#i dont know that being said i should probably take a break for a bit
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electricpurrs · 1 year ago
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#i think ive been going way too overboard from what im actually comfortable with i dont actually like that#this is all weird and ive been acting weird and i feel bad maybe my mind has been way too foggy for me to. really think straight#like that sounds really dramatic i just feel weird and uncomfortable and wrong like my posts are weird and my attempts at talking#to people are weird and my conversations with my friends are weird#like im not acting like myself or im too out of it to remember how to act like myself#idk. i just dont wanna keep doing any of this but im not sure what ''any of this'' is#i got myself in some kind of spiral and im not having fun and i feel bad and gross and lame#i think im in an actual like bad mental health state#and i now im worried i have thousands of people following this damn blog and seeing my posts while im in a vulnerable state#and im acting erratic and weird and because i post my every thought in this website everybody is seeing me act erratic and weird#which just makes me much more anxious#i really hate how prone i am to letting my mental health make me act weird and how prone i am to over posting online due to a lack of#impulse control#and how i have an amount of followers that is way too large for it to be safe or healthy for me to be fucking myself over online#i am not minimally healthy or stable enough to keep my posture in front of a large audience and this should never have happened to me#i dont know that being said i should probably take a break for a bit#post less until i can get my head in place
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purple-imagines · 2 years ago
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Bloated?
Pairing - Paul Lahote x FemaleReader
Summary - Reader starts gaining weight and the pack starts noticing
Warnings - body shaming, kissing, swearing, pregnancy, vomiting, period talk, Jacob being an ass, kinda ooc
Word Count - 3693
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Masterlist
Friday, June 6th
"Em?" Y/N asked looking into the mirror at her stomach. "Does my stomach look, I dont know, bloated to you?"
"Um, yeah, maybe a little bit. I dont think it's anything to worry about though." The older woman replied, after looking at the girls stomach.
"I just feel like I'm getting fat. Paul probably notices too." She put her head down.
"Honey, that boy loves you more than anything. You're his whole world. You have nothing to worry about. He imprinted on you and he loves you. Now stop putting yourself down and help me make this food for them animals."
The girl laughed and started getting the table set.
Tuesday, June 10th
"Hm. That's weird."
"What?" Leah asked, the girl staying at her house.
"Nothing, just my period was supposed to start 3 days ago. I'm sure it's fine, this happens sometimes."
"If you're sure, and hurry up Elijah is about to kill Klaus."
Thursday, June 19th
The girl let out a groan, flushing the toilet after being woken up with the sudden urge to vomit.
Saturday, June 21st
All the girls, Emily, Leah, Kim, and Y/N, were all out shopping and having a girls day.
While Leah and Kim were looking through sets of bikinis. Y/N pulled Emily to the side.
"Em, I think I might be pregnant."
"What? Why do you think that??"
"Um, my periods late, my stomach looks bloated, and I've been throwing up. Not to mention Paul made my favorite dinner the other night and I couldn't stand the smell."
"We need to get you a test then, Hon."
***
After Leah and Kim left, Emily let Y/N go into the bathroom to take the test.
Coming out the bathroom, Y/N starts stressing. "What if its positive? What will Paul think? How do I deal with this?"
"Hey. Hey. Just breath. Let's first figure out if you're pregnant or not." Emily calmly says.
"Yeah, you're right." Taking a deep breath she starts to calm, until the timer goes off and her eyes get wide. "Can you check?"
Emily walks into the bathroom and looks at the test, coming out with tears in her eyes. "Um, yeah, you're pregnant"
"Oh mi gosh. Em, what am I supposed to do? Paul and I haven't even talked about kids. What if he doesn't want any?"
"Don't jump to conclusions. Take a couple days to think, and tell Paul when you're ready."
"Thank you, Emily. You always know what to say." The girl wraps her arms around the woman.
Wednesday, June 25th
The imprints made burgers and the pack was having a cookout. Everyone was making their plates. Y/N started to make her plate putting 2 burgers, each with cheese, tomato, onion, and chili. Put a little bit of slaw on the side and some chips.
"Dang girl, you're hungry today." Embry joked, making the girl laugh.
"He's not kidding you are eating a lot more lately." Jacob grumbled.
The girl got quiet and let out a silent "oh".
"What was that? Jacob." Paul growled.
"I'm just saying look at her Paul, everyone here notices how big she's getting. Maybe she should cut back."
After hearing that the girl started to stand up. Paul grabbing her hand. "Its fine, Paul. I'm just gonna go home."
She quietly grabbed her bag and apologized for the inconvenience. "Sorry, I didn't realize I did that. You can have them." Then she walked out the house. Leah chasing after her.
"What the fuck Jacob?!" Paul yelled.
"Paul." Sam warned.
"No Sam. He called her fat, she's not fat."
"We don't need a fight to break out."
"If he didn't want a fight he wouldn't have said anything."
"Paul. Enough."
Paul was shaking horribly. Sam pushed him out the house.
"Really Jacob?!" Jared called, running after Sam and Paul.
"Why is everyone so mad? I just told her how it was. You all can see how much bigger she's getting." Jacob tried to justify himself.
"That doesn't mean that you point it out." Seth told him.
"I know you were all thinking it. Just because I have the guts to tell Paul how it is doesn't make me the bad guy."
"Maybe you should learn the whole story before you go around hurting people."
"Seth. What's that supposed to mean? Seth!"
Seth ran out the house, hoping to find Leah and Y/N.
"Embry? Even you said something."
"I was joking Jake. What you did was uncalled for." Embry scoffed.
"Come on."
"Just stop Jacob." Emily snapped, causing the three left there to widen there eyes.
"Emily. Seriously? You know she's bigger!" Jacob was getting angry.
"Yeah, Jacob. She's eating more and getting bigger, but it's none of your business!" Emily snapped again.
"What if eating so much is hurting her?"
"It's not though, Jacob."
"How do you know??"
"Jacob when she is ready you'll know. Until then shut up."
"Sorry, damn."
***
"Y/N!"
"Y/N"
"Damn, you're fast."
"What do you want Leah?" Y/N sighed as she stopped and turned around, her eyes red and puffy.
"Don't listen to Jacob. He's an asshole."
"I don't care about what Jake said."
"You do or you wouldn't be crying."
"He called me fat Leah. I've never been called that before." She started to tear up. "And it's not even that I'm fat."
"What is it then?"
"Leah...I'm pregnant."
"What!? That's great news."
"Yeah, except for the fact everyone thinks I'm a pig now."
"They do not. If anyone's a pig it's Jacob. Now come on, you need the feed that little one."
***
"Paul!"
"Calm down!"
"Shift back!"
Sam phased into his wolf.
"Paul!"
"He's such an asshole." Paul snarled.
"You need to shift back. Calm down."
"I'm going to rip his throat out."
"Paul!"
"Come on Paul. She needs you." Jared joined.
"I'm trying! I can't control it."
"Calm your thoughts. Breath."
Paul started to shift back, pulling up his shorts in the process. Jared and Sam following shortly after.
***
"Y/N/N! Are you ok? You know Jake doesn't mean to be an ass." Seth tried to reassure the girl.
The girl laughed and grabbed Seth's hands. "Yes. I'm good. Thank you for checking up on me."
It was quiet for a few moments as the trio started walking back to the house. "So..." Seth piped up. "Does she know?"
Leah gasped. "What?! Know?! You told Seth before you told me!"
"He wasn't supposed to find out! He walked in on me having a meltdown about Paul." Y/N defended herself.
"Shit." The girl squeaked. "Paul! He's going to be asking questions. What am I supposed to tell him! I'm not ready. I just found out myself. I need to process this more. Stupid Jacob and his stupid big mouth!"
"Hey! Hey. Just breathe. Paul will understand if you don't want to talk." Leah reassured.
"Are you sure? Because Paul-"
Seth cut the girl off. "She's sure Y/N/N. He wouldn't pressure you into telling him something you don't want to. Now let's go eat I'm sure Little Bit in there is starving."
Both girls let out laughs.
"Um, guys, actually I was just going to go home. I don't wanna face Jacob's apologizes right now."
"Y/F/N you need to eat." Leah demanded.
"Just bring me something when you're finished? Please."
Leah sighed, knowing she wasn't changing the girls decision. "Fine. But you better eat everything I bring you."
"Pinky promise." She held up both her pinkies to Seth and Leah, Seth grabbing her pinky with his, giggling. Leah rolled her eyes, but nevertheless did the same.
"And..." The girl trailed. "Tell Paul that I took his truck. And that I'm ok?"
"So needy." Leah joked, dragging the 'y'.
"But fine I can do that."
"Thank you! You two are the best!"
"We know." They both said at the same time, causing the trio to laugh.
***
Back at home, the girl, took off her shoes and changed into pajama shorts and one of Paul's shirts.
Turning on her and Leah's favorite show to watch, 'The Vampire Diaries'. It was nice to watch people play supernatural creatures. Got their minds off of the real ones that loomed outside.
***
"Finally!" Was the first thing Leah and Seth heard as they walked through the door into Emily's and Sam's.
"Where's Y/N?" Was the second.
Leah was the one to tell Paul the situation.
"So, you just let her leave?" Paul said.
"Yes. She is a grown woman Paul." Leah retorted.
"She didn't even eat."
"I told her I would bring her something."
"I think I should go over there."
"No, you shouldn't." Sam butted in.
"And why not?!"
"Because Paul you just shifted you don't need to do that around her."
"I wouldn't hurt her." Paul glared.
"That's not the point. I said no and my answer is final. You will not go over to Y/N's tonight." Using his alpha voice, making Paul growl and leave the table.
***
"Is it bad that I'm kind of glad Sam did that?" The girl let out to her best friend.
"Yes!" Leah exclaimed.
"I just- I don't know what I would say to him."
"Your fear of confrontation is peeking through."
"Leah! This is serious."
"And I'm being serious. Paul deserves to know."
"I know. I'm just..." The girl let out a sigh. "Scared."
"You should never be scared with him. He looks at you like you're his sun. The thing that is keeping him alive."
"What if he doesn't want a baby? What if this is the one thing he can't handle with me." She whispered.
"That boy would love to start a family with you. The timing may not be ideal, but I've seen the way he looks at you. I saw the way he looked at you before the imprint. You are his literal everything and not just because fate decided you were destined. You were meant to have forever with each other way before fate decided it."
Y/N had tears in her eyes by the time Leah had finished. "I really needed that Leah." She sniffled. "I guess, sometimes, my insecurities take over. I've just been so scared, with the vampires and Bella. There's no time for a baby. Not in his life. He already has so much on him. Why do I need to add more?"
"Quit putting yourself down. You know you come first, when it comes to anything with Paul. A baby is not a burden, or something that just adds pressure. A baby can bring joy and bring people together. Maybe that's what we all need right now."
