traceydanine

[traceydanine]

Silvio wants to wish everyone a happy #nationalcatday #kittensofinstagram #goofycatsofinstagram #happyhalloween https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpigd9mlqik-utovinTXQPwT_iPW20zgwWFKJM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=t8pm9r1ak7w5

[traceydanine]

Christmas Eve

I remember dancing in front of a Zenith console stereo cabinet to an Andy Williams Christmas album.  I was already sweaty in my Polly Flinders dress and my tights were already bagging in the crotch as I danced giddily around the room to “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” sung by Andy Williams.

My mother was in the kitchen finishing up the food offering that we were taking to my grandma’s house on this most magical night of the year, Christmas Eve. The smells coming out of that kitchen made my stomach growl.  

I could hear the water running in the sink as my mother washed up the rest of the dishes and the clatter of the dishes banging against each other as they were hurriedly placed in the drainer.  My mother always hummed as she cooked, cleaned, washed and dried.  Her hum was keeping time with the music tonight that came tumbling and spinning out of those massive sparkling cloth speakers. 

Andy was in fine form tonight.  My mother was in fine form tonight because she would see her sisters Ruby and Carolyn and her brothers Donald and Gary.  I loved them all and I knew they loved me right back in that unconditional way that my parents loved me.  My grandma loved me too.  I was the first and even though I wasn’t the prettiest or the smartest I was the damn first and that meant something in my family. It still means something to me. I work much harder for social standing now, but then, it was my birthright.

My aunts and uncles spoiled me.  My Aunt Carolyn’s husband, my Uncle Harry, always doted on me, and still does.  Aunt Carolyn, well, she is my aunt, but now she is my friend too. She took me to my doctor’s appointments when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and listened and listened to the girl who used to wear smocked dresses and danced to Andy Williams. My mother’s eldest sister, Aunt Sissy, or Ruby as is her given name, although she is affected by dementia, she is still a spark plug of a person, and she loves me too.  Uncle Gary and Aunt Sissy never married - all of their nieces and nephews were their children and we ate it up like the Brachs Christmas candy in the dish on the end table at our Grandma’s house. My Uncle Don and his wife Aunt Diana loved me and love me still.  My mother cried many tears over the memories of my Uncle Don getting sick with diphtheria when he was little. 

Love was all around, everywhere I looked, it was there.  It was in the meals that my sweet mother made. It was in the voice of my father as he read to me and my sister each night.  It was the smell of the bleach in the towels and in the crispness of the sheets.   It was in the cake my mother baked in the oven.   It was in every bow and box and ribbon.

Love is all around, everywhere I look.  Even though my mother no longer hums in the kitchen, even though she has been gone from my sight for almost 20 years now, love is still there.  My father just died this June and I no longer get to see his blue eyes look at me with affection but love is still there. 

It hangs in the air, it drifts down from the moon, it lights up my face when I look at my son’s face.  It sings a song when my sister calls me and talks with me about those Christmas Eves.  Those days of glory in smartly ironed dresses, patent leather shoes and tights.  With the snow drifting down all around our family as the last person says goodbye and the door is shut behind us.

[traceydanine]

Just me walking at dusk at Sycamore Park. Such tranquility as I walk in the fading light as the woods and I both draw nigh to the edge of winter. (at Batavia, Ohio)

[traceydanine]

[traceydanine]

At my sister and bro-in-laws in #puntagorda. 72 degrees and breezy. (at Punta Gorda, Florida)

[traceydanine]

Your local library’s e-books will now show up in Google searches - Now, when you search for a book through Google, results for libraries near you that carry that e-book will show up along with outlets where you can buy it.

[traceydanine]

I was alone today and feeling bluesy until I realized I was surrounded by beauty. #clermontcountyohio #wildflowers

[traceydanine]

Beautiful #periscope of Loch Lindean in Scotland this morning by Andrew @a9630 #scotland #loch #scotlandsbeauty

[traceydanine]

When you ask Siri if she watches Game of Thrones.

[traceydanine]

Exercise is nature's blush.

[traceydanine]

My Mom died today 19 years ago. My father just died last month. I can't help but think of his misery of missing her every day for 19 years. I miss my parents. I miss being their child. #griefandloss #missingdad #missingmom

[traceydanine]

The Uterus and the Auto Industry

I do not know why I am still so angry at my treatment at the Honda Kings  Auto Mall in Mason, Ohio.  But I am. 

I can’t stand mansplaining.  I can’t stand posturing men who lean back in their chairs and talk down to me.  I can’t stand men who shove a piece of paper in my face and point emphatically at numbers on a page.  I can’t stand men who rub their splotchy beards and look with disdain on my body and interrupt me while I try to answer their questions. 

I don’t like women who do these things either but there is a higher percentage of men talking down to me than women in my life.  Men have done me wrong and I don’t like them very much.  You get bit by a dog you just don’t like them.  

I am 51 years old and I feel as if my uterus gets in the way of proper conversation and respect with this particular gender.  

There is an automatic placing of me in their little boxes:

She is fat but she’s funny.

She has an attitude problem if she would just get laid....

She is smart but she thinks she is smarter than me.

She is intense.

She walks too loudly.

She talks too loudly.

She has lost weight - I think I will listen to her a bit more.  But when she is thin all of her credibility goes out the window and I will objectify her

Here is a news flash: 

You can never win with those who cup their little balls ever so tightly.  

But they will not get my business, in fact, this is a shout out to all female mechanics and car salesmen.  We need for you to step forward and identify so that we can give you our business.  I can’t be the only one who struggles with the misogyny of the auto industry. 

Why can’t we set up a website of women entrepreneurs and call it The Uterus List?  

Fuck them. We do not have to take this anymore.

[traceydanine]

Bravo Nashville!! This is the change libraries need! I have been saying this for years. Expunge old fines and give people a new beginning. Everyone deserves a second chance. This would be an infusion of goodwill to our communities,  Quit fining people! If they don't return it, bill them. i heard their heir programming director speak at PLA last year and her passion and creativity still inspire me.

[traceydanine]

Everyone should have a Kim Wexler in their life, not just Jimmy. ##bettercallsaul #kimwexler #kimwexlerismyspiritanimal #rheaseeborn #bobodenkirk

[traceydanine]

My son thinks he is so cute. He is. #lovemyson (at Flipdaddy's Burgers & Beers - Symmes)

[traceydanine]

Me leaving a car dealership today.

[traceydanine]

Total amount to fix my car. Before cancer I would have freaked. Now, I problem solve. #perspective #3yearscancerfree