#and quite frankly i just dont really care about marvel

[skywritingrambles]

I've never really written for Marvel nor am I particularly invested in it (pretty sure the last movie I kept up with was like, the second doctor strange) but I do get in an occasional stucky kick, and sambucky is a ship I also enjoy.

Anyway thinking of a fic where Bucky does fall in love with Sam but feels like he's betraying Steve for doing so, like their love didn't mean anything if he goes for someone else. And Sam helps him recognize that loving someone else doesn't mean other love was any less, and he deserves to be happy again. He's not trying to "be another Steve" or even replace him he just wants to be a different person to make him happy.

Maybe even touch on it being kinda fucked up that Steve left after Endgame.

[minor-solemnity]

Request:

Pairing: Tom x oc/reader

Summary:

Tom and oc go to the slug club yearly galla and oc is the loud Gryffindor 2nd in class and her and tom have been nemesis for long but the sexual tension is real and then tom sees her dancing with potter ..

Slughorn is like “ahh two of my favourite students” and he introduced them to a lot of people and a little girl spills something on tom and oc defends the girl and slughorn is like why dont you help him change oc ( as tom had some injury and was drenched and couldn’t change on his own ) and when they fight all the way to his dorm and she only agrees because slughorn tells her to and then when she helps him out of his shirt there is a lot of sexual tension and then kiss or maybe have sex in his dorm

And in the end she ends up sleeping on his bed and he like sees her face glisten in the moon light and is like fuck i like her even though he was trying to convince himself he didnt care abt her throughout the party ? And in the morning she is like well you slytherins have great beds you rich aristocrats or something and he just laughs and kisses her and malfoy is like well who would have thought the slytherin ice cold king and the Gryffindor lioness

I dont know feel free to change it up and if you donr want to then thats ok too it would mean a great deal to me if you write it no pressure tho..( going anon because i am shy )

~ red

Heyyy so I took a few liberties and this is gonna be a two parter because I have zero chill apparently but I hope you like this, Red! 

Next part will be up in a day or two :)

Never Gonna Give (You Up) Pt.1

You smile up at him as innocently as you can. You know you shouldn’t bait him. You know you’re being immature. You know that if this night descends into one of your usual verbal sparring matches you won’t be impressing anyone, let alone Christella Beaufort. But something about him brings out the worst in you. Makes you feel slightly wrong-footed which in turn makes you want to push and needle until he reacts.

You take a moment to marvel at the decorations for this year’s Saturnalia party. Every year, Slughorn seems to set himself an unofficial challenge to out-do himself with more elaborate designs. This year, the theme is clear: gold. Just lots and lots of gold. From the tablecloths to the chairs, to the golden snowflakes that melt into nothing a couple of feet above your head, to the floor which has been charmed so that whenever you take a step you leave a shimmering footprint in your wake. It’s bright and festive and you can’t help but smirk at the thought of Tom Riddle being stuck in a room full of Gryffindor colours. 

Speaking of the devil, you spy Riddle talking to Slughorn and one of the Ministry officials that often grace Slughorn’s get-togethers. You don’t particularly want to go over and talk to him, but you do want to make yourself known to Slughorn and find out if he managed to Christella Beaufort on the list this year. She’s the Head Curse-Breaker at Gringott’s, fiercely independent, highly intelligent, and so tenacious she had singlehandedly opened the door to witches wanting to go into the profession. In short, she’s your idol.

“Come on, Potter. We’ve got pleasantries to make and hands to grease.” You grab Fleamont’s hand who you’re attending the party with (as friends - you’ve made it very clear to him that you’re not interested in finding out whether his skills on a broom translate off the pitch). With that, you stride over to the drinks table where Slughorn and Riddle are chatting, Fleamont stumbling after you, his hand still locked in yours.

“Professor,” You greet Slughorn with a warm smile, “I have to say, you’ve outdone yourself once again. I’m particularly fond of the colour scheme this year.”

“Ahh, my dear girl, how lovely of you to join us!” Slughorn cries jovially. He pats your shoulder and you watch as his eyes slide to your hand, which is still clasped around Fleamonts. And (not that you care) you notice that Riddle’s eyes are also fixed on your intertwined hands. You let go of Fleamont’s hand and it has nothing to do with the frown that’s now marring Riddle’s brow.  He casts a fond (and slightly calculating, truth be told) eye over the three of you. “My three best students! First, second, and third.” Your smile turns strained and over Slughorn’s shoulder, Riddle’s charming smile turns smug.

Slughorn introduces you to the Ministry official - a boring looking man who you promptly forget the name of but who Fleamont seems entirely taken by. Before you know it, Potter has abandoned you to talk shop with Slughorn and Mr Ministry and you’re left with Riddle.

Lovely.

Just. Lovely.

At least there’s champagne. The other professors might disapprove but in all your years of Slug Club Saturnalias, Slughorn has never once skimped on the champagne. You reach for a glass and look at Riddle with a critical eye, searching for any imperfections. Frustratingly, you can’t find any. Riddle is, as per usual, the most handsome man in the room. Pale skin, impossibly dark eyes, refined features and cheekbones as sharp as his tongue. Metaphorically speaking. Though the idea of Riddle with a forked tongue is enough to make you snort into your champagne flute. 

Riddle’s attention snaps to you and he raises an eyebrow, unimpressed, impatient, annoyed with you already and making absolutely no attempt to hide it. “Did you find something amusing?” 

“Oh, no. I was just taking in your general appearance,” You say, waving a handle vaguely towards him. You smile up at him as innocently as you can. You know you shouldn’t bait him. You know you’re being immature. You know that if this night descends into one of your usual verbal sparring matches you won’t be impressing anyone, let alone Christella Beaufort. But something about him brings out the worst in you. Makes you feel slightly wrong-footed which in turn makes you want to push and needle until he reacts. It doesn’t help that the rivalry you’ve had with him since first year has only become more intense and heated as you’ve gotten older. 

His eyes narrow and he drags his gaze across your body. The moment stretches and your cheeks flame as his eyes follow the nip of your waist and the curve of your hips. Your mouth goes dry. Because this is another thing that you hate about Riddle: he never fails to make your stomach swoop. By the time he raises his eyes back to yours, his expression is one of ironic amusement. “Colour me impressed,” He murmurs, angling his body ever so slightly towards you and you have to force yourself not to take a step back. “You actually look… passable this evening.”

Prat.

You should walk away. You should find one of the fancy people that you’ve been desperate to meet since your invitation arrived a month ago. 

You don’t.

You stay and bicker with Riddle, throwing increasingly caustic taunts and jibes at each other whilst you sip champagne and pretend that you’d rather be anywhere else. You realise about twenty minutes into a debate about Minister for Magic Spencer-Moon’s policies (you rather like the pro-muggle legislature he’s attempting to pass and Riddle thinks you’re being horribly naive) that Riddle is still here. Which, well, obviously he’s still here; he’s talking to you right now in that same condescending tone he uses to tell students off for staying out past curfew. But he doesn’t have to be. Riddle is as ambitious as you are, more so, even. So why has he spent most of the evening with you and not sucking up to the many rich and talented witches and wizards in attendance tonight?

You glance around the room, suddenly aware that it hadn’t even occurred to you to leave. You’ve been so wrapped up in your conversation that everything else had just sort of… faded away. For reasons you are unwilling to examine too closely, you feel yourself grow warm. Riddle is still talking, gesturing animatedly with his champagne flute, looking horrendously handsome and like… oh Merlin, he looks like he’s enjoying himself. And that is… Well, quite frankly, that’s enough to make your brain grind to halt from shock.

