#i dont know exactly how to tag them
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
i don't know homestuck so im gonna roll two characters randomly and you decide if it's a ship that works ok
John and Dave. I do not know who these people are, go get em tiger
grem. johndave is the oldest possible ship in homestuck KJHASDFHJK... i also had fun with this so i rendered it a bit... i also sadstuck'd them..
still open for ship requests <33
#thank you for sendin a request even though you dont know hs :') yay<3#i know they used to go by pepsicola but i dont know if they still go by that#johndave#davejohn#??#i dont know exactly how to tag them#pepsicola#art#my art#asks!#homestuck#hs#john egbert#dave strider
314 notes
·
View notes
Text
terrisas really funny ithink
#kingdom hearts#kh#my art#image id in alt#kh fanart#Saix#saïx#isa#terra#kh terra#terrisa#Moonrocks#<-? I think people call them that sometimes. I think its cute#Kh saix#kh saïx#kh isa#Not tagging this xemsai because its only a little bit about it. I mean xemsais the joke but ykwim#Ok for real though ive been thinking about them these last few weeks and actually they're really cool 2me#Like theres whole “came back wrong” dynamic since isa remembers everything and terras basically a whole different person#And adding onto that saix and xemnas relationship wasnt exactly. Normal. So i could totally see something like isa-#-subconsciously reverting back to how he acted in kh2 while terras like ‘? You dont have to do that?” And like theyre both AFFECTED by-#-xemnas but in different ways and terra can see how xemnas was through isa and augh#Anyway. This is still an akusai house but i think isa can have an unhealthy one sided attachment to a person he barely knows out of their-#-resemblance to someone he ‘sacrificed himself to’ (kh character files words not mine).#It improves the biodiversity.#terraisa
708 notes
·
View notes
Text
NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
464 notes
·
View notes
Text
Who?
(Can't do digital art again yet. Traditional has been fun, though. Click for not blurry quality)
#dca#daycare attendant#moondrop#sundrop#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#fnaf eclipse#ruin eclipse#dca fandom#fanart#villain.jpeg#this was done in less than an hour and if you desire the lore and meaning behind it#it went through many stages. I didn't plan it I was taking a break from drawing l/o/t/r characters#initially it was going to be a creepy sun emboding moon's whole thing. Then moon playing pretend and mascarading as sun#then a nod to sun and moon being indeed the same person. something I usually dont draw because I view them as separate#then I accidentally added in moon's hat even though I already had the rays. because I rarely draw sun so it's instinct#and this all started because I had this vivid image of sun's wide eyes in shadows so deep you can make out his ghostly white iris#point is: not even I the artist know if this is eclipse. if this is sun. if this is moon. if this is them mid switch. this is the DCA#traditional art#done with grey brush pen tgat I added water to. a black brush. black fineliner. and several layers of white pencil to wash out that eye#(it was painted black)#plus white watercolour for the iris#yes I had to do it like this. the camera doesn't capture it well but in person all that work made the eye exactly how I envisioned it#what a tag rant for a fanart that took less than an hour before dinner lmao
326 notes
·
View notes
Text
A little costume with eyebrow whiskers again.. making their return lol..
