#i dont know if i really like this story i wrote but whatever im posting it anyway i guess i hope someone likes it at least

[dreamsy990]

hi i wanted to draw my own au so have a snippet of scene i rewrote like 12 times and will likely rewrite again

[deoidesign]

What if I.

when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this

[the-s1lly-corner]

Thank you sm 😭 you actually did so good! It felt so nice to see my favorite creepy boy with those head canons 🥹🥹 but yes your writing is absolutely amazing!! I can’t wait to keep seeing everything you write!! And I apologize in advance if I ever get too excited and request too much 🥹

Perhaps creepy boy relationship head canons with a fem!reader who attempts to steal their clothes because they miss them?

- 🩶 Anon

Laughing Jack, Eyeless Jack, and Hoodie x fem!reader who steals their clothes because she misses them!

went ahead and threw in some other characters that i think would be silly with this request since you didnt specify :3! was gonna add slenderman but im on the fence about whether or not his clothes are a part of his body.. shrugs!! feels weird not doing masky since im doing hoodie too but shrugs again laughing jack included as you state hes your favorite :3 and WAAAAH im glad you enjoyed the previous request!! and no need to apologize; i get it !! sometimes i get excited too with requesting stuff !! ill let you know if youre being too intense (though i gotta admit i love writing creepypasta stuff, had a longish break between august and now where i hardly wrote for it and i missed writing for the fandom loads TToTT)

EYELESS JACK:

honestly for a moment i was going to say his mask but i genuinely think that would be a deal breaker for him since it kind of acts as a comfort and security thing for him. even if hes not wearing the mask around you, dont take it. now his hoodie or one of his shirts... thats a different story.. would rather you ask him, though, but he does find it a little sweet that its because you missed him.. mind you he thinks so lowly of himself that he might even be a little shocked that you *miss him.. might let you keep on his shirts! might have to wash it though and patch up a hole or two but its nothing major.. though i dont think he would let you keep one of his hoodies, he has way less of those than he does shirts and he kind of needs them to keep warm.. also the hood comes in handy.. for things.. will expect you to return his belongings when asked, will not take any excuses since they are his belongings and he cant really waltz into a store and go shopping

LAUGHING JACK:

okay so this one is a little funny since i do personally hc that his clothes are just a part of his body for the sake of the post lets turn a blind eye.. theres so many options for you.. his shirt (sleeves! long and floppy!) or a spare sweater than hes claimed... hmm.. i think regardless of what piece of clothing you've taken from him he would be thrilled that you miss him THAT much! he rarely goes out, in fact i dont think its often that he goes far from where his music box is.. gotta stay in decent range, you know? but the point still stands... you miss him? i think that actually does wonders for his abandonment issues, since it reassures him that you care about him and think of him when hes away. probably scoops you up in his arms and hugs you, likely wrapping his arms around you like a snake. offers to never let you go, and kind of sticks true to that until you need to tend to your bodily needs

HOODIE:

another victim of jacket thief... a moment of silence for this man losing the thing that literally sparked his name.. okay jokes aside i dont think he would care that much, hes probably hoarded other clothing while staying with you; from hoodies to sweaters. so hes not going to sweat it if you briefly snatch something from him so long as you eventually give it back.. might sign some teasing words at you for missing him, might also prompt a session of you two cuddling.. good luck getting up because hes probably not going to let go.. why would he, you missed him! also might make him try to spend more time with you since every now and then he does have decently long periods of just. being gone doing whatever it is that he does.. probably leaves you his main hoodie and wears a different one when he knows hes about to dip for a while..

[aboringredmop]

k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!

(edit: here's the full recording! )

Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)

they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)

they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)

they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show

they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol

they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)

they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock 😔) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.

Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"

Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)

they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)

also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key

they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically

also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho

they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck

lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)

international release of the show soon!

Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it

3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!

they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them

they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background

then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends

the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs

the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)

Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it

I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am

edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)

(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)

[ranticore]

one thing i love in your stories is that a lot of your characters Kind Of Suck personality-wise but in a realistic way if that makes sense?

their flaws arent cartoonishly unpleasant and i feel u dont get the level of detachment u would for a character who's unpleasant because he kills people or whatever whereas i've actually met people like Félix or Nico and i think it makes everything feel more real and immersive.

i hope any of this makes sense. I Really Like Ur Stories :) is what im saying

thank you 🧡

actually it's something i really enjoy exploring - forgiveness, redemption, etc for characters you personally would not forgive. and it's easy to make someone sympathise with a fictional murderer or whatever but what if there isn't a layer of abstraction that makes it easy to distance them from yourself or someone you might know. i wrote a post about it once that is in my drafts now but i'll screenshot the tags hehe

i thought a lot about félix in stbh in this context. i had to make him say something that would make most people break a friendship with him on the spot. idk i know it sounds odd when i also said i never planned on letting anyone else read the book but i did genuinely plot it out with an Audience in mind. i wanted to confront them with this person and provoke an emotional response of some kind. yea it might be hatred but now what? here's the guy now get used to him. i could say sooooo much about him but i can't or i'll die for real irl

