#i dont really want to come out to my family but i think its inevitable

[catboyjorts]

.

[syoddeye]

ill-advised

simon x f! reader | 1165 words cw: simon being a gross creep, terrible advice, slimy internet culture, bad usernames, unsolicited nudes a/n: wrote this silly thing on my phone. lightly edited. been thinking about how simon would be the world's worst agony uncle. enjoy a few easter eggs.

Simon doesn’t have a God complex. No. He leaves that to the Simulation 5 streamers who build complicated dungeons beneath their character’s cottages, forcing others to labor on paintings or crochet projects to sell and support their captor’s livelihood. Not that he…watches those. No, no. He’s simply seen more than his fair share of depravity. Some of it at his expense, some at others, and more than a chunk of it dealt by his own two hands. He knows how the world works. How people work. He knows his shit, plain and simple.

So when his schedule allows, he logs on after midnight. His username and password are two alphanumeric strings, but people recognize the cluster of digits and letters. Wait for his comments. Follow his account. Send him stupid digital gifts, some useless currency to dress up his default icon. The amount increases daily, as does his following. His own little cult.

He doesn’t care about the numbers. Not really. He just loves dishing out his honest opinion, and nobody’s safe.

AN [Advice Needed] Family forgot to invite me on a trip, expect me to go last minute Hi, it’s like the title says. I (25 M) live across the country from my parents, siblings (all all adults), nieces, and nephews. I am the only one who lives on this coast, but I try to visit twice a year. I recently reached out to my brother to see when he thinks I should come visit in June and suggested some dates. I know it’s only February, but I want to save money on airfare. He responded: “Isn’t that when we’re going to Hawaii???” It was the first I heard of it. It turns out my parents invited my siblings to Hawaii and planned a family vacation without me. I confronted my parents about it, they swore they invited me too then said I could send them my share of the bill for the resort and book a flight. Like it’s no big deal. I can’t afford to go and I don’t want to go, but I feel really pressured. And sad! They forgot me! Who am I, Kevin McAllister?

> 35J0G39GH6: Find out the resort name. Cancel the reservations. Cease contact.

Within seconds, a dozen upvotes. A minute later, a hundred. Up, up, up. And the replies? Oh, the replies. He smirks at the cracked phone screen.

>> michaelEthelcaine: Fucking brutal as always >> c0y0t3fug1y: LMAO it’s this simple OP - this dude is never wrong >> patcemetery79: I DID THIS BACK IN 2003 FOR A FAMILY REUNION. A REAL RIOT! HAVEN’T BEEN INVITED TO ONE SINCE@ HILARIOUS!!!!!! I LOVE YOU 35J

Simon receives a fair share of downvotes, too. Negative comments. He doesn’t give a shit, but some of them are fucking hilarious.

>> grasshopperwhirlpool: Not funny. Be better than this asshole, OP. I’m sure it was a simple mistake. >> thewildrumpussy: really mature advice. who shit in your coffee?

Every few weeks, a morally righteous do-gooder encourages people to mass-report him, and he gets a slap on the wrist. The idiots come out in droves after some of his more choice replies, like worms after a heavy rain. The most recent offense?

AN [Advice Needed] My husband (35 M) forgot my (33 F) birthday My husband of three years forgot my birthday. No flowers, cake, or gifts. When I came home from work he asked about dinner. I lost it, turned around, and left. I’m at my sister’s house now (and she started baking when I called and told her what happened!) but he won’t stop blowing up my phone. He says it’s because he’s been so busy but here’s the thing: he forgot last year too. I really love him but I’m tired of this treatment.

> 35J0G39GH6: Have your friend take you home between 3-4 AM. Cut his brake lines. Go back to her place. Wait for the inevitable.

>> 6polyesterbutthole9: i dont care if this is illegal its funny af >> passtheaggression: Hand to god, you need your own forum dude.  >> gordonramsme55: Where are the mods on this??? This shit is going to get someone killed. Report this psycho. >>> puffalo: Agreed I think this breaks Rules 3 & 5, reporting now >> austrianPrincess: not saying i did this but when my boyfriend’s brakes failed, i got a big check, OP!  >>> gordonramsme55: This is what I’m talking about!  >>> 6polyesterbutthole9: get that check >> tech60nyneme: WOW someone check this guy’s crawlspace. reported and blocked

That one earns him the most severe ‘punishment’ yet: A month-long commenting ban. No skin off his nose, he's deployed days later, anyway. If anything, the radio silence winds his followers up, their excitement a palpable thing when he gets out of forum jail. He rewards them with another series of blunt, to-the-point pieces of advice. 

His absence makes one particular fan particularly hungry, and a little desperate.

He’s no stranger to unsolicited dick and cleavage pics from his followers. They flood his inbox, giving him a side hobby of delivering pithy degradation the sick fucks seem to love. Saves the best for his private collection. 

But then he gets a picture from some cute thing with a comment about him being her favorite person on the Internet. Knelt all sweet in front of her mirror, haloed by a ring light, white lace barely hiding the goods. His eyes snap to her tits—where his ridiculous username is scrawled in sharpie. There’s nothing to critique except maybe the laundry in the background of the shot. Tugs his cock to it, then clicks her username to check her comment history, and wouldn’t you know. Her location is public on her profile. She’s a couple hours away from her idol and doesn’t even know it. 

>> 35J0G39GH6: Perfection. >> YN10282022: Oh my god, I didn’t think you’d reply. >> YN10282022: You know, a few months ago, you gave me good advice about my creepy boss. >> YN10282022: I posted about the stuff he’d say to me. >> YN10282022: It took some time, but I was able to record him. Sent it over to his wife on their anniversary. When he accused me, I told him HR was getting the next copy. >> YN10282022: I got a promotion and a raise, and sent the file anyway. >> 35J0G39GH6: Good girl. >> 35J0G39GH6: I’ll be in your neck of the woods in a week for work. >> YN10282022: Really?? I’d love to meet up! >> 35J0G39GH6: Probably shouldn’t. I’d advise you against meeting me. >> YN10282022: They do say you should never meet your heroes. :) >> 35J0G39GH6: Shouldn’t meet strangers off the Internet, either.

She still sends him the address of a cafe. It matches one he finds on her social media an hour later. She seems to be a frequent customer. Simon grins at his screen, the sole light source in his dark room. He taps back to her pretty picture.

She looks like an angel.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello cas! how are you?

i just wanted to ask something, i dont know, maybe have a little validation? im not sure

i have and regularly use a tumblr blog, and im an active ao3 author who will often project onto characters, both because its easier to write what i know and also because it makes for good storytelling. theres one thing though that i never talk about, not on my blog and not in my writing, but i feel like i should be?

i dont remember the silly medical word for it, but theres some condition on my dad's side of the family where weve got a higher chance of going blind, and usually earlier in life than most. my aunt has it, my grandfather had it, my older brother has it, and i have it. i didnt know my grandfather bc he died before i was born, but i know it only started affecting my aunt a little into her 50s, though it was much earlier for me and my brother (hes 27 and has about 50% of his vision, and im 20 and have about 70%, and for both of us what we have is also very blurred)

again, its not really something i talk about. ive been learning braille for when the inevitable comes (so far ive learned the alphabet and common conjunctions i can expect, so now im moving onto becoming more comfortable and confident feeling it all out) and honestly im pretty okay about it. its not that ive given up, im just... neutral? i have my peace with it. im working with what ive got or whatever, i dunno

but i feel like i should be... doing something with it? like, sharing my experience or using my writing to create representation. im always reading about people projecting their disabilities onto characters (especially remus, in place of his lycanthropy in muggle aus) like deafness, or epilepsy, or chronic pain, or migraines, but i rarely read about blind characters/sight impaired characters, and i just wonder like... should i be writing that? should i be doing something?

i dont know if this even makes sense haha. i just feel some sort of obligation to talk about it, but especially because i already project onto my characters with my mental health issues etc it almost feels like id also be writing about myself *too* much? it feels like theres no winning

im also sort of nervous that if i *did* bring it up on my blog now, that people might think im just making it up or something because ive never mentioned it before. i also dont know everything about it, and if people asked me something i didnt have an answer to, im afraid of that too. as though just because im losing my vision i should know every single thing there is to know about blindness. its silly and i know that, but it still makes me nervous to talk about it after all this time

Hi! <3

I understand why you feel this way, but please know that you don't owe anyone anything just because you have a disability. You're not obligated to be an activist or educator, in any way, shape, or form. There are plenty of aspects of my life I choose not to talk about and boundaries I draw when it comes to talking about my life on tumblr, and that's okay! Nobody who is part of a group that needs representation has to be the person to create that representation. For example, while I work to create trans representation in my writing, I choose not to address a lot of my childhood trauma. Sure, I could write about having a parent who is an addict, but I choose not to, and that's a choice I'm allowed to make, just as you are!