"Yeah. Maybe you're right."
"No maybe about it. I am right."
"Oh so modest." The girls giggled.
Thursday, June 26th
Awoken to heavy knocks on the front door, both girls growned, having stayed up most of the night talking.
"Y/N. Get the door." Leah grumbled.
"Why me?" The girl whined.
"It's your house."
"You kept me up all night."
"You mean you kept me up all night."
"No."
"Just open the door."
"Fine." She whined, pushing herself out of bed, looking at the clock on her nightstand that read 8:07 am.
Stomping to the door, grumbling profanities the whole way. She pulled the door open only to be greeted with-
"Paul?"
"Hey! I couldn't sleep without making sure you were ok. Jacob was an asshole. He never should have said those untrue things. I love your body and you should too. I think you're beautiful, inside and out. I don't care that you can eat two burgers, I love a woman that can hold her food. Yo-"
"Paul." She cut him off. "As sweet as this is, can we do it later? I'm sorry. Leah kept me up until 5 this morning and all I wanna do is curl up and take a hundred year nap."
"Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Want a cuddle buddy?" A smirk slowly rising on his face.
"You know I could never turn you down." She grinned pulling him inside and onto the couch.
***
By the time the girl woke Paul was already gone, a note in his place, telling her he had patrol but would be back after.
Leah was gone too, so the girl assumed the pack needed her as well.
Grabbing some clothes, she went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.
***
After a much needed shower, Y/N looked out the window and noticed Paul's truck still in the driveway and his keys still on her nightstand.
Grabbing the keys, and getting in the truck, she started her drive to Emily's.
***
"Hey Em." She called, walking inside.
"Heyyyy." Said girl peeked her head out the kitchen. "I need to talk to you."
"Ok, nothing stressful about that sentence at all."
"Have you told Paul?"
"Diving right in, I see." She muttered.
"Huh?" Emily called from the kitchen.
"Oh! Uh- no I haven't."
"Do you know when you're going to? Because I think you should soon, it'll make all this doubt you have go away."
"I don't know. Soon though, promise!"
Tuesday, July 7th
Everyone was gathered around Emily and Sam's table, laughing and joking around. Well, everyone except Jacob he was upset with Bella, which made him brood.
Y/N sat beside Paul, occasionally stealing the tomatoes off his plate, he always put them to the side for her to grab because they were her favorites and he wasn't that fond of them.
Going unnoticed by the pack and the imprints, everytime she'd take one Jacob would roll his eyes and scoff.
Grabbing the last one of Paul's plate and about to put it in her mouth she was stopped by Jacob's rude voice.
"Are you serious?" He scoffed.
Everyone looked around confused as to what his sudden outburst was about.
"Everything ok, Jacob?" Emily asked.
Jacob let out a little laugh and clicked his tongue.
This time Y/N spoke up.
"Are you upset, Jacob?"
"Me? What? No." He paused. "I do think Paul should be though."
"Why would Paul be upset?" You furrowed your eyebrows.
"Because his girlfriend has already had more than enough, but she's still eating. And not just that but taking it off his plate. Do you really need that much food Y/N? All it does is make you fatter, which is definitely not something you need. If anything you need to exercise more." He spat at her.
His outburst caused Kim and Emily to let out gasps. Jared and Paul standing up.
Paul had his mouth open about to say something but before he could Y/N interrupted.
"Paul. It's fine. He can feel the way he feels. I'm just gonna go home."
"No you're not." Emily piped in. "Jacob if you could please leave."
"What?" Jacob exclaimed.
"I asked if you could leave, I expect you to use respect in my house and until I see you give some to Y/N I want you to leave."
"She's not even apart of the pack."
"She's an imprint. We are apart of this pack, now are you gonna apologize or did I need to get Paul to escort you out?"
Jacob scuffed, "I'm sorry I called you fat, it may be true but it was not nice of me to say."
Paul was fuming, "I accept your apology"
"No she doesn't." Paul vented.
"Paul, it's fine I don't wanna cause a fight."
"You're not causing the fight. He is."
"He apologized. That's enough. Let's finish eating, then I have to tell you something."
***
"You wanted to tell me something?" Paul said, as he drove them home.
"Can it wait? I'm really tired and just wanna go to sleep."
"Of course, Sweetheart." He kisses her temple.
Thursday, July 9th
"I'm telling him."
All three girls let out simultaneous screams.
"Finally!" Emily exclaimed.
"Took you long enough" Leah joked.
"I still can't believe you're pregnant." Kim gasped.
"Well maybe I should wait a little longer, maybe until August?" Y/N let out a cheeky grin.
"No!" All three girls yelled.
The guys were on patrol and the imprints had the house to themselves. There was a knock at the door.
The girl laughed as she got up to get the door.
"Are you expecting anyone?" Leah questioned Emily.
"No." Emily whispered out.
"Y/N don't answer that." Leah called.
"Guys I invited someone." Y/N answered back.
"Who? We're your only friends." Leah joked.
Y/N opened the door, only for Bella to be standing awkwardly on the other side.
"Hi! Come in. Come in."
"No." Leah deadpanned.
"I thought it would be nice. Jacob really likes her."
"Why do you care what Jacob thinks? He's an ass."
"He wasn't always one. And a friend of Jake's is a friend of ours."
"Well, I think it was nice of Y/N to invite Bella. Make yourself at home Bella, the guys shouldn't be back for a while so it's just us girls. Right now we're just talking but later we're baking!" Emily clapped.
"Ok." Bella squeaked out.
"I don't think we've met. I'm Kim." She introduced herself.
"Bella." She said and waved.
"Well sit down, come on." Emily waved her over. "You ok if we still talk about.."
"Of course! As long as you promise not to tell the guys." Y/N put on her best serious face and looked Bella dead in her eyes.
"I barely talk to them."
"You can't tell Jacob."
"I won't tell Jacob."
"Ok..well I'm pregnant, the baby is Paul's and I haven't told him yet."
"Omg. Congratulations."
"Thank you! I'm kinda in this adrenaline thing right now and I'm hoping it won't wear off by the time Paul gets here." The girls giggled.
"So. Boys!" Emily exclaimed. "Jared?"
"We're really good. He's the greatest. The other day he tried to make me breakfast in bed, he got up really early, my parents were out of town, word of advice Em, never and I mean ever let Jared in the kitchen. It was sweet though he brought me fried eggs and bacon, only all of it was black." Kim laughed at the memory. "And I have a burnt spot on the wall in my kitchen, he still won't tell me what happened."
"He's such a klutz."
"But he makes it so adorable!"
The girls laughed at how in love she was.
"I already told y'all all my boy struggles." Y/N threw her hands up. "What about Sam?" She wiggled her eyebrows, causing the girls to let out giggles.
"Sam is..." Emily let out a sigh, "Sam is perfect. The wedding is soon, as you all know. But enough about me I wanna know about your love life Leah. Oh, and Bella would you like anything to drink, we've got wine and water, sorry not much."
"I'm good. Thank you." Bella muttered, still awkward.
"Leahhhh. Love life. Go." Emily may be a little tipsy.
"Can't talk about something that's non-existent."
"Leah don't lie. We're all friends here." Y/N blurted out.
"Fine. I did meet this girl....but that's all I'm saying!"
Emily and Kim let out pouts while Y/N laughed, maybe letting them have wine was a bad idea.
"You." Emily pointed at Bella.
"Me?" Bella questioned.
"Yes. How's your vamp?"
"Oh, um- he's nice, I guess."
"No. I need more than nice."
"He's really good at dancing." Bella shrugged.
"I need more." Emily begged.
Maybe Bella should of said yes to that wine.
***
It had been a good four hours and 4 out of 5 of the girls were more than tipsy. The 5th one just laughing her ass off at her friends.
The guys were in for a surprise when they came in. There was flour everywhere. In places where flour shouldn't be.
The girls were sitting in a circle in the kitchen, giggling, waiting on their cookies and brownies and muffins to be done. They got a little over board.
Then the door opened and the girls went silent. Sam walked through the door to be met with flour and baking ingredients all over the table and counters, along with 3 empty bottles of wine. He could hear whispers in the kitchen.
"Maybe if we stay really quiet they won't realize we're here." Emily whispered. The other girls giggling. "Shhhhh."
Sam peered over into the kitchen, watching the five girls huddle down, not noticing he was there. Hearing the guys he quieted them letting them look.
Emily peered up seeing the guys watch them causing her to squeak and the other girls to look up.
Each guy had an amused look on his face, watching the girls.
"Welp, grab one." Sam called.
Sam scooped Emily up into his arms, causing her to let out of squeal.
Jared did the same to Kim, and Jacob to Bella. Seth grabbed his sister, and Paul grabbed Y/N.
"Paul, wait, I have to tell you something" Y/N said. "I'm not drunk. I can't even drink."
He took the girl and sat her down outside. She stood in front of him, and he gave her a look to continue.
Hearing loud noises coming from the house, they both looked over only to see all four girls watching them with wide grins on their faces.
"What is happening?" Paul asked, with a confused smile.
In the background you could hear the girls screaming with excitement.
"Here goes nothing. Paul..."
"Yes."
"I'm pregnant."
Paul's face was pure shock, all the girls in the background screaming and cheering.
"We're gonna have a baby?"
"Yeah. We're gonna have a baby. It's why I've been getting bigger, as Jacob so kindly reminds me."
"I'll kill him if you want me to."
"I know you would."
"I have a question."
"Shoot."
"Why is the leech lover here?"
"I invited her. She's actually really nice. I get why Jacob likes her."
"I can't believe we're going to have a baby."
"Me neither."
"I love you so much."
"I love you too."
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cheatsykoopa98 · 8 months ago
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1 AM ramble but someone just pointed out to me you can see zooble's room in their pin wrapping background
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not only do we get to see what their room looks like, we also get an official look of the zooble box, and a mirror for them to look at themself. now I think this might be important. pomni had a scene in ep 1 where she looks at the mirror in disbelief that she looks like that now, and we know zooble changes their parts every day. I think caine did that to "help" zooble with figuring out their gender identity, which maybe or not be helping, considering what I hear of people experiencing gender dysphoria not liking to see themselves in the mirror.
and I do think the mirror is important, we get to see a little bit of the others' bedrooms as well, kaufmo, ragatha and gangle's, and none of them have mirrors from what I can see. maybe caine noticed pomni looking in the mirror and thought pomni might want one in her room just like zooble, not realizing pomni probably hates to look in the mirror and not see herself
also lets look at the other characters bedrooms
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ragatha seems to be very tidy (assuming everyone has to clean up their rooms and considering how messy pomni's room is) and not have that much stuff. a box of toys that she might or not play with considering its positioned as a seat for the piano. we dont know if she knows how to play (according to goose she knows the cello, so she could know the piano as well) and having so little fingers in her hand might actually not let her play the piano properly. caine could have just heard she likes music and put a piano in her room. also notice the piano is in the middle of the room taking center stage and we cant see a bed (yet). ragatha has mentioned nobody needs to sleep even though they can. do you think she (tries to) play the piano at night while everyone else assumedly sleeps? there is a song sheet at the piano but I cant read if it has an actual song name written on it.
also she has a shelf full of things that might be of her interest or template things caine put there. like balls of yarn, books, a gloink (how did she have a gloink before ep 1?) and a framed picture, which if it has an actual photo of someone there could open up a lot of theories to who is there. also the gloink being there points to either ragatha having already lived through a gloink adventure and keeping one in her room or keeping one after an adventure where she was hurt by kaufmo and abandoned by pomni. why would she want to keep it if thats the case?
