#i dont know why half of my lines are fuzzy and half of them are crispy. who knows | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

autisticandroids · 2 years ago

Note

ive had a tab open to send u this for like 3 days and i keep forgetting so its fine if u dont wanna do more directors commentaries (love when u do directors commentaries) but i would love to read more about so much smoke in a hall of mirrors <333

[the goal here is to provide a director’s commentary, a la the one i did for i fold in half so easily, though obviously less comprehensive. this commentary is for so much smoke in a hall of mirrors.]

lmao this is the one i've been waiting to be asked about. well, one of them.

“You know, he still isn't going to fuck you,” said Crowley, stooped over the lifeless body of a vampire and currently pulling out its fangs with forceps. The gray lighting of the lab turned the bloody work into a flat and distant thing, as empty as the flesh Crowley played with.

In lieu of replying, Castiel stared at him. He was too exhausted from the political situation in Heaven to try to parse Crowley’s meaning, and besides, Crowley could generally be counted upon to elaborate on his cryptic remarks if left to his own devices. This time proved no exception, but Castiel found Crowley’s elaboration no more enlightening: “Dean Winchester. He isn't going to fuck you just because you're God. Unless you make him, but you holy rollers are rather big on gaining consent before entry, far as I know.�� Crowley leered. “I somehow don't think you'd be satisfied with that, anyway. Aren’t you Mr. Free Will, these days? Leading the downtrodden celestials to liberty?”

love to set some shit up <3. lines of consent will be crossed in this story. and cas won't be satisfied by it.

“What are you suggesting, Crowley?” Castiel narrowed his eyes. Every moment of this distraction was another moment they weren’t finding Purgatory, another moment that the war raged on, but Castiel could not keep himself from Crowley’s bait. “Why would my goal be for Dean to fuck me?”

“Exclusive top, are you?” Crowley smirked, still not looking up.

“What?”

“Oh, nevermind.” Crowley went on with his work. Castiel walked over to him.

crowley voice have you forgotten that you're the bottom in this relationship. also, this

“Why are you insinuating that I want to have sex with Dean Winchester.” It was a question, but it somehow became a statement in Castiel’s mouth. He found himself trying to loom in Crowley’s direction, his wings tense and ready to show themselves. Crowley finally looked up.

“My God, you really don’t know, do you? I can’t believe I have to give The Talk to an angel, didn’t you watch Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden or something?”

“I am aware–” Castiel began, starting forward, but Crowley cut him off.

“Doesn’t it hurt you? To see him with that woman?”

The question hung in the air.

Crowley looked at him as time stretched on. Castiel tried to answer.

“Dean and Lisa are… happy together.” He knew that his reply was inadequate. He knew that was not what Crowley had asked. Crowley knew as well, judging by the smirk he was sporting.

“What is it, exactly, that you want from Dean? Have you ever asked yourself that?”

“I want Dean to be happy. I want him safe.” Castiel stared Crowley down.

“That’s not all you want, feathers,” Crowley leered.

“Then tell me, then, Crowley,” Castiel advanced on the demon, who momentarily looked less sure of himself. “ What is it that I want?”

“You?” Crowley, regaining his composure, looked Castiel up and down, “I’d wager you’d like Dean naked on silk sheets with… hmm… fuzzy pink handcuffs? The really vanilla kind that close with velcro. Maybe a ball gag.”

It was the disrespect that got to Castiel. Not the disrespect to himself, but the disrespect to Dean. The disrespect of Crowley painting such a vivid picture with his words. Castiel could see it in full color.

His blade was at Crowley’s throat before he could think about it. He had his vessel’s hand around Crowley’s tie, and he’d shoved him against the wall. Crowley looked gratifyingly afraid.

“Do not speak of him like that.” Castiel could feel his wings unfurling almost of their own accord, and he watched Crowley cringe.

“Calm down, angel,” Crowley gasped. “Good lord. I’ll make a mental note that you get hot and bothered when you’re hot and bothered.”

crowley is obviously right here. this is the first of many moments in this fic where cas reacts to the triggering of his own desires with violence. like, crowley talking about dean in a sexy way forces cas to confront his own desires. which cas reacts to with violence because he can't process it. it's a loss of control that cas can't accept or deal with. like, desire is terrifying to cas it's so big and powerful and he can't escape it. and at the same time cas does, in canon, have a history of... equivocating between sex and violence, let's say. i'm not the first person to point out the erotic charge in his shoving dean against the wall in 4x22, or in 5x18, for example. there's his interactions with meg in 5x10, which blur the lines between sex and violence very effectively, and of course there's the famous crowley wall shove in 6x20. obviously i've argued in the past that that this non-sexual physicalization of sexual desire as a kind of naivete re: sexuality and i still think that's true. like cas is naive and he's acting out sexuality without understanding exactly what he's acting out like this bird that can't figure out why is isn't eating the worm, or at least, he is in seasons four and five. here, in the period between seasons five and six, cas is in his own kind of transitional place. he still lacks a certain level of awareness but he knows a little more now. he knows enough to feel uncomfortable, ashamed, afraid. he hasn't named what it is he wants to himself yet, but he's getting there. but anyway, cas attacks crowley partly because his own desire terrifies him, and partly because being caught by someone else in the act of experiencing that desire terrifies him and makes him ashamed, but also partly just because he's acting out a sort of erotic physicality.

Castiel yanked on Crowley’s tie, and he gagged. He stared into Crowley’s terrified eyes as the demon struggled for breath, holding Crowley inside his vessel with a wing over his mouth.

Then Castiel let him go.

Crowley coughed. He looked up at Castiel, angry and wary.

“Let no one say I don’t keep my enemies closer.”

Castiel stared at Crowley for a long moment. Then he took flight, not caring where he would land.

so! i wrote this whole scene basically as it is with very few alterations in december 2020. i then did not touch it for months, because i really needed to kind of rework WHAT the fic was, y'know.

“Barachiel, Zephon, Nuriel, Cambiel, Arakiel, Kokabiel, Uziel, Netzach. All dead,” Rachel said. “We should never have attacked the Seventh Layer.”

i spent so much time looking at lists of angels online to get these names. and THEN making sure they weren't in supernatural. because this fic is canon compliant and all these angels are dead. nuriel is specifically a reference to @spriteofmushrooms' fic though.

“It was our best option,” Castiel said, looking away. “We need access to the Conduits.”

“I don’t see how the Conduits can help us without a source of power. We should focus on conquering Heavens.” Her vessel’s nostrils flared. She was learning to use it to emote, it seemed.

“We need to be able to travel the Firmament freely.” She was right, of course. The Conduits were nearly tactically useless. But she didn’t see the big picture, and how could she? She would never understand what he had to do. This war wasn’t going to be won on the battlefield.

i was really concerned with this section. i wasn't sure it appropriately conveyed exactly what's happening. essentially cas and his revolutionaries are fighting a literally unwinnable war. they're outgunned and outnumbered. so cas is essentially just trying to keep his little revolution going long enough that his plan with crowley works out, because once he's god he'll be able to win the war for them. which means that his strategic decisions now don't really matter. he will always be sending his soldiers to die in unwinnable battles, because he can't TELL them that because they will turn on him. like, as much as working with crowley and becoming god is really his best choice here, they're angels, and they haven't had free will for all that long. they're not gonna get past their prejudice against demons, they're not going to get past their discomfort with blasphemy, and they're not going to get that sometimes you have to make tradeoffs. so all he can do is lie and abandon them to die while he sits in fantasy los alamos trying to make the bomb.

“Perhaps if you’d been there–” She turned from him, unable to handle what she herself was implying.

He wished he could tell them all where he’d been, what he’d been doing. Instead, he gritted his teeth. Once Purgatory was open…

“Losing, are we, Cas?” Crowley managed smug even as he squinted against the light of the Grace Castiel was spilling from a cut on his vessel’s right arm. Shameful relief that the battle was over flooded him. Yes, I am, Castiel thought, that’s why I need you. Outwardly, he scowled.

Crowley took his lack of response in stride: “Well, lucky for you, you’ve got little old me in your pocket. Come see what Daddy’s brought for you to play with.” He made an expansive gesture to the three alphas: siren, arachne, and ghoul, bound in warded restraints to metal rings in the wall of his lab.

we as a society need to acknowledge crowstiel daddy kink and how it could kinda bang. but like more seriously i do think of crowley as thinking of himself in season six as kind of taking cas under his wing, mentoring him, and specifically mentoring him in sin and moral ambiguity. and, crowley being crowley, he sexualizes everything. he's like dean, it's a defense for him, a way of eschewing vulnerability. hence, this absolutely rancid dialogue moment.

“Good.” Castiel nearly spat the word. He hated to praise a demon, but Crowley had done well. Surely one of these creatures could lead them on the road to Purgatory.

like his brethren, cas really hasn't gotten over his ingrained prejudice against demons, although he recognizes he needs crowley anyway. a lot of this fic is really about like. cas getting over himself. it's about him working through his sense of propriety. which is maybe good and maybe bad, but it's what he has to do in the situation that he's in.

He investigated each using tendrils of God’s Grace. The siren was in the worst condition, a line of ichor oozing from its mouth. Still, it was the only one to attempt to speak to him.

it can smell your weakness boy.

“Castiel,” it hissed, and coughed. A siren’s glamor was meant to show a human their ideal lover, but through the eyes of an angel it was only a soft, appealing glow about the naked, withered creature’s body. Their passive telepathy, however, apparently still worked fine.

Castiel cut the bindings on the arachne. He had work to do.

Rachel had said to him, “ Raphael’s forces are overwhelming. Dozens of angels have died, Castiel. And you… we don’t even know where you go. How can an army succeed if its commander is an absentee?”

And he’d said. He hadn’t said anything. He had nodded. But Rachel had been summoned by one of her lieutenants. And Castiel had found himself in Lisa Braeden’s kitchen, watching Dean stir powdered pudding into a pot of hot milk.

cas is also in this fic like. crucially his situation is simply very painful and stressful. so he's avoiding it. as is his wont. he's procrastinating. he doesn't i've said this before but the biggest thing dean is for cas in season six is a distraction. like, specifically an illicit one. he's neglecting his duties, and worse he's doing it for illicit reasons, and this is very shameful for him but it's also like. the only bright spot in his day. like, season six deancas thesis for cas is 6x10 "much of the time, i'd rather be here." he doesn't want to go watch his soldiers die. so he takes a little break. also originally the pudding was going to be custard because my family go wild for some bird's custard but americans don't eat that.

The woman and child were in the other room with the television, but the house was large enough that they could not be heard, even as Castiel sensed their presence. So Castiel watched Dean in his solitude, as he twirled the whisk in his skilled fingers, and reminded himself that this was what he was fighting for.

“I’ve brought you a gift.” Crowley grinned.

“A gift?” Castiel was perplexed.

“Took rather a bit of work, if I do say so myself. I was planning to save it until we actually succeeded, but then I thought, well, wouldn’t that be a bit pointless? Once you’re God , you’ll have whatever you please.” Castiel did not flinch. The obscenity that he and Crowley had planned was nothing short of a necessity. Crowley was still smiling. “And you look like you need a bit of cheering up. Politics doesn’t suit you.”

making it clear here: cas doesn't want to become god. it's blasphemous and it makes him uncomfortable. but something must be done.

“I see.” Castiel waited for Crowley to finish monologuing.

“Well, don’t you want to see it?” Crowley asked, giving Castiel a theatrical pout.

Castiel disliked being forced to agree to something, even if they weren’t exactly sealing a deal, but he was curious.

“Alright.”

Crowley snapped his fingers, and before Castiel stood– stood–

His own senses and the senses of his vessel told him different stories as to what stood before him.

He couldn’t… see it. There was nothing there. A whiff of something constructed and artificial, but it was… absent. Mindless. Soulless.

But it was there. It stood before him, and cast a shadow on the floor. A masterwork of molecules, a symphony of chemical and structural engineering, a tapestry of bone and sinew and nerves and blood and beating heart.

And his vessel’s senses told him…

A male human, nude and perfect. Full lips wet, glistening eyes wide, broad shoulders well-proportioned, sculpted muscles shining, soft skin tanned, flaccid penis large and shapely, strong buttocks beautifully rounded, long legs slender and graceful. It was–

Dean.

Castiel looked over at Crowley, and as soon as he did, cursed himself. He was sure his inner state showed on his face.

“Well, do you like it?” Crowley grinned at him. “The body wasn’t much of a hardship. The construction of flesh is well within my demonic purview. But giving it enough of a mind for any purpose you might want, that’s a little trick I learned from my dearest mother. A touch of magic comes in handy when attempting to construct a homunculus consciousness.” Castiel could only stare.

really important that i have crowley mention rowena as much as possible. someday i will write a fic where i explore his mommy issues.

Crowley snapped his fingers, and the thing – the Dean – blinked. Focused on Castiel. Its lips parted in a small oh.

“How may I please you?” the voice was… The voice was just right, as well, and how could it be otherwise, coming from that throat? How could it be anything but perfect?

“You–” Castiel forced himself to look away, and stared at Crowley instead. He found himself without human language. His Grace (God’s Grace) sang, and he was suddenly, disgustingly grateful that none of his brothers knew where he was. He didn’t know what it was he was feeling in that moment, but he felt a pang of terror that whatever it was might show in the wavelengths of his wings or the rotation of his polytopes.

i thought a lot about angel trueforms and how to do them in this fic. i essentially settled on like. not describing except for like. some random details that clearly don't gel, in order to convey alienness. i also leaned on some like. themes. cas is more geometric than most angels. he has polytopes and 5-manifolds. overall it's important to me that angels are creatures that like. exist as almost mathematical constructs? they interact very directly with the laws of physics.

“You’re right, by the way. He’s absolutely exquisite.” Crowley added, and Castiel snapped back to himself.

Crowley had made this thing. Crowley had made this thing, all the while salivating over Dean’s– over some imitation of Dean’s body. Appreciating it for sexual pleasure. Possibly even making use of it in some manner. Castiel felt the throat of his vessel constrict somehow.

“How dare you. How dare you– you– you–” Castiel lost his words again, but he knew that he felt rage. He didn’t need language. He brought up his hand and snapped the fingers, sending a pulse of Grace into that beautiful, empty body.

again we have cas enacting violence when confronted with his own desires but this time, it's much more obviously erotic. cas is sending his grace into dean's empty body, resulting in a wet explosion. this was absolutely an erotic act or rather a re-channelling of erotic desire.

The sound of the explosion was… wet.

Crowley blinked at him, soaked from head to toe in gore, just like the rest of the lab, and Castiel’s own vessel. Castiel cleaned himself of the remains of the thing he had disintegrated and flew away, leaving Crowley to clean things up.

“Rahab, Bariel, Lahabiel, Nelchael, Soqedhozi, Armisael, Zachriel, Oriel,” Rachel said.

Lisa Braeden’s sofa was wide, and Castiel was grateful for that. It meant that while she and Dean sat, his arm slung over her shoulders, Castiel could perch on the arm without fear of accidental contact that might weaken the glamor that hid his vessel.

The child was in bed. The television discussed some sort of upcoming human societal upheaval Castiel believed was called an election. Red bars with different statistics filled the screen.

haha i love to make jokes

“Why are we watching this, baby?” Dean murmured. “You know I don’t care about politics.” Castiel saw him running a hand up her thigh. She wore a skirt, pale gray and pleated. Dean’s hand dipped under the hem of it, and she giggled.

or not. obviously this is like. dean is saying this because like. he also wouldn't care about cas' angel war. which is why cas isn't involving him. cas is like. so alone he really can't trust or be honest with anyone but crowley and he hates crowley. and this line exists to make him feel even lonelier because it reinforces that dean wouldn't care.

“Turn it off, then, if you want.” Castiel could see her wriggling, repositioning her hips. Dean leant forward to kiss her. With the hand that had been on her thigh, Dean blindly poked at the coffee table until his hand found a black bar covered in colorful buttons. He pressed one with his thumb, and Castiel felt a signal zip through the air, jolting his celestial form where it brushed against the edges of this plane. His vessel stiffened. The screen went black.

this is one of the reasons it's important that angels are like. mathematical constructs of physical laws. like to be clear cas parsed that - dean accidentally sending a sensory stimulus to his trueform because cas is made of light and physics and so are the infrared signals that come out of a tv remove - as a kind of erotic touch. dean has accidentally touched cas in a way he should not, as a human, be able to. it's intimate and jarring and arousing.

