#i dont know want to do something ill end up hating but i dont want my family to hate me or call me spoiled or something :/
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Every time I go to a party I'm reminded that it's not that I can't interact with people, it's just not a desire I have :(
#i always feel so guilty when ppl i just met are like wow u seem so cool! because im really not!#im good at masking and making people feel comfortable! its got nothing to do with my personality unfortunately#no version of me is as true as who i am by myself and idk i feel like a fraud for being nice?#ive had many people be disappointed when i just. dont want to hang out#im not a 1 on 1 person i hate being alone with someone#even with people i dearly cherish i just cant find myself comfortable when others are around#and its not about them either i think im just not compatible with social interactions#im not really looking for advice btw like this is just something im coming to terms with#i love people i truly do i just cannot exist properly around them#anyways fat bear supper was really nice :')#the mashed potatoes??? they were so fuckjng good like bro you dont understand#and shoutout to the ppl who made a salmon lasagna that was so good as well#friends played a beautiful beautiful song they made (if they end up putting it on spotify ill share it here its about a cow named Margot)#anyways i guess soft reminder you never know what people are struggling with regardless of how functioning they appear#(mashed potatoes recipe is as follow: unpeeled potatoes#+whole milk+butter+rosemary+thyme thats it thank u)
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no, i dont think im obligated to still small talk an hour into my meet up with a friend group ive been a part of for 2 years, and i dont think im overreacting or showing a lack of loyalty when im unsatisfied with such a conversation. As someone who hates small talk, that friend group isn't for me, and i get nothing from it, and i will choose not to feel like a weirdo (derogatory) or a traitor (..because we didn't promise each other we'd be together forever afaik), for being unsatisfied and leaving. ive shown them affection (that i didnt fully feel) for as long as i could
#switching to small talk bc i dont vibe with them is something my mom suggested#i know they feel the same but even then i think it feels bad to suddenly end it.#probably bc i dont want them to see how bad id treat them if we werent friends. i dont want them to hate me even more#but also i have to come to terms with the fact i will have no friend group if things go this way#because i dont talk to ppl and better ppl wont magically materialise in my dms#or on the lone forest bench i sit on when biking or at the rpg sessions i go to. bc people there are never my type#ppl on the bench are too rich and sporty and ppl on the rpg are too sigma male#im pretty much only hoping ill meet people in college or at art classes irl. or a convention but i didnt even have time to go this year#i should start meeting ppl online but if i dont show my face (online games) it usually doesnt go anywhere#and if i do show my face (tinder) and i mess up (like you do on tinder which is a risky place)#im losing the limited queer people in my city forever. im using up a very finite resource#i could go to meet ppl on tumblr but we will never go to voice call bc its not what you do here#conclusion: what i should do is join more random fandom discords thru tumblr and wait til theyre on call#(<- option A.)#or wait til im in some classes and join a discord with people from my school but not my class#(<- option B.)#however i dont even want to talk to people#fuck people. im tired of people#theres a number of ways i could make friends but i hate everyone i meet and am constantly pissed off and dissatisfied#i may just be aplatonic#its hard to come to terms with
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not happy with how my 'meeting' w my potential new store manager went and i cant figure out if im being an ass about this
#only in the sense that this is just how it is working retail#i know that#but surely im allowed to have shit i just dont want to fucking do#i cant afford to be picky but christ i just want a job to be what it is#i dont want to be cross-trained i dont want to do more jobs for the same amount of money i dont want to have more responsibilities#i just want something simple#i just want to get through the day#id be happy throwing boxes#but i currently work at a grocery store handling online orders#iv been dealing#and at the new store theyr telling me ill have to crosstrain for the front end-service desk#and i just#i know ppl work registers and phones and they hate it but they get through it#so many people put up with this#i probably COULD is the thing#but the thought alone makes me want to peel my skin off#i just dont fucking want to#all of this on top of how she knew fuckall about my transfer which is just#and had no answer on if i could get ft#jesus#and hr was supposed to be there! this was set up beforehand! and guess who wasnt in today!#fucking hr!
