#i dont really like the story I made them for anymore but maybe i'll find a new use for them eventually cause I do really like them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sol-consort · 1 month

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I didn't expect the Thane post, i even forgot my og ask, but by chance, I saw it scrolling through my homefeed (which i dont often check bc im not super active on tumblr) and omfggg, the scream I scrumpt. What a happy suprise! We Thanemancers got fed GOOD. Thank you. My heart feels healed. Now, I will need to invest in creating a time machine, clone you, and send your clone back in time to work on me3. Perhaps make a whole army of clones to make each clone work on the writing for every romance. The Kolyat inclusion is peak. Thank you for not forgetting Kolyat, he really is so inportant to Thane. Geniunly made my entire week. I want to print your post out and chew on it everyday. Thank you!

🫡

I felt bad for taking so long because the chances of the original requester actually seeing the finished fic got more and more slim by the day.

And by some twist of fate you actually end up seeing it!! Even though I only started being active again a couple days ago?? Even though you rarely open tumblr??? The fact it was on your homepage rather than you specifically looking for stuff on the Thane x Reader tag???

I'm beyond happy <333

Most of all, I'm really glad you liked it! That fic might not have been the most intricate vocabulary wise, but god, it drained me creativity wise, having to come up with scene after scene, second doubting myself, erasing and rewriting.

I will never underestimate storyboard writers and script makers after this. It felt like a world champion boxing match where I only managed to win by an inch. Damn that story got hands.

I had to scrab the whole Party and Identity Theft II mission stages because words wouldn't register in my brain anymore. Maybe in the future I'll go back and add them, but for now I'm clinging to my beloved short drabbles.

Then there was this whole letting it rot in my draft for months out of petty bc I thought no one was reading my stuff either way, what's the point in posting it– I got upset at the idea I spent so much effort on one story only for it to possibly end up never read by a single person.

I tried not to gloss over Thane's condition or his impending doom. I didn't want it to be a full escapism–which is ironically my ideal style–but a proper sweet goodbye, a final dance, the chance to experience life by his side a little bit more, a small extension on the deadline before the curtains fall.

And I wanted Kolyat to share the spotlight as well, he deserved so much more. Shepard was there during the confrontation, aware of it or not, you were a turning point in his life as much as his father finally stepping up to take full responsibility for his past actions.

Kolyat and Grunt being best friends came out of nowhere tbh, at that point the characters had a mind of their own. And it hit me, Kolyat grew in the hanar world, it's mostly oceans, he must have gone to swim a lot, he definitely knows about the aquatic life.

What if I give him an interest in marine biology? What if that's what he's persuing in his study in uni, hanar granted him a fully paid scholarship—another bittersweet benefit he got handed in exchange for the ruthless job his father took—while working a part-time job himself, living in a modest apartment and leading an independent life.

But Kolyat is a loner. He has no friends, no significant other, or even pets. Which causes Thane great concern, Drell society values finding a parter a lot. Maybe that's why Thane moved into his apartment to help make him feel less lonely and subtly push him into making friends. Blaming himself for Kolyat's antisocial nature.

So, with Grunt being very fascinated by sharks, a massive extrovert, a natural leader personality, zero hesitation to speak his mind and aim for what he wants. He makes the ideal friend for Kolyat!

The wedding imagery and symbolism in the casino stage are my absolute favourite details. Part of it was because I saw a mod for "wedding dresses" back when I was playing ME2 for the first time, scrolling through the mods page for a nice looking dress to use in the casino mission.

Writing Thane's distraction lines was fun ngl. One scrapped line was about him walking up to a human security guard, mentioning how he's actually dating a human and wanted to get some advice on how to woo you and act, what do humans consider romantic?

But then I remembered Garrus has a similar line, just a little more sexual and I didn't want there to be repetition.

Thane didn't seem like the type to hit on the security guards like other characters, even as mere pretend. He's too devoted to his partner for that. Half of his lines were genuine, wanting to hear about the human's family back on earth as a way to help them vent.

Lastly, you're so kind <3 Thank you so much for your sweet words fosjofjskfks It made me so happy to receive this. I never expected it, which made it just more sweeter.

100% on board with the whole cloning thing, it should've been me on that ME3 writing board! I would've given Cerberus justice I swear! I would've kept Thane alive by the sheer power of love...maybe some prothean magic too.

Like you receive an email for him stating his concern for Kolyat getting into trouble again, he's been coming home more and more late each night. He asks you to investigate, you oblige.

First stage is following his son through the Citadel stealth style, exactly like Thane Loyalty mission in ME2. But it's much shorter and ends once you see Kolyat board an unmarked spaceship.

You follow him, ofc, try to confront him. He's surprised by your presence but then expresses relief rather than acting what you'd expect from someone caught red-handed.

He explains he read in an asari research paper about a prothean technology that could possibly help repair damaged organs, or at least prevent them from degrading even further. But the research has been abandoned since the war and developing biotics took priority.

Kolyat informs you that he's been investigating and managed to get a copy of the whole unedited first draft of the published paper. Some scrapped information in it were apparently the theorised location of the prothean artifact.

He's going there to retrieve it, with or without your help...but he'd be very thankful if you came. He doesn't know how to uh...hold a gun you see, some skills don't pass down in genetics.

You can agree - Thane lives, Kolyat lives

Both of you go there and you can pick only one other teamate. Kolyat is a bit of liability, but bringing him along opens shortcuts and grants you so much lore about him, his late mother, and Thane's past self. It is Kolyat's loyalty mission in a way. You gain the hanar Marine biology branch as a war assest afterwards. You Gain Thane as a new recruit.

You agree, but demand he doesn't come along - Thane lives, Kolyat dies.

He went behind your back and boarded a different shuttle, without the Normandy abilities...the ship barely makes it into the atmosphere before the prothean technology defences shoots it down.

Thane is very visibly depressed and apathetic for the rest of the game. You gain Thane as new recruit.

You refuse and demand he hands you the papers - Thane dies early, Kolyat lives

Plays out the same in canon. You gain Prothean research papers as a war asset.

You refuse - Thane dies early, Kolyat dies

Same as canon but no funeral this time since Kolyat isn't alive to make preparations. You don't gain anything.

I imagine the mission to be your run of the million clearing out a base, etc. Maybe throwing in some stray collectors who were hiding their for old times sake? Bringing Javik and Lara gives unique dialogue, but you can't bring both unless you sacrifice Kolyat.

Bringing Javik informs you early that this technology isn't a miracle maker and doesn't magically fix organs. It simply delays the inevitable a little bit. It grants the sick a short extension on their lifespan, the pain mostly disappears, their health is restored...but it's a mirage. Nothing in reality changes much, placebo is hell of a thing.

However, despite you telling Thane about the placebo, it still takes effect. He makes the most of his time, realising he doesn't want to spend the last of his moments in a hospital bed.

But if you don't bring Javik, then you never discover that fact, which makes the eventual death scene when both of you realise his health is still deteriorating, much more painful.

Ik you're joking about the munching thing, but if you want to save a copy for yourself or just to keep in your files and reread, then I'm more than okay with that. In fact, I crossposted the fic to AO3, which natively lets you download it in any format.

#☆Thane #☆Kolyat #☆shepard reader #☆x reader #☆angst #☆me3 #☆love letters

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lizard-shifter-noms · 1 year

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Wayward Waters Chapter 2

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Hello everyone! Chapter 2!

time to have them explore more of the world!

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

AO3 Link for those that prefer the layout there;

AO3 Wayward waters

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My first assumption upon getting properly on the boat was that I would indeed fit on the deck as an Ardua, three times even.

The second was that the ground wasn't as steady anymore.

The waves that gently swapped against the boat made it rock back and forth slightly, Arthur would probably have thrown up by now already.

I walked over the deck with Robin in tow, taking a closer look at the middle mast and the deck itself.

There were crates strewn about and some crewmates were tying them down to the ship with rope or lowering them into the ship itself through a hole.

Robin leaned so far over one that he almost fell in but I managed to snatch the back of his shirt before he did.

Having him on the deck properly again we went to search for Rikaad, if he was on board already he could tell us what to do.

I could shift into a giant, maybe I could help with the cargo somehow?

Thought that might scare people so maybe not,

not to mention i was still hauling Robin's bag around with me while he had mine slung over his shoulder.

“Do you see Rikaad? Or even the captain? I want to now where to put our stuff”

The ginger shook his head.

“No, I don't even know who the Captain is! Ohh do you think he has an eyepatch? Like a pirate? Or a wooden leg?”

“No idea, I guess look for someone with the fanciest gear? Or like someone with medals on their uniform?”

I kinda doubted the captain would look like one of the pirates from stories, but then again I had no idea what to look for.

Continuing to look around we walked up a set of stairs, where we did find Rikaad talking to a man who wore a big dark red coat that had yellow accents and golden buttons.

Considering he was talking to Rikaad, that was probably the captain.

Rikkad suddenly turned around to face us, as weird as it was that he knew we were there.

“There you are! Come here for a moment i'm going to introduce you to the captain of this vessel”

We walked over as instructed and he introduced the captain, who apparently was named Nemas.

Judging by his appearance, while still human, he wasn't native to Kamerasca and he had a face tattoo in the shape of a thorny rose stalk.

No wonder the ship was called Victory Rose.

“Welcome onboard! I hope none of you are prone to get seasick as we will spend a few days on the sea!”

Without missing a beat Robin replied.

“No, we left the one that gets sick back at home!”

the captain roared with guttural laughter.

“AHAHAHA good one! One less thing to worry about then, last time I had a seasick guy onboard he fell in the water! Now then I'll have one of my crewmates show you your cabins later! We only need to tow the last crate and get all of the crew!”

He jumped over a railing to the lower part of the big deck and I could see from up here he was filling his lungs with air.

“GUYS! GET YOUR SHIP WIVES AND GET READY! WERE ABOUT TO LEAVE HARBOR!”

That guy could yell loud, I should have held a hand over my ears, and what the hell were ship wives?

Whatever, I followed Rikaad and Robin down again to the deck where a sailor with a scarred throat mentioned for us to follow.

We did as instructed and the man led us to a bunch of cabins in the back of the ship, Rikaad got the biggest seeing as he was king.

Robin and I got one somewhat close and tossed our bags inside before going back on deck to watch the city get smaller and smaller behind us.

How weird, my entire life I had spent scared of being murdered in the city, and now I was on a ship to the trader islands with the king himself.

