#i dont often make longer posts like these
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So people are actually angry/surprised at this response from Jekyll:
But this reaction seems pretty natural to me? There's no good reason why Jekyll should have noticed the things that we, as reader, did notice.
We have seen Lanyon act worried over Jekyll. Most of those moments were not in front of Jekyll himself. Hyde has witnessed Lanyon worrying over him (and by "him" I mean Jekyll by extend), but Jekyll was checking out at the time. He was spending the bigger part of that chapter figuring out what was going on in his brain.
And Hyde wasn't exactly on speaking terms with his alter ego, so to speak.
The only moment where Lanyon showed signs of concern towards Jekyll is in chapter 3, during and right after they saw the play about Frankenstein.
Jekyll even points out the Lanyon comes across as worried. It's not that he never noticed; it's that Lanyon has always deflected any comment about genuine feelings, as shown on the next page:
This is how they've been interacting for years.They both know that there's unspoken feelings between them, but they've taught themselves that it's easier to just leave them....unspoken.
Lanyon even tells Jekyll to tell him when he's "in too deep", but they both know very well that those words are empty, despite the sincere meaning.
Their relationship is just one big complicated heap of unspoken feelings and misunderstandings. A complexity I absolutely love to dissect, because you can tell that they both want to be open to the other so badly.
#ohh im gonna make another post after this one bc i noticed a fun parallel#the glass scientists#tgs#also i love this ship so much that's no joke#i think they're both incredibly interesting characters to put under a magnifying glass#i was onto this ship since i read the god damn novel#ok they're pretty much totally different characters but shh#i dont often make longer posts like these#also i love lanyon come fight me (dont actually fight me)
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puts bocchi under ur pillow
What's that I see?
My, my. How did such a cute little thing get in here?
#I'll take good care of her~#*ahem*#the stuff in caps is from me earlier when i first had the idea#she wanted that to be the text but didnt think i might want to.. talk about the drawing process. thats why this awkward transition is here#anyway.. when drawing characters simply i like to draw them like little miis or perhaps teru teru bōzu#thats why her skirt is longer and why she doesnt have arms#also.. i dont use colored pencils often. and while i do have quite a few this is the closest i could get to the Bocchi the Hot! Pink#(or should it be Bocchi the Hot Pink! ?)#anyway.. i also only wanted to use the Bocchi the Hot! Pink and her blue and yellow.. so no brown for her shoes.#to make the pink more striking#anyway i said i dont use colored pencils often.. you can tell. i made a mistake boldening the line work before colouring..#cus the pink mixed with the lead more than it would have otherwise.. making it darker#o well#also.. i added a little colour around the clover as a oneshot reference. pink yellow and cyan where the red green and blue are normally#its meant to be subtle#unfortunately it mixed with the lead too so it looks more sloppy than anything#anyway um#my art#communication#my actual posts lol#bocchi the rock!#bocchi#bocchi the rock#bocchi fanart#hitori gotou#i think this ask was meant to bug me to watch bocchi#its working in a roundabout way#also.. u can see my niko oneshot plush and focks *cough* i mean fox tunic plush in the background of the first image
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Having of those moments where I wish to yeet the like button into the sun or maybe make it so there was setting you could turn on so that people can only reblog posts (even better with the minimum requirement of adding at least one tag)!!
It's kind of absurd that one of my fics is getting close to 500 notes while simultaneously being one I've had the least actual human interactions come from. Like...... come on, that's now how it should be AT ALL!
Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled people are clearly finding it and I guess enjoying it(??) but just having endless likes without people letting me know what they enjoyed about it or even if they liked it kind of makes me sad. That's not why I want to share my writing here!
I love having those little human connections with others. I don't ever want my writing to feel transactional. I would love to talk to more people about things I've written. It's truly one of the best feelings and I would hate to lose that, the more I write or the more notes my fics get. Please don't be shy!! I get the social anxiety, but there is no reason to be. I am truly just a Din Djarin obsessed loser.
Anyway, whine over. I don't want to focus on the negatives here and I appreciate every single person who has ever left a positive interaction with something I've written. You are truly a light!
#i don't JUST like posts too often#really the only posts i dont reblog but like are to save for later or if it's too personal/explicit#or i guess i have nothing to add and OP has said it all yknow#but if i see some writing or art i love then hell yeah i always force myself to add at least one tag i like just so the artist/author sees#otherwise it feels like a hollow transaction and i really want people to know i appreciate their art more than just pressing a button yknow#and I KNOW it's intimidating at first to interact with others!! TRUST ME i get it and i'm still awful at it#but just one little comment can make someone feel so good about their writing... why wouldn't someone want to try that at least#especially if you enjoyed it!!! even a key smash or a string of emojis!!!#and the death of the tumblr tag is SO SAD because where else am i meant to talk to you lot?#i mean these tags are longer than my actual post and that's the beauty of tumblr#you don't have to perceive me down here but you can if you wish and i love you for that!#and it's a nice way to organise your blog to make it navigable for others#ANYWAY said i was done whining and continued whining down here so there's that LOL but i always want to interact with more people#please do not be afraid of reaching out to me! scroll through my blog for 5 seconds and you'll see what a nerdy loser i am#akdjgds i mean aren't we all here#spud rants#writing#but thanks again to anyone who leaves nice comments im giving you a (consensual) forehead smooch MWAH
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I hate when my phone won't let me have 2 audio sources running at the same time (depending on the app). I know what I'm doing, let me hear the discordant noises. My brain has built-in audio separation for music. It came as compensation for auditory processing issues. Don't make me pause the music.