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why do i havs to have a nameeeee. just dont refer to me ever thank you
#howling#this is mostly a joke i DO want to come up with A Name and i still dont actually mind going by all the shit ive come up with#the main problem is that i dont have A Name thats like. Real.#i still go by a variation of my deadname irl because i know if i start going by something else ill just end up hating that too
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this writing shit hard as hell
#snap chats#i was gonna joke that i should just pay someone but. but that is a thing i could do#HOWEVER i would not want to inflict my arasawa mental illness onto an unsuspecting victim#also i wanna write something for once :( weh :(#i was writing something but then i decided i hated it#but i stiillll wanna write so im scouring the internet for prompt inspo#nothings working....... mostly cause most of the lists im finding are nsff....#which i might steal for My Personal Folders or goofy comics OOP but still#i almost wanna rb a prompt list and ask for prompt numbers but SIGH#i dont even know exactly what i wanna write#sometimes i think of trying to write something serious but i dont have any strengths in that. im too silly.#i guess i kinda have a fic in mind.......hmmmm...... gonna go play with the idea in docs for a minute#will prob abandon it cause even now that im thinkin on it i dont really wanna do it but ill see#I Repeat my main problem with fic writing is that i always end up wanting to draw it instead#SUCH a pain i hate myself for this#need people to tell me what to write or ill die i hate it here
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i really didnt think of myself as being much of a travel/city person but
i think i just dont like most of the people i do that shit with ajdhhdhdg
"i dont just like to walk around looking at shops" ...in the walking around looking at shops district..?
#listen#i dont want to say shes having a bad time because she expected me to hate it more than i do but#genuinely this is all shit she generally enjoys and now my mom is acting like its the worst thing in the world#and im gonna start biting#she didnt do ANY prep for this trip herself#just kept waiting for me to come up w ideas#and i dont do itineraries like that im happy to just go to a place and be there#now she doesnt wanna do any of the shit im tryna do and its like....#well you had six months to plan otherwise!#now this is my party!#get on board or stay at the hotel but dont get crabby w me for wanting to go out into the city while theres city to go out into#wont say outright if she wants to do something#just says i dont know or i dont care if i offer smth up#i have to do this shit w my boyfriend too why do i have to deal with it w my mom as well#its really funny that theyre kinda positioning themselves as opposite ends of a spectrum like#both tryna make these ultimatums abt my loyalty to one or the other#hi ill ditch both of u if u dont chill a lil#i have other options
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#its not that i want to be friends with my ex really. i wouldnt really care if tomorrow he said he didnt want to be friends#but i hate being on this edge of does he want to be friends or not?#cause he doesnt act like he does but he keeps on saying he wants to be and that if i loved him ever i would#he broke up with me. and yet hes holding this above my head whilst acting like he barely likes me#i dont know if he wants me to say that i dont wanna be friends so that ill be the bad guy#cause according to him#every single argument we ever had was caused by me being a horrible. childish human being who is secretly trying to manipulate him#he has never ever said sorry. like actually meant it. its just oh im so evil. sorry for being a person#it always ends up being my fault. he didnt do it. if he did do it#its cause of something i did to make him be horrible#i dont even get the satisfaction of leaving the horrible relationship cause he broke up with me
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why does my feed always have to be the most loving shit when im breaking down and the worst shit whenever im happy, i hate this.
#j’s a bloody mess#i feel fucking SICK!!!’$;32):& I CANT FUCKING DO THIS. ALL CAPS IS UNIRONICALLY THE CLOSEST I GET TO RELIF FOR THIS. IM#GONNA ACTUALLY GO INSANE OR SOMETHING. I WANNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF. I WANT TO TAKE A DAMN GUN TO MY HEAD#BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY WAY ILL EVER FUCKING FEEL BETTER.#BECAUSE BEGGING PEOPLE TO TELL ME HOW MUCH THEY HATE ME AND RATHER HAVE ME DEAD IS WEIRD#i was so close to telling them that its fine to ignore me but i didnt bc thatd be weird to say out of no where#and probably look like attention seeking. and would probably warrent alot more questions and conversations that i dont know if i can deal w#th! plus if i do actually end up killing myself i dont want them thinking its bc they didnt do enough or some shit#im on the verge of doing it again but the only thing stopping me is that i have a fucking dr appointment next week and shell look at my arm
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its so funny to me that she was like 'you deserve better' because little does she even know she genuilnely was best. like no one is ever going to top her. and i know with my full heart that she will find better than me and im supposed to want that for her but i really really dont. cuz i know theres so much better than me but theres no one better than her
