#i dont know why but they mostly dancing in my arts

[kesharik]

Dancing alt. versions under the cut

[koszmarnybudyn]

Working on the dndads and steven universe au, so here is gothcleats/carnelion.

Link is a jasper and scary is an amethyst.

This design might change since this is still a work in progress but i like it so far :)

Also transparent backround version:

[ribcagewolf]

tw ed :[ sowwy

[unity-obj]

“If you stay a bit longer, you'll have the blast of your life— or should I say.. THE AFTERLIFE!“

THE TIME HAS COME! Today marks the day of the DEAD. Play the music and dance until you're dead!

· The Song of The Dead!

- Also know as:

· La canción de los muertos

· "死者の歌" - Inspired by COCO :3

Please use #The Song of The Dead if you wanna join <3

Welcome! The afterlife fully embraces your lively arrival!

Due to some mishap, some of the students ended up in.. none other than the AFTERLIFE! But, this afterlife doesn't seem to be like the way they thought it would be? Why do you need to be scanned to check inside.. But all you need to focus on is HOW TO ESCAPE! No matter how enticing the desire is to dance and sing with the skeletons!

The only way to escape is to join a musical contest of showing art in different forms! While at the same time, resisting the magic that will slowly turn you into a spirit!

CARDS BACKGROUND!!:

(tbh you can choose between the one with the bone foreground or the one without it— I prefer if you use the one with the bones lol)

I had a painful time trying to think of a design for the background so save me some slack, it's horrible

INSPO!!:

(From Pinterest)

I just wanna say that when doing your designs— I do want you to include body/face paint like this

And I also wanna add that, The arms/fingers of your character should be slowly turning into a skeleton (as it's part of the story)

The part that's turning into a skeleton has more opaque skin!! Just wanna point it out before you join my silly event

Your character MUST have some sort of music/art related object nearby (guitars, violins, paint brushes, etc) or anything that can be expressed in terms of art (which is a lot but I mostly focus on Music and Art)

IM SO SORRY IF YOU DONT GET MY EXPLANATION— please send me a reply if you're confused lol

I don't have a lot of specific color palettes but I do want you to include the color orange in there and some bright colors! But you know, in the end it's you making your designs, not me (but Please don't stray too far from the inspo bc I wanna keep it near COCO's aesthetics!)

CHARACTERS:

Canon:

💀 AZUL

💀 EPEL

💀 IDIA

💀 KALIM

[stitchpunk1]

YO GUESS WHOS HERE TO TALK ABOUT HAZBIN FANKID OCS BITCHES!

Yeah Ive been wanting to do this for a bit but been super fucking lazy. Got some other fandom ones too I wanna talk about but what with Hazbins first season ending wanna talk about mine with a few tweaks I've done plus one I forgot to add in the last one. I will put this one under spoilers sense the eps just came out and now I have to change shit around till season two for a few of them.

First I have Lucy(used to be Mara and cliche name I know but i like it). She is Charlie and Vaggies kid and named after her grandpa(who spoilers her fucking ROTTEN). Kinda got a design in my head for her that goes with a lamb/goat theme because she is half demon and half angel. Shes got charlies blond hair but more in Vaggies short style and its slightly curly. Shes also got the little hooves, sheep ears and eyes are that horizontal goat type. Like before she is still an absolute artist and loves doing bigger art installations around hell. She ends up dating Husks daughter Heather when they get older.

Second we have Isabella who is by blood Angel and Alastors daughter but her other dad is Husk and sister is Heather. Still got the same design for her that shes a bit more centaur deer like. Shes got the ears(and tail because I'm not giving that headcanon up) of Alastor but with Angels color scheme and fur and kinda a mix of spider claws/hooves(trying to picture her like head/hair in my mind has been a BITCH trying to not just think of it as a carbon copy of Angel). Recently she has become absolutely fucking unhinged as a child in discussions with Musekicker. She is 100% a cannibal and loves to take bites out of people out of pure curiosity of how they taste(leading to many many child leashes that she usually manages to chew her way out of). I like to think that she becomes popular on the hell version of tiktok with cottagecore vibes with a mix of her cannibalism. Dunno why but I like to think that if Alastor sheds his antlers she collects them and makes them into headbands she wears(also uses them to stab people).When older she ends up dating Moxxie and Millies daughter Mable.

Heather is just Huskys by blood and a one night stand but after becoming a couple with Angle and Alastor they become her parents too and Isabella her sister. Every time I think of her design all I can picture is something like Sawyer from Cats Dont Dance. Shes mostly white with a bit of her dads dark grey. Her face all around is just a pure resting bitch face even if she isnt mad or in a bad mood("its literally just my face" is something she has to say a lot). Her biggest secret is how much she LOVES to sing especially musicals and wants to be a stage performer but she thinks she could never make it. She does start to try out in school or any local theater productions thanks to Lucys encouragement. I like to think that after quitting Mammon that even Fizz sometimes does shows for fun and he kinda mentors her after seeing her talent.

Two more to go! Vea is Val and Voxs little accident that they just decide to keep around. She looks mostly like a moth demon but more bluish and sometimes has a little bit of electricity that goes between her antenna. Shes pretty powerful as she can sometimes match Voxs powers if he say fucks around and locks electronics or tv channels. She ends up not exactly running away from home but just kind of wandering away as her parents pay her little to no mind. She ends up at the hotel and kinda taken in by everyone after they learn her story. She ends up becoming the hotels electrician and is fucking terrified of Niffty.

Lastly is one I forgot on my last post who I am not sure what to do with her after the last episode. Her name is Pia and she is Pen and Arackniss kid. Body type she looks mostly like Niss with a little snake tail but she can go full naga like with extra arms/legs when she wants. She has a hood/hair like Pen and is insanely venomous(took me like ten tries to fucking spell that right) do to being half snake/spider. If Pen is in heaven whenever these kids are around she is raised by Niss who stays around the hotel more to take care of her/keep her from his father(who you know is a fucking prick). When he isnt around Angel takes care of his niece. Shes mostly quiet and keeps to herself but she loves weapons of all kinds, being an absolutely crack shot with most firearms.

[sempsimps]

Gregory Violet head cannons + NSFW

Season 4 of black butler has me thinking about a certain emo (Gregory not ceil but check out my friend @serve-corps if your into that) but like omfg he's so fine what for and like man wears lipstick I just he's so adorable I've never wanted to own the manga more in my life he's so- I should stop but like aaaaaa so this is head cannons mixed with actual cannon that was on the fandom wiki so that's fun I was thinking of writing a full story later but for now....

this is head cannons, and at the bottom, I'll have a warning for my nsfw thoughts. lol, just remember you're responsible for your Internet consumption, but before i get into this, it's all my opinions. Don't take it as gospel or anything like that, im having fun, alright? okay then.