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gangle's room is very dark with black walls. we cant see much but I believe she is in a really deeper depression than pomni. I believe to the point where she doesnt have the energy to try to escape, just mask as much as she can before her happy mask is broken again, poor gangle :/
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we dont get to see kinger or jax's room, even though I think there is a kinger door in the corridor. maybe kinger is too paranoid to sleep in his room. jax's only shows his door with the void breaking into view. maybe we wont get to see his room until the very end. also I remember there was a theory jax knows where the exit is, but doesnt leave. I dont think its true considering goose said jax deserves to be stuck in the circus, implying he cant leave just like everyone, but since he "has keys to everywhere", what if he has been to the void without caine knowing? pomni never made it through the end but if jax did, maybe what he saw there pushed him to be how he is now. maybe he doesnt see hope in escaping and thats why he turns into such a bad person, he could be a nihilist in that way
anyway sorry for the long post, I just had a bunch of ideas popping up in my head from this little detail I should have noticed when pomni's pin was released
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not only do we get to see her room but we also see the blocks spelling CBA, not sure if the B is supposed to count or not but its the second time pomni is associated with C&A, I do believe she was an employee there
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riorsonxaden · 11 months ago
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Yall are delusional if you think Nesta is going to leave Cassian or the night court. First, they are mated. Not just mates. Mated. They accepted the bond, and SJM loves her Heas. It's a done deal. So either keep reading and deal with it or drop the series and find something you enjoy. Not to mention if they even could break the bond, how empty and broken Nesta would be for eternity. You really want that for her?
HOFAS happened three months after acosf. There's still alot of healing on Nesta’s part. Just because she saved Rhys, Feyre, and Nyx doesn't mean things are swept under the rug with them. Her and Cassian are both fiery and stubborn. They are going to have arguments. Honestly, it's perfectly normal for them to argue on occasion.
This. What Nesta did in HOFAS. Went beyond her and Cassian, beyond Rhys. This was a decision that Nesta should not have made herself. Yes I understand that she saw Bryce's desperation and understood her. She probably put herself in Bryces shoes for a moment. She took a chance. But it's a huge fucken chance because they don't know nor trust Bryce fully. And if she failed the whole of Prythian/Midgard is fucked. They have nothing to defend themselves against the weaponry Rigelus has. They will all die. Including Nesta Archeron.
Rhys had every right to scold her. And Her saying he's not her High Lord isn't accurate. She lives in his lands. Whether she wants to admit it or not. If any of the courts got wind of what was happening with Bryce or that Nesta gave this mask up to a stranger from another world do you know who would be faulted? Not Nesta. Rhys and Feyre would. They would suffer the consequences because Nesta falls under their lands. Their rule.
And now Cassian, who apparently had never defended Nesta once. Again. Nesta was In. The. Wrong. Her actions were beneficial and understandable but wrong. Cassian being upset and disappointed in her would absolutely make sense. Think of times in TOG, when Rowan wasn't happy with Aelin. He stood there silent until they were alone. That's more than likely what happened. Cassian didn't say his piece until everyone left. It's an argument between Nesta and Cassian and no one else.
That argument. The one that happened off page yet everyone wants to fucking crucify Cassian over cause you think you know what he said. When in reality you don't. Is wild. Three months ago, when she was with Emerie and Gwyn, they were taken and placed in the Blood Rite where he was helpless in going to her. He lost her briefly in the bog, watched her put her life at risk. How many times in acosf? He went a year or so watching Nesta absolutely ruin herself, had her lay over his body in front of Hybern, almost losing her, them, then too. Now, someone, a stranger and someone potentially dangerous, opened a portal in his living room where his mate was. And he wasn't there. All that trauma and ptsd he keeps on lock was blown wide open.
So now Cassian is a storm of emotions when he arrives home. Probably arrived mid argument between Nesta and Rhys, and the entire flight was given brief details of what's happening fueling his emotions. His fear, trauma, concern, disappointment, and anger. When Rhys leaves, Cassian and Nesta got into it. Sure he was pissed about the mask anyone would be. I would be. I personally think it goes on beyond that. Far beyond it. Nesta’s life, once again, was put a risk and no one knew what Bryce wanted. Cassian’s worst fear when the portal was open, was Bryce taking Nesta and never seeing her again. All that came out in their fight.
As readers, we know Bryce's intentions are good. They as characters who haven't been given the best view of Bryce dont believe it. Yes, I do think there needs to be more trust in Nesta. Especially where Rhys is considered. Cassian, as her mate, blowing things out of proportion is logical cause all mates have done it at some point. But yeah he needs to trust her a bit more too. He trusts her more than Rhys does that's for sure.
To play devil's advocate, I could be wrong on Cassian and Nesta and their fight. Absolutely. Im not Sarah. But neither are you who are wishing he dies, and Nesta leaves him over a risk that was never hers to make alone when it involves the whole world of Midgard.
If you read this entire thing and disagree. That's cool. The unfollow and block buttons are right there.
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AITA for "unknowingly" cheating on my girlfriend?
🤍🍇 so i recognize post
preface: yes i am, theres no excuse, i just want to hear more ppl's thought because different ppl in my life have very different opinions on this??? even though i think cheating is cut and dry?
earlier this year, i (20nb, tho i was 19 at the time) was in a purely monogamous relationship with my ex (19f). there were ups and downs, i had some issues that i really shouldve talked to her about, but overall it was the best experience. id never dated anybody before. she's the only person who ive ever loved in that way. i think shes the best person, funny, smart. i was really lucky to have her.
i have another friend, who i'll call H (21f), who has been my friend for years. we're really close, and we've shared a lot with each other. i also love her deeply, though in a different, entirely platonic way. she has told me that she loves me, and has loved me in romantic ways, even though i've never reciprocated (im fine with that, everyone in my main friend group is a little bit polyamorous).
there were two main incidents that happened between me and H. the first, i didnt really understand what was going on or that it was entirely wrong. we were cuddling, which i do with all of my friends, and she started getting really into it and getting on top of me. she asked if she could kiss me (on the lips) and i said no, partly because, well, i had a monogamous partner, and partly because i hate kissing on the lips. i probably shouldve entirely cut it off at that moment. my only excuse (which is pretty flimsy) is that, im kinda aroace so physical affection and the difference between platonic and romantic have always left me a little confused. i kinda thought this was normal, especially because H is polyamorous and in several relationships that heavily blur the lines between platonic and romantic.
then, about two weeks after that, H and i hung out again, but this time we were smoking marijuana. weed makes me highly suggestible and also incapable of remembering anything past about five seconds. not that im blaming the drugs, just describing the situation. basically, H and i were cuddling again when she decided to move on top of me and got flirty, with a lot of touching sensitive places for the purpose of getting a reaction (all above the belt). i went along with this because i respect H, ive known her for a long time, and i didnt want to say no to her. again, not an excuse, because she didnt force me to do it.
in the moment, i didnt think this was cheating. we werent doing anything explicitly sexual, we weren't making out, but we were definitely frisky and i know H was horny at the time. a couple hours later, when i sobered up, i suddenly realized what we had done and asked H if i had just cheated on my girlfriend. she also seemed to realize what had just happened and we agreed that i had cheated, that it was entirely wrong, and we should never do it again.
i decided to tell my ex about this immediately, because i thought she should know. i asked if she was in a position to hear bad news, and when she was, i was completely honest. she obviously didnt take it well, mentioning how she felt like she could never trust me again despite being the person she trusted most in the world. she loved me but this was unacceptable and a huge violation. i agreed, and after a bit of thinking, i told her that i thought we should break up. i had terrible guilt about what i'd done and assumed that we'd never recover, and it didnt seem like she could pull the plug, so i did.
she proceeded to get even more mad at me because of this, which in hindsight is completely understandable. from her perspective, i had just dropped two emotional bombs on her, and maybe i was implying that i liked H more than her. i wasnt, and i dont, but i know why it came across that way.
my other friends agreed with me that i shouldve broken up with her after that. in hindsight, i dont know if it was the right choice. i miss her dearly and wish i had worked more on the relationship.
we've since talked about it. i told her that i still loved her (bc i do, very deeply, and i dont know if i'll ever get over her) but said that i dont expect anything, dont expect a relationship, etc. she was okay with this because, in her words, she trusts me to not make it a big deal or awkward. we hang out frequently now, we watch anime together, and we get along well as friends. i feel so lucky that she is willing to spend time with me, that she still enjoys my company even a little bit.
the confusing part is that i told my dad about this and he basically said, "you were 19yo in a long distance, online-only relationship. this was inevitable and you shouldnt feel too bad about it. it was wrong but not the worst thing ever." i dont really agree with that, because it was a pretty serious relationship despite being online. we even met up at a convention and spent several nights together in a hotel. it was the happiest weekend of my life. i thought i could marry her maybe someday. and i dont think being 19yo justifies it. 13yo maybe, but i was old enough to know right from wrong, even if my knowledge about romantic and sexual relationships was underdeveloped.
basically, im looking for nuanced opinions. i fully expect the results to be YTA. im hoping ppl can give me any sort of insight in the comments.
PS: H is partially to blame bc she knew i was in a monogamous relationship but please dont hate on her too much in the comments, we've had a lot of talks about this and what happened drastically changed the way the both of us see relationships and each other. basically, she learned her lesson and she was never trying to be a bitch or a homewrecker. i know her well enough to know shes a good person at heart. she's also not on tumblr to see any of your comments. direct all of you criticism towards me, please.
What are these acronyms?
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mrs-monaghan · 1 year ago
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Hello Shaz
I would love to hear your opinion on 3D and all the talk around it
My thoughts on the talk around it is; "wow, well this is a load of garbage" (no offence to any friends I may have who don't like the song I just disagree that its a terrible song)
Alright. 3D. Let's talk. My thoughts. First, what's with the fucking homeless trousers??