[burntb4bydoll]

Hey love the writing sm was wondering in your 2023 tom hc you siad you would write a story bout giving him head on live stream and im so excited when or if it comes out.

hope you get better❤np if you can or dont want to anymore

Thank you sm!! Im so mad cuz the original fic was DELETED BY THIS DUMB APP😭 i literally wrote a whole ass smut fic and when i posted it, it just disappeared i was so pissed

Im just gonna write headcanons cuz tbh rewriting the whole thing is so much work😭 HOPE THATS OK BAE!!!

Giving 2023 Tom Kaulitz head during a livestream headcanons

•it was probably during a long livestream, he had been on it for so long and you got bored so why not suck him off😇

•you were also on the livestream, but you pretended like you were going to bed so that you could have an excuse to leave

•you didn’t actually leave the room ofc, you just crawled between his legs (which were out of the frame obvi)

•he would totally be into it too. Theres no way he would turn down head from his pretty little s/o🤭

•hes so good at pretending nothings happening. He continues to play with filters and talk with the guys like nothings going on, no one suspects a thing

•but what no one else can see is the way his hands are tangled in your hair and his hips pushing up so that he hits the back of your throat

•at one point you had to pull away to wipe away the drool that was going down your chin😭 he totally laughed at you but no one noticed

•if you start making noise he’ll mute himself and point his phone towards the ceiling

• “be quiet, baby. You dont want everyone knowing how much of a slut you are, do you?”

•then he’ll go right back to talking to people in the chat or joining on on whatever conversation was already happening

•the whole time hes petting your hair and looking at you with the most lovesick look in his eyes. He loves you so much and hes having the time of his life, he couldn’t be happier really

•he holds your head in place while he cums in your mouth. He mutes again and tells you to “be a good girl/boy/slut and swallow.”

IM GOING FERAL WHILE WRITING THIS HELP

[luvhughes43]

your boy can't read ! | trevor zegras x author!reader

luvhughes43 masterlist🌷

ynoffical

Liked by trevorzegras, jackbenedwards, and others

ynofficial my weekend☕️📖💐

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stephbohrer ❤️❤️

fan01 writing your next book right?😁

fan02 we want something happy this time !

fan01 no.

jackbenedwards lets go book shopping once you're back in nyc

ynoffical of course! ill text u💗

trevorzegras yaba daba doo☕️

liked by ynoffical

fan03 whatever the hell that means

trevorzegras

Liked by ynofficial, jamie.drysdale, and others

trevorzegras coolest place in the world⚡️

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_quinnhughes who wrote your caption? why does it actually make sense for once

trevorzegras i take offence to that.

fan04 the fact that the caption is so simple and quinns saying that😭😭

fan05 i'm going to be honest i never have any idea what trev is talking about liked by ynoffical

jackhughes interesting... 🤔

jamie.drysdale what happened to cereal being your ideal meal?

trevorzegras i'm a changed man🫡

ynoffical cute house!

liked by trevorzegras

ynfan now hold on...🧐

ynoffical

liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras, and others

ynoffical had some time off🌞🎨

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fan05 WHO IS THAT???

fan06 why are a bunch of nhl players liking..🧐

jackhughes im still so confused about this whole thing

ynofficial confused ? were in love😁🙏💗

jackhughes you know he can't read right?

ynofficial i know😞💔

trevorzegras you know i was just thinking and i think your bf is an excellent reader... like hes probably so good its shocking

ynoffical no i was actually just thinking that he can't

fan07 STAY FOCUSED ON THE BOOK QUEENIE DON'T LET THE BOYS DISTRACT U💪🔥‼️

trevorzegras

liked by ynoffical, masonmctavish23, and others

trevorzegras reading very seriously.

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jackhughes no i dont think you are

liked by ynoffical

trevorzegras WTF STOP??

ynoffical happy to see you're finally learning how to read❤️

trevorzegras what if this was my last straw?

fan08 you're the lea michelle of hockey babes its okay! not everybody has to know how to read❤️

anaheimducks so proud of our Z🧡

hockeyfan: nawww even his team is setting him up😭

oldman get ur ass back on the ice you do NOT need to be reading.

ynoffical

liked by trevorzegras, uncarley, and others

ynoffical totally normal weekly update

tagged trevorzegras

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fan09 HOLD ON????