To Make sure I REALLY wasn't dreaming I pinched myself, yeah no, wide awake.

But still crazy to think about, so I just sat there for a while and watched Kamerasca get smaller and smaller.

But I still made sure to keep an eye on Robin who clambered all over the place, ready to sprint after him should he even get close to falling in the water.

After a few minutes of that he joined me and we watched as Kamerasca slowly disappeared, talking about what details we could still make out.

At some point nothing of Kamerasca was visible anymore, not even the Castle and I had to admit this was a very fast boat despite its size.

Not that I knew anything about sailing though.

Since it was midday when we left it was only a few hours till dinnertime, I wondered what that would be like on the ship, did they also have a big table? Did that even fit in here?

Though maybe they would just hand out rations to the people and leave them to eat them on their own.

I did see a table in the captains quarter, though that one had been full of maps and other stuff I couldn't even name, Oakley would have had a blast with that I'm sure.

I decided to look around the deck a bit while Robin went and talked the ears of some sailor off about the boat and whatnot.

What I did find weird was that none of the sailors even batted an eye at me, considering my bastard status and pointy ears that was a tad strange.

I decided to talk to a few of the sailors out of curiosity.

As it turned out they just didn't care, and had seen way weirder things on their journeys, they even pointed out the various injuries they had gotten from unusual creatures.

For example a missing finger from a horned wolf who had looked pettable for way too short and a chunk bitten out of someone's leg by a seadrake, as well as the sailor from before with the scarred throat.

The other ones told me he was mute which made sense given he hadn't made a single sound and the reason for that and the scars was that he got into a bar brawl with a tall and bumpy skinned guy that had possessed tusks.

Apparently the being aimed to rip out his throat with said tusks and I winced in sympathy, that must have hurt as hell!

But he obviously survived, and when I asked how they told me their Captain had fought the attacker and cut his head off with the tusks still embedded in the mute man's throat.

They brought him to a doc like that to prevent him from bleeding out.

What a wild story! And it was nice to know that according to them it was one of the least freaky things they came across.

They also told me they kept the tusks and they were somewhere in the captain's quarters.

These guys had quite the wild stories! And scars to match!

Suddenly a three legged gray cat with a blue bandana tied to its neck jumped up next to me and startled me.

The sailors laughed and told me the cat was named Smokey and supposed to catch rats and mice on the boat.

They had fished him out of the ocean in a bag and suspected someone tried to get rid of him like that.

The cat suddenly meowed with the most scratchy voice I could imagine, not even some of the hardcore smokers in the taverns of Kamerasca sounded like that!

No wonder he was called Smokey, not only did he have gray fur he also had a voice like he had gargled gravel.

“Mrechechech!”

The furball looked at me for a moment with weirdly yellow eyes before sprinting away to some crates.

“He's got good ears! Probably sensed a rat or something!”

For something with three legs he was pretty fast I had to admit.

Before anyone could say anything else a loud gong sounded from who knew where and the sailors all stood up and walked towards some carts that had been brought out by what I assumed were the cooks.

Suddenly I got tackled by Robin, who squealed in joy.

“They have a cat on board! And he has a job! Have you seen it? I wanna see it!”

I took a few seconds to recover from that, so he was aware of Smokey but hadn't seen him huh?

“Uh yeah i have, Smokey if i recall correctly? I think he went to hunt some mice? Maybe if you wait you'll see him?”

He pouted for a second before noticing the carts as well.

“Is that food on the carts? Do you think we are allowed to have some?”

Good question.

“Uhh lets ask someone first, they may have made extra somewhere for us so we don't intrude over there”

He nodded and we went to look for anyone who looked like they knew about such stuff.

Not finding one we decided to just knock on the captain's door to ask him.

He opened it with a sandwich in his hand that smelled strongly of fish.

“Ah hello there, can I help you with anything?”

He seemed confused, probably thinking someone had already told us what to do.

Robin answered him faster than I could.

“Hi! Do you know where we are supposed to eat? We can't find our group!”

His brain was all over the place once again it seemed, but at least Nemas didn't seem bothered by the blunt question.

“Ah, I knew I forgot something! Sorry about that, I was busy with the maps! I think you can just go to the kitchen and ask, no wait you don't know where that is, eh, let me show you”

With hat he stepped out of his room and winked us to follow him, fishy smelling sandwich still in hand.

I just shrugged and went after him with Robin right behind me.

He led us down some stairs not far from his door and showed us how to get to the kitchen.

It looked pretty much like a normal kitchen, aside from the fact things were bolted extra secure to the ground, like the tables and other working spaces.

Made sense, if bigger waves hit they would just slide around.

He organized us some bread and marmalade and then led us back to the deck.

I silently thought next time we should just look for Rikaad.

We still thanked him and he went back into his own room, half eaten fish sandwich in hand.

How he could stand to eat something that smelled like that was beyond me though.

Deciding not to put crumbs all over the place we ate near the railing, only to have to flee to our cabins as seagulls appeared.

So we ended up eating in our shared cabin instead, picking a feather out of my shirt.

The thing was still completely intact so I put it in the wooden box I took with me.

No idea what for but maybe someone would want it as a souvenir?

After eating we decided to unpack what we needed and I saw that the room had a bed and a hammock so we would have to choose who got what.

“Which one do you want? Bed or hammock? I'm fine with either as long as i don't fall on my face”

Robin shrugged.

“Uhh can I have the bed? Last time i went in a hammock i managed to get trapped in the fabric somehow”

Why did that not surprise me?

“Sure, take the bed, but make sure that when we leave to check under it for your stuff”

He nodded and started searching for something in his bag while I hung my own on a hook on the wall and climbed into the hammock to test it out.

It was alright, it swayed with the motion of the sea which had a strangely soothing effect.

Grabbing my bag I fished out the medication Oakley gave me against the nightmares and took what he prescribed from it.

It was late and running all over the boat today had been exhausting, especially as I had to balance myself a lot on the unusually swaying ground.

Yawning and wishing Robin a goodnight I fell asleep pretty quickly.

I got woken up by Robin this time, which was worlds better than Nea as the only thing he did was poke my shoulder.

“Mhm?”

I blinked blearily at him.

“It's breakfast time! And this time I know where to go!”

Oh right, that was good, how long had he been awake for?

At least half an hour if he found that out already.

“Really? Good, gimme a minute i'll be right out”

“Okay! I'll try to find the cat! I really wanna see it!”

He nodded excitedly and weaseled out of the room, probably to go onto the deck.

Yawning, I stretched and then awkwardly climbed out of the hammock.

I really wasn't used to that huh.

Whatever, this arrangement wasn't for terribly long anyway.

I grabbed my shoes and slipped them on before following Robin up to the deck.

He was there staring up the middle mast with curiosity.

I went next to him and looked up as well to try and see what had captured his attention.

“There's a guy up there! What do you think he's doing?”

Looking up I could indeed see a leg stick out from a platform at the top.

Ohh what was that called again? Something Nest or so?

“i think that's the lookout, like the guy that informs people if there's land nearby or other ships”

He tilted his head like an inquisitive dog.

“Really? You think we could go up there?”

What? Up there? Quite frankly as interesting as that was, it seemed dangerous, especially for people that had never done this.

“I'm not sure if we are allowed to, besides that doesn't look very safe so id rather not, what if i fall? Or fall on top of someone?”

Falling itself was bad enough, falling on top of someone else was even worse as then I wouldn't even be the only one injured.

“Oh, you're right, and that does look pretty high up, so maybe not”

I nodded and he dragged me to where he last saw Rikaad, which turned out to be the same spot where he introduced the captain to us.

He was still there even, as well as the captain who apparently told some tale that happened to him sometime.

Man these sailors loved telling stories huh?

He was just about done with the story when we walked up the stairs though.

“Ah hello there boys! Hope sleeping with the waves moving the boat wasn't too bad for you!”

In my opinion it had been fine actually.

“Yeah it was pretty okay”

He saluted and then jumped over the railing onto the main deck again.

Rikaad looked after him.

“I do not think that man likes stairs”

Then he turned to us and before he could say anything Robin had tackled him in a hug.

To Rikaads credit he didn't even flinch, or even move a millimeter.

Instead of doing the normal thing and telling him to let go Robin was hoisted over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

Right, Rikaad was strong, so it was no wonder that he just carried Robin like that while he led us to an empty but pretty big cabin that had tables haphazardly bolted to its floor.

On the tables itself which had strange indents so the plates wouldn't slide off was some food, half of which I did not recognize.

And most of what i did not recognize was some sort of fish anyway, well it probably was the cheapest and most efficient thing to do.

Remembering the not so good smelling sandwich of the captain I'd probably leave that alone though.

While I tried to choose what to eat, Robin had already run around the tables and grabbed random things, Rikaad was nowhere to be found once again.

I went to a table that was in the corner away from the other tables which had some strange brown blocks stacked onto it.

One of the sailors was sawing a piece with a serrated bread knife.

Deciding to be bold i asked the man what that was.

“What is that? Some type of bread?”

He turned to me while stacking some of the crumbly stuff on his plate.

“Hardtack! It's basically made from flour and water and some salt”

The entire thing only had three ingredients? No wonder it looked so strange, but then what was the white stuff? Wait did it move?

“Uhh why is it moving? What is that?”

“Oh that's maggots!”

Replied the sailor in a cheerful voice and scooped some of them onto his plate with the Hardtack before walking away.

I tried my best not to gag and instead went outside, As an Ardua I didn't need to eat as long as I had sunlight and I've never been more glad for that than now.

I really regretted asking now but there was nothing to be done about that.

No wonder that table was away from the other ones, but why the FUCK would a maggot infested salty flour block even be a meal option?

No, I didn't want to know, but considering it was made from only three easy to get ingredients it was probably meant for longer journeys where they couldn't stock up on fresh things.

Still, eew.

I didn't really want to go back inside so I walked over the large deck again, looking into the grid covered holes into the holding room of the ship.

Through the sparse light I could make out lots of crates tied to the ship and I wondered what was inside of it.

Maybe I could ask someone? Or would that be rude?

As far as i knew the cargo might as well be classified or whatever.

That and most of the people were still eating, at least the ones that weren't needed to keep the ship going where it was supposed to.

Looking up at the sunlight I kinda wished I could just turn into my Ardua form and take a nap on the deck.

But I didn't know if the ship would hold me or not, but maybe I could ask the captain? He did call the shots here after all.

Where was he anyway? Back in his cabin?