You’re saved from your inner turmoil by Fleamont who appears at your side and wraps a hand around your waist. Riddle’s expression shutters. He looks at Fleamont’s arm around your waist and sneers and, for reasons beyond your grasp, you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from explaining that Fleamont is just a friend. Fleamont, oblivious as always, grins and asks you to dance and you can’t bring yourself to look at Riddle as he leads you away to the dance floor. 

Fleamont is a good dancer. You suppose this is to be expected from the heir to one of the oldest pureblood families in Britain. You imagine that he learnt to waltz before he learnt to walk. You try to focus on the dance, on the way that Fleamont spins you around the room causing your dress robes to fan out around you in an elegant circle but out of the corner of your eye you can see Riddle watching you. He’s subtle about it, you’re fairly sure that no one else would notice, but even as he makes conversation with a wizard you vaguely recognise as Ensio Kiimamaa, widely regarded as the leading Potions Master in contemporary wizarding society, his eyes flicker to where you’re dancing with Fleamont. 

You’re really not sure what to make of it.

The dance ends, and Fleamont makes a show of bowing and offering you his arm, which you take with an exasperated laugh. “Let’s go talk to Kiimamaa, I hear he’s thinking about taking on apprentices next year.” As little as you want to go near Riddle for the rest of the night, you can’t think of a good reason to object, so you nod begrudgingly and walk over, trying to convince yourself that the trepidation you feel is a result of being introduced to Kiimamma and not because of the way Riddle’s looking at you.

You make your introductions and Kiimamma begins to explain his latest discovery: a highly acidic venom harvested from the Icelandic water-dwelling vatnaormar. He produces a vial of dark liquid, uncorks it and passes it around the three of you. “It’s highly dangerous to touch, but I’ve found that a sniff of it can induce heightened concentration and focus - I hope to find a way of incorporating it in a potion that’s safe to drink.” 

Riddle holds the uncorked venom delicately between his fingers, raising it up to the light to observe the venom and then time seems to speed up and slow down all at once as you watch in horror as two things happen almost simultaneously. 

First: A little girl, who you assume to be Kiimamma’s daughter, shakes free of Slughorn’s hold on her arm and bounds over, waving her arms excitedly before losing her balance and crashing into Riddle. Second: the uncorked vial slips from Riddle’s fingers and the venom arches in an elegant curve through the air before it splatters across Riddle’s chest.

The effect is immediate. The venom tears through Riddle’s dress robes in almost no time at all and his skin begins to burn, leaving awful red and pink welts on the pale skin of his chest. The little girl starts wailing and Slughorn and Kiimamma start flapping their hands.

Riddle’s eyes flash in pain and anger and embarrassment and he completely forgets his usual charm and grace as he rounds on the girl. Before he can start yelling at her as he so clearly intends to, you step forward and place your hand on the girl’s shoulder. “It was an accident, Riddle. She didn’t mean to.” You say and then add in a low tone so that only he can hear, “She’s his daughter. Don’t fucking yell at her.” His gaze snaps to yours and there’s a moment when you think he’s going to yell anyway before his jaw clenches and he gives you a single tight nod.

“Riddle, my poor boy, you must go to the hospital wing. Not to worry, I’m sure Madam Montague will be able to sort you out in a flash.” Later, you will be able to appreciate Slughorn’s ability to sound jolly in even the direst of circumstances. Right now, you just find it rather insensitive. Slughorn turns to you and with slightly pleading eyes asks you to escort Riddle. Try as you might, you can’t think of a good reason not to, so with a vaguely helpless glance to Fleamont, you grudgingly nod, scowling at the ground in annoyance.

You loop your arm through Riddle’s and he stiffens under your touch. You repress the urge to roll your eyes and begin to make your way out of the room, ignoring Riddle’s laboured breathing and the slight trembling of his shoulders. It’s only as you get to the door that you notice a tall, dark-haired witch with a jagged scar crossing the length of her face steps out of the floo. Christella Beaufort, the one person who you had wanted to meet tonight has arrived and you’re not going to get to even say hello.

(part 1) (part 2)

[chokemeanakin]

anything for anakin x curvy reader? there’s barely any representation for me 🙁

yes of course!!! we love curvy queens and kings and everything in betweens.

Anakin Skywalker x Curvy fem Reader Headcanons:

*cracks knuckles* lets talk about how his past made him The Way He Is (because i overanalyze everything and can never get straight to the point).

So, as a kid growing up on a harsh desert planet world, a slave no less, he was no stranger to hunger/starvation. Quite frankly, most of the people he knew was like that, it’s just the way it was. He grew up around people who were stick-thin and emaciated, because only wealthy people could afford enough food to be healthy.

So he’s not used to seeing feminine curves.

But.. lemme tell you... when he comes to Coruscant and is exposed to everything... well... he just finds that he really appreciates every attribute of a woman’s body.

So naturally he’d love it if you’re curvy. 

He definitely loves to look at you, just to map out everything with his eyes and store it for later. Maybe you’re trying some dresses on, and you come out and ask him out it looks. He’d look at you like:

Can’t say anything at first. His eyes are just going every, up and down and back up again. Taking it all in. Wanders if it would be wrong to shove you into the dressing room and take you right there. Decides it would be. Visibly has to hold himself back from doing it anyway. His hands are shaking.

“Anakin?”

“Uh.. yeah. Yeah that one’s nice.”

You sigh and go back into the dressing room-- that’s exactly what he said about the last five dresses.

When you’re alone, he loves to run his hands up and down your body, feeling every dip and curve of your figure under his hands. He can never get enough, how soft and pliant you are under his fingers. He never knew someone could be so beautiful, so breathe-taking...

He loves to squish, wherever he can really. Thighs? Butt? Waist? Boobs? He’s a slut for it all.

He especially loves cuddling because you’re just exceptionally soft and warm. And when you’re lying down, he can touch you all over and marvel at your shape. Gather you in his hands and kiss you all over. 

Lives for the way his fingers sink into your flesh when he grips you especially tight. How your skin pillows out around his fingers, and gives under the sharp lines of his teeth when he nips at you, how soft you are as he sucks your skin into his mouth and how you jiggle when you move.

The jiggle. Oh Lord. If you wear leggings, or any tight clothing really, and he sees you walk by and he can see that jiggle-- *insert cry emoji*. Or when you’re on a speeder or a ship or something and you hit turbulence and your boobs go all blebeabpegjietiubhetuibheiub OH LORD plz dont crash anakin

He’s just so enraptured by your body, he loves it so much. He can never stop touching you, or looking at you, or tasting you--

And if there’s ever a day where you don’t feel the best about yourself (everyone has those days), he is so fast to shut that shit down. He’ll see you frowning at yourself in the mirror, and he’ll walk by and lift your head in his hands, face all pouty and angry, and he’ll say, “stop doing this to yourself. you’re perfect.” And then he’ll kiss you and move on.

There’s no room to be insecure around him. He loves every single inch of you endlessly.

And he doesn’t care if you’re hesitant to do anything with him, like if you maybe don’t wanna sit on his lip or have him pick you up, he’ll just look at you like you’re crazy and have you do it anyway. It does not bother him one bit. He loves it. Will sit you on his lap and pick you up like a princess whenever you want because he wants to and he can. 

And anytime you guys are together really, his hands are just glued to your waist.

[popculturebuffet]

The Loud House Valentine’s Day Double Feature (Back in Black and Stage Plight) or My My My Once Bitten Twice Shy

What is up my Loudites? And while I am returning to the Loud House I do have some sad news to get out of the way first.. i’m ending regular coverage of the Loud House. I don’t like doing this.. but when I picked up the show, I didn’t really have a set schedule.. and that was a bad thing as I didn’t get nearly everything I wanted done. Now I have one and honestly it’s been great: it allows me to stay focused and if I end up not feeling what I was going to do that day, provided it’s not a comission or specfically needed that day, I can swap things around a bit easier. 