The two humans turned inward, making their lovers’ motions, locked at the lips. Castiel found himself mostly watching Dean's back. Dean returned his hand to Lisa’s skirt, pressing under it and tugging. Lisa writhed as though she were attempting to escape from some bond.

A moment later all was clarified as a pair of dark cotton briefs slid down her legs, and Dean assisted her in kicking them off. Castiel was curious. He had rarely had the opportunity to stay and watch so long, and this was a new activity.

to be clear: this is sexual violence, on cas' part. against both dean and lisa. he's watching them have sex without their knowledge, on purpose. he's not that naive. but he's miserable, and he Wants, so he takes.

Dean began making a new motion, a pumping and rolling of his elbow and, from what Castiel could tell, unable to see under Lisa's skirt, of his wrist. Lisa stiffened, her eyes closing and mouth opening. She gasped as though in pain. Or– oh .

Dean was using his hand to simulate the act of breeding. He was putting long, slender yet work-roughened fingers – two? three? – into her vagina and stroking her from the inside, putting the deftness of hands used to field stripping rifles to a new purpose. Surely Dean’s callouses deepened the sensation, and Castiel could understand easily why Lisa might desire this particular act.

cas fantasizing about having dean's fingers in his celestial pussy <3

She spoke, but Castiel did not hear it, too focused on the flex of Dean’s bicep, on Dean's other hand cupping Lisa's face (it must feel so warm), on the curve of Dean’s back as he followed through on the motion of his arm over and over.

But suddenly Dean was drawing back, tugging at his shirt, revealing acres of golden, sweat-shiny flesh. There was the sound of a zipper, and Castiel could not see, but he understood what it must mean.

Castiel watched as Lisa spat in her hand, reaching between Dean's legs. He could hear Dean's heart rate increase, the slick sounds as Lisa pleasured him. Dean's hips shifted, and his jeans fell slightly, revealing just the tops of sculpted buttocks.

Then: a crinkling. Dean was reaching into his pocket, arm at an odd angle. The maneuver shoved his jeans down further, revealing more perfect flesh.

It wasn't until Dean retrieved the square packet that Castiel understood. Of course. A rubber sheath. That favored human method of thwarting God’s will. Castiel wondered why it was necessary: what human female would not wish to be sown with Dean's seed? Was he not the ideal mate, strong and beautiful in body, quick and cutting in mind, generous and loving in spirit, a God among men? Castiel felt the lips of his vessel part slightly.

Perhaps Dean had denied her. That must be it.

so i had already written this part when @pregstiel published in the darkness (of this gas'n'sip) which has a really similar moment and i immediately messaged her like oh my god mind. anyway castiel mpreg moments.

The pair shifted, reorganizing themselves until Lisa’s legs were thrown about Dean’s waist as he held himself over her, one hand on the back of the couch for support and the other clutching Lisa to him as he thrusted.

And Dean was thrusting now, the muscles of his back rippling under his skin, his jeans resting halfway down his thighs, exposing his ass and the top of his thighs, also tensing and flexing with the strain. Soft, wet slaps came from between the two bodies. Lisa’s hand snaked under Dean’s armpit and squeezed his jutting shoulder blade.

Lisa wrenched herself up, pressing her body closer to Dean’s, and now Castiel could just see her face over Dean’s shoulder. He watched as her mouth stretched into a cry, and then another. With each sound, Dean seemed to move faster, as though egged on. These vocalizations held some power over him.

Castiel found himself imitating the rounding of Lisa’s lips.

He sent a tendril of Grace down her throat, examining her mouth, her larynx, her lungs with his celestial senses. The way her vocal folds vibrated during each moan, the pressure of her breath, the shape her tongue took. He contorted his vessel’s own vocal folds, attempting to use his Grace to reshape them to the right tension to achieve a similar frequency, and, just experimentally, raised his voice alongside hers.

this is my favorite he like touches and fondles her body with a kind of erotic fascination without her knowledge. again like this scene is sexual violence. not because he wants her but because he is jealously obsessed with her. also this paragraph lead to like a multi-hour argument/hash out with @restlesshush who is a linguistics major because i wasn't doing the anatomy right at first which i fixed but THEN i wrote some stuff that was like correct but insufficiently clear? like using both vocal folds and vocal cords even though they're the same thing out of synonym avoidance. anyway to be clear here cas is quite literally (temporarily) changing the physical nature of his vessel to be more like lisa. he is single white femaling that woman rn.

She could not hear him, of course. Nor could Dean. But still their cries were in chorus as Dean fucked her.

“You know, it’s an absolute joy to watch you work,” Crowley said. His hot breath ghosted over Castiel’s vessel’s ear. “All in control like that. You’re nearly… Godlike. ”

crowley doing his best to get cas to get over himself. like part of the reason crowley is doing this is because he recognizes, reasonably, that cas' hangups (various) will be a problem. and part of the reason is that torturing cas is fun. and part of the reason is that is makes him feel, like i said, like a mentor and corrupter. and he likes that. it makes him feel more powerful. and he needs that because he's working alongside a volatile creature who could crush him like a bug lol.

Castiel paid it no mind. It did not matter. All that mattered was information. All that mattered was a gate to Purgatory. All that mattered was an end to the war, once and for all.

If only Rachel could see him now.

“Answer the question,” he told the siren as it trembled.

“I told you, I don’t know.” Its dry voice was interrupted by a string of wet, hacking coughs. “I’d never even heard of Purgatory before you started,” it stopped to hack again, “asking about it.”

Castiel thrust his vessel’s hand into the glistening wound in the siren’s belly, sinking in up to the wrist. This was something he could do. Something he could affect. Sirens had little in terms of internal structure, but they did experience sensation, and Castiel took full advantage. He spread his fingers in the stringy moistness as the siren screamed. Wetness dripped out around him, soaking the sleeve of his coat. He shoved his hand in further, nearly to the elbow, twisting his wrist, and gray ichor began to pour from the siren’s nose and mouth. It shuddered, convulsing around him.

FIST! THAT! WOUNDPUSSY! and thrust inside a moist body and cause it to shudder around you.

Warm fluid splashed across his face, dripping from his eyelashes and running down his cheekbones. The siren’s venom. It had spurted from the glands in the thing’s mouth. An instinctual response to save itself. Castiel spat, not wanting to risk falling prey to some effect, even knowing that as an angel the siren should hold no power over him.

cumshot. you guys know the drill. anyway cas voice i'm a good little angel boy i will not experience The Effect. no desire here! the siren cannot control me! i'm not anxious about that at all!

The siren jerked. It wasn’t a death throe, sirens had rather specific death requirements. But Castiel presumed that the creature wished it was one. He twisted his wrist again.

fist him!!!!

He felt Crowley give a pleased exhale, and withdrew his arm from the siren’s body. It barely twitched, hanging limp from its bonds.

Castiel reached out with his Grace. He needed to heal the siren’s injuries. It was too defeated now, in too much pain to care if more occurred.

But.

A mistake.

He glanced at the creature not with his celestial perception, but through his vessel’s vision.

Liquid green eyes stared back at him, set just above cut cheekbones. Plush lips spattered with blood formed the word please.

A gentle caress of Grace became a burning, cleansing flood, and he and Crowley were left staring at the ash where the siren had stood.

his grace is literally IN the siren and then he sees the sexy deansiren face and experiences an uncontrollable surge of energy. like if there is one thing that is absolutely going on in this fic it's that cas' grace is a sexual organ. that's very clear earlier with the dean doll, and it's clear with the tv remote, and it's clear when he puts his grace in lisa to explore her body. but it's also an instrument of violence because cas like still hasn't really differentiated the two, though he's working on it. he comes in the siren and it dies. at the same time, he's still also motivated by the terror of his own desire. and he's also motivated by the affection he has for dean. the siren was begging for death and it was using dean's face. that's going to get under cas' skin.

Crowley rounded on him.

“What the Hell did you do that for?”

“It had nothing left to tell us,” Castiel said, voice bland. “We’ll have to find another alpha.”

Crowley scowled.

Castiel spun, neatly dodging an attack against his easternmost obelisk and deflecting with his left 5-manifold. His attacker whipped another thickly scaled, ultraviolet lizard tail at him, but he ducked into a local pocket universe, then took advantage of the opening left by the strike.

again like it's important to me that angels are constructs of the laws of physics. they can do things like duck into pocket universes.

All of Hadraniel’s eyes focused on Castiel for a moment, and then on the blade piercing Hadraniel’s own molten core. Castiel wished he could make that final moment of life last for centuries. Millennia. He wished he could make his apologies, that he could just explain to Hadraniel why. Why it had to be this way. Tell her that life would be better, for all angels, once this civil war was over. Tell her that there would be freedom. But most of all, Castiel wished that Hadraniel had never been here at all. That this death hadn’t happened. That none of the deaths on this battlefield had happened. That there was no need to fight. If he could make them understand–

Then a wave of God’s Grace washed over him, and Hadraniel was no more.

i was kind of torn here because originally all these angels used he/him pronouns because i liked the idea that all angels use he/him pronouns. or more accurately they use a neutral pronoun that is translated to he/him because they are genderless. but i was worried that that might get confusing with rachel so i pussied out. embarrassing.

Castiel turned back to the fray, and saw Phounebiel rushing him. He met Phounebiel blade to blade, the impact sending ripple through the eleventh plane, where their swords met. But Castiel was a Seraph now, and Phounebiel still only a Malakh, as Castiel had once been. It was easy to overpower him, and Castiel forced their intersecting blades forward until Phounebiel died by his own sword.

Phounebiel had taken time to consider Castiel’s pitch, when Castiel came asking for him to join the ranks of Castiel’s rebels. He had almost agreed. But he had hesitated. He had told Castiel that the battle was unwinnable. That Raphael’s forces were too powerful.

my KINGDOM for a version of season six where there's some episodes where cas runs around convincing various of his brethren to join him like the election plot in netflix lucifer.

Now Castiel watched as his brother’s blossoms wilted, and his engines ceased to whirr.

As he focused on Phounebiel, waiting for the flare of Grace, he felt an emanation.

Castiel.

It came from Damabiath, and as Castiel reoriented himself on the eighth plane, he saw Karael’s blade fall, surely a fatal strike. He could not block or dodge, Karael was too powerful, too close, Castiel posed too awkwardly.

Castiel readied himself.

On some treacherous level, a part of him held the thought that death might be a relief. His memory could stand as a martyr, and he would no longer have to lead his brothers to freedom. No longer have to profane himself with demons and deity. No longer have to fight losing battle after losing battle while Heaven tore itself apart. No longer have to watch his brothers die. No longer have to kill them.

It seemed… peaceful.

and like that's crucial here, right? cas is at rock bottom. he really has nothing else to lose, emotionally. this is the catalyst to him like. giving up on his hangups in the next scene. he's too suicidal to care about propriety anymore

And then Damabiath was there between him and Karael, and the fatal strike came down, but it did not pierce Castiel. Damabiath’s Grace flooded over and through both of them, Castiel and Karael, and both were frozen.

But Castiel was quicker to recover from the shock, and dispatched Karael in short order, piercing straight through his transverse wing and into his center.

The battle raged on.

Crowley’s lab was empty when Castiel stormed in, slamming the doors open with a gust of wind powerful enough to knock implements off tables. Good.

like cas' primary motivation here isn't lust it's like. rage. he's lashing out. he's so angry and frustrated and miserable that he's essentially being like okay. that thing i wasn't supposed to do? i'm gonna do it. to SPITE you. although he isn't like actually spiting anyone except his own superego, you know? like his own desire is kind of secondary.

The floor was smeared with brown and dark red. Crowley rarely bothered to clean up spilled blood and viscera, reasoning that there would always be more, and besides: it would make for a more unsettling atmosphere for any prisoners. Castiel was glad of this habit now, as he flooded the room with his Grace, searching out the leftover molecules of one body in particular.

He found it. Part of it. Enough.

He knitted it together with the power of Creation. It was not difficult.

He had already remade this body once.

Some Heavens were neutral ground, hastily agreed upon during wartime because angels needed to be able to pass through them, regardless of their affiliation. These Heavens were not suitable for Castiel’s purpose. There were too few of them, and too many angels likely to pass through. The hard-won Heavens of his own side were likewise too populous, and discovery there would be far worse. Only one option left.

Castiel took himself to the center of Raphael’s territory. He was a single angel, he shouldn’t be perceived if he was careful enough. And Raphael’s domain was vast. Castiel’s army had managed to carve out a few thousand Heavens, a mouse’s bite of the celestial infinity. Raphael had the rest.

this is also cas being intentionally self-destructive. he's taking risks because he has given up caring and is just acting out against every rule of good sense he can think of, at least partly because he wants to die.

The denizen of this Heaven was alone. His wife had met her soulmate six years after he died, and was spending most of her eternity on a beach in Malibu with him. Only one memory of this man had made it into her rotation, an evening drinking cocoa during a small blizzard in Maine. But this man’s core memory was baking cookies with her in the middle of the night, while they laughed and the television blared in the background, comforting and incomprehensible.

Castiel had chosen this Heaven primarily because it was stable. Most humans cycled through their memories frenetically, but this man fixated. A twenty minute loop of the same night in 1974. Better yet, the memory took place in the kitchen, but the noise of the television was a crucial element, so it contained a totally empty living room.

and you chose it because you're a sad lonely jealous boy. clown.

Castiel wished the man had thought to buy a slightly longer couch. No matter. It would do.

Heaven rejected the bodything. It was flesh. Not vessel. Not souled being. Just molecules and electrical signals and a little bit of earthly mysticism to imitate the forms of life. Reality rippled, and for a moment Castiel feared there would be some convulsion. A tear. An expulsion. Heaven would rend asunder and all of Raphael’s followers would converge on the disturbance, and he would die humiliated.

Instead, Castiel felt a pulsing tug on his Grace.

Of course.

His essence threaded through the copy now, just as it did the original. Enough of it that the empty thing was not quite empty. Indeed, it felt far more like it should, because now it carried the marks of Castiel’s remaking. Of his Creation.

again. cas' grace as sexual organ. not just because it's in dean but because he creates with it. it's reproductive.

Well, not all the marks. Castiel stepped closer.

“How may I please you?” said the thing. It did not flinch back. Did not cover its nakedness as the real one would.

Castiel felt God’s Grace (his self) (His self) flow through his vessel and encouraged it to congregate and coagulate, let it pool, let it gather in the palm of his vessel’s right hand until the flesh began to glow, not with Grace, but with plain, molten heat.

....and that sexual organ comes from god. put a pin in this.

The body did not move as Castiel brought that hand close. But when he pressed flesh to flesh, there was a piercing, satisfying scream.

in his anger and frustration he is enjoying torturing this deanbody. it's a punching bag for him to lash out against in his misery, and it's also a symbol of the desire he is so afraid of and he is so disgusted with himself for harboring. enacting violence against it punishes himself for engaging in this disgusting act, and it also protects him from the terror of desire.

In the aftermath, the thing shied away from him for a moment, but it lacked the mind to remain afraid for long. Instead, it traced a finger over the puffy, raised pink brand on the flesh of its shoulder. Castiel’s final mark. His signature. His seal.

Castiel moved– was– forward. His vessel did not move, rather, Heaven shrank around him, until he and the body were chest to chest. Not yet touching, but so achingly close.

Castiel inflated his vessel's lungs.

It only took a slight push for the thing to collapse backward onto the sofa. It was soft and pliant, built to be shaped to his will.

He found himself wishing for a little resistance. Perhaps a sarcastic jab. Some kind of mockery. Something of the human this homunculus imitated. But the mindless thing only watched him with parted lips, ready to receive revelation however he wished to give it.

i don't know if people caught this but what cas is wishing here is for the dean doll to object, to not consent. and like part of that is motivated by cas' issues. he thinks that what he wants from dean is just too disgusting, too awful, and that dean could never desire him or care about him that way because poor castiel so alone in the world no one care him no one understand him. like it is absolutely a reflection of his loneliness and self-disgust. but he is also absolutely wishing that this felt more like a rape. and it's not really hurting anyone, the doll is just a doll, but it's indicative of something very unpleasant about his state of mind, and like. where he's at. one of the main theses of this fic is very much like... repression and self-hatred can lead a person to do awful things.

The nose of Castiel’s vessel wrinkled.

The doll’s legs bent easily as Castiel pressed it into the couch, folding it just so. He knew he needed access to its genitalia for this. It was supple and flexible, he could press its legs up and to the sides such that its body was nearly folded in half and its thighs formed an inviting gateway.