Little head cannons

-he likes poetry. He gives that vibe like come on...(literally an hour later) Okay, so like, just seen a manga page of him drawing a jabberwocky around ceil like a sleep paralysis demon. a little back story on this particular poem is "a nonsensical poem about the killing of the jabberwocky" in 1871, apparently. this is very relatable to ceil and Gregory alike and like Google it for real (so like I was completely right about that and I didn't even know)

he smells like a mix of charcoal and acrylic paint like dusty but kinda nice, ya know (i go back to this further down)

-why dose he seem like he has autism, i cant explain it but, i have it to, so I'm not trying to be rude, but the bowtie he wears is like a normal tie but looser and nicer. and i hate ties, so i feel that in my soul. he also seems like he wouldn't like synthetic material idfk. also social situations suck, his voice is mostly monotone and quite, its not the typical "not understanding cues or not getting jokes" but its more like a social anxiety thing, and that's usually diagnosed with autism i think? (I'm not a doctor i don't really know. Maybe I'm projecting here a little)

-he's like defo bi or pan or perhaps an ace group. I'm not that educated on that lgbtq+ aspect apologies but that's the vibe (again, that's my opinion)

Dating head cannons male or female [brackets if pointed to someone with tits lol]

-bones. Need I say more? I like bones and rocks soooo be like, otters give him a bone (not like that-) or rocks he strikes me as a rock guy like smooth ones. idk how, but just get one he deserves it.

-painting dates if you struggle, he can easily guide you through it, his hand gently moving to help you use the right brush stroke. he's clearly more skilled in pencil/charcoal works, though we haven't seen much else [that takes skill and I take art like damn that's difficult]

-So apparently the sun and dancing makes him dizzy (it was on the fandom wiki) so definitely have water on hand and well he doesn't seem like the type to like anything plain becuse of the drink mixing so water is a no go to boring and i get that so grab one of those ball tea infusers and make flavoured water he can put the flavours in it like idk lemon slices and let it sit in the water maybe add suger (wait thats just flat lemonade lol whatever I'm a genius ik don't flatter me)

-stolen hoodie? Nah, stollen emo robe looking ass. it seems everyone in purple house has one, and well, yall could swap, or ya know, just wear his. if he has another obvious man is never seen without it, it could be a comfort for him. but like, he seems like he would have a bigger one, and it would smell so nice like charcoal and acrylic paint (that i mentioned earlier). Don't question it, but you can smell that, right? but there's a hint of passion fruit becuse he's trying for you (aw how cute) you can not tell me he doesn't like perfume and like its either passion fruit or cola adjacent like i know it probably wasn't around at the time but like you can see it (maybe i based this on a meme i found but shush)

-you paint each others nails need i say more? and even if you dont like/want to, he would just like to take time off with you to do his own or you do his. oh my god, I just remembered he wears eyeliner the same thing, but he likes you doing it. For some reason, you're better at it, and he doesn't want panda eyes.

-sneaking out at late to hide behind the boarding house, to just chill or chat, looking at the stars. It's a nice area, but yall gotta dodge the house master most of the time. Still, a little thrill never hurt nobody, just maybe given a Y or two if you're caught.

-hiding in your shoulder when the sun or people get too much to deal with. (I feel that so much)

-Gregory is a mix when it comes to pda. Overall, he doesn't like it could be a little overwhelming for him, but when yall with the other prefects, he might hold your hand, he's trying, and we love him for it.

-Gregory seems to observe his friends a lot, and so i think he truly values any relationships he has with anyone. on a whole, he usually draws people that are around him, like ceil, and i think i seen one of Lawrence. (idk i don't have the manga) so i think he would have a lot of sketches of you, be it in his work as doodles, or fully fledge charcoal drawings, maybe even a painting. but he values and enjoys being with you a lot.

-little snacks like fruit and chocolate almost like a picnic in the swan gazebo, but ya know not sharing with everyone unless Gregory wants to, also the fact your with the others in the swan gazebo is becuse, 1 your allowed to be there they've invited others before, 2 you get along with the prefects and drudges and they really don't care, 3 your either his drudge or the first two already applied before hand so you both seen no point in doing that.

okay, so i can't think of anything else wholesome to put down, and i just can't stop thinking, so now this is the warning I REPEAT NSFW BEOYNED THIS POINT!! ALSO HE IS 18-19 ACORDING TO GOOGLE

NSFW head cannons

- some general things, he's a switch or power bottom idk but i can see it so much he prefers you on top, though

-favourite body part would be chest. tits or not [but defo would love them so much like a stress toy] or the space between shoulder and neck, to hide in and bite....(he is a wolf lmao)

-right, so first off lipstick. oh my god... imagining it smeared in places and having prominent marks on your body made by him, like hickeys but removable. and like after he gives head, it would get so messed up on his face or you and just kissing him with it like that, getting some on your lips... (jesus, i need to touch grass)

-he likes art obviously, and well going back to the lipstick and hickeys, he wants to see what colour they turn, your like a brand new canvas just begging to be painted on by him, and honestly vice versa he's too pretty not to mark up..... (no comment)

-this is an all boys school they most likely don't have sex ed here and so you would have to teach him what to do but once he knows it kinda clicks right ya know [another reason i think he would just love titties becuse he wants to learn and i mean like he would get kinda fascinated with them] also he would be really sensitive in general and that's a great advantage to top (but hey you didnt hear that from me 0^0)

okay then that was that and ive run out of ideas now and i need to get this out of me ive got like 2 more things to write about this emo becuse i love and relate to him so much anyway hope that was good i try to be accurate even though this is head cannons and not real at all im still trying to be in character sorry if my writing sucks :)

[jacenotjason]

IM ON MY KNEES GIVE ME FACTS ABOUT SALLY PLEASE PLEASEEE I WILL LITERALLY PAY HOWDY FOR NO REASON I NEED TO KNOW STUFF ABOUT MY LITTLE GOOBER SALLY also can barnaby adopt me :)

AAA GET OFF THE FLOOR, DONT GIVE HOWDY MONEY, AND YES BARNABY WILL ADOPT YOU!!

What was i doing

Sally funfacts n not so funfacts round!! Right!! Ok!!

(Au MAstERPOST AA)

Fun Facts!!

She is a lesbian! At least in this au. Her sexuality isn’t confirmed (I don’t think) so to me shes a lesbian until it’s confirmed!

She is a REALLY good dancer. You spend all day inside online you’re gonna end up on some K-pop dancing tutorials.

She sits like a goddamn gremlin. Like fuckin L from death note but worse posture

Her computer is a Commodore 64 (or C64), aka the best computer you can get in like the 1980s.

She does all sorts of things on her computer, share art, talk to Julie, troll in chat rooms, play games, talk to Julie some more, look up recipes she’ll never do, order her food, and talk to Julie, of course!

^ she’s actually really goated at like most games, esp shooters

Her favorite food is microwave noodles :3

She really loves Julie. So so so much <3. She thinks shes the prettiest girl in the world and nearly faints every time she gets a kiss. They’re so cute. I’m not normally super into wlw ships being a dude, but these two are just- a- theyre so wholesome and cute and i love them they have a special place in my heart.