However, if you DO choose to talk about it and someone accuses you of faking? 1. Ew. Block them. 2. Send them to me. That's horrible and they need to be yelled at.

Naming you validation anon

[m2ssvex]

//vent

I havent really posted here a lot but honestly whatever. I think i'll keep this page as my diary or smth

Recently i've moved from my mothers apartment and into my dads house back in my village and everythings been fine ig, but just tonight my mom texted me saying that she missed and idk i guess that hit me really hard because if im being honest im not present anywhere at all, idk how she missed when i was bearly there. What i mean is i dont talk to my family unless theres an actual obligation for me to do so and even then its hard to do that. So i would always just sit in one place for hours at a time not saying a single word to my mom or to my brother, so i just really dont understand HOW she missed me when she had no problem not speaking to me for hours daily. I bearly know my family, which i know its sad but im just disconnected from them and i cant fix that nor do i want to, since i know they'll all hate me when i come out as gay and inevitably move to another country. Idk this entire thing is a mess but i just wanted to rant and i wont be tagging this bc i dont want anyone to see this. Or maybe i do?? Since this is me posting on social media rn. Is this a cry for help?????? Hahaahah noooo i love my family this entire vent thing is a jokeee lol

[blamemma]

Not sure if you answered this before but based on your latest bookish asks, what are your top book recommendations? 😌

i have definitely answered this before but cannot find it anywhere in my books tag oops so i dont think i ever tagged it correctly but oH NO a chance for me to talk about my favourite books what a shame???!!!!! anyway book recs under the cut x

ok so i'll try and do this succinctly cause i can talk about good books for hours and hours and what made me so enamoured with them so ok lets go.

bewilderment by richard powers - go into this knowing nothing apart from it centers around a single dad and his son who is concerned about animals and the climate crisis. do not google more about it, do not look for spoilers, just let powers take you on this slow journey of a father and son and all that comes with that....thrust it into the arms of my flatmate with these same words and he kept on asking me questions because he couldn't work out some things in the book and then one night at about 12:30am i get a knock on my bedroom door cause he finished it and we talked for hourssss about it.....just please....read it

at swim, two boys by jamie o'neill - no one is surprised to see this here, maybe look up some of the trigger warnings if there are things you avoid in books for this one, but yeah, two boys, dublin, in love with each other but not acting on their feelings, learning how to swim and forging a bond so strong :)) still thinking about it still aching

the seas by samantha hunt - i think she's under 200 pages?? if not only slightly over.....quick fast paced weird read about a fucked up girl who believes deep in her heart she's a mermaid, flew through this one, really weird concept that was explored thoroughly well

the idiot by elif batuman - i often forget about this one because i read it during the hazy depressed days of first year uni but i know it shaped me, i know it clawed at me, and i know i really want to re-read it soon....a good book if ur lost in ur twenties i think xx

drive your plow over the bones of the dead by olga tokarczuk - much like bewilderment, dont google this one for more than the synopsis and let urself wade through the first 50 pages cause god from there....chefs kiss....a feminist murder mystery fuck YES (and thats a really simple description of what it is)

crossroads by jonathan franzen - aight so you take a heavy religious family with a pastor for a father but ooft the father is cheating on his wife and the son is addicted to drugs and the daughters had enough of her family and is in love with someone she shouldn't be and the mothers done some questionable shit in her past......yeah thats MY kinda family saga....each chapter follows a different member of the family and through these lil snippets u really start to see the inevitable breakdown of a family that on the outside looks perfect

babel by r.f. kuang - look, i gotta give it to the tiktok girlies here......they're onto something here......devoured this beast of a book like there was no tomorrow and went through a full array of emotions with all the characters.....superb book, truly deserves all the hype its been given

(lol reading back through all these and i think what we can comfortably say is i LOVE a sad book keep ur happy emotions away from me)

HONORABLE MENTIONS GO TO: mayflies by andrew o'hagan; the death of vivek oji by akwaeke emezi; shuggie bain by douglas stuart; my brilliant friend by elena ferrante (can not yet recommend the full quartet because i've only read the first two....but yeah.....good shit)

[neonun-au]

k, n, s, t!

K: what’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

veeeeerrrrrryyyyyy timely question considering the fic i am beginning to work on now haha. i have some issues with angst in the sense that a lot of it is just....sort of like exploitative trauma porn in a way. angst for angsts sake vs actually for serving a grander story. so i tend to sort of try and straddle a finer line with it in my own stuff !

there are two, i think. both end with an inevitable ending: death. but both in very different ways. one is a prequel to a fic that i have had on my blog since winter 2021, from what i once was, and it's sort of....leading up to what that fic is sort of dealing with (without really giving too much away). the other one, the one that i am actively planning and embarking on now, is one part relationship drama like...falling, loving, losing, and re-finding but all with the backdrop of the end of the world. so trying to find that person you love and recapture that before its all over. it's inspired by this song and i am quite excited to stick this one out ! (i think its gonna be a dokyeom fic also...so thats fun, cause ive never written him)

N: is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

i would like to just give all my ideas and thoughts to @97-liners and see her bring them to fruition because her writing is just deeeelicious. apart from that, nothing specific haha i just would like someone else to write nice big, well written fics for pentagon or onf (i havent either but.....i just want to READ them)

S: any fandom tropes you can’t resist

mmmm i dont think so. im very focused on quality and it takes a lot for someones writing to really pull me into a fic so there arent really any tropes that i go to regardless. there are some aus i have real soft spots for, like true slow burns, mafia, fantasy, historical...but those are far and few between haha

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

i dont know if theyre technically tropes but a LOT of things in smutfic really bug me and thats a big part of the reason i dont read much of it haha (apart from the fact that i just...im not really that hard of a fan LOL v soft). anything like...dom/sub dynamics (regardless of who is who i just think theyre misused and when they ARE used right, i just am not that interested in it anyway lol), anything hybrid, family aus, parent aus....i have no interest in them. that being said i will read most of these things if the writing is good enough to hook me regardless of the subject LOL

>fanfic ask game<

[keefwho]

Introduction

Trauma Some stuff stood out to me in the intro of this book. The author talks about how trauma can not only sever the ability to connect with others, but yourself too. This is something I theorized but am starting to get confirmation for. In relation to the book, I fit the bill of being someone with a broken connection to his sense of self and his body. She also made it clear that life is hard and that whatever we experience is not anyone's fault. Bad things in life are unavoidable. People will abuse you. Natural disasters will happen. Accidents will hurt you.

Healing Together A big thing was how she emphasized the importance of healing together. "We are hurt in relationship, and we heal in relationship." This is another thing I really believed but couldn't preach because I'm no expert. What if I was wrong? I've been wanting to reach out and embrace that yes, we both have trauma but we can work through it together. It's not really our own individual fight. It's okay to have company through it. I dont want to feel bad for wanting to connect in this way. Its very powerful, we are social creatures through and through.

Contingency The importance of human connection can not be understated. We have the amazing ability to know when someone really 'gets' us or not. I personally feel like very few people 'get' me. Something that can be done here is taking stock of the kind of relationships in my life and putting more effort into people that seem to be available in the ways that I need. Who you surround yourself with really matters and it's something I've already started adjusting. Also notable was how directly I've experience a loss of connection due to feeling threatened in any kind of way. Safety is essential to co-regulation.

Childhood Neglect While reading about the ideal upbringing of a child in a caring family, the part about the child crying out and having someone respond made me think of something. It reminded me of the times I would be at home with my dad but he would be passed out drunk. Sometimes I would need something and he wouldn't be able to give it to me and I now realize how traumatizing that must have been.

I've experienced a lot of contingency with my friend Daisy. Specific experiences that come to mind are the times we've had heart to heart talks in VRchat, face to face all close to each other. It was amazing to "feel felt." So amazing that I keep wanting it to happen. I notice that my body feels permeated by the color pink. Its a strong feeling in my chest. I can only describe it as beautiful. What stands out most is how it feels like all that exists is us, like we float in a void together where nothing else matters. These are my most cherished moments of connection in recent history.

