#i dont know how to tag it i hate to tag it covid

[ganondoodle]

okay i typed this in a reply but i need to say this more detailed here too, the way totk dealt with horses (and stables) is bad and worse than botw imo (yes i can rant about that too, these weird choices are in every little spot in totk, its almost impressive)

in a game that lets you build cars and stupid flying maschines, towers that shoot you into the stratosphere AND teleporting points all over the place, the chance is already low that you use a horse- though i would be one of them bc i love horses and hate building and didnt find it fun at all-

(also i almost never used any parts i had with me bc you cant put them back and your dumb vehicles despawn as soon as you dont look at them- also a negative thing about that system that reinforces the feeling of actually using it being more punishing than rewarding with the added bonus of the good ol saving your health potions forever problem)

-and something i DID like was that you can have more horses and the ... one.. new color (the lil spots but only AFTER you do that one quest in the spy post)

the stable points seemed like a neat idea, but like so many things, are utterly cheatable, imo the system should have only given you a point when you visit a new stable, so you actually have to go around and visit them all

(also .. add new stables, like mini ones or sth that dont offer beds- you dont need that anyway- so you have more places in which you can get them ... why did they remove some of them anyway, shouldn there be MORE now that the land is supposedly healing/being repaired? especially the one next to the big canyon, its so empty there it would have the perfect place for sth like a new settlement or a big boss arena but no its more empty than it was before, why?? and then putting yet another repeating annoying quest there in that weirld empty place?? i just dont get it)

letting you farm points by sleeping at a stable or bringing in a horse gives you LESS incentive to actually go around the world bc you can just farm it there

(and if that was done so youd 'discover' the malanya talks to you in your sleep 'secret' ... that is literally told to you, and if its bc you dont want to force players to go around and find every stable to get all those rewards ... why do you have 140 or whatver caves then with the majority of them being the literal same thing over and over ... to make people actually use the sleeping thing there? .. why, who uses that anyway, and farming points by sleeping there .. what the hell does that add? AND THEN the stupid sleep over tickets, probably the most nothign reward ever, dont count?? i dont think i ever used one- it just all doesnt make any sense, everything plays against each other)

the upgrading system for your horse is .. once again, a neat idea horribly executed, you have to go find malanya to upgrade them, and similarly stupidly like the fairies, they only tell you what food you need for what upgrade when you are there .. or when you are sleeping in the special tm bed at a stable, randomly, one food, bc the quantity changes too

which is just so ??????????? let me go and do a quest that rewards you with a lil booklet in which you can look up what an upgrade costs, or let the stables have that, either as a list or in the menu when selecting a horse or something?? (also why the hell is malanya in a different spot anyway, like, it feels like a modder just plopped them over there, their og spot is just empty now - except for yet again a stupid filler quest for .. another big horse and a yaaaaaaaaays crystal shrine quest- ... the spot is even still called spring of the horse god .... its so stupid, just like the fairy shuffling around, like you really couldnt think of a better way to reuse that concept other than to ... move it to a different spot in the same map and map level???? and not change anything in their og spot except idk, put a hole in the map ... for one of them like .. its like they moved them around last minute just to have the semblance of things being 'changed' with no regard what makes a change actually feel like one and what just feels like, pick up thing, click on random spot on map, drop thing- its like that for the fairies and shrines too, its so dumb and .. feels disrepectful to botw and how much thought seemed to have went into these spots that were clearly built about those things)

and like it couldnt get WORSE, they cut off the paths that horses follow automatically with one of those miasma buttholes (sorry its just a hole cut into the map, it doesnt even look like miasma burst through, it just .. cut out) a monster camp (that RESPAWNS, i thought those camps you clear with a quest would stay clear, but that would make sense, so of course it respawns and you can do the frame rate killer quest over and over yippieee) or otherwise like, with a big rock or a broken bridge-

and there is NO WAY to create a new path or fix or move anything in a game ABOUT BUILDING supposedly, like you needed more reasons to never use a horse????? i liked jsut hopping on and letting them follow a path and chill looking at the landscape, you cant do this here, and you cant even excuse it with 'its bc of the theme' as in, stuff is destroyed bc calamity 1.5 or whatever bc nothing in the game makes it feel like theres anything actually at stake, but the real crime is to make it not be fixable. WHY??? link moves entire buildings with ease but cant move one freaking rock that fell into a river?????? you swing around logs like a club but cant fix a bridge so your horse can get over it??????????????????????????????

[californiaquail]

cannot fucking wait to get this new covid vaccine shoot me tf up ‼️‼️

[sparkleyiff]

Not sure if I'll be doing anything more for artfight this year I am. suffering. sorry :(

[cyaneyedcl]

fandom culture rant

tldr; dont go shitting on people's works just bcs u didnt like it, thats some disgusting asshole behavior, fuck u if u do so.

and pls show your fanfic writers lots of appreciation, they are the biggest backbone in most fandoms, they deserve nothing but love.

there's something so insane and illogical when it comes to the people that read fanfics (which have clear explicit and alternative universe tags) yet proceed to complain about how these had ��� surprise, suprise! — sexual content and scenarios/personalities that weren't an exact copy of the ones in the source media.

and usually one would want to believe people will keep their opinions to themselves or rant about it in a private space with close friend(s), because that's the bare minimum one can do to show some respect towards a writer that shared their fanwork for free.

but recently, that's not been the case.

bcs now there's this new trend going around (specifically in tiktok, to the surprise of nobody) where people publish videos talking about how a certain fanfic was — and i quote — "incredibily ooc", "genuinely weird", "overrated", "poorly written", "a freak fest".

and this type of behavior wouldn't be so shocking (even tho is not ok) if it was coming from one random person in the internet, but because this is happening in tiktok (which is a well-known platform for having the biggest audience reach when it comes to social media apps) the hate is extremely amplified.

when i tell u the amount of hate these tiktoks gather is insane, i mean i've seen them surpass the 3,000+ comments (which is more than half of the comments the fanfic has). and most of these consist of people sharing their even more aggressive opinions about the fanfic, or even saying how "this other fanfic is better".

it honestly mind blows me every time i see this happening, because — or at least in my experience — there's always been this unsaid rule (even though i'd dare to say it's more of a sense of logic) in fandom spaces where everybody knows that if you didn't like the work of a fan, you close the tab and move on with your day. because, what do you gain for belittling the efforts/hard-work someone put in something that won't change the source media, or ur life?

and if you are one of those bystanders that applies the whole "people need to learn to take criticism" to this situation then u are wrong. no debates. because,

in this case, this so-called criticism it's just a sugar-coat for hateful comments.

that is NOT how criticism works, not when the author didn't ask for any feedback what-so-ever and even less when we are talking about a story that nobody pays for to consume it.

it's baffling to see readers develop this liberty that makes them think it's ok to say whatever they feel like saying about fandom works, without taking in consideration that behind every fanfic, fanart, music, skit, etc. there's a person that probably felt proud of their work and is happy about creating something.

also, i feel in the need to clear out that even though i'm talking about a specific fanfic in this post (which is in the tags in case u haven't figured it out yet), it's definitely not the only one that's received this treatment. i've seen it happen in the kpop, danmei, and harry potter side too, specially in marauders.

i believe this behavior is due to a shift in fandom culture that started because of covid, but that's like, a whole other rant post for another day.

[draculeo]

well if you really want to know how people perceive you ill be overly detailed and annoying. im 17 so idk if that impacts anything lol. i found your blog in the beginnings of covid in 2020 and ur like one of the 4 blogs i regularly check as im not really a tumblrina. at first i followed you for your analyses of percy jackson as well as commentary as this was the time when rick riordan published those whack ass blog posts. youve greatly influenced my critical thinking process since, not to give you all the credit, but i used to be so robotic and basic in analyzing things whether it be media or situations. you know how most high school english classes suck because people will tie everything back to muh society but fail to dive into specifics in a tailored and nuanced way? yeah. i appreciate how you tie in the whole of things when discussing, for example, a book or movie, rather than just going with the common interpretation. you also just think differently, i dont know how to describe it without sounding like beyonce lmao but i think its really evident especially in your college essays that youve posted on here that youre just on a different plane than the rest of us plebians lmao. in a good way. i think that you really do embrace kindness, and instead of falsely saying you have only love in your heart, you acknowledge that theres more than a black and white love and hate within people, and that it requires active work to be kind to others. i think thats pretty rare within the vast majority of optimists. or maybe im just a pessimist. besides all of that, youre genuinely gorgeous and hilarious to the point of it being contagious, and your sense of humor is infectious. finally i have to say your poetry completely shattered me and rebuilt me. and im saying this as someone whos decently well read and subscribes to the poem in your inbox a day thing lmao. i remember your poems so clearly. about being a horror, your grandfather, homes and chests, a rose by any other name, your mother, etc etc. you have a fucking gift to the point where it confuses me that i just happened to find you off of scrolling through the pjo tag. anyways sorry for the painfully long ask, but i genuinely love reading your thoughts every few days on here. you need to flaunt the yale trap card more often btw

I AM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS YOURE TRULY EVERYTHING TO ME. THANK YOU FOR WITNESSING ME

[regisraven-a]

get to know the author!