#fantasy costume#fantasy fashion#fantasy aesthetic#No idea what to tag this generally or which tags are even used on tumblr lol... I think thats the thing I'm worst at with social media#is just knowing how to understand and use tags. I think I take them too literally or something or have trouble categorizing#Since I go to the tag and check it and it's too scattered of a group of things then I'm not sure whether something fits there#or not since it's like 'eh.. well.. there are also a lot of things in there that ARENt like what i'm posting''#I have like the opposite problem of those spam blogs that will tag their posts with 800 barely related things. like a picture of a random#girl in a dress and it's tagged 'the simpsons. macklemore. downton abbey. fortnite. girly things. gothic horror. vibes. brad pitt. golf.''#or whatever lol.. where I will feel like if less than 85% of the tag is exactly completely related to what im posting then its like 'eh...#maybe I shouldnt post there...who knows what its even for.. . what if theres some tv show named 'fantasy costume' which im unaware of#and people will assume i'm mocking the show' or some weird thing like that. Anyway lol#Another one I almost didn't post since I've just hated all my costumes recently.. I'm not sure why.. maybe my camera is getting old??#Because they look fine in person - it's more specifically that I dont like the PICTURES of them for the past 2-3 yrs or so. like i know#it's not my facial features it's more like... the lighting or something?? I just always feel so much like it looks nothing like how it#did in the mirror in real life. Like the colors will be off or it will be too bright or weirdly shadowed or something. maybe one day I#accidentally changed a setting on my camera and never changed it back. But it used to be a lot easier to find images I was okay with. -_-#I did just really want to do the eyebrow whiskers again though since I've always found them fun. And also to use the star things as part of#mouth jewelry. They're actually just star shaped paperclips that I kind of bent to be larger. Then the green shawl thing is a pillowcase#Looking back on it I would've liked to do horns or something since the top of the head is a bit bare lol#self
34 notes
·
View notes
Note
im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism
yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm
#enby-peep#lol its funny for me personally bc i see a lot of stuff that reminds me of my cousins daughter........ and shes autistic#but everyone in our family constantly and my cousin especially is like Shes you. You are her. Youre so alike.#So you were autistic and that explains your childhood#and i was like Um. I dont know :) i dont know........ i refused it and then i went to the psych for my adhd#he was like 🤨 can you fill out these sheets... and it was to see if i was hitting the markers#and i was hitting them. I was hitting them out the park but i also knew exactly what to answer... not to hear it#so i just answered it... incorrectly to myself. anyway that was 3 yrs ago and i still go ???? why did you lie ??? wtf#so. maybe my seungmin commentary is sometimes a commentary on myself also#but its the same reason being sent to therapy as a teenager didnt work on me bc i knew exactly what to say to be#told what i wanted to hear- youre a mature smart young woman- youre good. id just lie to hear that even if it wasnt actually helpful#and i succeeded. Im a great actress. i didnt want help i wanted to be perceived as normal and i was for a minute. incorrectly.#and probably negatively maybe if i didnt lie i'd be different now but I did and I did it again 3 yrs ago but..... I think ive finally left#idk. my weird obsession with being 'normal' behind- i dont follow the script as much as i did before and im much more honest about how i am#this is an insane set of tags LMAO#so sorry#i dont talk about this stuff often and its An Anniversary today i accidentally used this ask as an emotional dumping ground#some people have journals (seungmin) i have tags on a tumblr post#peace and love on planet earth
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Figured I should maybe post some of the droners stuff I've made
#there's more but a lot of it is lower quality doodles#& also im like that one post 'cons of hyperfixation: all my art is of the same guy' (team mirage)#oh well. onto other things (tagging them all)#droners#droners debbie#droners hannah#droners mina#droners victoria#droners adam#droners kami#droners corto#droners 2020#fanart#digital art#digital drawing#digital doodle#artists on tumblr#digital artist#digital illustration#illustrators on tumblr#art#drawing#my art#my artwork#artwork#doodle#digital artwork#illustrator#illustration#i still dont know how tumblr tagging exactly works if i tag 'my artwork' does that make it show up in results for 'artwork' too? wtf
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
146 notes
·
View notes
Text
harpoon shipping doodle :3
w/some hcs! cause UH ofc there r!!!! uhhhh also theyre supposed 2 b like tweens in this dont ask how or where theyre hanging out ok? yay <3
IF U DONT LIKE THE SHIP PLS JUST DONT INTERACT LIKE PLS JUST DONT B WEIRD ok love u
#eyestrain#<- just in case#these spot the difference games r getting harder((roy & wally)) im joking i think i draw them vry differently#i mean they both have freckles- but wally has way brighter hair & WAY MORE freckles + a different nose & green eyes-#listen i try ok#ALSO I TRED 2 DRAW SOME ACNE ON ROY CAN U SEE IT????? its vry smallll#also ahhaha ninjago referance hehehehKJHEkjhejKHFhesFHGiuaslfa idk i just wanted 2 draw it#i mean its not a DIRECT referance but if u see it u see it!#im not super happy w/my garth tbhhhhh i didnt know exactly wtf i was doing#i wish i knew how tf 2 draw scales aaaaaahhhhhhhhh ill figure it out 1 day#bc i started liking harpoon during the tt cartoon i decided 2 pull most of my decisions from there#although theres like barely any I CAN SEE THEM#anwaysy ANWYAYS tags.....uhm#thisis the scary part LMAOOO#harpoon shipping#roygarth#garthroy#???? which 1 do ppl use??? i just call them harpoon its cuter#blehhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#roy harper#garth#i dont want 2 tag them#jfc im scared#listen if u dont like me pls block me pls i beg of u oh man#puppee art#me posting smth that isnt my usual stuff>??? weirdddd
30 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello!
