#i dont really know how poetry works
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karedaki-memento-mori · 10 months ago
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i told nature about you
i talked to her about you every single day
she is very special to me
i told her about how your laugh makes me smile
about how for you my feelings i would compile
about how i would change my style
i told her to walk you to me down the aisle
but your feelings were mild
cause you live away more than a mile
you liked me for a little while
i find things that remind me of you
i romanticised everything because of you
maybe that was too soon
cause now i hear a tune
it's from this cartoon
i used to watch every june
my dear racoon
should i go to the saloon
the sky is full of you, red moon
i told nature about how feelings change
they can change in a big range
and you feel a bit strange
but it's common for actions to be misarranged
the sun saw me crying for you
the dirt tried to be gentle for a minute or two
i heared someone playing the kazoo
i saw a flower, it grew
the sky wasn't that blue
the air picked up something and it flew
nature never puts me on the queue
i just wish that i knew
she listened to me trying to hate you
but I don't want to fight you
all i ever did was be beside you
i hoped that id find you
i miss ignorance
now this is my deliverance
i sat with nature all noon
new phase of the moon
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northern-passage · 2 years ago
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i wrote a 500 word dynamic poem for neo-twiny jam :-)
i rewrote this in a few different ways with a handful of different drafts before settling on just doing a poem; this originally came from a full branching narrative i've had stewing for a while, and i might come back to it one day. but for now i enjoyed channeling that into this poem, which has also been very influenced by the fact that i've been writing hungry vampires for almost 2 months now.... it was also my first time messing with audio in twine, which ended up being way easier than i expected (i'm sure it helped that i only used one audio sample tho)
faith does contain sexual content, and while not super explicit, it is the main theme of the poem.
anyways hope you enjoy and check out the other entries here!
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tealfruit · 1 year ago
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it's really a shame I have to sell 40+ of my life hours every week for poverty wages instead of spending all my time and energy on dozens of creative and technical pursuits with unlimited resources
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autism-corner · 2 years ago
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Sleeping with Levi is better than expected. The cold ceramic of his tub is dulled with blankets and pillows, and being together makes the comfort outweigh the frigid. The soft rumble of his aquarium and the soothing whispers of affection leaves both of you at ease. Entangled with eachothers warmth, the world has turned to just you two. Everything that matters is laying here, in your embrace. Once the words of love have died down, the contentment settles in. You place a kiss and pull him close. Let your touches talk. You hold him tight and he holds you, both longing for a forever like this.
Some time has passed and you still lay there, listening to your darling sleep. The way his relaxed face looks makes you hesitate, should you stay here and appreciated your love, feel this blessed moment until sleep takes you as well? Or should you join him in his dreams, dance and sing and laugh with him? Do the things that only dreams allow? Its an impossible choice, yet one you have to make every night. Although, a choice like this, it's not that bad. Both answers mean the same. They will overflow your head with delight and joy and love. They make you appreciate the quiet moments. They make you fall further for Levi.
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creatediana · 8 months ago
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Oh, man, am I obsessed with you— strawberry soda in a dream, I want to give your coffee cream, I want to toast to you and do a little movie scene. You don't know what I mean— I mutter to you all the time beneath my breath pathetically. I speak to you in reverie, I'm animated and sublime, and you are laughing, too. The corner of my view, the window into joy, you are— you're all things pleasant, interesting, worthwhile. I yammer, draw, and sing and explicate serene, bizarre things freely as they come. I ask you where you're from and where your home is, really, now— still here? You're one thrill-seeking man, experienced traveler. How can the universe I know allow you really to exist? In truth, you're made of mist and I am only on cloud nine. I decorate it like my room and spray the couches with perfume I really don't wear, but it's mine— and you, beloved guest, you know I am obsessed but you approve it. I'm no threat— I love, and I am right to love. I'm caught in the illusions of embarrassments comfortably set on trays for me to eat. You're simply just too sweet.
"Musings" - a poem written 5/18/2024
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secretsiwhispertothemoon · 7 months ago
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new community thing :3
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antigoneblue · 2 years ago
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[ image description: a three lined magnet poem. there are spaces between each word and each phrase. the magnets say: "live but liquid / sacred yet soft / listen / girl is boy when time is flowering" /end ID ]
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halfdeadwallfly · 9 days ago
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i had a nightmare last night that i was i was in a poetry class and accidentally turned in the beginning of a poem i was writing and the ta started reading it without realizing i was still there. and i was like oh thats mine can you give me your critiques on it. and then they basically started talking about how much they hate it and how cliche and unoriginal it is and how embarrassing that is. and not only how bad it was but how there was no potential for improvement and that they hate beginner writers and i should just quit because its an embarrassment to the form and they actually hated me personally for writing it. and then i left and started crying.
#boink#like what?#hello??#what the fuck??#the setting was basically my poetry class this semester except the ta was a woman instead of a man in my dream#which kind of made it hurt more LOL#bc im kind of more used to men being condescending but when a woman is idk it kind of just stings a little extra#i had a hard time in that class and im pretty sure both the professor and the ta did not like me#which is fair ig. i missed three weeks of class and submitted all my work late#i ended up getting a c+ and honestly i think i just passed bc they didnt want me to try to take the class agian#but anyway#i wasnt thinking about that i dont think so idk why i dreamed about it like just now#ik it wasnt real but like. :/#every time i think about how i should just stop writing i think about my poetry teacher from last year#who keeps working w me and workshopping my poems and sends me opportunities for poetry programs and scholarships#he recommended me to the english department which is why i got an email about declaring an english major#i know thats not a particularly unique or special thing#like one of my friends got a similar recommendation from a professor as well#but i really admired this teacher and him having faith in me and my work and potential#thats just been really important and encouraging to me#he said my work is 'a sister to sylvia plath linda gregg and dorothea lasky'#literally the only affirmation i need to keep writing#every time i have bad thoughts#or dreams lol#i will remind myself of this
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skid-the-mighty-poet · 5 months ago
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#writing#poetry#2021#december 2021#december 18 2021#Closure#about to go through the mortifying ordeal of posting a bunch really old poems that I am embarrassed by#anyways the author here is JK Rowling#a bunch of girls I went to Catholic school with where really into Harry Potter in 6th grade#sometimes I wonder what their opinions on her political beliefs are#specifically the line about wished id asked certain questions are me trying to remember if she was being a terf back then and if i knew#cause if she had then i really wish id used that to figure out the opinions the girls in my grade had on trans people#I got bullied by all the guys in my grade for being trans and the girls didn’t seem against that fact#but they weren’t mainly werent dicks to me either. just indifferent. Maybe they somehow didn’t know i was getting bullied#or maybe they didn’t care about me specifically which doesn’t really make them transphobes#There was this girl who i thought for sure thought trans people where weird#but now shes one of the only people i grew up with that knows im that kid she grew up with. And shes like an ally#So like how many kids who i thought were queerphobic or hated me actually didn’t?#i could talk more on this but i dont feel like it#trans#transgender#a lot of this poem i hate like honestly kinda pointless to refrence JKR#but that “the good has had been faded fading” is still so good#honestly forgot what exactly I was getting at with it#but I remember being really proud of that line so I'm gonna maintain that pride and trust that it really does go hard#Catholic school#ex-Catholic#I really dont know how to tag my personal work with the objective of visibility
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karedaki-memento-mori · 9 months ago
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guilt
i do something good
what they want
then their expectations grow
i should touch the sky
i can't
I'm still in my bed
unable
unstable.