Attachment Style Out of the 4 listed, I identified most with the ambivalent attachment style, with some hints of avoidant too. It was important to note that no one falls cleanly into one category. I resonated greatly with experiencing anxiety about not having my needs met or feeling secure in being lovable. I often anticipate inevitable abandonment. "People with the avoidant attachment style tend to see their histories as mostly fine until feelings of longing resurface and they realize what they missed relationally."

My Parent's Shortcomings (Mom, Dad, Stepdad) -Prone to staying in abusive situations. -Immature while arguing. -Placing blame on others. -Refusing to play if it's something she doesn't like. -Sacrifices herself for others. -Lowkey judgmental of my interests. -Alcoholic. -Enforced no rules for me. -Generally bad at meeting the physical needs of a child. -Dangerous behavior due to alcoholism. -Emotionally unavailable. -Solution to all arguments is yelling. -Placing blame on others. -Refusing to play if it's something he doesn't like. -Can never be wrong. -Fragile ego, has to be in charge of the household. -Hoarder. -Bad financial decisions. -Poor hygiene standards. -Forced interests onto me. My Parent's Strengths (Mom, Dad, Stepdad) -A very strong woman who faced a lot of adversity. -Willing to come to my aid no matter what I need. -Above average appreciation of nature and animal life. -Lighthearted and goofy. -Doing her best to run the household. -Strong importance for family. -Ability to be alone. -Very skilled music and magic performer. -Nice attitude and friendly to everyone. -Values community. -Stopped alcoholism. -Generous. -Has always called me after all these years, even though I usually wouldn't talk much. -Very hard worker. -Physically strong. -Knows where he stands on his values. -A good family protector, he'd die for us. -Would do anything for any relative. -Served our country for 20 years. -Extremely good at socializing -Will help anyone if asked.

[anothershittyaccount]

Have any of you made a "contract" with your partner and found it helpful? Basically thinking having something written down with clear boundaries, expectations and consequences listed could be beneficial. Or is it beyond hopeless if you at the point where you have to draft a relationship framework and impose "consequences"? This would be my final attempt at trying to navigate this situation before calling it quits.

I'm at the end of my rope and simultaneously one of our dogs (my personal property per divorce findings) has stage 4 melanoma and a few weeks to 2 months max. I've decided to acquire a new dog so my other dog wont be lonely and I've paused my job and studies to basically devote these coming days to giving my dog a peaceful death and nurturing this new puppy I'm welcoming into my home.

My partners sexual addiction keeps on pulling them back in every few months... dday was october, with the full reveal in december. They have had no sexual relations since february, but they keep on talking to people related to AP and AP's family and friends every few months and I just want nothing to do with these people. If you are done with AP, you are done with everyone connected to them.

I cant be any more explicit that anyone connected to the AP's is not to be communicated and if I find out it happens one more time, my partner will need to vacate our house in 10 days. If I catch them in a lie pertaining to communication with AP or AP affiliates, they must vacate the same day. Those are literally my only boundaries. Partner thinks I'm controlling but literally just saying not to talk to the 4 AP's and anyone they know (approximately 200 people per AP), so like just saying of our planet of 8 billion, please dont talk to these select 800. Is that overreaching? Am I asking too much?

My partner on the other hand has a list of about a dozen things, all behavoirs she wants me to stop which I'm more than happy to comply with. The issues she lists only occur when I find out she is in communication or lying about being in communication with the AP or the AP's people. I lash out when I inevitably discover the lie and call her or her AP's hurtful and petty names. If she does not deceive me and stops prioritizing maintaining connections connected with the AP, her boundaries wouldn't be violated.

Situation is toxic, and with the dogs impending death, our divorce, and navigating this new norm post breach of trust I feel like its 1 step forwards 10 steps back at least once a month. Partner says its an addiction of a sexual nature, kind of like a combination of the rush you get from drugs or gabbling. They have made strides to minimize relapses but I feel like the effort is minimal or should be more... but having lost many loved ones to addiction, I am very empathetic to the struggles and I guess I just don't know when enough is enough.

Having 18 years together, she's been with me through so many of my own personal and plentiful struggles so I feel like I owe her the decency of sticking by her while she works through this. I feel like she deserves the same amount of compassion and time she gave me, and she has given me way more than 9 months worth of support so while I'm hurting now I just want to weather the storm and try and hold on to hope and cling to the faith and positive moments, of which there are plenty.

Simultaneously, my partner knows me extremely well so it's all just possible that she really knows how to appeal to my emotions and draw me in, giving me a little bit of hope to lead me on with no intention of following through long term. But that could be my doubt and insecurity talking? I just feel like all the trauma has turned me into a paranoid shell of my former self and I'm not acting like myself, I feel like I'm going crazy every time I new lie pertaining to AP's is revealed- it brings me right back to the raw emotions of day one.

Anyone have creative approaches to navigating this journey and trying to bebuild the trust when it continues to be violated due to their addiction? Having struggled with mental health issues myself, I know its not something that can be overcome overnight so should I give her the same amount of time she gave me in support over the years or what? Just feel so many mixed messages internally and from external forces. And I do have hope, but am I just being delusional too and roped into her delusions?

[loyalestmunch]

09.06.23

update. my cat got put down 8 days ago. im kind of fine now i did most of my coping/crying/grieving before it even happened bc my head is stupid and prepares for the worst. but if i think about it for too long i get teary eyed. i miss her every day. sometimes i'll hear a small noise and out of instinct i'll look to see if she's nearby, followed by instant regret and emptiness. i swear i still see her in the corner of my eye sometimes. sometimes i'll visit the spot where she's buried and tell her about my day. i hope shes out there somewhere listening.

also. as if one grief wasnt enough. few days after my cat's passing im at the park by myself swinging listening to music and a random little girl sits in the swing beside me. i dont think anything of it because i always get approached by kids when im at the park having me time. so i mind my business and this kid asks me for my name so i have to reluctantly take out an airpod and be like What did u say and she was like Ur name whats ur name and i was like oh it's *deadname* to which she replies with her name, aurora. she was really young, maybe 6 at most, so our small talk consisted of fnaf and taylor swift. not long after talking she invites me to sit at a bench with her. i say okay and she takes me to a spot closer to her family. upon our arrival her dad comes to the both of us (i was thinking he was probably annoyed that his daughter brought me (i have blue hair and piercings)) but he wasnt annoyed he just came and asked if i wanted a kitten. stunned and confused, i was like yes sure i want a kitten and i shit u not he pulls out a small black/gray/brown tabby and places her in my arms. it felt like this kitty was supposed to be mine. i just lost my cat. how did these events get intertwined?????

to make a long story short: i brought her (the kitten) (i named her smokey) home and my mom was pissed n didnt let me keep her despite by begging and pleading. i tried to tell her i felt as if i was connected with my old cat again when i spent time with the kitten. as she does, she disregards those feelings and gets rid of the damn cat. im still not talking to her as of right now.

so anyway. ive never felt so alone before and its so hard not to relapse. but i think its inevitable atp. as my main way of coping was spending time with my cat. im forced to be alone with my thoughts and feelings all the time.

romantically, im still stuck chasing people who couldnt give a shit about me. but thats been going on since me and ***** broke up in may. it just sucks, especially now, because i am quite literally, mentally and physically, alone. and i hate being stuck w this bitch for long periods of time. we dont get along.

[audible--silence]

Shrooms trip

I want someone else to make sense of me more than i can make of me

Shelter, food, comfort

Thats all that ya really need

Why am I thinking of Grace?

Is she my compass?

Why?

Does she even have a clue?

We’re all just collections of experiences and memories floating around this nonsense rock doing things till we inevitably arent

And in the middle of nowhere, disconnected from everything else, you dont need much. Simplicity is fine.

At least, if only for a little while

Criminal, how much should change for me and how much i should live, only to be faced with those i love, never changing or ever living more

A coin dropped, i always think im coming home.

This is only a time away. Everything i do I’m taking back home to tell to friends and show to family. What if me, now, out in the nowhere, is all there is? Im never going home? I’m starting again? god it feels so scary to think about all that ive made in twenty four years and to think about throwing that to the dirt

An odd age, 24 is.

Young enough to be a fool

Old enough to be a teacher

You thought you were good at chaos but you always need order. You need systems within chaos in order to feel safe. Is it hospo? Is it from dad? Is it from mum?

This is how i always wanted to feel

Awake, alive, thinking and considering

If there’s something in there causing you grief, remember that its in there anyway and the only way past it, is through

I wanna do shrooms w grace and w benj

This is how i wish i lived normally in day to day life with childlike curiosity and wonder, introspective intuition and warmth

“I can, so i do” - on kindness to strangers, with your old pal, barbecue andy

That phone screen is comfort and warmth for me

.