trevorzegras 🤔🤔

jackhughes the last slide says: 👁❤️🫵 (I love Trevor Zegras) hope this helps❤️ liked by ynoffical

trevorzegras 😐

stepbroher you're really living out the hockey romance fantasy wow

ynoffical waiting for u to release your own hockey book🙏

fan10 does this mean the next book is a romance?😁

ynoffical 🤭🤭

trevorzegras i love you too

ynoffical i love u so much its crazy

trevorzegras i love you so much i read a book

jackhughes correction: he learnt how to read

trevorzegras STOP GO AWAY!

trevorzegras

liked by ynoffical, jackhughes, and others

trevorzegras you make it so easy to love 🧡🧡

tagged ynoffical

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ynoffical 💗💗

liked by trevorzegras

jackhughes so glad ynoffical can speak emojis! otherwise you guys wouldn't be able to text each other

trevorzegras jackhughes you make me sick.

fan11 z baby look at me this isn't you...

colecaufield u guys look great💤

jamie.drysdale i'm actually surprised and i've known this whole time

masonmctavish23 i didn't think he had it in him

fan12 NOOOO THIS CANT BE HAPPPENING TO ME😭🙏

ynoffical just posted a story!

caption: lover boy🫂🤍 (aka the love of my life)

jackhughes replied: if only trevvy could read that😪❤️

trevorzegras replied: calling u in 5 🧡🧡 love you

[nadianova]

How much time do you spend planning some of your visual novels? At least going by some of them being jam submissions, it feels like you go from pre-production to a finished build very quickly, and it's amazing how you can manage that while still having an awesome story and so many assets.

Also, what is like, the process of planning a story out for you, if there's any vague or concrete similarities that you've noticed?

i think the important context here is that if i get bored/have nothing to do i jhust immediately get really suicidal its like ridiculous how bad it gets(ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IVE HAD 5 YEARS OF THERAPY). so i hate being bored and want to occupy my time wit something fun whatever that is. if i have a project to focus on but especially if I'm working for a game jam i have a deadline and i just decide to myself okay i will release a game now.

because ive made a decent amount of games i roughly have an idea on my capabilities, i can estimate how long it takes for me to write a story so and so long and how long it takes for me to draw stuff i need and how long it takes for me to throw stuff in renpy. these are estimates like as in I'm not accurate with it but still enough that i generally know where to start cutting ideas since the most important part is just having something to submit. i also know to plan around my brain wanting to slam my head into a wall an my hands suddenly giving up on being able to draw.

i think thats the beauty of game jams it forces you to just go for it and release something. releasing a 'bad' game is better than no game at all. experience only comes over time and i think just going for it is the best approach there is. like its literally 2 weeks 1 month whatever of your life. if you have the time and motivation go for it. make it work or fuck it up it wont matter in the grand scheme of things

im not sure what is the motivation behind the question but i do want to point out that this is just my method (if you can even call it a method) and the only way to figure out what works for you is to just try until you find something that actually works for you

idk not everyone will find it doable/fun to plan around spending two weeks gamedev 10 hours a day just cause i wanted to fit in 100 cgs for a jam game but apparently i can do that when i cheat my stupid adhd brain into hyperfocus with adhd meds

READMORE BECAUSE I CANT STOP RAMBLING

as for planning tho i think ideas on their own are worthless and its always about execution in the end. a great idea or a meh idea are the same for me but i do still enjoy the planning process so i keep notes

like i see a great tumblr post or i see some art or visual novel has some scene that inspires me: i save that shit for myself

having a big collection of random floating ideas like that helps me easily pick from especially during a jam type duration. right now i have like 4-5 half-baked project skeletons, some are literally like 3 pictures and some like naomida are a hundred hours worth of me writing world building about how the toilets work in a city with no plumbing cause its -30celcius(i love bringing this up)=

i dont normally plan that much, i tend to just wing it. like for malmaid i seriously just had some rough ideas and just went along as i wrote

same thing for dddeviance i had a handful of scenes that i really wanted to make and knew what kind of start and end it was meant to have and just figured out how to fill the in between. a lot of plot points changed vastly like halfway through i realised my devil + angel combination was stupid and i should just go for fallen angel + angel.

i think there really is no simple answer tho (as evident from the long as hell post) i don't really have a 'process' because every single game has been worked on has come with different type of planning since I'm always trying new stuff to try and distract me from boredom. like I've been using obsidian for naomida while previously I've just used a empty discord serve as my notes app for malmaid and dddeviance

and tbh with naomida I'm running to a new problem where I'm definitely planning too much. like I'm spending too much time fidgeting with details in chapter 4 even when i haven't finished writing chapter 1 just cause its so easy to get in the loop of "oh ill just change this one line" and boom 20 mins spent playing with my notes that didn't really progress my game since by the time i reach this point the whole scene might have shifted to something else

.