sunday's dinner table
they talk
i run
a horse that wants to be free
hiding behind a big black tree.
trying to act happy
they already ruined my dreams
guilt
something they should feel
but i deal with it
why
they ruined safeness
now it's only me and my graveness.
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arourai · 11 months ago
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this sucks
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goldendirk · 1 year ago
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started autobiography of red. i don't know if this is an english language problem for me or a general poetry problem, but i cannot decipher metric. i think it is an english language problem tbh, but also like, augh
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honeekyuu · 6 months ago
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stuck. [tsukishima kei x f!reader]
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>>Tsukishima is the kind of best friend that makes you want to leave him, but you just can't bring yourself to.
or
You end up confessing in the middle of a fight and he fucks you to show you how much he really cares.<<
______________________________
tags: smut, fluff, angst, best friends to lovers, oral sex (f receiving), penetrative sex, fingering, rough sex, alcohol/drinking, college au, tsukishima kei is a dick, drunk sex, unprotected sex (dont do that), creampie, dom/sub undertones
a/n: ahahahaha this was my first hq work posted on ao3, and it is everything Mean Best Friend Tsukishima Kei that i needed. i hope you enjoy!
[feel free to buy me a cup of coffee!]
------------------
“Okay, I’m done! How do I look?”
“You look like shit.”
You sigh, trying not to let him get to you. 
Tsukki’s always been this way - dismissive, nonchalant, indifferent. Through middle school, he’d been sarcastic. He’d been snarky and brutally honest. And in high school, he’d only gotten worse. 
Anyone else in your position might have left him already. People you’d known in school had told you to find someone else, a better friend. Best friends don’t treat each other the way Tsukishima treats you , they’d said. His teammates had been in the habit of scolding him whenever he’d go too far, whenever he’d push your buttons a little too hard. The only one who could see your side had been Yamaguchi, and even he’d had his reservations at times.
But other people don’t know Tsukishima Kei. They know the Tsukki that would refuse to share his notes with you after you’d been out sick. The Tsukki that would steal parts of your lunch and hold it high above your head, far out of your reach, and call you mean names with a cruel smirk. The Tsukki that would often leave you behind after school and head home without you, leaving you to text him and wonder where he’d gone.
They don’t know that the same person would show up at your house with his notes, walking you through calculus and poetry lessons himself because he knows you learn better with a teacher. And, even though you never called him out for it, he would show up the day you’d been out sick, too, just to check on you. Just to watch movies in bed with you, waving off your concerns about him getting sick. He hated being sick, but he would ignore your complaints and force you to relax - because you’d only ever get sick when you overworked yourself, which meant he hadn’t been watching over you closely enough. 
They don’t know that Tsukki would secretly swap your lunch out for his own - better, homemade food that wasn’t the cafeteria slop you were often forced to buy because your parents weren’t home a lot. He would watch you push the food around on your tray while you’d laugh at something Hinata had said, identifying at least 3 things you were allergic to on that plate. So he would reach for it, leaving his own (allergen-free, thanks to Akiteru) lunch open for retaliation while he’d use his height as a way to take out his frustrations on you - his irritation that you never seemed to put yourself first, choosing starvation over just simply asking your parents for money before they go out of town.
And the times he’d leave you behind - well, half the time, it had been an accident. It was impossible to remember your packed schedule, all your clubs and student council meetings lumping into a vague ‘ Y/n’s busy ’ block of time in his mind. The other half of the time, it was because he needed to be alone. It’s not that he’s an asshole and loves to make you suffer - in fact, he would often call you later the same night, apologizing in his own, special Tsukishima Kei way and explaining himself. He gets overwhelmed easily, overstimulated by too many people, too many responsibilities, too many social expectations. So he would disappear as soon as he was allowed, needing to be alone with himself and no one else.
So, the people in your life had known a different version of Tsukishima than you do. Where they’d seen a bully, cold and unrelenting even for his best friend, you’d known nothing more than an introvert, expressing his care in a way that was unrecognizable to anyone but you.
Care that had carried over into college, the last three years filled with a Tsukishima Kei that even you hadn’t expected. A version of him that walks you from the library to your dorm at night, despite his increasingly hectic volleyball schedule. A Tsukishima who calls you in the morning on his walk to class to make sure you haven’t overslept, because - even if the calls consist of nothing but your crabby morning disposition, berating him for pulling you from your slumber - he knows you’ll thank him later, as you often do.
A Tsukishima who lets you drag him to parties, even though he hates them to his very core. He lets you tug him along to your dorm, lets you force him to sit through the hour-long ordeal of choosing your outfit. Lets you spin in front of him when you’re done, clearly pleased with yourself, and ask him how you look.
Lets you throw a pillow at his face when he tells you that you look like shit, even if he wholeheartedly believes otherwise.
“Tsukki, can’t you say one nice thing to me? For once?”
He scoffs when you put your hands on your hips, turning his gaze back to his phone as he lounges on your bed like it’s his own. It might as well be, with the amount of time he spends in this room.
“That would require you to have something worth being nice about, wouldn’t it?” He smiles mockingly when he catches the irritated twitch of your eyebrow.
“You’re a dick.”
“Nothing new about that.” Tsukishima watches as you turn back to your closet with a huff, taking the time to look you over appreciatively. No , he thinks, his eyes lingering on the curve of your breasts and the way your dress hugs your hips, the material tight but soft. His hand itches with the urge to touch it, to find out for himself. It’s not that you have nothing. It’s that you have too much.
