drink."

"THERES A PIG!" You scream, not taking in Vada's question as she gets a little startled by your sudden scream.

"There's no pig," she says, stroking your hair as you kick your feet.

You point at Nick, "Yes there is! Right there!" You keep shaking your hands in accusation as Nick stares at you, his lips wide open and looking offended.

Vada laughs hard as she covers your eyes, "I think you drank enough for tonight, don't want you to insult anyone or me."

"Mmm.. No baby.. You got it all wrong. I think you're soooooo.. soo pretty. Hi baby! Hi hi hi hi hi hi HI!" You giggle, hugging her, "I just want to hug you like my stuffy every single day!"

Your girlfriend blushes, finding how you were so sweet when you were drunk.

"I love youu," she says softly, kissing the top of your head.

"No, I love YOU more!" you demand, scrunching your nose as you make a movement with your hands to annunciate just how much you love her. "You smell good. I love you! I just love you! I love you I love you I love you-wait no. Can we kiss and cuddle and hug and and.. and. OH! And get married too?"

Vada can't help but laugh and nod, "Yes we can kiss and cuddle and hug and get married." As she spoken, she realized you weren't listening as you still rambled.

"Yes yes, yay yes! And then we can have a puppy. Then a bunny. I want the floppy ear bunny. Not the fat ones. And then we can have babies! Baby kitties. You are so pretty! Do you know that? Kiss me!" You say, your voice desperate and all adorable as Vada smiles against your lips and kisses you softly, making your body melt against hers.

She feels your nose bury against the nestle of her neck as she cuddles you closely, "You doing okay? You must've drunk a lot tonight. You're a warrior."

Vada was really expecting you to be the one taking care of her when she was drunk but here you were, kissing her everywhere.

She could hear your lips kiss her nose, cheek, forehead, neck, nipping softly at her shoulder as you kiss her lips over and over again.

"You are the prettiest girl I've ever seen!!!" You squeal, kissing her over and over again.

"You are so beautiful baby. You know that."

You aren't listening, letting her ruffle your hair as you cup her cheeks and kiss her continuously. Vada talked to her friends and looking at them to show her attention as you were looking at her, staring.

Admiration showed in your features, your eyes sparkling and lips slightly parted as you tilt your head and look at her pretty freckles and eyes.

"You're beautiful. I love you." You slur quietly, quiet enough for her not to hear as she continued to talk and smile at you.

After a few hours, she was exhausted, in a good way. She was chasing you because you were screaming and running after someone with a burrito and were hungry. Then dancing and running out of energy so she had to carry you like a baby as you slept, you were finally home.

You were curled up in the passenger seat, asleep as Vada quietly opened the door and picked you up, seeing the way you made gentle snores as your head subconsciously laid against her chest. You made a soft murmur as you curled to cuddle more to her.

She opened her door and changed you into your sweatpants and her favorite oversized sweater, then placed you on the bed with care.

She put the blanket over you and wanted to get some water for you. But just as she was getting up, you made a soft whisper.

"Baby.. Stay. Don't leave me."

She saw the way you looked at her with such innocence, your eyes looking like they would tear up if she said no.

"But don't you want water sweetheart?" She says, coming back and stroking your hair back.

"I want your cuddles more."

"You're still thirsty, baby. What about you count to 15 and I'll be back. Okay?"

You made a sad frown, then hesitantly nodded as you sniffled.

"15 seconds my ass." You said, you wanted your girlfriend. You wanted cuddles. You squeezed your eyes shut. You just wanted her warmth.. Her-

"I'm here, see that wasn't so bad hm?" The brunette whispers to the crest of your ear, placing down a water bottle and lifting the blanket before crawling into bed with you.

"Hush, I'm here. Go to bed baby. Rest," she whispers, her voice soft like a gentle lullaby, shushing you to sleep as she enveloped you with warmth.

You looked into her eyes, mesmerized, like she was a masterpiece as she took her fingers, and shut them.

Her gentle, soft whispers and eternal warmth made your eyes flutter closed. Her beautiful figure becoming unfocused. Her arms wrapped around you in a protective embrace, kissing your forehead over and over as you begun to fall asleep.

"Baby?.." You whispered, barely audible, about to fall asleep.

"Yes my pretty star?"

"I really love you." You say, honestly.

"I know you do. And I hope you know I love you much more."

You couldn't argue with that, because as she looked down, there you were, head nestled into her chest, asleep in her arms.

Cute, she thought, smiling as she kissed you and hummed softly, falling asleep not long after.