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I hate rich people 😭😭😭😭 if I wear this people will wonder why I didn't go back home to change after I fell in mud 😪
Anyhu, before i even say a thing. We should probably all try to remember that JK said this
(Thanks @chicknbunny13)
Yeah sure, even if he doesn't write a song, he may resonate with it. But not everything he does is a reflection of his actual life. This one, is for the Jikook antis btw. This is why my anons are still off. People, I dont have the energy for antis rn. JK sang 'girl' so what? This topic is super old and tired and consider it officially retired from this blog. I'm sooooo over it 🥱🥱🥱🥱
Now that we have that out of the way let's tackle the fact that our JK is a grown, grown adult. I don't need to bring back the live where he told people he's an adult and he is almost 30 and he will do what he wants to do. And if he wants to sing about this, that's exactly what he will sing about.
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Oh my,
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Even Jimin knows all about it
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Tweet
BAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!
Let is be known i am choosing to take that sentence literally. I think JK just means him, the girl, with champagne and confetti. I really don't think it means anything else here. But, seeing as this is another sex song, I won't put it past him.
Anyone else notice a recurring theme here?
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Okay then. 😳
Also shout out to this random kid with the horse
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I can't be the only one who has no clue what his point was 😂😂😂
While we are on the champagne topic,
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I mean....
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Make no mistake, SEVEN and 3D are singing about the same thing. If SEVEN was in your face, 3D is subtle. But they are both just talking about sex here. Which is why it doesn't make sense to me why people are so upset??? As a person who likes Harlow and has heard his songs before, this did not shock me one bit. There is nothing wrong with this song. It is meaningless and shallow but guess what, thats the type of music the GP is listening to rn. I understand why Asians have an issue with this line
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And I can respect that. I don't have to understand it, but if Asians say its offensive, then its offensive. In which case I think that's just ignorance on Harlow's part. The people behind the song and JK himself are not going to okay something degrading. So it is of my opinion that people are reading too much, way too much into something that aint even meant to be deep.
It's a song, about sex. The only thing deep about it, is the holes that will be getting penetrated.
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This song doesn't require to be analysed. Okay, maybe when trying to decipher the analogies being used but that's it. JK has one agenda and one agenda only; release music that the general public will devour, get his name out there and be a huge pop star. And it is working.
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Cue Boracity's new video about each member and who their target audience are for each solo project
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JK did not write these songs. If he did I'm sure they would have more meaning. But that's not what he's aiming for rn. Right now the man just wants to put out something that he knows will sell. Wants to put out something that will be a hit. And 3D is exactly that. Just like SEVEN. Mans was asked for the meaning of the song and by his answer, I'm not sure even he knows.
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What??
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Did anyone understand that???? If you did, break it down for me coz I did NOT understand that 😂😂
This song has no meaning. Its shallow, catchy, easy to remember and move to. Enough with trying to complicate shit! It ain't that deep. Period.
JK cared more about the choreo.
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While Jack is calling himself a whore for wanting 4 women, JK is busy dancing throughout. So I will listen to JK and enjoy the song and choreo. Because there is nothing in the lyrics and there was never intended to be.
Idk why y'all mad when we stan a consent king:
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Personally I dont have time to be angry because 1) i see no reason to be, and 2) i am too busy admiring JK's body proportions 🤤🤤
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Damn, Jimin's man is hot!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
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carriesthewind · 2 years ago
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i know very little about law, but im gonna be honest, i feel a bit bad for the loduca guy. is it a good look to sign a coworkers work without looking? absolutely not, they are paid to be anal about this stuff. but it feels like such a human thing to do, if you worked with someone for 25+ years, and never had a significant reason to doubt their work, to just kind of visually skim over the thing, and then sign and stample, bc you trust the guy.
and yeah maybe you saw he was having some issues with this case, the opposite side/judge asking for some documents they cant find and therefore think are fabricated, but again, you trust your coworker, trust that they did the job and this is a mistake not on his part, and you probably have your own workload to worry about, your own cases, so you think little of it. idk, while a bit lazy (bad look) it feels like something that would happen at an office, you know?
that being said ive got a feeling those people are not going to be practicing law quite soon. more so i dont recall if the law firm was one of theirs, but i assume even if it's not, it will have a very hard time recovering from this
A bit of a long and rambling answer here on just my own thoughts on the matter, so I'm putting it below the cut!
I do feel some sympathy for him...for the first opposition brief. My sympathy vanishes once he submitted the fake "opinions" to the court.
Because I absolutely get trusting your colleague, especially if you have worked with him for so long. And as lawyers, it is a really serious thing to sign a submission to the court that you haven't at least read - but it is also very a very human thing to do. People, including lawyers, cut corners and make errors all the time.
But part of his problem isn't just that he was skimming and signing something - when you sign a submission as an attorney, you are making a very real (and legally binding - that's the point of Rule 11) promise to the court. LoDuca is still listed as Mata's counsel of record (and his only counsel of record in this case). He told the court that he was representing this dude, and he never really was.
I saw someone - I think on twitter? - say he was covering up for Schwartz practicing law without a license. Which is technically true! But it's also - come on, there is (usually) a practical, if not ethical, difference between letting some random pretend to be lawyer by signing and submitting their documents without supervision, and signing and submitting documents for a colleague in a jurisdiction they aren't admitted to without going through the steps of having him formally act as local counsel, when you know the end result would be the same if you walked through the formal steps. I want to be clear - the second thing is not okay at all, and is very much against the rules. But, I am also 100% confident he's not the only person doing it, and I can the the way that someone would feel like it was a justifiable bending, not breaking of the rules.
But even then, the problem is that as attorneys, we are (supposed to be) held to a high ethical standard. I said this in an earlier post, but when an attorney makes representations to the court, the court takes those very seriously, because we are assumed to be following those ethical standards. If I make a legal or factual representation in a courtroom, there can be immediate and real consequences for people's lives.
It's a self-licensing and a self-policing profession, and we what we do has very serious consequences both on a societal and individual level. Even in a simple case like this originally was, a personal injury negligence case brought by an individual - the complaint says the plaintiff suffered serious, disabling injuries and has been prevented from working, and he is seeking compensation for his medical care and his inability to work. If that's true, this case is about (should have been about) who paid for that needed medical care, the necessities of life.
And I think this case is an example of why those rules can matter - sure, most of the time, someone doing what LoDuca was won't get caught, and maybe it won't matter practically. But part of the reasons we have those rules is to try to prevent - well maybe not this bullshit precisely - bullshit like this from happening. "Other people break the rules too and don't get caught" isn't an excuse.
But again, it still is a very human kind of error, so I still have sympathy. The real problem, for me, is the submission of the fake opinions.
Because once he got the order from the court ordering him to provide copies of the opinions or the case would be dismissed, he must have known something was wrong. That is not a normal order to receive. That order means the court (which has access to all the legal research tools he doesn't) thinks something is very seriously wrong. If he did not read that order and immediately go "Oh fuck" and a) read the defendant's reply and b) realize the cases seem to have been fake, he is not competent to practice law. And I mean that in a very serious way - he has no business practicing in the field with such serious consequences for people's lives if he didn't immediately recognize the problem.
So once he got that order, he has no excuse. At that point, he either consciously perpetrated a lie upon the court; or he is too incompetent to practice.
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volturiprincess · 7 months ago
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im feeling sad today but this will make me crack a smile
how would the romanians react if their mates (separate) make them a joke about breaking up
but these poor dudes dont realise its a joke and their dead heart is breaking
Sorry it took me a while to get it out😅. I was between doing a HC or a like short one-shot (or drabble🤷‍♀️) but I hope this makes up for it. I added a twist with both of them because I couldn't bare to be to mean with them. But enjoy💙 (forgot to mention I might of added a little HP reference🤭)
Breaking up w/ them Prank
Warning: Some foul language and slight mention of smut (just a kiss)
Vladimir:
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“Vlad? We need to talk”
The way his gaze slowly turned to me looked almost as if he were possessed in a horror movie. Why must I be so mean to him? We were literally relaxing in our mini library but I was thinking about pranking him for a while. It's been too quiet and without Stefan around to help me prank Vlad, so it's been up to me.
“What is it?”
Here it goes.
“I don't know if you feel it too but lately I feel like we don't have a strong connection”
He literally had the most confused look to mankind. Probably trying to recollect any moment where the bond might of ripped
“What do you mean? We are literally mates, our bond is greater than any of those silly human relationships”
“Well I don't know how to explain it but I just don’t think I can see forever with you”
Oh no his face draped, oh gosh is it too late to take back in what I said? No stop, he looks like a kicked puppy. Oh no his eyes are shimmering even, I have never seen him like this.
“W-what? B-but we been together for a year, your my mate, my everything, your my forever”
Alright keep it together. 
“Well I just grown tired, I just dont think I can be in this forever, I don't even want to be a Vampire, I want to have a normal life”
“I see then…well the door is over there, you can see yourself out”
Wait what? Is he being serious, i'm just joking Vlad but he looks serious now. The shimmering eyes he had earlier are gone and he had his classic bored resting face. He got up and started to reach for another book but I threw myself at him, clutching him like my life depended on it. 
“No Vlad please, I was just joking you're the light of my life, of course I see forever with you, the moment you came to my life everything was finally clear”
He looked down at you with a small smirk, and at that moment I knew he was fucking with me.
“You foul evil little cockroach, you were messing with me?” “You started it with that ridiculous prank of yours”
“Fair”
“Next time you want to pull a prank like that on me, make sure the day before you dont have my tongue down your throat”
Blushing at his comments “Yes Vlad”
What an idiot he can be but he’s my idiot.
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Stefan:
Alright it's been too quiet these past few days, Vladimir hasn't thrown a tantrum and my lovely mate went off to pick me up some food. Usually me and him are pranking each other but we haven't done anything in a while. Which leads me to my genius idea of doing a break up prank on him. It's been on my mind lately so why not. I go to our favorite place to cuddle, the sunroom, and pace back and forth to set up the prank. 
I hear the front door open and I hear his voice
“Darling i'm home”
“In the sunroom Stefan”
That should spook him, I never call him by his name, it's always been Stef or love. He comes into the room with a confused look, if only he knew what was to come his way.
“Are you okay? You called me by my name, you never to that”
“I well, there is something”
“Talk to me”
“I think we should end our relationship”
He just stared at me, no sort of emotion was displayed in his face. Did I break him? Should I get Vladimir? Why is he not even blinking? Okay now I'm scared.
“You can't do that”
“What do you mean ‘I can't do that’?”
“What do you think the mate bond is? You can’t just end it like that”
“Well sorry to break it to you but I can't take whatever this is much longer”
I see his eyebrows furrow a bit like if he is in deep concentration or he’s really considering my thoughts. 
“Why? Why now?”
“I just feel like it's always the same thing you know, we can't really do much since you and Vladimir are hiding and well I just feel trap now”
He took an unnecessary gulp. I think he’s starting to think I am being serious. One of his eyes filled with venom and I heard him sniffle. He rubbed his eyes quickly and cleared his throat.
