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hello yumeship tumblr I have this new selfship server that I would like to advertise here since disboard is down for god knows how long. And I can assure you, THIS ONE DOESNT SUCK!!!
It is Roblox centered, but you do not need to be a Roblox selfshipper or player to join. Here is what we have to offer:
- Literally NO proshippers whatsoever! YIPPEE!
- A quick and easy verification system that still ensures that troll are kept out
- STARBOARD for silly antics
- System, fictionkin, otherkin, and therian friendly! Two of the mods are fictionkin and one of them (me) is otherkin so I can confirm
- a double friendly server to minimize mod intervention as well as rules that protect nonsharers! Everybody wins!
- associated with my OTHER selfship server that is NOT Roblox related but ALSO doesn’t suck and is a lot bigger!! Hooray!!
AND you can get your own personal channel if you ask very nicely!
So, what are you waiting for? Come on in and join us! We’d love to have you here!
#self ship community#selfship community#self ship#self shipping#self shipping community#yumeship#yumejoshi#yumedanshi#yumejin#selfship discord#roblox selfship#is that. a tag???#it is now.#i dont know how to actually tag things
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the star you've longed for
#PLEASE WATCH REVUE STARLIGHT!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥#project sekai#revue starlight#pjsk#emu otori#nene kusanagi#emunene#prsk#proseka#yuri win. i make my fav pairing fight tothe death#HAPPY EMUNENE WEEK LOOOOOL#Can i be hinestni think this sucks it took way too long cause i forgot how to draw for a week#im seeing demons and stuff. i feel more normal now. Also you may recall emu has a big hammer for revstar#thats the bottom of it the gem thing all the weapons have hers is sharp#i remember seeing meta post abt how mahiru has a blunt weapon because she never actually aimed for the lead role#rather she only wanted to be by karen's side. so her weapon wasnt capable of cutting anything in the first place#Fastforward to the movie and well LOLLLLL#though i think its funny in the movie her mace is still mostly used for i timidation againstbhikari.. bc again shes not winning for a lead#revue starlight youre neat. maybe i like revstar.#<- has been insane for 4+ years#Needed their pose to be smth where nenes weapon isnt visible because I DONT KNOW WHAT WEAPON TO GIVE HER. OOMFS HELP. I NEED A NENE WEAPON.#i thought some sort of polearm/spear/halberd etc something with range but that can be ambitious#but i feel like smth with that much footwork needed doesnt suit her.. And she cant hsve a sniper i dont think thatwould fucking work#aruru gets pistols in the revue but aruru also is Ummm well shes uhhh. [screaming] [car crash]#throwing knives would be funny wouldnt it. Put that gamer aim to use#idk if the emunene week tag is on here but i'll donit anyways#emuneneweek2024#EDIT: i have decided nene gets a rapier. its awesome. thanks for coming#tsukasa has his giant flag and i dont want to budge on that. im thinking about giving rui the throwing knives since he juggles.#it would be funny. saki + rui knife juggling
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mira !!! :]
#isat#in stars and time#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well#one of these miras is not like the other#one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA#a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D#so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue#the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms#i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL#side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA#funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA#mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but#the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf#or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm#but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events#which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king#and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA#but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally#one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]
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the scarf is coming along and soon I'll have to get used to wearing *gasp* actual colors that aren't black or grey or so dark they could be mistaken for black when it's dark out
#still not sure abt the colors#I kinda took whatever yarns felt comfy&homey to me#which might be why it matches my apartment decor a bit too much lmao going out dressed like my apartment sure okay that works#it's also giving ''scarecrow'' to me for some reason (tho.. I could be madder abt it like scarecrow could be a look)#anyways the joy of doing things urself is that u can choose whatever colors and just sorta see how it goes#like idk if it's colorblind combo but I think I'm definitely gonna be wearing it#(my main point wasn't to make something actually super good and great; just to have something to do and practice my knitting which like#I made a hat like 9 years ago and have barely done anything since (aside from like 4 random squares when I once thought I'd knit a blanket#but like dude?? a blanket as the second thing u've ever knitted?? that was too ambitious. So hence a scarf; a small blanket))#aesthetic#I truly dont know any arts&crafts tags#studyblr#booklr#bookblr#december 2024#2024
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"i dont hate this female character, i just have a nuanced take on her" and the nuanced take is comically stereotypical misogyny
#cough cough#i dont think i need to say it#meows post#edit i changed my mind im tagging this#teruhashi kokomi#mabel pines#ashley campbell#princess celestia#madoka kaname#also wanna say princess bubblegum and pink diamond but ik people are just gonna go 'blah blah blah but they actually did things wrong blah'#like yea i KNOW and thats not what im talking about#ALL these characters did things wrong because theyre developed and well rounded characters#like yes if pink diamond were a man she would still be criticized for what she did#but would people talk about him the way they do her? would they debate if his naivety was just disguised evil?#would they treat every mistake like it makes him an overall evil villain and erases all the things he did right? and his good intentions?#would they ignore all reasons he had for going as far as he did and say 'he shouldve found a better way' no matter how hard he alr tried?#pink diamond#rose quartz#princess bubblegum
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[ID: A reference image for a blue version of Mickey Mouse.