#i also go absolutely fucking feral when my phone lowers the audio to play a notification sound#I CAN SEPARATE THE AUDIO. I CANT UNDERSTAND THE VIDEO IM WATCHING IF THE VOLUME SUDDENLY GOES TO ...#... 1% TO PLAY MY NOTIFICATION SOUND#wish i could turn that off more than the 2 audio sources one but i already tried researching how and its not possible with my means#i want to hear the notification sound but not at the cost of understanding what was just said on a video#especially if my hands are covered in paint and i cant rewind it#like i said. audio processing. often cant understand whats said under normal circumstances#suddenly lowering the volume makes it worse than having the notif and video play simultaneously#same with music and a video going. i dont wanna stop the vibe to play a video/short video/moment of video to bookmark the link#its not a phone ability issue bc i can play music while my battery-draining phone game plays!!#((usually dont tho bc i like the game music but if im playing while walking i need other music on even if its discordant))#((sometimes its not discordant which is fun))#oh correction before i post: i can usually understand whats said by understanding the other words spoken and mentally filling in the blanks#...for the words i missed. but when the audio goes to like 1% for a full like 5 seconds i miss an entire convo worth of audio#...on top of being pissed ab the audio being lowered for something easily filtered like a little 1 second chime#its hard enough to focus on what words people are speaking even face to face in person#im tired idk where im going w this now#ShitPost.exe#Cori.exe#seriously tho i love putting a song on repeat for hours and doing whatever. if i pause it its like. idk#in the middle of a shower. ur phone holds u at gunpoint to step out and take a shot of ketchup while u still got soap in ur eyes#then once u shoot the ketchup u can go back to showering and ur phone loses its ability to hold u at gunpoint.#like. i may not historically be opposed to a shot of ketchup for the meemz...#...but i dont want my shower interrupted at gunpoint by my phone to make me shoot ketchup...#...and then have to finish the shower with the taste of ketchup still lingering.#im tired i promise im not high thats just the best analogy for how wrong it feels to have to stop the music vibe thats been going for hours#man these tags went on longer than the post deserved and now im too tired to read what i wanted lmao#prob doesn't even make sense goOD NIGHT#delete later / /#((future cori can be the judge of that present cori is too tire))
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I don't think anyone here keeps up with me on Twitter but on the off chance I am currently taking a break. Literally 3 days away from Twitter and I'm already doing better wtf. I feel kinda bad for leaving with no warning but holy shit I am free
#did something happen?#short anwser yes and no#I dont feel like giving context because honesty that shouldn't have made my mental health dip like it did#so yeah i needed away#my goal is to stay away for 2 weeks#but ngl if I follow through with that I might just go longer#that site is not good for me and every so often#i have moments of clarity like now and realize it#I might make a switch post just to say I'm on break so i can get it out without opening the damn app#not an art post
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WAUGH. My desktop theme doesn't allow you to view alt text while you're on my blog. I use the free theme 'Lilac' so anyone else using that theme might have the same problem. Does anyone know how to fix it or do I just need to find a new theme?
aksdjfha;lksdnv you can still read the alt text if you right click the alt text box then hit 'Inspect Accessibility Properties' then select the row titled 'image' right under the preselected 'generic' then under the 'properties' dropdown you can see that the 'name' row is the entered alt text except the box doesn't scroll so you can open a notepad and click and drag it in and it'll grab all the text then you can finally read the full alt text from your notepad
[Image ID: A screenshot showing how I can check the alt text for one of my art posts. The original alt text was very long so the full thing cannot be displayed even when stretched across two computer monitors. /End ID.]
SGKJVN TWO MONITORS ISN'T ENOUGH FOR LONG DESCRIPTIONS
I don't think this is what anyone was referring to when they said to keep your alt text short and your image descriptions (in the body of the post) more detailed. Certainly is more reason to follow that rule though.
Well anyways. For now I have changed my blog back to the default theme
#talking tag#waaaaaaa i dont wanna put descriptions in the body because it takes up space and makes it harder to scroll through my art tag really fast#which is a thing i do often#but like tbh its not really THAT much of a problem#sigh sometimes i miss ifunny because the way their posts work is you scroll left and right to change posts and then if the post is longer#than your screen you can scroll down to read the rest of it#and your profile had image previews in a grid like instagram#it used to have such a nice UI but i havent actually used it in like 10 years so i don't kn#I JUST CHECKED AND IT LOOKS LIKE FUCKING TWITTER DEATH TO ALL I AM KILLING WHOEVER DID THIS MYSELF
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okay :)
i had gotten a dog, so the dog was a factor. dogs have to be the right size and shape. under 50 pounds. please see our restricted breeds list. he sleeps most of the time, a well-behaved menace. he's big because i'm single in the city and it gets dark here early - but i've had to trade that sense of safety for scrambling-for-housing.
cheerfully i report that i live in a hole! because humor, like vicks, soothes what-is-horrible. the windows are painted shut. the fridge sometimes just shuts off for no reason. there are only 2 working stove burners and they're not in the front. for some reason, rust is everywhere, no matter whether it makes sense for an area to rust. the door in the bathroom has a very badly-patched hole; white-yellow stark against the bad cherry vinyl.
okay. it's what i can afford. the pamphlet had said new england nepenthes(TM) apartments: a beautiful place to grow up. and yes, it's ground-floor, which isn't ideal. so we (my dog and i) have successfully secured the door with one of those big prybars that are 50 dollars. also i usually balance something heavy near any possible entrances - i want to be awake when they fall. you know, during the break-in.
for the first four months, i didn't notice. there had been so much to do in those four months. okay, our (okay, my, he doesn't pay rent) kitchen is literally four tiles wide and undivided from the other spaces. the dining room and office are also the living room (which is. also the kitchen). my bed is too big for the bedroom; i can either have it weirdly against the wall with a door (horrible) or i have to give up opening my closet all the way.
my mama raised me on martha stewart, so. it's quiet here, i love the location, and even if it's rundown, i can make it work. i buy peel-and-stick reusable wallpaper that has long lines to make it look like everything is taller. i move the plants around, trying to get them into the most sun. i put up shelves and hope that i'll have enough spackle later to cover up the worst mistakes i've made with the nail gun. and hey! the location. like the pamphlet said: a beautiful place to grow up.
it's in the middle of putting up our new wrought iron plant holders. i have adhd, time when i'm focused can pass ephemerally. oh shit, i realize. it's 9:30 in the evening. i am probably keeping people awake with all the drilling. fuck. my bad. i tilt an ear upstairs, waiting. nobody slamming the floor with a broom. nobody shouting. maybe quiet hours are at 10 and they're just waiting.
the holders are real wrought iron because my plants weigh a lot. i press the last one above my head, against the pilot holes. now i feel bad about the time. i should just wrap up this last one i'm attaching and then go to bed. if i wait, i'll forget in the morning. distracted, i look down to where i've left the screws on my desk (which is often also my dining room table and art station), and, as if the wall spat the screws out, the iron slips out of my grasp and cracks me hard against my nose before tumbling down to the floor.
fuck.
one of the worst things about living alone is when you get hurt. sparks jump in front of me. my eyes start tearing. fuck! i've broken my nose before, this feels like that. fuck fuck fuck. maybe it's not broken?
i have to hobble off the stool, trying to hold my nose while also not wanting to touch it. i do the first adult thing i can think of - call a bigger adult.
hey mama. i pant into the phone. no worries but how do i know if i broke my nose?