#like ive accepted that weve broken up and theres no chance of gettin gback together#but i still hate it. no matter how much i want her back i know she wont come back#and for some reason it feels like shes 'the one taht got away' even though i didnt try to let her go at ALL#like somehow it feels like its my own bad that we broke up even though shes the one who ended it#i wish shed told me that she wanted to be loved differently or something. she did everything perfectly for me but never asked anything of m#and i really wish she did. i wish shed given me a chance to show her how much she meant to me and how far i was willing to go for her#thats the part that im most upset about. the fact she didnt stay long enough to tell me all that and find out how much id do for her#and none of this is to say i never did anything bad. maybe i did and i just dont know it#or maybe i didnt do enough and i just dont know it#but i wish shed told me WITHOUT breaking up with me so that i could just have teh chance to be better for her#i dont understand why shed think it was unfair if i did try to change my own 'love' habits or whatever. i would do anything for her#i just want her to come back to show her how much better i can be than whatever i was before#cuz i know there ewre things i was bad at. ex. sometimes i was bad at picking up her cues or i know im bad at being romantic in front of ou#friends. but i didnt know if that was a problem for her or not and if it was i wish shed said so so that i could try better to fix all that#because even though im bad at it it doesnt mean i wouldnt try to do better for her#i just want her to give me another chance i want to do so much for her#now well never be bubbline and ill never get to give her her bday rpesent#like i guess its a good thing i hadnt bought it yet but now i feel shitty like what if her friends are like 'she never even got you a bday#present????? shes such a red flag' when the reality is i was waiting to get it closer to moving on campus to give itin person#GOD PLEASE. do you think if i start praying again the gods will bring her back to me
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Sometimes im like yeah get fucked epilepsy i got meds ur powerless here and then i get violently humbled just sitting at my desk
#it happened the other day at h and m and like idk how to describe it#but like maybe like what i assume its like when the bariometric plumments alllnof a sudden but like internally and like#actually its like what i imagine seeing a tornado touch down near you is like and feeling the storm and watching it and being like#why isnt it moving then u realize oh fuck its headed right for you#like that but u knoe ur body is gonna have a little episode u cant do shit abt very soon anywhere from 1 second away to 1 min#and im in the h and m i have to be cool i cant do what i want to do which usually is either lay down flat on the floor#with my arms over my head till its done or find the closest like sturdy thing like a pillar and grab onto it and close my eyes till its done#cause sometimes i feel like im not bound to space like i feel 4 feet to the left and 1 foot up despite being sat on the floor yaknow#and during the time i can think its liie tbisnis embarasing whoever im with is so embarassed and hates me or its my mom and shes worried#and it makes it more stressful for me#and then i cant think anymore and thats when i have to try and beg someone to get me like water or a coke or something cause#im sure for certain this is it this is the time i actually pass out its gonna happen any minute now#then i ends eventually and i have to be like sorry i acted like i was dying it felt like that and i didnt know what to do or how to act#cause my brain power went down to 3% and im super embarassed and if we dont move on instanlty like it never happened#im gonna be in a bad mood the rest of thr day im also gonna feel ill and horrible thr rest of they day too for some reason#i didnt think abt it but i may need to see abt like college accomedations cause if this happens in my spanish101 class#i have no choice but to flee the state
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i hate the food situation at my house so much for the love of god. theres only so many times a man can eat ramen with nothing or tuna with nothing
#theres no fucking. ingredients. theres nothing to add. i used to walk around my kitchen trying to look up stuff to make with what we had but#it required like. an onion. an egg. a spice. a vegetable. and we dont have that#and something about me. idk what it is idk if its me or my dads fault but i cant ask for it. i cant. i think part of it is bc i need the#ingredient for my one thing and then. it goes bad and its my fault and i feel bad#i hate my food situation so much. my dad makes this food in the microwave that he knows i dont like or eat. but if i make something else he#gets offended like thats not fair#and i feel bad for complaining bc i should just get a job and buy my own food but im not gonna do that bc im not gonna get a job.#i have trust fund money. like a decent amount from when i was hit buy a car#i should move out of state like right now. and live off that and when it runs out. ill just lay in the street i guess. i hate my life so#much guys its not funny. idk what to do. theres no fixing this theres nothing i want to do and nobody can help me bc theres no solution#everyone ignores it bc theres no solution to my problem. im never gonna be happy. its never gonna be worth it#nobody wants to tell me thats life suck it up or die bc they know id rather die by a mile. im so embarrassed of my stupid life im such a#failure. i want to kill myself bc i dont want to work like how pathetic is that. thats so stupid. i dont really say it to my parents bc they#would just laugh at me. or yell at me. i dont know what to do. i dont know what to do. i find myself hoping i get in a car accident and die#anytime i go out. i hope i dont wake up in the morning. i hope something bad happens and its not my fault so i dont get the blame i just get#the benifit of not having to do this anymore#god thats so. dark. its how i feel.#its getting to the point where i dont feel like i should say im not gonna kill myself at the end of these. im still not yet. but it feels#like a yet situation. like its gonna get to the point where i start trying again.#im still not there yet though. please dont… well idk what happens so suicidal adults. call the police on me. my methods arent any more#refined than they were when i was 14 trying to drink. nail polish.#simons spouting#vent :(#suicide //
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i hope this ask finds you chilling! it's too bad i missed the stream this week, but i figure i should give you my review of pure or else i'll never remember! that being said sorry in advance if this is annoying at all T.T
anyway overall i really liked it! that's my boring answer haha
my more in-depth answer is sets 100, the set design did not have to do all that but i love that they did. i have to say from the jump the dog made me so nervous but i really did think the dog thing would serve as a catalyst instead of the sawatari thing but they got me, double whammy.