#vada cavell x reader #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega imagine #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader #tara carpenter x you #jenna ortega x y/n #vada cavell x y/n #jenna marie ortega #vada cavell x you #jenna ortega imagines

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oacest · 3 months ago

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Hi! I'm a big fan of your blog! I just this past week got into the gallaghers after stumbling across them on ao3. Every time I think i've found everything, a new surprising factoid comes out of the woodwork. They are so in love its inane and frankly quite worrying. I cannot believe more people dont see it with how obvious they're being.

That being said, I've noticed a thing about one of Liam's tweets and a song lyric he wrote. I cant find the tweet at the moment, but it's the one where someone asks if he loves Noel and Liam responds "yes I love him is that such a crime". I was listening to GGTIA and realized the lyrics "I'd get round to loving you, is that such a crime?" sounded awful familiar...He must have taken that response right from the song lol. Which makes me feel some sort of way. Especially with how awful (glorious) GGTIA is. The whole song is clearly a love song and yet Liam wrote it for Noel. And now Liam references his own song to say yes, he does love Noel.

God, I love them.

omg ahhhh congrats, welcome!! the first "wait.. hold on. wait wtf?? this can't be true.. oh jesus it's getting worse🤯" stage of getting into Them is a powerful powerful drug and tbh it never loses strength. we've been on this grind full-time for a year now (really no time at all in the grand scheme) and every day we're still going "holy shit WAIT WHAT??" about some new insane thing. (also how did you inadvertently stumble upon them on ao3?? what a trip.)

re liam's uhhh Everything. i regret(?) to inform you that ggtia is barely scratching the surface lol. the "crime" stuff in particular goes way deeper than that, ggtia is just one of many references back to a central core of sus shit. noel is a much worse offender in this arena actually. beyond his multiple ""jokes"" in the press about being attracted to/having sex with liam and the legality thereof, his most egregious act was writing this song, a demo nominally called "it's a crime" by fans bc he never actually released or named it, someone just leaked it in 2000. he later rewrote it and it became "let there be love," a trajectory we can all speculate on till the cows come home. he has since denied remembering this song even exists. (if you haven't clocked this yet, he's a pathological recreational liar and also has crazy bad memory issues, so even odds on whether this is true or not.)

also idk if you've dipped into any of liam's solo music or not, but ggtia was Baby's First Steps in terms of writing lovesick songs about one's brother. i can't necessarily recommend liam's music on any basis other than it being kinda catchy and p much all of it being incest anthems, so ymmv on enjoyment factor, but here's a brief playlist of SOME OF his more astonishing entries in the "im madly in love with my brother who hates me" oeuvre. (and then go watch the music video for "one of us," which might be the most excruciatingly raw thing anyone's ever done for an audience of millions, and is crammed beyond capacity with References.) there are a few of noel's songs on this playlist too, the ones i personally think are about liam, but diagnosing noel's music is a completely different exercise than diagnosing liam's. noel's very circumspect and art-first about his music, whereas it's pretty safe to assume most of liam's songs are explicitly about noel. the only one on this playlist with some potential wiggle room is "for what it's worth," which liam once claimed wasn't about noel, however his alternative very vague explanation was that it was possibly about his ex wife. which under the circumstances didn't really make sense. imo he just got a little embarrassed and backpedalled under scrutiny. here is noel acknowledging his awareness that all liam's songs are about him lol.

anyway! liam's a magical boy who believed in himself and never gave up and relentlessly wooed his big brother with mid music for years until that shit finally worked, so let this be a lesson to us all. NEVER have dignity, NEVER say die, ALWAYS kiss your brother on the mouth in public. the universe loves you 💖💖💖

#communiques #blogger two editing the tags to just add a disclaimer that she actually likes liam's music and that blogger one's opinions are her own lol

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ice-eise-babyy · 1 year ago

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Pure | JB.B - Drabble

Pairing: 40's!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader (ft. Pre-serum!Steve Rogers)

Summary: a very drunk bucky who refuses to leave the pub with a 'crazy lady' a.k.a his girlfriend.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol but other than that, its mainly just fluff guys

A/N: I dont even know if this is any good but i hope you guys enjoy it <33

You would be lying if you said you didn't want to hurl something—anything— at Steve's head right at this moment. It's almost 10:00 p.m and instead of being in bed drifting off to sleep, you were currently out in the streets of Brooklyn on the way to a pub, who wouldn't want to hurl someone in the head with something?

"I'm really sorry y/n. I really wouldn't have woken you up if—" Steve's 20th apology this night was shortly cut of as you gave him a sideward glare. You felt slightly guilty after doing so, knowing that you were pinning this on him even though you were partially at fault.

If you had agreed to Bucky early this morning then you probably wouldn't be awake at this unforsaken hour. You probably wouldn't have Steve throwing rocks at your window to wake you up, and you probably wouldn't be walking to a pub to pick up your boyfriend who apparently refused to leave because he wanted to see you. You sighed, recollecting the conversation you had with him earlier today.