Castiel’s vessel was also a male, but no matter. He knew humans had an auxiliary entrance, shared between the sexes. He would use that.

yes babygirl dehumanize it as much as possible. be so disgusted by your own desires that engaging in them feels like doing violence to your partner, so much so that you have to dehumanize them.

The body’s penis was soft. That wasn’t usually the way of things, but Castiel was not sure it mattered. He had no plans to make use of it.

Castiel glared down at the doll. It was so much flesh, laid out before him, open and wanting. He ran the tips of his vessel’s fingers down its chest, and it shivered a little. Its lips parted, and Castiel…

In order to– to mount the thing, he would need to be on top of it. He positioned himself with one hand above its left shoulder, and his knees between its thighs.

He knew he needed to free his vessel’s penis. On Earth, he would have to deal with the complex fastenings of his human garments, but here they were only a half-formed image, a thought shared between Heaven and Castiel. They were gone.

For a moment, all he could think of was this scene through other eyes. The hero Castiel debasing himself in animal filth. Not even fornicating with a human, but something far lesser, and far more damning: he was proving that even in their absence he was prey to their carnal impulses. That he wanted what no angel should want. He could see it now: not just Raphael’s army, but his own, converging on this place to tear him to shreds. All his brethren, finally united, in the quest to destroy him. And if they knew what he had been doing with Crowley, what he and the demon were planning…

Castiel folded in on himself, a half-fear, half-guilt cringe spanning dozens of dimensions. His brothers’ disgust would be well-deserved, for far greater reasons than those. He could still feel himself dirtied with the Grace of the angels he’d slaughtered since he’d started this war. Or even beyond that: since Dean had spun his vessel in Zachariah’s waiting room, and his whole world was torn asunder. Hadraniel, Phounebiel, Karael, Peniel, Sabrael, Rikbiel… he was forgetting some of their names. Just the ones he had struck down with his own blade. But it went beyond them. His own men: Nelchael, Sophia, Armisael, Zachriel, Oriel, Kokabiel, Uziel, Netzach, Bariel, Lahabiel, Nuriel, Cambiel, Soqedhozi, Theliel, Verchiel, and dozens of others. All dead. He did not know the extent of the casualties on Raphael’s side, but he had seen the decimated ranks. He had seen Anapiel giving orders to the nineteenth flight, a sure sign that Elyon was dead. Even whole garrisons: he had not seen Charm mobilized for nearly three months, and flights he knew had been Charm’s were now serving in Strange, Up, or Beauty. And of course, he had seen Raphael’s soldiers slain at the hands of his own forces, brother against brother: Machidiel, Galizur, Kutiel, Zadkeil, Cahethal. More. More and more, until the planes of Heaven echoed empty. All pointless, because angel against angel was not the grounds on which Heaven would be won. All of it on Castiel because he alone understood what needed to be done, compromises that had to be made, the blasphemy that he had to become. All leading Heaven to ruin because he could not find Purgatory, take control, and end this war.

this is really the point of this fic. this paragraph. also as soon as i wrote this fic i sent it to @fluorescentbrains (physics grad student) to be like you see this??? you see my physics reference??? specifically in this paragraph. (to be clear: charm, strange, up, and beauty are all names of quarks. the implication here is that there are garrisons named after all the quarks, cas just hasn't mentioned them all. beauty is a little outdated as a quark name, truth and beauty are now called top and bottom, but i like the old ones better. so).

Castiel found himself sinking desperately into the warmth of the body beneath him, pressing himself against it, skin to skin. His vessel shook, and he felt himself fall, the heat and movement of not quite human flesh supporting the crushing weight of his entire self .

and now that cas has had his breakdown and anger has given way to misery, now it cas be about comfort, rather than violence.

He brushed lips to open lips. Not because he had planned it, but because it was his vessel’s instinct, and his angelic nature was occupied with collapsing in on itself.

Famine had touched him once, and the ecstasy of tearing into raw cow-flesh, laid out on the floor in worship of it, was all he could think of as he licked into the mouth before him. He took and consumed, desperate to suck passion from the mindless thing’s lips.

His cock had swelled while he was distracted, and he needed this doll now. He rubbed against its sweat slick skin, and it curled up into him as though desperate for his touch.

He pushed it down.

The simulated breeding. He needed to put his fingers in it. He needed to sit before it and flick his wrist and– He momentarily considered giving it a skirt, before deciding that was unnecessary to the measure. He shifted backward, and found himself having to perch on the arm of the couch.

Frustration flared.

Castiel reached a tendril of Grace into the mind of the man of this Heaven, and told him a little white lie. Just that the olive green couch he’d bought secondhand with his wife in 1968 had been two feet longer.

this is maybe the worst thing cas does in this whole fic. he permanently alters the memories of a dead man who must live the rest of his existence trapped in this one memory. like it's all he has. and cas perverts it, selfishly.

Castiel settled into his spot.

The emptything's penis was growing erect now, and he took it in hand to keep it out of his way. Fluid beaded at the tip. Castiel felt the muscles of his abdomen flex as he licked his lips.

Castiel knew copulation between human males should require lubrication of some kind, and he ordered reality to become slick and wet around his hand. He pressed a finger to the doll’s entrance. Muscles opened easily for him, flesh stretching like putty in a way that would indicate possible medical issues in a real human, but Castiel supposed it was sometimes reasonable to prioritize function over realism. He pushed two fingers into it, curling and stroking them against velvety inner walls. He felt more than heard the doll sigh, a low, shuddery sound.

Its legs jerked, and it curled up towards him again, but this time he nearly doubled over with the new need in his belly.

He reoriented himself, above the thing once again, and brushed the head of his dick to its hole. The softness called him. He would not put a barrier of rubber between them. The muscles of its thighs rippled as they came up to cage his own.

come fetish mpreg boy strikes again <3

He let his vessel guide him, let instinct tell him to press in and sheathe himself in the body he craved.

The world tilted on its axis, rearranged itself. Castiel until this moment has no idea that human nerve signals could be this intoxicating. Millennia of miracles superseded by his stolen cock embedded in hot, slick flesh.

He found himself grasping at whatever he could reach, his not-of-this-vessel strength leaving instant purple bruises on the body beneath him until his right hand found the puffy pink scar on its shoulder.

He fucked it without ceremony, hard and selfishly. And despite that he could hear its moans filling the space around them, feel its dick hard between them rubbing slickly against his sweat-soaked stomach. Skin slid against skin over the whole length of their joined forms, every place they touched.

he wants that doll to hate him like (he feels) everyone else does/should sooooo bad. and it won't. it refuses to hate him because it's a thing and this drives him crazy

His need was too great, and his world narrowed. His vessel persisted, but his self, his Grace, God’s Grace pooled, gathering in his penis and the palm of his right hand. Just enough left in his vessel to animate the relevant muscles and keep him thrusting, and he felt his head loll, useless and lifeless. The muscles of his legs, arms, hips snapped graceless and Graceless and awkward with the sole goal of keeping him enrobed in pleasure.

pretty sure enrobed is a word they only use in chocolate bar marketing.

“Dean.” Hearing himself say it, his own voice wrecked and desperate, he shuddered. He pressed close. “Dean.”

Cas.

He could almost hear it, in among the wordless moans.

Cas, Dean cried, hungry for him. Desperate for him. Cas, I want you. Cas, I’ve missed you so much. I’ve always wanted you. Cas, Cas, Cas, God, Cas, Cas. Cas, please.

this is like. to me. the saddest moment in this fic. cas finally lets himself imagine what he wants to here. while he's fucking a sex doll that can never give it to him.

Cas leaned down and cut off Dean’s cries with a kiss, slowing his thrusts so they could savor this moment, this ultimate joining and togetherness. He took a moment to savor the softness of Dean’s body, welcoming him in every cell. Made for him. Suffused with his Grace.

Cas slid his left hand up Dean’s chest, pinching a nipple on the way, and finally cupping the back of his neck, cradling Dean’s head in his fingers. He kissed him again, rubbed their noses together, brushed his lips to each of his cheeks. He clutched Dean to him, and Dean clutched him back, wrapping his legs tight around Cas’ waist, urging him onward with purpose.

Cas took with abandon. He took from Dean. Took with Dean. He felt Dean shake beneath him, body rippling with the power of his orgasm. Dean’s body worshiped him, craved him, loved him, tightened around him.

God, Cas.

there we are. here's cas fantasizing about being god. just a little. because then he can have whatever he wants. i've talked all the time about meet the new boss as a deeply erotic experience for cas. he's gotten past his hangups about sex with dean, or at least, fantasizing about sex with dean. he's now losing his hangups about the blasphemy of being god. and the thing about being god is, he can have whatever he wants. and like, becoming god is very much at least partly erotic for reasons of wanting to be dean's god as well, obviously.

Cas felt himself teeter, tip, and finally fall.

Whiteout. Castiel melting down. Pleasure. Reality wavering. Castiel destroyed. Heaven flickering. The world turning. Castiel reforged.

Remade in God’s image.

he's lost his previous identity. like that's what i was saying earlier about cas being suicidal and at rock bottom. destroying his hangups and repression feels like destroying himself, it's a kind of ego death. which he has just experienced at the moment of orgasm here.

Cas collapsed upon the broad chest beneath him. He closed his eyes, nestling into hard pectorals, caring nothing for the quickly-growing-tacky sweat soaking everything or sticky stripes of semen painted under him.

He felt a hand card gently through his hair and sighed. He could stay here forever. Would stay here forever if it weren’t for the fact that that outburst of energy must have been felt by every angel in the Firmament. Surely they were all converging on his location, on this little Heaven he had found, his own slice of paradise. But the hand stroked his face, cupped his cheek, and he could not bear the thought of leaving this moment.

“Dea–”

but he can't quite stand the vulnerability, still. he catches himself imagining it was dean and he can't let himself do that.

Castiel snapped to attention. He stared down at the bodything, the emptything, the not-dean-thing that he had made use of. It blinked back up at him, guileless. Seemingly unaware of its debauched state, the fluids covering its belly and the bruises dotting its chest.

“How may I please you?”

God’s Grace boiled over inside Castiel, hot and cleansing. He felt its flow, flowed with it, became it, until the body beneath him was filled.

Castiel did not flinch when it exploded.

For a moment, he stood, envesseled, soaked in blood and entrails and his own semen that he’d injected into the shameful doll.

the anger returns. the shame returns. also, the equivocation between the explosion and ejaculation finally becomes totally explicit.

Then he shook himself. Ordered the truth to make his vessel clean, and clothed, and presentable to another angel’s eyes. Soon his brethren would find this place. It was best he not be present when they did.

Besides, he had a war to lose. He had a God to become.

so this little rock bottom experience has given cas a lot of things. he's refreshed and he has taken a moment of pleasure for himself, but also he's just like... gotten over himself. he's gotten past some hangups. including the one about blasphemy. he is newly re-committed. honestly when i wrote this fic i thought the sex scene at the end was the weakest link because it's like way less erotic than like, the siren gore, or the lisa and dean scene. but like. i've really come around on it.

#spn #asks #glitter-dyke-rights #rape tw #gore cw

24 notes · View notes

iwaisuke · 4 years ago

Text

confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

#haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #yinny!drabbles #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa fluff #kita shinsuke #kita x reader #kita fluff

207 notes · View notes

ramblesofajester · 4 years ago

Text

whispers of a witch (chap1/?

this is just a self indulgent fic for me to write when I feel like shit and yes it will have nsfw

info: they/them, curvy body, glasses, anxiety.

The cool wind sweep past your cheek as you squat down, fingers numbing and turning blue from the constant foraging across the forest floor to fine the herbs you require, its late winter and you have just run out of several herbs you use quite frequently for personal use and when healing the villagers. of course as always there is a catch when you need to get something done. one, you where delivering a baby a good portion of the day, then doing your normal round with the villagers, so soon night is to fall, two the Lycians have been testing there luck with the village borders as of resent, three the only place those herbs are left growing are near Heisenberg's land due to you harvesting all the more accessible ones previously. and just to top it all of duke wouldn't be able to gather a shipment until the next new moon, that being two weeks away so here you are right before dusk cut plants with frozen fingers outside of a missive chain-link fence in the middle of the woods. Gazing around, you are in a small clearing, the village is about a mile, mile and a half to the south west of here. the factory's smoke stacks just visible over the tree line. Sighing you focus on the task at hand, slowly griping the base of the plant you say thanks to the earth and pull it up root and all, listening to the birds as there song slowly drifted thru the trees. standing up you, make your way over to the next bushel of plants emerging from the thin coat of snow. suddenly all the brides stop singing setting off of several alarms in your brain knowing its wasn't you who disturbed them wiping around, franticly looking you hear and see movement all around you just out of sight in the brush you cant tell what it is. assuming it to be Lycians or and angry bear or even a stray ghoul from the castle grounds. garbing the dagger from your boot you crouch down to an defensive position slowly making your way toward the path you came from. as you take a step back slowly a few Lycian emerge from the tree line teeth bared eyes holding a burning hunger. a soft gasp leaves your lips if there are this many you know more are soon to follow

"well shit, I couldn't just go and have an easy day now could I?" you ask the Lycians sarcastically not really expecting a reply. a deep chuckle caught you off guard and in your shock you hear the swift shifting of metal. the feeling of cold steel on your ankle stealing your attention from the fast change of gravity as you are hoisted into the air, dangling like a prized fish. attempting to regain your bearings. you look around seeing the Lycian pack now completely surrounding you.

"well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in," standing clear in the path arm outstretched to hold the chain around you feet taking a step further with every word.

"a lost little bunny, who is hoping around where they should not be..." he says in a little tune with mirth in his step. finally stopping right in front of you raising you so your face is level with his shoulders you reach out attempting to swipe at him with you dagger, as soon as you weapon is revealed is ripped from your grasp and now spinning around you and the lord. a large gloved hand grips your face forcing you to look at lord Heisenberg.

"now I cant tell if that was stupidity, or bravery little bunny but I'm guessing you dont know who I am." he speaks with amusement as he examines your face and, forces you to look at him. you stop squirming long enough to stare at the round shades perched on his nose. this being the first time you have seen the lord this close ,its usually only in passing or from the shadows as to not be noticed, but now you have to admit the stubble and scars, the cocky smile, the smell of oil, pine, smoke, and Tabaco is actually not that bad.

"No I know who you are, just really dont care cause I'm a little busy" you immediately wiggle from his grasp and start reaching for the chain around your ankles. a boisterous laughter is released from behind you and suddenly your falling about a meter, back connecting with the ground a large "oof" emanating from you. Rushing to get the chain from around you ankles it fly from your hands. jumping to your feet you face Heisenberg head held high

"oh... you do know me, so it must be stupidity, that must explain why your on my land as well" Heisenberg ponders aloud." so you must either be lost or have a death wish" he says with a chuckle

"nope not lost, just need some of the herbs here and if you live in this village and haven't runaway or offed yourself you have a death wish" you reply flatly brushing the dirt of of yourself as you stand to gather your things. "now" you say turning back to him "my dragger if you'd please" extending you hand cautiously with and expectants look.

"wow, you've got some balls on you" puffing on his cigar "you better watch that attituded bunny" you are suddenly painfully aware of the small pack of hunger Lycian circling you both "and remember who the man in control is" hand still outstretched you snap back with

"listen hear 'lord Heisenbitch' I am sorry for trespassing on you land but I need 7 different herbs and at least 5oz of each, I need them before tomorrow evening, some of them for mother Miranda, as well as a women who just gave birth in the village. Now unless you wish to explain to Miranda why her healer is missing, and her people dead due to illnesses I would like my dagger back and you and your fine fuzzy companions to kindly fuck of." you knew your words where dangerous but at this point in the evening you really didn't give a fling fuck and the shock on Heisenberg's face when he recognizes you almost made it worth it.

"Wait your Miranda's prized witch, oh man this is great, how have you lasted so long, your so small bunny" this just pissed you off more you want your dagger back but he's just so infuriating. your dont have time for this

"Fine, just keep the dagger" you say shoving past him. Growling at the Lycians blocking the path they stay there ground and growl back, only to glance behind you whimper, and slowly back away clearing the path. A chain roughly wraps around you waist spinning you around and pulling you flush against Heisenberg before returning to his trench coat pocket. blowing his smoke in your face he drawls

"wow wow wow, slow you roll peter cotton tail I ain't being stingy, I just wanna talk a little" as he says this he wraps his arm around you waist slipping your dagger back into its sheath leaving his hand to rest on the dip of your hip, the other griping your chin forcing you to look up at him

"Let. Me. Go!" you hiss out never braking your gaze of his glasses

"now what would Miranda think of this, her pet of the leash, not respecting or listening to your lord" he teases not lessening his grip at all

"I dont give a scraggly rats ass, just let me go you bastard!" you spit at him, resaving a chuckle as a reply .