He sighs, sitting up, and runs his fingers through his hair.
You have too much, and it’s fucking annoying. 
His eyes flick to you again, his own irritation growing. You’d always been too good. Too perfect, too overwhelming. He’d hated falling in love. It had sucked. High school had sucked . Having you cling to him every day and finding himself clinging right back. Not understanding these complicated feelings he has - ones that want nothing more than to hold you in his arms, against others that would tell him to push you away with his sharp tongue, to protect himself from this terrifying feeling. 
And now that he’s accepted it - it had only taken him the entirety of high school and at least a year of college - he almost hates it more. Being so close to you and somehow still feeling like he can’t breathe because it’s not nearly close enough.
So he stands, shoving his phone in the pocket of his jeans, and stares you down when you finally turn back to him.
“Can we go? The sooner we get to this stupid thing, the sooner I can go home.” He thinks he sees a flicker of hurt flash across your eyes, but that can’t be it. He’s said worse things before. You always bounce back, a retort on the tip of your tongue for everything he could throw at you. You always match him, blow for blow.
So why, then, can he see your jaw clenching as you turn away from him? Why does he feel like you’re pulling your jacket off the rack with more force than usual? Why are you leaving without responding?
What the fuck ?
-
Fuck Tsukishima Kei . 
It’s the only thought in your mind as you down the shot, wincing as the alcohol slides down your throat. You’d lost count of the drinks you’ve had about an hour ago, when the thought had been something more like ‘ Fuck Tsukishima Kei. Stupid fucking idiot. Never thinks before he speaks ’.
Clearly, you’d mellowed out a little, but the anger is still there, simmering in your chest and threatening to rise every time he gets close to you.
The walk to the frat had been silent, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about your mood, only scrolling through his phone and occasionally glancing over at you. You’d felt the irritation crawling under your skin with every pass of his eyes over you, but you hadn’t returned any of his gazes, only looking forward to getting to the party and being with other people.
But he hadn’t let you wander off so easily, his tall form following close behind as you’d tried to find some of your friends from class. You can tell he’s been trying to silently check on you, like he always does when he knows he’s bothered you. 
He’d brought you drinks, only smiling emptily when you’d glared up at him. It shouldn’t have made your heart skip that he’d done nothing more than offered you a drink, tapping his own red solo cup against yours and matching you shot for shot. It shouldn’t affect you when he does the bare minimum. 
He’d danced close to you, one hand on your waist and his warm chest pressed firmly against your back. You’d hated it - feeling so safe in the arms of someone who had derived pleasure from picking on you your whole lives. And even if that’s not true - even if you only take into account all the ways that he’d taken care of you, celebrating all your accomplishments with you and holding you while you’d cried about your failures - you still shouldn’t be feeling that familiar tug of nerves in your stomach when he presses his hips against your ass, slipping his fingers through yours and pulling you close.
And when that hadn’t worked - when you’d held your ground and managed to cling to your anger from earlier - he’d even tried to talk to you about it. That isn’t normal for him by any means, but you could see the confusion in his eyes when he’d leaned down to be heard over the music, mumbling his question against the shell of your ear.
“Are we okay ?”
It had taken everything in you to resist him, to resist the pull that is Tsukishima Kei. The same pull that had kept you next to him all these years, through all the teasing and the poking. The pull that kept reminding you that he’s just bad at expressing his feelings. He’s just bad at being nice. He’s just bad at holding his tongue.
But that doesn’t mean you have to sit and take it every time.
So you’d only smacked his hand away and glared when he’d cupped the side of your face, trying to get you to look at him. Stomping over to the bar, you had asked the frat boy for a shot of something random. 
After downing it, you try not to look back but fail miserably - you might be pissed, but you’ve never been immune to him. You probably never would be.
Glancing back, you can see his blond head in the sea of people. He’s trying to make his way to the bar, but his head is whipping to the side at the sound of something. A tall guy - you recognize it’s someone from his team - appears at his side, clapping his shoulder, and you can only assume he’d heard his name being called.
They start talking, Tsukki seeming distracted but drunk enough to at least pretend he’s interested in the conversation. You look away just as he’s turning his head back to you - you won’t be caught looking his way again tonight.
Luckily, there’s someone stepping up beside you, catching your attention with their bright smile.
“Y/n?!” 
You blink, startled by the recognition. But when you finally see who it is, you can’t help but beam.
“Oh my God, Bokuto?!” You leap toward him, wrapping your arms around the man’s neck and dragging him into a hug. You feel him laugh against you, his arms sliding around your waist and pulling you in tight. When you step away, he keeps you close, hand on your hips.
“What are you doing here?! You don’t go here, do you?” 
The man shakes his head, grinning down at you and pointing over his shoulder.
“Nah, I’m just visiting a few friends over the weekend.”
You glance past him, seeing a group of boys that seem like they could be familiar to you, but you can never tell - Bokuto Koutarou is friends with everyone.
When you look back, you catch his eyes wandering down the length of your body, his gaze snapping up to yours when you clear your throat. He has the decency to look ashamed.
“Sorry, Y/n - You’ve just, uh… grown up a lot since high school.”
You flush deeply, something that makes him grin when he catches it. 
At least someone thinks I look good tonight .
You’re smiling flirtily up at him, feeling confident enough to drag this conversation out. He seems to notice, an interested glimmer in his eye. But then he’s glancing over your shoulder, and his eyebrows are raising in surprise.
A hand wraps around your bicep, much tighter than necessary in your opinion. You barely have time to spot the blond hair in your peripheral vision before you’re being dragged away. You can only wave at Bokuto, who looks a little disappointed but mostly just amused.
Tsukishima only lets you go when you’re outside, his hand dropping from your skin like you’ve burned him. You whip around to face him, more than ready to yell at him on the front lawn of this frat house. But he’s already walking away, in the direction of your dorm.
“Dude, what the hell? You didn’t even say hi to him - he’s one of your closest friends!” You stalk after him, determined to figure out what could possibly be going through his mind. But he won’t answer you, just shaking his head and mumbling something that sounds vaguely like ‘exactly ’ as he makes his way down the street.
You scoff, turning back to the frat. He’s out of his mind if he thinks you’re just going to follow him home quietly.
You start to head back to the party, but you barely make it five steps before his fingers are closing around your wrist and tugging you back to him. When you look up, enraged at his entitlement, you see that he’s incensed, staring down at you with wild eyes. He looks pissed, which he has no reason to be. But there’s something else there, something that’s contributing to this almost panicked anger sitting just below the surface.