The old lady yelled at me from her humble, earthen home in the mountains

I didn’t understand a word she said

But i knew exactly what she meant

Pick up that banana peel

You had the good bit, you deal with the rest

Take pride in yourself

Treat your surroundings with respect

You’re visiting our land

Don’t disrespect us

Yes the banana might biodegrade

Yes theres bottles of tecate and plastic bags littering the floor

But the point remains

Do as your parents taught you and clean up after yourself

Treat the land well

Be a good guest

Be courteous

Check yourself

Think what you wish to be and act accordingly

Dont fucking stray.

She said. Loudly.

[bunnyboy-juice]

LMAO yknow processing the abuse you went through as a child is already weird, but then add grieving a parent who most definitely caused harm to you but also died when you were 20 in an extremely traumatic way when you were just barely starting to repair your relationship into the mix and its even fuckin weirder.

example: my sister sent me a screenshot of a facebook memory of my mom being like “i love my kids and this gift they made me for mothers day earlier this year” and, for context, the gift is a jar of hand written notes on why we loved her. my sister made us all do it and her and my brother came up with reasons pretty fast. i think i put maybe 3 notes in there (and i actually still have one of them!) and the notes i wrote all seem normal on the surface but i remember struggling REALLY hard to come up with those 3 reasons i loved her and the one i actually still have is “i love you because you almost died so i could live”. except i remember actually Not loving her for that. I actually hated htat she did that because i guarantee my birth was traumatic but i was put into this position by everyone who heard the story of i Had to be good and do every last thing she said or i was terrible and ungrateful ebcause she almost died. and i remember feeling so red, so hot, so angry that i was being forced to write this for a mother’s day gift that i initially wrote a long note saying how i didnt love her and i didnt love that story and i wish she wouldve aborted me like the doctors told her to - and of course i do love her and i acknowledge now the “i dont love you” was a product of feeling coerced and triggered. but in that moment i Didnt love her - or myself for that matter. but anyways, i then ripped off a piece of the paper from that stickynote that i wrote those horrible sentences on and then wrote that shitty one liner. i felt nauseous doing it too. and when she inevitably opened mine i knew - because we got into an argument again over me not doing what she wanted me to with my life (which i actually still was! i was going to the college she begged me to go to instead of my dream one, i was living on campus but still went home almost daily bc she guilted me into it regularly, i was majoring in the major she wanted me to even tho i wanted to change my major to a similar but less flashy one - i wasnt even out yet)

idk its just so weird seeing my sister almost crying over that because i see that jar and those notes and i feel rage and discomfort. its a weird reminder we are grieving in such different ways bc yes, we were both mistreated by our dad growing up. but she had our mom close to her. even if it was unhealthy at times she could confide in her and trusted her. i didnt really. my grief related to my mom not only encompasses the fact that like she’s dead but is also grief over the relationship we may have had because i never Got a normal relationship with her. its grief over the fact that she got sick and died right after we started finally trying to repair our relationship. its grief because when she got sick everyone got loving messages and was told she was proud of them and i was told to watch my back and was warned i was likely going to be homeless bc my father had been wanting to kick me out since i was 14. its grief in that i didnt really have family the way the rest of them did and still do.

[technowoah]

Dating The Dream Team Headcanon(s)

Dream! (Clay)

Our supposed golden retriever

He loves you with his whole heart and he'll tell you that every second he gets.

He loves showering you with affection on and off camera

Mostly off camera

Pda isn't a problem because no one knows his real face.

He'll kiss you, holding hands, hug you, piggyback rides when your feet hurt, locking arms, arms around eachother when you're walking. All of be above

Just hugging you from behind all of the time. And always wanting to be around you

But if people know who you are and know you're dating Dream you two rarely go outside in public areas.

But home dates are amazing too!

Blanket forts even though its so cliché, he insists.

Watching horror movies on the first date was his choice.

Ya know for somone to cuddle, just in case they get scared. It worked.

You guys dont need "dates" because you always are around eachother.

But Clay likes to have formal dates every now and then

At first you didn't know what to call Clay.

You had called Clay, Dream for the first month you two started officially dating.

One day he asked you why, and you said that you watch videos that he's in and gotton used to people calling him Dream

He melted on spot when you mentioned you watched his videos and videos with him in it.

Except for the minecraft cheating ones

He always asks if you like the video first before anyone else because he values your opinions.

He'll sit you on his lap while recording or editing and sometimes, I emphasize sometimes, your voice will make it into a video.

He was very protective of you, and still is. Especially because of the place he is in popularity.

In the beginning your conversations while speed running would always be either muted from his audience or either cut of from the extended manhunt videos.

Now he takes pride in having his significant other's voice in videos. He dosent cut out your conversations, except if they're too personal.

Or the kisses

Dream bought you roses on the first date, and now roses are such a special thing between you two.

Those little rose pendants for jewelry, fake roses to keep around his place, gifts things that reminded him of your first date with a rose that comes with it.

He gives you merch of course!

Your closet is full of Dream hoodies and a box full of milestone coins.

You always either get the prototype one or the first one made. Idk how he made that happen, but take his word for it.

You've meet "Drista" before, and you had met his family too!

His family adores you.

He has yet to meet yours, but one day he promises he will make a great first impression.

I would do into more detail, but Dream is one of the most caring, sweet, boyfriend's you'll ever have.

Sapnap!

My boyyyy

I love sapnap srs

Gentlemanᵗᵐ

He'll treat you like royalty

He's not the biggest fan of PDA but further into your relationship he got more comfortable with showing you love in public.

He loves hugs, lying together, just hugs and sitting you on his lap and resting his head on your shoulder.

You guys mostly have home dates for him to have an excuse to hold you all day.

The dates are mostly movie marathons with one of you laying ontop of one another

He loves cheek kisses btw.. all the time

Conversation between you two flows so naturally you could talk for hours about anything.

You try to convince him to have a podcast.

When you get too riled up his voice calms you and he knows that so he uses it to his advantage.

You two play fight alot, its never serious you two barely fight.

Also calling him his real name was the strangest thing to him.

Like Dream, it had to take some getting used too because their friends wouldn't call them by their real name (most of the time)

He adores nicknames for the both of you. You both have too many nicknames but the most popular one between you is 'angel'

You never sit in the same room while he plays video games, because he can scream very loud.

There probably has been noise complaints. And you wouldn't be surprised.

You'll always defend him no matter what. Even when the twitter stans get to him, he knows you'll be there without a doubt. Always ready to defend your man.

You're kinda protective of Sapnap, but he's more protective over you.

You two would defend eachother to the ends of the earth.

You trust him with hanging out with other people, but you just dont trust Twitter.

He loves showing you off to his community. He kept you a secret at first then gradually started saying "my significant other" and they caught on.

Sapnap isnt that much of a gift giver. He loves to spend more quality time with a person.

He likes to spend more time with you than buy you material things all the time.

But he gives you his merch, but then the rest of the clothes you get are his actual hoodies.

He's actually starting to miss his clothing so he asks for them back for them to inevitably end up back in your closet.

You and Sapnap are planning to take a trip to meet his parents and then make a weekend out of it.

Then the next stop is to meet yours and out of all the relationships you've had you're not nervous for him to meet your parents.

We love sapnap in this household and he would just be the best boyfriend srs

GeorgeNotFound! (George)

This man is so annoying

But like in an endearing way ya know?

He never fails to brighten up your day

Making you laugh

repeating phrases over and over again

poking you nonstop to get a reaction out of you

giving you long hugs that never seem to end

kissing you all over your face.

He is just so bright.

Hes the neighbors kid

George loves giving you affection whether its kisses or holding your hand he wants you to know he's there.

Even if you dont want him to he'll always want to be around you.

He loves skinship.

George loves walking around London finding stuff to do for dates.

He loves taking small roadtrips too so you get to see stuff around the area you wouldn't normally see.

Just walking around holding hands while making fun of anything you can see.

You two are out in public a lot so when George does his meetups with his friends and brings you along people would stop them and want to take pictures.

He'll introduce you as his significant other in public to fans who ask or notice, but online when his friends ask about his relationship he says "what relationship?" Even though his whole fanbase knows you two are dating.

His fanbase loves you two together, but sometimes they can get too much.

George couldn't care less about what his fanbase thinks if him and his relationship and he wants you do think the same because its not worth it.