Their name is Mick, and they're wearing a black hoodie with the hood down, and a sleeveless denim jacket over it. The front of the jacket is covered in many pins, like the trans pride flag, the genderfluid flag, a black patch that says "the first pride was a riot", an ambiguous shape with a red crossed out symbol over it, a watermelon, the autism creature, and a small black patch that is cut off due to the angle, reading "eat the".
The back of the jacket has the Public Domain symbol, white a lower case C on a black background that is crossed out, with ears at the top to match Mick.
They are holding a dark blue offset cane, and have band aids on their leg, nose, and one finger.
Text around her says:
-any pronouns -soft spoken but stands up for their friends -fucks around and finds out -being of pure spite
Back patch should always be the public domain symbol with ears
Feel free to swap patches in the same theme or omit them for simplicity
Uses cane for balance, relieving pressure on his legs, and whacking people
Bandaids are optional and can be any color / placed anywhere (she's very clumsy)."
The very bottom of the page has the hashtag, "mickeysona".
End ID.]
lil something to celebrate the mouse entering the public domain :]
#mickey mouse#toon#actually disabled#public domain#mickeysona#gotta draw something ✏️#hope the disabled tag is ok since i gave him my disabilities lol#would love to see more disabled mickeysonas though#lets confuse the hell out of disney execs. hopefully#*also yes yes i know its only steamboat willie mickey but theres still a LOT you can do with that#TY rjalker for the image id!! i'm still figuring out how to write those#also the crossed out thing is an “ambiguous shape” bc i dont know if tumblr will delete it for the actual common patch#...even if its like against yknow. not sees
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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(i'll never know what it's like to love you)
#oh you know how you end up putting your heart in a cage never to be hurt again#do you. see what i did there#DO U GET IT#METAL GRATE OVER HIS HEART AND ALL#implied couch#whatever whatever theyre aughhhh#i actually dont really like this comic because among other things i fucked up with the saturation of the colors but whatever#the lyrics are from 'white knuckle jerk' by will wood. ok#vw made me start drawing comics. one drawing isnt enough to express how much i hate them#what if they banged and it was sad#<- this tag is actually stolen from another vw comic that i saw a while ago and couldnt stop thinking about#trigun#trigun 98#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun maximum#trimax#nicholas d. wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood fanart#vash the stampede#vash the stampede fanart#vashwood#vashwood fanart#will wood#my art
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Breaking point
Based on this post, for @aroace-poly-show 's Hollow☆Wonderland AU
#hollow ☆ wonderland#dialogue from enstars#FUCKKKK YOUU MARLOO MAKING ME FEEL THINGS FOR A GUY INSIDE AN ALTRRNATIVE STORY /lh#GET HW U DONT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BR A STAR BLASTED#this is only your fault. should not have given me perfect comic dialogue#anyway. i dont know how this scene plays out actually. but i think about it every day. and i assume its smth like this from ehat i know#kerizart#prsk#prsk art#prsk au#tenma tsukasa#kamishiro rui#wxs#a bit scared abt tagging this since. tsks angst. its kind of a sore spot for this fandom. but eh whatever#i needed to torture this guy some more. sorry. fav character privilege. and ur au is not helping
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Might be a hot take as a bkdk and tgck truther here, but I find izuocha endlessly fascinating, beautiful, but also tearfully tragic.