i understand the ryo beef and i'm with you on it he really entered yuka into the competition, did all that, and then got mad about the consequences of his own actions...
i also can get why ppl would say it doesn't have a lot of rewatch value because it was fairly low-stakes and not too bombastic, but i also think there could be a lot to take in from future watch throughs anyway so...
it was really charming to me that sawatari was awkward in his own way, like, he was competent socially no doubt and pretty good at expressing himself but in a way that came off (to me at least) like a d&d kind of low charisma if that makes sense haha just like blunt and to the point but not unkind.
idk where i'm going with this, i just wanted to make sure i made good on my promise to report back 🫡.
THE PURE REVIEW OMG yay im glad you enjoyed it !!!
AND YAYA i LOVE sawatari. Like yeah he’s an asshole but because of The Conflict regarding yuka and how people shelter her too much, i enjoy his character a lot for being. A Cunt LMAO i can always appreciate honesty.. even if it wouldnt hurt to be a bit softer with it sometimes ☠️
The dog had me stressed cause i just know by now 90% of the time a dog’s involved it’s kicking the bucket at some point (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)
And yeah. Im a ryo hater 5ever like bros mad about a competition he was the only one participating in 😭 also thats your cousin who trusts and loves you you freak go away 😭😭
I agree with the general consensus that pure’s rewatchability is low, but ngl i love yuka and sawatari enough to rewatch some episodes sometimes ( ´ ▽ ` )
#long post#snap chats#and dont worry about the stream !!! i had to call tit early anyway#i wanted to keep goin longer but somethin came up tonight... and tldr my nights been Awful LMAO so no worries !#hopefully theres next week :]#in any case !!! SO GLAD you enjoyed it and ty for takin the time to watch it !#to be On Brand about the Homework notif im glad i got the equivalent of a book report ( ◠‿◠ )#A+ gg well done 👏👏 next assignment uhhh#well /i/ have an assignment to do and its finish the thing i was drawing today ☠️☠️ i dont really know when ill get access to my computer th#boo my head hurts so ima just end this post here#so fucked up and evil my bro jinxed something bad happening today#my older sis is goin on vacation and my bro joked like ‘bad things happen always occur when she goes on vacation’#AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED BAD THINGS HAPPENED hate that i deadass just experienced a ‘what could possibly go wrong’ moment irl
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hello can you do lads men with a hyper-independent reader? just the mc, who grew up doing everything on their own, slowly learning how to rely on the men with fluffy scenarios.
i appreciate you and your work so much and will be extremely grateful if you end up doing this one🫶🏽
AHH yeah this is why i love some of rafayels tender moments bc he directly confronts independent tendencies and tells you not to be like that around him - i dont really write like!! scenarios/fics unless i feel super compelled to so i hope you dont mind the hc format <3 thye just take a lot out of me and a super long time for me to write :(
Zayne is similar in that regard so the two of you can sometimes come off as a couple that don't have time for each other to people who don't know much about your relationship. However, it doesn't take long for Zayne to realise that you aren't depending on him at all. You try to hide your pains from him and at first he doesn't say anything to you about it. He doesn't want to make you feel forced to speak to him but there's something nagging at the back of his mind to talk to you.
He decides instead to try and passively imply you can trust him. He makes his routine known to you and communicates whenever his shifts run late. He did before but now he does so in a more regular manner, wanting to make it easier for you to know what to expect and when. The days that he isn't working he cooks and cleans for you even if you insist that he doesn't need to.
He'll tell you that he's glad to see how independent you are but sometimes he just wants to spoil you with his attention and make you feel safe around him. You can tell him all you want that you do feel safe and he doesn't have to do anything to gain your trust. He'll just keep taking care of you in quiet manners that don't threaten your independence.