name : taj 👑 pronouns : she / her. preference of communication : astral projection. most active muse(s) : ( counting my multi in ) nikolai, more often that i'd like it to be. but i am also pretty consistent with inej. experience / how many years : since 2016, i cant do math. but i started on fb rp ( 💀 ) much before ! best experience : the good ol' 2020 covid lockdown ! hate that it was a terrible time in reality but my rp career was ✨thriving✨ because it was also the time that I came back to rp after a break of 2 years. ( was buddy-reading grishaverse with a friend and it permanently rotted my brain ) miss those times :(( rp pet peeves : asking the dash for suggestions and then literally ignoring all requests like ofc you're not obligated to follow it up but at least dont say 'nobody gave me suggestions :/' and also ppl who think about rp too critically and bash those who don't like sorry i read/indulge in media to enjoy and not to analyse it in a petri dish like i'm a lab scientist. plots or memes : both! I would say I have a preference for plots but I'm so bad at plotting lmao so i like to wing it with rp memes and take it from there. are you like your muse(s) : NO LMAO imagine if i used the word 'repugnant' in real life, i'd be banished so fast. i dont have gansey's optimism, social skills, charisma or his prep-school fashion sense. also the lack of money and stuff

tagged by: no one! stolen hehe tagging: steal it from me & tag me in it so i can read about yall

[gusgoose69]

I know I'm not really the exact target demograohic as someone at least outwardly mentally and phisically healthy, but as someone who feels like theyre just loosing regular ol sanity and resistance to what other people seem to think is all just fine to expect me to do.

this was going to go into the tags but i want to actually post a rant as if it matters so uhh

i have an exam tomorrow and I'm feeling like garbage because I've not prepared at all. It's because I had a really really bad semester with like a whole month of being ill with probably covid but i never actually checked and chronic fatigue for like 3 months and the perfectionist in me wouldn't let me rest or be sick so i just forced myself to go to classes and perpetuated it all.

Now I am left with zero recolection of the class content from this half of the year and I am surely going to fail. I just didn't or couldn't study, focus, produce coursework or turn up to many of the lessons.

I have the school's mental health services behind me but that'll only really help with getting retake exams guaranteed. The councelors have been very typical in that they seem to just say "ah yes it seems as though you are aware of what's wrong and what to do" which no i fucking do not. I need an actual psychiatrist so bad but idk how to go to that I am somewhat scared of being infantalised as someone who definately is on the adhd and asd spectrums which from what i've heard is a very real possibility.

Dieting and exercise has been tough and I feel just guilty. I'm not even eating that unhealthy I think i just have an ed again is only getting more of a grasp on me since i always feel fat because of stress eating in previous semesters and I just dont want to exist in my own skin. thats not even broaching onto gender and those problems but thats for later at this point. trying to diet with no plan and a reliance on food for enjoyment in the day quite alot of the time as someone whos a very very hungry dude is tough.

Jesus christ dude I had hope of me actually getting a bit better at this shit this year.

I'm a failure and i know thats ok and that i should hold myself to the same standards as i hold others but it still hurts. and it hasn't even happened yet. i hate this. impending doom of the most menial proportion.

i feel fine but i just want to be able to relax and enjoy myself for once in my fucking life. i want to not be either stressed from boredom in summer or regular stressed during semester time. I want to actually be able to have friends in summer and actually have fun for once in my life. i hate living at home surrounded by all those stupid piss ugly fields. It all sucks and I just don't enjoy any of this cycle. why did i think 'ah yes of course, four years of grueling work is a perfectly reasonable requirement to be able to live as a real person' and not just go live as a real person.

part of me really wants to give up and just not do any more of my course and just buy tears of the kingdom and not revise any more but a very core part of mte just would't accept that so I want to keep working but knowing that this will fail initially and then I can try again soon means that I can just not worry means I'm not worried therefore not motivated and not able to do the work. but if the exam is important then its unsalvageable and that sucks and im stressed the fuck out and cant work because the second i try and work I

I'm just loosing my mind out here man. and im sleepy good night to you all

sending love out tonight to everyone who is progressively losing their abilities, whether that's movement, ability to walk, eyesight, or hearing.

it's hard to come to terms with the fact that you can't do things that you used to be able to do. I'll be honest, it feels like you're losing control of your life. it can feel very isolating and hopeless. its scary and overwhelming, and it's so hard to deal with.

you are not less than just because you can do less. im proud of you for still being here, and i wish you ease with adjusting to new ways of life. please take care of yourself, i love you.

[awkward-fink]

Hi, Fink! :D You know, I like your answers a lot! The one about the recipe book was really sweet, actually! :> I'm wishing you a very nice wedding! 13 years is a very long time, so I'm sure you and your partner will last :> Best of everything, though!!! And yeah, I never reblogged any of those games, actually, because I knew no one really cared about me as a person and that everyone was just here for my writing and nothing else ^^; I wanna make others feel appreciated, though! Especially other writers! I hope I can convey this through my nonsensical tags! If not, then I shall send you asks telling you how great your writing is :>

I hope you won't get overwhelmed, though! Because I used to get 2-3 requests per day and towards the end, I gotta admit, I hated most requests that I got ^^; So I hope you'll have more fun than I did :>

Anyway! How about 🖇 ⭐️ 📝 🌞?

I think that's most of the questions, actually! Some of those are rather personal, and I'm not sure if I should ask those, but I think the ones I asked should be okay! Anyway, have a nice day :>

Hello Seeks! (sorry I abreviated your name, hope it is alright to you?!) Yeah, 13 years sure are a long time. But it feels like so much longer and only a few years at the same time. I trust my other half completely and we are quite alright together. I would spam you if you ever posted something like this and I would be able to see it XD I can be a right menace about this! You make me feel very appreciated and I love your tags and your messages, i smile wide when I get something from you! Nonsensical tags are a love language on their own and I am here for this! You rule with those!

And really you can ask anything, if I dont want to answer something, I am going to speak up, for sure!

Wish you a wonderful evening!!

⭐️ what is one of your biggest accomplishments? Why is it so important to you?

Uff…. I don’t think I have one? I mean, I don’t count my relationship that’s going for 13 years now, I don’t count my university graduation. I think it would probably be me, holding out all alone 500km away from my family and my other half for the Covid time. The restrictions in the area I was in, were very strict. I couldn’t have visitors, I was not allowed out, I was not allowed to meet anyone at work. And so on. It was very lonely. But I held on for 2 years. Until I decided for myself, enough is enough. Quit work, looked for a new job more at my old home and my other half. Thankfully found something.

What did I take away from that? “Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you know.” (Winnie the Pooh.) 

📝 last thing you wrote

…. Porn.  Something I don’t think I will post on tumble. Maybe on Archive later on, but… we will see. Not many seemed to like my last work of that art here on Tumblr XD

🖇 what are your favorite asks to answer

….. O.O ehm.. Don’t know? I have fun writing so I try everything. I might prefer something slightly silly or slice-of-life, or Horror, but really, I like trying to write other things. And answering asks? Just gimme some and I will throw something out^^ And if I don’t like something, I am going to say so.

🌞 A show you would recommend to anyone

The Great British Bake Off or TopGear (the older ones) or MythBusters! Every one of those is fun and you learn something^^ Most of my science knowledge came from there, every one of those 3 shows holds precious knowledge.

[solardick]

Oh you mean the rape fantasies they gave me for a covid inoculation the one where i get raped by a couple guys. Is great ol’fun. Mmaybe if this new age apocaalyptic, peace and love bs. Stoped raping my existance since my first memory id actually have a life. But no. I get fucked since the begining of time and there isnt even a lesson in it.

Fags are like women all they’re good for is causing you pain and suffering. The only difference is one is dellusion and ugly and the other is pretty and spychotic.

When have in the thiudands of tome where other oit themselves over me had it resulted in anything good? Never. Fuck off. And ket me die.

At least with woman the famtasy is healthy and proactive. And supportive. Where the toaster pligs inyo a wall and not a toilet. But im only on this earth for one reasin and thats to he property and used and shipped around and raped like since my first memiru. Nothing gas changed.

Accirding to reality. The hermit gas nothinv to do with wisdom. Its lonely and mesery. Tgere are no positive tarot cards. I dint get why they are popular. But hey

MYbe i can get dised worh done more anti-spychotics myself and be dised back into being a braindead retard afain.

I winder hiw far away from reality i can get where i dont lose my sanity. Its great fun being franed into sonething your not.

Alcohols hits harder during the day than the night. That one beer felt like three. I m going to start drinking. Hopefullyni womt get raped by my own spyche for a while more. And i need to remind myself to go get my hunting permit.

Inhope that girl isnt in love with me. If rather save the hardship. Im not worth it. Im not worth anything. Im just a marionette. I just do what they make me do. And look at how well that plays out. Maybe my life with have meaning after im gone. Thats usually the case with “artists”. no one cares. They just take your stuff after your gine and put a orice tag on iy

As for tarot as it stands after reading it. It’s complete trash. Take everyone of those “archetypes” and flip its gender. You’ll see a big difference. But none of that really matters. Its just a copy paste on what’s already on circulation. Ehats in circulation will have dominance or priority of way. Anyway.

And alm obtainable information on whatever that obscure. Isn’t trustworthy. If it makes sense good for you. There all little bodies of meaning. And for some as the person the pur led their being into and became immortalized as a result. Thry reach out and cover over what’s there.

Not mych difference between that and hearing old songs from the piblic radio stations being covered by the opposite gender. And it clicks, because its never in mind, it was meant to be that gender singing it the whole time. Take the song. So popularized as “creep.” Its even queerer than “we are the champions” or bohemian rhapsody or how ever its spelt…. Music? ….. uh.