Since that was where he was last time I decided to check there, politely knocking on the door.

I heard footsteps on the wood and after a moment he opened the door, this time holding an entire smoked fish, who at least didn't smell bad.

“Ah hello! Do you need help with anything?”

He seemed quite confused, which honestly was fair.

“Uh, I just wanted to ask some things about the ship? If I'm allowed to?”

He winked me inside, waving his smoked fish around and I followed him inside.

“Of course! I always love talking about my ship!

It used to belong to my grandfather but I inherited it because my father would rather work a sawmill for whatever reason, but hey if something here gets broken he's the best man to fix it!”

I felt like I was in for a not that factual rambling.

“Oh that's nice, I just wanted to ask some basic things really, like how much cargo can this vessel hold?”

He motioned for me to sit on a chair that was covered in maps,

which I politely set on the ground.

As I sat down I spotted a weird set of coat hangers screwed into the wall and it took me a second to recognize them as tusks, probably the same ones from that one sailors story.

So they weren't kidding huh?

“How much can it hold? Well if you're smart about weight distribution that can be multiple tons! Of course that does depend on the crate sizes and how heavy the things we transport actually are!

For example if we transport cotton that's a whole lot lighter and easier to distribute than like Marble blocks!”

He stopped gesticulating with the fish for a second, biting a chunk out of it.

“Oh wait, I think I get why you ask that!”

He did? What?

“You do? What?” He slapped the fish loudly onto a random plate.

“Your king has already informed you of the thing with the enemy ships and since my dear Victory Rose here has a very large and flat deck that can hold multiple tons he asked me to bring you guys there!

He also informed me that one of his men could shapeshift, which is why they needed my boat and didn't take the Royal fleet!

So by that I'm assuming you're the shapeshifter? Do you really turn into a giant green lion?“

I was taken aback by that information, Rikaad had just told him that? Then again he did say he'd like me for the intimidation factor and doing that one a normal boat would just make it sink.

And informing the captain that I would eventually do that was probably the only option to not randomly get harpooned, so it did make sense.

I just wish he told me that.

“Uh, yeah, yeah I do turn into a giant ‘green lion’ though it's called an Ardua sooo…

Uh the thing i was here for was to actually ask if i could shift on the deck?

Like if i do that i can just use sunlight instead of food and also showing what it looks like in a calm environment might be a good idea instead of suddenly having a giant being appear while in conflict with other ships?”

He clapped his hands loudly and I flinched back.

“Brilliant! What a good idea to demonstrate so my sailors don't get a heart attack! Having them distracted during a fight would be a bad thing! Especially since a ship requires a lot of things at once to sail properly!”

Huh, I was just rambling out of nervousness but he thought it was a good idea? Well I wasn't complaining.

He stood up abruptly and walked to the door, I followed behind him still a bit taken back by the waterfall of words he'd used.

He turned to me as he opened the door and strolled out backwards.

“Got any more questions? Oh since you don't really need to eat as long as you can shift have you even tried the food on the ship? If so, how'd you like it? The cooks I have onboard are from all over the known trade routes!”

That guy could talk a lot, even more so than Robin who at least tried to stay on topic.

“Uhh, i did look at the tables? But I did go outside again after I was offered what one of your men called ‘Hardtack’.

I'm not a fan of eating live bugs and the stuff was teeming with maggots sooo…”

Alone the memory made me suppress a shudder, i didn't want to be rude but maggot infested flour block was not something i wanted on my plate.

“Ah the good ol’ Hardtack, it's for the longer journeys! And since it's only flour and a little bit of salt with water there aren't many nutrients in it!

Maggots on the other hand are full of em’! So like half the sailors started eating them with the hardtack when there wasn't much else!

I guess some of them came to like it and now they are eating them even when we got other stuff!

Also one of the cooks figured out how to fry them so they taste even better!

Though i guess to a landrat like you that seem rather unappealing”

Ah, that made some sense? Probably?

If they got used to it they were not as squicked by it as others i guess.

And the captain really did talk a LOT, which i didn't find always necessary but whatever, as long as i understood what he was saying it was fine.

I started to regret asking as he led me to the front side of the large deck but there was nothing to be done about that now.

Ughhh and only because a bunch of maggots squicked me out!

To be fair the sight had briefly reminded me of what I had seen in the forest so long ago.

I had basically kidnapped Robin back then and walked aimlessly through the forest where some weird multi eyed fox deer with tusks rammed a maggot infested tree only to have magpies swarm down and eat them.

Not a fond memory, and I still had no idea what that even was about.

I didn't want to anyway.

Captain Nemas led me to the front of the deck where there was enough space and told me to just hang out here while he informed the crewmantes.

Oh, that would mean they would stare at me, Now I really regretted asking.

But my rambly assessment that it was better to show them beforehand what the Ardua looked like was still valid.

I wasn't keen on having someone aim the ships cannons at me because they got scared or confused me for an enemy.

Also it was a little funny seeing him run around in his captain's coat and hat and tell his sailors not to freak out when a Giant ‘Green lion’ appeared today.

He was talking as unrelenting as the waves crashing against the boat and chatted to everyone about whatever they were doing.

That took quite a lot of time, during which Rikaad actually appeared, which made me wonder where the fuck he was staying on the ship.

“I have to say, informing them beforehand what an Ardua looks like is a good idea, less chance of anyone freaking out and losing focus should we clash with the Maringand Boats”

I numbly nodded at him, while it was the smart thing to do I still wasn't really comfortable having people stare at me.

I didn't even want to talk about that as I was sure I'd lose my nerves beforehand.

So I talked about the first thing that came to mind, which was still the Hardtack thing.

“I guess so, did you see that they have some sort of maggot flour block called hardtack? After i saw that i just went outside again”

His usually rather emotionless face cracked for a moment, and it was safe to assume by the face he made for a split second that he did indeed see it.

“I have, regrettably so, seen it and then left the room just like you did”

Glad to know I wasn't the only one who had a negative reaction to it.

“Well someone did explain why that was there, but a warning would have been nice still”

He nodded in agreement and I had a feeling neither of us would go back there today.

Looking past Rikaad I could see captain Nemas still running around, which on the ever swaying boat was impressive as he'd not once fallen over.

By now he had informed the majority of the sailors, some of which just continued working,

apparently not thinking anything much of it.

Hoo fuck, but at least there were barely any people gawking as i was sure my nerves wouldn’t have been able to handle that.

As i thought Nemas was done taking his mouth off at the sailors and came back over, waving at us as he did so.

“Well! Now nobody should freak out! If you're sure there's enough space you can show what your other form looks like!

I do wonder though why it's green? An animal isn't a plant after all,

then again I rarely see either of those out on the ship anyway!”

Tuning out the captain talking on and on I stood a few paces away and turned the gem on the bracelet that let me shift.

In barely a moment I changed into the familiar giant form of the Ardua.

For a second i expected someone to scream or otherwise be terrified but as it was no one gave really a fuck.

These guys were weird, well so was i.

The only one gawking at me with curiosity was the captain, but he was mainly staring at my back, saying in the most confused voice I had ever heard.

“Are those plants? On your back I mean, and are those dandelions? aren't you a mammal? Not a plant?”

I loafed like a cat on the deck to get more stability on the swaying wood before answering him.

“Well, yes that's plants, but I'm still a mammal, they just grow there like hair, I think they are meant to help me absorb sunlight? Not sure though”

He came a little closer to examine it in more detail, an almost childlike wonder in his eyes.

Well, he did imply to have lived on the ship for most of his life, so who knew when he'd gotten to see field flowers closeup last time?

Just then Robin walked out of the ship, a gray colored cat in his arms.

When he noticed me in my Ardua form his face visibly brightened and he walked over as fast as he could without tripping or dropping the cat.

Strangely enough the cat didn't seem to mind as Robin put him on the ground in front of me, instead opting to brush up against my elbow and upper arm.

It was weird that cats weren't scared of me, they had every reason to.

Maybe it was because I somewhat looked like a big version of them?

“I think there's catnip growing on your shoulder and elbow”

Catnip? Why that? And how did Robin even know what that looked like?

Oh wait nevermind that last question, but still, catnip? No wonder the tiny Felines still came up to a giant plant lion thing like the Ardua.

It wasn't that they weren't scared, they just wanted catnip.

I felt kinda disappointed by that, I had hoped that I wasn't so scary even in that form but as it turned out they just wanted one of the plants that grew on me.

But that was still better than them being scared so there was at least that.

I stayed as an Ardua for the rest of the day, with Robin sitting next to me or using me as a pillow while cuddling with the three legged cat.

The cat himself purred at the attention, Which considering his voice sounded terribly scratchy and stopped at random intervals to pick back up stutteringly a moment later.

The sailors for the most part were only mildly distracted, not really caring somehow about the, who even knew how tall, Ardua next to them on the deck.

The only one that complained was someone that needed to move a heavier crate where I was in the way.

That was solved by standing up for a bit and letting me shove it through under myself.

While sunning myself I heard some of the sailors tell more stories, some of them even about sea monsters.

Huh, i wondered if there were any sea monsters in these waters, I hoped not.

Though it was really strange that no one batted an eye at me unless I was in the way, so I decided to ask Nemas the next time he came within earshot.

“Nemas! I have a question, could you come over here for a second?” He walked over to me at a brisk pace and tugged at his coat when it got snagged by the corner of a crate.

“What is it? Don't tell me you got seasick! That would be bad! Or is-”

I interrupted him before he talked even more again.

“No, I'm fine! Really! I just wanted to ask how you and your men are so indifferent? I guess? About a literary Giant with claws on your boat, i mean anyone else would be pretty afraid”

He tilted his head for a moment and I could see his tattoo in great detail.

“Well, we aren't afraid of you because you really can't do anything to us without also dooming yourself.

You don't know much about ships, and a big one like this needs many people to keep going, on top of that if you even where to destroy it then you'd be stuck in the middle of the ocean and drown.

So we don't really have any reason to be afraid, if you fuck us over then you're also absolutely screwed!”

Oh, well, he was right about that, if anything happened to the boat I'd just go down with it, and that would suck.

So really, they didn't have reason to believe I would do that, I didn't know shit about boats anyway.

Then Nemas pointed at the cat who was laying on top of a sleepy Robin.

“Also Smokey doesn't seem to have anything against you! And thus far he's always hissed at shady people!”

Huh, id better not mention the catnip then?

Probably better if I didn't.