"ohhh I like you bunny, you've got fight not a lot of that left hear any more. but I need something from you darling, so we are gonna take a little walk back to your place, your gonna help me, then ill help you with your little situation how does that sound there bunny?" spinning you around arm still securely on your waist, he starts to walk still puffing on his cigar, quickly you realize you have no choice in the matter. the Lycians slow start to follow you keeping there distance at about 3 meters back this continues for a wile and it might have even been pleasant having company for once on the walk, you if you ignore the hungry Lycians and the fear Heisenberg will get angry or be done with his little game. slowly the forest edge and the village come in to the distances well as a small well worn foot path leading into a thick pine forest near the base of the Benevento valley

"so bunny, which way is it" Heisenberg ask moving his arm up to rest on your shoulders using the other to jester at the path ways.

"This way" you mumble out, gesturing to the pine foot path. now moving forward on you own accord tiered of being user around like a lost child. you dont make it very far seeing as soon as you start to move away he tightens his grip

"ohh come on bunny, no need to get cold feet. your getting something good out of this too, you just chill a little there thumper" he says smirk never leaving his face.

"well it sure as hell dont feel like it, this feels more like a kidnaping only we are headed to my own dwelling" you watch as the pine trees grow thicker with every passing second drawing closer to your burrow. soon a large moon gate covered in rosemary and lavender comes into a view just beyond it several greenhouses small and large soft light emanating from a few

"Now hold up thumper if you have all of these, what were you doing traipsing around by my factory? you weren't trying to get my attention were you?" he jabs at you obviously trying to get a rise out of you.

"What I was looking for I do not grow because it is local and I had a store of some, but it a since been exhausted, lots of sick ones this season." you replied tiredly seeing as dusk has passed a wile ago and you had been called out well before day brake. now you where just too tired to deal with his shenanigans. continuing forward you approach the door and tap the center of the door with the old iron key handing from your neck three times then you insert it into the keyhole and twist it three times to the right and it slowly creeks open. rushing forwards in an attempt to put some distance between the two of you you start to tend to the fire stroking the coals and adding a few logs. while your bussing your self Heisenberg makes himself at home pulling out a chair and throwing his feet on top of the table and popping a new cigar between his lips . Turning to grab your tea pot you see this unfold waltzing over to him and slapping his feet of the table

"That is mahogany" as you say this he goes to protest " no 'lord' Heisenberg you in my domain now no feet on the table" you snatch the cigar from between his lip and toss it into the fireplace "and no smoking in the main room."

"alright, alright," he says holding his arms in the air "one you could have just put it out and handed it back thumper, and second of all watch who your talking to darlin" to this you quickly respond with

"Still dont care" he gives you grunt as a response

"third of all I still have yet to disclose the nature of my visit I need you to look at something for me" and with that he stands up his chest now centimeters from your nose he reaches for his hat and sunglasses setting them on the table, tossing his trench coat on to the chair. your face quickly turning a shade of red dark enough to rival the radishes out in garden as you realize just what he is doing. pulling of his shirt with a wince. Holding his shirt in his hands, you try not to make your gaze obvious, he slowly turns to reveal a large, deep laceration very poorly bandages and clearly in the throes of a terrible infection. you immediately push all other thoughts aside concern taking its place, you recognized this wound, you where present when he resaved it .

flashback

"you stupid man child, you know nothing you should just leave the talking to the adults like a good little boy"

"shut your dame hole you bitch"

they have been going at it for 37 minutes and counting Alcina said something Karl disagrees and so the back and forth begins about 5 minutes ago Karl brought out his hammer and been waving it out in the open. tensions have been rising and your a little worried it is about to get violent. Anggie who had been watching the argument from you lap starts to vibrate with joy sensing the approaching violence.

"ooooooooohhh its aaboutttttt tooo get goooooodddddd!!!" she sings while hoping off your lap to sit closer on donnas lap seeing as you are perched by the back wall behind Miranda. and just as you both had predicted disaster struck.

"you insolent fool." Alcina suddenly cry's, swiping her hand forward as Karl turns his back to her slashing from shoulder to hip. you immediately rush forward, only to be stopped by mother Miranda holding her arm in your path.

"ENOUGH, stop the foolishness NOW!" Miranda's voice ringing out clear through the entire hall "Heisenberg my son, stand," she demands. he slowly makes his way to his feet now facing mother Miranda "your actions have been stupid and reckless as punishment, I shall leave you with this burden to care for. maybe it will teach you how much effort it takes heal rather than destroy. and what if feels like to live with ones mistakes." you hand covers your mouth as you bite your tongue. you may not like Karl that much but he still is not as bad as they say.

end scene

"BY THE GODS, how has this not healed yet!? have you been rubbing dirt in it? I knew this was a stupid lesson. I knew I should have gone against that two faced, false goddess, pretensive ass, bitch and marched my happy ass to that factor. THAT WAS TWO WEEKS AGO, this should have been gone ages ago!!!" you shout while carefully examining the laceration. quickly you pull out the char he was previously siting on out, so he could sit on it with his back to the fire and lean on the back of the chair. grabbing Heisenberg's shoulders you gently shove him into the chair. rushing around you grab several herbs hanging from the ceiling in bundles. then over to the counter you produce a mortar and pestle along with several oils and extracts

"woooow, thumper slow down, slow down," he chides calmly garbing your shoulders, your arms still packed full of items. slowly he starts to set the items on the table. "now I didn't rub dirt in it, but there might be some oil, its not healed because I have no idea how to treat a wound this large. and what's this about Miranda being a bitch and ignoring orders?" as he says this you realized just how bad you have fucked up.

"OH MY GODS, I didn't mean a word of it lord Heisenberg I meant no disrespect please I am so sorry dont tell mother Miran-" you franticly bow keeping your eyes to the floor hoping he would ether spare you make you death quick. while he clearly doesn't like Miranda or her family he was still a part of it.

"hay hay hay thumper calm down your alright. I'm not gonna go all psycho on you, and your secret is safe with me, your not the only one with unsavory views on that bitch Miranda." your slowly look up at him in shock it is widely know that he disagree with the other lords but this is a first. you gingerly make your way over to the table and start to mix together several herbs and flowers. "and thumper just call me Karl" he says with a flirtatious grin, you blush but grinding the herbs into a powder

"only if you stop calling me thumper." slowly adding some drops of oils to the mixture making a thick green salve.

"well I gotta have something to call you bunny" he say grin stretching across his face as you blush even more now

"well my name is (Y/N) ok, now stop" you say while puffing up you cheek in a pout. rushing behind him so he can no longer see your face and you can apply the salve" this is going to sting" not give him tome to proses any thing you said you rip off the bandages and start to carefully apply the salve. a shout bubbles up in his throat the second the salve touches his shoulder

"SON OF A Bitch..." he snarls" maybe a little more warning next time y/n" as soon as he growls out your name you short circuit you hand no simply resting next to his wound "y/n... y/n" he waits a couple of seconds before trying again. "y/n!" jumping a little you come back to reality " you all good back there" Karl questions

"almost done just need to finish this up, then I will apply bandages, and all you need to do is rest for a day or two" as you Finnish saying this you reach for he bandages and gently begin to properly wrap the wound "this is how you properly wrap a wound Karl" you make sure to say first his name. "go all the way around and over and around the shoulder" slowly and carefully placing the bandages showing him the movements and positions. you move around to the front of lightly wrapping his shoulder "dont go to tight when bandaging joints, it increases mobility but not lose enough to move" as you speak solely focused on you task at hand you dont see Karl staring at your face, a look of adoration on his face which he is quick to drop once you turn to him. gently patting his shoulder "now all you need is a lot of rest and a hot meal" smiling you slowly make your way over to the fire removing the teapot and hanging a medium sized cauldron over the fire. turning kettle in hand you see Karl putting on his hat and going to pull his coat on having already put his shirt on

"well thumper its been wonderful but I have to get back to my-" you cut him off taking his coat and hanging it by the door.

"oh no you don't, you need rest and real food, and not to make any assumptions but I doubt you'll get any of those in your factory" as you say this you put the chair back in its normal position swiftly going to a small spare room on the side. grabbing a thick blanket you walk to the table, and drape it over the back of the chair. patting it flat you open your arms and jester to the chair "now please have a seat food will be done shortly" you say with a smile as he just stand there slack jawed at you attempting to boss him around. slowly he take a seat and just watches as you prepare a cup of tea for you both "hear this should help with the pain" you say handing him a large mug that still looked too small in his hand. you turn and head back to the counter and start dicing us vegetables and some fish to put the cauldron.

"thank you" he mumbles quietly watching you dance about the kitchen a soft smile on his face. "so what's your story? you obviously dont like Miranda so why stay and be her little pet healer on her beck and call." Karl jests wanting to know more about you now that he has the chance with out his stupid family there

"well a long time ago I has someone I had to look out for, they needed help I could not provide it, Miranda could. So I made a deal, help her, and ill do as wish. So I comply to keep her safe and happy, if it went for her, I would have sent that false deity to her flaming grave decades ago." you finished cutting the veggies and meat depositing it in the pot, you make your way opposite of Karl at the table and take a seat. slowly sipping your tea. "now I just tend to the villagers for Miranda and visit my belladonna"

"wait who is belladonna" he askes a look of confusion overtaking his features

"my apologies, I mean donna, before Miranda adopted her and gave her her gift she was a sad and lonely child with parents too ill to save, so after her parents passing, I watched over her and loved her as my own" you say a soft smile on your face looking around the room I was the only one she let touch Anggie, she was such a kind child asking so many questions behind closed doors and always eager to learn new skills" you reminisce the old days setting your now empty cup on the table. "but now she's grown and well, and happy, so that is all that matters" you say curtly standing and heading over the the bubbling pot of stew and giving it a stir.

"so wait your telling me you the witch who raised Benevento," Karl spouts astonishment clear in his voice. "One how are you not dead yet? Two that's why you spend so much time in that spooky ass house, and three how come you aren't an old hag you dont look a day over 25?" even in shock this man some how still manages to throw in a flirt. you give a small chuckle.

"well when I struck my deal with Miranda," you make you way over to a tall cabinet and withdraw two wooden bowls and a large ladle ." donna was just become a young adult, so she new what excepting Miranda's gift would entitle, including the prolonged life." returning to the stew and scooping a hefty serving into Karl's bowl and only filling your half way. "after her parents suicided she couldn't handle the loss another parental figure, her words not mine, she refused the treatment unless Miranda changed me as well." hanging the ladle on the wall and carefully turning back to Karl and making your way to him. "I had already had my go at life and helped as many as I could so I agreed not expecting to come out alive," you say calmly sitting down in the seat acres from Karl. "unfortunately my will was to strong so hear I am now, a fail experiment serving out my end of the deal" you give a sarcastic smile and do a little jazz hands as your story comes to a close. Karl is still for moment then burst into a deep laughter, but still alarmed at your willingness to except death.

"I'm sorry bunny I dont mean to be insensitive," he attempts to suppress his chuckles. "you are really the one that raised donna?"

"yes I am I know its a little hard to believe, but yes." you say solemnly feeling a little weird everyone who knew you too be donnas nanny have long since passed.

"no no no, there ain't nothing wrong with that darlin! In fact you did fucking awesome, out of all of us monsters she has the best manners and turned out the best." he says in a panicked tone, afraid he has said something wrong.

"Karl none of you are monsters, and your ok you didn't say anything wrong" you say quickly adding " none of you are monsters! you and the other were forced into the experiments, unlike donna and I. your only a monster when you subject an enter village to a false religion just to slaughter them for her experiments under the name of a sick false family she has not love for!" you say venom and hate for that hag dripping from each word. a stern but caring look on your face as you look rights in his eyes as you say this "you aren't a monster. you where a kid with out a choice, and now you are a man surviving and your doing amazing in your situation." you cautiously grab his hand resting in the table " you are not a monster no mater who has told you that including your self" He pulls back lightly but does not remove your hand from his., allowing you to rub his knuckles.

"but I-" he starts but you dont let him continue

"nope you cant convince me other wise, I'm the village crazy witch I am all knowing and wise." you say in a cherry tone, garbing his hand with both of yours. using one to tap out a small tune on the back of his hand. that nice deep laughter made an appearance again you have to admit its nice to hear him laugh instead of ague with everyone.

"well dame bunny, can't argue with that logic now can I " A large toothy grin takes over his face little crinkles show at the corners of his eyes. shaking his head he gives a chuckle then picks up the bowl of stew and finishing what was left in the bowl in a few gulps. setting the bowl down he asks "shit that hit the spot, can I just take you home with me and have you cook for me every night that some dame good stew" he jokes. laughing a little you finish your bowl, garbing his you stand and bring them to a bucket at the end of the sink.

"no I cant come home with you every day" rinsing the plates before setting them in the bucket you continue. "but you can come over when ever the lantern on the porch is light, if its not I am either in the village with a patient, or visiting donna or Miranda, or foraging. I am a busy witch Karl, just a warning." he chuckles

"ill make a note of that expect me often that shits good." he says pointing at the pot hanging over the small flames.

"well in that case ill put some in jars so you can take it with you when you leave tomorrow" you say off handedly while making your way over to the pot fishing the leftovers out, and putting it in two large mason jars. out of the corner of your eye you see him deflate a little when you when you mention his departure tomorrow. moving over to a wall of cupboard you store the two jars "to night you can take my bed or the cot in the guest room, though I dont know if you'll fit" you say walking over to said door and opening it reveling a small room with a vanity in the back left corner to the left of the door was a small sink and counter with a basin next to it. opposite to that was a small cabinet and in the back right corner a small wooden cot about half the side of the man now standing directly behind you in the doorway. so close, when he took a deep breath you could feel his shirt brush your, and his warm breath fans across your neck. now with bright red face you make you hastily make you way to the cabinet to the right of the door and start to grab a large quilt and a pillow or two. Karl enters the room looking around taking in the new environment and casually making his way over to the cot and taking a seat. you head over to him staring at the blanket hoping that he would not see your face

"thank you, y/n you really could've just sent my packing I really appreciate it I do" he says with a soft smile resting on his scared face, 'it suites him,' you think to your self 'he should smile more.'

"well hear you go this should be think enough it gets pretty chilly in hear and I haven't fixed the heater yet so if you need more there are some in the cabinet you say gesturing to the cabinet with your head. holding the blanket and pillow out for him to take he reaches hands grazing against yours as he takes them from your hands pulling them closer"

"thanks bunny I re-" he is abruptly cut short by a sharp wine of wood under duress followed quickly by a loud snap of the cot braking a the loud thud of Karl's ass hitting the floor. "OH FUCK" Karl was now the one looking up at you. slapping a hand over your mouth to suppress the laughter about to burst from you.

"OH by the gods, are you ok" you say still trying to hold back the onslaught of giggles offering a hand for him to take

"so this is what the weather is like down here" he says jokingly as you hoist him off the ground carful of his shoulder and back. gently slapping his chest

"I'm only a little shorter than you, ya know" you say "but in light of me needing to purchase a new cot from duke, I guess you'll be sleeping in my bed tonight." he gives you a flirty look

"dame thumper if you wanted me in your bed that bad all you had to do was ask not buries my ass first" he says with a deep chuckle.

"I am not tying to get you in my bed" you say panicked face exploding with red. "I wont even be in it with you, and secondly it wasn't that far of a drop so the only thing damage was you ego and my cot obviously. now come follow me please." you say now attempting to lead him out of the room. Karl looks at you as if he was trying to figure something but soon trailing behind you like a lost puppy. you lead him through the main room down a hallway with three doors heading to the furthest down you push open the heavy wooden door. letting Karl enter first you make your way to the bed garbing your favorite pillow and a thick blanket off the bed spread "well she's all yours" you say jokingly waving your arm over the bed as a invitation dont lay on your back or shoulder" you say making your way back to the door arms now full "sleep well." and with at you turn to leave only to be stopped by a hand on your shoulder.

"wait if I'm sleeping here and I just demolished your spare bed where will you be sleeping" he ask concern lacing his voice a he turn you around to face him

"well ill go clean up the old cot and then ill just use some spare blankets as a mattress for the night." you say with out a second thought.

"no no no, I will not let you do that you have done enough for me. I'll just go back to my factory and be out of your hair." your face scrunches up.