“Tsukishima, what do you want?” 
He bristles at the use of his full name, golden eyes narrowing as he stares down at you.
“You’re going home.” He punctures every word with barely concealed irritation, finally turning and dragging you back down the street. You don’t say anything this time, feeling that previously mellowed out anger returning full force as you stare at the back of his head.
The walk back is just as silent as the walk to the party had been, but this time you feel ready to explode. You’d been annoyed before, bothered and hurt by his words and the way he treats you.
Now you’re just ready to pick a fight. Which means you’ll probably say something you’ll regret if you don’t get away from him soon and take some time to calm the hell down.
When you get to your door, you’ve already got your keys out. He’d let go of you in the elevator, finally realizing that he’d been gripping you way too hard. You might just be able to get inside without him following.
But the second you unlock the door and slip inside, not a word said to the blond as you try to shut the door behind you, his hand is slamming down on the wood. He stops your attempt, staring down at you with annoyance.
“You’re joking, right?” And then he’s pushing into your room with an angry sigh, letting the door swing shut behind him. You only step back, crossing your arms over your chest as you look him over.
“What do you want?”
“What do I wa- What is your problem tonight ?” He squints down at you, eyebrows furrowed. When you only raise yours, his jaw is clenching. “Why the fuck are you so mad at me?”
“Because-” You stop yourself, taking a deep breath in order to maintain some semblance of control. “Because you’re an asshole, Tsukishima-”
“Stop fucking calling me that, Y/n-”
“-and maybe I’m just not in the mood for your shit tonight!” You yell over him, clenching your fists against your body. You need him to go. You cannot let him see you cry.
“I’m always an asshole! How is tonight any different-” He’s taken a step further into the small bedroom, and you take a step back, feeling overwhelmed. You’re immensely glad you don’t have a roommate, so they don’t have to deal with the mess that is your friendship with Tsukki.
“Tonight isn’t any different, you dick. It’s the same as it always is. I’m just tired of it tonight.” You feel yourself growing angrier when he just laughs, throwing you a mocking smile as he paces the room. He’s definitely drunk.
“Oh, excuse me, I didn’t realize I needed to account for Little Miss Y/n’s fucking mood swings whenever I open my mouth-”
“What the fuck did you just sa-”
“I just didn’t take you for someone who’s sensitive-”
“Well, maybe I am, you fucking asshole! ”
You’re definitely drunk, too.
Tsukishima stops short, taking you in. He can’t hide the shock on his face when he sees you - the way your hands are shaking at your sides, the quiver of your lip as you try your best to stand up to him. You’re trying so hard not to cry, he can tell.
Wow, I really am an asshole.
“Y/n… I-”
“Did you really think I would still want to go to that party once you’d made it clear how much you didn’t want to go? That you think it’s stupid to hang out with your best friend on a Friday night doing something she wants to do - because your idea of a good time is so different from mine that you would try make me feel like a fucking idiot for it?” 
Tsukishima’s starting to panic - had he made you feel that way? He’d just been talking. He hadn’t even been thinking about how it would make you feel - he’d thought nothing could hurt you, that your friendship is guaranteed and that having you next to him is a given. 
Now he feels like he’s losing you. 
“Maybe, once in a fucking while , it wouldn’t hurt you too much to tell a girl she’s pretty when she’s just spent an hour trying to look good for you.”
The frustration on Tsukishima’s face drops, and he’s left staring emptily at you. 
That’s what this is about? 
He stares for a while, his eyes just flicking back and forth between yours as he thinks of how to take that. It makes you nervous. You’d said too much. 
“Fuck this.”
You blink, staring up at him in disbelief. What is that supposed to mean?
“What do you- mmh -” 
Tsukishima had crossed the room in just two steps, taking your face in his hands while you’d been preparing to yell at him again. And then he’d smashed his lips to yours.
Your heart jumps into your throat, and you let out a noise of shock, muffled against his mouth. Your eyes remain wide open, flitting in a panic over his features as you feel his lips move against yours. His brow is furrowing behind his glasses, and you’re realizing that you still haven’t kissed him back. You push against his lips experimentally, watching that wrinkle between his eyes all but disappear when he feels it, and you think it looks a lot like relief.
He’s nervous.
Your body moves of its own accord, hands sliding up his chest to grip at his shirt, and your eyes slide closed when you feel one of his hands fall to your waist. He nudges you backward, and you feel the hard surface of your closet door against your back.
Tsukishima slides his tongue against your bottom lip, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth when he feels you inhale sharply in response. He takes advantage of your surprise, pushing past your lips and brushing his tongue against yours. When you slide your hands up and around his neck, tugging at the hair there, he groans and leans down. 
Planting a hand on the door behind you, he angles his head, slotting his lips against yours. He presses his hips into you, and you can feel how hard he’s getting. You sigh into his mouth at the feeling, smiling when his body reacts to the sound, his cock hardening against your thigh. 
Tsukishima Kei might be impossible to read sometimes, but he never could hide from you.
He drops his mouth to your neck, latching onto a spot under your ear and using his other arm to pull you flush against him. The sounds you’re making are clear now, soft gasps and whimpers echoing in your tiny dorm room.
“So stupid… ” 
You barely hear him, too busy wondering why it had taken so long to feel his lips on your skin.
“The only person in the world that can see right through me, and you were stupid enough to believe what I said. ” He mumbles it into your ear, taking your earlobe between his teeth and sighing when you moan against him.
“You’re so mean…” Your breath catches in your throat when you feel his hand drop to your leg, pulling the fabric of your dress up slightly. He grips at the back of your bare thigh, brushing against your panties and kneading into the plush skin just below your ass.
“What were you gonna do, Y/n, go home with Bokuto?” Tsukishima all but growls the question against your neck, dragging your thigh up and wrapping your leg around his hip. He feels your dress slide up, feels your warmth against his jeans. He’s desperate to get out of them.
“Y-You called me ugly-”
“I never said that.” Yes he had. He knows he had. He just hadn’t realized you would take it to heart. Now he hates himself for even saying it. For pretending you aren’t the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen.
“Bo said I looked good… Figured I might as well go for someone who’s actually attracted to me…” You whimper when Tsukishima presses his erection against you, your thin panties useless against the rough fabric of his jeans.
“Does it feel like I’m not attracted to you?”
You breathe out a laugh, clinging to his biceps as he sucks another bruise into your skin.
