#i dont mean this in a romantic way for ruby

[doctor-who-cares]

I love how the Doctor told Ruby that she changed him and he's grown, only for it to instantly be shown otherwise. A blonde telling him she loves him only for him to turn, unable to express his actual feelings to anyone. He's come all this way, but in a second he's right back where he was nearly 20 years ago.

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Real talk I think Cherry Coading and R. Marie should switch evil genius partners for a week and see what happens

[stinkyhyena9000]

Literally me today

[everything here is hc btw]

So basically on my walk home today, I had a very vivid idea of Clay and Boudreaux's band. Three Day's Grace's "I Hate Everything About You" perfectly shows off my voice HC for how young Clay sounded, as well as their band's overall sound.

Other bands that also work are the Foo Fighters, Taking Back Sundays, and Sleeping With Sirens. (Yes these are all popular emo/rock bands ik)

At the time, Clay was also dyeing his mane and tail black, or atleast the small bit of hair he could call his mane. He was already a good ~5years on testerone, but his mane was taking a long while to grow in, which is why he takes such good care of it and takes a lot of pride in it now. Also he no longer dyes his mane black now, but he still does dye his tail, as a fun little memory of the past.

Oh yeah did I also mention I'm putting my trans Clay headcanon in this? Yeah.

Anyways his band "Crimson Car Fire" advertised themselves a bit as a couple of hotties. Clay was into the idea too, even though he's definitely demi. He even went far enough to wear a fishnet tank with nothing under it to most of their shows.

He was terrified at first to try this though, since had much more recently gotten top surgery. Yes, we're back to that headcanon. Anyways, he was worried because his scars would show through his fishnet tank. Luckily (mostly) everyone was supportive, so he kept sporting it!

What else he would wear is some black cargo pants, with some chains. He also had some black leather fingerless gloves of course, black leather boots, and for necklaces he had a cross necklace and a necklace of his first guitar pic from his (late) father. He still wears these to do this day.

If he's not wearing only his fishnet tank, he's always wearing some tshirt from bands he went to concerts for. He also wears these to this day, and Ash and Johnny likes to refer to them as vintage. Although correct, Clay always insists that they're not vintage! (they definitely are).

Oh yeah back to the band. Clay is the main singer and playing some bass, with Boudreux (peacock) being the main guitarist, ane Julie (finch) fronting the drums and sometimes vocals. They're actually from the Sing equivalent of New Orleans (They did move to Calatonia and play most of their shows there, though).

As you can imagine, Clay was definitely shocked to see Calatonia again when he finally went to live their again with the Moon Crew. And to think they didn't keep a single drive-in movie theatre! (Will get back that with Clay and Ruby dates.)

Speaking of Ruby, she actually met Clay through the band. Was she a fan? No, actually, she though their music was too cheesy. She was just dragged there to one of Clay's bands shows by her friend. Clay may have winked at her and Ruby may have felt that.

The real crushing began outside of the show, though. They bumped into each other and Ruby recognized him from the show. I'll go more into this later, but yeah.

Now I did mention to other band mates, Boudreux and Julie. Boudreux was a hot shot peacock who played guitar, and him and Clay met at the end of highschool. There was a lot of unresolved romantic tension between the two, although it's gone now after they split up. He was definitely jealous when Clay and Ruby started hanging out, but what reason would he have to stop them? Him and Clay were never actually a thing, just a few in-the-moment instances.

(Oh yeah incase it needed to be stated, Clay is demiromantic, demisexual, and bi. Boudreux is a demiboy and flaming homosexual, and Julie liked girl in red. She also had a partner too who always supported her and came to her shows. They were definitely a colorful cast).

Anyways eventually the band split it. Julie had to move out of state to stay with her partner, and there was a little drama between Boudreux and Clay about Ruby.

Cut back to present-day, with Clay living with Rosita back in Calatonia, Clay likes to watch Ash's concerts, since it makes him nostalgic for his band days. (Picture Clay wearing an Ash concert t-shirt btw).

At one of her concert's his eyes actually catch someone familiar among the sea of heads. The impossible, unforgettable plumage of the one and only Boudreux.

Clay catches him after the show. Boudreux is surprised to see him again and gives the big lion an even bigger hug. Despite everything, they're still best friends, and they had a lot of catching up to do. I need you to realize, this is like 30-40 years later.

Boudreaux comments on how they both seemed to have grayed, and Clay can't help but give of a hearty laugh. They apologize for the rough ending back then, and some tears are shed. Boudreux asks about Ruby. "That girl was always at your side, where she at?" Clay is stuck, unable to speak. Lion's caught his tongue.

That's when Ash finally makes it ouside to meet back up with Clay. She notices that familiar grimace, and swiftenes to ask him what's wrong, "and who's this?"

Clay, seeing her daughter, that bright shining star, he gets back together again. He introduces him as an old friend. And then he continues "Boudreux, she's gone now. I'm so sorry."

Boudreux's usual snarky front immediately softens, and he quicky replies "No, no, why are you apologing. Stop crying this isn't your fault" and he begins to tear up, too.

Also yes, Ash is just standing their confused.

After a couple of minutes of silent sobbing, conversation starts back up again.

"Y'know, did you hear about Julie?" Boudreux begins.

"Oh my god, Julie. What happened" Clay responds in a hushed, weak tone, still recovering from the news he just gave.

"She, uhm. She was found somewhere in the upper states. Sam rushed her to the hospital. She uh, passed from a heart attack, I think."

Clay begins to smile a bit, despite the news. "That Sam of her was always there for, wasn't they?" He word out through his waterworks.

"Damn right they were. Perfect couple I'd say," the peacock answers.

Another silence passes.

Ash is on the side of them furiously texting her phone. Clay and Boudreaux forgot about her, actually. Ash is texting Buster and Rosita, saying they're gonna be a while, before putting back down her phone, out of courtesy.

[bridgyrose]

Ruby panted and looked at the score, pained to see that Coco still managed to destroy more targets than she did without using her minigun. Not that she was surprised by it with how distracted she’d been. “Okay, you win.” 

“Great,” Coco said as she put her purse down. “Now talk. I’ve seen what you can handle and that… that wasnt you out there.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Ruby answered as she folded up her scythe and sat down. “Its not love, its just a distraction. Maybe I’ve spent too much time with them.” 

Coco shook her head and moved to sit down near Ruby. “Sounds like love to me.” 

“I dont love.” 

“Love’s complicated. Take it from someone who’s been trying to figure out what Velvet means to me.” 

Ruby went quiet as she tried to think about what Coco had told her, though none of it made sense to her. Love was a word that eluded her, a feeling that she never really felt except for those she considered family. She was certain she loved Yang, her dad, and Uncle Qrow, but Weiss and Blake… what she felt wasnt the same for them. Just like the boys she was supposed to have a crush on at Signal, or like how Jaune talked about Pyrrha. 

“I… I really dont think its love,” she said quietly. “I want to keep them close to me, it feels good to hear their opinions, my heart races when I see them or even think about them in a way that it’s never raced for anyone else. But at the same time, I dont want to do the same things with them that others want to do when they describe love. When Jaune talks about Pyrrha, he talks about how he wants to hold her, kiss her, maybe have a life with her. And when I see Weiss and Blake, I dont want any of that. I only want-” 

“-to see them happy and to be in their life?” Coco asked. 

“How did you know that?” 

“Its the same way for me with Velvet. I’ve known her for years, went to Pharos with her and silently kept my distance while wanting to be near her. And as much as others teased me about it, it was never about romance. It was about seeing the smile on her face when she was happy, being able to be friends with her, being close. Love doenst have to be romantic, it can be whatever that means to you.” 

“And how did you figure that out?” 

Coco shrugged and got up. “Never really figured it out completely. But, I did finally talk to her about it. I’m not saying you have to talk to Weiss and Blake, but you cant keep avoiding them either. Especially if all its going to do is distract you.” 

Ruby nodded and watched Coco walk off, then looked at the targets again. It was still easier to shoot and practice than to try to talk to her teammates, though Coco wasnt wrong that it kept her from being herself. She slowly picked herself up and pulled out her scroll as she texted Blake and Weiss, her fingers shaking with each press of a key. 

“Meet me in the library, I need to talk to you both.” 

prev

[nin-deer]

Ch 143

i mean i think we all knew deep down the kiss was gonna happen based on the flow of the story but i think this chap reveals a lot about gorou and sarina

(uh warning this got a little out of hand so its pretty long lmao)

so.

i dont think anyone's completely in the wrong, but i definitely don't think they're in the right either. (not that i condone incest; its just that their motivations led them to this specific point. would the story have been fine without it? hell yeah. please i actually prefer it that way. but this is the direction the author decided to take it, so we have to take it as it is as a point of learning more about the character's motivations)

Let's first analyze sarina and gorou's relationship pre-reincarnation. I think I covered this in my last post where I rambled about onk, but gorou is doing a doctor thing where he "accepts" sarina's proposal just to make her happy. We learn in this new chapter that he basically catered to her every request, and that's what started that infatuation. we know from previous chapters that her bio family's shitty, so the only place she would get this love is from gorou. we also learn in this chapter that it's not actually a romantic love but a fanatic love, for lack of better terms. she sees him as her idol. does sarina even know what it feels to be romantically in love with someone? she spent her whole first life in a hospital, isolated from others her age. she spent her second life very curated and protected because of her mom and her future career; she couldn't really live a normal life. (we'll get back to this point later) all she knows about love is through her idols, so she's channeling it into (what she thinks is) romantic love for gorou.