30 minutes later, we have decided it hurt but if i don't have a black eye, the nose is fine. it was already out of alignment anyway. i say the whole sordid story to her, and then i add i just feel bad i lost track of time, it's weird none of my neighbors complained.
as soon as i hang up, i hear the upstairs neighbors, with their quiet feet and soft, muffled voices. i hear people to the right and left of me. i hear them murmuring to each other. someone watches bad tv, i can hear the reality show music-to-dramatic-shouting.
i put ice on my face. i google nose break again just to be sure. i ask my dog if he thinks i look ugly, he responds by putting his three paws into the air and asking for a tummy rub. as part of our nightly ritual, i examine and worry about his amputation, even though it's completely healed up. i still do the physical therapy exercises with him. just in case. just to keep him warmed up.
later in bed, i am reaching to turn on gentle rain for white noise before i realize - huh. i think this evening is the first time i've ever actually heard anyone.
you ever have a thought that gets inside of you? i mean, yeah. of course you do, i guess all thoughts are inside you. but once in a while, don't you get one of those haha funny! thoughts that turns. bad. you know, when you've watched a scary movie and close the laptop and think it's not likely there's a killer in there, but have i ever really checked that deeply in the kitchen sink?
i was always the type to check. just in case. to put my mind at ease.
the thought is there when i wake up, like i'd had it for a while: i never actually see anyone coming and going.
the apartment complex is 12 buildings, staggered like spokes on a clock. i live in 6, the furthest from the road. we are spaced unevenly, but when i first saw it, i thought huh. what a nice quiet community. the grass is green and there are never any leaves. i've never seen someone come mow it. there are cars here, plenty. when was the last time you counted which cars are in the communal lot?
isn't it weird how you're always able to snag that one last spot?
i keep weird hours, is all. i laugh at the thought of it. there was a post on tumblr once that asked how long would it take you to realize the building was entirely empty. but it can't be empty, right? at night, when i can see into other people's apartments, i catch sight of the thousand ways other people decorate. blue LED lights or tapestries or nice curtains. so it is silly to think about that post, when i know other people are here. this is someone else's home.
i mention it to my sister when she comes over to help me move the couch purposelessly around before we both decide it was better where i'd originally had it. nobody, like, lives here. i say. it's weird. i've been here for five months, and i don't see anyone.
she shrugs. maybe it's too expensive for the area, or not really advertised enough. maybe most people my age keeping my hours don't like to live in apartments. who is to say.
after that, the shadows start. my dog and i go on our nighttime walk, and then i see the apartments come to life. the flickered silhouettes of them. the flash of tvs and laptops. the gauzy shape of others just-far-enough i can't quite make out their form. they walk away from the windows if i get close enough.
they must not know how to do it right. every third day, the animations repeat.
oh, i get it. i think. i'm living in a horror novel.
i'm cuban. my culture can be superstitious, yes. but it also means that i have been taught to keep my head on a swivel. we do not fuck with this shit. we do not oujia board the spirits for fun. we do not make a joke about the killer. we do not ever tempt fate, her ears are open-and-listening.
my lease is for one year. it's been five months, that's not that much longer. i can't afford to break it (or to move) at the moment. and, again, the dog factor. and i do love the location.
but once it is obvious, it is so obvious. i try to pay my rent by check just the once, but when i swing by the rental office, the whole floor of the building is dark. there is no cheerful team of realtors, only a single dark panel over door. due to unexpected circumstances, we are currently operating elsewhere. i go online and pay there instead.
no one here hosts parties. the mail truck never seems to come to any of the other buildings. my dog doesn't like going near certain places. i discover a 5-foot radius where my phone will always hang up on the person i'm talking with, even if i have service.
i watch carefully, while also pretending i am not watching. i check my mail, waiting for the electricity bill that never comes calling. in the front hall, amazon packages come with names too smudged for me to ever quite read. sanchez, maybe. then, to the same apartment a week later: tawny reed. it's different again the third week. i stop looking, feeling like i'm prying.
i mention how quiet it is here during the day to one of my bosses, and then the upstairs neighbor appears. her alarm goes off when mine does, almost like an echo. when i change my song, it takes her a few days to keep up. i had said something offhand about how i'm the only one with a dog. then, upstairs - the little patter of dog paws.
at night, i start seeing people on my dog walking route. they pace, insubstantial, something black at the end of their lead. their waving arms always bent at right angles, like they are figuring out how to navigate being 3D. i always wave back, cheerfully. i keep my headphones in. they are over there in the mist that-does-not-belong, and i am over here in the light-that-flickers-on-and-off. i do not need to make a scene about this. there are many reasons people might dissolve into nothing. it is not any of my business.
the upstairs girl smokes. i see her with her (pomeranian? poodle?) little rat-rabbit-dog (? dog in the loosest sense of the word), her legs up on the stoop. she always goes inside when i show up to our building, after giving me one of those straight side-to-side waves. i can never quite make out her features. she won't be there when i leave for our walk, but she'll be there when we get back, no matter how long my walk takes. she watching me, her eyes dark. she sits there, smoking, wearing galaxy-print leggings. the little dog running near her. (sometimes the dog is not there, until i look again, and it is. i must have just missed it, or maybe it was hiding under one of the trim little bushes. not my concern, whatever it is.)
i know she smokes, i can see the red glow and smell it on the air after. but there are no places to dispose of the butts and she never leaves behind any litter. so she must be careful with them, which i appreciate. cigarettes are bad for the environment. i am in no place to judge someone for their vices anyway. during the day, sometimes i hear her dog (a corgi? a terrier?) whine, this thin, reedy sound, like someone gasping for breath. like someone buried alive. a howl like dread. sometimes it even sounds human; garbled and anxious, bow wow wow warping into help help help.
but i'm sure my dog whines when i'm gone, too. i will not report her for this, because it's not her fault. and i don't want to get her in trouble. after all, we all love our dogs so much.
when i write a request for maintenance to help me with ants, i get a bounce-back error. three days later, we wake up, and a sea of dead ant bodies litter my carpet. an inch deep, they float on each other's backs, a black blanket.
i vacuum them up. i feel bad about their little ant souls. i tell them i am sorry. i will light a candle. i tell myself - this is no different than calling an exterminator. to remove yourself from the process is an act of careful self-duplicity - we would have been killing the ants another way, and just anticipating someone else handle the transaction.
how do i call someone about this? i cannot break the lease because i think the others here are ghosts. or my other theory: maybe the whole thing is a carnivore, and i am in the belly, already beginning to rot.
we cannot afford to move, it's only been six months. the heat and the lights stay on. i never invite others over. it feels wrong. we are alone here, the way we should be alone here. this is our place, for me and my dog and the rest of us. we are supposed to be here. we are supposed to live here, in this little hole-in-the-ground apartment.
