#i dont read them and i definitely dont write them
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Never Have I Ever: Specific Service Job AU (Flower shop/Tattoo artist/Coffee Shop/Etc.; you get the Vibes)
I have not written one of these, and if I ever do there’s like. 3 combinations that I think would be funny lol.
1. Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth Coffee Shop AU but it’s one giant crackfic. A murder occurs at the coffee shop Phoenix is working at to pay his way through art school, and he has to help Edgeworth solve the murder in a single weekend because his boss entrusted him with the shop while he was out of town and he really needs this job. Despite there being a literal murder, it’s more of just a hallmark-style rom-com with as many tropes as I can cram into it because I think it’d be funny. Also Phoenix’s boss is played up as this super menacing and cruel person and then he turns up at the end and it’s just Larry
2. Life Series Scott/Jimmy Flower Shop/Soulmate AU. The Soulmate is largely there because the way I write flower husbands is as an inevitable thing that happens in every universe, other than that it’s a pretty run-of-the-mill flower shop AU where Scott runs “The Hobbit Hole”, a little hole-in-the-wall flower shop frequented by Jimmy
3. Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood Librarian AU. Martin is a librarian, Jon is a huge nerd who comes to the library on a regular basis, and it’s a sweet little 5+1 fic of all the times Martin saw Jon, and one time Jon saw Martin
Of all of these I’d say the Flower Husbands and Jmart ones are the most likely to actually get written, on account of being one-shots or at least relatively short fics in comparison to the Narumitsu one
#you will notice all of these have some kind of canon base#this is because i actually really dont like fics with no connection to canon#i dont read them and i definitely dont write them#nothing against them#just not for me personally lol#narumitsu#flower husbands#jmart#coco says stuff
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Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....
And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.
The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.
And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.
Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.
HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.
But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.
That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:
His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.
Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.
#see also: my grinding teeth when people disparage his circus origins#like the only thing its good for is colorful backstory and explaining his acrobatics#THERES. SO. MUCH. THERE.#theres so much EVERYWHERE in every aspect of his backstory and his preexisting comics and yet over and over we get#....what if we just ignored all that and did what the fuck ever as though this character has nothing integral to him or fundamental to say#to be fair my gripes with Taylor are not exactly interchangeable with my gripes with the previous runs#but I lump him in as an extension of them because while evocative of different SIDES of my ennui with these takes on Dick.....#the thing about Taylor's stuff to me (or the parts I read at least) is that its generic as hell while only retaining superficial elements#of Dick's character and stories in order to point to them and say see these are definitely about Dick Grayson. like....only in very surface#level ways. underneath that theyre basically generic superhero adventures that could easily be retooled to be about a pretty sizable number#of other characters. tbh with the whole alfred inheritance thing it honestly felt from the get go#that Taylor was more interested in writing a kinder gentler Batman like a Bruce from one of the animated shows like#The Brave and the Bold who gets along better with everyone else. even the way the Brave and the Bold largely exists to use Batman's#popularity as a star vehicle to platform his co-superhero for the episode lends itself to Taylor's approach in his NW run#with the central figure - only nominally DG imo - basically existing as a platform allowing for the drafting of any other character he want#to write in any given arc or story in a similar way to how Bruce is utilized in Brave and the Bold#anyway. idk idk. my issues with Taylor are not the same as the others exactly but also they are and also I just plain dont like the guy#so I complain about him at any given opportunity even when its not technically as accurate or relevant as it possibly could be#I Am Flawed. its fine though dont worry about it. its called being nuanced
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i have come here to personally thank you for giving me more than i asked for 🙏🏻 i am utterly grateful like IDJFKDKKFODOD 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️ it made me so happy the last doodle has my heart he is so cute i will eat him
also there is a DROUGHT out there for us noritoshi fans like im living on CRUMBS its insane and omg dont even talk to me abt how it feels like to be a kashimo and ino lover (altho they are getting a bit more love now) my nori is still underrated :/ sooo hence im asking ur hand in friendship and in exchange i promise to share my hcs with you abt nori my sweet lil meow meow we're in this together 💪🏻💪🏻
also since its October, do you think he likes horror movies? i feel like he can withstand gory movies but its the jumpscares that get him and he wont tell u he's scared when u watch one with jumpscares owkfkdkd imagine him hiding his face against ur shoulder or something 😭😭😭 (i used to do that with my dad when we watched horror movies and i used to be like im not scared😤😤 when he asked if i was lmfao thats where this hc stemmed from)
N. NORITOSHI HIDING IN YOUR SHOULDER OR SUPPRESSING HIS REACTIONS TO THE JUMPSCARES....... WAS IT AN INVOLUNTARY REACTION TO USE YOU TO HIDE??????? WAS IT BUILT UP TRUST????? DID HE GROW USED TO HOLDING ONTO YOU WHEN HE GETS SURPRISED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE HAS HIS VALUABLES SAFE????????? WAS IT A MOMENT WHERE HIS MIND JUST INSTINCTIVELY GRABBED THE FIRST THING HE WANTED TO PROTECT/BE PROTECTED BY???????? OH MY FUCK.