gorou, on the other side of this, is an actual adult who had an actual life before all this, so he knows what a normal life is like. assuming sarina is one of his first patients, its obvious to see that he got attached, which is a very risky situation for scenarios like this. we see this attachment made her death worse, as he threw himself into following Ai to cope for her death. not gonna go too in depth about this here because, again, i made another post for this that i'll probably link at the end bc im referencing it more than i thought... continuing! he knows sarina doesnt have long left so he wants to do what he can for her, thus creating that "idol" persona sarina has for him.

we see in his regret in this new chap that he actually knows what he's doing and is aware of the consequences of his actions. ruby doesn't. she doesn't regret anything. as someone who reads a lot of isekai/reincarnation stories, its easy to joke that ruby and aqua are their old age + their new age, but that isn't necessarily true for ruby. sure, aqua is old and this could apply to him. but ruby? she didn't make it past 18 before she died. she's like,,, 13 times 2. double 13. she never fully developed in her first life, and she's developing in this current life. it's like a continue from where she left off. aqua actually was an adult, so he has all the knowledge and wisdom of an adult. why does this matter? shift your attention back to the concept of love for a bit. aqua knows what she's doing is bad and is trying to stop her, but the knowledge that she's sarina is making him automatically succumb to her wishes. a part of his brain, because of the trauma, still sees ruby as the sickly sarina he was caring for.

ruby is naïve. she doesnt know what love is. all the love she's ever been exposed to is whatever she saw online: idols. i dont even think she fully knows what the concept of family is. aqua is her brother? nope. aqua is the doctor she proposed to and now she has a chance to follow through like all the shows she's seen. she's closer than ever to him, so why give up the chance? even as ruby, she wasn't exposed to a lot of normalcy because of idol culture. she isn't able to learn about the difference between platonic love and fanatic love. we even see this with ai, who she sees more as an idol than her mom. the joy is in her idol being her mom, someone who's supposed to care for her. it's like shes living a fantasy made just for her. because aqua was so obsessed w revenge, he didn't have the chance to teach her anything, and it's not like he needed to learn bc he already knows. ruby doesn't.

aqua, as the one who understands these nuances, should have sat her down and explained things, but he didn't because of the trauma of sarina. ruby is ignorant and is treating things like a tv drama, now that her dreams as sarina can finally become true. aqua doesn't realize how serious ruby is about this because in his mind this is just a child playing house. ruby is like,,,, imagine you die and you wake up actually being sold to one direction. or whatever happens to you in your fav self-insert scenario/fanfic. idk a better analogy lmao but its like finally being able to play out your fantasies irl. she doesn't realize the real world impacts of her actions because, frankly, she doesn't care. she gets to live out her life as she wants. aqua was shocked after the first kiss with ruby because he realized then she was being serious, but he didn't speak out about it because, again, the trauma™. (we see him again uncomfy with the whole situation in the next page, but his lack of objection could be bc it's a scene in the documentary and he finds it more important to get revenge rn) ruby kissed him then because she purposefully created the mood like that so it would fit in the story she was writing in her mind.

so what does this mean? because of their shared pasts, aqua and ruby are put in this situation where ruby can do what she wants and aqua goes along with it. even if he knows its morally wrong, he can't bring himself to break ruby's immersion in all of this. BUT. big but. aqua shouldn't act like this. they're both capable of living out their lives as normal (barring the revenge and the whole idol stuff). he doesn't need to act like this anymore; ruby's not terminally ill. he's not a doctor. what he should have done was firmly deny her stuff he knows is wrong because then he can educate her about the reason why. as much as their personalities are inspired by their past lives, sarina and gorou are dead. they need to move on and live a aqua and ruby. (Harsh, I know, but because of this scenes like *gestures vaguely to the newest two chapters* happens. if aqua stood his ground and taught ruby about familial love and that what she's feeling is probably not romantic, i think this could have been avoided. but alas, we need it for the ~drama~)

-

sorry that went on way longer than i thought lmao. i think i covered everything i wanted to say but im too lazy to read back so fingers crossed

if you made it this far and are curious about the other post i mentioned in the beginning, its here. i just think its some context to my thought process but not necessary to understand this post

[ohh-fiddlesticks]

pinned post thingo… pt 3 !

hiii my name is 💥 micah 💥 and this is my selfship sideblog! i use he/him and im a certified transsexual 🔥 aroace and gay as well. its a complex and wondrous thing yk how it is ‼️ i’m also australian 🎉

i tend to see my selfships as more on the fictional side; i like to explore the relationships like any other relationship in fiction, meaning that it wont always be the healthiest, so… keep that in mind i guess 👍

i dont like to associate this blog too closely with my main but if you get notifs from a blog with a url starting with d and a rainbow pfp of castiel, thats almost definitely me! if u wanna know the exact url feel free to ask and i’ll let you know 👍

you can also check out my strawpage for some general info about me and an f/o list, etc. :^)

i draw sometimes ‼️ i tag all my art with “#my art”

my main f/os are dave s.trider & c.handler bing but ive also got a couple more in the bag!

proship and closely associated please kindly don’t follow 🙏 strictly nsfw or 18+ blogs preferably dni too closely also . generally tho i’ll just block people i don’t want interacting

i think bi gays and bi lesbians are awesome and if you put them in your dni i will probably not want to talk to you sorry

f/o list, sharing boundaries, etc. below the cut!

for romantic f/os, my general policy is that i’m not particularly comfortable with sharing and while you’re free to follow or interact if we share f/os, keep in mind i’m less likely to follow back— this ofc does not apply if i follow first. platonic, familial, etc. f/os im totally fine with sharing, in fact i think thats awesome

also! i have no tagging system— that being said, if you want me to tag a certain ship for filtering purposes or similar, i’d be happy to do so!

characters i talk about in a romantic manner (some are f/os, some not, it’s complicated):

dave strider (homestuck) — f/o. thats my boyf riend . basically my first proper f/o i heart him lots 💗

chandler bing (friends) — f/o. thats also my boyf riend. my beloved sarcastic repressed boring yet not boring guy. this may come as a surprise but i also love him lots

hitch (ruby redfort) — f/o. i dont talk about him as much but i do love him. middle aged secret agent who’s afraid of crocodiles and is secretly silly :-)

prismo (adventure time) — f/o. also dont talk about him as much but i love him i prommy. idc that he’s 2D i will find a way to give him a kiss 🫡

jonny goodman (friday night dinner) — fictional crush or something i dont even know. i was briefly obsessed with him during my fnd interest period and i still hold him dearly and sometimes rewatch some fnd episodes and think of him

bernard black (black books) — i truly dont know tbh i just love black books and am a little obsessed with him. manny & fran too but i dont have gay little crushes on them so

jeremy usbourne (peep show) — practically an f/o atp but im in denial. side effect of my recent peep show obsession was developing a secondary obsession with this freak

rick (the young ones) — i maybeee have a teensy tiny crush on him. but i’ve not seen enough of the young ones yet to decide if i wanna ship with him or anything yet

characters i have some sort of weird little qpr situation with

foxy (fnaf) — idk how to explain it he was one of the first characters i started selfshipping with in some variety and i like him :-)

the nice cream guy (deltarune) — he’s a developed character 2 meeee. we’re gayass boy best friends

red guy (dhmis) — who knows but it’s not a normal friendship folks

characters that are my friendssss my familyyy etc. you get the idea

toriel & asgore dreemurr (deltarune) — my parents:)

kris & asriel dreemurr (deltarune) — my siblings:)

basically the entire rest of the main characters from the other medias ive already mentioned — my friends:)

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!! THANK YOU FOR READING :^)

[yuseirra]

Hii. Ive read you Aqukana analysis, its very good but i think you are missing the fact that you dont have to be an idol to be someones oshi. Gorou was sarina oshi and he wasnt an idol.

Hi anon! You're referring to this particular ask I answered here, right?

Good point, before I begin answering, I really would like to tell you all I really have a hard time arguing/debating/disagreeing with others, it's something I feel so nervous about, so um, whereas I enjoy talking and theorizing, imagining away... I don't really enjoy having to prove my point or to further explain how I feel the way I think, or discuss things that I'm not so prepared for. It's very selfish of me to be this way, right? But is is how I am... It's why I usually would refrain from talking so much because I hate disagreeing with people or having to explain myself...but I guess this fandom has things that initiate me to talk through those emotional barriers I have.

For this though!/// I can provide an even more detailed answer. Earlier in that ask, I wrote that Kana trying to be Aqua's "favorite idol" is actually what keeps her from becoming his lover.

This doesn't literally mean "idol" as a job. That's why I put a "" there! The word here is "oshi", right? and I think that's something very similar to being someone's stan? Someone you look up to, their favorite person... but you don't usually date someone you "stan", I believe. They're someone who you watch from afar and cheer for.

The idea of "oshi", the way I interpret it, does include the idea of "idolizing" and "fantasizing" about the other party. That makes you drift a bit further from actually having an understanding of said person, as you see them more as a figure you look up to, rather than someone you have an equal standing with. Sarina-Ruby says Sensei(Gorou) is her Oshi later on when Aqua gets pretty depressed, right? I forget which chapter exactly, but that's where I sort of figured that okay, that whole idea of her loving Aqua was resolved. She doesn't need to have Aqua as a lover(^^;;;;)in order to be happy. If he's happy, she would be too. Kind of like how watching your favorite idol from afar could bring you a smile. So AquaRuby won't happen, I believe. Not only that the idea of them being siblings would get in the way... that plot point was already sort of resolved the moment Ruby stated that Gorou is her oshi. Having him as an oshi is enough for Ruby.(thank goodness)

Kana is trying to become Aqua's "favorite idol" or "oshi" through being an idol. So the two are interconnected in her case. She dreams of Aqua looking only her with her glow stick and that's her idea of being his "oshi", but I feel like.. even if she becomes one last moment in her graduation concert, she'll step down from being an idol, right? She'll be back to being a "person" because her being an idol is what's made her his "oshi". And being a "person", a girl Aqua always had this romantic interest for, would be more ideal for her to actually achieve her desires of becoming his romantic partner. Kana has to choose between becoming Aqua's "oshi" or his date, and the fact that the plot made her wish to quit being an idol makes me think that they intend for the latter.