I see their love for each other as something representative of their innocence and naivety when they only knew so little about who they were, and what was to come.
I think the main barrier of their relationship is that its rooted in how they see each other very idealistically, specifically that they're attached to the image of their Best Heroic Selves, and not the deeply selfish, destructive, freaky, and egotistical parts of them. To each other, they need to keep fulfilling that image or else that same person they looked up to would almost die in front of them, and that would be too cruel. Although that hero is still there, that same person they looked up to is not the same now because of...well...everything.
Izuku had barely even talked to girls when he first met her. She was Izuku's first ever real friend (Sorry Kats, everyone and him knows he was terrible), so he saved her in that entrance exam even if it was so dangerous. She gave a new meaning to his derogatory nickname just by being a friend that believed in him. After that, she saved him several more times (Blackwhip and Megaphone are the biggest samples iirc). It makes perfect sense that she is Deku's hero.
Ochako hardly knew what it meant to be a hero when she first got into UA. Just by reaching out to some kid tripping, she made a new friend who would then save her in that exam, then save him again in return. This boy then became someone who was always working so hard to save everyone in trouble, and she realized she wanted to be just like him too. "I want to save people"
But...Deku changes. The weight of One for All is on his shoulders and he needs someone to carry this burden with him. He continues to want to save other people at the expense of himself, still not letting his true selfishness and ego ever show- and it only grows more and more unbearable.
Then...Ochako fell in love with Himiko. Truly, relentlessly, selfishly and devotedly in love with a girl who then dies giving her blood to her- the greatest expression of love Himiko could ever give.
Not that they can't love each other because of this happening (and...so many other things oh god), I'm honestly not sure how to explain it- But them ending up together after losing that innocence and naivety? After Ochako will forever grieve the girl who showed her love in its most beautiful and ugly form? After Izuku changed so fundamentally as a person that the butterflies of a nice girl talking to you doesn't exist anymore? After that simple image of being a hero and being in love has completely changed for them both?
Even so, I believe they still love each other. There is no label I know of that can properly describe them though. They are each other's image of being a hero when it comes to saving people. Aside from Shoto, no one else can grasp the grief of the person you tried to save dying in your hands. They would no doubt try to cope with these losses together, and just try to get better together...but so much has changed. They've changed. The world changed. What are they now? Who are they now?
"What happened...to us?"
#I just think the tragedy of falling out of love for the person who represents who they Used to be is so...so painful#Kacchan isn't even here yet and it's already so complicated.#also. Izch healing together after all this would also be really nice#if u like them ending up together thats also perfectly fine too. im just a bkdk and tgck truther myself. thats kinda my whole thing#but izch forming a deep bond from their experiences and saving eachother#and maybe later on trying to date too...oh boy#and them being able to just...be more casual again. talk abt their lives and dreams together too just so they know they have each other#oh itd be so healing and beautiful#im so glad izuku talked to ochako on that cliff man oh man...#izuocha the underrated tragic love that they could've been if ppl werent so close minded abt them#only the real izch fans understand just how much these two actually mean to each other. god bless yall I swear even if I dont ship ship it#thank u to that person who wrote abt them being characters than run in parallel#that narrative structure for them is permanently in my brain. I love these two so much its no joke#my Extra hot take is that izch wouldve been treated better by the fandom if it was gay.#but we'd still agree on bkdk as the endgame after all that happened. maybe. idk this is a hypothetical.#if you switch ock and kats genders...this wouldve been a very different story and fandom. insane food for thought with this one.#ok thats my yap for the night oh god i have so many feelings about them...#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#izuocha#actually confidently putting this tag now. sorry for the angst you guys...and maybe being seen as a traitor#im a strong girl I could take on potential haters hahaha...#izuku midoriya#ochako uraraka
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Yet ANOTHER intro post
Yeah here we go again um. HI I’m Marble, you can also call me Fan. I’m 19 years old. This is my main/selfship blog.