he's probably used to gore and gritty stuff like that since he sees it often being a jujutsu sorcerer and all. not to mention his technique is literally blood. maybe he's desensitized to gore films, the most you'll get from him is a disgusted scowl.
BUT DID YOU SEE HOW QUICK HIS EYE OPENED WHEN HANAMI SHOWED UP BEHIND HIM. YOURE SO FUCKING FR ABT JUMPSCARES. Noritoshi is that guy who wouldn't scream or yelp but gasp really loudly and jump out of his skin.
i feel like they get him most in horror because of the music building up anticipation. if its one of those fake outs where the jumpscare comes a bit after, he's fucked UP. It makes him instantly miffed, as he tries to regain his composure. He swears he's not usually like this, it got him by surprise is all..!
Noritoshi is the type that'd only watch a horror movie if the story is rich and complex. He's the type of guy to like open endings that make you think.. if it's a guilty pleasure movie where all the protags make stupid decisions, he gets annoyed right off the bat.
He's groaning and complaining about how imbecile the characters are, but would still watch it with you because you personally invited him. If he's lucky you could fall asleep on his shoulder or [insert movie cliche here] how could he pass that up? But Noritoshi wouldn't be able to focus on you if he gets twice as annoyed because its a bad movie + jumpscares. it still startles him, but the movie is so terrible, he's embarrassed it got him, especially in front of you!!!
if you get involved and you tell him to quiet down, Noritoshi would shift his focus towards you. like that awkward guy who thinks he's being smooth and lowkey about how he cuddles up next to you. He wants to be the tough guy who's shoulder you can hide in, and he is!! just not.. with jumpscares.......
#noritoshi#noritoshi x reader#kamo noritoshi#kamo noritoshi x reader#noritoshi kamo#noritoshi kamo x reader#merry october#sO SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE AGAIN WDYM OCTOBERS ALMOST OVER FUKC SO THESE OCTOBER POSTS WILL LEAK INTO NOVEMBER. AHA.#FAM I WAS SPITBALLIN SO HARD W THE WRITING BUT FUCK IT OH MY GOD I LOVED THAT#ty back for the cat noritoshi idea btw. ill love you forever#the way i fell off my chair and scrambled to read the rest of this ask was insane. friendship.? im so awkward but i'll be here for u homie#i love noritoshi headcanons..#i eat them up like candy...#.... my cult member is moving up the unspoken ranks i made up while making this cult.....#as for ino and kashimo. i dont know much about them.#but i like the bits i do know! i like ino's energy.... he reminds me of an excitable puppy from what ive seen..#i may draw more characters if i grow obsessed. i mean infatuated. or if they make noritoshi look good.#or if you do a damn good job at convincing me#but unfortunately. i was persuaded into a blood pact with my second in command to wait for the anime to finish then watch it with him then.#back to nori though. we are definitely together in this. i fucking understand the drought. pinterest keeps giving me geto#and yes. hes good too. BUT NOT THE MEOW MEOW I'M SCAVANGING FOR#THATS NOT MY STUCK UP BABYGIRL WHO'D SCOWL AT ME FOR PRONOUNCING WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE WRONG....#btw peep the orange for pumpkins or something#happy halloween my awesome cult#null rot
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"the vast majority of legal persecution against early queers was focused on men" ARE YOU INSANE
#rot.txt#DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG WOMEN WERE FORCED TO MARRY MEN OR DIE. HUH. WHERE AM I#this is from the section in the new hbomberguy video where he talks about james somertons misogyny and lesbophobia btw#SOMEONES BITTER THAT WOMEN KISS IN CARTOONS SOMETIMES!!!#AS IF THAT ERASES THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF MISOGYNY IN SO MANY CULTURES!!!!!!! GOOD GOD#sorry somerton is just so insanely stupid i cant get over it. why is he like that#like i dont know maybe this isnt important but i remember being asked as a kid to pick a greek city state to live in#but i was a girl. so none of them were good choices because apparently i would be forced to have children no matter which one i picked#and i guess it just stuck with me. if the boys liked to fight they got to pick sparta and if they liked to read then it was athens#but what did the girls get. a little more freedom in certain places but ultimately the same expectation. have babies or die#in hindsight there were definitely options in ancient greece#but my teacher didnt tell us that. we just had to write about whether we would like to have slightly more rights or not#OBVIOUSLY gay men have historically faced discrimination but saying that it wasnt as focused on women is just unbelievably stupid#sorry i dont know if any of this made sense#lesbophobia tw#misogyny tw