Hope this answers your question!

[jils-things]

JILLLL‼️ TACKLES YOU TO THE GROUND HELLOO... ask game 3, 7, 9, 10, 16 for Mrs. Jaide Stone please 🫶🩷 I know u already ramble a lot abt her and I probably already know almost everything, but I WANNA HEAR U RAMBLE STILL

GOODNESS GRACIOUS THAT IS A LOT. A LOOOOT. you trying to study her like a lil specimen for real and you know what. ill take that because she is nothing short of SMALL DETAILS she is so special to ME THANK U

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

let's go with gold first, of course, hehe. gold has witnessed her change a lot, she used to be very playful with gold - rollerskating and skateboarding together in the park. she was not as refined as she is today and she's certainly rough around the edges when she was younger! he loves her for being able to find time to play with him even as an older sister (who can be busy). he's aware that she's changed so much but it doenst change the fact he still knows her deep down and loves her regardless. he's usually very relaxed with her, but he also knows when not to step on the "you are fucked" territory but he still does anyway lol because she will. probably be a little irritated by him HDFJKSAHJSFAHHAA just because theyre close doesnt mean she doesnt drag him out of danger and reprimand all the time 😭😭😭its tough love and big sister energy this is normal.

sapphire ADORES her. she looks up to her, sees her as her guardian and she sometimes goes to her for comfort when it comes to emotions because she's pretty bad at controlling them, especially romantic feelings. jaide sees a lot of herself in sapphire and does her best to counsel her and push her to the right path :3 sapphire picks up wild berries for her!

i wanna mention wallace here because hes so funny to me for being closely connected to steven and ruby ok listen. jaide is like. hoooly shit. you are the flashiest man alive. what the fuck. (<- in her mind). ruby is such a big wallace fan. ruby would go to his mom and go mommmm mom i really look up to wallace i wanna be just like him and his ability to make pkm.n ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. ruby would show her how he looks like and shes like. oh..... ruby youre not gonna dress like that are you (SLASH LH IM REFERRING TO HIS ORAS OUTFIT ITS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME, LOOK IT UP) AND WALLACE IS CLOSE FRIENDS WITH STEVEN SO IMAGINE STEVEN GOING LIKE "honey i have a good friend of mine who has helped me a lot in the past. it would mean a lot to me if you met him too!" AND ITS WALLACE ASDJFAHFKSAGHSDDKJSDGJAS SORRY THIS HAS BEEN A RUNNING JOKE FOR ME I HAD TO MENTION IT. I PROMISE YOU I LIKE WALLACE AND EVEN MORE IN POKEMAS HES SO SWEET ASFSHDFSDJKHSDKJA

7. would any other characters (besides your f/o) have a crush on your self insert?

GOOD GRIEF LITTLE KNOWN FACT ABT ME AHSFDKGFDSGHSA I ALMOST FELL FOR PO.KESPE!BILL (YES THE ONE NERO IS KISSING) HAFSDJGHGDS BUT I RESTRAINED MYSELF LMAOOO so i guess i will associate him with that????? (THEY NEVER EVEN MET. CRACKSHIP TERRITORY LETS GO) i do wonder who would look cute next to madam stone however i would love to hear it sahsfdsajhf (no dont say riley im saving him AEHM) maybe himbos would cute next to her idkkk wiwiw guys help me find a cute crackship HEAUHAHAHAHHAA

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

AAIAUAUAUUU PROFESSOR SY.CAMORE!!!!!!!!!! WIWIWIWIWI (MY DAD IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE SHHH) steven has interacted with him in the anime and i loved it smmm huhu and they both have the common interest in mega stones and i think steven would take her with him to ka.los to meet sy.camore and they would get along very well!!! i think s.ycamore would be such a tease abt jaide being steven's wife ahuhuhu and he'd say stuff to make steven embarrassed. "dear jaide, did you know your - heh, husband steven tends to go on a daze when i mention your name? he's so fond of you that he had to bring you all the way here, huh?" and then he chuckles. STEVEN IS GONNA HAVE A WORD WITH HIM LATER 💥💥💥💥💥JAIDE ONLY LEARNED THIS TODAY AND WILL PROBABLY THINK OF THIS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY

can i say maroon hallo 🤓🤓🤓 NO BUT LIKE WWUWWAAA they are definitely best friends in my eyes, theyre both mothers and their son/brother are close with each other!!! how can i ignore that?!?!? maroon would always give her nice pastries for jaide and her family to eat - lots of well wishes from each other and i imagine jaide would occasionally visit ka.nto (since she also goes to jo.hto to say hi to her ma and brother) and they would just find a lot of solidarity with each other <333 heck i can even imagine if gold decided to visit silver and kris at maroon's place and jaide would call her and ask to watch over him wiwiiw JUST. MOMS BEING FRIENDS WWWWWW

10. how do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

AFJMSAKLGFSJGHSAFJSDFKSALGAS NUMBER ONE CONTENDER GOLD AGAIN GOTRDAMNIT GOLD WOULD NOT LIKE STEVEN AT FIRST because he thought he was a part of team rocket (he has the money, he wears an all black suit, something all team rock.et members wear, and gold's dumb brain thinking this makes sense to him) HES SO OVERPROTECTIVE TRUST ME ESP IN THE DATING PHASE DUDE WILLGET SO MAD IF JAIDE SAYS SHES GOING TO HO.ENN "no you are not talking to that blue haired kid" (aha reference) but is his complaining gonna stop? no <3 and then they get married and ruby is gold's nephew and now hes crying. whos winning huh? and whos the clown? gold. thank you.

eventually gold does warm up to steven and finds him to be a very fun battling rival,,, also would probably ask for cash because brother in law privilege i guess. LMFAO. yk steven doesnt mind that actually. jaide has told steven about her family so he knows when to be serious with him or not. he's a good man :3

overall i think many would not actually know about steven's love life because he's private about it. only certain people know about it (the dex.holders, jaide's/steven's family and friends, and zinnia unfortunately) steven is protecting her identity and he wants it that way because he's famous in ho.enn for many reasons. especially for the fact that he has a family, he's very protective of ruby because of the past events that occured and he hopes it wont happen again and it wont be exploited. the only tip of the iceberg knowledge that the public would know is that hes married, he has a child, thats all. heck, i bet people think it would be easy to spot steven's child for his classic blue hair BUT PLOT TWIST RUBY INHERITED 90% OF JAIDES DNA

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

jaide stone almost adopted blake (b.w2) before i settled with ilynne being connected to blake. cant believe nero called him blake stone once 💥💥💥💥 WAHUSAHUHFHSHFHSA

[richardsphere]

Rwby character-writing analasis thing.

Its really interesting to me how much RWBY as a series has changed in the post-beacon era. And while there are many differences i could write page-long essays about,  I think most of those are a story for another day. Today i want to talk about how the post S3 change in genre has negatively affected the strength of its characterwriting. (other topics might come up tangentially but wont be the focus.)

Beacon era RWBY was a verry slow, airy slice-of-life heavy show with only a bit of action sprinkled on top, like Fondant on a cake. It gave the characters plenty of time to breathe, interact and just share a chemistry together.  I’d even go so far as to say the early show was, 80 percent slice of life (at minimum), and maybe 20% action at most. Even “fight for our life” were permeated with moments of dialogue and lighthearted character-beats. (Ruby and Weiss talking out their squables mid-beowolf fight, Weiss VS Boarbatusk cutting to ruby’s little flags for example) ��But it should also be noted that, With exception to Pyrrha, who the show knew had only 3 seasons to be fleshed out. Most characters were left deliberately sort-of vauge so they can be deepened out when we get to their arcs later. (certainly they were given “goals” like “find Raven” or “redeem the Fang”, but anything more specific was left out for future writers to resolve). But in a post-beacon world, the showrunners put them into a constant no-time-for-breaks pacing has prevented much of that filling in, as the show repeatedly denied them any moment for them to just “exist” (as well as the infamous stories about how any scenes that do allow characters to do so, having all chemistry surgically removed by production to “prevent romantic spoilers”.) They cut out so much of its slice-of-life moments, that all levity happens either off-screen (Yang+Blake at the disco) or in the background of “actually important” plot-beats. (Meeting Jaune’s sister taking second-seat to a critical debrief re:Ozpin-being-full-of-shit) Not to say there’s been no progress at all on filling out the blanks left behind in their early characterisation but: Ruby’s 6 seasons of constant trauma, ended on a resounding concluding note that “she was fine as-is in S1E1″, meaning nine collective seasons of character development, amounts to a great “Status quo, but now with Laser-eyes”. Yang’s raven-issues “resolved” at the fall of haven, and did so in a rather unsatisfying in the way. Because her and Raven never really explored the abandonment issues beyond a vague “i know you dont care about me, I’ve decided the feelings mutual now Portal me to my sister/Hand me the damn relic”. (which doesnt feel like a resolution, but the show tries to frame it as a “going no-contact” resolution) Blake and Weiss have both actually had their core struggles in the world removed and tranposed onto adjacent characters instead of actually resolving their established “goals” in the world at large. (Weiss no longer wants to redeem the family business, thats Willow and Whitley’s job now, Blake no longer wants to redeem the Fang, thats Ghira and Ilia’s job). and although we now know how Ren and Nora came to be together, their atlas arc only emphasises that even they still dont know who they are themselves.  Same for Ozpin, pf whom we now know how he came to be cursed, he spent so much time dormant “regaining his oldest memories” that we only know we dont know him either.  Six additional seasons of writing for these characters, and they are all (with possible exception to yang) either back at square one, or in BW’s case have somehow stumbled themselves back to square zero. The only character that’s gotten “more” fleshed out in a way that satisfies on a narrative level is Jaune. (to the point that i cant even fault elements of the fandom criticising the show for being “The Jaune Show”) And even that is only because of how well-realised Pyrrha was at time-of-death, It really says something about the drop quality in the shows post-beacon characterisation that Pyrrha is more well-written in absentia then the entirety of the shows namesake team combined. and that is just plain tragic.