"you say that as if I am annoyed by you, but I can assure you, you do not annoy me. next I wont let you leave this hut you need to rest and I need to change those bandages as soon as you wake." you say no room for argument evident in your voice. "and if you have such an issue using my bed but I apologies its the only one, and I wont let you sleep on the floor with that wound." you with finality.

"then I guess well just have too share it. cues I will just jump through a window to go back home" he say with a laugh. you have no idea if he was joking or not. still, gazing up at his face the smirk remained "so" he asks "which will it be will you join me or and I gonna have to practice my long distance sprint." you sigh growing tired with every passing second your long day finally catching up too you. no longer having any energy to argue.

"fine" you huff out walking over to the bed where Karl was I like the right side" climbing in you take a body pillow from the back of the bed putting it in the middle " you better stay on your half of the bed old man" you say climbing back down from the bed and heading a dresser under a large window. you produce a pair of sleep thin pants and a large think white long sleeved shirt. "I need to change so ether steep out or just dont look." to tired to care at this point you look over your shoulder and see him turned away from you sitting on the left side of the bed. replacing your dirty clothe with fresh sleep pants and a oversized top. garbing a spare pair of large sleep pants and shirt before making your way back to the bed, flopping onto it comically ,while tossing the change of clothing on his side of the bed "hear you go, this should fit" he looks down at the articles of clothing.

"well thank you bunny," undoing his belt and changing his pant, completely ignoring the new shirt. "but uhhh I dont think that shirt is gonna work though" he says smirk evident in his voice.

"and why would that be-" you ask confusion clear on you face as you roll over to face him without thinking. face exploding in color as you freeze up, now staring at his bare chest brain loosing any train of thought.

"my eyes are up hear now bunny," he says with a deep chuckle "but please dont let me interrupt your staring. as for why I never sleep with one its confining" smirk never leaving his face, as he lays down on his half of the mattress. quickly you roll over

"I wasn't staring, I zoned out. Just toss the shirt on to the top of the dresser" he gives another chuckle but says nothing. pulling the thick comforter up to you chin due to the chill, reaching over you turn the knob on the lantern smothering the flame. "good night Karl sleep well" you say without a second thought closing your eyes slowly, reality fading out as you hear Karl

"goodnight thumper sleep well" a gentleness to his tone that sends the rest of the way to sleep.

word count: 5884

ps: please forgive my horrid grammar

#karl heisenberg #karl heisenburg x reader #resident evil #res 8 #res evil #donna beneviento #re8 angie #re8 donna #re8 karl heisenberg

53 notes · View notes

pocket-clown · 4 years ago

Text

A Place in your Home; A Place in your Heart | Arthur Fleck x reader

// original request: Hi! I love your writings 💖 and I shyly wanted to request something. ^^ I wonder if you could write about Reader that has a difficult situation and has to find a new place to live, but doesnt have enough money? Arthur wants to help her and offers her that she can live with him. They've not dated for long but it's serious and the're much in love. She wants to move in with him, but she's afraid it wouldn not work out for many reasons, but eventually she agrees and Arthur is immensely happy. ^^

// A/N: This originally was going to be a longer fic, but I’ve been struggling with writing yet again, so I figured breaking it down into headcanons was easier than taking eons longer to write something more detailed.

thanks for the request, @dont-be-alarmed

It had been nearly three weeks since you were given the news, the words barely making their way over the fuzzy phone lines, voice as uncaring as ever.

Due to a better suited tenant making an offer, your lease was not going to be renewed, and you needed to be out by the end of the month - no if, ands, or buts about it.

Your lifestyle was a hand to mouth one; paycheck to paycheck, your weekly earnings were just enough to cover rent and basic necessities with little left over to save, splurges on luxuries being an occasional, very rare treat.

With your rainy day savings, your actual savings, and the total accumulation of the profit you made from selling various items that you could, you barely had enough to cover even a deposit on any of the nearby apartments - let alone deposit, and the first month’s rent.

In short, you were screwed.

You were screwed, and it was eating at you. Day and night, the thought loomed over you like the piles of trash that littered the city, threatening to topple over on passersby at any moment.

Had you been given a much more reasonably timed heads up, it wouldn’t have been even half an issue, yet you were left to do nothing but lay in bed, eyes burning as you stared at the television, seeing but not really watching the program on it. You’d been pulled from your restless sleep by the sound of a glass bottle dropping and shattering somewhere outside, and given that it was nearly four in the morning, you were about to give up on sleep.

Even in your sleepy haze, did the weight of the situation hit you like a truck, your stomach tightening with anxiety, the churning twist of panic, worry, and hopelessness making your eyes blur with tears as you shifted your gaze to the ceiling.

You couldn’t help but almost pitifully chuckle at that - soon, there wouldn’t even be a ceiling for you to cry over.

December was nearly on its last legs with Christmas just around the corner; the days of autumn bleeding into those of winter as you found yourself growing more and more grateful each day that your boyfriend’s apartment was one of the few that had a functioning heating system. Temperatures dipped below freezing more often than not, and you often had to take a moment to brace yourself before you stepped outside as the air’s freeze physically hurt sometimes - your eyes, nose, and fingers on the days you forgot your gloves stinging from the wind, while any exposed skin reddened from the nip of the wind.

It was thoughts of days like those that made you brief a sigh of relief and sink back into the couch of Arthur’s living room, one of his softest blankets fluffed and draped around your body as you curled your legs under yourself, warm and safe from the harsh weather outside, and the even harsher population of the city.

It was also thoughts of days like those that reminded you that this wasn’t going to last.

“Love, what’s on your mind?”

As in tune with your emotions as ever, Arthur noticed that you were particularly quiet that evening, lost in your thoughts as you didn’t even pay any mind to the television - set to the weekly airing of The Murray Franklin Show.

You hadn’t even told Arthur what was going on, the fear of stressing your already overworked boyfriend out keeping you from opening your mouth.

“Huh? Oh - nothing,” You blinked, turning your attention from the carpet to the television. “I’m just tired.” You spoke, fingertips picking at the frayed hem of the blanket currently wrapped around your body.

Another hint for Arthur: no Art, no Artie tacked on the end to your reply. From the corner of your eye could you see him through the passthrough, eyeing you from his spot at the kitchen counter where he was taking the utmost care to not spill the mug of hot chocolate he was making you as he stirred it.

Even though your relationship was hardly out of its infancy, you both knew each other well enough to tell when something was wrong. Arthur was already so very in tune with your emotions, so you knew he wasn’t just going to let your morose mood go without a question or two, and you knew yourself enough to know that something about Arthur’s concern hit a soft spot in your heart, rendering you unable to keep much from him once he managed to get into your head.

He seemed almost sad as he now stood in the entrance to the living room, his lips settled into a thin line as he kept his eyes trained on you. You felt yourself shrink under his gaze, the guilt from keeping something so major from him eating at you, but the uncertainty and apprehension of not only how you’d bring it up with Arthur, but how he’d react.

One of your worst fears was Arthur jumping on the opportunity to have you live with him. Not because you didn’t want to, not because you didn’t trust him or anything of the sort - but Arthur had a habit of putting the needs of others, especially your own, miles above his own. Money was much tighter for him than it was for you, and hell you had no idea if even combining incomes would be much help. No doubt that it would be some, but whether it would be enough, especially given the uncertain job climate of Gotham, left you scratching your head.

Arthur took a seat next to you, the drink he brought you placed on the coffee table, and with a deep breath, you let it spill out faster than you really meant for it to.

Your lease was ending in just over a week. Your landlord had no intent of renewing it because someone else was moving in, and you had no money to move elsewhere yet, even after your best efforts at earning enough. You had no where to go, nothing to do, no way to remedy the situation - and time was running out.

Hell, you had no idea if at this point you even could do anything beyond accepting the inevitable.

“Why... don’t you stay here?”

Arthur’s meek, yet hopeful voice raising such a suggestion made your ears perk up. You hadn’t even thought about that - but immediately did you know that it wouldn’t work. At least not yet.

“Art - I can’t do that, you know I can’t.” You couldn’t look at him as you spoke, the thought of being able to live in with him making your heart skip a beat, but the knowledge that it almost most definitely was not realistic at the moment making it hard to swallow.

“Why can’t you?”

“It won’t work - it’s not going to work.”

Though instantly you regret speaking those words, wincing once you realized what they implied. You knew Arthur and his anxieties well enough to know that it wasn’t improbable that he took “it won’t work” as meaning, you didn’t have enough faith in your relationship for it to work.

“ - Not like that,” You were quick to correct yourself, hoping to save the situation before it became more angst ridden. “I mean, living together. At least right now. Money is already tight for you, isn’t it? And I mean, it’s not like my own job is the most stable right now.”

“Y/N, do you really think that matters?” Arthur looked almost angry as he spoke, as if the fact that you were concerned about finances was ridiculous in such a situation. You knew Arthur enough to know he wasn’t actually mad, at least not at you, but still on edge at the threat of your loss of shelter. “You’ll be homeless, and - and who knows what could happen to you out there -” The hitch in Arthur’s breath as he spoke, coupled with the way his left hand gripped at the fabric of his trousers clued you in that this was something extremely distressing for him.

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, yet you refused to let them fall as you blinked them away. “Arthur -”

“Please,” Arthur’s hand shot out for your own, his warm from holding the hot drink previously as he held your hand tight in his own. “Y/N, please.. Don’t worry about money, we’ll figure it out - but it’s dangerous, it’s awful out there and I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you -”

Had you not stopped him midsentence with a gentle “Hey -”, you’d no doubt Arthur would��ve either succumbed to a fit of laughter, tears, or both.

“ - Arthur, hey,” Your free hand that wasn’t kept in his own reached for his shoulder, tugging gently on the fabric of that brown cardigan you so loved, pulling him closer to you. His forehead came to rest on your shoulder, his breath just barely noticeable against the fabric of your chest. “I dont... I don’t know what I’d do, either - Arthur I just don’t want to add more to your plate, you’re already so overworked, I shouldn’t have even mentioned it.”

You could feel Arthur shake his head at your words, but he didn’t speak - not that you blamed him.

With your lips now pressed to the top of his head, you took a deep breath, breathing in his scent. That comforting scent you’ve come to love and seek out within the few months you’ve been with him - the scent you, really, wouldn’t mind being surrounded by all of the time.

“We’ll try,” You said finally, not missing how Arthur seemed to tense up at your words. “Arthur I... would love to stay here - I would, love to live with you. It’s going to take some time to adjust - never mind actually making the move - but... I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You could’ve laughed at how Arthur shot up at this, his eyes wide as he seemed full of disbelief for a moment before your own reassuring smile sparked a growing grin on his face. “Do you really mean it, Y/N?”

“Waking up with, going to bed next to, coming home to you doesn’t sound all too bad, the more I think about it,” You whispered, your body finding its way to Arthur’s as his arms pulled you close.

Maybe this home wouldn’t be so bad.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------taglist;

@ajokeformur-ray @theangelmaker @fleckcmscott @soulsdontbreaktheybeeend @tsukiakarinobara @darknessisafriend @honking4joker @sgtsavoytruffle @smol-nari

#request #arthur fleck #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x you #arthur fleck headcanons #arthur fleck imagine #joker #joker 2019 #joker x reader #joker x you #joker imagines #joker headcanons #joker 2019 x rader #joker 2019 x you #joker 2019 headcanons #joker 2019 imagines

89 notes · View notes

convxction · 3 years ago

Text

[ [ taps mic. finally the script is here. time to dig in.

deceased noises. the japanese line is so .... mhm. chrom says: Ore no hanshin, rufure -- my half, reflet. . . . .

chrom’s love is the kind he give everything to his loved ones ... just like emmeryn waaaaaa being selfless sobs.

nods nods. finding someone to love is better. looks respectfully to your left. lol. the japense line reminded me of the drama cd tbh. reflet want the stability but he wants to find the stability in himself first before he can drag someone into his unstable life. depresso noises.

it is funny to think that avatar can calculate and make research on what everyone want / like but for him its just ??? me???? confusion noises cant comprehend. good bean robin wants everyone to be happy. why you take that line away keep it gdi. he wants ppl to be happy shakes fist.

lays on the ground. take a shot of water every time chrom says he wants to follow after emmeryn’s footsteps. and cry. shot and cry. idk why when chrom says something like > 俺も見習いたいものだ。 it is so fuzzy feeling in my chest sobs. looks at tomokazu sugita...you make it extra fuzzy sobs.

lmao as much as i want to think he means robin likes chrom’s clothes but the clothes in general, i think. because i feel like it is so special to be able to wear something nice and express his feelings, matching the prince no less. it means a lot thats why chrom says robin like THE clothes, not HIS clothes. but hey, i can be wrong and i dont mind. it just fits robin better to be thankful for the opportunity to wear something and participate in the occasion. lays on the ground ..he sees him like a dignified gentleman ...sobs. it means a lot man. seeing robin always doing things in the background and now he is stepping under the spot light to join them ..sobs. hey i remember the christmas one dont need to butt in. more festivals more participation lets gooooo

you heard of bonds, you heard of parties now get ready for FEELINGS/LOVE CHANGE FATE WOHOH!!!

HE IS HAPPY TO BE USEFUL TO CHROM ...RIP ME.

kanshanokimochi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sobs. pray hard chrom, pray hard! LOVE HARDER LMAO

aha kanjiru yo desu ne~ where and how exact----*shot*

chrom: let me swing my sword, someone put these gifts away

christmas chrom: HM????????????? *SLAMS WITH HIS GIFT BAG* LEARN YOUR PLACE, WEAK.

robin big brain about the purpose of the shepherds. i mean, yes the shepherds was made to protect the people first and foremost. when emmeryn died and chrom read her will, the shepherds grew in just protecting ylisse to protect the whole world--the world that emmeryn loved and the people she loves live in (the world where the people HE loves live in.)

he adds that protecting their happiness is one of the shepherds roles. true true.

chrom pikachu shooketh jpg for some reason. dude you work for that too dont be surprised xD but yes, keep it close and tight in your kokoro please. that what makes you a special boy sobs.

Okurimono erabi wa… nigateda.. sits and think about lissa’s support.

even when defeated, still his fault. i mean yes, your fault lmao.

still soft when robin calls emmeryn--emmerina-sama ...sobs.

im always interested how english chrom is a little playful and jp chrom is literally human robot--cyborg just straight to the point. what do you want?????? tower over him. tell me. now.

kimi roman tte mono ga nai yo ne…hahahahahahahaa .... haaaaaaaaaaa. you know he is chrom, the lord who densed like no one else densed like him. we coined densed just for him. the moment when you give up on your partner because they are too ....special to be romantic.

i love how chrom just ignores and asks again. dude. at least try to be tiny bit romantic. but thats ok.

selfless man 2.

stubborn man. tell me punk. tell me what you want. what you really really what you want, what you really really want~

*alexa play p/ersona 3 tender feelings please*

*ALEXA PLAY TA/ES OF THE/ABY/SS IN BETWEN 1 AND 0 PLEASE*

hold his flower.

it’s all for a flower ... inigo dont butt in. raquel too. dont butt in flower people this is not your flower.

my brain is like: this is not the first time robin did this. we’re into something. sh/erlock holmes got nothing on me. because it is a tactical book. he learned this tactic from the tactical book winks.

rolls sleeves. chrom you talk about lissa like this i swear i will 2D myself and come to punch your dumb face 😤 the audacity. smh.

mama robin back in action. dont be shy and give your gratitude, ok?

hosoya-san go to jail. please. just go to jail.

i live for chrom telling robin to not treat him like a child. i like it when chrom says ‘茶化すな’ lololol.

i believe there will be the map script too but thats for another post.

#⚔ooc.⚔ (faty speaks)#⚔headcanon.⚔ (building up)#[sits in a corner.#[[aaaaaaa

1 note · View note

heartbreakgrill · 5 years ago

Text

That Smile; Luke Hemmings, Pt. 3

description: feelings are being felt, songwriting is coming to an end, and the time is slipping by.

a/n: pt 4.

“Calum, I actually fucking love this idea.”

Painted fingernails clenched a similar blue mechanical pencil, tapping relentlessly on a lined, worn out notebook. The studio was chilly, which was why you were wrapped up in a hoodie, zip-up jacket, fuzzy socks, and a blanket. Your legs were tucked underneath, sinking deep into the couch of the studio. Calum was slumped beside you with his own pen and paper. Michael was across the room from you, in a rolling chair, guitar in hand.