Though if their bar was, cant fuck us over without dooming themselves and the judgement of a three legged cat they might run into big trouble someday.

Though they also agreed to let us on board to fight other ships.

These guys were weird, though I had not much room to talk in that regard.

It wasn't too long after that the sun went down so I shifted back to the human sized one much to the dismay of Robin and the cat who now had no more catnip.

To be fair he had chewed a good chunk off my elbow so there was bound to be some on the ground.

I gave him a friendly pat on the head and then left for my quarters with a tired Robin behind me.

How he was tired after doing basically nothing was a mystery to me, though maybe he'd run around the inside of the ship while I had shifted.

Whatever, I went to my hammock and used the rest of the daylight to try and read something Rikaad had lent me to help me get better at reading.

It was a book about how to write neatly and legibly, of course he'd pick something like that for me.

The book itself was incredibly boring, so much so that I fell asleep before it got properly dark.

The next time I woke up was because I got flung out of the hammock and face first onto the floor.

What the fuck?-

“Ouch!”

The book that was previously on my lap landed on my head.

I tossed the thing to the side before standing up with a pounding head.

Only to fall over immediately again.

Getting my senses back in order I noticed that the entire floor was tilting left and right like mad, making balancing a nightmare.

Then I heard it, loud waves crashing against wood and the heavy pitter of rain.

A storm!

The ship tilted heavily to the left and I slid on the wooden floor into the table.

Ugh, good thing it was bolted down to the floor.

I looked over to where Robin's bed was only to find it empty.

What? Where was he?

I fell over again to the other side into the wall, the book I had tossed earlier colliding with my leg.

Grabbing at the wall i stood back up again, trying to see if Robin was anywhere else in the small room.

He wasn't there.

Why? It had been late, He should be here sleeping?

Wait, his bed was anchored to the floor, and thus would have noticed the crazy waves sooner than me!

He must have gone out to ask what was going on!

Oh no, oh no OH NO

I stumbled out the door and went along the little walkspace that led to the cabins, trying to get to the outside door without falling over too much.

At one point shortly before I reached the door the entire ship went sideways, making me slam into what was previously the wall.

That would leave bruises for sure.

Then the gravity went back again, and this time I slammed into the actual floor.

I was now VERY glad they kept everything bolted down.

I managed to get to the stairs only to slam into them as the ship dipped forward, but I managed to catch myself with my shoulder instead of face.

Not bothering to stand up here as I would just fall again I crawled up on all fours, only stumbling twice.

When I reached the top I grabbed the doorknob, holding on for dear life as another wave hit the ship, making the door slam open and me into the adjacent wall while holding on like mad.

Swinging around I could actually look outside, well look was a bit much.

There was a LOT of rain, so much so that I could only make out what was there up to the middle mast of the ship.

Fuck, i hoped Robin was only on the other side somewhere and not in the ocean.

Maybe he was lucky and managed to shelter in the dining room.

I heard a strange strangled and scratchy yowl then, something that definitely wasn't human.

Looking around I saw nothing at first, and over the tosing water it was hard to make out where the noise came from.

Then I heard it again and managed to somewhat pinpoint where it Originated from.

It was the gray cat! He was tangled in a spare rope that had tied itself around the first mast!

Oh fuck! The poor thing!

Against better judgment and survival instincts I went out to the deck to try and get him.

I grabbed another rope that was used to tether a crate that was long since gone now and used it to not fall overboard when the ship tilted.

I slid around horribly and sometimes the waves crashed over the railing, dousing me and making it extremely hard to get to the cat.

I reached him eventually after a big wave drenched us both even more.

I untied him as best as I could in the ever shifting environment while I tried not to slide around too much while also holding onto the rope I had picked up.

I managed to untie him after fumbling around and he still clung to a part of the rope.

I grabbed him with one arm and held him against my chest where he immediately dug the claws of his remaining front leg in.

That was fine, as long as I got him to safety.

I was thrown over on my ass as another wave hit the ship, making it jerk suddenly.

While falling over I could see a bit more of the latter half of the ship as I was now closer than before.

My heart stopped for a second as I saw a familiar redhead hold onto another familiar form that was tethered by a rope to who knew what.

Why were Rikaad and Robin out here???

I couldn't go over though, I still held the cat, so I got as close to the open door as I could and tried to stay steady, which was an incredibly hard task.

I grabbed the cat that was clinging onto me for dear life and then, as mean as it was, tossed him down the stairs into the ship so he wouldn't fall off the boat into the ocean in this storm.

I looked back again to where I last saw the other two, noticing there were some sailors as well struggling to close the main sail.

Oh, that's why there were people out, they needed to close the sail!

Another wave hit the ship, making me stumble.

I watched in horror as the rope Rikaad was tied to while holding Robin suddenly snapped, making them slide over the deck.

To my great relief Rikaad managed to hold onto the railing and Robin at the same time, now they just had to get away from there!

They tried to make their way inside, using the rail as an anchor to try and stay upright while they walked as water sloshed heavily over the boat, threatening to make them slip with each step if they weren’t careful.

The floor lurched beneath them for a moment as another wave hit the side of the ship, but thankfully they were able to keep their grip on the rail while the sailors continued to try and pull the sail.

Then another wave hit and I was flushed over the railing in a rush of water, banging against the side of the ship as I dangled from the rope.

Only to be hit by another wave that transported me back onto the ship barely a second later.

that was terrifying as fuck, never again please.

There was a loud boom and lightning hit the middle mast, breaking it and making it tip over.

Right to where Rikaad and Robin were!

Oh no!

Without thinking I let go of the rope and sprinted over the deck towards them, not caring about the slickness of the wood.

While I ran as fast as I could I twisted the gem on the bracelet to turn into the Ardua form and dashed forward to stop the heavy wooden pole from falling on top of them.

Instead the thing crashed on top of me.

I slid from the sudden weight and when another big wave hit the boat I was swept over the side into the cold water.

I resurfaced only to have the broken mast hit me square on the head, dragging me under from the force.

At that point my body decided it had taken enough damage to warrant blacking out, which I promptly did as I sank under the waves.

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

#sstc #lizards writing #vore story #g/t vore #g/t story #giant/tiny #extreme cuddling #original characters #original character #original story #Ardua #Kamerasca #Maringand #Barmea #Ship #still subject to change #nsx vore

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ginoeh · 8 months

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Shipper Tag Game

I was tagged by the lovely @tj-dragonblade , thank you!

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don’t care about anymore?

As a teenager... well, that was quite a while ago lol. I suppose that would have been Harry/Draco. First fandom, first queer pairing, first smut stories. I was such a sweet sweet summer child XD The early 00s were wild

Which ship would you consider your first one?

Soooo. Funny story. Way back when, I got into fanfiction via fanfiction.net. You know how their filter system is bad/non-existent? Yeah. Little me, on her first outing to ffnet, didn’t know how to operate the character settings. I clicked on the first story on the top of the first page of the HP section. It was a Snape/Hermione star-crossed lover deal. It flash-fried my brain, taught me content curation in a crash course and incidentially made me partial to the ship for quite a few years...

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

See above lol. I will never ever forget the experience. I tried to find that story later for downloading (like an ugly beloved keepsake ig lol) but never managed.

If you mean fanfic I've written: it was gen.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

Kakashi/Obito

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

Nope. Scraped by a few times since I entered the tumblr bubble but managed to stay out of it. I don’t get the point. It's freaking fictional characters in fictional worlds. Go touch grass or something instead... (but you will make me fucking mad if you try to drag me into these things with wild ad hom accusations based on what i ship or dont ship)

Did you used to have a NOTP or have one currently?

No, not really. It's only ever preferences. There are some I dislike due to my own hc/inability to suspend my disbelief but I wouldn’t call them NOTPs. I just don’t read them.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

Dreamling

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

I actually dislike the term OTP. It's a scale of preferences for me. There are few (read: none) fav characters that I can only see with one love interest (and anyway, sometimes i do prefer plot over love story. wild take i know) and the more time I spend in a fandom the more I diversify.

Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting into?

I don’t get this question, sorry. If I'm interested, I'll search it out. Even if the fandom is old. AO3 is an archive for exactly that reason.

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they’re kind of interesting?

Not that I can think of, at the moment!

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Probably? I'm not clear on what all one is getting cancelled over this week/month/year by which group of 'concerend bystanders'. I suppose I might get cancelled for the mentioned Hermione/Snape?

What is your favourite crack ship?

I'm so glad you asked. It's clearly Dream/Helm (thank you for that @writing-for-life ) Or Gollum/The One Ring (thanks go to Neil himself here). Or - actually, never mind lol.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

At the moment it's Dreamling. But I cycle through fandoms/pairings periodically...(btw im looking for more Johanna/Death? If anyone could point me in the right direction?)

What do most of your ships have in common?

At least one character has a dark/unknown/violent/tragic past (they can be victim or perpetrator!!! I'm all for character development babey)

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

I don’t hate ships? As I said above. Possibly the reduction on 'I can fix him/her' or 'my love will save him/her from depression/"the darkness"/etc.' but that is mostly a matter of the author's style of crafting characterization and plot and has nothing to do with the ship itself.

I'm tagging @bazzybelle , @seiya-starsniper , @writing-for-life if you want to or maybe just point me towards your post if you've done it already?