—

"But y/n..." you rolled your eyes at his dramatic whining. "Bucky, you're just going to spend the day with Steve. It's not the end of the world." You had been convincing him to spend more time with steve for almost a week now mainly because he has been spending most of his time with you, even sleeping at your apartment. The reason being he had to leave for wisconsin in 2 days because of military training.

As much as you want to grab bucky's face in your hands and look him in the eye while saying 'i also want to spend the day with you' and have him to yourself, you knew that if you do that you would be selfish. You knew that he might end up regretting not spending more time with Steve before leaving, he just probably haven't realized that yet.

"Can you atleast come with us, doll?"

"No, Bucky. absolutely not. if i come with you, you'd probably ignore Steve the whole time."

—

You smoothed out your Navy colored dress before shoving your white gloves deep in the pocket of your coat. You slowly walked in when Steve opened the door of the pub entrance for you. There weren't much people, mostly just soldiers who came back from war or just men in general. Your eyes darted around the place and a sigh of relief fell from your lips as your eyes landed on Bucky. He was sitting on one of the stools with only his side facing you, his forehead pressed on the bar counter as he looked down at his hands that were resting on his lap, he was humming a familiar song as he did so. He was looking at his hands like it was the most interesting thing to ever exist. His eyes wide and his lips pursed. You felt a warmth in your chest as you peered at his drunken state for a few beats longer. He was out for only a few hours and to you it also felt like just a few hours but to your heart... to your heart it felt like so long, long enough to have it yearning for him. yearning for his touch, his voice, his love...

You sighed once more as you sat down right beside him. He paid you no attention, eyes still on his hand and still humming the same song. Your lips tugged into a smile as you realized what song he was humming. It was 'when you wish upon a star' by glenn miller. It was the song playing when you had danced with him for the first time.

"Bucky?"

"Go away miss. I have a girlfriend" he was so quick to turn you away, mistaking you for another woman because he haven't looked at you once. This sparked an idea. A funny and harmless one.

"Oh, you do? too bad."

"Yeah, too bad for you— *hic* not for me. I'm happy where i am."

"Really? tell me then, mister. How is she like?"

He still hasn't looked at you. In his head he thought that there was no point in looking at other women because those other woman aren't even you. the only problem was it was you but of course he didn't know that yet. A wide smile adorned his face as he heard your words. Oh boy was he excited to brag about you.

"She is amazing. Words would never ever be enough to describe her beauty. It's unparalleled— *hic* and it's not... not just her face that's beautiful," even though you couldn't see the entirety of his face you didn't fail to notice the dreamy smile tugging in the corner of his lips, "Her soul as well and her smile— oh her smile... it just makes me— *hic* make me warm in here..." his hand pressed on his chest and gripped it like he was trying his best to pull his heart out just to show you where exactly he felt the warmth. "I really really want to marry her but she said that— *hic* i gotta win the war first... Stupid fucking nazi's" his fists clenched as he muttered that last words.

Your bottom lip found its way between your teeth as you tried to hold back your laughter. This was a rare sight to see your boyfriend all dazed while talking about you. Sure he was vocal about how he felt for you. He would always say how much he loves you or how beautiful you are but... you never expected that this is how he would talk about you to other people.

"That's really cute but we really gotta go home y/n. The pub's closing" Steve's voice dripped with sarcasm as he popped up from behind you before walking over to Bucky and patting him by the shoulder.

"Bucky, we gotta get you home.." you said but he just shook his head. he finally looked up but instead of looking at you, his gaze landed on the skinny little man in front of him. "Steve! you gotta help me man. That crazy lady's trying to take me home!" he said with genuine fear and panic in his eyes before standing up and gripping steve by the shoulder, his index finger pointed towards you who was sitting behind Steve. Steve doubled over as he laughed at him and Bucky tilted his head, confused as to why his friend would laugh at such a 'serious' situation.

"Bucky, that's your girlfriend." Steve bursted out laughing again as he saw Bucky's face contorting with a confused expression before looking at you who sat behind Steve. His eyes went wide and his jaw went slack when he realized, It was you!

"my god! it is!" he practically shoved Steve away just to rush over to you and get a clearer view of you. His hands flew to the sides of your face forcing you to looking up at him. he gave you a quick peck on the lips, an ecstatic smile adorning his face as he pulled away. His breath smelled of beer and maraschino cherries. He picked you up and spun you around the moment you stood up.

—

The three of you are now walking back to Steve and Bucky's shared apartment. Bucky's left arm was draped around Steve's shoulder to help himself as he walked sloppily while his other arm was swinging back and forth as he intertwined your fingers together. the way he looked at your hands with such adoration made your heart melt and maybe even made you realize that it is possible to fall inlove with the same person over and over again...