My heart sinks a bit everytime a crowd of “heteros” from a sports team or something sings aloud. Ugh.

Ive been “studying” media all my life. Not much else to do. And by others intent. I hate this. Theyve been doing it to me long before they ever started trying. My brain is nothing but, brainwashing.

Guess im not allowed seeing the world as not a hostile place to be in. 30 years of one thing. And then you twist it and transfer it to another. Nope. Cant not be. The world is t a fucken circle. Jessus.

Nothing but negative venus, plenty of womanly men. Plenty of drug connections. And stupid bs. Plenty of violence and negativity. Still with the knowing smirks. Making all this affects during “my personal transits” replacing what my act would do for your own i tent i stea dof mine.

Its never going to end. Its all its ever been. Just stupid bs and violence.

And i dont understand why. One of the reasons i went to astrology. An dit gave me a bit of comfort and a bit of security. Everytime id look at somethign spychological my mother went put me down. It the inly way i can understand. It’s always been. I cant keep going anymore. Im breaking down. Again. How can someone live like this? There’s nothing there. At this magnitude? Why do you keep me alive?

And why sisnt you just kill me 30 years ago? Ive been wanting to doe for the last 25 years. And all upu do is abuse me.

Now what? What to do. The tv saps my energy. Maybe i should go back out to the bar. Its getting late.

Wheres the loving conversation? Oh, yeah ,right. Im not allowed to have any. Even though im all moon and saturn. Im not allowed having that responsibility. Bah breeding is for the imvompetant and the malvolent.

Well guessni aint breeding. And theres nothign else to accomplish that has any meaning or significance doen the line. Being alive is pointless. Its just a waste of time. Abusive time. Thtas all there is.

Now eccuse me i have to rety and get more than 4 hours of sleep and then go hang out woth a bunch of people that irritate and frustrate me with stupidity and violence. Or girly man crap. And me having no RnR from the consistency of the bs. Its always like that. There aint no rest for the abusive. I said you had a good singing voice. I dosnt say i wanted to listen to you sing female pop artist hits. Jesus. Wahts next you gonna start singing me britney spears, join a brothel and beat on men.

My sense are heightwned. Doibt im sleeping tomight. Oh well no work tomorow. Whoopy do.

Probably got driggrd with speed or something again. They like to drug me.

Hahahahha. Ywah ok.

Hey everyone. Theres this thing called astrology that lets anyone on thr planets to fuck woth yout life. Os fantastic. But if yiur not into that sort of thing you can go blow jesus.

Yay. Back to normal again. But venus transits comjng to a close in congruence to the unatural weather? +2? Frequent rain in january? Temperature drops 10°s. Happens. When ever the weather is fucked its with a “personal” transit. Been this way for the last few years that ive picked up.

Its like im so “collectivized” i control nature.

Hey look, i made a joke. Time for y’all to take it seriously. And cause me pain. And during that whole time y’all removed my latest sexual harrasser from being around me. I atarted global warning because i smoke ciggarettes. Sorry i took y’alls pure white loving christmas. Nows its a wet, green christmas. Where i dont need wearing a hacket until jahuary. Your welcome i destroy outdoor winter sports. Nature is ny obly social constant. Gice me more power. I want to cintrol the planet with my justice. Maybe i am developing into a nazi. Shitty life circumstances cause “hitler” to rape the environment right back. 7 fold. It says so in the bible. So i other words they dont want ke walking away from this girl. I dont know man…. But thays ok. They atent a venus figure abyway. Theur a pluonic mats figure. E

Where im given to the fantasy to “dominate”. Oouuu

Its all pickle and pineapples today…. Good fortune. And giving. Never mind it was just a freak 5 min period tgat just seens out if place. Good fortune?! Fuck iff.

Ok, ok. Everything is alright now. I see. And i want to be convinced. But i still ain’t. Still afraid. Or whatnot. Interference to others plans. Resistance And diligence and all that stuff. So even if whatever happens as i go through it. Then atleast ive kept what matters inside not to be bound to the effects. The next scene comes along.

I never got the whole trans thing. Kept bringing it back, like it bothered me. I may have experimented with underwear at one point. And you know what? A man thong can be pretty comfortable. In the sense that it keeps your balls up while feeling like you aint wearing nothing at all. And then you butt cheeks are frotting agaisnt your pants and not cuchoned from the sensation. Not very practical though.

And of course im always going to have a peace of cherry inside me. Love that persona. Not to crackpot bs she gave me. Thats too bad. Sometimes she reads right along with me. Its mine. I own it.

What i did love was find the purest most innocent part of you i saw. And i pulled on it. Your all demon on top. To the point of tattooing it on you. But naw. I went way back. To the beginning. Pieced it together with what i already knew. What little social wisdom i had to the opposite sex. And pleaded to it. Didnt care what games you played. Because i wasnt talking to that other you. And i didnt give much attention to anything you posted. Didnt care. I think your poetry is trash. You couldnt poet your way into any society.

Come now girl. You know you want to hit me. 😜

[trinidaddy88]

Tw fatphobia with self esteem issues

Doing a read more than tagging bc i dont want randos finding this post

Its sad how embarrassed and stupid I felt telling my therapist that when I was sick with covid and pneumonia that I was slightly happy that I lost 10 pounds due to being sick while it happened. I knew I felt that way but I never wanted to admit that to myself or say it out loud bc I know how bad it sounds and I really want to believe that I don't have self esteem issues and have feelings about being fat but self hatred is real and I really am affected by societal norms and beauty standards. I still don't know why my brain is fine and supportive of other fat people but I hate myself so much. I think realizing that makes me feel worse about myself that I can't be kind to my changing body. Lol good thing I'm in therapy right?

[mikeellee]

I posted 6,162 times in 2022

That's 2,396 more posts than 2021!

88 posts created (1%)

6,074 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@itsnothingofinterest

@professionalranter31

@fleshisprison

@writing-prompt-s

@anti-bakugou-memes

I tagged 84 of my posts in 2022

#hori is a bad writer - 37 posts

#shigadeku - 24 posts

#tomudeku - 20 posts

#the way a lot of the fandom treats izuku just bothers me - 19 posts

#anti horikoshi - 18 posts

#shigaraki x deku - 17 posts

#shigaraki tomura - 10 posts

#anti bakugou - 10 posts

#izuku midoriya - 10 posts

#tomura shigaraki - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 84 characters

#he cant make shiggy so white and black mentality and then boom time for izu save him

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

So I don’t usually talk about the king aka Shigaraki in my rants...so I want to reticify that.

Before I move on...just to be clear. I do love Shiggy. This is not me being a hater and if you have a different opinion about Shiggy...ok. That’s valid.

My main grip about Shiggy... is how he has no real end goal. I know people here on tumblr have analyses, essays and whatnot about how Shiggy must be the Messiah that will get rid of bad heroes or capitalism or anything like that.

I like this idea. I would read a fic like that.

The problem is when people really think in Hori’s canon...Shiggy is indeed a messiah who will set all the fair people free from the unjust system.

Like, dont we all live in a shit society? I can’t speak for all but in my country we rather revult about Superman’s son kissing a man than...a genocide president who mock the victims of covid.

And yeah in moments like this....is nice going to escapism. People facing na evil ruler/regime and bringing real changes for the kingdom and everyone is happy.

I get it. I like those stories.

But on Shiggy’s part. On Hori’s canon part...we dont know what HE wants.

Duh he wants destruction. One may say.

Ok...he wants to destroy the heroes....ok then I ask

Does he want a literal destruction? Are we rooting for a villain who wants to commit genocide?

(In the war arc he did many bad thinga and yes we can say “AFO controlled him” sure but he still had some control over his action to a certain point and he shows no remorse)

Does he wants a metaphorical destruction?

Does he plans in making something anew?

What Shiggy wants? ( aside a fine 🥦)

We dont know...we will never know as AFO is treating Shiggy as his flesh puppet for reasons unknown for us.

I know there are many posts saying “shiggy will end the corruption” and I have to say...NO HE WONT. Not on Hori’s canon.

Shiggy’s motivation/goals arent totally his. His father hated heroes. AFO increased that to 11.

Shiggy is not speaking about the flaws of the hero society to everyone but more about how the society failed him. How no one saved him.

(He wanted to be saved by Zuzu but...headed by Hori...look if Hori had made them inferact and had a relationship that would have been amazing but, again, headed by Hori 🙄)

Shiggy speaks about his pain and trauma and I notice how the victims in the story need to be shut and accept their abuser ( case point, look at how hori treats Izu)

Shiggy is vilanize and abused by the narrative for daring to want revenge on his pain.

And again, headed by hori, its a bit hard to forgetten Shiggy’s action and LoV’s (Says the person who likes the idea of them winning with Zuzu)

This make me think of MCU Loki...and how he killed many people in the first avanger’s movie.

Sure. He killed of screen and all are faceless and nameless but here the thing...if we are to accept Loki was brainwashed by Thanos...even so, he indirectly killed those people....does he feel remorse?

Bc LoV and Shiggy show no remorse. Asad backstory is not free card for a character to do whatever.

Also for the togaocha out there....in hori’s canon THIS IS HORSE SHIT. Look ship what you want, I BET YOU CAN BE BETTER THAN HORI HERE.