Your voice sometimes appear in his videos when you comment on something he does in minecraft.

George doesn't like to put his personal life out on the internet so he still keeps secrets about yall relationship

All his community knows is that you're his significant other and you're "really cool" in George’s words.

You stay in his room when he's recording because he insisted that you stay.

Also he doesn't give you his merch, he refuses to and everytime you ask he just says "because I said so" and "I need the money"

He ends up giving you merch, you knew it was a bluff anways.

Dreams love language is gift giving

Sapnaps is quality time

and George’s is skinship like I said.

Hugs and kisses all the time. Even when your mad at him

You guys have so many inside jokes its ridiculous.

You say them around your friends and laugh just to annoy them.

You guys love to flaunt your relationship around. Showing off that "this is George’s jumper" and "oh this is y/n's necklace"

One time you threatened to cut George’s hair and he didnt speak to you for like an hour.

You already have a good relationship with him and his friends, but you havent met his family yet.

If your family lives out of the country you both plan to travel for him to meet your family.

If your family is in the same country you guys plan a month where you both meet eachothers parents in that same month.

George would be so proud that he got to meet your parents. And the same goes for you.

After all you both love a little road trip from time to time.

Anyways being georges significant other would be a 20/10 experience.

Taglist(s)

Dream Team Imagines: @bozowrites

MCYT Imagines: @annshit @bobaducky @malfoysslutt @egorldevi

[hopeymchope]

2022: The Rise of the Sneering, Manipulative Protagonist!

...and I mean that in the BEST possible way.

Based on my other writings on this Tumblr, you might read that headline and expect this to be a teardown of the characters I’m referring to. After all, you might think that a certain purple-haired lad with a checkerboard scarf could be described with the same words. But I say thee NAY! I come not to condemn the heroes of Tomadachi Game and Trapped in a Dating Sim, but instead to praise them!

So: Over the past couple of months, I’ve fallen in love with two boys who have truly embraced the notion of being the hero people need even if they’re not the one people want. Not only are they really compelling characters in their own right, it’s also interesting to see how their attempts to “playing the bad guy” contrast with somebody I’ve previously ragged on in this blog quite a bit. 

But we’ll get there. First, let’s talk about these two guys with their somewhat-similar solutions to problems as well as their obviously-similar hairdos.

We begin with Yuuchi Katagari, the protagonist of Tomadachi Game. (Which should really have been translated as “Friendship Game” for English audiences, but I guess someone in localization did precisely 1/2 their job and then rolled over for a nap or something.) Tomadachi Game is about Yuuchi and his friends getting trapped in a series game “rounds” where huge amounts of money are on the line — and unfortunately, huge amounts of debt are given to them from the outset. The kind of amounts that could destroy them and their families. I’ve given a VERY spoiler-free shout-out to it before. (And dont worry. I’m not gonna spoil either of these anime/manga/light novels beyond their setup details.)

The rest of the jist is that it soon becomes clear that the game is rigged towards making them all lose, and Yuuchi? He’s not going to let his friends destroy their lives. But he’s not going to let whoever’s behind the scheme get away with it, either. He wants justice.

A face you can trust. Clearly.

So, although Yuuchi starts off seeming pretty wholesome, once the titular game gets underway and shit begins to get real, he is soon looking a lot more... unhinged. He starts using his intelligence to manipulate everybody around him in such a manner that will lead to exposing more and more information about the game and its mastermind. Yuuchi is willing to act like an absolute maniac if that’s what he thinks the people in charge will want and need to see. He’ll embrace the role of villain externally, but at the same time, he’s working to keep his friends from suffering for their involvement — that is, provided their involvement is innocent. In the course of his actions, he appears to be manipulating all of his friends at times. And sometimes, it’s true. But even that manipulative appearance might be a maneuver in itself in certain cases — cases where, in reality, he’s being totally being upfront and honest with some of them while fronting for other people’s sake. 

It can sometimes be hard to figure out when he’s legitimately winning a game and when he’s legitimately losing one, because he just fronts so goddamn well. He’s easily one of the smartest characters I’ve seen in an anime — I’ve seen one YouTuber compare Yuuchi to the likes of Lelouch from Code Geass or Light from Death Note. And who doesn’t enjoy watching these sorts of master manipulators? .... Especially when they get to unload on people who’re much, much shittier. Having to act like a douchebag to other decent people? That may be necessary at times, but it kinda sucks. The complete jackasses though? Those are always the highlights.

Sure, he’s probably not gonna do it, but I mean... he’d be pretty justified if he did.

Even as things get tougher/darker for Yuuchi and he questions his own morality, starting to think that he really is a bad person at heart... the audience at home never has much reason to doubt his goodness. Even when he reveals some dark secret about his past, it inevitably seems to lead into a context that is actually NBD. And even when some of his friends seem to turn against him, he’s quick to forgive and bring them back under his protection — which they readily embrace. The result is surprisingly heartwarming.

Aw, see? He’s just an innocent lil’ fluffhead.

It just takes a little bit of honest communication to make his manipulative “villainy” into twisted teamwork. And sure, he stumbles a little bit — at one point he’s mean to one of his friends just because he wants to drive her away from him so she’ll be safe. But that same damn night, he rushes to be there for her and makes it all up to her. So even when he’s legit acting like an asshole, he can recover from those events pretty quick. Just because he’s playing 4D chess and acting like a psycho for external observers doesn’t mean he’s being a selfish dick about it for those who matter to him, and I love that.

I might love Leon Fou Bartfort even more, though — it’s hard for me to say. I just *might*.

Claims to hate “hot guys.” Is actually kinda hot though?

Leon’s the protagonist of Trapped in a Dating Sim: The World of Otome Games Is Tough for Mobs. YEAH, it’s one of those overlong titles that tells you “Oh, this is based on a series of light novels.” And it’s even a dreaded isekai story.

Historically, I don’t care for isekais much. Not only are they WAY overdone these days (and even when I write it in all caps and/or bold it, “WAY overdone” feels inadequate to explain just how fucking much isekai is out there currently), but I’ve found precious few of them do much with the conceit that feels unique. I do think Konosuba is pretty funny overall (though it has its obvious downfalls), and I adore the reverse-isekai The Devil is a Part-Timer! But in truth, I think I got more deeply invested in TiaDS than either one of those. This damn thing is something special.

The setup: Leon finds himself reborn in an otome game in which the matriarchical society allows noblewomen to attend an academy in their young adult years. Said academy is ostensibly about academics and etiquette, but it’s really about the men trying to impress the women that they’d make good husbands. Leon’s sister made him play this otome game to completion back in our world, and now, Leon hopes to use his knowledge of the game’s world and events to avoid any danger or drama. Initially, that seems like it’ll be easy because he’s just a background NPC of lower birth. But naturally, he soon finds that he’s going to face a horrible fate if he doesn’t achieve some level of nobility that will get him out of his predicament. And when he swiftly pulls THAT off, he’s forced to attend the same academy as all the game’s central characters. So once again, he tries to stay away from them and avoid their problems. And once again, he predictably cannot leave well enough alone. Both his moral code and his extreme irritation with the school’s highest nobility make him unable to stand aside and let things play out. That’s when he realizes that if he wants to both monitor what events are coming/what “route” the game is on AND also give some comeuppance to those who treat others as “lesser,” he needs to embrace acting like a douchebag. He must vilify himself to become the hero this world deserves. 

“Do you ever wonder why there are so many treasure chests throughout these dungeons? Like: Who put them there, and why?” “Nope. Sure haven’t.”

Leon is nowhere near as smart as Yuuchi, though. Even as he attempts to manipulate events through his behavior, his plans seem to backfire almost as often as they succeed. Sometimes he self-sabotages by acting impulsively. Leon is also probably a worse person than Yuuchi because he lacks Yuuchi’s self-doubt and self-awareness. It’s not too surprising when Leon starts to genuinely enjoy his cruelty on occasion, turning him into something of a “toxic gamer” type who verbally abuses others as he takes them out. (Yes, this supposed otome game has combat in it. Combat with mechs, even. Go figure.) But honestly, if gloating over people he beats in combat is his biggest sin? I think we can handle that. .... Though it is pretty rude, tbh.

Even with that character flaw, however? Leon waffles on his ability to fully play the villain role he’s assigned himself. Yuuchi is much more dedicated; Leon can’t help but make moves behind the scenes to help his enemies out so they don’t suffer overmuch for his actions. Even when he’s in the midst of a fight for his life, he refuses to kill anybody — something which his A.I. companion notes could definitely come back to bite him in the future.