"y/n..."

"Hmm?"

"I may be tipsy with the beer and grenadine, but..." he paused for a moment when he heard you giggle. it was funny to you because 'tipsy' was probably an understatement, "I meant everything I said... I really want to marry you... wait for me til I get back from war... okay?" his voice was small and it sounded so innocent. There were hundreds— maybe even thousands— of words that would be perfect to describe Bucky's love fore you but 'pure' was the most accurate one out of all of them. His love was pure...

"I will, bucky..."

but he never did...

#bucky barnes #james barnes #bucky x reader #fluff #steve rogers #third wheel #drabble #drunk #bucky x you

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meowdom · 5 days ago

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the doozerville server o7my pov and some funny screenshots from chat with foosh and with clown

ive spent the last 4 days playing minecraft on the doozervile server (with some damage to my irl responsibilities but u kno......)

ive just grinded for gear and potions

I gave pili the netherite sword called GLIP GLORP HURRAY and he had it with him until he logged off today <3 i also gave him and other heroes potions like speed fire res strengh etc. later there was made an auto brewer but i enjoyed being hands on on my production. i constantly gathered gunpowder to make all of the splash

first day i spend too much time brewing i was too late to an actual fight with clown vs the whole ass server LOL but i did find his latest tunnel and got deepslate that was mined by him, what a shame nobody bought it om

when i got my fullly enchanted fully trimmed beautiful netherite armour I lost it in a fight with terrorists like an hour later LMAO. was trying to fend off the villager trading hall when terrorists first showed up at it and killed villagers on the first layer.

next day i grinded for fully and even better enchanted armour and again lost it in fight for villager hall.

I still miss my netherite with flow and bolt white trims armour

I am NOT a pvper but most of what i did on the server was about getting it together for fighting back. good armour, good sword, ender pearls, potions, etc. losing all of it in a minute o7 shout out to my insta harm 2 potions that i have no idea whether or not they were even good because nobody else uses them and people dont usually use those in min maxed pvp. im so bad at pvp but this server def inspired me more for learning... got killed by clown ferre and other terrorist

no thoughts in their heads btw --->

hang out with a good fwiend, saw a lot of tankies and even though they prob didnt recognise me cuz my twitch name and mc name are different it was still fun :D

in the end today i just had basic diamond armor and a bunch of blocks and the moment i spawned on the end island i bolted in one direction with the thought of finding other islands and potentially end city while others fought. thought about making the flying machine, but with the constant lag on the sever it was too risky. kinda regret not even seeing the dragon but i did finish the bridge to an island. decided to chill at spawn instead of looking for elytra tho lol

got a screenie with the dude too :3

the only thing i build on this server is an armadillo xp farm (that i used SO sparingly in fear of lagging the server even more (today they deleted armadillos while i was using it so ig i shouldnt do it again)) (i will still try, sorry mayors) and a tomb over the farm

all in all im still afk in a skeleton xp farm as im writing this and im gonna hang out on the server tomorrow too. as its gonna be the last day i'll just wear my third set of netherite trimmed armour and hang out. maybe build a little thing.

its honestly so fun, ive been looking for a server to play on for so long and this scractched the itch so good (im hyperfixated and it affected my work and my health and thats crazy but i try not to be too harsh on myself for that jaja

doozerville is so unique in the way its limited in players (makes griefers and just bad dudes rarer than could be on open servers) and in that foolish just wanted to see hi "ant-farm" get destroyed by clown and co because he's a reactor and a god. but most of all doozerville is unique in fact its a server FULL of builders. from the moment the server opened people started spreading their marks in different directions with their builds. its so impressive how each day there was another little plot of land occupying spawner within 500 blocks. i have a map mod and when u look at it its SO impressive/ SO SO COOL! the border is just 2k blocks so most of people had at least a little something of their own, or always had place at public places like the bridge or the hall or anything else.

im not a builder but the energy on the server is so inspiring, maybe gonna build something after all

isnt it so funny how doozers just wanted to chill and build but we had a constant threat of terrorist clown over our heads? 150 builders vs clownpierce sounds insane and like a made up yt video, it isnt tho. cant wait to watch it and listen to clown&co call us stupid for everything we did wrong withing context of defending om

SO happy tubbo and foolish just randomly decided to open a server for community out of nowhere. this woudlnt be possible without play.hosting and tubbo's pasion for everything mc servers. CANNOT WAIT for the plans foolish has about doing another mc server, wether that be some kind of civilization gimmick or something else.

#doozerville #foolish #foolishg

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clownery-and-fuckery · 1 year ago

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Alright buckle up here's my actual genuine reaction....

First episode:

First of all, I regret asking for more Hemlock, this was fantastically awful, I will not be recovering.