[lilisouless]

You may have already covered this before… but,

I was/am rewatching SAB season 1. Is it just me or does it seem (at this point in the show) like they’re trying to make Zoya simply be this mean bully who is jealous of Alina because of her ‘feelings’ for the Darkling?

Like the scene where Zoya tries to talk Alexsander out of following after Alina (and pointing out Alina ‘may’ have run off rather than having been taken)… at the end when the Darkling ‘chooses Alina’, they have Zoya throw this hissy fit of sorts in response.

Oh the can of worms you just opened, sit down because you founds yourself on a middle ground scape situation, hope you have the patience.

The thing is that people blame the showrunners for "ruining Zoya" (which i say "are you dense?") when its actually 50% on them and 50% on Leigh.

Because one of the reasons i dont' like (i actually kind of hate) the first two thirds of the first shadow and bone book (the one the first season takes in count) is that the characterization there is ATROCIOUS, it improves on the third act (which Zoya isn't there as i remember) but its really hard to get trought, specially how she went out of her way to make a military setting into a high school stereotype. My point is: LEIGH created Zoya as a misoginistic caricature, the typical mean girl who the protagonist hates and viseversa because for some reason every woman in the first book is a bitch except Genya (who turns out to be a traitor to Alina anyway) as a way to justify Alina hating them. So yes, book!1 Zoya IS a mean bully who is jelaous of Alina and whetever her feelings for her darkling are suppused to be romantic there is irrelevant because she was still shown to be competing with Alina for his affections (whatever the nature of this are)

In some parts it actually improves the book, for starters Zoya is on the final battle, allowing her to show her mourn over Liliyanna and Lada, making sure the audience knows she was never a character to be hated and the beef with Alina is over, even without the release of season 2 you knew their relationship was going to be diferent from book 2 (hang in there) you are allowed to feel for Zoya and she is ultimately made out to be way more sympatetic than the darkling.

"But Zoya is never shown coming onto men!"

Well, you are completely wrong. Book 3, the best one of the trilogy, the one that has more ups than down and the characters are actually on line with their future personality and everyone (except Sergei 🙄) is mostly likeable, even that book has Zoya said she came into Mal many times after they had sex once. This was to high up Alina´s character of course.

The whole Zoya/Mal thing to me never made sense, it should had been Ruby, i will die on that hill, it makes more sense since i don't see Zoya going to illegal grisha fights or jumping over guys to kiss them.

So i will be forever grateful Zoya was spared from that love triangle bullshit on season 2, it never made sense, it was never in her fate and it would only make the audience slutshame zoya to no end (something Alina, and by extention Leigh did a lot of book 2 and 3).

Also want to point out that other small things the show improved was simply not making the other female characters hate her. Nadia and Marie in the book can't stand her (despite them being just as catty) while on the show there are little lines

"i can't believe she did that" "she is just jealous" "she could be with me"

Nadia and Marie don't hate Zoya on the show, they seem to be surprised she would trow a fit in the middle of a practice which to me implies that they think higher of her and don't bathmouth her since they are right to call her out on what she did to Alina. Is little changes but it makes me feel they actually see Zoya as the general she is, instead of the high school mean girl.

Also, about the scene you are asking, sure is not on the books but there is one equivalent, there is one were zoya leaves Kirigan´s room crying AND Alina and Genya trow her out of her room while she is still down. Zoya doesn't appear after that, Alina never questions anything so , you as the reader are supposed to laught at Zoya´s misery, thats Leigh´s intention there. This is one scene the show didn't improve for almost the same reasons, and we´ll see them later

Doesn't mean i don't like book zoya, i do a lot mostly for the nik duology but she does have a good growth on the gt books, Leigh failed in some things but not on making it clear that at the end of the day she is another victim of a militarized emviroment and that just because a person has a mean personality , doesn't mean they are actually evil and they can always improve.

Okay, enought of defending the show, lets drag down that bitch now.

For the starters i agree the show lacked some of Zoya´s vain,mocking and kind of bitchy traits, there were some speecs but was watered down, some of her jabs were certainly missed.

The only scenes with Zoya that i think were ulter trash was the half breed comment (uncalled for, doesn't even fit with her character since show!zoya is not actually racist,just a jerk, and overall stupid because "peasant" has the same effect) I`ll be quick with this but there are my thoughts: i don't think Zoya is supposed to be actually racist on the show, that she said it to hurt Alina which is just as wrong, but the writers were awfully tone deaf and didn't calculated that people will actually think she will be seen as racist, like thats one way to set her up to be hated.

The other scene is the one you made the ask for:

Gonna say this first, the thing about this scene that pissed me off the most , as a crow stan, is how she doesn't seem to care that Nina is gone (but at this point no one on the show cares about Nina, do i have to mention that anytime?). But to the point, this is the equivalent of the room scene and this is my take:

Zoya coming into Kirigan is not out of character for show!Zoya and, after some revisions, maybe not quite for book!Zoya, depending on how you see their relationship there. The problem to me was the same of the book version; the framing. Am i supposed to feel that Kirigan is a disgusting creep for sleeping with the girl he raised? i am,of ocurse. But thats not the message it is "oh look. he is choosing Alina over her!" and there is no comdemed for him where it should be.

Her being and feeling rejecting is honestly not a bad thing, not only it did happen on the books, the show version was a little more sympathetic BUT the problem was their bonner on the darkling and the refusal on making him seem like the creep he is. The thing is that they have been able to learn from Leigh`´s mistakes so i don't see why they would keep the tone of one of the worst parts of the book.

I think they were not setting Zoya as just a mean bully, but as a "oh look, you thought she was a mean bully but she is actually not" like yeah , because thats how you CHOOSE to paint her! By this point the Nikolai duology was already out , at least the first book, so they had no excuse on NOT making Zoya´s character closer to there, since they improved Alina,Nadia and Marie ,Fedyor and Ivan were kind of forgetable on the book and this is just my opinion but to me Genya was improved too, so why not do the same for Zoya, like actually get her in line with her KoS character since it´s already there? They made KAZ nicer but couldn't extent the courtesy for her?

Would it be so hard to Zoya smile ,strug and go "your loss" get out of that room flipping her hair , chin up and go to her room where she either trows a rage of wind or hugs a pillow to tear on it, that would take care of both the hurt of being rejected , the realization that she was that reempleazable. This wouldn't hint that he raised her but at least the sympathy would be on her. Also have her heard about Nina on another time and actually be surprised and a look of concern, maybe some blink and you`ll miss post scene where she is looking for dallias. Would that be so hard? i literally pitched it in one minute, payed writers can't do it better? (btw, out of the subject but they do need to pay their writers,sorry for the out of topic, just wanted to adress it)

I think many people, incluiding me, went out of season 1 feeling like the writers hate Zoya when the overall character is honestly a little watered down compared to the book but not quite awful, is just that she had two atrocious scenes that seemed to overshadow anything else.

Sorry for all that, but there was a lot to unpack. I just think Show!Zoya get critism for the wrong reasons

[laverrez]

bold of you to assume i would ever ship blake with sun when i have such strong opinions about how shitty his character is and how neither miles nor kerry know how to write a caring friend without making him a creepy stalker that wont respect boundaries.

(it's almost like they're both also creeps. huh. imagine.)

maybe v1-3 blacksun was okay, but volume 4 really fucked that right up the ass, and not in the fun way my bf does.

i might prefer monochrome (or even freezerburn) to bees, but that doesnt mean i wouldve wanted either of them to happen right now either. the timing sucks ass. we shouldve done this shit in volume 7 during the "everything will be fine and happy and lets eat cake" period. if bees had happened then, while i still would be frustrated at the lack of blake getting independence time, i really wouldnt have minded as much. it happening just episodes before ruby committing suicide, to the point where the bees are still riding their high and didnt really care, sucks. everything about the volume sucked, but bees will continue and now they'll leave a bad taste in my mouth for eternity.

i dont like blacksun. i dont even like sun as a character in canon (im trying to get better about fanon sun, because he's not a creep that the writers projected their shit onto). i dont hate the bees, i hate their timing, and i hate that the writers forced blake into a relationship without ever giving her a single moment of being more than a romantic interest for someone.

it's so wickedly shallow to accuse anyone of being a queerphobe or a lesbiphobe because they have problems with a ship or a ship timeline. get a better argument, babe.

