#i dont like wattpad

[thelocal-shifter-kai]

Sebastian crack fic

Heya! Really hope you enjoy this fic. I'd say it's pretty funny, have fun reading!

You've started to forget when the first time you explored the blacksite was, or when you even started working for UrbanShade.. or why you started working for them.. When was the last time you died? You seemed to lose track, the memories just keep blurring together.

But there are some pros, on most of your runs and all of your returns you would see and talk to sebastian!

You and him were somewhat friends? At least that's what you thought. With the amount of times you died he would chat with you a bit, you and him could hold up a good conversation for awhile. He'd laugh at you. You'd laugh at him, you guys would banter and just have fun.

Though during one of your runs you found.. something very interesting and odd, no matter what happened, what routes you took, how fast or slow…. You had never seen something like this from the outside world. A fucking air fryer, where on earth did this come from? How did it get here? So many questions were going through your head. Your main question was how did this get here, God probably doesn't know where.

And neither do you.

Next to it you found some gold. A mini-fridge next to the air fryer. You might've found food in the blacksite! You eagerly open the mini-fridge as you seem to find diamonds. Food. You actually found a normal frozen package of food in the blacksite! You pick it up and look at what glorious type of food it might be… and its fish sticks.

The irony is almost painful. Emphasis on almost. The fact you're friends with Sebastian doesn't matter right now when you cook them in the air fryer. This is food, he out of all people would take this chance just as you are.

It felt like forever for them to cook but when it was done and you opened the air fryer it smelled like heaven, even if you didn't like fish before. You burn yourself getting some normal food out of the airfryer and trying to eat them, this was heaven, you were at the pearly gates of heaven eating these.

At least it was heaven compared to this hellish place you've been in for god knows how long. You've died so many times, but.. with this. You feel like you're not stuck here, like you're still in the outside world. Like before you were trapped in this hell.

You do eat most of the fish sticks but this heaven pack had a lot of them, you did cook them all. While putting the rest of them back in the bag you get a terrible great idea! Why not trade these to sebastian for an item? You didn't actually plan on doing that but you thought it would be a funny idea!

Going through the rooms you see that familiar vent break open as sebastian calls you in.

He greets you as normal, seemingly not noticing the heavenly smell of the food. He turns on his light for the shop, smiling at you. “Hello.. good to see you’re back, in need any items?” His tone is neutral but you can tell he's genuinely happy to see you. Sadly, what you're planning on doing to him might ruin that happiness.

You have a lot of research but you're gonna see what happens if you try to bribe him with food. You may not have his file but you know he's been here for a long time, who knows when he's last eaten?

“Why.. why would I want fish sticks instead of research???” His confusion just keeps growing, with a hint of sarcasm slowly building up.

You start to ask as confusion etches itself on Sebastian's face. “Could I buy something with fish sticks?” the confusion just sets in more as the silence is loud, after what feels like hours he just stares at you with utter confusion in his voice. “I'm sorry, what did you just say?” Poor sebastian is just completely confused. He doesn't know what to say. You hand him the bag, he opens it, looks inside for a minute, he just stares at you again, possibly even more confused. Somehow.

Unfortunately he steals the rest of your fish sticks and asks you “How on earth did you find and cook fish sticks!? How did you find normal food in the blacksite??” You start to explain and his confusion just seems to grow, in fact.. You've never seen... So much confusion on anything, ever.

“So.. let me get this straight. You some random expendable somehow found an air fryer and a mini-fridge, just to open the mini-fridge and find fish sticks. You somehow cooked them, you came here and tried to bribe me with fish sticks?? And you thought that would work??” He stares at you desperately waiting for an answer

“kinda??” as you say that he face-palms “Why would you do that when we've already established that RESEARCH is what you buy my items with.” his voice tells you that he thinks you're an absolute idiot.

“Not really, I thought it would be funny, to be honest it kinda was” you just caused him to have another face-palm. This annoyed you, because he refuses to give you back your fish sticks.

Sebastian picks you up like a mother cat would their kitten, but with his hand and it's the back of your uniform. “You'll what. I am a giant mutant fish with a shotgun. What are you going to do to me? There is quite literally nothing you can do.”

You manage to get yourself out of his grasp and while he realizes that you aren't in his hand anymore you have to be fast, so you quickly get up to grab a flash beacon from his tail and shoot him to make sebastian let go of his food.. you then shoot him with the flash beacon “GUAGH” he pulls out his shotgun and shoots you.

You don't get a file document from sebastian, although it wouldn't take a genius to know who killed you. All sebastian tells you is.. “I warned you..”