I’ve had this blog for two years, but my parents grounded me from the internet for like a year over a commonly misunderstood coping mechanism that they THOUGHT was some weird degenerate kink. I simply refer to that whole ordeal as “THE INCIDENT”.
When I initially came back I forgot how selfshipping works so I did a partial “rebrand” but now im back. So please bear with me.
Do not interact if you are proship or anything of the sort. Yall are nasty. I’m also SUPER uncomfortable with doubles im sorry. If you interact as a double then I cannot stop you from doing so, depending on the f/o I don’t really care, but if I have to block you then I will.
DO interact however if you have one of my platonic/familial f/os as a romantic f/o (or vice versa) and/or if we share a common special interest or hyperfixation. Yall are literally so cool I love having selfship inlaws
ANYWAYS. list is below the cut
Characters that currently have The Braincell:
•Folly (Regretevator) [romantic]
•Carolina Mach (Regretevator) [romantic]
•Sab (Regretevator) [familial, older brother]
• Subspace (PHIGHTING!) [romantic]
Characters I had on my f/o list before THE INCIDENT that I forgot the appeal of and now im waiting for the whimsy to kick back in:
•Black Hole (BFDI/BFB/TPOT) [romantic]
•Remote (BFDI/BFB/TPOT) [platonic]
• Carol (FNF) [platonic]
•Sunday (FNF) [familial, older sibling]
•Lukas (Minecraft Story Mode) [romantic]
•Amelia Euler/“scenty” (HFJONE) [romantic]
•Aradia Megido (homestuck) [romantic]
•Dirk Strider (homestuck) [romantic]
•Jade Harley (homestuck) [romantic]
•YinYang (inanimate insanity) [romantic]
Secret Third Option (both):
•Pico (FNF) [romantic]
Secret Fourth Option (I don’t think about them a lot but they’re fictionkin induced so they’re kinda important)
•Test Tube (inanimate insanity) [romantic]
•MePhone4 (inanimate insanity) [familial, dad]
•Bot (inanimate insanity) [familial, child]
•Paintbrush (inanimate insanity) [platonic]
•Lightbulb (inanimate insanity) [platonic]
The Ship Tags:
⚔️cosmic rivers🐟 - Dirk Strider/Cosmo Inada
🦴nivzadia✨- Aradia Megido/Nivzai Mutara
🐺jadefaun🦋- Jade Harley/Faun Neumann
🔮earthly delights♠️ - Folly/Willow
🥀gardenhammer🔥 - Carolina Mach/Caspian Vines
🏹bowspace💖 - Subspace/Crossbow
💚🌸guns and roses🔫🩵 - Pico/Rayne (I haven’t posted about them in a hot minute but they’ve existed for a REALLY long time and taking the new FNF update into consideration. I probably will soon)
#I have one mutual on here who isn’t exactly up to date on selfship culture#they’re gonna be SO confused when they see this but#fuck it we ball#anywho#intro post#self ship community#selfship community#self ship#self shipping#self shipping community#i dont know how to actually tag things
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original thief series basso & garrett :)
ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels
there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.
anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
#if i had a laptop and the skillset i would attempt a story mod because the thief modders who create whole mission stories#are GENIUS and also somewhat terrifying. love them! xoxox#anyway im actually kind of obsessed with parts of thi4f but its also like. not at that sweet spot of almost good enough to be fun#to talk about. which. for the record. has not stopped me from talking about it at length to people#the city itself actually fucking fascinates me. its almost alive and im SO mad that not a single part of that game is actually terrifying#it should be gnarlier and instead it feels a bit like it doesn't quite want to be trapped in the story it has to tell?#but between the level that has the bodies on the meathooks#and the scene with the bodies hanging from the rafters or whatever that was and garrett living in a clock tower#because the game is very much ALMOST about changing times and authoritarian violence and capitalism#(like. by virtue of how the story sort of spins out i think it misses it's mark on a lot of stuff here#in the sense that i dont feel like it actually wants to tell that story. it wants to. go in a different direction. or at least walk on top#of those themes instead of through it)#ANYWAY between all of those things. it does kind of live in my head rent free. they did create a compelling setting#SHAME THEY DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF IT#unrelated but i would've given thi4f a 10/10 if they kept garrett's fucking nail polish from the concept art. cowards. unforgivable#thief the dark project#i still have no idea how to tag the game series as a whole RIP#sorry for the dedicated dark project fans. if you know what the general series tag is. please let me know#garrett thief#basso thief
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Yk I never did truly recover from the sick fic chapter
#one day im gonna make a post overanalyzing every single frame from this chapter bc its just so good#everything from how confused sakura looks at the idea of them coming to visit him when hes sick#to suo suggesting they leave bc he knows them staying here the now will only make him worse/uncomfortable which is the last thing he needs#bc yeah although he shouldn't and doesnt have to hes used to dealing w/ things like this alone#hes convinced he needs to and thats not smth you can just expect to change from one visit#still i need my hurt/comfort sick fic sequel please and thank you#so we can get a full circle of sakuras character development where he actually lets them help/asks for it#and NO im NOT projecting 🙅♀️#i DONT just wanna see my son getting comforted through his sickness when hes at his most vulnerable nuh uh 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️#wind breaker#wind breaker spoilers#sakura haruka#ALSO ALL THIS ^^ WITHOUT EVEN MENTIONING THE REASON HES SICK IN THE FIRST PLACE LIKE????#MY SON WAS SO EMOTIONALY CONFLICTED AND CONFUSED THAT HE GAVE HIMSELF A FEVER 😭😭😭😭#ALSO also i seriously cannot get iver how scared he looks in the last panel like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#ok im going off in these tags rn i need to stop fr
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#★ my art#art#genshin art#genshin impact#fontaine siblings#lyney#lynette#freminet#lynette is eating deserts while lyney is distracted .#he doesnt need to know…#if u see this tag what do you think hes singing#actually wait does Anybody read tags or is that just a me thing#lighting practice…. if u see anything lit wrong No you didnt#ALSO ITS OCTOBER 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 I LOVE OCTOOOBERRRR#expect spooky art 😈🔥🔥🔥🔥#(Dont. i dont draw scary stuff. I dont know how.)#Do u think they’d match cheesey halloween outfits like. Those matching foods on amazon or smth#like pb&j#? do u guys see where im coming from
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satine <3
#shes just so#everything#shes everything#star wars#satine kryze#an art tag for convenience when searching my page guys <3#i dont know how her head wing things actually work and i could not be bothered checking so shhhh
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before it felt like a sin, ch. 1
pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
word count: 3000
summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.
And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.
She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.
a/n: Hi everyone!! I decided to post this here too...I'm slowly going through everything I've written so far, and I want to post each chapter here as I edit them. I'm hoping that this can be a way to a) get back in to writing more, and b) get better at my art as I make full illustrations for each chapter. Let me know what you think!! :)
There is nothing quite as horrible as being a muggle, Eloise thought savagely as she ripped out yet another stitch in the landscape she was embroidering. At least, it was supposed to be a landscape. Maybe with her head tilted to the left and with her eyes almost closed so everything blurred together, it might resemble one. She did just that, trying her hardest to make out some recognizable shape and blast the stupid practice of manually pushing colored thread through a fabric in some sort of -
“And what is this, Miss Babbit?”
Eloise jumped at the sound and looked up at the scowling face of her teacher, and then quickly back down at the tangled thread in her lap. Behind her, she could hear the hushed giggles of the other girls in her class.
“Oh! Er…it’s -”
“How long have you been here?” the woman interrupted.
“One hour…I just -”
“Don’t be smart with me. I mean, at this institute.”
“Five years.” Eloise glared down at her embroidery as if it had personally offended her. It wasn’t like she was actively trying to be bad at everything, but she had the distinct disadvantage - how had it ever come to be that she would be at a disadvantage to muggles? - of not having spent a lifetime being prepared for muggle society and all that it entailed. The last five years had been a monotonous, endless cycle of lessons designed to turn her into the perfect lady: French (a waste of time as Eloise was already fluent), embroidery (a waste of time as the things she embroidered weren’t actually useful), dancing (a waste of time as she was already engaged to be married - why would she bother trying to woo another silly man?), and her most dreaded class of all: etiquette. No matter how many years had been spent trying to assimilate into muggle culture, her thoughts still got muddled when she tried to remember the steps to a dance, or how to properly address the son of a duke.