“How was I supposed to know, you dumbass? You only ever say mean things, and I thought I could get over you by-”
“By what?” He’s getting irritated again at the thought of what could have happened tonight if he hadn’t brought you home. If he’d left you alone, like his brain was telling him to. If he’d given you space and just texted you in the morning. 
“You thought you could just fuck some other guy and get over me?” He lifts his head, grinning cruelly when you look up at him, your lip trembling. “Because I didn’t call you pretty tonight? Because you were tired of me being mean all the time?”
You nod, a gasp leaving you when he wraps an arm around your waist and hoists you up so you’re eye-level, slamming you back against the closet door and pinning you there with his hips. Your dress is bunched up around your stomach now, leaving Tsukishima with a perfect view of the wet spot on your panties when he glances down. His grin widens, an evil glint shining behind his glasses.
“But it seems like you like it when I say mean things, Y/n.”
You whine in protest, growing louder when you feel him rut involuntarily against you at the sound.
“This is different, Tsukki-”
“Is it?” He’s distracted when he asks, too busy steadying you in his arms so he can lift you up and away from the closet. Making his way to your bed, he drops you unceremoniously on the mattress, smiling when you yelp. He removes his glasses and leaves them on your bedside table, dropping to his knees at the edge of the bed and wrapping his arms around your thighs so he can drag you toward him.
You sit up, taking his face in your hands and pressing your lips urgently to his - even on his knees, he’s tall enough to be eye-level with you. You feel his fingers, long and calloused, drift up your thighs and hook into your panties while he nips almost affectionately at your bottom lip.
“Tsukki… ” You whisper against his mouth, but he’s quick to shake his head, mumbling back to you.
“Not that. ”
You’re a little surprised - you never really call him by his first name. He’d found it uncomfortable the one time you’d tried it as a joke. But if he’s asking, then-
“Kei .” His pulse quickens under your fingertips when you murmur against his lips, his kiss becoming more full, and you realize just how much he likes it.
You pull away and press kisses to his face, peppering them across his nose and cheeks. It’s a moment that’s far softer than either of you had had before, one that has Tsukishima’s heart beating a little too hard in his chest. 
God, he hates being in love.
He pulls away from you, planting one hand on your chest and shoving you away from him. You fall back onto your elbows with a noise of surprise, bouncing lightly on the mattress. Tsukishima only reaches for your panties again, tugging them down and smiling to himself when you lift your hips to help him. 
He throws them somewhere over his shoulder, refusing to break his attention. Planting his hands on each of your knees, he pries your knees open slowly, glancing up at your face for any signs of discomfort. When he finds none, his gaze flicks back down to what’s in front of him.
And then his breath is cutting short at the sight of you lying bare in front of him. You’re glistening, even in this dark room, and his cock is suddenly unbearably hard. 
He’d been thinking about this moment for far longer than he’d ever care to admit. 
“Well, isn’t this just the prettiest little pussy I’ve ever seen?” 
You throw your head back at his words, moaning loudly. 
“Oh, shut up.” You know Tsukki’s slept with his fair share of girls since you’d started college - being a popular volleyball player has its benefits. You’d done the same, hoping to squash down that jealousy in your own, twisted way. To hear him praising you like this - like you’d always wanted - has you clenching and squirming from the desire coursing through your veins.
“First you get mad because I’m too mean, and now you’re mad because I’m being nice?” He tilts his head, his voice mocking. “You really need to make up your mind.” 
And then, before you can let out some kind of snarky quip, he’s dipping his head and dragging his tongue over your slit in one long stripe. 
You gasp loudly and moan out his name, falling back onto the mattress as your hands fly to his head. You bury your fingers in his hair, tightening your grip when he does it again, licking through your folds before latching onto your clit, pulling the nub gently into his mouth.
He moans loudly against you when you mewl and pull his hair. The vibration on your clit makes you squirm, and you’re involuntarily rutting your hips against his face. He only laughs against you, his breath tickling your skin, and wraps an arm over your hips to hold you steady on the bed.
He pulls his mouth off of you, and you lift your head to look at him in annoyance. He smirks, holding eye contact while he brings his other hand to your folds. When he runs his fingers through them, stopping briefly to circle your clit, you whimper. And when he drops his middle finger to your entrance, nudging gently at it in question, you bite your lip and nod furiously, just wanting him to touch you already-
“Oh my- Kei-” Your head falls back when he slides his finger in and drops his mouth to your clit to suck on it. He sets his pace with his finger, thrusting into you and curling gently up toward himself, repeating the process until he can tell by your squirming hips that you’re starting to feel something.
And then he’s pushing another finger past your entrance, his cock twitching when you moan at the stretch. He’s been painfully hard for a while now, and all he wants is to be inside you of already. He doesn’t realize you’re feeling just as impatient, only noticing when your hands drop to his shoulders, tugging on his shirt.
“Kei …” You pout down at him, your eyelids fluttering when he thrusts his fingers into you again. His fingertips are brushing against a spot you’ve never been able to reach yourself, his fingers much longer than yours. You think you might become addicted to his hands soon. But you only pull again on his shirt with a whine, hoping he’ll get the message. 
Luckily, he does, because he’s pulling away to rip his shirt impatiently off his back, wiping his mouth with it before throwing it to the floor. He unzips his jeans as he makes his way up to the bed, pausing to scoop you up into his arms and tossing you closer to your pillows so he can climb on top of you.
When he pushes his mouth to yours, you’re moaning. He tastes like you, something he’s apparently proud of, because he’s just smiling against you and shoving his tongue past your lips. He drops his mouth to your neck again as he fumbles with his jeans.
“You taste so good, you know that?” He latches onto your skin, sucking harshly. “So much better than I’d imagined.” He pushes his pants just past his thighs, growing impatient. You gasp quietly when his cock brushes against you, the sound changing to a moan when Tsukishima runs it through your folds, sliding against you.
He lifts his head to look at you, his eyes searching yours in a moment of astounding clarity given the insanity of this whole night.
“You sure?”
Your heart jumps when he asks. He’s got the tip of his cock nudging against your entrance, clearly holding himself back. But the way he’s looking at you makes you realize he wants this to be done right - after all, this had started with the two of you fighting. He doesn’t want you to regret this later and be even more upset with him.
He doesn’t want to lose you.
The idea that that’s what been hiding behind Tsukki’s eyes tonight - that vague panic that you couldn’t put your finger on - makes your heart sing and your stomach swoop with butterflies. You can only nod, cupping his face and bringing him down to your lips. His kiss is gentle and full of something that makes your nerves worse, something that makes you feel more than sure.