The reason I bring this up is Nick’s way of scheduling means I CAN’T reasonably put the show on the schedule. They often don’t announce airdates until the wee before, which isn’t a bad thing WATCHING, and isn’t unresonable for a children’s network. But for someone who likes to have a concrete schedule at the top of the month, still flexable and able to make changes if they come up but at least some idea of what i’ll be doing and when, that’s a non-starter, as not knowing when a show’s going to be there or not really messes with things. In contrast Disney puts up their entire programming schedule for next month towards the end, so I know if a show’s coming back, and thus that it’ll probably be around for next month’s too. And if it goes away a week earlier than expected then super I have that space for other sttuff. But I just have too much other stuff, paid and on my own time, to keep friday’s open in perpetuity.

I will however still reviewing the show infrequently as I still love it, Season 5 will probably have plenty of episodes I want to talk about, already it has Leni running for mayor which sounds like one of my wonky spinoff ideas and I love it all the more for that, and ther’es tons of episodes I have and haven’t seen to dig into. So like Lori I won’t be in the house on a daily basis but i’m still going to show up a lot. I already have an April Fools special planned, as well as a retrospective ready for some time in the future. And of course if more Sam and Luna episodes show up, you know i’ll be on those as fast as humanly possible so yeah not leaving the show.. just not coveirng it because I like having some control of my schedule, it’s a thing with me. 

Good then we can get to why your ACTUALLY reading this unless you’ve already scrolled past or scrolled up to this. Next Sunday is Valentine’s Day, and so to continue Valnetine’s Shenanigans on this fine blog, i’m doing some romantic style episodes of the loud hosue for you. I did intend for this to be bigger, but frankly i’ve been running behind on reviews and running out of steam lately, so I paired it down to the two I wanted to do most. So for today we’ll be covering two of the show’s couples: One they badly need to bring back and I question why they haven’t, and one that I feel has gotten a lot of flack for things that aren’t it’s fault. Both are really adorable so expect some awkward blushing, bats, blood, and other stuff rhyming with B under the cut!

Back in Black: So we begin our double feature with Lucy

Yeah I have not covered this adorable harbinger of death enough on this blog, and intended to do this one, among other lucycentric episodes back in october.. and the fact I didn’t is a good argument for why I have a schedule now ain’t it? But sometimes your plans not panning out right at the exact time you planned them works out for you. Not getting to do Plan 9 From Mission Hill during Pride Month meant I got to do it on comission later. And not getting to do this one at Halloween means it still works fine just fine for valentine’s day.  

So we begin the episode with Lincoln working on his science project, with Rusty coming over to help. 

Shockingly though not only is he not just taking a nap or hitting on Lincon’s sisters while Lincoln works but actually helping, he’s actually good at it. I’m as suprsied as you. Though this is early in his characterization, so he hasn’t’nt been established as horribly sucking at everything or his friends being done with his bullshit QUITE yet. Give him time.  This is an interesting moment in the character’s history though, as it’s the episode that firmly establishes him as a close friend of Lincolns. While he was already turned from a member of a random violence gang to LIncoln’s buddy in the span of season 1, this episode cements him as one of his closer pals simply by him coming over and the two being fairly familiar with one another. Granted by that same token Girl Jordan should be in the group.. and I have nothing to add to that. Add Girl Jordan to the Lincrew. Just do it. 

Anyways Rusty brought his brother along. And you’d expect me to be terrified as there’s now three of them. But.. nope I like Rocky. He’s a chill kid and his personality goes together well with Lucy’s as while he’s a more typical kid, he’s still very subdued in his emotions like she is. Also he mentions both parents so my divorce theory.. is honestly still valid as this was three seasons ago and I could buy their mother left during that time. 

And yes Lucy’s in love.. and stalking him a bit as she follows him around the house sighing while he wonders who did that.. though it is a nice clue their compatible. When you can sense the presence of someone whose big running gag is showing up out of nowhere to scare the crap out of people that means something. And it’s either that you’d really get that person or your Wolverine. Or one of his kids. Or his clones. Or clones of his clones. What i’m saying is Rusty’s mom banged the wolverine and his family tree is really weird even by marvel standards. 

But I do give her a pass as she’s not trying to be creepy or obsessive, she just doesn’t know how to talk to him as he’s your average kid and she’s a creature of the night. It’s just a kid being shy which is very refreshing both because pre-savnio being fired the show had some very messed up ideas about relationships and gender politics at times, the latter of which actually crops up here, and because having grown up with the cartoons of the 90′s and 2000′s.. I had to put up with things like this. 

Full Disclosure: I DO ship sonamy.. but only after around Sonic Chronicles, where Bioware and then Sega decided to not make “Constantly harasses sonic despite him clearly not being interested and saying so vocally” and “Obessess over him to a point I worry she’s going to break his legs so he’ll never run away from her again”, as well as aging her up from 12. Still find her ungodly annoying at best and terrible at worst before that point, Sonic CD and Sonic Advance excluded. And yes I am that huge of a nerd, damn proud of it too. 

What i’m getting at is that a little girl unable to talk to a guy and only being kinda creepy because that’s what she does is LEAGUES better than “IT’S NOT CREEPY WHEN A WOMAN DOES IT”. Given this episode was written by a woman that probably helped a lot if not entirely but I don’t blame her for that.. more on that later. 

Point is she’s smitten but her first attempt to talk goes back as he rushes to leave after she tries talking to him.. and also appears out of nowhere to spook him. Come on man, your better than that. YOu sensed her before why not now? Up your game. But yeah Lucy’s depressed while Lincoln talks to her about it, about them leaving and once Lucy confesses she’s into rocky asks what he’s into. Lincoln.. has no idea as he’s barely been around Rocky. He’s just an average kid he dosen’t quite understand. Normal is the word he uses and Lucy ponders that.  We next see the three most traditionally feminine sisters, Lori, Leni and Lola, all pissed someone stole their stuff, though Lori does suspect Lola at first because let’s face it, this fits her MO of being an entitled brat and not being above petty theft. But no the culprit is Lucy who genuinely apologizes and understands that their mad but the other girls are fine with it given the context, which Lucy explained, and are happy to make her over.  This is where the problem I was hinting at comes in: ALL the girls are on board with this makeover plan. the problem is.. only the three who came in in the first place make actually sense making Lucy more tradiotnally feminine. Lori loves fashion and is a control freak who has troubles with empathy at times especially at this point in the series, Leni while not INTETIONALLY hurtful is kind of ditzy and thus can miss some cues, and Lola has a yawning starless void where her soul should be. For these three? Yeah this plot actually makes sense they wouldn’t think of Lucy’s feelings and actually help her use who she is to get rocky or tell her it doesn’t matter she’s beautiful as she is.. then presumably bring the wrath of god down on that poor child before things were cleared up.  The issue is more dragging the other sisters into it. It only fits the three above to really give a shit about making Lucy more “normal” and “Girly” and “Other stereotypical bullshit”. Luna is very chill and empathetic and would be the first to say “Wait maybe making her the opposite of herself isn’t a good idea”, Luan is likewise empathetic though I could possibly see it she really doesn’t need to be in this plot, Lynn ENTIRELY doesn’t fit as she prefers sports and getting dirty and what not and is the closest to Lucy out of the sisters and thus would probably be the most defensive about her not changing and that could’ve actually been interesting, Lana would be the same minus the being closest and Lisa is coldly detached a lot of the time and wouldn’t care about any of this on a good day. It feels HORRIBLY offensive and out of character to have them all suddenly be “nah your not girly enough”. These girls don’t give a shit about whose more feminine than who and it’s really bad to pidgeonhole them as that.  However.. I dont’ blame episode writer Gloria Shen entirely for this. She wrote it, she gets some of the discredit.. but she didn’t DIRECT the episode and a LOT can change from page to screen. No  THAT was series creator and known sexual preadator Chris Savino. And i’m not just blaming him because he’s a creepy asshole, but because the seasons he directed, seasons 1, 2 and most of 3, had a bad habit of having episodes where all the girls acted as a group and often to weak ends, like the green house, the one where they all fought, the gender swap episode or  heavy meddle.. which is a headache for another day. Point is it doesn’t surprise me he didn’t fix this or even genuinely cared to differentiate  them and it’d be until next season where the show fully became an ensemble piece. SO yeah I blame him on this not for his horrible history, but simply because it sounds like his writing style and as director, and a producer on the show, he had the power and responsibility to fix things and did nothing. So if it wasn’t directly his fault in the first place , he certainly didn’t fix it, call it out in storyboarding or well anything. So yeah shared blame all around.