#ginoeh talks #tag games

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kulemii · 2 years

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i got really mad at myself because i felt like i was a shit writer since all i put out was smut and i felt like i was incapable of making anything else. i felt like i boxed myself in and didn't hone any reputable skills. i suck at describing shit. i dont know my characters. my mind felt so blocked up all the time. i know there are things that i put out that people seem to like but i feel like i'll never be able to top those things. my abandoned projects? 10-Nen for example, i was going through hell writing Fun & Games but i told myself that i was doing it for me. to try to get a good grasp on the way i write kiryu but no one would find it even if i did post it. so i did. and then the comments came. and OF COURSE they were flattering, i dont wanna diminish that but they made me hold what people like about my stories under a microscope and i tried to do more of that and once i started doing that, it all stopped coming to me

so i said i'd forget about what people say and go back to what i was doing before, writing to better my skills (or whatever i can call it) and yet nothing came to me. i was always worried that no matter how much effort i put into it, it wont be as good anymore, people wont like it anymore. and it stopped coming to me.

so i said forget about what people say, forget about getting better, write to understand the characters and the worlds i create for them. and then i felt every single thing i ever knew about them all dissolve before my eyes and every single character became a stranger to me. if i wrote in that state, it most definitely wont be good enough.

so i stopped. i told myself that i was done with writing. i would try to finish this one big project and sure, if i sporadically get the motivation to work on other things, i'd cross that bridge when i got there- but intentionally writing? i said that once doal was done, so was i. forget the wips. no more from me.

but then i stopped being able to work on doal because it no longer came to me. this was the one thing that i was working on that felt like it was going to be good. the one thing that i can do and i know for sure no one else would care enough to scale, but now i dont even have that.

i talked to my therapist a little while ago about these thoughts and she was pretty much like "you know what? you seem to operate on a scale of Good or Bad. in life but even your hobbies. what if you made decisions based on what you like instead of whether it's going to result in something good or bad. what if it wasnt so black and white? what if you just let yourself have fun. enjoy yourself?" that's basically the gist of what she said. i dont have a direct quote lol

since then I've been thinking about it on and off and im like damn, i stopped liking writing a long time ago. and it was because i always felt that nothing i could make would be good enough. but if i did just write to indulge in myself, to explore MY fantasies, to just have fun, maybe everything else will just fall into place?

for at least two and a half years, I've been lying to myself saying 'oh i write for me. that's why i dont take requests' but it wasnt true. when i was writing i was always thinking about if You Guys would like it and i was keeping parts of me out of my writing because i didnt think it was going be Good Enough for You. but im done with that. the truth is, i'll never know what you guys want. unless im opening the door for that dialogue but i dont take requests. i need to get back to thinking about me. writing for me. enjoying my craft for me and saying to myself 'if no one else likes it, fine because i love it.'

if, when i can do that, I'll go back to loving what i do. and everything else will come naturally. be it smut, fluff, a multi-chapter drama or even a fucking fake game that no one but me cares about.

i cant wait to get there

#kulemiirl #im not blaming anyone but myself here #what i say You i mean an audience i mean it as a general statement it could be anyone #please understand where im coming from and dont take that as an insult bc i never meant it that way

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fuka-petals · 1 year

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incoherent and shit rambling on bakery abominations (my ocs) under cut

realized I never really just lore dumped here sooo... can't do too much because I actually am writing a novel (maybe vn if I get creative) abt them but so like they're silly cake people uh anatomy is basically boneless and organless but they have thicker cake layers on the inside that work as bones and they don't need organs because magic there is literally no explanation they're just like the abominations (get it) that just kinda defy all odds and exist, also they don't actually have like hair it's just frosting, their blood is also frosting, and like their teeth is sprinkles and eyes are just frosting and sprinkle stuff that kinda moves, their horns are also sprinkles (all this as in material wise idk) and like they can like die of they have no horns its like a health bar, they also have like silly kids by removing a horn and limb then attaching them then holy hell it fucking grows wtf they also all are constantly in pain due to their wings unless they dont have any or they are extremely light, and also they all look different because cakes have cool decorations, also like humanity is mainly extinct other than like a dozen ppl, anyways like the main 4 bitches are called the peace pastries and like it consists of shortcake (like the silliest main guy ever kinda mascot), zivix, litan, and lily, and like they're all really silly but also dumb but like they don't like shortcake's sister alice who is like a cultist like many of the other abominations because they all either have a god complex or believe those with a god complex really are gods so they worship them anyways alice is like a really shitty person and only values human lives and she also kills a ton of the other abominations and sews their parts onto herself as a sort of "look at me im superior to you" kind of thing so like they set off on a mission to make her sane but like he has basically no contact with her due to this so they gotta go find her by going and taking down other cults through words or force, also there's chantal who follows from a distant them out of an odd gut feeling, and litan avoids him like the plague which he doesn't get why but he has a suspicion about why so that's why he keeps following them, and like launcelot who made a contract with chantal about something that I don't wanna say just yet so like they basically own his soul but she just likes following him around and annoying him like a sibling would, and also there's loretta and spotty who are distant friends to the main silly guys so they're there sometimes... also the whole world is really surreal and freakish now and nothing really follows basic fundamental laws of the universe anymore because it's kinda breaking down, so kinda like a labyrinth from madoka magica but the whole world, also most eat eachother because they're all sweet tooths and have no sense of right or wrong also there's no technology because zivix is a bitch and somehow broke it worldwide while trying broadcast his hyperfixations cause why not it's pretty obvious idk how to write but idc I'll make my shitty story if ppl like it or not

#oc #original character #Bakery Abominations #idk #im too lazy to make this ramble read well rn

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daydadahlias · 2 years

Note

this will be long so prepare cause i can't actually choose one favorite of yours.

Scene 14 -> they're idiots and i love them (i'll have to reread this one soon) and horsemint and lemonade

Fine print -> this is the one i've reread the most out of your works. i love glimpses of cake and their past relationship and how it affects present day luke and how in the end luke calls calum (out of respect i guess) to basically ask for his permission to date ash.

Coy Fish -> probably my favorite cashton fic (calum is all of us in this one :D), i also liked how you wrote muke here (their dynamics, and michael calling luke bambi)

Paint me -> i absolutely love the scene where they're all seeing ash for the first time in the painting class and the last scene where malum finds lashton in bed in the end

New -> great story and very hot, but what makes this one hilarious and stand out to me are your notes (aka hey guys, it's me pornbot jess)

and of course, the sexting ot4 fics simply because they're both so hilarious and i do hope you continue them

Bite Marks -> i know this one isn't finished yet, but i get very excited when you update so i hope you won't leave it unfinished (i am subscribed to your ao3 so i'll read it even if you finish it in 3 years)

i have a fave pairing when i'm reading fics (and it's obvious based on this list) but damn you have so many fics and i will read all of them asap.

Thank you for writing and sharing your stories with us :)

omg i love long asks

they're so impossibly stupid, how could you not love them?

i love that you brought up cake in FP! when writing, I considered it being an act of respect, yeah! because it's, like, here's someone you've built your entire life around and also, in a lot of ways, torn your life apart for and even though you're not with them anymore, there's still that inherent need to feel like you're doing right by them. and i dont necessarily think that Luke was asking permission bc if Cal had said "no, im not ok with that" (which he kind of was implying) i dont think that would have stopped luke from pursuing ashton. I think it just would have made it harder for him. i think he just wanted Cal to know. bc he felt like he owed it to him. i have lots of thoughts on Fine Print cake obviously lol.

a little projection from me to Cal in that one, I won't lie. ALSO i love that you brought up side muke!! and it's especially cute bc im writing a really long cashton fic rn with (very prevalent) side muke where michael calls luke bambi lol. i just think it's so cute!!

oo Paint Me was funnnn to write. she'll always have a special place in my heart <3 I dont love all my old stuff but PM definitely holds up.

WHAT !! AN OUTLIER !! a SURPRISE! this was a delightful little surprise. it's so funny, I was just thinking about New the other day for the first time in, like, two years. bc i like the premise of it but i Don't like the fic and i was considering rewriting it. also obsessed with the fact that u mentioned my author note. you read an author note and thought ugh Jess is just so funny and personable and you were right <3

I plan on continuing them! I'm just trying to pick a Setting for the next installment. maybe while they're in the studio, an interview, or the tour bus

I love BM and I really do plan on finishing it. I hate that I posted it before I was properly ready and I do not plan on ever doing that with a fic again. but i will finish it!! even if that, yeah... takes 3 years.

thank you so much for reading and all of your kind words! I loved reading this <3

#pigeon #anon #so nice!#so many more thoughts but im trying not to ramble #this is all very nice and so well organized <3 #y'know i do forget people actually read the A/Ns #like i know my friends do #but it's funny to think of people who dont know me reading my author notes and THATS how they know me #like what kind of person is that painting a portrait of #very funny to think abt

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colorguardsweetheartblurrsgirl · 2 years

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Totally did something I was not expecting.

Work on story: No

Work On Art: No

Had all the resources infront of me ready to get a few ar Peices done. 😏🥴😖😓😒😒😒 YES!!!

What did I do instead you may ask???

Open the Sheet music app and began retooling my song front two years ago that was originally the main theme for the first act. Or at least the first half of the first act. I took advice from friends and family that it just needed a little something more at the start and end. There was a good oomph as start made me think battle scene... but it needed something. I finally thought of the sound I wanted.

Found the Drum Rills I wanted (Though it took hours to find the exact one I litterlaly typed the exact words in the name and toik hours to find some reason and countless searches).

Found a bell sound I was totally like Yeha that could eb a fun opening..

Theb thought, eh I made the document. Might as well plop the opening down.

I have problem currently staying up all night zi guess.😓🤣😂😅😅😅

Yep, spent all night working on the song. I ahve to admit the guitar part so uh nds coll. The opening including open ik gn chorus. Sounds awesome. Maybe a few tweeks here and there. I restyled and also redid the notations and the octaves of tlntoss as well as their notation time signatures to fit with the new speed and design I'm going foe with the comic. And funny enough didnt even get the main theme in there this was all the themes that combine with it

Later parts are a but messy. But blhoenstly first minute sounds pretty cool, totally plants an image. So I hope it works out. Just have to retools thjnklgs Inliked about the old open in ng a but more before ri works. But after alls said and done what leads into the opening a piano followed by a guitar pick iij ng up thebebat a bit. Can say it sounds far better then the old music.

All the same cnat believe how much time I spent on it. But I got started on the new angle I'm going for. And it kinda gives a real atmosphere to it. Hopefully you guys will like it I've studied both college level and under music practically my whole life but I'll say 25 years practically since I was 5. So writtinflg music is soemthing I often do. I just havent really performed my lyrical stuff. I even have a lyrical song or a few I came up with for the comic. Although, I'm not sure they will fit with the comics main theme.

I will say thebprologues theme has been ready and done for 2 years now. And yeah I'm not changing that puppy. Its... well saying anything will give away a plot point. I'll just say it will get you're heart pumping... in a scary kinda way. Showed it to friends and family and they are like "Okay that was freaking creepy. That, you wrote that miss ray of sunshines?" I just knew what I wanted for teh prologue had a certain tone I wanted setting in. And it worked.

Well heres today's update for you. I'll probably post some pic later today. But till then take care. I'll see if I could post a snippet of the song later tod sass y or in the next few days. Probably will have to use one of my actual music programs to do that without saving and unfinished product.

... but till whatever update comes next.

Take care and have a blast.