[onewomancitadel]

(ok once more) i just wanna clarify that when i said cinder gets beaten i didnt mean it in a "shes always failing" kind of way, because part of cinders character is that shes incredibly crafty in ways people far more experienced than her just dont match (just like jaune always being underestimated) but i meant like Literally getting her ass beat despite having her maiden powers. even though she has her defining powers, what makes her Important in the story, cinder still gets her ass kicked because an opponent has a "Better" special power against her (like ruby) or shes just fully outmatched with the same power (like raven). what i was calling attention to is the broader idea that none of them can Slay the Dragon, but jaune Can slay it, except instead of doing it as a typical fairy tale hero, hes going to do it as himself (with compassion)

Oh wow thank you for the clarification, anon! I always appreciate it, and I really like what you've articulated here! I think it does still connect to that relationship of failure/success (e.g. losing against Raven means she can't secure the Spring Maiden power which is a good thing - also, in the case of Raven specifically, Raven is more advanced in the triple goddess mother maiden crone cycle, lol - she's the Mother, meaning Cinder is being lessoned here), but you're right in that no, Jaune is not meant to slay the dragon. Not the point. That relationship of 'failure' - even in the Haven sequence he shouldn't be fighting her, and that whole idea is rejected! - and success is still really prominent.

The irony here is, of course, is that Ruby holds the symbolic key to purifying Cinder of her Dark Curse - it's not actually an objectively threatening power, it's threatening insofar as Cinder cannot accept her situation has room to change (and Salem has misled her). I mean look at this, right after Salem has offered her hand to manipulate Cinder and stop her realising how bad things really are, post-torture:

This is absolutely the face of someone who doesn't see a way out.

But yes, that craftiness - which they both share, and FUCK, I want them to work together SO BADLY - that idea that Jaune is the person who figures out the different way around things, and what the real problem is, and who needs help? Hello?????

The dragon is the maiden both, you can't kill this dragon. Not in this story. So what are you going to do? What's the actual answer? I just can't ignore the romantic implications here. I just simply cannot. Healer-knight both. Come on.

It's that idea I keep coming back to, which is that people have speculated Jaune was going to die to Cinder's fire since Volume 1. Is there some... other... symbolic rendering of this? Passionate ardour.

[onetoothpig]

uhh. panel de pon, i dont know any ships you like so the most favorite out of the ones you dont particularly care abt..?? and i gues ssig...??????? brainfog

Actually, Panel De Pon fans are pretty sparse, so the fandom as I know it is pretty dormant most of the time.

[Note: Tetris Attack is a reskin of Panel De Pon which changes the characters to ones from Yoshi's Island (well, almost, Tetris Attack features Bowser as an adult, whereas in YI he was a baby). Also, there was a sequel of sorts made for the Nintendo 64 (known as Panel De Pon 64) but it was never released. It was ported to the Japan-only Nintendo Puzzle Collection on the GameCube, though.]

Anyways, on to the questions...

Favorite character: Aw man, do I really have to pick? I love the character designs in this series! I guess my absolute favorites would have to be Seren/Selene from the original PDP (since she seems to be a big fan of Queen Serenity from Sailor Moon) and Think from Panel De Pon 64 (her hair is made of ice, and she has cool odangos. plus she wears a T-shirt and shorts which is cool).

Least Favorite character: Although I don't really hate him, I guess I could put in Thanatos. I don't like how smug and goofy he looks.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Okay, maybe not 5, but the text after you defeat Ruby in the original reads "Ruby began to like Lip a lot!" and I took that and ran with it

Character I find most attractive: Either Selene or Cordelia. Cordelia knows how to make an entrance.

Character I would marry: As mentioned previously, Cordelia has swag.

Character I would be best friends with: I imagine Windy would be a fun friend. Elias ans Lip would make good companions as well.

a random thought: The green hills on the background of the map in the original PDP have beady little eyes, which means Panel De Pon is a part of the Mario universe.

An unpopular opinion: I think Ruby's theme fits a little more for Flutter's flowery stage in Tetris Attack than it does for Ruby's gem-themed stage, but it might just be me.

My Canon OTP: I dunno, does Ruby x Lip count as canon? It was one line in the game, and I don't know if they meant it that way...

My Non-canon OTP: As mentiones earlier, Ruby and Lip.

Most Badass Character: Flare, Rayea, and Think.

Most Epic Villain: Cordelia. If you're playing on Hard (or god forbid Hardest) she can be on tough cookie.

Pairing I am not a fan of: None come to mind.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): This isn't really a screw-up, but I wish the fairies had a little more dialogue in the games. They really only get a few lines at most, so their personality can't really shine.

Favourite Friendship: I've been reading up in the PDP wiki and apparently Think and Pure are friends and play pranks together! I like that.

Character I most identify with: Neris likes to sing. I can well vibe with that.

Character I wish I could be: Kain! He has cool fireballs in his artwork.

Now onto the undeniably autistic bug boy himself. Here's Sig!

How I feel about this character: Sig's a good character. He can get a little too distracted, and seems to have a one-track mind at times, but I love when he gets to infodump about bugs, and his knowledge usually does come in handy.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Amitie! They're cute, and as nokisotheraccount said, they really do support each other.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: None really come to mind.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I dunno if this is unpopular or not, but Sig is not overrated, nor have I really seen him flanderized in any way.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Can we get more of Sig infodumping? His entomology knowledge actually saved the Primp Trio once, and I really wanna see more of situations like that.

Favorite friendship for this character: They aren't really friends, but I like Sig's interactions with Raffina. They're funny!

My crossover ship: No ships here, I'm afraid, but I saw a post that said Sig and Thiana from Panel De Pon would be good friends. Also, Sig's theme in Puyo Puyo 20th Anniversary sounds kinda like Neris' theme from Panel De Pon. I dunno, maybe they could talk about water bugs together or something.

[dirtydancingdean]

✨ fic recs ✨

ok so back in like 2014 i watched supernatural for a solid 3 years until they killed kevin and charlie and i got bored of the bmol storyline. now im here again let’s not talk about it. BUT during this time i accumulated a Lot of fic and in the past two months i’ve gone through all 213 of my bookmarks and gone through like every rec list made after s12 in order to read fic set during every specific season while i rewatch the show. because im insane <3 im on s8 rn and wanted to share my list of favourites from each season so far as well as my favourite aus ! they’re all generally nsfw so minors be careful, and also check the warnings ! and i will update this when i finish s15 <3

aus

asunder by rageprufrock (23.8k, e, background samruby)

obviously the most perfect thing to ever exist. 

and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets (56k, m, background saileen)

poet dean fic need i say more. part dean studies if dean studies was elaborated on lovingly in detail for 56k words, part gorgeous and beautiful poetry, part incredibly clever commentary on meta and fan allusions, and part stunning exploration of the relationships in the show turned on their heads.  

one white little lie by komodobits (11k, gen)

this is SOOO cute. cas is so embarrassing i was covering my face the entire time i was reading it. if u want to be cheered up. read this. 

broadway musical by griftings (12k, m)

this is genuinely sooo funny. big “castiel did you fuck the michael sword” energy and jimmy novak as that “am not against gays” tweet, plus jo <3

c-s-t-l by komodobits (90k, m)

i haven't read this in a while but from what i remember it was incredible and also had cassie <3 

rest is under the cut because it got long fhjfkfklf

pre-series/season 1-3*

a turn of the earth by microcomets (time travel, 95k, standford era, m)

i think everyone’s read this at this point but if u haven't. what are u doing. go read it. it’s absolutely everything i reread it in the week before the finale without remembering half of the stuff it talked about and i was a WRECK. if u think about standford era dean every day read this. cas punches john winchester in the FACE. 

geography by aeli_kindara (3k, teen and up, warnings for discussion of rape/non-con and prostitution)

not dean/cas but a really wonderful and needed conversation with sam and dean during 2x02.

season 4

so says the sword by komodobits (85k, e)

yeah. i dont need to say anything.  

consequences of falling by fayjay (37k, e, background samruby, warnings for rape/non-con)

THISSSS FIC. pls it’s perfect literally everything i wanted when i was watching s4 and obsessed with love as an act of worship + ruby and cas parallels. ruby and cas get drunk together! ruby says this: “dean and castiel sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes the fall from grace, then comes battling the hosts of hell and wishing that you’d managed to get your skinny ass laid before the freaking apocalypse”! what more could u want!

named by rc_machlan (94k, m)

literally the best fic in the world i am not going to say Anything if you love dean and angels and the mythology of s4-s5 that was promptly dropped, you absolutely have to read this.

four people ruby seduced & one she actually fell for (or: ruby's epic love affair with humanity in general and sam in specific) by tuesday (3.7k, e, samruby, ruby/jo)

this is more background deancas than anything else and does contain brief, not romantic in any way dean/ruby and dean/cas, but like. if u love ruby (which i do) u have to read this.

season 5

final fantasy by orange_crushed (1.9k, m)

endverse.....this made me want to die

the (mostly accidental) courtship of dean winchester by tuesday (11k, m)

a classic for a reason. really cute and soft and the handprint and cas beating dean up in 5x18 are angelic marriage rites. what more could you ask for.

the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock (15k, explicit)

of Course i mean of COURSE. thee s5 deancas fic.

strike me down and i’ll come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine by trinityofone (10k, gen)

post 5x22 dean and cas rescue sam from hell with the help of some special guests. PERFECT. the only valid good omens crossover.

season 6**

something stupid by zatnikatel (20k, e)

this broke my heart and put it back together. one of my favourite cas characterizations, takes place over s5-s6 and it’s just stunning. 