If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?
There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?
OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts
No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:
This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.
Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning
Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.
And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!
Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)
This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that
#not art#admin answers#paranatural#pnat#richard spender#pts-fic-notes-and-blog#before i continue on with tag ramble i just want to say tysm for leaving an ask!#none of my friends read this so ive been stewing on these thoughts for some months and i loved finally sharing them#this isn't exactly proof but the hijack possession seemingly being the final nail in the coffin for his and isabel's relationship.#idk it feels significant to me. thats one more tether to support kinda gone. someone who knows him well enough to know he's unwell#he seems not exactly content but fr incapable of not burning bridges as he is now. and considering how rashly he acts he REALLY needs those#to not do stupid shit all the god damn time with no buffer other than Lucifer. who for his measured approach to rick's hotheadedness#has honestly shown himself to be pretty lenient and kinda bad at controlling spender's more (self) destructive tendencies? so he dont count#to be clear i love spender to bits but he is dumb as rocks and has all the self preservation of a fruit fly. it needs to be said#also the lightning man... idk its WEIRD like especially on the reread its the thing that most consistently threatens him! it repeats#sure he gets chewed by a bat and banged up by forge but?? he somehow always comes back to lightning. catnine has it out for him#its something i didnt even really put together until i continued reading the flashback chapter AFTER getting this ask and went OHHHGNHF#which the only reason lightning is such a non issue is lucifer's powers. which belong to his sunglasses and not to the spirit in him#so its not like they can't be taken away he's just got a really good excuse for having those on all the time#TAGS GETTING SO LONG. ANYWAYS. i hope this is comprehensible lol
51 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Life Tracker updated for Episode 7! This one is much quicker than Episode 6 on account of not being on holiday at the time, even though there were two thirds more deaths this time. Previous posts: Session 6, Session 5, Session 4. Also Session 8 (finale) post!
As usual, close ups and commentary below the cut. I’ve also added another graph for the average time of each team, which will also be below the cut.
There was so much carnage! 45 whole deaths in a single session! Not all deaths were awarded time during the session, but Scott’s video advised that it would be added by next session, so I have taken the liberty to add all the time as I see fit, hence why Scott is back to 7.5 hours. I haven’t seen every episode yet (in fact, other than Scott, I’ve only seen those that have perma-died), so I’m not sure if anyone else’s time is a mismatch, but if so I’m happy to explain where I’m getting my time additions and subtractions from!
Now for some close ups.
First, there was enough chaos that I decided to take a close up of Session 6 and 7 together so we can properly appreciate it:
And a close up of Session 7 by itself:
So many people lost major time, so it’s interesting to see Scott’s uptick of time at the end - he ended on only 30 minutes less than he would have been if he hadn’t died at all this session. Pearl didn’t die at all, and got the kill credit for Martyn blowing himself up in a trap, so she actually ended the session 30 minutes better than she started it. Grian also did very well for himself - he killed and died so many times, but somehow ended on the exact time he would have been on if he had experienced a peaceful deathless session.
BigB, Cleo, and Martyn all ended the session 1 hour poorer than they started, and Bdubs and Scar ended 1.5 hours below where they would have been. Nosy Neighbours are thus doing super well, with Mean Gills and Clockers not too far behind, in terms of maintaining position from the start of the session.
TIES had an awful time this session, with Impulse and Tango both losing a net 2 hours, and Etho and Skizz losing a net 2.5 hours - and obviously Skizz entirely died.
Joel possibly had the worst time, losing a net 3.5 hours this session - though it didn’t help that 5 of his 7 deaths were all caused by the one person. Technically Jimmy didn’t do too badly, given he only lost a net 1.5 hours... but given that he was out of the series only an hour into the session, and also the first out entirely... it really didn’t go well for him either
I also find it interesting the sheer number of vertical lines this graph, the ones representing a death immediately followed by a kill or vice versa. I would love to figure out a way to show only one line at a time on the graph, so we can more easily see someone’s journey, but I haven’t had time to look into it yet.
Now onto the graph of the average times per team.