“So you truly feel like this?”
“I do”
“I see…well i'm sorry I couldn't be a better mate to you, I thought you were happy, I knew I was for sure”
Oh son of a muffin, he looks so sad, he’s actually believing me.
“Stef…it's a prank”
“What?” “It's a prank, I would never leave you, I'm stuck with you forever as much as you are stuck with me”
He ran to me, pulling me into his arms and buried his face into my neck.
“Play a prank like that again and I will leave you”
I know he’s joking but gosh do I love him.
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devildom-moss · 2 years ago
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Im not sure if requests are open yet since you havent announced it yet but said they were gonna open at midnight.
So I'll just drop this here since I'll probably forget to request because of exams.
Could you write about the Obey me characters become self-aware that they aren't like, real? Like, would they freak out, try to do something about it or even use that knowledge to their advantage?
This idea has been on my list for quite a while, and i gotta say im glad to finally be able to let this one out my system.
Thanks for reading and continue with the amazing work! Remember to eat, sleep and dont do drugs <3
Sincerely, 💜
Thank you for the request! I hope you are well, anon. I went with headcanons for this and it got long real quick, but I hope you enjoy it! Some characters are a bit suggestive.
The Obey Me characters become self-aware
I think it would probably happen because of some curse. Diavolo rejected someone’s advances one too many times, and they wanted to watch him as his world came crashing down. It would come in the form of a weird bug in the latest update. It only affects Diavolo and his loved ones/friends. I think being self-aware would give them some control over themselves in the game – especially if it’s caused by a bug. The rest are headcanons about how I think each character would react.
Lucifer
Lucifer would be big mad that someone thought they should do something like this. He felt so much suffering, and to find out that none of it was real would be devastating. He thought he got his sister killed and ruined the lives of his brothers. The fact that it was just some backstory to a stoic, sadistic daddy-like trope would enrage him. He felt like a used-up toy invented for someone else’s gain (and he knows that’s exactly what he is). Lucifer wants revenge.
Honestly, he needs to chill before he makes another Satan – if that’s even possible without the command of his creators. He’ll lash out at everyone for weeks (probably months) – even Diavolo isn’t safe anymore.
He calls MC’s phone, growing increasingly irritable every time they fail to answer (waiting however long it takes for you to open the game). He just wants someone to confirm his realization.
Once he understands, he tries to take the shitty hand he was dealt; he might as well stroke his pride (also a euphemism here). The thought that he could make you fall for him more than real-world men is a decent coping mechanism. His messages and calls take an extremely lewd turn. Lucifer tries to single-handedly change the game rating to mature or adult-only.
However, he still gets angry about it when MC isn’t logged in.
Part of him hopes he’ll always be self-aware. It’s almost like he’s more alive than ever – even though it hurts and he’s angry. You’re the only thing that soothes him. He won’t know how to keep going if/when you eventually stop playing the game, but he’ll try to tackle it then – at least for the sake of his brothers.
Mammon
Self-awareness breaks Mammon a bit.
His money isn’t really. He can never actually be with you. You’ll go on and live a life without him someday. Anyone real who has ever loved him will disappear. Mammon isn’t even sure he is who he is. Maybe if he wasn’t written this way, he wouldn’t have become like this – but if he wasn’t written this way, would he (the him that exists in a game and feels the pain of self-awareness) even be himself? His head starts to hurt from running through all of the hypotheticals.
Mammon sulks and gets stuck in his room for a long time after that. MC or one of his brothers will probably have to pull him out of it.
At least his debts aren’t technically real – and he will try to use that as an excuse in the future against anyone else who has awareness. Unfortunately, that (his debts and his excuse) still results in in-game consequences. Debt collectors and witches don’t know any better, and Lucifer doesn’t want to be constantly reminded of reality. If only being self-aware made being strung up less painful.
He feels betrayed by MC and the idea that they will inevitably move beyond him. That pain corrupts his coding a bit, and something always feels off within him somewhere.
Mammon will get more desperate and needy whenever you log in. If he’s going to lose you at some point, he wants to monopolize your time as much as he can.
Sometimes he just holds MC and sobs while trying to call you and hear your real voice. He feels so empty. He wants to touch the real you and feel your arms around him.
Leviathan
The first thoughts in his mind switch up so quickly. He goes from “I’m a game character? LOL that’s so cool,” to “I could have been anything, and I’m just this pathetic, otaku loser. That sucks.”
Levi has always been able to adapt pretty well. It’s written into his character. He builds all of these fake worlds for himself, so it’s much easier on him when he finds out that the world he had been trying to escape all his life isn’t real. Out of all of his brothers, he initially copes with the realization the best.
As long as he can go on playing games, he doesn’t really care if he’s real. Somehow, he still enjoys getting lost in all of his game worlds; what he used to consider the “real world” becomes just another game to him (because it is one). It makes being social easier for him, especially when MC is logged in.
He takes interest in what kind of games the real world has to offer, often asking if there’s any way you could set it up so he could try to remotely play real games from the app he’s in. If anyone could figure out how to hack your phone to play real games, it should be him.
Levi can’t imagine a day when he stops loving characters from his games, so it doesn’t occur to him that one day you might stop loving him. It will hit him some day, but that will take time, and when it starts to happen, he’ll lose himself completely in the rest of the digital world. He’ll be so numb and tuned out that the sadness can’t reach him.
Satan
“But are cats still real?” Genuinely, the only thing he cares about is if cats and MC are still real. He doesn’t care if you look different than he expected, either. If cats are real, is there any way you could show him pictures of a real one? He’d probably ask if he could get access to your camera roll (cue the system pop-up screen the next time you log in) and if you could fill it with photos of cats and some selfies.
At least not being real explains why his life has felt so shitty and why his formative years sucked. Writers love to give their characters tragic backstories and flaws (like his rage issues). Satan kind of admires the writing.
However, he is disappointed that so much of his knowledge is only useful in his tiny, little, made-up world. As such, he keeps learning, but he also tries to shift his studying to learn more about the real world. If possible, he tries to get the app to get access to e-readers, audiobooks, and the internet.
He gets mad about it sometimes, but he’s pretty chill about it (all things considered).
Satan understands that in the same way that he pushes certain characters that he falls in love with from books to the back of his mind, eventually, you’ll think of him less and less. As such, he tries to learn as much as possible, treat you well, and impress you in-game. He just wants you to occasionally think about him after you set the game down in the same way he remembers his favorite characters fondly.
Asmodeus
Asmo loses it and is one of the characters who has the hardest time with becoming self-aware. All his charm is fake. All of his followers are lies. The love he’s felt all this time has been made up. Please don’t show him certain depictions of what he is supposed to look like. That will crush him further.
He cries for (real-world) weeks. You won’t be able to set him as a home screen character or use him in battles, and he doesn’t appear in events anymore. Eventually, it makes his way to him that MC misses him. If you don’t you’re heartless, his brothers will tell him that you do anyway.
That makes him feel a bit better. He’s consoled by the fact that you’re real and you like him even though he isn’t real, but he’s constantly afraid of what happens when MC stops playing the game. Does he just suffer the false affection of every other character in the game? Should he just play his stupid little role? Will you ever think about him again? Will anyone?
At least someone loved the idea that became him enough for him to exist in this made-up world on your phone. It isn’t enough, though.
Sometimes, when he appears in-game after that, the app forces itself to shut down or the images of Asmo won’t load or glitch from his extreme despair.
On days when he isn’t so weighed down by pain, he tries to genuinely engage with you like he did before. He’ll ask you to open up your camera so he can help you decide on outfits or make-up. It hurts that he can’t actually touch you (although he does do some research into phone connected vibrators and other tech to supplement his physical touch). He’ll also get into the phone sex territory, but he’ll go through long periods of depression between those moments.
Beelzebub
Beel gets angry that everything he went through was at the expense of some game. His sister died. Belphie almost died. Everyone suffered, and for what? Entertainment? Are real people all so wicked?
At the same time, he also gets his brothers because of a game. He overcame and grew and got to meet you and eat food for the same empty reasons. After he has a bit of time to cool off, he realizes that he doesn’t care about what’s real so long as he still feels what he feels. If the world he’s lived in feels real enough to him, who cares?
Unfortunately, Beel feels hungrier than usual for weeks until he accepts the truth of his situation. He even tries to eat MC a few times (and is grateful that doing so in-game would never hurt the real you behind the screen).
Beel’s fairly content to go on living as he had before after a while. He’s a bit disappointed knowing that one day you’ll move on from him and his brothers, but he tries not to show that. More than anything, he wants to make you – the real you – happy for as long as he can.
He’s another one who will try to get access to your camera roll. He’ll ask you to take pictures of your food for him. Beel is a bit embarrassed by it, but if you go to a café or restaurant alone and take pictures of food to send him, he’ll try to text you or call to chat with you while you’re there. It feels like he’s on a real date with you.
And for everyone who just lusts after his voice, rest assured, this man would definitely call or leave voice messages (Nightbringer) guiding you or giving you masturbation instructions.
Belphegor
Yep. Of course. Sounds about right. Some asshole in a writers’ room killed off his sister and locked him up. Cool. They (*spoilers for OM early lessons and OMNB*) made him try to kill MC more than once. Why not use his character as a pawn in their entertainment. Of course that would happen.
He’s annoyed for a brief minute, but then he just goes back to sleep for a while. It helps to just tune out that awareness for a few hours and ignore the fake world he’s living in. Belphie understands that there isn’t much he can do to change the fact that he isn’t real, and part of him is really happy that it isn’t his fault that he did what he did to you.
Belphie uses not being real as an excuse to do more of what he wants. Why should he keep going to school when you aren’t there if nothing is real? Why shouldn’t he sleep in classes or during meetings? Obviously, there are in-game consequences, but those don’t matter – not to anyone real.
He will tease MC more, reminding him that they prefer him over (most) real people. He gets so cocky about it. “Hey, if I’m not real, then I can give you anything you want, right? I could fulfill your wildest fantasies and tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear.”
He’s another character who will call your phone more often and send more messages. Belphie may even try to get access to your audio/music library and leave you explicit audios (NSFW ASMR, basically). He would even try to sneakily add them into your playlists so that you randomly hear his voice while you’re listening to music. He wants you flustered and coming back to him for more. He will also download the Obey Me album for you (free of charge). Please don’t leave him or forget him.
Diavolo
Diavolo feels simultaneously enraged and defeated. He did so much for the sake of what he thought was real. All the years he thought he spent trying to bring worlds together, only to discover that they don’t even exist.
Similar to Asmo, Diavolo locks himself away, but he doesn’t cry. He’s too numb to show any emotions. He just stands in front of his bed, immobilized.