Did it really matter, anyways, what the other girls thought? She had pretended her whole life to be the daughter she thought her parents had wanted - now she was simply pretending that she hadn’t been thrown into the muggle world without a second thought. What was a bit more pretending - that she didn’t care? That she hadn’t been tossed aside without a second thought?
“Exactly. Five years. And yet, you have shown no progress whatsoever. This -” a finger jabbed accusingly at the embroidery - “is absolutely horrendous. If your parents hadn’t continued to make such a sizeable donation every year, I would have deemed you a lost cause and sent you packing when you first arrived. How your family ever managed your betrothal to the son of an earl is beyond me.”
Eloise grimaced at the mention of her fiance as her teacher clapped her hands together to get the attention of the class - a wholly unnecessary action due to the fact that it was already being given. “Class is dismissed. Please collect your belongings and put them in the correct place. Remember, as future wives and mothers, you must be organized in all aspects of your life. Many of you will be managing important households and the slightest misstep -“ a slight glance to Eloise out of the corner of her eye - “can cause the biggest of scandals.”
Eloise raced to gather her things and leave the classroom before everyone else. No matter how many years had been spent at the school, she couldn’t help but hate sitting through the classes amongst the judgmental stares and snide remarks. Although things had started out shaky at the finishing school - to be expected, really, when you’ve grown up in wizarding society and then are then forced to live as a muggle - it still stung that after all these years, she still hadn’t found a friendly face. She was treated as if she were a pariah: it was as if the other girls just knew that something was different about her. But…wasn’t that the great irony of it all? She wasn’t different than them. She was a filthy squib.
When she first arrived at the school, she was an anomaly. A twelve-year-old girl who didn’t know how to play the piano or who the queen was. It was clear to everyone that Eloise wasn’t the charity case of the school - her parents were obviously quite wealthy - and yet they seemingly wanted nothing to do with her. Whereas the others got regular letters and visits from their family, it was as if Eloise were an orphan. Nothing new to her of course, but to her peers this otherness aided them in her ostracization.
Upon entering her room, she was abruptly pulled out of her thoughts. Something wasn’t right. Everything seemed the same: a twin bed perfectly made opposite a small wardrobe, a plain wooden desk placed between them. The weak afternoon sunlight shone through the window, illuminating her desk. But…there.
That…
Placed on her bed, resting on the pillow, was a letter.
She never received letters.
Eloise shoved her embroidery under her bed and hungrily grabbed at it, pausing when she saw the address. Miss E. Babbit. The Third Bedroom on the Left… It seemed vaguely familiar to her in a way she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
As she read the letter, though, it became apparent to her exactly why this was. Although not exactly the same as the one her brother had received six years earlier, it quickly became apparent that this was a Hogwarts letter. For her. For Miss E. Babbit.
Hands shaking, she set the letter down on her desk and sat on the edge of her bed. She smoothed her hands over her skirt over and over, taking comfort in the familiar softness as she tried to even her breathing.
How was this possible? She had all but accepted the fact that she was a squib. The shame of her family, a dirty secret to be hidden away and never talked about or mentioned again. Her parents had suspected as much by the time she had turned seven without any signs of magic whatsoever manifesting around her - not even a basic transformation of brussel sprouts to sweets during dinner. It was ultimately confirmed, however, when her own Hogwarts acceptance letter never arrived. She had spent the whole year before her banishment daydreaming about her life at Hogwarts, still optimistic that there could be something magical inside of her. Her brother, Leo, came home every holiday with wonderful stories of his new friends and teachers, and the subjects he was learning at school. Even back then, at twelve years old, Eloise hadn’t been sure if he was actually hopeful she wasn’t a squib, or if he had been trying to prolong the fantasy for her before it all came crashing down.