So after a makeover montage, Lucy is uh... well I can’t describe the abomination they’ve created. 

I mean.. none of it works, and I think that’s very much the intent, dosen’t make it any less horrifying. Nothing about this is right: makeup REALLY shouldn’t go on a child in any circumstace so the blush on her cheeks is creepy and makes her look like one of those creepy porcelian dolls that i’m 100% sure either are planning to kill us all one day or were made to keep the souls of the damned trapped inside forever. The ear rings just look creepy and again are a bit much for an 8 year old, and the blonde hair just brings it all together. The pink outfit is fine.. I guess but the face is just so unsettling I can’t process the rest of her outfit and i’m not even going to try. 

Point is she looks terrifying, and not in the fun way she usually does, and Rocky dosen’t know what to make of this. Oh and if your wondering why he’s here Lynn just.. took a hockey stick to Lincoln’s project to get the Spokes Boys back over here, and Lisa mocked him for pointing out the obvious holes in their plan despite being 4 and LIncoln having a girlfriend at this point. Granted his relationship with Ronnie Anne at this point is also kinda effed up, but given you all pushed him in this direction, Lisa still has no room to talk and they amicably broke up at some point once the writers decided “Let’s pretend like this never happened and they were just friends, despite her being introduced with a crush on him and us still replaying episodes with said relationship in play, instead of actually dealing with this directly”. You may be easily able to guess what hte retrospective’s about at this point.  So Lori comes in for phase two .. WITH BOBBY!

Just.. I cannot tell you how much I needed my boy to calm me down after the last two scenes of horribly off character writing and ... that thing up there. He dosen’t do much this episode but every episode is better with Bobby and that’s a scientefic fact. So Lori claims they had a double date fall through which Bobby barely follows along with.. and it does kinda feel pressurey to kinda force Rocky’s hand here but her intentions ARE good, and a group date is a good way to relive presssure. It just ends up falling through becaue Lori wants her to act intentionally helpless, which makes no sense both for Lori’s personality given how driven and controlling she is and how Bobby clearly knows both things and likes the first and she worked on the second for him. So yeah the golf date falls through and Lori apologizes for being a bitch about all of this, as they all do, which again. .has me questioning WHY we needed the whole sister group instead of just Lori and co. Or even just Lori. The show REALLY needed to learn character ballance and while it is struggling on occasion, as seen with how lincolncentric this season has been so far, this episode reminds me it used to be MUCH worse. 

But Lucy thanks them because their intetnions were good, i’m going to need a citation on that given it came off as them wanting her to change because they found her weird nad not because they genuinely wanted to help her, and goes off to sulk about being alone. Lincoln dosen’t know what to do till the next day where, again suprisingly, Rusty had the right idea and had them come over to his place. We also find out he’s scared of blood.. which.. I can relate to. Seriously i’ve only insulted the guy once the whole episode

But we find that out because Rocky made his own because he actually found Lucy’s really cool, what a kid. So Lincoln gets the brothers over to his house by damaging the project himself then claming they need to go back and once he sees Lucy’s around has Rocky go into the kitchen to get them some sodas which he agrees to because why not. 

So in a nice little change-up on the running gag Rocky shows up startling Lucy and we get a really fucking cute scene as they hash things out. They have a normal conversation, finally getting past their shared awkwardness, in part because he admits he prefers her as herself.  As it turns out Rocky wasn’t scared.. he just thought she was too cool for him and felt intimidated and like Lucy had no idea what to say. The two then blush and after my heart melts and I freeze it back into shape in a few hours, the two decide to go look at her coffin collection and the next day proudly show off their perfected fake blood.. which destroys the project one more time. WAH WAH WAH. Oh rusty... I knew I could count on you to fuck up at least once. 

Back in Black Final Thoughts: First off Black in Black: Weird Name. I mean it kinda gives the game away, not that fans would thikn horrifying mistake lucy would stick but still, and dosen’t really fit. Call it “Why Do Ghoul’s Fall in Love” or something like that or something related to makeovers. Makeover Mistep. Don’t Make Me Over. Makeover Your Case... okay that last one sounds more like the Legally Blond equilvent of Cobra Kai but the point is it’s just weird.  Outside of the parts I already went in detail about why their dreadful.. this ep is pretty good. That one bit isn’t enough to derail the episode, merley take it’s goodness down a notch, and Lucy is genuinely fun to watch and her heartbreak is hard to watch, and Rocky was an engaging new character with lots of potetial. A large part of why I did this episode. is to ask WHY he hasn’t come back. Rusty’s now a major character, to the point he’s co-headlining an episode next week with Zach... why Zach’s getting an episode, a SECOND one at that I have no earthly idea but the point is the show’s getitng comfortable enought heir giving lincoln’s friends starring episodes without him too, as Liam got one , if alongside Lynn the power couple of 2021 I tells ya. My point is, besides when is Stella getting an episode dammit, that Rocky really should make a come back as he both provides another character for Rusty and the rest of the lincrew to bounce off of, and he and Lucy had genuine chemstiry and now she has her OWN cast there’s an easy story there about her friends reaction to her dating a non goth. There’s a lot of story potetial with this precious boy bring him back.  But overall Pretty in Black is a decent episode, worth checking out if you haven’t seen it and rewatching even if you have.

Stage Plight: So we open with Luann, whose one of my personal faviorites along with Leni, Luna, and Lucy. Granted I haven’t checked out her yearly bouts of going ax crazy on her family yet, but we’ll see in april. But outside of that, which is easy enough to isee iven it’s three episodes out of 214 where she’s like this and she gets her compuance, I find her precious, awkward, and entertaining, from her habit of saying “Get it “ to her love of puns, to the fact she’s essentially a wholesome version of the batman villian the ventriloquist..

Yeah in case you forgot about this gag, she often talks through her dummy Mr. Coconuts.. who functions as her sounding board and helps her figure things out, talks like he’s from the 40′s or 50′s, and in general is a delight. He also once or twice, including this episode acts of his own free will so I don’t know if this is a Child’s Play situation and a dying comedian put his body in her dummy and she’s just rolling with it, if she somehow put a piece of her soul in a dummy or what the hell’s going on here. Compared to the series recently what with it’s mayoral campagins, children murdering guys, and actualy factual spies, this is mildly sane. MIldly. This may also be a serious and untreated case of Disociative Identnity Disorder, but given it’s not framed that way, and Coconuts just seems to be Luann’s way of talking with herself, for now she has’nt gone full vintriloquist. Thoguh givne her april fools day behavior and her profession as a comedian, she probably WILL become the new joker at a some point. 