Ashton and Luke were in a different room, working through their own ideas. You decided it would be good to split groups up today. The dynamic needed to change, you had said, because its a Monday and we need to not let ourselves get into a phase. You’d chosen the groups, eager to work with one-half of the rhythm section and a killer guitarist. And, maybe, perhaps, you had put Luke into a different group because you were avoiding him.

It had been over a week and a half since that stupid party. You were ashamed, embarrassed, and so, so disappointed in yourself for getting emotionally drunk and crying in the arms of a client. Though it wasn’t obvious avoidance, Luke noticed. And he dished to Ashton, Michael, and Calum because he was also noticing growing feelings for you.

You had barely know each other for four months, but he knew he was getting too attached to your talent, pretty eyes, and bubbly personality. You reminded him of the good things in life, as weird as it sounded. He knew he couldn’t make advances without some kind of signal from you, which he couldn’t receive if you wouldn’t talk to him. And time was running out.

“Yeah? Thanks,” Calum replied, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He shared a glance with Michael, questions in his eyes, and Michael nodded. “Y/N?”

You hummed as you scribbled a few words, “Huh? Oh, how does, “I wont break your heart...Again! Can’t be another monster among men. No, that doesn’t work with the rhythm.”

Michael took over, “Y/N, why are you avoiding Luke?”

Luke liked your bubbliness, which shined through as you continued talking, “Are we going along with the counting idea? I like it being a reoccurring pattern, but kinda different each-“

“Y/N, c’mon,” Calum nudged her with his foot. “What happened?”

You suddenly stood up, notebook falling to the ground, pencil gripped so hard your knuckles turned white. “I’m getting coffee. I’m thirsty for coffee. Do you guys want coffee? Ill get you some coffee.”

They sat, shocked at how quickly you left the room, while you pushed open the door and sped to the break room. Your hand landed on the handle to the coffee pot before you could assess the room. Breath was short, eyes were bleary, and your stomach twisted in knots.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Luke spoke from his spot at the table, sipping his own coffee. He didn’t care, in that moment, that you were ignoring him. He just cared if you were okay.

You took a deep breath and spun on your heel. “I’m sorry for ignoring you. I’m embarrassed and kinda scared and I’m not doing well, like, ever. When something like you happens, I get overwhelmed and step back. Its unhealthy, but its just what I do. I’m sorry.”

Luke stood up, approaching you with slow feet, “Woah, hey, its okay. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I was just afraid you were angry with me for the party.”

“Why would I be angry?” You looked up at him as your hand grasped the necklace on your throat.

“For holding you or giving you drinks or something. I’m sorry I let you get out of hand.” He shrugged.

You shook your head, the tears going away, “No, no. I needed it. I-“

You stopped yourself from spilling too much. Luke lightly grabbed your palm with his fingers, and he told himself it was friendly, the way your skin electrified and your eyes blew up. “You can trust me. I know we haven’t known each other long, but we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. You can trust me.”

“Okay,” you took a deep breath. “Truth be told, I wasn’t just overwhelmed because of the whole songwriting thing. I was overwhelmed because my boyfriend broke up with me. It was a few weeks before that night, but I was letting it build. He said he hadn’t loved me in a while. And, I...I did love him. I do love him somewhat. It hurts so bad, but I haven’t had anyone because he...he was the only person I really knew here in LA. He was kinda controlling, so I didn’t have, like any friends when we moved here and he wouldn’t let me make them. So, I’m now in an empty apartment, with a bunch of unboxed boxes. And...”

Luke felt drawn away from it all. He couldn’t let himself love you in the first place, but even more so now. You were getting over someone, a fresh break up from two weeks ago. He would be a rebound, if you could even get yourself to touch someone else.

“Its okay,” he persisted, gulping the disappointment and chasing it down with another squeeze to your hand. “Keep going.”

“I got upset because I realized that, that night, a bunch of feelings were surfacing for somebody who wasn’t him. I wasn’t sad for a few hours and I let myself get infatuated with this stupid idea. I felt guilty and then I felt gross because its unprofessional to like a client. Its also impossible for it to work. I mean, I’m a slummy songwriter. Hes- Hes a rockstar.” You felt ashamed, letting your head hang low, and your eyes fall from his gaze.

Lukes own eyes lit up, pupils dilated with adoration, hope. The lump disappeared, instead replaced by this ungodly squeal that he couldn’t let out. This is it. Here it was, you liked-

“Calum,” You said it quickly, almost too soon for him to register and comprehend. “I-I like Ash-Ashton.”

He squared his shoulders, his jaw set, and the grip on your hand almost stopped the blood flow to his fingers. He realized he was tightening his hold, so he let up. The size of his eyes became small again, diluted with glistening tears.

Why did he left himself get hopeful? He couldn’t blame it on the fact that he barely knew you, you him. You’d gotten to know each other. Couldn’t blame you. You were human, going through receding heartbreak. Couldn’t blame Calum, who was clueless to the ideas. He could only blame himself for getting attached again, for getting this idea in his head of holding you, kissing you, loving you.

“Oh,” Luke didn’t let himself look disappointed. After everything, he couldn’t allow himself to look like a fool.

Your face fell at his reaction. “Yeah,” you quickly added. “Don’t tell him, or anyone. I dont think I want to, to be in a relationship. Right now, at least. Plus, I think he’s talking to somebody. Hes been writing hopeful love songs.”

He wasn’t. Those were Lukes ideas that Calum covered up because he knew his friend too well. He was protecting him.

You shared a chuckle. Lukes eyes tore from the cupboard above you, to the shapes of broken hearts in your eyes. He was sure they matched his own, but you couldn’t tell.

“I’m...here for you. If you need me, I’m here.”

You nodded solemnly, lifting yourself on your toes to wrap your arms around his shoulders. He cradled your waist, nearly reflexively nuzzling his head into your neck. You stopped yourself from kissing his cheek when you pulled away.

He walked you back the room, then back to his own area, already grabbing the pen he had abandoned and scribbling out a stupid sad song.

It was in the following weeks in which he found himself falling head over heels for you. The album was nearly done after almost six months, but you all knew there songs to be written. It didn’t feel complete to neither you nor the rest of the band. For Luke, it was because he didn’t have you.

What he had was moments. You laughing, leaning over your lap and your forehead crashing against his shoulder. You laughing, after a glance from Luke that was silly, after a joke Michael told, after a meme aum showed you. You, smiling, when Luke suggested a lyric, when he held open the door for you, handed you a cup of coffee. You, dancing, to a completed song you and him had written together one night after the boys left.

You had had an idea that day, but felt flushed out by the crazy amount of inspiration coming from every other person in the studio. Luke noticed you lingering behind when everyone walked out and decided to stay, too. You ordered in Chinese food, got carried away and discussed your star signs.

When you finally bid goodbye in the parking lot, Luke was lingering over your car door like that day he invited you to the party. When he finally slipped off to his car, he sat there for a moment and Googled something. He discovered your star signs were compatible.

The song was finished, lyrics wise. Neither of you were talented with the rhythm section, and the next week was spent with Calum and Ashton, writing and rewriting. A week after that, it was recorded.

You pressed play on the track, immediately bouncing up and down to the song, “Meet You There.” Luke already loved it when you wrote it, but watching you dance around, watching you as you pulled him off the couch and spun him around, he realized it was favorite song. Ever.

But, then you wiggled over to Calum, pulled him up in a similar movement. Calum grabbed your waist, dancing with you across the room. When he lifted you over his shoulder and spun in quick circles, Luke found himself frowning. He fell onto the couch, the soundtrack of the song and your heart-wrenching giggles like a depressing movie staple.

Luke had moments of you and Calum engrained in his memory. Calum offering his lap for you to put your legs, offering to grab you and Luke cups of coffee because he, “was thinking of getting one, too.”

Calum, taking silly selfies with you, singing your name funnily through the microphones whenever he was recording a part. Calum writing a song about you, albeit a twenty second bass line with your name and your personality the lyrics.

Luke had written you songs. Of course he had. He hadn’t shared them, but still. Why won’t you jump up from your spot on the floor, wrap your arms around his neck, kiss his cheek?

Why won’t you look to him when you’re cold, take his hoodie instead of Calums? Why wont you get a ride from him to the restaraunt for dinner? Why won’t you ruffle his hair, call him your best friend, wrap your arm around his bicep in a drunk haze? Why won’t you ask him for help on a specific song lyric?

Maybe you did these things with him a few times, but you won’t let it last long, as if you were purposefully pulling away. Luke didn’t want you to. He wanted to wrap his hoodie around you, pull on the sleeves, pull you into his chest. He wanted to grip your thigh, dance in the drivers seat as you bounced in the passenger side, hair fluffing in the wind. He wanted to steal a kiss when you stood on your toes to ruffle his hair, call you his girlfriend, not just his friend, carry you in his arms when drunk, write love songs with. Entire albums.

Why won’t you love him? He wanted to love you.

He wrote a song that night, a sad song with an upbeat tempo so he could disguise himself from the tears. A song about running, something he couldn’t wait to do when this was over. About letting the sky carry him to home, to actual good things he could have. Away from you and your stupid beautiful light.

In the moments when Luke was longingly staring after you, you were forcing yourself. You forced yourself towards Calum, made your heart gravitate to his own. At first, you knew you were using him when you asked for rides, held onto him, leaned close so he could smell your perfume.

He saw past the charade, sat you down for dinner, forced you to spill your guts. After that, you weren’t purposefully making Calum like you. After that, you were becoming close with Calum, using his friendship to make your aching heart feel better. You didn’t even know Luke was hurting in the first place. You were afraid to admit that he was the one you were talking about, scared he’d be weirded out or confused. So, you said Calums name.

You had your own moments. Lukes laugh when you told him a story from high school, when Michael was caught playing video games instead of writing, when Ashton would pick you up and slam you down on the couch. His eyes, lighting up when he finished a lyric, plucked a particularly satisfying chord on the guitar.

His smile. His smile when he said good morning, good night, and goodbye. His smile when you showed him a new dress you bought, his smile when you wore it the next day. His smile when you told him you bought a couch, his smile when he helped you set it up. His smile when you finished unpacking and told him excitedly. His grin when you told him you burned the last photo of your ex, when you sent his clothes to Goodwill. His grin when he saw your phone on a Pinterest hair style, when he said it would look pretty on you, when you wore it the next day proudly.

You wrote a song that night, a sad song about unrequited love. Slow piano music highlighted its soft notes. It wasn’t a song for anybody but you, something to get you through it all when this was over. When you wouldn’t see Calum, let alone Luke, when you were done.

They would forget about you. He would forget about you. You were sure of it.

If only your compability would help you turn your faces, so he could see those eyes light up, and you could see that smile.

TAG LIST: @oopsiedoopsie23

#luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings #5sos imgaines #5sos blurb #5sos fam #5sos x you #5sos x reader #5sos fanfic #5sos fluff

167 notes · View notes

hazelenergy · 4 years ago

Text

How I Digitally Paint like a Scenic Artist/Designer

Aka: how I did this and put my degree to good use.

LONG POST WARNING

Step 1: Research.

First off, get to your image search. If you are going to be using Google, you may want to type “-pinterest” in the search to eliminate the countless boards.

I had to figure out clothing that is vaguely late 1800s. I found a multitude of reference images that were fancier clothes- but I wanted to find images of clothing for kindred across all social classes. Photographs from the era and paintings are your friend. They will more accurately showcase what was worn.

After Fashion research comes location research. The 1890s in America is known for the rapid industrialization. Factories were getting bigger and work days were getting longer. But, I wanted the moonlight to be cascading into the place, illuminating the scene. This means I needed to find a structure that had skylights or let sunlight in. And the best images I found? Slaughterhouses. Fitting, huh?

The same rule for fashion still stands- if you can find photographs or paintings from the era- they’re better. There are tons of places still standing today from the 1800s. But today, they look WAY different. Ya know, Abandoned! So just be sure to take this into consideration if you search “abandoned slaughterhouses” or go trespassing like I did.

Lastly, pose research. Finding the poses for a fight scene can be tedious. So, I enlisted some help from a few fight choreographers and stunt men. You can record their fights and play them back at quarter or half speed. You can also get a mirror and flop on the floor a bunch. I did both. This lets you see the action/motion lines you are going to replicate in the drawing. Heres how we initially did fina’s pose:

And sometimes you have to go back and get a clean shot. I ended up using this pose for the axe.

Step 2: Set up and Background!

When you open a new file, set it to the dimensions and resolution you want. I was working at 600. Usually, I’m working at 300-350. You can always reduce resolution. Its hard to prevent fuzzy lines if you increase it later.

I cannot stress the following enough:

You work background to foreground. Big Shapes and areas to little shapes. Work your way forward. What this means is you need to fill in as much space as possible first. Then build your details. I prefer working as follows: Big Solid tones, Soft shadows, Dark Shadows, Highlights, then final blend. Once you finish this, put an overlay on top. This knocks everything back and helps create the illusion of depth. See this at work with the video below or here

Step 3: Figure Drawings + Composition

Utilize that research and images you collected to pose your characters. I create subfolders for each set of figures. Organization is important here. This will help keep you on the right layer and prevent the eternal digital artist struggle of “Fuck that was on the wrong layer!”

Even after you move on to lineart and shading, Keep the sketch layer as a reference. You may need to see what youre original notes/ figures looked like as you do the lineart and shade. Don’t be afraid to move them around and alter the composition rn. You want to be able to make changes. Make notes! Detail light sources!

I’m about to through out some art jargon:

You want to think about asymmetric balance. The easiest way to achieve this in an eye-pleasing manner is to use the Fibonacci spiral. Yeah. This boi:

Place your figures and actions in a similar sequence to the spiral and the viewer’s eye tends to naturally follow it. This is sometimes called the Golden Ratio in the art world.

Doesn’t need to be perfectly on the spiral. You can break it- but its an excellent tool to plan how things move in the piece.

Step 4: Lineart

Once you got things sketched- its time to do the lineart. I’m using clip studio paint’s standard brushes. Nothing fancy. I often switch between the G-pen and the For Effect Liner. Mapping and Turnip are for thicker lines.

Usually I set these pens to a specific thickness depending on where I’m drawing.

My background figures are lined at 0.05 thickness, the midground is .1 to .2, Fina is .3 and the foreground is .4. I set my stabilization high to help keep my lines smooth. Stabilization 100 means there’s a significant delay between where the pen is and the cursor. I like the stabilization to be at 20 for freehanding and at 50 ish for outlining. Dont become completely reliant on the stabilization though. Good and smooth lineart is drawn from the arm not the wrist. Your range of motion is severely limited if you only move your wrist. Practice moving from your elbow and you’ll be surprised how much smoother your lines get.

Once I finish lining the figures, I usually go around it with an outline. This does three things:

1. Solidifies the figure and cleans lineart for paint bucket tool. More on that in the next step.

2. Its a stylistic choice. Helps give it that comic book feel with a heavy outline.

3. Pushes figures forward or back in the composition. Thicker outline helps denote that a figure is farther forward than another. My background figures have no outline to push them away

Step 5: Digitally coloring

For each figure you are going to select outside the lineart.

Create a new layer under the lineart

Invert the selection. Paint bucket. You should now have a solid shape of the figure under the lineart. Do not deselect.

Create a new layer above the one color. Title it solid colors. Paint in thick, solid tones. I like to use the mapping pen and turnip pen to color in my solid tones: skin, clothing, hair, etc.

After that, deselect. Create a multiply layer if you can. If your program does not have a multiplier function, Pick a tone you want to use for shadows and lower the opacity (usually 30-40% I like to use lavenders or blue tones). It will not be as vibrant, but you can edit it in post. Select off of the solid colors layer. I like to start with skin tones. Use the airbrush tool to create soft shadows. You don’t want to create harsh lines on this layer.

Then repeat this process with harsh lines.

Then knock it all back with an overlay. If you dont have the ability to create an overlay, you can again drop a solid color and lower the opacity, but you’ll have to mess with the color balance/ brightness/contrast to let all the hard work come through.

You’re going to repeat this for every single figure. Here’s a few color theory tips though.

Your overlay colors should be darker (not more vibrant) in the foreground and lighter (avoid using pure white) in the background. This helps with the depth of the piece. Things closer tend to be darker (not always true, depends on lighting)

You can choose to use color theory to aid your shadows. Instead of choosing black or grey for shadows, choose a complimentary color. I used a lot of green for this piece, I used red for really dark shadows. Its not that black drains color- its just loses some depth if not used carefully.

Keep your colors consistent. Helps unify the piece. You can strategically break the consistency to draw focus. For example, Fina is the only figure with a true blue overlay. This helps her stand out from the other figures who have reds and greens.