This one is super interesting to me, especially TIES’s line - they had the lowest average life right from the start, but somehow by Session 4, through Session 5, and for most of Session 6, they were the team with the highest average time, and then it quite literally went downhill from there. The only thing saving them from being last now is the fact that the Bad Boys are down to only a single living player, and even then Grian is doing far better than most of TIES.
It’s also interesting to me how Mean Gills had a significant time uptick at the end of both Session 6 and Session 7 (the first due to Martyn and the second due to Scott). Scott’s time was so high that it kept Mean Gills’ average time as yellow for all of Session 6 despite Martyn being red for most of it... and Martyn then got enough kills to keep it there. Mean Gills is also the only team in the entire graph to anywhere gain such consistent significant time.
These averages also coincide with the comments I made above about the time offset difference for each player from the start to end of the session. Mean Gills are doing well, but they’ve been doing well for so long that I’m sure most players are aware that they need to be a target. Nosy Neighbours are also doing well but I feel like they’ve flown under the radar, and are not a significant target right now.
Here is a close up of this graph with Sessions 1-4:
And the close up for Session 5-7:
And the Session 7 only close up:
I kept the dead players in the teams’ averages, since I think it is a better reflection of the teams’ strength as a whole, but I also created a version that excluded dead players. In those screenshots you can really see Bad Boys’ and TIES’ time jumping up at a death, instead of falling as it did here.
Here are the alternate averages graph:
And close ups:
This makes Bad Boys look a lot better, because Grian does have a lot of time... but he is also alone. And there is definitely strength in numbers. Two players at an hour and a half each can fend off an attacker more easily than a single player at three hours can... unless nerves and panic get to them, as we definitely saw this session.
Wow and I almost forgot to include the raw data for this session!
The first hour of the session:
The second hour of the session:
There is just so much death! Look at all the box outlines!! I could barely fit this data on two screens on the zoom I was on, and I did not want to zoom out further.
I also obviously have data for the averages, but it was too far away from the column with the times on it that I wasn’t sure if it would still be useful on its own? Let me know if you want to see it!
This has once again been fascinating to see, and I cannot wait to see how Session 8 will go. Will it be the last session? Will they go until everyone is dead? Will they somehow have enough people with enough time to get to Session 9? Will Mean Gills be the final two and get to play fun relaxing games like Scott was suggesting?
Only time will tell.
#limited life smp#24lsmp#limlife#once again i hate trying to work out what tags for a post#i got to this point in the tags before i realised i forgot to add the number data#i still love that impulse accidentally killed scott and became yellow again#and that scott also became yellow again#so there was less than 14 minutes between there still being two yellows on the server... and jimmy permadying#thirteen minutes and 41 seconds exactly by my calculations#which is crazy given we had whole sessions of yellows only#which meant it was hours between last green and first red#so less than a quarter of an hour between last yellows (and two of them!) and first permadeath is crazy#i always ramble in the tags bc i dont know how to wrap the post up#why do i always post these as im going to bed#its after midnight and im yawning now#anyway enjoy!#very glad i got to post this before the weekend ended this time#well it was still sunday when i started writing the post#its 12:15am on monday now. technically#my spreadsheets
280 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate that I have reoccurring themes in everything I make. YES this guy has a complex over the fact that everyone prefers his sibling AGAIN. YES he was ostracized by his peers since he was in primary school and never knew why until years later. URGH
#i dont know why the siblings thing ends up coming up as often as it does (read: i know exactly why) but uuurggh#do you ever. have an inside joke with your sibling that your abusive dad prefers you over them and it's so established it's casual banter#but everyone you've ever tried to be sincere with (your mother; your peers) have consistantly preferred your sibling over you#even your own friends and kids who were closer to your age range than theirs#do you ever have a conversation with your best friend where they tell you that at first they didn't want to be friends with you#because you were ''too Weird''#do you ever get praised by a friend who says she envied you in middle school because you ''never cared about being different''#meanwhile you had no idea you were different and just couldn't fucking fix it#it took me that to understand that people avoided me because i was Weird. i thought the reason i had no friends was bc i was shy#that and the fact that i Didnt Know What Was Socially Acceptable Or Not and other kids were scared of me bc i was ''to blunt''#i have learned to value honesty over nearly everything else but that's only because i wish everyone else did the same.