Next thing you remember is waking up back in your bed, of the UrbanShade prison. You get up knowing you'll have to get ready for your next run. Memories coming back about how you were killed by sebastian over fish sticks.

You really can't tell if it was a stupid dream or sebastian really killed you over fish sticks.

At least you'll be able to go back to the blacksite and get your answers. Let's hope sebastian will talk to you and answer your question.

[sevenbillionyears]

I'm back on Wattpad for my daily intake of fanfiction and I am not happy about it

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm in A Mood™ (stressed) so im going back to my roots of melting two character together into one person. So bruce wayne!danny fenton. Danny Fenton who, for eight years, grew up in a beautiful gothic manor with his mom and dad under the name "Bruce Wayne". Playing piano with his mother, running around the manor with his father.

Then when he's eight it's ripped away from him. There's blood on his hands and pearls pooling at his feet, and both his parents are dead in front of him.

And he gets shipped off to distant relatives "the Fentons" shortly after, Alfred close on his heels because someone needs to take care of him, someone that knows him. Bruce goes to the Fentons for the safety of anonymity. Gotham's press wants to sink its teeth into him.

Danny misses his city even if it took everything from him. There are shadows in his eyes and he's pale as a sheet even beside his distant cousins, and they change his name to "Danny Fenton' because nobody should know that their newest child was illustrious orphan Bruce Wayne.

They call him Bruce behind closed doors. Danny prefers it that way, he clings onto the name -- the one his parents gave him -- like a lifeline. He makes friends with Sam and Tucker. Tucker takes one look at the willowy, morbid little boy standing in the corner like a shade, ghosts in his eyes, and drags him out into the sunlight, and takes him over to Sam.

When Danny is twelve, he's still not over it -- and he's a little obsessed with the Fentons' research, with the morbid. He has books upon books on death, murder, detective work. Anything he can get his hands on. And stars. He loves stars.

Alfred owns the apartment next to them and comes over regularly. Danny clings to him.

When Danny is twelve, he's still quiet, meek, a shy little thing prone to being bullied. Freaky little Fenton with the night in his eyes and too-cold skin even before he put one foot in the grave. in a sleepover in his room with Sam and Tucker, he tells them the truth. They're his friends, he trusts them.

"My name is Bruce." he murmurs, voice quiet as the breeze, always quiet. he's staring at his star-covered sheets.

"Like Bruce Wayne?" Tucker asks, a joking tone in his voice.

Danny smiles a little, lamb-like with insecurity. "I am Bruce Wayne." And he takes them down to the lab, disrupting Maddie and Jack, to prove it. Sam tells them of her own wealth then shortly after. They start calling Danny "Bruce" in private too -- its trust. Thats what it is. It's trust.

Sam goes to media functions and comes back with aching feet and complaints on her tongue -- and Danny soaks it up all like a sponge, splayed across a beanbag chair with Tucker in her room. He's not envious of her, he used to go to events with his parents and they kept him safe from the ugly of Gotham's Elite. For the most part. He's had comments made at him, he doesn't miss them.

Alfred returns to the manor semi-regularly, Danny goes with him. he wanders the hallways and helps Alfred clean, the last thing either of them want is for their home to fall into disrepair. He brings Jazz with him next time, then Tucker, then Sam. They all help him clean, and he shows them his room. The one across from his parents', it feels strange.

When Danny dies when he's fourteen, the first adult he tells is Alfred. He and Jazz go over to his house more often than they stay in the Fentonworks building. At least at Alfred's, the food doesn't come to life. Alfred sits at the kitchen table and weeps when Danny tells him, Jazz is upstairs, and its just the two of them.

Danny's ghost form wears pearls around his wrist and the gloves look stained with some kind of black substance. He looks like a child who died in a lab accident, but he also looks like a child who has shadows dripping off his shoulders, curling at his feet, hanging from his eyes.

because amorphous blob batman has my heart always and danny/bruce will not escape it even in death even if that IS the only reason im giving him Mild BatBlob Vibes...so far

when they go to the manor, alfred helps danny make a pile of stones between Martha and Thomas' graves, nobody but the two of them (and sam and tucker) will know what it means. (not even bruce's children later down the line, not for a long, long time)

danny dives into ghost fighting on shaky feet and not half as witty as he once was in one world. he's skittish, skittering between blasts from shadow to shadow and clumsily making his way through each battle. but helping people lights a fire in him. he still has shadows dripping off his feet but there's a purpose in his eyes.

and god help him, he's going to help people.