Over time you begin to depend on him more. He's a comfortable presence who allows you to finally relax. You want to do the same thing for him, repaying the favour by doing the same things for him on the days he works. You figure out some sort of system wordlessly, your relationship strengthened due to a mutual trust.
Xavier wishes he was a little better at cooking to take the load off of you. The second it seems you can jump into action to do something for him you do, making him feel pampered but he's also not very glad for it.
It's not until you're housebound for a few days that he's finally able to take care of you. You were too sick to do much of anything, relying on Xavier to help you get through the day. He's more than happy to spend time with you, feeding you meals and keeping you company. You try to tell him he can just drop the food off and you'll take care of everything else yourself but he absolutely refuses, telling you that since you're too ill to get out of bed you need to let him care for you.
You can be quite stubborn but due to illness you're too tired to really fight against him. Despite what you tell him you know you're actually very happy that he's here to take care of you. You grow a little needy under him spoiling you and Xavier notices. He doesn't mind continuing to spoil you, making it clear that as long as you're with him he's going to do his best to take care of you. His behaviour doesn't change even when you get better, insisting that you let him in so he can help you out wherever you need him to.
Rafayel hates that you won't let him dote on you. You're constantly fighting him and telling him that he doesn't need to do anything. You're more than capable of taking care of yourself but despite that it takes him no time to wear you down.
He buys you anything you look at, cook meals for things you tell him you're craving passively, spoils you with his attention. He gives you all the things you were never given and becoming someone you can rely on. He wants more than anything for that to be the case so when you slowly start relenting and allowing him to take care of you.
You realise very quickly that he really does love caring for you. He happily moves around the home and gives you little things to do so you feel included but other than that he ends up doing the bulk of it. You think that it's an uneven distribution of labour and try to argue against him but you realise that he's taking his payment from you in the form of attention to him.
Sylus, in the kindest way possible, doesn't care that you're hyper independent. He's going to take care of you anyway, giving you anything you need and cooking meals for you. You can try and fight against his efforts as much as you'd like but it doesn't stop him at all.
He doesn't directly say anything to you about not doing things and letting him do them for you. He just simply does them and you can't really argue back against him - he just continues and you don't want to waste his efforts because it's very clear he's doing it because he loves you.
He doesn't like the idea that you can't depend on him because he also wants to feel like you trust him. Not trusting him hurts him to an extent so he's going to be a little insistent on getting you to let him take care of you. Once you start depending on him a little more you see how happy he is to just do these little things for you, giving you a soft smile when he thinks you can't see him.
#love and deepspace x reader#l&ds x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#xavier x reader#sylus x reader#l&ds zayne x reader#l&ds xavier x reader#l&ds rafayel x reader#l&ds sylus x reader#lnds zayne x reader#lnds xavier x reader#lnds rafayel x reader#lnds sylus x reader#lads zayne x reader#lads xavier x reader#lads rafayel x reader#lads sylus x reader
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tag vent tw
#codependence#i honestly thought my absolute everything was based on one relationship#based my entire life off of it#told myself id just stop things completely#id end it if i lost him#but now that it's finally happened... fuck#it still stings from time to time but the way things have gone has made me happier than ever#im still worried abt. i was out of a relationship for ages and desperate to get with anyone when i met him... i was feeling horrible and#crushing on what felt like everybody i met. it wasnt healthy#but i think the way things ended have ... made all the difference#i need to learn to love myself before im ready to love somebody else is what ive realized#i told myself so many times how badly i hate myself#how badly i want everything to stop and how badly i needed him to fight on#but now that its happened. ive learned a lot#ive learned so much in a week its really overwhelming#but i can do better#i can take what he gave me and make something amazing#it gives me some pride after all#i dont know if he hates me but#well#one day ill try to make him proud#i dont wanna end back up in that relationship issue but#im gonna learn how to take the whole fucking world on#how to love myself and to love the world#thank you#tw vent#toni morrison#song of solomon
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ive been so stressed about college recently ….