“I want this more than anything.”
Tsukishima’s heart skips, and he’s swearing softly against your lips. He hovers over you, keeping his mouth on yours as he presses his thumb against the head of his cock, guiding it past your entrance.
You gasp together as he pushes slowly into you, a moan pulled from your throat when he bottoms out and breathes out your name. The fog in your head - a mixture of alcohol, arousal, and nerves at the realization that you’re having sex with your best friend - worsens considerably when he drops his head to your neck, making an admission against your ear.
I’ve wanted this for so long …”
You whimper, curling your fingers into his hair and holding him close as he pulls out slowly just to slide into you again. You moan at the slow stretch, feeling his shaky breath against your ear.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you…” Tsukishima doesn’t know why he’s choosing now to have this conversation, when you very well can just talk about it after. But there’s a strand of fear twisting around the butterflies in the pit of his stomach, and his mouth is moving without his permission. He needs you to understand what this means to him.
“I didn’t know it would hurt you… I didn’t mean it…” His hips are still slow, moving languidly against yours. He’d expected this to be rough - sex is only ever rough for him - but he needs to concentrate on what he’s saying. And you feel so good like this, so warm and tight around him.
You’re having the same problem, your head completely empty as you feel him push into you inch by inch instead of all at once. You can barely hear him, your ears ringing and your skin overheating while you try to process that this is actually happening - that you finally have Tsukishima Kei the way that you’d always dreamed about.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Y/n.”
Your heart stutters when you realize what he’s been saying. Even with everything else going on right now - even as his hips are picking up the pace, even with his breath shuddering against your skin as he moans quietly in your ear - he’s distracted, trying to apologize. Trying to make things right between you.
“It’s okay…” You whisper forgiveness into his hair, but you feel him shake his head, his grip on your hips tightening.
“It’s not. I shouldn’t hurt you. Not you…” He gasps quietly into your neck, his hips stuttering momentarily before he returns to his previous speed. “S-Sorry… You feel really good… Trying to focus.”
You flush, clenching around him and pulling him closer when he groans. You think about what he’s saying. ‘ Not you ’?
You’re about to ask what he means, but he’s mumbling another admission against your skin, this one much more intense than the last.
“I love you, Y/n… So fucking in love, it hurts…”
You inhale sharply, your heart stopping in your chest. But then there’s a moan ripping from your throat, because he’s hitting a spot in you that you didn’t even know existed, the tip of his cock bumping up against something that makes the coil in the pit of your stomach twist harshly.
“I- fuck - Tsukki, I love you, too…”
Tsukishima lifts his head then, staring down at you with surprise written all over his face. You can only breathe out a laugh, moaning quietly while you giggle.
“What, you’re shocked? I just told you I almost went home with Bokuto just so I could stop thinking about you.”
His eyes darken at your words, and his hips are snapping harshly against yours. You moan in surprise, feeling your stomach flip at the way he’s looking down at you. He seems to remember now just how this night could have gone.
He sits up, knocking your hands away when you reach out for him with a whine, and pulls out of you completely. Slipping off the edge of the bed, he wraps his hands around your thighs and tugs you toward him roughly. He only smiles mockingly down at you when you slide across the mattress with a quiet yelp, pulling your hips flush against his.
When he slips into you again, the soft, caring Tsukishima is gone, replaced with the Tsukki you’ve always known. The one who has no problem running his mouth just to get to you.
“That’s it then, huh? If I hadn’t dragged you home, you’d be wrapped around another man right now?” He slams into you, watching with delight as you cry out and arch your back. He keeps this pace, his grip on your hips bordering on painful as he drives his cock into you.
“Tsukki-”
“What did I tell you? ” His tone cuts through you, yanking hard on that coil in your navel and setting off a fresh flurry of butterflies.
“I- Kei -”
“You think you can forget about me that easily? You think I would let you?” 
You’re writhing under him, hands gripping your sheets tight as you gasp with each hard thrust of his hips on yours. The sight makes Tsukishima’s hips stutter, and he feels his orgasm coming on. He drops his thumb to your clit to push you closer to the edge, throwing his head back with a moan when you clench around him.
“Kei, please- feels so goo- ah- ”
“S-Shit, Y/n, I’m not gonna last… Where should I-” Tsukishima almost loses it when you claw at his hands on your hips, latching onto his wrists as you moan.
“Insi-Inside… Inside, Kei, please…” You look up at him, taking in the flush of his cheeks, the way his eyelids flutter when you clench around him. The way he bites down hard on his bottom lip and moans after a few seconds, breaking his hold on you so he can slam his hands down on the mattress on either side of you, his hair falling into his face as he pants down at you.
“Fuck -” He reaches down, brushing his thumb over your clit again. When you tighten around him this time, he’s letting out a choked gasp and your name, and you’re suddenly filled with warmth as his hips stutter, as he spills into you. He drops his head to your shoulder, his breath shaky as he thrusts into you, riding out his orgasm.
And when he’s done - when his cum is dripping out of you while you squirm, feeling full but unsatisfied - he sits up, pulling you against him again. He wraps his fingers around your wrists, smiling breathlessly when you cling to his forearms, and uses you as leverage when he draws his hips back and snaps them harshly into yours.
You cry out, feeling yourself throb the more he all but drags you down onto his cock and tries to draw your orgasm out of you. He releases your wrists, his thumb circling that little bundle of nerves while his other hand grips the back of your thigh, spreading your legs even further. 
When he changes the angle of his stroke, you’re gasping, unable to handle all of the sensations he’s causing in your body. There’s too much going on, too many feelings happening, each of which is bringing you closer to the edge. You slap your hands down over your face, trying both to muffle your moans and also hide your face, feeling embarrassed that your body is reacting so strongly to everything Tsukishima does.
He only coos down at you, his tone almost insulting.
“Oh, is my baby going to come?”
You whine loudly at his words, so rude but so endearing - your stomach swoops as the coil tightens, but you nod anyway. His low chuckle reaches your ears.
“Let me see you, then.” When you don’t respond, only moaning into your hands with each thrust, he clicks his teeth at you in annoyance. “Come on, Y/n. I wanna see how pretty my best friend looks when she comes on my cock.”
Tsukishima beams when that does it, your back arching as you cry out his name. You screw your eyes shut and fumble desperately for his hands. He slips his fingers through yours, holding tight when you come, your walls fluttering around him. He fucks you through it, inhaling sharply when you become impossibly tight, and then drops down over you when you're done, pressing his lips to yours.