But Toga trying to kill Ochako, mentioned how she used her quirk to kill and then is surprised that Ochako is grossed out by her....IS NOT TRACING A ANTAGONIST RELATIONSHIP

That is Hori being stupid.

See the full post

45 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

#4

I make this post in the hopes some people watch, read and stay mad. It's 2022 and if you still write any Izu shipping fic- regardless with who- where bk is important for Zuzu or the shipping.

You are shipping wrong! And I say this 100% right and certain of this.

Not saying WHO yoi should ship, but when you ship someone- any ship of any fandom- the general consensus is for 2 characters to be together and happy.

And I know some may say "I ship two villains. They do fucked up shit" ok. Then they are fucked up but in love.

And now you wonder "what's matter? If we ship character A abusing gaslight character B, its not as if we are condoning such acts"

TRUE! I can't stress this enough. Liking dark content is not a sin or illegal, but it's sus how the MHA fandom takes Izuku Midoriya and puts him in awful and abusive situations in the name of "love"

A certian server in the discord seems to make Izu the eternal victim, the one who needs to sacrifice everything to be with his lover...who wont sacrifice anything.

And think back how the number of abusive relationships show in the media are awful...See, any "romance" mainstreaming.

And I mention this bc...why is so hard to make healthy relationships?

I ship shigadeku...and the ship can be healthy even if Zuzu falls to the dark side.

You can ship Izuocha and not make Ochako laugh when BK mistreat Izu.

You can ship Izux anyone. And not make him "cant function without my love interest"

You can make healthy and interesting. Also, the whole myth "fucked up relationships are more interesting to read" is not true.

I wouldn't read any Joker X Harley comic...

But I would love to read a Poison Ivy x Harly comic.

52 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

#3

You know, thanks to a discussion with @professionalranter31 I realize something....Shiggy may be the only person, in canon, who really react positively (more or less) to Izu being quirkless.

Like Inko criies her heart out and apologise to him (never will like that nor the scene)

AM dont talk about his past. Yes, he said Izu cant be a hero but it wasnt bc of he is evil...it was to soare him (but I do think he was wrong as not every hero faces a villain like AFO. Also, if AFO didn't exist or was dead would AM agree Izu can be a hero?)

And....

BK, please. You guys know what he thinks. His "iconic" line of suicide baiting tells you everything.

Just it.

Shiggy?

"Ah he is quirkless? Ok whatever" and he is the villain. He couls have said smth equally or worse than what BK said. Could have said smth qorse to Izu's face "quirkless good is a dead one" and yet... he never says this.

The villain is more chill about it than....everyone else.

And the love interest, Ochako, knows shit about Izu...Like wow.

65 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

#2

I never did a rant about a ship before bc I always thought someone else could do a better job defending it but, considering how this fandom is...maybe I should give my 2 cents for shigadeku

Note: please. I’m note here to cause any ship war. You ship what you want. If you dont like shigadeku then that’s fine.

That’s out of the way, lets talk about this ship. Now, Hori is a bad writer but even in his bad canon...shigadeku does have interesting and “strong” foundations.

I put “” here bc any ship headed by Hori will be bad written. I know this.

Both are different sides of the same coin. Both are outcasts, both have quirks that caused them pain.

And both are alone.

Now, what we know about shiggy is that he is being manipulated by AFO since a young age.

* I want to mention here how...in the hands of a better writer, the name deku could mean smth omen and AFO could call shiggy deku either in front of him or to his back to add more paralels and development for the 2 like, Izu stood up and says/make bk stop calling him deku is great but imagine him defending shiggy?*

oK think with me. In any sci fi/fantasy movie when a character is being mind controlled or groomed...what would stop him to finished the task is seeing the hero/loved one bc would be the begin for the character to.set free.

“I was supposed to kill this person but I dont want ....for now” and develop from there.

Now, when we meet Shiggy is into the hate AFO spill. He has 0 reasons for wanting AM dead.

“Ahhh but AM represent how this society is bad”

Great answer and idea for a fic. But in canon he never gives a real answer. “I hate AM” is his get go....no further explanation.

But how funny he saw Zuzu and staet wanting to talk to him. No one put this idea in his head.

No AFO.

No Kotaro.

Its all Shiggy.

He, still under AFO’s bullshite, went to see Zuzu. And yes we get the mall scene but what many fans oddly refuse to admit is how...he went to Zuzu on his own free will.

THAT IS HUGE. Especially considering SHIGGY IS GROOMED (that is not fanfic that is canon and I do hate hori’a canon)

He has a photo of Izu...who by the time was just a student.

Like this has a HUGE potential. And I dont get why people refuse to reconize that?

If this stoey was headed by a competent writer shigadeku would be a more prevalent relationship.

They arent mortal enemies...they are two hurt boys stuck in this stupid war and decide to stop the feud.

God this line above is more romantic.

For those wondering...I did watch boku already liking IzuOcha but...Hori sideline Ochako and her feelings so much.

“Ah and the cute moments? Izuocha will be canon, not shigadeku”

I Know. And I have no problems with this ship- if we compare with naruto’s canon ship- but it doesnt change how underveloped it is. Also, Izu could have cute moments with Mina too and no one will say they are endgame.

Not sure if my point is clear. All I’m saying is that Shigadeku has such romantic potential and you dont need to turn Izu into “soft cinnamon roll” or change Shiggy into “playboy” to make it work.

“Ah gross. Shiggy is older than Zuzu”

3 or 4 years isnt a big deal. I mean, Shiggy was a 17 years old when the story begins and that didnt stop anyone to ship shiggy witb dabi or eraserhead who are older than him.

See the full post

78 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You know, I think we all own an apology to Kishomoto. Why? His ending wasn't bad written...it fits perfectly with the narrative presented.

Naruto was never about the underdog nor a chosen one who will break the cycle of abuse

No.

Naruto was a story about a fascist and imperalist goverment who will gladly and gleefully stomp overr your body unless you have some utility for them.

The will of fire is not a cutesy thing. It's a propaganda...and it was never challanged.

Sending kids to war.

Breaking yourself for your nation.

Naruto, the mc, never wanted to change anything...he wants the prestige. He wants to be hokage so he can get attention.

Sakura and Naruto both are toxic in regards Sasuke. The victim of genocide - who is paint as a bad person for not wanting to go back to konoha- is in the wrong and needs to be taught a lesson.

Sasuke is not allowed to disagree with a goverment who said ok to genocide of his clan.

Sakura is so yandere for Sasuke...and that checks. You can say is sexism but not is out of character. She dump her friend- mind you in this case Sakura was 10 years old- bc she feared her friend could get the attention of Sasuke.

Naruto was never one to change anything bc all he wanted was to be at the top. Not change anything.

Naruto wasn't a tale of hope. But of dispair.

148 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[maljic]

i have been working in the grocery industry practically my entire life. for many companies, and in many many positions. i’ve seen hurricane panic buys, i have seen post hurricane apocalypses, i have closed stores, and i have opened stores. i have been to backroom recoveries, i have worked small stores and big stores. i have seen h1n1, and i have now seen covid19. and even tho this is something unprecedented, all together it’s really not. the difference here is that it’s been going on for three weeks now and there is no end in sight. the duration is what’s so new. 

so i’ve started making notes every day after i got home. just the overall experience, but also customer comments and new things being implemented. it’s a fascination change, and i wanted to write it down to maybe sometime in the future come back to this time and remember anew. 

i plan on keeping notes for the foreseeable future, to keep writing a diary of sorts, to see if this ever levels out or escalates even more, if things change drastically or not at all. and if the fucking toilet paper situation ever goes away. 

things started to change the first week of march. it was super subtle, i didn’t even notice it at first. it was just a steady increase in business. a solid 20% ahead in sales all across the board. and even tho the virus was already in the news it didn’t cotton on right from the start. or it did, maybe, but i wasn’t expecting it to escalate to such heights.

tuesday, 03.10.2020 9am - 5pm

people are making their own hand sanitizer by mixing rubbing alcohol and aloe vera. we’re out of both. lady is asking me by the sun tan section about the state of deliveries of aloe vera gel. we get to talking. i admit that i don’t understand the people’s need for hand sanitizer since the cdc and every doctor ever recommends hand washing first and foremost. Susan comes out and says, ‘well the only thing that really can safe us from all this is...” and i retort with, “washing your hands, right?” but Susan claps back with, “the lord jesus christ.” and i had to excuse myself real quick and leave her ass on the aisle, because why are you fucking here then trying to potion together your own hand sanitizer, Severus, if all you need is god? 

a grown woman that’s working at the register is. coughing. non. stop. co workers comment on it to each other and to me, and i wonder if anyone has taken her aside to explain the current state of world events to her, and maybe asking her to cover her damn mouth. we’re all gonna die.

thursday, 03.12.2020 2pm - 10pm 11pm

parking is an absolute nightmare. i’m 10 mins late cause i can’t find a spot. welcome to hell. i ask my boss what the sales were yesterday and she says we’re 40% ahead of the forecast. which is ridiculous. at this point it’s pretty much a blanket permission for over time. we do not have the capacity to continue to run at this pace. people get worn out, we’re bound to get sick, and the customers are fucking relentless. truck is big. Karen and her brother Chad look at the soap section and wanna know when we get more hand sanitizer in. 