we are not under any form of threat, anyway. i light candles and say the prayers our father taught us. we keep our distance from the mist ones, and adopt their way of waving, side-to-side. it is starting to look less like a wave and more like beckoning. come on, come on. something keeps us locking our door. we put up more wrought iron, even after it hit us so hard-on-the-face, which wasn't fun, and was very mean. maybe we should take it down - except i know it was so much effort to put up. oh the tub leaks and the freezer has begin to lock while it's shut. our boss says we look pale these days. we blame insomnia. it's just that it's so quiet here, sometimes. we like to make ourselves go very-quiet too, like a mouse. and then we turn that horrible white-noise machine on. we are so strange; we push salt down the drains and into our doorways, which is a waste and a bad thing to do. we do not look into the electricity problem. we fix the lightbulb without complaint. we do not send in new notices to maintenance, even when the rust on the walls starts running. we get fabulosa and scrub everything. we do not make a fuss. when our neighbors that have-no-jaw open the door for us, we keep our eyes on our dog and say thank you! and make polite small-talk. when they garble their responses let your welcome out, (no throat but the sound's so loud?)-we say haha yeah and scoot by the cold spot. we help others get their groceries out of the car even though the bags smell rotten. we do not use the basement laundry room with the single pale yellow lightbulb, even though it is so friendly and warm and free; we drive elsewhere for that, which might be lazy of me. whenever we leave, we take our dog, even though he would be fine alone, surrounded by the strange creep of rust. we are kind, and not frenzied. isn't that strange? shouldn't we be frenzied? there have been so many odd things here, shouldn't we be reacting? instead we sit in our apartment and say, casually - oh, i'm fine. how fun! how interesting. are we waiting for something? if we're waiting, which of us is hiding and which of us is hunting? we count our days on the lease - six months left! we can grow to enjoy it here. it has its quirks, but hey. sometimes staying for the location is reason-enough.
and we love it here. it's a beautiful place to grow up.
i've seen enough horror movies starring upper-middle-income white families stuck in spacious haunted mansions. gimme stories about millennials stuck in haunted studio apartments. consider the realism:
why is this protagonist staying in an obviously haunted building despite the glaring warning signs? because a week at a motel would send them spiraling into credit card debt, they'll take their chances with the vengeful spirits. why did they chose this apartment complex to begin with, despite the many many unexplained mysterious deaths that show up on the first page of a google search? hon some of us don't have the credit score to move away from high (paranormal) crime areas. how could i be so careless as to sign a soul-binding contract with a demonic entity? bitch they're called LANDLORDS
#this is so much longer than i meant it to be#but uhhhhhhhhh#low rent housing complexes as angler fish demons i guess#this one isn't gay im sorry#im sorry to my fans to my people and to the academy#i am reflecting on my choices and putting myself in Gay Jail in the meantime#posts that make you google the scientific name of pitcher plants#posts that require u to know some of the common ways of warding off malicious spirits#edit in the tags as this picks up speed: hi i love u all :) thank u for liking this piece#i love monsters that are not explicitly malicious - just hungry. i love when it isn't 2 people who are trying to outsmart each other#but instead - here is someone who thinks they can outlast the monster's hunger#(uses salt. wrought iron in the walls which gets spat out. candles. minding ya own business)#versus a monster that is VERY old and VERY good at waiting.#in the wild large predators dont need to feed as often as we see in horror movies#snakes and other swallow-whole apex predators DO get energy from the actual process of digestion#even if much slower than our own digestive cycle#..... so towards the end yes there's a pronoun shift#and there's also a conversation that's happening that i'm being very careful about#the narrator's choices which HURT the building's chance of devouring them are still first person#and/or are directly insulted in the italics#(why not use the beautiful extremely creepy laundry room it's free laundry come be eaten!!!!!)#bc . i didn't want to end this story with “then they die the end”#we leave this story at 6 months. the narrator is very smart . the narrator has lasted a long time. the narrator is doing better than most#but it is a very very very old building. and u have another 6 months there.#i don't know who wins. i don't want YOU to know who wins either#we (you & me) will leave them (the building & the tenant & the dog) there for now#i like to picture them moving out#but then i look at my rent check and the fact this is based on my real life current apartment#and i think.... what if the biggest hunting tool is just. that outside is capitalism. and there are plenty of us (u & me) in the tags sayin#''well they seem very polite. and if there's a good location & the rent is cheap...."
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deciding to write bellum in a context beyond and different from what he's shown in in ph is kinda. something. because there's not a whole lot to him and there seems to be an intense focus on having things be 'in character' so it creates the interesting dilemma of. what even is 'in character' for bellum in the first place and are the conclusions i draw about him based off the little bit we get in game things that can be considered 'in character' or w/e, or is (almost) anything fair game since i'm working off of a list of concepts and actions rather than an actual written character
#does this make sense? i have different hangups abt the different characters i write fanfic abt#salty talks#like im personally not too concerned with things being 'in character' bc like. ive enjoyed stuff being out of character#the biggest line i refuse ot cross is like. personal stuff and also when things are like. VERY not smth thye would do or go against arcs#like for me one of my (many lol) linebeck characterization pet peeves is when ppl write post-ph linebeck without considering his arc#like when they just write him post-ph acting the exact same way as he did we you meet him and like he has the same. idk. values?#thats a whole can of worms and i no longer care as much when i write linebeck bc i see him a specific way and so idc im having fun#bellum is just interesting bc unlike. most characters? there isnt a ton there but theres a lot to piece together and draw conclusions from#cuz ill think of fic stuff with bellum abd ill be like 'would he act like that?' and come agaisnt a wall#bc theres very little to compare and contrast with. at this point when i write bellum im kinda just writing an oc and its weird#cuz like ig my personal philosophy with like. keeping my aus as loz aus and not original things is that teh canon versions of these#characters and concepts and w/e are imporant to be considered and like. serve as backdrops? idk how to explain it#so like i dont just want to. write a bellum oc im tyring to write bellum and write from the little seed we get in canon idk what the#difference is but i feel like there is one. like with post ph stuff i dont try to break canon in big ways (or often) so ig with bellum#im trying to keep it so that (with post ph and ph centric writing specifically) it can slot in decently with the established stuff#like. ignoring tone rating all that. idk where im going with this im thinkin abt how i might write bellum and how weird it is
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verbality rant.