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Hi hi !!!!,, I asked this to velli as well, but I wanna know what Narrator stereotype you've personally heard the most as well ??? If that's okay :)
I saw velli’s post so I’ll try to give a different answer, and I’m not afraid to say that *I* frequently fall under this stereotype at times. I’d say making the narrator cute innocent and clueless. No offense to anyone who does this of course, I love seeing that stuff! But I would say it seems a little bit OOC. He’s selfish, and at times sadistic. This guy would OBLITERATE Stanley at any moment just for funsies because he know it has no consequences. As much as I draw it, I don’t think he would be completely lovey dovey towards Stanley. Sure they need each other and everything, but people are forgetting to add that tension. The constant back and forth, like a strained marriage. I want nothing more than for them to be cute together and all but it would take a LOT for them to get there. And going along the lines of “they’re in a time loop forever” they might fall in and out of that kind of relationship. I miss seeing more character in the narrator besides “silly little tsundere who doesn’t know what romance is.” I’ve been thinking about tweaking my narrator design to characterize him more as well, but that’s a whole other rant lol. Probably weren’t expecting this from the cute narrator guy huh /silly
#I literally adore this game and it’s writing#It’s a masterpiece in my opinion#Especially the characterization of the narrator through his lines.#Speaking of which I’d say everyone makes Stanley’s personality entirely stubborn and sarcastic#while he *really* is just some guy.#If we’re taking Kevan’s tweets somewhat-seriously#Stanley’s quite naive and clumsy#DEFINITELY not as cool and sexy as yall are making him out to be#BUT I LOVE EVERYONES INTERPRETATIONS AND I GO CRAZY OVER THEM ALL OF THE TIME IF YOURE READING THIS AND FALL UNDER ANYTHING I WAS SAYING#PLEASE DONT CHANGE AT ALL I LOVE YOU#thinketys#Tsp
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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thinking abt my universe's school system and deciding to draw them working on an essay
#tzu rambles#losers. get schoolwork. idiots.#okay technically sevyn avoided all that because he literally just knows basic math and how to read+write siccan. he's NEVER done an essay b#(he can read silven ofc but he doesn't usually write it)#and winter+avery wouldve learned a similar amount and then had the choice to go further#which avery did if you even care#but i dont think she hated it. shes the kinda girl who wouldve been chill doing an essay#winter is probably educated on history and science a bit as well. so they both likely did essays#scarlet thistle cash ezra and ibis went to a public school#so itd make sense that theyd have worked on an essay once#koya went to a private school and freyja was privately tutored#i doubt freyja's ever done a genuine essay#this is so random i just want to put them thru school hell bc im in school and my stomach hurts and my throats still sore#koya also definitely got bad grades oops#he's a history kid at heart i think#yoddenlir
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Ok game time which 3 series would you just DIE to get a run on ? I'm talking full creative control, can be as a writer or an artist + plotter if that suits your vibe best
My 3 are
Suicide Squad
Wonder Woman
Green Lantern Corps/Green Lanterns
(in that order)