She owns a lock of Julie’s hair lol. Not because she was a creep and like snipped it when she wasn’t looking, Julie gave it willingly. it went something like this: “Julie your hair is really soft…” “Aw thanks.. do you want some of it lol?” “…kinda..” “why didn’t you just say that then, here..”

She really likes hyperpop and breakcore music! Julie thinks its weird, but loves her anyway lol. (I actually have a playlist dedicated to each character and Sally’s is mostly breakcore)

She was originally going to be a moon, but i liked the star better. I just like drawing the loopys

Sally smells like Julie because Julie regularly sprays her with perfume bc she smells kinda bad. (“Sally, I love you, but *spritz* thats better”)

Not-So Fun Facts

Sally is an addict. Mostly narcotics (cocaine), but she has a collection of prescription drugs, too.

She came to Home recovered, but Howdy got her hooked again

She regularly hallucinates being outside, despite not having left her house in about six years.

I imagine her hallucinations are really unnerving, like liminal space. Something just isn’t right.

Some people have argued with me that Sally shouldn’t “be in such good shape”, but shes really not. She’s just thin, doesn’t mean shes healthy, in fact she’s just thin because she regularly skips meals either because she forgets or because shes high. Cocaine skinny isn’t in shape, PSA lol

Sally’s house is really, really gross. Sally wears shoes all the time in her own house because you literally can’t see the floor anymore and she’s scared of what she’ll step on. Its all trash, boxes from packages, noodle containers, definitely does not smell pleasant.

She fears social interaction so much, if she were to overdose, she would rather die then call for help. Not even her survival instincts overpower her agoraphobia.

I don’t think I missed anything this time! Thanks for reading :D

[enden-k]

This is embarrassing to admit but I kinda resent Fontaine coming out cause now I feel like people will move on from Sumeru and the characters, even though I'm still very much attached. That's dumb and petty I know but thats how I feel.

ANON WERE THE SAME

fontaine is fun and nice (environment) but with the main story im pretty slow. its not like im not interested but i feel that i need to be in a certain mood to be able to play so i can give it a proper chance. i just dont feel like im ready to fully move on from sumeru ahxksjx im also too attached to it and all of its cast to let go (not that i will tbh) just thinking about leaving them behind makes me go AAAAAAAA even tho it prob sounds silly (thats why i bring them with me at least. i main haitham but theres still slots left to fit some of the others in, no idc they dont work well together. he solos in worst case AHHAH)

fontaine is here and i still think about sumeru sm!!! meeting nahida, watching nilous dance, meeting haitham for the first time and wishing it was me he just elbowed in the head, cyno haitham and dehya banding together to rescue nahida with us, dottore and scara !!! haithams entire plan and him pretending to be corrupted, cynos appearance before azar, fighting scara for the first time---- i think about all this regularly and how awesome it was. the first three archon quests were nothing (sorry) to that and theres hope with how good sumeru was that the other chapters will be equally good so i wanna give them a chance even tho rn it feels to me that nothing can make it better for me than sumeru ajshshdj

(mostly bc this whole found family/ppl banding together to fight and becoming friends is smth i personally enjoy SO MUCH and sumeru got quite a lot of the meaning of family/bonds and stuff also bc i just love the entirety of sumeru cast (not counting dori tbh) and the environment and atmosphere itself. its the closest where im like wow i wish i lived here. going there always feels like coming home its weird to explain???)

also my tl and dash here is starting to get filled with neuvillette and wriothesley ship art and im like nooo get them out of my sight HAHAHA, im still here feeling weak in my knees over haikavetham and ppl all move on already, i cant even manage if i tried and wanted to sjdbjsgd 😭

(this is not in an accusing tone btw, ppl shall do what they want its whatever)

sry for rambling im just still feeling so strong for them. all of them, not just hkvthm (tho ofc theyre my biggest babies i love sm ajdjshh) anw ill just. stay here in sumeru and keep drawing my sillies, its ok just leave me behind <3 AGAHSJDH

[nijigay]

hiiii :3 I noticed ur one (of a few) ppl who ships boniji on tumblr, and I wanna know if you know any accounts/artists who ships them so I could follow them to satiate my boniji fixation >.< Also, some bocchi x nijika questions I wanna personally ask: what songs do you recommend that reminds you of them? Also, what are some boniji fanfics you recommend/like? I probably already read most of their fics but I wanna know what others like. Lastly, ur personal boniji headcanons if you don't mind sharing... 👉👈

I only ask blogs rarely cuz I'm shy so no need to answer immediately...

I'm just brainrotting over boniji so much! im so normal about them (◔‿◔)

AWAWAWA i love boniji like so much like too much like its become my main personality trait!

but youre right!!! it feels like boniji fans are mostly japan natives and there dont seem to be many english speaking boniji fans! ohhh i wish there was more of a following! imagine a boniji zine in the west! i would pay money to get involved with that

im kind of embarrassed about shoving my ships in ppls faces all the time and this might get long and its just me like rambling about my OTP so like .. gona put it under a read more lol. seriously this post is like almost 2k words long thats longer than my average fanfic chapter

i hate to be a shill but im going to be a shill for my fic recommendations:

ive been working on a lowkey corny boniji hanahaki fic on AO3 and some other oneshots, so maybe you would be willing to check my own stuff out?? (if u want .-. im really amateur with this stuff despite being an art student lol) its been on hiatus for like half a year but im just adhd af and keep restarting. im still working on it frequently tho and im secretly hoping to start updating on a consistent basis soon. but i also liked fics like "Midnight and Daydreams" and "Bubblegum Detergent" and "A Sellout Night" and "Just Enough to be Enough" and "A Kiss is Not A Cure". MANNN i remember that last one fucked me up bad when it was posted. it was only the second ever dedicated boniji fic and like I LOVE angst but with how small the sample size of fics was at the time it was like AUFHAUIJKADGF. all those fics are super super good though! i also love the third one, i love the trans bocchi HC personally

umm as far songs songs tho, i guess the ones i associate with boniji most are:

"veil" by keina suda, i remember drafting some animatic for an angsty AU of Hitori living on post-Kessoku

"STEP&CLAP" by yoshino aoyama (aka yoppi aka bocchis VA <3), i think yoppi making the song speaks for itself but its a rly cute song and i love thinking of Hitori and Nijika like tap dancing to it?? check out the rest of yoppi's debut album too!! her voice is so pretty and i was so happy finding out that there are 11 songs with her voice, instead of the 1 from the anime

idk why but i also think of them a lot when listening to PMMM's ost by yuki kaijuri, like "desiderium" and "not yet" and "mada dame yo"? these r kinda a stretch though but idk!!