[syrelivesforptj]

"That isn't enemy's to lovers, that's just Bully x victim!" Okay. Maybe that's what I'm aiming for. Maybe that was my goal. What if I like Bully x victim? Hm? What if I like the trope where someone torments the other because they have the hots for them? HM?

[hunnyy-bunnyyy]

The dissonance between era inspiration in ACoTaR is one of the more brushed over flaws in the book series. Looking at the Inner Circle's fashion alone, we jump between "literal scraps of fabric" (Under the Mountain, Court of Nightmares) to "orientalist painter's imaginings of the Ottoman Harem" (clothing described during Feyre's first few visits to the Night Court) to "modern 'corset' dress" (Feyre's Starfall dress, majority of Mor's clothing, most of the clothes drawn in fan art) to "modern -- almost sci-fi style -- skin-tight leather armor" to "sweater and leggings combo".

Then, between courts, we have Helion wearing Spirit Halloween's take on the ancient Grecian tunic; Feyre's Spring Court wedding dress looking like an 1830s fashion plate; and Dawn heavily implied to have traditional East Asain clothing (e.g. kimono, hanfu, hanbok).

On top of all of that, some of the Dawn Court's small cities ". . . specialized in tinkering and clockwork and clever things. . ." which -- combined with Lucien's metal eye and Nuan's mechanical hand -- implies a sort of post-industrial revolution time period. However, a decent chunk of the fandom says that ACoTaR is medieval; which, yeah, it's medieval themed in the first book -- sans the "dress" Rhysand forces Feyre to wear UTM.

The wild inconsistencies in ACoTaR's inspiration leads, not to a rich and diverse world, but a world that seems ramshackle and haphazard -- like it's creator simply threw together a board on Pinterest and called it a day. This is a major part of why the world building is so abysmal, it relies on convenience to the plot and whatever pleases the aesthetic whims of the author. Cultures deemed "pretty" or "badass" are thrown together, irregardless of how far apart they actually are. This is not only disrespectful to the narrative, but to the readers and the cultures used as inspiration.

All of this to say: Sarah J Maas is a bad author, not just because of the way she handles serious topics like power dynamics and abuse, but also because she cannot put together a world that is even the slightest bit cohesive.

[blvvdk3ep]

You haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of having to explain ao3 to someone who's never heard of it before

[siddyyyyyyyy]

No, I didn't.

Pairing: Father figure!Price (x reader) (PLATONIC)

wc: 1.8 kwarnings: daddy issueswhat, military stuff but i dont have much knowledge, no y/n used, no angst, don't worry

Summary: Captain is similiar to being your father figure and you accidentally call him "dad"!!!!!!!!!!!

a/n: (this thing has been rotting in my notes app for a while) there's no romantic plot in this one, just some thoughts I've had about Price and him being the 'dad' figure or something, enjoy

Working with the TaskForce141 is definitely a lot of work and needs a lot of training, being able to cope and deal with high stress situations. It's all not a big deal for you, since you've been training for this a long time anyway and have probably seen it all by now. From a pile of dead bodies to difficult decision making in order to save people. All this doesn't exactly affect you, at least not as hard as the very first time you experienced these things. After years and years of experience it started to just be another day at work, which doesn't mean it got boring. It's definitely not boring, and if you were honest with yourself for once, it feels like the team you're in makes it easier to get along with missions and makes them less stressful.

Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick is about the same age as you, if not only a few months older. He's mostly calm and respectful but won't let anyone disrespect anyone else or himself, always making sure to get his opinion straight and be open-minded for anything. It's great to talk to him, him having a smooth voice and being one of the pretty faces you've seen around. Your other teammate, Johnny 'Soap' McTavish is a pretty interesting person himself. A loyal soldier and a strong one at that aswell, his arms looking like he could rip a tree in half if he wanted to. His scottish accent always comes out thicker whenever he's angry or got a beer too much. But besides that, he is also a pretty good person to talk to, especially when needing some advice for relationships and other topics.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley must be one of the most mysterious people you've seen around. You know pretty much nothing about him, besides him liking his earl grey tea and silly little army jokes. He holds a lot to himself and keeps quiet almost always and looks like he could tear you apart if you breath the wrong way. But he actually wouldn't, being his teammate is safer than to be his enemy. Besides his cold nature and brutal way of handling things, he actually tries to care for his team in his own way too. Checking up on you from time to time on a difficult mission, mostly just to make sure you don't fuck it up. You're not the type to have a favorite in a group, but if you needed to decide, it would probably be John Price. Your very own Captian. He's cold, if not the coldest person you know, always being fast in decision making and not letting anyone get in his way, no matter what. Price always makes sure to be there for his team too, cracking a few small 'dad jokes' then and there if the time is right.