#literally everything i write has a main protagonist with low to no emotional empathy. like. ok#every character i write has that thing where they always felt like they were a monster for not feeling the right things. mh#i wonder how that might reflect on how my whole world came crashing down once i realised emotional empathy is A Real Thing#and not just a lie people made up for virtue signaling#''there's no way people /literally/ feel sad /for/ other people. they just know rationally that it's bad'' deep sigh.#anyway thats why i will never shut up about the fact that empathy is morally neutral and not a prerequisite for being a ''''good person''''#emotions are morally neutral. thats why we say all emotions are valid. thats why thought crimes aren't real#in short: you will pry human!au no empathy janus and autistic remus from my cold dead hands#i have. so many fucking thoughts.#janus is literally JUST like ME for REAL#except for the lying mostly because i !!! taught myself out of that#THE AMOUNT OF WORK I HAVE DONE ON MYSELF. I HAVE CLAWED MY WAY OUT OF THE TRENCHES OF MENTAL ILLNESS ON MY OWN AND I AM PROUD OF THAT#MAYBE it's because i can never open up to anyone ever BUT it's also because im SKILLED and SWAG and SELF-AWARE and THE BEST EVER. and MODEST#rant#the tag rambler strikes again . apologies
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
all i have been able to think about today is that silly little knife game where you stab the spots between your fingers and try not to hurt yourself and how that silly little game is SO horrorkiller. i cant explain it it bothers me so much that i cant explain it but it just does its so them
they play it when theyre bored. because when in doubt bodily mutilation and the risk of hurt and pain is always an appealing one. and when i mean they i just mean killer because horror wouldn't wanna just hurt himself on the fly like that for funsies. he likes to see others hurt because hahaha FINALLY some damn entertainment!!! but hurting himself???? nononnno hes already got enough body pain as it is oh and killer has already grabbed his hand and started playing (and now horror can't back out because killer's got him sucked in the game)
they sing the silly little song. horror has all his fingers the knife goes chop chop chop if killer misses the spaces in between horror's fingers will come off! and they are both enraptured and both captured in this childishly morbid game. it's so anticipatory because they both know its all up to killer to decide if horror gets hurt. hes more than precise enough to keep the game going for hours long without ever hitting horror but would he want to keep it going for that long? horror doesn't know how long killer would want to wait before getting to see him react to getting hurt
and killer does eventually do it even after theyre sung the song over and over countless times and tried different harmonies and finally killer decides to end this little song and dance and stab into horror's hand. maybe he decides to do a finger. maybe the palm if he really wants to piss horror up. its sudden its surprising and GODDAMN is it painful!!!! horror's trying not to show it but with all the sweat and the way his fingers are twitching killer can see that it hurts him. it's a bit amusing :3
and then horror grabs the knife from killer and they do it all over again but this time horror's the one doing the stabbing. he's not as precise as killer. he hits him a lot more than killer hit him but goddamn it he is in PAIN and wants to let it out because hes annoying and irritated and goddamnit would killer just stop looking at him with that blank smile while he's bleeding out from his hand???? yeah horror's pissy
horror's annoyed and trying to get some form of petty revenge on killer (he likes it when he finally manages to get that stupid smile to falter just a little bit) and killer's watching horror desperately try not to just stab the knife through his oh so very exposed soul that he could very easily hurt if he really wanted to hurt killer. anyways the game finally ends when either one or both of them get bored! but thats fine!!! killer will get bored again and horror will end up escalating it to a messier point than it was before and the only thing that'll get hurt is the surface that they use to stab between fingers. oh and eachother of course :p