i also like compiling music that reminds me of them into spotify playlists, if youd like some inspiration for your own! this one and also this angstier one

i have a lot of boniji headcanons but i feel like its hard for me to like list them all in one spot because they usually come to me with context during relevant conversations?? but ill list whatever i can think of!:

this ones not necessarily boniji but i was thinking about it like an hour ago, but i really like the idea of Seika being a huge boniji supporter. like in the source material she already finds Bocchi really cute, so I get the impression she would really like to be an older sister figure for Bocchi (and probably gets jealous of Kikuri for holding that spot in Bocchi's life lol), and so Nijika being a potential love interest for Bocchi would make Seika double down hard on supporting boniji. she'd probably be the one who brings Bocchi up to Nijika more than Nijika would bring her up to Seika?? i also like to imagine that for Seika she has a similar complex to Yoyoko. but instead of "Bocchi is stealing my spot as Hiroi's younger sister figure," it would be "Kikuri is stealing my spot as Bocchi's older sister figure" LOL . if that makes any sense at all

this ones actually taken from a japanese twitter user, but they moved on from boniji after the anime ended. but they had some headcanons that REALLY stuck with me. my favorite was the idea that Bocchi and Nijika both have inferiority complexes with one another. iirc their (translated) words were along the lines of "Bocchi thinks of Nijika as a pure, comforting light in her life, one that could be muddied if Bocchi got involved with her. On the other hand, Nijika thinks of Bocchi as a reliable hero who outshines an ordinary girl like her." i just REALLY like it. it also reminds me of this conversation that Yoppi and Suzushiro had on the BTR podcast, about Bocchi and Nijika's first meeting! like nijika literally brought light into Bocchi's life awdsfsgdhgfjh

actually that same user above also made a tweet that is the reason why i associate Keina Suda's "veil" with boniji! they made a tweet about an AU idea, where, in the event that Nijika would ever pass away, Seika would give Bocchi her ribbon, which Hitori would wear from that point onwards as she continues to play music to honor Nijika's memory. they also suggested that in the opposite event of Hitori passing away, Nijika would possibly do something very rash out of despair but thats dark hahaha!!!!

i kinda think this goes without saying and i think its actually a fairly common HC for BTR characters in general, but I can definitely see Bocchi being trans

I like to imagine that shortly after Volume 2, Bocchi and Nijika would probably have another conversation

eventually, i'm sure if Bocchi and Nijika pursued a relationship that they'd eventually move in together (or like into the same room? if Kessoku Band had a sharehouse?), and since both Bocchi and Nijika tend to be minimalistic with their room decor, their shared room would again become filled with a ton of Ryo's clothes and items and instruments, like how Nijika's room at Seika's apartment is

i think they'd both end up being really touchy with each other, especially when nervous? Bocchi kind of already does this when she's in new places (eg bringing Kita to Shimokitazawa, or going to FOLT for the first time and being dragged by Nijika), but I think it would grow to them finding comfort with each other?

idk if this is necessarily a HC but i really like how Bocchi and Nijika emotionally support each other, even in source. Nijika is shown to have a really good read on Bocchi (to the point of Bocchi worrying that Nijika is actually a psychic), knowing Bocchi's common thought processes, and picking up from Bocchi's mother during her first visit to Kanazawa that karaage chicken can bring Bocchi out of her anxiety attacks, and seems to be the only character who actually comments on Bocchi's growth as an individual and actively tries to facilitate it; but she also doesn't lovebomb Bocchi with praise, striking what seems to be a good balance for pushing Bocchi but also being a reliable confidant for her too.

one of my favorite details from the anime that i really feel doesnt get talked about as often as it should is when Nijika finally notices that Bocchi is guitarhero! she definitely wasn't the first to notice (Seika noticed first, but it seemed like Seika only knew about guitarhero via Nijika. When she notices that Bocchi's playing sounds familiar, her thought process immediately goes towards wondering why Nijika isn't noticing, and then she just tells them to get back to work) but she was the first one that Bocchi admits it too. but my favorite part is how Bocchi says that she wanted to change and grow as a person before telling them the truth, and she says that she especially wanted to grow before Nijika in particular found out! its just really cute, i love how Bocchi was worried about disappointing Nijika. and i like how, after some growth, Bocchi's dream turns from "becoming popular" to "making Kessoku Band the best band it can be" which is like almost basically the same as Nijika's dream! and so it's really nice when Bocchi doubles down on that goal by not remotely entertaining the idea of leaving Kessoku Band, even when goaded by promises of popularity.

last headcanon! because i ran out of thoughts and just came up with this on the spot. but i also like the idea that as the years go on, Bocchi and Nijika in particular may kind of become more similar in personality. i mean, they'd definitely still be distinctly them, but i like to think that Bocchi would eventually start picking up more optimistic habits and stop grimacing all the time, while Nijika would eventually become a little more lax and not reflexively try to dismiss her own negative feelings via looking at the silver lining. i thought of that when Nijika kinda dismisses her family dynamics with her mother's passing and her father's neglect after Kessoku's first real performance, as well as Nijika seeming to admit after inhaling Bocchi Dust(?) during her and Kita's Kanazawa visit that some of her optimism is performative

ok another one Nijika seems to have her art skills commented on sometimes so i like to imagine she has doodles of Bocchi in her sketchbook (alongside everyone else but mostly Bocchi). like think of like Miles Morales drawing a ton of Gwen Stacy like that kinda deal but with Nijika drawing Bocchi. and like Bocchi finds the sketchbook and Nijika freaks out and Bocchi actually doesnt look bc she doesnt want to do something wrong. but then Ryo or Kita take it and look instead and then show Bocchi and Bocchi melts into a flustered puddle

wowwow this got long! sorry! i really mean it when im like OBSESSED with these two like i think ive thought about them on a daily basis ever since the episode aired where Nijika bought Bocchi a cola. isnt that cute, too!? she picked up on Bocchi's favorite soda so quickly! and her buying a box of energy drinks for Bocchi despite not understanding why at all! girlfriend behavior

i really really want to make more boniji content, i'd like to be more active in posting my fics and drabbles and drawings, someday soon. right now most of my boniji content is just illegible sketches in my sketchbook lol

also thank u so much for like sending this ask im like BEGGING internally all the time to be given the chance to talk about them! i dont think theyre like a rarepair or anything, especially with them seeming to be like the second most popular BTR ship in japan, but i do think that not many people talk to them in the english side of the fandom! theyre super super cute and have really good chemistry.

this entire post is probably like a total carwreck i hope its even readable

ill also use this post as an excuse to post my own HCs for a Kessoku Band's relations chart. it's a bonus for reading this far. i'm sorry for draining 22 HP from you with this brain dump

[grimescum]

ok fine (i say to nobody because nobody asked me for this)

HEADS UP i speak about some of these as if im like. dissecting the actual meaning of the song... thats not true idk why i decided to phrase it like that. i meant that this is how the songs relate to him in my head but. i dont feel like fixing it

and ive got crazy brain fog here we fucking go

baba yaga - nilfruits is, in retrospect, a pretty loose fit considering its actual meaning, which i didn't figure out until AFTER i associated it with walter. so. :P blehh

the MV shows a young girl, easily impressionable and desperate for validation, being lured into a building with compliments and promises of being something great. she's then continually groomed (into dancing, presumably for free or next to nothing, as well as murder??) using that same validation