Now, you're all waiting in the middle of a desert for a vehicle to pick you up after another successful mission. It was a mission that went on for several days but it was great, with minor difficulties. As your sitting on the sand, while making sure the sun doesn't give you a stroke, the others are talking about the mission. Well, just the few funny or minor mistakes they did while on mission. Soap is telling about how he accidentally let his magazine fall to the ground while reloading and almost slipped on a rock while doing so. But he got up and continued with the mission as usual, so it wasn't serious and just something to laugh about. After a few chuckles and jokes, Price spoke up and mentioned you, doing something similar.

»I saw you once throw a magazine out instead of a granade. Just giving out free ammunition like that.«

He teased you a little about it while mostly just Johnny and Kyle laughed about it with Price, lightheartedly teasing you about it some more. After another one of the Captains typical dad jokes, you finally speak up as you got enough of them.

»Okay, stop it dad.« You scoff lightly with a slight headshake, realizing only a few seconds later what you actually said. You're met with silence for a moment before Johnny cracks up and chuckles, not able to hold it back in.

»Did I hear you right, there? Did you just call him-«

»Enough. I didn't say anything.« You interrupt and stand up from your sitting spot on the sand, dusting your pants off. The truck arrives just in time, sparring you from any more embarrassing stuff happening to you for now. Price is genuinely suprised about you calling him that, not having thought anyone from his team could see him as something like a father figure. He doesn't mind that much anyway but also thinks he isn't that old. Eventually, he doesn't bring it up, not wanting to make you uncomfortable and he doesn't really think too much of it at the end of the day.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

　Something similar happens another time, two or three months after the first 'incident', how you call it. The moment since you accidentally called your Captain dad, you promised to focus way more on what you say as if you didn't already do that all the time.

Once in the mess hall to eat dinner, you couldn't help but feel more tired than usual. Probably because you didn't catch much sleep last night or maybe because you had a lot of paperwork that day, either way you felt rather tired but nothing too bad for you to handle. You're sitting at the right corner of the table while eating with the rest at one of the tables, eating peacefully while listening to the conversations around you. Sometimes listening to the small drama from a table across or just trying to see who else is eating dinner in the mess hall aswell. The food is nothing special, just the usual mashed potatoes, some sauce and meat to it. Salad is also there for everyone. Even though the food isn't bad, you can't help but want more salt in it, feeling like it hasn't got enough of it. Glancing up from your food, you see that Price is sitting closest to the salt shaker. Without much thinking you speak up, looking at him while asking.

»Dad, could you pass me the salt?« You ask casually and wait for him to hand you the salt shaker, not having realized yet what you really said for now. He shrugs and hands it over to you over the table, keeping a straight face as if nothing's wrong.

»Sure, kiddo.« It's a bit strange for him to call you 'kiddo' right now, but you don't question it and pour some salt into your food. Price continues to eat his own food, but you can't help but notice how silent it became around the table for some reason. Before you could look up again, Johnny chimes in.

»Didn't know you were his kid.« He nudges your shoulder softly and waits for your reaction, carefully watching how you react. You're a bit confused and look to him next to you, the gears in your head finally turning. Kyle can't help but smirk slightly at this whole thing as he tries to continue eating, turning his head away a bit.

»No- it's.... I didn't- what?« You stumble over your words while trying to explain this, eventually getting frustrated with yourself. Your back leans back against your chair while sighing out, being ready to gaslight them about this slip up. »It's alright. Happens.« Price reassures you even though he has a very faint smirk on his own lips about the situation, just not addressing it as much as Johnny.

»It's not the first time this happened, right?« Kyle's the one to tease you this time, looking over to you at the table all the while you're hiding your face a bit again.

»No, nothing never happened.« You shake your head and just continue eating your food more quickly, so you can escape this situation as fast as possible.

The conversations around the table return to its usual after a moment, no one addressing it anymore afterwards. Ghost was always just observing your reactions and the situation itself in both times it happened, having noticed a few things.

For example that it happened when you looked tired or when you were seemingly relaxed, speaking from your body language. Or how your ears become increasingly more red the moment you realise what happened, making it more amusing for him to watch your reaction. But of course he wouldn't mention any of those things, especially not to the whole group since it could come off a bit weird. He keeps it to himself but still can't help but tease you subtly about it during a round of joking in the team, mostly just addressing how easily something can embarrass you.