but if i had to squeeze an answer itd be something like everything related to my art or writing or games is just like "oooooo that seems fun i should remember this for later" and then i just string 10-100 of those into a story

i tend to write my stories in a format of

character A does this and that

this happens here

puppy play ryona piss orgasm

new day and then this happens here

sad thing happens

more piss orgasm

the end

and just like start filling in more details and working on my story in a nonlinear fashion until i feel like i have a strong enough skeleton that i can start writing my scenes. i hop around a lot, often preferring to write the fun scenes first like ero stuff or the ones I'm the most interested in and then the rest is just filling the blanks and stringing the cool scenes together

[askmarshandbroflovski]

In response

((OOC

i checked this blog today to make sure it hadnt been deleted and saw a few things in the inbox. i want to clear up a couple of things. if this is the last post to ever hit this blog, so be it, but heres the endcase:

no, i decided not to make the end comic. i wrote this story nine years ago with someone i loved very much. it sort of became a net for my feelings about my loss and addiction. it was messy and weird and put a lot of my perspectives on display. ive been clean for two years now and i think its okay not to tie up this story with a neat end. like stan and kyle, i graduated and i got older and i have a career. thats all it would have been. i would have tried to ascribe some deeper meaning to making a dumb thing in high school, and i would have tried really hard to make it feel like the way things were back then were okay. i dont really feel like revisiting it. comics are hard. it took me a very long time to write and create something that can be read in maybe an afternoon. maybe you just had to be there. by following stan and kyle for as long as it took, you followed me and my coming to grips with being a person. really, this was just longform vent art about whatever dumb bullshit occurs to a high school junior. but i know it helped some people and entertained some other people so, i will be leaving it up. i just dont think ill ever slap a neat bow on it. my story wont have a neat end and neither will stan and kyles.

no, i wont end the craig blog either. i havent logged into that one in a while and i think if tumblr wants to wash it away thats okay. it was a way for me to reclaim some control over a narrative and maybe explore some deeper feelings (surprise, my birth father Also went missing, who knew) but it ultimately didnt amount to much. whatever happened to craig is up to you. my interpretation wasnt liked much anyway, and to have an askblog, you need people to be curious about the premise. i didnt connect as much with it and the frustration associated with running a project like that outweighed whatever i got out of it. i still dont know what that was.

anyway. i moved onto writing dnd campaigns and i am still alive. i still make art sometimes. i still get anxious when i see the inbox notifs, but these days, 9 times out of 10 its spam. i hope you guys all liked the south park post-pandemic aged up specials. i didnt, but im nitpicky and kind of bitter about the idea altogether. i havent seen an active askblog since 2017 but hey. be nice to people who make things. if you feel so inclined, maybe go make something for yourself. id like to thank the people who were curious and had fun here. id like to thank sekrit, neggy, rachel, five, ozzy and nadia. id like to thank everyone who let me tell my story. its just not over yet.

[myloveforhergoeson]

🥑☁️🍬(and if you dont wanna answer the one 🐇)

hiii love i didn't reblog this game but i can totally answer these for ya <333

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

i am turning myself IN i could never live with the guilt. would likely text you and pearl to be like. im getting a life sentence bye lmfaooo

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

my username is a line from the song every little thing she does is magic by the police!! eltsdim was tasw's original title, where roxy and her dad were more classic rock fans, but i ended up scrapping that idea for the one where they're more punk/rock fans bc that's a genre i know better! i kept the title though, until the day i went to post the story, when she's got a boyfriend by boys like girls came on and that's all she wrote just ended up sounding better to me. i'd already made all the accounts under myloveforhergoeson and was too lazy to change it. i'm not super fond of it but eh. it's who i am now! i'd never really been a username changer even on my old bandom blogs either so, it stuck

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

i feel like being a lomille shipper is kinda unpopular in our current btr sphere but i don't think logan and camille are that bad of a ship personally! i understand why others aren't a fan, not up to me what you like and what you don't, but i think batshit gf and her genius bf is a fun dynamic lolll they just make me laugh

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

if we can imagine a time before tasw.... (aka 2021 or 22 i think now? and i didn't post what i'd been working on until 2023...) the first btr fic i'd thought of was a fantasy reader insert where all the guys were like princes or whatever and writing a reader insert was so fucking hard for me for some reason. i think i only got like 10 pages in before i was like fuck this fr.... have not tried since! discovered that i could make an oc not too long later (i'd known of the concept obv but had never practiced outside of dungeons and dragons) and it wasn't actually cringe like i was worried it would be.... mostly lmao. so ocs 1000000000% for sure!

[lunarleonardo]

Hiii!! I just binge-read all of love letter, fever frost, and impermanent atttachment in I kid you not 48 hours. I'm running on redbull and my danganronpa special interest rn... anyways, came to say your fics are amazing and life changing and I like Shuichi a lot more now

Also why does he keep getting kidnapped and tortured??? Lunar you may need a therapist 😥

O_O hooooo boy. gee willikers. please drink water

Im glad you liked those fics so much !! :D it's always nice to hear someone enjoyed my little tidbits of insanity (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡ must spread my shuichi propaganda.....yess....... its growing .......