#never know if okay to label semiverbal.#can talk ‘’’’normal’’’’ lot. but all take effort.#call antiverbal sometime. near constant pushback against word both type speech. friction and pressure on word almost.#but speak fluent fast sometimes! stumble over word lose track often but still capable.#frustrating not knowing if belong in space or not.#type this way feels less stress. many word feel wrong brain not just bad but like word doesnt exist all doesnt belong in sentence.#part autism part schizo thing i think.#dont know. feel guilt sometimes but CANT speech function without bad fatigue brainfog.#no point in post just cant talk to friends like this.#isolating. normally talk in depth but take several minutes unless direct short reply way longer than most.#all closest friends talk regularly disabled autistic but worry this ‘’too much’’ make less talkable.#already not good social so rather sacrifice comfort ease than risk lose friends when in such bad state.#migraine so ending rant but. yeah. hellplanet.
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♢ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ♢
naruto, sasuke, shikamaru, kiba, shino, neji, iruka & kakashi
a/n: sooo,, i SHOUld be working on my uni essays and on the bf!neji texts BUT this had been sitting in my notes app for a while so i decided to post it ;D (the neji texts will come soon i promise). some are longer, some are shorter for which i apologise,,,,,, please ignore typos, i can't spell & enjoy MWUAH
likes & reblogs appreciated <3
warnings: some NSFW parts! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! :) also not proofread as usual
masterlist
♢ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ ᴜᴢᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ♢
✿oh my baby boy
❀first off: angel. 100%.
✿because u are his angel u feel me
❀he can't go a day without telling u
✿then also just the basic baby
❀but mostly when he wants something from u or he's apologising for dumb stuff he's done
✿puppy eyes and all
❀and also during sexy time
✿it's his most used name for u there
✿fight me on this
❀big on his own self made nicknames for u
✿for instance: u fell down the stairs once?
❀"hey, stairs, how you doin'"
✿and just silly ones like: boo, pookie, apple of my eye
❀he's weird like that c'mon we been knew
♢ꜱᴀꜱᴜᴋᴇ ᴜᴄʜɪʜᴀ♢
✿now this guy is a wild card
❀he'd prefer ur name through & through
✿but he'd slip in a casual babe sometimes which makes ur knees weak obviously
❀because he barely ever calls u that
✿if ur married he'd only call you his wife
❀doesn't even let you answer questions on your own sometimes just so he can hit them with
❀"well, MY WIFE, thinks you suck ass, so.."
✿during sex he can be quiet mean
❀I DONT THINK in the derogatory way but more in a teasing way
✿"c'mon, sweetheart, look at me."
❀when ur just about to black out??
✿but like i said
❀not big on pet names but he'll use them more often if he knows u enjoy it <3
♢ꜱʜɪᴋᴀᴍᴀʀᴜ ɴᴀʀᴀ♢
✿pretty
❀just pretty bro.
✿not ALL THE TIME, especially not in public as i don't think he's big on PDA
❀but in the comfort of ur own 4 walls? definitely
✿now don't HATE ME for this but,,,
❀woman. and brat.
✿but only in petty situations, like when ur scolding his lazy ass and he hits u with a "go easy on me, woman, i just woke up."
❀or u've been going on his nerves while he's working
✿,,i'm busy, brat.''
❀in bed tho???
✿love or doll
❀i'm almost CERTAIN.
✿like,, can u imagine?? in his dumb fucking charming voice ???
❀PFFF i'm on my knees
♢ᴋɪʙᴀ ɪɴᴜᴢᴜᴋᴀ♢
✿now this fucker
❀teasing names through & through
✿ur shorter than him?
❀"hey, shortie, need help?"
✿ur taller than him?
❀"hey, giant, how's the weather up there?"
✿he's a DICK ok (affectionately ofc)
❀but he can be sweet too i promise
✿he's having fun with calling u bunny during sex or simply baby
❀also ???? "okay, boss." when he's been annoying u all day and u finally snap at him?
✿he's a menace with nicknames i'm telling u
♢ꜱʜɪɴᴏ ᴀʙᴜʀᴀᴍᴇ♢
✿you probably guessed it and bully me if you'd like but,,,
❀bug or lovebug
✿come oooon he loves his bugs AND he loves you?? it fits PERFECTLY
❀not one to do it infront of other people either but in your private space he just wouldn't stop calling you one of these
✿i also see him using the regular honey but the abbreviation so hun because it's short and sweet and he doesn't like those long ass names
❀apologies if ur name is long LMAO mine is too tho
✿takes the hun into the bedroom but prefers a gentle love while having sex
❀shino's not a sweet talker in my mind, but the pet names make up for it FOSHOU
✿ALSO big brain idea i just had:
❀i think shino can't fully express his emotions verbally so before going on missions he definitely writes u letters and that's where he's blooming
✿''u keep me going everyday, sunshine.''
❀and it doesn't even matter if you have a bubbly personality or not
✿UGH lovesick fr
♢ɴᴇᴊɪ ʜʏᴜɢᴀ♢
❀this pretty princess doesn't even know ur name when ur alone with him
✿ESPECIALLY when ur texting
❀sweetheart, love & darling
✿he'd make u fall in love over again whenever he calls u one of those i'm just saying
❀because he's always so sincere when he's talking to u it drives me crazy just thinking about it
✿during sexy time too, he would NEVER
❀& i will die on this hill
✿NEVER use any degrading names for u
❀ur his baby don't make him do that
✿even when ur fighting, he'd always address u in such a kind way i'm actually going insane
❀"have you had dinner yet, dear?"
✿ sedate me pls
♢ɪʀᴜᴋᴀ ᴜᴍɪɴᴏ♢
✿AAA this guy
❀soo,, like father like son,,, angel
✿u can't change my mind
❀being the kind hearted person he is, it just fits u can't tell me off
✿but i will also say he'd use some funny ones in private because we all know he's just a silly lil guy deep inside
❀i'm thinking toots & peach
✿especially when greeting u !! like ''ey, toots, how's it going?''
❀during sex he will be quiet awkward at the start of ur relationship, settling in angel as he's most familiar with it at first
✿but after some time he'd pull a babydoll or gorgeous on u
❀i mean,,, i'd cry but idk about y'all
✿oVERALL he loves using pet names and wouldn't be opossed to u calling him some sweet ones as well <3
❀call him handsome and he'll go through the roof
♢ᴋᴀᴋᴀꜱʜɪ ʜᴀᴛᴀᴋᴇ♢
✿AHEM
❀so this man,,
✿at the start of ur relationship he's such a shy lil bean so he'll only use your first name
❀but once he's been with you long enough he gets so so comfortable
✿starts of with the regular baby because u are his baby aight.
❀his most frequently used one too i'd say
✿but then he'd go like
❀"hey, beautiful." "y'alright, sweetheart?"