#last one may wiggle around but i think thats mostly it. others i would want to do but if were talking full runs then this would be my picks#there are other things id ofc want to do though. a wonder girl (cassie) mini in addition to the ww run probably some superman stuff too#although idk him as well i do love him. maybe a mini there or even a prestige format book if i go crazy#would love to do a quick something with cass cain too ofc (me and the rest of this site lol). could probably figure out a plot to smth#longer if i thought abt it but would love to guest write a standalone issue or two for an ongoing of hers#what else would i want to do.... the sui sq and wondy are rlly the big ones bc ive thought abt that the most. glc ive thought about too but#to a bit less of an extent. ooh there was that bleez mini i plotted out during lunch once last year. think i had some sketches laying around#for that too.#who else would i do.... those are rlly the main ones atm. books i would write vs books i would read are definitely different though. there#are some pitches i would throw out but wouldnt know how to write at all i just know it could be done good somehow. like ik nothing abt#aquaman but i think its possible a wonder woman/aquaman story could slap#OR NO A WONDER WOMAN & SUPERMAN ONE I WAS JUST TALKING ABT THAT. dont call it that though ofc they should get a duo name in the same vein as#world's finest. and ofc 72848274 issues of bro time. anyways <33333333#also a not abt the rankings sui sq is higher than wondy which may seem crazy from a wondy blogger but 1. i do love them and 2. they need me#so much more. this subject is such an egofest for me bc ofc i think i could do everything perfect but like they need a good run soooooo bad#whereas id LOVE to do wondy but ik they would survive without me. anyways yeah <3#anyways on a totally unrelated not at all adjacent topic.... my askbox is always open btw 😘#also idk if my green lantern corps book would be called glc. may just hit the green lanterns vol. 2 bc who is stopping me really
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so I've been working on my latest conlang, irkan osla (or just osla for short), for a bit now and would like to showcase its writing system in this post! osla has a syllabic alphabet, not too dissimilar to korean hangul, where letters are stacked according to certain rules to make syllable blocks.
osla's syllable structure is (C)(C)V(V)(C), here's how the stacks work for each type of syllable:
all letters have small, wide, and tall forms depending on their position in the syllable. here are all the letters with their IPA value and romanization:
and here's an example text! i translated parts of the minecraft end poem into osla. maybe i'll make another post just focusing on the grammar when it's more developed. the poem says in english:
What did this player dream? This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter.
Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind? Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes.
this post is getting long, so under the cut you'll find a "sans-serif" version as well as the poem in osla and its gloss if you're also a linguistics nerd and wanna know what's going on under the hood (the roman numerals stand for the 3 noun classes)! thanks for reading!
The way regular people would write something quickly on a piece of paper with a regular pen is an aspect of creating neographies that I feel is often overlooked, so I developed this sans-serif version that people would probably be more likely to use when writing their shopping lists or diary entries:
And, finally, here's the poem translation:
pak oṇḍul phan wimbakis?
DET.I.SG.PROX play-AGN what dream-PST.3SG.I?
pak oṇḍul lümaṇiuṣerothi han buloni an wimbakis. kaṣkhaothi han nilothi an. wimbakis, run sëmamkis. wimbakis, run xokthakis, han bumxokthakis. zöga an wimbakis.
DET.I.SG.PROX play-AGN sunlight-II.SG.DAT and tree-II.PL.DAT of dream-PST.3SG.I. Fire-II.SG.DAT and water-II.SG.DAT of. dream-PST.3SG.I, that create-PST.3SG.I. dream-PST.3SG.I, that hunt-PST.3SG.I, and PASS-hunt-PST.3SG.I. shelter of dream-PST.3SG.I.
ṭauraka, run kaak samare? run glutsüna flia?
know-NP.3SG.I, that 3SG.I.ABS love-NP.1PL? that universe kind?
imba ethamo, khaṣiŋli an ka’am hu’aŋni pitë, glutsüna ṣaraka, ti.
some time-NOM.III.PL, noise-ACC.II.SG of 3SG.I.GEN thought-NOM.III.PL through, universe hear-NP.3SG.I, yes.