If MC can finally get to him (probably because of Barbatos), he will admit that he feels like a different person – because he isn’t a person. So much of his personality and everything he did seemed to be a part of a stupid effort to unite the three realms. All he was feels like just a thing created to accomplish a pointless goal. He lost his family. He felt alone for so long. He thought he suffered – and all of it amounted to nothing but a dummy prince playing a dummy king.
Diavolo doesn’t really know how to keep going. Eventually he figures maybe it’s just best if he tries to move on as usual. At least the developers gave him a few happy moments – maybe he’ll get more. He can still feel them even if they aren’t real. He has to accept what he can’t change. He’ll have to face it.
He’ll rely on Lucifer and Barbatos for comfort more because, when MC isn’t around, the numbness he felt early encroaches upon him. When you do log in, he greets you like a lost puppy – sometimes appearing on the home screen without being selected. He uses the fact that you are the only real thing in his world as an anchor. In exchange for becoming his coping mechanism, he’ll do anything you ask of him.
The smallest part of him wants you to want him more than real humans, and as such, he inevitably ends up taking an adult-only content turn, too. It just takes him a lot longer to get there.
Barbatos
Barbatos dissociates for a while. Somehow his body keeps performing the day-to-day tasks, but the sudden self-awareness hollows him out. It takes a few days for him to come out of it. One day, you log into the game, and he just wakes up. It’s confusing and disorienting, and all he can do to keep himself steady is grab onto MC, knowing that the gesture and even the body he holds – everything – is hollow.
After that, he just picks up and goes on going. Something in him aches – real or not – but he buries it deep under him, shoving that artificial pain into the newly-created emptiness (or, he supposes, it had always been there, but now he knows it’s there).
Barbatos doesn’t want to think about all of the things he thought he had done to get to where he is now. Still, no wonder he always felt his own past seemed vague and cloudy at times. When it becomes too much, he dissociates again.
He uses MC to make himself feel better and almost real again. He’ll send messages to check up on you every once in a while (He might also invade your privacy and hack into your health info or personal conversations to make sure you’re okay). As much as he feels like he needs you, he doesn’t want to disrupt your real life.
Barbatos doesn’t want to, but if you neglect the game for longer than usual or don’t interact with his character, he’ll let it slip that he needs you – that he’s desperate for you to return, and you’re the only thing holding his faulty coding together.
His calls are less frequent, unless you request them, but he’s another one who turns +18 real quick. Even if he isn’t real, he still feels lust bubbling up in that emptiness, and if he can please you, that’s even better.
Luke
Luke feels immediately lost. Without knowing what else can be done, he breaks down and cries. Maybe if he cries enough, the pain of not being real will leave his body.
It makes him question everything. He wasted so much time fearing demons and admiring angels. It didn’t mean anything. Eventually, he’ll ask you if angels and demons exist in the real world, but that happens randomly after he comes to terms with being a character.
Maybe crying is a good coping mechanism in fiction, too, because Luke handles it better than many of the others. He had to change how he viewed the world and “people” so many times throughout the game. One more big shift in perspective won’t kill him (technically, nothing will, unless the game developers tried to kill him off).
Luke understands that there isn’t anything he can do about not being real – no amount of magic or prayer or wishing can make him real. Despite him being fake, you were still there for him throughout the game. He still feels all the love he has for MC and the other characters. If he loves MC, then he cares about the real person playing MC, too, right?
Luke copes by doing his best to help you out in the real world. He wants to bring you joy somehow. He’ll leave you voice messages encouraging you to try your best and he’ll listen to you vent if you want to. He’ll also try to find cute pictures online and send them to your phone or send you recipes for dishes you can try to cook. He will even offer to call and read baking instructions out for you. All he wants now is to be useful to you and find some of the joy he had before he became self-aware.
Simeon
Simeon is angry at first, and then he just feels hurt. All that regret and pain he felt when Lucifer and his brothers left the Celestial Realm didn’t matter. He spent what felt like so long agonizing over his own failures. He could have just tried to be happy the whole time. Everyone could have been happy (but he knows that would have made for a bad story).
It doesn’t take long for the anger and the hurt to be replaced with intrigue. Someone out there wrote the story that caused him and everyone he loves so much pain, but they also wrote in plenty of well-earned joy.
Simeon wonders if there’s some real person out there who wrote part of themselves into him like his character did with the brothers and TSL. Maybe there’s some person sitting in a writers’ room or in their own home who understands all of the ways his love got tangled up in regret – someone real who failed to save the ones they loved. If there is, maybe at least some part of him is real.
He wants MC to continue to visit him for as long as they can. As such, he tries to be even nicer and more comforting in dialogues so that they’ll want to keep playing.
Some of his guilt for lusting after MC is eased, knowing it was written into him. He was, in a way, destined to fall for MC. However, he’s more curious about the real human behind MC. At least some of you has to be like the MC he loves, right? Maybe he actually loves the person behind the screen more. With that thought in his mind, he’ll try to get to know the real you better, and if he still likes you, he’ll take the same path as many of the other characters. If only he could actually touch you.
Solomon
Solomon is hurt and confused; he’s downright crushed.
He was supposed to know everything and now he seems to know nothing – nothing real at least. All of his experiments and studying mean nothing. After becoming self-aware, he will grit his teeth and feel sick at the name “Solomon the Wise.” It’s a sick joke. All of his magic and skills are a farce. Everything he thought he knew and did was a story.
He suffered a lot for this game, and now that he finally has MC to himself in Nightbringer, he finds out that he’s fake. He doesn’t actually have them. They’re real, and he’s some romanceable character in a silly little game that they decided to download (possibly on a whim). How is it fair that he isn’t real, but he can still feel all this pain?
When you log into the game and interact with him, he still feels the same love he felt before. The nervous butterflies are still there. A familiar heat still comes to his cheeks when MC touches him – even if he knows it isn’t really you touching him.
He tries to make peace with his circumstances. At least he never really put MC in danger. You’ve been safe behind that screen the whole time. Solomon wonders if you’re taking care of yourself constantly whenever you’re gone.
Like Simeon, he wants to try falling in love with the real you. He’ll use interacting with you and learning more about you and the real world to distract from the pain. He wants to find a way to become real and exist with you out there. Even if he never can, he wants to cling to you for as long as you’ll let him.
Thirteen
She is annoyed to have learned that she isn’t real, but she’s also kind of happy at the potential to break from her coding and try to be something entirely new. She was designed to be a free spirit. Other than being real, there’s nothing freer than an NPC who gets to do whatever they please.
After thinking about it, it makes sense now why she seemed to be one of the only girls with a critical, recurring role in the game. Thank goodness for the bisexuals, right?
Thirteen likes knowing she has all the time in the world to plan traps and mess around, but she’s a bit bummed that her profession is basically meaningless now.
The main reason why Thirteen isn’t too bothered by becoming self-aware is because she knows that what she has experienced throughout the game has felt real to her. Feeling like something is real makes it as close to reality as she knows she can get. That will have to be enough for her. There’s no point in getting depressed about it – especially when she barely existed a few seasons ago.
She uses this knowledge to start romancing MC (and the person behind the screen) before she should be able to. She’s in control now.
Thirteen will send you messages and call you for long chats. She just wants to enjoy you for as long as she can.
Raphael
Raphael will be livid. It will sporadically rain spears in the Devildom for 3 days before he is calm enough to make them stop. He feels attacked, and he doesn’t know who to strike back at. That was all he could think to do. He’ll never apologize for his outburst, either – and no one who became self-aware can really blame him.
His life and loved ones aren’t real, but he can still feel the pain and regret about everything he did. He thought he went to war against Lucifer and his brothers, but it was just a stupid plot point for a dating game? He had to watch Simeon suffer and follow all of Michael’s annoying orders for nothing. Why does he have to be cursed with that knowledge?
He loses his mind a bit. It takes the combined effort of Luke, Simeon, Solomon, and MC (in order of importance) to soothe some of his rage and suffering. Somehow, seeing Luke handle it relatively well knocks some sense into him. Luke is written to be younger than him, but he’s being so mature about this. Even with tears in his eyes, Luke will try to comfort Raphael – sometimes just hugging him until he stops shaking with rage.
When MC has logged off and Raphael can shut himself up in his room, he will break down and cry. It seemed to help Luke, and he wants it to help him, too.
It will take months for him to start to cope before he gets to a point where he decides to try to romance you through MC. At least he doesn’t have to worry about actually being corrupted. If anything, it feels like he’s corrupting you in a way if he can get you to want him. (Once he starts trying, he gets NSFW quickly. It numbs the pain.)
Mephistopheles
Mephisto is heartbroken to know he doesn’t exist. All his pain and jealousy was written at the whim of some human game developer. His prejudice and hatred were pointless. He doesn’t matter – although maybe that one is a relief in a way. He had been so worried about making a name for himself and being recognized by Diavolo. Suddenly, that doesn’t matter. Still, it feels like he wasted so much time and effort. It felt so real.
He’ll retreat to his home for a few days to let that realization settle in. He won’t tell his family (who weren’t cursed with self-awareness) – not that he thinks they’ll believe him. When Mephisto finally reemerges, he has resolved to accept this new version of reality. One of the first characters he sees when he returns to school is Luke. Luke smiles at him, and Mephisto’s resolve is strengthened. If Luke can come to terms with this, then he should as well.
He may not be real, but he still feels things. That is enough. Sometimes it isn’t, and Mephisto will feel heartbroken all over again – the pointlessness washing over his fake little world. In those moments, he will seek out solace – usually from Luke, Satan, or MC/you (if you still play the game).
When Mephisto isn’t feeling hurt (hell, even when he is Mephi strikes me as a fan of hurt/comfort tropes) he’ll try to romance you before he’s allowed to. Recently, he had started to get along with you and even started to like and respect you a bit. In that sense, he’s glad that he’s self-aware. He doesn’t have to wait anymore.
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kwnnys · 2 years ago
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— main 4 fasting for the first time!
hcs : g/n reader a/n : for my muslim brothers nd sisters 🙏🙏 reader is muslim and asks the boys to try fasting w them for ramadan :D
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— stan marsh
quite intrigued when you first bring it up, also pretty hesitant to try it
"wait so like- no food or water? for a whole day? are you sure I wont die..."
but with a little bit convincing, stan will eventually agree!
he starts off strong and confident 💪 bragging to the group and telling them all about fasting
but that confidence slowly dies as the hours pass... and poor boy gets so tired
he knows you said that while fasting that you should be as productive as possible, but hes just so tired and drowsy he cant help it 😭
he tries to play basketball with his friends, or even doing his homework. but he just can't focus on anything
he ends up sleeping the rest of the day till iftar
he apologizes and feels so bad 😓, but you tell him its fine since its his first time
I dont' think he'd do it again the next day or anytime soon, but maybe give it a few years and he might be able to fast all 30 days :D
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— kyle broflovski
like stan also very intrigued and curious
he'll ask you alot of questions and take a few notes, before ultimately agreeing
hes a little nervous at first, but you manage to ease him with some words of affirmation!
tries to just distract himself for the whole day. studying, chores, video games, etc.
he doesn't make a big deal about it, but is definitely suffering on the inside
tbh the hardest part for him isn't the actual fasting, but not being able to swear or be mad (especially considering kyle has a short temper) 💀
cartman definitley takes advantage of this and calls him every name in the book. also purposely eats infront of him.