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (11k, teen and up)

s4 cas ends up in the body of cas in 6x20. fucking life-ruining.

season 7

make known by domesticadventures (16k, teen and up)

this is a really heartbreaking look at dean’s headspace near the end of s6 and throughout s7, and it’s really wonderful with a hopeful ending.

redemption road by a whole bunch of people (652k, virtual season, explicit)

oh boy. ok. know ur herstory ! this was written from 2011 to 2012 and it is thee s7 fic, a virtual season written by 17 fans all together. it’s very very long and it suffers sometimes from having being written a decade ago, but im making my way through it right now and it still fucking holds up. i really do recommend reading at least some of it, you can stop around halfway through and you should be fine.

season 8***

rinse, repeat by ias (3k, teen and up)

exploration of cas when naomi forces him to kill copies of dean and then his perspective in goodbye stranger.

my keeper by whelvenwings (5k, gen)

another goodbye stranger fic, this time with bonus artist cas!

though the course may change by imogenbynight (51k, e)

au after 8x23. i love this fic so much. dean accidentally ends up making himself have to go undercover with cas and pretend to be fake engaged. also, charlie and kevin. do i need to say more.

apres by imogenbynight (24k, e)

au after 8x23 where dean goes to find cas after the angels fall in paris 🥺

*i have found exactly one bela fic that i loved, and zero henriksen fics that i loved, so IF u have recs for those. i would appreciate that.

**mostly the s6 fics i read were uh...vampire dean fics...

***have found one (1) good dean/aaron fic but im still searching for the perfect purgatory crew fics 

[spohkh]

Hi hello!!! Will you please tell me some of your ofmd headcanons??

hello hi!!! here are some thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain :-)

stede helps brush out ed's hair ONCE (one (1) time) and after that ed's like oh okay this is going to be your job forever now ❤️ so every night stede will brush it out and braid it for him. VERY important part of their nightly routine that also soothes ed into sleep :-)

VERY obsessed w the idea of stede being like. im a pirate. i NEED a tattoo. the convo i imagine is like theyre just lying in bed and stedes looking at eds tattoos and is like hmmm... i think i should get one. and eds like. holy shit absolutely. but of what? stede: maybe the flag of the revenge? ed: LOL which one we have like 5. stede: all of them! why not!! right down my arm! ed: stede i admire your ambition but maybe start small. anyway i think itd be cute for ed to give stede like a small stick-and-point star or something on his hand and then eventually they will get matching lighthouse tattoos thanks ❤️

weve already seen that stedward are CANONICALLY that annoying ass lovey-dovey couple and i KNOW once theyre actually together its going to be a ZILLION times worse and the crew of the revenge is going to be like voluntarily walking the plank just to get away. its not even necessarily PDA its just this like aura of Devoted Love they give off that has a 5-mile radius its insane. lucius and pete are like we openly make out in front of people but somehow yall are even more annoying. fish in the sea are like bro. the thought i keep having is of stede holding a meeting and at the end hes like ok any questions? and ed goes yeah ive got a few questions and the crew collectively groans and is like alright meetings officially over see ya. and stedes like what??? no its not!! lucius: every single time ed has a "question" at the end of our meetings that he needs to "ask in private" and then we dont see you guys for like an hour he just means he wants to make out. we know bc you guys are NOT quiet. and it happens LITERALLY every time. stede: thats not true! that. well. it doesnt happen EVERY time. does it? (looks at ed) ed: no yeah it does sorry but you being all captainy really gets me going. stede: oh! ed: yeah ok so lets go. and stedes like well cant argue w that

stede almost immediately starts using my love and darling and sometimes sweetheart at ed which makes ed absolutely high-five angels every time hes like ME??? ...ME... and conversely while i think ed may OCCASIONALLY call stede like, babe, or even love, i dont think any word will compare to just saying stede's name for him. but also he DOES keep calling stede mate, which he canonically uses a ridiculous amount and absolutely means it in a "dude (romantic)" way

on marriage: i really really love the idea of them exchanging rings in a literal sense, as in stede giving ed his turquoise ring and ed giving stede one of his ruby rings. i also have a different thought abt what they might do instead of a ring exchange but i shant say here bc im writing it into a fic :-) i also like the idea of them being like. ok we're husbands. like fuck a "proper ceremony" or whatever they just decide it and its law and then they throw a shipwide party after that the end

ok let me stop here but these are the main thoughts haunting my brain recently! :^)

[chokemeanakin]

I dont know if you are taking requests but if you are, could you please write something where reader has trouble masturbating, every time she tries she just CANT, so anakin (theyre just friends but they always had lots of sexual tension) helps her out and does it for her so she cums for the first time. THANK YOU!!!

A Dream Come True - Anakin Skywalker x fem Reader (smut)

Masterlist

Read it on ao3

Wc: 5.4k

A low warmth is rising in your belly, pulled from the depths by your wandering fingers. They’re working against your clit, rubbing it side to side, faster and hard, trying so desperately to remain in that warm haze of pleasure you’ve spent so long building up. It feels good, but you need more. 

The many late nights spent with your girlfriends cross your mind, and how you would sit by idly during each one as they discussed their own personal affairs in the bedroom. You were the least experienced, but listened in awe as they told you the latest on what their partners have done to surprise them in bed. How they made them scream and shake, their eyes roll back into their head, and cum all over until they couldn’t take anymore.

You were too embarrassed to admit you’d never felt that way before. You thought you were broken.

Which is why you’re here, fingers glued to your hard nub, rubbing furiously to try and get yourself to feel something. You do feel something, but it’s not earth-shattering, leg-shaking, eye-rolling like your friends had described. Frustration fuels your movements as you attack your clit, holding your breath, forcing the warmth to build and build and build--

Nothing.

Your arm aches with the strain as you halt your movements, chest heaving when you allow yourself to breathe. Self-pity outweighs your disappointment as the subtle warmth dissipates, any pleasure that you had given yourself slipping away. 

Broken, a small voice whispers inside your head. There’s something wrong with you.

What other reasoning could there be to explain why you can’t feel good? 

Maybe, you argue, there needs to be something inside. That was always a big topic of discussion with your friends, how they “loved being filled.” Gathering your wits, you move your finger down, exploring your folds until you find your opening. Squeezing your eyes shut, you push a finger in, wincing at the sudden intrusion. 

It stings more than anything, but you’re desperate so you decide to give it a chance. You’ve tried this before, and it’s never felt like anything more than a finger inside of you-- which is exactly what it is. And now, this situation proves to be the same. You feel around, hoping to find that spot everyone raves about, but your fingers are too short and the angle is weird. You push your finger in and out like how you think you’re supposed to, and it feels like nothing.

Maybe you need two?

You let another finger join the one that’s already inside, struggling to get it in. 

Ow, you wince as your body rejects the intrusion. Your heartbeat picks up, a sudden anxiety joining the whirlwind of exasperation and discontent that has come from this situation. Is it supposed to hurt this much? The remnants of the need to satisfy yourself are still present, so you try again.

Making it back to your apartment had been a relief this evening, as all day you had been battling a relentless urge down below. You’re not too proud to admit that your… situation… had been a direct result of spending the day with Anakin, a good friend of yours who needed help finding a data entry in the corner of the Temple library. The entry supposedly had something to do with a cloaking mechanism for battleships, and when you had asked why he needed it when the Republic already had cloaking mechanisms, he mentioned that he was trying to translate the same technique to his own personal starship. No battlecraft as small as his has that ability, and with a ship as fast as his, it would give him a huge advantage on the battlefield. 

You could listen to him talk about it all day.

You virtually had, as the data entry was just one small piece of paper-- a piece of scrap blueprint scrawled on a fragile, worried edge of some larger text, worn with time. You spent hours searching all over for it. Once you had finally dug it out of a dusty box in the deepest corner of the library, Anakin had lifted you into the air effortlessly, swinging you around as he hugged you and laughed.

You had walked home with a damp spot in your underwear, an undeniable throb that needed to be relieved. 

He had no idea. No idea that his hands shot sparks up your spine as they closed around your waist. That his laugh turned your blood to lava, and his beautiful, smiling face made your heart skip a beat. He had no idea that he is the cause of your desperation, the reason you are torturing yourself by dangling an unknown pleasure before your face, knowing you can’t have it. 

You manage to sink your second finger in a little, but the sting is too much, and you have to pull them both out.

Broken.

The door to your apartment suddenly swings open, and you throw your sheets over your bare legs in a panic. Your eyes find the clock next to your bed-- Shit. You’d lost track of the time. 

The sound of those boots are unmistakable, and you find that praying you’re wrong is pointless when he calls out your name. 

“Y/n--?” Anakin rounds the corner to peer into your room, features lighting up when he finally finds you. Curious eyes roam over your figure, wondering why you’re in bed when it was barely evening. “Are you feeling okay?”

Your cheeks flame with heat, and you can’t find the words to explain yourself out of this situation. Mentally, you’re beating yourself up for losing track of time, especially since you knew Anakin was coming over tonight. While searching for the data log, you mentioned you had always wanted to try his favorite childhood drink-- ruby bliels-- and he promised he’d treat you tonight after you found the blueprint. It was his thank you gift to you, but now you needed to find a way to get him out of your apartment before he realized what was going on.

Your mouth hangs open like a gaping fish, and you know it’s too late. Anakin’s brain is as fast as his superhuman reflexes, and you can see the gears click into place as his eyes flit from your red cheeks, to the messy covers strewn over your legs, to the crumpled panties lying discarded on the floor. Your hand is even still frozen between your legs, your activities becoming clear as he senses the remnants of pleasure and disappointment still hanging around the room. 

“Oh…” is all he says, looking lost for a moment. You expect him to apologize and turn away, run out of the apartment and then never speak to you again. You wouldn’t blame him. Finding a friend in this position can never be a comfortable experience.

Instead a slow smirk crawls onto his face, and he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. “You need some help with that?”