... or somehign idk POINT IS i know generally what its hinting at and it doesn't fit w how i see walter

brutus - the buttress reminds me of what walter might've thought about alucard right before his betrayal as well as everything that came afterwards. verse 1-3 is from the perspective of old walter,

And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't wishing / For untimely death or demise / Or am I just wishing I could be like you?

envy is a feeling very familiar to me. even with the people i love most, if they're more liked or better off than me in any regard, i might have moments of extreme hatred towards them. it always passes, but in the past i've acted on those feelings impulsively or in a moment of lapsed judgment..

all of that was to explain how i see his betrayal, basically. him reacting in shock when seras tells him she enjoyed his presence was def the "oh i fucked everything up" moment, and him continuing on regardless could've been apathy that i also tend to feel after I've also fucked up; i think he's mentally protecting himself against the trauma of losing basically all he had in the moment. also just. yk. he probably thought since he went this far he might as well. but 1. he still could've just stopped 2. shhhh

verse 4 is from the perspective of dark! walter,

Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy / I too have a destiny / This death will be art / The people will speak of this day from near and afar

This event will be history / And I'll be great too / I don't want what you have / I wanna be you

and the outro would be during walter's defeat, though that's usually when my daydream stops since the lyrics don't match up well enough ell oh ell

scapegoat - ghost and pals mostly for the chorus.

Now do you hate me? / Are you afraid of me? / Are you able to feel culpability? / Come forth and kill me / Bow down and worship me / Take your time, all we have is eternity

Now with a new start / Broken and torn apart / Nothing in me resembles a human heart / My name is unknown / Something I've never told / On my own, I declare / "I don't wanna go home"

i see this from the perspective of dark! walter, with some lines being both literal and metaphorical. i see "all we have is eternity" and "now with a new start" to be literal in the sense of his turning. "my name is unknown, something i've never told" is metaphorical, representing him lying about his true thoughts and feelings, maybe not even having a good idea himself. also a nod to lack of identity issues in bpd. "Nothing in me resembles a human heart" is both literal and metaphorical since he's no longer human, but he's also lost the ability to care for those around him now that his plan is already in motion.

appetite of a people pleaser - ghost and pals is pretty self-explanatory but I'll point out some lyrics i think fit well anyway,

Give me your dire expectations, and I’ll consume perfection

Now that I’ve become a full-course identity / Take a bite of me / I hope that I’ve become a favorable delicacy / That I’m worth something

I’ll eat ‘em all, the thoughts of anyone I’ll ever meet / Just to make them happy / Wondering why I’m a burden, or so it seems / Aren’t I everything?

These flavors of personality are / Hindering my likeability / My impulsive desire, my appetite has / Spoiled my urge to satisfy / Everyone will like me more without it

copycat - circusP hardly even counts here but i'll add it anyway. listening to this song gave me the headcanon that whenever he realized he subconsciously picked up a behavior or habit from alucard, seras or integra, he'd feel an intense guilt for it. thats also bpd related btw i used to do that and still do to a lesser extent

ok im bored that's it

[all-that-tmnt-jazz]

Hello! I was wondering if you're still opening match-ups? If you're not its okay! Im not forcing ya.

Im actually a female (Bi), an aries, my height is 5'4", i have short black hair, i wore a glasses (sometimes if i can't see afar) i wore dark clothes a lot.

i can speak chinese (a bit) and also japanese (a bit too) and ofc i can speak english.

 im a actually a INFP, an introvert, polite, patient/calm person, if you met me im always shy and akward when i socialize people, (but people actually see me a quiet, distant and emotionless person, because i have trust issues). When you know me a lot, i might comfortable and might sometimes show my childish or playful behavour it depends on my mood. I'm actually having problems with my emotions/anger issues and decide to not show it to le people what i felt and so hid my emotions/feelings. (I suddenly emotionless when im depressed)

(Ps: im bad at lying)

I have a anxiety, whenever i felt uncomfortable sometimes easily get panicked.

Im also sensitive person, when someone shouted me, i would actually flinched/afraid or easily cried.

I actually hate loud noises or screaming/shouting, i easily get triggered or irrated and people staring at me (it makes me uncomfortable, also staring is rude)

 I love listening some any music (a lot).

I love watching anime and ghibli movies.

I can play piano or violin.

I like to dancing waltz dance. (Still practicing).

I read books (which is arts and science and poetry) i like learning about Biologist.

 I love to draw, when you see me drawing/doodling im kinda quickly hid it and shy to show it because my arts/drawing wasn't that good, it kinda looked like anime-ish(im also draw in digital).

I can do martial arts, i used it for self-defence or protecting my friends.

I like sleeping A LOT.

The way i give affections which is giving some hugs and kisses or even a head pat. (i also use it as comfort or i want to)

When it comes someone is having arguement with me, i dont want to say something horrible or hurtful words when i can't control my anger or temper, so its better that i say nothing and calmly walk away.

Hope it's okay for you, Thx! 🌸

Ps: your blog is cool and your stories too! 🐢💕

Hi! Okay so. I was kinda torn between two with your entry so I'm gonna put both and why.

Here we go :)

Leo

He loves watching Studio Ghibli movies with you.

(His favorite is "My Neighbor Totoro." He knows it's popular, but he gets it- it's a good movie)

He tries to understand your emotions to help you- he also has a bit of anger issues, but he's gotten a better handle on it than Raph.

He knows many types of meditations because of Splinter, so he offers to guide you through some to see if it helps.

He is proud that to avoid saying something hurtful, you just walk away- that is something that took him a while to learn.

Mikey stole your glasses once.

He never stole them twice.

(P.S You and Leo had both ganged up on Mikey)

Raph also yelled at you once.

He never did again.

(You had started crying, and Leo started to fight him- Splinter had to get involved)

Since he usually sleeps during the day, he doesn't get to sleep with you often.

But you do nap when you have time, so you always go to him to cuddle.

He never said this, but he loves it when you pat his head. He finds it adorable.

Donnie

Okay. "Ponyo." The best Ghibli movie.

(He will fight you on this.)

He's pretty into psychology, so he tries to break down your emotions- that way, both of you can figure out what's going on in your head.

He is also pretty into biology, so he loves talking to you about that and exchanging books about it.

He realized your glasses have a similar prescription as his

(He's also pretty blind.)

He mostly listens to study music and other similar genres, but he also loves hearing your music taste.

He learns a lot about people through what they like- especially through the arts (like music)

He finds it awesome that you're learning martial arts.

He offers to help you with some defensive moves since he knows that you're learning to protect yourself.

He is usually too tall for head pats, but he loves hugging you- your head always goes right next to his heart.