I've actually had a few therapists, all of which I cant see anymore. Those I did have though have suggested that writing is actually a good outlet for me !! The only reason I ever posted my stories onto ao3 was because I wanted to try to work past some of my social anxiety (which at the time, was so bad I couldnt even talk to my teachers without freezing), and I only continued to post because of the support I got. I love writing stories and I love Danganronpa all the same, so getting to share that joy with people who shared my passion was super awesome (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+ .

To put it shortly, writing is my therapy, in a sense. I dont do well talking to people about how i feel or whatever, so expressing my feelings and ideas through characters is really the only thing I can do. I write for fun! But I also write to express things I cant put into words in the real world. Namely, my fears. And thats a whole nother conversation I dont mind getting into but wont right now since its not relevant xD

The reason Shuichi keeps getting kidnapped and tortured is because hes my favorite. I resonate with him and his trauma a lot. But its not just that. It's not that I like seeing characters get hurt!! The only reason I can write such things is because I know there will be a happy ending for them-- or at least, as happy as there can be. I enjoy the comfort part of things!! The initial rescue!! I like knowing that despite everything, no matter whats thrown their way, theyre going to be okay!!! (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

yeah i'm just a big sucker for hurt/comfort idk LMAO. There were hardly any Fucked Up shuichi fics out there as far as i could find in my heavily filtered searches so i just. wrote my own (⁠个⁠_⁠个⁠) be the change you want to see in the world or something like that

[gracetoldmeto]

really long rant: why am i so scared of everything?

note: the rest of this post was a draft i made a few days ago, and was going to let rot forever, but today has messed me up so much i just said *why not* and posted bc idk... why not...

im not like 'BOO!!! jumpscare' scared just like... there are so many things in life that could go wrong that are entirely out of your control and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, because shit happens and sometimes that shit is BAD and permanently fucks you over for life and thats just the way it is bc fate is a game of chance (this is my dramatic ass way of saying 'a forever change') but everyone says "oh if you cant control it then why worry?"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?

NO. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS I DO WORRY.

I could die tomorrow. I could get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow. Someone (else) I love could die (again) tomorrow. Maybe my house could burn down tomorrow. Maybe in some freak accident everything I've ever known is taken from me... somehow?

can i control any of this? no.

so what do i do about it??? anything i can to minimize the fallout just in case...

bc isnt that just called RESPONSIBILITY???

ie: house fire? -> ok. insurance.

medical? -> insurance.

death? (that isnt mine) -> stable income

(note #1: this is about the point in my writing of this post where i dont even have the motivation to finish it bc i just wanna sit down and cry... but i might as well)

so OKAY, guess what? i did something about all those possibilities, so my anxiety should be relieved, right? fear gone! all okay now!

WRONG!

all that structure ive created bc its the "rEsPoNsiBLe" way to live, is a slow painful depressing death of my mental health at the hands of my job

yes, id rather gain an inch than lose a mile, small sufferings over large,

but oh my god is that all life is? small sufferings???

if i keep only suffering one inch at a time im going to end up killing myself and i dont quite think anyone truly GETS that except my therapist

this isnt like high school where i knew jack shit about mental health, i know what help is out there, whether or not it works is a totally different story

(note #2: i have looked at my options, ive read the rules, and id actually rather take my metaphorical little plastic car you get at the start of The Game of LIFE boardgame and throw it out a fucking window)

im past the point of easy help and unfortunately the conclusion i keep coming back to is a quote from a fic i wrote last year...

whatever THIS life is, regardless of how much i worked my ASS off for it, i dont want it anymore

(note #3: i dont even think id be in this spot if i didnt have shit luck)

i am equally fucked by either...

1) being responsible, financially safe, insured, but sad af at my job and actively praying something kills me in my sleep

OR

2) quitting my job with no plan and being scared that fate is gonna fuck me over for the upteenth time and this time i wont be able to bounce back or (lets be real) even have a want to (but thats a discussion for another time)

this is no way to fucking live, yet here i am

why am i scared of everything? well, yes i know WHY (bc from personal experience i know what can go wrong)

why am i scared of everything? because you cant be scared of something if you dont know it exists BUT in order to be prepared and responsible it means you have to acknowledge that YES IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU

so how the hell am i supposed to be responsible when i hate what comes with it???

"hey alex, what do you wanna be when you grow up? (1) sad or (2) scared?"

actually neither, id rather simply not exist

why am i scared of everything? because how else am i supposed to act?

why am i scared of everything? because actually, there is no answer to this... there is no reason... its just another shit thing in life that iunno how to deal with

why am i scared of everything? because the universe said so and so thats how it is

and i fucking hate it

.