this lady is looking at things in the cold and flu section and we get to talking about shit and she mentions something she’s read on facebook and whoops my filter went poofgone and i tell her that i hope facebook dies along with all this corona virus flu and have a good evening.

at the end of my shift after we’ve finished stocking and cleaning up, i stay longer because there’s still a fuck ton of people in the store but we only have two registers open. i check people out until 11 and then peace out. one dude dropped $650 on groceries.

friday, 03.13.2020 11am - 7pm

“where is the hand sanitizer?” Karen asks. i refrain from shouting at her to get outta my face. the store is absolutely packed. lines of lengths i haven’t ever witnessed. lines and lines of people with full bascarts of stuff. the end is nigh and we are here with a front row view of it. we have a small parking lot, and i have no idea where these people’s cars are? i didnt know we could fit that many people in the store. whats the fire marshall’s max capacity guidelines? someone should review those. meanwhile i’m trying to navigate around everybody and put things on shelves that don’t last very long.

the grocery truck arrives around 3 ish and paper products get thrown out first. usually, when the truck arrives it stays locked until the night crew shows up. we’re set up to always have a trailer at the store, so when the guy shows up he unhitches his trailer, and hitches up under another trailer which was the previous day’s grocery truck, which got emptied off groceries when the night crew stocks, and then got filled with stacks of empty pallets, paper bales, and other reusable thinks like plastic trays the meat comes in, or the eggs come in, or produce plastic trays, things like that. so now that we’re in the apocalypse of paper products, the day crew gets those pallets out on the sales floor asap. at this point we have reduced the quantities of things you’re allowed to take to 3. 3 packs of toilet paper, 3 packs of paper towels... also 3 of lysol wipes and 3 of hand sanitizers even tho we dont have any, calm down, Karen. paper products are gone within an hour. 

my company makes an absolute killing that day.

saturday, 03.14.2020 10ish to whenever. 

my boss said she was coming in (on her off day) so i said yo, mind if i sleep in a bit? i was scheduled 7am and if i don’t have to i don’t want to. she said ok. i rock up at 10:08. things stop showing up on deliveries. the diaper area is sad looking. people have started to buy us out of baby wipes. there’s a problem coming at us in about 2 months. you cant flush baby wipes but since the toilet paper situation is what it is, people will wipe their butts with wet wipes. have fun with that, dallas county utility department (or whoever messes with the water wastes). 

displays are dwindling. we are not getting product, so we are filling the shelves in the aisles with the stuff that’s on displays. it’s a bit wonky looking. there’s half an endcap with shampoo and then the rest of it is filled with hersheys. its upside down world. but we have to keep things full. with whatever. empty shelves are bad bad bad, but empty endcaps are a cardinal sin. 

people waste so much food when they’re shopping. now that the shelves are getting and staying empty, people will just put things everywhere when they decide against buying the items. bags of chips, six packs of beer, gatorade whatever. that’s not really waste. but we also see bags of salad, frozen items, meats. we are currently not in the position to walk the store every half hour and collect these things. these things are all now wasted and will get thrown out. not the chips, i’m talking about the temp controlled things. being cold to the touch is not enough. shit aint safe. 

monday, 03.16.2020 8am - 4 pm 6pm

truck is gigantic. never ever have i seen a truck that big. so everything that my boss was fantasizing about me doing gets thrown out the window when the truck hits the backdoor at 11 am. everybody who is scheduled for truck is given the option to come in early. and stay until it’s all stocked. or until you’re exhausted. i help with the pharmacy stuff because that’s the biggest part. i stay until 6pm. then i’m out. 

people would like to know where the hand sanitizer is, well, sugar, so. do. i. it’s the one item that has been out since the end of february, and people are absolutely gob smacked when you tell them it’s currently unavailable. i try to appease them with some hand soap, but, stupidly, people dont want to hear that. i’m thinking to myself that in about a week soap will also be unavailable, but to each their own. customers believe that we, the workers, know the exact day and time when lysol wipes will be stocked. but when you tell them that soap is getting scarce they look at you like you’re speaking a different language.

company wide, we are not allowed to order anything right now. which is huge. how it usually works is: our system knows at all times how many items we have in the store, as per bar code, and knows how much will fit on the shelves, how much we’re selling every day/hour, and then there’s the forecasting factor. so the system will order stuff based on sold quantities, automatically. all the time. if we need extra stuff for sales and/or displays and whatnot, we order extra. 

the computer system wouldnt know, for instance, that there was a tornado in oct that wiped out our electricity and that of most of our customers, so we changed orders to reflect that. no frozen things, lots more batteries, ice, coolers. 

a lot of things ride on added orders, which are now out

from here on in, everything is up to the system, and to the powers that be. if there’s soap in the warehouse, we will get allocated with every store in the area so that everyone gets equal amounts or close to. hoarding is, apparently, frowned upon at this level too. 

tuesday, 03.17.2020 2pm - 10pm

i have come to hate the soap aisle. used to always be my favorite. so long, soap aisle, we’ve had a good run. tonight i’m stocking the pharmacy area (cold and flu, pain meds, tummy stuff, those sort of things). truck is small. super small. i try helping customers as much as i can, but most of my end of the conversation is no, sorry, we dont have any. backstocks are dwindling. the backroom is emptying out. we rely on truck deliveries for things to do and products to be put out. “do you have any [insert product here] in the back?” is the most asked questions. “there’s nothing in the back.” is the most uttered sentence all day. 

people obviously do to not get what social distance means. every aisle is packed with shoppers. i’m wasting a lot of time trying to stay out of people’s paths, but people lingeeeerrrrr what the fuck. the mayor of dallas shut everything down to flatten the curve yet here all these fuckers are doing their god damn grocery shopping like it’s 3 months ago. get in, get stuff, get out. i try conjuring up some gas to clear the aisle, but the farts won’t come

go home, people. i wish i could.

somehow our store has become the hub in our area. we get trucks in the afternoon with produce and meat, and people from other stores around us show up in trucks and suvs to transport product between stores. i’ve seen so many people that i hadn’t seen in years because they’re coming by getting shit in the afternoon. 

we lost one of our baristas. she’s retired but works with us the maximal allotted hours per week the government allows you before they yank your money. she’s living in senior housing (cause its cheap) and they’ve completely locked down and she is unable to come to work. her boss funnels her groceries. and they face time a lot. she’s doing ok.

wednesday, 03.18.2020 10am - 6pm

parking lot semi full, too full for a wednesday. toilet paper situation is unchanged. but alas there’s no grocery truck scheduled tonight so this is not changing until tomorrow. i’m talking to three separate people desperate for some toilet roll (lol, i love how this pandemic makes me learn new terms, hi, united kingdom, i see you - toilet roll, i love it). anyways, i explain to all three the truck schedule and how to best strategize to get some butt wipes: truck is 6 days a week, wednesday being the no truck day. when the truck arrives, usually what happens is that the paper products get stocked immediately, to make room in the back room and to alleviate the situations. be in the store at around 3ish? 3:30ish, and hang out. i explain that i don’t want to encourage anybody to spend their afternoon in the store for obvi reasons, but when you gotta go you gotta go. alternately, hang out in your car, and when you see a truck pull behind the store around mid day, chances are in about 30 mins you shall have paper. people appreciate the info. 

i’m in the candy aisle trying to stock a case of twizzlers. we’re using shopping carts to stock, it’s way more flexible than lugging around huge stocking carts, especially now with the store being so crowded. this dude rocks up and asks me if i’m panic hoarding with all those boxes in my cart. he looks at me with a straight face and thinks he’s making a point. meanwhile i’m in full uniform and people around are starting to roll their eyes. i drop the box of twizzlers into my cart (its super heavy and dude is creating a scene). my box cutter comes out and i make a show of clicking the blade out while explaining to douche canoodle that i’m working here, excuse me, and cut into the tape of the box. moron. 

there’s a few people that i’ve seen every day this week. and they’re all advanced in their age. i get that the store is your second home cause you’re lonely, but right now is really not the time. go home. 

the question i hate the most is: when are you gonna get more soap in. the honest answer? no fucking clue, Karen. if i could predict the future i wouldn’t be working here. 

thursday, 03.19.2020 10am - 6pm

there was no grocery truck last night so shelves are still as empty as they were when i left last night. still, parking lot is semi full. we’ve seem to have gotten a decent produce truck, bananas everywhere. great. my boss’s plan for me is to: whatever truck is back there, and then easter. which means i walk the back room, collect anything and everything that belongs to our department, and get it on the shelves. there’s nothing back there except a chocolate delivery which arrived on the dairy truck. a huge amount, by normal standards. at least people are still enjoying some candy. 

by 3pm it’s made the rounds that one of the guys for our dept isn’t coming in: allergies. okay then. truck is not too big, i help out with that until it’s time to hit the time clock. 

times are tough, and i’m a good-natured person that can dish out jokes and emphasize with you and cumbaja we’re all in this together and all the other bullshit we’re telling ourselves to make us feel better. but when dudebro comes down the soap aisle and bemoans the state of the shelves (empty) and then goes into a rant about his two parents, immunocompromised, at home, out of soap, almost getting loud and making it seem like its my fault that we don’t have what you want, then no. i’m all out of fucks to give. meanwhile, people of the free world, have you forgotten that hand washing soap does not only come in little pump bottles that you can cutsify your sink with but also LOOK AT ALL THE BARSOAP, back in the days we used that to wash our hands. calm down and take some irish spring to your parents. 