That’s right, Leon has an A.I. companion: Luxion! Luxion was once housed within a robot that attempted to kill Leon. After a simple bit of reprogramming and a transition to a far less intimidating body, he now serves Leon with politeness that only barely masks his grumpiness and loathing. Their back-and-forth is really funny, and it’s cool to see how they gradually come to like each other at least a little more with time. 

Leon gives Luxion the privilege of naming his mech suit.

Even better, though, is Leon’s personal growth as he learns things about himself and how to treat others by comparing his behavior to that of the people around him. You see other characters in this world who first appear one-note come to show FAR more nuance, too. 

Plus, as I’ve said before, the English dub for this show is just insanely fucking good. Top-tier.

As much as I think Leon is great? I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how cool Angelica is, too. By the end of the season, she was my second-favorite character. Angelica is the otome game’s ostensible villain — the girl who has it out for the protagonist and tries to prevent her from getting with any of the various pretty-boy nobles. She is also, like many of the characters in this show, deeper than she appears on the surface. Viewing the scenario from a different angle gives Leon a new perspective on her whole deal. The same goes for us viewers, presumably.

“Evil” is in the eye of the beholder, my guy.

But let’s get down to business (to defeat the huns): You might be inclined to wonder why I love these guys but despise Kokichi Ouma. After all, isn’t Kokichi ALSO publicly playing the part of the villain in order to draw out a mastermind and end a game — which sounds just like Yuuchi, who I claim to love?

To some of you, I bet the difference is already obvious.

Yuuchi and Leon are both keeping people in the loop on what they’re doing, and they avoid unnecessary cruelty (plus they try to make up for it with quieter acts of kindness). Yuuchi does try to do the “convince his friends that he’s evil” thing a couple of times, but he swiftly backs down on it in less than 24 hours. Because as soon as they need someone, he can’t help but be there to stand up for them. And Leon? Leon never tries to push his friends away. His initial pals at the academy, Dan and Raymond? They are ALWAYS in the loop on his plans. HIs newest friends, Olivia and Angelica? Even though he just met them, he’s still constantly open with them about what’s going on and why he’s doing it. His performance is only for the people he doesn’t know at all or just doesn’t like. 

Part of the fun is in watching them maneuver other people by pretending to be evil and/or psychotic while simultaneously being good-hearted people who show obvious care for others. Yuuchi and Leon are never going to be relentlessly cruel to the people around them without swiftly making up for it, and they’re never going to withhold information that could save lives for personal amusement. That’s only Kokichi’s jam, see?

Be Warned, Though: Neither “Tomadachi Game” or “Trapped in a Dating Sim” are currently a complete story as an anime. Both animes end with the door wide open for future seasons. But if you wish to keep going, the option to explore the source material IS there. Tomadachi Game’s manga is widely available in English online, and the series of Trapped in a Dating Sim light novels even has an official English publication that will take you far beyond the limits of the show. I don’t believe either of those source materials has wrapped up, however. So at some point, you’ll have to hit that wall. 

Personally, I’m going to start digging into those light novels first.

[i-cant-sing]

I wonder what would happen if Y/N had a really bad day and just decided to pick a sibling from the Yan!Todoroki clan like a cat would pick its person and just?? Sit in their lap?? They'd say 'I had a terrible day, no torture today please' before taking their well-deserved nap lookin' all cute and peaceful. Then the sibling would be so proud and confused at the same time but really really happy like 'omg for real? Me? What's happening?? 🥺'. Bonus points if it's Dabi just having the widest grin on his face while staring straight at the rest of the fam seething with jealousy.

I saw your works btw and been inhalin em all cause they're all so good *chef's kiss*

-Vibin' anon

Yandere Dabi comforting sister reader

This is so cute omg. Thank u Vibin anon!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Dabi:

Shotou had come to pick you up from school today. Even though he had a busy schedule himself, he still made time for you, just like the rest if your family.

"How was school?" He asked.

"Fine."

"Just fine? Wasn't your result supposed to come today?"

You nodded. "It did. I passed."

Shotoy smiled. "Thats great. Did you get your report card?"

You knew he was going to ask for it. You also knew that he already knew what grades you got.

You nodded and handed him the report card from your bag.

Shotou's face lit up when he saw your grades.

"You're first again. I'm so proud of you." He patted your head.

You smiled. "Thanks."

By the time you guys reached home, you already knew that your entire family was home. They always were when your result came. You knew the principal had already informed Enji of your grades, she always does.

When you entered the house, your family yelled "surprise!" You feigned shock as they hugged you and congratulated you on your achievement.

Rei had prepared a little feast for you, everything was made from scratch. Enji was beaming with joy, he was so proud of his little girl. Rei had made your favourite cake, kissing your cheek as you cut it. Enji had gotten you beautiful diamond necklace. Natsuo, Shotou and Fuyumi had gotten you some gifts as well, stuff you had vaguely mentioned about. Dabi wasn't home, but you didn't mind his absence.

Your family had planned to spend the night on the couch cuddling and doing a movie marathon, but when you asked them to excuse you for the night because you were feeling tired, they became a but worried. You reassured them that you just had a long day at school as well, and now that you were stuffed with Rei's delicious food, sleep was inevitable. They nodded, a bit sad that you wouldn't be joining, but understanding nonetheless.

You went up the stairs to your room, and as soon as you closed the door, the smile you had been displaying all night was wiped off.

You sat on your bed and recalled the events of the day. Tears pricked your eyes, but you kept yourself quiet. They're not worthy crying over, you reminded yourself. Still, you couldn't help but crumple up your report card and throw it in the dustbin.

Silent tears fell from your eyes, no longer being able to hold them in. God, its infuriating.

Suddenly, you heard someone knock on your bedroom door. You looked at the clock. 12 am.

Its Dabi.

You couldn't deal with him tonight. You remained silent, hoping he'd leave you alone.

But of course not.

You quickly turned away from the door as soon as you heard it open. Wiping your tears quickly, you heard Dabi come in.

"You brat. Why didn't you answer when I knocked?" He asked, pushing the door close with his foot.

"Leave me alone, Dabi." You were trying hard to stabilise your voice.

"Huh?! Is that anyway to talk to your favourite brother?" Dabi mocked as he pulled at your ponytail. You yelped before turning around to push him away.

Dabi was about to laugh at you when he suddenly noticed the your face. Your eyes were full of tears, lashes heavy with them. Your face was flush, your nostrils flared, your lips in a pulled in a tight scowl. Had you been crying? Or did he make you cry?

"Hey, I'm sorry-"

"Just leave me alone." You said as you angrily wiped the tears from your face.

Dabi was shocked to see you like this. He had never seen you cry, not even when he took his teasing a little too far. So, to see you react like this, it worried him a bit.

"Have you been crying? What's the matter? Did you fail or something?" His voice actually held some concern.

You shook your head, pulling your ponytail loose. "Its nothing. Just leave."

Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. What happened? He plopped down on your bed next to you. "Come on. Tell me." He poked your shoulder. "You know I won't leave until you tell me."

"Its nothing, really." You sniffled, avoiding his gaze.

"Did Enji say something?" Dabi asked, his voice taking a dangerous tone. "Look at me. Did he do something?" He's going to kill that bastard if he-

"What? No. God, just go."

Dabi let out a huff. He'll have to use another strategy. "Fine. Don't tell me. I'll just tell Shotou you have been crying, and then you can answer to him."

Shotou? God, he would just overthink everything and do something stupid.

You caught his wrist just as he was about to leave. "Do you have to be such a jerk every single day?" You glared daggers at him.

Dabi smirked before pulling his wrist away and plopping on the bed next to you. "Yes. Big brother privileges." He poked your cheek. "Now spill."

You looked at him, hoping he'd just get blasted magically. Idiot.

You inhaled deeply before closing your eyes. "Its stupid, really." Dabi stared at you, signalling for you to continue. "Something... happened at school." You paused. "Just a couple of assholes."

Dabi was attentive now. "Go on."

You looked down at your lap, playing with your fingers. "Some kids in my class... they said mean things about me."

"Bullying?" Dabi quirked an eyebrow.

You shook your head. "I- I don't think so. They just said that I only get the highest grade in class because of my dad. Like Enji bribes the school into giving me good marks." You sniffled. "They undermine me. They say I'm not good enough to be in their school, and that the only reason I got in was because of my surname."

Tears dripped down your face slowly, almost as if they were ashamed to fall.