Although she had had five years to come to terms with her new life, there was still a small part of her that hoped. A small “what if…”. She had tried time and time again to squash that tiny ray of optimism that would escape every so often, tried so very hard to cultivate a hard exterior that wouldn’t let any sort of vulnerability shine through. And that optimism was a vulnerability, after all. It was that vulnerability that had made it absolutely impossible for her to fit in the muggle world, and made it so that she didn’t really want to try.
Five years to come to terms with the fact that she needed a new purpose for her life and…
…not anymore?
Eloise grabbed the letter and greedily read through it again, drinking in all of the words. She paused at the end, thinking. Was this a forgery? Some sort of awful joke orchestrated by her brother? Leo had never been cruel to her in the past; in fact, he was the one who always encouraged her and was the most probable source of the small optimism that remained within her. However, she had no way of knowing how he had changed since she had last seen him. It had been, after all, five very long years. And not once had she heard from him, even though he had promised her through huge sobbing gulps that he would never abandon her. Maybe their parents had slowly poisoned him against her. It would be right on the nose for them, after all.
Looking at the envelope again, however…Third Bedroom on the Left…no. It was too specific. Nobody in her previous life had any reason to even want to contact her again, and nobody in her current life even knew what Hogwarts was, let alone have the ability to convincingly forge a letter just to have some fun at her expense.
A light, bubbly feeling began to spread throughout her body as it sunk in that this was real. She was going to Hogwarts. Soon, a - squinting at the letter again - a Professor Fig would be contacting her and giving her things to study. A huge grin slowly spread across her face and she hugged the letter to her chest as she fell back on her bed. She read through it again. Was it the fifth time already? It felt as though no amount of times rereading the letter would ever be enough.
Eloise got up and walked over to look at the calendar on her desk. She was surprised to see that September 1st was in only two days. The days at the finishing school moved in such a strange, sluggish way. They all felt the same. Monotonous. French and Latin and embroidery and household management and Merlin even knows what else all blending into each other in an endless parade of dusty classrooms and gossip and boredom.
The light feeling left her in an instant as, after years of practice, the optimism was squashed back down. But how will you even get to London? And, her brain added sneakily, you haven’t even shown any signs of magic. Maybe you’ll just be returned back here after they realize their mistake.
No, she thought fiercely, gripping the letter. Until -
A tapping came from the window. A tentative smile returned at the sight of a tawny brown owl with another envelope in its beak. She ripped it open as soon as it was in her hands (again addressed to Miss E. Babbit) and along with the letter a small, purple pouch fell out of the envelope and onto her bed.
Miss Eloise Babbit,
I am pleased to be the wizard charged with such an important task as escorting you to Hogwarts in two days’ time. It is something extraordinary to be accepted in your fifth-year, and as such, I expect extraordinary things from you. I have enclosed a small pouch along with this envelope, and in it are some items that will be vital to you in the upcoming days. I have included books for you to study at your leisure, and a small gobstone that will bring you to our rendezvous point in London. All you have to do is touch it at noon on the 1st and you will be transported instantly.
Your family has not been informed of your acceptance. I am sure you understand why - at this, Eloise scoffed quietly to herself - which is why I will personally be your escort.
I am looking forward to meeting you and bringing you to the sorting ceremony in two days’ time.
Yours,
Eleazar Fig
The handwriting was tiny and spidery and cramped, but it didn’t stop Eloise from reading it with the same vigor as the previous letter and as many times. Finally, she turned to the small pouch that had fallen onto her bed when she opened the second envelope. It must have had an invisible extension charm, because it was filled to the brim with books on basic spellwork and general wizarding history. Professor Fig had no way of knowing, but Eloise had already read many of these books and many more during the year her brother had started Hogwarts, as she had needed to know absolutely everything about what would be awaiting her. A few years may have passed since she had stepped foot in her family’s library, but she couldn’t get the books or their contents out of her brain even if she had wanted to. She had really wanted to forget everything she knew about the magical world when it was confirmed she was a squib but it was a futile effort. As she zoned out during her piano lessons, she would find herself mentally going through the movements to cast different charms.
It was painful to be thinking about things from the life that had been ripped away from her, to know that what she was thinking about would never come to pass, that she would never be able to wield magic - and yet she couldn’t find herself able to stop.
As Eloise picked out one of the books and settled into her armchair, a steely resolve overcame her.