(Ps. I knwo how to play the harp and paino. However, I dont own a harp anymore where I used to rent closed its doors long ago. And my piano is a keyboard I've had since 7 whose cord keeps absconding from me, so if your wondering I can play instruments I jsut have difficulty keeping track of them thus I use programs instead) I recently fo uh nd recordings I made at my families property two years ago on the old family piano, just me silently at night alone plucking out cords and slowly creating a song, and occassionally messing up... it was when I was first figuring out Lenna's theme. At the time trying to keep it more towards H.S. in theme and sound. This has since changed and I'm leaning more towards the other inspiration that shaped most of the characters since the start. So the sound has since changed. It used to have a country western sound to it.

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hearthandheathenry · 6 months

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everyone supposedly has an fs and soulmate yada yada yada but if we havent met ours and if we dont care to really date anyone would it matter if we passed away early, like would our fs or soulmate feel it? do we have to have our lives put together in order to form the connection with our fs?

so many ppl including relatives and cousins either have their lives put together or theyre certainly doing something right and they have all either got their partners or careers and im just like how is that not happening for me then i question if i even want that and then i think well it doesnt matter cause i will die eventually so whats the point?

honestly im not fussed abt existing these days, like im not anyone special i dont have a need to achieve things anymore, used too but then i said fuck it and gave up on trying to exist and succeed. its always something like im either at the wrong place or wrong timing or some other situation in the past that held me back from going for something, or i just lacked what i needed to succeed or im too old not young enough not pretty not rich enough its always that im seemingly not something enough and if life is always abt trying to be a people pleaser instead of pleasing ourselves then im done lol. i will gladly yeet myself out of society and into heaven if i have too as thats probably the only point where id be truly happy as i wouldnt have to do anything ever again and i would never have to feel regret or shame for not having my life put together at this age.

sorry for ranting but im just so over being a person, it has severly sucked. wouldnt recommend instead be a rock in ur next life if there even is a next life, if theres a next life then i would also be done with that full stop too. and the thing about soulmates or even trying to get a partner is its yet another thing that you have to be almost attached to them 24/7 like friends where people can and will dissapoint you over and over and a lot of people will pretend to like you then only want something from you for their benefit so again whats the point when wanting a partner or even a social group? but if we donr have that we are never going to be on anyones radar anyway? might as well not bother with any of it tbqfh.

again sorry for ranting but either i want to not feel like i lack so much even in skills or talents and most times i just want to be a nobody oh wait thats what i already am haha.

Woah! First and foremost, I want to tell you that life is worth living and your life matters. Truly. For no other grand reason but that you are YOU and your purpose is being here, or you wouldn't exist. The universe has a reason for you to be here, or multiple reasons, and you matter, even if you struggle to find that reason(s). And please, let me know if you need help finding resources for mental health.

Second, I think a lot of people feel all these things, and I definitely have felt this way in the past. Maybe sometime I'll write my life story and how things have changed over the years or something, idk. BUT, you are not alone, and there is help out there and ways to make your life better, no matter your situation. Your life could be complete crap and you would still be able to turn it around. I am a firm believer in this.

The caveat, though? Its your choice, and your hard work that makes your life what you make it. We are all given different circumstances but just because we are born in some mud doesn't mean we have to wallow in it. The happiest and most fulfilled people have made the active choice to pull themselves out of their depression and habits and have changed themselves and their lives through emotional and physical labor. Life is not easy. It never claimed to be. THAT SAID, though, life is easier the more aligned you get with the universe and everything around you, and is truly breathtaking, and that comes with healing and changing. You learn psychology (how to take control of your mind), the ways of the world (how to build a support system and community), the metaphysical ways of the world and things we can't explain (some people call this spirituality or religion), and a past time that you genuinely enjoy (some people call this a purpose or sometimes its just a way to make money/survive), and you end up creating a life for yourself that you enjoy. That is the secret to living a happy life. Not higher education, not certain jobs, but honing in those skills will unlock the (seemingly) secret of being happy and will help lead to everything falling in place. A support system is usually the first step because figuring ourselves out is hard and we will need support, then we start mastering our minds and thoughts, and then we usually move onto spirituality to help us answer things our logical mind can't explain, and then we usually find our purposes or things that make life worth living. Things that truly make us glad to be alive.

We all reach a breaking point in our lives (anyone heard of the famous midlife crisis?) and are then given a choice of what we want to do. Usually there's truly no way but up, because the other option is to simply give up and not live. And we, intrinsically, really do want to LIVE. Maybe just not the life we were living. So we get help. Professional help. We reach out to our loved ones and figure out who we can actually rely on when we're at our worst. We build our support network while we work on our minds with the professionals. We start our journey of mastering our minds and working in conjunction with our bodies again instead of giving up. We work on our anxiety, depression, mental issues, and stop overworking ourselves and ignoring our body's signals for rest or change. And then we're left with other questions and needs, so we start delving into spirituality and religion. We start looking at the world around us and society in a different light, because obviously the way society trained us isn't working. The system doesn't work. It wasnt made for spiritual beings, it was made for work drones. And humans are not work drones. Some people find solace in certain religions. Some people just adopt different spiritual practices. We all answer our questions in different ways. We're all living in our own realities and through the lens of our own minds that are wired differently. And then our community and support networks grow. And our minds grow. And our abilities grow. And we start to see these little glimmers of hope of why we like being alive. We look at things in a new light. And then maybe we finally see our purpose, the one outside of just being (which is our main purpose), and, big hint, it usually has something to do with helping others for a lot of people. It is almost never a specific job or title or actual act of doing something. Its an idea. A construct. Maybe we were made to help teach others. Maybe we were made to bring joy to others. Maybe we were made to create with others. Maybe its all these and more. It usually has something to do with connecting with others, which is where we all find the most happiness. Being seen and heard. Helping others be seen and heard. Making a difference, finding meaning. Our hearts and our minds know the plan long before we realize it.

We all have the power to get here. But its a choice. And its a tough one. But its one every single one of us is capable of making. We start by choosing ourselves. By choosing to love ourselves. By radical self love and compassion. And once we choose ourselves, then we can start connecting with others in a more meaningful way, instead of people-pleasing or living for others wants or wishes. We need to be authentically ourselves first. It all starts with you. The real you deep down.

So, I do not have the answers to the questions you ask. The philosophical questions you brought forth is different for everyone, because everyone believes something different. What I say doesn't matter if it does not resonate with your truth and your reality. And no one truly knows these things or has the answers until we have left this world, and the fun part about life is experimenting and trying to figure out the questions while we're here.

What I will say, is finding the answers is easier when you don't skip steps. You seem to have a lot you need to ask yourself before asking others, and finding what matters most to you and figuring out why you have the questions you do and what that means mentally and emotionally. I sense a lot of anxiety and depression and anger and grief and self confidence issues, which will get in the way of a lot of things you are talking about achieving or have questions about if they are not processed and addressed. These are all normal things to deal with, but still things that need to be dealt with.

I could rattle off my own personal opinions about everything you ask, but again, it will not resonate with you if its not for you, and the mental blocks will still be there even after.

Having answers to things does nothing for us if we do not know how to use the information given to us.

Work on yourself and learn how to use information to make changes, and you will start to understand more about the world and things in it, even unseen.

The information I've given above tends to ring true for everyone I've encountered in life thus far, no matter age/gender/race/etc. People just figure it out at different ages and stages in their lives. But even religions tend to agree on these necessary steps taken to reach a higher place in our lives. I hope that it's helpful enough to start you on your journey towards everything you want, and lead you to a life that makes sense for you and one that you find happiness in.

(Adding this post to my pinned list under "How To Find Happiness" for anyone else who may need to hear this information)

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kath-artic · 11 months

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moar

since im on the topic i wanna play around in this space a little more

growing up i was a very private person. sure, my best friends knew about problems at home and my struggles with mental health, but i never talked to them about the things i cared about or the people i liked. love was such a valuable thing that to talk about it frivolously seemed sinful and just downright disrespectful to the concept. it had to be protected. this is unfortunately why i stayed in my first relationship for so long. i foolishly thought that i was somehow about infatuation and frivolous love. i thought id know it when i found it and that id never let it go, so i couldnt just admit id made a mistake. regardless, friendships to me were always about being too in the moment to care about anything else. friendship was about silent understanding and play. most of my high school friends were like this. we never talked about our lives outside of school save for one or two times, but we all knew we were all going through something so we'd all keep each other busy all night. we wouldnt leave the school until the janitors kicked us out and then we'd wander the town. every now and then someone would break down and cry and we'd sit there and hold each other, but talking about it hardly seemed necessary at that time. it wasnt until the dam broke for me at the end of my senior year that i started really opening up about stuff. that was my brief Therapy phase. i became obsessed with talking about the trauma id gone through and didnt know how to be someone outside of it for a while, but that was a horrible person to be for me. i feel bad for her and it was important that i was her for a time, but im glad im not anymore. she taught me how to be open, but every time i opened up i exploded and it never felt all that fulfilling. in fact, i found that me "trauma dumping" was just me trying to answer everyones questions before they started prying so theyd think i had nothing to hide. i was afraid of people knowing me at that time. what's more, the concept of meeting new people was exhausting at that time because to know me at that time was to know what id been through and it was hard having to go through it again and again.

leaving fixed me. ive said it before but it remains true. ive realized i love a blank slate and ive realized that knowing me is an innate quality some people do or dont possess in varying degrees. ive realized my story is mine and that i generally like being private because i really only like sharing when i think i'll be understood or when i think it's necessary to expose people to new possibilities. i like knowing lots of people, i like knowing them deeply and intimately, but not necessarily constantly. i dont want people to run dry by dumping all their is to know at my feet at once, which is why i think space is so necessary for me. old friends reaching out is such a joy because theyre a new person at this point! new friends are such a joy because they tend to feel as though theyre old friends! i just like for my circle to be full of as many people who are distinctly themselves as possible and i like to learn something. i know sometimes i have to be the teacher, but i vastly prefer equal exchanges. there are few people i never grow tired of, but they tend to also be the ones who think similarly and likewise go off on their own from time to time. we maintain a healthy distance even though we could just as easily talk forever and ever and never grow bored. i think thats the kind of relationship i can have only one of at a time and its something i reserve for romatic partners. a romantic partner is someone who is eternally interesting. someone i can be close to and still find more new things about. i still like to have space, but the closeness wouldnt make me squirm. we could talk forvever and ever and maybe we just will. idk. but there it is