You let out a sob against his mouth, your limbs heavy as you try to catch your breath. 
“Tsukki …” You wiggle uncomfortably, wrapping your arms around his neck and clinging to him. He laughs against your neck, pressing kisses to your skin. And then he leans up again, pressing his lips to your tiredly.
“Let me get you cleaned up.” He snickers when you whine but joins in on your soft gasp when he slides out of you, both of you sensitive. Stripping you out of the dress that’s been bunched up on your stomach this whole time, he leaves you on the bed, kicking his jeans off as he makes his way into your connected bathroom. When he returns, it’s with a wet rag and a gentle hand on your thighs.
Tsukishima scoops you into his arms when he’s done, setting you carefully against the pillows and climbing into bed with you. Your head is still empty, and you reach your arms out uselessly for him, mumbling his name. He only smiles, pulling you against his chest and kissing the side of your head.
“You okay?” When you nod sleepily against his chest, he smiles, tugging you closer. “Not too mean?”
You giggle, planting a kiss on his neck.
“I like you a little mean.”
Tsukishima snorts, shaking his head.
“I know you do. But still…” He meets your eyes, suddenly shy, his cheeks flushing. “I’ll be better from now on. Less ‘ toxic boyfriend ’ and more ‘ insufferable but still cute ’.”
You beam at his words, your heart skipping.
“Boyfriend , huh?”
He rolls his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips.
“Oh, I’m sorry - I forgot you and Bokuto were basically married.”
“Oh, right, I should probably tell him the wedding’s off-”
“You’re a dick.”
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ancientgoddessofegypt · 6 months ago
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Astro thoughts: short n sweet <3 all about the sun
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sun in the first house can be well known for how they look. there appearance is what brings them the most attention. There outlook on life must revolve around them in some way shape or form. They have a knack for knowing more than what they lead on, however, people are use to knowing them for how they portray themselves, the personality is a treat once you get to know them honestly.
sun in the second house love to be at home lol. can really be sweet homebodies most of the time, but also they live to have a more balanced life so try taken it easy on them for a while. the second house is the house of finances, stability, and materials, it also has alot to do with talents. in this house, the second house sun person needs time alone to go over some things they have a gift in, another thing with them is that they are pretty material focus. notice how i didnt say materialistic, because everyone deserves to have there needs met, and they don't notice how people think they look when their drive is mainly focused on the material and less on anywhere else.
sun in the third house - communication with people that they love and admire is a dream for them. they need more individuals in their lives who will allow them to speak and allow their thoughts to come out. they have a creative imagination and it must soar doing some type of hobby. sculpting, painting, or even just something like a crossroad puzzle could be what they need to get through the day. they have the ability to know whats wrong with a person as if they're a mind reader.
sun in the fourth house can also come off to be the black sheep in the family. thought i was going to say their the golden child? thats a rare occasion. the golden child is the 1st, 5th, 7th, 10th, 11th houses. this house, if you have any problems with family, your light can burn them a little. so them being the black sheep here is because the 4th house is a very private house, and the sun sheds a light on this house. that means, anything that someone has done or is about to do usually the 4th house sun notices it or sheds a light on it. telling them its wrong etc etc. very nice and sweethearts, needs people who want to be around them in order to feel good.
sun in the 5th house have a knack for entertainment. poetry, acting, singing, dancing.. you name it. they are good at many things, but they are also good at pleasing a crowd. there romance life can be pretty intriguing or they can come off as the hopeless romantic. very sweet, charismatic personalities.
sun in the 6th house (i honestly love this house) have a good aura to them. they bond really well with plants and animals (house of the virgo) and they typically keep to themselves. they love learning and they live their whole lives working at something they love to do. its just what they came here for. fashion could be significant here with people with this placement, its what helps them shine (6th house is connected to the wardrobe).
sun in the 7th house are the popular loners. well liked by a lot of people, but also well rounded. they have a tendency to know a lot about others because people thinks thats a way to get their attention. a lot of gossip energy can be around them. either they are the ones to gossip, or others tend to gossip to them.
sun in the 8th house have intriguing personalities. the way they move, the way the have this mystique to them, but when they open up.. whew. their just a different level of raw. there is a potency to their words that can bring anyone to their knees. because they have a need to heel the inner body/soul/consciousness and unlike others they need their space in order to do it. like a snake coming out of their skin, they change a lot just like any person... but for them it comes with a price.. the old self.
sun in the 9th house are deep philosophers and are VERY intelligent. its because their playful funny nature you dont really notice but.. they are really good at gaining information and would LOVE someone who can match their freak.. that is with the books of course. the perfect travel buddies, and will make you fall in love with them with their free spirits.
sun in the 10th house are very romantic behind close doors. i say this because the 10th house (believe it or not) is very private. they show you what they want you to see. a very inspiring personality. they can have the masses fall in love with them with ease, and can have any man or woman just because of the popular energy thats naturally around their name.
sun in the 11th house needs to familiarize themselves with the masses in order to understand the community better. can be friends with any and everybody. the original loners, but the real cool kids.
sun in the 12th house have a unique outlook on the world and they typically reflect this in their art, their life, their clothes, etc. they have a different stream of thought than their peers so this could typically make them the odd one out. they have a very empathetic personality, and are incredible to work with. they are for the people thats for sure.
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freyito · 1 year ago
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ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋᴏᴍʙᴀᴛ ʙᴏʏꜱ ᴅᴏ
so sorry for the little mini hiatus! im finally allllll moved in and i think all i really needed was like. a clean space. refreshed my mind a bit, lol. can't promise i'll have a steady schedule cause im still working on my inbox, just dont wanna get anything done (after this) til i've finished my new masterlists... anyways! ideas been in my head forever, need to get it off my chest NOW
cw: gn reader, just fluff, not proofread
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⎯ Liu Kang
Liu Kang will come up with poetry ON THE SPOT. It's crazy scary how quick he is with it. He chooses something about you and just runs with it. How your eyes are just the most enticing color in the sunlight, just how beautiful you are in kombat...
⎯ Bi-Han
Bi-Han will place little notes around the house or on things he knows you use often. He'll place one on the cover of the book your currently reading, or even within the pages. Little love notes, mainly motivating you, praising you... but he'll write a simple 'I love you', too.
⎯ Kuai Liang
Specifically whenever it's colder, Kuai willpull you in for a hug, and make his body temperature increase. He'll do it under different circumstances sometimes, even to tease you. He likes to keep you close as his temperature steadily rises. Perfect for cold nights.