So the two are talking about Luann’s crush on Benny. Benny was introduced back in L is for Love and is one of the only three love interests there to actually return, and along with Sam the only onen to get multiple episodes about their relationship with their respective loud and a full personality. He was also MASSIVELY hated. For those who joined the fandom more recently, Luann was massively shipped with Maggie, an emo girl who showed up in Luann’s second spotlight episode and one where she didn’t torment her entire family, one I still need to see but have read about. It was pretty cute and nothing was wrong with that or the opposites attract dynamic. But said fans got REALLY and understandibly upset about his introduction and were presumibly none too happy he got to return and got his roll expanded.  And I.. genuinely like the kid. I have nothing against Maggie and in fact poly ship her with both Luann and Benny, as both seem like they’d be open to that and her dour demanor creates a nice contrast between the chipper luann and the somewhat chipper but also chill benny in the middle. I just feel he’s a very likeable character, sweet and awkward and very much on Luann’s wavelength. Like Sam he’s SIMILAR to his love intrest, having Luann’s love of puns, mime and the theater, but is also not quite as giggly about it and as I said has a bit more of a chill to him, in contrast to how sam is slightly more energetic to Luna’s near constant calm off stage. 

I also like him because he’s voiced by Sean Giabrone, an up and coming voice actor who I first met watching the Goldbergs as Adam. His other biggest role so far has been playing Jeff on Clarence, though he’s currently picked up another lead voice roll as Yumulack on Solar Opposites, easily one of the best parts of that show, and has done othe rminor and recurring work, but I feel he’s got the potetial to have a long and fruitful career in voice acting if he wants it. I mean he’s far from the first former ABC star or former Ron Stoppable to make a long and successful voice career of himself. Be the next will fredle man you can do it. 

But yeah I like him and think their cute together and feel demonizing a ship for one that had a low chance of happening isn’t fair, especially when you know, we’re in a fandom where incest runs rampant and is STILL a recurring problem to this day. Pick your fucking battles for god’s sake. As I mentioned you can put maggie in with this relationship or Still ship luaggie regardless. 

So back in the episode Luann and Coconuts notice Benny signing up for the school play and decide to join him. 

Yeah i’ve noticed that a LOT of school set plots are about one of the mains joining a play to either be near or play romantic lead with their crush, or romantic hyjinks happening anyway.  Seriously i’ts a lot. I DID think most of them were around romeo and juliet, and Proud Family, Pepper Anne, and Ned’s Declassified all are probably why, it’s actually way more diverse and i’m happy to give credit to shows and movies for that:  Jimmy Neutron used Macbeth (IN SPACEEEEEE), American Dragon Jake Long used Antony and Cleopatra, as did the comic strip Foxtrot (That one I remembered), Daria used the canterbury tales, Arrested Development used Much Ado about Nothing, and one of my faviorite instances is the film Get Over it. It’s a cheesy as hell early 2000′s high school pg-13 comedy, that I loved as a teen and nos nostalgicaly love but am aware it has issues and some stitled acting as an adult where our hero joins the high school play in order to win his ex girlfriend back from the douchebag she’s seeing now and ends up falling for his best friend’s kid sister instead. They do a mid summer’ night’s dream, which is not only awesome SOMEONE thought to use that one , as the film has given me a special affection for the play.. but it’s a cheesy musical version written by the gloriously over acted director of the play played by martin short. 

My faviorite part of it is the boy band style number about Hermia. Yes really. And I didn’t even get into the fact Siquo is one of the main character’s best friends, Kristin Dunst had to reshoot a scene while making the first rami spider-man , our heroes weird parents who are sex therapists and have no real filter AND offer Coolio a threesome on their advice show, and yes the actual coolio and yes that was an actual person that existed, or best of all the douchey rival who stole our heroes girlfriend, whose not only a former boy band member whose band peformed the song love scud, but also threatens our hero with nunchucks at one point. 

Just see this movie.. i’ll hopefully talk about it some day. 

Point is this kind of plot is stock.. but it’s the good kind you can do a lot of twists and turns with as every example mentioned, even the ones using the crush thing, had some clever twist or turn. And this one is no exception as we’ll see. 

So we meet Ms. Berardo, the schools HAMMY as hell drama teacher who gives herself an entrance and is just wondrously entertaining throughout. She’s played by Grey Delise Griffin, which I could recognize immodestly and man does she bring it. Seriously bring her back. Wonderful character. So our heroine and her leading man audition and in a refreshing change of pace they do not get the lead rolls, instead a modern valley girl and a jock who writes his stuff on his arms do so instead.  But since Bernado’s a bit nuts, she decides to have the Montagues and Capulets practice separately despite tha not making a ton of sense, to drive up tension and what not. I mean isolating an actor to drive up tension is a vallid technique but even having not read Romeo and Juliet since high school, over a decade ago, I can tell you they have several scenes together and this is a logistical nightmare. However our heroine finagles her way over to swapping camps so she can talk to Benny since honestly given the whole thing was a way to get to spend more time with him, she might as well quit otherwise. It also.. isn’t a bad tactic. She wants to know him before asking him out properly, which is fair and a good way to go, and they already know each other and are friendly, and it’s something she likes doing anyway as they were both involved with a play in his first appearance and her liking theater makes sense as she’s a comedian, and while she clearly prefers standup, it’s often a natural evolution to go fromt hat to acting in comedy stuff or making your own show, so it’s not a bad idea to learn that side of the buisness too. 

So Luann FINALLY gets to talk to Benny.. after fast ball specialing mr coconuts in the way of someone trying to sit down

But we get a really cute moment as the two just.. talk like two dorky teenagers; They talk about the real mimes of la, which I want badly to be a show.. even if it’s just to find out what the Mime from Animaniacs is up to now. Where DID that guy go? Did the anvil finally kill him? These are the kinds of things that keep me up at night.. which is probably why I’m finishing this at 4 in the morning. But the two have genuine chemistry with Luann offering him her banana, phrasing, and making a pun he chuckles at. It’s adorable as all hell. 

And Bernardo notices, and since her leads have no sparks she regretfully demotes them.. though their reaction is hilariously realistic as both are just happy to have less lines and walk off. She decides to cast Luann and Benny despite being freshman which would never happen but eh this is a unvierse with a snakebird and spies trying to destroy cherries with a death laser why I do I care two seasons later if two freshman got the leads in the play. Still I love the twist: our hero wasn’t trying to get the lead to creeiply force intamacy or anything.. the two just had natural chemistry and the director noticed that and wants to use it. 

But while this should be great.. it isn’t as Luann keeps dodging actually kissing Benny when they rehearse the kiss. The reason.. is really frigging endearing. Luann simply hasn’t kissed anyone before, this will be her first.. and naturally she’s REALLY nervous about having it in front of a crowd or Benny thinking she’s a bad kisser. And I mean... while I had no personal experience at that age in kissing, most media and personal accounts detail it as awkward as fuck. But that’s the irony: she dosen’t KNOW it’s always awkward and thus is putting a ton of pressure on herself like anyone her age.

So she breaks under the pressure despite the reasurances of her Dummy/Possible Sign that she needs therapy and while she finds a way out the next Day Benny has aburbtly quit because of “chess club”.. which he’s not in. Luann finds him and talks to him about it, worried it’s her fault.. and she’s right, though Benny bowed out because she clearly wasn’t comfortable with him and didn’t want to make her kiss him when she clearly wasn’t comfortable with it. What a man what a man what a mighty good man. Luann TRIES to explain.. and then lets Mr Coconuts do it. Which usually in high school would lead to humilating rejection. instead Benny brings out his own puppet Mrs. Appleblossom. 