You should have known. The smug little bastard-- of course he’d find this amusing. Your face grows impossibly redder, and you wish a black hole would just open beneath you already and swallow you up. Anakin finds your humiliation endearing, and laughs good-naturedly. 

“Alright, okay, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to it,” he slinks out of the doorway, crooking his finger in the air to close the door after him. “I’ll be in the kitchen setting up for the bliels when you’re done--”

“Wait!”

You’re just as shocked as he is at the words that leave your mouth. He freezes in place, the door still open a crack. There’s too many thoughts running through your head right now, but the one that stands out the most has you pulling your hand away from your center, sitting up in bed so you can address him clearly. 

You never thought you’d be able to speak these words to him. For so long, you had wanted him in every way possible. But he’s a Jedi, unable to form attachments, and more than that-- a friend. A very good friend. And breaching the topic that you know you both feel for each other had the potential to ruin it all. 

But the minute he had opened that door, still dressed in that black leather armor, hair perfectly curled and messy, so tall and strong and devilishly handsome leaning against your doorframe-- he was beautiful, and you’d be a fool not to take advantage of his offering. Even if it might have been a joke. 

You had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t. 

“I… I do need help.”

There. You said it. And you’re pretty certain the only reason you could force the words past your lips is because his back is still facing you. But then he opens the door again, turns to meet your eyes, and cocks his head.

“Really?”

You’re not sure how to feel about the concern on his face. You guess it’s better than him being disgusted, or awkward, or uncomfortable. And it’s not an outright rejection. That realization gives you the push you need to explain yourself.

“I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Now he looks concerned. Walking a few steps into the room, he stops by the edge of your bed and folds his arms across his chest. He’s studying every inch of you, reaching into the force to try and gauge the nature of your words. “What do you mean?”

He’s standing so close now, you can see the blue of his eyes and the wrinkle between his furrowed brows. It does nothing to calm your sizzling nerves. However, you’re concrete on your desires now. While you would have liked to confess your feelings for him in a more… romantic way, the intensity of your need for him in this very moment overshadows rational thought. Besides, it’s not like this is a declaration of love. That could always come later. For right now, you need his help, and you’re certain that you can trust him not to make fun of you or shame you for trying in if he declines.

“I can’t…” you take a deep breath, staring at your hands in your lap. “I can’t make myself feel good.”

Your voice is so quiet, embarrassed and ashamed, but he catches the yearning under it all. His face smooths, comforted by the fact that you’re not injured or dying in some way. Deep down, something sparks alive in his veins. 

That’s the issue? Well… it’s definitely something he can help you with.

“Hmm.” His face is thoughtful as he scans your position. His hand gestures vaguely down your body. “Do you want to show me what you’re doing?”

Your blood freezes at his request. For some reason, it didn’t cross your mind how asking for his help would require him to see you… naked. 

“If you’re too embarrassed, we can just--”

You cut off his words by throwing the blanket off. There, like ripping off a bandaid. His eyes drink in the exposed skin of your legs, and although they’re closed and he can’t be seeing much more than he’s already seen before, they darken. A small twitch of his fingers, and the door clicks shut behind him. 

He takes a seat on the side of the bed, next to your legs, and rests his metal hand on your knee. Your heart beats like a hummingbird's wings at the sudden proximity, and the nerves pile up again at the thought of what’s going to happen.

“Wait-- um… actually, can you come here?” 

You reach out to take his metal hand from your knee, and pull him up the bed so that he’s hovering over you. He’s still sitting, the upper half of his body twisted toward you, caging you in with a hand on either side of you. He’s smiling softly, and his eyes twinkle with something fond.

He doesn’t need to ask to know that you’re nervous. The rigidity in your muscles, the flightyness of your eyes, the hammer of your heart-- he can feel it all, and he wants nothing more than to quell your fears. So he lifts an arm to cup your face in his large hand, smoothing a thumb over your cheekbone in a silent request for you to look at him.

Once you muster up the courage to meet his eyes, his smile grows, and he says something that steals your breath.

“Can I kiss you?”

Oh, how long you’ve wanted him to say those words to you. Countless nights, you’d run them through your head, imagining all the scenarios in which it could happen. Certainly, this was not one of them, but you definitely aren’t going to complain.

You don’t trust yourself to speak, so you give him a nod, and lean forward a fraction in invitation. Your veins sing with anticipation, warmth spreading from your cheeks to every small nook and cranny of your body as he angles your face up toward his. Your eyes flutter close, and he leans down, and--

Bliss.

His lips are warm against yours, soft, applying the gentlest of pressures. You always thought he’d be a good kisser-- he was experienced, and he’d hinted at some of his more scandalous escapades a couple times in passing conversation. You’d asked him before, how he could do that when Jedi aren’t allowed to form attachments, which resulted in him going into a full lecture on how non-attachment didn’t translate to abstinence being “The Jedi Way”, even if it was supported within the Order. Really, it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anything, until he fell on the defensive position that he was almost certain Obi-Wan had done stuff as well.

Which-- great. Now you realized you were less experienced than even two Jedi. 

These thoughts are snuffed out like candles, one by one, as Anakin kisses you. In fact, your whole mind goes blank, a wave washing over all of your worries away and dragging them out to sea. You’re drifting on that wave, drowning in the heady feel of him, the warm taste of him. His slow inhale reminds you to breathe as he moves his lips against yours languidly. It’s heaven, the way he’s yours for just this moment. He might not think anything of this kiss, but to you, it’s like your deepest fantasies are coming true. With each moment that passes where he tilts his head and closes his lips over yours, you can pretend that he is yours, completely and unconditionally.

Eventually he pulls back, eyes fluttering open, and you realize you’re still lost at sea.  

“Good?” his voice is low and raspy as his gaze bores into yours. You wonder if he knows how intense his eyes can be sometimes. 

“Yes.”

He presses another quick kiss to your lips, your heart spasming at the act, before he trails kisses down your jaw, tasting the skin of your neck. Your breath picks up again, hands finding his curls as you gasp at the feeling. His teeth skim over the junction of your neck and shoulder, and he presses a kiss to your throbbing pulse. He means for the kisses to be distracting, soothing, so that you’ll be more comfortable with him, and he thinks it’s working until a faint moan leaves your mouth.

So it’s really working.

Anakin’s eyes flick up to yours, and you can feel the smirk against your skin. Embarrassment crashes down on you again but Anakin repeats the motion, nipping at your skin and then smoothing his tongue over the mark, sucking gently to try to elicit another reaction. You gift him one against your will, and suddenly he’s got lava pouring into his veins.

You’re so lost in the feeling of his mouth on you that you don’t even realize his warm hand has travelled from your face, down the middle of your body, gripping onto the pliant flesh of your thigh and pulling you toward him. You let him, rolling your body into him to try and relieve that reappearing ache in your center. 

It’s the same feeling that had built up all day, and it’s returned with a vengeance. You can feel the wetness seep out, slicking your thighs up. Your clit throbs and your pussy clenches around nothing, begging for something to satisfy the ache. You rub your thighs together to help, but Anakin slides a hand to the inside of your thigh and coaxes your legs apart. Any embarrassment you felt before has been beat out by a yearning for his touch, the need to have his fingers on you, inside you--

“Show me how you’ve been doing it,” Anakin mumbles into your neck.

You open your eyes, pulled up from the haze of pleasure he’d submerged you in. Your hand only shakes slightly as you release his hair and bring it back to your skin. He pulls back a few inches to watch, the heat of his body so close to yours causing goosebumps to erupt all over your body. 

His eyes hone in on your hand, following its descent to your warm center. You still can’t wrap your head around the fact that someone is seeing you like this, but now your veins sing with a satisfied realization that he’s the one seeing you like this. He’s the only one who ever has. And he seems to like what he’s seeing.

You don’t miss the way he inhales, the way his teeth capture a sliver of his bottom lip as your fingers finally reach your heat. You begin to do what you’ve always done-- rub your fingers back and forth over your nub, working that pleasure from it.

It feels good, different than what it felt like when you were alone. You’re sure his eyes on you, the proximity, his mere presence has something to do with that. You can still taste him on your lips and you close your eyes, licking them to relive the kiss. You focus on the warmth of his body, the dip of the bed where his arm is planted beside you, the weight of his other hand still holding your thigh open, the scent of his black leather and spice of his shampoo. It definitely feels better when he’s here, the knowledge of him watching adding to your excitement.

But still, you can only build yourself up to a certain point. The pleasure plateaus, and soon you begin to feel awkward at the fact that nothing is happening. It’s not enough to make you moan, or move, or show any reaction really. Your hand stills, and you look at him uncertainly.

Anakin blinks and brings his eyes back up. “Have you tried fingering yourself?”

You almost choke. You’re not sure why his blunt nature surprises you anymore. 

He’s looking at you curiously, completely serious, waiting for an answer. So you clear your throat and slide your finger down to your entrance, pushing in.

It goes in easier than before, and there’s no sting. But you don’t even have to move to know you’re literally going to get nothing out of it, and trying is useless.

“This is what I’m talking about,” you tell him. “It doesn’t feel like anything. And when I try two, it hurts. I think I’m broken.”

“You’re not broken,” he frowns, smoothing your hair away from your forehead and replacing it with a kiss. Your heart melts at the action that you’re sure is meant to be comforting, but only deepens your adoration of him. He sits up and you immediately miss him, although you understand he needs a better angle as he slides his hand from your thigh to the top of your pelvis. He hesitates, questioning. “Can I?”

You pull your finger out and push yourself up onto your forearms, nodding for him to go ahead. 