#i hope the quality of the images isnt too unbearable :')#if you wanna write something with this script go for it and tag me!! but pls dont take it for your own projects and all that#i actually didnt notice its similarity to hangul until after i was done lol#id actually developed a completely different alphabet first but thought it was too boring#and like ngl i am literally so happy with how this came out lmao its so pretty and fun to write#definitely my 2nd if not most fave writing system ive ever developed for my clongs#(also btw technically not all small versions of consonants would actually be used#only those that appear in clusters. but i put them there anyways#like theoretically you could forgo all the wide and tall letters and block structure and just write the small letters in a line#like a more traditional alphabet. but this is more fun)#also hi if david peterson reads this i will literally die thx ily#i just realized universe in the last sentence is supposed to be accusative fml!!!!!!!!!!! always gotta doublecheck my cases man ah man whyy#conlang#conlangs#my conlangs#irkan osla#neography#conscript
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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Like OK so I've been reading a fic with trans wolfwood in it that is so. HONEST. About how it affected him and still affects him. In a way that's very much not an average cis writer portrayal of a trans character.
Like. Either this writer is trans or did plenty of research, but it just feels REAL to me. And it has me thinking about my own way of writing trans Wolfwood.
I'm not there yet. But I've been thinking about it. The ways that what the EOM did fucked him up... but it also acted as HRT that affirmed his gender. So what do you do when you're in a body you don't recognize, but looks much more like a man than ever before? There's some gender euphoria in a way, but dysphoria at the same time bc you didn't grow into this. You didn't watch yourself transition. Suddenly you just Were this, and it's not you, but also it's nice to finally be seen as a man, but it also feels wrong to feel grateful for any part of what they did to you...
On and on and on
You see? This is what I want to think about with him. This is why trans Wolfwood is so compelling to me. It's just so Complicated, he'd have such Complicated feelings about his body and the way he lives with it. He learns this new body, it starts to feel more like his, but he also mourns the fact that he didn't get to watch it grow into this like he should've.
That kind of thing.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#tagging it bc these r things relevant to itnl ww. because. he is trans☺️#TRANS WOLFWOOD MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!#i wanna do more research into trans things. ive already done a lot. but like#into the actual physical side of it all. the effects of HRT. all those messy little details that people dont often focus on.#some months ago i skimmed thru this writing guide on how to write trans men. and i think i wanna revisit it#read it more slowly and thoroughly.#bc im confident in my ability to write trans characters. considering the fact that im not cis myself.#but im not a trans man. so there r some Things that i just dont know about by virtue of not having experience with HRT#so. research! supplementing my existing knowledge with the perspectives of the actual people im writing about.#and so it goes when ur writing about an experience that is not entirely your own.#it matters to me to make my writing of trans men as realistic as possible.#even with the messy details that people normally shy away from. Especially them.#i pride myself on my realism as much as is within my means of capturing it.#realistic emotions. realistic reactions. realistic bodies.#i am Going to write a trans wolfwood that is So realistic. as much as possible.#(i keep specifying ww with this even tho vash is trans also just bc vash is a bit more uhhhh not human lol#so the definition of what makes him trans is a bit more loose. still inferred by real life experiences#but he wouldnt have the same sorts of experiences with HRT. or gender expression in general#so i feel less of a pressure to capture it as fully accurate to the real life human experience as possible. if that makes sense.)
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sooo i decided to give it a try at countryhumans/humanization of pp countries
(I hope i did that right) (definitly somewhat inspired by kajenus (i am not immune to propaganda hjhgjjh))
also some silly sketches and a lil explanation for em:
so arstotzka kinda can fly, its just never in a way he wants/expects
when he gets angry, he gets more similar to a bird (maybe not that cartoonish, more similar to an actual bird he's based on)
(this kinda connects to my bigger idea for them, but for now im not so conviced/have any strong ideas for these 2 with it)
kolechia used to have a braid, but doesnt now for reasons. the cut isn't clean
also some altrenative outfits/just wanted to draw them again
tw for blood
#papers please#tw blood under the read more#im doing this#cause i was listening to some stuff#and thought abt putting arstotzka through an angst tumbler#with kolechia in there too#tho idk how quick i will be at it june seems stacked#not tagging plp cause i dont want to bother or somthin#also drawing expressions my hated#definitely did not spend way more then reasonable redrawing them#nuh uh#anyway back to writing#also starting a new tag cause hfdhifdf ->#art that should definitely not be on this blog cause u already have an art blog u insecure
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Hey bnd stans, if you're ever reading boynextdoor fanfiction and come across @wonsungno please run away. They've stolen lots of works from another actual author yet they don't see the problem with it?? Idek man this person is veryyyyy delusional.