He is the one who helps with your anger the most because of that

You love that your head goes right next to his heart

It helps calm you down just as much as it does to him.

He has asked you to play piano/violin for him.

[tunawithsoysauce]

Stuff you might wanna know :3

about ~me~

Name: Finn/Todd Henriksson

Age: 13 (2011)

Swedish, third generation Finnish

Weird

Transboy

Bisexual

👆 the main stuff. Scroll for a bit more detailed bullshit.

▪︎I LOVE MUSIC!!! I go to a music highschool, my parents are musicians and I love singing and playing french horn. Fun thing, right!?

▪︎I'M TRANS (wow!) I'm transmasc, and have been as long as I can remember (I came out at eight, I believe?) And my pronouns are he/him! I'm a boy. Only boy.

▪︎I USUALLY DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING (wha) I don't know what im doing. Most of the time. Id like to believe im kind and try to be good, but you know. It is what it is.

▪︎HAIR DYE AND ROCKS! (lmao what) i love dying my hair. And rocks. Not cool rocks. Just... rocks.

▪︎ART!!!! (YIPPIE !) I love drawing and writing and stuff like that. Very fun. Its like the only thing I do haha

▪︎NERD!!! (OFc) I love fixating on stuff. Which leads me to our next segment...

▪︎Interests (online)

The main ones AREEEE: *drumroll*

1. Doctor who! (My sister used to love it. She showed me it all and now im as big a nerd as she is.)

2. Sherlock holmes! (Or Sherlock & co. Both. Mostly just the novels. The BBC show if you make me.)

3. Good omens! Or Neil gaiman in general! (He's very cool)

Eeeeh otherwise im very obsessed with loads of stuffs. Just. Ask me if ive seen something, ill probably have.

Family!

▪︎Mum & dad! (My mum's mean sometimes. Not all the time. She can be good. She’s just... she has a diffrent way of loving.) (Dad! He's amazing. I love him.)

▪︎ main siblings! (I have two fully bio siblings. Otto, and Ruben. Otto is 6 and Ruben is 14. Otto is silly, my big brother is amazing. He's my true rolemodel :))

▪︎ half siblings (I DONT ACTUALLY CALL THEM HALF SIBLINGS)

A) -Anna!! She's the one im closest to. She’s the youngest (26) and has a cat and a fiancee (Jim.) Jim's cool. Very silly. He's also sort of a role model, for me. He's been in my life for all of it, I think? My sister had a boyfriend before that. He was very quiet. Anna is very nice and I love having sleepovers with her. She was also the one who introduced me to Doctor who!! We always have so much fun. She really likes the beatles. Don't know why I put that there. She just really likes them. Felt important.

B) Malin!! My middle big sister. She’s awesome, and She’s got a whole family. A husband (He's amazing and so so so smart i literally think he's so cool) which i think is very rad, and my neice !!! He's called Einar. He's 3. He calls me "uncle Todd" (AJSKSJJDKD)

C) My biggest brother Mattias. He's quiet, but also very awesome. His girlfriend is very nice too. She has green hairdye in her hair. :3)

▪︎FRIENDS!!!

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!

This includes:

1. Leija! We met in the beginning of fourth grade. She’s weird like me. And awesome. I love her.

2. Elsa!!! She's been my best friend all my life. Our mums know eachother. She’s kind and beautiful and always makes me happy.

3. Elvira!!! My mandatory lesbian friend. That's a joke. She’s cool. And very nice. She never speaks ill of anyone. She’s truly the kindest human ever.

4. Sofie!!! A non-binary chaos machine. I love them. They're always a joy to be around.

5. Max!!! My absolute best friend. He's amazing even though we barely met even a year ago. I visit him frequently.

5. Jack!!! (Love interest? Kind of dating?)

Side characters (wtf)

▪︎My therapist!! She's called Emma. Uh.

▪︎My father figure!!! Otto. Not to be confused with my little brother.

▪︎ My Swedish teacher!! I just think she's awesome. She’s also called Anna. Not to be confused with my sister.

▪︎ All my finnish friends! Jesus christ if I named all of the finnish blokes ive befriended id die typing.

▪︎ this random dude I met on reddit i haven't talked to for two months :D

▪︎Sofia!! A lady at my school. She’s awesome. She’s practically my step mum. She’s held me while I cried in the nurses office more than I can think.

▪︎ uhm

Hobbies!!

Mondays: french horn B)

Tuesdays: dancing!! (With Elvira:))

Wednesdays: orchestra!! (French horn)

Thursdays: TSS!! (A place you can hang out at)

Fridays: bugging my music teacher and playing drums with my bassist friend until I get kicked out!

School

As previously mentioned i go to a music school. We have music everyday. Its awesome.

I love swedish, music, art, english, french, and history.

I hate P.E, math, science and homeroom.

Bye :33

[caramelmochacrow]

i haven't talked abt my d4 headcanons for a while so it's time to change that! (this is random. like. very random there are no specifics.) also it's fine if u dont headcanon anything i headcanon of course lol, im not saying everyone should headcanon the ones i have.

(i made it long. i ramble and go off rails for a bit. apologies. cutting it.)

so. dalia half filo headcanon time!!!

dalia's mother is filipino while her father is japanese. she has one uncle and one aunt who r also filo, with dalia's mother being the youngest. her mother and siblings were born and raised in pampanga, her grandmother is from ilocos, (im not sure on ilocos norte or ilocos sur so im just saying ilocos.) and one of her great-grandparents was from around visayas or mindanao (they have no idea bc dalia's mother moved to japan at a young age bc of her grandfather needing a better job and general work environment. dalia's uncle and aunt moved back to the philippines when they were older but dalia's mother stayed in japan bc they're more connected to the philippines than her but they still keep contact.

the way they keep contact is by giving gifts. a lot of gifts. and also phone calls. when dalia and her brother (i havent made up a name for him but i will soon) were born, their gift giving doubled. they gifted them a few stuff from the philippines like a maria clara gown (that was originally from dalia's grandmother), a barong (that was originally dalia's uncle's), and a few vhs tapes and videos of their mother dancing tinikling, carinosa, and other filipino folk dances.

dalia's mother met her father and fell in love. since her husband is a chef, her siblings sent many many recipes of food their mother made when they were younger. dalia's mother also made sure that they knew their filipino food so she and her husband made sure they knew it as well.

dalia fell in love w dancing bc of her mother's old videos of her dancing. her mother let her learn those dances she knew as a child because it was like she was back at the philippines again. (and also bc she wants dalia to know that side of herself more) dalia's brother also got interested in cooking bc of their father so he started following that path.

bc of this, dalia and her brother know three languages: japanese, tagalog and english. they know japanese and tagalog more compared to english though. reason for knowing english is because in the philippines, they (in my experience, anyway) only teach japanese and other languages in international or expensive schools and dalia's mother and siblings would not be able to go to that type of school. but! in public schools or cheaper schools (depending on how u see it idk) they mostly teach u english and tagalog together. so her mother would know english and tagalog then soon needed to learn japanese.