But to say he's the only who noticed that, is wrong. Price was probably the first person to notice those things about you, finding it also amusing in a way. He doesn't exactly mind you calling him 'dad' sometimes by accident but when it happens, he mostly thinks about why you do it. Probably having no proper father figure in your life or maybe he just reminds you of your own father. Maybe it's just the personality he gives off, making it seem like he's the fatherly one in the team. Either way, he finds it mostly wholesome, knowing he makes his team feel comfortable around him. But he keeps quiet about it, not wanting to embarass you even though he finds it oddly amusing to see how you act once something embarrassing or humbling happens to you.

But you on the other hand, you don't find it amusing at all. You're ready to launch at them the moment something remotely humbling happens in front of them, ready to gaslight them if it means they'll forget about one small thing. But you don't do it, considering they're your team mates and you're all almost equally strong. But even though they don't make seriously fun of you and tell you it's all jokes at the end of the day, you still can't help but feel even a little embarrassed about it. It's like having a small crisis to yourself, not sure what others think about you now or how you should act from now on around them. But that's just you being dramatic. Mostly.

[ostriches-because-i-said-so]

Wattpad crack: We're unrealistic and kinda cringe

Ao3 crack:

[kevinsdsy]

AHHH Y'ALL i posted the first chapter of the aftg fanfiction i'll be writing, it's the first time i'm writing a multiple chapters fanfiction in like 5 or 6 years so !!!! also FIRST time i'm publishing on ao3 since i used to be a wattpad girlie but oh well

you can find a preview and the link to the chapter here, hope if y'all read it you will enjoy it. the dynamics etc are loosely based on the socmed au so yeah :))))

[mamawasatesttube]

sorry i need to be a hater for a minute. tim drake: robin is a plague upon this earth because it is late 2024 and i Still can't go into kon tags without seeing that stupid fucking blond bitch. enough

[motheryves]

Ao3 down still, so here are some alts !!!

a job : you can live out that coffee shop slow burn strangers to lover fluff 50k fanfic irl. just manifest or sumn. if you alr got one... idk, beat up ur boss.

grass : lay in it, roll around, eat it, touch it, sleep in it, smoke it. idc. just touch it. pretend the grass is an angst fanfic. pick up some of the grass and play out ur fav fanfic scene like ur playing with barbies. you may look weird but it's okay bc we're going through a crisis

an actual book : i scared some of y'all when I said that. "imma read me a book to get away from fanfics," that book has been collecting DUST. the termites is chewing the shit up as we speak. open that book and read it (e-books count too).

google docs : this is for the writers. yeah, go finish that fanfic. the shit been sitting in ur drafts for weeks now, unfinished asf. one word at a time, drink some water pookie.

outside : scared y'all again. go for a walk, talk to somebody, breathe some fresh, get some bitches, idk. if ur ace, get some platonic bitches.

[satorisoup]

people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T

tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3

[lee-hakhyun]

i see people thinking that the side story is the bad ending for kim dokja. and don't get me wrong, he doesn't come back after the door opens, but that is because kimcom CHOSE that.

they had the option to open a door where kim dokja woke up, but they chose to go through the door where he doesn't wake up because they know that first door is a trap (like 49/51), and they want all of kim dokja. and when they go through, kim dokja is gone, but he's left a note. he is STILL OUT THERE (and part of him is with lhh right now. it's complicated)

anyway this is just to say KIM DOKJA IS BACK IN THE SIDE STORY. he is just not with kimcom *yet*. i need to make this clear because i keep seeing people saying things that sound like people think he's gone for real in the side story.

[somecunttookmyurl]

peace and love to anyone wanting to migrate away from tumblr but i will simply not be doing that. when the lights go off the only place i'm migrating is to my to-do list

[thesauce8]

If anyone hasn’t watched The Last yet, let me save you time and inform you that it was awful.

[sieglinde-freud]

HELP GRAY FULLBUSTER yknow what i see it. natsu was my fave for awhile before rogue cheney came along lol

u guys have no idea but i had the biggest fairy tail phase when i was in middle school and i was in love with gray fullbuster it was crazy. i dont know why. i really truly dont remember why but i thought he was the coolest fucking guy in the world. i hated juvia. i dont anymore, i think shes actually really cool but to this day im not entirely sure how i feel about her and gray just bc. the stalking 😭 that was kinda crazy. also i was mad cuz i wanted him with erza but also its been like so many years so if my takes suck take it up to 11 y/o me i never finished the series. anyways natsu actually based i loved that guy. i watched fairy tail in english and so when i got to awakening for the first time, i got morgan, he started talking and i was like HOLY SHIT. NATSU DRAGNEEL? like i was floored. insane. i had to look up rogue i forgot that guy but he looks like a pokemon trainer kinda