#yuvie 💌 !#i love that when im not talking about my ults im alerting other fandoms about plagiarizers#did i spell that right??#oh and i think she was the one that sent that anon message to me#but then again idk#NO BUT THE TEA IS SO HOT I DEFINITELY SUGGEST READING WHAT HAPPEN#shes so embarrassing 😭😭#anyways this might be a good time to say BUT IM BECOMING A ONEDOOR WOOHOO#i wont write for them unfortunately (they dont have the *chemistry*)#but i do enjoy reading about them ☺️#my bias.... is like taesan and sungho#but like.. only in certain eras#they dont captivate me the *entire* time like my ults#which makes me sad#but its wtv#also *cough cough* the era i was talking about was ew&f#SPEAKING OF WHICH I WENT TO THE INTERNATIONAL MARKET AND THEY WERE PLAYING THE MV#AND THEY PLAYED TALK SAXY#I HAD TO HOLD BACK MY SCREAMS BECAUSE LORDDDDDDDD#anyways im supposed to be sleeping rn hehe#typing sideways is so hard#anyways gn mwah bye#dont copy others!! be original!!!!!!!!!#and if yall ever see someone coping me PLEASE let me know#anyways gn mwah bye x2
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hmm thinking about the idea of love songs. i think the idea of what a love song is that we have in our culture is inherently a little bit flawed because we have the idea that any song written about romantic feelings is a love song and im thinking thats not exactly true because there is a difference between "romance" and "love". what i'm saying is not that love is a broader category and applies to things that are not romantic in nature. this is in fact true, but it's not what makes the important distinction here. the true distinction between "romance" and "love" is that romance is a societally defined type of interest in another person, whereas love is, essentially, a promise that you make when you build a relationship.
as such, what i call "love" here might be better defined as "care", as that implies more time and effort, but that's a different suitcase to unpack and largely unimportant to my point here, which is more about the societal conventions of what we call love songs. the point is, relationships can be built with other people, yes, but also animals, places, organizations, ideas, so on and so on, whereas romance requires another person, hence the difference between the ideas of "romance" and "love".
with that in mind, there are two types of songs we in western, english speaking, society call "love songs":
1) songs that are about a person's romantic interest in someone that is either definitively known to be unrequited (existing monogamous relationship, sexuality that doesn't align, etc) or simply not requited (aka romantic interest being unknown); and
2) songs about an existing relationship (keeping in mind my points about relationships not just being with people, but also places, things, etcetera) as is.
(some examples of the latter category: mountaintop by relient k, which defines the relationship in question as non-romantic; or i miss my mum by cavetown, which is - as the title implies - a song about the singer missing their mother.)
now, the thing that makes distinguishing these two difficult is the fact that songs about an existing relationship CAN be about wanting certain aspects of that relationship to change. in these cases, determining that a song is one or the other will hinge either on a) authorial intent or b) whether the song is more about what the singer wants (thereby implying #1) or the lack thereof in that relationship (which would imply #2).
to get back to the subject at hand: the term "love song", as we think of it, is an umbrella term that include both of these two categories, and i think that perhaps it is reductive to do so. with that in mind, i think perhaps it would be more appropriate for "love song" to mean only the latter, whereas the former is a category of its own. WHICH is not to say that the two can't overlap — just that if a song is about a person with whom the singer has no relationship, it cannot be considered a love song due to the fact that it is a song about infatuation, not love.
(another interesting wrinkle this provides is the fact that a song might start out in the first category and, as the writer develops a relationship with a person, might move into the second category as they write more.)