grocery truck arrives. big time. in the good ole days of yester year we would get one trailer daily, most of the time not even full. we’ve been ramping it up to 2 most of the last two weeks. (and by we i mean we as a society, buying everything on the shelves and not being satisfied and always wanting more).  today it was three. one of which with nothing but water. the others with lots of toilet roll and paper towels. and the usual stuff of canned goods and the likes. nothing will last tho, nothing is forever. 

we have this one guy who works here who has, i believe, severe arthritis and is hygiene wise very challenged. he isn’t very mobile and does super light duty but he’s worked here a long time. i haven’t seen him in a few days. i wonder if he is just off, or if he said fuck it and stayed home. 

the grown ass woman at the register is still coughing. and not covering her mouth. asswipe. 

saturday 03.21.2020 7am - 3pm 6pm

“when do you expect more hand sanitizer in?” 

i have no idea what you’re talking about, hand sanitizer was never a thing. lemme ask you this: is it berenstein bears where you come from? 

people still want to shop brand loyal. i die inside a little bit every time someone turns their nose up at an alternative to their regular, “oh but we don’t use that brand.” dude didn’t you just say you needed vitamin c? was that a lie? here’s the damn vitamin c. it’s vitamin c, not, i don’t know, fucking coca cola. go home.

corporate finally came down and said we’re allowed to wear ppe now. like some of us haven’t since three weeks ago. i finally turned and went all ‘two by two hands of blue’ as well, and it’s really not as bothersome as i thought it would be.  

weekends are now slower than weekdays. i have no idea why that is. and i’m not really sure if these past weekends have been slow, or just normal, and the weekdays are just crazy. i have lost all points of reference. it’s still busy. but is it the same busy it’s always been on a saturday and now we just have more checkers? 

the company is desperately trying to hire more people. i don’t know if the new vigorous ad campaign is working yet? it’s a job, sure, especially in these times, but the starting pay is still barely above minimum wage so in any case people will collect unemployment which could still be more than they’d make working here i’m just saying. 

the only real perk right now is that whoever works for a grocery store has first dibs on stuff. and if you believe we don’t have a “family and friends stash” in the back of all the items that are scarce then you don’t know how the world works. a friend of mine with health problems came to shop at our store today because we do have more stuff than what i’ve been hearing is going on in surrounding areas.  and i was able to give her two cans of disinfectant wipes. another friend asked me if we had any loo roll, and they just came by my place to pick it up, cash on arrival. 

we also extend (or well, i do extend) the stash to customers who always have been courteous. and believe me, after working in one location for a few years you know exactly who’s an asshole and who isn’t. we are essential, we are important, and we’ve been known that forever. we just never got treated like that. people are thankful that we’re working, that we’re doing our best (like if we could afford to just take two weeks off to self isolate, yeah right), and it’s good to finally walk the store with your head held high, to finally feel the appreciation. we are the kings of the toilet paper and it’s fucking fantastic. 

the store manager (or the company, i’m not sure) bought lunch today for everybody. and there might be a texas rule of no gatherings of more than 10 people, but y’all should’ve seen the break room today at noon. we they feasted (i took two slices and went out back to enjoy) thanks for lunch, boss. 

we still haven’t implemented “senior hours,” and i hate that. 

hygiene challenged dude is back at work. so he just had his two days off. 

monday 03.23.2020 12pm - 9pm

people keep insisting on shopping “normally” and it’s mind boggling. if you go to the store for 5 things or 50 things, it’s fine either way. but please make a list at home and roll with it. do not linger in aisles, do not pick up 3 different items and stand there to study the, i don’t know what the fuck, ingredients? country of origin? manufacturer? i have no earthly idea why you gotta look at a bottle of suave shampoo so intently and just. stay. there. reading it like its a new product on the market. go home.

people just waste so much freakin time in the store. they run into acquaintances and have to have a conversation right there when other customers have to walk around you. please stop, please please stop that. please. get in, get your stuff, and get out. if we dont have your fave available right now come back next week, it’s bound to be back unless it’s something like hand sanitizer or over the counter meds. please. go home.

the shopping pattern has changed. there’s all the action in the mornings now. tons of people, full parking lots, all in the morning. i understand it’s because people are under the impression everything gets restocked over night. which is half true. but whatever. i mean people shop all throughout the day and it’s still busy but the bulk is in the morning.

speaking of: senior hours finally!!! i’m stoked.

i feel like i’m getting fed up with customer questions so it’s usually short retorts and no eyes contact. one guy asked me where the aloe vera is and he asked very friendly and from a few feet away and i was sort of a dick to him. i felt bad immediately and rephrased my answer. yikes.

on the upside also, my work buddy was throwing water all day long. poor guy. he said something like 9 pallets of 24 packs. at one point they were replenishing a display and people grabbed water from the display instead of the pallet, and he was like, “you guys are killing me, man, please take it from the pallet and not the display. every pack you take from the pallet is a pack less i have to move.” a couple of dudes then took over stocking duty from him and threw the rest of the pallet to fill the display. how fucking nice. good eggs all around.

backroom looks like we got a crap ton of paper products. a crap ton. something like, i’m estimating, 12 pallets. so they’ve been staggering it throughout the afternoon but also kept lots in the back for senior hours tomorrow morning. it really looks like that part is getting almost back to normal. lmao fingers crossed.

no eggs tho, today. all gone.

hot shot trucks still show up in the afternoon with produce and meat. and other stores still come by to transfer stuff to their location.

company lunch today was from torchy’s taco. i abstained cause i had just eaten at home. but gatherings of 10 or more people had been had in the break room again. no idea if it was paid for by our company or if torchy’s was just getting rid of a bulk of their perishables.

some dude threw a fit about the limits on certain items. i think his beef was with water and how he’s seen someone take more than three. calm down, asshole.

tuesday 03.24.2020 10am - 5pm 

it’s slow in the store. dallas county has a shelter in place ordinance right now and it’s just a slow and steady trickle of customers. the weather also has turned from grey and misty, to sunshine and 80ies. i hate it. i want my grey and misty back. and because it’s nice outside there’s a lot of people on walks and bike rides. there’s a trail behind the store and when i step out back i see people all the times. still keeping their social distance but people non the less.

we’ve finally got our hands on one of the people from the agency that has provided us with help. our girl is super nice and friendly and she works hard. i hope we’ll get to keep her in our department for however long theyre working with us. altogether there’s about 15-20 people in the store from the agency. they’re tasked with sacking groceries, cleaning shopping carts, cleaning shelves and helping to stock. it’s wonderful. they get paid $13, which is more than what you make starting out in the store.

it almost felt like it wasn’t a covid day. after what the covidiot in the wh said on monday, i was a bit unsure if non essentials would reopen (especially since the mayor just shut dallas down). it was weird. it seemed like customers stayed away because a) they went back to work or b) it’s too nice to grocery shop. but that’s prob only my stupid brain making things up.

there were two incidents, both of which weren’t covid related but needed security: a dude tried to walk out with two cases of beer (theft is a thing that happens in our store a lot) but somehow he had half the store chasing after him. i was outside taking my break when all the sudden this guy comes towards me with beer in each hand. where i was, there was no exit away from the store unless you wanted to jump the fence. and he sure did. launched himself and the beer over it. they chased him off (no one touched him, i wanna add, and no one would touch him too, even if we weren’t in the current time),  but got their beer back. that was an adrenaline shock i didn’t need. the second one was a lady at the pharmacy not happy with the speed of the pharmacist and she got upset that her meds weren’t ready to be picked up. she made quite a scene with cursings and such so security was called. they are doing their best at the pharmacy but just like every other department they are swamped with prescriptions.  

it was super slow and i left an hour early. went home and ate and passed out for 12 hours.

wednesday 03.25.2020 7am - 3pm

it’s probs the first time i’m on the road this early on a weekday during the self isolation period. it’s quite busy on the highway. but still no real traffic.

store is still slow but steady. i see a few customers with big bascarts and shopping lists going about their business urgent like. on the inside i was applauding their readiness and their commitment for getting it done. thank you dear customers. buy a whole cart and get the heck outta dodge. *chefs kiss*

help girl from the agency is with me today. i like her more and more. she gets it all done. baby wipes are still off and on, some days we have them, sometimes we’re out. we found 3 small cases of hand soap in the back (6 bottles each) and they are gone quickly. i’m working through shippers/displays (we’ve finally got a smattering in) but most of it goes straight to the shelves. i’m able to make some sense to one of the half shampoo/half hersheys end caps, and my eye finally stops twitching from the weirdness.

grocery truck schedule has changed and now we’re getting them also on wednesdays (for the time being). one trailer of toilet roll and paper towels, and one of canned goods and boxes and pantry stuffs. and maybe some lysol but who knows.

it’s still sunny and 80ies out, so more runners and bikers on the trail behind the store. still social distancing tho.

the news said someone from a grocery store of another chain was diagnosed. and then through the grapevine i heard that someone from our chain (not our store) also got diagnosed and is in the hospital. wash your hands. get in, get your stuff, and get out. stay safe out there.

friday 03.27.2020 9am - 5pm

there’s this lady in the store, little old lady, just wandering and shopping and whatnot for, i kid you not, 2 hours. what in the world? she’s wearing a mask, kinda like a “let me put this mask on cause i’m sanding something in the garage” you know that kind of mask. but it���s only covering her mouth? what is she doing. where is your family? do they know where you are and what you’re up to. seriously someone come get their auntie.