Second of all, that shaved clone has done things to me. Horrible, horrid things that made me actually pause it and look away. It made me physically ill, it was the worst. Great, but the worst.

The passage of time really did fucking get to me BUT HER LITTLE PONYTAIL UGH

crosshair..... I need a moment

EMERIE !!!! CANT STAND HER !!!!!!!!!!! SNITCH ASS BITCH

I literally don't care that she was allowed to keep the doll, btw. I dont give a shit. I hope Emerie dies in a fire.

nala se.... ew............

I think the whole episode was just pure horror, it was so fucking disgusting to watch, idk about you guys but watching the clone who had probably faced the true horror of SCI-FI warfare crying alone in his cell genuinely had me pausing the episode. Really great work there, Jennifer, I will be billing you for my therapy

Crosshair and Omega bonding !!! The little "What's your mission objective" was definitely a tactic he used on his brothers to have them pay attention, I refuse to acknowledge that he's the youngest, he just isn't. That's big brother keeping his little brother(s) on task behaviour.

Everything about Hemlock gave me chills. I love him. I hate him. I hope his guts cover the screen. I am fascinated by him.

I had a sneaking suspicion Emerie was taken under Hemlock's wing, and her undoing will be her endless loyalty to him... they did not have to say it as obviously as that, though. Glad they did.

Crosshair is sick. There is no way you show us all these sick, dying clones then Crosshair and expect us not to figure that out. He's going to die. His shaking is just the first symptom. I am not ready.

I definitely have more smaller notes I will make once I am not sobbing hysterically about it !!!!

Episode two!!:

This is the one that made me cry, actually.

Watching Wrecker and Hunter march in, quiet and covered in countless injuries, made me so sad. I couldnt recognise them. Those aren't my lads.

Wrecker begging hunter not to go because people didn't make it back.... hunter I get you're desperate, but you will NOT survive another brother being killed. I can't bear to watch him tear himself apart and neither can Wrecker.

WEEPED LIKE AN ACTUAL BABY WHEN I SAW THOSE CLONE BABIES.... THEYRE TOO YOUNG.

"99ers???" THERES FUCKING MORE ??????? I want to know the lore behind this line particularly.

Theyre so cute..... they're so CUTE ugh sedate me immediately

THE WAY HUNTER WAS LOST AT THE START BTW WITH THE TECH AND HE WAS GETTING FRUSTRATED AND HE IMMEDIATELY LOOKED TO OMEGAS STUFF AND LET HIS GRIP LOOSEN ON THE DATAPAD HE WSS THINKING OF HIS YOUNGEST TWO SIBLINGS I WILL NEVER FUCKING RECOVER DAVID AND JENNIFER LET THEM BE HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways that little fucker who was good with tech..... I see you. I love you.

They were so used to letting Tech do his thing.... they immediately moved to cover fire....... for a second they forgot it wasnt him, I'm weak

THE CRATE FROM S1 YOU HORRIBLE BASTARDS WHEN WILL YOU LET ME DIE

wrecker playing with the kids..... laughing with them....... ohh i will not cope when he dies.

Hes going to die, btw. In case you didn't know. I know. I am aware. I am unprepared. I dont want to discuss it.

PABU..... THEYRE GOING TO PABU WHEN I TELL YOU I SOBBED. MY MOTHER HAD TO HOLD ME. I WAS INCONSOLABLE FOR FIFTEEN WHOLE MINUTES!!!!!!

i cannot express my feelings for this episode.

Episode three!!!!!!:

I want that man. Yes, i do mean that masked man we saw for two seconds, I want him.

The Emperor had me actually screaming. I was so hyped. He scares me so bad.

Hemlock!!!!!! Evil !!!!!!!! CUNT !!!!!!!!!!!!

nala se was so obvious about her "Get tf out" speech..... why don't you say it louder, the whole fucking room couldn't hear you

The fucking timer. Chills. CHILLS.

Crosshair and Omega !!!! He was so unserious I love that

....sorry to all the lovers tho, have to say i DIED laughing at his "gUaRdS"

And the SCREAM he scrumpt when the door opened, who allowed that 😭😭 it was so fucking funny whbeisbwiba

They were so messy this entire ep, they're everything to me......

"Of course he did" DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING DIE ?!?!?!? WHO FUCKING GAVE YOU THE RIGHT CAUSE IT WASNT FUCKING ME

Crosshairs trigger finger shaking so bad he gave his position away....... that's a major fucking problem, isn't it? That's gonna bite him in the ass.

I want more of Hemlock having a damn tantrum, that was fantastic. Him this season has me in a chokehold. I can't wait to write more of him.