Just those eyes.. black and souless.. like a doll’s eyes.. because htey are a doll’s eyes. So yeah Benny also has a puppet he uses to say the things he’s too nervous to say. Which is endearing even if again , KILL IT. KILL IT. I mean i’ts like tha tone guy from victorious if the puppets were actually charming and one of them looked like it was about to play hide the soul. Mrs. Appleblossom explains that Benny is also nervous and with the air cleared and the two realizing theyw ere nervous about the same thing... the inevitible happens

So that fades into the kiss happening on stage, with Luann’s family cheering her, our heroes take a fookin bow and Coconuts and Appleblossom look on.. and talk somehow...and somehow got in the seats on their own. 

Stage Plight Final Thoughts: This episode.. is one of the series best, with great pacing, a low amount of repetition and a relatable conflict, while building up Luann’s love intrest to be a wonderful and engaging guy, and giving us a hell of a guest character and Mrs. Gerardo. This episod eis great, the chemistyr between Gambrone and Pucelli is fantastic. This one is just awesome and worth a look especially if the ship contrversy had hit you hard. It really is good. And there’s always room for benny. Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure. 

[jengajives]

dont tell anyone i made this

It smelled like clean linen and sea air, cradling him in blue-green and the feeling of silk. His vision was a softened collage of yellows and whites, and everything was so soft… He couldn’t remember the last time he slept in a bed. A real, actual bed. And he couldn’t remember the last time he woke up without a hangover. It was a blessing, but Jesus Christ. James Norrington hadn’t felt relieved in quite a while. Slowly, very slowly, Norrington blinked his eyes open and got a glimpse of fresh ceilings and intricate crown molding, sunlight streaking in and the distant cry of tropical birds. He sighed, let his face relax again, and started to stretch beneath silky sheets, feeling through each of his limbs- finding very little new soreness, just the aches he’d accumulated from his rowing trip a few days ago. Strange not to have any new pains. When he raised his hand to his head, and jolted just a little, simply because he’d forgotten his hair had been cut. At Beckett’s insistence, of course. Beckett had insisted on a lot. Norrington ran his fingertips through the sinfully short locks of hair. It had been a complete mess before, tangled and knotted beyond salvation, but now it was too short. Not even enough length to catch his fingers in. He felt.. naked, somehow. He was naked, actually. He had noticed the kiss of heavenly sheets on his skin before, but only now did he really become aware of it. With a sleepy sigh, Norrington started to sit up, rubbing his sheared head with a massive yawn. The room was airy, with light paint and expensive-looking furnishings. An enormous set of glass doors looked out over Port Royal, the greenery of the island and the crystalline sea beyond, and Norrington was momentarily distracted watching the ant-sized ships coming in and out of the harbor. Beautiful. A beautiful sight and a massive bed and clean sheets and Norrington was in shock as he moved his gaze slowly across the room to the foot of the bed. Standing there, buttoning up a military frock, was Lord Cutler Beckett. He wasn’t wearing the powdered wig yet, so his hair was a mess of mousy curls that tumbled messily down and caught in the collar of his shirt. And with the shirt not yet fully buttoned, Norrington could see the well-defined compactness of his torso and he marveled at how smooth it all was. How solid and enticing Beckett looked in this light, at this angle. Then Beckett noticed Norrington noticing him, and he smiled his saccharine smile. “Good morning, Admiral.” Admiral? Admiral. Had a nice ring to it. Nice enough to make Norrington forget where he was and with whom, though it very quickly came back to bite him. Was this Beckett’s room? His room? He was in Beckett’s room in his bed and he was naked. Norrington’s mouth fell open, staring without the ability to form words, and Beckett chuckled with friendliness so uncharacteristic it turned right back around to unfriendliness. Norrington had absolutely no idea what to say so he didn’t say anything. Just stared. Beckett was buckling on a sword belt, looking quite pleased with himself, and he was so incredibly handsome in a way that made Norrington’s stomach feel hollow-ish and strange. He was starting to remember what had happened last night and it was turning his brain inside-out. God. He couldn’t say he was unhappy about it, but God. He was just surprised. “Sir,” Norrington said stiffly. He gripped the blankets, shy, and again rubbed his shaved head. “I… Good morning, sir.” Beckett shrugged his royal blue coat on and began buttoning it without looking up again. “I trust you slept well?” “I did,” he replied unevenly. “Thank you.” Thank you. Was that even an okay thing to say? Thank you to the man he had just… well… This was certainly not something that he did often. At all. He wasn’t supposed to know what to say… right? He was not very good at this. “Thank you,” Beckett repeated, and chuckled. “Very eloquent of you, James. Very eloquent indeed.” Hearing his first name was… Strange, to be honest. Someone like Lord Beckett should not refer to him that way. Given the circumstances, though, it was probably more than appropriate. Norrington swung his legs over the side, finding his clothes left there crumpled and ugly. He dressed like a beggar nowadays and it always irked him, but it wasn’t as if he had any other option. No money in the bank, no notoriety to speak of, no reputation. As he reached down for his tattered and stained shirt, Beckett looked over sharply and made a sharp click of his tongue. “Come now, James. You have a station to uphold, don’t you? Can’t go about wearing rags.” That’s right. Admiral. Admiral. He rubbed his face again, completely overwhelmed. “Sir?” he asked drily, somewhat strangled. “Did you forget about your promotion, Admiral?” Beckett asked, with an amount of ruthlessness that he probably thought was playful. It did not sound too playful but Norrington, frankly, did not care. He just sat there, trying to absorb all of this all at once. Beckett, arranging his wig on his head, tipped his nose up. “There is not another man I would more trust with my fleet,” he said, stepping closer with assured and confident strides. “Besides. I’m going to need someone to look after Davy Jones, aren’t I?” Norrington let out a rasping breath, and when he looked up Beckett was there, tucking his fingers under his jaw almost lovingly. Not entirely lovingly but so close to it. Close enough that it made Norrington’s heart shudder because he so much wanted someone to just touch him. “I will do my best,” Norrington breathed. “I will do whatever I can to help, sir. I swear. I won’t let you down.” “Naturally,” Beckett agreed. “I would expect nothing less from my star officer.” Star. Admiral. Beckett didn’t kiss him, as much as he wanted him to, just straightened up and started towards the door. “Your uniform is in the closet. I’m looking forward to seeing you in it.” Norrington simply nodded, clasping his fists on the sheets and breathing heavily through his own amazement and shock.

[crossinggalaxies]

hey did you see chloes instagram about how sadness was coming and her eyes were insanely swollen? im really nervous that fitzsimmons is gonna die, one of them at least, because who else would leave other than iain who has been filming for something else and it also explains why gemma looks so sad in the poster. im kind of freaking out. do you think theyd do that???

Yikes I knew id end up getting a question like that. So as you are currently one of four in my inbox, and I don’t want to repeat my thoughts here’s everything that is going through my head since I saw her instagram post.

1. Yes i think someone is dying. She said it was sad which carries the connotation, especially how she said it, that it is bad. 

2. That  type of crying and look on her face screams that it’s a death to me and that it’s of someone close on the cast. You don’t look like that for someone who isn’t a regular. That was very much the look of saying goodbye to someone you’ve been with for a while.

3. Yes i am concerned about FS. For a few reasons other’s have voiced. 1. I don’t believe they’d kill Mac. He had an almost death scare recently, it would be silly to do that again and he really is the only ass kicking super macho man on the show. 2. Yoyo just became a regular. It wouldn’t make sense to kill her off. 3. Coulson is the head of show essentially, it was literally built off of his character presence in the existing Marvel movies. 4. Daisy is really the icon of the show. The main superhero and Chloe is too in love with her job to want to leave. 5. So that leaves FS. Who  some people before this were already concerned about because they thought the “I don’t want to live another day without you” line sounded already slightly ominous when said. And I’m scared because while Fitz is an amazing unique character. His skills could be replaced. Same with Jemma. 

HOWEVER! And i want to make this perfectly clear, i don’t in my heart think that SMART people would kill either one of FS. Here’s why.