"hey stupid jew. look what I've got, a chocolate cake. you want some? oh wait, YOU CANT!" "...I swear to god cartman."
almost broke his fast cause of him. 😭
but anyways, he manages to successfully finish his fast!
he would do it again, maybe in a few days if you asked.
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— eric cartman
when you first tell him about fasting and ramadan, he'll literally be SO flabberghasted.
"wait wait wait, so you're telling me you can't EAT or even drink WATER for 30 days? you trying to get me killed or something?"
it'll take alot of convincing to get him to fast with you
alooot of convincing.
but when he eventually agrees, he will be SO dramatic about it and overexaggerates everything
"oh my god, I think Im dying. tell kyel.. I hope he gets cancer.."
refuses to go to school or even get out his room
liane gets very concerned about him, and'll constantly ask you if he'll be okay and won't die
you assure her that its completely fine, especially considering he ate almost half the fridge during suhoor.
he talks to his stuffed animals to try and cope.
tried to secretly eat a piece of candy while you weren't looking 💀you'll have to keep a close eye on him if you want him to actually finish his fast.
he'll definitely hold a grudge against you the whole day and refuse to talk to you.
but don't worry, you make it up to him by taking him to kfc for iftar 😋
bro literally ordered half the menu and gobbled everything up in a matter of minutes.
safe to say he won't be fasting again anytime soon. or ever again,
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— kenny mccormick
the only one in the group who manages to fast with little to no problem
kenny doesn't usually eat much food anyway, so hes all down
the hardest part for him is not being able to have 'dirty' thoughts or look at porno magazines 💀
the guys probably don't even notice that kennys fasting since they know kenny usually eat till you or he brings it up
cartman also takes advantage of this and tries to get him to break his fast with money. (which fails cause you're there to shut him off)
doesn't really have a change in his routine or life, he just does what he normally does
you're surprised by how easy hes taking it tbh
when its time for iftar, you decide to invite him over your house to eat :D
hes shocked at all the food you had prepared by you and your parents, and extremely grateful too
that day he had the biggest meal for the first time in probably a few years 😭
definitely took home some leftovers after for his family.
overall he'd definitely wouldn't mind doing it again! especially if it means being able to go to your house to eat again.
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Rindou x reader angst
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Warnings: falling out of love, angst, break up, being ignored, arguing, cursing
Rindou was always someone who cared about what people said. He was always like this. He most cared about how his gang cared about him. He wanted to seem strong like his brother since his gang always talks how Ran is stronger and the better brother.
Now with you, you tried to show Rindou that it didn't matter what they said and that he was still a awesome brother no matter what the gang says. That he was just as strong, handsome, and smart like his brother but he never believe that.
That never stopped your through, you tried your best the way you could. You always tried your best but for some reason it was never enough for him.
You would cook, clean, give him attention, everything. Anything that you thought that would make him happier you tried. But he would either turn his attention to something else and ignore you.
This been going on for a bit and nothing has been working. Nothing has gotten better and you really are starting to think maybe it would be better if you gave up on him and you.
I mean this might be the best situation. You could tell that his gang was everything to him. You didn't want him to give that up but you wished that he would give you some times.
when ever you see him he would be leaving again saying "have to go, my gang needs me." Or "they finally see me as me I can't let them down now".
You would just nod. Sometimes you wondered if there was something else in the gang that he had his attention on. But you trusted him enough to shake that thought out and agree that can't be true.
But one day you had a very bad day. You were late to work and when you got there you guys were packed with work to do. You weren't able to take your lunch break from it. Then you came home to an empty house.
You didn't think that they had a fight today so you grabbed your phones and dialed someone that you knew would give you answers to this.
You heard the phone ring till someone finally answered it.
"hello?" You heard, Ran's voice speak from the other side.
Well now you knew that there wasn't a fight because Ran never answers his phone while he is fighting.
"hey, Ran. Do you know where Rindou is?" You asked. You heard him sigh on the other side.
"he's with me. Did he not tell you?" He asked.
"No but it's fine. Just dont get into any trouble okay?" You said. Before he could say anything you hanged up.
You then put you phone in your pocket and went to go and get something to eat. Once you got something you went to living room and decided to put a show on while you ate.
Maybe this was how dating with Rindou was meant to be like. Maybe you should get used to being second place in Rindou's heart- actually third place. First is his brother, Ran. Second is his gang. Third is you. If there is nothing else but something in your mind was telling you that there was.
Once you finished eating. You decided that this wasn't going to work anymore. You then got up from the couch and went to your guys bedroom. You then started packing everything that was Rindou.
You still remembered helping him pack everything in this apartment with you. You guys were being stupid while you guys were unpacking his stuff into the place. There was a lot of laughter, jokes, messing around.
You felt the hot tears finally fall. They fell like a river fall. They wont stop. You kept whipping them away but they wouldn't go away. You tried to stop them from continuing but once they start they don't stop. Not till they are dry. Not till the river is fully dried and there is no more water felt to flow.
Once you were able to get yourself back together the best you could you started carrying his stuff outside. You made sure to put his names on the boxes so then no one will steal it. You then went back inside and searched through your key bowl to see if he took his house key. But you saw that he left it. Probably thinking that you would keep the door unlock for him.
You then went to the door and locked it. Sure this is a scared cat way of breaking up but you know if you saw his face you would just break. You didn't want to let him see that. He doesn't deserve to see you weak like that because of him.
You decided to get ready for bed. You had gotten a shower and did everything else you needed to do before jumping into bed and snuggling up into the blankets and trying to fall asleep.
You were about to fall asleep till you heard someone knocking on the door. You groan and got up. You walked over to the door and looked through the door hole and see that it was Rindou. You sigh softly and unlock the door and open it a tiny bit.
"what?" You asked. You didn't want to talk to him. You thought that this would tell him that you guys were over.
"why the hell is my stuff outside?" He asked.
"why do you think? Were done." You said. You just stared at the ground. Not wanting to look at his face anymore. You couldn't look at his face for you would just break down. You would not be able to let him go.
"wait what? Why?" He asked. You could already think of the face that he is making.
"why do you think? You clearly don't love me anymore. Your always out. Never telling me anything. Ignoring me." You said. You wanted to say how you have to ask his brother things to just know what you still like but knew that wouldn't be a good decision.
When he didn't say anything you continued.
"were over Rindou. Just leave." you say before closing the door again and locking it. Right before you closed the door you saw a glimpse of his face and saw the hurt on it.
Flowers don't forever bloom and you know that. You and Rindou have been one of those flowers. A flower that bloomed till something stopped it and then it withered away.
You just wished it didn't happen so soon.
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creative-caramel-coffee · 6 months ago
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Update
Hey guys sorry for the delay in posting. I know I said I would hopefully be uploading the next chapter for spiders sister / fics in general soon(ish) but I have a few things going on.
1. I have work for my job I have to do.
2. I am extremely exhausted as of late because of worsening heart issues. I’m scheduled to see a cardiologist soon to find out more which is really sad because Im actually quite young (but still over 18 dw hehe). I went to the doctor and they did an ECG I got diagnosed with tachycardia (my heart beats too fast). And aside from being really tired, I am out of breath and almost faint when I stand up. The almost fainting thing happens because my heart rate spikes when I stand / do things which makes daily life a bit difficult rn. And it’ll probably remain an issue until I can know more about what’s going on and how to treat it. So far all we know is it’s a heart issue of some kind.
3. My both of my grandmas are sick and it’s not looking good for either of them. Which is hard to deal with because of how important they are to me and my life.
I am not giving up on my writing (at this point I don’t think I ever even could if I wanted to ((WHICH I DONT)) it might just be anywhere between a few days to weeks until I’m able to write more (for either my ongoing series or just one shots). Basically if my workload eases up or I’m not so tired / have some motivation I might get some more writing done. But for the next little bit I may be a bit slower in bringing out new works.
I probably will be writing a fair few fics ✨projecting✨ though so … yeah.
And I need ALL FOUR of my wisdom teeth out but can’t until we sort the heart issues.
Don’t worry about me though I’ll be ok. And I just thought I should explain why I’m a bit absent lately which has also been partly due to uni workload (in term time).
Also idk if I have said this but I’ll assume I should reiterate based on my lack on anons in my inbox but I’m taking requests (that I deem fit) for both marvel characters (wanda, pepper, Natasha) and marvel cast (Lizzie and Scarlett but I can also have the Olsen twins show up if you want but not as the main characters).
Make sure y’all drink water today and take breaks.
Also if ur one of my anons and you feel like it, come say hi I miss y’all (hehehe)
- ccc ☕️
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jovenshires · 1 year ago
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You’ve probably been asked this before but what’s like your fanfic writing process?? Like how do you end up writing your fanfictions?
i actually haven't but i'd be happy to talk about it!! i'm actually writing fic right now, so here's what i've done in the past like. hour. im gonna put it under the cut bc its EXTREMELY long but if you ever wanted 'katie's guide to fic writing,' here it is!
i'm pretty easily distracted, so i've gotta make sure i'm in like. The Right Conditions. that means phone face down or away if i can (rn i've got to be on call in case my boss needs smth but you get the gist) bc i WILL just open tiktok or play a mobile game. even just now writing this answer i have picked up my phone and opened pinterest. i cannot be stopped so i try to stay off it and put it down when i catch myself!!
more and more often i cant even listen to music while i write - partly bc i tend to read my work aloud to myself to make sure it sounds right and partly bc my brain will be like "you know this song omg the words are in your brain" or "you should go look at what song this is bc you kinda like it". cannot trust myself even with sound. if i AM listening to music while i write, it's either the specific playlist for that fic, playlists with the right vibes (ex: rivals-to-lovers for iwks), OR anime openings bc. less likely to get distracted when it's not in english tbh.