there’s stickers all over the floor by the registers “PLEASE WAIT HERE” reminding people to stay the heck away from each other. it’s working sometimes. people are patient.

this one lady asks me if we have this, and shows me her phone with a pic of the item like she is seriously standing 6 feet away stretching her arm as far as it’ll go. i appreciate it. she insists that the app tells her it’s in stock here. i ran out of ways to explain that the app doesnt keep up with inventory, only states that we carry it, not whether we actually have it in stock. it’s a surface disinfectant. we dont have it in stock.

rando people say their thanks that we’re working, that they appreciate it, thank you thank you. i have yet to learn how to respond to that. “youre welcome?” “oh sure!” “no problem” nothing feels right. me and my co workers all wish we could work from home, or take a few weeks off, without losing our jobs and benefits. it’s weird. how do you respond to that?

we’ve managed to stay in stock on toilet tissue all day long. one brand, one size, mind you. but! all day long! yes, toilet paper, on aisle 18!!!!

sales have leveled. business is returning to normal.

saturday 03.28.2020 7am - 3 pm

some lady lost her cool today and in her frustration she dead ass kicked over a display of gum. lmao, yikes.

every morning we have a little meeting in the store for all the department heads, or if they’re off, for whoever plays department head for that day. on saturdays that’s me. we call them huddles, although now we can’t call them that anymore because huddle doesn’t really scream social distancing. so now they’ll call it morning communication.

while walking the store today i found, get this, a bottle of purell. it was hidden behind other product. i immediately checked my surroundings (no one there) and then went and hid it in the back room. my immuno challenged friend had asked me for some for a while.

really nothing else going on. it was quiet in the morning and then a storm blew through, and then it was just gorgeous out. so the store got busier and busier. our truck was scheduled to be quite big, but it was late and i wasn’t gonna just hang around until who knows when.

monday 03.30.2020 2pm - 10pm

the break room is completely empty of chairs and tables. that’s new. just last week everyone crowded in, employees and management alike, whenever there was free lunch. and even tho one tells them, or points out that, hey, this is a bit more than technically should be in a closed space like this? all one gets back is, oh hahaha, yeah you’re probably right, but nothing changed. so now the break room is empty. only, i dont know, everyone here works on their feet, either standing (poor checkers) or standing and walking. for up to eight hours. there’s gonna be some people who will just have to sit down for 30 mins during their breaks. this was a company wide, or district wide decision, this wasn’t something our management came up with. and here’s the thing. admittedly, some higher ups in our company are seriously not the sharpest tacks in the box. and i’m not saying that you have to have a degree to make certain decisions, but it helps if you have some sort of,  i don’t know, compassion, deductive reasoning, two brain cells to rub together. i, personally, will hardly be found in the break room, i don’t use it. but it’s absolutely clear to me that taking away the opportunity to let people rest is a recipe for disaster.

tuesday, 03.31.2020 2pm - 10pm

so, the owner of the dallas mavericks (basket ball) donated hand sanitizers to our company, for use of company employees. which, thanks, Mark, that was super sweet of you. no really. IF I SEE ONE CO WORKER USE THIS INSTEAD OF WASHING THEIR HANDS I WILL NOT BE MADE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS. wash your god damned hands people. hand sanitizer will never be able to do what soap and water can do. why is that such a big problem to understand.

the break room has a couple of chairs and tables in it now, and a sign on the door that reads “6 people limit, 6 feet apart.” yikes.

its the end of the month and people got paid so the store is getting busier. tomorrow is the first and i’m sure we’ll be packed. please take the following to heart: SHOP ALONE. don’t bring your wifey or hubby or roommate or kids. ok bring your kids if you have no one to watch them. do not use the grocery store as your family outing cause its the only spot you think youre allowed to go. it’s not. youre allowed to go for walks, in front of your house, in your neighborhood, heck, walk a circle around the store if you want, but don’t bring everybody into the store. social distancing is easier achieved if there’s less people to stay away from. be smart, think ahead. and if you think that shopping with two people makes it go faster? it’s not. cause you’re gonna argue over the choices made, you’re gonna veto your shopping buddies choice of beans and your gonna walk every aisle twice instead of once. and there will be more people touching more things and i could really do with less of that.

wednesday 04.01.2020 11am - 7pm

there’s a distillery in kansas who has converted their production to make hand sanitizer (or sanitizer in general) and we have received a shipment of, i think, two pallets. the fun part? they are the size and shape of vodka bottles.

they’re selling for $8 and we put a limit of 1 per family. they look super neat. it’s a plastic bottle, too. i don’t use hand sanitizer and i dont need it and there are people who need these i guess but i want one so badly. just as a, you know, reminder, a token, of these crazy times. i’m not gonna get one (but i kinda want one).

they have finally installed screens at the registers. and new rules came down from corporate: social distancing is the highest priority, hygiene is the highest priority. we are only going to operate 3 (out of 6) registers so that we can ensure that there’s enough space for everyone to feel safe. i have also spent 2 hours today thinning out displays that are cluttering up the sales floor so that we can encourage everyone to keep apart.

starting tomorrow, every employee will get their temp taken when they arrive to work. if the temp is too high you will be sent home (but paid for that day) and only be let back in to work if your temp stays normal for 72 hours without the help of meds.

pay has been increased by $2/h.

friday 04.03.2020 9am - 5pm

face masks everywhere.

like 80% of everybody started donning masks, scarves and homemade things to cover their lower face. face masks are a stark reminder that everyone should keep apart. it’s like an extra “hey, remember how we’re all potentially sick with something deadly? stay away.” i appreciate the effect it has.

there are about 5 different announcements over the PA, one about washing your hands and sneezing/coughing into your elbows, one about senior hours (which have changed now to tue, thu and sat morning), one about social distancing (about the length of two shopping carts!), one about “we’re all in this together” and one about us employees and how we’re doing so much more than our job right now.

ive stopped greeting customers. i smile maybe, since it’s something so ingrained into our brain, but i won’t speak unnecessarily.

the store is absolutely packed. the suggestion of staying away until the 3rd or the 4th that ive seen all over the internets seems to have cottoned on and now we’re slammed. with only 3 registers open now (to keep room between registers) the lines are down the aisles. one of the guys on the registers told me he loved it. it’s waaay less crowding around the registers, safer for the workers).

we have two entrances (the main one and a smaller one) and they closed the smaller one because it’s very tight there and doesn’t really work with trying to stay away from each other. it’s not locked, it’s just closed. no idea about the fire marshall code, but i have worked in bigger stores with only one main entrance so maybe it’s not part of any code.

i saw a woman with a vegas golden knights shirt and i miss hockey.

saturday 04.04.2020 7am - 5:30pm

my first day during senior hours, and admittedly we’ve only recently changed that but there are tons of people in the store and not a lot of seniors. but what do i know they all could be immunocompromised.

in our morning huddle communications meeting the store manager is spitting out a lot of numbers and percentiles and such, basically sales are still through the roof, even with the slower week we’ve had. it’s funny how there’s really no reference point anymore. forecasts and budgets have all been altered due to the situation but even those are still behind. the agency people aren’t with us anymore (since sunday) and i can see maybe 2 new people - but i’m not a reliable source for that because i don’t inter-mingle with other departments that much so i dont even know the regulars so i have no clue who is new. but we’re still running on basically the same people we’ve always had with this increased business.

aceotone is the new toilet paper. cant find it on the shelves, the warehouse is out and people are constantly asking for it. this one guy had me in stitches. he was shopping for the fam and had a list from his wife and you know, acetone, cuticle cream all the stuff you need to take care of your nails after you rip off the fake ones. i used to get my nails done so i gave him advice as best i could  and pointed to some products, but no acetone. about five minutes later she finds me on the same aisle again and shows me a can of paint stripper with the word acetone in huge letters on it. i died. i told him that if his wife used that they are about to have a whole other set of problems. we both laughed. he had a great sense of humor. now go home, dude.

the side door that was closed on friday is open again. not surprised.

we are getting absolutely slammed with business. it’s a mad house. you can always tell when people start to park their cars on the fire lanes around the store. there’s just no more parking.

i do see a lot of single shoppers tho, which is so great. and then you got the families just sticking out like sore thumbs. and young college kids usually shop in threes or fours. but everybody is still taking way too much time. there was an article i read on local grocers and how some already reduced the people inside the stores and how every business is going to follow suit so we will see.

we ran out of eggs. and biscuits.  and no significant numbers of paper products all week.

monday 04.06.2020 2pm - 10pm

fuck these customers, man

wednesday 04.08.2020 7am - 3pm

my company will not limit the customer count in the store. at least not in this state. when the whole thing started there was an email about store hours and they listed basically every division of our company and their changed hours - except, you guessed it, ours. i have a feeling they are going off of what other companies are doing around here, so unless theyre limiting people, we won’t. that’s my opinion. after work i realized i forgot butter and swung by a store (from a different company) close to home and they havent limited entrance either. they did have markings on the floor to encourage one way traffic down aisles, and i guess we’re gonna do that too. but nothing else. i did see smaller chains have started to limit people but not companies we’re competing with. so much for that. i guess first we need to have a few positive cases in order for them to change anything. the dollar speaks volumes, eh?

i saw this article a few days ago and i keep thinking about it. it basically sums up everything that’s going through all our minds every day. (i have no idea who this website is, i saw it and i read it and it spoke to me so dont come at me if it’s something weird - i just wanted to provide a source)

I manage a grocery store.