1. Iain was filming for a movie. So don’t even worry about that as it’s over and now in post production.

2. It is literally awful writing. Can you imagine someone after 5 years getting the two of those finally together and engaged after continuously toying with the audience regarding separation. Having Fitz make that huge beautiful speech. Literally having him say that he refused to let anything get in the way for them to kill him off. As a writer I want to be clear that I think that is ABSOLUTE trash writing if that were to happen. An Unbiased awful premise honestly. 

3. They are the heart of the show. I really dont care what anyone says there is a HUGE part of this fandom that watches because of these two. Without them I imagine ratings and viewership would do absolutely awful. It’s not a smart business move. Which brings me into my next point.

4. They have put too much stock into it. First off they gave it to Clark Gregg for his directional debut. It was something that they knew was a long time coming. All the cast were so absolutely excited about it. Lil wouldn’t stop liking stuff about Fitzsimmons. Marvel made a video dedicated to the ship and tweeted about it multiple times. They had a panel just for these two because of the fandom support. The ratings ticked up just because of this recent episode. Chloe made comments about how many cute moments were coming and said she wanted to be involved in the wedding. Lil mentioned the wedding. Iain mentioned he didn’t see them ever breaking up. Literally all the cast and the people who support the show both as staff and as financial backers, have mentioned Fitzsimmons in positive light. 

5. Iain has been that way since day one. He is shy and not really involved in anything something social media related. Nothing has changed. And because he’s shy and doesn’t really put himself out there into the public eye I can’t imagine he’d want to leave the comfort of a role and a cast he knows so well and start over in whole new position somewhere else. Just doesn’t seem like someone with his personality would opt out to do. 

So overal, yes I’m nervous. And as much as I love Daisy and I love Chloe who plays her I will say I really find it a little bit of a bad decision to have put that out there but who knows maybe it will attract viewers or some shit. But overall I can confidently say that at the end of the day I dont think they’d do that and if they did, then they really have become horrible storytellers and quite frankly a little bit wicked in their ways because continuation wise it makes no storytelling sense to do so. 

THOUGHTS that anyone else would like to add?

[rocketrole-jmzc]

-

Elton had woken up to an empty bed with a blaring head ache as he always seemed to now a days. He knew he had booked a booth at the studio for the week but it was Wednesday and he knew he could get away with missing one day out of the five that he had booked. The sun was already in the middle of the sky by now and Elton cursed whoever had left the curtains open, it was too damn bright. He blindly searched his bedside table for a pill bottle popping a few painkiller managing to swallow them dry before reluctantly reopening his eyes. Lazily Elton swung his legs over the bedside and padded down toward the kitchen passing John's office on his way down. The door was shut which was seldom the case but Elton didnt think much of it. Coffee had already been brewed and Elton poured himself a cup splashing baileys into the mug and sighing as he brought it to his lips. There was a dull thud above him and Elton sighed, with his pre existing headache and sour mood he didnt want to investigate but then he heard a similar sound but louder like something had fallen. Reluctantly Elton set down the mug and made his way back up the stairs opening the door to John's office caught him off guard "Excuse me?" He shouted his brain working to hard to process what he was seeing to say something proper.

Earlier that morning John’s secretary was over delivering some paperwork. Although it was work that could easily be mailed, the two had been casually flirting for a couple weeks now and the man was going out of his way to see John. John never thought things would go this far but now he had the man pinned down against the desk, clothes discarded long ago and going at it. John and Elton had been drifting apart for months, barely talking aside from fighting, and John thought Elton was out of the house so he wasn’t being careful. When the door to the office opens his secretary quickly pushes John off of him, looking guilty and scrambling to put on his clothes. John’s slower about it; he knows he should feel guilty or embarrassed but he’s mostly just annoyed to have been interrupted. “I thought you were out,” he supplies after putting his boxers back on, working to pull on his pants and get his belt done up.

Eltons jaw sets in place as he watches the other two scramble apart his stomach lurching at the sight of his partner being unfaithful. He scoffs at the other mans words feeling his rage boiling up inside him "That all you've got to say John? Hm? Really that's all you have to say," He says his voice high and tight as he works hard to keep himself from shouting. The secretary is still scrambling to grab his things and Elton glares daggers at the young man "and you," his tone is low and feral as he addresses the secretary "Get out!" He shouts at the secretary his breathing heavy from hurt and frustration as the man scrambles away.

John watches him go then turns to Elton, his expression the same as if Elton was just a minor annoyance, or simply a mild inconvenience needing to be dealt with. “Quite frankly it’s a miracle you’re sober enough to even process what’s going on around you,” he marvels, pulling on his undershirt and beginning to do up the buttons.

Eltons eyes narrowed his heart pounding "That's it? Youre screwing your fucking secretary in /my house/ and that's all you have to fucking say John?" Hes aware hes screaming now approaching John as he speaks "How fucking long? Huh? A week? A month? Is this all the fucking work you need to do?" Elton barely stops for a breath shoving John knowing it wont help the situation but his blind rage is too strong for him to stop himself.

The shove quickly changes John’s demeanor, his shoulders squaring and his jaw clenching. “This was the first time, actually. I’m surprised I didn’t think of it sooner, what with you always gone, high, or picking fights with me,” he shoots back, starting to get angry. “Did you seriously think you could get away with always lashing out physically, without any ill consequences? The work I’ve been needing to do is covering up black eyes you give me,” he brings attention to their more recent fights, which had been getting increasingly more violent.

Elton audibly laughs at John's words "First time? Or first time with him John and dont you dare act all high and mighty when we both know that I am not the only one causing fights," His words rose with anger knocking over one of the chairs in front of John's desk "And lucky for both of us, I had to learn how to cover up that shot of thing very quickly," he sneered in John's face now but he turns away quickly shaking from the anger he cant control.

“Don’t fucking break anything in here,” John warns when Elton knocks over the chair. He rolls his eyes at the others words. “It’s not my fault you thought I loved you enough to only ever be with you,” he practically spits. The seconds the words leave his mouth he regrets them, since they’re not true. He’s purposely lashing out at Elton where he knows it’ll hurt. He knows how sensitive the other is about these things, that deep down the other was afraid nobody really loved him. Which wasn’t true; despite everything that had happened John still loves Elton, but the love has been flattened down from weeks of fighting, Elton ignoring him and vice versa. He shows no sign of regret though, simply crossing his arms.

Elton feels the anger in his chest deflate into cold hurt as he hears the words leave John's mouth. His mothers words rose up in his mind but he quickly shoved her out of his thoughts trying to keep himself angry before heart break set in. He turns to look at John his jaw tight from anger though the hurt shown threw his eyes "Get out of my house John!" He shouts ignoring the other mans cold warning and hurling a glass paper weight into the book shelf next to the other man "Get the fuck out!"

John grits his teeth harder when Elton throws the weight; it shatters, the sound echoing throughout the room, and part of the bookshelf collapses, spilling books and a few records onto the floor. All restraint leaves him instantly and he storms up to Elton. “Don’t. Break. My fucking stuff!” He growls, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and almost raising him up off the floor. “If I come back here and you’ve messed with any of this, I won’t let you off so easy,” he threatens, harshly shoving Elton away before turning to briskly walk out of the room, heading to leave.

The breath is knocked from his chest as John pushes him against the wall fighting every instinct to fight back. But even as John is walking away Elton paces after him hardly ready to let that go "stuff you bought with the money you made from my records you twat!" He shouted slamming himself in the bedroom still seething from the fight

John doesn’t stop when he hears Elton yelling after him, storming out of the house. He calls a car to take him to his apartment in the city, and once he gets there he sits at his desk, still shaking with anger. His own words echo through his head and he tries to push away the guilt; feeling guilty won’t help anything. He knows he messed up but he’d never admit that, he’d defend himself to the death if it kept out the humiliation of apologizing. He pours himself a drink, downing it in seconds and refilling his glass. He continues like that until it’s hard to pour anymore, spilling his drink onto the carpet. He doesn’t care though.