...ok thats all im gonna go make a quesadilla now

[steven-has-exploded]

massive apologies to all the tanizakiheads seeing me in this tag every other day but now that we have confirmation he and naomi arent even siblings, ive been looking back and just. realizing how weirdly their whole relationship is written BEYOND the alabama shit?

this is also gonna be a teensy bit long because i cannot shut the fuck up, anyways warning for mentions of s/a + some panels of That and incest. also naomi likers proceed with caution, i really dont even dislike her to be honest but the point of this post is to point out the really weird way her actions are written, so if u dont wanna see that then. there

so. ive realized that basically no part of their "activities" is written explicitly as being consensual on junichirou's end, and im unsure if asagiri even did this intentionally because its just. never talked about and also constantly treated like just a running gag

like maybe this is just the translation im reading but id say that it actually implies moreso that the stuff behind closed doors is nonconsensual rather than the opposite, the language used especially by junichirou really implies that theres at least something questionable in regards to that aspect, i.e. this page in chapter 15 right before naomi was taken into annes room by lucy

right before this is naomi saying that junichirou claimed hed "do anything she wanted", which. yeah im not gonna pretend like that isnt just supposed to be some haha funny kink joke, but junichirou claiming that she "forced" him to do something combined with that forms some really unsavory implications that i, again, dont think were intentional on asagiris part

and this continues through their interactions in the earlier chapters; every single time they talk about some kind of unspoken thing that happened between them, its always phrased like this. ive seen a considerable number of people in my time lurking over arguments online claim that junichirou is in on it because of this panel;

and while. firstly that isnt how consent works - second, since this entire fandom sees their relationship as weird in one way or another and not just funny like asagiri hoped we would and im coming at this from the same angle, this seems more like him trying to let her down softly instead of saying she can do whatever in private, since they were in the middle of an investigation at this point. "not here", at least to me, doesnt imply that hes chill with it in private, but that he just doesnt want whatever to happen in public based on the way its been written

and obviously this isnt even bringing up the fact that one of the first scenes we see of them just earlier in ch3 involves naomi groping junichirou in the middle of uzumaki cafe, because that obviously IS nonconsensual and its just. brushed off. like kunikida tells atsushi not to question it and then they just move on. its very obvious that asagiri wrote it this way because it was supposed to be a gag, but seemed completely unaware of the completely godawful implications of this situation just because its happening to a man. junichirou is visibly uncomfortable in all of these scenes, its heavily implied that theres a lack of consent beyond just the scenes on screen, and then its never brought up again because its supposed to be a "joke"

i dont know. i just wanted to point this out because from my personal perspective as a man whose also a victim of sexual harassment, particularly from a family member, this is the way it came off to me and ive been thinking about this for a bit. dont idolize asagiri thats the moral of the story here mans weird as shit

[mrpersikdream]

Okay, so i cant post on tiktok for ✨️russia✨️ reasons, and i dont know where else to put this but tumblr, so here we go

I have an idea on how to help families (and their dogs!!!) In Palestine

(❤️TLDR: read text in bold. Repost to tiktok if you can, please)

So we all know and love @ weratedogs on twitter (and most recently on tiktok).

They are a nice little acount with millions of subscribers on all their platforms. They regulary fundraise for dogs all over the world, but i couldnt help but notice the lack of speaking up on Palestinian gen0cide, and we dont tolerate that.

So basically my plan was to try and reach out to them and make them highlight a couple gofundmes that help doggos in Gaza and their families. Like, there are families with dogs there, there are kind people, bless their hearts, who still run shelters in theese conditions, and they need help too!!!

Like, i dont see a problem there. This would be intact with the theme of their profile - helping dogs in need. If they got a family with together their puppy out that would make for such a heartwarming story and make dog of the year! I see it as totaly doable.

But I cant make it alone. We need to all contact them in dms and via e-mail with messages and gofundme links, to the point where it would be impossible to ignore is anymore.

Contacting them is easy!

You could dm them on twitter, tiktok, wherever, or, i suggest, we all contact them via E-mail using their website:

I already DMed on tiktok and sent an E-Mail. Heres what i wrote. You can copy and paste if you dont wanna come up with your own:

Hey! I really love your profile and everything that you do for puppies and dogs, you seem like a really nice person. In the light of recent events i couldnt help but notice your lack of acknouledgement of the wая in Ра1еsт1ие.

I would love to bring to your attention that there are thousands of dogs in Gаза who need our help and thousands of families who have dogs who need money to get out. I found at leas 5 gofundmes just by searching "gаза dogs" on gofundme . com. You raise money for puppies in need all the time, and dogs and most importantly their owners in Ра1еsтiие need our help now more than ever.

Im sure you care for all the innocent lives lost there, but might be scared of public backlash. I assure you, whatever small thing you do would count. Even though the best time to speak out was months ago, second best time is NOW.