Step 6: Touch Ups and Final Renderings

Now comes the most tedious part. If you’re like me, your computer fans have been whirring for the last few hours trying to render this monster of a file. If you havent already, SAVE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD

These are the last four layers I have for the entire piece. Here, I am trying to create effective and believable lighting. This kind of work I have only been able to achieve in clip studio or photoshop. You can do it with normal layers, but choose your colors CAREFULLY. Stay away from pure white. Carefully utilize your knowledge of light and shadow to create soft highlights. Harsh lines tend to be a stylistic choice for me. The final layer, subtract, dulls out harsh red tones. I used this as a final overlay to help put everyone and everything in the scene. Without it, things are a little too green and skin tones are a little too blushed for vampires.

The challenge here is I want to tone down the red, but not lose the vibrancy of the blood. So, shift it to a blue. This also helped reinforce the “nighttime” effect. Its only a slight change.

Final thoughts:

Whenever you finish something, its important to reflect.

1. I am so FUCKING PROUD OF MYSELF. This is easily one of the most complicated pieces I’ve done in a while- and I’ve made 16′ tall faux stained glass. Brag. Let yourself feel awesome cuz you just made something awesome.

2. I timed myself on the piece. I could have easily spent another 7 hours on it. But its important to know when to stop messing with it. Partially for budget reasons but also when you get down to the details you can make yourself go insane. Theres also a ton of detail work I lost cuz of overlays or its just too small to notice. Fina’s face? hard to see cuz its not close enough.

3. I needed to take frequent breaks for this piece. That was good. Resting and stretching was very important. That is one of the reasons why I was able to work so fast.

4. I started doing more digital art in April 2020. I have to say, practice makes perfect. I practice drawing and digital painting for at least 3 hours a day.

That discipline has allowed me to improve so rapidly. So- I don’t wanna hear shit about I can’t possibly get this good! Or I couldn’t even draw a stick figure! BULLSHIT. You can. Get yourself some free software like Krita or Autodesk sketchbook and start playing!

And thats what I got! Thanks for coming with me on this long post!

#digital art #my art #okay to reblog #how to #long post

27 notes · View notes

theravencawsatmidnight · 5 years ago

Text

On the Prowl... Pt Four

A fantasy AU

NSFW!!!!!

Warnings: breeding kink.

A/N.Phew this was fun to write up. Thank you for reading. I hope ya’ll are ready for whats to come. All parts can be found under the Ontheprowl tag!

Bakugo was walking back to the den with you over his shoulder ocsssionally nipping at youre thigh with a smile on his face. You kept having fashbacks to the events that had happened. Each step Bakugo took and each nip made youre vision split for a second . You were positive you could still hear Chizome’s words in youre head.

“Im so lucky i get to breed you first...”

Bakugo nipped you again and it brought you back to youre shaking state. You saw Shoto and Chizomes paws following behind Bakugo . Their steps heavy and scary . Glancing up you saw both of them staring at you . Shoto looked like his normal reserved self and not that feral mess you saw before. Chizome was licking the air as if he could taste you. You had to think of something. There had to be a reason the pregnancies were failing. If you could figure it out and convince them then -“ you were dropped on the ground.

Quickly you sat on youre knees covering whatever you could . Shinso was looking down at you , he was sitting on a rock by the fire giving you an unimpressed look. A smile creeped up his fuzzy face.

“Welcome back~” he teased grinning. “So what happened. “

“Chizome almost bred her. Bakugo wants to mark her. But thats it.” Shoto said sitting by the fire.

Chizome leaned down licking youre face before walking away into the jungle .” Mmm , im going to hunt”

“Bakugo. You cant mark this one.” Shinso said

“Hahh?!?? And why not? Whats so special about this one?!?” Bakugo said sitting down by the fire .

Shinso ignored the angry lion and looked back down at you . “Shes so dirty, want a bath incubator?”

You said nothing.

“Im not asking again” his tail swayed in annoyance.

“...ok...”

Shinso got up picking you up in his arms . He nodded back at Shoto who yawned looking up at the rising sun. Bakugo had gotten up to dig threw some bones to chew.

You were trembling in Shinso’s arms . Hiding youre face in his fuzzy chest trying to image you were anywhere else. Even camp. You wanted to be back at camp.

Shinso put you in a lake gently and sat next to you, he cupped some water dumping it on youre head making you scream and cower. You splashed him and Shinso blinked , his tail swayed as he pawed his face. Shinso put his wet paw on youre bloody knee . It made you wince in pain .

Shinso rubbed the back of his neck watching you sink into the water so his other paw left youre knee. “Cmon im being gentle arent i? I promise i wont bite” he smiled, his fangs glowing in the rising sunshine.

You were still trembling . The water around you bouncing lightly . Youre voice was shaky when you finally spoke. “Youre not real..”

“Still on that? Arent you a researcher?” He leaned down purring in youre ear. “This is all very real.”

You jumped scooting away and Shinso smiled laying his tail down in front of you. He swayed it lightly on the water. You splashed water on youre face trying to ignore it. Slowly you turned away to wash up youre cuts and get rid of the blood. Shinso watched you try to get youre back and put his wet paw on it.

“Stop!!!” You turned covering youre chest seeing his happy face.

“You cant reach so i was helping.” He laid his tail on youre head

You shook it off sinking down into the lake untill just youre head was visible. “Why..”

“Hm?”

“You do not seem like them...”

“Would you prefer me having my way with you? Holding you down like a paperweight and violating you. ?”

“No.. please dont”

“This may shock you but “ he laid his tail on youre head again ”im actually nice”

You looked up at the wet tail. It was a dark purple and dripping water. Youre eyes traveled to him looking at his smug face.

“Kittens would be amazing in all honesty. But im not going to get them here. Not compatible.”

“.. compatible?” Very slowly youre hands rose out of the water to touch Shinso’s tail.

“Nope. The woman here are not healthy. They cant carry our kittens or pups”

“If you know this then why dont you stop them!?” You stood up covering youre chest.

“I cant convince them to leave. Only .. well. Heh thats not important” he smiled up at youre bruised body eyeing youre stomach. “You are not from here though. And you smell different.. nice even.”

You sat back down in the water with youre back to him. You were blushing , you felt it . What the hell? His tail floated over to youre front and you grabbed it squeezing it.

“Kinky.” He teased getting closer to you. Touching youre back again purring lightly.

You squeezed the tail again turning around to see him in the water with you. He flashed a smile at you holding his arm out. Something about him was.. different. He wanted kittens but he was not forcing you in anyway. He did not treat you like an incubator.

“Why.. why are you different? My notes say you travel alone usually . Youre not like them”

He smiled purring as he leaned over to pick you up and set you on his lap. His voice was calm and low. “Because making love feels nicer than forcing you .” He lifted you up and guided you down onto his heat sending you into a euphoric dizzy state.

“ wai- mmff...!!!!” It was hot... so hot... you stretched around him taking him all in. He sat you back down on his lap moving his paws to youre hips holding you in place.

Youre head was spinning. The size of him , the heat filling up inside you. The rush that went to youre head. How did you get here? Not even 6 hours ago you were saying these things werent real. And here you were now . Riding one as best you could. Youre breast bounced with each thrust up into you. Every grunt Shinso made rang in youre ears . You looked down at him to see his fangy smile.

While Shinso was thrusting up into you some thoughts crossed youre mind. You were a researcher , thats all. You were not suppose to do these kinds of things . Just a researcher from the city looking for her big break , the next big discovery . It would bring you millions, funding , equipment. Instead you got youreself into a mess of trouble thanks to youre ignorant selfish actions . Instead you were riding this beastmen , this panther. He filled every inch of you . You couldint go back to regular men now , something in youre mind . Clicked

You felt something. And it wasint just Shinso pulling you down to lick and kiss at youre swollen nipples. You felt something in youre mind , kittens. Kittens!!! Little kittens running around. Was he doing this? No . Magic does not exist... then .. how ? How was this making you so excited ?

Shinso licked from youre nipple to youre chest all the way up to youre face leaving a thick line of saliva on you. You managed to rub youre eyes so you could see clearly and you looked down at him. Youre breath heavy and youre pony tail long gone. Youre hair was everywhere and you did not care. He dug his claws into youre thighs grinning up at you with a smug face.

You tried to form words but youre tongue felt dry , like you didint have one anymore. Shinso slowed down to cup youre face. He spoke slowly.

“Yes ? Something on youre mind? Wondering how you got here?”

“I—“

“Well thats an easy one. You want to be bred. I just did it in a non violent way. What are you thinking about hm?” He slowed to a complete stop.

“Kkkk..kiii. Dont..-“

“Kittens? Dont stop? You want to be bred that bad? You want to be filled up with my seed so bad you cant even form words.”

“I—...” you bucked youre hips but Shinso held you in place tight.

You whined trying to get any kind of friction. Shinso just grinned up at you in total bliss. Youre insides were on fire and you were so close.. so close to youre release . It was building with each thrust and the moment Shinso stopped you felt it subside making you whine very loud.

“Oh?” He thrusted up once making you whine again. Please. Just a couple more. Thats all you needed. You wanted to feel it wash over you , youre body was shaking for it, for him.

Shinso placed a large paw on youre back with his claws out. He ran his paw down youre back and at the same exact moment he started to thrust again fast. Youre head fell back and you screamed in a mix of agony and relief. It was the strongest climax you ever felt . Youre whole body shudder in reactionand you fell onto Shinso’s chest half dazed. He dipped his arms in the lake before wrapping them around youre bloody back. You didint even care if it stung, or the fact that he marked you. He was going to give you kittens. Thats all you wanted.

Shinso started up again and it did not take long for him to release inside you. Youre eyes got very wide and you felt youre midsection swell up . Youre insides were full to the prim and Shinso was not pulling out anytime soon. He roared and it quickly turned into a yawn. He pet youre head and you nuzzled into his chest almost giggling. You were a giggling dizzy blissfull mess and thats just what he wanted.

#ontheprowl #hitoshi shinso #akaguro chizome #katsuki bakugo #shoto todoroki #shinso x reader #bakugo x reader #todoroki x reader #stain x reader #my hero academia class a #my hero academia #my hero academia fan fiction

148 notes · View notes

cheswirls · 4 years ago

Text

i had that surgery between posting abt tokrev and now n took a break from reading and so the first half of tenjiku arc is fuzzy BUT i did finish it today so heres an update, ~190 chapters in

ive been vague b4 but this one will DEF have spoilers im talking openly abt so if you havent finished tenjiku arc dont read anymoreeee

i think i started last time abt the emma ch so to start off this one w the emma ch bc. damn. i think besides being absolutely heartbreaking this cemented kisaki as not necessary the enemy, but as someone who has done wrong. kisaki has been the main villain this entire time, but i mentioned this last time, its different being told someone has done something vs seeing it. besides him n hanma beating up chifuyu, everything kisaki has done hasnt had any proof to it. even when he says something akin to ‘damn my plan is foiled’ its less admission when theres nothing to back it.

but emma changes that. now theres a homicide associated w kisaki. now theres a bad thing hes done right in front of the mc, and for all the viewers/readers to see. now hes equivocated w the death of emma.

i think emmas death matters for two reasons, and one more than the other. the first is the impact it has on mikey. its shown a few times now what death will do to him, like w shinichirou and baji, but w emma it hits different. im gonna contrast her and baji on both points, not to take away from baji’s death, but to add to emmas.

if im not mistaken a majority of baji scenes were only shown after his death. i think it worked and the valhalla arc was rly well structured, but what this left in turn was a sort of emptiness associated w baji dying. the readers didnt rly know him at all compared to some of the other toman captains, and it rly hadnt been shown yet wwhat his relationship w mikey was like. we see the effect it has in his rage towards kazu, and none of his grieving. even when at bajis grave, its chifuyu that gets a bigger focus than mikey. but w emma, it actively tears mikey up. he struggles to carry her to the hospital, hes visibly shaken when he tells takemichi shes grown cold, and hes absolutely dead inside when hina is crying at emmas corpse and drakon is yelling at him asking why he let it happen. it hits hard, and it shows, and it makes the impact that much harder, that she died in the past and theres no way tofix it. and the realization takemichi has right before, of ‘o yeah ive never seen grown emma come to think abt it’ then bam.

the second and much bigger point is the emotional impact is has on the reader. baji appears and is instantly a source of conflict. he outs himself from toman, he joins the enemy, he denounces chifuyu when questioned abt investigating kisaki. theres no reason to trust him n no reason to think he’ll turn back, and then only thing there is mikey saying he wants baji back.

emma had that amazing chapter not long before, and shes had a few focal points previously, like on her birthday, and on new years, etc. we’ve seen her as an individual first, then as mikey’s sister, and that makes a difference. seeing her even admitting izana was her brother rly hit different bc its emma, the emma that grew up w shin and mikey but had another life before that. that was the connection i kept making, even as izana explained he had more relation w shinichirou, bc it was mentioned by emma first, bc emma remembered him, after all those years. knowing izana was involved w her death made it hit harder. it hits harder in general bc its emma, someone whos been around since the beginning, and been explored more in depth. i felt sad when baji died, but i was destroyed and heartbroken when emma died.

which, going back, makes kisaki in turn absolutely despicable. deplorable. abhorrent. unforgivable. even more so when he shoots kaku, and then izana, thrice, and then izana dies. i still rly didnt. get? izanas motivations, but i started to feel for him thru mikey, when he realized it was izana shin meant when he asked abt a second older brother. kaku getting shot was unexpected and almost worse than emma in the moment, bc kisaki had a gun and even knives were kinda taboo weapons, guns were completely off the table, and he shot five times andinjured three people w every shot. im glad the tenjiku members that stayed behind told police abt kisaki bc the entire time he was running i was like um??? and even B4 that i was like hey no mikey you dont need to stay, yall jus nee to beat kisaki into submission n have him confess bc the gun is right there, the bullets are there, cmon now.

but then kisaki dies/????? the way its set up made me go crazy, thinkin someone did it purposely, but then the driver was a nobody, and then hes still alive after impact???? big surprise honestly. but then his arm n leg are emessed up, n he says he cant get up, n it took me a sec to realize he prolly lost coordination n not jus bc of one leg, like he prolly couldnt sit up at all, then he up n died rightthere.

b4 thattho, was the confirmation. i completely always thought kisaki wasnt a timeleaper, i thought takemichi made atheory but it was baseless, i didnt rly like it, and then the scene during the vs tenjiku when he says future stuff n kisakis like what?? are yiu talking abt??? BUT THEN then have their standoff in the same parking lot n kisaki says you are a timeleaper and i was like what? he can also??? but then he coudnt! he admitted, was like no in ever could, which means someone else is pulling strings if there is another timeleaper, andmy moneys on hanma, the only other one whos been around the whole time. maybe ill b surprised but i f its not him then theres not another one, imo.

kisaki dying caught me off guard. his whole ten year plan was absolutely nuts, ic ant believe he thought he could go up to hina n straight propose n she would say yes, like honestly would she even remember him at that point? regardless i knew from the cram school chapters that there was some connection there, but i didnt think hina dying was some jealousy-fueled hate revenge plot. wild. but now the “main” villain is dead so what goes from here? we willn see.

i am rly glad kaku made it out. tallying 3 deaths in the kanto incident was so confusing w emma being one of them but the reveal that kaku was alive was rly something. i hope more comes from him!! the setup between him n takemichi was rly rly nice!!!! i wanna see more

i am kinda sad abt coco, bc thesetup of takemichi protecting him from div5 was great, n inui is a permanant fixture in div1 now, so to see coco decide to split was kinda sad. hope he doesnt go down the wrong path. kinda expected to see more knowing how popular him n inui are?? but nontheless

and smiley and angry were so good!! souta and kawata are amazing and souta was not like what i was expecting at all, n now knowing that he cares a lot n is not rly a fighter but iss till in toman jus. rly speaks a lot abt mikeys judge of character n kawatas older brotherschtich that they would let him be vice of div4. seeing what kawata and mitsuya both did during tenjiku arc was rly nice.

and then hina telling drakon andmikey!!! surprised they believed, but it rly will mak things move now. for ex the gun scene where hes abt to shoot kisaki, rly ready to end it, but then hina n mikey rush in. i rly like that knowing that they both know this takemici is from the future, bc they panic but their faith in him isnt lost ,y’know? like they see him desperate, n drakon has a great line abt takemichi’s desperation, theyre not seeing their friend abt toshoot someone n freaking, n they wont judge his sense of character off of that,instead theyre seeing the desperation of someone who wants things to change, and know they can talk him out of it, or if not that then at least ,like, its not going to change what they think abt him. iunno jus. nice little detail i loved while reading that.