Elton hears the door slam and kicks blindly in frustration. John's words still stung and he reached out for the only coping skill he had: substances. He stares at the bottle for a moment a few silent tears slipping down his cheeks. Elton truly didnt want to loose John but he wasnt sure how he could trust him again.

John sits at his desk with his head in his hands. He feels like he should do something; instead of just sitting at home when he knows Elton’s probably losing it miles away. The other mans known to overdose and attempt, and a brief flash of worry that maybe he’s already done it, and John would get a call saying a maid had found Elton dead in his office. He nervously chews on his bottom lip. He opens one of his drawers and pulls out a small metal tin, taking a small spoonful of the white powder and heavily snorting it. He lays his head on the cold wooden desk, his senses buzzing and his head spinning as he tries to forget his worries.

-

It had been a little less than a week since Elton and John had spoken although hed seen that secretary around more than enough. Each time was a painful reminder of what he had found that morning and he wondered why he hadnt been fired yet. He made his way down the stairs with his trunk, it was the first day of travel for his tour and the last person he expected to see sitting across from him in the car was John "No work you need to do?" He spat, his bitterness speaking for him before he could stop it.

“This is the work I need to do,” John responds dully, his tone implying he’d like to roll his eyes, though he keeps himself from actually doing it. “Besides, somebody has to make sure you don’t kill yourself before you even go onstage,” he adds, hating that their first exchange in almost a week is hateful and bitter.

"Ah," Elton responds his eyes cold as they settle on John "wed hate to have to refund tickets," He supplies pouring himself a drink from the tumbler that they kept in the car for trips such as these "Where are we starting off again?" Elton asks downing the drink hed just poured for himself looking out the window.

“You have your first show tonight in L.A, then another tomorrow night,” John answers emotionlessly. Once Elton’s poured himself a drink he takes the tumbler, pouring himself one and downing it as well. He pours another, sipping this one a bit slower, looking out the window to ignore Elton. He’s clearly shutting him out, not giving him any attention.

Elton doesnt respond he fishes the tin from his coat pocket and takes a bit on the end of his pinky inhaling and leaning back his nose beginning to drip "Fuck, lend me your handkerchief," he asks his head tipping back to try and stop the bleeding.

John nods and takes the handkerchief out of a pocket on his lapel, handing it to Elton. He notices how thin Elton’s blood is and it makes him grimace: of course his is exactly the same, but he hates knowing Elton’s just as far gone with drugs as he is. “Try holding your breath, it’ll help the blood stop quicker,” he suggests softly.

Elton holds the fabric to his nose huffing, the tip feels condescending but he tries it and it works. He wipes the excess away and glares at John the substance on his system making his heart pound "If you dont fire that secretary then I will and I'm sure I wont be as nice about it as you would be," He doesn't intend for it to sound threatening but he hears his voice distantly and knows it must have

John raises an eyebrow, glaring a bit. “He’s good at his job, he’s been making things a lot more organized and efficient. Things won’t run as smoothly with him gone. But if you want to let your personal problems get in the way of your career then I can’t stop you. I’ll call him later and tell him he’s been let off,” he tells him, not much emotion showing in his voice at all.

Hurt boiled up in him as John tried to defend the other man but he didnt let it show unsurprisingly the conversation veered back towards his career. "Well I suppose that depends on if he continues to be a personal problem," Elton replies his tone icy "and would you get off your damn high horse you cant possibly be pretending that keeping the man you're sleeping with on payroll is for my benefit,"

John’s expression quickly turns to annoyance, looking at Elton almost as if he’s tired. “It /is/ for your benefit, but I’m not going to sit here and argue with you about something you know nothing about,” he retorts. His tone is still superior, but it’s only a coverup for how lost he feels. There’s no going back from what he did, and he’s much too ashamed to apologize, so the only thing he knows to do is defend himself, and to do that he’s trying to distance himself from Elton. All of his responses are given without any real emotion behind them, like he’s giving pre-rehearsed lines to somebody who works for him. He almost seems distant, occasionally glancing out the window, doing his best to avoid eye contact.

The other mans stoney tone just fueled John's anger his uncaring attitude and Elton opened his mouth to respond instead he just filled his glass again and downed his drink leaning his head back against the car seat. The last few days had been hellish and Elton wanted nothing more than to just forget about the hurt that John had caused him. But every time he thought of the other man all he could picture what what he had found that morning and that's what made him speak again "You know I dont know the last time you cared about my benefit, so I suppose I should be thankful you're shagging this poofer, hm?"

That gets John’s attention, and he turns to glare at Elton. He hates how Elton’s always saying that John doesn’t work hard at his job, and that he doesn’t care about Elton’s well-being, because that’s the one thing he always tried hard to do; make things as smooth and seamless as possible to make Elton’s life easier. He narrows his eyes, his face turned up in a scowl. “I’ve always cared about your benefit. I can count on one hand how many times there’s been a major slip-up in concert schedules or distributing records. That’s because I’ve always put your convenience over everything, because I know what kind of person you are. Throwing tantrums like a child if your private jets temperature isn’t exactly 70 degrees,” he says almost mockingly.

Elton doesnt respond he knows John's right in some capacity but the difference is John is the one in the wrong this time and he hates that he wont admit it. He cant stand the anger that brews in his stomach and a silent frustrated tear slips down his cheek. Hes quick to wipe it away and he pours himself another glass sipping it slower this time.

John notices the tear, a sharp pang of guilt hitting him. He turns away, looking out the window and shutting Elton out again. His face is expressionless and uncaring, just to hide how upset he is. The silence is heavy and tense, and he wants more than anything to break it somehow, but he knows anything he’d say would only come across as cruel, so he stays quiet.

"Is he the only one?" Elton asks unable to help himself, he doesn't really want to know those words that he isnt enough for John makes him wonder if this is the first time or he hasnt made John happy for a long time. The thought hurts more than he cares to admit, and he takes another swig.

John nods, turning back to partially face him. He’d much rather not talk about it, but he knows Elton deserves to know the truth. “Like I said before that was the first time. I never meant for things to go that far,” he tells him, knowing it’s no excuse or even close to an apology. It’s the truth, though; it started out as harmless flirting, just a way for John to get his fights with Elton off his mind. They’d never even kissed until the morning it happened. They had been in John’s office, casually flirting, when the other man had made a sudden move and kissed him. John let things progress, even encouraging them onward, because he was so starved for affection from fighting with Elton for months. He didn’t have any real feelings for the secretary, everything the other man had done John found himself thinking how Elton could do it so much better. John wishes he’d never let the flirting continue in the first place.

Elton scoffs and shakes his head as John speaks because hearing it hurts but hes glad he's able to actually listen to the other man, part of that being the alchohol rushing through his system. Some strange part of him feels like he should be apologizing to John, for what he didnt know but hed do anything to keep the other man from doing something like that again but theres another part of him that isnt satisfied and he raised the glass to his lips. Its exhausting to have the part of him that need affection and the part of him that was anger was at war and his anger always won out.

John tries to read Elton’s expression but isn’t able to. Now that Elton’s not yelling at him it’s easier to convince himself to at least try to apologize. “I don’t... I mean...there were no feelings involved. I know that doesn’t make it any better.. and what I said last week, about not loving you.. that wasn’t true, I didn’t do what I did because you’re not enough,” he tries to reassure him. It’s the truth but he knows it’s probably unbelievable. His tone is gentle now, more emotional, like he’s taken down the walls that were keeping him so far away.