This entire season so far is amazing. I can't wait to watch more, there are so many more points I wanna make, I'm freaked. I'm so happy, I'm still crying, I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Making more coherent thoughts about them soon <3

#the bad batch #tbb crosshair #tbb wrecker #tbb hunter #tbb omega #tbb hemlock #the bad batch spoilers #sw tbb spoilers

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lynn-tged-posting · 8 months ago

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tged webtoon ep 158 spoilers and thoughts but mostly it's just me laughing my ass off and also speculating on what happens, im still working on the novel but ill finish it soon trust <- has like ten billion different things she wants to do at the same time

ARCOS AND MARBELLA IN THIS PANEL WAS ME FOR MOST IF NOT ALL OF THIS CHAPTER HELPPP LMFAOAOOO

javier you absolute fiend you ,,, you've learned so much,,, /aff

i figured that javier would tell them at least a semi-truth, or something like that to tide over the count/countess,,, their expressions here made me so worried for a moment,,,

LIKE THESE UUAGHGHHGHGHHHH that kind of anticipation is terrifying tbh like "has our son been dead this whole time, have we been living w someone else??" and the imminent grief looming over that thought i think got translated really well here the blank irises and the shadowed face im so ,,,, ueueueueueue

AND THEN TO GET HIT WITH THIS

HELP MEEEE HAHAHAHA BRAZEN JAVIER ROBOFACED JAVIER ITS REAL HES REAL LMFAOAOOOOO

OF ALL THE THINGS JAVIER COULD HAVE DONE TO GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION HE DECIDED TO EMULATE LLOYD I GIGGLED SO BAD I STARTED COUGHING

AND THE FULL COMMITMENT TOO TO THE BIT AND MAKING IT SEEM LIKE HE'S MORE FOULMOUTHED THAN HE LETS ON . AND SINCE JAVIER IS NORMALLY SO DEADPAN IT JUST. WORKS I GUESS HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS CRAZY

insane genuinely fucking insane i couldn't stop laughing HAHAHAHAA like this is completely absurd but the fact that it's coming from javier, someone who the count and countess completely trust at the moment, someone who's been by lloyd's side this whole time,,, PELASE HAHAHFHADHFDHSHAHA

the count and countess reacting too got me giggling a storm HAHA

also also early webtoon lloyd makes an appearance again i think it's really fun that the artist gives him the hairstyle from back then, before they changed his hairstyle heehee

oh his undershirt is also missing that X that's usually there in the current tged style too i didnt notice that at first but another little callback!!!

AND THEN JAVIER FINISHING OFF THE BIT WITH. SEPPUKU??? WHAT THE HELL ALDKFJLSDKJF ?!?!?!

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THIS LIKE HE DIDNT HAVE TO but i guess it did kind of knock the count/countess out of their stupor bc by seeing something so insane from javier they think javier rlly regrets giving lloyd BRAIN DAMAGE LAKJDFSHDF FUCKING BRAIN DAMAGE

i did see some ppl say that its kind of odd that they thank javier for this and thats fair yeah i dont think id be ok w finding out "oh one of my loved ones gave another one of my loved ones MEMORY LOSS"

but i think it could be that they're relieved to find out (or are inclined to believe) that their lloyd is "still alive" - he's just changed, not dead (except he is dead, so javier succeeded in fooling them without telling very severe lies)

honestly with how their expressions were they were probably expecting the worst, esp w all the evidence stacked against lloyd. can u imagine that despair, realizing that the person you've finally come to love is not the person you thought they were?? that the person you thought you had a second chance with, wasn't that person at all? i bet all those regrets were washing over the count and countess all at once,,, and then the relief that comes when it's revealed (when they're lead to believe) that no, it's the same person. this second chance was with the same lloyd, not someone else. that's still their son. oooooh imagine the relief, the realization that you don't have to mourn, you don't have to grieve for a death that happened under your nose

i think that's why they reacted this way, instead of worrying over javier wacking lloyd upside the head; like, what matters now is that lloyd frontera is alive (to them) and that both lloyd and javier have grown and changed themselves and the estate for the better. that the child and the knight they raised have a bright future and isn't that what any parent wants?

tho ofc they dont realize that their assumption is not the truth, but well they dont need to know that,,, for everyones sakes,,, nice play javier

when lloyd shows up and we saw this panel i thought we were gonna have a nice moment between the two of them where lloyd thanks javier for covering for him and hiding the truth but then-

THESE TWO FUCKING IDIOTS HAHAHAHAHAHA /AFF

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO DEVIOUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

and then lloyds conversation with the count/countess after PLEASE

yknow this is kind of like that bargaining strategy where you propose something completely absurd and crazy so that the other party says no, but then you offer your real request that is objectively tasking but the other party thinks of it as lesser than the former request so they'll grant it . whatever the heck that strat is called thats what this feels like HAHAHAHA