You wiped them away harshly. "And it doesn't matter what I say. I've tried to befriend them, I've tried to get along with them, but they still ridicule me. Its frustrating. They... they don't understand that my only option is to be the best." You whispered the last part, but Dabi heard you loud and clear.

He sat up and gently gripped your chin, turning your face towards him as he narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean 'its your only option'?"

You rolled your eyes. "You know what I mean. I know that no one in the family cares if I get the highest marks or not but...I still have to live up to the family name. What will people say if the number 1 hero's kid is both quirkless and dumb?" Your lips wobbled.

Oh. Ohhhh.

You don't want to let down the Todoroki name; you don't want to let down Enji.

He already knew it was that shithead's fault.

Dabi sighed before pulling you close to him. Placing an arm around your shoulders while his other hand wiped your tears away.

Wanting to prove your worth, that you're a valuable asset to the family. Dabi never thought he'd see himself in you, or his younger self really.

"You're an idiot." Dabi began, carding his fingers through your hair. "You don't have to be the best. You're not expected to. You know, the family knows, hell even I know how hard you worked to get in that school. I've seen how you'd do all nighters, how many times you've turned down going out so that you could do well in your exams. But you don't have to do that." He tilted your chin up, staring into your glossy eyes. "We don't care what the public thinks of us. We won't care if you fail. We don't care you're quirkless. You're not expected to be anything but a good girl." He squished your cheeks together, making you look like a fish. "You just need to be safe. Do you understand?"

You sniffled as you nodded. "Yes. Thank you."

Dabi smiled. "Why didn't you tell anyone before?" You shrugged in response. "You know what would've happened if I said anything. They're already hesitant to let me go to school, this would just give them another reason to homeschool me. Besides, I didn't let their words get to me before, so it really wasn't a big deal." Before? You were about to continue but then kept your mouth shut. But Dabi saw that. He pulled you away from him, his eyes turning sharp as he raised his eyebrows. "But something else happened today as well?"

You averted his scrutinising gaze, keeping your lips sealed as you shook your head no. "Do not lie to me. Or I'll tell Shotou and Enji and then they can handle-"

Your eyes widened. "Do you ever stop making threats?" Rolling your eyes, you told him what happened. "It wasn't anything serious. One of those jerks... thought it'd be funny to try and kiss me. When he tried to force me, I slapped him. Really hard. My handprint still on his face." You smiled at that. "He said the only reason he wasn't using his quirk on me was because I was Todorokis charity case. Then he said that I should be grateful that he was going to kiss me, especially since no one cares about a quirkless, frigid bitch like me." You let out a humourless laugh, but Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. You gave a small smile. "Dont worry. I already know what they said isn't true."

Thats it.

Dabi was already planning murder. He's going to make those little shits pay for what they did to you. The nerve to not only bully you, but make you cry, and then touch you? Dabi is gonna make sure they get tortured in every way possible before he incinerates them-

"Dabi?"

Your soft voice pulled him out of his violent thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Can you... stay the night?"

He looked at your tear stricken face, your eyes were still laden with tear drops, your nose red from all the sniffling.

How could he say no to you? You looked ugly.

"Its okay. You don't have to-" you were cut off by a pillow hitting your face.

"Move over, brat." He climbed in the bed with you, covering you both with the blanket. "And don't put your cold feet on mine." You smiled cheekily at that.

"Don't hog the blanket- why do you need it anyway?"you yanked the blanket.

Dabi pushed another pillow on your face, laughing as you punched his shoulder. "You're insufferable."you mumbled.

It took a while to get comfortable on your single bed, but it ended up with your head on his chest, while Dabi propped himself against the headboard.

"Thank you." You whispered.

Dabi hummed. "Dont think I don't know why you're doing this."

You smiled softly. He caught on to why you were keeping him home that night; you knew he would do something terrible to those guys. "Promise me you won't hurt them?"

Dabi remained silent. You pulled your head away to look up at him. "Dabi. Promise."

When he didn't reply, tears started forming your eyes. He sighed, before shoving your face back into his chest. "Fine, crybaby. I won't hurt them. Promise." You're such a brat, stopping him from doing his big brother duties.

You went back to snuggling him, not taking long for you to finally go to sleep. Once Dabi made sure you were asleep, he pulled out his phone and texted Toga.

"Need a favour. Up 4 stabbing?"

[egglands-worst]

Well, now that I am already here I may aswell ask you about Papyrus, since you want to talk about UT characters

Like, what are your headcanons about his relationship with Sans and/or Gaster?? I remember you talking about some but I would LOVE to hear more, maybe his relationship with Undyne too, hell, even Alphys, Toriel... Papyrus is such and interesting character

OHOHOHOH BOY DO I HAVE HEADCANONS

putting this under a cut because BOY HOWDY IT'S GOTTEN LONG. you asked for this

okay so first of all. i am in love with Dadster and it is definitely a weak spot for me.

anyway. relationship with Sans. They're fantastic brothers! they care about each other a whole lot, and get along perfectly great. However, they're both allergic to communication and there's a LOT of stuff they keep from each other. It kinda strains their relationship a little bit at times (but it still doesn't change the fact that they are siblings and care about each other a whole lot). There might be times Papyrus grows so frustrated that he leaves to go tend to his puzzles in the snowy woods or train with undyne in waterfall for the whole day, or times where Sans just can't deal with things and hides away at grillbys or in his room or various other places around the underground. But they still end up coming home to each other, because they're family, family that's there in reach and they care about each other.

relationship with Gaster can get a little more,, vague. varied. etc. I have headcanons and i have other headcanons for if things were different in this way,, theres so much u can take into account or whatever. so much you can do here.

The Big One is obviously dadster. or even grampster!! I like to thing that Gaster was a loving guardian. Maybe not the Best, he was probably occupied with his job a whole lot and tended to lose track of time, and all that. But he was also very caring and loving, sweet. Papyrus loved him, and he was a sense of safety for him. He taught papyrus all about puzzles and mechanics, until papyrus was old enough to really get into things by himself, and then he taught papyrus how to get the most out of researching. Papyrus relied on him as a support a whole lot, so when Gaster was inevitably Gone, that support crumbled and he ended up having a really hard time for a hot minute. bonus hard time if you do the everyone-forgetting-gaster thing. (if you wanna, ehehn,hg, if you wanna see some stuff i've written for my askblog about papyrus right after gaster got shattered and everyone forgot about him. here.)

but if you DONT do dadster/grampster there's! theres still plenty of things you can think about! He's definitely got Gaster Blasters, so at the very least they have SOME kind of connection. But also, papyrus LOVES puzzles. he says all sorts of weirdly mysterious things sometimes, and never ever says anything about his past at all. He knew gaster somehow. Was Gaster a mentor to him, like how a lot of people headcanon with sans and alphys? Did Papyrus work at the CORE, that massive awesome shifting puzzle of an energy generator?

If he was a mentor to papyrus, I think (again, sweet old man though VERY eccentric) he just. found monsters and effectively adopted them as his interns. sans, alphys, papyrus, etc. the other gaster followers even, perhaps. Papyrus grew Very close to gaster, looked up to him a whole lot because like. gaster was THE guy. Everyone knows about the CORE and its puzzle bits and that's SUCH an incredible feat, entire ROOMS shifting and changing. And gaster was impressed by papyrus's enthusiasm, brought him under his wing. (heh. heheh). Found out about Sans and his own interests in quantum physics and took him in as an intern as well! Alphys and Papyrus ended up bonding over mechanical engineering. science buddies :> Since sans, papyrus, and Gaster were all skeletons, gaster decided to teach them how to use his gaster blaster attack. he didn't have any children of his own, so maybe it was a way to pass on his legacy in a different way than his inventions, who knows.

But, inevitably, gaster is shattered across time and space. relationships grow strained, there might be a bit of forgetting for all parties involved. it's a mess, and it messes up alphys, sans, and papyrus. None of them can really remember gaster or each other, it's confusing and upsetting and they end up not really talking to each other (sans and alphys keep in touch a little more, though)

OR you could go the papyrus is gaster route!! THATS fun. consider! Papyrus hates hotland (bad experiences?), the CORE is a Giant puzzle, papyrus is described as "forgettable" he always seems to want to be paid attention to, to be memorable, for people to acknowledge him,,, He NEver talks about his past. the association with gaster and hands, and papyrus never taking off his gloves. the gaster blasters. Besties with Flowey Somehow!! what does it mean, what does it MEAN-

ahem.

As for just Canon undertale unrelated to any of the dizzying gaster nonsense!