so. um. enough abt dalia!!! onto my next d4 headcanon ramble!!!!!

trans girl shinobu. i havent thought of this much like i did w dalia but it still means a lot to me even as a transguy. (still not used to saying that lol) it's gonna be explained when i ramble. im a closeted transguy. so why would i headcanon shinobu, someone i draw in mostly masc clothes, transfem instead of transmasc? bc to me it's like. "hey! look! this transgirl can wear masc clothes and is still a woman, so a transguy wearing fem clothes is still a man!" so it comforts me.

also bc why not? nothing is stopping me, people in this fandom love hearing me talk abt my headcanons -- hopefully -- and they arent going to argue and make long ass thread on me or my art and why it's wrong.

anyway, enough abt myself, onto the "lore" thing or whatever to call this. shinobu is not on hrt yet, but was on puberty blockers when she was in middle school. (im not sure on what age ur allowed hrt in japan so...) and did voice training. her family and peaky pkey are the only ones who knows she's trans and she's VERY private abt her transness. when kyoko asked her abt voice training when she didn't know her much she got very scared and told her she didn't know. she wears hoodies bc it hides the fact she's flat chested. she doesnt wear tight shirts either, only when she's home. dennojo and all her relatives support her greatly and make sure she's comfortable w herself as much as possible.

kyoko, esora and yuka were confused at first why shinobu would just. not dress up w them and stuff but after she told them why, they simply smiled and said it was fine. the three of them make sure shinobu is comfortable whenever she's changing in gym and also make sure no one is looking at her. they do a little wall thing. ough theyre just. very supported of her ok?

that's all i got for shinobu. if i continued it would be super long so im stopping and going to continue ramble on abt something else.

merm4id has heart accesories that are meant to match w each other. idc what u say. rika has a heart-shaped sunglasses, marika has a bracelet w heart beads, dalia has heart earrings and saori has a heart pendant she can open that has the pictures of rika, marika and dalia. they all love each other so much <3

touched on this in my bday fic, but aoi has two crow plushies named lucifer and hesperus. lucifer is a very light orange-colored crow with dark brown eyes while hesperus is a dark blue one w yellow or orange eyes. she got lucifer first when she was ten and has been with her ever since. he's full of stitches and stuff bc of how old he is. hesperus, on the other hand, is very clean. he doesnt have stitches yet. to her, lucifer was her first friend. he comforted her when she was at her lowest. tsubaki, nagisa and hiiro didnt know she had lucifer until side origin and they love him dearly. then at her birthday, tsubaki gifted hesperus to her.

all of them like to think theyre rondo's mascot even tho theyre the only ones who know abt them. hiiro likes making little outfits for them and nagisa likes making accesories. also nagisa jokes a lot abt how hesperus and lucifer are like tsubaki and aoi's sons, which tsubaki does not (she secretly does) like and aoi just chuckles and agrees. tsubaki is especially attached to hesperus bc she bought the little guy. that's her little thing. aoi sends in silly pictures of them in the silly outfits hiiro made for them to the rondo gc. tsubaki treasures them deeply and nagisa likes showing it to shinobu w no context.

noa is a very normal (she isnt) fan of takarazuka revues (bc she has the same voice as junna) and she tries to get towa into it. towa half heartedly watches the plays for noa's sake and she's just kinda happy that noa wants to share something she likes w her. noa rambles A LOT on what some things might mean and represent in the plays and towa tries to add what she thinks whenever noa rambles. she also tries to get ibuki and saki into it and she semi-succeeded, but towa is the one who keeps up w her normalness abt plays. they also talk abt how cute some musumeyaku and otokoyaku are bc of course.

aaaaaand that's all i got. this isnt much headcanons but i think some of the details i put compensate for that lol. hope u enjoyed seeing my headcanons? idk.

[arttrampbelle]

Have some self ship art

For myself,self indulgence to mostly forget about the new game and just making my own lore with blackjack and h00kers

I also made some dialogue excerpt to go with it

(Lady tsung and shang during her early days of training. Aka the very very beginning of their relationship. Aka when shang tsung started to kinda be soft for her)

Also be sure to follow my self ship blog @mrstsung for more content (i need to post there so apologizes in advance for lack of new kontent)

Lady tsung: so what's the training lesson for today sifu?

Shang tsung: no lesson today my dear,i figured a day of rest is needed. Perhaps join me in the garden?

Lady tsung: no training?

Shang tsung: no training.

Lady tsung: that's unusual considering that for the past few weeks you've be running me ruthlessly.

Shang tsung: *chuckling* well. Every warrior needs rest. And you've earned it most definitely.

Lady tsung: the garden is lovely. How come it still stays well kempt despite all your servents being well....dead?

Shang tsung: i tend to it when i need.

Lady tsung: all by yourself?!

Shang tsung: i have nobody else here with me my dear....well....nobody alive that is.

Lady tsung: sounds....lonely

Shang tsung: it always was. Even with my most loyal of my followers. Devote or not,i never could connect with them. At least not on the level i desired. Not the same i do with you my dear.

Lady tsung: what do you mean sifu?

Shang tsung: my dear I've never met anyone who i could feel comfortable around. I dont give trust to just anyone. Somehow....i feel like I've met a long lost friend when i speak with you.

Lady tsung: *flustered but smiling* sifu...i...don't know what to say.

Shang tsung: let's say...i rather enjoy your company. You listen when i need you to lend an ear. You are respectful. Polite. Have manners,dignity,honor,and a strong will. A gentle but strong and genuine soul. Beautiful and graceful too. I would be a fool not to.

Lady tsung: i...um..thank you sifu. By the way? How long has it been since you have genuine company...but more so company of a woman?

Shang tsung: too long...way too long my dear.

Lady tsung: do you know how to dance?

Shang tsung: dance? I haven't in a while,but yes. Why? Do wish to dance with me,here in the garden?

Lady tsung: yeah. I mean i can't dance well,but maybe it would be nice.

Shang tsung: always the ever eager to pursue knowledge. My favorite quality of yours. *smiles* of course. *lends out hand*

Lady tsung and shang danced in the courtyard,no music. Just the natural sounds of the beautiful island paradise that shang tsung was sentenced by the gods as punishment for his crimes. But now in this moment,even fleetingly. It felt like home. again. No tournament,no worry. Just...peace. just them and all the time in the world.

[freebooter4ever]

I think a lot of the dweebyness came from his early years during his shy, awkward, aww-shucks era. once he got more confident with english, he shifted to a more jock-y vibe

Haha, sorry yall are never gonna convince me that malkin was ever dweeby. Jock is winning the poll btw:

I do, however, totally buy that an american audience mostly comprised of sports fans would look at a teenage boy struggling with a language barrier and immediately label him as 'different' and 'awkward' and 'quiet' and 'dweeby' and a whole bunch of other labels that shoves him into a box and then expect him to stay in that box because they've already decided on what kind of person he is.