She would prove that she deserved to be there, and was just as capable as any of they were. She would make her parents regret ever discarding her like she was nothing.
She was worthy. She was capable. And she would prove it.
The morning of September 1st dawned cold and rainy. Absolutely perfect.
Eloise had pretended to be sick the night before, and no one had suspected a thing when she stayed in bed long after all of the other girls had gotten ready and headed to breakfast. As the last of the chattering faded away down the hallway, Eloise finally got out of bed and prepared herself for the day. It was difficult to sit still long enough to braid her hair. Her fingers wouldn’t stop trembling and she had to restart countless times. Finally, she tied the black ribbon at the end into a neat bow and turned to the drawer of her desk to retrieve the small purple pouch she had hidden away.
Everything she deemed important enough to come along with her had already been placed inside: the books from Professor Fig, the hair ribbons gifted to her by her brother many years ago, and some clothing. Nothing else was coming with. She needed the fresh start. Besides, anything else she might need would be supplied, as her acceptance letter had specifically stated that any school supplies would be provided to her.
Waiting the hours before noon came along proved to be more difficult than Eloise had imagined. Time seemed to be moving slower than the molasses that had come with the breakfast sent up to her, the steady patter of the rain becoming a sort of metronome keeping time as she paced back and forth. Wasn’t there anything that could distract her, even for a bit? She glanced at the clock. Only five minutes had passed since the last time. 10.35.
The second hand ticking away in tandem with the sound of rain splashing against her window.
What if this was all a trick? What if she arrived at Hogwarts, and they turned her away because they realized they had made a mistake? After all, why would they admit a sixteen-year-old? Surely she was too old; every other student had started Hogwarts at the age of twelve and had shown signs of magic much earlier than that. She still hadn’t shown any signs of magical capability whatsoever, and didn’t feel any different than she had before receiving the letter. It had to be a fluke.
As her thoughts started veering into the melancholy she was prone to, she shook her head. No. Today was a happy, exciting day. She wasn’t going to squash the optimism down today, not when she needed it most. All of these thoughts she was having were simply that: thoughts. Not reality. Hogwarts never made a mistake, and in all of the history books she had read, she couldn’t recall an instance of someone being turned away at the door. Granted, she had also never heard of someone being admitted so late. But, better to focus on what she did know, which was that she had gotten the letter. It must be right in its assumption that she had magic.
Trying to pass the time was easier said than done. She ended up quizzing herself on all of the charms she had memorized in the books sent by Professor Fig, moving an imaginary wand in the precise movements needed to successfully cast and focusing on her pronunciation. She had studied all of these forms late into both nights she had had the books, and when she would eventually close her eyes to sleep, the wand movements were all she saw.
Eloise was determined that she would receive pity from nobody. Nobody was going to look at her like she was lacking. She had gotten enough of that to last a lifetime, and now that she was given this opportunity she wasn’t about to waste it.
When noon finally struck, Eloise was ready and waiting. She eagerly grabbed the gobstone that was sitting on her desk and felt the familiar tugging sensation in her navel as she was whisked away to London and the beginning of her new life.
next chapter
#im just writing this fic for fun & since I’m editing it a bit#I thought it would be fun to challenge myself to do full illustrations for each chapter#(the reason I started these fanarts in the first place was for this🧍♀️)#if you actually read this I would love to know what you think!!#I keep going back & forth between wanting to make a master list and also explain my tag system on this tumblr#but at the same time I like the chaos…🤔#well let me know!! or if you have any suggestions!!💓😙#it starts off a bit slow but this story is VERY canon-divergent#and will have a lot of mythology/magical theory/pureblood society etc etc#i dont expect these to really get much traction bahahahahahaha#but im going to have a lot of fun rereading my fic & making these illustrations🥹💓#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfic#hogwarts legacy fic#oh also???? how do you format these things??????????????? anyways the chapter is up on ao3 and honestly the whole fic up to chapter 22😆😆#but if you have any suggestions lmk!!!!#like do I put the warnings for the whole fic on each chapter?? put only the chapter warnings??? literally this is me: 🧍♀️#a poor confused technology grandma
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