His relationship with undyne is honestly SO fantastic, despite the flaws. First time they meet each other papyrus is knocking on her door in the middle of the night. what an impression. BUT THEN in the morning when he Still hasn't gone away she isn't weirded out like i feel like most people would be, she's just as weird as him in a lot of ways and is impressed with his dedication! She agrees to train him.

They're!!! BESTIES. sobs. She really respects him, and his capabilities! she acknowledges that holy Crap he's really freaking strong, and they both regularly exchange banter on the phone calls and tease each other all the time. sometimes papyrus is so deadpan she doesn't realize he may or may not be joking, but it's no biggie.

but she also knows that papyrus would never, ever kill someone. He doesn't have it in him. and that's not a bad thing! far from it, really. BUT. The royal guard's purpose is to capture humans and their souls. Which would inevitably involve killing him. And she wouldn't ever want to force him to do something like that, no matter how strong of a fighter he is. Of course, She could have just told him that instead of hiding the fact that she wasn't going to let him in the guard, distracting him with different kinds of training and such, but. She can see how much he wants this, and she really really doesn't want to break his heart like that. she just can't hurt her friend that way, so she ends up procrastinating and distracting him.

and papyrus cares about her so much as well! i think it took a while for him to realize that he and undyne were actually friends, and initially when he Did realize it he was really tentative about it. But soon enough, they were complete Besties as nature intended. fish and skeleton. He definitely had a fair bit of hero worship for her at first, but that quickly went away once he saw her being completely hopeless over alphys. and various other silly things that made her so much more real as a person.

she's loud and sometimes has problems regulating her emotions and can be kinda awkward in social situations or not realize things that might be obvious and has intense obsessions and is very passionate about the things she loves! just like papyrus! she is also autistic just like him. they're buddies.

UHHHH

ALPHYS!!!! OH HOW I DESPERATELY WANT THEM TO BE BESTIES.

in the underground, he only really knows her through the various times they've both been hanging with undyne, but mostly online. They've definitely friended each other. Alphys gave him that tile puzzle, of course they know each other at least a Little bit! and papyrus commenting on her undernet posts, etc etc etc. She might think he's kinda weird, but who is she to judge. she watches anime all day and collects mew mew merch, or even makes her own. So maybe papyrus talks a little funny, is a little loud sometimes, and a bit too eager sometimes. So is Mettaton. She's just got weird friends and thats just fine.

Once they get onto the surface, they start interacting face to face a Lot more, and start bonding over puzzles and mechanical engineering and all that fun stuff. Eventually they have inventing sessions once a week where they meet up and just make random stuff. it's great. sometimes undyne comes around as emotional support and makes stuff too (explosions). whenever sans shows up all he does is be difficult but he leaves and there's like. stuff like his joke-quantumphysics-joke-quantumphysics book.

They also bond over being more than a bit socially awkward, and after a while alphys learns to be a bit more open around papyrus because it doesn't seem like it at first but he can really relate to a lot of stuff. The pressure of doing everything right, the social expectations the--

they are both autistic basically and they fire autism buddies beams at each other subconsciously until they achieve autism to autism communication.

Toriel! At first she only knows him through sans, but she can tell that sans cares about him very very much. He often talks about how smart papyrus is, about how determined he can be and just how cool he is. And once she and papyrus really start to get to know each other, he's delighted to learn about the puzzles in the ruins. he asks about their upkeep and how they work and she's happy to answer.

She's probably the one that can tell the easiest when he needs a hug or when he needs some sort of distraction or just a kind smile, out of all of his friends. instincts she has honed from being a guardian to so many people and also shes just like that. They actually have a lot of discussions about all sorts of topics, even if one or the other doesn't really know much. they're conversation buddies.

papyrus admits that he only hates sans's jokes and thats just because they're siblings, and they start making all sorts of jokes at each other. but not when sans is near. she would never upset the sanctity of sibling animosity.

After a while of knowing each other, papyrus awkwardly asks if he can just,, touch her hand, for the sake of touching her hand. he explains that her fur looks so very soft, and he's wanted to feel it ever since they met, even if it might sound really weird. but she says she understands completely, with a knowing smile, and lets him feel the softness of her fur, making sure that she doesn't think it's weird at all. After all, exploring the world around you through texture is a wonderful thing! textures are very fascinating, and it's amazing how some can be so incredibly good, but similar textures can be terrible. Papyrus absolutely lights up at this, and she's glad she can make him smile so genuinely.

Ambassador papyrus stuff,,, because i am a Sucker for that,. she teaches him a lot about being an ambassador, and various leadership stuff, and she's proud of how quickly he picks things up. there's definitely stumbling, and she can tell he's got a fair bit of social anxiety that he's hiding, but he keeps on going. She's glad she can call him her friend, and when she tells him that one day he can't help but tear up and giver her a big hug. Wowie! she cares about HIM, personally, not just what he does and his jokes and his personality, but all of him.

in conclusion this has been an unsubtle pushing my "everyone in undertale is autistic" agenda and also papyrus has a lot more friends than he might believe he does.

[willowser]

willow! happy sunday! ahh so i spent my morning curled up in bed reading pt1 & 2 of ‘southern charm’! and oh my goodness. cowboy bakugou…we all needed this in our life.

i have kind of come off a binge of the show ‘yellowstone’ (cowboy show lol)— which funny enough, i was telling my friend as i binged id never thought cowboys were hotter till that show..but now; i think it has been topped with ‘southern charm’ 😆!

i think the entire setting suits bakugou’s personality so well! in pt1 i really feel like reader was living out a fantasy we all have been guilty of — like hot guy in a bar eyeing you up. and also i think the breakup is a one sided love, sadly loads of us know. so just felt so easy to slip into reader’s mindset (at least for me!). side note: chisaki for the role of germaphobe-cold-ex(?)-bf is so perfect. he isn’t someone i see featured in a lot of fics and so it was a lovely surprise to me and it suits the story so well!

okay so back to thirsting over bakugou — i loved how the entire night he was making sure reader was ‘good’ and re-assuring and calming…and just kept helping reader get out of their own head! and then when he loses his composure for a second finally when he goes to get the condom…i was so into this moment lol. seeing his cool exterior break for a second ahhhh!

so then pt2! ahh i just felt that ‘snap’ happen as he gives reader the “well…i got things to do…” bit, and i know at least a few times in my life i have so badly wanted to let it all out like that. to just stomp away with all that rage, and have the confidence to do it. but its just quick explosion of feelings, because once all that anger is burned through, and the adrenaline gone…the inevitable break down that hits. so for reader to make it all the way to their sister’s house and finally crumble under the weight of all the emotions…it was so incredibly well written & we could feel it.

ah so last note — as i feel like i could ramble on forever whenever i stop by someone’s inbox: i love kirishima and yume’s family, and how i dont think the reader is “jealous” of yume for having this life, but def has a tug of longing while flipping thru all those photos? maybe something like that.. esp coming off the breakup…i am so excited to see where the story will continue but absolutely love all the build up so far! will be lovely to see how everything comes together! i know you had a stressful time getting part 2 out but it was so worth it and all your hard work really shows. thank you for sharing it with us!

so wait — last last note: the snippets of what i am assuming are reader’s story they are working on (?), add another layer to the story as well! very interested in seeing how reader’s experiences are going to shape their own writing…(if i totally got this wrong pls ignore this 😶‍🌫️)

ok done rambling on — pls have a lovely lovely rest of your weekend! ♥️

rin 🥺 dear 🥺 i have been — saving this in my inbox to look back on, because it is so sweet and close to my heart and has been such a blessing to receive ! thank you so much for not only taking the time to read, but for sending this in !!

i'm actually so happy that you mentioned kiri's family ! i think you are the first to do so ! i am vicariously living through them. yume is me. bakugou who. i don't care about him, i just want cowboy kirishima and our lovely two children LOL but i am really glad that how reader-chan feels is coming across correctly, because you are absolutely right; it's not that she's really jealous of her sister, but she just wants to know what that feels like, too, that's all. and it's hard to watch someone get that over and over again, and for you not to receive a crumb ! so i'm really glad there isn't any hostility being read into the text there.

and yes ! the snippets of frances and the stranger in between are meant to be the book reader is working on, and i'm glad that it's clear those two interactions are being a little shaped by what's going on in reader's own life. i hope you enjoy what is to come between those two firecrackers !

again, thank you so much for leaving me such a wonderful message ! it really was hell getting this thing up LOL but to hear your appreciation and receive your praise makes it all worth it, in the end 🌸✨💐🌙