⎯ Johnny Cage
Footsies. Anytime you two are sitting across from each other, either at the dinner table, or at some fancy restaurant, Johnny's always tapping at your shins, your knee, anything. Brings you closer, in a way.
⎯ Kenshi Takahashi
Kenshi has a habit of placing his hand on your head, whenever he feels like it. He'll play with your hair, or scratch at your scalp. He likes the texture, but he also just enjoys messing with you a little bit.
⎯ Kung Lao
Tickling you. Always and forever. Kung Lao will take the most inopportune moments to taze your sides, find those soft bits of flesh that make you giggle in just the right way.
⎯ Raiden
Raiden will do the little heart thing with his hands (or fingers) from across the room when he can't be with you. Eventually, he'll even try to do it with his lightning. It's an uncontrollable variable, and it takes him so LONG to get ahold of it. But, when he finally gets it, he's all giddy.
⎯ Zeffeero
As much as Rain groans and complains that his magic shouldn't be used for mundane things or fun, sometimes he'll form water into little hearts or stars. All for you. But he'll do it away from you, and kind of side-eye you, to make sure your watching.
⎯ Tomas Vrbada
Smoke has a tendency to sway whenever you two hug. Specifically when it's a longer hug. He just finds the motion comforting! He'll hum a little as he does this, too. That hum starts small, but then it catches on, he'll hum the same tune to you before you fall asleep.
⎯ Baraka
Point. Why? Baraka doesn't know. But he kinda likes your reaction. You two have a little game where he'll point, and you'll pop up and look around, do the whole "who, me?" thing. It's like a displacement behavior for him. Secretly, he kind of just wants to place his whole hand on your face like a basketball. He won't. Too risky.
⎯ Geras
Since Geras is still kind of unfamiliar with mortal love, he'll bring you little vials of sand. Kind of like bottles of shelves you'd find in a souvenir shop? He also most definitely asks Liu Kang for help throughout your relationship. So, normally, you get sent little (they're not little actually, they're like 5-page essays) love letters via Liu Kang.
⎯ Syzoth
Syzoth will flick his tongue over your cheek unintentionally. He swears! He's not doing it on purpose! You'll be lying down, or just close in general, and boom! There's the tongue!
⎯ Havik
Havik does that thing where he'll pull you in with one arm around your shoulder and one on the side of your head, and shake you gently. He'll make a little "rah" sound, it's a whole thing. Sometimes he's just over-whelmed with the urge to do that.
⎯ Shao Kahn
Sometimes, whenever Shao passes by you, he'll take you by your hand, and spin you. He'll chuckle and go back to what he was doing. But sometimes, it turns into full blown dancing.
⎯ Shang Tsung
Shang loves passing winks to you. He'll do it when he's too busy, he doesn't even use it to imply something. He'll do that super corny thing where he over-exaggerates his face and winks at you a LOT.
⎯ Reiko
Whether Reiko's just sparring, or in a genuine match, he'll always dedicate it to you. Even if you're not there. He'll whisper something for you under his breath, then beat the shit out of his opponent. He also loves bragging about his achievements to you. Only you. A soldier MUST have some humility.
⎯ Takeda Takahashi
Takeda loves saying your name in a real stupid sing-song voice. Dragging it out, horribly, in such a cheesy manor. He'll bring his voice up all high pitch and even bring his hands up to his face.
⎯ Erron Black
As much as Erron tries to be smooth with it, he kinda fails at hiding the fact that he's doing this for you. He exaggerates his accent, he'll quote all sorts of westerns, and just play reaaaaal hard into the Cowboy part for you.
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© freyito, 2023 | masterlist | queue | kofi DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.
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rathayibacter · 16 days ago
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Ok so how does one MAKE a tabletop game because this is something I want to try!! Are there good references out there for non-d20 systems or how to balance mechanics yourself?
oooh, hell yeah! honestly the big thing is to just do it, unlike board and video games the gap between idea and execution in ttrpgs is incredibly narrow, so if youve got an idea just start writing stuff down and see where it starts pulling you, where it feels like something's missing, find what excites you and what you feel isn't working. but that's not very specific, so let's get into it!
first off, read games! read weird games! there's tons of free ttrpgs on itch, lots of people sharing their work here and on other social media, there's 200 word rpgs here and here, and lots of system reference documents written specifically for people looking to hack games. reading other games is a great way to enrich your work whether you're building systems from scratch or working in an existing framework, because every game you read will show you a new way of approaching design problems.
on that note, draw inspiration outside of ttrpgs too! i pull a lot from video, board, and card games in my work, as well as poetry, novels, movies, etc etc etc. im autistic, and ive spent a lot of my life thinking about and dissecting unwritten social rules, so that's another big source of material for me. take your passions, whatever they may be, and put them in your work!
next up, think about the core of your game, sometimes called the minimum viable product. this is whatever the fundamental idea at the heart of your work is, and it's important to keep in mind because it keeps you from spiraling down unnecessary tangents. the core of your game can change, don't get me wrong! in fact, it likely will. what you want to do isn't prevent your work from growing and changing, but have a point of light you can always refer back to and ask "is what im doing important to this game?" you might be surprised by what you find isn't actually as important as you thought at first, and what turns out to be vital to the experience you're going for.
next up, once you start working, don't throw things away. if youre working in a word processor or google docs, it can help to have a section at the bottom of your document that you copy anything youd otherwise delete into. i do the same with my Affinity documents, ill have a few pages i dont export to store all my scraps. i know other folks who keep a dedicated scraps document that they use across projects. whatever works for you! the reason you do this is twofold: it makes it easier to cut things if you know you can always put it back later if you change your mind, and it gives you a lot of raw material that you can pull from in the future. months or years from now, you might find yourself looking to fill a gap in a new design and realize that some cool toy you set aside is exactly what you were looking for.
lastly, i wanna strongly encourage you to practice finishing things. that's often the hardest part for people, cuz we have a lot more experience starting projects than finishing them. here id like to once again direct you to 200 word rpgs, because that strict limit means you wind up with a finished first draft really quickly, and the rest of it is polishing and editing. once you've finished some bite-sized projects, you'll have a better idea of what it entails, what parts you're good at and what parts you struggle with, when to keep working and when to cut yourself off. i find it really helpful to add arbitrary limitations and deadlines on my work because that helps me push myself to finish something when otherwise i'd just keep adding and tweaking, but you'll find what works best for you!
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