#personal rant

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yuridovewing · 1 year

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silverleaf's story was meant to have an exiled or mistreated clan cat in each clan with a pov that would go on to make their own clans, but i didnt really care about the windclan one at all and the shadowclan one just feels Off to me now, so i think aside from the different ending, I'll just cut it down to two characters. silverleaf from thunderclan and lightheart from riverclan.

lightheart originally didn't have much in the way of personality, the entire basis for her was that she was exiled for being the daughter of the riverclan and shadowclan medics... can't remember if she had anything else going on lmao. but i'm thinking now that if silverleaf is reminiscent of ravenpaw... perhaps lightheart is reminiscent of hollyleaf and leafpool? moreso hollyleaf.

basically, lightheart is a star pupil. she was handpicked by the medic (her secret dad) to be his apprentice because of her "natural connection to starclan" (he actually just wanted to mentor his daughter). she's heavily devoted to starclan and the code, always putting the laws before her very being. she made a point of enforcing the code on others, and pushing starclan's will. she sees anyone who breaks the code as a heathen. she was seen as a prodigy with herbs, even finding new remedies that the clans would use for generations afterwards. everyone admired her and queens pointed at her as a role model to their kits- "lightheart always puts starclan first, as should you!"

but then, lightheart's heritage comes out. likely from a shadowclan cat or so. and the entire clan drops her like a hot potato. suddenly, her existence is a violation of several laws, so scandalous that the clan fears starclan's wrath. everyone doubts her visions now, and while she can still talk with starclan, who knew the whole time naturally, all of the respect is gone. eventually, they have her train up a new apprentice, and once they're done, she gets the boot.

and at first im thinking she's going to be an antagonist towards silverleaf and other exiled cats. she's furious at what happened to her and feels like she has to repent for her own existence to be taken back into her clan, so she takes it upon herself to make sure these "codebreakers" repent forever. maybe she commits a bit of medical malpractice to them or old clanmates idk. but she'd go through an arc where she realizes that her anger is aimed at the wrong people and just how fucked up the code is, to restrict who can have children and to allow halfclan cats to be treated poorly, to demand pure unquestionable loyalty to the leaders, etc. and she actually gets befriended by silverleaf and kind of lets go of riverclan entirely, deciding to finally put herself first and stop punishing herself.

design wise I had her as a white cat with black tabby stripes. i dont think im as fond of that anymore, so to give her some color as opposed to silverleaf's gray, i may make her a calico instead.

#ocs #also all of this is up in the air its totally subject to change. especially the antagonist bit #but basically she has leafpool's bit of ''was so devoted and got thrown away and treated poorly for it''#and hollyleaf having a mental breakdown over her heritage #and i think those things combined make for an explosive character

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everything-i-couldnt-tell-u · 2 years

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the thing i said on the playlist i made for you "you really feel like a nice dream i woke up to on a summer day" , i think that's the greatest thing i could honestly say to express my appreciation for you. actually explaining it in full detail just to feel satisfaction in being able to tell you exactly how i felt when i was with wouldn't be enough but i'll try. so i don't really know how to describe it, but waking up to this one specific kind of dreams on a summer afternoon, leaving me with this very fascinating feeling all the time as i look on the ceiling, taking a while to process the dream somehow and really take my time (sometimes even cry over it because of how beautiful the feeling is) but i dont know exactly what this is.

i just love the way it leaves me with a nostalgic bittersweet feeling, similar to "meeting someone you feel like you knew your whole life while having a beach vacation, but you never met them again anymore and they just remain as a memory you always love coming back to" type of vibes. it's so fucking amazing because i would love to see more of the dream and feel more of it, but you know it's like im already satisfied with everything and it didn't really leave me empty. yes waking up to the dream left me with this heavy feeling on my whole chest and body, but my heart feels so excited at the same time. and those dreams are always so comforting honestly.

most of the dreams i wake up to the same feeling are ALWAYS the same story. i get lost in some really dark place, but then i meet this really great boy who i became really great friends with for a while and it was so fucking great all the time. but then after a while you know, i gotta wake up and then i part with that boy from my dreams. it's really sad because i wanna be with them for a bit longer atleast, but im happy at the same time that i got to feel what it's like to be with someone like them.

i cannot explain really and i cant wrap my mind around this idea either that you might really have been the boy from my dreams (sorry if i sound obsessed over it, but i really have this very very deep longing for that boy from my dreams and the way you felt so fucking familiar to me is like you've been that boy all along and im happy about this stupid theory of mine)

so back on explaining a bit more, so like my dreams are like metaphor to me with my friendship with you and it's so weird. so first the very very familiar and nostalgic feeling you gave me whenever i talked to you, it's so oddly similar to the feeling that boy from my dreams gave me. and then the heavy bittersweet feeling i get whenever i wake up from my dreams about him, it's the same damn feeling i got when i cut ties with you for the third time.

okay so like from my dream its - i need to wake up and get back to living in my real life so goodbye now boy from my dreams. and with you it felt so similar, as if it's a metaphor of those dreams ending - so i got an emotional outburst and episode as if it's waking me up to confront my personal unresolved problems that's why i need to leave you for now, and let's just meet again when time lets it happen. the exact same with my dreams. i feel kinda sad but also happy, but i have already accepted that i need to say goodbye to him and just wait til i manage to dream of him again and feel his company once more.

okay so enough of maybe being the boy from my dreams, the feelings you really gave me feel so fucking amazing and it always leaves me wanting to find the words and scenarios to somehow describe how it feels because of how nice it genuinely is. and anyways im really sorry about me randomly ending things again, i don't think explaining it would fix anything and honestly i feel kinda nice being alone here right now because my social battery is really dead. i just think i really need time alone with my thoughts and sorting my feelings out because im the type of person who takes alot of time processing and learning stuff (idfk why this brain of mine works like that) but it feels nice taking things slow here at my own pace.

cutting ties with you for now really left me with the same feeling as waking up from those dreams during a summer afternoon and i can't explain it any better (this is a /pos) it didnt really leave me empty, it left me with this bittersweet feelings that i really adore and this slight longing for you, but i need to go now. i'll come back, i don't really know when, but im sure it will happen. i like overanalyzing and overappreciating these kind of feelings and memories i get left with whenever i lose someone, and honestly im enjoying it. NOT ENJOYING THAT I FUCKED UP THE FRIENDSHIP THO IM JUST SAYING THAT ITS REALLY VERY NICE when i take my time appreciating them a bit more and being alone with those thoughts.

so enough ranting, i love you so much and thank you for leaving me all those feelings. they really mean a lot to me and i think about those constantly. no one has ever made me feel the same level of closeness and familiarity like you did. your company was so different from my previous best friend and it still fascinates me. my previous best friend made me experience company that felt like cozy rainy nights and getting lost enjoying really fun stuff, and this time with you i got to experience the familiar warmth of summer and the bittersweet feeling i get when it ends. (stfu if i sound cringe rn dont laugh at me im writing this at 12 am and i always end up saying the cringiest shit at this hour) wait actually maybe on summer (idk if ill either get better or things might even get a thousand times worse because i can feel it coming and i have to start facing my issues and heal even if the thought of it really makes me tremble and feel like throwing up. i dont know when i'll heal lmfao and im scared of going through the process) so maybe let's be friends again on another summer once i finally get capable of getting a grip on my feelings and controlling what i do whenever i get emotional outbursts. love you and thanks for really being a great listener and a friend <3 bye bye ill crawl into my safe space again so see you when i get better AND ALSO PLS DONT KYS TIL I GET TO MEET YOU AGAIN okay bye

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stvrs13 · 3 years

Text

My Happy Ending (pt2) ~ Ellie x fem!reader

note. sorry i cant use gif rn because of my stupid wifi. i'll change it soon if i have good connection :) enjoy!

click here to read pt 1 !

[ summary ]

Patrol is a disaster but to make it worst, you went out with the 2 people you hate at the moment. Ellie and Dina. (lmao i suck at summary)

warnings: angst,swearing, kinda sexual themes

"There you are!" Maria cheerfully walk towards you. You could feel your heart beating faster as you walk closer to the stables, you know this would be a disaster. She met you halfway of your walk and discuss about patrol while you were practically dying inside.

"Their waiting for you at the gate, I will talk to you later. Stay safe y/n!" said Maria who is turning away from you. You were about to say something when a hand touch your shoulder gently. Turning around, you see the one and only Ellie Williams.

"what" You spoke furiously, Not having the mood to talk to her. She sighed quietly before replying, "you ready?". Nodding, she point at your horse waiting outside with Dina standing beside Ellie's horse. You walk towards them, not saying a single word to Ellie.

Ellie follows beside you and sneakily place her arms around your waist. "what are you doing?" you pulled away from her touch, a little uncomfortable. "cant i touch my girl?" Ellie smirks. You scoff, walking further away from her until you reach the gate. "hey" Dina grins and hands you Rafe's (OC horse huh sorry obx fans 💀😂) rein.

You grab it swiftly, looking at her with a blank face. not in the mood to talk with her too. You have every right to be angry, and have every right to treat them unsatisfactorily because they made a mistake espicially Ellie.

You pat Rafe's head lightly while listening to the man giving instructions when you see Ellie walking towards your side. You ignore it somehow, thinking that maybe she was just gonna walk past you but you were wrong.

She stop beside you and tug you closer to her, making your body turn and press against her. "Ellie! what the fuck?!" you whisper-yell, pushing her away. She chuckles and pulled you by your waist, leaning in for a kiss. You immediately push her away. A little too hard though as she stumble backwards and hits Shimmer's side, making the horse whine.

Some of the adults look towards your way and some teens laughing. Dina just sighs and mounts Shimmer. Ellie stands there, looking at you angrily. You dont care though. Maybe.

The man finish his discussions and told the patrols to head out, all of you following his orders. Ellie gave you one last glance while she whistles for the horse to trot and went off like a rocket. You groan in annoyance and followed her.

»»

It's been an hour or two since you were in this trail and its killing you. Ellie giving you the glances and the awkward silence. Dina somehow getting tired of it, started a conversation. "it's peaceful out here" smiling as she look around the trees. Ellie nods and glances at you for the millionth time. "I think its just a bit further till we arrive at the lookout." Dina point towards north.

Still silence....

"look, y/n we're sorry! We shouldn't have done that, we just-" Dina frowns. "This is bullshit. We're not talking about this now." You interupt her, giving them a glare.

Ellie mumbles something but you couldn't hear it due to the wind. Dina just nod at what Ellie's statement is and stayed quiet.