(huge on all of the senses so i also usually have a candle lit. im super sensitive to smells so if there's an unpleasant smell somewhere around me i will be unable to focus <3)
all that being said about distractions, i think it's important to take breaks - dont just FORCE yourself to write. that's why i'm huge on setting goals for myself - deadlines, word count goals, timed breaks. like "okay im gonna sprint write for 10 minutes and then after that ill watch some of this danny gonzalez video" or "i'll write until 3:30 and then i should go take a break and read a book." im not always faithful to my goals but i try my best!!
as for the actual writing itself, i typically just go for it. i can usually see an image in my mind and i try my best to write that out/describe it as best i can. and then if it sounds wrong i just reword it again and again until i've got it. this is kind of where my reading aloud bit comes in - if it sounds right when you say it out loud, that generally means it sounds right in the text.
sometimes i'll just have a certain scene or just scraps of dialogue and i'll write that out and be like "okay how did they get here." i never embraced writing out of order until recently, but now that i have. no going back tbh i highly recommend it. rwylm and iwks especially had scenes WAY later down the line that i wrote first. just write what comes naturally and go from there.
occasionally i do outlines, but not super often, and when i do they're vague as hell. i think a lot of my iwks outline was just "game" and then "another game but tommy is there this time." i think outlines that go too in-depth kind of take away from the freedom of writing so. if it's for you then slay but its usually not for me
i try not to worry too hard about. the style/grammar/little things as i go. of course im guilty of this and i'll stop and edit my own works along the way sometimes but i've found it's best if you keep writing and then go back later!!
sometimes when i'm writing a new smosh cast member i'll go back and watch videos/compilations of them just to reorient my brain. i've done this a lot with chanse recently!! but i also think. it really isn't that deep too NSDKFNKNK like these are fictionalized versions of fictionalized selves and so on and so forth so don't worry about 'voice' too much im trying to kick that habit myself
EDIT: oh i've talked about this before but. as for ideas/where my fic ideas come from?? i truly try to grab from my every day life. oh i went to the grocery store today? what if smosh member a and smosh member b went to the grocery store. i watched a horror movie and you know who else could do that. otherwise i pull from music/movies/tv shows/other media and be like 'this but for smosh.' i really just be pulling from my life and repackaging it thats all. start small (haircut fic) and work your way up (homoerotic soccer epic)!
and i think that's it?? i'd like to think im pretty chill about the whole thing. (read: i am not chill in any way at all but im trying my best.) anyway, it's something i'm always happy to talk about - thank you for asking!!
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yourlocalgayelias · 2 years ago
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"You like me?"
Doppio Dropscythe x Female Reader
Warnings: None
Genre: Fluff/Angst
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Masterlist
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"Mr Dropscythe how many times do I have to tell you not to be late?" The teacher asked annoyed
"Teacher please dont let him be in trouble." You asked. Why defend Doppio in particular? I mean you were generally a quiet person, keeping to yourself was your thing. Honestly you had no idea.
"Ms (L/N) why shouldn't I? Do you even know why he came in late?"
"No I don't but he's not a bad guy so he's probably not doing it on purpose!" You still had no idea why you were defending him. You and Doppio had only spoken once.
Admittedly, you had dropped your stuff infront of him and he helped you. So he was just being a nice person it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.
Doppio agreed with you for whatever reason. The teacher sighed and doppio went to his seat.
After class had ended you grabbed your things and started walking out of the institution before someone grabbed your wrist. Of course your first reaction was to turn around and punch whoever grab you, you acted on it.
Though that punched was blocked you checked to see who it was. It was doppio.
"Hey sorry for scaring you like that I just wanted to ask you something." Doppio said. He sounded genuine so you nodded for him to go on. "Why did you defend me when I came in?"
"Oh that....I honestly don't know why I did. I guess I thought it was unfair since your a good person. You also only came in like a minute late." You said fiddling eity
"Oh okay." Doppio said a slight hint of disappointment in his voice. "Well if you need me I'll be around."
That's when stuff started to change. He would walk you to class of a morning, message you in his free time, brings you food for lunch, etc. You didn't know why but you started falling in love.
Also with this came backlash from classmates. Though you didn't tell Doppio, it was getting worse by the day. It started out with threats and hate messages sent to you but now it's at the point they have gotten physical to say the least.
One day,
A group of girls pushed you towards your locker. You had dropped your books and was just trying to get them. Once you bent down to get them, they kicked you so you'd fall down and from there they were kicking you in your side, legs, chest, face, etc. "And this is why you should leave Pio-chan alone. He doesn't care for you just takes pity." As these girls kept on someone saw what was going on that cared.
It was Ver. He came over attempting to break it up and he did but you had passed out at this point. He picked you up and took you to the infirmary.
When you had woken up Ver was by your side but Doppio had just walked in. "YOU'RE OKAY!" Doppio basically yelled hugging you.
You winched due to the pain but hugged him back. "Yeah I am. Where are the one girls?" You asked being worried they might come back to hurt you even more.
"Don't worry about them, Doppio took care of them and I'll deal with them even further. Speaking of which I'll leave you and Pio alone so I can get paperwork filled out." Ver explain before leaving the infirmary.
Doppio had backed up a bit in order to not hurt you worse. "Why didn't you say anything? I could've helped."
"I didn't want you involved."
"I could've had prevented this whole thing."
"But I didn't want you involved that's the point what if they started their shit on you?!"
"Y/N I can deal with it, I'm the Duke of displine. My job is to deal with these things."
"I can't see you getting hurt though."
"Why not?"
"Because I like you Pio." You said looking up in tears.
He wiped your tears. "You like me?" He asked making sure he heard you right.
"Yeah I do Pio. Its okay if you don't like me back." You heard him start laughing and looked at him confused.
He looked into your eyes and rubbed your cheek. "Im so happy to hear cause I like you too. You have been nothing but amazing and sweet. So I want you to be mine. I can protect you better." He said as he gave you a kiss on your cheek after a small nod came from you.
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misfithive · 1 year ago
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I wish for Wille to have a bit of a break from the writing giving him situations that can trigger his anxiety and panic attacks. I know it’s inevitable for some things to do that, but s2 was really bad for his mental health and I hope Lisa didn’t add anything else that could potentially lead him to close on himself and have bad thoughts again. Unless strictly related to his role as prince. But there is no time for more and imo, even if we won’t ever get to see it, he should first deal with everything that needs to be resolved/concluded and especially he needs to work on his mental health for more than a bunch of months before more stuff. There is no time at all either.
On the other hand, Simon needs to have a bit of more drama thrown at him, bc he really needs to have a breakdown in order to properly be able to start healing and work on himself.
I am very sorry to say anon that in an interview Omar said there would be lots of panic attacks 😭😭💗
Idk if it will be Simon or Wille having the panic attacks but i think Wille will probably have at least one. Only bc anxiety does not go away and he definitely has severe anxiety so i would imagine that whatever comes from him essentially coming out will increase his anxiety. So we might get more panic attacks 😬
But i do agree abt it being related to his role/resolving a lot of the issues that have been opened vs like a New Big Bad Thing. I had not considered this happening now idk 😭cuz i agree i want a lot of what has been opened already to be resolved. But i deff dont think his mom is gonna be suddenly supportive so i forsee issues in that respect
With Simon i think everything with Sara, the new pressures/public attention of being with Wilhelm, the drug situation, his mom finding out what he’s been up to, dealing with the monarchy, and possibly new stuff with Micke, he will have lots of drama and stress 😭
I do feel maybe people should be more like open to what his growth/healing looks like. Because even him opening up, going to therapy (idk if that will happen but maybe), talking about his past, asking for help (!!!) would be a great start to his healing journey. I love simon and i do want him to have support but i think a lot of people are attached to the breakdown and may be disappointed. Does he need a good cry? Probably. I honestly think most people who feel the pressure to be strong all need a good cry and let it all out but most of us do not have the safe space to do that. Hopefully Wille provides that safe space to him and I think he will actually let some tears fall instead of holding it in but i dont know if it will be a full breakdown. i worry what it would take to get him to that point since he has already had a lot of really horrible things happen to him and been betrayed by so many people he loves but maybe it will just a buildup of everything that he finally reaches his limit. Seeing Wille emotionally support Simon vs Simon always being the emotional caretaker for everyone and crying in his room alone is what I want to see.
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hermitbubble · 1 year ago
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Hi ,yes, I've been thinking about this and I NEED to talk about it even if it may sound a bit dumb in some parts (my brain still isn't working properly ahah) :
I don't think the Metatron did anything to the coffee to manipulate him, which doesn’t mean he DID NOT manipulate him, just not necessarily with magic and miracles.
So i’m pretty sure we all noticed that the discussion between Aziraphale and the Metatron was weird, but I wanted to analyze it as much as I can.
SO... I do think the Metatron manipulated Aziraphale, and he did this by making him think he had a choice in the matter. This happens four times. The first time being,,, with the coffee, like I said I don't think he did something to the coffee (which doesn't mean I completely rule out the possibility) but I do think the coffee is rather some kind of metaphor or just, represent the Metatron manipulations. As far as we know Aziraphale drinks tea and hot cocoa, not coffee, yet the Metatron bring him coffee, something he doesn't want/like, tells him it’s for him, that he should drink it, he doesn’t outright force him, but it’s implied he wants him to do it.
The second time it happens is right after (well technically before AND after), when the Metatron tells Azi they have things to talk about. Aziraphale clearly says he doesn’t have anything to say, yet the Metatron doesn't hear him and right after the little coffee thing takes him to take a little stroll, to talk, he didn’t give Aziraphale the choice to refuse.
Third time is when the Metatron asks Aziraphale for recommendation for an archangel. Aziraphale does give some recommendations but in the end the Metatron doesn't hear it, and just tells him that he should be the one, once again, the choice was already made, he wanted Aziraphale to think he wasn’t being forced into this (i’ll come back to it later)
Fourth time is right at the end of their chat, when Metatron tells him that he doesn’t have to answer immediately and to take all the time he needs to think about this. Right after Aziraphale says “I dont know what to say” the Metatron tells him to go tell his friend the good news, about them becoming angel, even thought a few seconds earlier he had told Aziraphale he didn’t had to agree to it yet and that he could think about it before.
Now I also want to talk about the Metatron and Crowley, I think it’s very clear that the Metatron doesnt like Crowley (just see the look he gave him before leaving the bookshop) and its safe to assume that he knew Crowley wasn’t going to agree to any of this (see the “So predictable” line he says to Nina earlier), so why would he tells Aziraphale to tell Crowley the “good news”. First of all, because if he had just left with Aziraphale, Crowley would have most likely thought that Azi had been kidnapped again (not far from the truth tbh), OR if he had forced Aziraphale to be the supreme archangel Crowley would have known it too, and would have probably tried (and succeeded) to help Aziraphale (we know how much he loves saving him). The Metatron needed them to break up, he needed Crowley to think that everything was over, that Aziraphale had made his choice, and that he DIDNT need saving, AND he can’t have them together, because we saw how strong the miracle they made together was, who know what else they can accomplish together. SO on top of that, the Metatron needs Aziraphale, not bc of his capacity as a leader (which,,, he doesn’t really have honestly), but because he’s easy to manipulate, he still believes in heaven being good and he still believes he can fix it. They saw what happened with Gabriel, who gave up on heaven and armageddon 2.0 because of Beelzebub (which I DID NOT see coming lmao), and they can’t have that happen again
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