AND ARCOS TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR LLOYD AND

AHFGSDLJKFSDGHH THRTHOWS UP

lloyd says "all i need is for you to stay healthy" and god that fucking. hurts ouw ouuuhhh owiee oww BUDDY U CAN HAVE BOTH U CAN PROTECT UR FAMILY WHILE ALSO RELYING ON THEM!!! LLOYD!!! LLLOOOYYYDDD

and yet of course this is smth that suho!lloyd would say ,,, he wasnt able to help his parents w their struggles back then but now he can and now it's all he wants to do ,,, i cant even explain how emo this exchange makes me i can't quite put it into words even after a whole day of sitting on this,,, especially after the events of 157 like lloyd im worried abt u!! he doesnt even realize he doesnt even realize the overwork the possible spiral that can come from trying to preserve this aghhh AAGGHHH

sorry for losing it anyways moving on, the title effects linking yippie!!! it was super fun seeing all the teams and all the people he's brought together,,, truly this was our greatest estate development /j

ALSO JAVIER BEING BY HIMSELF ON A TEAM LMFAOOOO "the team that does everything" HAHAHAHAHA

AND THEN AND THEN the last reveal of this episode THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN HELLO!@?!?!??!@?!?@?!@! OH MY GOD

raphael looks a litte different here i could've sworn he was a turtle /j

BUT YEAH HOLY SHIT WOW i mean it makes sense, if theres a hell theres probably a heaven, and there was that line that javier said where he was like "alicia liking lloyd is more ridiculous than suho actually being an archangel" MAN I SHOULDA SEEN THIS COMING LMAO but im still excited to see where this goes

like the jewel of truth construction being ILLEGAL? what r they gonna do??? like,,, take the parts away?!?! how will lloyd avoid their like, divine punishment or whatever?? is it considered a crime to start mythical construction??? i wonder what their ruling will be

also the exiled student guy (forgot his name) and lupellan what r they up to will this interfere w them?? or with lloyd? a lot of stuff lined up oh GOD lmao

anyways thats all for right now, as always i yap more on my twitter if youd like to see more shenanigans from me, see yall next week!! !!!!

#tged #the greatest estate developer #tged spoilers #lynn misc #i have an irl who absolutely loves whenever lloyd does that brazen robot face #idk when she'll catch up on tged but im sure she'll enjoy robot javier hehee #also no idea if ive said this already but i am very sorry if the stuff i say isnt quite insightful or interesting #i type whatever im thinking it just comes and goes LOL #but i hope someone enjoys these either way :)

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bentosandbox · 1 year ago

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Ambience Synesthesia tutorial blog

rambled this out because I didn't have inflight wifi otw home and the turbulence was too crazy to draw

Buying the ticket

erm so they only dropped the tickets like slightly less than a month before lol kinda insane

The concert tickets were sold on Damai so you need a CN number or know/pay someone with one who'd buy it for you which is what I did by recommendation (A tier 1280 + 400 'service fee' [apparently it would have been cheaper if they only helped you half way or something but i wasnt gonna risk running into a payment hiccup so]) Iirc they sold it in two batches but I don't remember the ratio split between first and second wave…

I got a ticket for 5/5's afternoon show (so the second last performance), I DID meet an oomf who said they managed to snag a ticket for themselves on their own (without a Professional Ticket Snatcher) so its not too impossible to attain on your own I think??? (I didn't get a CN number until like 2 days before I flew back home soo)

Professional Ticket what?? Uhhh apparently there's a whole industry/scene for this you look for listings on xianyu/taobao etc for people to buy on your behalf, you have to give them your real name and identification number (so for foreigners it'd be your passport number) for verification purposes during entry so yknow yea

getting there

You could cab directly to the venue but my friend signed us up for the free shuttle bus (they had freebies last year but not this time) and before we boarded they gave us like free water and bread (apparently free raincoats too on rainy days) which was nice of them but also insane because. the venue doesn't allow you to bring food/drinks in so a lot of people were leaving A LOT of unopened bottles near the gate and I saw a venue staff just throwing them all into the bin (HOPEFULLY JUST TO CARRY THEM AWAY IN ONE GO AND NOT FOR STRAIGHT DISPOSAL….) They drop you off near the venue but you don't go in directly, there's a 'Doctor break room' where most people are seated waiting to be ushered in batches into the venue, but also a lot of people standing around on one side of the room swapping/offering merch

merch swap

ive been told this is a very concert culture thing but i feel like its kind of different because a lot of these are so high quality ike…you could sell them at Artist Alleys but here they are just distributing for free if you have a E2 60 blorbo lmao or whatever (there seems to be a tiny…? minority that prints official art but most of them seem to be handdrawn/made)