It's been 10 min since that happened and you were currently tying Rafe's rein to a fence when Ellie unknowingly slap your ass. You gasped and turn towards her, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" you yelled, seeing her smirking and letting out a chuckle.

"c'mon I know you love it." Ellie replied. crossing her arms, leaning her side to the wall. You scoff and rolled your eyes, "I dont have time for this." walking away for no more further actions from her.

"okay so.. the lookout is right over there but Maria told us to check this shop for supplies before we head to the lookout." Dina sighs, stroking Shimmer's hair. You nod and open the door. Not caring if there are infected inside.

Unbeknownst, a clicker was infront of you and when it heard the door creak open, it immediately push you to the ground. "FUCK!" you growled as you struggle against the clicker. You tried reaching for your switchblade, which Ellie gave before but failed as it was thrown away from the side due to the clicker moving its hands around.

Ellie ran towards you and immediately kick the clicker's head leading to a gunshot being heard as you were laying there closing your eyes. "fuck, are you good?" Ellie kneels and checks your figure. You open your eyes and mumbled a "yes" before getting up hastily. "hey, slow down" Dina gently held your arm. You immediately shove your arm away when you felt a pain on your elbow.

"shit. you have wounds" Ellie mutters, immediately gripping your wrist and leading you towards your horse. "im fine"

Ellie doesn't listen though as she unties your horse rein and demands for you to ride the horse. You obey otherwise, getting angry as to Ellie pretending that she cares.

Dina did the same too, riding Shimmer while Ellie holding the rein for your horse to walk slowly. "Ellie, I said im fine. We should check-"

"Stop with the bullshit, y/n. Your hurt." Ellie spoke furiously, giving you a serious glance.

Dina stopped Shimmer as the three of you arrived at the lookout. Ellie tied Rafe's rein to a post and immediately held her hand out for you to hold as you dismount the horse. You didn't accept it as you jump away from the horse.

Dina open the wooden door and waits for the two of you to come in, "Im gonna sign our names, Y/n clean up." Closing the door, Ellie immediately pulled you into the closest room and lock the door. Leaving Dina outside the room.

"Damn it y/n, why are you being reckless? that was so stupid." she mumbles, throwing her bag to the table and opening it to find some bandages. You rolled your eyes.

"sit" Ellie demands, glancing at the chair then back at you. Sighing, you lazily walk towards it and sat on it. "arms up"

"oh my gosh, Ellie im fine" you look at her, only to see her giving you the "serious demand type" look. (ngl stubborn ellie is adorbz) "you know what-" stands, "stop pretending that you care"

"I do-" Ellie whispered, "then why the fuck did you do it?!" you semi-yell at her, raising your hands slightly at your side. "the what-"

"stop being stupid Ellie! you know what I mean" You got up your sit and tried walking past her but she grip your wrist, making you look at her.

Ellie pushed you to the wall, putting her hand beside your head while the other places on your waist, "you know- your hot when your all like this. pretending to be mad at what i've done, you think I didn't caught on to that, babe?"

She pulled you closer to which both of your bodies pressed against each other and she immediately lean in, which shocked you. You push her away not long after, "Are you stupid?! Ellie. You cheated on me!! and now you act like it didn't just happened?!" yelling at her.

Ellie smirks and harshly grab your ass, pulling you closer again. "Damn it, Ellie! Let go!!" you cried out. Ellie didn't obey as she kept sucking your neck and squeezing your ass.

Pushing her harder this time, she stands back giving you an angry look. "dont make me go rough on you, y/n" she smirks, unbuttoning her jeans. You push her again, this time a little more harsh as she hit the side of the table.

Sighing, "okay" she mumbled. "Me and Dina were just having fun-" "yeah well no shit." you spoked, all the anger bottling up inside you. "and im sorry-"

" 'sorry' isn't gonna fix our relationship, Ellie! You cheated on me!!" you could feel tears streaming down your cheeks as you yelled at Ellie. "and then you acted like it didn't happen and being all around me at public?! your not being yourself Ellie!!"

sighing, "just tell me...tell me that you dont love me anymore.. please.. I dont wanna just go on with our relationship thinking that you love me but you truly not.. this is just a waste of our time." you look her in the eyes, seeing nothing but an angry ones. shocked that she wipe her tears away, "fine, we're done. your nothing but a useless bitch." the last part that Ellie said went straight to your heart, making you feel broken and fragile even more. She look at you one last time before leaving the room, slamming the door shut.

DAMN so i've tried to my best to write it really well and sorry if my grammar or spelling is bad lmao, english is not my first language so yeah. also this is kinda short bruhhh hope you like this story and dont worry im gonna make a pt 3 💭 love ya friends! ~ Jazmine ( name reveal :) )

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams imagine

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popcorn1989 · 3 years

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hii i wanted to ask if i could request a fic with reader and cahir.

the idea is like cahir and reader are camping in the woods and reader gets kind of hurt but they dont tell him that because they fear he will let them alone because they are a burden but when they come to a stream and reader doesnt want to go into it because of the blood he gets suspicious and he finds out in that night and patches the reader up? the whole fic maybe a lot of fluff?

hope you had a great day :D

Oh, that sounds fun and yes I have several ideas. I just hope I don't get too long with the story, I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

But first I wanted to say thank you, you really are my first fanfic request, and I'm so happy about it, my heart is pounding.

Thanks, I had a nice day and I hope you have a nice evening and I can sweeten your evening with this little fanfic.

So let's get started, here's your little story, hope you like it!

Pairing: Cahir x Reader

Warning: Blood, but a little Funny

Words: 1198

Cahir and you were sitting around a small campfire, you both actually wanted to go hunting and you volunteered. When asked if you were a hunter, you said yes, even if that wasn't really true. But you were so amazed that Cahir asked, you just couldn't help it. Yes, as luck would have it, you didn't kill the wild boar, but rather drew its attention to you. It was so big that you both had to run away. Only when you were sure that the pig had lost its desire to tease you did you want to go back to the camp. But, you both got so lost, the panic that now you didn't know exactly where you were anymore. And in the darkness of the night, you couldn't pinpoint your exact location. "Say honestly, you're not a hunter, are you?" he asked now, staring into the flames. You knew you had to be honest now.

"Eh - no," you said, sniffing the cold air through your nose. Cahir just nodded. "I'd love to just leave you here," he said after a while. You were all so uncomfortable that you noticed how you had to pee. You stood up and Cahir looked at you questioningly, "What are you up to?" "I have to go pee" "oh" Cahir said and looked around. You didn't know what he was looking for, but your bubble burst right away "Okay, don't go too far, above all don't hurt yourself and for God's sake, don't break your neck" he said and briefly raised a hand when he saw your question face, what should happen to that, you thought and went into the dark forest. You wanted to relieve yourself behind a tree, but Cahir was still too close, and you felt uncomfortable when he heard the water splashing. So you decide to go even further into the forest. You walked through the darkness and saw next to nothing, neither did the root sticking out of the ground.

Of course, you stumble and fall to the ground, you just managed to suppress a cry. You sat down on your knees and held your stomach, a stick sticking out of your stomach, and you moaned, this day is and remains cursed. You decided to pull the small branch out of your stomach, but you immediately felt the blood spurting out. Oh no, that's exactly what you should avoid, right? You groaned at your own stupidity and buttoned up your jacket. It won't be noticed. The pain hanging was now your constant companion. You weren't allowed to show anything in front of Cahir, the suggestion that he would like to leave you behind frightened you. And now that you could barely move without pain, you were so useless.

When you had relieved yourself, you went back. You saw the glow of the fire, but you were very slow because you didn't want to fall again. Just before you step out of the clearing, you examine your jacket, there was no blood on it. Good. Cahir looked up, and his face was like a stone "What the hell were you looking for that boar again to offer him your friendship" he asked and stood up "No I eh - I" "It's alright, time to sleep, tomorrow we'll see where we are and then let's go to camp," he said and lay down on his sleeping place made of fir branches.

You breathed a sigh of relief and tried to lay down on your bed without screaming in pain, you turned your back to Cahir to open your jacket because you didn't want your jacket to become soaked with blood overnight. You didn't get any sleep that night, and you were glad when it slowly got lighter. Not only that, but you got up before Cahir and discovered a small lake nearby.

Actually, you really wanted to go to the lake to wash your wound and see what the stick had done. You find yourself closing your jacket and watching Cahir slowly come to. "Good morning" you said and he looked at you, "you know actually it would be a better morning if we didn't have to sleep in this cold" he got up and looked around. "The lake looks familiar, come on," he said, and started walking without even waiting for you.

You didn't know how long you'd been running, and Cahir couldn't help but tell you what a good-for-nothing you are. He joked that your mother must have been glad you were out of her house, so you couldn't destroy everything. At some point, you stopped listening to him. You were in pain and terribly hungry.

Evening is falling when Cahir suddenly stopped. "There's a river, let's have a drink and freshen up, it looks like we're a lot further from camp than we thought." "Does that mean we have to stay out another night?" He looked at you with his blue eyes and left goosebumps on your body. Of course, it was, how could you ask?

Arriving at the creek you give away your arms in front of your chest, let him do it.. you thought. You just didn't want him to see because even though he knew where you were, you didn't and you didn't want to be left alone in the woods. He squatted down and took a sip of water and washed his face. He was about to undress when he noticed you were standing there like a log, looking around at world history. "Come on now," he said, stepping towards you. He grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to the water, unfortunately you lost your footing, underfoot and fell in the water. Your clothes immediately, greedily drew up the water, and your blood flowed down the stream. Nice shit.

"What the hell is that?" he asked, getting into the water "Blood, are you wounded?" he turned close and examined your clothes, which were now soaked with water and blood. He only sniffled briefly. "Come out, we need a campfire, you're lucky that I always have a needle and thread with me, every warrior has that" Yes, of course, you thought and came out of the water, the shame was written all over your face.

When it was dark, you lay on the ground by the fire and Cahir sat next to you, just about to clean your wound. "Do I want to know how that happened?" he asked, and you just shake your head, of course not, it would be too nice if Cahir would make fun of it too. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked and roughly wiped the wound, which started bleeding again, and again. "Because otherwise you would have left me behind," you said as quietly as possible, but loud enough for Cahir to hear. "What do you think I am? A monster?" he smiled slightly and started suturing your wound. Yes shit, this evening you were allowed to listen to even more, namely that you were too stupid to go pee. And worst of all, he said he had to tell the others because it was just too funny, you just wanted to sink into the ground.

End.

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