We know how our (US) culture works, there's hundreds of american high school movies testifying to the sports/popularity hivemind.

But thats a temporary ostracization. It doesn't feel the same as the more personality-based, more permanent ostracization of the stereotypical 'dweeb' in high school. It's very different to grow up with a bunch of kids in the same neighborhood and watch yourself slowly become excluded and ignored as you get older. that wasnt me - my mother was my bully and from elementary school on she forced me into a form of social normal that made me invisible rather than a target for school bullies. (I dont know if i would reccomend this parenting style though). But i was friends with most of those kids - the ones who nobody would talk to and everybody would make fun of behind their back (we were post c*lumbine so outward bullying was frowned upon). That boy in my square dancing class was one of the few male dweebs, his name was yusef - like joseph but with a "y" and "you" sound. And im not kidding, i dont think the poor kid ever had any friends? Even i couldnt get him to talk, and ive always been pretty good at drawing people out of their shell. Most of the dweebs were girls - colleen, diane, stephanie, alicia - all my friends, all of whom i remember better than the jocks at our school. And absolutely a conscious choice on my part, i remember the point in elementary school when i was walking home with a few girls i knew and they saw colleen and diane a half block ahead of us (within hearing distance), and immediately started pointing out everything that made the two 'dweeb' girls weird and what was wrong with them. And i didnt even say anything i just glared at the girls i was with and ran ahead to walk with colleen and diane instead. And that was that, i knew i had picked sides, i wasnt ever going to join in with the people who make fun of those that are different \o/

aaand now im dealing with a total new form of social ostracization here in LA that feels eerily familiar, but whereas in school you could ignore the social game playing and succeed in spite of them, here suddenly what job you get hangs on who you know. Everybody always used to bug me like 'why are you staying in pittsburgh so long, why havent you tried to make it in the real industry yet' and my answer was always a) i loved my team and they needed me and b) i was art director so had more creative freedom (and my own office) than i could expect to have anywhere else. But i think truthfully in the back of my mind i kinda knew - there were enough hints over the years - what this city would be like and that i would be abysmal at fighting to survive in it.

Anyway im just sayin i dont think malkin - or any of these hockey players - has ever dealt with that level of social ostracization. Its nice watching these guys be nice to other people they consider on their level, and really cute and enjoyable. But for me at least there's always that awareness that if any of them met me, im not the type of person they'd consider worthy of time or attention - probably wouldnt be outright mean, but absolutely would be trying to avoid any lengthly association lol. I think its one of the main differences between being in sports fandom vs books or movies.

ALTHOUGH god, i will never ever forget the day i met one of my biggest childhood heroes - an author about my age 24ish. Who i idolized because she was living my dream - getting to write and create for a living and starting at such a young age. And she was mostly indifferent to me, didnt say much, didnt interact, just signed the book. And i shrugged it off. But then this teenage girl came up, just radiating what we'd call dweebiness. Her hair was a mess, face full of acne, awkward, but loud and really enthusiastic about the book, and desperate for someone to share that enthusiasm. And the author was mean. And cold. To this teenage girl who obviously idolized her and would have killed to have some sign of approval even if it was faked. Anway, instead this teenage girl latched onto me and i had to try to make up for the bitchy author but i knew my approval wasnt worth nearly as much and it broke my heart. I havent read or bought a single one of that author's novels since.

so yeah, its not just jocks, but they have the worse reputation in media.

[rigil-kentauris]

tw unresolved whining

so i had to cancel my writing ai subscription today because i found out they were doing images and its just making me reflect. i dont use it so i didnt notice, i mostly just wanted to tool to grow and mature. it was like my one indulgence. anyway. i wasnt involved with ai writing tools at the the BEGINNING beginning, but i was definitively there before All This. and i remember having never been so excited in my life about writing. i hadnt actually had fun writing in years, i realized (went to college for creative writing degree, for reference. like this was supposed to be my whole ass Life).

and i felt so hopeful, because it seemed to me that this was the perfect tool for me personally. it filled in all the parts of me i struggle with because of Depression and Exhaustion and We Live In A Society disease. im not sure whether or not i was using it like it was supposed to be used back then (definitely not how its supposed to be used now), but it reall felt like having a dance partner. we went back and forth sentence by sentence (sometimes word by word), making something that pushed and challenged me because it would 'write' things that i wouldnt have even considered. and i could go off of that one word or turn of phrase for paragraphs. until i got stuck. and i suppose you could get that if you wrote with another human being, which could be cool, but it was also a paradoxically safe space. sometimes you dont want to write extremem trauma whump angst with other people and i think thats okay

and it was fun. and there were issues. but it was okay

and then the art bots came.

and i felt... angry, obviously, on behalf of all the artists who were getting jacked. but i was also... pissed off. because all of a sudden people hated AIs for theft unilaterally (a good thing to be mad about) but they hadnt given a shit before. back when it was writing. because i am also a writer of normal human works. on places where content was being scrapped from. and all of a sudden there was a new cultural norm, at least in the circles i cared to be in, and no one cared about writers. at all. in fact to date ive only seen one post/piece about ai theft of text and i went out looking for that.

and it was like. i hadnt thought about the datasets before, not really. no one thinks of this is stealing (fiction) writers jobs. its only just now, like the past couple months just now, becoming a talked about problem because it steals journalists and REAL writers jobs. academic jobs. serious good people. not nasty little fiction writers. much less poets i am not a poet but i have never ever seen anyone talking about ais taking jobs from poets. and they can. people who think ai cant write mostly, i think, dont know how to use them correctly. (then again i also think people who think they CAN write fall under the same umbrella, so... ai writing programs have. problems as unique spottable and predictable as image ais adding an extra finger.)

anyway at the time, though, i hadnt really thought about tet theft in datasets. back then you really had to KNOW what generative ais were to understand what was going on. no one was explaining except to other people who got it. and of the people who got it, no one was talking about it. i wish they had been. obviously we are all of us individually responsible for our participation in society but. why wasnt anyone talking about it before? why is it okay to steal someones words? or at least, passable. why is it still passable?

it just makes me feel things. and i dont have any answers. besides that writing AIs should be the EASIEST thing in the world to fix. unlike with art, the public domain for written fiction is both massive and still popular. as in, people will use an AI trained on older writing whereas AFAICT, the only ai image makers that make money need to mass-steal anime and pop art. no one's arguing about Ye Olde Oil Painting Ai.

i dunno. it feels. odd. because obviously i cant support a place that steals. but i feel some kind of emotion about dropping a tool that made me feel connected to writing again, in order to support a (good and important) fight that doesnt seem to care about writers at all

i dont have any resolution. just upsetness. i wish we could use this tool for all the good its capable of. instead right now its just a big theft machine.

one day with the march of tech i guess we'll be able to run beasts like these on our own, and then i think we'll see more ethical options. it just sucks in the meantime.