i was too unprepared for this lol i did exchange some of my old stickers (missed out on a collapsal plastic fan bc my brain lagged when the guy asked me and i went to my auto 'sorry i dont have any merch' response' :( regretted this bc the room got a little hot from the amount of people in there and i was wearing like 3 layers with that fan on my mind)

from people watching a lot of trades are arranged beforehand on weibo/other sites unless you're willing to yell WHO WANTS TO TRADEEE/anyone wants freebies (a lot of people were also wearing 'Feel Free to Swap Merch/Ask for Freebies' tags) which i was definitely not brave enough to do lol… met up with an oomf i got to know from last dec when i attended an arknights only and they gave me some birbs and charms (bottom of post), there was someone who got a free LGD zine and charm from me bc i posted on wb that id give a free copy to anyone with a Mod 3 swire/swummer LMFAO

I had 2 more people to meet but, uhhh so I bought an esim for mobile data and it would intermittently lose signal here and there which was a little annoying when getting coffee but it just died entirely when i reached the venue and it was kind of Dire because i was waiting for one more friend who was coming over from the fes and i couldn't contact them lmao. told the friend i came with to go in first because I thought if my food got confiscated at least my oomf could see it beforehand LOL

waited outside in a light drizzle for an hour trying to trouble shoot my data to no avail and ended up borrowing a staff's wifi hotspot to get my entry qr code (I actually bought a second data roaming plan on my local sim but i quite stupidly did not check the country coverage and only learned later that night that 'Asia' doesn't cover China kuxiao) she was so nice i was (bow emoji) so sorry to trouble you im a stupid gaijin and she was like no its ok enjoy shanghai!! pien

spent a good 30min next to this board praying for data to no avail

the show

erm anyway because of that clownery above i more or less missed the first piece (the one w the goated hoho) but at least i wasnt the guy next to me who went for a bathroom break right before starset came up

The live singing this year was definitely an improvement I think… I can't really remember the setlist off the top of my head but I'm sure someone else has already listed it out, there were a couple of new pieces that weren't related to the concert groups like a Babel/Kazdel?? one sung in Latin, a Victoria…? one (in victorian ofc) also an Amiya (? just remembering by the visuals they used lol) one in Japanese

ohh yeah so almost every track would start with like a faction logo transitioning in from 3d to 2d which was cool but also amusing because it was honestly bringing quite the 'I will Make Your Company Logo Into 3D Fiverr' vibes

Since I missed the first piece idk if any of The Dreamer(s) got 3D models but The Pilgrim(s why are they all singular) had Kaltsit playing on that piano (there was also a replica of that piano on stage the white one complete with 'Arknights' text on it lmao) and Siege being cool running around in 3D (and ofc Eureka during her denpa number) it was very cool but man... its a pity the other characters in the group just get their live2d png during the beginning and effectively get sidelined lool compared to say Phenomenal Agents idk if i like this tradeoff but that eureka bit was so good sheesh #NOVAFIVE⭐ULTRALIVESWEEP

The other stuff was really great too looking at you Lone Trail medley…!!!!! I might be wrong but I... assume... you're encouraged to karaoke bc they always show the lyrics on screen… I couldn't even hear myself anyway but it was very fun singing songs you can't get on joysound/etc with a whole crowd going at it too (even if most of them would only sing 1-2 lines of the chorus)

Mary Clare did Radiant (they had the lyrics scrolling on the sides very cool) and iirc the Throne group's song...? Radiant was so fun live

Starset did Monster > Telescope and when the latter ended they were like Bye! and we(?) started yelling ENCORE--awkwardly because idk how they do it here (I was half expecting it to be JP style 'an-call-roo' but a bunch of us just yelled en-core en-core here and there until they returned to perform Infected) speaking of yelling.. between every piece when they had to switch sets people would just yell memes or skill names (like Dage's) to pass the time or sth i barely caught half of whatever they were memeing about

did i forget to mention anything else uhhh originium rock turntable for Guide Ahead's boss theme/Dossoles Lobby and they had IS4 medley live throat singing very cool also the dancers they got for silbenherze's boss theme good stuff...

iirc after starset was like a behind the scenes video of how HG prepared for AS and a recorded lowlight video saying some stuff that i forgot LOL just some thank you message basically. 9.5/10 bc no missy/shu EP live

i just realised i forgot to display all the merch from the A tier ticket but w/e. light stick photo ft. merch swaps/gifts from friends and strangers 🥹 (the iffy lenticular card was literally dropped into my bag by an iffy coser (wearing the LT outfit..?!) while waiting for the cab LMAO)

#arknights #bentotexto #will blog about the festival in another post because i dont think theyll let me post that many photos #yeah i got the logos/theresa pillow but im giving it to a friend

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