#and by recently i mean like Always#like i have absolutely no clue about anything in my life#i THOUGHT i did for a while. i thought i was gonna do something math related#but ive thought about different prospective majors/fields every year. or tbh every few months#the thing is im academically ‘smart’ which just means ive consistenly had good grades for a long time but i dont feel like im particularly#skilled at any subject. and i dont really have any passions that i want to pursue#my family already knows im not interested in law or medicine. but i dont want to disappoint them#and i dont want to be selfish and pick a major that im interested in but wont be helpful in the long run#because i want to be able to support my family#and i think that my family thinks i could handle stuff like law or med because of my grades#but i dont think i can handle anything like that#they sound really serious. and i genuinely dont think im mentally stable enough for that#i dont know want to do something ill end up hating but i dont want my family to hate me or call me spoiled or something :/#and dont even get me started on thinking about. how much it’ll cost#also for context my family is filipino and i think they all did something in stem#what if im actually just lazy. and im making a big deal out of nothing.
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“you still mad at me?” while balls deep with rafe 😵💫😵💫.
GODDDD U ATE W THIS PROMPT 😩 like my jaw dropped
rafe was always doing this.
he’d make empty promises, plans even — talk to you all sweet with a warm hand on your back whispering suggestion of “that was the last time i’m getting involved with all that crazy shit, baby. i swear. s’just me you n’me now, you hear me?” and you being the fool, believed him.
until of course you’re catching him pulling back up to the drive on his motorcycle, yanking his helmet off with that ill-tempered expression of his that just tells you enough that somethings gone on, you know, the one where his teeth are grit, lips pressed together like they’d been sewn shut. that’s not even where it ends, because often times barry is close behind, pulling up alone side so they can debrief loudly in the living room, stinking up the place with pot. even if you were mad, you know the rules. no coming down the stairs when barry’s over.
you almost had started to enjoy the feeling of sulking when rafe would eventually skulk up the stairs after barry had left, shoulders heavy and ready to grovel. naturally, you put up quite the fight — and what might surprise you is that rafe let’s you mouth off, even if he knows you don’t understand the importance of his situation and likely never will.
“again and again rafe! how many times am i gonna have to put up with you just running off to god knows where when you promise me you’re not doing all that anymore! you were supposed to be with me today!” you nearly stomp your foot, that last sentence coming out childishly like an abandoned middle child. he nods, jaw ticking as he stares at the ground scratching his forehead, waiting for his lashing to end. once the tears start to roll, that’s his queue. like clockwork.
“come on, hey. y’know i love you, sweetheart. i’m sorry, okay?” he rushes to your side, sliding right up next to you on the bed and thumbing at the first batch of tears on your cheek, his hand so large it cups your skull at the same time. you want to preen into his touch, so elated with any affection after a day of missing him, worrying about him — but you don’t, because you’re still mad. be strong, you tell yourself.
you’re weak. you hate yourself.
not even 10 minutes of your sobbing and complaining later and he’s got your legs over his broad shoulders, balls slapping lewdly against you whilst he all but pumps you. his hands that are on your waist, using you as leverage reposition themselves so that he’s holding himself up over you more. a large hand wraps gently around your ankle as he does so, making sure your leg doesn’t slide off the strong slopes of his shoulder.
squeals and more tears are being punched out of you with each thrust, but he can see you physically relaxing, he can see you reaching out to him with a wobbling bottom lip so that you can hold onto his arms like you always do when he fucks you. it’s neutralising you.
“fuck, that’s m’girl.” he pants, mouth gaping at the way your pussy flutters around him. you’re so reactive to his voice he can’t believe it, never having met anyone who is so enamoured with everything he does. shit, maybe he should treat you better after all. he keeps talking, because he thinks you deserve to cum a whole bunch tonight, after putting up with all his shit. having a girlfriends made him gone all soft.
“you still mad at me?” he tilts his head, and you’re not sure if it’s intended to be mean or mocking, because it certainly doesn’t come out that way — his voice kind and eyes kinder, rolling the well kept muscles in his core to grind his cock against that spongey spot deep within. you don’t answer his question, clinging onto that last crumb of dignity and restraint. you pout through your whimpers, turning your head a little. he takes that opportunity to burrow down into your neck, his open mouth panting against your tepid skin as he speaks lowly again. “dont be mad at me baby. i’m only tryna look after my girl, you want that right?”
“mhm…” you reply before you permit yourself.
he slides his arms under you now, letting your legs down from his shoulders to hook around his waist instead. he’s holding your body close to his as he grinds, his pelvis smushed against your clit, making your thighs tremble and suddenly you’re so god damn close it hurts and you’ll do anything to cum.
“so good to me, baby.” he sighs and you cry out, arching your body harder to his. “i know. let it out. i’m so bad to you sweetheart s’the least i can do.” he mutters self pityingly before letting out a groan, cock pulsing inside you. you remember thinking about how right he was about that when you fell over the edge into a white hot orgasm.
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