#anyway. just some of my thoughts on this as an aromantic songwriter#ari opinion hour#this goes a good deal to reconcile my constant writing of love songs with the fact that none of them are romantic#which im fine with as long as im keeping them to myself but it DOES feel dishonest when i hide that theyre love songs.#however this did also go some way to convince me that maybe care songs is an alternative that i SHOULD use because it is more applicable to#me than the concept of love which MOST people do not have the same perspective on as i do and having different definitions of the same word#is an important barrier to consider in communication#i will admit i do think im clinging to my care songs being love songs due to my relationship with an organization to which love is very#important as i dont want to go back on my promises to that organization as it IS very important to me#anyway. can you tell ive been reading house of leaves by the fact that this appeared fully fledged in my head in fully academic language#but for real like thinking about it now and even my old love songs like most would probably think to see them that they would go in the#first category and they just. DO NOT. at least not the ones that were written after i was like Yeah im aro again#its interesting the ones i wrote in the brief period where i thought i WASNT aro in like mid hs those i WOULD put in the first category#even though like i do NOT think i was right about it being romantic#but the ones after i was like Yea im aro again are like. Thats definitely the latter#part of it is i did find a voice that was like genuinely Mine and wasnt just writing sort of generic love songs#love songs in the typical usage i mean so they were really more infatuation songs#but like i was still with the last person irl who i wrote these about divorced from like... my aroness because of how much i liked him#and i would still put those in the second category#so part of it is awareness as well#so. yeah. its interesting#i probably should just suck it up and start calling them care songs. even if people dont know what i mean to say that
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obsessed with their different reactions to being called starcrossed lovers
#im gonna pretend mattie didnt die and visits them sometimes back in toronto#it's such a cute dynamic they have#the two evil (affectionate) sisters who just loving teasing laura#also one of my favourite things abt this show is the choreographing they do for the static camera#i bet it's so annoying to have to think about but i love watching them all move so coordinatedly through the frame#somehow still making it look natural#also i know laura is the storyteller one and i dont really know enough abt romanticism to make any definitive claims abt carmilla#but having scrolled her blog a bit to figure out her tastes in music and art#i wonder if theres a part of carmilla that kind of enjoys being starcrossed. or doomed in a sense#or maybe she that she wouldnt have CHOSEN this story necessarily but that she has resigned herself to it#on account of her vampire nature#and sees a certain beauty in it#that all her romances are doomed#idk. im still figuring her out#also im reinterpreting that exchange mattie and carmilla have in this scene#carmilla calls mattie a utilitarian which is probably right#mattie then callls her a nihilist and carmilla corrects that to existentialist#and mattie says absurdist at best#but those arent designations like back and forth as i had read it before#it's just carmillas philosophy theyre arguing about. i THINK. or maybe it's both of them#putting a pin in that until ive read more books#also kind of obsessed with how laura and danny and maybe the other humans are so quick to ascribe a morality to the vampires#based just on the 'shes a vampire!!' while obviously by necessity the vampires have spent wayyyyyyyyyy more time thinking abt their ethics#or maybe not by necessity for all of them but to mattie and carmilla it definitely seems like a necessity. or inevitability#they mustve spent countless hours over the centuries talking abt this if they can joke abt it in this way now#and in different states too like i can imagine distraught Im A Monster type conversations but also just sort of academic debates and also#carmilla reading some new book that has come out and mattie being like what newfangled thing are you into now#i guess utilitarianism was also newfangled at some point. theyre both older. but you know#carmilla is a poet. dont know if she writes poetry but she looks at things in a poet's way i think#also dont think shes entirely a romantic but i do think some of her tastes lean more toward the romantic
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Rereading Percy Jackson and I'm sorry I have definitely not changed from ten years ago, Percico is still THE ship for me
#pjo#my posts#i like annabeth dont get ms wrong#but percy and nico?? on another level#i remember all the things i said about them ten years ago and you know what#i was right#all the fics about them i wrote years and years and years ago??? still valid#do i feel the need to write and read fics about them again? definitely#btw nico in particular still is and always will be one of my favorite characters EVER#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#percico
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