✿and idk about u but i'd faint
❀HE KNOWS ABOUT HIS AFFECT ON U TOO
✿uses it against u during sex SO OFTEN
❀grunting a "there y'go, darling." into your ear with a sly smirk on his lips
✿i'm (s)creaming
❀but he's a very private person so don't expect too much of that in public !!
✿a side from a "yes, ma'am" when u tell him not to die on a mission <3
a/n: i hope this doesn't SUCK ahemm,,, and i'll see you beans next time bye bye x
devider by @enchanthings
#naruto x reader#naruto headcanons#naruto uzumaki x reader#sasuke x reader#sasuke uchiha x reader#sasuke headcanons#sasuke uchiha#sasuke#shikamaru#shikamaru nara#shikamaru x reader#shikamaru nara x reader#kiba x reader#kiba inuzuka x reader#kiba#kiba inuzuka#shino x reader#shino aburame x reader#shino#shino aburame#neji x reader#neji hyuga x reader#neji#neji hyuga#iruka#iruka umino#iruka x reader#iruka umino x reader#kakashi#kakashi hatake
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(Warning for my added tags: kinda got a little vent-y. Read at own discretion)
ykw. shout out to everyone who is both too disabled and not enough.
i wonder if i am disabled enough for cripplepunk, but at the end of the day, scrolling through the cripplepunk tag makes me feel better.
i am not quite disabled enough to be who a post for people who have been deemed scary or weird is for, but i do deal with those feelings. and i bite my arm because it makes me feel less like i’m dying and then i wonder if maybe they would think i am weird and scary.
i guess what this boils down to is: i feel like i am not disabled enough for disabled community. and if anyone else sees this who feels the same way, you deserve community. you deserve not to feel alone.
#i didn't realize how much i needed to hear this tbh#i am physically and mentally disabled#injuries. brain damage. chronic pain. long covid. some minor bodily deformities. stuff like that mostly#i use a cane. the few times ive used a wheelchair were also immensely helpful for my pain and edema#since my leg edema sometimes comes with numbed paralysis when it flares up real bad#but i always feel like im faking or not THAT disabled? because i work retail and function well enough. and my symptoms are often mild#i often dont realize HOW DISABLED i really am until i talk about it and people give me The Look#several people (including doctors) have stated that i am an anomaly with how well i function with minimal aids#most people would be crippled by the type of edema i have. especially since the numb paralysis has led to occasional incontinence#really i only function on sheer willpower and tbh idk how much longer ill be able to. it gets worse every day#i am disabled enough. i want community. but i sorta. exclude myself#amd people who dont know me well also exclude me because i force myself to function better than im#really able to? if that makes sense#idk. good post op. sorry for the dumping in the tags here#made me sad for a minute but left me feeling a lot better after. sorta like a really good cry. but in an epiphany way kinda#disability#good post op
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maybe i should ignore the fact that commute to therapy would most likely than not be too long and actually start getting therapy huh
#my posts#whatever makes me happy takes my mood way too high and then the next thing that manages to shift my mood#will automatically make me hit rock bottom tbh#so i genuinely feel like i reach rock bottom literally every day which is. innecesary#but i also dont think that once college starts again ill be. okay with. 'wasting time' going to therapy#i know it wouldnt be a waste of time but the waste of time is commute im so sure it will be at least an hour away from where i am#it just. sucks. i want to be okay lmao#at least for longer periods of time or at least feel neutral and not like. this? i guess#also i think if i managed to change the way i am i could try to get less down so often tbh#i managed at some point somehow im back here and i think ill have to fully rework that#its either convincing myself to care less or change tactics to not experience it in the first place#... idk lmao i have no idea what will end up going on#i just know ill keep going thats as much as i can say#im.. gonna pretend i didnt post this and keep rbing stuff too btw lmao or go to sleep or something but yeah
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Yandere Househusband
The wedding
P. 2/?
TW : normal yandere stuff, dubcon, reader is into it?, Tyler talks about children, both are like 18 or 19
Btw English is not my first language so please keep that in mind
🩵Also thanks to everyone who wrote nice comments under the first post🩵
You sometimes watched those trashy shows about the bridezillas who were obsessed with their weddings and made everyones live hell. Like many people you hopped to never be in a situation like this. But here you were sitting besides your fiancé while he discusses flower arrangements, acting like a giant brat.
Is it so hard to put together bouquets with ALL pink flowers?!
Sir we dont have enough pink lillies for all your decorations. You should reconsider some of your choices-
I‘m surrounded by idiots!! My spouse wanted pink lillies so i don’t care if you don’t have them stocked!! Just buy them!
That would be even more expen-
Just do it !!!
And with that Tyler took your hand and you both exited the flower shop. It was almost comical how such a small thing could affect a grown man so much, but hey it’s his day. Tyler had a big pout on his face so that called for your attention and pampering.
Tyler don’t be upset.
But its our day my darling, everything should be perfect! We spend so much time picking out your (suit/dress/whatever you want its your wedding) and my suit. The flowers have to match or everything was for nothing my dear!
Not everything has to be perfect.
Oh yes it does! Have you never been on pinterest ?
That was the whole wedding planning in a nutshell , just an avid pinterest user placing together the wedding of their dreams( yandere style). Sometimes it was cute seeing Tyler being so invested in the wedding, other times it was more than annoying to cater to his perfectionism.
You also often thought about how quickly things progressed. I mean you just graduated high school and are already engaged and working for your fiancés father. Tylers father, Eric, was a great boss, you often wondered why people were scared of him. It’s just your nice father in law! Always explaining everything to you and hyping you up as the next in line of the family business. I mean you’re almost a part of it.
And Tylers mother, Ramona, was the same, always acting like she’s your real mother and caring for you. Not to mention Tyler himself. You were not suprised when he didn’t went out to look for a job or university, he always promoted the idea of a traditional family with you as the breadwinner in the center. And hey, his parents gifted you a house as an engagement gift, so its safe to say that you wont suffer in the presence of those saints.
At least that’s what you thought of them, little did you know that they were the reason why most of your friends cut contact and your family hardly called after you moved out. But hey who needs them anyways.
So while all these thoughts ran through your mind here you were, walking down the aisle with your father and finally seeing the man of your dreams in his perfectly tailored suit and styled hair, with tears in his eyes witnessing your beauty.
Your wedding vow was rather short but still packed with the love you felt for your husband. And after he put himself together, because of his happy tears, he read the most beautiful wedding vow you ever heard touching your heart and everyone else’s in the chapel. So when you finally get to put the rings on each other’s fingers you both stand up there with tears in your eyes.