Here is one popular foundraiser i found on gofundme, but there are many, many more, less popular ones. If you speak about them that can make ALL the difference to those doggos

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-the-sulala-animal-rescue-in-gaza?qid=e7e0be6b60e9067a01da3aea85cfd66d

Thank you so much for your concideration

Now, I am not naive, and i know that it might turn out that @ weratedogs os a terrible person and just does not care, or worst, a z10n1st or something. But thats not the point right now. All that mattsrs is that we come together and try our best to convince them to advertise those gofundmes to their millions of followers, or tell stories of Pаlestinian doggos and their owners who are stuck in a terrible situation right now.

Thank you so much for staying this far and

REPOST TO TIKTOK IF YOU CAN!!!!

I cant post to international tiktok from Russia with my cracked version, so, please, if you have tiktok, TELL THEM MY IDEA and lets raid @ weratesogs' dms!!!!!

Love yall!!!! No freedom untill we are all free✊️

[crguang]

I want to let you know that I actually squealed when I saw that there was a new part of wasted w longing, so that was embarrassing. I giggled so much, love me some domestic fluff, I also gasped so hard at the ending that I started choking. can't believe you updated while I was in class so didn't see it until later.

kafka is so smug I hate her, I want to kiss her on the mouth so bad she's such a weirdo, but at the same time, I'm mad at her, I'll forgive her if she comes home early on my pulls tho, and also some kafka groveling, very excited to see that. also the writing is so good, like at the end I was questing everything about r's encounter's w kafka. and you said replying to someone else's ask that kafka cares atp. wdym atp? istg I love angst but I can't handle angsty endings being w out kafka also you said himeko is going to show up again, and I know that'll be funny. the cliffhangers are killing me, but I'm really excited for the next part, the plot is plotting. also the way at the beginning I literally said out loud, "oh she just got shot, it's okay."

the wanted poster is so funny, like whoever wrote it down must've seen footage of her shooting people as she breaks into somewhere and thought, damn, she is hot as fuck, and tbh that was my thought process when I watched kafka's trailer the first time.

hope your first day at uni was good! if you made me loose my 50/50 I'll---

-🌠

not the squealinggg thats so cute im flattered. it’s funny whenever yall say i post when yall are busy because it’s always 4 to 6 am here i have a horrible sleep schedule 😭 i loved writing the more domestic part cause that’s the first time they actually spend time together without sleeping together and it was kinda cuteee, if you ignore the getting shot part.

“i hate her i wanna kiss her on the mouth shes such a weirdo” is exactly how i feel about kafka im so glad im not alone… also, i meant that at this point of the story kafka already knows that she likes R; she goes out of her way to look out for them, she stares a lot, wants to help them through their dilemma and other stuff that’ll come later. in her mind shes not in love with them but she does like them. i think due to her closed off nature, a lot of the little hints of how she feels are in the way she looks at R and since this is written from R’s (sometimes unreliable) perspective, i mentioned how they can’t read her eyes yet so to them there’s no reciprocation right now. and now that they’re mad at her everything she does will feel disingenuous when it might not be. it’s tricky to write bc as readers i want people to be able to tell that kafka cares even when she’s being a little shit while also staying true to how R sees things. i do think it’ll become much more obvious starting from the next chapter tho cause there will be some grovelling involved lmfaoo.

also this was literally her at the end:

r: i will call the police on you.

kafka: i am so attracted to you right now

its funny, R is always making themself available for her and has been doing that from the beginning so kafka’s very used to this behavior and its the reason why she’s so fucking smug. but now she’s seeing a new side to them that she really likes. they’re standing up for themself and i think it’s a quality that she’d find really attractive in a person. but yeah it’s fun i love this series mainly because the idea mostly came from anons so i love hearing what yall think about it.

my first day at uni was nice!! im looking to getting my shit together honestly, i feel like an actual adult now so hopefully it helps with my mood as well and makes it easier for me to be productive cause i dont write fast at all. if you lose the 50/50 bc of me i’ll write whatever you want as consolation prize

[undeadbanjos]

Pls tell us about the divorce over fic

pffft yeah okay. but i warn, it's not as fun as it sounds. so. tw for an abusive marriage/relationship.

story time.

so those who follow me currently probably know me primarlily for being one of three people crazy over wishshipping or joey wheeler in general in the yugioh fandom. particularly writing a good 80+ chapter long fic.

however. this was not my first fic. my first fic... was for in space with markiplier.

for those who dont know, markiplier (yes, the youtuber) actually has his own series of (mostly) choose your own adventure videos. and theyre all connected. his last series of videos was split into two massive parts, and he did this q&a after it was all said and done and someone asked if he'd ever do a part 3.

he said, "no, that's up to one of you guys to write."