#i think thats it?#cant wait ot see whats next!#entering the current arc i think if theres around 210 chapters out now #ill post a final thoughts when im caught up !#ps if theres mistakes its bc my hand is giving out ignore them pls

2 notes · View notes

crows-murder · 4 years ago

Note

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?

Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

What is your most underrated fic?

What fic are you most proud of?

What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

What is the one fic that got away?

Have you cried while writing a fic?

If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future. (sorry for sending so many i really wanna know)

(no don’t worry it’s perfectly okay! i had fun answering all of them 😊)

1. what was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

ah. okay, so the first fandom i wrote and published for was Voltron, though i will never give away what the pairing was. i was 14 and it was on Wattpad, the rest is forbidden knowledge

2.do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? if so, what do you like about them?

i recently participated in a few events and challenges, and honestly, they were a lot of fun! i’d have to say that what i like about them is that i get to get out of my comfort zone and push my limits.

3. do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

well. uh, no.

sometimes i do write whole fics in one sitting, but usually it takes me a day or two, and i have more than one WIP doc open because my brain needs to switch fics when it gets bored, so to speak. i just need to jump around to avoid losing interest in a story

4. do you outline before you start writing? if so, how far do you stray from that outline?

if it’s a multi-chapter fic, then yes. if i don’t have a clear ending or goal, then the story can and will drag on and on and on lol. sometimes i’ll stray from my outline, since it’s not really a strict set of directions for me to follow, more of something to guide me. very often, my story won’t exactly resemble my outline.

5. what is the perfect environment for you to write in?

late at night with a steaming cup of tea or coffee, or just an energy drink, wrapped in my fuzzy blanket with instrumental music playing.

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

writing

/hj. idk i guess i’d have to say finding the right word when i forget it. or another super annoying thing is that sometimes i have the perfect word in french, and i need to find a good translation for it, but the english version of the word just doesn’t feel the same as the original. that’s very annoying lol.

10. do you enjoy dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

dialogue. i tend to stray from the plot and i always struggle with exposition, but i absolutely love writing dialogue.

11. if you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

angst. no questions. i need to hurt my characters because i love them.

12. is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

enemies to lovers. i don’t have any actual WIPs with that specific trope, but i do really want to write it one day lol.

13. is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

alpha/beta/omega. i fully support my writer friends who write it, but sadly i will never write it. it bothers me a little too much rip. i’d rather never write again than write it.

16. what is your most underrated fic?

um. personally, i think that this fic from my urban fantasy AU was really not popular lol. i kinda see why, since its pure fluff and from an AU that is a personal indulgence lol

17. what fic are you most proud of?

okay this Jayroy fic from my bad things happen bingo is definitely one of the ones i’m very proud of. idk, i just like it? i can’t explain why i’m proud of it, but i am.

18. what is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

i decided to cheat a little and i’ll be using a line from a WIP instead. and the commentary’s gonna be written bc i can

It was a mission report. Bruce had told him it was fine if he finished it tomorrow.

Tim could finish it tonight. (tim you absolute walnut SLEEP)

He was perfectly capable of doing what Bruce asked him. (not when you’re sleep deprived, idiot) He wasn’t Dick. he certainly wasn’t Jason. But he could still work diligently and without mistake. He could be better. (aw bby you dumb idiot child you dont need to be better)

Tim stared at the person standing in the hallway, eyes narrowed and mug in one hand. He knew for a fact that it took longer than twenty-seven hours of no sleep to start hallucinating. (I BANISH YOU TO SLEEP JAIL YOU UNRULY GREMLIN)

But that was the only reason Tim could fathom the Red Hood standing in the kitchen of Titans Tower at half-past three in the morning. (and that’s valid. i too would think i’d be hallucinating lmao)

Red Hood approached Tim slowly. “You have a lot of nerve wearing that uniform.” (jason please LET. THAT. GO.)

Tim glanced down at his rumpled gray shirt and flannel pajama bottoms. (i laughed writing this. i laughed a lot)

He should be more alarmed that the Red Hood clearly knew he was Robin without the mask, but Tim was too tired and he was going to have to push that freak-out to the next day. (me doing homework at 4am like)

19. who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? why?

this time i’ll go with the type of characters. the easiest character for me to write is definitely the one character i relate to the most/ my comfort character because of course, i know them more than any other character and to some level understand their character. the hardest character to write is probably one i don’t really know or one who doesn’t have a lot of character development or there isn’t much info about them. i’ll still write them, but i’ll be making up a lot of stuff lol.

20. what’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

hmm. i haven’t written many side characters, but i did love writing Dana Winters. she’s very cool and i like her a lot.

21. what is the one fic that got away?

it might just be me but im struggling a bit with what this could mean, so i’m going to assume it means that one fic that didn’t go where i expected it to (if that’s not what you meant, feel free to send me an ask correcting me lol)

so i’d have to say its the second part of this 2 chapter fic i wrote because a lot of people were asking for more cuddles in the first part. i was not expecting writing another fic specifically for fluff, but here we are.

22. have you cried while writing a fic?

definitely during that one major character death fic i wrote. i wrote the aftermath of the character’s death and i was crying while writing it lmao.

i was crying so much writing the ending for this

23. if you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

i wrote a sort of road trip birdflash au that i wouldn’t mind seeing as a remix

30. tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

i’m actually writing a longfic right now. i don’t even know where i got the idea from, but it’s basically a batfam no capes AU where they all practice magic instead and it’s set in 1927.

here’s the ask game! send me an ask! (or more than one, i don’t mind)

#long post #ask game #fic writer ask game #ghost answers #ghost writes

3 notes · View notes

violetnotez · 5 years ago

Text

Shopping Trip HC- Kirishima x Reader

@fxndxmxnxce!:Hi! i just saw your blog but you already look so good😍 could i get a request where kirishima and his s/o go out to get groceries for cook dinner for their classmates? they goof off; riding around in carts, taking random samples of food, and even recite vines while they look for ingredients🥺 just a lot of tooth rotting fluff because why not :D bonus todoroki gives them endeavor’s card (in which he stole) to let them pay for the stuff tonight LMAOO thanks i love you🥰🥰🥰

ACK MY FIRST REQUEST THANK UUU! I love getting requests ngl :) I made this into a HC hope you dont mind!

Kirishima x reader

Genre: OVER LOAD of Fluff

Word Count:

Warnings: Choatic Energy throughout

(RULES | MASTERLIST COMING SOON| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

----------------------------

It was the week before exams and everyone was beginning to cram big time

Everyone was in the common room, every surface covered in textbooks and notes from the semester

Izuku, Ochaco, Iida, Froppy, Ojiro, and Toru were on the training grounds practicing for the practical exams- Todoroki was studying on the couch

Momo was giving all of Bakusquad (including you) a huge study session that made all of your heads hurt (minus Bakugo- he wouldnt be caught dead studying with a bunch of ‘idiots’)

All of you were exhausted- you had been going at this since 9 in the morning at it was already close to dinner time

Kirishima had his head resting in your lap, you playing with his fire red hair as Momo rambled about Geometry, while Kaminari and Sero tried desperately to take notes as fast as Momo talked

Mina had given up an hour ago and was now standing in front of the fridge

“Ughhhhh”, she whined, “we have no fooooooood.”

“Cmon Mina we got like a hour to dinner you can wait!” Kaminari said while writing like his life depended on it (which it kinda did- he was borderline passing his classes as it was- if he failed these exams he was screwed)

“Oh be quiet Kaminari your the one who eats all the food half the time!” Mina yelled frustrated

When Mina’s hangry- she is HANGRY

“Dont blame this on me- my quirk isnt the one that depends on eating to work!”

“If your trying to imply Im the one who ate all the food then you are completely wrong!” Momo spat out at Kaminari, kinda looking hurt

“Can you all keep it down-Im trying to read,” Todoroki interjected calmly, not even looking up from his book

To be honest, all of you forgot Todorki was even in the room, so it kind of threw you all off

“Hey-why dont me and y/n just go pick up some food! The market’s not too far away” Kirishima sat up, his hair in odd angles from you combing it with your fingers

You knew what he was doing- he had zoned out too, and he just wanted a way to leave the study session, but he was too polite to actually leave it (for Momo’s sake- she got way too excited over study sessions)

You yawned, stretching from sitting for so long- “thatd be nice, Id like to stretch my legs a little.”

Kaminari shrugged, “Sure why not- not like were going anywhere, mind as well get some snacks-”

You started making a list of everything everybody wanted and it was long- Kaminari and Sero were shouting out everything fattening, from Takis to Twinkies to 2 liter sodas, Mina yelled she wanted a bunch of sweets like Pocky, Momo was a little healthier but she wanted more expensive things like sushi, and Kirishima wasnt helping since he wanted to buy everything for everybody

You two started adding up stuff in your head and you knew for sure there was no way you could pay for all this, even if everyone chipped in

You gave Kirishima a look, letting him know that this wasn't going to work- somebody had to help you two out or ask for a little less

He knew you hated to let your friends down, so he smiled, letting you know he had it under control

“Uh, guys, we cant get so much food- this is way too much and we cant buy all this- can we maybe take something off the list?” kirishima asked as Kaminari and Mina began to whine

To your surprise, Todoroki walked over and handed you something. You looked down at it seeing it was a credit card.

You gasped slightly- “No Todoroki we cant take this this is yours-”

“I dont care what you do with it or how much you charge on it,” he said calmly, “as long as it makes you all quiet.”

“Of course- thanks man, we owe you one!” Kirishima smiled, grabbing your hand, pulling you up and shuffling you out the door

“Well you were desperate to leave, huh Kiri?” you kidded as you cuddled closer to him as you both walked to the store

“Anything to spend some alone time with you princess,” he smiled, kissing the top of your head, “Also.... I think my head was starting to hurt from listening to Momo- what even is a Pythagorean theoreom?!”

Oh Kiri you poor baby

You both get to the supermarket and the cute lovey dovey Kirishima disappears

He instantly gets super excited because FOOD

And carts

“Cmon y/n they have kiddie carts!”

“Kirishima no those are for kids!” you laugh, taking the cart from him gently

“Ahhh cmon babe please!!!”

You kiss him on the cheeck- “No Kiri sorry!” (he pouts tho)

You get one of the normal carts and he instantly stands on the back and holds on to the wired basket, forcing you to push him around

You shake your head, smiling, because he looks so cute just standing there having the time of his life as you push him around

“A Thousand Miles” comes over the speakers and you both look at each other with the most shocked but happy faces ever

-30 seconds later-

Your now on the back, Kirishima is pushing your around like a maniac, has knocked you into 3 stands of food already, but you dont care because your both laughing trying to sing the lyrics

“IF I COULD FALL INTO THE SKY” Kirishima practically shouts, holding a can of whip cream like a microphone

“DO YOU THINK TIME COULD PASS ME BY!” you sing after

“BECAUSE I WOULD WALK A THOUSAND MILES JUST TO SEE YOU!” you both shout out, getting some dirty looks from a pair of old ladies at the meat section (which you could care less about)

You both look at each other and just start busting up, Kirishima taking you to the next aisle

You get to the candy section, where Kirishima is still laughing over the old ladies’ glares at you two

You kinda calmed down, going back to the task at hand, picking out all the candies Mina had asked you to get her

He then sees a bag of Life Savers

PLS TELL ME SOMEBODY REMEBERS THIS VINE

“Hey y/n-” he taps your shoulder, giggles barely being contained from him

You turn around, a grinning Kiri holding a bag of Life Savers

“Le-fes Sa-ve-airs”

You roll your eyes, giggling, “Oh my gosh Please Kiri no more vines!”

“Oh calm on vines are so awesome!” he exclaims, putting the bag of candy back in its original space

“Yes but I think we’ve annoyed enough people with our vine references”

“Only two old ladies!”

“Two old ladies that will probably get us kicked out” you laughed, giving him a kiss

“Lets just get the food so we can go back to the dorms- Im getting kind of hungry seeing all this food…”

“Wait, youre hungry?!?” he asks super concerned

“Just a little,” you shrug off, “its no big deal-”

“WAIT HERE” Kirishima practically yells, seemingly not hearing what you said and runs off

You shake your head, knowing your boyfriend too well- he could get impulsive sometimes

You got all the food and was waiting in the checkout line when you spotted Kirishima trying to balance a bunch of small, clear cups in his hands

“Are those--- samples?!” you asked, shocked that he went around the WHOLE store getting all those samples

“Yep!” he says super proud, happy he was helping his girlfriend

“Oh my gosh Kiri I love you, you know that, right?” you exclaim happily, your stomach growling as you began to eat out of one of the cups

KIRISHIMA.exe is BrOkEn

If he knew food would get you so happy he would have brought you WAY more food A LOOOOOOONG time ago

You got to the check out and the price- was- ALOT

You gulped, hoping the rumors of Todoroki being extremely rich were true

And thank the gods they were because you were able to pay for the food no problem

Then you realized- you had 10 bags full of food you had to lug back to the dorms

And it was close to a 15 minute walk

You started picking up bags, already feeling the weight of them after 3

“I got them, don't worry babe!” Kirishima gingerly took the bags from your hands and began to strap them across his arm

‘Wait Kiri no theres alot you can't hold all-”

Kirishima put a kiss on your cheek, instantly making your cheeks warm

“Its okay I can carry them!” He smiled, making your insides all fuzzy

How did you get such a cute boyfriend?

“At least let me hold 2!”

You literally had to claw two bags away from him because he refused to let you hold any because it wasnt “manly” for his girlfriend to have to hold a bunch of heavy bags by herself

The walk back was a breeze, Kirishima seemingly unbothered by the weight and you two both enjoyed the sunset coming down against the mountains

When you finally got back, all your classmates were there, everyone in their pajamas and on the floor

All the notes and books had been replaced by pillows and blankets and everyone was in their lounge or sleep wear

“Oh hey ya two love birds, you got the food!” Kaminari yelled out happily, wearing pajamas with lightning bolts on them

“Hey Pikachu,” you laughed, “and yes, we got your food,” throwing him a bag of chips (which he devoured instantly like an animal)

“Why is everyone in their pajamas?” Kirishima asked, putting the bags on the kitchen counter

Mina came over and hugged you, so happy you got her snacks as Uraraka made a pillow float in the air

“We all decided were going to hang out and build a huge pillow fort and have a sleepover!” Uraraka exclaimed excitedly, Froppy and Momo helping her place the pillows inside the fort

“Awesome!” Kirishima shouted excitedly, “Cmon, y/n, lets go get changed!”

He grabbed your hand, Kaminari and Sero making whistle sounds at you two as Kirishima pulled you up stairs

You shook your head, a blush coming on your cheeks

“When did they get so interested in us?” you asked, your face turning red from those dumb whistles

“Dont worry about them babe,” Kirishima said soflty, “their just jealous that i have somebody as amazing as you.”

BONUS

“So,” Ochaco asked, snacking on a cookie, “how were able to pay for all this food?!”

“Yeah, you guys must have spent a fortune,” Tsuyu added

“It was Todoroki,” you explained, “he was nice enough to let us pay for it on his credit card- again Todoroki, thank you for letting us pay for all this!”

Kirishima agreed, his hand wrapped around your waist, “We totally owe you a favor- if you ever need anything, come to us!”

Todoroki nodded in thanks

“Your all welcome”, he replied calmly, “but that credit card wasnt mine-”

“It was my father’s.”

You instantly choke on the soda you were sipping on, Kirishima patting your back to keep you from choking

“Wait-” you gasped out, “We SPENT 500 DOLLARS OF FOOD ON ENDEAVOR’S-PERSONAL-CREDIT CARD?!”

“WHY WOULD EVEN GIVE US THAT CARD IF IT WASN'T EVEN YOURS MAN?!” Kirishima shouts, fear evident in his voice

To say the least, the night just got 10 times more stressful as you and Kirishima were terrified that the #1 Hero was going to come and rip you to shreds for using his money to buy snacks

Requests open!!!!

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #kirishima #kirishima x reader #mha kirishima x reader #mha kirishima #kirishima imagine #kirishima hc x #kirishima hc #bnha kirishima #bnha kirishima x y/n #kirishima fluff #bnha kirishima x you #bnha kirishima x reader #mha kirishima fluff #mha kirishima x you #mha kirishima hc #mha kirishima x y/n

148 notes · View notes