And when you both finally unite in a grand kiss your fate was finally sealed. Tyler had you finally completely in his grasp, even if you didn’t realize it. And he,as well as his family, will never let you go. So enjoy your wedding party with your family and friends, you won’t get to see them any longer my dear.
Till death do you apart.
🩵Thanks a lot I hope you enjoyed it, I am planning on making this a series so please comment ideas for your life with your new husband 🩵
#yandere fic#obsessive yandere#yandere community#yandere core#yandere x reader#yandere househusband#soft yandere#yandere fiction#yandere fanfiction#yandere male#yandere husband#yandere bf#yandere boy#sub yandere#yandere writing#yandere#yandere stories
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baby, boo, my sweetie, darling ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
summary: what pet names they'd call you!
pairing: ot5 boynextdoor x gn!reader
genre: fluff, established relationship
word count: <100 for each
warnings: none
note: first hc post yay!! prepare for more hcs to come ur way (bc i dont have time to work on anything longer rn - 🪼)
⟡ ݁₊ . sungho : darling, angel
sungho is just so sickeningly sweet, you are his weakness. he treats you with so much love and care so it’s only right for him to use the most loving petnames. you are his everything and more <3
”hey angel, i’m going to the store do you want anything?”
“wow, darling, you are beautiful.”
⟡ ݁₊ . riwoo : sweetie/sweetheart, my love
i think at first he’s a little shy about using terms of endearment around other people. but once he sees how much you like it (bc you get shy every time he does use them) he does it more often. just wants to see you happy forever.
“hi sweetie, i brought you a treat!”
“of course, my love. you don't have to ask to share my food, y’know?”
⟡ ݁₊ . jaehyun : baby/babe, honey, my love
he's overflowing with love all the time and it's only amplified when he's with you. would smother you in affection if he could. he uses almost all of them but he has favorites. truly thinks you're the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful, lovely person to ever walk this planet and needs you to know it.
“babyyyy, i miss you!! can we cuddle, please?”
“hi honey, do you wanna go get food with me? i’ll buy!!”
⟡ ݁₊ . taesan : babe, love
another one who's a little shy about it at first. prefers to love you quietly through his actions rather than his words. but he loves your reactions when he calls you something sweet. and you use them with him all the time (it nevers fails to make him blush) so of course he starts to reciprocate.
“hey love, can you pass me that? i wanna show you something i’m working on.”
“babe, did you listen to the song i sent you yet? i think you’ll like it.”
⟡ ݁₊ . leehan : princess/prince, angel
he loves you but he loves seeing you blush even more. he already looks at you like you hung all the stars in the sky so it's no surprise to anyone that he rarely ever uses your real name anymore. you are his angel and thats final. treats you as such, as well.
“you look stunning, princess/prince, why are you worried?”
“you want a hug? well of course, my angel.”
#bnd fluff#bnd imagines#bnd jaehyun#bnd leehan#bnd riwoo#bnd scenarios#bnd sungho#bnd taesan#boynextdoor fluff#boynextdoor x reader#bnd x reader#boynextdoor jaehyun#boynextdoor sungho#boynextdoor riwoo#boynextdoor taesan#boynextdoor leehan#myung jaehyun x reader#leehan x reader#taesan x reader#sungho x reader#riwoo x reader#divider by cafekitsune#* written by 🪼#divider by saradika#boynextdoor#boynextdoor fic#boynextdoor fanfic#boynextdoor scenarios#boynextdoor imagines#bonedo imagines
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compiling my headcanons for what video games dungeon meshi characters would like, if they were gamers in modern day
some taken from this post and my reblog additions there. added more characters, with some suggestions by friends/mutuals (marked by *asterisk ).
this can also be a games recommendation list based on your fav/most relatable characters too, if you want
characters that are not are included are bc i dont have ideas for them. if i only list the genre name but not any specific titles, its bc im not familiar enough with the character/genre to pick a specific game.
this list is, of course, biased towards games im more familiar with. feel free to ask me to elaborate on my choices or make suggestions in the comments
Laios' party:
Laios: plays lots of Monster Hunter. loves Spore but he doesnt often play past the tribal stage. likes Pokemon but he's more focused on catching the pokemon than following the story. played WolfQuest and DragonFable back in the day. enjoyed the concept of Bugsnax but wasn't interested in dealing with the NPCs
Marcille: mainly Dwarf Fortress, RTS games, some colony sims. but also sometimes The Sims, and dollmaker dress-up games. i could see her also enjoying Rollercoaster Tycoon and making elaborately-themed parks. might also occasionally indulge in some visual novels if she's in the mood for narrative she has Stardew Valley so she can have something to play co-op with falin, but its not a game she plays a lot of otherwise. when playing with falin, marcille micromanages the farm to maximize productivity, and does the decorations
Chilchuck: puzzle games and hidden object/escape room games as a video game-equivalent to finding/dismantling traps and lockpicking. i think he'd also enjoy Bejeweled.
Senshi: mainly Wii games and Cooking Mama. occasionally plays Snake on his 15-year-old nokia phone. i dont think he would enjoy games like Overcooked or restaurant manager games, because he likes to take his time making food, not stressing about customer service
Falin: some *Legend of Zelda games – she likes the exploration aspect in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, maybe also some of the toon zelda games like Minish Cap or Wind Waker she also plays Pokemon (*Pokemon Go when she's traveling), and i think she would enjoy some indie games, like Penko Park or Chicory: A Colorful Tale. plays Stardew Valley co-op with marcille – falin mainly takes care of the animals, mining, and picking the crops. occasionally makes improvement suggestions that marcille didnt think of
Izutsumi: i could see her enjoying games with parkour mechanics, like *Assassin's Creed, or Mirror's Edge. or maybe something simple but requiring cat-like swipes, like Fruit Ninja. despite her impatience, i think she could also enjoy action games with interesting longer narratives, as evidenced by [this omake] (relevant portion pictured below), so maybe *Final Fantasy 7 – my friend who's familiar with the game said "she’d find Cloud and Vincent relatable"
[ID: a dungeon meshi omake, where laios' party watches a nightmare monster manifest marcille's dream. there are snippets of dramatic soap opera-like dialogue. the rest of the party are initially enthusiastic but get bored over time, meanwhile izutsumi remains enthralled]
Kabru's party
Kabru: definitely Crusader Kings. maybe also some rpgs with relationship/faction mechanics, such as *Fire Emblem (one of the older ones or FE:3H) or Fallout: New Vegas (hes maxing out the speech stat asap) i think he would also enjoy mystery games like Pentiment and Return of the Obra Dinn – he would love the process of getting familiar with the many characters and deducing "who did what" in both games.