well after 3 days of obsessively checking ao3 no one had taken up that challenge and even though i had never written a piece of fiction in my life the hyperfixation was so strong i sat down and started writing.

and dear god something came over me. i had 8 chapters written in the span of a day.

for a while, id post two chapters a day. which is...insane. like why the fuck did i do that? but eventually i managed to narrow it down to one chapter a day (which i know is still insane and for some fucking reason is what i currently do when in my writing fits.)

being this manic long fic writer that came out of no where i started to get some attention. memes were made in support of my story. people were talking about it. hell, i started to make friends, really a first for me in fandom space. someone made a joke about making a discord server. i asked if that was a legitimate interest to anyone and i got an overwhelming yes from several people so, i made one.

my husband at the time, found out i was doing something different in my off time. i'd put the baby to bed and go to my computer and start writing. i was laughing a lot more and checking my phone a lot (for fic comments, a habit i still have while in my posting fits). finally he confronted me.

"What is it you're doing on your phone all the time?"

"I.... wrote a fanfic. I get a lot of comments."

"Is it a smut?"

annoyed, I confessed that yes, there were a few smut chapters. He asked if he could read it. I gave him the link.

he was deeply disturbed by the smut. (He didn't even read the rest of it. like....the actual story I was writing.) the smut? I mean dude you could go look at it but I mean it's pretty vanilla sex between two consenting fictional adults, but whatever. I knew he wouldn't like it. at this point in our marriage he had already stated everything I liked was annoying.

anyway. when he found out I had made friends... he got really upset. he didn't want me to have other "influences tainting my mind." i shot him back with the fact he has friends online, so why couldn't i? he didn't like it, but he warned me to be careful.

then i met sitch.

those of you who know me are nodding their head. ah, yes sitch. those who have stumbled upon this rambling probably can tell this is where the story takes a turn because i know how to set things up. by god ive written like 160 chapters of fanfiction at this point.

anywho. this guy comments on my fic and asks permission to make fanart for it. this was so fucking wild to me. fanart? for MY fic? like who would have thought. i reply enthusiastically with a yes and tell him im on tumblr so please tag me so i can see it. a few days pass and i get a dm. it's the same guy. he's made the fanart. i love it. we chat a little about the fic. about in space. about music. slowly it starts creeping into talking about life. about anything, everything. it was kinda wild how i had met someone and felt like ive known him forever. this of course, is sitch. when the discord thing came up, i decided to ask him for help, because i literally didnt even have a discord at the time.

sitch helps me with the discord. we find some mods. we open the floodgates. swear to god about 40-50 people come in. some are more chatty than others. we all chat like good friends. i update the fic daily. we all find out we relate to each other a lot. we have movie nights and game nights. i continue writing the fic, even getting help from sitch at this point. he's become sort of my beta reader. (and now he's my editor thank god the yujou means friendship people have no idea how blessed they are)

i realize. fuck. these people...really relate to me. like me even. and i like them.

and sitch....sitch in particular...i really like.

i am in deep shit.

at this point, my husband is making it well known how much he disapproves how im spending my time. not that... he wanted to spend time with me though? he locked himself in his office and would play his own games. what he didnt like is i had found people that i relate to. that i could talk to. meanwhile i was reaching the point i was afraid to say literally anything around him.

at this point, he started teasing me about "having a crush on markiplier" and he would "joke" about me leaving him for markiplier or some shit. He started arguing with me about sexuality and gender out of no where, knowing what my stance was on it.

I don't really want to get into what my breaking point was.

A few weeks went by. I started to confide in my friends, and I started to confide in Sitch. One night, my brain came up with some logic that if I told him about the feelings I was developing (because they were only growing) he would reject me and we'd laugh it off.

Unfortunately it wasn't so simple.

For a week we were in this odd stalemate. Living in different countries but talking constantly. Having essentially an emotional affair, but knowing there was nothing really to do. I had no belief that I could make it on my own, and I knew I would get a lot of backlash from my family if I were to leave my husband. The weekend came and my husband got it out of me. I had feelings for one of my online friends. And I had confessed it to him.

My husband took my laptop and went through the messages. All of them. i fled to my parents house and tried to warn sitch that he had my laptop.

The next day, my husband convinced me I needed to delete everything. The discord server. My Tumblr. Even the fic. He essentially convinced me I was at an all time low of horribleness, and I believed him.

A week later I couldn't take it anymore. I missed my friends. Id sadly felt more loved by them than anyone around me. Which yeah, is pretty damn pathetic. I left my husband, and found my friends had already made a new discord, waiting for me. They had downloaded the fic, which I slowly re-uploaded and eventually finished. And sitch and I slowly built our relationship, have now met in person, and we're hoping he's able to move down here soon.

So yeah. I wrote a Markiplier fanfic and it led to me getting a divorce. Which honestly, thank god. I don't want to think about what would have happened to me if I hadn't.