His touch is light as a feather as his fingertips make contact with your swollen nub. Your breath hitches in your chest, thighs immediately opening wider on their own accord to get him to increase the pressure. He watches your face as he fulfills your silent request, massaging your clit in slow, gentle circles. 

Fireworks are exploding behind your eyes, and you melt into a puddle on the bed. He’s barely even touching you, and somehow it already feels so much better than anything you’ve done to yourself. Quiet whimpers fall from your lips and the sounds make him need a steadying breath, reminding himself to go slow. Obviously, no one has ever touched you before, and he doesn’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

The sight of your head tilted back, teeth biting at your lips to quiet your sounds, fingers clutching at the bedsheets-- a very sudden, very real desire to absolutely ruin you slams into him. 

But no. That can come later.

He brings his metal hand up to your face, thumb tracing over your bottom lip and pulling it from your teeth. “You don’t have to be quiet with me,” he tells you, the ministrations on your clit with his other hand never ceasing. Instead, he picks up the pace, increasing the pressure, drinking in the sight of your hips moving against his fingers.

You’re absolutely drenched, dripping down your thighs and puddling onto the bedsheets. You’re not sure you’ve ever been this wet before, or felt this good before, and the warmth you’ve always felt is transforming into a ball of heat in your stomach. You hone into the feeling, the heat pulsing with each pass of his fingers, each wet slide of him against you--

“You have to breathe, Y/n,” Anakin chuckles, slowing his touch. You gasp in a deep breath, whining at the loss of friction, but he appeases you by slipping his fingers from your clit to your entrance. He doesn’t push in-- instead he circles his finger around it, collecting your slick, reading your every response. 

“Please, can you…” you buck your hips up, but he doesn’t allow his finger to slide in until you finish your sentence. “Can you put it in?”

He can’t keep the tiny, darkly satisfied smile off his face. He’s always had fantasies of you like this, squirming beneath him and begging for his touch. He basks in the fulfilled wish of his, drinking in every second so he can remember it for later. Meanwhile, his finger massages your hole, dipping in with just the tip before pulling back out. 

“Fuck,” you hiss, once again surprised at your own reaction. Your head is far past the point of clouding with lust, and now you’re dizzy with pleasure and the need to just have him inside of you already. “Anakin, please.”

“Patience,” he answers teasingly, although he does mean it. You can’t rush these things. And… he does have to admit that he loves seeing you so desperate and messy for him. Your neediness has him strain against his own pants, but he pushes that aside. For now, another dip of his finger into your throbbing pussy has you arch off the bed, urging him deeper, and it’s heaven to witness.

He didn’t want to go all in just yet, but you’re gushing around his finger and taking it so well. So he lets you have it, sinking his finger all the way into you. You feel him go deeper and deeper, the never-ending length of his finger a stark contrast to your shorter ones. He’s reaching places you were never able to, and even the slide of him inside you elicits a deep, warm pleasure that spreads to the tips of your fingers.

He keeps his finger all the way inside for a moment, still as he feels your walls clench around him. Once he’s sure you’re all good, he begins pressing into you with shallow thrusts, thumb returning to your clit and rubbing in time with each push of his finger.

Curses spill from your lips, and Anakin can’t help himself. He leans down over you and captures them in his mouth, swallowing your cries of pleasure. The kiss is wet, dirty, and the muffled sounds of your moans combat the indecent slick and slide below. Soon, another finger is nudging at your opening, and you press yourself deeper into his lips in anticipation of that painful sting.

It doesn’t come.

Instead, his finger slides in a couple inches and he keeps both of them there, letting you adjust as his thumb rolls over your clit. You had never been able to use two fingers before, and your head goes fuzzy as he pushes them deeper. Your walls stretch around him pleasantly, accepting the welcome intrusion as he reaches deep inside you.

How is it fair that he can make you feel so much better than you can make yourself? It doesn’t seem right in the whole grand scheme of things, but you decide not to question it as his fingers suddenly curl inside you, searching. It feels odd, and he pulls back from your lips to concentrate for a second until-- there. Found it.

You almost knock your head into his as you shoot up, a startled cry leaving your lips as your vision whites with pleasure. Your fingers claw at his back, meeting the leather that still sits on his shoulders, and scrabbling over the smooth material for purchase. Anakin laughs at your reaction, easing you into a more comfortable position as he holds you against him with his metal arm behind your back.

You can’t find it in you to care that he’s laughing, not as long as he keeps rolling the pads of his fingers into you like this. His wrist curls, applying a harder pressure as he rubs against that spot, and your head falls back, hips pushing forward, the lewdest sounds you’ve ever heard leaving your mouth. 

“You like that,” he notes, proud smile ghosting over your lips. He kisses the corner of your mouth quick and sweet, then asks, “Is it better when I go slow or fast?”

“Both,” you gasp. “Either. All of it. Oh my--”

“Soft or hard?”

“Anakin--”

Your brain is unable to focus on much else other than the feel of his fingers coaxing that blissful heat from your center. He plays around with paces and pressures, but everything feels good, it feels great, it feels amazing, it feels euphoric. Before long, your legs are shaking and a weird feeling comes over you, and you’re crying out,

“What’s happening?”

Anakin pauses, his entire body stilling as he meets your eyes. You’re completely serious, that much he can tell by the vulnerability in your eyes. He frowns, unbelieving at this revelation.

“Why’d you stop?”

“Have you ever had an orgasm?”

You whine and shift your hips into his hand, trying to get him to keep making you feel good. If this wasn’t your first time being with someone else, Anakin would have held your hip still and forced you to talk to him no matter how much you begged and pleaded. But, it was your first time with someone else, so he was deciding to be nice. He soothes your craving, resuming his movements but at a much slower pace. A pleased sigh from you fills the silence of him waiting expectantly for your answer.

“Um..” you swallow, hips meeting his hand with every thrust. “I don’t think so. No. Nothing’s ever felt… like… this…”

It’s like a sneeze, except much, much better. The way his fingers prod into you, slick with your arousal, the tips brushing and massaging against that spot that have you careening into his body. You would have toppled over on top of him if he wasn’t so strong and rooted to the bed. He holds your shivering body against his chest with his metal arm, lips marking their way around your chin and jaw as your head falls back in ecstasy. 

He’s immensely turned on, that much is obvious from the painful straining in his pants. But it’s easy to ignore, knowing now that you’ve never fallen off that brink of pleasure before. He’s curious about it, oddly saddened by the fact, and wants nothing more than to show you the absolute highs he could help you reach. So he focuses back in on rubbing your clit with his thumb, fucking you deeply on his fingers. He allows you to clutch at his back and bury your hands in his hair, moaning in abandon.

Anakin shares you pleasure as the ball in your stomach unleashes, a blissful warmth crashing over you and invading your every cell. For a moment, your body isn’t yours-- it convulses and clenches around Anakin’s fingers, your cries bounce off the walls, your eyes squeeze closed. You hope the hands twisted into his hair don’t hurt him because you physically can’t let go as you ride that pleasure-filled haze, the feeling in your limbs abandoning you to be replaced with something much stronger. 

For a while, the only sounds in the room are your gasps of air and the blood rushing through your ears. Anakin waits until your muscles relax, and then he slides his fingers out of you, smoothing his hand around your waist to join his other behind your back. He lays you down into the pillows again, burying his face in your neck as you struggle to get your legs to stop shaking.

“Y/n,” he mouths a line up your neck. “You there?”

“Mhm,” you gulp, the shock of that intense, pleasurable feeling just beginning to fade.

He pressed his deep chuckle into the spot right under your ear. “Good. I thought I lost you for a moment.”

If you were in your right state of mind, you would have laughed at his teasing. Now, all you can do is cup his face lazily in your boneless hands, pulling his face up so that you can look at him. His cheeks are flushed the slightest pink, eyes dark and sparkling, lips so red and full and inviting…

You kiss him, and he’s yours for a moment longer. 

If only it could always be like this. If only this could be a daily experience, and afterwards you could take care of him, and you could feel that wonderful euphoria with him at the same time. If only he wouldn’t have to pull away soon, untangle himself from your still-shaking limbs, brush off what just happened, and be on his way. If only he could be yours forever.

All of this, you try to tell him through the kiss. Your lips are hot, sliding over with a wanton need. He feels your yearning, and he can tell it’s a different kind than earlier. You move to deepen the kiss, but he pulls away.

“I know what you’re thinking,” his low voice murmurs, and now he doesn’t look so playful. In fact, he looks very serious, and the rumble of his words causes your stomach to drop. “You should know, Y/n, I want you too.”

The whole room could be on fire and burning and falling to ash around you, but you wouldn’t notice. Everything pales in comparison to the flames that erupt in your heart at the sound of his words. 

“You do?”

He purses his lips, running his eyes up and down your face. You’re nervous, and hopeful, and so, so scared. And also… still shivering. Most likely due to the cold, at this point. And he’s sure the drunken affects of your orgasm are still holding sway over your mind.

“This is a conversation I think would be much better held over some ruby bliels,” he decides, and begins to unwind himself from you. You let him, that hopeful spark still searing through your veins. Before getting off the bed, he presses a kiss into your hand and then smooths over it with his thumb.

You want to say something cute or witty, but the only thing your dumb brain can come up with is, “Okay.”

“Okay,” he smiles fondly, moving toward the door. “I’ll meet you out there. Feel free to remain pantsless.”

This has you rolling your eyes, laughing lightly as you fall back against the pillows. Don’t tempt me.

The prospect of a future with Anakin is at the forefront of your brain, blood pumping thick as molasses as you struggle to convince yourself this is reality. He shuts the door behind him as you leave, and you roll onto your stomach to scream into the pillow. 

This was a dream come true.