Rin: she takes pride in being an indie gamer (translating her disdain for upper class magic academy mages -> disdain for AAA games). given her chain-lightning magic in canon, i think she'd enjoy games with AOE-type magic, so maybe games such as Vampire Survivors. my mutual also suggested she might enjoy indie mystery visual novels like *Paranormasight, and that her AAA guilty-pleasure would be *Final Fantasy 14 – that rin is "a hardcore ff14 raider. would join PUGs and shot-call every week. #holm and diya might also play ff14 casually with rin but holm would be fishing mainly"
Mickbell: mainly Bethesda games like Fallout and Skyrim– enjoys the bootstrapper power fantasy in them. the type to go out of his way to pick up all the loot he can, to later sell
Kuro: enjoys the same games as Mickbell, but for the open-world exploration and investigation factors
Toshiro and Tansu's party:
Namari: her interest in fighting and weapons could translate to brawler/fighting games and action games with a focus on weapon stats – so maybe *Street Fighter, *God of War, and/or *Dark Souls. might play *Monster Hunter with laios but for the weapons. i could also see her occasionally enjoying truck simulators
Toshiro (Shuro): has the perseverance for soulslikes and other high-difficulty action and/or metroidvania games, but would take his time overthinking item/weapon synergies sometimes. given [his fondness for bugs], i could also see him enjoying Hollow Knight
Tade: would enjoy the cute aesthetics and lighthearted gameplay of Animal Crossing and Katamari. would also like idol anime rhythm games
Kiki: i think she would enjoy horror games such as Resident Evil, but would play it while super chill. i dont have much reasoning for this aside from vibes
Canaries:
Mithrun: plays Doom. got into Hollow Knight but still hasn't finished it because he keeps getting lost. senshi introduces him to Cooking Mama later on, which he finds surprisingly therapeutic
Cithis: plays Hitman and enjoys staging elaborate accident kills. i think she'd also enjoy The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood, with her background as a devious fortune-teller
Fleki: surreal indie games like Hylics. also plays Team Fortress 2, and is a scout main. occasionally joins lycion in Animal Jam
Lycion: active WolfQuest and Animal Jam player. occasionally joins fleki in tf2
Pattadol: plays Stardew Valley – shes comparatively a normie, but on the meticulous side. she would enjoy perfecting her in-game farm
Otta: plays Genshin Impact. the serious reasoning is because of her (earth) elemental magic and how genshin has an elemental magic system (from my understanding. ive never played it). the joke reasoning is how some genshin players play to collect "waifus", and how otta goes through a lot of women in her dating life
Other:
Leed: runs her own guild in World of Warcraft
Winged Lion: god-games like WorldBox or Simmiland. and Darkest Dungeon (this ones mostly a joke)
Thistle: plays the original Plants VS. Zombies. also plays Minecraft and is very serious about it, but hasn't updated his game in years (translating the fact hes a 1000-year-old kid frozen in time -> playing "slightly old" games popular in the early 2010s)
[ID: tweet reply by twitter user ranchuppi – "thistle calls it lord delgal's server but he is the only mod. whole royal family is locked in spectator mode. Hell. living hell on earth."]
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#its not that spoilery but just in case anyone needs it#ive never owned any game consoles except a laptop so i watch a lot of lets plays/game showcases. and a fair amount of those are indie games#so this is probably a somewhat biased selection. i wanted to give several indie shout outs tho esp if they matched the character well#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#mynn.txt#dm meta#yes this goes in my dunmeshi meta tag. this is character analysis to me
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fun facts about (polish) vampire folklore because i'm too autism
(disclaimer: my source for all of this is the book "Upiór. Historia naturalna" by Łukasz Kozak i'm not pulling this out of my ass)
The word "vampire" came from a mistranscribed Serbian word, written down by Austrian officials informing about a panic among the locals, who claimed that during a plague their dead were rising and biting them and spreading the plague further
In Poland, the words used to describe what later transformed into a "vampire" in literature were: upiór (and variations thereof - the word came from Ukrainian, and the Ukrainians got it from Turkish "ubyr"), strzyga (f)/strzygoń (m) and wieszczy (m)/wieszczyca (f). "Upiór" was used in the southeast, "strzyga" around the central regions, "strzygoń" (as well as strzyga) specifically in Lesser Poland (Małopolska) and "wieszczy" in Greater Poland (Wielkopolska) and in Kashubia. "Wąpierz" was not a word until some writer in the 19th century made it up!
The upiór actually very rarely drank blood. It happened, sure, but a much more bloodthirsty creature was zmora/mara. However, upiory often drank milk, stealing it from cows and horses. Both are life-giving bodily fluids, after all.
The above might make you think about witches, who were often blamed with stealing or spoiling milk, and you wouldn't be far off. You see, you had to be born as an upiór (these ones weren't contagiously biting!), and while you were alive, it would give you various magical powers, like clairvoyance and detecting the dead upiory, and so the upiór was practically a synonym of a sorcerer or witch. Of course, the sources vary, but depending on who you asked, they could control weather bringing heavy rains or droughts, see the future, know literally everything and so on. Those so-called "living vampires" knew who they were since birth and were often helpful, until they died.
After an upiór died, that's when the bad things happened. They disappeared from their graves, destroyed churches, broke candles, brought plague upon the people, scared their neighbors, and if one puffed in your face, you would soon die. They were said to be able to walk around with their decapitated head, so anti-vampiric burials often had to be very thorough and decapitation wasn't enough.
The signs that were supposedly telling of a living vampire were, among others: being born with teeth, being born in a caul, not having armpit or pubic hair BUT having a hairy chest, not having undergone confirmation (i'll come back to that in a moment), having a very red face and easily and often blushing (not being pale!), or being born with a deformed foot.
Not having participated in the confirmation sacrament was especially damning, because it was believed that upiory had two souls (and two hearts). When they were baptized, only one soul was being saved, and the confirmation sacrament was supposed to protect the second soul. This, of course, was extremely against the catechism, so the first "official", church-related sources recording those beliefs had to invent another "backstory" for upiory, and they claim that an upiór is a dead person specifically, who was given to the devil at birth, the baptism saving their soul, but their body still belonging to the dark forces, which was why they rose from their graves - the devil basically hijacked their corpses.
I won't make this post much longer but I will GLADLY answer any questions because this is my special interest and I just came back from an exhibition where the author of the aforementioned book talked about all of that so. me right now ⬇️ (readmore so you dont get continuously blased with the gif under it)
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