#just know that this was based solely off vibes going on in my head#none of this makes sense at all and i have no idea how to express what im thinking but DAMMIT i know what im talking about!!!!!#two sadists walk into a room. one of them enjoys pain one of them doesnt. they make out (horrorkiller)#i just really think theyre neat. it would be sweet to hear them sing that song. it fits them so well#horrorkiller has the knife game. kist has russian roulette. what does horrordust have#what homoerotic dangerously reckless game could horrordust play??? i dont particularly know..........#i remember playing this game when i was younger except i used a pencil. because i dont wanna fucking stab myself????#the song starts off by mentioning that they get drunk first which like. yeah that seems right#horror would start the game if he were first that way he'd get first turn and then get whiny when killer does it back#the knife goes chop chop chop NO IT DOESNT SILLY! the knife cuts the axe chops :3#horror's voice is all shaky and unstable from the anger and pain while killer's is smooth and calm despite him being hurt more#the dichotomy >>>> i love horrorkiller theyre my favorite mttduo!!!!#guy who feels too much and guy who doesnt feel enough. guy who tries to feel nothing is also there but this isnt about dust ok#cringe stuff i removed from the post: horrorkiller holding their mangled hands together while they play this game#the red and black of their blood mix together and drips on the floor from their ruined hands :3 so sweet..........#because horror needs a thing to squeeze while trying to pretend that killer stabbing through his fucking wrist doesnt hurt 💀#dust knows exactly what game they played the night before when horror starts wearing full gloves. and killer ditches his fingerless ones :3#kiiiillllerrrr stop showing off your stab wounds from your buddy thats not family friendly nor is it straight 😒😒😒😒#tricule hc#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#he's MENTIONED (like always. if the 3rd member of the trio wasn't mentioned in tags who would i be)#sans au#utmv#horrorkiller#horrorkiller nation (grand total of 5 people) cmere pspsspspspspsps#1/10 DONE for christmas uaagahhh. why did i tag this hrkl when technically all of my posts could be seen as mttpoly anywausLMAO im so tired#off to do the other 9/10 posts i have to finish.....hahahahaah iM SO TIRED WEARE STILL NOT OPENING GIFTS YET WTF PLEASE I WONT STAY AWAKE
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
#just make your own things away from#-endos if you hate us so much#endos/proendos: if antis want their own stuff and spaces away from us then they should make those things#anti endos: *creating atlasduo and the syspunk tag*#endos/proendos: i cant believe theyre actually doing that! wow! lets raid the tag and insult them for doing what we wanted them to!#i know this is a stretch but i cant help but feel reminded of how people would tell me to do things and then get mad at me for following-#-their exact instructions and taking them seriously. because apparently i wasnt supposed to actually do that. except now im not the victim-#-of that. and now the people who are on my side are doing that. i hate it. i hate it so much. dont say ONLY TO INVADE AND MOCK THE THINGS#also: congrats!! you are proving all of them right when they say we dont respect boundaries and crosstag!! you're making it worse!!#i can kind of understand the tag aspect simply because theyre calling themselves “punk” when theyre so fond of the psychiatric field.#but its still a dick move. and its even worse to say that if antis want versions of sp and pk that arent proendo they should make their own#-bot and app only to mock them for doing exactly that. it just reminds me too much of past experiences. i hate people that do that.#i dont care if they hate me at this point im with the anti endos on this one. and frankly im very disappointed that im actually saying this#lol.exe#blackout poetry#pro endo#endo safe#endo friendly#anti rq#radqueers fuck off#this is a new level of syscourse im yelling at my own community now
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
yk i feel like because I kind of skipped so much time in my daydreams, because my current main one is a future of my usual main one I keep feeling like my life is halfway over and I have to remind myself that I'm fifteen and that I have time and that im not losing anything right now
But it still just hurts so fucking much knowing that I will probably get "better" one day, that I'll need my daydreams less and I'm so fucking worried about that
I dont wanna hear "don't feel guilty for getting better" because I know I will, I will feel guilty for leaving my family, my friends, the loves of my fucking life. I need to know that it's okay to grieve something that I built myself, it's okay to grieve something - a whole universe of worlds - that kept me alive for so long, that still is keeping me alive.
I'm just stuck in this in-between of knowing absolutely nothing about my future but also knowing exactly how my life will turn out, even though I don't really. and I know that some part of me will always be lingering in my head, longing for a life I will never get to live, with people that will never be real.
@aesthetic-writer18
#my paras<3#Look at the tags Im begging you guysss#actually maladaptive#madd#I dont think anyone actually gets how I feel about them like these are full actual people#ik how Nya smiles#How Harley laughs#how Regulus ties his shoes even tho everyone tells him it's the wrong way#how Evan has that little bend in his finger and how he always says it makes piano easier even tho everyone knows that's bs#how Sarah has Evan's laugh#how Emmeline has Célines laugh but Evan's lips#how pierre laughs exactly like Regulus but his smile and eyes are nya's#how Kalypsos hands are so similar to Regulus's but her arms are more like nya's#I just fucking can't rn#maladaptive daydreaming#maladaptive daydreamer
14 notes
·
View notes