Here’s some things everyone should know

1. I don’t have toilet paper 2. I don’t have sanitizer 3. I run out of milk, eggs and meat daily 4. I promise if it’s out on the shelf … it’s not in a hidden corner of our backroom.

Those are the predictable ones, now for the real stuff

5. I have been doing this for 25 years I did not forget how to order product. 6. I did not cause the warehouse to be out of product/ 7. I schedule as much help as I have, including many workers working TONS of overtime to help YOU. 8. I am sorry there are lines at the check out lanes.

Now for the really important stuff:

9. My team puts themselves in harm’s way every day so you can buy groceries. 10. My team works tirelessly to get product on the floor for you to buy. 11. My team is exhausted. 12. My team is scared of getting sick. 13. My team is human and does not possess an antivirus… they are in just as much danger as you are. (Arguably more) but they show up to work every day just so you can buy groceries 14. My team is tired. 15. My team is very under-appreciated. 16. My team is exposed to more people who are potentially infected in one hour than most of you will in a week (medical community excluded, thank you for all that you do!). 17. My team is abused all day by customers who have no idea how ignorant they are. 18. My team disinfects every surface possible, everyday, just so you can come in grab a wipe from the dispenser, wipe the handle and throw the used wipe in the cart or on the ground and leave it there… so my team can throw it in the trash for you later. 19. My team wonders if you wash your re-usable bags, that you force us to touch, that are clearly dirty and have more germs on them than our shopping carts do. 20. My team more than earns their breaks, lunches and days off. And if that means you wait longer I am sorry.

The last thing I will say is this:

The next time you are in a grocery store, please pause and think about what you are saying and how you are treating the people you encounter. They are the reason you are able to buy toilet paper, sanitizer, milk, eggs, and meat.

If the store you go to is out of an item.. maybe find the neighbor or friend that bought enough for a year … there are hundreds of them… and ask them to spare 1 or 2. They caused the problem to begin with…

And lastly, please THANK the people who helped you. They don’t have to come to work!

[autistic-shaiapouf]

I uh. think I might get the 2nd vaccine dose today

[dokjaism]

i've been thinking and the fact that so many ppl seem to think the pandemic is at its end stresses me so much bc like. the pandemic doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. not when there r ppl still being hospitalized, not when there r new variants appearing every few months, not when there are thousands of active cases. like idk who made u believe that it was ending but it is not

[hlfgdlsbn]

Me: *didn’t self harm for 8 months since I’m not working or am in school and I am working on my happiness and mental health*

Job world: “so theres a gap in your résumé”

Me: 🥲

[set-phasers-to-whump]

“don’t look”

prompt: “don’t look”

whumpee: kurt wallander

fandom: young wallander

hi i am going to be honest this may very well Suck...i am not feeling very good which is just Great and i didn’t spend a lot of time like, writing or editing so idk

Something creaks ominously above him. Kurt glances up, seeing only the various pieces of the top part of the building - pipes and tubes and other metal parts of the like, presumably part of the building’s heating and plumbing systems. Seeing nothing of importance, Kurt shrugs and continues on behind Rask, their footsteps echoing off the concrete floor. 

All of a sudden the creaking noise returns, and then there’s a sort of rumbling, shuddering sound, and Kurt again looks up in time to see a large metallic box - air conditioning unit, maybe? - which is about to fall directly on top of him. 

He dives out of the way, hitting the concrete hard, and covers the back of his neck with his hands until the noise of the thing crashing down subsides. 

Kurt moves to get up, blinking open his eyes in the dust, but finds he can’t. His left leg isn’t moving, and he feels something pressing into it. He tries again to move the leg, but feels a strange sensation in it, even as it moves a tiny bit. Something tells him to stop, so he does, then raises his head to get a look at whatever it is that’s stopping him from moving. 

“Don’t look,” Rask says from next to him, a warning tone in her voice, but of course the second she says it, he has to look. 

As soon as his eyes light on his leg, he feels a wave of dizziness and nausea roll through his body, followed quickly by a pain greater than anything he’s ever felt before. 

He can’t tear his eyes away from it all, in a sick kind of fascination. There’s a metal...box of some kind, what he presumes had produced the ominous creaking sound, sitting on his leg, which is absolutely screaming in pain. Even though quite a bit of the injury is hidden to him, courtesy of the metal box currently atop it, he can see enough of it, from when he’d tried to pull himself away. 

His leg is mangled, there’s no other word for it. If he concentrates hard enough he can see the bone sticking out through the skin, horribly white and pale and covered in blood. It looks almost alien, and it absolutely terrifies him to look at it. 

It also hurts more than anything he has ever experienced in his whole life, a crushing, breathtaking, and unbearably hot pain. 

He screams, unable to stop himself. It’s raw and unending, a mix of pure pain and terror at the sight of his leg looking not at all like it should, and hurting more than he thinks can even be possible. 

Dimly, Kurt registers hands touching him, voices above him saying something, but he’s disconnected from all of it. The only thing he can really feel is the pain. 

He passes out just as his voice breaks from the screaming. 

—

He wakes up once, lying down, voices all around him. He’s curiously numb and feels really weird, dizzy and lightheaded and completely disoriented. He passes out again as he’s trying desperately to think of where he is. 

—

The next time he wakes up, he stays awake, and he still feels kind of numb, but fairly normal, if tired, otherwise. 

He looks around himself, pointedly not focusing on the cast on his left leg, which evokes some kind of subconscious pain just from looking at it. The room he’s in is empty, save for him, and for Reza, who is standing by a window. 

“Hey,” Kurt says to him, voice scratchy. 

Reza comes over immediately, looking Kurt over with scrutinizing eyes. 

“Hey,” he echoes. “How you feeling?”

Kurt shrugs. “Okay,” he says. Nothing really hurts, except his throat, and he thinks overall he could be doing a lot worse. 

“Here,” Reza says, and he carefully hands Kurt a plastic cup of water from the table next to his bed. 

Kurt drinks the water, which feels nice on his aching throat. He wonders why it hurts, feels the hint of a memory, but decides not to dwell on that too long. It can’t be anything good. 

Someone knocks at the door then, and Reza gets up. Kurt watches, sees him make some kind of gesture through its window. 

“Close your eyes,” Reza instructs. “Don’t look.”

Kurt obliges, though he can’t help feeling a sense of unease at Reza’s words. His eyes slip closed, and he feels his body already trying to sleep again. 

“Open!” cries a young voice that is definitely not Reza. Kurt opens his eyes, thoughts of sleep forgotten, momentarily stunned by the scene around him. 

Reza’s still there, to his right, but now Jas is there, too, holding Reza’s hand, and Shaba’s standing between them, grinning at him. At the end of the bed stands Rask, and behind her a few other members of the Major Crimes division. To his left is Mona, a small smile on her face that is equal parts worried and fond. 

He finds himself physically incapable of speaking for a moment as he takes them all in. Shaba climbs into the bed next to him, throwing surprisingly gentle arms around his neck. 

“Shaba!” Jasmine scolds, but Kurt shakes his head.

“It’s all right, Jas.”

She looks at him worriedly for a second before stepping closer and putting a hand to his cheek. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she says. 

He feels his face heat up slightly at the thought that anyone had been worried about him, as Reza sets a hand on his shoulder. 

“We’re all glad you’re okay,” he adds, turning and kissing his wife on the cheek. 

Rask moves closer and pats him on his uninjured foot. “Don’t you fu-” she stops, eyes landing on Shaba, still sitting next to Kurt. “Don’t you do that again,” she warns, and Kurt feels like this is a bit unfair - it’s not like he asked to get crushed by a...whatever the hell that thing had been. Air conditioning unit, maybe? He tries to remember if the metal had felt cold, but all he can remember is blinding pain, so he abandons that train of thought and simply replies, “I’ll try my best not to.”

Mona goes last, running a hand through his hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead. She presses their foreheads together and whispers, “you scared me, Kurt.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know it’s not your fault,” she reassures. “You don’t need to apologize. Just get better, yeah?”

He nods. He can do that, he thinks. Probably. 

“And don’t you think you’re gonna be alone in that,” Reza says, and Kurt turns his head quickly to look at his best friend, having momentarily forgotten that they’d had an audience. 

“We’re all gonna be here for you,” Reza asserts, and Kurt sees everyone else nod in agreement. It’s a bit overwhelming, really, to have this proof laid in front of him that he is surrounded by people who care about him. He can’t stop a few tears from welling in his eyes, and he sniffs, trying to stop them before anyone sees.  

“Don’t cry, Uncle Kurt,” Shaba says, putting a small hand to his face. “We’re gonna make you all better.”

He smiles at her, raises a tired hand to ruffle affectionately through her hair. “I know you will,” he says, looking around the room, worried that someone might disagree, even now. 

“Of course we will,” says Rask, of all people. 

“We’ve got you,” Reza agrees. 

“Always,” adds Jasmine. 

“We’re here, Kurt,” finishes Mona. 

He knows he ought to be feeling a lot of things right now - upset at his injury, worried about the road ahead, pained by the memory of being crushed - but as he looks around the room, packed full of the people he cares about, and who care about him, all he can feel is happiness. 

thanks for reading this and sorry if it sucked! aghhh